#i cannot live like this with this person
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#keep getting hit with overwhelming nausea from how much i have to get out of here and get into a new place#i need to get out of this fucking house#i cannot live like this with this person#dad is burning bridges because he's annoyed at his family for being racist towards me among other things#as if that hasn't directly made everything fucking worse while i'm just trying to keep my head down and deal with it#i just keep getting hit with Wow i'm fucking stuck here with someone who wants my kind dead haha
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happy halloween! 🎃🐈⬛👻🐇
#i just wanted to draw emu as a jiangshi .#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#polysho#enjoy halloween everynyan unfortunately i have to go work a shift. i thought abt dressing up for fun when i get back#but 1 im lazy 2 i dont live alone and its my luck that somebody ends up knocking when im in the middle of being dressed like a clown#so i would rather not risk it. idk how people get into cosplay just for photoshoots/videos i dont have that conviction .#but halloween con was lots of fun and i got to see friends and trade candy so i enjoyed my celebration already. ^_^#also STOP BEATING THE SHITNOUT OF ME IDEK IF I CAN BOOO BACK FROM A SIDE BLOG. YOURE KILLUNG ME#once again some random guy will be hittimg you back. boo#to end my tags i am going to be pissed off because i cannot draw well rn and its KILLING MEEEEEE#im art blocked as hell and mad about it. my zines....#its so annoying like with my personal art its whatever but people spend Money on zines i need to get good.#its been like over a week so i thought inwould be free. sigh#i often draw emu fiending off of tsukasa. the way things should be. amen#also inthink rui would love to go all out for costumes but he got busy modding a tshirt launcher to shoot candy and forgot abt his costume#so hes a tuxedo cat. he thinks hes so funny
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What if when Michael got Distortioned he/they/it/(?) had just kept showing up to work? Imagine Gertrude comes into the archives and finds a bunch of paperwork filled out in yellow highlighter and folded into impossible shapes, and then Michael-Distortion just walks into the room door-style and sits down at his work computer so it can email Gertrude a phishing scam.
#the magnus archives#tma#michael distortion#the distortion#i think this would make everyone’s lives worse#the eye 🤝(<-phishing) the spiral#tricking someone into thinking you’re someone they can trust so that theyll give you info they can use against you?#that shits both eye and spiral coded af tbh#edit: for those who have said that they want a fic of this i would like to clarify that other people can do what they want with this idea#but i personally cannot write for shit#so i cannot provide a fic. unless you want it bland as hell and written in ieee format#sorry y’all. my skillsets are infodumping about spiders unprompted and eating chicken nugget
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In the shape of you, something new.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Better drawn mdzs#Yeah let's toss this in the 'mixed' category. Keeping you all on your toes with the quality of my work in this series.#I had to fire off some expectation-lowering shots to rebuild my energy.#I enjoy opportunities to experiment with formatting and challenge myself B*) I really like how this came out!#In this case; I have been thinking about this comic for nearly a year! The reunion scene!#The start of the festering! The longing LWJ feels contrasted against the reality that WWX has been fundamentally changed.#This is the shape of someone you knew. This is no longer the person you had in your head. Maybe that person never existed.#We build up expectations of who we want people to be - but they are never *who* that person is.#Loving the JC & LWJ parallels with this concept as well; they are both self-inflicted victims of pushing their expectations on WWX.#But we are who we are. We cannot become the idealized version of ourselves that lives in another person's head.#And I love how WWX comes back a little (a lot) horrifying. In his actions and appearance - he has changed. Maybe for the worst.
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage...#...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them...#...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent...#...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us...#...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long...#...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL#the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate#be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough#recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage'#i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself#and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was#i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want#don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please#and just... give yourself space
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#words cannot express my reaction to seeing Clark in this nonsensical comic. Truly I was like Clark lives forever -> Bruce can now clone#himself#batman#dc comics#bruce wayne#personal#superbat#to me#idc#guys#superman#clark kent#last knight on earth
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continued rook-lucanis sketches from the last week or so <3
#if it looks like i only draw lucanis its untrue. im actually cutting out a lot of rook backstory specific doodles. ..#<- guy who can only draw either her rook or lucanis rn#the other companions i will get to you. neve especially lord in heaven#lucanis dellamorte#rookanis#rook#tyche laidir#spite#my art#dragon age#dav spoilers#anyways anyone else really think that rialto bay is just so romantic with how it bridges antiva and rivain i personally cant stop thinking!#i need to have this game i need to understand what becomes of rook and him. a woman who loves the sea so dearly that lucanis suddenly#cannot bear to take her away from it. lucanis who could not imagine his life outside the crows and how could she ask he leave illario behin#two people so obsessed with their job and their lives that even their endearments relate to it#two people who love their birthrights. which one of them is supposed to be able to give that up?#desperately need something bittersweet AND BEFORE I JINX IT I DONT MEAN IN A TRAITOR WAY.#there is a reason i named their playlist pregrieving
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I don't usually post my sketches but I really like how this one turned out.
What's the point of angst without some good aftermath healing?
#reprogrammed au#wk reprogrammed au#wild kratts#chris kratt#martin kratt#littlecrittereli#wild kratts fanart#I guess spoilers for the fic but not rlly?#I am projecting chronic nightmares from PTSD onto Chris fr#but it's okay cause Martin is here :)#Small headcanon they have actual rooms in the Tortuga#u cannot convince me they actually just sleep in hammocks every night#they probably share a room too to save space bc it is like a giant turtle and they got shit to do so#POV you're a very tidy person being forced to share a small living space with your messy as hell brother#but thats a story for another day
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"homura is an evil abuser who wants to control madoka and hates their friends" tired trope, canonically untrue, congrats on falling for the facade put up by a middle schooler.
"homura sees herself as inherently evil and abusive due to her upbringing, past actions, and status as a witch, which is still ongoing even at the end of rebellion" fresh, new, actually closer to canon, doesn't demonize a child for being mentally ill.
#pmmm#madoka magica#do you understand. do you see my vision#it is VERY VERY COMMON for people (esp kids) to see themselves as edgy and evil when they're 'normal' over minor things#eg kids who listen to metal and think they Cannot Be Understood.....#let alone literal child who has spent almost 1/2 her life in a time loop watching her friends die a dozen times#even nowadays due to Trauma Stuff and mental illness i deal w being like#'wow im an awful evil person for [minor offense] [intrusive thought] etc'#im not even a 14yo raised orphan catholic who lived over a decade in a loop failing to save my friends#and!! EVERYONE ignores that homucifer IS A WITCH.#witches canonically CANNOT CONTROL THEIR ACTIONS (oktavia attacking her friends etc etc etc)#even if she's 'not entirely a witch' or one w more control she's still canonically influenced by her despair and misery at the end of it#see: her familiars running around her soul gem 'whispering' to her etc#'homura is an evil abuser w no good qualities' posts (esp in 2024??) drive me up the wall ffs#sambling#top hits
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sometimes i want to reach through the screen and shake sabo by the shoulders because. god. there's just so much going on with him.
he's first introduced through the veil of luffy's memories- here he's just another feral jungle kid, sticking it out with ace and luffy, the 'nicer' brother in young luffy's eyes. and then boom. you find out he's a runaway noble trying to escape his abusive, neglectful family- and this changes nothing, they still get to become sworn brothers, but just as quickly as this is resolved, his asshole of a dad takes the three of them hostage. and what does sabo do? he gives up the little sliver of freedom he'd fought for, is willing to become miserable and lonely again if it means ace and luffy are spared. and then he comes home to find that in his absence, his parents have already found a replacement! great!
and he doesn't even get to address how fucked up that is, because stelly runs his mouth and now sabo's too busy trying to figure out how to stop his brothers and their home from getting burnt to the ground. he never gets to give them a proper goodbye- he exhausts himself trying to reach them, but he can't because. you know. he's ten. so where does this leave sabo? ten years old, with nowhere to go- he sets out to sea to try and start over, and for the crime of wanting to escape a terrible life, he's punished with an explosion to the face. he loses his memories, his brothers lose him- and so the cycle continues.
then the army saves him, takes him in; he's essentially a child soldier, with how prodigious of a fighter he is from the get-go. but hey, he thinks he's finally found his footing, even if his past's a blur to him- then it all comes flooding back. in the worst way possible. he sees his brother's corpse and he remembers, but it doesn't matter, does it? he's too late, ace is gone, and sabo's lost ten years of a life he could have shared with his brothers. we don't even know how (if, even) he recovers from this- except for a single passing statement from koala, asking him if he's 'had that dream again' because he'd been crying in his sleep. this is never brought up or addressed again. great!plus, we never do find out if getting blown up at the ripe old age of ten could have left any lasting fire-related trauma; and if it does, what does that mean for sabo, who's pretty much made of it, now?
both of these questions are answered at once- sabo treats the fire as if it's ace. it's ace's legacy he's carrying on, and it's ace he seeks freedom for. he copes by making sure ace lives on in his flames, and how can he ever hate the fire living in him if that fire is all he has left of the brother he never got to see again?
i just have to wonder about him, because he's got so many Issues that just. don't ever get addressed? every time we see him deal with his grief (episode of sabo, his own retelling of events in dressrosa) we never really discover anything about him. i wonder how it felt to finally remember the childhood that eluded him, just to find out he was an unwanted, replacable child. how he feels, living with the knowledge that he could have done something to save ace, that he'd failed to remember the two people he loved the most? i wonder just how terribly that guilt must weigh down on him- because where luffy's already begun to heal, sabo still sees ace in everything he does. his title of flame emperor is a direct callback to ace's final attack in his fight against blackbeard. he talks to his goddamn fire like his brother is still in front of him, which is sweet and heartbreaking and, considering his backlog of unaddressed trauma... incredibly unhealthy. i know these will probably be left unresolved for the sake of moving the story forward- but god, sabo, are you okay?
#one piece#sabo#asl brothers#portgas d ace#revolutionary sabo#i cannot stop thinking about him#his grief is so. silent#blink and you'll miss it#i wonder if he'll ever be able to reconcile the person he is with the person he never got to be#or if he's just. going to brush it off because Everything Is Fine Obviously#i know he's explicitly stated that he won't live in grief because ace wouldn't want him to#but coming to that conclusion when he's probably had no time to heal#just looks a lot like him holding his fraying edges together with duct tape#my poor sabo#my princess ....#anywayyyy this is just me rambling pls dont mind
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with how life has been going this year, i’m contemplating suicide more than ever before
#actually bpd#bpd problems#bpd vent#actually borderline#actually mentally ill#bpd fp#bpd#bpd shitposting#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#my entire life is going to absolute shambles and i feel like a fish flopping out of water.. nothing has gone well this year for me#everything has gotten significantly worse.. to the point of feeling like there’s no uphill this time#i’ve become so numb to life at this point that if one more bad thing happens i’m calling it quits#i’m tired of living like this#i CANT live like this#i physically cannot take any more this year
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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anti-abortionists and pro choicers like me can agree on one thing: whoever creates the life can destroy the life. only the former have the male-self-insert god character who metaphysically acts as the one "knitting" the fetus in the womb, while those who observe the world as-is without invoking yahwhist lore rightfully attribute that ability to the woman.
#as with all things some clarifications#i and other pro-choicers do not personally believe that mothers have an unconditional right like the god in the abrahamic religions to kill#anti abortionists are not as extreme in this belief#we maintain that a woman deserves full unconditional sovereignty of her body and matters concerning it#she is the one to dictate what grows and lives within herself#for only then does the female individual completely own herself#the state should have no claim on her or she is not an autonomous individual or “complete” individual within the state#right to autonomy is the precipice for right to life#autonomy is fundamental to the idea of “rights” in the first place#right to life is secondary because it is meaningfully dependent on right to autonomy#you cannot defend the fetus' right to life if “defense” is not already a universal right of an individual#radblr#reproductive rights#radical feminism#abortion#pro abortion#anti abortion
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In watching more interviews with Liv about Van and the escalation of Van's pragmatism to such dark degrees, I find myself genuinely baffled that anyone could ever think Van the bad guy. I mean, I'm perplexed at finding ANY of these girls The Bad Guy. The bad guy is the situation. It's being lost. It's freezing. It's starving. It's being scraped down to the barest bone of being alive. They make choices that might be snippy, or cruel, or hard-headed, sure--Shauna refusing to just hash it out with Jackie; Jackie being too stubborn to come inside; Taissa refusing to discuss her situation plainly; etc--but by the time we reach the end of season 2, it doesn't even matter. Petty bullshit doesn't matter. Jealousy doesn't matter. Those things are still going to be present and complicated, because--for all their choices, for all the distancing they're trying to do--these kids ARE still human beings. But it isn't the point.
The point is survival. Plain, simple, straightforward. Van's pragmatism is survival. It is the difference between living another day with blood on your teeth or dying pretty. It is the difference between fighting forward through the fire and the snow and the hell of it all, and laying down to die. Van knowing, in watching the ritual violence of Shauna beating Lottie nearly the death, that they will be killing and eating one another soon. Van coming up with the cards for the hunt. Van not blinking when the moment comes, Van choosing a weapon that doubles as a tool to bring the body back, Van refusing to apologize for staying alive--it's not evil. It's not Bad Guy behavior. It's purely about survival, because there is nothing else left to her--or to any of them. They can play the pretty little Sweet Angel Girl game and die, or they can get dirty, bloody, horrific and fight. Van chooses the fight. Van chooses to fight for herself, for her lover, for her team, even knowing not everyone is going to make it out...because the alternate path there is that no one makes it out. Van knew the baby wouldn't live. Van knows the rest of them won't, either. Not unless they start making the hard choices.
And, honestly, the fact that Van sees this narrative coming. Comes up with this plan. Brings out the cards. To me, that is the opposite of Bad Behavior. That is as close to justice as anyone can find in the wilderness. If someone else came up with an idea, maybe it would have come down to voting--but that would have had such a human element to it, with bitterness or hostility or whatever ultimately petty shit always comes of humans selecting who to Other. The cards don't leave room for that. It isn't fair, because the situation isn't fair, because Man vs. Nature isn't fair, but it's as close to a just system as they could possibly find. It's the kindest solution to an unwinnable game. Not to bring it back to American Gods again, but all I can think is "it's easy, there's a trick to it: you do it, or you die." Van gave them that.
#yellowjackets#yj meta#van palmer#i simply cannot ever accept people blindly hating ANY of the girls for their actions at the end of S2#because by that point it's not about personality flaws or errors of judgement or teenage bullshit#it's survival. it's literally do or die.#be mad at the stuff they did the first few weeks out there. THAT was in their control.#but by the end of S2 it's 'do i want to live? cool. then this is the next step. there IS nothing else. we are eating belts.'#every once in a while on instagram or somewhere i see a hot take like 'oh this whole thing is THIS girl's fault'#and it's like no no. no--apart from misty busting the black box--NOTHING these girls do will change the fact of their situation#they might make it worse or make it more palatable but in the end#it's the purity of man vs. nature as a story#and any of them getting darker. more logical. more pragmatic. just means they're putting another day breathing first.#the human element of it comes in with the faith and the ritual and the acceptance of violence--but the violence was coming either way#'this place cannot be argued with. and that is how we survive: by giving into that.' exactly. liv hewson you genius. exactly.
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Hi (if you are okay with writing this)
What about a hero (who’s a trans man) captured by the villain and the villain finds his top surgery scars and is surprised of the fact but not judgy or disgusted like the hero thought they’d be
Love ❤️ your writing,thanks
i hope you enjoy - thank you for the request!
“We don’t want to ruin this lovely suit the agency put together for you,” the villain purrs as they run a hand over the seams of the hero’s shirt. “Let’s get you into something more comfortable, hm?”
“Oh, uh, no,” the hero refutes weakly, “you can ruin it.”
The villain looks entirely unimpressed. “We have to wear unflattering uniforms when you catch villains. It’s only fair you do the same.”
“No, no, [Villain],” the hero tries, which the villain is pointedly ignoring in favour of moving too close, with too much purpose, “you don’t get it, I can’t—”
The hero’s protests are in vain. The villain’s hands are already on the hem of his shirt, and with a hefty pull they yank it directly over the hero’s head.
The hero can feel their stare burning into his chest. He directs his eyes to the ground to avoid seeing whatever disgust is inevitably on the villain’s face. Then, after a moment that’s painfully long, the villain says, “what kind of fight did you get in?”
The hero accidentally glances up at them in surprise. It’s not disgust on their face—it’s confusion. Not a look that the hero is unfamiliar with; the disgust will come once he explains.
“Fought a doctor and lost,” he says with a short laugh. “They’re, uh… it’s from top surgery.”
The villain’s face is blank. “Huh.”
Here comes the disgust. The hero sucks in a deep breath, crossing his arms over his chest without thinking. “Do you have something I’m meant to be putting on?”
“Oh, yeah, ‘course.” The villain grabs a shirt and throws it at the hero, waiting patiently while he hurriedly puts it on. “So you’re, y’know…”
“Trans,” the hero finishes awkwardly. “Yeah.”
“Cool.” The villain turns to gesture to a door across the room. “Alright, through there, please. Let’s get this torturing on the road.”
The hero’s the one that’s staring blankly this time. “What?”
“What did you think you’re here for?” The villain’s scoffs. “I’ve caught you, and now I’m going to torture you about it.”
“No, I get that, I just, uh…” The hero glances around the room idly, like something will give him the confidence he direly needs for this interaction. He waves his hands vaguely at his chest. “Don’t you, like, have anything to say?”
The villain’s face contorts into a confused frown. “… I accept you?”
“I thought you’d be more…” The hero grapples for an appropriate word. “Judgy.”
“I’m a villain, [Hero], not an asshole,” the villain says with a tired sigh. “Being a guy or not doesn’t change the fact that you’re a hero and I hate you. If anyone does have a problem with it, though, send them my way. Always fancied myself a bit of an anti-hero.”
The hero can’t help the relieved smile pulling at his lips. “I’ll make sure to do that.”
“Thanks.” The villain waves impatiently at the door again. “Now, are we doing this or not?”
The hero nods plainly, some of his usual heroic confidence back. “Only If you don’t mind me breaking out in a few days.”
“Ugh, if you have to.”
But the villain smiles, the friendly kind, and the hero decides that maybe his nemesis could be his ally too.
#creative writing#writblr#writing#writers on tumblr#writing community#heroes and villains#hero x villain#request#is that last line cheesy?? yea lmao. do i care?? i didnt have a better way to end it so i cannot#i remember when i was but a wee queer lad myself#and reading things like this and thinking 'woaw........ accpetance is so sweet..............'#stories like this really do help people!!! i hope i did it justice#cause even as a trans person ive never dipped into this side of things. idk why#never too late tho!! never to late to try something new whether its writing or reading it or doin somethin different with yourself#i hope youre living your best life my guy. i remember needing these stories too
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Retired happy Junmei for no reason at all except let them be happy post-canon that's all.
#junmei#jun wu#mei nianqing#mxtx tgcf#tian guan ci fu#tgcf#shoutout to the sj server for one person (u know who u r) suggesting mnq has one (1) black strand holding on for dear life#and they're right cause that's incredibly funny#i just imagine this dude has had so much stress in his 2k+ years life that he could not keep his hair NOT white#Running away and stressing about JW probably did a good job on him as well living thru JW growing up#And then Xie Lian??? Final nail in the coffin#you cannot tell me this sassy child/teen did not absolutely cause him to develop more grey/white hairs#and at some point he figured he might as well stop fighting it#but that's my silly hc and you don't have to agree lmao#just noticed now JW and MNQ have like swapped hair color patterns nice#anyway I have more junmei wips but it's on a giant stash of Shit To Render sooooo it may be a while#wanted to finish this and another piece for junmeiweek but alas we're REALLY late
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