bbbearwin

[bbbearwin]

oh what’ve I been up to these past few weeks? well nothing much you know haha. just killing people. just murdering people. I’ve been murdering people

[bbbearwin]

this too shall pass

[bbbearwin]

we have to be silly together it's an imperative i can't do this alone

[bbbearwin]

matching shirts for you and your bff

[bbbearwin]

I hope you know I didn't want it to take so long..

I didn't mean to take this long :(

If I thought I needed this much time I would've told you..

I thought I would've had it figured out by now but clearly I dont.. that's why you haven't heard from me.

I don't even know what to say anymore, it's been so long. I don't know if I even have the right to say anything anymore.

Know that I will always love you, and know that I will always appreciate everything you've done for me. Even if I don't get the right to love you anymore. I'm sorry I left you alone, dearest sister of mine.

- 🎆 Z

Hey, what matters is you’re doing better, or at least, you’re doing your best! I’m not sure what you’ve done, but I *know* that it’s more than enough to rest. My beautiful, darling sister of mine. You gave me so much hope and courage, you constantly inspire me to be a little brighter, even now. I admit, it hurt so much when you left. I didn’t understand why you didn’t even say goodbye… But I know you weren’t happy here. You need not apologize to me, it’s just nice to see your wonderful handwriting again.

Another day will come, and another chance you’ll get. There’s no room left for regret!  You surely go by Zariah now, right? I remember. When we'd play house with the other kids and you were always so eager to be the mother, insisting that we call you that..... It’s such a gorgeous name. Just as beautiful as the woman I’m sure you’ve finally become now that you’ve left the nest that was holding you back. You’re dancing to the beat of your own drum, dear. You just haven’t stopped to look in a mirror yet. My incomparable, sweet, astonishing, show stopping sister I have so much love in my heart for. Know I will always always always be your greatest fan, no matter what happens or how much time you need.

With much care,

your dearest little sister, 

Carmen

[bbbearwin]

i love the term "unwell"... theres something very very wrong with you. not saying what tho

[bbbearwin]

i want you carnally *shoves a knife into your abdomen*

[bbbearwin]

via weheartit

[bbbearwin]

"...is this who I really am?" - Yoon Jongwoo, Strangers from Hell (2019)

[ Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground// untitled sculpture, ceydajeevas on instagram// Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis// Strangers from Hell (2019), dir Lee Chang-hee// Bora Chung, Cursed Bunny// Monster (2004)// Hieu Minh Nguyen, Elegy for the First// Perfect Blue (1997), dir Satoshi Kon// Naoki Urasawa, Monster (1994-2001) ]

[bbbearwin]

You once told me that the human eye is god’s loneliest creation.

How so much of the world passes through the pupil and still it holds nothing.

The eye, alone in its socket, doesn’t even know there’s another one, just like it, an inch away, just as hungry, as empty.

-On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

(none of the pictures are my own)

[bbbearwin]

> playing fratricide chicken with my sibling

> whoever wins gets a life-changing prize

> win

> check my prize

> my sibling is dead and the person i was shaped into because of our relationship has died with them

> i can never go back to how i used to be

[bbbearwin]

{ @fatimaamerbilal " hungry thread of nerves" / Hidden Poem by Naomi Shihab Nye }

[bbbearwin]

[bbbearwin]

My favorite thing to do before executing a risky maneuver is to loudly proclaim to anyone nearby that "I'm young, I'm fantastic, and I'm never gonna die". This is firstly to pump myself up, secondly because if I succeed I'll be proven right in front of an audience, and thirdly because it is the funniest possible thing to say immediately before being horrifically mangled in a completely dumbfuck sort of way

[bbbearwin]

I’m against power structures and hierarchies of any form unless it’s in the bedroom

[bbbearwin]

there's an episode of malcolm in the middle where he just shuts up and stops complaining for awhile and it immediately starts to significantly improve his life but also it causes him an ulcer and by the end of the episode he is literally spitting up blood and i have always deeply and unshakably believed that is exactly how the situation would play out for me too

[bbbearwin]

˚✧  rêverie  ˚✧ 

exclusive preorder-only print for my artbook (will be launching preorders soon!)

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