#i cannot control what my pencil does

[kitn-underfoot]

I'm back I think?

I took a really long hiatus, as 2024 was a really bad year for me. I think I'm mostly out of the fog of it all and I actually feel like drawing again!

I thought now was a good time to reiterate that, while my blog is mostly SFW, it does contain adult themes so minors please DNI.

I know a lot of people that follow me are strictly SFW so if there's anything I post that's a little closer to PG-13 levels, I'll try to post it behind a page cut so you only have to see it if you want to. I want my page to be welcoming to everyone. I, myself, am ace so I totally get not wanting to see suggestive stuff when you aren't ready for it.

As for anything past PG-13, that will be posted exclusively over on my bluesky... if there ever is anything like that.

Anyway, missed you guys!

[bamsara]

Why did you start writing? From what I can tell you put a lot of passion into the works you make, where did it all start for the lovely stories you make now?

Wayyyy earlier when I was 9-10ish, and even at that age I was writing a lot, with just pencil and notebook paper. I know I have written earlier than that, but I have no evidence of it.

I filled up an entire 3inch binder with an entirely hand written story about a girl who lives who her grandma and has a dog named Trout, almost dies in tornado at school and finds out the tornado as a sentient being that was trying to kill her because she has some connection to a random dude that can control the weather, and a elegant queen lady who controls ice that basically adopts her and turns her into a scout to find other people who have elemental powers. She doesn't have any herself, but for some reason she can tell who does, and then can steal it. I still have that binder in my closet. Would not recommend reading it though lmao

I started publishing my writing online, fanfiction specifically, when I was 11ish and totally not supposed to be online yet. My first fanfic I wrote and published was for Soul Eater, and that account and those stories are still up to this day. (cringe warning for the exact kind of thing you would expect an 10-11 year old to write) I actually had two fanfic.net accounts, this one where I wrote L4D stuff too.

I switched from fanfic.net to Wattpad after I got into FNAF and wrote a bunch of Fnaf stuff from an AU I had in 2015, and that AU is what led me to making a tumblr account that year, mainly to post my art for my stories. (I had always been drawing, too, but I didn't start posting that until wattpad)

And then I switched to AO3 around 2018 and my stories have been there since. I have, quite literally, been writing for nearly 15 years, with pretty much all of my work well-documented online since I started.

I hate my older works from when I was a teen/kid, and even work from just a few years back, and even removed them at some point, but decided to keep them up for archival purposes. Especially since you can kinda see how my writing style has changed, my standards in writing like the wordcount going from 80k at 11yrs old to 200k something for my long fics, my viewpoints and beliefs, etc etc. I am also very...picky about the stories I read, so if I cannot find what I want, I will make it myself.

Writing is absolutely the best and most practiced coping mechanism I've had since forever. I will write even if I do not have any readers. I still write things that I do not post online, so overtime what was something I deeply enjoyed as a hobby and an outlet to process difficult and low parts of my life becoming something enjoyable to other people is kind of wild to me, still.

And I'll continue to do it even if one day this account explodes or something. When I said 'Writing and creating art is the only thing keeping me sane' I was not trying to be quirky /lighthearted. I'll dedicate entire days to writing chapters in a row.

But yeah I've been writing for a long while, I'm glad you guys really like it! Look at my cats

[morganski-19]

The One Where Eddie Gets Another Job

Steve and Robin walk into the coffee house after work. Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle already sitting in their spot. Robin sits next to Nancy on the couch while Steve flops into the armchair.

“How was the first day of school,” Nancy asks Steve.

Steve groans. “I have three Gabriels in my class and all of them want to be called Gabe. And two of them have a last name that starts with H. Then the fire alarm went off because Beverly decided that popcorn was the perfect lunchtime snack. Three moms tried to hit on me when I was doing car line, and I think one of the kids was sick. So that’s about to be spread around my classroom.”

“That’s,” she starts, trying to find something positive to say. “I have nothing, that sounds like shit.”

“I could never be a teacher,” Robin sighs into the couch. “I didn’t like kids that much to begin with. And after the things you tell me, never.”

“I don’t know,” Argyle pipes in. “It could be fun. And very rewarding.”

“I could totally see you being a kindergarten teacher,” Steve suggests.

The group does a vague nod in agreement.

“For anyone wondering how my day was,” Robin perks up. “I had a very nice conversation with this Italian man. He’s opening up a small bakery with his wife and wanted someone to go over the contracts with him. He’s bringing me some pastries as a thank you when they get up and running.”

The conversation about work continues for a bit, each of them sharing how their day was and destressing.

“Where’s Eddie,” Steve eventually asks. He’s normally here by this point.

Nancy starts laughing. “Oh just wait.”

“What,” Jonathan looks up from his laptop. “Did we miss something?”

“Like I said,” Nancy continues to laugh over her coffee. “Just you wait.”

Like speaking of him suddenly made him appear, Eddie walks out of the backroom of the coffee house. With an apron tied around his waist and a pencil behind his ear. He heads over to an empty table with a wet rag, wiping it down.

“Oh my god,” Robin whispers with surprise.

“Is that Eddie, working?” Argyle questions. “Here?”

Nancy nods, her laughter getting louder. “Yes.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Eddie working,” Robin comments. “It’s like watching an animal out in the wild.”

“I can hear you, you know,” Eddie groans. Shoving the rag in his apron pocket and walking over.

Robin smiles. “I meant you to.”

“How long have you been working here?” Steve asks.

Eddie shrugs. “A few days now.”

“I thought you were working on being a tattoo artist,” Jonathan says. Taking a break from editing photos on his laptop to invest in this conversation.

“That I am. But I needed to shut down my Etsy page for art commissions, because people were being a bunch of dicks, so now I’m down one job. So I got another. Because rent is fucking expensive.”

Nancy makes a gesture with her hand. “And that’s with it rent controlled.”

Eddie makes a gesture toward her. “Also, I blew all of my savings moving out here, so I am trying to build those back up.”

“Aw, look at you being financially responsible,” Robin teases. Poking Eddie’s arm.

“You’re growing up,” Nancy eggs on. Feigning wiping away tears.

Eddie rolls his eyes. “You guys are the worst. I knew it was a bad idea getting a job here.”

“I don’t think I ever envisioned you being a barista,” Argyle notes. “Bartender, yes. Barista, no.”

“Well, I work the late shift too. So I am both of those things.”

“Oo,” Robin turns around on the couch. Standing on her knees to see him better. “Do you get a discount? Can we abuse it?”

Eddie shakes off her hand. “Yes, I get a discount, no you cannot abuse it. I sort of need this job, so I’d rather not get fired. It says strictly in the rules that I cannot use it for friends.”

Robin falls back down, defeated. “Boo, you’re no fun.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Eddie walks away behind the counter. Cleaning off the counter and starting to make someone’s order.

“I’m going to go get something to drink,” Steve says, standing up. “You want anything, Rob?”

“Just a green tea. Not feeling coffee right now.”

Steve nods while going over to the counter. Sitting down at one of the stools. “So, you work here now.”

“I thought that was already established.” Eddie hands off the drink he was making to the girl further down. Coming to stand in front of Steve.

“Is that why you couldn’t come over last night? You could have said that.”

Eddie shrugs. “I didn’t want you to know, quite yet. Thought you wouldn’t really like how much I bounce around jobs.”

“You’re not though. You have a job, you just needed a second one. No shame in that.” Steve leans further across the bar. “It also helps that I find bartenders to be really hot.”

“Steven,” Eddie gasps. “I am at work.”

Steve smirks. “I know.”

Eddie shakes his head. “Did you want anything, or are you just here to flirt with me?”

“Only if flirting with you gets me a discount. Otherwise, I’ll just take my business elsewhere.”

“Is that really all I am to you?” Eddie starts making Steve’s usual drink order. Waiting for the espresso to brew.

“And Rob wanted a green tea.”

Eddie nods, pouring some hot water into a glass and adding a tea bag. “How was work?”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Don’t even get me started. The first day is always hard.”

“Oh, I bet.” Eddie steams the milk, adding it to the top of the espresso and drizzling it with caramel.

“And I just can’t wait until I get to hear all of the single, and not so single, PTA moms throwing their cheap pick-up lines at me.” Steve says that with a leading tone. Hoping that Eddie takes that in the direction he wants it to.

Eddie slides the drinks across the bar. “That something they do,” he says, with a lilt of jealousy.

“Every year. Without fail.”

“Any way I can help with that?”

“Come over later and find out.” Steve gives him a flirtatious smile. “What do I owe you?”

Eddie waves his hand. “It’s on the house.”

“I was joking before. Seriously, what so I owe you.”

“And now I’m being serious. I get a free drink a day that I can give out to a friend, so consider that covering Rob’s, and then I am personally paying for yours.”

“What was it about needing to save up money?”

“That doesn’t apply to you, sweetheart.” Eddie leans over the bar a little bit, palms pressed into the edge of the counter.

“Steve,” Robin yells from the couch. “I thought you were getting us drinks.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “I’m paying next time, no arguments.”

“Whatever you say so.”

He walks back over to the group and hands Robin her tea.

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or taken off) @slowandsteddie, @annieofhearts, @cacdyke, @ubpd, @captain--low,

@thespaceantwhowrites, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @anne-bennett-cosplayer, @lunaticparisianlady,

@apomaro-mellow, @dolphincliffs, @dragonmama76, @maggiebug417, @stevesbipanic,

@fearieshadow, @eightpackdiaz, @au79burger @bookworm0690 , @practicallybegging,

@potato-of-the-lord, @autumncrocusandladybug, @estrellami-1, @ilovecupcakesandtea, @gregre369

@my2amgaythoughts, @ellietheasexylibrarian, @emmabubbles, @eriquin, @grtwdsmwhr

@croatoan-like-its-hot, @dreamercec, @dreamy-jeans137

[hughiecampbelle]

Cornered (Homelander Oneshot)

Character/s: Homelander

Word Count: 1,645

Requested: Hi! Can I request Homelander x reader with the prompts “Engagement” and “I missed you”? I haven’t requested anything from anyone in awhile so I hope I’m doing this right 😆 - anon

A/N: I'm so sorry it's taken me so long my love! Writing fics has been especially hard lately. I have so many great requests, so many good ideas, but I hate everything I write and I just don't want to post something I'm unhappy with. I'm still not 100% over this, but rewriting it over and over just ends up making it worse unfortunately 😅 Writers block is so frustrating and makes me feel awful. Thank you for being so patient and I really hope you like it!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

I missed you. His room is completely destroyed. Mirrors shattered, statues broken, furniture in flames. And he stands in the middle, perfectly untouched, unphased, arms stretched outward. He expects a hug. He expects a lot of things. You step over the debris, inhaling the scent of smoke, of burning, mazing through the mess towards him. It’s too quiet. Aside from the crackling of the fire, it eats through the fabric, the stuffing of the couch, you could hear a pin drop. This place had always been eerie, but it was downright frightening. His smile is wide, unfaltering. He wraps himself around you, his hand raising to cradle the back of your head, pressing you into him. He never learned to be gentle. He never learned to hug someone like he likes them. He does it out of ownership, control. He does it so that you cannot fight back. You squeeze your eyes shut, imagining a different life, a different love, anything but this. Your arms stay still at your side. I missed you so much, he says again as a sign in relief. He doesn’t wait for you to respond. He’s learned, over the years, that conversations like this lack a back and forth. They are one sided. He talks to himself. Sometimes he’s okay with it. Sometimes he’s not. At this moment, he is the latter. I missed you so much. Is he talking to himself? Responding to himself? Is he trying to comfort himself? Did you miss me? This is a test. Unable to speak, to find your voice, you nod. You make sure he can feel you do this. Good, he smiles, that's good. You did good. You passed. This time. 

It’s hard to remember a time before this. There was a childhood. An adolescence. Young adulthood. There had to be. People didn’t just wake up one day, existing instantaneously. You had to have had a family, friends, some sort of education. There are glimpses of that, of a person who lived, who looked like you, who is long gone. A best friend you shared crayons with. Maybe they were colored pencils. All you see is the colors, the dimpled hands of small children grabbing greedily at the cyan blue or cherry red. You don’t know what you were drawing, or who this other person was, only that, for a few seconds at least, you had a friend. Someone who cared about you, perhaps even loved you. There is a car ride. You’re big enough to sit in the passenger seat. It’s bright outside, green, probably Spring. The window is cracked open, the breeze kissing your face, the sunlight beaming down through the branches of the tree lined street. A feminine voice is talking to you. Her words are muffled, her tone malleable. Sometimes she sounds happy, on the verge of laughter. Other times she’s annoyed, frustrated. The scenery never changes. It is always nice out. It was always warm. You like to think of her as your mother. A maternal figure concerned for your safety, pleasantly surprised about a good grade, tired of your attitude. You’d take it all, needy for validation. A father, you’re sure, slamming a door. There’s a suitcase on the floor, between you. You’re not sure who takes ownership over it. There is yelling, a language you don’t recognize. He vibrates, his anger cartoonish. What did you do to deserve this? Are you leaving or is he? You’re older than you were in the car ride. You’re not sure how you know, only that you do. There is no beginning or end, just snippets of the middle. How does this play out, you wonder. You could come up with a story. He’s leaving and you’re trying to stop him. You’re leaving and he’s trying to stop you. You’re not sure which is better. 

There are glimpses of the past. Yours, you assume, though the line between reality and fantasy has long been gone, worn away with time and desperation. A taste of normalcy. You imagine you lived in a small town in the middle of the country, somewhere bleak and boring, somewhere you could have been extraordinary. You imagine a child version of yourself dreaming of this future down to the last detail. You wake up each morning in his bed, in his place, at the top of the tower. For a few cloudy seconds you view this world from the perspective of a stranger: there is an engagement ring on your finger, the space beside you in the bed is empty, the room you occupy is grand and expensive looking. The person who lives here, who found love, who has everything they could ever want, should be happy, right? And then, like a slap across the cheek, stinging, it hits you: you are that person. So why aren’t you happy? Isn’t this what you wanted? Isn’t this what you asked for? Dreamed of? 

The haze ends your first weeks after joining The Seven. Reporters, cameras flashing, overwhelmed by voices and snapshots and microphones. You smile, doing your best to hear a question between the mumbling of the crowds. A hand pulls you through the chaos, leading you to salvation. Safely inside, he laughs, congratulating you. There���s a light in his eyes that is warm, safe. You can’t believe he’s giving you attention, let alone complimenting you. You thank him. He’s there again, behind you, a hand on your shoulder. It was reassuring at the time, a way to show solidarity between veteran and rookie heroes. Your voice shakes, fear and anxiety radiating through you. You’d never had your own press conference before. It was after a big save, though. Everyone stood back, letting you in the limelight. You debuted a new suit, a new identity, letting your name fade away. Even now it sounds alien to you. The person you were and the person you are are disconnected, isolated. It’s been years since you’ve heard someone say it. Hearing it in passing is no longer startling, it no longer grabs your attention. It’s lost all meaning. 

This was years ago. You were still fresh faced. His touch was new, exciting. His affections were innocent, friendly. This world was bright and shiny. It’s lost its excitement. It’s lost its appeal. The warmth in his eyes turned hot, burning, furious. The last time you fought they glowed red, a warning that he was not fucking around. How long ago was that? Weeks, maybe months. You’ve been good. You do as you’re told. You smile when you need to. You kiss him. You pose. You show off your ring. The story was breaking news, running through the cycle the past few days: Homelander popped the question and you said yes! You don’t recognize yourself in the interviews. You don’t recognize him either. You’re happy, laughing easily, talking about wedding plans. The interviewer, a woman with lipstick on her teeth, asks about the future. Oh, you say. The mask slips. You hadn’t thought about the future. Years now you spent getting through the moment, the minute. You didn’t have it in you to think ahead. You couldn’t. You knew what it looked like, what he’d want from you, what you’d have to give up. Not just a name or a past. That was easy. That’s what you thought you wanted. This was a lifetime. A lifetime of fear, threats, and silence. Oh, you say, and it all comes at once, the realizations wrapping their hands around your throat. He squeezes your hand, talking for the both of you, filling the silence like a pro. She turns her attention towards him, recovering quickly. No one even noticed.  It’s better today. You dress. You sit through meetings. You disappear into the background, watching everyone instead of being part of it. You don’t think too much. You’re not overwhelmed by the idea of raising his children, of spending your time secluded with him, in his shadow. You’re not disgusted by the ring on your finger or the way he kisses you. The bruises strategically placed where fabric covers do not ache as bad as they did yesterday. It’s better today. It’s manageable. Ashley goes over the next few weeks: wedding planning, florists, musicians, guests, wardrobe, cake tasting. There was so much, and yet so much was missing. A mother to cry. A father to walk you down the aisle. Friends. She wanted every part of this decision making televised. It would be the wedding of the century. She goes down the list and you only have it in you to nod. Where was Homelander? Why wasn’t he being bombarded by color palettes and types of icing and venues? It wasn’t really up to you, anyways. You could pretend. You could make decisions: a lighter palette by the ocean with raspberry cake and vanilla frosting. You could plan it all, but he would always have final say. She’s still talking, going on and on about how you’ll wear your hair and the amount of cameras, who is and isn’t allowed to drink, but you’re not really listening. You’re sinking back into the chair. You’re taking it one breath at a time. In, out. Maybe there was a before. Before him, before all this, but it’s long gone. From the moment he saw you he knew you would be his. You would do as you were told. You would follow orders. And in return, you would lose yourself. Yeah that sounds good, you say, though you’re not really listening. You’re far away from yourself, the room, the world. It was better today. The weight of what’s happened. The more she speaks, the greater the feeling becomes: dread blossoming in the middle of your chest. You were trapped. You could scream and cry all you wanted, this place was a cage and Homelander held the key. 

[theyanderespecialist]

(Remake) Base Yandere Vox Headcanons: Go Big or Go Home (Hazbin Hotel)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! you all DEMANDED Vox and in the last 28 days over 3000 views for the Old VERY Short Vox one I did a long time ago! Now that we have what he will be like in canon! It is time to do a remake! This will be not only on YouTube, but Wattpad, an Archive of our own, and Tumblr! So let's do this! Enjoy this chapter my sexy muffins. 

(Disclaimer: Vox in canon is just as bad as Valentino as he knows what Valentino does and condones it. Even offering to get the lowest earners for Val to pew pew. It is OKAY to simp for the Villains as long as they are fictional, and as long as you do not condone what they do in real or do what they do, and that you do not support their actions! They are fictional and no actual people were hurt by them in REAL LIFE! 

Disclaimer 2: Vox is not yandere in canon, this is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine, just do not be illegal or gross about it! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank you, Enjoy!) 

-Remade Base Yandere Headcanons With Vox From Hazbin Hotel-

.Vox is a businessman at his very core. He is a very good one at that. 

.He is also an overlord and wants to become even more powerful and stronger. 

.He fell for you right away and made you his assistant. 

.That way he can control you as much as he can, cause man oh man is this man manipulative. 

.With you he manipulates you to make sure you never leave his side and that you are always at his beck and call. 

.He is very demanding of your attention, he has to have it on him as much as possible. 

.He despises when you pay attention to others, he is the only one you should look at. 

.The only one that makes you smile, the only one to make you laugh, HE HAS TO BE YOUR ONE AND ONLY. 

.He may very slightly share you with Val, but he is for SURE Going to be the one to marry you! 

.He will have you wear sexy little work outfits, if females with those nice pencil skirts that grab all your curves and or muscles. 

.He loves to have you bend over in front of him (I bet he is an ass man~) to pick something up, he is so checking out your ass. 

.He has the biggest ego of any yandere I have done from Hazbin Hotel. So of course he will KNOW that he is the best suitor for you. 

.Why would you want anyone lower than him when you can have one of the Vees, maybe two if he shares you with Val? 

.Also he would so see you as a trophy spouse. 

.The pretty little thing he takes to parties and shows off as a prize. 

.He is also very touchy-feely with you. 

.hand holding, kissing, groping, hair stroking, and of course lots of sex 

.He loves to touch and make love to you, and he cannot get enough of it. 

.He surprisingly does not want to use his mind-controlling powers over you. 

.He will use them as a very last resort. He does not want to force you in that way. 

.He may slip and try it, but he rather not do it to you! 

(Similar to how he almost used it on Val in episode 2 but how he stopped himself) 

. The only times he does use it on you is to make you hate someone. 

.So that way you will never want to leave him.

.Not to force you to like him but to force you to hate anyone you ever got feelings for that was not him or Val. 

.He does have an angry side as a yandere that is for sure. 

.Being the very jealous type of yandere, he hates when you show interest in others, praise others, or give any attention to others. 

.He also would DESPISE if you enjoyed Alastor's radio show. 

.That is absolutely forbidden! There will be no ADMIRING That Fossile! 

.He is also a very petty yandere! 

.He is so aggressively petty when it comes to you like others. He gets super pouty and very passive-aggressive. 

.He can be a bit of a brat when it comes to your attention fr fr! 

.He also has such daddy energy! (WE ALL SAW IT With him acting like a football dad watching alastor get beat by Adam, he legit acted like his team was winning in sportsball) 

.So he does take a firm hand with you to make you stay in line and are his good little darling 

.He would deal with rivals by mainly hypnotizing them to not like you, and stay away from you. 

.But if he is extra pissed off enough he will torture them and make a public example of it as well! 

.He makes it clear to all of hell that you are his and his alone, no one else can have you. 

.His confession of his love to you, will be a grand moment. (Most likely he will have it on live TV) 

.He is so confident that you will say yes! 

.If you do say yes, he is over the moon and is riding the high of finally having you for months! 

.If you say no, the audio and visual are cut and he grabs you by the arm. Shouting at you of how dare you humiliate him like that! 

.He then will force a kiss on you and make you his, he is going to teach you that you never say no to him. 

.If that does not work he will use his mind control powers to make you love him. 

.He did not want to do it, but you forced his hand! 

.Side note he is also the go big or go home type of yandere. 

.In which he will go big with his love for you. 

.He also will very much be a sugar daddy type of yandere. 

.You are his and he is going spoil you. 

.He is Very much buying your love. 

.AND VERY CONTROLLING 

.As his partner and his future spouse you have to uphold his brand and his image, you are his darling and he is not going to have you looking cheap. 

.So be ready to be spoiled and more or less forced to be in his style. 

.He does adore you and can be super sweet and affectionate with you. 

.Again he may share you with Val so be ready for that! 

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter is done I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and stay sexy all of my sexy muffins!] 

[ronearoundblindly]

I N R

For either Ransom or Jake

- 👜 (because I couldn't help myself 😘)

From this ask game.

Eeeeeeee, Jakey! I haven't gotten to think about Jake Jensen in a while. Yay!! Horny little bastard...

These are called 'dirty asks' for a reason, so MINORS DNI, please.

I - Impact Play

My gut feeling is that Jake talks a good game with toys and the like, but he's a real skin-to-skin man. I bet he's fine with spanking (although I guarantee you have to say the words "you can go harder" at some point 🙄), and after a whole lot of reassurances he might be fine with a slap or something. I don't see him getting much enjoyment out of using a tool (crop, whip, flogger, etc) though.

However, he would be open to them being used on him--just don't expect him to keep a straight face or not erupt into giggles while running away. That shit he would find plain hysterical. Spank that boy once, he will laugh for a thousand years... 🤣 bless.

N - Not Yet

He has an absolute love-hate relationship with control. Boy has pure switch energy, if you know what I mean, so while I don't see him having preference to delay or deny the natural flow of sex--do what feels good, babe, he's down--there might be times it feels appropriate. Like if he knows you two have unlimited time together, he will prolong activities as best he can. I will say, this dude enjoys the hell out of making you come; that's a whole ego boost thing. He is not likely to stop you...he'll just make you come again if necessary.

Interestingly enough, Jake may not have any desire to order you around in bed, but he fucking loves attempting to order you around the house. He playfully insists you not snack because he wants you to be hungry for the dinner he's taking you out to, or he doesn't want you to get off his lap yet or stop cuddling on the couch, so, nope, you'll have to hold it. No bathroom break. Sorry.

That's a two-way street though because he's fine being reminded/told the same things.

R - Routine

Without fail, if you try to schedule sexy times with Jake Jensen, that mother fucker wants to nap instead.

He cannot ever preemptively be told when to perform. Just complete shit at it. What a fucking loser in this area. Spontaneous or it ain't happening.

But--BUT!--that doesn't mean you can't secretly decide that it's gonna happen at a certain time; he just can't know that it's planned. You gotta seduce him. He likes to be seduced. He loves for it to seem like there's a bunch of other things he should be doing but instead you just really need him right now. Gah, does he love that.

Don't ever goddamn put it on a calendar or something though. Then you're not fucked. The calendar is for chores, and if that man feels like a chore?? No boners for you. Uh-uh.

And before you ask, yes, he has actually gotten visibly upset by being 'penciled in' for sex. Whole argument. Cold-shoulder silent treatment for the night. Slept on the couch. Upset. He didn't cry, but his face got super red and he kept taking off his glasses to pinch his eyes.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

🤣💀🥰

[ino-takumas-baggy-sweater]

A Second Chance, A Father's Curse - Part 6 (Ryomen Sukuna x Reader)

This is a bit longer than usual because it took me a while to find a stopping point that I felt made sense, but I'm really excited to keep writing this series, after all it's only just beginning! Thanks for your patience :)

Part 5 here

Warnings: None

Word count: 3.9k

“Mustard leaf,” The small murmur makes you look up from your desk. You hadn’t even heard the door open, but in front of you stands your man-of-little-words royal advisor. He tilts his head, his question remaining wordless, and you sigh, “Good morning Inumaki, no I am not alright, but I suppose it’s partially my fault so I have no right to complain,”

He frowns and pulls a chair up, resting his elbows on the desk, “Salmon,” He encourages you softly, “Salmon salmon,” You take that as encouragement to speak up about your woes and so you put down your pencil, “I can feel him out there,” You murmur.

“I can feel his pain clearly now, I can feel how uncomfortable he still is here, he pretends for my sake but I wish he would tell me what he wants,” Inumaki pulls a blank sheet of paper and borrows your pencil, scrawling something quickly. News of his father?

You shake your head, “Nothing so far, but the coronation is in a few days…” You trail off, rubbing the scar on your cheek, “It seems his paranoia has rubbed off on me, I haven’t slept well since this happened,” You gesture to the thin line of crudely healed skin. He taps his masked chin with the tip of the pencil before writing something else: My technique, help you sleep?

Seriously contemplating it for a second you get lost in the idea of finally getting a full night of rest but you shake your head, “As much as I’d appreciate the help, I can’t risk not being of right mind if something does happen, I need to be able to lead my people especially this close to the coronation,”

“Bonito flakes,” He grumbles, pushing the paper towards you again. You cannot lead on no sleep. “He’s right, you need sleep my lady,” Gojo’s voice rings out from the doorway, which you once again hadn’t heard open.

“What are you doing here? What happened at the training session?” You ask quickly, pushing to your feet and stepping around the desk towards him. He pushes his hood back, adjusting the blindfold over his eyes and dipping his head respectfully, “Ryomen is incredibly strong, and more than willing to learn, but occasionally I have noticed that he struggles with internal conflicts. I don’t know if this is some remnant curse placed on him by his father or if this is just his lingering discomfort,”

You look back out the window past your desk, leaning your hands on the old cherry wood as you sigh. “Your highness,” Gojo says, “I have reason to believe that Ryomen’s bloodline, on his mother’s side, was incredibly powerful. Maybe even more so than his father,” You clench your hands into fists, trying to control your breathing.

You’d brought him here, if he turned out to be a threat it would be your fault. But… he’d been so willing, so pliable. Maybe even too pliable. You’d never wanted control of him, you’d only wanted to save him from his father.

His damned father, seemingly the root cause of all of this. “Jin Itadori doesn’t have a recorded domain expansion, but Ryomen is strong enough that there is no doubt he does, maybe even one without a barrier,” This makes you look back at the blindfolded sorcerer, your blood going cold, “…What did you just say?”

It’s not as if you’d doubted it for a second, from the moment you met him you knew deep down he must’ve had a domain, whether he knew it or not. Heck, you had one and you aren’t even half as powerful as he is.

“Mustard leaves!” Inumaki exclaims towards Gojo, before grabbing your hand and making you look to him instead of getting lost in your thoughts, “Salmon, salmon,” He emphasises the positive affirmation of his linguistic range, “Tuna,” He grabs the paper again and shows it to you.

Do you trust him? You look up into his purple eyes, slowly shaking your head, “I don’t know, I don’t know, can I anymore?” You whisper, “What is his domain? What is his technique?” You ask Gojo. “We… haven’t figured that out yet, in fact he doesn’t even know that I’m here, I came here to talk to you while he spars hand-to-hand with Geto,”

Your shoulders droop again at the mention of your personal guard, “I still need to apologise to him,” You murmur. “You did nothing wrong,” Inumaki’s voice is a bit hoarse and hesitant, but there’s no chance that sentence could affect you in any way despite the soft wave of cursed energy that washes over your ears, “He should apologise,”

Gojo slaps a hand over his mouth and Inumaki apologises quickly before falling quiet again. “Sorry your highness!” Gojo blurts, before poking his tongue out, “Blegh! God I hate when you do that,” Inumaki grumbles wordlessly and folds his arms, making you smile slightly at the mishap, “Gojo will you fetch Geto for me? Tell him I need to speak with him,”

He nods, “Oh, and let Ryomen know he’s free to sleep in the castle tonight if he wishes, I know how cold the sorcerer tower can be, I’ll have the maids prepare the room across the hall,” You bite your thumbnail a little, “I… I think?” “You think?” He raises a snowy eyebrow, half turned to leave. “I…” You shake your head, “Yes, tell him that, Inumaki will you tell my maids to prepare the room opposite mine?”

Your advisor nods, writing the instruction on a separate piece of paper before the two men leave, allowing you to slump back into your chair. You pick up the pencil again and scrawl down a quick note addressed to your husband detailing first an apology, then your wish for him to become accustomed to Iqoria in his own time, and finally informing him that your decision was not made without hesitation and anxiety, but you need him to come to you when he is ready and you will no longer command him if he doesn’t wish to be commanded.

Once the letter is finished there is a knock at the door and you sign it, “Come in,” You look up at Geto who looks nervous, something you hate seeing on his face particularly because he’s been your rock for almost your entire life. A second older brother, a guardian, someone you can lean on. Now he looks like a scared dog, hackles raised, a cut on his cheek matching your own.

“You wished to see me your highness?” You screw your eyes shut for a moment, rubbing your forehead to try and rid yourself of the memories of your bloody nightgown, “Yes, please sit down,” You gesture to the chair Inumaki left behind.

He moves to sit, keeping his hands neatly folded in his lap as you look up to him. A drop of blood trails down his cheek and he scrunches his nose slightly, trying to ignore it as you quietly watch him. You reach over the desk and wipe your thumb over the cut, feeling him flinch slightly as your energy stings the wound, sealing it up neatly.

It won’t scar, not like yours has. “Suguru,” You murmur, bringing your arm back to your body, his blood drying and making the tip of your thumb slightly tacky. “Your highness,” He breathes, refusing to meet your gaze, “You have my sincerest apologies for the way I have been acting since the ball in Khoccadia,”

You hadn’t summoned him here for this, but you know he needs it so you allow him to continue.

“I… Forgive me for overstepping but you are my sister, not by blood but by soul, and… and I don’t want to lose you. The prince is powerful, more powerful than anyone I’ve ever met before, and if I can’t protect you from him if the need arises then what use am I?” You can sense his frustration, he stands and starts pacing the room, his strides long as he flexes his knuckles.

After he does a few laps of the room he takes a deep breath, “Your highness, please say something,” He whispers.

“Y/n,” You reply softly, “Suguru, it’s always just been Y/n for you,” A tear slips down his cheek through the smear of blood, leaving a clean trail, “Our societal standings would say the opposite,” You shake your head, “This isn’t the ancient times, Suguru, you grew up alongside me,” You stand up, smoothing out your skirts, “Though we quarrel now and then, I don’t want to stop being able to trust you. I want to be able to look to you if I need a shoulder,”

Though you don’t move around the desk to him, he still dips his head slightly at your words, “I accept your apology, and would like to extend my own, in the hopes that when Ryomen’s discipline training is complete you will return to your post as my personal guard, renewed and stronger than ever,”

You see his shoulders stiffen slightly and he looks back up into your eyes, searching for something within them, “You… still want me to protect you?” You nod, “Of course you will have the help you always have had from the other guards, but I need you Suguru,” You say simply, “I am to be Queen, and the Queen chooses her guard, does she not? Who better than the Captain himself?”

He nods, “Yes, she does, thank you for your kindness princess,” He whispers as if he still doesn’t believe it. You nod, satisfied with how the meeting has gone, “Now, the coronation is in three days and I expect you and your guards to be looking their best, understood Captain?”

He nods, his smile returning softly, “I will make sure of it,” “Go then, and take my blessings and well-wishes for the guards with you,” He sweeps out of the room with renewed confidence, but yours is only crushed more so. With a wave of your hand the door is pulled shut by one of the guards outside and you sit heavily back in your chair, rubbing your temples with fingers sore from writing all day.

A few rogue thoughts cross your mind and you find yourself wishing for company, but loathing the idea of conversation. You don’t know who you would call to talk anyway. Ryomen doesn’t want to be around you right now, you sent Inumaki away, Shoko would just tell you about your parents and even your maids have become closed off in the wake of your brother’s death.

Perhaps they fear that you’ll become harsher upon your ascension to the throne, but what good would that serve you? Turning your own people against you would be a foolish move, especially now.

Your mind begins to wander amongst a dark forest of thoughts and questions you’re not even sure you want the answers to. Why was Ryomen so powerful? Who was his mother? Why do you feel so drawn to him? And why can’t you shake the sickening feeling that something awful is happening beyond the city walls?

His father, of course, must be rallying his forces to march on your kingdom. This you’re sure of, you didn’t personally meet the man but you could tell just by looking at him that he doesn’t play by halves. No, there’s something else, something just beyond your sight that you can’t put your finger on.

You scribble another letter, marking it with the royal seal, before leaving the room with your head held high, both letters clutched in your hands. The first, detailing a search mission, you give to Gojo’s apprentice Yuta Okkotsu, equally strong to his teacher and loyal beyond mortal ties. The second, addressed to your husband, you ask Yuta to deliver before he leaves as you don’t know which room Ryomen will seek refuge in tonight.

~

“You didn’t think I’d just let you leave, right?” A voice pierces the darkness and a form melts from the shadows. It’s Megumi, and Choso puts himself between the Shikigami user and his brothers, “Not without a fight it seems,” The man growls, his hands clenched as he summons his energy.

Thanks to his father’s experiments Choso is no longer human, cursed with his father’s ambitions and his toxic pride he finds himself unable to die from his own technique, a form of extensive blood manipulation that hasn’t been seen for many centuries. He knows he must reveal this trump card to his brothers if he wishes for them to escape, but before he has the chance to make a move Megumi steps fully into the light, brushing a few stray hairs from his face.

“Come on, your dad will be able to sense us going, if we want to get out it has to be quick,” Choso hears Yuji sigh with relief behind him and he reluctantly lowers his guard, “You’re not here to stop us?” “Look I ran away from one awful family, I’m not about to stop you from running from another, in fact I’d much rather go with you,”

Kechizu shifts on Yuji’s back, “Is that Megumi?” He asks quietly, “Is he coming with us?” “Yes, yes he is,” Yuji murmurs, “But we have to go now,” The group makes their way under the protection of Megumi’s shadows to the stables, where they take no more than three horses and ride out into the night, Eso sharing with Choso and Kechizu still clinging to Yuji.

Megumi out the front leads with Nue high in the sky, keeping watch behind. They stay off the main roads, barely able to see Nue above through the trees but following behind Megumi’s confident form as he pushes a path through the underbrush on his black stallion.

They ride well into the morning as Nue calls out every so often, warning them of travellers or hunting parties, but none are so foolish as to stray from the path and stumble into the runaways.

“We will reach the Creyarean district by midday, I recommend we stop there to eat and then continue on, if you wish to reach Iqoria as close to the coronation as possible we cannot waste time,” Megumi informs the group as he drops back slightly, “Does your brother know you’re coming?”

Choso and Yuji exchange a glance, “He doesn’t,” Eso answers for them, “But… but he won’t send us away, will he?” He looks to Choso, “He might be mean but he loves us, right?” Choso finds he cannot reply, only nodding to the fifteen-year-old. Eso and Kechizu are so small for their age, both sharing Choso’s technique which came from a close family of lords they were related to distantly by blood, but Yuji inherited an ancient family technique from their mother’s side instead.

Ryomen had ended up with a deadly combination of Jin Itadori’s technique and something he’d never revealed to them from his mother, something that amplified his power beyond safe limits and had driven Jin Itadori to curse the castle with a powerful suppression technique. It had taken a toll on the five boys, Ryomen the least, and weakened them all so much that Choso found he couldn’t perform his duties or attend to his studies to their fullest.

Now that they were free, now that they were gone, Choso could feel the cursed energy surging through his body, could feel his connection to his brothers through their blood clear as the sun shining above. It also meant he could reach out and sense Ryomen in the mist, more shrouded than the other three because of their different lineage, but still there. Still alive.

He didn’t know if he was comforted by the knowledge, but it certainly made him feel better to be able to sense all of his brothers again. “You stay here, I’ll go and get food from the market,” Megumi breaks into Choso’s thoughts as they approach the edge of the outer Creyarean district. “You can’t go in there alone-!” Yuji exclaims, but Megumi shoots him a glare.

“You two stand out too much,” He looks between Yuji and Choso, “And we can’t leave Eso and Kechizu on their own, just stay here,” He urges his horse towards the buildings, “If you see Nue without me, ride like the wind for Iqoria and don’t look back, once you’re inside their borders you should be safe,”

None of the boys liked that answer, that meant leaving Megumi behind in an unfamiliar place with people who more than likely wanted to kill him for assisting their escape. Once the Captain is gone, Yuji looks at Choso, “We’re not leaving him behind,” He grunts, “I don’t care if you’re older, this is non-negotiable,”

“If we’re not leaving Megumi behind, then we’re sending Eso and Kechizu on without us,” Choso shoots back, standing his ground, “They’re still not strong enough to help us,” “We’re strong!” Eso complains, but Choso shoots him a look, “Kechizu cannot navigate the world unaided as of right now, and you can barely control your technique, you’re no match on a battlefield with experienced fighters, understand?”

Eso slumps down onto his butt, Kechizu shuffling until he’s sat nestled against his brother’s side, “Just… be careful,” Kechizu murmurs, looking up in Choso’s direction with his black eyes, “Please big brother,” The black haired prince clenches his fists, gritting his teeth, “I would tear apart the heavens and the earth to keep you all safe, careful comes second, that is my non-negotiable,”

~

Nothing in this world can prepare you for the overwhelming loneliness of your bed inevitably being empty tonight. Despite the fact it has been a few days since you liberated Ryomen from his cage at your side, you felt even less prepared to return to your chambers where you know the sheets will remain cold even with the fire in the fireplace set to burn until the morning.

So its at your desk you remain, the dying light of the sun at your back not serving as distraction enough to make you raise your head. You’ve been reading up on old coronation customs, reading the literary accounts of your mother’s coronation and looking through the designs you chose for the day itself.

From your dress, the flower arrangements, jewellery and most importantly the tiara which will serve as your unique ‘casual’ diadem separate from the official state crown. Your mother had a hand in designing it, you could tell from the ways in which it would inevitably complement your features such as your face shape and hair type.

After signing a few official documents regarding civilian movement and protection orders, you lean back in your chair, slipping your feet out of your comfortable heels and tucking your knees up to your chest. It can get so daunting in the endless quiet, the stone floor of the castle layered with thick carpet dampening almost every sound and making you feel isolated.

Minutes pass and you eventually curl up, the chair big enough to support you sitting sideways pretty comfortably, resting your head and taking in the details of your skirts. Maybe you could go to Geto, but would he welcome you with open arms or do you still need to regain his loyalty? Inumaki is a no, you’ll just be tempted to ask him to put you to sleep.

“My lady?” A voice beyond the door calls for you and you look up, inviting them in. It’s one of the guards stationed at the door, her face young but downturned with worry, “Do you wish for us to accompany you to your chambers?” She asks.

You stay quiet for a few moments before sighing, “I do not wish to return to the emptiness of my rooms, but if I must then I will,” She smiles softly, “Surely you do not intend to sleep in here my lady?” You smile sadly in return, “In fact that is exactly what I was intending,” After a few moments where the guard shifts awkwardly, unsure of what to say, she bows her head.

“Come, allow us to accompany you to your rooms, it will be much more comfortable despite the emptiness,” Eventually you stand, leaning down and grabbing your shoes so you don’t have to put them back on, “Lead the way then ma’am,” You gesture with an arm and the pair of them, the other a middle-aged gentleman, guide you unobstructed through the halls back to your room.

You’ve been unable to look at the bedsheets without seeing flashes of blood, feeling twinges of phantom pain in your cheek, “Will you be alright?” The female guard asks you, her hand resting on the doorknob as you stand just inside, thinking deeply. You look back to her, “Yes, I think I will be, will you send for Shoko? I want to see if she can do anything about this scar,” You gesture to your face.

With a nod, the door swings shut and you’re alone once more. This is what you dreaded, being left with only your thoughts for company, but you decide to passively fight back by quickly drawing a bath for yourself to cleanse your mind. The warmth envelops your body and you sigh, slouching down until just your head is above water. The foetal position becomes your safe space, your ankles crossed and legs hugged tightly to your chest.

It’s not long before you doze off, the weight of the day finally pushing you under as you go back over everything, making sure you didn’t forget anything important. “Your highness?” A call from your room rouses you from your drowsy state. You’re irritated for a few seconds before you remember you called for Shoko, “In here,” You grumble.

“Your guards said you wanted to see me about the scar?” She asks as she comes into the bathroom, moving until she’s sat beside the bathtub on the floor, “Is it bothering you?” You reach up to it, bringing your hand out of the water and running your fingers over where you know it lies, “Not visually, but it stings from time to time,” You explain, “Can you get rid of it?”

She nods, “It’s also probably a good idea because it cuts through one of your tattoos,” She murmurs, examining it a little closer as she leans over the tub, the ends of her hair draping into the water and getting wet. Her thumb passes over your cheek and though you feel nothing, she nods to herself, “There, now you’ll be perfect for coronation day,” She blinks drowsily, “Any news from Khoccadia?”

You shake your head, “I wish he would just do something, I hate waiting, every passing day is another day that my people are threatened by an enemy I cannot strike first,” You sigh, leaning your head back, “Will you pass me a towel?” She stands up and grabs one of the fluffy white towels on the shelf nearby, leaving it at the edge of the bath for you to grab, “Will you be needing your maids?”

You shake your head, “As much as the silence is killing my morale, I need to be alone,” You scoop some water and rub it into your face a little, “I’ll be alright, go get some sleep yourself,”

She leaves, and you spend a good few minutes crying. At least this way nobody will be able to tell when you get out of the bath, or tomorrow morning when you wake up.

Where are you when I need you the most?

Where is anyone when I need them?

~

It’s only a matter of time.

After all, we have him now.

We have everything we need to topple the thrones of man.

“This is going to be fun!”

I hope you're all enjoying it so far :) much love

Part 7

Taglist: @love-jelly @nousija

[sea-of-dust]

Till it becomes a pumpkin

Yuta Maki Inumaki x Gn! Reader

Summary: part one of the tamaki s/o series this one ant for my moots its for me 😻

Notes: the reader will be referred to as boss sometimes. Reader has a curse technique to suppress certain things and extends this ability to objects. Little Halloween snit bit at the end of eatch one. IM SORRY IM A DAY LATE.

Warnings: swearing, pretty long headcannons, not proofread some parts im half asleep.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

When he joined jujitsu high, you had this werid welcoming feeling about you. He couldn't put his finger on it...that was till you,Inumaki and Panda cornered him. "As your classmate I cannot stand by and watch you suffer" you pull out two hairclips "please hold still" utterly confused yet letting it happen you carefully put the hair clips on. "Rika didn't come out..." "that just means my cursed technique is as amazing as ever" "Bonito flakes" "Shut up inumaki" you pull out a mirror showing him the hairclips in his hair. "It only suppresses Rikas will to attack people you consider allies, only take it off when you feel you have full control"

He stuck around you more than anyone else there, sometimes hiding behind you. "Wait till he realizes you can barely flight" "keep talking and I'm going to suppress your hairline into next week" you held Yutas hand with that same welcoming warm presence. "You'll be fine" Even when he got to know you all better he still stuck by you and inumaki the most.

"You're so cute Yuta!!" Is something mostly everyone's heard for the past year, you'll never stop showering him with praise and affection for the most minor things. "You're into him" "PFTTT please yutas my best friend plus he's always so gloomy I'm only trying to cheer him up" "Bonito flakes" "I swear to god Inumaki" "you're into him!!" Panda walks back to Yuta and then to you "you have a fat chance!" "STOP WITH THE STUPID POSE" thank god he somehow didn't hear half of that conversation

He did try to confess to you...multiple times. "So I was thinking we could go out sometime" "oh? So you finally proposed a spot?" "I really like you y/n" "I like you too Yuta!" "Really?" "Yea you're my friend!" He'd never correct you thinking you were just avoiding the topic when in reality you just never got it. Until most of your friends called you out on it. "I don't know he just seems more glum than usual" you pause looking up when two figures hover over you "has anything happened over those few days" "well...he said he liked me and that he wanted to go out" your friends stare in shocked silence. "What?" One of them finishes up a few pencil strokes "have you considered the fact he has a crush on you" your eyes widen at the thought. "WAIT HE DOES?!" "You tone deaf idiot" and so they set up a plan to isolate both of you from the rest. "Turn em down like him back I don't care" as soon as the door locks you sigh lightly "Yuta...do you have a crush on me" his eyes widen with his cheeks turning pink. "Why would you think that" "you lock arms with me alot you say things that kinda flew over my head at first and" he shushes you quickly avoiding eye contact, moving his hand off your mouth as you begin to speak up. "I love you too Okkotsu" you could have sworn you saw his heart skip a beat "are you serious?" "I wouldn't joke with someone's feelings, especially yours" you could have sworn he was on the brink of tears watching him walk up to you, gripping you waist tightly and hiding his face in your chest. As soon as you pat his head the waterworks flow. "There there Yuta" hugging him back gently you let him cry into your chest

"Sooo who's the lucky lad boss" "I'm not telling you" "you don't have to he's your lock screen" "WHEN DID YOU GET MY PHONE" you link arms with your friend "MAKE THEM STOP PLEASEEE" "I would but this Yuta person has me intrigued aswell" "...you can't be serious" "were very serious, we should share cake with him!" "..oh no" they did meet him sadly and found out how easy it was to fluster him. "So how's the boss like around you" "eh?!" "Do they not treat you differently at all" Yuta hesitantly takes a bite of cake "now that you mention it they do hug me more often" your friend stares at him narrowing his eyes watching Yuta flush up. "Something tells me boss kisses you before bed too" "HUH?!?" "Knew it cross it off bingo!" "I got a cross already" "I already filled mine" "dammit"

He probably has a bingo too with how open he is to showing pda. Hugs from behind that feel like he's trying to be as close to you as humanely possible, whispering into your ear small little things he wanted to do later, kissing you suddenly but somewhere private, and the free space casually calling you "honey or babe" infront of everyone but Gojo. This is mostly how your friend group outside of school found out about the people you go to school with. "So you're here for the bingo of your life huh?" "First one to fill their board wins" "you're on" turns out Yuta was the one everyone got bingo on first.

This is also why you two mostly go on dates in the night. "Pst yuta yutaa" he rolls over "pookie" "NO NOT AGAIN oh-" sitting up suddenly he sees you at his window "WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!" "No time to explain I wanna take you somewhere" "where?" "A surprise" you lead him out the window to a small hill sitting down on the grass. "Wait for it" he does only looking at you though until you suddenly point at the sky, his eyes widen as stars begin to fall not noticing when his head lands on your shoulders. "I'm sorry I heard the news and didn't wanna be the only one to see it" his hand reaches for yours while he watches the stars. "I just wanted to show you this then we'll be off" "then let's stay a while" he moves a bit closer "but you can barely keep your eyes open" he hugs you suddenly "then let's stay till I fall asleep" you only hum in response you two watching the stars together.

You two couldn't be separated even for two secounds. Of course if it was for a mission you'd be understanding but that wasn't gonna stop you from your u.f.o accusations. "HES BEEN TAKEN GET THE HELICOTPER I BEG OF YOU" "Why do you have one at the ready? But relax he's in Africa for a mission" "of course.." "nothing to worry about" as soon as maki tried to hang up "ALIENS KIDNAPED EM AND NOW THEYRE KEEPING HIM IN AFRICA" "HES FINE CALM DOWN" she sighs into the mic "listen..Yuta is gonna come back he'll be fine mostly unharmed now please go back to sleep" she hears a sniffle on the other line "thank you Maki" didn't stop you for nearly losing all energy and barely able to perform starlight kicks "Boss what was that?" "Starlight kick more like bummy poke" they're waiting for the random rain so you can reach maximum dramatic. "I know you two text everyday but if you miss him call him" "you cake devouring monster what a great idea!" You call him near instantly and suddenly your emo arc is over. Wait till you learn Yutas been the same way while away.

As soon as he gets back you do almost instantly notice his change in demeanor. More confidently standing infront of you and smiling warmly. "Yuta..." "yes?" "YOURE SO CUTE HOW COULD ANYONE BE INTIMADATED YOURE LIKE A PUPPY" that demeanor instantly broken by how you showered him with adoration. "Super soft too" you hug him for a long while everyone coulda sworn that guy turned a new shade of red just because of you. "And you took off the hairclips I'm so proud of you Yuta" you hold his head to your chest hugging him close not noticing just how flustered he is yet happy to be by your side. "That reminds me" you feel Two objects clip to your hair with him showing the same hairclips you gave when you first met him. "They look nice on you" giggling softly he takes a picture of your confused face. "DONT TURN THIS ON ME YOURE WAY CUTER WITH THESE ON" "I don't need em anymore!" "I don't care put em back on!!"

"Close your eyes and" Click, as soon as that's heard a bunch of lights and decoration were turned on. "It looks amazing Yuta I can't thank you enough" "don't mention it" "I will mention the cutiest Halloween decorator in the world!" You cup his cheeks ready to give him a small kiss. "Ew cut it out" "what if kids see" "you two need to get a life" they both shake their head in unison "simp" "oh my god" "they just came to remind you we had a party at the school" one of your friends hand you a flyer "yes I know I was just about to leave my candy bucket out" "that's not the problem" your friend looks at Yuta "where's his costume?" Your eyes widen at this realization. "...I'll be right back" you drag him inside quickly opening your drawer of make-up "when did you have this?" "You doubt how many times people ask for either a pad or makeup, always prepare for everything!" You run around gathering things while panicking and looking back at him only to get some of the best smiles in modern day. "Yuta don't look at me like that it's making me wanna give you dog ears" he turns away hearing tou ravange your closet when finally you settle on an outfit for him. "Here here we don't have time put it on I beg of you" "you think boss is going through hell up there" "have faith in y/n if they can manage to make probably criminals into club memmbers well be ok" they all look at their rabbit loving friend. "What?" "AHHHHHHHH" "that's bosses "I SAW SOMETHING WAYYY TOO GOOD THE TWINS SHOULD DO SOME DIGGING AND MAKE FUN OF EM SCREAM" "you're adorable" your on the brink of tears looking at him after putting on the outfit "the most handsome phantom I've ever seen" "are you sure-" "I'm very sure I'll just have to change my outfit last minute but" you sit him back down grabbing your eye liner "please hold still this shouldn't be long" "oh no please take your time" the same guy enjoying how close your chest was to him watching your eyes narrow as you figure out what to do. It's a great view on his end. Unfortunately, you finish quickly with you quickly changing to match him. "Alright lets-" you were stopped by him hugging you tight placing kisses all over your face. "I couldn't pass up this chance for the world" he kisses you again "you're gonna ruin your make-up Yuta" you avoid eye contact "I don't mind if it means you get to cup my face more" "Yuta!" You walk downstairs with him with the others. "Alright dearest" "blerg" "Shut up, anyway let's go win that contest" "that you're suddenly interested in" "Why yes since I have the best partner for it ever there's no wa-" your friend shushes you casually throwing you and Yuta into the car you all shared "lets go before they start monologing" "YEAAA"

She wonders why you don't use a ball instead of those needles for weapons... Because while you were playing with friends outside of school all she heard was "IVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU TWO, STARLIGHT KIIIIIICK" and a few secounds later she got knocked out cold. Woke up in your bedroom with you crying next to her. "MAKI YOURE AWAKE!!" "What the hell happened" "you were hit with bosses starlight kick" "it was for them! I didn't mean to hit you!" Sincere sounding enough didn't save you from her attempting to train with you.

"It's either you teach me that kick or we train together for a week" "please don't ive seen what you've done to Yuta" you did attempt to teach her your kick and it mostly failed miserably, didn't stop you from suddenly getting determined to try harder. "Welp looks like you're training with me" you move her leg a bit "try kicking it now and with wind up" "ok?" "And kick it like Panda made a weird comment about you" she performed a starlight kick flawlessly at that momment. You cheered watching that ball go into orbit while maki grumbled under her breath. "That was amazing Maki!" "First try too" She always seemed to come up to you more often to flex her achievements just so you could stroke her pride a bit.

You even spoke about her outside of jujitsu tech. "Boss is into people that would most likely step on em. As usual they're always this werid" "CUT IT OUT YOU TWO, Makis super cool though you'll love her!" Little to say they did love her, so much she's basically apart of your friend group outside of school now. They're debating on making her the new vice prez to witch you friend did NOT approve to say the least. "Atleast she won't take pictures of us while asleep" "actually I have them while most of you were awake and those have been selling better than the sleeping ones suggest you get better sheets" "Awe man" "wadya mean awe man he just confessed to having cameras in our houses" "unless you wanna sell them for free" there's a long silence. "I don't think we should demote em guys" "yea totally not illegal im blind" "bliinndddd" three of you say in unison

She does like dragging you around to do stuff with her. "Y/n!" "Yea!" "Lets go to the supermarket together" "what could be waiting for us there-" "instant coffee" "SAY NO MORE" you do this happy go lucky little dance whenever you drink it even though she finds it childish it is pretty fun watching you enjoy instant coffee. "Thank you Maki I'm gonna drink the entire box" "save some for me" "maybe" "wadya mean maybe?" She did have to hide any mention of instant coffee around you.

The twins use her to mess with you, knowing to exploit your totally not obvious crush on her. "Hey boss wanna play" "I'm busy right now" "shame I guess we'll just have to plan our wedding with Maki then" you turn your head around almost like an owl as soon as maki and marry were in the same sentence. "I'll play" your voice suddenly more threatening and low as the twins shrug "alright then-"

She did like being around you alot, that changed from like to loved the day you hugged her when she got back from a mission. "MAKI!" no time for her to respond she braced for impact, not expecting a quick yet tight hug from behind. "I missed you a bit" "seems like more than a bit" you huff softly "I..." You tighten your grip even more "just had a bad feeling atleast I was wrong" sighing she pushes you off "you're gonna crush my ribs" "OH-" You let go of her backing up "I'm glad you're ok Maki" she couldn't sleep after hearing those words, you're the worst for saying that you owe her!

So she makes it her mission to ask you out. Shouldn't be that hard except she doesn't know how to put it. "Oh so you're trying to ask out y/n" the twins giggle "don't worry we got you covered" your friend pushes up his glasses before him and the twins get to work "remmber Wednesday by their window and be there by sundown" the twins smirk while your friend finishes up the thing he was scribbling. "Put this in their mail" "Sure thing!" She did what she was told opening your window to see you turned around "Maki, I must confess this is kinda...unlike you" "wadya mean?" You give her the note "IM IN LOVE LOVE. EVRYTIME I LOOK AT YOU IT FEELS LIKE MY HEART BEATS OUTTA MY CHEST PLEASE MARRY ME!!" That's all she got through before crumbling it "im gonna end em" letting her in from the window and closing it. "They usually do that thinking they'll help, they're not very good at love notes" you cringe remembering one of them, looking to see Makis embrassed expression. "So they tricked me" "I mean they got your message across" laughing softly she narrows her eyes walking closer "I like you, go out with me" "so straight foward" she looked at you seriously "I love you aswell if it wasn't odvious" sighing she hugs you hesitantly.

She won't be lovey dovey in public she mostly hides it, infact you didn't even know she had a crush on you till she told you. Won't stop her from bluntly declaring it. "Soo" the twins stare at you two walking in, you not sure how Maki will feel about it decide not to say anything, fortunately for you she smirks "we're dating" everyone stops in their tracks before an uproar of "WOOAAAHAHAHHAAHHAHH"'s were heard. The clubroom sounded like a frat house. "Congrats boss!" "CONGRATS Y/N!" The look on one of your fangirls faces were priceless exactly what she aimed for when doing that.

As SOON as you two are alone, it's a different story. "You should kiss me" "you just closed the door maki" your laugh only makes her even more lovesick. "You owe me two now" "so unfair" she's all over you when your alone as if acting on every thought she held off in public. "Maki dial it back-" she kisses your cheek "what scared?" As if teasing you she holds your hands pinning you down "I've been waiting all day for this you know" you go to school the next day looking a bit stunned by thise events that anytime you think of maki you just kinda pause. This happened way too much. Thank god no one figured out why.

She dosent understand why you help people so much its kinda painful to see you walk into odvious traps. Such as the one set up by a newspaper club. "Excuse me you know y/n correct" "yes why?" "Is it true they have a dark side?" She thinks back a bit "you mean the emo phases?" "NO NO not that! The evil dark side kind" she realizes what's going on rather quickly "No matter of fact y/n's a ball of idiotic sunshine" "Maki!!" You shout out to her suddenly "come on! We're about go start the next round without you!" She walks off toward you ignoring further questions from the newspaper club. Unluckily for them they had gotten a surprise visit from the club memmbers aswell as her. "They disbanded? What a shame" "indeed" "you two just pushed up your glasses in sync that was cool" "do it again"

She took you to a haunted house not expecting to carry you the entire time. "AHHHH MAKI A GHOST!" "it's super small tho" "SAVE MEEE" "MAKI!!" As much as she would admit your cute when scared she wasn't gonna let em jumpscsre you like that. "Hold my hand" you blush a bit "oh I cant" "you wanna get outta here?" You grab her hand as she leads you out with ease, almost avoiding all jumlscares. "What about this" she presents to you a small cart. "Now we can't run" "don't worry too hard about it" swallowing your fear temporary you went through the ride with her resting on her shoulder fully admiring the scenery. "Thsnk you for bringing me" "don't mention it" she pinches your cheeks "your reaction to all this is key ya know" "they really are scary!" "One was just a cut out" "still scary!" She laughs softly at that "what?" "Maki protect me!!" Qouting you as your face turns red "your the worst" "oh please you love me" she kisses your cheek not thinking much of it, but leaving you speechless. "You know you never kissed me in public before..." You get a bit bashful "maybe I should be scared more often" "too late already know your tactics" "awe"

"BONITO FLAKES!!" "STOP SQUIRMING" he kept moving his head away as you tried to give him a spoon. "Inumaki you're gonna taste this so I don't lose to those two idiots and you're gonna be honest" "Mustard leaf!" "Gojo was being dramatic he didn't pass out!" You see disgusted fear in his eyes before he swallows down and opens his mouth. To his surprise its pretty amazing. "Sooo" he narrowed his eyes "salmon" "YES!" "I never knew you cooked" Panda walked in. "Why I do, to make everyone happy I mastered many things" "so you mastered leaving the teachers bedridden" "I TOLD YOU HE WAS JUST BEING DRAMATIC, that won't stop me from beating the twins in this bet" you smirk "maybe I'll even get that little bunny holding monsters approval!" You reach your fist to the sky. No one was sent to bed because of your cooking that day.

You've always forced inumaki to do stuff with you and in exchange whenever he'd as you'd use your curse technique to limit the effect his abilities had on him. He just had to sit through a make-over scene. Sometimes he thinks you can just nerf his powers entirely if you tried but you'd always respond "last time I tried to cancel someone's cursed technique I think I was too broad with it, think the guy ended up with like 50% fish 50% human it was really awkward". He "looses" the clips you gave him and you always have the same "WHAAA we must set up a funeral arrangement" "salmon" "don't agree your paying for it" "fuck" "don't speak normally while I'm reconsidering our friendship"

You're also the Inumaki decoder, which is why you two are usually partnered for missions, totally not because Gojo sees it happening. "Those two are married" "Why yes they are" "what-" "Bonito flakes" "not what you said last time this question came up" you could feel inumaki go deadpan you could tell the guys smiling under there "Bonito flakes" said in the most "I'm lying" way ever "I swear- give it to us before this guy ends up six feet under"

He definitely would find out the hard way what club you do outside of the high school. This "cooking competition" was actually a setup for something else something with rose petal involvement... "Welcome ladies" "AAAAAAAAHHH" "I've made eatch one thinking of all of you please savor every bite" "oh y/n you remembered my favorite dish!" "How could I forget something that important when it reminds me of you" "tuna tuna" "oh y/n please not in public" "don't worry my dear no one would mind this display of my adoration" "ah-" the girl causually faints into your arms and you put her in the preprepared bench to rest. "That's the 32nd boss" "I bet you guys couldn't reach 20" "we just had our 19th" "eh. HUH" "Tuna tuna" "you two idiots!!" You ran off once again never noticing inumaki trying to get your attention so he did the next best thing. "Next guest-" "tuna" it was as if someone had suddenly decided to jumpscare you, your eyes widening as you instantly break character finally hearing his voice. "...well if you don't mind" you drag him behind a table" trembling as you grip his shoulders "inumaki...what the hell are you doing here" "followed" "ARE YOU SERIOUS" you sigh "whatever listen you're gonna pretend to be a normal customer and then we move on with our day" "salmon" "yea you better" he enjoy that day knowing you watched his every move, kept it a secret just so he could keep messing with you.

He does sometimes wonder what it's like for the girls that come by so he does try to get you to seriously put on your theatrics, unfortunately you see him as a friend. Just means to try harder. "Inumaki?" He gets closer to you laying his head on your shoulder "are you alright would you like me to get you some water?" He dosent respond only holding your waist. "Inumaki...I don't know what's wrong but" you play with his hair "you always seem to brighten up when I do this" the twiddling with his hair strands was amazing to say the least. "I like you alot" "huh?" "I mean it I love you" you stop playing with his hair "wait...YOU TWO?!" You blush heavily "I've been inlove with you for a while aswell" smileing fondly he hugs you even tighter. "Salmon" "salmon you jerk" teasing him you kiss his forehead, you could feel him melting.

Everyone just automatically knows you two are dating without even saying it. "So did you two get together over the weekend?" "?" "I can feel it it feels like I'm third wheeling" "don't worry too much about it" "salmon" "yeaaa" Maki narrows her eyes at the both of you. "Inumaki there's a spot I wanted to try out nearby" "?" "They're even setting up dates right now" "it's gone too far" "who the hell are you two" your friends turn to her one with a bunny in hand the other looking like if megumi cut his hair and got taller. "A fanclub" "They're leaving" "GO GO" she did finally got conformation you two were dating when inumaki held your hand and looked as if he were about to teasingly kiss you, thank god your friends were so painfully odvious as stalking. "Inumaki you mustn't,wait...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE" "sorry boss just wanted to see it happen since you had to cancel" "WHO PUT YOU UP TO THIS" your friend raises his hand "I'm jealous" "that's the worst excuse you came up with.

He will admit one of his favorite activities is getting involved in your out of school shenanigans. "I order you to master the sassy chicken by the end of this week!" "Salmon" "inumaki not you unfortunately you can waltz...right?" "Bonito flakes" "UNACCEPTABLE, get over here were gonna dance!" He lied he just wanted to see you flustered, unfortunately he realized you were incredibly serious on this. "So what if you might not be there it's still worth it to teach you" you teach him quite quickly. Now let him buy those magazines of you.

The twins love him. So much infact that he helps mess with you. "Heyyy pookie" "who told you to call me that-" Inumaki waves from the distance. He 100% uses the twins to send you letters while your in the middle of club activities. "Now now ladies" "Boss it's from tuna" "...give it to me" you take it gracefully opening it to reveal "ditch the ladies and get over here" you turn your head to see inumaki stuffing his face with cake with the other two turning around just to smirk at you "that little" you fold it neatly putting it in your pocket "apologies ladies" "AHHHHHH" "SELL YOUR BATHWATER" "Alright now that's a little too werid"

He does like making you his personal nap post, trust as soon as he gets the chance he hits you with the "so tireddddd" waddle and lays on you. Ofc the first few times you gave him piggy back rides letting him sleep on your back but then he kinda ruined it when he didn't even use his curse technique at all. "Wait a minute you didn't use it at all!" Your eyes narrow as you point at him "no free piggy backs you can walk!" "Bonito flakes..." "you have a bed at home" you are his bed at home! He does NOT let you go as soon as he's napping you're gonna have to rizz people up with him latched onto you.

As soon as you two are alone he's up to something. Biting your cheeks texting you the most random things so he doesn't accidently curse you. "I wanna go to a park" "marry me" he deletes that text "sorry my cat typed" "you're right next to me you're such an idiot" and the best part a kiss to the forehead. The best thing ever in his opinion is when you get all affectionate. "You're always so needy, one can only assume you'd want to spend every waking momment with me" kissing his forehead again while playing with his hair the guy basically turns into puddy. "I should do this more often so you won't be jealous of the fans" you pull him closer "not to worry I'll be as affectionate as need be to make up for that" "salmon" he dosent even look up at you but he's very amused by the idea cuddling up to you continuing to play with his hair

"Salllmmmoonn" "you're a very depressing zombie ya know you're worse than Yuta" "Bonito flakes" "true you're much more adorable" "salmon" "salmon" you repeat back at him watching his cheeks puff. "Don't worry zombumaki well scare the other team easily!" "How long till they get here" "10 minute" "perfect" you continue on with your plan to jumpscare the next people in the room. "You'll be down in just a secound inumaki" waving at him from up there while he's stuck to the ceiling suspended by a few bits or ropes. "You know your lines right?" "Salmon" "perfect" you and your friend hide in the corner together bickering about small things. "You're such a jerk" elbow jab strike one "we wouldn't be friends if I wasn't" "true I like you like this" "me too" strike 2 "Oh they're comming!" You grab your friends wrist pulling them closer "shush shush I swear" "Relax I'll cover your mouth if you scream too loudly" "you're the worst" he quickly shushes you, strike three there wasn't time to glare at your friend as someone had triggered the trap set by you and your friend. He suddenly drops down infront of the guests "boo" "AHHHHHHHHHHHH" They all ran off without a secound thought. "Great job inumaki!" You untie his ropes so he's able to get out "I'm sure you got then good" "salmon" he hugs you suddenly glaring at your friends before back at you. "Alright next stage" he pulls you down suddenly whispering something in your ear making you blush. "Go on without me" "Alright if you insist" your friend leaves the room, with that happening Inumaki hugs you tighter making you pat his head. "You were a great zombie good job" giving him small head pats you stand there with him for a little while. "We're gonna win cause of you" "salmon" "of course you'd say that" you move his head to face yours. "Yes im helping you take off your makeup" "salmon" "yep"

[crushedsweets]

What about some lulu headcannons since you seem to like her? :)

oh anon u are spoiling me.... heres a little sketch of her college life. let me begin . . tw for general creepypasta things, abuse, bullying, death, etc

ok. so a lot lulus og stuff is gross obviously (although a majority of the og creepypastas have gross origins/creators). as a kid, i was pretty attached to her, but looking back , its just. ugghhghgh. which is why i want to try giving her her own horror type story while still following some of the core things that made her her. BEGONE WITH MIDDLE/HIGH SCHOOL KILLERS...

lulu is 24 but described as 'physically 14' which bugs me esp bc theres so much emphasis on her body being like an adult. and frankly i am not crazy about yet another 'little kid bullied/abused then goes crazy/demonic' story so i scrapped the bullshit ‘is 24 but looks 14 but is drawn like she’s 24!’. So I decided to just to make make her whole zalgo poisoning occur later in life. since its now set in university, a handful of things changed. mayhaps she knows jack ?

she grew up as a rich girl being put through several private schools growing up. she wasnt the smartest, she wasnt the most social, and while i think that the og story did this really fucking poorly, she did deal with harassment cuz she developed early. ranged from people calling her a slut for the same clothes as a thinner girl, to getting dress coded for no good reason, to rumors, etc. so, she's being bullied by her peers, though its moreso a ton of gossip rather than stuff in her og. overall school sucked for her

finally she goes to university. shes away from all those people, away from her helicopter parents, away from dress codes and loneliness. she tries SO hard to keep up the perfect daughter persona in public bc she knows shes walking on thin ice(having been punished for things out of her control all her life), with a wardrobe full of pencil skirts and button ups, but then she finally meets this guy named josh. but that shit gets seriously exhausting. and as many kids in her position do, she wants to Rebel .. she starts going to parties and whatnot w her edgy ass roommate. random garage shows, raves, generally reckless behavior etc. its not her fully her thing but she's there and having fun.

idk his name in the og story but there was that guy that led her on just to further abuse her. i changed him up and made him some guy in a frat that she met at a rando party. he was so sweet to her the first time they met, they talked for a long time at the party, he was cool overall and she never ever craved attention like this before - she never even GOT attention like this before, coming from an all girls school, so she clung. but he wasnt actually gonna date her, so he said some bullshit excuse about 'you know how greek life is, my frat wont let me date u unless u join this specific sorority!! soz' and he chose the worst, most clique-y sorority that has the most insane hazing ritual for girls that arent sought after. he thought there was no way she'd give it a shot and he could get her off his back. a dick move, but he didnt think she'd do it.

but, she does - and the hazing is fucking shit. the girls in the sorority are worse than the girls in highschool (and maybe in cliché fashion, one of her highschool bullies ended up in the sorority before her?). it starts off as things like 'oh you gotta buy your sorority sisters coffee for a week' to 'oh you have to be drunk/high throughout all your classes for a week' to completely deranged shit like branding yourself or slashing a professors tires. things nobody in their right mind would do, typically.

i havent decided exactly how exactly lulu hits the point where they think she's dead, but a group of sorority girls think she is. they panic, and in their panic cannot feel her pulse or hear breathing. she's completely unconscious, cold, and frankly on the way to death - so they take her to slenders forest and get to work

they bury her in a shallow grave, unaware of all the different demons residing in the forest watching one of the most gruesome displays of humanity. if youve watched girl from nowhere, theres a scene where nano gets buried alive by a group of her classmates then she wakes up . . imagine that.

im thinking, similar to the operator, zalgo can infect people as well . . maybe people on their death beds ? anyway, lulu's infected. long after the girls run off, lulu manages to dig herself out of the grave. shes wheezing, coughing, sobbing, its dark and cold and foggy, and she now has to come face to face with zalgo making some weird 'i saved you, i want something in return.' and there goes her eyes !!! rip lulu. maybe zalgo did it cuz hes a dick, maybe he actually needs human parts to seal the deal.

theres some more interaction but overall lulu doesnt have a ton of demon powers or anything. new wounds heal quickly, but her past ones will never will. she can be eerily quiet, popping in and out with fog, doesn't need food/water/sleep. . she does have kinda crazy strength(no agility or speed), but she's so mentally weak it does nothing for her

for a while she does just wander the forest in complete and utter mourning, until one of the proxies finds her and is like Oh Fuck that's not human. toby describes her as a zombie. so she's another job for them to handle

eventually they settle her in the hospital with ann.. the hospital is likely an area that experiences more fog, being closer to the lake perhaps, so it just makes sense to put her in an area she can see. it took a while for lulu to calm down bc she now has a pretty big fear around women , and the proxies have to CONSTANTLY come around and check in for a while, cuz she feels safer with them. maybe they tried putting her with jack but jack said absolutely the fuck not. bc lulus legitmately scary. she's constantly croaking, crying, wheezing, dripping blood everywhere she goes, etc.

she eventually gets along with ann, who thinks lulus cute and fun to chat with. i made a joke about them doing tiktok dances together but like. i could see it. maybe ann reminds lulu of her roommate, the only girl whos been completely nice to her ? dunno. (despite the roomie being the reason lulu got into the partying and stuff)

mmmmmm yeah. that is basically the entire rewrite .

i likely wont include her too much in the story just because the rewrite is so drastic+shes not all too popular but i used to feel very fondly towards her when i was 10 and i do think her character cconcept is super cool (the fog, the eye stuff, zalgo poisoning etc). theres just hella weird stuff but its a creepypasta from 2013 idk what we expect

[lunarmote]

Thoughts on Ikki from Amnesia: Memories (1.5k WORDS)

In this post: spoilers, gifs (wait for them to load)

Ikki is my favorite character from Amnesia: Memories. He gets a lot of hate for being spineless and subjecting the main character to bullshit because of it. I think his outward flirtatiousness doesn’t help, as it suggests he is a person who knows his way around people and would have no problems telling them off for bad behavior… and therefore, any inaction on his part must be because… he’s not a good person, right?

At the crux of it, Ikki’s problems have to do with his belief in an external locus of control and his inability to acknowledge his own freedom. This can be seen in the very nature of his wish, which has to do with controlling other people.

I find Ikki the most relatable character in the game, and here’s my chance to defend that opinion!

Magical eyes: who is actually the victim?

We are told that Ikki has “magical eyes” that are able to seduce any girl who looks at him. This may seem ridiculous, but let’s examine the full implications of this within the Amnesia universe:

We know

Ikki made the wish when he was little

it’s made every woman he sees infatuated with him.

My interpretation is that the eyes plant in them a fully-developed limerence. Limerence is an extremely painful, obsession with someone which differs from a crush due to its intense nature (some authors consider it a form of OCD). Dorothy Tennov, a seminal author on limerence, has described it as “an uncontrollable, biologically determined, inherently irrational, instinct-like reaction” (Love and Limerence 1979)

From the perspective of the women, interacting with him is deeply irresistible.

Limerence or not doesn’t excuse randomly grabbing onto his shoulder, harassing his partner and straight up murder. But overwhelming feelings are not just feelings — they influence motivation.

The point is, while limerence is not a physical force (in the same way I as a weak 120lb woman cannot bench press 200lbs), it is a persistent mental force. It is a series of assaults to one’s healthy sense of will. Imagine trying to take a test with a pounding headache. It is not that you are unable to take moment-to-moment action (e.g. grip the pencil) but that making rational choices is hard, because of the pain constantly pulling back your attention. Someone under its grip may end up doing uncharacteristic things because the pain of fighting it off is too much. In desiring release from this intense surge of chemicals, one seeks in any way to “bridge” the gap between them and their person of fixation.

Ikki’s eyes, by whatever in-universe logic, produce in random women sensations so strong that they find it physically painful to be apart from Ikki. In spite of how despicable the fan girls are, they are forced to have extremely painful experiences they could never consent to.

You may think the MC was able to break out of the spell, and therefore the other girls just weren’t trying hard enough. Yes. But considering the MC was the only one who was ever capable of breaking the spell, it does not suggest that the act is likely. Personally, I think this can be explained by MC’s plot armor, though I get that it's important symbolically.

Low self-esteem and learned helplessness

There’s always a karmic lesson involved when a character makes some kind of wish that controls other people. Not even in the sense that what they did was bad so they must be punished, but that what they wished for wasn’t what they really wanted, and ends up bringing them further from happiness because of it.

Ikki’s life attitude can be reflected in his wish (1) first in its nature concerning the affection of other people, and (2) in its format, which alters the state of the world rather than Ikki himself.

Ikki’s deepest wish is to be liked and this can be seen in his route. In any encounter, he defaults to making himself as gentlemanly and inoffensive as possible. He’s locked in a fawn response. He makes promises he can’t keep if only because he feels obliged to preserve others’ happiness. When Shin gets mad at him for rejecting Mine too harshly (not really much he could’ve done as we see many girls won’t take “no” for an answer) he apologizes for causing a disturbance. Certainly he feels guilt for being both the direct and indirect source of their unhappiness.

Yes, it is a selfish desire to not want to speak out and risk other people’s displeasure. But I can understand. If your entire life has revolved around being liked by others, the thought of losing that isn’t just a blow to your happiness but your total sense of self. In other words, who even is Ikki underneath this persona? How can he begin to construct a sense of self that is not rooted in others’ superficial admiration when he never had a chance to learn?

Next, going back to the wish. If Ikki wanted to be popular, he could have wished for a lovely voice or some other talent, which would have offered some buffer space for others’ opinions of him to form. But he wishes for girls to like him, unqualified. He doesn’t wish to change; he wishes for the world around him to change.

He desires an instantaneous opinion of approval that is never grounded on anything “deep,” — because real appreciation takes time to form!

How can you know someone is kind? Through observing their behaviors over a period of time and seeing that they are consistent. But even then you could be wrong, should you discover an ulterior motive behind them (e.g. doing things for social clout).

Ikki didn’t seem to understand how real relationships work — he focused on the outcome, rather than the progression — the series of “mundane” exchanges that really teach you about a person.

Forcing other people’s will has only strengthened his own fatalism; even after a supernatural intervention, he hasn’t become happy. He’s stuck because he doesn’t know what else he could even wish for, because according to him the world around him has to change rather than himself. This world view makes it very hard for him to act in a way that is “out of character,” even when we the player are begging him to.

I cringed so hard when I saw this — because he is approaching his relationship with the MC with the same mindset. (Ikki talking about his eyes)

Making excuses for others

Lastly, we see that Ikki internalizes his feelings of loneliness and guilt, only revealing them to MC when he’s drunk, and I believe he blames himself disproportionately for the pain of other people.

At Ikki’s apartment, he speaks of the guilt he faces every time at breaking a girl’s heart, and says it is enough to drown him. The language he uses is reflective of someone in a deep depression.

Again this fatalism that he’s destined to hurt others and maybe there’s no point to anything because he’ll end up alone anyway.

This is interesting because. One way of looking at it is yes, since the limerences were planted as a direct result of his wish, he is ultimately responsible for all of their suffering.

But more optimistically, there is still a gap between intense feeling and action, and the self-blame plays very neatly into his pattern of avoiding freedom of responsibility. To downplay the actions of the fangirls as either “they felt too intensely, they couldn’t help it!” or “they didn’t have bad intentions-”

… is yet another excuse to not have to think about freedom and responsibility.

Because to see the fangirls as people and recognize their choice to refrain from harmful behaviors shows that if even they can change then maybe Ikki can too.

But he wants to feel validation for all the suffering he’s been through, so it would be all the more tragic to imagine this a part of destiny that he can’t change, no one can change.

Oh, Ikki.

What makes me empathize with a character is not whether they make the “right” decisions, but whether given their past and the unique circumstances they are in, it is understandable they ended up the way they did.

There’s plenty to be criticized about Ikki’s actions — but I do not think he is a bad person. I think he is idealistic and neurotic and has been punished unjustly for a shortsighted mistake. Because of this I was very happy to see him finally stand up for himself and MC, and it gives a sense of “well-earned” to their happy ending. (I also warned up a bit to his aesthetic as well as voice acting - which was fantastically done!)

[sencity]

yandere!poet x gn!darling, pt. two . . .

˚₊ ꒰ nightmare fuel 𝄁︎ obsessive/possessive themes, self-harm/mentions of blood, f!masturbation, overstimulation (y/n receiving), death threats, assault, suicide notes, vengeful habits, + controlling/manipulating behavior.

˚₊ ꒰ word count 𝄁︎ 949.

˚₊ ꒰ key 𝄁︎ crossed out red words indicate amunet's thoughts. blue text indicate amunet's messages. purple text indicate y/n's messages.

˚₊ ꒰ sen’s statement(s) 𝄁︎ you’d find pt. one here, let alone amunet’s face claim and information here. this’ll be the last part of headcanons, btw.

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere poet! who’s trembling harshly in regret after you confronted her about her ominous sonnet named “stained cosmos”. a poem that was supposedly written in red ink, but over time it began to fade into an old brown, which heightened your concern seeing as the sonnet was quite dark …

“amunet, you have to tell me why you did this. is this your…blood? i’d be very upset if it was… are you alright?”

☪︎︎ ��andere poet! who’s in their room puling fearfully to herself as the quill pen danced across her paper, even though the ink replacement was simply red dye and her tears acted as blood. how could you be upset with how devoted she is to you? were you rejecting her creativity or her…? how else could she show you how devoted she is!? but yet …

“you y/n care so y/n d…eeply…for y/n me…my beloved…y/n, what are you doing?…”

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere poet! who ends up fingering herself while announcing more slam poetry in her room, one with more lecherous intent behind it, her body writhing with an enraptured smile as she moaned carelessly as if her neighbors weren’t filing complaints about the ruckus …

“mmn, a-and your y/n scent, your y/n lips, e-even y/n your- sh-shit…y/n, your body…”

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere poet! who fell into her desires shamefully by calling you frequently since she “has nightmares” and needed you to “read her her favorite poems so she could go to bed” which was a solid excuse to use your voice to feed into her desires. she felt regretful, but each word caused a throb between her thighs, her hips rolling with need …

“and her love was too tangled up in—huh? amunet? you’re breathing very loudly—was that a moan?”

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere poet! who steals your pencils and pens during class and yet you still believe that you’re just bad at organizing. meanwhile, after the club ended and she was alone in the classroom, she was using the writing utensil, inhaling the stimulating scent deeply before smiling maniacally, placing her head on the desk while dragging the pen/pencil down her clothed pussy frantically.

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere poet! who makes you cum at least thrice every night, fingering/jerking you as her eyes fixated on your frantic reactions due to you being overstimulated since she cannot get enough of you. she praises you lovingly with sweet somethings; she manages to say new compliments every time she sees you, let alone think of you. you pleaded and pleaded for her to stop, but her flattering words only caused you to falter and give into her desires, even though you knew it would last until sunrise …

“such pretty noises from my your pretty mouth, not enough prose in the world could compare to what i own i love. maybe we should do this until death the morning again, how does that sound?”

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere poet! who owned up to her promise and used the blood of the body of a person who had the audacity to assist you with your poetry assignment as an excuse to flirt (which amunet did her best to rectify and rephrase words just for you so you could finish the assignments in class). but don’t worry! the person isn’t dead or anything, but generous enough to lie there below her mutilated and blubbering, acting as an ink supply for her projects …

“there, now i don’t have to scar my arms anymore, my darling y/n doesn’t need their memory scarred as well, they hate it when i hurt myself…but i don’t recall them mentioning about hurting others…”

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere poet! whose vindictive nature embraced more when you teased her about the new friends you’ve made, resulting in glowering disdainfully at you, grumbling short-worded complaints since she was better with her emotions on paper…or when she’s completely enamored by the thought of you. she finally cut you off, her fists clenching and trembling with indignation towards these people you’ve met, these people you’ll soon mourn over …

“i’ll kill maim everyone in our phones so they’ll never ring again… how dare you be such a cheater so ungrateful? do you not understand how far i’ve gone for your recognition? how many clothes have i stained for your acceptance? and yet you turn around and mingle with people who aren’t even above my level…”

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere poet! who nails death threats on your friends’ doors or anyone else who even lacked the decency to gaze upon you.

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere poet! who slips suicide poems in your locker unpredictably, but you found her actions trite since you knew she wasn’t actually dead but needed you right this instant. perhaps attempting to correct your behavior once more. you took your time looking for her only to find out she’s not even at school, therefore you left early.

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere poet! who was waiting outside of your apartment while spinning a switch knife around her fingers with a dazed, lovelorn, and lifeless expression, which not only deepened your confusion, but worried you tremendously. it was for your own good, she convinced herself. as much as she didn’t want to go this route, you tend to not do as she says when she says it. it’s hard to give you the best when you’re acting the worst (even though your rebellious nature only lured her in even more) …

“i’ve spilled punch them more blood than ink for your attention, and yet you still have the audacity to not make me the highest priority still look the other way? that’s alright, hun—shh, shut the fuck up don’t explain yourself. therefore, i will show you how much my soul yearns for you by engraving affirmations on your precious body in…red ink. perhaps a few marks to help everyone kill them all else conclude that you’re only my muse to alter and maim, to control and cripple. my y/n, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine…”

© all rights reserved 𝄁︎ sencity. plagiarism will not be tolerated on this blog but addressed and chastised accordingly.

[northwest-cryptid]

You know a very real part of me wonders how many of us have depression and see life as less of a fun and vibrant place as we get older if not just because it literally is.

I'm not even talking about how your body adjusts and how colors lose their vibrancy and all that. I'm talking about how when I was young, we sure as hell had Nokia bricks that were just black or grey or whatever. However we also had colored pencil boxes, and Macintosh computers for kids in school, cars came in brighter more varied colors, and most the tech was either given a colored shell like old Gameboy devices, or had some kind of colored accessories. A lot of the latest stuff coming out was stylized almost to a fault of form over function. Everything from phones and computers to art supplies and backpacks had some kind of vibrant color and whimsical design to it. Not just because most of that shit was for kids; but because it was just what we did back in the day.

Your computer mouse would have a unique shape or your jacket would have interesting little design tweaks from others. Maybe your shoes lit up or had some kind of weird gimmick to them. Now it's like, my monitors are black thin squares, my computer is a minimalist white box with a clear side panel and some RGB lights. That's all the color I get, a black keyboard with RGBs, a black thin tablet; a black generic mouse with RGBs, black headphones; black controllers, a black thin phone, a black mic sitting on a black mic arm on my black thin desk.

Listen I get it, I'm goth and all that, I understand that a lot of this is a matter of choice, but a lot of it also isn't. This is just how tech looks now, this is just how things are designed. To be thinner, to be sleeker, to be ignored. Sure blobjects and the like were horrible wastes of plastic, but I cannot tell you just how much personality everything had. The world used to embrace vibrancy and whimsy, now it is seen as childish. Now we seek the "modern" mundane look of monotone grays, black and white tech. It's all so boring, and the stuff that is slightly unique is expensive as hell. You can't afford to have personality in your tech anymore, literally. If something does have an ounce of interesting design it's typically pretty cheaply made and will fail within a year.

I don't latch onto Y2K aesthetics and the like because of some weird nostalgia for a promised future torn away from me by capitalism. I genuinely enjoy the vibrant colors, interesting fun designs, and just general love for life that it had. Y2K to me is a celebration of technology, it's why nearly everything came with the option to be transparent so you could see all the inner workings. Now even that has been dumbed down to a generic black cube graphics card and some generic minimalist black fans in my PC. That's all I get now, I don't get these colorful transparent interesting shells that let me peer into the inner workings of the tech I use. It's either unavailable, or too expensive; and even when it is available and affordable; it's typically poorly made or fails to understand the true aesthetic and interest of the reason for it in the first place. I don't care if I can see into my PC if all that's in there is a generic sleek black box. Show me the circuit boards, the wires and connections. Show me the lights that flash to indicate signals firing and being received.

Show me the soul of the machine I operate, let me watch as it dances to carry out my will. We used to be in love with our technology, we used to appreciate it's inner workings, what made it tick. It was like seeing the innards of a loved one but rather than feeling repulsed; it was like seeing their very soul, understanding that you love not only the exterior; but that you find beauty in what makes them function on the inside too.

Now all I'm left with is a simple thin black box, to be tucked away; hidden out of sight; ignored. Tech is something to be used, upgraded, replaced; and discarded. We do not love our tech, we do not love anything we create now. We create to consume, to sell; to profit.

[moonstonedrawsrandomly]

Mother 13🟢.

“I’m shocked that this worked. Fernilla?”

She said, realizing her full body was here. Interesting. She was in the head of Fernilla but she can smell Narinder inside. She didn’t have to walk much until she found Fernilla’s form tied up by Narinder’s powers.

“You liar! You said they were alive! I trusted you!”

“A terrible thing for you to do, dear! Now you have nothing! Who told you I was trustworthy in the fist place, such a naïveté goddess should be parted with her power and her cult. Unfortunately at this time you clan is gone. You know what happens at this point”

“Your right”

That wasn’t the rabbit, who was that? That sounded familiar

“You were never trustworthy to begin with…my child…if I could even call you that”

Narinder backs up, alarmed!

“Mom?”

“Oh, you still refer me as that? After what you have done to your Clan? Your own family?!? I know everything now! You sniveling excuse of a BISHOP!”

Narinder dodged the attack. Looking more shocked that his own mother would attack him. In his hesitation, Gaia was able to grab Fernilla from her capture.

“What have you done to your family?!?”

“What have I done?!? You should ask your Partner what they did to ME!!! Everything fell apart because of THEM!!!

“Nari, I may not have seen much of you growing up, but I assume you know why I was sealed away. To scramble the power and structure of the Faithful Cult and to leave an open spot for a new ruler to take over. And this Power surge…It involves Fernilla, doesn’t it?”

Narinder looked shocked! How did she figure that out?!? And so soon?!? There is no way that they would know what he was up to, how did she figure it out without a problem?

“You already know what I was about to do…your clever mom…you were always my favorite parent”

“You stabbed me in the arm with a pencil! What psycho would to that to someone they loved?!? You’re still hungry for power…I thought you’d grow out of this…You slaughtered-“

“I didn’t do anything! They did it-“

“Through you! A follower dies because they followed you is tragic, but all it does is put a target on your head.”

Narinder was silent before he tried to attack Gaia, Gaia subdued him quite quickly at Fernilla’s shock. There was a moment that they were holding each other from killing each other. Narinder…actually felt calm. That familiar maternal warmth that Gaia gave off. It reminded him…

“Balance your power Nari!”

“I’m trying Mama!”

“I know, but this is too much! You’re merely sparring with your little brother, NOT trying to kill him!”

She said as she released a much younger Narinder. Kallamar was wrapped up in his sister’s arms. Gaia shakes her head.

“This is why no one want to spar with you, you go too far! You younger brothers don’t want to soar with you, and now your older sister doesn’t. Mom and Elder Sibling can’t keep sparring with you because you cannot control your powers…nari”

She takes his little hands and kisses them

“Such a strong boy…you must be careful…promise me you’ll be careful, okay?”

“Okay Mom!”

Little Narinder jumps into his mother’s arms. She embraces him.

“We spent years raising you…you..you were their favorite child…and this is how you treat them? Even after they spared you from death…”

She shoves him away. Narinder was still in shock, her warmth disappeared as she hops back and grabbed Fernilla. She lifted her hand and a beam of light emanated from it.

“Purify the nonbelievers, and vanquish the evil!”

Narinder ended back up in his domain. This time, he had no way out! He roars in pain and agony and anger!

“MOTHER!!! They even turned you against me!! I will kill them!! I WILL KILL THEM ALL UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND!”

Even in his immense anger…he whimpers…

“Mom…mom…I thought you loved me…don’t abandon me…like they did…!”

He held those words in his heart.

“Noelle, you can open your eyes now”

Noelle opens them to see Gaia’s crown and Fernilla looking on. Noelle jumps up immediately to hug Fernilla

“Goddess Fernilla!”

“My Goddess!”

Moses entered the room and hugs his goddess so tightly. Gaia took notice. Noelle stepped back.

“My goddess! Forgive my incompetence! I couldn’t protect you in your time of need! I deserve death!”

Moses said. Fernilla lifted him off the ground

“Moses, you didn’t abandon me. Even in death, you were by my side. Do not grieve, for I am alive.”

He then takes off her crown and presented it back to her.

“A crown that is rightfully yours”

He placed it back on her head. Gaia was astounded. A follower actually giving that type of power back? That is some devotion

‘This is why you survived for so long Fernilla…I get it now…’

Gaia thought. Soon she could feel the others coming.

“The others have found us. It would be wise to return to the Clan. Goddess Fernilla, remember that they are of a higher rank than you, so please treat them well.”

“You-“

“It’s okay Moses…I was promised I would be told the whole truth…we will find out soon enough”

Moses picks up his sword and anything else he needed from the remains of his hut. They rejoin the other Bishops and they teleported back to the Clan

“Mom, are you sure Elder Sibling will be okay with us just…bringing her here?”

Heket asked. Gaia sighed.

“They will have to be. Worst case Senario, someone will have to soothe them since I cannot in this form…I hope Kallamar can do that!”

She said. When they entered back, a servant came straight to them.

“My Lady, Bishop Shamura is waiting for you with Bishop Kallamar in the Throne room”

‘Ah shit’

‘That was fast!’

‘We’re dead!’

‘Not even a second In….”

There was no point in hiding from them now, they might as well go in and face their demise.

TBC

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #233

When was the last time you did clay work/pottery? Not since high school.

Do you like art, hate it or just not mind it? I love art.

If you had to choose would you prefer dull pain for 12 hours or sharp for 2? Dull, I think. This does kinda depend on where the pain is, though.

Do you know the words to the national anthem of your country? It's kinda nailed into you when you had to recite it every day in school, so...

Would you rather be a model, famous scientist, singer, or chef? The scientist.

Would you rather be a pilot, crime scene investigator, or estate agent? ugh

Does making others happy really make you feel happy? Yes.

Have you ever pricked your finger on holly or another "sharp" plant? Probably at some point.

What do you have a lot of faith in [note: can be anything]? What love is capable of.

Do you subconsciously hang out with those with the same star sign as you or as each other, perhaps due to certain personality traits? I don't believe in this shit.

Name five objects that you don’t have but would like right now? A desktop computer, a new camera with more megapixels, a final PVC cage build for Venus that is the appropriate adult length (4x2x2), a backlog of books in my possession so I wouldn't have to keep going to the library when I finish one in the series I'm reading, and working PS4 controllers so I can actually play the console that's in my house lol.

When you have children, would you like twins? I'm not having kids, but even in the situation where I'd want kids, I would very likely abort one. I cannot imagine a world for me where I can handle two kids of the same age at once.

If you were given the choice to choose your child’s gender, would you? Yes, again if I wanted kids, I'd very much favor a girl over a boy. Literally for no reason other than I strongly prefer the girl names I like over the boy names. That's literally it lmfao, such a dumb reason. Well actually no, I forgot, I'm uncomfortable with the circumcision situation. I don't know what I'd do as a parent to a cis boy. I've heard this and that about both ways, and ultimately I think I'd let Girt decide because I have never had a penis and don't think I have a lot of rightful say in what to do in a situation I absolutely cannot relate to, but. I would just very much rather have a cis girl (at birth I should probably add, I couldn't care less if my child came out as trans, other than worrying for their safety of course) and not even have to think about it.

What’s the scariest story/urban legend/creepypasta etc you heard? Ummmmm... I always found the Rake scary. Just waking up and some demon motherfucker staring at you from the foot of your bed. No thanks. Sleep paralysis-sounding stuff REALLY freaks me out, I'm thankful I've never experienced it and hope to high heaven I never do.

Do you miss someone currently? I do, I want to see Girt but I'm sick.

What personality trait does nearly everyone in your family seem to have? I don't know, I don't feel like going through a massive list of ideas to find one everyone matches.

How many tabs do you have open and what are they? At the time I'm answering this specific question, four YouTube tabs and one for Tumblr.

What browser do you prefer to use? I use Chrome, but I wouldn't call it a preference. I know Chrome has traits that are often critiqued. It's just what I'm used to.

What’re five random things on your desk besides any computer-related items? Two plushies, a planner, a sketchbook, and a small basket for things like my flash drive, iPod plug, etc.

What’re the items closest to you that’re red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, white, gray, brown, black, silver and gold? Red: featured on a blanket draped over the exercise bike seat. Orange: bag of chips I had. Yellow: featured in a plushie Girt got me on his vacation. Green: a plant in here. Blue: a pen. Purple: a pencil I use when I draw. Pink: a basket that's on a small shelf in here, I actually don't know what's in it. White: Girt's work schedule is printed on white paper. Gray: the outline of one of Cookie's beds. Brown: the cover of my sketchbook. Black: my pencil sharpener. Silver: the metal on the legs of my desk chair. Gold: there's gold flecks in the flower frame I use for a super cute picture of Roman.

Out of all the things you listed above, which is your favorite? The plush Girt got me while he was in Minnesota, I appreciated that he thought of me.

Are you excited for anything this month? Ryder's birthday party. The kids' bday parties stress me out to some degree, but it's always a nice change of pace in my days, too.

Is there anything special about today? No.

How’re you physically feeling right now? I have very symptomatic Covid. Guess lmfao.

How’re you emotionally feeling right now? I'm tired, haven't been able to sleep well. Feeling bleh.

Have you ever traveled outside of your home country? No, I wish.

Can you speak, read and/or write in another language besides English? I can read German rather easily (I hesitate on larger words sometimes, German words can get SO long), but I'm not fluent in understanding it all. I just understand how their spelling and pronunciation and stuff works.

What language course did you take in school, if any? I took Latin one semester and hated it. Following that, I took all four available German courses and did super well.

What language would you most like to learn? I want to be truly fluent in German.

What would you like to get a degree in? I don't think I want a degree. I want to pursue art (photography to be exact), and I've, in more recent times, become aware of just how flawed and unnecessary art school CAN be. Some people learn and grow in it, but it's a very overhyped and overly expensive thing for something unessential for success, from what I've heard from artist sources I trust.

What was you dream job when you were a little kid? Paleontologist was my first aspiration. I was OBSESSED with dinosaurs, and I still love them and find them so incredibly awe-inspiring. I desperately want to see a full fossil display one day, I might cry.

What happened to that dream? I don't want a career that requires frequent travel and also toiling in taxing conditions (like extreme heat).

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? Once or twice.

What genre of books do you like to read? My all-time favorite is animal fantasy. Most books in this genre are for juveniles, but I don't care. I DO wish there were more adult-relevent series of this type, though... It's one of the things that encourages me to make a book out of the RP I take part it, but I just know I would not be dedicated enough to write a series, especially when I've already WRITTEN the scenes once, you know? Sure, I could just not rewrite a lot, but I'd be a shitty author to not reread and improve where I can, and that just doesn't interest me.

Do you prefer physical books or a Kindle, Nook or other e-reader? PHYSICAL BOOKS. I refuse to get a Kindle or anything similar, I NEED that escape from technology, my life is already consumed by it.

What types of magazines do you read? I don't read magazines.

Do you like video games based off of movies? I did as a kid.

Ever suffer from amnesia? Only when I woke up from a concussion. Initially I had almost no idea of anything and it REALLY distressed me, but still today I don't actually remember the moment I hit the floor.

What instrument do you prefer to play when playing Rock Band/Guitar Hero? I only ever play guitar.

Have you ever picked out a song to listen to on a jukebox? Possibly? Idr.

Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in one day? God no.

Favorite way to eat a potato? (i.e. french fries, mashed potatoes…) French fries.

Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender? No, not really.

Have you ever cried in a movie theater? Yes. I specifically remember crying to Marley & Me, but I'm certain there's more, I cry easily.

When’s the last time you went out of state? It's been years.

Are the files in your computer well organized or all over the place? Well-organized.

Is there wallpaper on your bedroom walls? No.

What do you put on your hamburger? American cheese, ketchup, mustard, and pickles if available. I enjoy mayo, too, but I don't really seek it out.

Have you ever been described as shy? Is it true? Yes, I am excruciatingly shy.

When was the last time you saw rain? A few days back, we got some of Hurricane Debby.

What is one way someone could completely put you off on a first date? Say something racist or anti-LGBTQ+, act arrogantly, if we're out to dinner I'm fucking outie if you're rude to the waiters and stuff, be aggressive with me.

What about a way someone could make you like them more on a first date? Listen to me/just be attentive of me, be polite to those around you, make me laugh, don't be judgmental of my mental health stuff.

What was your first thought this morning? I was annoyed, Mom accidentally pointed her phone flashlight in my eyes at like 6AM and I couldn't fall back asleep after that.

Do or did you like school? School stressed me out, more than anything. It was too much pressure for me, especially college.

Have you ever sang in public? Yes, I was in the elementary school chorus and my childhood church choir. I also remember one church event where I was basically forced to sing a song I had to write with another girl. I was upset, I didn't want to sing with just ONE person doing it with me.

What do you like to listen to before you go to bed? I don't listen to things before bed specifically.

The videos that always make me laugh are… Vine-type videos. The quick, unexpected, stupid shit lmao

A trend I really love is… I've seen these videos going around of black men frolicking in fields and it is SO PURE and healthy masculinity as they laugh and have fun???????????????

My feelings about coconut flavor are… I hate coconut.

I think a good source of therapy is… Journaling.

Something helpful to lose weight is… Don't drink soda. If only I'd take that advice. Sure, I cut down IMMENSELY, but if I stopped entirely...

[riftwalker-limbro]

reality, the rift, and the void

so before i start this, i've laid this all out before, and this is going to retcon some of what i said earlier. i cannot be arsed to find the original post, so this should be a standalone.

let's start. how do vince's abilities work in my universe, anyway? (spoiler warning: i geek out about various bits of maths, graphics, and some minor physical properties of various seemingly unrelated shit)

(a warning in general: this is LONG and RAMBLY holy shit oops.)

starting again from the idea that the rift is a dimension between reality and the void, but this time, we're making the underlying concepts a little more complex.

the Fabric of- well, not reality, because that's a subset, so let's call it the Fabric of Existence. there's this Fabric underlying everything, and it's not a solid, liquid, gas, anything else, or even a vacuum, none of those - probably closest to call it a fourth dimension. (fun fact: you need 4D math to do 3D rotation. and you use 3D math to do 2D rotation). you know how when there's wind, it's not really one group of air particles going all the way, but rather a chain effect of air particles pushing each other around a lot? same with water particles in a wave - it's not one group of water particles traveling the entire way, but they stay more or less in a similar place, with similar neighbours. this fabric of existence is like that.

so then what IS the difference between reality and the void? and where does the rift fit in?

imagine you've got a ball, and it's about to fall onto a ridge.

something like that. i've got ms paint and a trackpad, you're not getting fancy graphics for this one.

When the ball drops, there's an incredibly tiny chance that it'll fall Just Right to remain on the very tip, but more than likely, it'll just fall down one of the sides. And when it does, you can start at various points, with various speeds, depending on exactly where you started. (this is a foundational principle of a branch of math called chaos theory: a TINY change in starting conditions can spiral into drastic changes in outcome. weather patterns are an example of chaotically unpredictable systems!)

so - let's put some numbers on there. the very tip of the ridge, let's call that zero. to the left is negative numbers, to the right is positive ones.

and let's put my meanings on there too. a particle in the fabric of existence that exists in the zone between -1 and 1 moves away from zero slowly. if it's beyond -1 or 1, it remains somewhat stable there. -1 is the void, 1 is reality.

what is zero? that's wally's house :) let's not worry about it

so what happens when you, for example, are a pencil, and you're hanging out in positive 1 reality? and say, some mean researcher suddenly puts the fabric of existence you're hanging out in (remember, fourth dimension, you're not actually part of the fabric of existence, it's just the wave in which you're swimming, but also you're not physically touching it - yeah, sorry) anyway, this meanass researcher puts your zone of existence down to 0.2. what happens?

well, first off, how is he doing that? well, since we're working in the fourth dimension here, i'm going to break your brains a bit more, and say that the fabric of existence cannot be imagined as a single-thickness piece of cloth that covers everything. it's three-dimensional. well, four, but for the sake of our 3d brains - it's like a layered cake of dimensions. say at the bottom is the -1 valued particles, in the middle you've got the zeroes, and on top you've got the positive one "real" particles. this is only a cake in that it is layered - it is not a solid, or a fluid, or a gas, or even three-dimensional.

so what the researcher is doing, is essentially - pulling up the layer of fabric particles that have value 0.2 up to the top of the cake, and taking control of the borders of this brief disturbance in the fabric of existence. he initially creates the disturbance at the center of his target area, and he can then in that exact moment also decide how far to extend this area, say, to an exactly you-shaped 3d area.

so, whereas you would intrinsically prefer to exist in the 1 fabric, you've now been put in 0.2 fabric. you are now experiencing reality at 0.2 x time speed. you can only feel the borders of this rift in existence around you - beyond it lies the 1 fabric floor, which you're not falling through because the nonsense the researcher cast on you was exactly tailored to your proportions, and the borders of this pencil-shaped rift overlap with your physical edges exactly, and that's where reality and this 0.2 space get confused about where one is supposed to end and the other begin.

say that this researcher is now very curious and tries to pick you up. well, his hand comes up to you, but exactly because his 1 fabric hand is trying to cross through the border of the rift at exactly the same location as your 0.2 fabric pencil body is, he just sort of gets - nudged away from 0.2 fabric, and stays in 1 fabric space. and his hand is now occupying the same space that you are, except he's in 1 fabric space, and you're in 0.2 fabric space.

this one you should imagine like when light hits water - or more specifically, light travels from one medium into another, in this case from air into water - when light does that, there's a fraction of it that gets refracted (travels INTO the new medium, maybe at a changed angle), and a fraction of it that gets reflected (bounces OFF the new medium, in the direction of the incident vector reflected around the incident normal- oops. just google light refraction there should be pretty images). and combine this model with the same ball-falling-onto-a-ridge analogy from earlier: in reality, with light refracting/reflecting, there's a variable: a factor for how much of the light goes in one direction or the other. in this example of researcher-hand-versus-rift-pencil, and in general for this type of interactions, if there are conflicts at the border of the rift like this, you get one of two outcomes - you either pass through the border into the new value-fabric space (refracted INTO the new medium) or you bounce off the border and remain in your own space (reflected OFF the new medium).

why is the pencil not falling through the floor, then? you see, the rift in the fabric of existence is not related to the pencil, but to the exact 3d location it was cast in. the pencil is still affected by gravity (at 0.2 times the rate of the 1 fabric space that surrounds the rift) so it does want to fall down, except when it tries to, it wants to exit the rift, and then immediately encounters the floor. why doesn't it reflect off of it and just remain in 0.2 space? well, outside of this rift, the layered cake of existence is still in place. the mean researcher has just pulled the 0.2 layer up all the way especially for you. you fall out of there and there's nothing but 1 fabric space floor to meet you.

say that the researcher hadn't been as precise, and cast your little rift a little too big. now, if he wants to reach in, his hand passes through the border and enters 0.2 fabric space (and boy, would it feel and look weird to have your hand suddenly at 0.2 speed for everything. hey, it might even hurt) but he WILL be able to physically interact with you. say he'd cast it too small, and now he's able to touch your borders which are still outside the rift in 1 fabric space.

okay, let's abandon the pencil analogy here - how exactly is Vince doing this? how much control does he have over the rift?

well, as you can probably infer from how i want time to work outside of 1 fabric space, it's.. inadvisable to go below zero (he tried it once, before he was called vince. only once). it's inadvisable to aim for zero, too, for the same reason that zero is just... generally mathematically inadvisable in certain circumstances. so, vince usually just pulls up the layers of the existence cake that are between 0.1 and 0.5 (gotta have Some effect). he creates the rift (initial point and expansion) through precision application of energy (through abilities) (calculated through MA T H) and that's that. he can maintain a bubble through continuous injection of more energy after the initial cast, but it requires precision and concentration (and of course the energy) depending on how big it is, and due to entropy the fabric always wants to return to 1 fabric values, so he cannot maintain this indefinitely.

how much control does he have over the rift itself? none! :) he just controls the border area.

what does this mean for allies? they're allowed to pass through the border without it sucking them into the rift. they can't interact directly with enemies within the rift, because they're just simply not on the same layer of the existence cake. but with the way it's a warframe's focused energy which can create this tear in the first place, i imagine warframe abilities should still be able to affect things that aren't on the same existence cake layer.

but can he still babyjail his friends/other things? things, yeah, easily! he just puts a precision rift bubble on there, controlling the rate at which it experiences time and is able to escape (if, say, the thing is an errant music ball thoroughly lost under his desk, and he's just trying to get it to keep still so he can get its owner, who must be so so worried about it) (which is a HORRIBLE idea the second the soundwaves get out of the border holy shit if he'd still had ears they'd be BLEEDING). live friends, same mechanic, but requires so much precision that he'd just.. rather not. you've SEVERELY pissed him off if he babyjails you, because he's willing to bet your bodily integrity against the precision of his own calculations.

oh i do hope that was somewhat coherent. when i have access to braincells i might try to add more graphics or explaining it in a different/more coherent way. i did have a lot of fun figuring out the comparisons today on the train. appropriate brain tickles

[nodssalementriche]

The Importance of Creative Spaces.

Look around you, are you in a space where your creativity can flow?

If not, it’s time to adjust our space, to allow for flow state.

For me, a messy space means a messy mind.

My attention and intention reflect the room around me. Scattered, and difficult to locate.

Everyone’s version of their creative space will look different, depending on their individual set and situation. I am lucky enough to have a large bedroom that had been converted from a craft room. Because the space is intended for creativity and passion, I am able to flow through it, and it through me.

Answer this question to yourself or out loud before and after adjusting the space:

How does your creative space serve your creative process?

HAVING A SPACE THAT IS DESIGNATED FOR YOUR CREATIVE FLOW WILL HELP IN THE MINIMIZATION OF DISTRACTIONS, ALLOWING YOU TO WORK MORE EFFICIENTLY. 

AND NOT NECESSARILY EFFICIENCY IN TERMS OF QUANTITY. THAT SHOULD NEVER BE THE GOAL OF AN ENTIRE ART JOURNEY, ONLY A RESULT OF IT. 

EFFICIENCY IN TERMS OF QUALITY.

HAVING MINIMAL SENSORY DISTRACTIONS WILL ALLOW FOR MORE CREATIVE CLARITY.

FOR ME, IT IS DIFFICULT TO BE FULLY EFFICIENT IN MY CREATION WHEN I AM WORKING IN A CLUTTERED LIVING SPACE.

I AM TOO DISTRACTED WITH MY THOUGHTS.

I FEEL, AS HUMANS, WE ARE EXTREMELY IMPRESSIONABLE AND REACTIVE. IT IS TOO EASY TO FEEL AN OVERWHELMING AMOUNT OF INSPIRATION, GOOD AND BAD.

“YOU CAN’T USE UP CREATIVITY. THE MORE YOU USE, THE MORE YOU HAVE.” MAYA ANGELOU

IT IS IMPORTANT TO BE ABLE TO CONTROL YOUR INSPIRATION, SO THAT YOU MAY HARNESS IT. 

THIS APPLIES TO OUR MEDIA CONSUMPTION AS WELL. 

IN A MODERN TIME, IT IS FAR TOO EASY TO BECOME NEGATIVELY INSPIRED. 

THIS CAN BE NECESSARY, SURE, BUT UNLESS CONTROLLED, WILL RESULT IN LITTLE SOUL DEATHS.

IN YOUR CREATIVE SPACE, THE INTENTION OF WHAT IS IN IT IS CRUCIAL. 

“It can be helpful if the space contains one or more objects that spark creativity.” (CARLO UNIVERSITY) 

WHETHER THAT BE A TREASURED ITEM, PERHAPS A PIECE OF ART, OR PHOTOGRAPHS. ANYTHING THAT GIVES YOU THAT CREATIVE SPARK.

BY HAVING A DESIGNATED SPACE TO CREATE, YOU ARE GIVING YOURSELF A PLACE TO ENTER INTO;

A PLACE WHERE YOU ARE FREE TO INDULGE IN PASSIONATE TRAINS OF THOUGHTS, CREATIVE WILD GEESE CHASES, AND A PLACE TO MAKE YOUR IMAGINATION TANGIBLE. 

THIS MAY LOOK LIKE A MASSIVE WAREHOUSE FILLED WITH SUPPLIES AND LARGE CANVASES, PLACES TO DUMP PAINT AND MAKE CREATIVE EXPLOSIONS. A PLACE TO REALLY BE FREE WITH YOUR MESS. 

BUT IT ALSO MIGHT LOOK LIKE A PAPER AND A PENCIL. MAYBE EVEN AN ERASER WORN TO METAL. 

BOTH OF THESE ARE ENTIRELY VALID, AND SHOULD BE TREATED WITH THE SAME LEVEL OF EMOTION AND RESPECT.

SOMETHING I REALLY ENJOYED HEARING, I CANNOT RECALL FROM WHO OOPS, 

WAS THAT YOU CANNOT CREATE NEW EMOTIONS.

YOU HAVE A SET SPECTRUM OF THEM, AND YOU FEEL THEM ALL IN DIFFERENT LEVELS. GENERATING NEW RESPONSES AND FEELINGS.

I LIKE TO REFLECT THAT INTO CREATIVITY.

IT, AND PASSION, EXIST, AND ARE POWERED, ENTIRELY BY AND IN OURSELVES.

YOU CAN HAVE ALL OF THE MONEY FOR ALL OF THE SUPPLIES AND ALL OF THE SPACES, 

BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT TOOL IS THE ONE THAT EXISTS INSIDE OF YOU. 

THAT HAS HELPED ME A LOT WITH FEELING CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO INDULGE IN PASSION, NO MATTER THE SPACES I HAVE BEEN IN. 

ANYHOW, BY HAVING YOUR DESIGNATED SPACE, YOU HAVE CREATED A PLACE WHERE YOUR CREATIVITY CAN LIVE AND GROW.

A DIRECT TANGIBLE SOURCE FOR YOU TO TEND TO. 

SOMEWHERE WHERE YOUR THOUGHTS CAN TAKE ROOT, AND GROW INTO MIGHTY PROJECT PLANTS. 

IT GIVES YOU A PLACE TO BLOSSOM.

IT ALSO GIVES YOU A PLACE THAT YOU CAN LEAVE.

SOME FOOD IS ONLY COOKED BEST WHEN LEFT TO SIMMER. 

I EXPERIENCE THE MOST CREATIVE BLOCK, WHEN MY CREATIVE RESPONSIBILITIES ARE INTERTWINED WITH EVERY BIT OF MY DAY’S ROUTINE. 

CONSTANT REMINDERS THAT I MUST GENERATE IDEAS, AND BE ABLE TO MAKE THEM TANGIBLE. 

WHICH IS A MIGHTY TASK SOMETIMES!

WE MUST GIVE OURSELVES ROOM TO BE SILENT. TO OBSERVE. TO WITNESS. TO BE INSPIRED BY SOMETHING OUTSIDE OF OURSELVES. 

IT ALLOWS US TO BE EAGER TO RETURN TO THAT CREATIVE NEST WE HAVE MADE. 

EAGER TO WATER OUR PLANTS WITH WHAT WE HAVE GATHERED FROM THE DAY. 

WE CANNOT BE CREATORS ALL OF THE TIME. 

WE MUST TAKE THE TIME FOR INSPIRATION FORAGING. 

CHEERS IN YOUR CREATIVE FLOW!

-NADi