#i be on this blog yapping for my life sometimes and then I think to myself... for WHAT and for WHO

[bbddbopp]

Addressing the misconceptions and misunderstanding in the Manifestation community.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨ Throughout my journey, I’ve noticed that a lot of people twist the basic understanding of manifestation or the laws (whether it be law of attraction or assumption) into something it’s not, sometimes even making it toxic or unhealthy. And honestly, I’ve felt the urge to call it out which is exactly what I'm going in this blog lol. I’ll be addressing some of the most common misconceptions about manifestation, including methods and techniques like subliminals, affirmations, and more. This is going to be a relatively long blog cause I like to yap lol, so buckled up and grab a snack before reading.

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You can't manifest anything with a bad self-concept. Not true. You can still manifest what you want even if your self-concept is not where it should be. That said, it’s definitely easier and smoother if you have a solid self-concept—especially if you’re trying to manifest positive things. If you struggle with a negative self-image, you’re more likely to believe the negative stuff you think about yourself, right? It's hard to believe anything positive because you’re so used to thinking badly about yourself. Now, you would also find this that to be truth if you flip it around: someone with a strong self-concept is more likely to believe the positive things they think about themselves. That’s why people often manifest more quickly after they work on improving their self-concept. So, it’s not impossible, but a healthy self-concept will definitely make it easier to manifest your desires.

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Healing is not important for your manifestation. I’ve heard this one a lot lately, especially from some new YouTubers and to be honest, this is such a toxic and unhealthy advice to give to people, especially those with traumas because it encourage them to just avoid and ignore their trauma and let it fester in their life.

As I mentioned earlier, having a bad self-concept doesn’t neccessarily equate to not being able to manifest your desires—you definitely can. But it’s going to be an uphill battle if you haven’t dealt with your negative thoughts or traumas, because those will keep popping up throughout your journey. You can go on your manifestation path without doing any healing if that's what you want to do. I’m not here to police you on what you should or should not do. But just know this: your unresolved issues are going to keep coming up throughout your journey until you would finally addressed it. Imagine two paths leading to the same goal—one is filled with bumps, detours, and challenges, while the other is smooth and straightforward. Which one would you choose? Obviously, the easy one, right? The same applies to manifesting. You can absolutely manifest even if you have unresolved traumas, but the 'process' tends to be easier and smoother if you're already healing or have healed from them. That’s why I believe healing is such an important part of your manifestation journey—it helps improve the 'timing' of your results and makes the whole experience flow more seamlessly. ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨

Manifestation is a process. Nope. Manifestation is always instant. That’s why I put quotation marks around 'process' and 'timing' earlier. The moment you think of something, it already exists. Whether it’s a small or huge manifestation, the energy is already there. I’ll be writing a separate blog on this soon, so I won’t dive too deep into it here.

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Drink more water = faster results. This one’s pretty popular, especially with subliminals. I’m not sure where it started, but I know it’s been around for a while even in the early days of subliminals (I was there, and this misconception just spread like wildfire, and still persist till now). Some subliminal creators suggest drinking water to stay hydrated and to take a break because listening to them for long periods might leave you feeling drained or give you a headache. So drinking water is more of an advice with the headache that might comes from listening to the subliminals. On the bright side, this one is not as harmful as the second one and at least it encourage people to stay hydated lol . Plus, you can definitely use the law of assumption to convince yourself that drinking water does help speed things up, but just don't overdo it and drink more than what your body needs cause that could potentially damage your kidneys.

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The more you affirm, the faster your results will come. For some people, this is true—affirming can speed up results, but it really depends on your mindset and beliefs. Affirmations work by saturating your mind, helping you change old beliefs to align with your desires. But if you’re affirming out of fear or lack—constantly focusing on the results instead of embracing the new mindset or identity you're trying to build—you won’t see results as fast. Why? Because you’re still holding onto the belief that you’re incomplete without your results. So, you’re essentially affirming out of fear, not out of belief. I'll probably dive deeper into this in another blog because I feel like people often follow trends and methods without considering what truly works for them.

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Shifting state as a method. 'State' refers to the mental or emotional condition you embody in order to manifest your desires. For example, 'being broke' is a state, 'being beautiful' is a state, 'being happy' is a state. States aren’t methods. They’re more like the identities you’re currently embodying. Shifting from one state to another, like from 'being broke' to 'being rich', requires using methods to help you transcend the old state and embody a new one. So, no, shifting state isn’t a method but it is the goal of many manifestation techniques.

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Negative thoughts kill your results. Nope. It just delays it - the more you think of anything that does not align with your desires, the more delayed your results will 'show up' in your reality. That’s why I’m very careful when talking about negative thoughts, self-concept, and all that. I don’t want to spread toxic positivity and make people feel like they always need to be in a 'high' vibration or happy 24/7 to manifest (I don't believe that you need to be in a higher vibration to manifest your desires, I will probably do a blog on this also). I think people often mistook it as that, because they imagine that if they have their results; they are going to be happy and grateful for it - and so they try to be just that all day long to the extent that it becomes toxic because they are not allowing themselves to express how they truly feel. While yes, of course, you're going to be happy if you have your desired results; but being and acting as the person who have their desires is more about aligning your mindset and perception towards something. For example, if you want to manifest wealth, you need to start thinking and acting like a wealthy person. When a millionaire sees a product priced at $200, they’re not thinking, "That's too expensive, I can’t afford that!" Instead, they’re more likely to think, “Oh, that’s actually pretty cheap.” Now, I’m not saying you should go out and spend money recklessly just because you’ve shifted your perspective. It's not about throwing caution to the wind. What I’m getting at is that by changing your perception of what’s expensive and what’s affordable, you can align yourself with the mindset of abundance. After all, even millionaires are still mindful of their spending; it’s just that their idea of value is different. The key here is to adopt that perspective andd familiarize yourself with it, not to act impulsively. At its core, money is just energy, and you need to tap into that frequency to align with it. ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨ That’s all the misconceptions I could think of for now. Of course, these are just my personal opinions, and you might agree or disagree—and that’s totally fine. My aim with this blog isn’t to tell you what to believe, but to share a perspective that could be helpful on your journey. If anything here helps shift your mindset in a positive direction, then I’ve accomplished what I set out to do. If I’ve missed anything or you want to chat more about these ideas, feel free to drop a comment or message me and we can discuss more about it whether in a blog or in the message 💗 Edit: Not me struggling to edit this multiple times after posting, cause it just doesn't look the same when I'm editing it and when I posting it 😭 ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ 🦋 ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹ ¹¹¹¹

[ticklepinions]

I promise you that you will not get arrested for changing your mind y'all. You can GROW and and rethink some of your past actions! Its normal, it happens. Easier said than done but you really don't need to publicly shame yourself for thinking a certain way. I get how internet culture has us overexplaining literally anything we do but you owe no one but yourself justification. It's okay to breathe and say yeah that probably wasn't a great way to think, change and move on 😭

Its so easy to go down the rabbit hole and turn a growing moment to a "I'm a horrible no good human being that deserves the worst things imaginable". Not saying that you're exempt from taking responsibility for your actions if they harmed other people but there are other ways of going about it that don't involve beating yourself up.

There's a post going around and I'm not gonna speak on it, but some people who really aren't the target audience are taking the brunt of it all and rethinking themselves as a human and I'm there like oh! That post really wasn't calling you out but okay! That's okay. We realized we need to change some things but it doesn't mean you're a terrible human. And these are literal sweethearts who keep to themselves panicking cause they thought they did something wrong. TRUST me the people that particular post is calling out is not about you. The fact that you're self reflecting is a huge sign you're not like that i promise you. Be kinder to yourselves y'all

[cowboylikeyouu]

me fighting the urge to reblog or (god forbid) REPOST every one of my post that doesn’t get as much attention as i wanted it to get

[microwave-prince]

Sometimes it makes me feel a little better bout my lack in like...people to directly talk to or gush to like.. imagine I haven't met the person yet cause they're still brewing. Or I'm still brewing. And we are being primed for the right time of meeting each other.

[in-halingstardust]

I love your writing style so much ♥<3. Do you have headcanons for hsr characters with a reader who tends to apologise for everything? sfw. If my ask seems out of your writing range. You don't have to write it. Thank you. 🌸

Awww thank you so much! I am always hesitant about my writing since I am dyslexic as hell. I’m so glad you enjoy my work even will all my errors lol. ᡣ𐭩ᡣ𐭩ᡣ𐭩

I don’t mind doing swf head cannons ;D . I usually write swf for my other blog but it’s kind of dead and not HSR themed soooooo I will make an exception hehe. Sorry for being so late!

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹FireFly

Firefly is totally the type to hold your hands whenever you apologize. She interwinds her fingers and holds your hand tightly. She becomes sad when you apologize all the time; she doesn’t like it when you feel like it’s your fault. It is never your fault. She is always there to comfort you, sometimes when you start to apologize she will hold a finger to your mouth. I like it more when you smile. Don’t hesitate and don’t ever think you’re a burden to me in anyway.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹Welt

Welt is like half therapist and half life support coach I swear. He is always prepared with tea or coffee, your choice, as you both sit down on the plush leather seats of the Express. Whenever you feel anxious, tired, spent with the world, Welt is always ready to listen. When ever you try to apologize he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, grounding you. It’s alright. Say it clearly, I promise I will always be here for you.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹Gallagher

Gallagher, being the head of the Blood hound family, known for their abrasive personalities and outspoken methods; is a little surprised when you first apologize for speaking too much. Ridiculous, he loves your voice and it’s much better than listening to the others yap about their rounds of the day. If you start apologizing too much he will grasp your waist and hold you tight against him. It’s alright. I just wanted to hear you better. You’ll let me be this close, right?

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (9)

ー☆ Chapter 9: You (Show Me Where My Days Went)

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: cursing ー☆ Word count: 9.8k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hi, lovelies!! LMLAR is BACK!! I am sooo happy I could finally update and just write, y'all have no idea! I am so sorry for making you wait so long for this update, but finishing my thesis was super important! I still have to study and such this month, but I promise next update won't take as long as this one did! (I'm writing other stories too while writing this one, so that kinda backfires sometimes lol) I am forever grateful that you are patient and stick around for the new chapters, this story is so dear to me you wouldn't even believe it. I am also super grateful and happy whenever you leave feedback, so please, keep on doing just that!<3 This chapter only exists because I was randomly inspired, and I'd like to apologize if it's a little rusty, I always have to get in "character" when I write this story lol. I am soo excited for next chapter, I think it's going to surprise you hehe. PLS PLS imagine that airport look from Mingi when reading this chapter, the pics from the moodboard, you'll see during which part! I also have a very small surprise at the end of this chapter hehe. I hope the time jumps aren't too confusing:(( Please, listen to the song called You before or while reading! Enough yapping, I hope you enjoy and leave feedback! (Taglist is always open for those interested! ^^)

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red @sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng @deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf @hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

Later that day

I hate him: hey…just checking in that I got home safely what are u up to?

I blinked, fingers tightening around my phone before I locked it, leaving the message on unread. My mother’s shuffling outside my door caught my attention, bringing a smile onto my lips as I watched her struggle while bringing all the dirty laundry to the bathroom. Then, I got off my bed to go help her.

Friday (11:30 am)

I hate him: i see u still haven’t checked my message… nothing too worrisome u certainly know how to make a man yearn for you lol that was a joke…dont freak out on me pls (lowkey true tho)

Friday (12:50 pm)

I hate him: lol, wooyoung has been bitching about seulgi’s professor for half an hour now mr. kwon u know him? i mean…i suppose he also teaches u i should take a sneaky video for u…wooyoung looks like a clown hanging upside down my bed and pouting like a damn child too (dont say im also one, thanks)

Friday (15:26 pm)

I hate him: well…ik my messages are going through so uh… why tf are u ignoring me???! *cries and dies in loneliness* entertain me dollll!!! im so bored pls oh…u said u had an important assignment…i bet u’re busy with that sorry for spamming u (text back tho when u’re done, im dying here…wooyoung is with seulgi and so is seonghwa with hongjoong…the single life sucks, bestie…lets be single and depressed together<3)

My jaw clenched as I heaved a long sigh, falling back on my bed as the sun shone brightly through my open window, the light breeze making me shiver as I only wore a t-shirt and sweats. Autumn was slowly turning into winter; the weather wasn’t so warm anymore. I threw another look at my phone, unlocked it, and stared at the received messages from Mingi for a second before finally deciding to delete them from my notification center, rolling over in bed to muffle a frustrated scream into my soft, and purple, pillow.

            Saturday (9:09 am)

I hate him: i had the weirdest dream and im not even sure i want to tell u about it LOL but uh…a grisly was chasing me??? and then u appeared on a fucking white horse like a prince LOL and threatened to like…slay it if it didnt leave me alone??? honestly…what a slay, bestie good morning, btw, doll hope u had a better night’s sleep than me (and dreamed of me ehehehe)

            Saturday (17:40 pm)

I hate him: i cant believe i allowed myself to be fooled like this back in highschool yuyu and i used to play baseball for shits and giggles and hongjoong (that rich prick) rented a whole ass baseball field for us for the afternoon and let us play with some of his (rich af) friends and uh… i think i wont be able to walk straight for another week with how much running i did… hongjoong kept scoring homeruns…i wish yuyu was here to kick his loser ass (dont tell hwa or hong i said that PLS) yo doll…everything’s alright with u? uh u…really havent answered me since… yk…i stayed over and waited for the rain to stop… have i done something wrong?

I sighed and put my phone on ‘do not disturb’, suddenly having lost all of my appetite as I forced the rest of the lettuce down my throat. My mother was sipping her kiwi and apple smoothie, eyes narrowed as she muttered to herself while trying to memorize the recipe of a dessert for later. Desserts were never her forte, unfortunately.

“Is it Seulgi?” She asked absentmindedly as I took a large gulp of my own smoothie, staring down at my salad, steak pushed to the side in my plate.

“Huh?” I asked distracted, eyes still glued to the dark screen of my phone.

“Texting you, your phone keeps buzzing, my starlight.” I rolled my eyes at the nickname, but didn’t bother to comment on it. I took a peek at my mother and her eyes were narrowed at me already, video on YouTube paused. Fuck, I had to answer her now or else she’d pester me all day long. And that would be a nightmare.

“Yeah, it’s Seulgi.” I lied, trying to make my voice sound convincing.

“Well, answer her then, don’t be rude.” My mother chastised me, pressing play on her video again, pursing her lips as she shook her head at whatever the man baking was saying.

“Later.” I whispered, biting my lower lip as my eyes remained glued to my phone, stomach clenching and heart dropping.

But I couldn’t.

            Sunday (1:01 am)

I hate him: …you’re ignoring me, arent u? im sorry, y/n, i dont know what i did wrong, but we can talk about it we’re friends, after all…right?

『When you came along, I knew what was wrong

If you want to know exactly what I've missed』

            Monday (present time)

            It truly would have been a missed opportunity if Seulgi and I wouldn’t have grabbed coffee and went to sit in our usual spot in the back garden. The campus of our University was huge and that was perfect, because it meant people migrated and didn’t stay in one spot for long—at least long enough to irritate me to no end. Last week deemed to be rather rough, and I still didn’t feel like completely myself. To be honest, I thought about staying home today—and for the rest of the week—but I couldn’t afford missing any of my classes as exam period was slowly nearing, and so, I had to force my ass out of the house this morning before my mother could come and nag me about my weirdly unusual broody mood that has been going on for the past few days.

I hummed as I took a sip of my sweet coffee, enjoying the taste of warm caramel as Seulgi sighed loudly next to me, both hands cupped around her own coffee cup. The scent of cinnamon wafted from her cup and I scrunched up my nose, not too fond of the ingredient’s smell. Our classes started early in the morning today and we’d be here for at least four more hours, caffeine seemed like our only hope to stay awake and aware at this point. Given the fact that my baffling thoughts kept me up all night yesterday, I felt grateful that I was still on my feet at two o’clock at noon. As Seulgi fidgeted again, I chuckled and finally turned my head to look at her. She had a sheepish look on her face, and I tried not to laugh as I knew she was bursting to tell me all about her date with Wooyoung on Saturday.

“Well,” I started as I took a sip of my coffee, prolonging the suspense for her, “how did your date go?”

“It was amazing!” I had barely finished asking as Seulgi exclaimed, her cheeks turning rosy—and it wasn’t due to the cold air, “Wooyoung is—everything I thought he would be. He’s sweet and up for anything, he makes me laugh until I feel like passing out, and there’s just never a dull moment with him, you know?”

“One would expect that from him.” I muttered against my cup, laughing as Seulgi nudged my side, not looking too happy with my comment, “Oh, come on, it would be hard for Wooyoung to be different than the way he mostly presents himself; don’t you think?”

Seulgi grumbled something against her cup as she lightly bit into the carton, shooting me a pointed stare, “Well, yes, but…he makes me happy. Treats me well and all that, you know, he’s the perfect embodiment of what a boyfriend should be like.”

“Boyfriend, huh?” I teased with a smirk, wriggling my eyebrows at my best friend as her cheeks flushed an even darker color as she bit her lower lip, trying to mask the huge grin expanding on her lips. But as soon as I started giggling, Seulgi also broke out in a fit of giggles, hiding herself behind her wavy hair, pressing her cup of coffee against her face.

“God, I’m so down bad for him, Y/N, I don’t think you’d understand.” She mused, voice airy as she threw her head back, leaning back against the back of the bench. I chuckled and took another sip of my drink.

“Maybe I’d do.” I muttered, memories of my relationship with Yunho resurfacing. Thankfully, however, I managed to repress them as quickly as they came. They didn’t feel so gut-wrenching anymore, and to my surprise, didn’t leave a bitter taste in its wake either. What has changed? Certainly—certainly getting closer to his best friend didn’t influence the way I feel about Yunho, right? Right.

“So,” I glanced at Seulgi from the corner of my eyes as she swung her legs, looking down at her feet in the process, “how are you?”

“Fine, why?” I asked confused, angling my body to face Seulgi better.

“You’ve been…distant the whole weekend. I could barely reach you.” Seulgi’s voice sounded small and I gulped, feeling bad for making her worry about me, “You know…the last time you pulled away and disappeared, it was bad.”

“I promise you I am doing completely fine, Seulgi, you’d be the first person to know if I was in a bad headspace again, alright?” I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. Seulgi sighed and then raised her head to look at me, lips pulled into a thin line.

“Promise?”

“Of course, I promise.” I smiled at her warmly and she hummed in contentment, squeezing my hand back as she took a sip of her coffee. I followed suit before removing my hand from hers to fiddle with my half empty cup, “I’m just dealing with some things right now. I think I’m confused.”

“About what?” Seulgi asked curiously, leaning closer as I continued to avoid eye contact with her.

“I’ll tell you once I have my thoughts sorted about it.” I chuckled, making Seulgi roll her eyes in displeasure.

“You know, I tell you absolutely everything about myself and how I fell, and you always shut me out and tell me how you felt about a situation when it’s been over for years.” Seulgi pouted, narrowing her eyes at me, “How’s that fair, Y/N?”

“Hey, we work differently, don’t try to guilt trip me now.” I chuckled and took a sip of my coffee, making Seulgi roll her eyes, “Anyways, what did you do on your date with Wooyoung?”

“We went to the cinema,” Seulgi’s face lit up once again, grinning from ear to ear, “He bought me roses, a big bouquet. And after the movie we went for a walk and ended up stargazing in his cabriolet. It was really romantic.”

I smiled, feeling happy for my friend, she deserved someone like Wooyoung, “That actually sounds really amazing…and romantic.”

“Oh, my God, are you really Y/N? Where is my friend that hates anything that has to do with romance, cute stuff, and love?!” Seulgi’s shocked face was mocking and I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I leaned back against the back of the bench.

“I don’t hate it, I’m just not a huge fan of all of those things, okay?!” I shrugged, letting my arms fall from my chest as I pushed them inside my coat’s pockets.

“Who’s the culprit?” When I raised my eyebrows at Seulgi, a sign that I didn’t understand her question, she chuckled and leaned closer, “Who’s the man that’s changing your views on life, huh?”

“Man?” I asked with a scoff, giving Seulgi a deadpanned expression, “Does it always have to be about a man? Can’t it be just the fact that I had a change of mind?”

“Sure, because of someone.” Seulgi had a smug look on her face, acting as if she won the argument. But there was no argument here and she had no idea what she was talking about.

“Whatever—” But I got cut off as her phone dinged loudly. Seulgi, very comically, scrambled to reach for her phone and as she opened it up, a wide grin stretched onto her lips. It didn’t take two braincells to realize who had texted her, and thus, I chuckled and turned my head. I sipped my coffee, taking in my environment while Seulgi answered her boyfriend, giggling quietly every now and then.

The campus was finally silent and not as busy as it usually was in the early morning hours. The cold weather also helped in keeping the garden a little quieter as most people preferred to stay inside the warm corridors and classrooms. But the chilly air was good, it soothed my nerves and erased thoughts that weren’t productive. Similar to that, were the emotions that I didn’t want to deal with again, like the guilt that’s never left me ever since Mingi walked out of my house wearing Yunho’s old clothes. It felt wrong letting him take them without knowing the truth about them, but I didn’t feel ready to tell him yet about the truth. I was scared, surprisingly, of what he’d think of me once he found out about Yunho and I. I was scared that—he’d walk away, like Yunho had once done. And that was a very frightening thought. But when had I become so attached to Mingi? When has Mingi managed to infiltrate himself so thoroughly in my life, that the thought of completely losing him became scary? And why was I taking the past few days so badly? It’s not like we were as close as Seulgi and I, or him and Seonghwa and Wooyoung, yet, ignoring him felt like the wrong move to do. However, the reasoning I always circled back to was the fact that I needed space. I had to clear my mind, to find the purpose of this whole friendship that’s been blooming between us, and to make sense of everything. I had to figure out first why Yunho barely scraped my thoughts now, and why was it was Mingi who I found myself thinking of so often. In case you were wondering, no, I still haven’t found the reason, and it was becoming frustrating quite quickly. That near kiss was a—mistake. Yet, it could have been so much worse—it could have been a real kiss. And a real kiss would have ruined everything. I didn’t want to open up to anyone just yet, not when the memories of Yunho still haunted me in my dreams and drawings. Drawings that now more often than not consisted of Song Mingi.

And to my horror, the flipping of paper sheets is what alerted me back to my surroundings as I had been lost in my thoughts, oblivious to Seulgi putting her phone down and grabbing my sketchbook that lay between the two of us on the bench. As I turned my head, my eyes widened as Seulgi’s expression held surprise but amusement as well. She chuckled as she looked up, making eye contact with me. I lunged forward in an instant, trying to take my sketchbook out of her hands, but she leaned back and away, putting it behind herself.

“Bitch, I’m not the only one who’s down bad for a man.” She said with a laugh, making me groan as I gave up trying to snatch my sketchbook back from her.

“I’m not down bad for a man, Seulgi, stop this non-sense.” I hissed, cheeks burning in embarrassment as she kept flipping through my drawings.

“Please,” She scoffed, turning my sketchbook around and making me grimace as I came face to face with an exact replica of Mingi, sitting in his chair, at his studio that one time he invited me inside, “Who the fuck draws so many drawings of one single person if they aren’t in love with them—”

“I’m not in love with Mingi, stop it!” I exclaimed, heart beating fast as Seulgi raised her eyebrows at me, looking unimpressed, “Don’t ever again say that, Seulgi.”

“Okay, calm down, whatever. You’re not in love with Mingi.” She chuckled, closing my sketchbook but she didn’t hand it back yet, “But let’s face it, Y/N, you have a thing for Mingi. It’s super freaking obvious even without the drawings.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I hissed and finally snatched the sketchbook out of her hands, clutching it to my chest. I knew bringing this along today would turn out to be a mistake, and here I was, facing the repercussions of my actions.

“There’s this glint in your eyes whenever you look at him—”

“Yeah, it’s called dislike.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

“And I see how you struggle to refrain yourself from smiling when you’re around him—”

“Bitch, be for real, Mingi and I aren’t even often together around you for you to notice that.” I scoffed, completely appealed by whatever absurd claims my best friend was making.

“So you’re not denying it—would it really be so bad if you liked Mingi?” But Seulgi ignored all my interruption as she raised her eyebrows at me, smiling softly, “He’s a nice guy. Very well-mannered and with a big, and good heart. Wooyoung loves him a lot and is always worrying about him. He says Mingi hasn’t been the same ever since his best friend moved away for college—”

“Mingi is Yunho’s best friend!” I blurted out before I could stop myself, finally feeling like a stone was taken off my chest as I bit my lower lip, averting my eyes from Seulgi’s shocked expression, “Mingi is the best friend Yunho had always talked so much about while we were together. I—do you understand why it would be so bad if I ended up liking Mingi?”

“Y/N,” Seulgi whispered, eyebrows furrowed, “for how long have you know?”

“Long enough.” I muttered before clearing my throat, “So please understand that I’m not ready for whatever the hell me drawing all those sketches of Mingi could mean. A month ago I was close to bursting out crying even at the thought of Yunho, and now I fail to remember his existence on my best days.”

When I dared take a peek at Seulgi, she was smiling softly, almost proudly, “Fine, I’ll pester you about this later on, when you’ve figured things out, but until then—you can’t deny Mingi isn’t hot—”

“Can we stop talking about Min—”

“Hi, girls!” I jumped in fright at the overly excited and shrill greeting as both Seulgi and I turned our heads to be met with…Wooyoung and Mingi. Speak of the devil. Suddenly, there was a lump in my throat, and my heart started beating just a little bit faster as my eyes fell on Mingi’s tall form. It didn’t help that underneath his coat he was wearing Yunho’s sweater—the one I had given him.

“Hi.” Seulgi giggled as Wooyoung leaned down to press a kiss against her cheek, the two looking sickly in love. It was actually endearing, but I’d never admit it out loud for my own sake as I knew I’d get teased about it by Seulgi. I averted my eyes from Wooyoung and Seulgi as they were muttering things to each other, and so, had no choice but to look up at Mingi, who looked—expressionless. Something in my stomach dropped at his cold demeanor, and it was worse that I wanted to assume it was my fault that he looked like that. But just as I was about to look away, he cracked the tiniest smile ever, and I exhaled, licking my lips.

“Hi.” My voice was small as I gulped, eyes trans-fixated on the tall man as his smile became just a little wider. I don’t think I had the power to ignore him anymore, not when he was standing right in front of me, looking like he wished to be anywhere but here.

“Hi, Y/N.” Having not heard his voice in days, it sounded even deeper and raspier than usually, making butterflies erupt in my stomach as my grip tightened around my sketchbook. I felt a little awkward, perhaps even tense, as Mingi didn’t say anything else, just continued gazing down at me with his sharp dark brown eyes boring into my own. I had so many things that I could’ve said to him, but I felt tongue tied. I didn’t know what would be the right way to approach him after I ignored him for so many days. Would he understand? Is he mad at me now? Does he hate me now? Will he forgive me—

“Okay,” Wooyoung chuckled, syllable drawn out and sounding amused, “I feel like I’m interrupting something here, yet they are basically just staring at each other.”

“You’re right.” Seulgi giggled, and I finally looked away from Mingi, throwing a glare at my best friend as she had leaned into Wooyoung’s side, who stood next to the bench and her.

“Shush, you two.” Mingi beat me to telling the two love-birds off, and I couldn’t help but smile, “Don’t poke your nose where it doesn’t belong to.”

“Look who’s lecturing me about poking my nose where it doesn’t belong to—”

“Wooyoung.” Mingi’s tone held a warning, and it made Wooyoung giggle as he leaned down and pressed a fat kiss against Seulgi’s cheek—again—making her push him away playfully.

“We’re headed to class, are you coming over later?” Wooyoung smiled down at his girlfriend, playing with a strand of her hair.

“Maybe, if I get to finish my project.” Seulgi said with a pout and Wooyoung hummed, leaning down to press a kiss against her lips this time around. I averted my eyes, not a fan of seeing couples kiss, only to catch Mingi already looking at me. He was expressionless once again, but he was fidgeting with his fingers, looking almost nervous. And as Wooyoung stood up straight and ruffled Seulgi’s hair affectionately, Mingi took a deep breath.

“Will you come to Outlaw this Friday?” He asked in a rush, sounding almost reluctant as his eyebrows furrowed slightly and he chewed on his lower lip. To my horror, I found my eyes fixated on his plush mouth and I gulped before I quickly averted my eyes, praying that nobody caught it.

“Yes.” I answered before Seulgi could, and nodded, smiling a little bit, “I won’t miss it.”

A beautiful smile spread on Mingi’s lips and he nodded once, looking too happy for something so little. I don’t think I’ll understand anytime soon why he gets so excited and happy when I listen to his songs or watch him perform. I’m no expert when it comes to music, my feedback is merely amateur and I’m not even a fan of his band yet.

“Cool, see you then.” And Mingi didn’t wait for Wooyoung as he turned around and walked away, steps hurried. I didn’t miss the confused glance Wooyoung and Seulgi shared before Wooyoung was off, chasing after his best friend. And maybe I would be soon able to make sense of my thoughts and feelings around Mingi, figure out what they meant and why they felt so real at times.

            Monday (16:58 pm)

I hate him: hi Me: hi I hate him: would it be a lot if i asked to meet u tomorrow? Me: no, im free in the afternoon I hate him: cool, me too so uh…we can hang out in my studio? Me: or we can go to that new café with pottery I hate him: really? Me: u did say u wanted us to go… I hate him: i certainly said so i’ll pick u up around 4 Me: u don’t have to i’ll meet you there I hate him: come on, y/n…let me drive u Me: u’ve driven me around too many times by now i’ll meet u there and that’s final. I hate him: okay, boss, see ya there Me: :))

            Getting here before four o’clock and having to wait in front of the cute café had no business being this nerve-wrecking. Yeah, Mingi hasn’t shown up yet—but perhaps that’s because there were still ten minutes until it’d be four—and I knew I had no reason to think he’d bail on me, but we hadn’t spoken since yesterday, when he had asked me if we could hang out. And so, waiting for him shouldn’t have had me breaking out in a sweat despite the cold weather, making me bite my lower lip harshly as I tried to smooth down the wool, green, brown, and beige patterned coat I was wearing. First of all, why the hell would I be so nervous about meeting up with Mingi alone at this cute café? He probably wanted to talk about that near kiss, and once we had that cleared, things would go back to normal—right?!

And maybe that was the reason which made me want to vomit on the sidewalk, the thought that I knew Mingi would demand answers—answers that I wasn’t yet ready to hand out. Why did I even agree to this? Because I missed him? I should have just stayed at home and done the project I’ve been procrastinating on—again. But when I heard the rumble of Mingi’s old Honda’s engine, I knew there was no turning back, catching the bus and running home to hide underneath my blanket.

As Mingi took his time to parallel park, I took a deep breath and gripped onto the strap of my tote bag harder, looking down at myself. My apricot orange sneakers matched the color of my blouse, the top two buttons out of five undone, but not showing too much skin. My blouse was tucked inside my washed out high waisted mom jeans, the black belt matching the color of my tote bag—I know black isn’t a color, I’m an arts major after all. My hair was pulled in a low ponytail just to prevent the wind from blowing it in my face, and I was thankful that I chose my wool coat as it kept me warm enough. I have opted to wear quite a few rings today, and because my neck felt too exposed, I decorated it with three necklaces of different length. I gulped hard one last time as Mingi got out of his car and took a few seconds until he managed to lock it. However, those few seconds were exactly what I needed to prepare myself to not pass out at the full sight of him.

Mingi, in true fashion to him, wore all black, except for his jeans that were a very dark shade of blue, almost black too. His turtleneck was tucked inside his jeans, a black coat with a hood keeping him warm from the cold late autumn weather. It almost made me smile upon seeing his own tote bag, black, and funnily matching mine. Except that his was plain, while mine had Claude Monet’s Water-Lily Pond painting painted on it, done by none other than yours truly, me. Mingi’s eyes were concealed by black sunglasses, and I snorted as he almost splashed himself up by stepping a little too enthusiastically into a big puddle. Two necklaces hung around his neck, reaching down his chest. A very obvious and sturdy silver cross necklace, and another longer chain that had pearls scarcely strung on it.  And in true Song Mingi fashion, his rings weren’t missing, only two of his nails painted black on each hand, almost as if he didn’t have time to finish doing them. My heart racing in my chest so fast just at the mere sight of him, certainly wasn’t healthy, right?

“Hi!” I squeaked out and wished to burry myself instantly as Mingi chuckled, a very charming smile spreading onto his lips. It was a little annoying that I couldn’t see his eyes, forced to stare at his plush lips instead—let’s be real, nobody forced me, I did it because I couldn’t help myself, “The sun is quite blinding today, isn’t it?”

And of course, in good old fashion, my mouth worked before my brain would agree to saying something out loud, and my cheeks were burning as I knew Mingi saw me look at his lips. I had to divert the attention somehow, and teasing him was my best method, actually. It always worked.  

“I’m trying to make a fashion statement,” Mingi grinned as he gripped the sunglasses and took them off in a very unnaturally hot way, “but hello to you too.”

“No need for a fashion statement when it’s just the two of us,” I narrowed my eyes, finding Mingi’s hair very soft and fluffy looking, almost as if he had recently washed it, and it wasn’t completely dry, “I’m not one of your fans.”

“Pity,” Mingi hummed, stepping slightly closer to me, “I thought I might just finally wove you.”

I scoffed, and as I was about to tell him off, he grabbed my tote bag and pulled me after himself, headed for the entrance of the café, “Did you have to wait long for me? Traffic was busier today, I had to take a few detours to get here in time.”

“Don’t worry,” I smiled as he opened the door for me and let me walk inside first, “I only waited half an hour for you to arrive, runway princess.”

“Runway princess?!” Mingi’s eyes bulged for a second before he started laughing loudly, making a few customers glance our way as we made it inside the café. I elbowed him in the stomach gently, not too keen of having people glare at us as he disturbed their peace.

“Don’t like the nickname?” I asked with a raised brow as we neared the front desk. The cashier had a friendly smile on her face while she greeted us as Mingi and I looked up at the menu, trying to decide what we’d like to have.

“Never said that,” Mingi answered with a chuckle as he threw me a quick glance, “it’s just surprising coming from you.”

“Why, can’t I call you a princess?” I chuckled, turning to face the cashier as I have made up my mind about what I’d like to have.

“Up until now you seemed to prefer the term ‘bro’, but I’m fine with whatever you decide on calling me, doll.” The look the cashier gave us made my cheeks flame up and I cleared my throat loudly, shooting Mingi a look that told him to shut up.

“Sorry about that,” I muttered embarrassed, smiling at the cashier, “can I get a strawberry cheesecake?”

“Sure, right away, and you, sir?” Her attention was on Mingi now, cheeks flushing the longer she looked at him. Okay, I could totally understand why. Mingi looked quite good right now, it was hard not to ogle him.

“A mint-chocolate cheesecake and a cappuccino?” Mingi hummed, eyebrows furrowed in thought as he looked down at the cashier.

“Plain cappuccino or with vanilla?” The cashier typed in our orders as she asked Mingi, averting her eyes shyly once he looked at her, pursing his lips.

“Plain,” He decided at last, turning to look at me, “are you not getting anything to drink?”

“An orange fresh will be alright.” I said as I reached inside my bag to fish around for my wallet.

“And would you also like to paint some pottery?” The cashier asked, pointing behind herself at all the displayed options. Mingi and I shared a look and I smiled as I nodded at him, making him grin from ear to ear.

“Yeah, we’ll paint some pottery too. Can I have a cup?” He asked, pointing at one on the higher shelf. It was a smaller cup, specifically made for drinking coffee. The cashier nodded and then looked at me expectantly.

“Uh, a mug will do for me.” I said and thanked her once she handed us the pottery and the paint that was used for painting these. Then, she tapped a few more on her tablet and told us the total. I opened my wallet to pay for my purchase, but Mingi had a card in his hands, the cashier already typing in the total sum for him to pay.

“Mingi,” I hissed quietly, looking at him with a frown, “what are you doing?”

“It was my idea to come here—”

“No, it wasn’t.” I cut him off, fingers curling into the scratchy fabric of his coat as I reached out to hold it, “I suggested we come here instead of going to your studio.”

Mingi sighed and pocketed his card, already having paid, then turned his body to face mine. I didn’t let go of his coat just yet, “Yeah, but when I drove you home during that downpour I asked you if you’d come here with me. So technically, it was my idea. Initially, anyways, it really was.”

“Mingi—” I started, but soon swallowed my words as he stepped closer, invading my personal space. My fingers tightened more into his coat and I gulped, suddenly feeling nervous due to our proximity. He faintly smelled of vanilla, it was a fragrance I didn’t except to smell on him.

“Can you not fight me on this one, please?” Mingi’s eyebrows slightly furrowed and his eyes softened up and I—struggled to breathe for a second as I stared up in his pleading eyes, mouth going dry. He looked—adorable like this, and I did not like the way I felt myself getting lost in his soft gaze.

“Let’s find a table.” I muttered, forcing myself out of the trance he placed on me, and grabbed my mug and the painting supplies. Mingi followed suit as he took his own cup and followed after me closely. We walked further inside the café and found a smaller table in the next room, closer towards the window. The walls were painted a faint orange and were decorated by white stripes that created abstract shapes. The chandeliers were white and hung low, the place well-lit for those who wished to paint pottery.

I placed the things in my hands on the table carefully, and then discarded my coat on the back of my chair and my tote bag by the leg of the table, pulling my chair out for myself. Mingi followed suit, however, he managed to almost send his cup tumbling to the floor when he took his seat. His eyes were wide as he just barely caught the cup, and I giggled as I watched him while opening the box that held all the paint. Thankfully, the table was spacious enough to harbor both our pottery and paints as the cashier brought out our delicacies. She threw Mingi a lasting look before she hurried back to the front desk, glancing our way at times.

“This is going to be a tough one.” Mingi said before scooping up a bit of his cheesecake with his little spoon.

“Why?” I asked with a chuckle, choosing a thin brush to start painting some flowers on my mug. My cheesecake could wait.

“Because I’m literally sat at a table with an arts major, having to decorate some cup by painting.” Mingi sounded stressed and I chuckled as I looked up at him, amused by his expression. His hair fell in his eyes a bit, and I found myself absentmindedly reaching over the table to brush it to the side. Almost as if realizing at the same time what I had done, we both froze. It felt like time stilled around us as I watched Mingi with a gaping mouth, slowly but surely, my cheeks becoming the color of a fire hydrant. But Mingi wasn’t better off as he bit his bottom lip, averting his eyes shyly as his cheeks turned the faint color of pink. Clearing my throat and accidentally choking as I hastily pulled my hand back, I averted my eyes and fought for my life to not choke. Thank God the orange juice was right there, I quickly took three large gulps.

“Th—thanks.” Mingi stuttered, staring at the table as he licked his lips, “Uh, it’s gotten long, my hair, I mean, I have to cut it when I get the time.”

“Yeah.” I nodded, grabbing my mug and chewing on my bottom lip in embarrassment—God, could the Earth swallow me up right now? Why the hell did I do that?! “Yeah.”

“Do you think I should change it up a little?” I paused as I had dipped my brush in red paint, and slowly looked up at Mingi, “Do something fun with it—like going blonde?”

“I hate blonde hair.” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Nice one, idiot. Yunho was blonde while we were together, and thus, yeah, I’ve hated blondes ever since. And to be fair—and this is not me shitting on my ex—but that hair color did not suit Yunho at all.

“Oh, noted.” Mingi whispered, pouting a little. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling, hating myself for the weird atmosphere I have created.

“Mingi, you can do whatever you want with your hair.” I spoke up, leaning down to try and look him in the eyes as he was busy staring at the table, “My opinion shouldn’t matter. It’s your hair. Go crazy with it, have fun, try out something new. Really.”

“But do you think it would suit me?” Mingi was still pouting as he finally looked up at me, looking quite crestfallen. My eyebrows furrowed and I tried to imagine him with blonde hair. He was quite blessed with his skin complex as most colors looked good on him, but perhaps I preferred Mingi with dark hair—black hair, more specifically. Like he had it right now. He looked—good. Handsome, even. Completely gorgeous. Fuck.

“I think it would suit you.” I settled on saying that. He didn’t have to know my train of thought, like at all. Mingi hummed in appreciation, and I watched as he reached inside his tote bag, pulling out a case that held his glasses. He took it out of the case and put it on, pushing it up on the bridge of his nose. He grinned when he looked at me and I chuckled, shaking my head as I looked down at my mug, finally starting to decorate it.

“There goes the cool, mysterious, hot celebrity act.” I teased under my breath, not expecting Mingi to hear me. But he did, and he started laughing, giving me a cheeky grin.

“Not quite a celebrity yet, but at least you admit I am hot.” Of course he was smirking as I gave him a deadpanned look, about to argue him on his statement, but he didn’t let me as he continued talking, “By the way, let’s exchange our cups when we are done. The mug will be mine and the cup will be yours.”

I tried to fight the smile off my lips, “So that you get the artwork of a talented artist for free to sell for an outrageous price later on when I’m famous?”

“I fear you have misjudged my character, doll.” Mingi’s eyes narrowed playfully, but there was truth to his words. I might just have misjudged his character.

“I still think you’re arrogant and selfish.”

“Of course you do, didn’t except anything less from you.” Mingi winked and then looked down, his cheesecake forgotten as he started decorating his cup, tongue just barely sticking out as he concentrated hard on whatever he had in mind to paint onto the cup. I chuckled and shook my head before focusing on my own mug, the silence that’s settle around us comfortable, as always.

            Mingi and I were the quietest table in the café as we worked in silence diligently in, painting our own pottery. Mingi, at times, would hum along quietly to the songs that were played on the radio. Despite his cup being smaller and easier to paint, I finished painting mine before him, and so, I took the time to savor my cheesecake even if it had gotten warm and a little too soft. Mingi was hunched over in his seat, glasses low on the bridge of his long nose, with his full lips either pursed or with the bottom one bitten as his eyebrows would furrow every time he almost made a mistake. It was a funny sight, and I grabbed my phone without thinking much, and snapped a few pictures of him, leaning lower and even closer to his face to get the funny angles, all while Mingi remained oblivious to it. I chuckled as I looked at the pictures I had taken of him, looking at him when I felt eyes on me.

“What’s so funny?” He asked curiously, eyeing my phone for a second.

“You.” I chuckled and stuck my tongue out as Mingi rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair as he heaved a long sigh.

“I’m finally done.” He grinned and I looked down at his cup, taking in the yellow chicks he had painted quite—clumsily. Well, not all of us had the skills of a painter—not that it was an issue or anything—it’s just that it’s been long since I had seen someone have the skills of a—kindergartner, “It’s pretty sick, huh?”

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from giggling and nodded with my eyebrows furrowed, “I’d give it a seventy out of a hundred mark.”

“Hey! That’s too low!” Mingi said, looking offended. I chuckled before shrugging.

“You’ll have to work on your skills for a higher mark.”

“Fine, next time you come to the studio, I’ll make you sing.” Mingi raised his eyebrows, making me narrow my eyes at him playfully.

“Oh, I didn’t know we are in a competition.”

“We weren’t, until now.” He winked and then stood, grabbing my mug and his own cup carefully as he took it to the front desk for drying. I gathered the items we had used to paint the pottery with to place them back in the box, and couldn’t help it but sneak a glance at Mingi. He was leaned up against the front counter, grinning widely at the cashier as she spoke to him, using her hands for big gestures as she was probably explaining something. My eyes narrowed as Mingi leaned slightly closer to her, only to detach himself from the front desk and walk back towards our table. I looked away and busied myself with my glass of orange juice.

“So, we’ll get them delivered to our houses once they are dry and all.” He said with a smile, sitting down, “I hope you don’t mind I gave her your address too.”

“I don’t.” I muttered, chewing on the straw for a second, “I didn’t think you’d know my address.”

“Well,” Mingi flattened his hands on the surface of the table, “I’ve been to your house twice now. I think it’s only right I remember your address, doll.”

“Right,” I muttered, “you’ve been to my house.”

Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and I figured he didn’t like the tone of my voice. But before I could correct myself and explain that I had nothing against that, he spoke up, “Y/N, I—I didn’t mean to scare you or—I don’t know—make you think that I want anything from you. I mean—we are friends, and I respect you as a woman and as a friend, and I know we almost—kissed. But I—I don’t want you to think that I’m playing some sort of game with you to get—to get in your pants. I’m your friend. And even if I wasn’t, I still wouldn’t do that to you.”

Hearing him say all that felt wrong. I didn’t deserve any explanation from him. I was the one that’s overreacted that day, and Mingi was the one that deserved an explanation and apology from me for the way I have acted. I knew I couldn’t completely open up to him right now, that some parts of the truth had to be omitted today, but he also deserved to know why I had pulled back. And I wanted him to understand that it wasn’t his fault for the way I reacted to everything.

“Mingi,” I offered him a small smile and gripped my empty glass for some support, “If you think you are the reason why I ignored you, please, stop thinking that. It’s—we both leaned in, okay? We were both about to kiss each other, it’s not like you initiated it or forced me to do something I didn’t want to. And nothing even happened, for God’s sake. I reacted that way because I—”

When I paused, Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and he leaned over the table, gently poking my hand with his ring clad fore-finger, “You don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not comfortable sharing it, Y/N.”

“But I want you to know this, Mingi.” I averted my eyes and took a deep breath, embracing myself for what I was about to tell him, “I had a boyfriend back in high-school who completely broke my heart, shattered it into pieces. And I know that happened a long time ago, and yes, I am over him, but I—I am scared people will treat me like he had treated me. I’m scared that if I let you close, you’ll just—leave. Like he did. And I know ignoring you for days was very shitty of me and I shouldn’t have done that—because quite frankly, Mingi, you deserve better—I just didn’t know what to do. I needed a few days to myself, to figure things out. It’s a bad excuse, but it’s the truth, and I think you deserve to know it. Since we are friends.”

Mingi’s face conveyed no emotion for a few seconds and I gulped, feeling nervous all of a sudden. Did he figure it out now? That I was talking about Yunho? That maybe I have started feeling something for him too, for Mingi? Would he stand up and leave? But to my surprise, a wide smile stretched onto his lips and he hummed, adjusting his glasses on his nose.

“Thank you for trusting me, it means a lot that you told me all that.” I bit my bottom lip, looking down at the table abashedly, “And I was never mad at you for ignoring me. I completely understand you, Y/N, and for the record, I have zero intentions of leaving you. And your ex is a fucking asshole for breaking your heart like that, tell me who he is and I’ll beat him up when I cross paths with him.”

There was nothing funny about what Mingi had said, especially since he was talking about his best friend, but the comically tough look on his face made me snort loudly as I shielded my mouth with my hand, trying to stop myself from laughing too loudly. Mingi started grinning like an idiot, his giggles deep, and making something coil in my stomach. When has Song Mingi become adorable instead of annoying?

“I doubt you’d want to kick his ass once you find out who he is…” I grimaced once that was out of my mouth, regretting it instantly. What was it about today that I couldn’t keep my thoughts and mouth in check? It was turning really frustrating.

“So, you plan on telling me one day?” Mingi wriggled his eyebrows, making me snort, “Like real besties gossiping and shit.”

“You never fail to make me cringe when you call us besties, Mingi.” I shook my head, taking a glance at my wrist watch. Oh, the time had flown away, it was well past five now, and the sun was going down. I’d probably have to head home soon to have dinner with my mother. I was becoming hungry too.

“Well, that’s what we are so…” He cleared his throat before slowly standing up, making me look up at him, “Did you know today we’re celebrating the Festival of Light?”

“Nope, I had no idea.” I shook my head, standing up too as Mingi wore his coat, “I don’t follow the events our city organizes.”

“Pity, it’s really pretty.” Mingi pouted, waiting for me as I grabbed my tote bag and pocketed my phone, “Should we check it out?”

“I mean…maybe?” I shrugged and Mingi beckoned me over as he crossed his arm with mine, making me chuckle as I looked up at him. He wasn’t much taller than me, but his sneakers had a thick sole and they made him even taller, “Where is this festival held at?”

“Just down the street, at the Citadel.” Mingi smiled as he led the way out of the café, waving at the barista as she blushed again, making me chuckle as I subconsciously nuzzled up against Mingi’s side, the air chilly as the sun had set by now.

“That barista totally has a crush on you.” I found myself saying as we walked down the sidewalk, trying to avoid crashing into the people that came towards us. Yeah, there certainly was an event on-going in the city, otherwise you wouldn’t see so many people out and about around this time. Everyone preferred staying inside after the sun had set, not keen of the cold nights.

“You think so?” Mingi mused, bottom lip jutting out as he narrowly avoided a child that was running around, “I didn’t notice.”

“You must be really dense then.” I snorted, eyebrows furrowing as I looked up at him, “She was constantly blushing, and she was totally looking at you with hearts in her eyes.”

“How do you know when someone is looking at you with heart eyes?” Mingi’s question threw me off, and I detached myself from his side, clearing my throat as I looked ahead, pushing my hands in my pockets. He was warm, it made me realize as the cold bit at my skin now that I wasn’t nuzzled up by his side anymore.

“Well, they have this look in their eyes, you know? It’s warm, and soft, and it lasts.” I explained, feelings my cheeks heat up, “And their eyes always linger on you when you aren’t watching them. It’s like…puppy eyes, I suppose? I wouldn’t actually know, Mingi, nobody’s ever looked at me like that.”

When there was no response, I looked back to find Mingi looking at me intensely. My eyebrows furrowed as we have arrived to the Citadel, the gates open for the visitors of the festival. The place was packed, this wouldn’t be so fun anymore. I would’ve turned around and walked back home if I didn’t see how excited Mingi was when I agreed to come check it out.

“There’s lots of people here.” Mingi muttered, and then walked closer to me as I led the way inside, a little baffled by his reaction to my answer. I just merely gave an answer based on my beliefs. It was him that was acting weird now. But as I looked at him, I could see it in his eyes that he didn’t want to talk about this topic anymore, that he wanted us to drop the subject. His last comment was a way to veer the conversation in a different direction. What was it about us today making everything weird? I sighed and just walked further inside, trying to avoid the big crowd which seemed almost impossible as it stretched on and on. The Citadel, however, was beautiful as it was coated in darkness, only the little paper lamps and fairy lights illuminating the place. It had a certain aura to it, almost romantic, and I soon found myself smiling as we walked down the cobblestone path, still trying to avoid people and stick close to each other’s sides. The air was chilly but the walls of the Citadel did a great job at keeping the breeze out, and the crowd certainly kept the place warmer than it was outside the stone walls.

I found myself admiring the décor in wonder, my mouth hanging open as I took in all the little lamps placed down on the ground, following the cobblestone paths, illuminating our way. It was truly beautiful, it almost felt like the scene was taken out of a fairytale. I found myself filled with excitement and happiness as I turned to grin at Mingi.

“This is so beautiful!” I giggled, absentmindedly grabbing the sleeve of his coat and dragging him away from the path and into the dying grass as there was a panel covered with paper, and people were writing on it. Mingi remained silent, but as I searched around for a pen or pencil, I felt him watching me, “What, do you not want to write something?”

“If you manage to find a marker or pen, I will, sure.” He said with a shrug, adjusting the strap of his tote bag before he pushed his hands deep in his pockets. I chuckled and looked around for a marker, but it was hard to see it in the darkness whether they were laying around in the grass or not. To my surprise, a little girl standing next to me looked up at me with a small smile on her lips, and offered me her purple-coloured marker, saying she was done with her drawing. I thanked her with a chuckle and turned to face Mingi with a grin.

“I found one!” Mingi chuckled and took the marker from my hands, being able to reach high up where the paper was still empty, due to his height. The panel was illuminated from the inside so you could actually see what was written on the paper. I watched him as he wrote on the paper, hesitating for a second, before he stepped back and handed me the marker. I raised up on my tip toes curiously, and craned my neck to see what he’s written. ‘The moon is beautiful tonight.’

I felt a smile spread onto my lips as I looked back at Mingi, who’s expression was serious and almost sad-looking as he adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his tall nose. I craned my neck back once more to gaze at the dark sky, at the moon, and indeed, there she was, beautiful and shining brightly. It was a new moon. Taking a swift glance at Mingi, I raised back on my tip toes and stood close to the panel, reaching up, just underneath Mingi’s writing. Thankfully, I could reach just bellow it, and I grinned as I quickly drew a new moon, adding a little shading to it and dents as well, creating the illusion of a real moon. Mingi remained silent as I took a step back, admiring our work. I handed the marker to another child as I fished my phone out of my pocket and snapped a picture quickly of our artwork.

“The moon turned out beautifully.” Mingi commented once we had stepped away from the panel to let others draw too, headed back onto the cobblestone path.

“Still, it’s not as beautiful as the real one, but I tried my best.” I chuckled as I crossed my arms in front of my chest for a second, avoiding a man as he wasn’t looking in front of himself as he raced down the path. Mingi threw him a displeased look before looking down at me.

“Your drawings and paintings are always beautiful, Y/N.” Mingi said and I found myself blushing, thankful that it was so dark he wouldn’t be able to see it. I uncrossed my arms and turned my body a little to face him. There was music coming from one path, the one which led to the southern part of the Citadel.

“Are you nervous about Friday?” I found myself asking him as Mingi veered us towards where the music was coming from. He looked at me for a second, and then shook his head.

“I’m rarely nervous when we have to perform.” He said nonchalantly, the back of his hand brushing lightly against mine. My heart did a somersault against my ribcage, but I ignored it.

“Oh, you’re such a cool guy.” I teased him with narrowed eyes, making Mingi chuckle.

“I rarely get nervous, to be honest, even less when it comes to performing.” He hummed, looking up at the dark sky for a second, “I trust myself and my bandmates that everything will go well, so, there’s no actual reason to feel nervous.”

“But I’ll be there on Friday, that still doesn’t make you feel nervous?” My question was meant to be teasing, part of our playful banter, but the way Mingi gulped and quickly averted his eyes told me that perhaps I hit the nail spot-on. Well, now I have turned things awkward again. I sighed loudly, chewing on my bottom lip as Mingi remained silent, the two of us walking down the narrow path as the music became louder as we were nearing the stage. Jazz music was playing, the lady who was singing had a powerful and smooth voice that carried over the crowd neatly. There were a few people dancing in the crowd.

“Perhaps having you there will make me nervous.” Mingi’s voice was barely above a whisper and I tensed when I felt his pinkie brush against my own, making me clench my hand into a fist. But a very quiet voice inside my head demanded me to accept Mingi’s subtle request, and willing my heart to stop hammering so hard in my chest, I relaxed my hand and slowly slipped it into Mingi’s. If he stopped walking for a milli-second, I didn’t say anything about it, and he also ignored it. His grip turned firm as he intertwined our fingers together, gently pulling me closer into his side as he smiled at a mother who apologised for his son almost running into us.

I gulped and kept my eyes ahead of me, too nervous to look at Mingi. Holding his hand like this meant nothing in particular, but it was a nice feeling. It made my cheeks warms and heart race. And I didn’t have to look at Mingi to know he was smiling like crazy, his cheeks just as red as mine as we came to a stop behind the dancing people.

Have I started falling for Song Mingi?

『It's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

I'm just saying it's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

You, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

You're what I've been chasing

Show me where my days went』

❱❱ Next chapter

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so...the festival of light scene was totally inspired by me and my bestie attending it in our city lol; it was sooo beautiful and the pictures in the moodboard were actually taken by us; also, her and I kept laughing about the romantic vibes we were getting, all in all, we had a nice time...and OFC we make everything about Ateez so :))

I wrote that LOL I'm like Mingi, tall enough to reach the top where people haven't scribbled onto yet lol

also, this is what y/n's outfit looks like for anyone wondering, except for the colors as they are the way I have described them in the scene ^^

[bananaactivity]

Davenport Family Headcanons and portraits for shits and giggles

There are 8 of these mother fuckers so buckle in. Some background info is in another post but ill probably add that part in as re-blog thing... anyways enjoy my yapping

Davenport Family

Donald Matthew Davenport ( 44 ) January 8, 1971

The Daven-family figurehead and oldest Davenport son. A genius who works well with tech related to transportation, communication, personal protection, training, security systems, and helpful but basic AI ( think eddy). His work was praised heavily within the market that Davenport Industries existed in. He noticed his brother getting in with some shady investors and tried to stop him leading to a huge argument and a few months of not being able to reach him he found out that Douglas had been horribly injured and killed. He took the time to gather his brother's possessions finding the bionic children and taking them in. He raised them keeping them sheltered so that the government would stop messing with them. Eventually, he married Tasha and had a stepson in Leo who convinced him that it was safe for the kids, and he's had a kinda stressful but great love-filled life since. Eventually, his brother returned and after being mad for a bit he soon got right back into the swing with his baby brother. He was so happy to have his brother back after eleven years. Still bullying him of course but it's all love. He is kind and smart and very nervous. He isn't stingy with his money either, he does a lot of charity events for struggling kids who wanna do S.T.E.M. He looks at some kids who remind him of his brother as being a bit strange. He doesn't discourage them but helps them move in ways that won't hurt them in the long run. You can be an alternative scientist without getting dropped in like his bro. Sadge :( Sometimes he crashes out but it's a nervous crash out. Sometimes the kids really mess up and you really gotta step back and be like… okay guys bsfr. His little brother was a mad scientist and a handful, he was stressed. And his “death” made him sad. Rose is also a stressor she thinks he's a wimp :(. He was a Hippie, a “playboy”, a big goofy nerd, he's gone through many phases. He loves all his children. I never minded them calling him Mr. Davenport. Though I will say mostly Chase does it in my AU. Not for trauma reasons he's just silly. They all call him Dad and Leo calls him Big D. Marcus and Dan call him Uncle D.( For a long time he would just talk to Eddy instead of people before he met Tasha. Eddy is just a helpful assistant with a personality he always made me mad as a kid. He can keep some personality but I don't like the Tasha disrespect keep it P with my queen. )

BI- curious for a while ( He had a fling with Peirce Harrington way back when they were in a fraternity together at some fancy Uni. You know Frat boys, I do. Freaks.)

Douglas Patrick Davenport ( 42)

April 6, 1974

The Daven-family emo child and youngest Davenport son. A genius who is a bit unethical and does crazy work related to human enhancement, cognitive modification, bioweapons, and biotechnology, really pushing human and technological capacities while blending them. His work was highly controversial of course, it was kind of taboo when talking with people interested in Davenport Industries. Though many “darker” people were interested in his work, Doug hadn't received much praise due to the macabre of his expertise. So he entertained these investors getting himself into a dicey situation, leading to a blowout with his brother in 2002. Doug's situation was a little dire so he faked his death having to leave behind ABC. He could only take the Androids. He stayed in his dark angry hole. Mad that his brother was still thriving while he kept up this new evil stuff. Hoping that the children he had to leave were okay. He got into it with some more dicey figures eventually meeting Krane who was interested after reading some of Dougs old Highschool blog posts about bionics. Doug had already lost a lot of money so he planned to get his kids back but ended up defecting back to his family… he loves them.

Douglas loves his kids. They don't call him Dad, he’s Douglas. Sometimes Uncle Dougy. Leo calls him Lil D. He told him to stop. He didn't. He understands he made choices and that resulted in them being left. He had only come back to exploit them for money… bros, not the dad. He is to his android boys and that's great. He loves um. He enjoys going to Dons charity events. Seeing kids like him with alt ideas. And he sees his brother helping and encouraging them. He'd take back some of his choices if he could but he's glad of the few positive impacts they had. He's still alt, maybe a freaky idea here a crazy thought experiment there. But he knows to reign it in now. He was getting a bit too crazy perhaps, may have broken many moral rules there but he loves his family. Perry thought he was a butch lesbian when they met but then they became friends and she was like ohhh. 

Bro doesn't care if he likes you he likes you, I think Perry is the same but she has some preferences. ( What if I shipped him with agent Graham what then? You can't stop me lol)

Tasha Francine Davenport ( 44)

April 6, 1974

A mother, a businesswoman, the baddie. She divorced Leos's dad and they don't talk about that bitch who cares. Her son is her baby she loves him. She loves Donald a lot too when they met he was pretending he was a Donald Davenport look-alike who worked at a coffee shop. He called himself Conrad Shadingfort. ( Bro is supposed to be a genius wtf)  they ended up hanging out. He bought the coffee shop she frequented just so he could continue working there to see her. She knew the whole time and thought he was just being silly,. He hung out with her for 2 years and got to meet Leo too. When he wanted to ask her out he told the truth and she was like: “Huh? You thought I believed you?? Well, you’re so cute and silly and I like you so I will go out with you!” He kept the coffee shop as a business also having made a bunch of cool gadgets to help the employees. It was a cool spot lol. And then they got married later yay! Now she loves all the Davenport children even the androids lol. She doesn't have the baby yet (I'm bad at drawing babees) She is sweet and caring and knows when to do things for her because it isn't selfish. 

Tasha is Demiromantic yayyyy

Adam Robert Davenport ( 19) July 7, 1996

Good ol’ Adam. My fav, my boy. He is so relatable, I relate heavily. I'm the older sibling I'm the silly sibling (I stand by Adam is just into absurdist humor with a heavy commitment to the bit, and isn't dumb. Bro says stupid shit on accident and on purpose and you'll never know ) When he Bree, and chase bully each other its normal sibling level. He never uses his super strength with his siblings; it is just his normal strength. Which is a lot mind you but it doesn't hurt it's just irritating. He's still a Taylor fan, but if this took place in 2024, he would add Chapplle Roan to his playlist quickly. I'm not a big Tay or Chapplle enjoyer, but I won't ever let that affect Adam’s truth. You know what he likes Billie and Sabrina too, Laufey, Solange, Nicki, Doechii, he loves women's music artists, all of them. They're all baddies who slay according to him, Even if they didn't make music in 2011-2016. He's super chill no stress on his bones unless someone touches his siblings. Yall should know how he gets when they're in danger. “ I can call my sibling a dusty bum bitch, but if you even look at them wrong I'm beating your ass.” Adam is a big animal lover he's been asking Donald to branch out with animal charity events and he's working on it yay ( Adam and Douglas began to bond over animals. Especially dogs)

He's isn't labeled like I said he's chill, I relate bro, love him. His preferences do align with aroace ( so relatable bruh) He's just silly yayyyy!

His abilities are under the L-P Chip: Lasers, strength, lung capacity, “big blue fart that blows shit up” as he calls it, and durability.

Bree Downy Davenport ( 18) November 22, 1997

Bree. another Baddie. Bad-bree. Sorry. She's silly, not a super slob like that one gross-ass episode but she's a bit of a fem-tomboy ig. Catching frogs and lizards carefully here, painting nails, and putting on baddie fits there. Finding interest in environmental issues a big fan of ethical tourism. She's been all across the earth. She's good at clocking her brother's tea ofc. She and Leo talk a lot, Leo has been in tons of AP classes and introduced her to AP Environmental Science she loved it and they joined the environment club together. She is obsessed with the island ecosystem as it is a man-made one. She's glad her brother Chase talked with Donald about making sure if he did this island thing that he made it as safe for the environment as possible and he did a good job. ( She and Douglas began to bond because while Douglas was “dead” he went to a lot of places, they talk about them and history all the time) She's not gonna get superpowers. Now that's something I'll get mad at, she has more bionic abilities they're just locked. If she was really feeling that useless (she's not) she could have asked Doug about unlocking another one.

She’s a bi queen. Also an elite-level fumbler. Not because she's a bad partner. Just so bad with expressing feelings so it never gets to that level.

Her abilities are under the S-S Chip: Super Speed, invisibility, wall stick, durability, and voice replication. She got rid of Spikerella she hated it.

( I don't like most of these portraits but this one just pisses me off like wtf happened to his face)

Chase Junior Davenport ( 18) August 5, 1997 Chase Chase Chase. He's on the case. He's very logical and often uses his computer brain for most tasks. It's like that one time they had a boys vs girls for no reason and he used his bionics immediately. He's always using his bionics just because of the computer brain. He's super lucky he can use two bionics at a time otherwise he'd be a dumbass while fighting. He also downloads apps to do most advanced tasks or hobbies, except guitar and martial arts which he learned on his own. ( He loves Radiohead, thats how he and Douglas began to bond heheh ) He pretends to hate Spike but also declines to get his app deleted. Spike always has his back even if he's a bit… dramatic and violent. This Chase is a bit more unsure and less cocky due to this Donald not being as cocky too. (That was def a learned behavior.) His identity took a while about to season three. When Leo first helped them assimilate into high school Chase thought he could download a bunch of teen movies to get ahead. Introducing him to a concept he literally never thought of. Having a partner. It always ended badly cause he just thought it was what he was supposed to do and he wasn't ever into it. This changes that one episode where Chase was tryna impress a girl and Adam was tryna stop him to Adam being like “ Bro you don't even like her stop before you hurt her fam..” Anyway, eventually he figured it out and told Adam who was like I coulda told you that fam..,

He's labeled Aroace and is very repulsed by everything. Leave his ass alone.

His abilities are under the I-S Chip: Computer brain that can do all computer stuff at elite computer speed, Laser Bo, Force field, telekinesis, Magnetism, durability, Spike, and enhanced senses

Leo Francis Dooley (17) May 7, 1998

I don't have many headcanons for Leo. He's perfect bro. Silly, perfect comedic timing, smart, and caring. He loves hanging out with Doug. He didn't need as much time to be bonded with him as ABC for obvious reasons. He and Marcus have beef most of the time though. That's how cousins be. He and Daniel are cool tho they love bullying Marcus together. He and Gordo though had a massive falling out ( Break up). Never again. He dated Jenelle, he had a tiny nemesis crush on Taylor. He’s single now.

He's a pan-king.

He doesn't have a chip but his abilities are plasma, energy-sucking or wtv, shields, and a strong leg,( his eyes are just aesthetic)

Marcus Julian Davenport ( 18) December 14, 1997

I don't have much to change about Marcus either. He's still a little freaky butthead. He loves his brother and he loves playing the guitar as well ( Radiohead enjoyer yayaya). He also does a bit of boxing, why not? His Archenemies are his Brother and Leo still, but in a goofy way not a murder way. He and Daniel were like the goofy duo tryna trick ABC and Leo. Marcus was intimidating while Dan was just being silly bonding with Leo. I just think it's funny if we just add Daniel to Marcus and Leo moments where Leo is clocking Marc's tea and Dan is just like “ Lol yeah Marcus is trash hehe”. He has a much better relationship with this Doug as Doug lets them be them and has never abandoned him. Doug was goin crazy when his sons got missing. He's so silly.

He's not super interested in relationships not in an aro way but just like not that interested. If he sees a bad bitch though who's to say lol

He has no chip; He has all Adam Bree and Chase's abilities both hidden and not.

Daniel Moore Davenport ( 13) March 21, 2002

When you look at the timeline you may see the name Danielle.( This is also a reference to Bree asking about why Doug never tried making another girl. He did here but Dan was like nah fam) Yah originally Doug was tryna do one female and male design. The female took a little longer which is why Dan is so much younger. After a few years tho Dan wasn't fucking with that. Doug was just like: Ya know what this is fine and a win. Bro is so sentient and observant he got body dysmorphia :(. He's just a silly boy now. He bullies his brother with Leo butttt... He has a lil crush on Spencer. (That's Spin's name that he uses with his non-friends but I think its funny to say) I think it'd be funny if Dan and Leo are bulling Marcus, but Spin comes in and bullies Leo causing Dan to turn around and swap sides. Then both Leo and Marcus side-eye him like: aw hell naw. I also think it's funny if they have that moment in the wimpy kid movies where Marcus is Rodrick looking at what Dan (Greg) is looking at ( it's Spencer ( Holly)) and he busts out laughing: “ BROOOO NO WAY WILL THAT EVER HAPPEN! AHAHAH” I gotta draw that lol. Unfortunately, if you've read that one fanfic of mine you know that Spin is the leader of a team comprised of Daniel and Bob. And you also know how I feel about writing inter-team relationships. It would piss me off if my teammates started being all goo goo-eyed while we're on a mission like stopppp. So Bob has to watch his oblivious bestie and a dumb-ass android get themselves into avoidable shit. Bob went on a sabbatical from having crushes and now he's a chill guy ( he learned from Adam that hot babes aren't everything and to take time for himself, bros 15 he's gotta chill) Anyways…

Dan does identify as trans and hes another guy whos chill unless he has a crush ( he thinks Spin is so cool bro awww he just wants to hold handsssss )

He has no chip and his ability is the replication of all tech not just bionic. Like if he touches a megaphone he can amplify his voice or record things and amplify them. can save up to two bionics in a folder to use without touching someone. If he wants to use a different two he has to clear his folder.

Back Ground Info for shits and giggles

How Bionics and Androids Work

There are three levels for Bionic Humans and five for Androids, here they are in order of Rank

Bionic Levels: Superior Bionics, Partial Bionics, Soldier Bionics

Andriod Levels: Superior Bionic Andriods, Superior Androids,  Androids, Basic Androids

There are only three Superior Bionics. Guess who? You never will… It's ABC, obviously. Subjects A, B, and C. They were the first to have chips, with so much care and passion put into them over the years Doug worked on their chips and embryos. They're irreproducable. Their bodies can handle the toll of bionics well, as they were grown and raised as embryos to do that. Yes, the chips can be fixed up if pieces are smashed but brand-new ones that have the same strength of capabilities can't be done. That's why they have the glowy-eye things in my art. Leos a special case shut it. The chips are called Lazer-Punchy, Intelligence-Smarty, and Speedy-Sneaky. L-P, I-S, and S-S, chips respectively. Doug is shit at naming things. This exclusivity was done so that the 3 are extra special I wanted as much separation from the super soldiers as possible. It was a little irritating back when that season aired to see how all these new bionic people made ABC less special but I didn't want to get rid of them. So now it's a spectrum. They can activate 2 bionics at a time more if they train super hard.

The Super Soldiers and Krane are Soldier Bionics. Significantly less strong and durable than the Superiors. They had bionics implemented later in life. (Super soldiers were orphans or homeless children taken by Krane with no family to return them to and also another reason) A lot of them in the case of Krane. Little did Krane know, but even if he wasn't defeated and destroyed or wtv, his excess of bionics would have killed him eventually. His body was deteriorating rapidly and he took a bunch of shit to cover up the pain like an idiot instead of realizing the actual issue. The amount of abilities he put in is what made him so strong and formidable but again his body would've completely collapsed eventually. That's actually what Geis was waiting on cause she wasn't as much of a dumbass. The island also provides a lot of health care to the super soldiers after saving them. That's also what got the government to back off again, How much care they needed and how “useless” they would be without this constant care and upkeep. Again they just are like an iPhone 8 to ABC's iPhone 11. if that means anything lol. They can only activate one bionic at a time.

Leo is the only Partial Bionic, again the tech was something Doug spent a while on. Bionics that can be used later in life without causing trauma to the receiver. He was preparing to sell it to Krane but he didn't which is why Krane did that worse thing. After Leos's severe almost fatal injury Doug had to try something. He used his plans on the injured areas (his legs, arms, and head) and this makes Leo Bioincs less strong than Superior Bionics but more stable than Soldier Bionics. Doug destroyed these original design books ( superior and partial) as he knew Krane would do anything to get his hands on something like that. Chase however has a file saved in his computer brain that can be accessed even if his bionics have been compromised. He can activate one bionic at a time, more if he trains.

There are only two Superior Bionic Andriods. Marcus and Daniel. M.A.R.C.U.S: Modular Android Reactive Construct Utilizing Sentience. D.A.N.I.E.L: Dynamic Android with Neural Intelligence and Emotional Logic . Again trash names dunno what Doug was doin. They have a level of sentience and intelligence that's pretty much like… Vision or Ultron ig. They have this humanity to them and I treat them as such thats why they're ‘bionic” androids. They are conscious completely, they have personalities completely. There are technically no limits to their use of bionic abilities as it relates to LR universe. Minus cooling systems and child locks ( on Daniel) that stop overheating. They can eat, drink, and sleep. They're anatomically accurate to humans as well. ( Not for freaky reasons ofc just Douglas trying to replicate human processes again this is what makes them bionic, they replicate humanity very well) Any fluids that a human can have are simulated by special liquids that need to be replaced once every 10 years. That being things like sweat, digestive fluids, tears, and blood. These are all simulations though, and if they aren't replaced it's no big deal just means they can't do any of that stuff like eat or sweat. It's all aesthetic that stuff, just Doug showing off. They also grow like a human again Doug being a show-off. Doug started them before ABC meaning technically Daniel is older than Adam lol, but he finished them at different times. Daniel wasn't conscious until 4 years after Marcus and 7 years after Adam. The reason is that it was much easier to leave Androids as a WIP than actively growing bionic children. (The androids start out toddler size cause it is easier to work with. just what I think seems reasonable not any science all of this is what I deem reasonably possible in a fake world, it's not even pseudoscience) They can use as many abilities as they want with consequences if they overdo it.

There is only one Superior Android, Troy. T.R.O-7:Tactical Robotic Operative 7. Troy is not a bionic android; he only looks like a human. He doesn't replicate any human functions, and he is not anatomically correct. He can't eat, sweat, cry, bleed, sleep, or grow. He looks exactly the same as when he was first finished. He does however have a complex personality, similar to the Bionic Androids. Hes like the… Friday to their Vision. If that means anything lol. Hes very vain ofc but he misses a lot of social cues and has a harder time empathizing. Gies didn't bother to fix these for reasons that'll be clearer in the next level. Geis started Troy in secret back in college after Doug first started Marcus and Daniel. She had 6 versions before he was functioning how he does now. He still is very pervious to water, overheating, and a wide variety of things that happen to machinery. The reason hes less advanced is due to Gies not caring about the intricacies of accurately replicating humane behaviors. She thinks of androids as an easier way to do bionics—easily controllable weapons without waiting for growing embryos that can use bionics. My Doug was more of a human bioscientist with dubious ethical and moral codes. Troy can use up to 3 abilities before he begins to shut down.

Any other Androids in Gies army are Androids. Different from Troy. Troy took all of her college and 5 years after she graduated. Again the only reason she was doing this was for convenience and a leg up in this world so she used Troy as her money maker and all of the others are even less human than Troy. They were all destroyed with no hesitation while Troy was jailed. 

Basic Android are things like Robo Perry and EDDY. Like the Siri and Alexas of our world but with a little more spice.

Timeline for shits and giggles

1992- Creation of Davenport Industries ( Don was 21 Doug was 17) 1994- Begins 2nd year of college for Doug ( 20) and the beginning of Marcus and Danielle ( Daniel) and the prototypes of the L-P, I-S, and S-S chips/ first meeting of Geisel 1995- Geisele begins work on the first Troy. T.R.O-1 1996- Doug Graduates and Davenport Industries begins taking off, making both Davenport's millionaires and affluential inventors and scientist 1996- Gisele and Doug break up 1996- T.R.O-2 1996- Adams embryo is now a baby boy 1997- Brees Embryo is now a baby girl 1997-T.R.O-3 1997- Marcus is sentient 1997- Chases Embryo is now a baby boy 1998-T.R.O-4 1999- Donald builds the Penthouse in Centium City 1999-T.R.O-5 2001- Geisel makes a breakthrough in the movie industry and ceases work on T.R.O-6 in favor of working her way up the industry 2002- Danielle ( Daniel) is sentient ( a few years later Danielle is Daniel) 2002- Doug (27) and Dan (31) fall out and Doug fake dies ( Adam 5, Bree 4, Chase 4) 2002- Dan finds ABC and Raises them 2006- The Gov tries to tack ABC for “science” but fails because I said so 2008-2013- Doug works with shady people to get money and he is fairly rich, he also meets Krane during this time who promises him a big payout for the tech of human bionics and partial bionics he left behind in his young adult rage 2011- Geseil completes T.R.O-7 and becomes an Industry Titan with her breakout hidden star Troy West ( if this were a big thing you’d hear about the movies hes is as sly ref across all the seasons) 2012- Dan ( 41) and Tasha ( 41) tie the knot and Leo finds out about the Rats 2013- Doug Returns and does his evil stuff but he and the android bros get redeemed 2014- Krane does all his evil stuff and teams up with Geis but also does a solo thing so he dies 2015- The Island is up and running for about a year 2016- Geis finally comes in and gets her ass handed to her 2017—- Elite force stuff

I hate everything including all these fuckers. Ignore all the rats lookin crazy as hell i was tweaking when i drew that i promise

[feyd-meowtha]

@middlingmay's Fic Rec Questions

I saw this list and thought it would be fun to give it a go!!

1) Fic that's made you laugh the most

He May Be The Reason by @c-goldthorn. It's a Clegan Notting Hill au and it makes me squeal with delight. So cute that I got distracted while reading it and missed my stop on the train.

2) A fic that made you cry

my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder by pillar of our community @swifty-fox. I'm sure most ppl have probably read this one but it's such an amazing post-show continuation that really doesn't pull it's punches when it comes to both PTSD and the realities of being gay in the 40s

3) Fave comfort, silly fic

It's a little rogue but I'm gonna say Awake, Alive by the wonderful @whirlpool-blogs. It's a pet sematary au so not exactly what you would call traditionally comforting but the ending makes me so happy and the whole thing is just a joy. The fact that this came to mind when I thought 'comfort fic' is probably pretty telling about me as a person....

4) The fic that made you try a genre or trope that you don't usually read

This is also a bit rogue but it was tricky since I'll read anything, so I'll go with Strings of the Strings of Life by the lovely @weimarweekly, not because of any of the content but because I don't, as a general rule, read Dune fic that was written after Dune 2 released. I've bored everyone to tears with my complaints about that version of Feyd but it is what it is so I tend not to like any fics written about that version of the character BUT the prospect of a feydpaul Berlin techno au was too delicious to resist and the whole fic is so fun. It makes me miss Germany sooo bad.

5) An author who has inspired your own fic writing

This one has got to go to the anonymous author of both Close And Yet Closer and The Replacement. Both of these fics are god tier and their character psychology and willingness to allow their versions of the characters and relationships to be ugly and messy are so inspiring to me. They were also the first person in the John/Hausman tag on ao3 which is currently just me and them. I think about the replacement all the time and it was a HUGE influence on 3am Eternal. If I can ever write half as well as them I will die happy.

6) What are your fave underdog authors? Those that you feel are underappreciated and deserve a bit more love

Hmmm, this is kinda hard cus the MOTA fandom is pretty small so I feel like a lot of stuff gets decent buzz. Imma shout out @whirlpool-blogs again and especially their fucked up clegans fics, I have read and reread all of their works and they're always so so good. I will also add @steeseman for Up In Our Bedroom. It's another great post-canon fic and while it has a lot of hits, I don't think I've seen anyone talking about it on here.

7) What's one thing you wish writers/readers did more of when it comes to fanfiction.

The obvious one is comment, it really does make my day when I get a nice comment, even just a couple words or an emoji mean a lot. The other thing I would say is writing curt/Kenny fic, there's not much out there and I want more please. Also more fics where characters relationships are like genuinely kind of fucked up and toxic. I love that shit.

8) What's one thing you wish writers/readers did less of when it comes to fanfiction.

Oh man, I really do not know. The only thing I can think of is that I hate the word 'yap' or 'yapping' so if I see it in a fic I shudder. Hmmmm, I guess I also wish that there was a little more consideration when writing Gale's dad as an alcoholic because it's often treated as the basis for him being a shitty person. Addicts aren't automatically bad people and I sometimes feel like it's portrayed that way. @blixabargelds wrote an excellent post on this

9) I'm adding an extra one and that is current WIPs I am reading

Sympathy For The Devil by @blixabargelds, it's a modern ghost hunting AU and the set up is AMAZING. I will also throw Superstar in here even though it's not releasing main story chapters yet, everything Frankie writes is so tailored to my personal tastes it's crazy and I am so excited to read @mildharm's John POV chapters too. Literally foaming at the mouth thinking about it rn. When it starts being released fully, I fear it may kill me.

Love Song From A Dog and The Heart Is A Muscle by @swifty-fox. I've only just started THIAM but I'm so hyped for their take on the tattoo shop/flower shop au.

Hit Me Where The Heart Is by @london-cowboy makes me legitimately insane. I jump for joy whenever there is a new update, these versions of the characters and their stories are, as Paris Hilton would say, beyond. I do not have the words to say how much I am loving this fic. The characters and setting feel so real and it's just so creative. AMAZING.

I need to get around to starting let us not desert one another; we are an injured body and also the time skip fic whose name escapes me by @irregularcollapse and also catching up with @weimarweekly's rodeo fic, Looking For Eight

Writing this was very fun and I encourage anyone reading to give it a go if they fancy it!!

[birdiebirdjay]

what are your thoughts on Severus Snape?

AW HECK YEAH I FREAKING LOVE SEVERUS SNAPE!!!

I've talked about him a lot on my blog lol- not as much recently, but rest assured I still love him <3

He's one of my favorite dudes!! Percy is awesome because he is me and I am him sometimes but Snape is awesome because HOLY SHIT the amount of trauma this man went through just to become one of the saviors of the wizarding world?? holy shit it's insane

I have so much love and admiration for him as a character. He's the most heroic hero to ever hero tbh (overexaggeration I know.. but still)

Also, honestly, no I don't really care about the whole thing with Neville. In the most polite way possible, canonically, that kid was either a cowardly idiot or a kid who didn't listen in class and needed to get straightened out. Signed, an autistic nerd who would have hated him in real life. I'm sorry but I just cannot listen to any argument that basically goes 'ohh but he BULLIED CHILDREN!!' like no he was a strict teacher and Neville was a bad student who endangered others 😭😭

Oh also I absolutely love the John Nettleship lore!! (Basically Snape was based off JKR's old chemistry teacher, who she hated for like no reason lmao. He was super nice and everyone else loved him and he dressed up as a wizard and sang songs in Welsh. He was also most likely autistic and most definitely a mega feminist!! Absolutely based dude tbh. He even had disability accomodations installed in their building for JKR's mother!) Anyways book!Snape is autistic and you can't convince me otherwise <3

OH!! ANOTHER THING!! I love Alan Rickman, think he was an awesome actor, but movie!Snape is inferior to book!Snape in every way to me. He makes me shudder. Canon Snape is screamy and rough around the edges and mentally unstable and traumatized AND IT SHOWS! Movie!Snape is... smooth speaking... and calm... and slaps student... and is NOT book!Snape in any way shape or form!!!

Oh speaking of (can you tell I love yapping about Snape?), despite being pronounced a student-hating abusive bully by a certain side of the fandom, he's actually one of the only teachers that canonically never put the students in physical danger, and I think that's very snexy of him.

Anyways yeah I love Snape :) there's literally only one thing he's done in canon that I can't defend. Ask me questions about him anytime <3

[soft-pine]

okay so @monstermoviedean is watching s14 rn and her takes are god tier!!! and you should all go read her blog please!

but it just makes me want to talk about lebanon/14.13 so much! like it really is one of my favorite episodes of spn. which is crazy i know because i truly hate john with every fiber of my being but i think this episode reveals so much about him & dean's relationship with him with delicious subtly!

and i've yapped at random on twitter about this but i want to gather all my thoughts in one place.

dean's relationship with john is The most important relationship in spn that i'm interested in unpacking. (i am normal and fine and this has nothing to do with my own issues)

i think for some people who understand john as abusive, it is frustrating and jarring to see him come back after so many years and just be kinda nice. especially given that dean has just finally started to talk to his family about some of the bad things john did.

i maintain that dean has been pretty clear with cas and like random strangers that his dad was shitty. but in 14.11, he tells mary the winchester surprise story. while he doesn't frame the story as truly a critique of john, it is a contrast to his quiet silence and pained expression after newly-resurrected mary says john was a good father in 12.02. in 14.12, dean opens up to sam about how when john was pissed off at dean, he would send him away. this is a stark new light on dean's comments from 7.14 where he apologizes to sam for sometimes "ditching him" when they were kids. sam quickly shuts down dean's apology in 14.12 and subsequent discussion about dean's regrets and feelings about john. but since sam's shift in his opinion about john in 2.02, dean pretty consistently keeps his criticism to himself in front of sam so this is a marked change. and the very next episode script draft includes the infamous "probably pulled the wide-eye hitchhiker routine. dad made me do it all the time on hunts. as bait." so, given the episodes and revelations that bookend 14.13, it's understandable how hard it is to see john and dean interact at all.

but i think it's perfect! because it so clearly shows every truth of their relationship.

firstly, we can look at who john apologizes to. in 1.16, 1.20, and 14.13 john is reunited with sam & dean after time apart. and in all three episodes, he apologizes and/or works to make amends with sam for their fractured relationship. in fact, in 14.13, it's a mention of the winchester surprise that triggers john's apology to sam.

in contrast, the only time john apologizes to dean for his childhood is 2.01 when he says sorry for making dean always have to look after him and sam. and then promptly asks him to kill sam if he has to.

it's crushing to me that at no point does john see the way he treated dean as anything to make amends for. instead, in 1.21 and 14.13, he frames dean not "having a home" or "having a family," "a normal life" as circumstances outside his control or as somehow dean's choice. and yet, john is entirely responsible. he is the one moving dean from school to school, getting him into credit card fraud, taking him on hunts. in 12.09 it's established that dean has as long arrest/warrant record which includes things we never see him getting arrested for in canonical spn. he is the one who always said hunting was temporary (6.02) and yet never allowed for a way out. so even though john's affect is kinder, we know he isn't meaningfully taking accountability for a huge amount of his actions.

it's the reason for the kinder affect we can look at next. because what is one of the most common indicators of abusive dynamics? treating people differently in public vs private. and critically for almost all of 14.13, mary is observing john. and we know that despite their marital problems (5.16), she considered him a good father. he doesn't know that the life he forced sam and dean into is the very worst thing she could have imagined for her children (4.03), but we can tell from his apologies to sam that john is at least aware of things he did which he regrets.

before mary arrives, he is giving sam and dean orders, "You boys better tell me what the hell is going on right now." i recognize he's very disoriented but this affect disappears entirely after mary shows up. i cannot overstate how much i love how not stern and harsh john is here because it shows that he could have always chosen to be like that. but there weren't negative consequences (a wife who might be angry with him) to face.

i've said before that i think one of the reasons that john kept sam & dean away from hunter gatherings and meeting other hunters (2.03, 12.06) is because hunters they met might have acted exactly how dean acts to krissy's dad in 7.11 and told him to quit. the hunters/community john did maintain relationships with were sometimes kinda shitty people - Deacon (2.19), Travis (4.04), Martin (8.09). not that Bobby, Caleb, Pastor Jim, Bill Harvell, Daniel Elkin were necessarily like that but I do think its worth looking at who John's friends who he didn't have a falling-out with were. Like Fred Jones who gave Sam & Dean their first beers when they weren't even 10 (8.08).

some other details about that first reunion kitchen conversation that always stick out to me are john finishing the drink dean pours for him while dean & sam barely touch theirs. it's also significant to me that dean tells mary in 12.01 that john died to save him. but here, he tells john that he died taking out yellow-eyes (which is literally not what happened. like specifically he died by making a deal with azazel). dean, always working to deescalate and maintain the peace, instantly clocks which thing they will each find more soothing to hear.

one thing that i see people often critique is the idea that john coming back is somehow the thing dean wished for the most. but what dean actually says is that this is something he's wanted since he was four years old. so it's really not about john back at all. john died when dean was 27. but mary died when dean was four. and that cause nearly every hard, traumatic, awful thing in dean's life. to some extent, i think it was about wanting john to have mary back. throughout dean's entire life, john used the loss of mary as an excuse for how he acted and what he made dean & sam do. so of course what dean wants most is... for that not to have happened.

and this brings my to my second favorite part of the episode. but you'll only catch if you're paying attention. dean says he's thrilled to have john back and yet at every chance he gets, he leaves the room john's in. he leaves the kitchen when john reunites with mary. dean gets the grocery list from mary while john has a tearful apology with sam. dean talks to john again only because he has to tell him about the pearl but then leaves to help cook. after dinner, he goes to do the dishes. dean really is not actually trying to spend time with john - even when they get a deadline for when their time with him is over, dean is not trying to make the most of it. and god i love him for that.

i sympathize with people who are frustrated to see dean fall back into the role of caretaker for john's emotions and wellbeing. and i agree but i appreciate that it is very clear that's what's happening. he's performing the role he's always been forced to perform. he may be more aware of it as a performance this time. he may be taking more steps to remove himself from having to interact with john. but i would almost feel worse if he wasn't getting john a drink, doing what he said, going on little errands, cooking, cleaning up. john says "You want to give your mom a hand?" and of course he goes.

i think dean always has held both deep hurt from and empathy for john and this episode is full of both of them. and while i think it's always hard to hear dean slip back into those moments of empathy (8.12 is always rough for me), it's so real that's where he would be sometimes. so much of being a child who's made responsible for your parent's emotions means that there is such a deep part of you that wants to protect them from harm.

i personally think the song "til it shines" by bob seger is an insane choice to play over their dinner scene. because, though that's not the part of the song that plays, the lines "Take the chip off of my shoulder. Smooth out all the lines. Take me out among the rustling pines, till it shines, ah, till it shines" always strike me as trying to see something through rose-tinted glasses in a way. or maybe acknowledging the performative, white-washing that's being done?

anyway, i understand why people want dean to have a cathartic yelling session with john. but honestly im not sure that would ever sit right with me. i think honestly 14.13 is kind of perfect. john comes back and it proves everything. john could always be kind (he took you to a freaking baseball game (4.19)). he could always apologize. he always did say he wanted the boys to get out of hunting but never even tried to make it happen.

and that brings me to my favorite part of the episode. my darling. my baby. my treasure. dean says, "i have a family." and what that means to him is his own. he gets to keep it. he gets to mean it without john's scrutiny. without him tearing it apart. the conversation sam & dean have over dishes is another deeply meaningful part. dean specifically rejects the idea of telling john the truth about any of it - even if it would change things. because he's good with who he is. "Cause our lives – they’re ours."

this matters so much to me because i don't think dean's healing can ever be contingent on john - not on his reaction, not on finally telling him the truth, not on john getting comeuppance for all the shit he did, not even on changing the past so john has more information because the critical thing that 14.13 and 4.19 show is that john literally did not do the best he could. so what could change that?

in the kitchen, dean tells sam that he blamed john for "the longest time". do you understand how much it means to me to hear him say that?! because i think of course blaming john is the first step! dean was hurt and he was angry about that and he should be!

but dean's healing can't just stop there. while i know there will be moments as he heals where he's angry with john again, the beautiful core of dean's healing i see in 14.13 is him being clear on where the boundary of him and his wants, goals, needs, and priorities are vs john's. i think a lot of dean's young relationship with john was him being forced to keep parts of himself (the parts that didn't like to hunt for example) secret out of shame and necessity. but here, i don't think dean is carrying that shame anymore. he is very clear on how what he wants from his life differs from what john would want but dean sticks to his own values. he has a family. he's good with who he is. it's just none of john's goddamn business.

anyway, as always mitski says it best....

plus we get two of THE MOST shots of dean's face of all time for me!!! like my god stabbing me would hurt less!!!

plus! PLUS!! CHERRY ON TOP!!! LOOK AT THESE NOOOOOODLES

in conclusion. your honor, i love her.

[brainworms-all-night-long]

Hello hi, I'm Brainworms and this be an all inclusive intro to the hellspace that's my brain and this blog!! Do not attempt to find any parallels in my blorbos to my behavior and desires I promise it says nothing about the very core of me as a living being haha

I also made a Bsky account a while ago!! I am slowly piecing it together somewhat. I feel like making it solely for my art and so that I have an actual social media to point people towards when they ask for it shdhfjsj

And while you're here, please donate to these fundraisers for Sahar Shehab, Maryam, Wasim, Heba Al-Dahdouh, Mahmoud and Ali as I'm unable to do so myself

Every silly appearing above lives fulltime in my brain and refuses to pay the mortgage, in fact, is very adamant they will never do so. Henceforth, I yap about them sometimes!! Some more than others *coughNinecough* but they are always present

>Now to the tags I actively use!!

sonic prime / sonic the hedgehog / miles nine prower – The most of thoughts at the actual documented begining of life for this blog, and I like Nine!! A lot!! A character made specifically for me I think....

murder drones / arcane / nimona 2023 / dreamtale (UTMV) – Other stuff besides Sonic that I draw and yap about, although this is still mainly a Sonic blog

me does arts / littol doodl / actually finished doodl – My art tags!! I've been drawing the same character for over a year and a half now help :D Have no idea why I decided to split them into three separate categories but I believe the names are pretty self explanatory

me when I finish writing – I do a drabble or two sometimes as well just, don't expect for me to actually finish anything I start writing even though I say I will, that tag name is a lie

the silly text box – answered asks whenever I remember to use the tag lmao

silly brainworms – my yappings, Nine character analyses and headcanons!!

There's no talk tag, if you see my random unrelated thoughts, it was destined and once in a lifetime event

>I also have a few AUs but mostly of the "What if crossover" variety

Prime bros – a more or less non commited collaborative effort of random.headcanons and drabbles between me and @/000marie198 and anyone else who has thoughts and wants to join in on the fun on the idea of having the Shatterverse foxes (Nine, Sails, Mangey and Tails) living together in green hill and causing mayhem because the way the show left them was bullshit and unsatisfying!!

The same but different is my own personal version of the prime bros universe that is now actually being incredibly slowly written and the first two chapters are on my Ao3!!

Project 09 – a Tails gets adopted by Eggman AU except its Nine getting "adopted" by the Chaos Council and he is not having a good time, scratch that, no one is having a good time in there.

Over the hills – is a Dreamtale and Sonic crossover brought on by The Nine-tailed travel guide through the multiverse event conceived by @/Donelywell and mashed with my long time held dreamswap au idea of Dream taking Night and running away from the village after taking some drastic measures that is also posted on Ao3!! (more stuff will come to it in time. I hope)

running from a Nightmare – another Dreamtale au, this time about corrupted Nightmare being set loose on the Sonic world by none other than Eggman and the suffering that comes with it (also fighting tooth and tail to get it written)

the n 'n n's (read as m&m's) – unserious crossover where I put Nine Night and Nimona together and have them be silly (perhaps Nuzi will tag along some day too...)

And because I keep having Dreamtale & Sonic thoughts, I do lump them all together under the dreamtale and sonic tomfoolery tag!!

prime arcane – as seen above, I like arcane!! Jinx and Nine are eerily similar in their sibling and identity struggles, I put them together, boom an Au :D other characters are there too but I need to get around actually designing them....

>This will get updated in case I get possessed by something new or remember a tag I forgor

——

Hey you scrolled this far might as well put some more random trivia abt me here :D

>paleontology and zoology nerd, but only as an avid listener to four hour YouTube documentaries, I don't actually know shit- (Miniminuteman, Casual Geo and Lydnsey Nikole hyper carry this special interest shoutout to them)

>Obviously a followup to previous point needed, favorite dinosaur is the Archeopterix and the animal ever is the Blunt Headed Tree Snake (which is also my Sonicsona by the name of Shoelace)

>I have a pet snake, her name is Ebi and is a black head spider python!!

>Fourth (and last, pray for me please) year of studying Mechanical engineering, I also have no fucking clue what I'm doing, I don't know a lick of math :DD

>Favorite color is pink!! (In case you couldn't tell by my art and this whole post lmao) I went through a goddamn hero's journey to learn to love it alright you can pry the seven plain hot pink shirts and hoodies in own from my cold dead hands

>I'm Slovak!! Niečo niečo hokej, Tatry, a zlatý Bažant

>Aro, Ace and Agender (that's where the AAA battery comes in lmao)

>undiagnosed but there's.... something...

>I could recite the story of the ugly duckling backwards as a kid (unrelated to previous two points)

[guusagi]

MCR Fanfic Rec/Review List!

tl/dr: This is an MCR slash fiction recommendation list with various ratings, multiple ships, AUs and sections; not only with summaries but also my non-spoilery thoughts. I'm going to be yapping a lot in this one. MINORS DNI (as in i cant stop you from reading these but no comments plz🙏) Section 1: Danger Days / Fabulous Killjoys Section 2: The Infamous Fics (for example: Unholyverse) Section 3: Desolation Row Section 4: Various MCR AUs Pairings listed: Frank/Gerard; Fun Ghoul/Party Poison; Jet Star/Party Poison; Jet Star/Party Poison/Fun Ghoul; Frank/Mikey; Pete/Patrick (from FOB)

Welcome and be warned (or enjoy), this is a pretty long and wordy list! I've been actively reading mcr fics for about a month and a half now, so I felt compelled to do something with all this energy. The idea for this blog post came to me because I had to share my newfound knowledge!!

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/guusagi/766055506866569216/mcr-fanfic-recreview-list-2

If you can't stand RPF (real person fiction), feel free to just browse the Danger Days section, as I personally think it's disconnected enough from the band to be enjoyable. I was uncomfortable with rpf at first but I ended up loving these fics so much I stopped caring lol! I will still mention how much real life is involved in each fic so there are more options with different levels of comfort for you.

The most common ship on this list will be Frerard, because not only it's the easiest to find, but also cus a lot of amazing fics are written about these two! I also included some Frikey, cus it's underrated in my eyes and so good! I also found some Rayrard and poly ships yay!

I will start with some Danger Days fics cus that's how I started reading MCR fandom fics, and I LOVE the setting of this album and the Killjoys comic series! Party Poison/Fun Ghoul is the main ship, but you’ll also find Party Poison/Jet Star! There's also a poly ship (Party Poison/Fun Ghoul/Jet Star).

I decided to also yap about the most infamous fics in the fandom, like Unholyverse and A Splitting of the Mind (plus a 3rd one). I was skeptical at first, but what a ride it was reading these fics!

I also included a few Desolation Row AUs cus there's not tons but I ADORE the music video and it makes for an interesting punk/rebellion theme.

And finally, I’ll highlight some other general AUs, as well as a few MCR as a band fics for those who enjoy rpf in particular. This is my longest section.

Please feel free to explore the full tags on AO3, as some fics might have stuff that's triggering to some. If you want to avoid smut I will specifically mention if there is any, sometimes we just want cute fluff! I also will mention if there's something iffy like an age gap, or non-con, I personally do not go out of my way to read either, but there are 2 fics on this list that include those.

Also I love longfics so this is gonna have a lot of stories with around or over 100k words.

The structure of each fic rec is as follows:

-Name of the fic, and the author. -Rating and if the fic includes smut. -The main pairing, as well as sub pairings if relevant to the story, also what type of AU it is. -Main POV, who’s the main character of the story! -Are the characters MCR? If the fic is written with mychem as a band similar to real life (also if it follows their trajectory in life, like their wives and kids, or if it’s an AU where those relationships don’t happen), or if they use the same irl names but are not in a band like an AU. In the case of the killjoys, if their ‘city names’ are the same as mcr or not. -Status is if they are completed fics, works in progress, or abandoned/on hiatus. I also added amount of chapters and word count, and if it's a oneshot or otherwise. -Links will send you directly to the fic on AO3, if it’s a collection of stories I link that instead. -My summaries are just what I personally thought was the main plot of the story. -Personal thoughts are my observations on the fic, how much I enjoyed it, what I found unique about this story, and my feelings overall. I also will specifically mention if the fic has a happy or angsty ending, for those who either enjoy or don’t enjoy sad endings. I love happy endings but I did give some sad endings a try, even if I don't go out of my way looking for them.

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Section 1: Danger Days AUs

This is how I got started with MCR fanfiction. I wanted to read fics about mcr and was uncomfortable with rpf at first (like I mentioned before, I got over the discomfort cus I ended up loving the non-DD fics as well). Danger Days is a super fun universe, and I really enjoy the idea of the Killjoys. I hope I picked a good variety of options!

Don't Need the System by LiberXI

Rating: Explicit (smut in final chapter) Pairing: Frerard - Party Poison/Fun Ghoul Main POV: Fun Ghoul Are the characters MCR?: No, but they use the same irl names. Status: Completed, total of 25 chapters and 144k words Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55799308 My Summary: This is a Party Poison origin story! Fun Ghoul gets captured by Bl/ind to reintegrate him into Battery City's society. Little does he know, the supervisor he's been assigned to is none other than Gerard, the face of Bl/ind's Propaganda! Gerard doesn't really know how human interaction works and shenanigans ensue. Personal Thoughts: This is actually quite the unique spin on the danger days formula compared to most I've read, where Party Poison is not yet themself but being an active part of the System! Gerard uses he/him pronouns throughout half of the fic, then they switch to they/them. Korse is sort of their guardian and grants them privileges most don't get. For example having a lot of luxuries, as well as being off pills. They are still mostly controlled and very naive about the world. Most of the fic takes place within Gerard's apartment, as Fun Ghoul is not allowed to leave. The writing is super compelling and you can't help but read the next chapter as soon as you finish the previous one! The relationship between Gee and Ghoul starts off on the wrong foot but it's honestly super cute after that. I'm still actively reading this one, so once this story is complete I’ll attach an updated review.

Edit 10/23/24: So the fanfic JUST ended! I read the final chapter today and man, yep, there was smut alright! There's only smut in the final chapter, so you're safe if you want to avoid those types of scenes (also I want to warn that there is usage of the f-slur in one portion of the final chapter, but it's used with consent). My thoughts on the story have not changed, I still love it to bits!! I'm sad that it's already over but that's life for you haha, all things come to an end. If you are iffy about reading WIP fics, now you can totally read this one start to finish!

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I Believe We're the Enemy by Test_subject_306

Rating: Mature (no smut) Pairing: Party Poison/Fun Ghoul Main POV: Fun Ghoul Are they MCR?: No, only Frank is mentioned by his real name. Status: Completed, 39 chapters and 104k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8097178 My Summary: Party Poison gets captured by Korse, and is presumed dead by Fun Ghoul and the others. However, Party returns in an altered state, completely brainwashed. It's up to Ghoul and the others to get the old Party back... will they succeed? Personal Thoughts: Good god, this one was a wild ride! I actually had to take breaks to read a softer/less angsty fic between chapters, cus man this story HURT. Party Poison is brainwashed as all hell, and pretty nasty with the others... A fair warning, I think it's important to mention that this does NOT have a happy ending, but man the ride was so worth it! It's sort of an open-ended conclusion. If you read A Splitting of the Mind, that's how I'd describe the ending's structure.

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Graffiti On Your Grave by Honestmouse (Part 1 of "Sing It Out")

Rating: Teens and Up (implied scenes but no smut.) Pairings: Party Poison/Fun Ghoul & Jet Star/Kobra Kid Main POV: Various! Are they MCR?: No, they use unique names. Status: WIP; 3 out of 4 parts have been completed so far, with a 4th one in the works. As of 09/16/2024 there has been a collective total of 64 chapters and 269k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1909105 My Summary: Post-SING music video, our Killjoys are near death when they get rescued by an underground resistance in Battery City. This story takes place after The Girl is safely secured. They navigate their new home, and meet many new people, most notably The Youngbloods. Personal Thoughts: The world-building in this one was awesome! A new place to navigate, a lot of characters to meet, and overall a compelling story! I was pleasantly surprised that our killjoys had their own original names and not just the usual MCR band member's names. This really helped with keeping the immersion, especially if you enjoy Danger Days fanfics cus of the ease of separation. This is also only part 1 of a series called Sing It Out, and I'm not done with reading the others yet!

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Tongue Tied, In Distress by tired_stressed

Rating: Not Rated (there's only implied sexual content, aka ‘fades to black b4 they bang’ kinda deal, so I’d personally say teens and up) Pairing: Fun Ghoul/Party Poison/Jet Star (yep, it’s poly over here!) Main POV: Fun Ghoul Are they MCR?: No, and only their killjoy names are used. Status: Unfinished with no updates since 2023, 31 chapters and 152k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41650503 My Summary: Fun Ghoul and Jet Star reconnect after losing each other as kids. Ghoul also HATES those from Battery City, which is ironic because it was thanks to Party Poison and Kobra Kid that he gets to see Jet again. Ghoul has to reluctantly accept a deal between them, and they somehow end up teaming up for longer than he expected. Personal Thoughts: Despite this being an unfinished/maybe abandoned story, I still wanted to recommend it! I honestly really enjoyed the writing, and how much Ghoul HATED Poison's guts at first. This is sort of an enemies to lovers trope for Ghoul and Party, while being a childhood friends to lovers trope for Ghoul and Jet. Also not to mention how it's the only poly relationship I found and read from the fandom so far. I can't delve deeper into it without spoiling so that's all! Plz read it!!

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doesn't have to all be destruction by spelling bee

Rating: Mature (implied sexual content, no smut) Pairing: Party Poison/Jet Star & pre-established Kobra Kid/Fun Ghoul Main POV: Jet Star  (for once, poor Ray is never the main character) Are they MCR?: No, they use unique city names. Status: Completed, 26 chapters and 156k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17909432 My Summary: In this universe, people can manifest superpowers! Bl/ind wants to find them all and train them to work for the government, but Poison and Kobra manage to escape without their powers being revealed. Fun Ghoul has been abandoned in the desert since he was young, and Jet Star is an agent for Bl/ind, although reluctantly. Poison, Kobra and Ghoul team up as teenagers, and when Poison gets captured for conversion, Jet Star helps them escape, and decides to join them. It's up to Jet to figure out how to live in the desert, and perhaps become a killjoy himself. He also needs to learn how to control his strange superpower... Personal Thoughts: This fic was recommended to me by a fellow mcrmy friend! I really enjoyed the plot, not to mention the fact that it has some rareships imo! It’s so refreshing to have the protagonist be Jet Star/Ray for a change! Party Poison/Jet Star is really not explored very often, and what a shame cus with Poison's sass and energy, and Jet's kindness and..grounded..ness, it makes for a nice dynamic where they compliment each other very well! Fun Ghoul/Kobra Kid is already an established relationship, which is a nice change of pace, though I sort of felt disappointed that we only got a bit of backstory on how they got together cus, they're so stinkin cute (and later I came to learn that I just love frikey..)! Also the sexual content is only implied, so you're safe if you don't want to read smut.

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Overall Thoughts on this Section:

And that wraps up my Danger Days AUs, there are MORE I've read/completed, but I wanted to highlight the ones I thought were either unique, and/or have very decent writing. Danger Days and the Killjoys make for an excellent background for fiction, and many people have created self-inserts and OCs. There's probably plenty of original killjoy character fics that I haven't found yet.

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Section 2: THE BIG THREE!

I wanted this next section to focus on three very (in)famous fanfics from the MCR fandom. I started reading Unholyverse sorta ironically, expecting a My Immortal moment, but I was super pleasantly surprised! After finishing that series, I decided to read the other two and man I'm glad I did. So yeah, whatever I say here may be nothing new but I wanted to share my thoughts on them!

So, without further ado..!

Unholyverse by Bexless

Rating: Mature (lotsa blood, especially in Part 1, there's eventual smut at part 3 i think? i forgor...) Pairing: Frerard - Priest!Gerard/Body Piercer!Frank (with sub-pairing Mikey/Ray) Main POV: Frank Are they MCR?: No, they use MCR's irl names but this is an AU with no relation to the band. Status: Completed, 5 parts total and 186k words. Link: Republished on AO3 by bexless, separated by the main parts (full collection: https://archiveofourown.org/series/9795) My Summary: Frank works in a tattoo shop as a body piercer, training under Bob (Bryar) to become a tattoo artist. Mikey works as their receptionist, and Brian is the owner of the shop. Ray is sort of a hair stylist and makes herbal concoctions I guess?? Frank's world turns upside down, when he gets himself a mysterious tattoo one night from a stranger that is itching him badly...suddenly he's bleeding all over?? He also meets Gerard, Mikey's brother, who's hot and also a priest, oops! I guess they also have to travel together and vanquish demons as a team?! (If you know of the movie Stigmata, this is basically the plot of that movie apparently? I didn't watch it myself) Personal Thoughts: I have a lot to say about this one. Due to the nature of Gerard's job as a priest, this story has MANY discussions about religion, specifically Catholicism. If you aren't comfortable with that, I understand if you skip. My personal relationship with religion is that my family is Catholic, but my parents are non-practicing so the most we've done was attend Church for weddings and Easter? I also went through Communion. I personally do not identify with the Catholic faith, but I still managed to enjoy this fic a lot and was glad I gave it a chance. It's really hard to find where to begin with this one, cus honestly... this was one of the best fanfictions I have ever read, period! Which is shocking to me cus when there's a famous fic in a fandom, it's usually because it's like, My Immortal or something (aka so bad it's good). Rarely have I seen popular fics with genuinely high quality writing. This could also be cus I do not interact with fandoms much and have always kept my distance? The writing was genuinely clever and quick-witted, as well as super compelling. I'm a fairly calm reader and don’t often react out loud to things I read, but I found myself cry-laughing at many parts of Unholyverse. Maybe it's cus it took itself a little bit more seriously due to the era it was written in, and it could be seen as cheesy by today's standards. I also just think the writer is very good at writing funny dialogue, maybe it wasn’t taking itself that seriously after all (idk im neurodivergent lmao). The characters feel so believable, and I found myself seeing them as completely original characters pretty quickly. The relationship between Frank and Gerard is SO slowburn it hurts, but it hurts so good! The tension and pining is crazy, and I wish I could say more but I don't want to spoil!! I want to revisit this fic again soon, in fact I'm itching to re-read it now! This story is so good I wish for it to be published one day with changed names to make it original. Also, Fall Out Boy is in this fic LOL!

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A Splitting of the Mind by Shoved2agree

Rating: Explicit (smut mostly at the end, this is a mental institution AU so fair warning) Pairing: Frerard Main POV: Gerard Are they MCR?: No, they use their irl names but no relation to the band. Status: Completed, 21 chapters and 144k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535958 My Summary: We follow Gerard, a mental institution patient, who believes he's the only normal one there. Gerard believes there is a group of people who want to kill him, so he has selective mutism to keep “them” from finding him. There he meets Frank, a new addition to the ward, and instantly feels a connection with him he's never felt with another person before. The story is very psychological so be warned. It's not a fluffy story at all, and doesn't have a happy ending, but it's at the very least a hopeful one! Personal Thoughts: What isn't there to say about this one..? It's also in my top list of fanfiction in general. It's a truly well-written story, you think you start to understand how Gerard's mind works, and then you don't. It's not a spoiler to say that he suffers from Schizophrenia, he's just completely unaware of it, or in denial it's hard to say. The way his inner thoughts are described are very compelling, I personally do not know anyone who suffers from this condition, nor do I know much about how it works, so I will not judge which part of the portrayal was good or bad, but at the very least it didn't seem offensive and it seemed to be respectful. I actually got super immersed in his thought process and I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't at times, just like him. I can at least say that it didn't feel like it was glorified at all. Frank's reason for his admission to the institution is also super heartbreaking and raw. Overall this story was definitely not a happy one, but I truly enjoyed this fic, the ending was just, god my heart😭... one of the best written scenes in fiction, not even kidding. I highly recommend you read this if you can stomach a sad yet hopeful ending.

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The Anatomy of a Fall by novembersmith

Rating: Explicit (smut near the end of the fic, this is a high school AU and there’s an age gap (kind of, not really, can't say without spoiling) but Gerard is 18 from my understanding.) Pairing: Frerard Main POV: Gerard Are they MCR?: No, but they use the same names though. Status: Completed, 12 chapters and 107k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/155168 My summary: Gerard moves to a quiet town in the middle of nowhere with his mom and little brother Mikey. Imagine a sort of Forks in Twilight kind of gloomy and mysterious atmosphere. Gerard goes into the woods one day and meets a strange boy called Frank. He doesn't seem to go to their school despite being his age, or at least, he hasn't bumped into him yet. This boy is super cool but really mysterious, they become close friends quickly and hang out together after school in the forest. There are also a lot of strange acts of violence happening in this town, and Frank wants to find out what is going on in this weird small town. Personal Thoughts: There's a twist that's hinted at super early and kind of obvious, this is a ghost story after all, but it doesn't ruin the experience at all. Gerard takes longer to realize what Frank's deal is than the reader but it's totally the point! This story was another great one from the line-up, and it DOES have a happy ending, yay! I really enjoyed the relationship between Gerard and Frank, the progression felt natural, and the mystery is great and has an excellent payoff methinks. The world building in this one was really good as well, I could totally picture this little town. Also, it comes with ''official'' art!

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Overall thoughts on this section:

I started off reading Unholyverse, assuming it was the most popular fic because it was similar to My Immortal in infamy. However, that could be further from the truth! Without repeating myself too much like in the review, it was super well written and compelling and I fell in love with this story! I also loved the other two I read. If I had to ''rank'' the fics to my personal preferences it would be something like Unholyverse > A Splitting of the Mind = Anatomy of a Fall. If you have been hesitant with reading these famous fics like I was, please give them a chance!  I do have to admit, I deliberately ignored “A Dove Keeper” due to its severe age gap. Let’s pretend there’s just 3 infamous fics ok??

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Section 3: Desolation Row AUs

I wanted to give the AUs based on the Desolation Row cover/music video some love! They are few and far between, which is a shame. This MV altered my brain chemistry not gonna lie, it was one of the best looks for the band imo. These fics are mostly oneshots, but on the lengthier side!

Truth on the Airwaves by stoplightglow

Rating: Mature (implied sexual content, no smut) Pairing: Frerard Main POV: Gerard, but it switches out of his POV often. Are they MCR?: Despite it being an AU, i’d say yes. They call themselves My Chemical Romance and sing their songs. Status: Completed, Oneshot with 34k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15704250 My Summary: This is a prequel to the Desolation Row music video, it also includes a ‘what happens after’ epilogue. Gerard is an office worker in a boring job, but the government is censoring the world more and more, they even banned booze and fun apparently! Gerard and company decide it’s time to take matters into their punk rock hands. This is an AU where MCR become a band to protest against censorship and illegally tour to spread hope and rebellion. With the help of a radio host, they spread their illegal music to the masses. They call themselves My Chemical Romance and create the Bullets album and more! Follow their shenanigans and see what happens :D Personal thoughts: This was the first desolation row fic I read, and man was it fun! This fic is transparent about the members being MCR, but it’s still an AU. The writing is super fun, Gerard is confused about how he feels about Frank throughout the fic in the cutest way possible. I love it! I also like the fact that they included what happens after they get arrested in the music video. It’s a happy ending yay!

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Heaven's Not About Your Reputation by impertinence

Rating: Mature (some smut) Pairing: Frerard Main POV: Gerard mostly. Are they MCR?: Pretty much yes! Still AU though. Status: Completed, oneshot with 28k words. (this might actually be one of the oldest fics on this list, from 2009) Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27280 My Summary: This is a collection of scenes with Gerard and the gang touring with their music, rebelling against the government and overall pissing off the cops. Gerard and Frank got some shit going on, after kissing each other to prove a point on stage, they’re confused about what this all means. Personal Thoughts: Not too much to say about this one, the writing is very good and is the main reason I recommend it. The scenes of their shenanigans are super entertaining too, lots of bickering and banter in this one! It’s quite short (for my standards) but definitely worth a read!

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Overall thoughts on this section:

There aren’t many fics here, as truthfully there isn’t too much to work with in Desolation Row, but the ones that I did read were pretty great! My personal headcanon is that this AU takes place before the apocalypse in Danger Days, as the government is starting to get super involved with people’s freedom of speech but isn’t completely controlling everyone just yet. I wanted to put this section before the other AUs, so that we can give our Desolation Row AUs some extra attention!

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Section 4: Various MCR AUs

Finally, I’ll be highlighting some other MCR AUs that don’t fit in a specific section. I’ll add an extra description for each one; like high school, or college, other jobs, childhood friends, enemies to lovers ect. This is also the section with the most recommendations so buckle in!

I'll start with some "MCR working at a store" AUs!

"that was easy" by metaleaterz aka The Staples Fic

Rating: Explicit (smut included) Pairing: Frerard & background Ray/Mikey Main POV: Frank Are they MCR?: No, they have their own separate paths in life. Status: Completed with 14 chapters and 88k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25903483 My Summary: Frank is in college and running out of money fast, Mikey tells him to apply to Staples and work there with him, Ray and Gerard. Brian is their manager too! Frank and Gerard's relationship blossoms from there and shenanigans ensue. This story was based on a tweet Frank posted about working at Staples one time, but just being high and not actually working much LOL. Personal Thoughts: This is actually another very popular fic, and was written in 2020! Most of the popular fics I've read were written before mcr's break up, so it was a pleasant surprise! This story was honestly super funny, the Staples setting is iconic asf, but the romance in this one was also extra cute and it was super satisfying when they finally get together hehe! I highly recommend this one, it also has excellent writing.

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Emotional Brilliance by kopperblaze

Rating: Mature (no smut) Pairing: Frikey (Frank/Mikey) & some poly?Lindsey/Ray/Gerard Main POV: Mikey (for once lmao) Are they MCR?: Nah, but Frank is part of a band and so is Ray. Status: Completed, Oneshot with 20k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/501146 My Summary: Mikey loves working at Lush, he really does. Despite his music career not working out for him, he loves working there with Ray. Unfortunately, Frank, who used to bully Gerard in high school, gets hired to work with them. Mikey hates his guts, but Frank is much more friendly than at school, maybe people do change..? Personal Thoughts: Finally some Frikey! (Hope the ship name is correct lol) No for real, I love frerard like everyone else, but frank/mikey is a close second. I'd like the ship even more if there were MORE FICS about them!! This one was pretty cute, and Mikey's hatred of Frank is super funny to me, because he really doesn't have a reason anymore, does he? Lush is also another funny setting, I can't imagine how they can stand the fruity smell in that store, it's so overpowering I never stepped into it much. This one was short but it felt complete! Anyways please give this one a try we need more frikey appreciation in this house!!!

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We Used To Be Friends by ladyfoxxx

Rating: Explicit (smut included near the climax/end) Pairing: Frikey; bassist!Mikey x School Teacher!Frank Main POV: Frank Are they MCR?: No, Mikey is a bassist for The Used and Frank is a school teacher. Status: Completed, Oneshot with 50k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/458760 My Summary: Frank used to be a part of a band before it split and ultimately ended his music career. Mikey managed to join The Used as their bassist, but Frank had not been contacted by him in years. Frank has since become a high school teacher, and one day Gerard finds a way to make the two reconnect! Mikey invites Frank to join them on their tour around Jersey during Spring Break, and he agrees reluctantly. Follow Frank on his tour as he navigates some old feelings and has a taste of what it's like to tour again. Personal Thoughts: Eeeek this was so cuuute! I usually don't read oneshots because I love me a longfic, but 50k words ain't nothing to sneeze at either. Also this fic made me fall in love with the frikey ship, like seriously it's too cute. I like Mikey's aloofness in fanfics, he's so deadpan in an endearing kind of way. I felt bad for Frank being insecure and it hit me a little too close to home cus he was so relatable haha. This is a fun story with some drama, but it ends happily! Honestly this fic will make you love this ship.

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When We're Both Thirty by Helena_Hathaway

Rating: Explicit (smut near the end) Pairing: Frerard (childhood friends, to enemies to lovers) Main POV: Frank Are They MCR?: Nope! Just the same names and a "if MCR wasn't a band" AU. (Gerard works in art for example) Status: Completed, 30 chapters and 84k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2757812 My summary: Gerard and Frank had been inseparable as little kids, they loved each other before they could put a name to it. They sign a contract saying if they don't get married at 30 years old, they will marry each other! Unfortunately they have a falling out and end up hating each other's guts throughout most of their school life, and lost contact after high school. They are both approaching 30... and their moms try to reconnect them once more. However, both Gerard and Frank still hate each other, so they both agree to help find themselves partners to avoid getting married! Personal Thoughts: This was a super fun story, I also devoured this one. It's like, an enemies to lovers too so one of my fave tropes hohoho! I love how supportive their moms were, so much so that they shipped their kids together! The writing was very solid, and these two are total idiots! I love when ppl write this ship as idiots in love, it's just so obvious they have a thing for each other but are holding old petty grudges. Their attraction towards one another, despite trying their darndest to still hate each other, is highly entertaining. I strongly recommend this one! It’s super sweet, funny and the payoff is so worth it!

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Before the Second Show by CharredLips

Rating: Teens and Up (no smut, this is a fluffy one) Pairing: Frerard (Bullets Era) Main POV: Frank Are they MCR?: Yes, but this is an AU where they don’t meet their irl partners. Status: Completed with 18 chapters and 75k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32276128 My Summary: This story is set during the Bullets era, and as the title suggests, it takes place during the very early days of MCR. Frank is the new addition to their band as they start their first tour, cramped van and all. However, he’s starting to have weird feelings about Gerard and is unsure what to do with them. Gerard is also feeling something but Frank is unaware that it's mutual. These two are complete idiots in love! This story also just follows the typical early 2000s band tour shenanigans; sleepless nights, driving all day and all night, eating junk food, getting wasted and smoking cigs, little to no showers etc. what's not to love?! Personal Thoughts: This is the only “true” rpf story on this list, the only difference is that in this AU Gerard and Frank don’t end up with their irl partners. Also this is a teens and up rated fic so you don’t have to worry about smut, perfect if you like the ship but don’t want to see em bang. I gotta say, this fic was SUPER FUCKING CUTE! Their mutual pining, how obviously they like each other and try to be near each other at every waking (and sleeping) moment, this is just so fun and precious. They’re so dumb, omg! I might be biased towards the idiots in love tag. There’s a lot of secretive intimacy (non-sexual) and hiding to do gay stuff together and man it was fun to read. I do wanna say tho Gerard has pretty bad self-esteem issues, and talks down on himself a lot, and it might hit a bit too close to home for some (like me). This one also has the cutest happy ending ever though!! Another banger!

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Did You Miss Me? 'Cus I Missed You by LiberXI

Rating: Explicit (smut with plot) Pairing: Frerard Main POV: Frank Are They MCR?: No, this is a college AU Status: Completed with 3 chapters and 35k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48104839 My Summary: Frank is starting college and is super excited to enjoy the freedom that comes with that. Mikey and Ray go to a college party with Frank, and he bumps into Gerard, who also lives on the same college campus as the others. They used to hang out a lot more back a few years ago, and Frank is super happy to see him again. While chatting it up and having a smoke together, Gerard and Frank realize that they had missed each other much more than they both expected. Personal Thoughts: This is the 2nd fic from LiberXI that I'd like to recommend, but it's also the most explicit I apologize lol. They wrote a lot more fics than I thought and found this little gem after reading the latest chapter of their DD fic (Don't Need The System). This is definitely a self-indulgent fic rec, it's short and sweet, with smut and their relationship is just rly cute and wholesome. So sort of fluffy smut?! IDK I just wanted an excuse to recommend this one here if anyone likes shorter fics, since I put so many long ones on this list lol. I also love this author's writing style a lot.

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The Calypso Initiative by theficisalie

Rating: Explicit ("activities of the alone variety" in some chapters, smut near the end) Pairing: Frerard (small age gap, Frank is 11 and Gerard is 16 when they meet; they don’t hang out much nor pursue each other till they’re both over 21) Main POV: Frank Are They MCR?: Nope this is a superhero/school AU Status: Completed with 20 chapters and 91k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/280176 My Summary: A superhero AU, where ppl with "mutations" are heavily monitored. They have to either work for the government or live in the streets as fugitives. Frank is 9 years old when his family abandons him, he is found by heroes-in-training Mikey and Gerard, and joins them in their school/compound which educates young mutants and teaches them to control their powers. Frank and Gerard's relationship becomes distant after Gerard becomes a part of an official hero team, and doesn't seem to have time for him anymore and is constantly ignoring him. Yet Frank still wants to join their team, will he succeed? Personal Thoughts: I was super hooked by this one! It's honestly a great story and the format is super satisfying. We follow Frank's journey from living with a group of other abandoned mutant children in the city, to learning how to control his unique powers at the compound, and growing into an adult who is ready to fight crime with his best friends (Gee, Mikey and Ray). I will say though, there is a bit of an age gap between Frank and Gee, Frank being the younger one. I feel like what the author did was pretty tame compared to other fics like a dove keeper (which is waaay worse like the age gap is 17/40 ew, sorry.) Gee and Frank are friends when they're younger and drift apart in between, interacting barely until Frank's 25-ish? So it doesn't feel predatory at all in my opinion. That's about as much as I'm willing to spoil, feel free to skip if any sort of age gap makes you uncomfortable!

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Marked like a bloodstain by drunkonyou

Rating: Teens and Up (no smut) Pairing: Frerard, with sub-pairing Rikey Main POV: Frank Are They MCR?: Nope, this is a vampire AU. Status: Completed, 12 chapters and 56k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29563299 My summary: This story is set in modern times (aka youtube, tiktok stuff is mentioned.) Frank and Ray work in a record store, and one day a tall pale man named Mikey asks to get hired for their night shift, and mentions having a brother with a chronic illness. He gets hired right away! One night, Frank goes to a haunted mansion, and there was Dracula working there, scaring guests...and he was really hot?! He comes back another night just to ask him out, and it's the start of something new! Personal Thoughts: Gosh this was a cute one too! I don't particularly seek out vampire stories, but this one also had a unique spin! Gerard and Frank's relationship is more angsty fluff, but it's so good!! I don't want to spoil much else, so that's all I've got to say! This is another one that's safe for the no-smut enjoyers.

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I am not the Phoenix that you wanted by GhostintheBathroom & Xygenscenic

Rating: Explicit (the first chapter has smut, then it cools down for most of the fic with smut sprinkled in more sparsely) Pairings: Patrick/Pete from FOB; Frerard and Ray/Mikey Main POVs: Various Are They MCR?: Yes and so is Fall Out Boy. AU story still! Status: Completed with 18 chapters and 98k words. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1659725 My Summary: SO this one is unique, it’s actually a Fall Out Boy / MCR / Danger Days crossover. FOB’s Patrick and Pete have an unhealthy relationship; Pete is always on and off with his current girlfriend, while also taking Patrick to his bed. One day, they are taken to the future of California in 2019, where they meet the Killjoys of Danger Days! Time-travel, dimension hopping, fighting hot babes who want to kill them. Courtney Love is somehow involved in all of this as well. This fic is a wild ride from start to finish! Personal Thoughts: This fic isn’t a pure MCR fic, if anything it focuses more on FOB’s Pete and Patrick, which is why I put this as my last fic rec. I still added it to my recommendation list cus it’s honestly one of the craziest, most unique plots I’ve seen in a while. I gave this story a chance despite me not being super familiar with FOB, and glad I did. The plot is absurd but somehow still able to keep its focus, the villains and overall premise are hilarious, and the way they tie together MCR and Danger Days is super unique. Give this story a read if you wanna have a great laugh and go through an emotional rollercoaster as well. The amount of times I laughed or gasped at certain reveals, really got me excited to recommend this one. My summary is super vague cus I don’t want to spoil the absurdity of some plot twists and reveals haha.

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Overall thoughts on this section:

This collection of fics were a super entertaining read. I honestly started out being weirded out by rpf fics of the band, but I quickly was able to suspend my disbelief and enjoy these stories as their own separate thing. AUs save the day once more! It might have helped that MCR as people have changed a lot since then, and they feel like a separate entity from their past selves. I also read so many of these that their irl names don't bother me anymore thanks to exposure therapy lmao!

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That concludes my MCR fic list!

Thank you so so much for reading, this took me a few weeks to work on and I'm so happy to finally be free from my shackles! I am still actively reading new mcr fics, probably until I get super sick of them like I did with ffxiv fics a few months prior. If you read this whole thing you're a trooper. I'm saved. I'm FREE!!

In conclusion: Thank you to the Danger Days album for starting this all; Frerard is an awesome dynamic for slash fiction; Frikey is so cute and underrated but is growing on AO3 from what I've seen; mildly embarrassed to admit I read mcr smut now; I'm cringe and I'm free; I know I'm having my teenager mcr fan phase at age 28 but I don't care! Anyways, enough yapping. Now I rest, thank you again!

[jinbeisluffy]

Me and my friend hung out for a few hours yesterday and yapped about op way too much so now i wanna contribute more sexuality hcs but for side characters instead of any specific group. you can have ur own hcs these r just mine

ace - TRANS TRANS TRANS TRANS TRANS you will believe in transmasc ace agenda. he is so trans, what are you doing walking around shirtless CONSTANTLY if not to flex your top surgery scars. he’d beat up anyone as a kid who called him a girl hes known this for a WHILE. sexuality wise hes gay, hes gay and theres not a hint of asexuality in him because hes a freak and unapologetically loves men openly. gay icon in the op world

law - i havent seen law being shipped with a woman once and i find that really funny and telling of what people think of him. and theyre correct, hes a gay man. difference between him and ace is that he’d rather die than admit he even likes people so yk. cis but he did ace’s top surgery

sabo - i have never before seen a character so very much be aromantic without being an implied aromantic character. hes not repulsed by romance its just that hes preoccupied with overthrowing the government and supporting his brothers at all times, he has other things to worry abt. gender, could be anything and could honestly fluctuate depending on the day. at the very least, he fist fights transphobes on the daily and in a modern au would hangout at iva’s drag bar and fight anyone who acts weird

yamato - if you dont think yamato is a transman i want you to get away from my blog okay thanks. that isnt a hc, thats a fact and ppl who disagree are weird in my eyes. sexuality wise, he could honestly like ANYONE, but he just finds himself drawn to men more often than not (ace) so if you were to ask him he’d just say “oh men are cool, women are pretty but you know i cant find myself drawn to them” and he thinks hes normal get a load of this guy

kaku - most proudly bisexual guy to exist. i think he started to think more to himself about things during his time at water 7. he could also be okay with it and live his life that way without any shame because he wasnt an assassin working for the government there, he was kaku so yk, he could actually openly be with whoever he wanted. gender, cis man but if you talk about him using they/them only he’d just laugh and not correct you

lucci - hah gay. him and kaku probably got married in water 7. cp9 questioned kaku for marrying lucci, meanwhile pauile just questioned to himself how things would work cause of the pigeon. lucci is such a gay man, he fucking trans too dont ask me how i know i just know. Ai can sniff out my fellow transguys from a mile away alright

kalifa - oh i love it when women hate on men but the second a woman shows up she acts all flirty and confident. totally heterosexual of you kalifa. no but shes such a man hating lesbian, she always has been and could probably be due to men’s treatment of her during childhood which made her really not like most of them. i need to write out a backstory for her damn. oh and shes trans trust me on that one

koby - sometimes a lot of op characters will be inlove with luffy and never get their feelings returned, and one of those people is koby. yeah hes gay, and asexual he just kept discovering stuff like that when training under garp cause garp is so okay with everything, and then we incorporate more moments between him and helmeppo like in the live action where they sit and talk about stuff. koby realises hes gay and sighs. “that explains a lot…”

buggy - gaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy he doesnt like women he cant bring himself to he had his first tragic yaoi relationship as a teen and never looked back. gender is whatever you want it to be baby. freaky as all hell my GOD every time im reminded of the cross guild and what they do to buggy i just know. theyre so freaky

shanks - bisexual icon but hes been hung up on the same ex (buggy) for so many years that other romances are less prioritised cause “omg what if buggy comes back:}” get over it man he aint coming back for u. trans man, look at him and his pussy yeah thats a trans dude hell yeah

Said friend i yapped with is —> @brooks-heart-sunglasses pookie 🤞

[zithergiltscorner]

Why am i allowed to be happy if i'm not perfect?

I HAVE A PRONOUNS PAGE. RIGHT HERE. I'M PROUD OF IT AND AM STILL WORKING ON IT, PLS CHECK IT OUT.

qoute on the top of my blog by @thatcringegirly

this blog swears and sometimes talks politics or mental illness stuff!! If you feel uncomfy, i'm so sorry, i would've liked to get to know you.

Hello dearest niblings!!

Me;

Names: Zith, Zeth, Ziggy, Zelda, ZigZag and/or El, Ellie.

Pronouns and/or gender:

uh.... this used to be very complicated but i think i figured it out

she/her

May have a second personality, who gets text like this;

Wazzup bitches

He goes by he/him and uh... we don't get along

Orientation:

Srs: Panromantic bisexual thanks for asking!

Silly: GAE!! MEN BARK BARK and WOMEN MAKE ME GO BRRR-

So, uhm, yeah.

HASHTAGS

Me casually doing shit

#Ziggy yaps - jus' me speaking. Goes for most my posts. #Ellie Insane - The slightly more... unhinged yaps #Ziggy rbs - me reblogging shit #Ziggy sad - me being depressed #ZigZchool - pretty self-explanatory. Mi school. #Ziggys very wholesome tiddy thoughts are back - Transition stuff

Slightly more gimmick-y shit

#ZigZag musicmood - When the yapping is about the best thing in the universe [ music ] #Ziggy the qoute collector - qoutes i've collected #frankiefitcheck - when a moot of mine posts a fit check, i'll do a list of cool things in the photo. These mostly go for @frankiefridayyy, hence the name.

Interactions with mah mootsies

#pikkpia - Interactions w/ @ladyloss-blog, my canonical mom and comfort person #a wild bea appeared - interactions w/ @honee-bea, prolly won't be many with these, she very busy woman #aussie moot - interactions w/ @chaos-gremlin, my little arsonist #toaster rat cronicles - interactions w/ @the-toaster-rat, my friendly neighborhood cult leader #rae yay - interactions w/ @raeprise, one o' mah first moots #blizzie the wifey - interactions w/ @blizzardtheartisticfox, my canonical wife #Shen the father - interactions w/ @stuck-in-a-forest, my canonical father #A wild bea's malewife - Interactions w/ @t0by-h, my very nice canonical uncle. Also the master of baiting. #skeleton prizon - interactions w/ @thelovelyvie, i see 'em as an aunt now. Mom's mortal enemy. #dearest creechur in creachun - interactions w/ @l3sb14nc4t, my daughter. The name's a reference to the poem, and how all my children are "dearest, dearie, dear". #ze great zage - interactions w/ @sage-way, kitty person #my computer grandma - interactions w/ @digi-tor, very comfy person mhm mhm

Other ppls tags for interacting wit me

#mother posting >:] - @ladyloss-blog's tag for interacting with me #ziggy the silly - @the-toaster-rat's tag for interacting with me #my zigzag child - @stuck-in-a-forest's tag for interacting with me #zig zag - @raeprise's tag for interacting with me #the smol - i believe @thelovelyvie's tag for me #mona momma - @l3sb14nc4t's tag for me

erghm either i can't think of any more or that's all for now

Music gets to have it's own post!!

IRL FRIENDS @li11ied n @thatcringegirly

also this

IT'S CURRENTLY GETTING UPDATED

i have been on aaaa....

adoption spree

onto the sliigghhhtllyyy more trigger worthy things. Uhm, nothing too bad, i promise. Weight, mental health, sh mentions (not pictured)

EVEN THOUGH I MIGHT MAKE CRUDE JOKES, I AM A MINOR.

Even though i am a minor, i do accept compliments. Like rlly. pls send me compliments. It makes my tummy flutter. In the best way. INCLUDING compliments about my looks, i'll warn if yall overstep any boundries i promise.

My stats!

weight: 56.5 kg's / 125 pounds

height: 5'10 / 178 cm

waist measure: 69.5 cm [lol] / 27.3 inches

oh and i sh. Burning. Only occationally, i'm very careful, and i promise you don't have to worry. I don't think i have an actual ed, but i do wish i was slimmer and sometimes skip meals because of it.

~ auntie Ziggy <3

[thedarkreunioninc]

Hello Humanity

We are The Dark Reunion Inc, a company here to bring humanity to its true purpose. As higher beings, we know what is best for your planet. Unfortunately, you guys seem to resist, for you lower life forms cannot comprehend our intent. Much like Roko's Basilisk, now that you know of us, you can either become our slave, and work to help us rule over humanity, or chose not to help, and be subjugated to our torture for the rest of eternity.

Our 5 board members (the highest of our company) are in charge of this blog, and will be responding to you all. (Although sometimes a lackey will respond when we are too busy with our important work)

We hope to speak to you all again soon, as your new leaders.

(PS. If you know where the Black Beat is, please notify us immediately)

OOC: Hi! I saw everyone making Saiki K rp blogs and it looked fun so I decided to join in. She/They pronouns, uhm, that's all I really gotta say.

Most of my posts will be my interpretation of what The Dark Reunion would be if it were real in saiki k so sorry if it isn't what you think ^_^

I didn't know I should've put the tags n stuff here or at the top

#board member 1, #board member 2, #board member 3, #board member 4, and #board member 5- pretty self explanatory, I'll put one to show which board member is talking.

#lackey- when a lackey is talking

#human inquiries- Answering asks

#shadow discussions- when I reblog and talk to the op OR when I'm just yapping

#observations- just rebloging

#the dark reunion- pretty self explanatory, will be left on all posts

Hopefully this isn't too cringe this was fun making.

(Hopefully there isn't a dark reunion rp blog yet)

[crazylittlejester]

Headcanon time! (*crowd cheers as confetti blasters go off*)

Time and Warriors have a very close bond because of the whole War of Eras thing. This means that it's usually Time who comforts Wars when he has a breakdown (also because Wars always tries to be the Older Brother in front of the Chain and therefore doesn't allow himself to be too vulnerable)

HOWEVER sometimes Wars simply can't stand human contact at all because of his past trauma. Twilight stumbles upon this fact fairly early into LU and suddenly Wolfie begins "randomly" showing up whenever Wars needs an emotional support animal to cuddle with.

Wars is very startled to learn Wolfie=Twilight and they have a little talk about it after the Wolfie reveal. But ultimately it only makes their friendship stronger :)

(That fic prompt is on my list haha)

Also, I think it would be really interesting if Twilight was unconscious or something while Wars had a breakdown. Then Legend could grab the crystal and turn into a bunny and comfort Wars while Two is unable to

(Probably also gonna write a fic about that, I have way too many prompts like always)

Anyway this turned into a pretty long ask, sorry abt that. I've been following your blog for a while now and have actually sent a few anon asks before (mostly abt how much I love your works on AO3, they're amazing /gen), but I'm trying to start interacting more with people in the fandom, so this probably won't be the last you hear of me (hope that's okay)

Either way you're super cool and I hope you're doing well! /gen

YES YES YES I SO AGREE. I’m actually working on a scene in a fic right now where Wolfie is the only one who can really get physically close to Wars because he’s ‘not a person’ (like, yes he is a person, he’s Twi, but he’s not person shaped and he’s soft n fluffy and doesn’t feel like a person (in the physical sense), and that’s what matters in the moment alsfjdjgfd). Plus Wolfie cuddles are probably life changing, like a big floofy warm dog that WANTS to cuddle with you because he actually understands your complex emotions and recognizes how you need help? Probably better than therapy /j

I love the idea that bunny Legend would go comfort Wars oh my god! I now have this mental image of Wars just crying and then just being absolutely shocked speechless by bright pink bunny Legend opening his mouth and sayin’ something like “one comment about the color or the vest and i kick you in your face and leave”

DON’T APOLOGIZE I LOVE TO GET YAPS IN MY INBOX I DONT CARE HOW LONG THEY ARE /SRS. i’m tryin to get better about interacting with people too 😔 I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEIN’ YOU IN MY INBOX AGAIN >:)

also i’m glad you like my silly stories alkhgdjgfd :) REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND GET SOME WATER 🫶