crispysongkid

[crispysongkid]

King laios, devourer of all things horrible

[crispysongkid]

This show is gold.

[crispysongkid]

I appreciate that the witch in Dead Boy Detectives wants to be a god but only of like, one town

she has realistic goals like Dr Doofinshmirtz whose ambitions were limited to the tri-state area.

[crispysongkid]

If supernatural can have 15 seasons then Dead boy dectives can have two. So watch. Rewatch tell your friends. Watch it through a thousand times. END THE CANCELLATION STREAK

[crispysongkid]

this one's for you, edwin paine

[crispysongkid]

Loved when Edwin was like "There's nothing we can do, every time I try to run it chases and kills me again" and then Charles goes "Well yeah but now you have me and this BOMB" and promptly chucks a lit molotov at the spider demon

[crispysongkid]

DEAD BOY DETECTIVES S1 + TUMBLR REACTIONS

[crispysongkid]

dead boy detectives. fun show.

[crispysongkid]

I am going to [remembers that jokes about suicide are detrimental to myself and others] Scarborough Fair.

[crispysongkid]

I draw porn but not any of that sick nasty perverted sicko misogynist fetish porn made by and for disgusting sicknasty pervert men my porn is so cute and wholesome and feminist and queer and liberated trust me it's not even porn it's erotica my erotica is a pure honest true expression of human passions and emotions and the pure chaste passions of feminist lesbian wombyns trust me you'll love it it's so liberating see for yourself *hands you a drawing of Snufkin sucking his own penis*

[crispysongkid]

[crispysongkid]

A group of far-future linguists and archeologists suddenly *poof* into existence in front of me. One is holding a tablet. "What is the difference between 'red sauce' and 'tomato sauce?'" they ask me. "The distinction is not clear in extant texts from this time and place."

"Uh, they're the same thing," I tell them. "Who are you?"

"Yes!" the being with the tablet exclaims.

One of the other researchers groans. "No! My thesis...months of writing wasted..." One of the others comforts them.

"Now, what is this object for?" The first researcher holds up a discolored, dinged-up plastic object. It's clearly been buried in the ground for quite some time, but the two holes and the scuffed plastic window are distinctive.

"That's a cassette tape. You record music with it."

"Interesting, interesting." The being enters something on the tablet.

"How are you speaking English?"

"Sophisticated translation technology," one of the researchers confides. "We are students of your society. From the future."

"What does this pictogram represent?" The researcher with the tablet turns it around so that the screen faces me.

It's the eggplant emoji.

"Sex," I say. "Why do you need to ask me this if you can time travel or whatever? Can't you just go wherever you want to go and look around and see how these things are being used?"

The beings shift guiltily and look at each other. "Technically, travel to times and places prior the advent of time travel is strictly prohibited. Paradoxes, you know."

"Oh."

"We must be get back before our advisor returns to the lab. Just don't tell anyone you saw us, alright? The space-time continuity depends on it. Can you do that?"

"Uh, sure, I guess?"

One of them pats me on the head. "And don't go to Mars."

"Okay. Wait, why? Is it dangerous?"

"No. Just not worth it."

The group disappears in a shimmering light.

The cassette clatters to the sidewalk behind them.

Out of befuddlement, mainly, I pick it up. It's clearly old, discolored and scuffed, but it still has tape in it.

I carry the tape around in my pocket for a while. The curiosity builds. I want to know what's on that tape. I don't have a cassette player anymore, so I go to Goodwill and pick up the first one I can find, praying that it still works. I plug it in. It turns on.

I slide the tape inside. It's dirty, but it still seems to be in decent shape. I snap the player closed and hit play. The wheels begin to turn. I hold my breath.

A familiar tune starts up. A wobbly voice comes out of the machine.

We're no strangers to love

[crispysongkid]

Can you teach me how to say goodbye?

For Hampus.

[crispysongkid]

*makes this noise at you*

[crispysongkid]

I'ma just leave these here for like... *Cough* Research purposes and such.

[crispysongkid]

Gosh I hate grind culture. My little sister just started medical school and all of her orientation leaders are like “you absolutely cannot have a life WHATsoever you WILL have to give up EVERYTHING besides this program say GOODBYE to your hobbies and relationships” and now she’s calling me feeling guilty for running and going to the grocery store and that’s just WRONG! And that is exactly what I was told starting law school as well, and rejecting that mentality was the best thing I ever did but it was so hard not to buy into. Anyway if any of you are in an intense academic program PLEASE take time to sleep and eat and exercise and maintain your relationships and keep up your hobbies! you are not a robot who exists solely to study and I promise that living a life and staying physically and mentally healthy is not going to make you fail

[crispysongkid]

“reasons to not kiss him: 1. you weren’t raised to love tender. 2. when he’s around all you do is tremble. when he’s around you want to get on your knees. look how much power he has over you. it’s dangerous. 3. he’s too good at forgiving and you’re too good at violence. 4. you know what they say about monsters. you know what happens to the boys who love them. are you going to do that to him? 5. your hands don’t know how to be gentle. think about the last beautiful thing that shattered in your palms. the fresh rosebuds crumbling between your fingers like a bruise. you wolf-boy, you war machine. you wouldn’t know how to hold something magic and not destroy it. 6. if you hurt him it might kill you 7. if you hurt him you might kill yourself. 8. you are very bad at rehabilitation. this is one addiction you’d fail to give up. he’s going to ruin you for all other kisses and all other boys and you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to forget his name. 9. you still aren’t sure he isn’t a dream. 10. if you kiss him, you might wake up. reasons to kiss him: 1. because he’s beautiful. 2. because he asked. 3. because he preceded please with, i’m not afraid of you.”

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yes & no // Natalie Wee

Find my book on Amazon / Goodreads.