#i can't add them to my healthcare

[treemaidengeek]

This.

As @bemusedlybespectacled said, you don't have to be in love or having sex to get married. You just have to understand what rights and responsibilities go with marriage, and decide to enter into that contract with another person. I know an aroace guy who found another nice aroace person with compatible life goals & roommate styles, & got married to protect each other.

I will add as a former hospice chaplain that advanced directives outweigh ordinary next-of-kin law in terms of medical care. By default your decision makers if you become incapacitated are, in order (specifics vary by state) :

spouse / registered domestic partner & child(ren);

Parent(s) & Sibling(s);

other family.

Note that "friends" are NOT on that list. I have literally had to track down estranged family members to get legal permission for a patient's longtime cohabitating bestie to make their medical decisions for them. (We were already listening to the bestie as much as possible, but they weren't allowed to do some really critical things.)

I've also had to negotiate among feuding siblings because the patient hadn't clearly designated WHO they wanted to be in charge, so decisions had to be made by consensus in a deeply dysfunctional family.

I've even had patients legally designate someone who WASN'T their spouse or adult child as their decision-maker, because they felt those family members would be too overwrought to make good decisions for their healthcare. And it sticks.

this might be because I’m a family law lawyer and also an old crone who remembers when marriage equality wasn’t a thing (as in, marriage equality only became nation-wide two months before I went to law school), but I have Strong Feelings about the right to marry and all the legal benefits that come with it

like I’m all for living in sin until someone says they don’t want to get married because it’s ~too permanent~ and in the same breath start talking about having kids or buying a house with their significant other. then I turn into a 90-year-old passive-aggressive church grandma who keeps pointedly asking when the wedding is. “yes, a divorce is very sad and stressful, but so is BEING HOMELESS BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT ENTITLED TO EQUITABLE DISTRIBUTION OF MARITAL PROPERTY, CAROLINE!”

[doffy3]

Please help a good friend of mine (disabled BIPOC trans woman) recover after cardiac arrest.

[ALT TEXT: Shits gotten very dakr insanely dark in my life idek what to do and at times im kept awake because of the cardiac anxiety and when that happens i have to stand up and keep myself stood up so that no complications happen and i think i need to get on beta blockers again which i was on when i was younger and had family healthcare. Now that im off that ive been looking into what clinics but i dont have a car so id have to do ride apps and whatnot. Add to that groceries are pretty scarce and my dad doesnt like spending money on them. Im genuinely just gonna sparingly use for food and save for the doctor trip because the big thing here. Like i said surviving cardiac arrest with no treatment nor rehab already leaves me at a big risk i always feel im on borrowed time.My cashapp is $latinolol and my venmo is @/imalwaysright i believe it was Im lucky im with my dad but the whole story is my abusive mother kicked me the fuck out for telling her not tohit my sister and scare my neice and i fucked off and took everything with me but since then ive been scared as hell. My dads getting me a job at a pizza place if his connections can get me in but everythings still so uncertain here and ive just been stressing out so much and losing sleep over this shit. Im sorry to ask abt this again i feel really ashamed to do so /END ALT TEXT]

Payment info: c*shapp $latinolol and v*nmo is @/imalwaysright

RBs are always appreciated even if you can't donate. Thank you.

[wolfislost]

Life as a Disabled Alterhuman

Let's talk about being alterhuman without being able bodied.

If you've never met me before, i'm a werewolf. I use the label of psychological otherkin, but nowdays I mostly just say alterhuman.

A lot of individuals in the community can relate to wanting to spend time in their natural ecosystem or habitat. Some of them don't live in a country where that habitat even exists.

Conceptually, I'm lucky. I'm surrounded by nature reserves that are an hour away at most. Some are much closer.

Every part of me wants to be out there, in the trees and bushes and soil, every week. I'm sure some of us ARE out there every week based on some of the responses I've gotten on my posts.

I can't be.

I'm chronically ill. Partly from birth, partly acquired later in life. My mobility is limited by my threshold for suffering. The more I move, the more i'll have to pay for it later. And those debts don't have an upper limit.

I would love to prioritise letting my animal out more, being in nature more, travelling more. Hell- even running. But not only would doing that wreck me over and over again, it would make it impossible for me to meet the demands and responsibilities of my human life.

As a werewolf, there's an internal pull towards more feral behaviour and imagery. But my chronic illness requires constant upkeep, constant maintenance. My wellbeing depends on frequent visits to professionals.

I've always dreamed of running off to a cabin in the woods. I'm sure many of you have. But it's patently impossible for someone like me, who relies so heavily on human healthcare to survive.

The truth is I wouldn't be able to function without humans to look after me. And I have responsibilities that come before my desires for freedom.

None of this stuff makes me any less of an alterhuman. Makes me any less of a werewolf. All of these smaller restrictions do add up to a certain kind of distance from the "ideal alterhuman" perhaps. But my identity has always been, and will always be, an internal thing for me.

I'm not a werewolf IN SPITE of being disabled.

I'm a werewolf who IS ALSO disabled.

[intersex-support]

Hi! I'm probably not intersex, and recently I've been trying to educate myself as much as possible on the intersex experience, entirely through reading posts from intersex people here on Tumblr.

I was wondering if there was any chance I could get some guidance on how I can best be supportive of intersex people both online and out in the wild! I try a lot to reblog everything I see on here and in general just treat everyone the same way, no matter if they're intersex or not, but I can't help but be worried I'll say something wrong out of being still on my journey to being educated.

So I thought I'd come here and just... ask?

What can I do to be the best ally I can?

In the same vein, do you happen to have any suggestions on sources I could use to educate myself further?

Thanks in advance!

Hi anon! Thanks for wanting to be a better ally.

I would recommend checking out the sources shared in this post.

I'd also specifically highlight that I think it's really important for allies to learn about intersex justice. Intersex justice is a specific movement and framework created by intersex people of color from the Intersex Justice Project that looks at intersex justice as a part of collective liberation, understands the important of cross-movement organizing, and recognizes the way that systems of power based on white supremacy and colonialism shape and enable intersex oppression. The seven principles of intersex justice are:

Informed consent

Reparations

Legal protections

Accountability

Language

Children's rights

Patient-centered healthcare

These are really important values to center your intersex allyship around.

I'll also share some miscellaneous tips for things to think about in your intersex allyship:

Listen to intersex people about our experiences, not doctors! The medical system plays a huge role in our oppression, and is not the expert on our experiences.

You're going to have to unlearn a lot more biases and myths than you might think you have to. Intersexism/compulsory dyadism shows up in a lot of small ways, like the fact there's only M and F boxes in forms, jokes about micropenises, beauty standards about body hair, and more. Keep an eye out for all these ways our society props up the sex binary, even though it's a myth.

Avoid DSD terminology, referring to "male" and "female" bodies, calling intersex a "third sex" and never use the h slur. Other terminology that isn't always bad, but often gets misused that can be good to keep an eye out for: AFAB/AMAB, biological sex (when people say that gender is socially constructed but sex is biological).

Research if there are intersex organizations in your country and join their email list! That's a great way to stay informed about if there's any current initiatives, protests, legislative proposals, or other forms of activism you can get involved in.

Speak up when you see intersexism in every space you're in, whether that's people advocating for normalizing surgery, using the h-slur, or otherwise talking in ways that dehumanize or isolate intersex people.

Figure out a way to bring intersex awareness to the spaces that you're in! Whether this is putting up posters for Intersex Awareness day in October in your neighborhood, work, and community spaces, hosting an event at an organization or club about intersex topics, watching an intersex film with your friends, even something like making intersex pride stuff for the Sims if that's a hobby of yours--those are all great ways to introduce more people to intersex topics.

Listen to the intersex people in your life about how to support them! A lot of intersex people have a lot of very different experiences, needs, and wants. We don't have universal experiences and there are many different opinions on things in the intersex community. A lot of us are also multiply marginalized and our intersex identities are shaped by that.

If other intersex followers have tips, please feel free to add on!

[fairuzfan]

shalom sister. i love your blog and your writing. reading your posts always fills me with fire, i can tell you have a good heart. donating to your campaign makes me feel so good because i trust you and truly you are doing gds work. anyway i wanted to ask you a question!

when i hear new things from gaza, stories of hamas doing X and IOF doing Y, i ask around and i’m not sure what parts of that story is true, if any. anyway idk what to believe all i know is that israel is committing acts of genocide and while the rest of the world is allowing this greatest evil, israel pretends that to be jewish is to be a colonizer. anyway some of my family are zionists, but i cannot sway them because they only know farsi persian and hebrew, aka only trust extremely biased sources.

anyway i am fluent in english farsi and hebrew but my arabic is trash ): so i feel like i can’t get the full picture from palestinians. all i can read are bonkers iranian papers and the disgusting zionist articles, it’s horrible because i know they’re both lying, just about different things. a palestinian opinion is the only opinion i care about right now! anyway it got me thinking. i just wanted to know if you have tips for verifying online research? or go-to non arabic websites? or even a translation app haha. i just want my family to see the truth!

shalom<3

shalom! thank you so much for reaching out, i really appreciate it.

personally, i use different sources for different material. i use middle east eye (specifically maha hussaini) and also mahmoud abusalama for videos of what it's like in the north. i use the electronic intifada interview podcasts to learn about specific things happening (i just finished watching this one about the collapse of healthcare in gaza). i would check out @northgazaupdates on here too. there's euromedmonitor as well.

and really, there are a lot of diaspora palestinians who are relaying what their family tells them, and they post on twitter a lot. someone i know does this is samah fadil. there's also @el-shab-hussein who translates things from Mona. here's mohammad smiry who is in gaza and tweets primarily in english. dr. mustafa elmasri also tweets in english too.

i would use al-jazeera, i have a fact checking guide here about any news source really. i don't use it as much but there's also the palestine chronicle. sometimes i use quds news network.

i really don't know much about hebrew media so i can't really tell you about sources i recommend there. i don't know if @bringmemyrocks or @rodeodeparis can perhaps provide some input?

i will say, if you're looking for hebrew palestinian media, i dont think there's too much because there's a ridiculous amount of censorship in '48 right now (honestly it's been going on for years atp) but what a lot of palestinians are doing is relying on internal networks. if you want, there are some israeli historians like Ilan Pappe and Avi Shlaim but I'm not sure if they write in hebrew. but they for sure write in english and provide a historical perspective from within israeli society itself.

this is what comes to mind rn honestly, but i haven't even touched on instagram because i haven't been on it in a while. i might add on later if i remember any really vital ones that i recommend.

[insipid-drivel]

Toxins, Venom, and Poisons in Historical Western Medicine: How Are We Not Extinct From Doing Some Of This To Ourselves?

This piece is an involuntary piece inspired by @writing-with-sophia's awesome post "Poison list", which is an accurate and succinct list of commonly known (and ancient!) poisons, venoms, and toxins that have been and were used for causing poisoning in ancient and recent history. I wanted to write this because what struck me by their post crossing my dash was, the sheer number of poisons listed that were - and even still are - used as mainstays for healthcare around the world throughout the ages!

OBLIGATORY DON'T BE A DUMBASS PSA: If you're planning on incorporating these poisons into your HISTORICAL-era writing, it's also important to remember that many of them were used for medicinal purposes at one time, too, and it's great you're interested in learning about the subject! And also, you shouldn't try ANY of these! I will not tell you how to do it at home if you DM me, so don't! You are not appropriately trained to do it! You will harm or kill yourself and possibly your loved ones if you fuck around with any of these and it will be 100% your fault and you absolutely should feel bad bout it! I've seen some of you idiots believe 4chan posts about making home-grown crystals using recipes for actual mustard gas and seen you being wheeled into the ER on the news! I will not feel bad if you get yourself hurt if you screw around with any of these plants, elements, or animals!

Resource blog plugs and PSA over, now for the Hilariously Poisonous Medicines:

If you're writing something that's meant to take place prior to the advent of our more modern understanding of poisons, venoms, and toxins, factoring in "this is toxic to me NOW, but what about 500 years ago?" can add a lot of opportunities for interesting plot elements to your story.

These can include someone accidentally poisoning themselves with a toxic drug or substance that wouldn't have killed them if they'd handled it properly - like tansy? Grows all over the place in Europe and England? That'll kill you if you harvest it too late in the season, but it's good for intestinal parasites when it's harvested early in the year and processed right.

Did the lady's maid really kill her mistress with belladonna? Or was she trying to secretly help her mistress get rid of an unwanted pregnancy?

The protagonist's children can't survive to make it to weaning age! Is the wetnurse a poisoner, or does the milkman hide that he sells sour milk by pouring Borax into it so no one could taste it and has no idea he's killing his clients' babies?

Nuance and cultural mores regarding historical views about poisons and toxins can make writing even more fun, dynamic, and interesting! Explore 'em!

Just... please don't try any of this crap yourself. You will poison yourself, it will hurt, you will die, and you will hurt the entire time you're dying. Using OP's master list alone, here's the flip side of these lethal beasts through the eyes of our distant ancestors who believed illness was caused by "vapors", "bad air", and "imbalanced humors":

Hemlock:

Used across multiple different cultures in history. When properly administered to treat a disease, poison hemlock was used to treat asthma, whooping cough, bronchitis, joint/bone pain, muscle cramps, and insomnia. Hemlock was most often used as a sedative and antispasmodic.

Arsenic:

Arsenic is a heavy metal, and so has been used in everything from making specialty dyes for wallpapers (Scheele's green is the most infamous arsenic-based paint; Queen Victoria once had a guestroom in her palace redone with Scheele's green wallpaper. The first dignitary to stay there had to be carried out and taken to emergency care after breathing astronomical amounts of arsenic dust from the wallpaper's paint), to medicine. Arsenic was especially commonly used in history to treat skin ailments ranging from acne, to psoriasis, to syphilis sores. It was also sometimes prescribed for menstrual cramps, upset stomachs, colic, and arthritis, among many, many other things.

Cyanide:

Uh... I have literally never found any evidence of cyanide in medicine, outside of its use in modern medicine as part of certain chemical lab tests for measuring urine ketone bodies that involve no contact with a patient whatsoever. Cyanide literally works in less than a few seconds to render your entire body incapable of absorbing OR using oxygen in your lungs or already existing in your blood. Cyanide is really only good at making things that breathe not breathe anymore.

Nightshade:

There are a lot of different "nightshades", so being specific is essential here. Potatoes are nightshades. Tomatoes are nightshades. Calling anything a "nightshade" does not inherently mean it's lethally toxic. Belladonna is probably the most notorious of the "deadly" nightshades, but to this day, is still used medicinally, and would actually be seen as a health and cosmetic mainstay in historical fiction, especially if your setting is in Italy!

Belladonna is an Italian portmanteau for "beautiful woman", because tinctures (water-based drops) of belladonna were commonly used by Italian women as eyedrops to dilate their eyes and appear more attractive, aroused, and desirable. Today, belladonna's eye-dilating effects are still used by optometrists to dilate the pupils! Belladonna has been, and still sometimes is used as an NSAID, general painkiller, motion sickness treatment, asthma medication, and even as a treatment for IBS.

Ricin:

As OP said, Ricin is derived from the toxin found in Castor Beans, and is surprisingly new as an official "the only reason this is made is to make someone dead" poison. Not only is ricin a popular "nobody would think to test for this!" choice in mystery/thriller writing, but it has been used for political assassinations in real life before. Georgi Markov, a Bulgarian anti-Communist dissenter and writer, was killed in 1978 with a 1.7mm diameter ricin-coated pellet shot into his thigh muscle by an unidentified assailant using a modified umbrella as a gun. He died 4 days later.

Historically, castor OIL has been used for medicinal purposes, especially for treating constipation, inducing labor in pregnancy, and as a topical skin moisturizer. If you've ever watched the opening scene in Disney's "Peter Pan", when the childrens' mother is trying to give them a spoonful of medicine each, she's actually giving them castor oil! Castor oil tastes really bad (so much so that flavorings like cinnamon were often added to try to muffle the taste), so the childrens' reluctance and disgust at their mom making them take their medicine is very realistic for the era the movie came out in!

Strychnine:

Another lethal poison that started life as a medicine/food additive. Strychnine is no longer used medicinally at all today, but historically, it was used to stimulate the heart, treat bladder and bowel incontinence, and limb palsy. Strychnine is a deadly-powerful muscle stimulant that, as a poison, causes horrifyingly painful full-body strictures (spasms) and destroys the cardiovascular system. (Fun fact: Strychnine and hydrochloric acid were historically mixed into cheap vodka to make knock-off gin, especially during the Georgian Era in England if the brewer didn't have or couldn't afford juniper berries!)

Snake Venom:

Seriously, do your research before you write an actual, real snake species using venom they don't produce! The Big 3 Forms Of Snake Venom are: Hemotoxic, Neurotoxic, and Cytotoxic. Specific snake species exclusively generate the same kind of venom (so a hemotoxic snake will ALWAYS produce baby snakes that also make hemotoxic venom). Aristotle himself wrote in 380 BC that certain snake venoms could be applied for treating fevers, smallpox, and leprosy, and there is even some evidence in the historical record prior to the 1800s that different cultures have experimented throughout the eons with using venom for converting into antivenom, but I've never found a source citing anyone making a successful form of antivenom until around the 1850s.

Digitalis:

OP really nailed the important thing about Digitalis, and that is it's cardiac benefits for certain people - particularly for treating congestive heart failure. Vincent van Gogh was actually prescribed epilepsy medication that likely contained Digitalis, aka Foxglove, and there are some prevailing theories about van Gogh's love of bright yellow paint as being either caused or exacerbated by the symptoms associated with digitalis use, which can cause an attraction to and increased visual sensitivity to the color yellow. In several portraits, including one of his own psychiatrist, van Gogh shows subjects presented alongside foxglove flowers. Digitalis is absolutely lethal if consumed or taken without expert guidance, however, because it's the mother ingredient of Digoxin. Digoxin isn't used as frequently as it used to be a few decades ago, but it's still used and prescribed today for certain forms of heart failure and heart disease. Digoxin was also, at one time, was also sometimes used to induce chemical abortions.

Lead:

Dear god, lead. Not only is it so slow to kill you that you'll think that the only way to manage your symptoms is with more lead, but lead poisoning can be a life-long crisis for a person who is regularly exposed to it. Humans have used lead for everything from plumbing, to paint, to our cutlery, to cosmetics, to medicine. While yes, it is very possible to ingest enough lead in a single sitting to die within hours or days, most sufferers of lead poisoning experience it for years or decades before the symptoms become obvious. Some archaeologists believe that the Romans used lead cutlery because lead has a unique reaction when we lick it: when you have lead coating your tongue, it makes EVERYTHING you eat suddenly taste 10x better. I learned this myself from going target-shooting with my mom at a gun rage as a teenager, inhaled gunsmoke (which contains lead), and went for lunch immediately after. Even though I was just eating a $5 meal from In-N-Out, my burger tasted so good I thought I was gonna have to change my pants. When I asked the rangemaster at the target place about it later, he literally said, "Oh yeah, lead makes the worst cooking taste like heaven."

The ancient Romans ate a lot of rotten, spoiled, and sour food, and so lead would've made it easier to eat it back then. But the neurological effects of lead poisoning are nightmarish. It's suspected that, in America, the #1 reason we had so many active serial killers in the country from the 1940s-2000s was because of leaded gasoline. Ever since leaded gasoline was banned? Serial and random violent crime rates have dramatically gone down, especially in metropolitan cities. Ancient Rome, too, gradually became an increasingly violent city as its population went up and its reliance on lead did. We're only just now starting to figure out how toxic lead actually is, so go nuts with using it as a plot element regarding subjects like "Why Are You Like This?"

Mercury:

Mercury is also known as quicksilver, because in spite of being a heavy metal, the temperature at which it melts into a liquid is very, very low compared to most other metals. The first Emperor of China, Qin Shi Huang, was rumored to be so obsessed with the notion of immortality that he would send his doctors on doomed voyages around the world searching for a legendary substance that would, indeed, make him immortal. Legend has it that some doctors who were tasked with the job found out about the last guys, and produced mercury before Emperor Qin Shi Huang and cried, "Here it is! I got it!" so they wouldn't end up doomed to drown at sea. Qin Shi Huang became so obsessed with ingesting and medicating himself with mercury that, when his legendary tomb was being constructed, he had a small-yet-accurate-to-scale map of China+the known world about the size of a football field with every body of water full of fountains of running mercury in his burial chamber. His tomb was rediscovered in the last couple of decades after archaeologists found suspiciously high levels of mercury in the soil on top of a "hill" that had been sitting in the countryside untouched for thousands of years. It turned out to be Qin Shi Huang's long-lost tomb.

Since those days, mercury has closely been associated in early medicine as a sort of cure-all, since it literally kills anything it touches (including people). Captain Blackbeard himself, the most notorious pirate in Western history (Western specifically; google who Zheng Yi Sao was), was known or widely believed to be a syphilis sufferer, and desperately sought infusions of mercury from ships he'd capture (and the doctors onboard) to treat it, believing like everyone did that mercury could cure syphilis. It can't. They just didn't understand back then that syphilis starts off surface-level, and then eats your brain years after the initial infection.

Aconite:

Again, ridiculously toxic outside of specific medicinal applications that still aren't safe today! Aconite, or wolfsbane, has historically been used as a heart sedative (for slowing the heart), diuretic, painkiller, and even used to induce sweating. Evidence of wolfsbane being used for medicinal purposes has been spotted here and there over thousands of years throughout the Greek, Roman, and Byzantine Empires, but its original use came about in Ancient Greece for hunting and culling wolves by poisoning bait-food with it. That form of hunting died out long before the European Middle Ages, but the name "wolfsbane" stuck. Mostly because in the Middle Ages, a lot of people believed werewolves were a huge problem, and kept wolfsbane handy to deter said werewolves.

Thallium:

Today, thallium is mostly used in the production of camera and eyeglass lenses. Before its toxicity was known about, it wasn't strange to hear of thallium being used topically to treat fungal infections like ringworm. Thallium was also sporadically used in treating typhus and tuberculosis, along with a wide array of sexually transmitted diseases.

This list doesn't even touch the tip of the toxic iceberg when it comes to the sheer quantity of hilariously dangerous toxins people have, or still continue, to use for medicinal purposes! In a Victorian-era English London middle-class townhouse setting alone, there were dozens and dozens of ways to poison or otherwise harm yourself just by going about your daily life. So, if you've got a period piece you're working on, or are just bored, you can pick an exact date and time in our history and learn just how terrifyingly comfortable our ancestors were with upsettingly dangerous substances and home remedies. You can also watch a massive docuseries, called "Hidden Killers" and hosted by historian Suzannah Lipscomb, among other historians and archaeologists, which deep-dives into the hidden and unknown dangers of living in eras from Tudor-Era England, to the Post-WWII Reconstruction Age.

As a final note: I am NOT bashing Chinese or Eastern medicinal practices here, and in fact deliberately have gone out of my way to not include any references toward culturally-sanctioned medicinal practices in Eastern and Southeastern Asia. This post is specifically related to the history of WESTERN medicines and their associated history. I am not, nor have I ever been, a doctor of any traditional Eastern medicinal practices, and do not pretend to know better. Sinophobes are unwelcome in my blog space.

[sag-dab-sar]

Clarification: Generative AI does not equal all AI

💭 "Artificial Intelligence"

AI is machine learning, deep learning, natural language processing, and more that I'm not smart enough to know. It can be extremely useful in many different fields and technologies. One of my information & emergency management courses described the usage of AI as being a "human centaur". Part human part machine; meaning AI can assist in all the things we already do and supplement our work by doing what we can't.

💭 Examples of AI Benefits

AI can help advance things in all sorts of fields, here are some examples:

Emergency Healthcare & Disaster Risk X

Disaster Response X

Crisis Resilience Management X

Medical Imaging Technology X

Commercial Flying X

Air Traffic Control X

Railroad Transportation X

Ship Transportation X

Geology X

Water Conservation X

Can AI technology be used maliciously? Yeh. Thats a matter of developing ethics and working to teach people how to see red flags just like people see red flags in already existing technology.

AI isn't evil. Its not the insane sentient shit that wants to kill us in movies. And it is not synonymous with generative AI.

💭 Generative AI

Generative AI does use these technologies, but it uses them unethically. Its scraps data from all art, all writing, all videos, all games, all audio anything it's developers give it access to WITHOUT PERMISSION, which is basically free reign over the internet. Sometimes with certain restrictions, often generative AI engineers—who CAN choose to exclude things—may exclude extremist sites or explicit materials usually using black lists.

AI can create images of real individuals without permission, including revenge porn. Create music using someones voice without their permission and then sell that music. It can spread disinformation faster than it can be fact checked, and create false evidence that our court systems are not ready to handle.

AI bros eat it up without question: "it makes art more accessible" , "it'll make entertainment production cheaper" , "its the future, evolve!!!"

💭 AI is not similar to human thinking

When faced with the argument "a human didn't make it" the come back is "AI learns based on already existing information, which is exactly what humans do when producing art! We ALSO learn from others and see thousands of other artworks"

Lets make something clear: generative AI isn't making anything original. It is true that human beings process all the information we come across. We observe that information, learn from it, process it then ADD our own understanding of the world, our unique lived experiences. Through that information collection, understanding, and our own personalities we then create new original things.

💭 Generative AI doesn't create things: it mimics things

Take an analogy:

Consider an infant unable to talk but old enough to engage with their caregivers, some point in between 6-8 months old.

Mom: a bird flaps its wings to fly!!! *makes a flapping motion with arm and hands*

Infant: *giggles and makes a flapping motion with arms and hands*

The infant does not understand what a bird is, what wings are, or the concept of flight. But she still fully mimicked the flapping of the hands and arms because her mother did it first to show her. She doesn't cognitively understand what on earth any of it means, but she was still able to do it.

In the same way, generative AI is the infant that copies what humans have done— mimicry. Without understanding anything about the works it has stolen.

Its not original, it doesn't have a world view, it doesn't understand emotions that go into the different work it is stealing, it's creations have no meaning, it doesn't have any motivation to create things it only does so because it was told to.

Why read a book someone isn't even bothered to write?

Related videos I find worth a watch

ChatGPT's Huge Problem by Kyle Hill (we don't understand how AI works)

Criticism of Shadiversity's "AI Love Letter" by DeviantRahll

AI Is Ruining the Internet by Drew Gooden

AI vs The Law by Legal Eagle (AI & US Copyright)

AI Voices by Tyler Chou (Short, flash warning)

Dead Internet Theory by Kyle Hill

-Dyslexia, not audio proof read-

[windvexer]

I'm frustrated at the healthcare insurance companies and while I can't do much in my personal life because I don't hold a high position in government or anywhere else (regretfully). I want to use magic against them. I hear that the book of Psalms are great for using for spells. Do you think it's worth my time to write down a specific Psalms on paper and physically mail my spell to their offices? It's a Psalms Against the Power and Malignity of Enemies. Should I add herbs or anything in the envelope that would assist?

I don't know which Psalm that is, to reference it's usually best to include starting chapter and verse number (e.g. Psalms 138:7).

However, no, I would not recommend mailing written spells to government offices in an envelope filled with herbs. This seems like a great way to get in actual trouble, although presumably you would be wise enough to not include a return address.

I just really doubt the efficacy of such an operation. Here is what I imagine would happen:

The minimum wage admin assistant will open your letter to scan it in and have it digitally delivered to the correct person. They will see it is a Psalm without reference to an ongoing claim, and without a valid business inquiry attached.

They will ask a supervisor what to do. The supervisor will check it, see that it is not valid business mail, and have it tossed without scanning it.

If you do include botanicals, it may induce panic in the admin who has just opened an envelope with unidentifiable crushed plant matter. If the admin has the rare misfortune to be allergic to a plant that you include, things can go south very quickly. Imagine you pop open an envelope and go into anaphylactic shock from cinnamon that a witch spooned in to target your boss's boss's boss's boss's boss.

Instead, try using the Psalms yourself as a focus point for petitioning angels or saints, working over effigies, enchanting candles, and so forth. Although many people believe the Psalms hold inherent power, generally they must be worked on to some degree; by praying and reading them with fervent belief, usually, and perhaps as part of a larger ritual.

I do not believe just writing and mailing a Psalm, with or without herbs in the envelope, would very much constitute magic. And there is probably more you can do at home without getting the postal service involved.

[cosmowes]

Planning Ahead

this is something i'm still working on, actually. keeping a visual log of everything i need to do has been really useful, but it's still a pretty new habit for me.

the issue is that i really, really hate taking the time to have those things be nice- because then i get unmotivated when the load gets heavy and i can't keep it that way. no cute advice, this is my planner for solely function.

SHORTHAND. i use shorthand for everything. a list of my favorites:

ESP - spanish, or FR - french (really works for any foreign language class)

ENG/ELA - english language arts

MT (math) - CALC (calculus) - PCLC (precalc) - STAT (statistics) - ALG (algebra) etc

GEO/HIS (geography or history)

SCI (science) - BIO (biology) - CHEM (chemistry) - FNS (forensics) - PHYS (physics)

GFX (graphic design) - DRM (drama) - HLC (healthcare) - BSN (business) etc... for whatever electives you have, lol

PJ (project)

HW (homework)

CFA/QZ (common formative assessment/quiz)

SD/SG (study/study guide)

PKT (packet)

SM (submit)

UG (ungraded)

SUM (summative)

FORM (formative)

PG _ (page _)

NSR/EC (not school related/extra curricular)

DNO (due night of)

DIC (due in class)

DEOC (due end of class)

i combine these for little nicknames like ESPPJ, MTPK, GFXPJ, etc. or DRM (info) NSR, GFXPKT EC

DESCRIPTION. i add a quick description of the item, just so i know what it is. usually just the actual assignment name or what it entails. if it's at home reading for english, it'll say "ENGHW Reading PG __-__". a drama script might say "DRM Script DEOC"

DATE. i always add the due date. i write it as a fraction so that it takes up a tiny bit less space. if i know, this is where the time it's due is added too.

URGENCY. i had another post about how i decide an assignment's urgency here, so i throw one of these numbers on the end.

DON'T CARE ABOUT CUTE! the point of this is to keep info. build the habit for a while, and once you have logging things as a habit, you can make it cute. but if you're already having trouble building the habit, adding more work will make it more difficult in my experience. always add onto your habits that already exist.

USE IT! i've also seen people have full planners that are so so cute and then just. never use them??? you're making this so that you have a way to keep track. making it, and then just throwing it in your bag to not be seen until tomorrow is defeating the point. use what you made.

images from pin 📌 - search white study aesthetic

[nebulousbrainsoup]

Hard hours, you say? 😈

I am usually not so bold with requests. And it's quite early. ㅋㅋㅋㅋ But they got me acting up with this comeback. Specifically, Mr. Song Mingi. Just so damn disrespectful. I can't even function. 🫨

Anywhoooo. Pretty please, may I request crossing paths with sharp shooter Mingi at a bar?

You're the best and I hope all goes smoothly with your health appointments. *hugs* 🫰🏿⛰️💜

no YOU'RE the best noona 🥺 💛 the health appointments are health appointmenting in true us healthcare fashion 🤪 but I just got the first scan scheduled so there's progress!! hugs 🫂 🫰🏼sorry this took forever, my body decided it needed more than 4 hours of sleep lmaO

ANYWAY mingi has also been wrecking the absolute HELL out of me too, and he knows what he's doing to us. all the outfits??? the energy his bringing??? and i've been having so so many thoughts about the body roll in the mv like. sir that was FOUL. got me thinkin about those hips 😵‍💫 plus the "You could be my doll" line in Dune????? hello????? let's add him to the EVOLVEverse crew, shall we?

lil bit of crack at the end sorry i HAD to

masterlist | join my taglist | buy me a coffee? | divs from @cafekitsune

smut & warnings below the cut, 18+ enjoy & minors don't touch :)

tags/warnings: fem!reader, outlaw!mingi, sharpshooter!mingi, ft. 2ho, pwp, no use of y/n, language as always, mild alcohol use, gun (singular), i know he's our soft boy but he's quite ominous, use of pet names (doll, baby, slut), slight dom!mingi, i'm on my big dick mingi agenda, semi-public sex (empty bar), oral (f!receiving), fingering, slight overstim, unprotected sex (crowd booing), lil bit of objectification & degradation, unedited

The first thing that caught your eye was whatever was spray painted over the WANTED posters outside; some amalgamation of an 'X' and a 'Z' covering the faces of Night City's infamous rebels. You scoffed, shaking your head softly. They'd be fixed in the morning, so why waste the paint?

The second thing that set you on edge was the music. Usually, on a Friday night, your favorite bar was packed to the brim with people, catching end of week drinks with coworkers, meeting with dates they'd never see again, or partying with friends. The music was barely audible inside on the slowest of weekends, much less outside the main doors. Anxiety roiled in your gut, but you continued on your path, cautiously pushing past them.

Only one man stood in the otherwise empty tavern, his eyes snapping up from the drink he was making to zero in on you, and your heart leapt into your throat. There was something dangerous about his gaze and that familiar silhouette, and you froze in place as your brain scrambled to piece the puzzle together. His lips twitched up in a smirk and, once he had put the finishing touches on his drink, he shifted to the side, revealing the WANTED poster hanging behind the bar and the rifle strapped to his back.

Fuck. You were so screwed. You took a step backward, ready to turn on your heel and bolt, forgetting you ever saw Song Mingi or knew the location of this little bar. He turned back to you, seemingly sensing your want to flee, and narrowed his eyes.

"I wouldn't," he muttered, and your feet rooted to the spot.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, you stared back at him, the silence stretching to an uncomfortable level, until you finally found your voice to break it.

"W-What did you do to them?"

He tilted his head. "To who?"

"The..." you trailed off motioning around the empty bar. "Everyone. There had to be people here."

He nodded, sipping his cocktail, completely unbothered. "There were." You blinked at him, annoyance building, and gestured for him to continue. He sighed, slinging the rifle off of his back and setting it on the bartop. "When you bring one of these into a packed place like this, folks tend to scatter."

"And you let them?" He nodded. "Aren't they going to call the cops on you or something?"

Mingi snorted a laugh, downing his drink before making his way around the bar to stand in front of you. "Do I look worried to you, doll?"

You swallowed thickly, shaking your head. "C-Can I go too, then?"

He took a step back, eyes raking over you, and you felt heat flush through your body. "You could always stay for a drink. That's what you came for, isn't it?" Despite your mind's protests, you nodded. "Then have a drink with me, and tell me what a pretty thing like you is doing frequenting a place like this."

---

This was wrong, so unbelievably wrong. You should have never come in here. But you had, and now here you were, the hand of a wanted criminal resting on your thigh as your eyes darting frantically between his own and his lips. Maybe you could blame your impressive lack of restraint on the adrenaline drop you were facing, or the fact that none of this really felt real, anyway. Whether he sensed or saw your internal struggle, you weren't sure, but Mingi's hand shifted off of your thigh, catching your chin between his fingers.

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

You didn't know what came over you, but in an instant, you had tugged him in, slotting his lips against your own. He groaned lowly, tongue quickly swiping over your lower lip and slotting against your own as you let out a sigh. He stood from his stool and dragged you up with him, pressing your back against the bar so he could slot one of his thick thighs between your own. You whined, letting your head roll back, and once your lips parted, he let out a soft chuckle.

"Well, that's not what I was expecting, but I can't say I'm complaining."

Immediately, you wanted to wipe the proud grin off of his face, but before you could snap back at him, his lips were on yours once more.

---

Your moans echoed off of the vaulted ceilings, the music once again barely audible underneath them. Mingi was on his knees in front of you, his tongue working magic over your core and two of his thick fingers pumping in and out of you, the slick sounds adding to the symphony echoing around you. You tugged at his hair, the unending pleasure beginning to become too much as you neared your second climax, halfway between tugging him closer and pushing him away.

"M-Mingi," you whimpered, and he groaned against you, eyes blinking open slowly. "I can't, 's too quick, ha!" You jolted, grasping at the bar under you as he sucked at your clit again, another of his fingers prodding at your hole.

"One more for me, doll," he purred, slowing his pace to press inside of you. "Gotta make sure you can take my cock.

"'S too much, Mingi," you muttered halfheartedly, his name turning into a needy moan as his mouth returned to you, tongue soothing the sting of the stretch his fingers brought.

He allowed you a moment to adjust, his lips pressing a kiss to your clit and pulling a quiet sigh from you. This was a sight he could get used to, he thought, your blissed out face above him and your thighs tossed over his shoulders. His cock twitched in his too tight pants, and he groaned against you, the sensation sending your hips bucking toward him, and within moments he had picked back up his relentless pace.

---

The bliss when he finally pressed his thick cock into you was like nothing you'd ever experienced. Your lips were parted in a silent scream, only stilted, broken noises of pleasure leaving you. He chuckled quietly, the sound rumbling through his chest and felt through your back as he leaned over you, pressing a soft kiss to the back of your neck. The bar had proven slightly too high for even his tall stature, so he'd spun you around, bending you over a nearby table. Initially, you had protested, offering to brace yourself where you had already been standing if it meant getting his dick in you sooner, but as quickly as your thighs had begun shaking, you were glad he had taken the lead.

"S-So much," you gasped out, melting underneath him.

"Now you see why I needed to prep you so much? I don't like breaking my toys on the first use, baby." The whine that left you as he pressed in further, his words amplifying your pleasure, pulled another chuckle from him, and he ran a soothing hand over your spine. "Think about how full you're gonna feel here in a minute."

You squirmed, hips canting back toward his own, and the hand on your back shoved you into the table. "Mingi, need more. Need all of you."

"You sure you can take it, doll? You're only a little over halfway there."

You let out a frustrated groan and wiggled your hips again, twisting as well as you could to face him. "Yes, dammit. Split me open if you have to, just give me your cock."

He sneered, the hand on your back snapping up to your shoulder, clamping down to yank you back on his cock as he slammed his hips into your own. A scream ripped from your throat and you grasped at the edge of the table, your breath coming in ragged bursts and your vision going white for a moment. When it cleared again, he was running his thumb soothingly over the nape of your neck, shushing you quietly.

"See why I wanted you to be patient, baby? Hurts when you're not ready for it, huh?"

You groaned, body going lax against the table. "Hurts s' good, Min. Wanna... More," you babbled, eyes slipping shut. "Ruin me."

He clicked his tongue, smile audible. "Cock drunk for me already, huh? What a good little slut. Take what I give you nicely then, okay?"

You nodded eagerly, and at your confirmation, he set into a brutal pace. You clawed at the table frantically for anything to ground yourself against as he bent over you, lips pressed to your ear. Every grunt and growl had shivers lighting down your spine, your walls fluttering around him as heat coiled in your gut.

He had brought you to two climaxes already, watched you beg and moan for him, and from the moment he was sheathed in your tight heat, Mingi knew he wouldn't last long. He told you as much when he braced himself over you, breathing the words into your ear as he nipped at the lobe. You whimpered, shifting under him to reach for your swollen clit and letting him drape one of your knees over his arm for better access. The shift in angle had you crying out as his cockhead began to drag over your sweet spot, your pleasure amplifying tenfold.

He had no warning before you were clamping down on him hard, your orgasm triggering his own, his hips stilling with how tightly your walls gripped him. A broken groan fell from his lips as your cunt milked him for all he was worth, your own whimpers melding with it, body going limp and eyes sliding shut. When you both came back into your bodies, he pressed a soft kiss to your temple and slowly pulled out of you. You bit back a pitiful noise at the loss of his warmth, slowly propping yourself up on your forearms as he reached for something to clean you both with.

For the second time that night, your heart jumped into your throat as your eyes fell on the two men standing by the doors, still rattling shut behind them. Just beyond it, you could see the familiar outline of a car, its roof topped with a light bar. The taller of them had an unimpressed look focused on your companion, while the shorter of the two was staring, wide-eyed, at you spread out on the table, his ears flushing and eyes turning to the floor the moment you caught him looking. Scrambling to put yourself back together, you opened your mouth to speak, but the taller one beat you to it, clearing his throat. Mingi spun, eyes wide for a moment as he took in the two cops, before he broke out into a grin.

"Perfect timing. Yunho, Jongho, this is... Shit, what did you say your name was?"

Your eyes went wide as the two newcomers groaned, rolling their eyes heartily. "Seriously? You're the worst," the younger one sighed, pushing the doors open and making his way back out to the car. Shaking his head, the other one quickly followed.

"See? No need to worry about the cops."

You blinked, glancing rapidly between Mingi and the door. "What the fuck?"

© June 2023 nebulousbrainsoup | all rights reserved. do not copy, repost or translate my work.

[catboybiologist]

Have you seen any research or documentation on progesterone in mtf hrt? I've seen some people online swear by it, but caution that you shouldn't start too soon. I'm personally considering it, but cautious about jumping the gun. If you have any thoughts I'd love to hear them. Thanks!

So first off, I am not a medical professional.

The tl;Dr is that there has been no conclusive formal study on progesterone's effects when used in HRT, but there is overwhelming anecdotal evidence that it increases breast size and improves mood regulation.

The reason why you don't add progesterone until later in HRT is because the progesterone receptor is regulated by estrogen. Without sufficient time on estrogen, progesterone is useless. It's like giving your body keys before you have doors to open them with. Ya gotta spend some time building those locks. Or something. I'm bad with metaphors. But anyways.

Generally, for these questions, all I'm doing is summarizing information from the UCSF trans healthcare guidelines, or going like one citation layer deep.

Key quotes from here:

"There have been no well-designed studies of the role of progestogens in feminizing hormone regimens. Many transgender women and providers alike report an anecdotal improved breast and/or areolar development, mood, or libido with the use of progestogens."

"....the risks of using progestogens in transgender women are likely minimal or even absent"

The "villain" of the progesterone story is DHT, an androgen that activates the same receptors as testosterone and therefore largely has the same effects. Excess progesterone has the possibility of being metabolized into DHT. Personally.... I find it doubtful that this has a significant effect on masculinization, especially if your E levels have been stable and good for a while. My hunch is that some trans women have fluctuating E levels, and start intrinsically correlating temporary masculinization with starting prog, even though it's kinda random. There's just not enough added progesterone to make that much of a difference, considering that there's an extra step to metabolize DHT, and that it only happens in small amounts normally. But again, I have no basis for that.

One citation layer deep is this review paper (citation 17):

It's unable to draw any conclusions.

Unfortunately, these studies are going to take a while to come out, because no one's really trying to study it. Most trans woman aren't being tracked by scientists. But if my spreadsheet format is any help, maybe we can get some "citizen science" data going on self reporting? I doubt there will ever be enough. But hey, can't hurt.

In any case, progesterone is part of cis female development, menstrual cycle mood regulation, general mood regulation, and breast development. The theoretical basis is sound and the risks are minimal. My personal vibe on it is that there's no reason not to start it after 6 months or so of sufficiently high blood estrogen levels.

[friendly-neighborhood-arsonist]

"No self diagnosis!"

Ok! I'm from a middle class family so for me personally affording one isn't a massive issue but for people in poverty it can be! However my parents don't believe I'm autistic because I don't show the stereotypical 8 year old white boy autism. My general practitioner is ableist and doesn't know shit about mental illnesses she diagnosed me with add instead of adhd even though add hasn't been a thing for like 10 years. Both my parents and general practitioner only believe in stereotypical 8yo white boy autism. I don't have access to a psychiatrist or therapist. So who is going to find me a general prac or psychiatrist who isn't ableist and is actually knowledgeable and up to date, transport me to them (I'm a minor, can't drive and with how shit us healthcare is might even have to fly to get a decent doctor) and pay for it? (my parents sure as he'll won't even though they have the money)

My adhd, autism and various other physical and mental conditions prevent me from working 95% of jobs so "just get a job and pay for it yourself" isn't a feasible option. And I literally cannot wait for neurotypicals to deem me worthy to use the language and knowledge of autism via an official dx.

My autism doesn't magically start when I get diagnosed with it. It always has and always will affect me 365, 24/7. Diagnoses are not accessible for many many autistic and neurodivirgent people.

If you have issues with self diangosises why don't you work to make official diagnosises accessible for EVERYONE and then we can talk. Until that day self dx remains an essential tool for neurodivirgent people.

[sillylovingpupper]

So you guys did it again.

So, as of my writing this, Trump is the presumptive winner of the US Election. He hasn't actually won, but barring a major upset he's going to. This time, he's won the popular vote (by a lot, actually, 6 million as of my writing) so there's really not a lot to fall back on. Wow. I have to say, I'm a little less optimistic this time than the last time I wrote a post like this. The Republicans are setting up to have a (narrow) majority in Congress, too. There's a pretty good chance of a full Red government.

So, what do we do now? First and foremost: don't panic. Take a few days, breathe, maybe see how the final votes shake out (we may still get a narrow House victory), but take a few days. Trump isn't going to be president until January. Nothing terrible will happen in the next week or two if you take this chance to rest. Well, not politically. I can't speak for your personal life.

I said something similar in 2016, and I'll say it now. Trump and his people can not change the course of the country quickly. The way this country was designed explicitly prevents that. There's fewer protections now than there were, but the really big, drastic changes he wants to do require an Amendment, which relies on a 2/3rd majority in Congress. The Republicans do not have that. The Trump Republicans don't even have a majority in Congress. So as much as he wants to, he can't gut the country day one. Some of the stuff he wants to do, he can do under Emergency Powers, but not a lot of it. It's not likely that the United States has been dealt a fatal blow today.

However. He can and very likely will make things very difficult for us for the next four years. A lot of Federal Offices are setting up to be staffed by complete loons more interested in breaking things than fixing them. We'll almost certainly see abortion and transgender rights being carved away in the early days of his Presidency, and he has a lot of support for his economic plan. Also he plans to add Musk to his administration, and we know what he tends to do to companies. We'll also probably see a good amount of healthcare in general get cut, and further reduction on corporate restrictions. Trump and his allies are coming into this with a plan this time, as opposed to 2016 when I think even Trump was surprised he won. It's not going to be a big, loud, destructive thing, but there will be damage. This isn't the end, though.

Many of you reading this may feel helpless right now, that's there's not much you can do. You're disabled, you're exhausted from work, you're deep in a red state and in the closet. It's okay to not do something immediately about this.

Living is a rebellious act right now. It's important that you survive. If you have to keep your head down to do it, then do it. Many more of you may be feeling like you can't do enough. Like the only solution is an armed revolt. That may be the case. That's not something I'm really invested in being a part of, for many reasons, but it may be the case, in the worst case scenario. What's even more important, though, is that we come together. Look after each other. Trans people, immigrants, they're in the crosshairs right now, and if you can do something to make them safer, by all means, please do it. If Trump gets his way, a lot of access to education, health, and safety will be curtailed for all of us. This is the time when we pick up where the government steps off. This is the time when we look to our communities, both literally next door as well as online. A strong community trumps the government every time. That's ancient knowledge. It's why the ability for people to organize is one of the first things on the chopping block. So build a community, and be smart about it, especially if you're in a red area. Remember, too, that one of the biggest tools in the fascist toolkit is to divide us along whatever lines they can find. Don't let them. Hold tight. If the person next to you has believes in things that disgust you? As long as they're not harming other people with them, don't push them away. The more united we are, the harder it will be for fascism to grow.

71 million people voting for Trump isn't nothing. But it's less than a quarter of the population. There's still more of us. Protect yourself, protect your loved ones, and don't let anyone tell you it's over for this country. America only falls when we let it.

[sophieinwonderland]

The Republican Party shouldn't be allowed any political power as it is now tbh. The Democratic Party is NOT perfect, but the GOP straight up lies and spreads misinformation, loves to take away human rights (abortion and LGBT+ rights for example), and just don't like reality in general (conspiracy theorists are everywhere in the GOP). They weren't always like this (I could respect John McCain for example), and there are probably a few exceptions in the party, but today they have become the village idiot party.

Meanwhile, conservatives where I'm from are pro-choice, pro LGBT+ rights (the previous party leader of the conservative party was a gay married man even, and very popular), pro doing something about climate change, and are generally good people that cares about the people.

I want to add that I don't hate right-wingers (though I generally don't agree with them), but the right wing politicians in the US are generally the types of people you don't want ruling a country in the 21st century.

That, in my opinion, is the #1 reason to vote for The Democratic Party in this election. Because the GOP don't genuinely care about the people and reality. Vote these people out until actual good conservatives come along.

All of this!

Do you know what I think really best to demonstrates the current Republican party though?

Part of the Affordable Care Act, when it passed, included a Medicaid expansion. This was essentially free money for the states provided by the federal government. It's money that would go into their healthcare systes. Money that would go into their hospitals. Money that would pay for treatments for people who desperately needed it. And money that would have ultimately benefited the local economies in these states.

Republicans couldn't have that. The Republican governors in red states refused to accept the Medicaid expansion. Because doing so would make the Affordable Care Act look good. You can't spend years fear-mongering about Obamacare and how terrible it is, and then allow it to actually save people's lives in the states where you need people to vote for you.

The Republican party has become a party that exists to maintain power. They don't want power to help the people. They want to manipulate the people to help them maintain their power.

And to do that, rather than try to actually help people improve their lives, they whip people into a state of fear. They present enemies around every corner that people need to be afraid of. They need to make people believe a fiction where America is being invaded, where our cities are war zones, where LGBT people are grooming their children, and migrants are eating their pets!

They will tank the economy every single time that they are in power, leave Democrats to clean up the mess, then blame it on these imaginary enemies they made up.

And as was proven by their refusal to accept the Medicaid expansion, they don't actually care if they have to kill their own constituents to maintain their power.

[tw1stedthicket]

You know, what? I feel super fucking salty. About kinda everything related to my former time in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But in this moment in particular, salty that there isn't quite a developed way in their system to address people who wish not be contacted unless those people pursue the legal process of having their names removed off the legal church records and petitioning the help of them to "undo a contract of religious affliation". I've told people a few times before that I do not wish to be contacted, but I still am, and I know the reason is because there's not really a way for them to have a continuity of records that demonstrate lack of membership. Right? Like that makes no sense. If you don't wanna be part of it, then your name oughta be removed. But they have to keep it on there. I wish there was a way to like, "inactivate" it in some way. Maybe add a note with some days of correspondence where I stated I wished not to be contacted. Maybe that's the part of me that works administrative stuff in healthcare talking? Or the part of me preparing to document every note as a counselor? But I have enough sympathy for these people who contact me that like, they don't know any better. Especially because most of the people contacting me are new to the area. Also, me personally, I feel like my deconstruction would have been impossible had I not had people around me who showed me the clear dichotomy over time of people who were grounded in reality, accepting of the broader world, and legitimately intended to do so for the sake of unconditional love and friendship, and how irreverent it was but in the best, most authentic and fun way, and that was holy all on its own.

So I just kinda feel like, what the fuck is the point of targeting my hurt or anger at people still members. It's just gonna come across to them as mean-spirited and bitter. Nobody deserves harrassment either I might add, which sucks ass already because missionaries do get that from people; and although I believe in my heart that they're doing fucked up shit by audaciously trying to convince people to move from their own convictions to believe a con by a dude from the Second Great Awakening of American history that ended up spawning a church that functions mostly like a corporation (rich ppl at the top getting paid and making investments and people at the bottom earnestly trying their best to achieve worthiness) - I do also believe in my heart these people think they're motivated by love, that would have them leave their family if asked and tell other people that they can be with their families "forever" because of the restoration of the ability for us to "seal" families together in our church and by our authority from on heaven, and they would only be hurt because they are too mired in mind control right now. I've been waffling on about my desire to remove my records from church membership whilst still living at home and what PR shit that might cause for my TBM father and brother, but. I can't honestly say that being contacted every once in a while is like, all that offensive. It's a different story for others who have people try to "bear their testimony" at them or show up at their house unannounced. But I did kinda think of something.

I've tried to imagine what I might say to people a million times over, but. I think if the opportunity comes. I'm gonna flip the script. I won't shun them away like others. I won't invite them to try to argue the ins and outs of books of scripture, or answer for things they have been trained to just default to "I know it's true blah, blah, blah." I'm just gonna meet them on their level. Earnestly tell them I feel compelled by the Spirit to say that God loves all his children. I won't get into the weeds of belief or disbelief, because who the fuck knows and who the fuck cares anyway - live and let live, to me. But I'll say, God loves all his children. He loves you, missionaries. He loves me too. He made us all in His image. And I'll come out to them right there. "I'm a lesbian. And I know God loves all of his lesbian children." "I know God loves me enough that He wants to see me again with my wife, and my kids, and my family, in heaven with him throughout the eternities."

Let them sit with that. Sit with the notion that no, actually, God doesn't love you enough to save you, and you seeing him again isn't actually part of his plan. His plan is for you to prove yourself through perfection to be worthy to even stand in his presence. Let them try to find a way to worm around the fact that my future wife and kids *aren't* a family. Let them try to say that this vision of love and how clearly I feel it isn't actually love, that God actually hates sin, oh - but we don't hate gay people! Let them try to wrestle in their mind why their God has damned some people He made that there's no way they couldn't just...change the temple ceremony, right? There's no way they won't ever allow gay people who earnestly want to fall in love with people a way into the church and into heaven, right? That anybody gay they know who has a heart and wants to love, technically loves *different* than them, and it's a love that God can't stand to be in the presence of...but what if they can? What about how they can stand in my presence and feel that I am human? Will they reject that? That will be a question for their spirit and conscience.

I have a lot of quandries about why I left. But it will never happen until it touches your heart, your sense of humanity, your love for others, your integrity, your conscience, your deeply held idea of "choose the right" -- even "choose the harder right". I believe they feel it. I once did. Not my job to do anything for them. But I'll meet them where we are and let them chew on that, if ever given the chance, I think. Until one day I remove my records. And then one day, if they get married in the temple, and they decide to have kids, and their kid grows up, and one day their kid comes out to them, hey. They might think of me. Think of my love for my family and my future family. And I hope they'll realize it's the same.

[simpforsix]

my mom is a dietitian. she's the reason i avoided diet culture, while my health classes basically promoted eating disorders. here's some important things i learned from her. TW: discussion of diets, food, and eating disorders.

you probably don't need to keep a scale in your house. unless you have health problems that require you to monitor your weight and it is recommended by your doctor, most people don't need to know what their weight is constantly. easy access to a scale promotes anxiety about your weight. i only get weighed at visits to the doctor, so i know my weight bracket. you don't need to know every tiny fluctuation. this is especially important for kids. growing up, i had no idea of how much weight i was gaining, so i was never able to associate my weight on the scale to my value. kids can't understand weight, and since they're growing they have to grapple with the societal notion that weight gain is bad alongside gaining weight because of their growth.

eating unhealthy food is better than not eating. i have arfid and a lot of my safe foods are unhealthy, but my mom keeps them stocked in the house while also offering to buy more healthy food to try. you need calories to live, and if the only way you'll get them is from "junk food" then eat the junk food. it's easier to add in healthy foods as opposed to forcing yourself not to eat anything outside of that.

sugar is not the devil that it's been made out to be. things like fruit contain sugar, but that does not make them bad. there is a difference between processed sugar found in candy and sugar found in fruits and veggies. you don't need to cut out sugar to be healthy.

fat is also not evil. things like avocados are considered "good fats". you need fat to live. it gives you energy and energy stores. also, being fat is not inherently unhealthy in the same way that being skinny is not inherently healthy.

carbs are good. complex carbs, like bread, give you energy for longer periods of time. by energy, i don't just mean physical energy. i mean the energy that keeps your bodily functions going.

calorie counting isn't helpful. unless you have health issues that require you to keep track of calories as advised by a doctor, you should not count your calories. calories are too simple to account for a good diet, and calorie counting often leads to disordered eating. you should focus on getting enough nutrients, and fuelling your body.

listen to your body. eat when you're hungry, whether that means meals or snacks. some people have issues with hunger cues, and if you have trouble listening to your body when it comes to diet i recommend seeing a dietitian. your diet is personal. some people need to eat more due to genetics, health issues, lifestyle, etc. you can't follow diets you see online and expect to see the same results as the person promoting them.

most fad diets do more harm than good. cutting out necessary nutrients messes up bodily functions, and most are done without medical supervision. they all claim similar things, but no diet will do the same for everyone. things like fasting often increase weight gain after a short period of weight loss. they also promote orthorexia.

nutritionists are not the same as dietitians. they don't require the same certification, they don't require the same education, and nutritionists aren't as regulated. dietitians are healthcare professionals, meaning they have to go through schooling and training and exams. people can't just call themselves dietitians. the same cannot be said for nutritionists. it's different depending on location, but most places don't require people to go through much regulation to call themselves nutritionists. they also don't face the same consequences. nutritionists can peddle fad diets and make outrageous claims without issue, but dietitians often work in hospitals and must follow the rules. dietitians also don't tend to run their own businesses like some nutritionists, which is an issue because it means nutritionists may have a financial incentive to support incorrect information. basically, if you need diet advice, go to a dietitian. nutritionist is a title that does not actually mean someone knows what they're talking about.