#i cannot for the life of me wait to be out of here

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

I'm Disabled.

Before applying for the federal program SSDI, we married. This was to prevent losing the life-saving insurance I needed. At that point, I was still on my parents' insurance, but would soon age out of being able to use it.

After we married, I applied for SSDI, which takes about two years. Everyone is denied by default, so I was prepared with an SSDI lawyer (they only take the case if they know they can win, and their payment is a very small portion of your backpay; my lawyer was paid just 15% of my backpay)backpack. When the rejection letter arrived, I immediately went to her for help.

I inquired about the state program SSI. She told me I didn't qualify because I'm married. I applied anyway, because I ad nothing to lose. Here's what the person at the SSI office told me I would have to do before I could apply:

I need to divorce my husband.

I need to live alone. We could not be living together because this would be seen as us basically being married.

I need to have less than $2k to my name at all times.

I cannot work.

I cannot live with my parents because their income would count against me.

I cannot own expensive things that could be sold for money.

If I was approved, I would have to continue following these rules with a few additions.

I cannot receive gifts of money.

I must have a bank account, and they would monitor it to make sure I never went even a single cent over $2000.

I cannot have a savings account.

I cannot have a safety deposit box.

I would have to continue living alone.

They can stop by my home at anytime to inspect how I'm living. They could talk to my neighbors to see if I had anyone who visited and helped me as more than just a friend. This means I could not have my former husband turned boyfriend stay overnight, and he cannot be perceived as taking care of me.

I cannot have anyone help me financially. This means no one else can pay my bills. If I cannot afford those bills on my own, I would have to apply for programs that would. Most of those have long waiting lists, like section 8 housing (we had applied for section 8 housing in 2008, and three years ago I received an email telling me we qualified. They had only the information we gave them in 2008, and have since moved across the country).

My SSDI, if approved, would count against me financially.

The most money I would receive from SSI, if I did everything they demanded and was approved, was $618/month.

This is enforced poverty. It's also the onky way may of those Disabled would be able to receive the medical care that keeps them alive, like Medicaid. My seizure medication used to cost nearly $2k/month. My neurologist gave me free samples of it every month and helped me apply for free medication through the manufacturer's financial aid program (you should too if you can't afford your medication). I was receiving medical care through the hospital's financial aid program when I married and lost my parents' insurance coverage.

I refused to do as SSI demanded. My SSDI lawyer was, in fact, relieved when I told her I'm married. Why? Because marrying afterwards would have caused serious and life-threatening complications. She encourages everyone who applies for SSDI to marry if it's possible a ble for them to do so. Because of her, I was approved for other programs, things I didn't even know existed, but for two years, it was Hell-on-Earth. I couldn't work because it would count against me. At that time, rent was $650, but my husband was making federal minimum wage, worked full time, and his employer kept changing his schedule, which made it impossible to apply for a second job.

I know many who are on SSI and need it in order to remain alive. One of my friends nearly fell out if the program because a nosy neighbor saw her and her boyfriend cuddling in her couch watching a movie. They assumed he was secretly living with her. Said neighbor was frequently seen just outside my friend's windows, watching her. When she met my lawyer after getting the automatic SSDI rejection, she married, got into the programs I had been in, and filed a restraining order against her neighbor because my lawyer absolutely insisted on it. The bitch violated the terms three times and was put in prison for six months. She's now on SSDI, married, and much happier.

Marriage equality does not exist until the Disabled can marry without losing everything.

[criticallyinneedofadar]

Beside You

A little Gil Galad for you all today! I'm working on the next part Across Time as well!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stand at the foot of your bed, arms crossed, watching as Gil-galad, your husband, collects his armor and prepares to leave. His movements are methodical, almost mechanical, as if this is simply another duty to be done, another battle to face. But for you, this is more than just a matter of duty. This is your husband preparing to ride off to war, to leave you behind with nothing but promises and fears.

"Ereinion, wait," you say, your voice tight, struggling to remain composed. "This is too dangerous. To march on Eregion now—this is madness. You cannot go."

He pauses, just for a moment, his gaze flickering to you before returning to the task at hand. His jaw clenches, a brief flash of irritation in his eyes, but he doesn't answer right away. You know him too well—he has already made up his mind. The decision, for him, is already made.

"I must," he finally says, his voice even, but there is an underlying edge that catches you off guard. "I am the king of the Noldor. My people need me."

"Your people need you here, with me," you reply, your heart pounding in your chest. "We need you here, safe. Your duty is to protect them, but for that you have your armies and generals- not yourself!"

Gil-galad looks at you, and his expression softens briefly, but then he shakes his head, as if trying to shake off the weight of the conversation. "You knew what my duty was when we married," he says quietly. "A king cannot hide behind his walls while his people suffer. A king’s place is with his people. My place is on the front lines."

Your chest tightens, frustration bubbling to the surface. "And what will we do while you're off risking your life? Mend the curtains and sit pining by the window? You cannot be so blinded by your duty that you leave me behind like some- some helpless child! What if something happens to you? At the very least let me accompany you-"

"Enough!" Gil-galad interrupts, his voice a commanding force. He straightens, turning to face you fully, his brow furrowed in something between concern and annoyance. "You will cease this insufferable arguing. I am your husband and your king- my decision is final."

The words strike you like a slap. Your king. There it is again—the reminder that you are his subject, not his equal. Your blood runs cold, and the frustration in your chest flares into full-blown fury.

You feel something break within you. It’s not just the sharpness of his words; it’s the way he stands there, resolute, as if his decision is final, as if your feelings—your fears—mean nothing in the face of his kingly duty.

"So be it," you say, your voice suddenly icy, cold as the depths of the sea. "As you wish, my king."

The words are laced with sarcasm, each one sharp as a dagger. You don’t wait for his reply. Turning on your heel, you storm out of the bedroom, the sound of your boots on the stone floor echoing through the empty halls. Behind you, you can hear him calling your name, but you don’t stop. Not this time.

The door to the hallway slams behind you, and the silence that follows feels like the final nail in the coffin of your argument. You didn’t want this. You didn’t want to feel this distant, this small. But you can’t help it. You need space. You need to breathe.

And for the first time in a long time, the weight of being his wife feels unbearable.

You find yourself in the garden, the place where your heart once swelled with joy and warmth, the place where you first fell in love with Ereinion. It feels different now, though, quieter, colder somehow. The flowers are still vibrant, their colors a burst of life in the autumn chill, but their beauty does nothing to ease the ache in your chest.

You sit on the stone bench, the moss cool beneath your fingertips, and you stare at the fountain before you. The sound of the water is soothing, but it does little to drown out the thoughts tumbling through your mind. You were certain Ereinion would come. It’s not like him to leave things unresolved between you. He would speak softly, as he always did, his voice warm and apologetic, the same way he had when the two of you disagreed before. But this time feels different. This time, it feels like the distance between you is growing, like the space between his heart and yours is widening beyond repair.

As you sit there, lost in the quiet peace of the garden, memories flood your mind—the first time you walked here together, the first time he kissed you under the boughs of the great oak tree, the way his eyes had softened with love and admiration. This had been the place where you felt most at home with him, the place where you could see the future together, side by side, your lives intertwined.

But now, there is no future, only the present, and the sting of his departure.

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. He will come, you tell yourself. He’s just giving you time to cool down. He will wish to apologize. It’s not like him to hold on to anger. You wait.

Minutes pass. An hour. Still nothing.

The sound of distant horns reaches your ears, and your heart skips a beat. The familiar call of the Noldorin horns—the same horns that have announced Ereinion’s victories, his triumphs, his rule. But this time, the sound is different. It’s sharp, urgent, a signal of departure. Your stomach tightens.

You stand quickly, the cold air biting at your skin, and look toward the city gates. There, in the distance, you see the silhouettes of mounted riders. You can feel your pulse quicken as realization settles in.

He is leaving. Without you. Without a word. Without a single look back.

Your breath catches in your throat as your heart breaks all over again. The garden, once a place of shared joy, now feels like a prison, the walls closing in around you. How could he do this? How could he leave for Eregion, to ride to battle, to risk everything—including his life—without so much as a goodbye?

You walk toward the edge of the garden, your legs trembling with a mixture of rage and disbelief. You want to call out to him, to shout, to demand an answer. You want him to turn around, to stop, to come back. But your voice is caught in your throat, and all you can do is watch as the king of the Noldor, your husband, rides away toward war.

The gates loom before you, the sound of the horns growing louder, more insistent. Every step feels like an eternity, and yet you remain rooted to the spot, unable to move, unable to breathe. You don’t understand. How could he leave like this? How could he leave you behind so coldly, so abruptly?

The sight of his figure—his back to you, his head held high—only makes the pain in your chest worse. It’s not just the war he’s riding to; it’s the war between you two, the widening gulf of silence between your hearts.

You turn away, unable to watch any longer, unable to stay in the place where love once flourished. But in your heart, a whisper lingers: This is not the end. This cannot be the end.

The silence in your chambers is deafening as you stand before the mirror, your fingers running over the fabric of your gown. The anger you felt earlier has settled into something darker, something more resolute. The words he left you with echo in your mind—his command that you obey him, as his queen, as his subject. You can still feel the sting of it, the way he treated you like one of his soldiers, to be ordered and commanded. But no more.

You won’t sit idly by while the distance between you grows, while he rides off to risk his life in a war that feels so distant from the love you once shared. You won’t be relegated to the sidelines of his life, merely the queen to be left behind.

Your hand tightens into a fist, and a fire burns in your chest, filling you with resolve. I will not let this be the end, you think. I will not let him slip away from me so easily.

You turn swiftly, crossing the room to your advisors’ waiting presence. The doors open with a creak as you step into the hall, their startled faces awaiting you.

“My queen,” one of them stammers, his expression a mix of concern and confusion, “is there something we can do for you?”

You don’t waste time with pleasantries. “I will be accompanying the battalion to Eriador.”

The words drop like stones into the room, and the silence that follows is heavy. Your advisors exchange quick, frantic glances, unsure whether they’ve heard you correctly.

“You wish to… ride with the soldiers?” another asks, his voice thick with disbelief.

“I will ride with the soldiers,” you correct, your voice steady, unwavering. “There is something I must remind him of before he throws that pig headed brain of his into battle.”

The advisors are flustered, caught off guard by your harsh judgement of the king. One steps forward, looking at you with a mix of hesitation and concern. “My queen, surely this is not the time for you to be—”

“I have made my decision,” you cut him off, your tone final. “Prepare my things.”

As they scramble to gather your belongings, you move with purpose, gathering the essentials you need. You feel their eyes on you, but you don’t falter. This is not a decision you’ll regret. No, this is the beginning of something you’ve needed to do for far too long—reclaim your place at Ereinion’s side, no matter how far he tries to distance himself from you.

The day passes quickly as you mount your white mare, the familiar weight of the saddle beneath you grounding you in your decision. The battalion is still some distance ahead, but you ride fast, not caring about the time or the consequences. You need to catch up with him, you need to remind him that you are his queen—and his wife.

The sun dips below the horizon, leaving a cool mist in the air, as you finally make it to the battalion's camp. The soldiers are already setting up for the night, their fires flickering in the growing darkness. The camp is bustling with activity, but it all comes to a halt when your mare’s hooves strike the earth, the sound of your arrival piercing the air.

A soldier, noticing your approach, stops in his tracks. Recognition flashes across his face, and before you can even dismount, he rushes toward you. His steps quicken, and his expression morphs into one of concern.

“My queen,” he says breathlessly, bowing low before you. “What brings you here? Is something wrong? The king…” He hesitates, glancing back toward the far end of the camp where the king’s tent is pitched.

You pause, your gaze steady, and give him a small, composed smile, though it’s edged with a hint of something sharper, more urgent. “The king left something at home,” you say, your voice calm but with an unspoken weight. “And it is of great importance that I deliver it to him.”

The soldier’s brows furrow, and he hesitates for just a moment, but seeing your resolve, he nods. “Of course, my queen. Please, follow me. The king will be glad to see you.”

He leads you through the camp, the sounds of soldiers murmuring and the crackling of the fires echoing around you, but all you can focus on is the path ahead. Your heart beats in your chest, each step bringing you closer to him. The distance between you has already stretched too far, and now, in this moment, you’re closing that gap—you will not let him go without a fight.

As you approach the tent, the soldier opens the flaps for you, allowing you to step inside.

And there, seated at the table in the dim light of a lantern, is Ereinion Gil-galad. His back is to you, and for a moment, you simply watch him, his silhouette framed by the soft glow of the firelight. He doesn’t hear you enter at first, but then, as if sensing your presence, he turns, and his eyes lock with yours.

You don’t speak at first, simply meeting his gaze, holding it, as if trying to gauge his reaction, his thoughts.

It’s him. Your husband. The man who has held your heart, the man who you refused to let go, no matter how far he pushed.

And now, you will remind him that he is not alone in this.

The flap of the tent rustles gently as you step inside, your eyes never leaving Ereinion as you close the distance between you. He rises from his seat immediately, a flicker of surprise crossing his features, but it quickly hardens into something unreadable as he meets your gaze. For a long moment, neither of you speaks. The crackling of the fire behind him is the only sound, the warmth from it flickering across the shadows of his face.

You stand before him, your heart pounding in your chest, and the words you’ve rehearsed feel like foreign syllables on your tongue. It’s not just the anger, the frustration, that you need to voice—but something deeper, something you’ve been holding inside for far too long.

“You left something at home,” you finally say, your voice steady but laced with the weight of everything unsaid between you.

His brow furrows, confusion crossing his expression. “What do you mean?” He glances around the tent, as though expecting something physical, something tangible. “I have everything I need.”

You take a deep breath, letting the silence stretch between you. It’s not just an object or a letter you’ve come to bring him; it’s something far more vital. You hold his gaze, locking eyes with him, and the truth spills from you.

“Your wife,” you answer simply, your tone laced with quiet intensity.

Ereinion’s expression shifts, a flicker of guilt quickly masked by his usual composure. He’s clearly taken aback by your declaration, but there’s no room for misinterpretation. You’ve made your point.

For a moment, there’s only silence again. Ereinion remains still, as though trying to decide what to say, what to do next. His features soften, but his voice remains firm. “I did not want to drag you into this, my love. I thought it would be safer for you at home, away from the dangers that lie ahead. The fight in Eregion will be long and perilous, I would not place you in the way of the sword.”

You shake your head, the swell of emotions rising inside you, sharper than ever. You step closer to him, closing the space between you until your words are only for him to hear.

“I understand your reasoning,” you say quietly, your voice steady but laced with the rawness of your vulnerability. “I understand that you must join the fight for Eregion. But I was afraid, Ereinion. Afraid that I would lose you, and you wouldn’t even listen to my fears. But it’s not just about fear. It’s about us.”

He watches you, his eyes searching yours, waiting for you to continue.

“You are not alone in this fight,” you continue, your voice more insistent now. “We are bound together, Ereinion. You cannot carry the weight of this war alone, nor should you. I know you are a king, and I respect that. But you are my husband, and that bond is not just some fleeting promise. We share everything, you and I—the joys, the hurts, the fears. We must face all of it together. This war, these dangers… they will not tear us apart. They cannot.”

Your voice cracks with the weight of what you’re about to say, but you push through. “If you fight in Eregion, then I will fight beside you. Not because I want to, but because I must. That is my place, Ereinion. At your side.”

Ereinion is silent for a moment, his eyes never leaving you. His gaze softens as if the realization of your words is beginning to settle deep within him. He steps closer, his gaze dropping briefly before lifting again to meet yours. There is a storm of emotions behind his eyes—guilt, love, regret—and something else, something he had not expected.

“Eregion is close to falling—” he starts, his voice thick with hesitation, as though weighing the consequences of what you’re offering.

“I know the risks,” you interject, your voice gentle but firm. “I know the dangers, and yes, I am afraid. But this is our battle now, Ereinion. You are not the king alone. You are the king, yes, but you are also my husband. I cannot, in good conscience, stay behind when I know I can stand beside you. We are stronger together. We always have been.”

For a long moment, he doesn’t speak, his features caught in something between awe and disbelief. Slowly, he closes the space between you, his hands reaching for yours with a tenderness that makes your heart ache.

“I never wanted to pull you into this, to make you part of this war,” he says softly, his voice rough, filled with emotion. “But I see now that you are already part of it, as you always have been. I don’t want to lose you—not to the war, not to anything. But I cannot turn you away.”

You place your hand against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm, as if reminding yourself that he is here, with you. Together. 

“I’m not asking for permission, Ereinion,” you whisper, a wry smile tugging at the corners of your lips despite the heaviness in your heart. “I’m telling you. This is my place. By your side.”

His hands move to your face, cupping your cheeks as he leans in, his forehead resting gently against yours. There is no more distance between you—not in this moment, not in this space. His voice is soft, filled with the weight of all that’s been left unsaid.

“You are my strength,” he murmurs, the words a quiet promise in the stillness of the night. “If you are truly willing to fight, then I will not ask you to stay behind. We will face this war as we have always faced life—together.”

A deep sense of relief washes over you as you close your eyes, leaning into the warmth of his embrace. The battle ahead will be long, and it will test both of you in ways you cannot yet understand. But one thing is certain: you will face it as one. Together, as it was always meant to be.

[nyaskitten]

Dragons Rising Episodes, But Only the Most Iconic Quotes

Episode 1: "The Merge, Part 1"; "I think that mask belongs to me!" (Or Ras' "You failed me... I do not like that.)

Episode 2: "The Merge, Part 2"; "Soon, Imperium will have enough Dragon Power to rule over all the Merged Realms!

Episode 3: "Crossroads Carnival"; "In first place is… Chef Grab-Barg! Congratulations!"

Episode 4: "Beyond Madness"; "Kai, you're still alive!" "I made a terrible mistaaaake!" "You brought the dragons right to us? I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

Episode 5: "Writers of Destiny"; "Is that Euphrasia?" "She's abandoned her scrolls. This is not our way, what is she doing!?" "She's saving us."

Episode 6: "Return to Imperium"; "I hate fireproof monsters!"

Episode 7: "Mindless Beasts"; "I love studying at school!" "But protecting innocents is also cool!" "Sound off!" "One, two!" "Sound off!" "

Episode 8: "I Will Be the Danger"; "Fa-mi-ly... family!"

Episode 9: "The Calm Inside"; "In life, there will be times of chaos, when everything around you is a raging storm. When there is no calm outside of you, you must find the calm inside of you."

Episode 10: "The Battle of the Second Monastery"'; "Do not free me."

Episode 11: "The Temple of the Dragon Cores"; "Nope, you've upgraded to Wyldfyre!" "Upgraded? Really?"

Episode 12: "Gangs of the Sea"; "Destroy the interloper!"

Episode 13: "Wyldly Inappropriate"; "No Core for you! No Core for you! No Core for you!"

Episode 14: "The Last Djinn"; "Uh, okay! I wish for you to help us kick these Howlers in their butts!" "Your wish is yours to keep!"

Episode 15: "They Call it Doom"; "As your teacher, it's vital I instill in you the knowledge that all life is important." "But that's Rapton." "HEY!"

Episode 16: "Land of Lost Things": "This Master Wu guy sounds like he has a lot of smart ideas. I might wanna hear more of them. Maybe."

Episode 17: "The Administration"; "Those two tricked us! They weren't authorized!" "They gave us... Fake forms!" "Ah, wait. We have to fill out trick-by-fake-forms forms first." "No time. Just fill out a defaulting-of-paperwork-to-a-later-date form."

Episode 18: "Absolute Power"; "You and I both know the dragon energy that has kept your kingdom running smoothly will not last forever." "If that were true, which it most certainly is not, what could an outlander such as you do about it?"

Episode 19: "We Are All Dragons"; "NOT THE SHOULDER PAD STORAGE! NOOOOOOOOOHOHOHOOOOO"

Episode 20: "The Power Within"; "And all you traitors to your Empress. You are no better than the ninja! No one will rule this kingdom but me, and I will destroy everyone who stands in my way!"

Episode 21: "The Blood Moon"; "The Blood Moon is coming... The Blood Moon is coming!"

Episode 22: "Shattered Dreams"; "It is a corrupted, advanced form of your beloved fighting technique, that has been long banned, forgotten! Shatterspin!"

Episode 23: "Beyond the Phantasm Cave"; "I've been here for hours, and nothing! Why do I have visions of everything that can go wrong, but none about how to make it right? Source Dragons, are you out there? Can you hear me? Is this just a game to you? I need answers!"

Episode 24: "Force From the East"; "We cannot ignore the threat the Blood Moon brings. With the realms now merged, the Five will have more to conquer, more to destroy. And all of our work, defeating them, banishing them, will be for naught, our legacy meaningless! We must train them."

Episode 25: "The Spell at the Waterfall"; "I await your instructions, master."

Episode 26: "To Mysterium"; "Faster! Quicker! Mental Strength! You can do this!"

Episode 27: "Fugitives From Madness"; "Stop thinking about you, start thinking about Countershot!" "The game we made up in dad's blacksmith shop? Wow, miss those days, not having to worry about saving the world..." "And who was your best Countershot partner?"

Episode 28: "Secrets of the Wyldness"; "UGH! My name is Jordana! You ninja, especially the one you call Sora, are my sworn enemies!" "Still not ringing a bell." "AHH!!!"

Episode 29: "The Forest of Spirits"; "You could be something special, too bad the ninja hold you back." "No, they don't, they're making me better!" "Then how come you aren't any better? I stopped you as easily now as the first time we met! I was weak like you once. My master found me, and taught me the most important thing in this world... strength! Maybe one day you'll find a true master, who can teach you the same."

Episode 30: "Rising Ninja"; "How dare you? You cut and run before you got the other four out!" "You will not speak to me like that, Nokt. You owe your freedom to me. I expect loyalty. And my control device will guarantee I get it... and you! You failed to keep the portal open Jordana! Do you hear me Jorda- AUGH!"

Episode 31: "The Shape of Motion"; "Cease Nokt. This is training, not war." "Everything is war." "Save your anger for when it matters."

Episode 32: "Enter the City of Temples"; "Oh yikes, a real ninja! Let us flee!" "That hurt my feelings!"

Episode 33: "They Gather for the Feast"; "One night before the new Tournament of the Sources, I'm reminded of what the Cragling poet Rockworth once said. Bwah bwahhh mbwhaw mbwahh. Bwahb bwahbhabwah"

Episode 34: "Inside the Maze"; "I am limber, I am loose... I am in trouble."

Episode 35: "United We Fall"; "Arin and his pet dragon, just like I suspected. Did your master Lloyd set you up for this?"

Episode 36: "Truth and Lies"; "Ras says everyone spends too much time trying to find harmony. But you can't passively wait for the world to harmonize, so you must take from life what you need."

Episode 37: "The Sword Shatters"; "Hey hey hey, stop! The game's already over!" "Lloyd, look out!" "RAHAHAHAHA!" "Ack ack, augh, aughhhh." (he died)

Episode 38: "Clues and Suspects"; "It was smart of Bleckt to hide the room's access in this old thing. No way Roby was gonna touch a rotary phone."

Episode 39: "The Final Game"; "In light of this, I declare the victory ceremony canceled! Security!" "In light of that, I un-cancel it! Finally, the powers I've always deserved."

Episode 40: "Elements of Betrayal"; "Get back here! Those elemental powers belong to me! RAHH!!"

[itspileofgoodthings]

Also it’s really fascinating because in a certain way Austen finds the trope of redemption through romance/good girl fixes bad boy dead but in an even realer way Henry is just the wrong candidate for it. Or, to be even more accurate, the setup of Henry and Fanny is the wrong match for it and that’s what makes it funny. The truth is that Henry objectifies her, NOT physically. His appreciation of her beauty is hands down the most romantic thing he feels for her but he objectifies her morals and her goodness, in essence: her character. He, and in a different but equally real way Mary treat Fanny like a doll and every time she does something of quality they react with surprise and delight as if a doll had done it. The fact that the surprise and delight are genuine makes it worse because it’s even more objectifying. They’re like “look at the doll speak! The doll said something incisive and profound! The doll doesn’t even know of what quality she is made because she’s so simple! Noble simplicity!” And it is objectively condescending and—not to beat a dead horse here!!!— truly objectifying. They both see and sense her superiority to the rest of Mansfield but that doesn’t mean that they treat her like a person. Henry makes much of her, refuses to listen to what she actually wants, enlists Sir Thomas against her, feels no scruple whatsoever about putting pressure on her, and doesn’t know her well enough to know that she does “know her own mind” despite not knowing her own manner. He’s also the wrong candidate for this trope because he’s too knowing and observant. He KNOWS he’s in the trope. He’s kind of like “hmmm Fanny redeeming me, Fanny changing me, wow, love to consider it from a moral aesthetic point of view, what a flower in her cap that would be and how it would stick it to the rest of the Mansfield crew” and so he’s not set up to be surprised or charmed into compassion and real love 1) because he’s self-aware of the good it would do him and 2) because he gets ahead of the good by manipulating it for his own schemes. Alleviating boredom/sticking it to Mansfield and co. being the two main ones for as far as I can tell. He even knows that if he just waits, if he just holds out that “absence, time, and distance,” as he says, will speak for him. Will clear his way. Will work on Fanny’s heart. Because it IS a powerful trope for a reason! And especially if Edmund was out of the picture re: Mary what else would there be for her to do? But that’s the thing. He SEES the truth of it and sees the inevitability of it but only because he’s thinking of this in terms of winning—winning her, but also just winning at the scheme, pulling the con. True love doesn’t do that. The absence, time, and distance of which he’s speaking would be enacted by someone with a loving heart in such a different way because it would just be the simple act of compassion and not wanting to trouble the beloved that would be the motivator. It would be Darcy going back to his normal life after the Hunsford proposal with no intention of winning Lizzy back or determination to pursue her or need to clarify anything past the letter but still with love in his heart for her. Henry doesn’t have that love and never did and so cannot be changed by it. He plays the stakes of it all like a game and because Fanny isn’t playing it at all he loses, in every possible way.

[inkblotsonmyhands]

----------------SPOILERS FOR ARCANE SEASON 2 ACT I BELOW----------------

Alright then, hopefully no one who hasn't watched Arcane S2 Act I yet is reading this. I don't know if this has already been said or not but I was (like so many others) blown away by Act I last Saturday and literally cannot wait for the next two. Full disclosure in case I get any facts wrong (feel free to correct me!!), I have never played League of Legends in my life and know no lore whatsoever outside the show.

I'm fascinated by Isha and Jinx's currently nonexistent but gradually growing relationship. First of all, if I remember correctly, we know that this child's name is Isha only because of a subtitle—she never introduces herself, and no one ever calls her by name. Jinx only acknowledges her grudgingly, and until the very last scene of Episode 3, Sevika acts like she isn't even there.

I think there's parallels to be drawn between Powder and Isha, starting with what I mentioned—both of them are often ignored by the people around them. Of course, Powder was loved by her sister and adoptive siblings and father, most of them just rarely got the chance to really show it. I don't think Sevika or Jinx particularly care about Isha at all as of now, but we don't know much about her past. There's got to be some reason why Chross's men were chasing her, and there's got to be a reason why she apparently has nowhere to go. I would guess she's associated with either Chross, another chembaron, or perhaps a figure like Vander—relevant to the Lanes, but not a chembaron. I would also guess that, like Powder, whatever familial figure she has/had is either dead or has abandoned her.

She's small (although we do not know exactly how old she's supposed to be), does not appear to have much fighting ability, was scared the first time she saw Jinx kill people, and, despite it all, seems to be unnaturally resilient. From the little I've seen, she seems to be good at hiding and sneaking around. These are more traits that seem similar to Powder's. I'd like to add that her flinching when Jinx fired at Chross's men does not necessarily mean she's never seen violence before, but that she's probably never been in the direct line of it. I also think she has some emotional attachment to her hat. That could just be because it's useful, though.

The larger case I want to bring to light, however, is not her resemblance to Powder—but how she differs. There's two scenes where I think this really stands out.

The first is the Jinx and Sevika vs Smeech fight. The setting of the fight bears some similarity to the fight Vi, Claggor, and Mylo get into against some thugs at the beginning of Season 1. Obviously, Jinx and Sevika are much more experienced than the kids were at the time of their fight, but they're also fighting against equally powered opponents. Regardless, the two fights bear a resemblance in where they take place—the streets. Powder is present in one fight mostly because she goes where Vi goes; Isha is at the other because she was following Jinx. Powder, in an act of self-defense, tries to use the bomb she made, which backfires and results in her losing the loot and, in a way, nullifying the others' victory. Isha, in an attempt to help Jinx, throws the bomb that Jinx made—successfully distracting the thug, and allowing Jinx an easy kill.

The second instance is the Jinx and Sevika vs Vi and Caitlyn fight. There's no obvious similarity here, but I think, especially from Isha/Powder's perspective, this is a very similar situation to the fight Vi and everyone gets into against Silco's gang in the warehouse at the end of S1 Act I. Assuming Isha has very little context (just like Powder did, at the time), to her, it's a very big, very scary fight of the people who are "with" her—the good guys—vs the people attacking them—the bad guys. Powder, in an act of bravery, tries to intervene with a device she knows nothing about other than the fact that it explodes—and it does explode, and ultimately kills most of the people she was trying to save. Isha, in an act of bravery, tries to intervene with a gun, something she has presumably never held before, to save Jinx's life—and she succeeds. Another interesting detail is that in Powder's case, Silco's gang, armed with Shimmer, was blatantly and dangerously overpowered—Powder brought in the Hextech, which in theory, evened the odds, or even tipped them in their favor—but still cost them the fight. The fight Isha was witnessing was fairly evenly matched—Vi and Caitlyn had more Hextech weapons, but Jinx did have one Hextech weapon, and she and Sevika had the advantage of it being on their turf. Isha intervened with a simple gun, arguably the weakest weapon on the scene, but still succeeded. Lastly, Powder's intervention was from a distance, while Isha threw herself into the action. It should go without saying that I'm not trying to put Powder and Isha against each other at all—I'm just observing the situations they got put into.

To address the elephant in the room—I am aware that Powder and Jinx are the same person, but I'm drawing a distinction here because I'm examining the similarities between Powder (young Jinx, if you will) and Isha, wondering how Jinx would perceive them (if she perceives them at all), and how that would impact her relationship with her. I have no predictions as to what that may be, but I do expect Jinx and Isha's relationship to be an interesting one, and potentially, Isha may even play an important role in changing Jinx.

One last thing, although this is unrelated to the parallels—I mentioned earlier that Sevika acts like Isha doesn't exist until the very end of Episode 3. When Isha throws herself on Jinx, Caitlyn continues attempting to fire, and Vi attempts to stop her, I believe Sevika triggers the blast, ending that altercation, largely to save Isha. When she realizes that Caitlyn won't back away, she does the best thing she can to put a stop to the situation right there.

I could draw this even further into a Vander-Vi-Powder hold parallels to Sevika-Jinx-Isha theory, but that may be a stretch, even for me.

[kandadze]

Ep 28 loose thoughts

I'm glad for the lighthearted opening, because I know it'll just go downhill from here. Also, PSJ lumped with the men while ZYZ gets to annoy them from the distance is peak comedy. Again, I'm pretty sure we'll need all the laughs we can get.

Also, this is purely from an aesthetic point of view, and seeing ZYC out of his usual deep blues, grays and indigos was jarring, to say the least. The sandy beige does not compliment his porcelain complexion at all... unless they were going for this washed-out, weary look specifically, in which case, A+ (and boy, does he have reasons to be weary lol). Bonus: Ying Lei and PSJ knowing exactly why he's calling ZYC a bastard 😂

"Next time, please finish your words in one go." Where's the fun in that though, ZYZ? You walked right into that one all by yourself 🤣

Of course Li Lun's way of "asking" for the scale was to threaten its owner with death. I'm afraid he hasn't learned anything... pity, really. I would love for him to have *some* sort of character growth.

Wow, ain't she miss popular all of a sudden! Is the Chongwu Camp guy gonna help LL to save Bai Jiu's body, or is he gonna go with his boss's orders after all? And of course the boss has *something* on the princess - I refuse to believe that his repulsive ass is Meng Xuan.

What's with that look, LL? Did you forget that the 3-face-mask - what's his name again? Wen something? - is after ZYZ's inner core? Did you think he was gonna stop trying to get it when you backed out of your deal? (Unless he's more like, welp, there goes my chance to get rid of the  poison...)

The whole "why do we need the scale" sequence is sending me. Ying Lei: she's so good at making up stories! ZYC: she probably got that from one of her novels. YL: I was not allowed to read erotica!!! 🤣 Meanwhile, in the distance, WX: let me spin this even harder, for maximum effect. ZYZ: 😲😱🤯😵‍💫🫡 YL: 🤢

But of course, the show will not let us forget that the success rate of interspecies romance in this universe is exactly zilch, nada, and zippo... and here I am, still holding onto hope for some kind of satisfactory ending. Oof, the way WX went "you owe me a life" so matter-of-factly... give me more female characters with a backbone of steel!

Omg can I just barf. Wen Zongyu *is* Meng Xuan? Is it just me who finds the taste of the Wilderness women we've seen so far shacking up with humans - Bai Jiu's mom and now the princess -  highly questionable? Like, why. My aroace ass cannot conceive how the princess could fall for *that* guy, of all people. I've sat through all the tragic romances so far not quite understanding maybe, but believing in all of them, but this, no.

(Also, it is now confirmed, that little bridge is like a tourist attraction for lovers, only every couple who sat on it is doomed. You should've played with your sparklers at the dock, ZYZ, WX!)

Oh wait hold up? Meng Xuan is someone WZY knew? He pretended to be him? Oh for fuck's sake! But the woman the princess poisoned *was* WZY's wife, right? And WX's dad and WZY knew each other??? This is so confusing ffs

"An innocent person's only crime is to own something valuable." "People with a treasure are always surrounded by bad wolves and cunning foxes. In most cases, in order to protect the treasure, they become a bloodthirsty beast, too." "It's a choice. She could choose not to." Love this whole convo on innocence and how it can get twisted, and ZYC restating his values. (I also get distracted by his eyelashes, like, constantly. 😅)

Oh, is WX going for the jugular. (And it appears only ZYC knew about the princess killing WX's dad. When did he find out, I wonder.) Also, hello? The *triple* murderer gets to make a request? For ZYZ's inner core, nonetheless??? I mean, I know why she's asking for that specifically - Chongwu Camp lackey did get to her first, after all - but that's not how "paying back" works, lady.

ZYZ, you just promised ZYC that you won't seek death, and then not only do you risk your life for him almost immediately after, now you're back on your self-sacrificial bs??? I swear, ZYC's patience for this demon. And his love, too. "Keep your inner core. I won't exchange it for anything, not even the Cloud Light Sword." Ahhh my heart.

Did he really pull a demonic equivalent of "my body, my choice"??? ::dies:: and then he goes, you don't want to make that choice, I'll make it for you. I immediately flashed back to Ying Long making the decision for Bingyi, oh no 😭

Awwww goddamnit everyone (not you WX, you're on the right side here), stop making ZYC sad! He cares for all of you, stop forcing him to make impossible choices! (You can tell I'm really invested when I start talking directly to the characters lol) In a way I understand why Ying Lei and PSJ would choose Xiao Jiu over ZYZ. YL's grandpa's death is no doubt still fresh on his mind, and even though in a way he seems to be going against his grandpa's final act of love, it's also a sort of "life for life" reasoning. For PSJ, even if her views of demons shifted since we first met her, Xiao Jiu is first and foremost a kid who reminds her of her brother. So I understand where they might be coming from, and I still don't like that ZYC has to deal with his found family fracturing before his very eyes.

Goddamnit, Ying Lei's projecting his own wish for being special and chosen. Makes sense, our underappreciated comic relief might not be expressing it much but we've been shown his constant vying for attention and validation (especially from ZYC and XJ) often enough. Headpats my dear boy, you *are* special. You are also, however, using emotional blackmail to sway ZYC, and I don't like that.

Ah, PSJ, back to annoying tf out of me. "Not 'we.' Just you and Zhuo Yichen" is it now? Damn it, this show just keeps finding ways to make my heart hurt. Don't break up the family!!! Not like this! You tell them, ZYC! (ZYZ's face when ZYC in essence said, over my dead body!)

............

Remember folks this is me yelling into my notepad as I'm watching bit by bit. At this point I had to stop because I reached my limit and at the same time had a terrible thought that this is another illusion. Because no way in hell did I just watch them-  Draw. Weapons. On. ZYC???!!!

This can't be real. ZYZ, stop this nonsense!

....... I hate it here.

Okay, before I go any further, I *know* from the MV and the trailer that whatever the fuck just happened can't be real. But they better have a *very* good explanation because my poor heart pretty much stopped for a moment.

So they got the scale. Yippie.

What was the point of all of this if she dgaf for the letter? Please get them both off of my screen, he's a fucking monster and she has no taste, and I dgaf for their tragic story (barf). I think this is the first time I got seriously annoyed while watching this drama, which, considering we're on ep 28, is a feat in itself.

How tf did he recognize PSJ's arrow? Can he tell it's hers by its trajectory? I guess he's just naturally brilliant at everything killing related?

OMG ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, DRAMA. We were told earlier that the fish can communicate with Longyu! And they gave us a shot of fish in that pond they were all standing at! They even showed us WX holding up something before the "break-up" started - I just didn't realize it was her "notebook"... So everyone was acting??? But there was no way ZYC could've read her notes, so was he the only one who wasn't??? 😭 You mofos, how dare you put him through stress like that!!!

"Go away." "Okay." Someone's sleeping on a couch tonight... From the music in the background I know we're supposed to find this reveal funny, the *four* of them definitely do (while laughing at him), and I just keep thinking of what it must've felt like to him. Isn't his biggest fear losing his loved ones? Whether by death or by a difference in thought, which changes love into hate? (Stil not over that little speech on love vs hate XJ's mom gave several eps back!) Even if it was a ruse, for him it was real. In short, ZYC my man, I applaud you for your restraint; I would've blasted the lot with some ice by now.

Oof another reveal. Will the asshole care? I doubt it. ZYZ's hand on WX's shoulder because of course she's gonna blame herself. Aaaand I was right, the asshole doesn't care... can someone just shoot him for me, please.

Wow, ZYZ, you little attention whore. And again they're giving us the "you can't choose your origin, but you can choose your own life," just as they're marching us towards the inevitable end. Nooo, not the leaves speech! Seriously, the amount of beautiful, soul-crushing lines in this drama! Aaaand he just said the title. The dream will end, we will wake up, we'll go back to reality. But we'll remember the dream forever... I feel like WX is expressing our hopes for a different ending, and ZYZ is confirming our fears that it can't be changed. Goddamnit.

And then she goes, let's live together, even though there's definitely something wrong going on with her??? Thanks for the forehead touch, drama, I'm a sucker for those.

Aw LL, you sad little demon possessing a dying child's body. I find it fascinating how different his cave looks now, almost ethereal with all the flowers and floating lights, while he's decaying (not to mention all the raw meat he's been consuming).

ZYC changed clothes, thank goodness 😅 I mean, y'all *could* just apologize? Why make it seem that he's the unreasonable one for being genuinely upset over something he didn't know was an act? The prolonged hovering of their hands, I can't 🤣 Do you want to get the scale stolen? Because that's how you get things stolen in this world, by not using them immediately. Come to think of it, why don't they know how to use it? You'd think Ying Long told them, right? (What you wanna bet that somehow WZY knows?) What the heck did I just say? They're already being watched...

Good on you for not being fooled (I mean, ZYC *never* smiles like that, why does she keep making the same mistake), but oh goodness did he lose the thing he was supposed to guard with his life *fast*. I hate that we see them so reactive so often, and just *not* smart. They *just* said LL was going to try to get the scale - but they still left Ying Lei by himself? Please, you're supposed to be good, not *dumb*!

Huh, I guess I should've known there'll be another twist(s). I'm exhausted so all I have left is, I appreciate the little moment of softness between LL and his human livers dealer, and did ZYZ really teach LL *all* his tricks? We shall see. (And as I promised myself, I'm not checking out the preview. My sanity's frayed as it is.)

[discordiansamba]

there's a bit of a rush towards the evening. zuko sighs and gets up to go and help katara. iroh sends his nephew off with a pat on the back, watching as he nearly effortlessly slips back into waiting tables. zuko is himself again, but iroh fears he may never be entirely free of lee. he will do what he can to help, iroh thinks.

he turns to his son.

his new beard and mustache do not suit him, iroh thinks. they were grown by a much different man, in earth kingdom style. lu ten catches his eye and gives him a faint smile even as he strokes them. he'd felt compelled to grow them after being brainwashed. a suggestion from the dai li, perhaps, to help mask his face. he supposes he'll have to shave, if he's to return to the fire nation to become his heir.

iroh embraces his son again.

it has been seven years, iroh thinks. seven years since he last saw lu ten. all this time, he'd thought he was dead. now his son was here, in front of him- alive and well. and married, apparently! i heard you invited zuko to the ceremony, but you must tell me about it. and about your husband! lu ten sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, but he does not hesitate to divulge.

min-su was a lot like me, lu ten tells him, i would have picked him too. except...

he trails off. he does not need to finish. if the siege had succeeded, lu ten would have not ended up this way. he also never would have met the man he'd shared no insignificant part of his life with. he would be different. they all would be different.

"i'm glad we lost," lu ten says, "-but i'm sorry you had to go through that, father."

iroh pats his back. he is grateful they lost as well. it opened his eyes to things he had refused to see before. lu ten nods, his gaze drifting towards the main shop just in time to see zuko trying to pull out a wayward toddler from underneath a table, as katara giggles and holds up the tablecloth. the expression he sees on his nephew's face as he emerges is not one iroh has seen before.

it has nothing and everything to do with the ordeal he went through.

they speak in length. lu ten tells him of his life as min-su. how he'd thought of himself as a refugee who had gotten himself in a bit of trouble with the dai li, and how he'd been determined to turn over a new leaf upon being released. he'd signed up for a position as a guard first thing that morning, apparently. it was good, steady work-

-until the fire nation had invaded.

"really gives you a new perspective on things," lu ten says, "-being earth kingdom. living through that."

lu ten is quiet after that. iroh can tell he's thinking. eventually he stands up, and starts helping him make tea. he'd taught his son years ago, but he'd never thought he'd get the chance to make tea with him again. seven years is a long time to live as another person, but they fall into step together regardless.

but lu ten had not been as lost as zuko had been.

"i wish i'd seen it," lu ten whispers, "-maybe i could have done something. i recognized you. why couldn't i recognize him?"

iroh puts his hand on his shoulder and shakes his head. it is not his fault. you had not seen zuko since he was a child. his father had not yet burned him then. he is just glad the two of you found each other regardless. he looks at his son and wonders what it was like, meeting a member of his own family anew.

he would rather not find out the answer.

the evening rush trickles down, and the jasmine dragon's closing hour arrived. iroh cannot lie- he enjoyed acting as its owner once more. but he knows he cannot return here. he has already been away from the fire nation for too long. he must return home.

lu ten bows to him, and bids him goodnight.

iroh looks at his son, but he understands. min-su had a life here. even if lu ten does not intend to return to it, he cannot simply disappear. he must go home to his husband. must figure out his next step. iroh tells him that he and zuko plan to leave for the fire nation next week. lu ten promises he will be there.

it is hard, watching his son leave.

but this time, iroh knows he will return to him.

the taste of the tea is familiar.

min-su frowns, and stares at his cup. he knows this flavor, but he's never been to this tea shop before. he never would have thought of coming to a tea shop in the upper ring if lee hadn't invited him. he'd been worried sick about the kid recently. he kept disappearing and reappearing- moving away suddenly, without warning.

he looks up at lee. something is... different about him.

it's just the short hair. or maybe it's the way he's stopped hiding his scar. it had churned his gut the first time he saw it. he'd wondered how anyone could do that to a kid- and he'd been relieved to learn later that it was just from an accident. he wasn't so sure why he'd been convinced someone had done it to him on purpose.

(he always expected lee to hate his father.)

min-su asks if he can meet the brewer. the tea is delicious he says. lee nods and leads him to the back. he's not smiling, for once. his expression is serious. it's not like him, min-su can't help but think. it's very much like him, he also thinks.

min-su stops dead in his tracks at the sight of the old man in the kitchen. he... knows this man from somewhere, some part of him thinks, even though they've never met. the man meets his eyes, and tears flow down his cheeks.

he calls him lu ten.

min-su feels cool hands pressed up against his skull- and then slowly, groggily, lu ten wakes up. it's like being dragged out of a frozen pond after being trapped in there for a long time. for a few moments, he doesn't remember how to move his body. then his father has thrown his arms around him and the spell breaks.

"father," lu ten says, "-what are you doing here?"

here is ba sing se. the siege failed. lu ten was captured. he was taken underneath a lake, and a different man using his body had walked back out. he called himself min-su, and found work as a guard. he was a good earth kingdom man, loyal to the earth king and the dai li. he fought for his country. he'd fallen in love with a metalworker and had married him. his favorite tea shop was a place called the lotus blossom...

...his favorite tea server was a young boy named lee.

lee. agni. zuko.

"father, zuko-"

"is fine," zuko says from behind him- then makes a face and wiggles his fingers, "-ish."

the waterbender just nods her head in solemn agreement. lu ten wonders if he's supposed to know her too. he's pretty sure she did something to heal his head. he looks at his cousin- and then extends an arm to him. zuko rolls his eyes in a very un-lee-like way, but he lets him drag them into the hug.

he'll find out a bit later exactly what happened to him. he'd been brainwashed. years later, his uncle and zuko come to the city as refugees- and zuko would help his sister take it down from the inside, only to be doublecrossed by her. zuko had been brainwashed too, but his was far worse than lu ten's had been.

the war was over. the fire nation had been defeated. his father now sat on the fire lord's throne, after having it taken from him by his uncle. he no longer wished for war- only peace. and lu ten, who had lived for seven years as a good earth kingdom man, could look back and see the futility and cruelness of it all.

...agni. how was he supposed to tell his husband this?

[green-mountain-goose]

aim of the game is to fuck about with me as much as possible then gaslight me that everything's fine, they never did anything wrong and i'm imagining it

[introspectivememories]

god i know i said i was tired of making eveerything sad but just imagine timber those first few months of reconnecting and they're both drunk on tim's boat, laying on the deck staring up at the stars and bear turns over to look at tim, his eyes are sad and wet, and he reaches out to touch tim's face as if to make sure tim is really there and not an illusion and tim whispers, "bear?" and bernard smiles a little brokenly and goes, "so how long do i have you for this time?"

[nbmudkip]

rehyperfixating on a children’s game that came out in 2015, is one of the least popular entries in its series, and has minimal content, the vast majority of which i’ve seen before. the series has been dead for nearly 10 years, nothing has happened recently that would warrant anyone’s returning interest in it, very few of my friends give a shit about this specific game, and those few who played and liked it in the past have no reason to give a shit about it at all right now. i have been coasting through on a playthrough i’ve been doing with a friend who’d never seen the game before and who was kind enough to let me show it to them, but we just beat the game, and after we play the epilogue we will have nothing left to do, and on top of that they really have just been humoring me as they have their own very strong current hyperfixation they would much rather be thinking about. also i am depressed enough right now that literally nothing else except for waiting to play this game with them and playing this game with them and watching them enjoy it at least a little has been able to briefly quiet the constant cacophony in my head screaming how much of a worthless, lazy, constantly-failing miserable excuse for a living person i am and how much better everything would be, especially for myself, if i stopped existing lately. would anyone like to volunteer to 🔨💥⚒️Kill Me With Hammers🔨💥⚒️ because i would really like for someone to 🔨💥⚒️Kill Me With Hammers🔨💥⚒️ right now

[acourtofquestions]

"You'll come back," Manon said.

It sounded like more of a threat than anything

Dorian smirked. "Would you miss me if I didn't?"

Manon didn't reply. He didn't know why he expected her to.

He'd taken all of a step, when Asterin clasped his shoulder. "In and out, quick as you can," she warned him. "Take care of Narene." Worry indeed shone in the Second's gold-flecked black eyes. Dorian bowed his head. "With my life," he promised as he approached her mount and grasped the dangling reins. He didn't fail to miss the gratitude that softened Asterin's features. Or that Manon had already turned away from him.

A fool to start down this path with her. He should have known better.

The hours that passed were some of the longest of Manon's existence.

From anticipation, she told herself. Of what she had to do.

Abraxos, unsurprisingly, found them within an hour, his reins sliced from the struggle he'd no doubt waged and won with Sorrel. He waited, however, beside Manon in silence, wholly focused upon the gate where Dorian and Narene had vanished.

Time dripped by. The king's sword was constant weight at her side. She cursed herself for needing to prove-to him, to herself-that she refused to let him go into Morath for practical, ordinary reasons. Erawan wasn't at the Ferian Gap. It'd be safer. Somewhat. But if the Matrons were there … That was why he'd gone. To learn if they were. To see if Petrah truly commanded the host there, and how many Ironteeth were present. He had not been trained as a spy, but he'd grown up in a court where people wielded smiles and clothes like weapons. He knew how to blend in, how to listen. How to make people see what they wished to see. She'd sent Elide into the dungeons of Morath, Darkness damn her. Sending the King of Adarlan into the Ferian Gap was no different.

It didn't stop her breath from escaping when Abraxos stiffened, scanning the sky. As if he heard something they couldn't.

And it was the joy that sparked in her mount's eyes that told her.

Moments later, Narene sailed toward them, making a lazy path over the mountains, a dark-haired, pale-skinned rider atop her. He'd truly been able to change parts of himself. Had made his face nearly unrecognizable. And kept it that way.

Asterin rushed toward the mare, and even Manon blinked as her Second threw her arms around Narene's neck. Holding her tight. The mare only leaned her head against Asterin's back and huffed.

Manon hadn't dwelled long on what she'd say.

And as the three hundred Ironteeth witches filed into the hall, some coming off their patrols, Manon half wondered if she should have. They watched her, watched the Thirteen, with a wary disdain.

Their disgraced Wing Leader; their fallen Heir.

When all were gathered, Petrah, still standing in the doorway where she'd appeared, merely said, "My life debt for an audience, Blackbeak."

Manon swallowed, her tongue as dry as paper. Seated atop Abraxos, she could see every shifting movement in the crowd, the wide eyes or hands gripping swords.

"I will not tell you the particulars of who I am," Manon said at last. "For I think you have already heard them."

"Crochan bitch," someone spat.

Manon set her eyes on the Blackbeaks, stone-faced where the others bristled with hatred. It was for them she spoke, for them she had come here.

jacket, then hoisting up her white shirt. Rising in the stirrups to bare her scarred, brutalized abdomen. "She does not lie."

UNCLEAN

There, the word remained stamped. Would always be stamped.

"How many of you," Asterin called out, "have been similarly branded? By your Matron, by your coven leader? How many of you have had your stillborn witchlings burned before you might hold them?"

The silence that fell now was different from before. Shaking shuddering.

Manon glanced at the Thirteen to find tears in Ghislaine's eyes as she took in the brand on Asterin's womb. Tears in the eyes of all of them, who had not known. And it was for those tears, which Manon had never seen, that she faced the host again.

"You will be killed in this war, or after it. And you will never see our homeland again."

"What is it that you want, Blackbeak?" Petrah asked from the archway.

"Ride with us," Manon breathed. "Fly with us.

Against Morath. Against the people who would keep you from your homeland, your future." Murmuring broke out again. Manon pushed ahead, "An Ironteeth-Crochan alliance. Perhaps one to break our curse at last."

Again, that shuddering silence. Like a storm about to break Asterin sat back in the saddle, but kept her shirt open.

"The choice of how our people's future shall be shaped is yours," Manon told each of the witches assembled, all the Blackbeaks who might fly to war and never return. "But I will tell you this." Her hands shook, and she fisted them on her thighs. "There is a better world out there. And I have seen it."

Even the Thirteen looked toward her now.

"I have seen witch and human and Fae dwell together in peace. And it is not weakness to do so, but a strength. I have met kings and queens whose love for their kingdoms, their peoples, is so great that the self is secondary. Whose love for their people is so strong that even in the face of unthinkable odds, they do the impossible."

Manon lifted her chin. "You are my people. Whether my grandmother decrees it so or not, you are my people, and always will be. But I will fly against you, if need be, to ensure that there is a future for those who cannot fight for it themselves. Too long have we preyed on the weak, relished doing so. It is time that we became better than our foremothers." The words she had given the Thirteen months ago. "There is a better world out there," she said again. "And I will fight for it." She turned Abraxos away, toward the plunge behind them. "Will you?"

Manon nodded to Petrah. Eyes bright, the Heir only nodded back. They would be permitted to leave as they had arrived: unharmed.

So Manon nudged Abraxos, and he leaped into the sky, the Thirteen following suit.

Not a child of war. But of peace.

[crossbackpoke-check]

Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee

dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.

jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3

[thebirdandhersong]

the miserable angry person I become when I haven't eaten is, in a word, atrocious. it is 9pm I have not had my dinner murder is about to be on the menu if I don't fix this soon

[talkorsomething]

I have Got to get more transgender

[sparklestheunicorn]

Me thinking about shallan davar and her relationship with her dad

[chilapis]

Just came back from the exam, I hope everyone is doing well.