#i cant be in a relationship because i'm simply too much i ask for too much im too sensitive im too Much

[borderlineclown]

i so badly want to check her accounts bc i want to see how miserable she is but i know that isn't the reality

she moved on less than two months after the break up. less than two weeks after she was STILL begging me to get back together. all i would probably find is her content in her new relationship

[nyashykyunnie]

˗ˏˋ Jinwoo x Fem! Reader ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ˎˊ˗

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕚𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

・┆✦ Entry : 045 ✦ ┆・

╰┈➤ ❝ [ Only If You Say Yes ] ¡! ❞

Jinwoo was the type of boyfriend who never forced himself on you. He was too much of a gentleman you can't help but think maybe you're the toxic one in this relationship.

But he wouldn't give you the opportunity to let it sink in on how good he treats you because he would just bombard you with lovely kisses and gifts.

In the past, he always lacked the funds and time to spoil his precious beloved. Now that he has the means to shower you with luxury, how could he not?

Your lovely and brilliant smile would always be the first memory that plays in his head whenever he feels like burnout and exhaustion is about to swallow him whole. Those precious eyes of yours that never failed to glimmer like twinkling stars are in his mind as he pushes through a hard labor day.

His beloved's face that is like a tender flower blooming at the peak of springtime, his lover's blinding unparalleled beauty will never cease to make his heart stop.

So how could he, a man who is nothing more than a fool in love, not treat you tenderly as if he is handling the more fragile piece of gem?

Every single thing about you is so loveable.

The elders say that the honeymoon phase of a relationship comes and goes quite fast, but Jinwoo begs to differ.

He never really got out of it.

Nor is the fool willing to change his ways.

After all, would you really call it love if you can restrain yourself?

"Sarang, careful there" Jinwoo cooes gently, holding your hand as you curiously took one step in front of the other while playing atop a fallen log. "We wouldn't want you to be hurt."

"I'll be fine, my boyfriend is the scariest hunter after all!" You say proudly, like a proud puppy showing off its toy plush.

"I'm not that scary," Jinwoo hums, the corners of his eyes curling.

"You beat up Thomas Andre like a thug, are you not scary?" He immediately laughs nervously, embarrassed to hear his troublesome history with the fellow hunter.

"...It was justified, sarang, he pissed me off"

"Mhm," You skip, landing playfully on the ground with a soft thud, "So like a thug."

"Sarang...." Jinwoo sighs, relenting in this small banter knowing you will probably not shut up unless he gives in.

And that was the thing about you, you made Jinwoo instantly obedient. Sure, he always considered being polite with other people before but on particularly bad days, he secretly spat and cursed at those people while maintaining an insincere half smile while doing the facade. With you? You can bully him all you like and he would still love you.

Arguements? Rarely ever happens because he is always wrong unless we're talking about safety.

Why is there a need for a fight? Just tell him and he'll correct himself immediately.

Jinwoo just wants to devote himself to you.

That's all he wants.

To see you happy.

"Jagiya?" He calls out, gently tucking a strand behind your ear. "Can I hug you?"

"What's with that question?" You raise an eyebrow but still stretch your arms out for a hug.

Jinwoo's strong arms would immediately.

"Nothing just..." Jinwoo sighs, burying his nose on your hair to inhale the lovely scent he can never grow tired of. "Feeling a bit clingy."

"You know you can always hold me whenever" You say, rubbing his back which prompted the hunter to hold you even closer to himself.

"I don't want to make uncomfortable" He chuckles dryly, "What if I hold you while you're not feeling it?"

"You holding me will always make me happy"

"I still want to ask," Jinwoo smiles, kissing your cheek affectionately. "Just because"

"Jinwoo, you're being sappy, you can't even get drunk yet you're acting like you're drunk" You say, pinching the man's cheek which earned you a soft bite at your digit.

"Well... I cant blame you for saying that" He simply says.

He just wanted to cherish you, really. He really does. The trauma of war can never really be taken out of his system. It's only through you and his family that he can feel sane. If it weren't for that, he would as well be a hollow shell of a human being forced to be a vessel of war by his predecessor.

So don't blame him for being a bit weird sometimes.

He's just a little fucked up in the head after the war.

He'll come around.

But Jinwoo will always, always, cherish you.

꒰ 🪼 A/N: I am still in the process of having writer's block so please excuse this very bland story qwq. I'm mind blocked with Jinwoo and I feel so overstimulated. I might do different characters for now until I get my woowoo juices back. For now, please forgive me guys qwq꒱

ʚ(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ .｡✧･ﾟ: ~♡ — All stories written by kyunnie; translations, reposts, plagiarism are strictly forbidden.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

"I need more animalistic skeleton headcanons" ask and thou shall receive i love hc-dumping

This is just gonna be random skeletons i'm thinking of so like...gonna be all over the place

Killer definitely rubs his face all over color to basically mark him with his scent (and like...also because his tears stain)

Whenever nightmare is annoyed and wants to intimidate someone so the fuck off he basically puffs up like a cat, with his tendrils..tentacles..?

Papyrus purrs a lot, but its almost not noticable because his purring is so low.

Killer purrs loudly. Extra loudly when he is with color. He is a motor.

Nightmare purrs when he is reading books, he cant control it, its why he reads them when he is alone.

Killer growls at delta whenever he gets close to color, then proceeds to nuzzle color and purr loudly

Dust can be heard purring softly when talking to seemingly 'no one'

Dust growls and snarls the most out of the gang

When epic and cross play fight they snarl and growl a lot at eachother, then headbonk after they're done

Okay i cant think of anymore

Aww all of these are so cute! 💞

Dust purring while talking to Phantom Paps? That’s so cute I love that he just really loves his brother yall.

Epic and Cross playfighting and headbonking they’re too cute I love that for them

Nm loving reading so much that he literally can’t control his purring seems so adorable. I’m imagining his tentacles waving like a cats’ tails.

And I like the idea that killer weaponizes affection specifically just to fuck with Delta. He’ll purposely purr loudly and be extra touchy simply because he likes how it makes delta uncomfortable or annoyed. he probably likes putting delta in positions where he has to choose between stewing in uncomfortable silence or speak up and look like an asshole or a drama queen.

but when they’re actually alone is probably when all the purring and affection takes on a more genuine and less calculated, terrorital thing meant to psychologically fuck with someone lmaooo. cuz now it’s something genuine for genuine’s sake and there’s no one but the two of them.

now im just thinking about how killer’s relationship with giving and receiving genuine affection for no other reason than to be close. id imagine that the constant uncontrollable purring likely unsettled stage 2 for awhile there.

[luizd3ad]

Heyyyyyy :D :D

May I pleaseeeee request ploy!bartylus (that's probably spelt wrong) x reader? (Gn if that's okay!!!!) Like maybe reader it's supper into true crime or something similar but is a little over confident and a little stupid and keeps like kinda-ish-maybe accidently or not accidently seeking out active murders and not telling the boys before they go and like almost die now and then. or something. like anything is fine, I love ur writing so much ur so cool and amazing and thank you for existing please go drink water and have a lil snack that makes u happy and like don't eat a butterfly and idk ur very cool I hope you've had a great week and a good hair day and okay bye bye now um

I Was Just Curious... | Bartylus X Reader

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷

Pairing: Barty Crouch Jr x Regulus Black x GN! Reader WC: 1,623 CW: Talks of injury, being stabbed, blood loss, serial killers, murders, crime, police, swearing, polyamorous relationships. Author's Note: Omg, I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this out I've just been so busy lately thank you so much for the request and I hope you like it <3

ALSO HAPPY FUCKING SPOOKY SEASON EVERYONE!!!!

Summary: You cant help that you're curious...

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You were always so surprised that it took muggle police so long to figure out the identities and the patterns of the killers they were investigating. 

Honestly it didn't even feel like they were actually trying half the time.

It normally only took you about two days to figure out the identities of the people who were committing these crimes.

Admittedly you did have your magic and what not so that probably did give you what some might consider an ‘unfair’ advantage to the muggle police but that's besides the point.

The point was you liked finding out who these people were, you liked reading what crimes they had committed, obviously not to idolize them but because you were just simply curious. 

You were curious as to the why’s and what’s.

Why did they do it? Why those specific people? What drove them to this point? Ect. Ect.

So when you figured out that you could use your magic to find these people, that you could find out who they were. You perhaps got a little too excited. 

But who could blame you?

You finally had the chance to have answers to the questions that would flood your mind when you read about the heinous and disgusting acts that they would commit. 

So you would find them, confront them. Ask them the questions that would practically drive you mad and then turn them in. 

Was it the smartest thing in the world to confront murders and serial killers?

Absolutely not. Not in the slightest.

And your friends and boyfriends would tell how absolutely idiotic it was as often as they could. How they absolutely hated the fact that you were now putting yourself in danger in the name of curiosity.

The thing that bothered your boyfriends the most was that you would never tell anyone when you were going on your little ‘suicide missions’ as Barty called them. You would just leave, disappear without a word.

Now most of the time you would come home completely fine once in a while you came home with cuts and bruises, that would absolutely stress Regulus and Barty out to no end, but you never came hurt genuinely injured.

That was until today.

You had confronted a particularly nasty man. He was the worst of the worst at this point. 

He didn't appreciate being found out and he had no problem expressing that when he made the choice to come at you with a knife.

Now here you were stumbling into your dark and empty flat that you share with Barty and Regulus clutching to your side as the crimson sticky liquid seeped through your shirt coating your hand.

You had lost a decent amount of blood so you started to feel quite weak and dizzy already, apparating home probably was not the best choice in keeping your strength, but I digress.

You stumbled through the door clutching at your side bumping into the wall knocking over a picture frame glass shattering on the floor. You felt dizzy, weak and Merlin did it hurt like hell.

You were leaning against the wall for support, looking paler by the second slowly losing consciousness as you slowly sunk to the floor as the world around you started to fade into black. 

Eventually you had woken up to the sun spilling through the windows your eyes opening to see a white ceiling, the sun only making the white seem brighter. You couldn't help but close your eyes once again or the small wince that fell from your lips at the sudden brightens.

“Oh thank Salazar you're awake.”

You didn't have to look to know it was Regulus as he whispered; he sounded so relieved, so worried and so so exhausted.

You turned your head and opened your eyes meeting the sight of your normally stoic and well put together lover. 

Next to him was a sleeping Barty, he was curled up on a chair, his position looking beyond uncomfortable.

They both looked like hell.

They looked exhausted.

“Reg… Where…?”

You tried to speak but your throat hurt feeling so dry.

“Here, drink first.” Regulus helped you sit up slowly. 

You had felt a slight dull pain in your side where you had been stabbed. You watched as Regulus poured you a glass of water now realizing just how thirsty you were.

You gladly accepted the glass taking a long drink trying to help soothe your aching throat.

“We’re in St Mungo's, you've been passed out for over a day. Barty and I came home to find you bleeding on the floor… Y/N what in Merlin's name happened?” You had never heard Regulus sound so worried and concerned.

“I- I went to look for the man who's been killing people in London… he got upset that I knew it was him. He came after me…”

Your voice trailed off. You knew Regulus would be upset. He and Barty had told you countless times that you needed to stop but of course you never listened.

The sigh that left Regulus’ lips could only be described as disappointed and frustrated. 

“Why? Why do you constantly do this?! We could have lost you Y/N!”

It was rare that Regulus yelled or shouted but he had never yelled at you up until this point.

His yelling had woken Barty up to the sight of a very pissed Regulus and you looking down like a scolded child.

“Oh thank Merlin you're awake, angel.” 

Barty took no time to be at your side, completely ignoring Regulus and his scolding look. 

Barty tilled your chin up with his fingers kissing the tip of your nose and then your lips softly, he then looked into your eyes with so much love and relief that you almost forgot how mad Regulus was.

“Are you okay? How are you feeling? How's your pain? Do you need anything?”

“I’m fine Barty, just a little pain. I’m fine I promise.”

Yours and Bartys attention was pulled away from each other when you heard a small scoff come from Regulus.

“Alright, Black. What's crawled up your ass? Our angel is awake and fine. You should be grateful that they're okay.” 

Barty turned and looked at Regulus with a glare. He was clearly getting upset with what he considered Regulus’s ‘unnecessary and bitchy’ attitude. 

“Why don't you ask them how they got hurt in the first place?” Regulus’ jaw was clenched a little, not bothering to hide his irritation. 

Barty looked back at you a little hesitant and confused (something that was very unBarty-like) he then looked at you with raised eyebrows waiting for you to say something.

You were visibly hesitant and nervous.

“Go on. Tell him Y/N.” Regulus countied not trying to hide that he was still very pissed.

“I went to confront the man who has been murdering people in London. He attacked me.”

“Oh for fucks sake…” Barty mumbled running a hand through his hair. “We told you to stop doing that, Y/N.”

“I know, I know and I'm sorry I- I couldn't help it. I'm just so curious…”

“We understand that but your curiosity isn't worth your life… we can't lose you.” 

When you looked up at Regulus as he spoke the last thing you expected to see was the tears brimming in his eyes. 

That only made you feel worse. 

To see one of the loves of your life with tears in his eyes killed a part of you.

“You can't do this anymore, angel. I had never been so bloody scared in my life. Walking in our home and seeing your lifeless body… I can't ever go through that again. We can't ever go through that again.”

Barty’s words pulled your attention away from Regulus for a moment, your actions finally dawning on you.

You had been stupid. So fucking stupid. You felt terrible.

“I’m sorry. Truly. I won't do it anymore. I'll find another way to cure my curiosity. I- I didn't mean for it all to go this far… to worry you both so much. I feel terrible.”

“I'm not going to say that it's fine because it's not, but we understand. We just can't stand the idea of something happening to you. You mean everything to us. It would ruin us if something happened to you. It's supposed to be the three of us. Forever.”

Barty sat on the hospital bed next to you, his hand resting on yours as he looked at you with love and concern swimming in his eyes. “Regs right, angel. You have to stop these little suicide missions. If me and Reg were only a few more minutes late, who knows what would have happened.”

“You're both right. I'm done. Honest.”

“That's all we ask, amour. We love you too much to see something happen to you.” Regulus sat on the other side of you putting your hand in his and kissing your hand softly, his anger and frustration from before forgotten.

“I love you both so much…”

You whispered as the exhaustion from your body healing and the high amount of emotions caught up to you, slowly you started to fall asleep. 

The last thing you felt and heard before sleep consumed you was Barty crawling up next to you wrapping you in his arms and then the soft sound of Regulus chuckling.

You always knew you were lucky. That you were lucky beyond belief.

You had amazing friends and two amazing partners that meant the world to you.

In that moment you had realized that your questions would just have to remain unanswered. That being here with them was so much more important than any answer to any question you could ever have.

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

[anakin-pilled]

𝘨𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘰𝘶𝘴 - anakin skywalker x fem! reader (part two)

pairing: anakin skywalker x fem! reader

wordcount: 4.7k

warnings: no use of y/n

rating: rating: 18+ (my blog is 18+ only)

author's note: thank you so much to everyone who liked and reblogged the first chapter! it meant so much to me. i cant believe i managed to push out two chapters in a week!! this chapter might seem slow, but only because im still new to writing fanfics and im trying to find the right groove of things, but please be patient as i hope to fasten the pace and tension with the new few chapters. as always, proofread but please let me know if you see any mistakes and feel free to nicely provide any criticism or suggestions (pls). i really want to keep everything as canon compliant to the star wars universe (minus the timeline, that's unspecified), but i decided to take some creative liberties for minor cultural and geographic details. i get most of my information from wookiepedia or the star wars reddit, so if you have any questions about anything, i'm happy to send any links. okay im gonna stop yapping now. taglist at the bottom! creds to saradika for the header!

You couldn’t bear another moment of dinner with Anakin. Something about him set your nerves on fire and left you completely unsettled–in a good way, a way that you’ve rarely felt before. But it was a way that you didn’t know how to deal with, and this deeply troubled you. How were you going to spend the next ten rotations with him? It sounded like a disaster waiting to happen. You doubted Anakin would do anything wrong. No, you would be the one to do something wrong. Totally embarrassing yourself in front of him or unintentionally acting off-putting just because you found him too attractive.

Dammit, you were thinking like a schoolgirl with a crush. 

After retreating to your quarters, you began to pace around your room. You had to get yourself out of this situation. Avoidance was always your favorite escape plan. It made life simpler when you avoided anything that made you uncomfortable or anxious. You weren’t exactly sure how you would avoid the 6’2 hunk of a Jedi. Asking Gido to remove him was out of the question. You couldn’t have Anakin removed, especially after the Chancellor had been kind enough to request one of the Jedi’s best members. You were being immature and you knew it. It hadn’t even been a full day and this man already made you so nervous that you felt like going haywire. 

You gave yourself a small facepalm. “What am I going to do?” you whispered to yourself. You needed to put distance between you and Anakin. That way you would stay as unaffected as possible. Plus, it’s not like anything could happen between you two. Anakin was a Jedi, and you knew that the Jedi had some unorthodox rules surrounding relationships. However (a small and delusional) part of you already imagined a future between the two of you.  You already imagined your lips on his. A man that captivating only came around every few millennia. Well, that was hyperbolic of you to think. Even you, a celebrity with access to Coruscant’s rich and famous upper echelon, never came across a man like Anakin. When was the last time you even got fucked or had one good Holodrama kiss? Dating is hard when you’re a celebrity. You meet people with the wrong intentions–cocky men who care more about having you as some sort of trophy or are afraid of looking beneath you just because you’re more rich than them. Plus, aside from the shitty dating pool, you were simply too busy with your career to indulge in relationships and sex. It honestly quite was ironic considering many of your songs revolved around love. 

The more you thought, the more you felt trapped in your room. An intrusive thought popped into your head, but you quickly brushed away the thought before it got you in trouble. But then the thought appeared again, and you couldn’t help but entertain what your brain was saying.

Her presence is suffocating is the first thing Anakin thought as you left the room. As a trained Jedi, Anakin mastered the practice of shielding others' thoughts and emotions from affecting him. But you were being so loud through the Force. Anakin felt the same nervous energy he felt earlier in the day when he first met you. Except this time, he felt it ten times worse. 

Anakin knew he was being quiet during dinner. But it was hard to focus with your energy screaming in his ears! So, he focused on trying to enjoy his meal instead. You were nice, Anakin would give you that. But he felt if he talked to you, while also trying to stave off your energy from his, he would overwhelm himself. It was all too distracting–a feeling that Anakin rarely felt. 

Anakin then proceeded toward his assigned room, ready to prepare for the night. Luckily, he didn’t have to stay on guard the entire night as there was no threat direct threat to you in Coruscant. Sleep slowly became a stranger to Anakin in the past few months, so he welcomed the guest room’s luxurious, canopy bed with an unrefined flop. He lay there for a while, though he didn’t know how for long as he just stared at the window in front of him and thought. 

Anakin suddenly heard a crash! noise coming from the living room. He quickly jumped into action and ran towards the sound. What if an intruder was trying to harm you? Anakin wouldn’t let them get near you. Though he would protect you, a pang of annoyance ran through Anakin’s head. How could anyone gain access to your apartment? He went through your security details with Gido and made sure that all access points were being guarded by either a security guard or a droid. Anakin hoped this wouldn’t become another Padme situation–he wasn’t in the mood for a high-speed speeder chase tonight. Better yet, why didn’t he sense anything? Were you distracting him so much that his senses were dull? Anakin couldn’t have that happening if you were both to survive the next ten rotations together. 

As Anakin reached your living room and investigated the sound, he saw what object made the sound he heard. His eyes first laid sight on a broken flower vase. The turquoise vase was shattered into a million pieces on the floor. Anakin then looked at the figure next to the broken pottery and there you were, dressed in a dark robe, halfway to the entrance of your apartment. A look of shock, then brief fear and then embarrassment, went through your eyes when you saw Anakin standing before you with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyebrows raised. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Anakin questioned you with a glare. His voice had a deep edge to it. He was relieved that there was no intruder, but he wondered what you were doing. If he didn’t know any better, Anakin would say that it looked like you were in the middle of trying to leave your apartment. Except, Anakin did know better so he knew that was exactly what you were trying to do. The dark robes were a telltale sign of this–it disguised your figure and the hood covered a majority of your face. 

You cleared your throat before putting on a tight-lipped smile, “Oh, I was just trying to night walk in the gardens before going to bed.”

“The gardens? I thought they were closed for renovations. That’s what Gido told me.” There was a slight smirk on Anakin’s face as he replied. He knew he had you.

“Not for me. I have special access…you know, the building manager is a fan of mine. Perks of being famous.” You felt slimy using that as an excuse, but it was better than letting the Jedi know your true intentions. 

“Really?” Anakin admired you for doubling down on your lie, but once again, he could sense your energy through the force. You were hesitant, like you weren’t fully convinced of what you were saying either. Anakin continued, “Then why are you wearing such a thick robe? The weather has been warm lately, even at night. Don’t you think that you would sweat too much?” 

You chuckled nervously before saying, “I sweat all the time.” You quickly shook your head. Kriff that’s not what I meant! you cursed in your head. “I mean I’m used to sweating during practice and performances so it does not bother me too much. I felt chilly which is why I decided to wear my robe on my walk. Please excuse me for disturbing you, General. I must have been in such a rush that I accidentally knocked over this vase. I assure you that I did not intend to raise any alarm.”

“It looks like you were sneaking out to me. Is that why you feel so tense right now? You know, we Jedi can sense emotion. I can sense that you’re not being truthful. There’s no lying to me, pop star.” Anakin replied smoothly. 

You shook your head. It looks like your plan of trying to put distance between you and Anakin wasn’t going to work after all. You should have known–how could you outsmart a Jedi? It was easy to sneak out with your regular security staff, but Anakin was different. 

“I apologize. You’re right. I wasn’t going to take a walk in the gardens. I thought I could visit the night market on level 3204, the Alderaan district. I just needed to clear my head. I didn’t tell because I didn’t think there would be an issue since I was going to keep my identity hidden.” Anakin noted how your apology sounded genuine. 

“Level 3204. Isn’t that a bit far from you? I never suspected that you would stray anywhere past the 5000th level,” said Anakin. When people on Coruscant managed to achieve enough wealth to live on the 5000th level of Coruscant, it was very rare that they ventured anywhere below. The only people that ventured below were those dealing in shady business. That’s not to say that the 3000th level was necessarily bad–he knew that the lower levels were a mixture of the classes ranging from middle-class families to criminals. Anakin had been to almost all the levels of Corscant while on Jedi business. He had seen the most impoverished slums, where crime was rampant and everyone fended for themselves. Yet, he had also seen the richest that Coruscant had to offer–elegant restaurants, opulent theaters, and people dressed in the most expensive fabrics. It always amazed Anakin how in the capital city of the Republic, one of the richest planets in the galaxy, could house such a dichotomy. 

You took offense to Anakin’s words. What did he know about you? Sure, you were wealthy and privileged, but that didn’t mean you had to confine yourself to a small circle of society. You enjoyed visiting what Coruscant had to offer–the different cultures, species, etc. It may have been unconventional for someone of your status, but your parents raised you with humility. Anything you earned in this life could be taken away from you at any moment, so you tried your best to explore and enjoy everything while you still could. 

Now you weren’t thinking about this annoyingly handsome face or soft curls. You were thinking about how he pissed you off. Just another person making assumptions about who I am. Your eyes narrowed before dignifying Anakin with a response, “And where is it that I belong? Please enlighten me. What? Do you think just because I am rich, I wouldn’t dare mingle with anyone in a lower class than me?”

“That’s not how I intended my words to come across.”

“How did you mean for your words to come across?” Anakin felt your energy shift. You were no longer hesitant or nervous. 

“What I mean is that it is unorthodox for celebrities to venture anywhere below Coruscant’s surface. It’s not exactly the most celebrity-friendly place. I would know as I’ve to the 3000th level several times before,” Anakin explained.

“Well, I’m an unorthodox person then. I’ll let you know that I enjoy the night market in the Alderaan district, it has good food and honest people. Now, you can either accompany me or stay here and make more assumptions about me. Whatever you choose, I will still be attending the night market. Feel free to tell Gido.” You turned around and continued walking toward your front door before you were stopped by Anakin. 

“Kriff. You’re not going to make this easy, huh? Fine. I’m going with you to the market because it’s my duty to protect you, but don’t try anything.”

You first discovered this night market in Coruscant’s Alderaan district only a few months into your arrival on the planet. Your fame had not skyrocketed yet, so you could easily travel between Coruscant’s levels without being chased by HoloNet reporters or crazy fans. You stumbled upon the market one night while lost on level 3204. It was a serendipitous moment for you. The night market operated every night and was primarily inhabited by Alderaanian expats, however, there were a few stalls run by species from exotic planets who sold even more exotic goods and foods. At the time you discovered it, you were feeling homesick and lonely. Your home planet of Bar’leth was nothing like Coruscant. Though Bar’leth had some metropolitan cities, it also had greenery and fauna. And the population wasn’t nearly as dense as Coruscant! You grew up in Bar’leth’s capital city, but you could still name your neighbors and there was a sense of community. Coruscant had none of these features. The night market was more than just a market, it reminded you of a tiny piece of home in the most bustling place in all of the galaxy. 

The familiar smell of grilled bantha skewers and roasted pormork flooded your senses. The area was decorated with a mixture of bright, fluorescent neon lighting and the warm, cozy light from twinkle lights from the vendor’s stalls. Light music played in the background from a live band playing in a corner somewhere. Though the market was mainly filled with adults, the occasional child and their family were seen. You and Anakin walked at a comfortable place in the middle of the road. Neither of you was talking, just observing the scene around you. You observed how people interacted with each other and made up life stories for them in your head. Anakin observed for any potential danger. 

“I’m sorry for snapping on you earlier. I hate when people make assumptions about who I am. It’s a sensitive spot for me. You know, with my name always in the tabloids,” it was you who decided to speak first. 

Anakin listened before responding, “Maybe I was wrong to make those assumptions about you.” He still thought it was odd that you wanted to venture so below the surface, but if there was one thing that Anakin understood, it was your disdain for assumptions. As the Chosen One, everyone made assumptions about Anakin—assumptions he should act or think. And somehow, Anakin always failed to live up to people’s assumptions of him. There were very few people in his life who accepted him the way he was. This was another point of contention in his life. 

Instead of letting this event take place in a silent awkwardness like dinner, you decided to make an effort to keep the conversation going. Anakin didn’t directly apologize, but you took his words to be a positive sign. “I know it must be a shock to you that I wanted to visit this market. And you were partially right to judge, who would suspect that I stray far from my life on the surface? The truth is, no one would expect that from me which is exactly why I do what I do. Not even Gido knows that I come down here.” 

“What makes this specific place worth sneaking out for? Aren’t there any other places you would rather be than down here?” Anakin asked this question sincerely. He was curious about you. While he was no stranger to Coruscant’s rich elite, the people he met were confined the the political sector.  He knew how politicians acted and their thought processes, but he knew nothing about the other type of elite—the celebrities, like you. 

“It reminds me of home, and the simple days I used to live before the glitz and glamour. There was a farmer’s market on Bar’leth I frequented with my family. There was local produce, lots of gourmet food, and trinkets of all kinds. I stumbled upon this market by happenstance one day and I never stopped visiting it ever since,” you explain truthfully. You loved the life you lived now and you were extremely grateful for it. But nothing could compare to your old life when you could enjoy the simple pleasures of life without any care in the world. Nowadays life barely gives you a chance to breathe since you were always working on something–whether it is new music, media appearances, or special performances. “You know, you’re actually the first person I have told about this place. You better keep it a secret, or else.” Anakin could tell you were joking by the smile on your face. He returned your joke with a small smile of his own.

You continued the conversation by asking Anakin a question of his own, “Don’t you have a special place that you like to visit when life gets too hectic?”

Anakin’s automatic response was to give you a generic answer. Before he could give you that generic answer, he changed his mind. He knew that was too guarded, but he couldn’t help himself. Anakin had been hurt too many times now–hurt by life, by his actions, and by the actions of others. Opening up was a recipe for disaster, especially when Anakin knew how passionately he felt about almost everything in his life. The only person Anakin managed to completely open up to was Padme, but even she was off-put sometimes by the level of passion and truthfulness he displayed. She never verbally admitted it, but Anakin could tell. Though you two didn’t know each other very well and have had minimal conversation so far, something about your energy invited Anakin to open up. Your energy in the force was serene. However, it wasn’t the type of serenity that Anakin felt whenever he was at the Temple. At the Temple, it was so peaceful, it was almost like it was devoid of any energy–it perfectly balanced all the energies of all the Jedi order and created a feeling of equilibrium. Your energy was serene in a way that reminded Anakin of his mother–comforting and warm. He could feel it radiating off your person. Ever since Anakin left with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, he could never sense that same energy in anyone else. Not even Padme, whose energy was more dynamic and loud. Thus, Anakin decided to be honest with his answer. 

“There is a place that I like to escape to sometimes. It is located in a secluded corner of the Jedi temple and only accessible through the garden wing. I used to go there all the time as a Youngling and then a Padawan. It has the best view of Coruscant since it faces the intersection where the old Republic Theater house and Senate offices meet. On clear days, you can watch the sunset from there.” Anakin didn’t know that the Senate offices were in that direction until a few years after he moved to Coruscant. Once he found out Padme had stepped down as queen and became Naboo’s senator, he would stare at that intersection as a way to feel closer to Padme during their years apart. Despite the breakup, the spot still comforted Anakin because it served as a reminder of how far he had come. He was no longer a lovesick fool and rambunctious Padawan, but a mature and fully-fledged Jedi Knight. Through the transitional nature of life, that spot would always be there for Anakin. 

It was your turn to nod and listen to Anakin.

“How was it like…growing up in the Temple?,” you hesitated, not wanting to overstep any boundaries with Anakin. You remember how the tone of his voice earlier when you questioned him about Tatooine. 

“Growing up in the temple was…different. When I first arrived, I didn’t realize I would be living in a religious organization. There’s a lot about the Jedi that was very different from the life I lived on Tatooine. Though I can’t complain too much, I had a permanent roof over my head and food on my plate every day. And, there was practically no sand at all. The best part,” Anakin finished. 

“I imagine it’s like one big family, no?”

Anakin sucked his teeth in response before continuing, “Since I arrived at the Temple later than the normal age, I didn’t grow up with my crèche. We had lessons together every now and then, but if there was anybody I considered like family to be in the Temple, it would be my former master Obi-Wan, and my Padawan Ashoka. She’s actually a  fan—I promised her I would try to get an autograph.” Anakin looked sheepish at the mention of the autograph.  

“Remind me before you leave. I’ll make sure to sign something. Should I sign her lightsaber?” You made sure to make a serious face while looking at Anakin. Then, you let out a giggle. “I’m only kidding about the last part. Come on, let’s get something sweet.” Your pace picked up before leading Anakin in another direction. 

You stopped by a stall owned by an older Twi’lek lady who sold homemade rishi honeystix. The honeystix quickly became your favorite item at the market because of its’ sweet flavor and crispy batter. They were similar to a childhood favorite snack of yours, except the rishi honeystix was fried, not baked. 

“Can I have two honeystix please?” you asked the owner. She nodded yes before you handed her over the credits, adding some extra for a tip. The owner quickly prepared the dessert before handing it to you and sending a warm smile to both.

“Enjoy the sweet treat! I love seeing young couples like you visit the market,” she stated with a look of adoration on her face. 

You and Anakin straightened your postures and sent a sheepish smile to the owner. 

“Oh, we’re not-” “She’s not my-” You both said at the same time. 

The owner giggled out an apology before turning her back on the both of you and preoccupied herself with preparing more food. 

Her comment affected you more than you would have liked to admit. You couldn’t say you wished you were dating Anakin, you hard knew him after all. But the idea of someone mistaking you to be in a relationship with someone as attractive as Anakin made you feel a funny feeling. You felt a moment of giddy before telling yourself to calm down. 

You led Anakin toward an old fountain that sat in the middle of the market. “Ever tried these before? They’re the best! I don’t come here too often anymore, but whenever I do, I make an effort to buy these.” You then handed Anakin his dessert. 

“I don’t think I have had these before. The Jedi diet consists of the Temple’s cantina food and whatever rations we have for off-world assignments. Though I try to explore new foods when I have the chance,” Anakin stated. He picked up the dessert and observed it. Anakin didn’t have much of a sweet tooth, but he was intrigued by its flavor. A sweet aroma wafted off the dessert and even Anakin felt tempted to try it. 

You were looking toward the distance as Anakin inspected the dessert. You were about to take a bit of your honeystix when you made eye contact with a small figure in the distance. As your eyes focused on the figure, you realized you were looking at a young Rodian child. Their gaze shifted from your eyes to the dessert in hand. Despite the Alderaanian district being one of the more wealthy districts in the lower levels, many families still lived in borderline poverty. You smiled at the child in reassurance before getting up from the fountain and slowly making your way towards them.

Anakin looked up at the sound of your figure getting up and was about to ask you where you were going before he saw you walk to a child and kneel before them. He couldn’t hear what you were saying, but he saw you hand over your honeystix to the child. You hugged the child goodbye, but not before handing them a few extra credits. The child’s purple eyes widened and a bright smile appeared on their face. They gave you another hug before retreating to wherever they came from. 

You got back up from the ground and walked back toward the fountain without saying anything to Anakin. You continued like nothing happened and asked Anakin, “Did you enjoy it?”

He ignored your question. “What was that about?” He was referring to the instance in which you gave away your dessert to a child. 

“I saw the little one looking at my food, so I decided to go over there and offer it to them. I could tell she was hungry. It’s alright, I can always buy myself another.”

Anakin always believed that you could tell a lot about a society or individuals based on the way they treated children. He hated Tatooine and regarded it as one of the lowest civilized planets in the entire galaxy–for many reasons, of course, but the primary reason is that those on Tatooine had no issue trafficking children into slavery and treating them as chattel. He wished that more people displayed kindness toward him as a child. Anakin’s only crime was being born into the world, but aside from that, he was innocent and deserved to be treated with dignity and humanity. You were kind. It seemed like a bare minimum requirement to be astonished at, but with the type of people Anakin has had the displeasure of meeting, kindness was a trait he rarely witnessed outside of the Temple walls. 

You stared at Anakin as if you were waiting for him to say something, but he simply observed your face without saying anything. A timid look washed over your face before you turned your head to the side and blew a piece of hair out of your face. 

“Well, I think it’s time we head back.” 

Being with Anakin was different than you expected. At first, you were overwhelmed by his presence–caught off guard by the fact he looked like a literal god from one of those classical paintings located in one of Corucant’s largest art galleries. You’ve always had a soft spot for pretty boys. Plus, you also had a penchant for romanticizing almost every interaction and person in your life. Not always in the romantic sense though. From brief strangers to friends, you tried to put a positive spin on everyone you encountered. There was no way of telling if fate was real, but you liked to believe so. Anakin was no exception to these rules. 

You were so close to successfully sneaking out of your apartment, without being detected, until you accidentally bumped into that stupid vase. Anakin came running out while you scrambled to make it look like you hadn’t been caught in the middle of doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing. You knew that if Anakin found out that you were leaving the building, he would either force you to say or contact your manager. So, you lied and tried to convince him you weren’t sneaking out. Of course, he saw through you and you gave up without a fight, until he made that stupid comment. Lying was never your strong suit anyway and it wasn’t worth the hassle anyway. So, Anakin joined you on your night adventure. 

Though you were initially anxious, once to got to the market, you felt your head clear. This was your comfort place, and it soothed your racing heart and clouded mind. Once you were past that anxiousness, you found that Anakin had a calming presence, once you got over your initial nerves. Anakin was observational, though it was expected of him to be so. However, it felt like he was really listening to you and clinging to what you said. He looked pensive as you described why you liked the night market so much. You wanted to make conversation with him, you didn’t feel forced to. Maybe it was the nature of the predicament you were both and the fact that he would be your bodyguard for the next week and a half, but you felt drawn to him. You wanted to know more about who the “Hero with No Fear.” You feared that if you got to know him anymore, then you might fall for him.  Except, you had to stop yourself before it went any deeper than that. Once again, you reminded yourself that Anakin was a Jedi. Off-limits. So, as you settled into bed, you promised that you would actually keep your distance. There was no use in getting attached to him. The Jedi belonged to no one. 

taglist: @angie2274 @bunnylovesani @0709fullofstars @js-favnanadoongi @payton-dixonreader it wasn't letting me tag u ):

[alexglitches]

Incorrect Quote Time (Lightning Round Edition)

~Twisted Wonderland~

Deuce: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Ace!  Yuu: So Ace knows about this?  Deuce, walking away: No, this is between me and me!

~~~ Yuu: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to show them I don’t care about them.  Ace: That’s brilliant.  Yuu: Thank you, Deuce.

~~~

Deuce: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.  Yuu: Yuu: I'm gonna tell them.  Ace: Don't you dare.

~~~

Hyuu: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.  Hyuu: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'

~~~ Coralia: You wanna see how hardcore I am? Coralia: *punches wall* Coralia: Coralia: Take me to the hospital.

~~~ Yui: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?' Yui: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

~~~ Yuu: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?  Malleus: *chugs entire bottle*  Malleus: It’s perfume.

~~~

Riddle: Oh, fiddlesticks.  Yuu: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

~~~ Yuu: The results are in, I’m afraid you have updog…  Yuno: What’s updog?  Yuu: Yui! Get in here, I told you I could do it!

~~~ Coralia: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Yui is? Because Yui is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

~~~

Hyuu: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

~~~ Hyuu: You have to apologize to them Idia.  Idia: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

~~~ Idia: Date a girl who teleports around the room erratically when she gets anxious.  Hyuu: Bitch, that's an enderman.  Idia: Date an enderman, then.

~~~

Vil: Relationships should be 50/50. Enderman cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty. 

~~~

Malleus: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.  Ender Dragon: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

~~~

Ender Dragon: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.  Malleus: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.  Everyone at the table: *silence*  Enderman: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!  Yuu: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

~~~

[wjhik]

Whoa... (Jude Bellingham)

Y/N's POV:

Jude has always been much bigger than me. While he does make me feel safe, I cant help but be scared of  what he could do to me. Now, I will never ever think to vocalize this to Jude, but it is a thought that runs through the back of my mind. When Jude and I are arguing, I cant help but be afraid of him. He's so big, and even though I know he'll never hurt me, just his sheer size is scary. When you have a guy like him towering over you while he's angry, it's not the most amazing position to be.

Now you see, here's the catch: Jude knows he's big. In every way. And he loves tormenting me with that. Whether it be towering over me, making me all flustered and shy, or posting a picture of how small my hand looks in his, he loves teasing me for this. But, it's never gone farther than domestic. Because he knows how big he really is, he is so gentle with me in bed. He knows how much is too much. Even when I say I can take it, he knows I can't. He loves throwing me around, so when we had sex for the first time, I was really scared he was going to be very rough, and it didn't help that I was a virgin. I avoided having sex with him for the first year of our relationship, because 'We're still young. Why rush?' At least that's what I told him. I mean, I wasn't lying. We were only 18. I was worried he would lose interest, but he persisted.

Now, Jude and I sit on the beach together on a large beach  blanket. We have a few snacks and a cooler full of drinks. Jude is blabbering on about his future tour around the US while sipping on his beer (he's an english man i assume he likes beer). I'm just nodding my head and letting out an 'mmh' every now and then, to let him know I was listening, when reality, I'm just mesmerized at how his arms look right now. His usually light brown skin tanned into the perfect golden shade. He's wearing a sleeveless t-shirt. His veins are  bulging through his skin. 'How would his arm look around my ne-' My very intrusive thought are interrupted by fingers snapping in my face.

"Helllooo??" Jude asks me, snapping in my face. "I stopped talking, like, 5 minutes ago." He says as my eyes focus on him. "Where'd I lose you?" He asks, giggling at my state. "Sorry, baby. I was just looking at the sunset. How beautiful is that?" I point towards the sun, in front of us, all the shades of oranges and pinks swimming around in the sky. Normally, this would be a normal thing for me to zone out at, except for the fact that my eyes were burning into Jude. "Oh, really? Bullshit." Jude says, smiling at me. My arm drops down from it's outstretched position. "You can't be dressed like a slut and expect me not to stare." I tell him, in defeat. He lets out a dramatic gasp and puts his hand against his chest. This guy and his expressions...

"Wow. First, you violate me with your eyes. Now, you slut shame me? Outrageous." He tells me. Him and I both giggle at his ridiculous statement. Jude puts his arms around my shoulder and pulls me into him. I put  my hand on his chest and scrunch my legs up into his lap. I'm looking at the waves rolling onto the shore. I can feel Jude's eyes on me. He leans down and gives me a kiss on my forehead. I look up at him and kiss his lips. One thing leads to another, and he's on top of me, kissing my neck. "Jude...We shouldn't- Not here..." I say through whimpers and kisses. Jude, without saying anything, gets off of me and starts packing up. Before I can even help him, he's already done. He grabs me by the waist and lifts me up. I let out a squeal. He simply moves me off the blanket and places me back on my feet. He, so effortlessly, manhandles me. If he's  so comfortable being rough now, what's scaring him in bed? He grabs all the stuff and starts walking towards the car.

He never lets me carry things when were together. He strongly believes I will lose a limb or something if I help out. "You sit your pretty ass down. I got it." He'll say to me, or he'll say, "You're too pretty to work." Now, if he really means that or not, I don't know. I try to get some things out of his hands, but he just reciprocates by walking faster. At this point, I'm struggling to keep up, his long legs taking one step while I'm taking 5. We finally reach the car and he puts all of the stuff into the trunk. He gets into the passenger seat while I get into the driver's seat. "Ready, my passenger princess?" I ask him, buckling my seatbelt.

We've been driving for about 30 minutes now.  We're stopped at a red light when look down at my leg. Jude has his hand placed on my thigh. It's taking up basically my entire upper leg. He gives it a squeeze and I look up. I realize the light has gone green. I press on the gas and start driving again. Okay, Y/N. Shake it off.

Jude's POV:

What is this girl thinking about? She's been so out of it today. She doesn't seem upset, so what is it? Maybe she is upset. Maybe I did do something? No, but she looks happy. What is behind those eyes? Maybe I should break the ice a little. I connect my phone to the aux and navigate toward the 'my music' tab on the car screen. I bought Y/N a Mercedes AMG GT 2018 (a beautiful fucking car btw) for her 19th birthday last year. She's been denying it as a present and tried to convince me to sell it, but when she realized I wasn't going to, she started driving it. I put on some Kendrick (county building blues) and we both start singing along.

Y/N's POV:

Jude and I have been screaming our hearts out to 'Call Me Maybe' for the past 3 minutes. "So, call me mAybe." Jude sings, his voice cracking on the last word. I'm laughing at him hysterically. I'm struggling to keep my eyes on the road. I press the break suddenly, almost passing a red light. He laughs even harder. "We could've died, Jude!" I tell him, lightly smacking his chest. He dramatically looks around to see an empty street. He raises his eyebrow at me and leans in to kiss the put off my lips.

BEEP! BEEP!

Fuck. Jude and I break our kiss and press on the gas abruptly, jolting back into my seat at the sudden jerk. Jude is smirking in his seat. I peek at him from the side of my eye. He looks so sexy right now. I want him so bad. Okay, Y/N. Focus. You're almost home. Just a little bit longer.

(Smut)

"Mhh, fuck. Jude..." I moan as he kisses my neck. He has me pinned against a wall and is bent down, kissing me. My hands are stretched up, around his neck. "Let me take you to bed, baby." He asks me. Without replying he knows my answer. He puts his hands under my bum and effortlessly lifts me up. I'm kissing on his neck as he walks me to the bedroom.

Jude places me down on the bed and hovers over me. "Please do something, baby." I tell him, pulling him in for a kiss. He pulls away from me and says, "Tell me what you want, sweetie." He goes back in for a kiss. "Please fuck me. I need you so bad, baby." I beg him. Jude gets off of me and sits on the bed He grabs my arm and pulls me on top of him.

I start by kissing his face and then move down his neck. My hands run through his hair and then slowly slide down to his nipples. My fingers lightly pinch and then stroke his nipples as I move down his chest. Jude lets out a little moan. He only lets me take control when he wants to try something new. I wonder what he's up to. As I kiss my way to his belly, I cup and massages his balls.

I unbutton Jude's pants, lowering his zipper to reveal his erect cock. I really forget how big he is sometimes. It hasn't been that long him and I have had sex, but he shocks me every time. I pull his boxers out of the way and take him into my mouth. I try to push myself to fully swallow his dick, but I can't. He's too big. I feel Jude put his hand on the back of my head and push me down. I'm gagging and spluttering around him. "C'mon, baby. You can take it." He mocks me, pushing me down further. I try to open up my throat and take him as deep as I can. He groans as his pelvic bone smushes my nose.  I feel the sting in the corners of my eyes as tears start to run down my face. He feels himself get close and stops.

He takes him out of my mouth and he climbs on top of me. Jude quickly takes off the rest of my clothes and his shirt. He give himself a stroke and goes to put it in me. "Jude." I stop him by placing my hand on his lower stomach. "Can you get the lube?" I ask him. I am wet, but I don't think I can physically get wet enough for him not to hurt. He kisses me on the forehead and leans over to the side table. He pulls the drawer open, and grabs the lube out of it. He squeezes some straight onto my cunt. I wince at the cold feeling.

Jude sticks his fingers inside me. I moan into his shoulder. He's pumping two fingers into me at a continues speed to stretch me out. "Fuck, baby...I think I'm going to cum..." I tell him, biting his neck. "I know, baby. Cum around my fingers." He says to me. His face looks so focused on me. His fingers are filling me up so good. I let my orgasm taking over me. My legs start shaking as I grab at Jude's shoulders. I let out a string of curses as I cum around his finger.

Jude reaches over to the side table once again and squeezes some lube out onto his hand and rubs it onto his dick.  "Ready?" He asks me, lining himself up with my cunt. I nod at him as he puts it in. I wince at the pain. He pushes all the way into me. I look down at my stomach and see him bulging through. He takes one of my hands and puts it on my lower stomach. "You feel that, baby? You feel me in your stomach?" He says through deep breaths. He fucks me for a good while before he decided to switch it up. He gets up and pulls me off the bed. He takes me to our walk in closet where we have a couch. He bends me over the couch. facing a mirror. My gaze is focused on his veiny hands. His hand covers my entire stomach. He trails it up my body and  lands on my throat. He chokes me lightly as he slips back into me.

Jude fucks me into a oblivion. As he notices me getting comfortable he chokes me harder. I'm clenching around Jude's dick. "Fuck, baby. You feel so fucking good." I say. My voice is shaking because of how hard Jude is fucking me. "Taking this dick so well, love. You gonna cum for me?" He asks. "Mhh. Yes, baby. I'm going to cum." I say to him. My arm stretched behind me, rubbing his hair. Jude encourages me to cum for him. I cum around his dick for  the second time tonight. I feel Jude fill me up with his warmth. He pulls out of me and gets up to grab something to clean me up with. I lay down on the couch. breathing heavily. I doze off before Jude can return.

Jude's POV:

I walk back into the wardrobe where Y/N is. I see her completely knocked out. I can't help but smile. I go over to her and lift her up, bridal style. I drop her lightly on her side of the bed and tuck her into the blanket after cleaning her up. She subconsciously rolls over on her side, facing me. I tuck her underneath my arm and hold her close. She looks so  tiny and safe in my arms right now. I couldn't ask for a better girl.

Wattpad: funkyfishfeet

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[leafington]

𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙞 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚? 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙡𝙮, 𝙞 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙫𝙚 𝙞 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙚. - kiyoko s.

content warning !! - blackfem!reader, GAYGAYGAY, fluffy, lowercase intended just for the aesthetic, sneaking thru window trope, mentions of homophobia (nobody is, its just a reference)

young love. something to be treasured for those who experience it to the fullest, not everyone got to take part in the privelege of having someone truly care for you before adulthood. earlier in life, it didn't occur to you that you'd get to be one of the rare exceptions who got that opportunity. if you met your younger self, asking if you'd ended up with some mascot from your favorite cartoon then, you would laugh and tell yourself no, but you got an amazing girlfriend who's not only gorgeous but smart.

shimizu looks out for you like no one else does, conveniently bringing extra food for you when you forget your lunch, a spare pen when you've lost yours, and all that she asks in return is your affection? this relationship thing couldn't be any easier! of course, you don't hesitate to communicate with her because sometimes hugging her under the stairwell isn't enough.

it's around midnight, maybe a quarter past, sleep is far from you now as you toss and roll in your sheets. this leaves you no choice but to text the only other night owl you know.

'hi baby r u awake?' you, 12:26am

'no im sleeping really hard actually. snoring even.' kiyoko ❤️, 12:26am

'ofc i am darling, what did you need?' kiyoko ❤️, 12:26am

'can i come over pls? cant sleep' you, 12:27am

'mhm. windows unlocked.' kiyoko ❤️, 12:27am

in the dark of the night, you tread through the streets lit by only dim streetlights to your girlfriend. you go around the side of her home and climb the lofty tree to sit on the windowsill and let yourself inside, there she was, waiting for you with open arms. any normal person would simply let themselves in through the front, though only when their parents weren't as strict as shimizu's.

without sharing any other words besides 'hi', you crawl into her bed and make yourself comfortable. the both of you lie there for a bit before you decide to speak. "you smell nice, pretty." this makes her smile. "thank you. 's everything okay with you?" she checks in, playing with your hair a bit. "yeah. i just couldn't go back to sleep, guess it was a sign that i needed to see you." you grin lovingly, never getting enough of being around her. "don't get too comfortable, you can't stay the night." she warns, scooting over to nuzzle herself into your chest.

"says the one actively trying to cuddle me." you chuckle. "i don't get why your parents hate me so much, i'm literally the kindest girl in the whole wide world. not to mention the best girlfriend in the universe." she snickers at this, a small smile forming. "if that'll get you to sleep, keep thinking that way." shimizu thinks quietly, why do her parents not approve of you?

it isn't like they don't like her choice of partner, far from it. they've always been protective of her, wanting nothing short of the best for their baby girl, both you and them have that in common. when first meeting them, they did seem to have some sort of stick up their ass. hounding you with the basic questions of, "what do you plan on doing with our daughter?" "how'd you two meet?" "how can we be so sure you won't hurt her?" but your intentions with her are just as good as the next person, although she's convinced herself there'll never be a next one.

you're always in her head. "don't think too much about it, they'll warm up to me sooner or later." you kiss the crown of her head, nesting yourself there happily. "i hope so."

your relationship isn't widely shared around the school but it isn't private either, if people ask then you'll tell them, if they don't, then that's none of their business. when you see her out in the halls, you don't immediately attack her with kisses, a small wave is enough. but when the two of you are finally alone, it's different.

it's quiet now. the fan in her room being the only thing keeping it from being dead silent. the only problem with that is the thoughts that keep her conscious and overly aware. "y/n? you like me right?" she whispers. why? you don't know, though you never question her ways. "sometimes." you joke, following up with a short, "of course." shimizu hums at this.

silence again. you're halfway tempted to ask her what that was all about, but before you could even consider it, she flips you over—now straddling your lap while you're cozied up against her pillows. "woah, warning next time." you watch her practically stare into your soul, maybe there's something on your face? did she take your joke too seriously? hopefully it wasn't that. whatever she has to say, she's choked up about it. her lips twitch and tighten out of anticipation for whatever she was going to say.

she's in her own head a lot too.

your eyes soften, a hand gently guiding its way to her face. shimizu's worried look falters when feeling the warmth, her hand then coming up to cradle yours. "i love you. an ungodly amount at that. i'm not all that good at showing that but i do and i'm glad that we're together." she's still whispering, you still don't know why. it doesn't matter, you heard the l-word from her loud and clear.

it's... weird. not in a bad way though. she sounds so precious saying it too, as if it were something on her mind for the longest. there's this unsettling feeling about hearing it for the first time from someone who isn't your family.

maybe that's what it is.

she's your first, your only, and hopefully your last. shimizu's seen parts of you nobody else has even attempted to try to see, she's picked up your broken pieces, helped you when you needed it most. you're scared. scared of losing her, never getting a second chance at this again because it sounds too good to be true as harsh of a reality as it is.

you see it now. this is what people treasure so much, what they long to experience, how lucky you are to get to know what it's like so early in life.

"i love you too."

©2024 leafington dont steal please!! :)

[orngbanana]

ooo fengs ask you wanna talk about the fengs so bad oo

yes tumblr user possessable anything for you tumblr user possessable

these are so scrambled my god

the fengs, the fengs, i love the fengs an unhealthy amount, you give me any kind of codependent relationship in media and i'll gobble it up but codependent siblings just hit different esp twins

nuwa, nuwa, nuwa, poor, fucked up nuwa, as a younger sibling myself i relate to the feeling of not wanting to let go of your older sibling in any circumstance but MAN does she take it all the way

you could say that keeping your brother’s corpse “alive” and animated is an unhealthy way to deal with grief but omg who cares omg who careeersss?? (nuwa does)

as long as he's still with her nothing else matters, after all, he's still moving, even if it's wrong and his body isn't holding itself up right, he's still talking, even if it's barely discernible or hard for others to hear it; with those two things in mind he's basically all well and healthy! right?

i desperately want to know more about their life and thoughts before the main plot, we can get glimpses of it–the whole theater and opera love they had, nuwa has her feet binded so she cant walk at all, either hovering on that seat she has or sitting on fuxi’s lap; maybe he carried her most of the time before she got the former

we can assume nuwa’s a spoiled person, comes with being rich as all fuck, but with her feet being Like That i don't think she wasn't a victim of the beauty standards that we know of and whenever we see her in both of their memories she's not doing much but sitting and enjoying any moment she has with her brother, not doing any clan duties apart from organizing banquets so maybe she wasn't planned to have a busy future at all

she relies on fuxi for most of her decisions, she looks up to him a big amount, and in turn fuxi coddles her maybe a bit TOO much, telling her to not mind the diseased civilians they encounter–it's not their fault that they got sick and it's certainly not nuwa’s or his fault that it happened, so she can look away and not think about it, he'll make sure her worries are as minimal as possible

but wow what happens when he becomes one of the diseased? will she look away from that too? fuxi was basically as good as gone by the time they arrived in New Kunlun, so what was left for nuwa then? i don't think she was well versed in politics, so how would she lead without her brother? luckily she won't have to think about that either–eigong’s here to save the day!!

so her brother’s all well and dandy now and they can go back to their usual dynamic, yippee!!

i wonder if fuxi could actually form words even in his state, it's said he grunted out sounds but nuwa seemed to understand him just fine; that is if his talking isn't just one of her many delusions she leans onto so she doesn't have to acknowledge that he's rotting

with that said i have a lot of fuxi thoughts even if his actual self isn't seen much, he was raised to be his clan’s leader and loved theater, his profile said he was frivolous but responsible and i'm dying thinking about if his frivolous side is the one he showed nuwa the most, if he could be as relaxed as possible whenever he was with her and dutiful and stern when it came to his duties

obviously he was the more aware one of the situation with the virus and all and he still chose to shield her from that instead of bringing her attention to it so they could work on it together; it's clear that their relationship wasn't built on equality even if they loved e/o deeply–i could even self-indulgently compare it to an overprotective parent and their child who they think isn't qualified to deal with or think too much about the horrors around them so they simply drive their attention away from those things to keep their innocence in tact

and yet i still don't think he was as codependent with her as she was with him, maybe because he was so sure of her safety and well-being that he didn't feel like he had to crowd her with his presence, she has everything she could ever want in life, right? as long as she doesn't focus on the problems surrounding them and instead on the pleasures then he can be at ease

i will def ramble more later but im tired rn

[dokoni-mo]

So your wonderful sketches have sparked the fluff part of my brain with an idea!

What if bunny was an artist or simply liked doodling and they had a sketchbook. So maybe one day they left their sketchbook on the counter. And because Peepaw willy is nosy as fuck, he looks through it, and finds sketches of himself. Kinda a lot of sketches of him.

He’ll probably bring it up with his dear bunny, because they’re simply so cute to him. How sweet of them to doodle him💜. But personally i think this would be a disaster for three reasons.

1. Inflates his ego

2. Inflates his ego

3. Inflates his ego

Thoughts??

CHERRY ADLFKJAJKFF;A YOU CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THISSS /LH

warnings: age-gap relationship (reader 20 will almost 40), sensual touching, will likes to snoop lol, he's also obsessive, and VERY egotistical, sir kink, sexual themes, teasing, dom/sub undertones, allusions to corruption kink, not proofread IMSORRY

It depends on what you mean by a disaster tbh,, Like yes of course it's gonna inflate his ego to holy hell LMFAOO like just the thought of you sitting there on your own? Thinking of him so much that you draw him a bit of an embarrassing amount of times? Oh my god he is over the moon

You're not ever gonna share this information though. It's embarrassing, at least to you, so you'd never show him on your own. You'd show him some of the other things you draw, but never those ones. But you underestimate how nosy Will is. Especially when it comes to his bunny. He wants to know every single little thing about you, and he knows there's pages in that sketchbook he hasn't seen.

So when you leave your backpack unattended to whilst you're in the shower, of course he's gonna rummage through there. How could he not? When it's so easy? Besides, he's learning more about you. And, in turn, that'll help him take care of you better. Why wouldn't you like that?

He pours through your bag and digs out all your books and papers, reading over them all. He finds your handwriting cute, and some of your essays are actually interesting to him. He even finds some of the notes you pass back and forth to Michael during class.

He throws those away.

But oh what do we have here? Your sketchbook that you keep so heavily guarded. Why do you feel the need to hide things from him, little bun? Don't you trust him?

Shifting through the pages though, he quickly learns why you didn't share all the pages. Your art is somewhat stylized, but he can tell what those sketches are of.

Of him.

Pages and pages of him.

Oh bunny. Weren't you supposed to be focused on your lessons? Why are you doodling him in the margins of your notes then, hm? Did sir really occupy your mind that much? Oh sweetie, if you missed him that much, you were always welcome to come to his office. Just because you weren't in his bed didn't mean the two of you couldn't have some fun, not at all. Sir knows plenty of fun games he could show you there. You know you're always welcome, too.

Before he can delve too deep in his fantasies of you, you snatch the sketchbook out of his hands and slam it shut, your face beet-red. You had snuck up behind him after your shower, him too lost in his filthy thoughts to pay enough attention.

"What are you doing?" You ask him, feverishly with your sweet little eyes wide open.

He can't help but smirk as he steps closer to you, causing you to lean up against the kitchen counter with your sketchbook behind your back, "You know exactly what I'm doing, little bunny."

"I-It's not fair to look through my things like that... That's mean."

William chuckled as he placed each of his arms on the counter, pinning you in place as he leaned in close.

"Oh, sweet thing. You should know by now that sir doesn't ever play fair. Tell me," he said, only loud enough for you to hear, "When did you draw all those, hm?"

"I... " you trailed off, your gaze falling to the floor. William was quick to remedy this, using his large, strong hand to point your chin back up at him. His grey, lust-filled eyes staring into your timid ones.

"Answer me, bunny. Use your words like I taught you to."

Your face as getting hotter by the second, "It was... While I was bored doing homework..."

The brit tutted, "But that's when you should be paying attention to your studies, is it not?"

"Y-Yes... It is, sir."

William's other hand found its home on your waist, "But what were you doing instead, little one?"

He already knew the answer. He just wanted to hear you say it.

You bit the inside of your cheek, "I was... I was thinking about you. And that I missed you, sir..."

The older man let out a low groan from the back of his throat, a wash of pleasure rolling down his spine. Oh you just loved him that much, didn't you bunny? He just made you feel that good, didn't he? Where that's all you could ever think about? Only him? Precious rabbit. If only you knew just how much he thought of you.

William's thumb pressed against your bottom lip as he studied your face, the tightness in his pants becoming hard to ignore.

"Oh, bunny," he cooed, "whatever will I do with you? I'm not sure whether if its appropriate to punish you or reward you."

The brit's thumb slid across on your lips as you spoke.

"Th-that's for you to decide, sir."

His smirk depended at your words, the pressure in his pants too hard to ignore now.

Perhaps you could help with that, wouldn't you?

"I suppose it is, isn't it? Good bunny. On your knees, little one. Now."

[marunalu]

You say you're a non-shipper but then why are you out there getting all pissy at people for LITERALLY ONLY SHIPPING BkDk and getting overly preotective of Izuocha??

Don't try take this as me hating on Izuocha/Ochako because OhMyGoD i MuSt Be A bKdK sHiPpEr AnD oChAkO iS gEtTiNg In ThE wAy Of My sHip

Just so you know I don't ship Bkdk really don't and yes I admit I love Izuocha

And I'm not doing this just to be rude/mean and try to be a bitchy ass piss baby I seriously wanna know

You call Bkdks hypocrites but here you are being so obnoxious and toxic over a ship???

Shipping is literally only saying hey wonder how these two would be in a relationship without everyone jumping you and telling you that ThIs ShIp WiLl NeVeR bE cAnOn BeCaUsE so and so

Everyone gets it, no way a shonen manga MC will be explicitly stated as Gay and I also get that you really hate bakugou, to each their own you have your reasons which are just as valid as everyone else's but why be so rude and toxic for no reason to people literally only enjoying their ship??

Just because Im a non-shipper I cant talk about my opinion about a ship I hate and its toxic fanbase on MY blog??? 🤨 If I get asks about that topic of course I answer them if Im in the mood or have time! And where am I rude or toxic? Im talking about MY opinion and MY thoughts on MY blog! If a bkdk shipper cant handle my critism of bakugou or their ship thats THEIR problem and not mine! I dont go to bakugou fans or bkdk shippers blogs and posts and attack them, I try to stay away from them as good as I can, unlike all the bkdk shippers who attacked, insultet and told me to kill myself! I never have done something like that and never would! So WHERE am I toxic?? Because I have an opinion I talk about on social media?? Then what are hardcore bkdk shippers of the caliber like dekakchan to you, who openly attack anti bkdk shippers and even other bkdk shippers if their opinion is not the same as theirs on a daily basis, say terrible sexist things about ochako, downplay every other relationship izuku has with his other friends and afterwards play victim when other people call them out for their bullshit?! Why arent you calling out that kind of people instead?!

If I had a problem with the normal part of the bkdk fanbase who just ship for the lolz I wouldnt allow bkdk shippers to follow me and would tell all of them to fuck off! All the bkdk shippers that follow me and I interact with accept that I hate bakugou and bkdk and never attacked me for it nor did I ever attack them! In my posts Im talking about the toxic part of the bkdk shipper fanbase who attack others because their opinion differs from them, because this people are the main reason why bkdk shippers have such a horrible reputation in the rest of the mha fanbase! Thats my right! I can talk and rant on my blog about whatever the hell I want and if people dont like that they can block me for all I care! Or at least blog the anti bkdk and anti bakugou tag, so they dont have to see this kind of posts. If they dont do that thats not my problem, simple as that!

And about the izuocha ship. While I dont ship it, I still think its a cute and wholesome ship like I think iidadeku or tododeku are too and Im supportive of all of them, but I dont look for fanfictions or fanarts of that ships, because Im not interested in shipping. Being a non-shipper doesnt mean, you cant defend a ship or support it though or that you cant like a ship, it just means its not where your main focus is on! Im supportive of izuocha, because ochako gets so much hate from bkdk shippers, simply because they see her as a treat to their ship and because she exists!

And about you saying that everyone knows and accepts that izuku and bakugou arent gay: man you never have read the bkdk posts on twitter, havent you?! 🤣

[khaleesiofalicante]

hi! i need to get something off my chest, like in shadowhunter world both tv and books, books is my favourite not because i hate tv characters (bc teh emotional vulnerability was very well done there- i literally it was so hard to wait for my school to get over so i could watch the show) but bc books is the original stuff which i fell in love with for teh first time, also why though all teh series are really good in shadow world but tmi holds a special place in my heart (no matter how imperfect it is in certain places) which i think also translates into my love for book!malec more than show!malec. (the height difference bugs me so much in show bc its not the right one, alec loves being shorter than magnus, but i love matt sorry harry but matt is yeeahhh...) idk why i have never been able to attach myself to show malec fics as much to book!malec fics. I think the only long show!malec fic i read was yours that you made about detective alec and lawyer magnus, but that was bc i love your writing and stories (i love the book!malec and mavid ones more sorry !! but i cant david is an original character but i love him so much, sry got sidetracked) tbh i also felt that the next malec fic would be show malec bc i cant (even tho i have read the lmlt i think it was named.. one of teh first long fics you wrote which had asmodeus and alec relation) imagine book alec having a relationship with asmodeus which is even remotely decent. but show malec have always been more softer and more communicative about their vulnerabilities. (which makes me realize now, i also love the intensity of book!malec more, huh)

Anyways i dont know why i blabbered, but i see so many posts about it but i am sorry show malec but book malec is it for me. or more like every book character esp jace and clary is it for me than show clace too. (i think it was also because of the actors though jace's actor did an amazing job in the later seasons.) But i can't wait for your new malec fic, i am ready to gobble up anything you put out there srsly, like i trust you are gonna make it worth it (like i never thought i would like the rwrb fic so much as i do rn, bc like in my hea di have already read teh book and i know what happens but yeah i should have known!)

Also have you ever thought of making a show and book crossover fic? i think you made one maybe i dont remember but like would you ever consider working in that world again?

No, I think this is fair. You're allowed to have a preference. I like book malec better too - simply because there is more to their characters and I usually prefer book versions anyway.

Regarding the fic, first things first, you can imagine them however you want! I know for a fact not everyone who read TLND imagined Alec as Sebastian Stan (I will stand by this casting!!). But it's how I, as the writer, imagined it. My castings are simply for me - to be very honest. I pick faces and people who help me visualize my characters better. But that does not mean you have to do it too. I'm sure people on ao3 who read my fics but don't follow me tumblr have no idea about any of these castings. So, yeah. You can imagine them however you want.

I also want to note, since I got another ask about this as well, that the casting I choose doesn't really affect the personality and behavior of the characters. It's the other way around really. Sure in the show Alec doesn't have blue eyes and Magnus is shorter, but those (among a few other differences) are completely irrelevant to this fic. If someone is put off by Magnus being shorter (in my fic, I mean) then that's their problem. It's such a mundane detail (for me) and I'm not going to be mentioning the colour of their eyes and their height every five seconds. This fic is rather different so I doubt it'd be mentioned at all (considering it's alec pov too - if you notice he is the kind of character where i don't write a lot of descriptions for the people he interacts with because Alec doesn't care about that a lot)

But yeah. It really shouldn't matter. At least I hope not <3

[the-enby-bird]

BEGGING you to share your ravage and megatron thoughts 🙏

my thoughts are incomprehensible. all there is in my head is a video of megatron slowly spinning around in an office chair with ravage on his lap like he's trying to be dramatic and villainous but keeps overshooting the spin

i'm just considering... they're so dedicated to eachother. they would die for eachother and they love eachother so much but they're both terrified to say it. their love language is simply coexisting and it's the sweetest thing to me.

pre-war, soundwave & ravage meeting megatron for the first time and rav being absurdly excited that someone other than 'wave actually listens to her and takes her suggestions to heart? someone outside of her little family who she can exist around with no need for pretenses or masks? ravage standing next to him at speeches and rallies, finding refuge on his shoulders when there's too many mechs around, encouraging megs and glaring away critics (and probably doing far worse to any mech putting megs at risk)

ravage helping megatron write poetry, even just sitting around him and providing words that he cant think of (megatron feels like the sort of mech to be a walking thesaurus, but occasionally blank on words and come up to ravage and ask "what do you call the dirt spoon" and watch ravage's attempts not to laugh as she explains that the word is shovel)

megatron coming back from a battle hurt, and ravage pinning him to the bed so he'll actually rest, all under the guise of just delivering a report (they both know that's a lie, but that's thte whole point of their relationship - there are no masks between them, the pretenses are only for those around them)

post-rav's death in mtmte (-bursts out sobbing at the reminder that happened-) and megatron waking up at night with a distinct lack of warm cat in his vicinity, megs hearing rattles in the vents and always foolishly, futilely, looking up in hopes that it's ravage, that he's okay, because how can he exist without his little cat-shaped shadow when rav has been there for so long? and who would he even talk to about it - soundwave? drift? they've lost their beloved too, and its mostly megatron's fault, at least in his eyes - and who else would understand the feeling of that silent comfort that he could always turn to, no questions asked, how does one recover in the absence of the mech that knew you too well for you to ever need words?

im also thinking about drift and megatron bonding after ravage's death,,,,,, but that's a set of rambles for another day

i am just... i am Unusual about them. they love each other so much

[slashingdisneypasta]

Alrighty, here's the Ursula and octopus facts ask I promised. I hope you get a kick out of these facts!

(I know you said that you'd be focusing on your school and original writing for a few weeks. I promise I'm not trying to get you to respond or anything, these asks are meant to be for later before I forget to send them. Though if you'd rather I stop, I completely understand and I apologize)

- around two-thirds of an octopus' neurons are in their tentacles, meaning they actually have a mind of their own in more ways than one. Imagine you're hanging out with Ursula, but she's too focused on her potion-making or something to notice you or pay attention to you, but her tentacles are just immediately drawn to you (this can be as sweet or spicy as you want it to be)

- The blood of an octopus is blue. Considering the popular saying that royalty have blue blood and the fact that Ursula said she was a part of the royal court, I like to think that was a silent nod to this fact.

- As the image shows, what you might expect to be where an octopus' hoohah is, is actually where its mouth, or beak, is. Can you imagine your trying to get intimate with Ursula and you're trying to find her area, only to encounter this? (Obviously, since she's neither human nor octopus, her anatomy most likely won't be exactly like one or the other. But I find the idea of nearly getting my fingers bit off while trying to find the octo-V hilarious so I'm going with this)

- Speaking of the beak, since octopuses have no skeleton aside from the beak, they can fit through... Pretty much anything that their beak can fit through. There are plenty of videos on YouTube of octopuses squeezing through things they shouldn't. I know we saw Ursula's skeleton when Eric stabbed her, but can you imagine if your octo-wife just squeezed her entire body through one of the smallest openings in your home to come inside?

- Octopuses have been known to form a kind of symbiotic relationship with other fish; the fish helps them hunt, and in turn, they split the kill. However, some octopuses have been seen punching (Yes, punching) the fish they are supposed to be working with. Some researchers believe it might be because the fish crossed them before, it's to keep the fish in line, or simply because the octopus felt spiteful (they do have the brain capacity of a two-year-old, so they should theoretically be able to be spiteful like a child). Considering what kind if buisness Ursula runs, this checks out.

- Octopus can change not only their colors, but the texture of their skin to match their environment and blend in. Can you imagine visiting Ursula and at first you don't see her, and then it turns out she was camouflaged against the wall? (Could also be taken as funny, sweet, or spicy you want)

- And finally, octopuses have been seen changing their colors and textures while sleeping, implying that they dream (not confirmed, but still an implication). Imagine you're sleeping with Ursula, and you see her whole body shifting while she's snoozing. I wonder what she'd dream about?

And that's it for today. I hope you like these! ^^

Some of these are actually really really cute!! I see what you mean, that some of these can be cute or spicy XD Definitely XD I'm going with cute for now, because like--

Now I cant stop imagining the one where Ursula's busy but her tentacles at least 'still love you' (Not that Ursula doesn't, she's just preoccupied XD More like 'they have attention for you'. They're more then happy to take you for a while), wrapping around you and touching your face and making you giggle. They're allll affection. Rubbing your sides, swiping under your eyes, softly poking your cheeks, nudging your chin upwards, slithering up and down your fingers and around and around your arms, etc. They just cannot get enough of you!!

Uhhhh and I know I said we were gonna look at the cute stuff buttttt... Imagine Ursula waiting, camouflaged against a wall, for you to come in so she can ambush you. Her minds a wreck, she's so gone. Her tentacles going haywire, her movements quick and frenzied. She's been thinkin about you all day, sweetheart!! All she can think about is your sweet lips, your lovely fingers, your beautiful skin... picture her cornering you against a dark wall, her hair wafting in her face, a sharp smirk on her mouth!! She's begging you but she is in the position of power, she cant help it. Its in her dna!

Also I love the punching thing XDD I loved all these actually, thank you for sending them!! ^^

[setsunatekiblast]

sorry this is like fully just insane babble and a look into truly how fucking weird i am in the head im really considering making a blog JUST for venting but im too lazy to do that rn

so like general rundown for context

i did some really downright shitty things as a teenager as a result of unresolved trauma in basically every corner of my life at the time (obviously this doesnt absolve me from what happened). when i was told about the extent of it i apologised and distanced myself & never talked to anyone involved ever again.

months later when i expressed that a former friend who had (in my opinion, rightfully) stepped in to stop the situation from worsening had caused me harm prior to all this and that it was still impacting me on my private account, it was leaked to her. i was threatened with a callout post and she was acting like i wasnt truly sorry for the things i'd done/trying to change even though i had done my level best to be accountable for my behaviour and do what was asked of me.

because of everything that'd already happened + this i was living in this constant state of severe anxiety. as in, i could hardly eat due to feeling nauseous every moment i was conscious, would randomly start shaking and crying & my physical health was deteriorating at many points. i was like this from about july all the way through to november-early december, i think?

like all of this happened five years ago but ive absolutely refused to let myself move on because i thought i would be dodging accountability for my behaviour but i've kind of just had a mental shift recently (maybe from my kansai trip i think it did something to me). looking back while talking to my friend i internalised everything about that series of incidents so hard that i considered myself a horrible and irredeemable person, so ive been keeping myself at arms length from others because i didnt want it to happen all over again and didnt trust myself to actually change. i thought that if i was pursuing relationships with others, i wasnt being accountable enough and dodging my past behaviour.

idk im just tired of living like this. im tired of all the self-sabotage and the fear and anxiety i have over the most minor of things. i'm tired of jumping up and running at the first signs of closer friendships forming. i had a panic attack over someone calling me a friend for gods sake, that's not normal. its not! the fact i even struggle to call people friends because of all this fear about relationships with others after all that isn't good and i need to change from that lol

even just thinking that i deserve better makes me feel like im swallowing needles and glass though, and it sucks so fucking much LMFAOOOOOOO. i dont even know what to do because i feel so shitty about even trying to pursue support from those closest to me. i feel like i'm asking so, so much of people when i cant give much of anything in return. not to mention that right now even the idea of being misunderstood makes me feel absolutely terrible and like i need to be on the defensive. in general i feel like i offer so little that trying to lean on people is selfish and that i'm just going to end up hurting them like i did that friend who simply just wanted to help me. i don't want to feel this way anymore but it's a cycle and i don't know how to stop feeling so horrid about everything and actually. well. allow myself to feel supported AND be normal in the head about it

like i need to move on not just for my sake but because. really. it's been such a long time and i don't even recognise the person i was in those messages. but i can hear just how much pain my past self was in and that just sucks, man. my friend didn't want me to suffer, but he was rightfully hurt and angered by the way i behaved. the best way to show my remorse has always been to do better by those who come into my life, but i never wholly succeeded in that because 90% of the time i would sabotage my own relationships with others and not get too close out of fear that i was going to ruin it all and just be as shitty as i was before. i thought closing myself off would be doing right by him, and to a degree it was. but it wasn't productive for me because i wasn't doing anything but closing myself off

anyway i handled something pretty good tonight that i know my past self wouldve probably flipped out about so that's probably a good sign i guess. its actually kind of surprising to see that even though my spoons are maybe a 1 at best rn i can still handle things with some grace and tact and Not be terrible. idk. maybe things are gonna be okay, especially since i have so many people in my corner nowadays who want nothing more than to see me overcome everything

[moroser]

ill say, its kinda funny youve got 2 aus where Lilith just ends up taking care of a young Hunter cuz Wow You Really Like The Idea That Much (the "when all the characters you like follow a pattern" kind of funny.) but I am also obsessed cuz...the idea of Lilith with a child is fascinating, especially with Hunter. She's already so exhasperated with Eda's childish endeavors as it is, and she seems to not be..exactly good with children per se? (the times weve seen her interact with children at least.) And she also doesn't hold Hunter in high regards and so the idea of "What if Lilith raised him when he is but a small child?" is so entretaining and I think your Vampire AU explores it in a great way!! Like shes mildly annoyed at all times but its bc shes tired and hungry and stressed out and shes also in the position of basically raising him and she knows she should be gentler with him but she cant, and thats so very Lilith. Like such a very close to canon protayal of her.

Im sorry for making this very long, I was just rotating ur aus and ideas so I had to spill em out!!

ahhh!! please dont apologize i love talking about lilith and esp that vampire au lol. and it's actually a worry of mine that people think i don't understand lilith or am mischaracterizing her, simply because i happen to draw tender things!! (i say this because i don't see lilith as a very tender person, not naturally.)

thank you for saying that about my vampire au wheeze, cause i try very hard to use that au for that!! she's pretty rough with him because she's in this position where she's forced to care for something that is both a child and a predator to her. like he can literally kill her dead. but she was also a very solitary person prior to finding him and i really like thinking about her coming to the decision not to kill him and taking him under her wing. lilith is not heartless and we see that she has a conscience about others, particularly when she's not in competition for something. (when she was younger and shared pain with eda, when she hugs eda and tries to comfort her when she's crying about luz being so young and involved in all the chaos.) but she's not maternal, she's not naturally tender as an adult, she's not someone who's had to think about caring for another living thing, she thinks selfishly. she's someone who's had her focus on herself, hiding, feeding, keeping herself going all these years. and in the au, in hunters case, i kept him as an isolated character that hadn't experienced a caring guardian or parent and even though lilith is not very good at it, he doesn't know any better because of that and because he's so young. so it's almost like lilith has room for error and to build their relationship as she is because hunter just doesn't even know.

sometimes i think about the part where lilith shields luz from the stone sleeper. she throws her entire body over her, but it's all while saying ''eda is going to kill me, eda is going to kill me." this isn't to say she doesn't care about luz, but her drive to protect her is for her sister. she doesn't... like, she doesn't naturally have this instinct to be a guardian. WHEEZE, so it is the most fun and greatest of my past times to think about lilith parenting hunter in different aus. lol. I LOVE IT!!! i love her and i love him.

before i get going too long with this i'll just say thank you again and im so happy and glad that people like the aus so much. i have a human au i am really interested in sharing because it's just so cute. it's lilith with a BABY so it's very interesting to think about it all. im a little shy 'bout this one but we'll see how it goes.

i'm also going to use this ask to clarify that i don't just shove lilith and hunter together this way cause i like the idea. of course i LOVE the idea, but i do think about it as thoroughly as i'm able to, and because i love lilith (and hunter) so much, exploring her character in depth is something i just love doing. i think about her so much rip.