#i can't stand this skin
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#i read Motaz and Bisan's posts soon after the truce ended and isr**l began bombing again#my heart aches so much for them both#i imagine it must feel so much worse now that they've had a taste of a ceasefire#and isr**l ramped up it's bombings too#a THOUSAND dead in 24 hours#it hurts#it hurts so much#every day in her updates i see bisan growing angrier and more hopeless#she has no choice but to persist#but god#she's my age#she's an activist#she's a filmmaker#she wants to create art#and tell the story of her people#it hurts so much that we've forced her#to martyr those dreams#my soul feels wrong#i can't stand this skin#this world#it's such a wound upon the world#ang sakit ang sakit ang sakit#luha at galit lang ang pumupuno ng puso ko rn#why are we forcing these people to martyr their lives before they've had the chance to live them
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I'm not explaining why re-imagining characters as POC is not the same as white-washing, here of all places should fucking understand.
#personal#delete later#no patrick. “black washing” is not as harmful as white washing.#come on guys get it together#seeing people in my reblogs talk about “reverse racism” and double standards is genuinely hypocrisy#say it with me: white washing is intrinsically tied to a historical and systematic erasure of poc figures literature and history.#it is an inherently destructive act that deplatforms underrepresented faces and voices#in favor of a light-skinned aesthetic hegemony#redesigning characters as poc is an act of dismantling symbols of whiteness in fiction in favor of diversification and reclamation#(note that i am talking about individual acts by individual artists as was the topic of this discourse. not on an industry-scale)#redesigning characters as poc is not tied to hundreds of years of systemic racism and abuse and power dynamics. that is a fact.#you are not replacing an underrepresented person with an oft-represented person. it is the opposite#if you feel threatened or upset or uncomfortable about this then sorry but you are not aware of how much more worse it is for poc#if representation is unequal then these acts cannot be equivalent. you can't point to an imbalanced scale and say they weigh the same#if you recognize that bipoc people are minorities then you should recognize that these two things are not the same#while i agree that “black washing” can lead to color-blind casting and writing the behavior here is on an individual level#a black artist drawing their favorite anime character as black because they feel a shared solidarity is not a threat to you#i mean. most anime characters are east asian and i as an east asian person certainly don't feel threatened or erased. neither should you.#there's much to be said about the politics of blackwashing (i don't even know if that's the right word for it)#but point standing. whitewashing is an inherently more destructive act. both through its history of maintaining power dynamics#and the simple fact that it's taking away from groups of people who have less to begin with#if you feel upset or uncomfortable about a fictional white character being redesigned as poc by an artist on twitter#i sincerely hope you're able to explore these feelings and find avenues to empathizing with poc who have had their figures#(both real and fictional) erased; buried; and replaced by white figures for hundreds of years#i sincerely hope you can understand the difference in motivations and connotations behind whitewashing and blackwashing#classic bixels “i'm not talking about this chat. i'm not” (puts my media studies major to use in the tags and talks the fuck outta it)
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KISS X KISS X KISS: Love ii Shower (2023) "Sensei, you're so mean. I only want to be happy, but... It's hurting me. I got it."
#kiss x kiss x kiss#kiss x kiss x kiss love ii shower#kissxkissxkiss#nagumo shoma#takemoto yusuke#userrlaura#uservix#userfaiza#moonlightsdream#jdramaedit#jdramasource#asiandramanet#asiandramasource#jdrama#userharu#i have a million thoughts about this scene#the way naoki gives him the order to take off his clothes but he can't help but add 'please' to it#even when he tries to be assertive he chickens out but that doesn't matter in the end because it does have the desired effect on yamashiro#and of course the contrast between them is on full display here once more#naoki with the golden skin blonde hair and lighter clothes vs yamashiro and his completely black palette!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it's a power play and naoki of course is losing bc yamashiro naturally has the upper hand#also let's talk about the amazing acting choices here: the way naoki stands completely still#it's like he doesn't dare to make a wrong move#and even tho yamashiro is 'servicing' him here it's not naoki who's in control#mywork
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Hey, gentle recognition for the people who are taking care of themselves in "not aesthetically-pleasing" ways. To the people who have to do things they don't want to because they know they would suffer more if they didn't, to the people who have to brush their teeth with their fingers, to the people who have to use washcloths to bathe, to the people who need to punch pillows or scream into them to express their intense emotions, to anybody ashamed about the way they need to live and take care of themselves.
You are doing the very best you can with the hand you've been dealt. It's not easy, it's not pretty, but it sure as fuck takes so much to do these things. You are doing what is best for yourself, and I, for one, think you deserve to be proud of that. Self-care isn't easy. It isn't pretty, often, but it's something you shouldn't be ashamed of or hide away because it's deemed "grotesque" or "not really self-care (because self-care is pretty and non-threatening to 'normal peoples' senses)"
#mental health#mental health support#self care#like when i was still in school i would end up forcing myself to go because i knew i would feel worse if i hadn't...#...and i don't think people get how difficult that is. it isn't like you choose to be difficult when you struggle#and feeling ashamed about doing these things only makes the situation worse for them (the person struggling)#something i've just been thinking about#i hate this idea that self-care *only* looks like the 'healthy' person's treat days...#...like lighting candles around your bathtub and putting rose petals in the water...#...because that isn't the only aspect to taking care of yourself. sometimes it looks like forcing yourself to bathe and grieving...#...and using rough washcloths because you can't stand the feeling of your own skin and you can't stand how dirty you feel...#...and obviously i'm not saying that mentally ill people doing self-care is the only way it looks...#...but that it really doesn't help us when self-care is almost made into a 'non-threatening' activity that is pleasant and nice-looking#and of course the examples i used in this post were examples and aren't the end-all-be-all
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shopping for clothes online is like. do you want that in polyester? have you considered buying from shein? how about acrylic? shein tonight queen? this will look nothing like it does in the pictures by the way. are you a small, extra small, or size zero? don't forget that you can buy clothes from shein :)
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BTS Billboard Music Awards photoshoot (recolored) Suga
Unedited originals:
#bts#min yoongi#suga#bts suga#bangtan#bangtan sonyeondan#naver x dispatch#photos#yoongi pics#my recolors#my edits#let me photograph you#I will do your natural skin tone justice i swear it#like i literally hate how they whitewash all of them#but yoongi is pale enough without these people making him look like a corpse#as a general rule i really don't like editing another tog's work#even here where they will never see it and it doesn't actually matter anyway#but i can't stand for this#and i don't respect dispatch anyway lol#like these photos are absolutely gorgeous#but the color editing just ruins them#unfortunately i can't create pixels out of nothing#so this is as good as it gets
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they are going to mehnahnaroo
#my art#mission to zyxx#C-53#pleck decksetter#dar mtz#ok time for some of my appearance headcanons#i was just gonna give c little dot eyes but i was goofing around with the doodle#and i was like. oh actually little light up ocular sensors that look like 👁️👁️ are kinda funny#i'm kinda trying to hit the space where the juck bot frame could conceivably have the same inner workings as the c frame#but it's got more like. idk plating and synthetic skin and stuff#i also think that ideally this type of frame is supposed to be more fully covered? with skin. less visible joints#and is supposed to have a cooler better looking face#but they got it at a discount store that sorta refurbished it juuuuuuust well enough to sell#they also mention in the show that the eyes glow and the jaw comes off#if there were any other details i forgot about them#i like tellurians to be Pretty Much Human#but I do like the pointy ears interpretation for one main reason:#i can put perfect little pointy ones on tellurians that are the Standard for good looks (rolphus etc.)#and give pleck ones that are slightly larger and a little bent. i just think that's fun#i'm also a short pleck truther and do not believe he is skinny. that man is at least midsized. actually probably just midsized#cause if he were too big he would be too cool#ohh and first time drawing the k'hekk eye yayyyy. it should probably be nastier but i can only do so much#dar i really imagine round cause it's like the classic Big Guy shape and they have no bones in their head so it can't be that structured#bodywise my design is def inspired by tikkitronictonic and snuffysbox's designs#i was at a total loss on how to interpret the talons and chutes and flaps when I was listening and this is easy and smooth#maybe the only major difference is that i imagine dar is pretty hygienic and furry scales feel like they'd be hard to keep clean#with all the uh. goings on#so i've got those across the chest and arms and then the torso is smoother in my mind#also ik dar is supposed to be like twice pleck's size but it's hard to stand these people next to each other#my brother said they made up a thing called mass shifting in transformers g1 to excuse the scale issues. so i'll do it too. get off my case
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trying really really hard to do things that make my brain less likely to hate and kill me
#getting groceries curbside because i kind of can't stand grocery stores#getting mostly pantry + frozen meals + protein shakes so i'm still eating even when things are hard and stupid and bad#trying to have sun on my skin. at least a little#and like. read.#i always forget that reading books makes my brain feel alive#my lover let me borrow his copy of the foxhole court and i had a grand old time with it
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hi fellow neurodivergent people
i hate to jump on the "i think i might have adhd" bandwagon, but if i think i might have adhd, how do i bring it up to my care team as a 28-year-old cis woman who was a massive overachiever until i couldn't keep up the ruse anymore?
#idk what happened when i got laid off it seriously is like my brain BROKE i cannot do anything#i have not done much of anything in a year. and i think it's bc my coping mechanisms were 1. self-medicate but ESPECIALLY do that while#2. overcommitting. because it kept me busy and distracted. i excelled in school because i could focus on it without it giving me anxiety#school was honestly almost the only thing that didn't give me anxiety as a kid. and i never felt quite Right like i didn't feel like i fit#in with my peers. i've always felt like a human being that isn't a person. like something's not quite right. i excel but i feel like i'm#doing it wrong because it's SO hard for me. i graduated my BA and BS programs with a 4.0#but it came with the cost of alienating all of my friends and family and becoming really reclusive and weird and distant and anxious#but i really just wanted to do well at the one thing i felt i was good at. which doesn't seem like something i should take note of#idk. my life feels like a claustrophobic box. i feel like i'm buried alive and i can't get myself out because i can't work#because i can't focus. but maybe i'm just stupid and lazy and want everyone to take care of me forever so i can continue laying around doin#fuck all. which i do a lot because i'm chronically ill. idk. like is there ground to stand on here. i literally have zero friends rn#and i feel so so so sos so anxious any time i am working because i worry i'm going to do something wrong or forget to do something or make#lots of mistakes that get me in trouble. i'm so scared of making mistakes it keeps me from doing anything at all. but i get so anxious bc#i'm not doing anything! i'm wasting time! and i can't focus on anything when i AM working because i have to get up and pace#like i HAVE to move around or i start to feel like i need to peel my skin off like i'm an orange#like. is it anything at all. or is this just me being someone who has Other Stuff going on
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brb I'm declaring war on summer weather
#it's not the heat that gets me#nor the humidity#it's the weird sensory hell where I can't stand the feeling of my skin against my skin????#help
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Looking his very best, as much as he can anyhow (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#The Captain#The theme of this set is ZEX's hair! So I guess Max's hair really lol#But double really it's ZEX's hair because Max would never let this happen to his hair lol poor abused hair haha#Cute floofy ZEX is cute and floofy <3#He can't control the hair - no hair bones here unfortunately lol - but at least there's something around his head eh?#Max with a buzz cut! Ah!!! The problem is I love him no matter what so I think he looks cute literally anyhow haha#S'cold! As if ZEX wasn't already sensitive haha - he gets a buzz cut and is just ''?????'' the whole time#And then someone pets his hair and it upgrades to ''?!?!?!?!?!'' haha#Weird to not have anything in his peripherals too :0 Always /some/thing to the sides of his head!#I think he looks quite silly in the third one lol - I would say I drew his hair too short but it's actually more accurate isn't it#Max's hair is like chin/shoulder-length! I just can't help myself haha long flowing hair is so fun and pretty <3#No he's beautiful however I stand by it#ZEX with slightly damp but not actually clean hair haha of course it feels strange! Not just water in there!#Actually drawing his green ends for a change haha ♪ And the grey in his hair! ;; ZEEEX weh#You can just barely see I tried to use one of my skin-tone pencils from the Crayola set but it doesn't scan the best :P#Or apply the best honestly lol they're quite hard pencils - I'm used to a softer formula like the yellow and green there! Very soft and nice#Yaaay Captain hehe <3 This is what you get for trusting someone untrustworthy ZEX lol#Okay but the way I reacted to reading there was Yarn tied in his hair I had a Normal reaction and I'm Fine about it lol#I made it red for Funsies and no other reason lol - really it's just the pen I (still) always have on hand haha#There's some in my blue as well! Just not as obviously lol - no wait that's one of his colours too just ignore that <3#ZEX is adorable ♪ The alien not understanding human traditions and culture trope is so lovely on him#And honestly the Captain is a very good sport hehe <3 He takes a lot in stride! Good for him
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Really quick screencap sketches to celebrate the weekend finally arriving. These past few days have felt like years; I'm going to sleep all weekend
#mash#maxwell klinger#frank burns#my art#traditional art#Sorry about Klinger's skin looking kind of off#I tried my best to shade it but the lighting where I took the picture was harsh#and I had to edit the brightness and contrast as well to get the lines to stand out#I also struggled to draw his hat. And I drew the angle of his face wrong. But oh well. Im tired.#I hope you all enjoy this weekend as much as I will; I can't wait to sleep 8+ hours
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My beloved headphones are wearing down, despite otherwise still going strong for over two years. Scraped off all that pleather shit, now just to find my needles and thread
#rads talks#i bought backup ear thingies a few days ago but they're not gonna get here for a few months and I still use these nearly every day#can't stand pleather. why would you put something that degrades with contact to human skin and sweat on something that makes contact with it#fuck pleather!! all my homies hate pleather!!!#and no planned obselence allowed!! we use things until they're unusable and fix them by hand!!
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WHERE is this guy's fucking melanin dude what the fuck that only looks like he has BLOOD CIRCULATION not that he's supposed to be BLACK
#theo is rambling again#i avoid talking about genshin on this account and I don't even like the game that much#BUT FOR FUCK'S SAKE WHERE IS THIS DUDE'S MELANIN I CAN'T FUCKING STAND LOOKING AT HIM ANYMORE#someone PLEASE draw this fucker with box braids and darker skin or will i have to do it myself???#dude isn't even in the game already and people are already whitewashing the fuck out of him#(in that case making him even more pale than he already looks)#if i didn't hate this fandom i would have already done so many redesigns
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someohow even after all this time it feels like people are still managing to come out of the woodwork day and night to reveal that they don't give half a shit about human life, justice, mercy, dignity, equality....kidnlt old men i follow on fucking youtube will unmask themselves as violent racists who want palestinian children dead. my family is either to cowardly and self-absorbed to be informed about anything or they're slobbering for an easy answer so they can go back to tuning things out and pretending everything is or ever was fine. even my mom wants to desperately cling to kamala being Somehow Different. even supposedly/historically left media is just trying to fucking manifest it. we promise she's different guys we promise based on nothing because we want her to be different and in that we're revealing that our best case scenario is for a liberal one step left of center will say genocide is bad and then go back to imperial business as usual and we can all go back to playing american econimic socialist because i guess all of our morals and everything we stood for was just play pretend the entire fucking time.
#weeks ago i was watching to fucking majority report because i hate myself#and i just hear emma vigeland echoing in my head because someone called her on this spineless bullshit. calls her on kamala being no#different. same old genocide support but with more frowning and empty insulting hand waves towards the suffering of the palestinian people#and she says if they think there's no substantive difference they “just don't want to vote for a democrat.” and i want to rip my skin off#no you just want to vote for one. desperately. you want to feel like everything will be okay. you want to stop thinking about this so badly#that you will happily blind yourself and say lets go mamala and jump back on american fucking patriotism and try to drag you base along too#all of these ghouls just want the good old days where they can make fun of conservatives in peace and allude vaguely to thinking past#atrocities were bad. and i literally can't fucking stand it anymore
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i don't know if it's because i worked in the entertainment/music industry since i was a teen and still take the occasional job in it because i have some old skills that are sort of festering away and have worked with and toured with various artists, some of which i am a huge fan of and have posted about...so i have a very specific attitude that definitely comes from 'don't annoy the talent' being the first thing you're told
but i will never not be weirded out by people needing to know every single person in a production cast or crew for whatever media they like cause it's just not my thing. i don't know photographers or the PA or the AD or the AVL because i don't want to know. it's like logging onto the internet and seeing people actively stanning your coworker for being a contracted employee as part of a production that you're a fan of. that is what it's like. i don't want voice actors in my mentions because they're more accessible to the general public as opposed to an A-list celeb. jonathan bailey isn't sitting on his arse entertaining graha tia fans all day on the internet, he's booked and busy on bridgerton and thank god for that because we'd never hear the end of it would we.
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