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malum-forev · 2 years ago

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If you still have Receiving/ giving a gift available, could you please write about Avenger Bucky receiving a gift from reader, for Christmas or his birthday? But he totally doesn’t expect it and gets all emotional cause he hasn’t received a gift in decades and doesn’t know what to do with the whole thing.

Yes yes yeeesss this is such a great ideaaa <3

“This is stupid.” Bucky grumbled.

“What’s stupid is that you waited until December 24th to buy your Secret Santa a gift!” Sam said, dodging the thousands of people roaming the streets of New York.

“I didn’t think the gift exchange would actually amount to anything.” Bucky groaned. “I thought we would be sent away on a mission!”

“I don’t care what your excuse for procrastination is! I just want you to buy your Secret Santa something.”

“How the hell am I supposed to know what-“

Sam covered his ears. “La, la, la, la. I’m not listening, don’t want any spoilers.”

“I want to be put back in the cryostasis chamber.” Bucky sighed dramatically.

Bucky stretched the neck of the uncomfortable wool sweater someone on the team had forced them to wear. The itchy fabric made his skin red. Whoever started the ugly sweater tradition should be sentenced to life in jail. Bucky thought.

“Will you stop acting like a toddler, we’re supposed to be the adults here.” Sam spoke from the edge of his mouth to not attract any more attention.

“I’m not acting like a child, I’m acting like a senile old man. This is the appropriate way for me to act seeing as I’m over a hundred years old.” Bucky crossed his arms over his chest, immediately regretting the action as he pressed the disgusting fabric against his chest.

“Okay! Bucky’s turn!” Sam yelled, not wanting to bare another second of his friend’s complaining, pushing Bucky to the middle of the circle. All of the agents’ eyes were on him.

Bucky never really celebrated Christmas, back in the 40’s it was common for families to celebrate it but ever since he got out of the ice he- well let’s just say The Winter Soldier didn’t really have time for holiday shopping.

“I got-“ Bucky cleared his throat nervously. “Ryan as my Secret Santa so, here’s a knife.”

The room got eerily silent as they all watched Bucky take out an unpackaged knife from one of his pockets.

Sam facepalmed himself.

“Thanks Sarge.” Ryan awkwardly smiled.

“I sharpened that myself.” Bucky said proudly.

“Let’s move on!” Sam said, this was more painful than he’d ever imagined. “Who got the cyborg as Secret Santa?”

Again, silence met everyone. The agents looked at each other but no one stepped up.

“It’s fine,” Bucky forced a small smile. “I withdrew my name from the bowl. I didn’t need anything.”

Scattered chatter was whispered before they continued with the gifts.

Bucky looked down at his watch an hour later, how much longer would he have to put up with this?

The double doors opened loudly and in you came. You quickly said your hello’s to a couple of your friends and walked straight towards Bucky. With a big smile on your face and a small bag in your hand.

Bucky gulped as you approached him.

“Merry Christmas Sarge.” You beamed, his brain was trying to process your words. Bucky felt like he’d never heard someone call him that, and no one should ever try to top it because it would never compare to how the word Sarge sounded coming out of your lips.

“Me-Merry Christmas.” Bucky stuttered.

“I’m your Secret Santa.” His eyes widened but it seemed like his reaction only made you happier. “I saw you pulling your name out when everyone left so, I decided to pick it up for myself. I hope you like your gift.”

You were truly the human form of sunshine. He thought.

“C’mon, open it. I need to know if you liked it.” You pushed the bag closer to him.

Bucky took it by the handles and peeked inside. It was a book.

He saw how you nervously fidgeted.

“When I got recruited, I researched about you- well both of you, Sam and yourself. God this is embarrassing.” You fumbled with your words. “Anyways, I read that your favorite book was The Hobbit so, I tracked down a first edition copy since well, it’s been edited since it came out and I thought it would be nice for you to have something from back when you first were alive- not alive because well- Oh god, it was stupid right? Giving you a book? You probably don’t even have time to read-“

Bucky cut you off by wrapping his strong arms against your frame.

“This is the most amazing gift I’ve ever received.” He mumbled against your hair. “Thank you.”

“Welcome.” You squeaked.

“This is incredible.” Bucky whispered, not knowing if he could get any other words out without his voice cracking. No one had ever done something as special as this for him.

“You made Barnes smile!” Sam laughed, patting Bucky on the back. “You should get a medal for things like that.”

This one's short and sweet! Hope you like it!

Hi hiiii This is part of my 1k Celebration, if you like this please be sure to look at the Bingo Card and ask for a prompt! Love y'all <;33

And you can find the Bingo master list and what prompts are still available here!

*Any gifs posted are not my own and I give the artist full credit.

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olderthannetfic · 4 months ago

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I accidentally killed my own desire to write, and I need some advice. To be really blunt about it, what's the point of writing? When I would spend lots of time laboring over making a good story with a plot and characters who were in-character and connecting all the dots narratively so payoffs were satisfying, my reward was dead silence and virtually no clicks. I posted some mindless smut to my side account one day and got more hits in a day than most of my other works combined got in a year. I know, I know. "Write for ~*~yourself~*~" is the common response. It's the "be yourself!" of writing. It's supposed to be a magical phrase that'll make everything okay. But... I don't like knowing that something I spend months working on won't be read by anyone while something I write in a car while bored got thousands of clicks. I don't like making something I'm proud of and then no one ever looks at it. That's not fun for me. It's not fulfilling.

For a solid decade, I've tried to ignore how the level of interactivity in fandom is falling. Fewer comments. Fewer kudos. No comments in the bookmarks. You put your tumblr and Discord in the AN and get a handful of asks and one person who adds you, talks to you twice and then ghosts you. Most of the comments are "well, actuallys", made even more annoying by them being wrong as opposed to actually correcting an error. I avoid fandom drama, wank, and infighting. I don't engage with things I know will make me unhappy. I try to be happy over in my own little corner. I comment on every single work I read. I want people to enjoy fandom. I used to.

Some dumb smut I wrote in 40 minutes gets five times the hits of the writing I'm most proud of, and it gets it in just under three months. I am not a great smut writer. I haven't stumbled onto an incredible talent I had that makes it so the issue is that I'm so amazing my smut brings all the boys to the yard. People just don't like what I write and put effort into. It's very likely that despite 20 years of writing fic, I suck at writing. And people enjoy my writing most when they don't have to put up with anything substantial and can just skip to the sex.

So for the last eight months, when I write, I just sort of give up. Close the Word doc without saving. No one will read this. No one cares about this. There is no fan eagerly awaiting every update like I await updates from my favorite authors. There's not even someone saying, "update soon!" Close the Word doc. Delete old WIPs. There's no point. I do not tell stories worth reading. I used to. In the FFN days people genuinely enjoyed my work. I'd never have had an opportunity to do the 'I won't update until I get 3 reviews' thing because getting that many on a chapter was usually something I'd do overnight. Post before bed. Wake up. Read the reviews before school. I peaked in high school, I guess.

And now I'm just sort of lost. I still have lots of ideas. Ideas for fics fall into my head all the time. That's never been a problem. What I don't have is any motivation to write them. What's the point of writing? If no one else is reading, I guess the point would be so I could go back and read my own story and have fun with it. Write for myself. But I can review the story and have fun with it in my head without writing it down. It's substantially faster and more importantly, isn't incredibly depressing.

So, at the risk of definitely being calld the second-coming of True Art Anon or a troll or validation-seeking or haha mentally ill haha... what's the point of writing?

Okay, so write porn in a car while you're bored.

Look, you can whine all you want about my response, but what you've written here is blatantly about depression.

Lots of people in fandom are still interacting. And no, it isn't just on fics that are objectively written to some pro fiction standard or whatever. Teenagers still breathlessly review poorly spelled cracky masterpieces about this year's big anime and so forth.

Yes, there may be reasons why you in particular are in a slump when it comes to fandom friendships or "plz update" comments. We can talk about that. But this ask is all gloom about fandom in general. That's not realism: that's you having a problem.

As for why a person should write: because the actual hours you spend doing the writing are fun.

If they aren't pleasurable in some way, find another hobby.

But if you want an answer to the age old "Why did my 5 minute fic get 1000000x more asspats", I've seen meta about this for literally decades.

The most likely reason is that the fic we write quickly and without much thought often feels fresher and more fun. The things we labor over endlessly can feel overworked. Even in cases where they don't, they're often heavier subject matter or more niche subject matter. On top of all that, we just care more, so even a high level of feedback doesn't really feel like enough for the effort and care we put in.

Do you really need me to tell you why you don't feel the same as in high school when things were fresh and new?

Go read up on combatting burnout or dealing with post-college anxiety or managing stress in a dead-end job in your 30s or finding meaning in your 40s or whatever is going on.

Everyone goes through fallow periods in fandom and in life.

Feeling reinvigorated has to do with internal factors and some general life circumstance stuff. It doesn't have that much to do with number of kudos. That's just the surface trigger for a mood that was already there.

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seeminglydark · 4 months ago

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does caro ever miss or mourn the person they could have been if they been happy with who they were as carrie? i'm an older trans person and have been post op and passing for over a decade now, but every now and then i can't help but feel sad for the version of myself i would have been if i'd been cis. i don't see a lot of stories with gnc characters touch on these feelings even though i think they're a normal part of the trans experience

WOAGH ok. I'm not going to clean up this sketch cuz i think its better you get the sloppy 'couldnt see through my tears replying to this ask' version. In many ways, yes. Its hard to put into words because its not a regret, but its a grief of who they tried to be for so long. It doesn't take away from the joy they have being the person they are now, but for them its like losing a loved one too young, if that makes sense.

i think many people have 'what ifs' and sadness for our baby selves. I write Caro loving Carrie very much, which is a super personal choice for me. I also show Carries story because I feel its really important to understand Caros. And because its really important to mine. I mourn baby me all the time, I was so incredibly lost. And I mourn the man I never became. He lives in John, because in many ways he still exists in me, even if my life took me in a different direction from him. I still love him. Hes still part of me even if my path didn't include him once i learned more about myself. But I'm also incredibly joyful and happy to be the person I am now, and I think teenage girl me, and phantom FtM me would be really proud of 40-something nonbinary living-my life-the-best-way-i-can me.

I think if Caro could meet Carrie in some kinda way, they'd say they were so sorry they couldn't be her, and that they really tried but they just didnt know how. But I think Carrie would tell them she's really happy she gets to be them, and how proud she is of how far theyve come together.

#ask box #sorry i got way too personal on main here but yea #trans journey #its different for everyone of course #Caro speaks for me and we all have dif experiences #i yearn to hug baby me and tell her its gonna end up ok #that its gonna be a weird and winding road but we're gonna make it ok and thank you so much for living so that i could live too #i love you i love you i love you

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dabislittlemouse · 1 year ago

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Hello! I just discovered your page and I love your writing style.

I had this idea in my head for while now.

You know how Dabi went and visit Hawks’ mom for information about him? Well, what if he had a lovable little sister who was clueless about who Dabi is. She thought “oh, he is friends with my big brother there is no harm talking with him.”

Dabi flirts with her a good bit and Hawks comes home like “get away from my cute little sister!” But he does it around about way.

tainted angel 🪽 (pt.1)

PART 2 // PART 3// THE COMPLETE MASTERLIST divider by @cafekitsune

ෆ Pairing: DABI X HAWKS’ LITTLE SISTER

ෆ cw: Dabi being a flirt and a pervert, corruption kink, smut and dubcon in the next chapters so this one is mostly safe.

ෆ Before you read further: this is written entirely on Dabi’s POV. There are specific descriptions for Hawks’ sister such as hair color, eye color, skin, wings etc. and she is a female, age 20-21.

ෆ A/N: I love this request so much, it had my writing flowing so naturally and my motivation reached the sky. I hope you like this!

Another boring day of relentlessly hunting down for information. Walking in the empty alleyway, the weather’s getting bitter, clouds darkening the sky as rain is starting to fall, plinking against my black leather jacket. Man, I fucking hate rain. Feels uncomfortable on my skin, not to mention it weakens my quirk. But I have to finish this job. Once I start something today, I never leave it for tomorrow, cause we never know what tomorrow could bring. Unexpected things are not my forte, I prefer to plan my steps way ahead, I look closely at every clue and untangle any information that I see beneficial. Always one step ahead of my enemies, nothing goes away without catching my eye. No matter how small it is.

No matter how fast it is.

Yes, Hawks, the fastest hero out there, too fast for his own good. I chuckle under my breath, rolling my eyes at the thought of the traitorous pro hero. He’s been pretty useful so far, proven himself loyal to the cause. But something doesn’t sit right with me, hence the reason why I’m out there searchin’ for more information. Maybe it’s his sickening hero charm, makes me wanna vomit. Maybe it’s the fake smile he puts on that stupid face, who knows.. a traitor will always be a traitor. If he went as far as to betray the heroes, I won’t be surprised if he turns his back on us villains again.

Though if that happens, he will be incinerated before he even knows it. Burnt to ashes, those red feathers set ablaze by my own scorching flames. My hand itches at the thought of showing him his place, though I gotta stick with the plan and use him for all his worth.

Bzzz.

The sound of my burner phone grabs my attention. Probably one of my men who I’ve sent to stalk and watch over Hawks. Or maybe Twice, wanting to fuck around because he is lonely. Tch, I’m not in the mood either way.

“This better be important..” I rasp under my breath. Lately my patience’s been thin. Don’t know why.

“Sir, we have found something”

It was indeed one of the men I hired. Yeah, about time they finally made themselves useful. I hum in response, letting the man continue.

“The woman we found, she might be related to Hawks. According to the clues we’ve been gathering, it’s highly possible she could be his mother. If not his mother, then for sure someone from his family. We have found her address, all we need is your order so we can break in and get her for you, sir” the man explained.

“Mm there’s no need. I’ll pay the lady a visit myself” I smirk, knowing that she will be more intimidated by my grotesque sight only and start spilling everything. After the men give me her address, I waste no time to go there. Fortunately not too far from where I am right now.

Something weird forms in my chest. Not sure why, but I feel like I’m gonna have fun~

******

The picture I got sent was of a woman who seemed to be in her 40s, pale skin and exhausted eyes, big fluffy light brown hair, almost drained out of life. This is beyond weird, the mother of a pro hero who looked like she had lost her will to live? Ain’t no way. Supposedly the families of pro heroes usually live their best life.

A thought runs through my head and I chuckle. Damn, I should know by now, the families of pro heroes are those who in fact suffer the most.

Memorising the woman’s face and the address, I am now right in front of her house. It’s a small normal house, nothing fancy or special about it whatsoever. The rain has long stopped. I stop in front of her door, before giving it a few slow knocks. Nobody opens the door. I knock once again, if this door isn’t opened soon I’m gonna have to-

“Coming!! Just a second!!” A chirpy voice was heard, footsteps getting faster towards the door. This voice sounded lively, not the voice I could’ve imagined for the woman I’m looking for.

As the door opened, the sight in front of me leaves me speechless. My eyes widen a bit, taking in at person in front of me.

It’s a girl. Not the old woman in picture, this is a young pretty thing. Could be at her twenties, not sure. As she opens the door wider, she fixes her disheveled hair, removing those golden locks off her face while her caramel eyes fixed on mine, blinking in confusion with those pretty lashes. And her pjs, almost too revealing. Freckles cover her cheeks, her skin looks soft. It doesn’t take long for me to notice a pair of angelic white wings behind her.

“Umm hello, how can I help you with?” she asks, her voice meek and shy as she looks up at me under her lashes.

Fuck, it’s like the whole world stopped the moment I laid eyes her pretty face. I need to focus.

“Sorry for the bother, dollface” I manage to bring a friendly smile on my face but my raspy voice always betrays me. “I am looking for Hawks. I’m a friend of his..”

“Oh, Hawks? I’m sorry but my brother is not here at the moment. Maybe he is at his agency, did you check there?” she smiles back.

Before I find myself wondering why she is not scared by my appearance, my mind focuses on that one simple word: brother. She called Hawks her brother, so that means..

“Wait, don’t tell me that guy kept such a pretty thing like you hidden from me? You’re his sister?” I smirk, leaning on the doorstep, still stunned by the fact that the pro hero had a little sister.

“O-Oh yeah, I’m Takami Y/N!” she blushes, and my smirk grows wider knowing that such simple interaction already got me half of the information. That Hawks has a sister, and his last name is Takami.

“He doesn’t prefer to talk much about us in public” she continues. “It’s best for our safety”

Poor naive little thing. Got no clue in the world who I am, thinking I’m a friend. Is this how the hero looks over his family?

“Well well, that guy is full of surprises. You look a lot like him to be honest, that pretty hair of yours and those wings. A real angel aren’t cha?”

Her face is a blushing mess, all she can do is squirm in front of me and smile awkwardly. I came here for other purposes but damn it.. this pretty angel got me fucking hooked already. So petite, so innocent, a ray of sunshine, if I touch her with my destructive bloody hands I could probably defile her.

This thought gives me a sick twisted feeling in my chest, my eyes flaring in excitement.

“I-If you’d like I can invite you over for some tea? I can call my brother to come in the meantime. It’s only me and my mom here” she shyly says, breaking eye contact. I may be delusional, I am not the most handsome motherfucker out there I know, but she is acting like she saw her school crush. But I have to admit, I do have a sort of charm too. Call it villain charm if you will.

“Sure thing”. Making it easier for me princess, but also harder to focus on my main goal when you’re such beautiful distraction.

As my eyes wander around the living room, she hurries to the kitchen to prepare the tea. Enough time for me to find the lady in question. Her room was not hard to find, she was sitting on her bed. Simply entering and closing the door, I reach to her fast, putting a hand on her mouth.

“Don’t make a single sound or I will burn your sweet daughter to ashes” I threaten, showing her the blue flames flickering on my fingers. She nods, sweating and eyes widened in panic.

“Now..” I let her go while she stands there frozen in fear. “I’ll ask you some questions regarding to your son… and you’ll answer honestly. And trust me, I can tell when someone’s lying, so do not test me woman” I say sternly, all she does is whimper.

****

“Hey I thought you left?”

I find the pretty angel sitting on the couch, a confused look on her face.

“Ah m’sorry doll, had to use the bathroom. Also had a little chat with your mother, been a long time since I last saw her..”

It takes a lot for me to not burst into laughter, acting as if I’ve been Keigo’s childhood friend or something.

Keigo. Keigo Takami. This was his full name according to that woman. She didn’t hesitate to give me all the essential information, afraid I’d burn this place down and harm her precious daughter. Apparently that birdbrain’s been taken from the HSPC since a kid, trained to be a professional hero. And most importantly, his dad was a criminal, murdered someone back then.

Tch, the son of a criminal becoming a hero.

And the son of a hero becoming a criminal.

What a world.

I sit down on the couch, almost too close to his sister. My eyes hungrily take on the sight of her soft plush thighs, her chest, her plump lips.

“Tell me more about yourself dollface” I say, totally ignoring the tea and playing with some of her hair. “Y’gonna be a hero like your brother?”

“Ah none of the sort. I’d rather not get myself into heroic stuff” she giggles, and that sound has my jeans tighten uncomfortably. It’s taking everything in me to not pounce on her right here right now, stripping her off everything and making her scream for me. Just imagine the sight her brother would come across to if he suddenly shows up, her little sister all naked and bruised, used for my own sick pleasure..

Such an angelic being, I have the need to fucking break her and shape her however I see fit. A man like me could never be deserving of her.

“You don’t want to be a hero? How come? Wouldn’t you like to save people, princess? To fight against big scary villains who threaten the innocent out there..”

“I don’t think that’s a job for me. I can still help people without being a hero. And I don’t think I’d be strong or brave enough to go against villains, you know?” she says, playing with the hem of her shirt.

“Awn, poor thing, y’scared from villains?” I grin, placing my scarred hand on her knee, feeling her smooth skin. She squirms, probably by the warmth of it. The way she bites her lower lip nervously has my cock throbbing in my pants. Little does she know she’s in the presence of one of the most dangerous villains in Japan.

“Y’think they gonna hurt you? Maybe they will, if they see you so cute and vulnerable out there, they won’t hesitate to hunt ya down”. My firm grip on her knee has her swallowing, nodding silently.

“So I hope your brother protects you enough” I chuckle. “Cause see, if I was a villain? Man, I’d do anything to kidnap you and make you mine”

Her eyes widen, she laughs nervously, thinking this was some joke. Far from it.

“But you’re no villain right? You’re just my brother’s friend?” she murmurs, feeling tense. Her body language is so easy to read.

“Yes baby, I’m only his friend. My appearance might creep ya out but I promise I’m safe”

She seems to calm down a little. Completely unaware of what I could be capable of.

“Your appearance is not creepy by the way” she says. “I’d say it’s more.. unique. In a good way. I’ve never seen someone who looks like you”

I raise my eyebrows. Her words have me taken aback. For the longest time all I’ve gotten were stares filled with fear or disgust, couldn’t blame them. But this was a new thing, I feel something strange in my chest at her comment. Fuck, I don’t like this. I can’t seem to find any good comeback now, not when she’s staring at me so longingly. I’d rather have her scared, calling me an ugly monster, rather than this.

“Cute little thing wants to get on my good side huh? Wanna charm me, get me hooked with those sweet words? Y’need to be careful~” I say teasingly, reaching to grab her chin and have her look at me. I stare at her caramel eyes, wondering how they’d look full of tears.

“N-No it’s just the truth, I’m not lying” she shakes her head. “If I found you scary I wouldn’t have let you come inside”

“Come inside?” I raise an eyebrow. “Y’need to be more specific..or this might get another meaning”

She looks confused, not getting it at first, but the moment she sees the perverse smile on my face, her cheeks flush in embarrassment.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that pervert! I meant come inside my house!”

I let out a laugh, probably the only genuine laugh I had after such a long time. God, she’s so cute and fun to mess with. Such gem that Hawks kept hidden from me. Well, not anymore.

After some time chatting with my angel, the door bursts open. I turn around, smirking at the familiar face.

“Look who decided to show up!” I stand up, opening my arms as if waiting to receive a hug from him. “The winged hero. I was looking for you. I had the pleasure of meeting your family, y’never told me you had a little sister? Such pretty thing you never mentioned her to anyone, I thought we were close friends Keigo..”

The expression on his face is entertaining, he looks beyond shocked. Probably didn’t expect for me to call him by his real name. Or when his sister comes after me, too close, a bright charming smile on her face.

“Welcome home! I invited Dabi inside to wait for you, couldn’t let him out in the pouring rain-”

“Y/N get back in your room. Now” The hero’s voice is stern, serious, and the poor girl’s smile fades off her face. His piercing gaze never leaving mine. I’m not intimidated at the slightest, it’s mostly amusing.

“But Kei-”

“Now” he repeats. As she prepares to turn around and leave, I reach to grab her hand, not letting her go.

“Very overprotective aren’t cha, big brother?” I smirk, bringing his sister closer to me, wrapping my hands around her waist. Hawks looks like he is ready to kill me, anger visible in his golden eyes now that I’m playing around with his little sister, probably his weakest spot that he tried to keep hidden from the world.

“Me and her already clicked. She’s very fun to have around, we chatted a lot when you weren’t here didn’t we angel?” I turn to her, all she does is blush and nod shyly. I tap my fingers around her small waist, making her squirm. It takes everything in me to not dig my fingers on that soft skin and leave bruises. Then I reach for her white wings, and apparently she is very sensitive there. The way those wings flutter and she tries to break free from my grip, whining for me to stop. And all of this in front of her brother.

“Very nice of you to treat my friend this way” Hawks says, seems like he already caught up what’s going on. He’s playing it cool, so I won’t hurt his family. “Dabi, could you come outside now? We have stuff to discuss.”

I do not protest further, there’ll be enough time to stay with my angel now that I already know where she lives and where she studies. My new little toy.

“See ya later, dollface” I pinch her cheek, before sliding my hand across her jawline. My thumb touching her lower lip slightly, and the softest gasp leaves her pretty mouth.

“Bye Dabi..” she whispers, almost hypnotised by my touch. My name rolling off her tongue is the sweetest melody my ears could ever hear.

Can’t wait to come back for you, sweetheart

Tags: @mostlyheinous @dabislittlebeaniebaby @shadowsandshapes @dabihawksluva @mossy-opal @daniidil @holydayaria @syrenkitsune @arinexeisnotworking @cherrykisssess @doumadono @spltbtch @sukunas-bitxh @awalkingshame @bubblegumsblog @highbats69

#B.writes #dabi #touya todoroki #mha dabi #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #x reader #dabi x you #dabi x reader #dabi x fem reader #dabi smut #mha x reader #bnha x reader #dabi fanfic #hawks #keigo takami #hawks bnha #mha hawks

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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AITA for bitching about fics I dislike on my blog?

as a foreword, this is kind of a non-issue and no one's ever told me to stop, but I'm curious what other people think of fandom etiquette.

the fandom: a fairly small one. 2.4k fics on ao3 small. I recognize most people posting in its tumblr tag small. if I tell you the name of the source you'd almost definitely be able to find me small.

the source: pornographic, which means everyone involved is or should be an adult. it's BL with a switch MC, but the fandom overwhelmingly prefers bottom MC/top LIs (love interests), to the point where I've had people be astonishingly rude to me because my favorite character is a bottom LI and some of my friends have been outright harassed for the same. I used to not care about sex positions in the slightest, but now when I see bottom MC fanworks I can't help but remember how poorly I was treated.

the fics: wildly and inexplicably popular, even though they are, frankly, poorly written. it's eternal bottom MC turned up to 11, complete with copious amounts of OOCness in order to turn every ship into the worst ye olde yaoi gender roles dynamic you can imagine. it's things like MC, canonically a 23yo plank of a dudeguy, being written as a big titted milf in his 40s (which is made more confusing by the fact that one of the LIs is already a big titted milf). it's also things like the MC being written as disliking sex and having to be coerced into it when one of the most charming things about him is that he's a hilarious sex pest, or writing the LIs sexually harassing the MC when they really would never do that. I've likened it to replacing the characters with OCs that share the same name and my friends have agreed with me. I'm honestly convinced that the author and his readers don't actually like any of the characters if they feel the need to change everyone so thoroughly.

why I might be an asshole: it's assholish to hate on free fanworks, and I've bitched about these fics on my public tumblr blog. the fandom is small enough that there's a non-zero chance of it getting back to the author and a reasonable chance that fans of the fics have seen my bitching. I'm probably projecting the hostility I've received onto someone who's done absolutely nothing to me, and I am absolutely just straight up jealous that their fics get better stats than mine. I may also be being an asshole to myself, because being critical of other people's fics has made my hypercritical of my own.

why I don't think I'm an asshole: I think everyone has the right to be bad at things, but I also think everyone has the right to be a little hater. I don't put the fandom tag on these posts; they stay on my blog and my blog alone, and if later on I feel like I was unfairly vitriolic I'll delete the posts. I only post on tumblr because I'm certain the author in question only uses twitter, which dramatically lowers the odds of him stumbling across my posts. the fics are so popular that it's definitely possible that their fans would see my posts, but I think it's unlikely that they'd bother looking at my blog because 99% of my posts are about one of the bottom LIs. I have never and would never leave comments on the fics themselves, and I generally try to keep the bitchy posts to a minimum; it's far from a constant thing.

tl;dr - I publicly bitch about fics that (in my opinion) are poorly written and extremely OOC, under the assumption that it's unlikely the author would ever see it. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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zsrntyouil · 5 months ago

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Please tell me I'm not the only one who kins literally every "main" marauders era characters like:

Remus? Absolutely, I hate my body and always feel like I'm a monster and I LOVE reading and I drink tea several times a day (plus im autistic)

Sirius? I totally hide my trauma behind jokes and am very oblivious when people like me because I hate myself

Peter? I am indeed always the last one picked and my relationships are always like "they're my best friend but am I theirs?"

James? I ALWAYS try to be happy in front of people and will shut up if I suffer to not disturb people around me

Lily? YES. I have one older sister who doesn't really care about me and I find it relaxing to study

Mary? I'm just a girl 🎀 (no fr I haven't seen much abt her but I relate to her a lot)

Marlene? I feel like she's one of the only I dont really kin.

Dorcas? Same as Marlene, a bit to perfect for me to relate to her

Pandora? She is literally me. Like, the kinda fairy, crystals and moths vibe is so me. And pretty much all of the supernatural thing in general. But we both still have a thing for saying things that would normally need a trigger warning (mostly abt death). And the weirdo thing too (I mean we're both autistic so...).

Evan? Not really. I couldn't do all the dissecting animals thing cos because of ~autism~ my empathy for animals is 900% when it should be 65-75% (like I can't even kill mosquitos) but like it's around 40-50% for humans when it should be 90-100%

Barty? I, me too, can't have a normal human relationship with anyone and I'm brutally honest. And I wasn't wanted by my dad.

Regulus? He. Is. Me. Like there's already everything ive already said abt Remus and all. And my sister left me to go study in an other country when I was 12 and our relationship was already slowly getting worse. And I want to kill myself 24/7 and make a lot of self- depreciation jokes. And like I've finished a 800 pages book in 5 days last week because I liked it too much so I didn't sleep. And I write and read sad french poetry.(Plus obviously ~autism~)

And like all of them, I'm pretty much queer

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livingdreams97 · 1 year ago

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Eloise Bridgerton - "The Prince" (Part 1)

Eloise Bridgerton x Male reader/oc

Summary: Two people who have never seen each other before, with the same need and desire to be free in different ways. What could come of that when both people meet each other?

Words: 3.983

Masterlist

POV Narrator

In a castle located three hours from the center of London, two men are in a meeting and in a somewhat heated discussion. One of the men is in his late 40s, while the other much younger looking man is in his 23s.

XY: You will go to the palace with your aunt and you will participate in this year's social season.- declares the older of both.

XY2: You can't do this to me father.- denies the youngest . -You can't force me to look for a wife.- the son denies.

XY: I'm not forcing you to look for a wife, just to participate in the social season and look for someone to love.- he claims to his son. -You are twenty-three years old and at your age, I was already married to your mother and already had your brother.- he reproached him, causing the young man to cross his arms.

Y/n: But I don't want to get married, I want to travel and see the world.- he comments getting up from the chair. -I want to get to know different cultures, learn languages and see places that most people can only dream of.- he says walking through the office.

XY: And you will.- he assures her calmly. -But once you find someone, you fall in love and get married.- he dictates, continuing with his writing.

Y/n: And who assures me of that, father.- he says passing his hand through his almond-blonde hair. -We both know that as soon as I get married, I'll have to take care of my wife and start producing heirs. When will I travel ? - he asks the older man.

XY: I assure you that you will travel.- he says looking back at his only living heir. -What do you think if we make a deal?- he offers leaving the pen in its container

Y/n: What deal?- he asks interested, sitting back in the dark blue suede chair in front of his father's desk.

XY: If you manage to fall in love and get married this season, you will be able to travel around the world for 6 months and I myself will pay for your travel expenses. In addition to that, I promise to give you a house, wherever you want as a wedding gift to you and your wife; without the need for you to generate heirs immediately.- the father offers and this captures the attention and interest of the child.

Y/n: But ... - He begins by meeting his father.

XY: You will have to be really in love, you will show me your love for her and your aunt has to give you the go-ahead.- he finishes speaking. -What do you say, do w have a deal? - he questions his son.

Y/n: Okay.- the youngest nods with a sigh, allowing the light curls on his head to bounce subtly and his father to notice it.

XY: So tomorrow morning you will go to the palace, where you will stay with your uncles and before leaving you will receive a haircut.- He points out his son's slightly long hair.

Y/n: Yes father.- accept tired. - Can I retire to my room now? - he asks and the father nods.

XY: Make sure you have all the clothes ready first thing in the morning.- he reminds him as the young man leaves the office.

And that's what happens the next day. After a haircut and loading the suitcases into the family's navy blue carriage. Father and son say goodbye with a hug, before the youngest gets on the carriage and it sets off towards the palace.

Dear readers,

Have you missed me? Because here I am once again, ready to talk and comment on the events of this new season.

While our respected high society was enjoying their country retreat once more, this author did only one thing: polish my art. Or should I say hatching my plans? No, even better. I was sharpening my knives even more and collecting information.

Apparently, a few hours after the debuts of this season, two luxurious-looking carriages have arrived at the palace and they were loaded with abundant luggage.

Could it be that the queen will host a debutant or debutante of the royal family this season, as she did with her nephew Prince Friedrich of Prussia?

On the other hand, Queen Charlotte has once again done something unexpected and has renamed Edwina Sharma as the diamond this season. It will be that she is not happy with the failure of last season with her diamond, that she is trying to remedy the situation and regain her credibility when choosing the diamond of the season.

We also have the Bridgertons to congratulate, as the Viscount and Viscountess have just welcomed their first heir with open arms. And they will not only celebrate the birth of the little girl, but also the debut of two Bridgertons more. Will the matriarch of the family be capable of directing and helping three children at the same time in search of a partner?

It only remains to wait and see everything that this season has in store for us. What mysteries and secrets our high society hides that they do not want to be known.

Always yours,

Lady Whistledown.

POV YOU

I listen to what my aunt reads aloud as we eat dinner, watching disgust and anger fill every feature of her face. I look at my cousin Friedrich , who continues having dinner and not giving importance to what is being read .

Charlotte: How dare that woman question my ability to select, I am the one who created the idea of the diamond and I have not failed even once, until last season. - she grumbles, leaving the newspaper with force on the table.

Y/n: Aunt, don't give importance to that gossip newspaper, they are not important and you are one of the most capable and intelligent women I know.- I assure her with a slight smile.

Charlotte: You will see my dear nephew Y/n, I appreciate your sincere and encouraging words.- she tells me with a small smile. -But if the people believe what this woman writes, my past successes don't matter, much less if it only reflects my only failure.- she explains and I frown at her annoyance.

Friederich: You are the queen, ignore it and the rest of the town will too.- he comments without much interest.

Charlotte: What I will do is use your presence, to relax the atmosphere and make sure that everything goes well.- she comments with confidence.

Friederich: And what do you plan to do with our presence?- questions with confusion, although I already understand it and I'm not entirely sure if I'm going to like the idea.

Charlotte: You are both here with the intention of finding a woman, therefore I can ensure that one of both of you ends up with my diamond and thus recover the full respect of the town.- she answers and I bite my lip.

Y/n: Aunt, you know that I respect you and that I never disagree with you.- I start a little unsure. -But I'm sure you know my father's opinion regarding marriage and that you only have to marry for love.- I remind her and see how she tries not to smile.

Charlotte: I know my dear Y/n.- she assures me with a certain tenderness in her eyes when she looks at me. -That is why I have decided that Friederich is the one who is interested in my diamond, maybe even something real will come out of this.- she says and I nod in gratitude.

It's not that I really want to marry for love, a few years ago I would be happy to find someone to fall in love with and marry.

But seven years ago my opinion changed and I have not wanted to fall in love and get married since then. When I was 13 years old, my brother had an accident riding a horse in a race and died. My mother went into anger and depression over the loss of her first child.

Two months after the loss of my brother, my mother could not continue and died of sadness. So only my father and I stayed.

I saw my father mourn the loss of my brother, trying to cheer up my mother in her depression and soon after also mourning the loss of my mother. I saw him suffer every day since my brother's death and for another year after my mother's death.

I saw how sad and broken he was when he lost the love of his life. The house was no longer the same, without my brother's laughter or absurd comments, everything felt silent. In addition to the fact that the warmth and happiness that my mother radiated had been replaced by the coldness of her lack.

That's why I stopped wanting to find someone to fall in love with and marry. Because I had seen what the loss of my mother did to my father and how it felt to lose two of the most important people in my life.

So at fourteen I decide to renege on marriage, preferring to remain single and not get close to another person in a sentimental way. But now there's my father's offer, and it's an offer I can't refuse.

I have always wanted to travel and see the world. But my father has never left me, saying that it was irresponsible to go on a trip and leave my chores behind. Although now that my father offers me 6 months of travel around the world, expenses paid and a house to be independent; I can't refuse the offer.

Especially when as soon as he could, my father sent me to university in Manchester and having finished my degree in natural sciences and its use in medicine, along with some medical courses; he wanted to enjoy traveling to find and study new plants as well.

But just because I accepted the offer doesn't mean I'm going to marry for love. But I will try to find a woman, who really does not want to get married; but do not want to stay single and be separated by society.

Friederich: If you think it's the best option, I agree to help her and meet the diamond of the season.- he accepts, causing her to let out a sigh.

Charlotte: Well, I hope you dress as well as possible, because in a few hours the guests will arrive and it's the first initiation dance.- she warns us seriously. -In this first dance I am the hostess and it will be your presentation.- she says and we both nod in agreement.

Friederich: I'll put on my best suit.- he nods puffing out his chest.

Charlotte: One last thing, Y/n Lady Danbury will take care of your introduction into society and will help you in the dances.- she tells me and I nod. -She has more experience and can better help you find a woman.- she explains with a loving smile.

Y/n: Thank you for thinking about my needs aunt.- I thank you with a smile.

Charlotte: I always will Y/n, besides that Lady Danbury is hosting another season at the Sharma and so it will be easier for Friederich and Edwina to get to know each other.- she explains to both of us.

Shortly after, we finish dinner and everyone heads to their rooms. I decide to wear black pants, with a morning suit of the same color with gold buttons and shiny black shoes.

I decide to wear a white shirt, with a navy morning suit and a white Byron tie. I look at myself in the mirror in my bedroom, making sure everything is in place and my hair is neat. ( He has the same hair as Theo , but with a little more curl.)

I grab the white gloves and leave the room after taking a deep breath. I descend the stairs, putting on my gloves and listening to the music from the ballroom in the background.

XY: Sir, Your Majesty requires your presence.- He warns me and I nod with a smile.

I follow the servant, entering the ballroom and immediately feeling the curious eyes of those present on me . I keep my gaze fixed, never taking it away from my aunt and the woman with the cane at her side.

Charlotte: Dear, how good that you have arrived.- she greets me with a smile. -You remember Lady Danbury right? - she asks pointing her head at the woman next to her.

Y/n: Of course I remember her aunt.- I nod with a smile. -It's a pleasure to see you again Lady Danbury.- I greeted taking her hand and leaving a polite kiss on the back of the hand. - You are as beautiful as six years ago.- I compliment her with education .

Lady Danbury was very close to my mother, so from time to time she always traveled to our house and paid us little visits. But after my mother died, her visits became shorter and less frequent.

Until after an argument with my father, because of how he was mourning and his way of focusing on work without showing me affection or support, it happened.

After that discussion, my father asked him to stop coming and that if he wanted to keep in touch with me he could only do so by letters; and so it has been for the past six years.

Danbury: As flattering as always prince Y/n.- smiles making me a bow. -It will be a pleasure to be your supervisor this season.- she assures me with a smile.

Y/n: The pleasure will be mine Lady Danbury.- I assure her politely. -It is said that her role in the Duke's marriage was crucial.- I comment and she smiles holding on to my arm.

Danbury: It was and now I'll get you a wife.- she tells me with certainty. -If you'll excuse us, Your Majesty, I have to expose this boy and introduce him to several possible debutantes.- she says goodbye to the queen and pulls my arm.

We start to walk around the room, while she talks to me about each newcomer we pass by and giving me her opinion about them.

From one moment to the next, she lets out a small exclamation of emotion and pulls our joined arms with a little more force.

Eloise's POV

I can't believe my mom dragged me into this for another year and even less after what happened last season. I very much doubt that any man wants to marry the woman who goes to the market alone and joins companies with radical political ideas.

After what Lady Whistledown wrote about me, or rather; what Penelope wrote, everyone looks at me badly and the scandal did not bring my family much good fortune.

But as much as I have refused, my mother has forced me to participate again for another year and this time telling me that I have to really try. She will even force me to have two complete dances, complete dances with someone other than my brothers or she will take away my books and all my liberties.

I haven't even managed to convince her, saying that she can't supervise Francesca, Colin and me at the same time; and that I would take work away from her by not showing up this season.

But nothing, she has not accepted and has put aside every reasoning I have given her for not making my debut.

And that brings us to this moment. To the first ball in the palace, where as soon as we have entered the door the eyes of almost all the guests are on us and the looks on me are not entirely positive.

Violet: Look there is Lady Danbury.- my mother comments with emotion, but I only look around and I meet the gaze of my old best friend.

I keep looking at her with all the resentment in the world, remembering all the damage she has done to my family and especially to me. I still can't believe that she is Lady Whistledown and was able to write that way about me: her best friend since childhood.

I pay attention to my mother again, when I feel how she pinches my arm and I complain, caressing the area.

Violet: And this is my other daughter Eloise Bridgerton .- introduces me and I look away from my now enemy, finding Lady Danbury with a boy by her side.

XY: A pleasure to meet you all, Lady Danbury often talks about you Lady Bridgerton and always in very high esteem.- He greets her by kissing the back of her hand, as with my sister and approaching to do the same with me.

Violet: I hope so.- she jokes with him.

I just watch as the unknown man gently takes my hand and brings it to his lips while staring into my eyes. After kissing my hand, he gives me a smile and politely lets go of my hand.

Danbury: From what I see, dear friend, this season we will both be very busy.- she comments to my mother and I looked at her with confusion . -You supervising your three children debuting and I supervising Edwina Sharma and Prince Y/n of Hannover here present.- she comments amused and I open my eyes, impressed in the most hidden way possible.

Violet: Oh, so you're going to debut too? - asks my impressed mother to the prince.

Y/n: That's the idea, my father thought that it's the right time to start looking for that special person so I can get married.- he answers with a perfect smile; iugh what a rage of a man.

Violet: It seems to me that your father is quite right, finding a special person to fall in love with and thus be able to get married takes time.- she comments and I can see a certain citric expression on his face, but it's barely perceptible and covers it very fine with a smile

Y/n: It's the same thing he says.- He nods agreeing.

Danbury: Why don't you invite Miss Eloise to a dance, dear.- she suggests and I want to deny it immediately, but I see the look my mother gives me.

Violet: I think it's a great idea.- she supports her friend with a huge smile.

Y/n: I suppose that if Miss Eloise accepts I won't have any problem dancing with her.- he assures looking at me with a small smile and extending his hand.

Violet: She doesn't have any problem, right daughter?- she asks me with a smile between her teeth.

Eloise: No, I would love to dance with you, my lord.- I assure him, bowing slightly and accepting his hand.

Y/n: Perfect, so if you'll excuse us, there's a dance floor and a dance waiting for us.- he tells those present with a kind smile and guides me towards the dance floor.

We were immediately on the dance floor, with one of his hands on my waist and the other connected to mine. While my free hand rests on his shoulder and a new song begins.

Eloise: I have to apologize in advance for stomping on you during the dance.- I repeat what my mother has dictated to me so many times before each dance.

Y/n: It's okay, not everything in this life tries to dance perfectly and in sync.- He downplays it by starting to move. -And tell me, is it your first season?- he asks while we dance and I count the steps.

Eloise: Don't talk or I'll get involved with the steps.- I order, looking down at my feet.

Y/n: It's easier to look at your dance partner than at your feet.- he assures me with a certain amused tone. -If you only look at your feet, you'll end up skipping a step and you won't be able to continue counting the steps.- he explains with evident experience.

Eloise: Perhaps the Prince of Hannover had problems with dancing.- I scoffed with a bit of venom.

Y/n: Well yes and I'm not ashamed of it.- he admits standing up. -The dances and some other points of the social events seem too banal and unnecessary for a day to day .- he explained and I looked at his eyes completely surprised.

Eloise: What? - I ask completely surprised, I would never imagine that someone from royalty, much less the queen's nephew, would think something like that about social events.

Y/n: The fact that i'm part of the royal family does not mean that i do not have my own ideas and that I agree with everything that is done in these events.- he comments without much interest. -Besides, the dances are supposed to meet and connect, which is absurd since there is nothing better than a conversation to get to know someone.- He defends his point of view and I couldn't agree more .

Eloise: Then why are you participating as a debutante and dancing with me right now? - I ask with a frown.

Y/n: I guess for the same reason as you.- he answer directly.

Eloise: And what do you know about my debut.- I say defensively.

Y/n: People like to talk, Miss Bridgerton, besides that your disgusted face and little interest in dancing are clear signs that you 're not making your debut for fun.- he explains and I purse my lips a bit annoyed for how fast he has read me; and for what he will have heard from me.

Eloise: What have you heard about me?- I ask him in a somewhat aggressive way.

Y/n: The dance is over.- he says separating from me . -It looks like we'll have to continue this conversation at another time, Miss Bridgerton .- he comments, leaving another kiss on the back of my hand and guiding me back to my mother. -I return your daughter Lady Bridgerton in one piece.- he tells my mother politely.

Violet: I thank you my lord.- she thanks him and the prince makes a small bow and walks away from us. -How was the dance with the prince? - she asks me excited.

Eloise: Incredible mother, dancing with the prince has been such a compliment, it has been a dream come true and now I can die in peace. - I exaggerate ironically and she looks at me challengingly.

Benedict: He seems like a nice guy.- he comments with our mother. -Besides, he's endured a whole dance with our sister and it doesn't look like he's complained about her stomping.- he comments amused, causing Colin to laugh and for me to hit him on the arm.

Eloise: I haven't stepped on it.- I deny immediately in my defense.

Colin: Yes, you have.- he assures me with confusion and amusement . -You've stepped on him like five times at least.- he points out and I open my eyes surprised at not having noticed.

Benedict: We were betting on how many more stomps the poor man would put up with.- he comments laughing with our brother.

Violet: Stop talking nonsense and laughing at your sister.- she tells them seriously. -Now Benedict, help your sister socialize and you Colin; you come with me.- she orders us.

Eloise: And Francesca? - I ask confused not seeing my little sister.

Violet: Your brother Anthony has offered to help her this season with me. - she tells me and I nod in understanding. -Now move all of you.- she says and after grabbing our brother's arm she disappears.

Benedict: Let's go around and discuss some of the ridiculous dresses and accessories of your competitors.- he mocks, offering me his arm and I delightedly grab it with mine.

Benedict is my favorite brother, because he always follows my jokes and he is the person with whom I feel most comfortable to talk about anything. I have always felt a greater connection with him than with any of my other siblings.

As we walk around the room, talking about some of the tacky dresses and hideous costumes of the other debutantes at the ball. I can't help replaying my conversation with the prince during the dance in my head, trying to figure out what he meant by his words and what he knows about me

#eloise bridgerton #bridgerton #eloise bridgerton x reader #bridgerton netflix #eloise bridgerton x male reader #anthony bridgerton #lady whistledown #queen charlotte #benedict bridgerton #violet bridgerton #edwina sharma #kate sharma #oc character #male reader

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jocelynscrazyideas · 8 months ago

Note

I NEED MORE QUINN CONTENT

Hurts | Quinn Hughes x Reader🫶

NOT PROOD READ

🚨‼️none of my blurbs are ever proof read‼️🚨

Summary: Quinn gets defensive in his take of having kids, in order to be happy in a successful relationship, you feel that you need to have a partner that values having their own family. Quinn disagrees and decides to focus on his career, which you agreee and support, but you bring up having to split. Quinn makes a decision…

Warnings: physical contact, no abuse, argument if kids?

A:N- Ik you prob meant some smut, but I’m in a mood and I decided to write something else🫶 Quinn smut coming next after a Jack smut!

.　 . �� ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

I told myself that I would stand up for myself, I would never let a man tell me what to do. I’m an independent woman, who occasionally lets herself have fun with her boyfriend. It’s difficult trying to fulfill your childhood dreams, but this isn’t a dream. This is a full on goal, I know I can keep up to it, it’s just Quinn makes me want to disrespect myself.

He literally screams out my name, he listens, he helps me understand things that I don’t get, he supports me, and most importantly, he gives me respect, and true loyalty and honesty, he fully trusts me. He would give me anything I want.

“Lovie?” Quinn breaks the silence from our previous argument. He places his hand on my inner thigh. I feel a pulse in my pelvis.

“Hm.” I responded, just letting him know I’m listening, but still upset about our disagreement. Early on in the morning, Wuinn and I disagreed about the love for our jobs and our future together. I wnat kids, he doesn’t. I know, I said he would give me anything that makes me happy. This is one thing he doesn’t agree upon.

Quinn had previously mentioned that kids isn’t in his future, just because he’s so focused on his career. Do I agree with his story? Yes. I understand where he’s coming from, but I’m truly curious when we can have babies.

“I know some people break up from not agreeing in a future family. But that’s not us.” Quinn stated.

I’m disappointed. I really am, I thought he would understand where I’m coming at.

“Well, just saying… when you get the handle of being Captain, maybe we could fit in having a child, or more.” I insist. I know it’s hard, you know being Captain, but after a few years of Captain.

I mean we’re at the perfect age to start considering kids. Mid-20s, that way when our kids are about 10, we’ll be 30, and when they’re 18… well we would be about early late 40s. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to wait a few years to have kids, especially Quinn story.

I’m staring out the window, I know it’s hard for Quinn to feel so left out of my thinking, but I’m truly horrified. I’m scared that this will split us apart. Maybe this is a sign from God. Maybe I’m getting signals by the universe, “this is what’s best for us.” Quinn says as he looks over at me.

Suddenly the trees look so beautiful. Maybe I should just jump out of this car, the ride home is taking to long.

We’re driving home from a party at Peteys house to kick off the season. Our first game is next week and the roster is finalized, the letters are printed on the jerseys. Everything is ready.

“We have to finish this.” Quinn says, not letting this go.

“fine.” I say making it clear I don’t want to finish this “debate” and this so called “problem” of mine. I pull out my phone and call Ellen.

“Hey Mama Bear!” I say, Ellen can’t know that Quinn and I are going through something. This “debate” isn’t just happening, it’s been brought up about four times.

“What’s up Y/n? Something wrong?” Ellen askes, she gets up from her kitchen table and walks into her bedroom, where Jim lays on his computer finishing some work.

She points the camera at them both and Quinn speaks up, “no mom. Nothings wrong, I’m not sure why Y/n keeps calling.” Quinn motions to put the phone down. I obviously don’t do as he says.

“Yes, actually. I’m just wondering-“ I imply, but Quinn cuts me off.

“No. Nothing is wrong.” And he takes my phone and turns off the video call. He chucks the phone in the back. He pulls into the driveway of our home.

“We can fix this ourselves.” Quin eyes my belly. He climbs over the panel that separates my seat and Quinn’s.

“no, I don’t think we can.” I say as I pull away from Quinn’s request to kiss me. I see the look in Quinn’s eyes as he sees my pain.

My voice cracks, I sure I can’t be with someone that doesn’t wnat the life Ive fancied since I was a girl.

“Lovie. Come back.” Quinn slams his car door, and he locks the vehicle. He storms behind me as I run into our bathroom.

“Unlock the door.” Quinn pounds not once but twice and his feet trail off to our garage.

“Unlock it before I wreck it.” Quinn says as he grunts as if he picked something heavy off the ground.

“I don’t want to have makeup sex, or talk about it. Just let me live, or let me think this through. Because Quinn, right now it sounds like you want me to give up my dreams of being a mom.” I know hate is a sin. I just- I’m not sure if I can even think about leaving my childhood goal behind.

“Okay. If that’s what you need, I’ll leave.” And I hear a crack and a boom from above me.

I look up from the ground and I see Quinn has stabbed the door with a hatchet. I didn’t even know we had that in our home.

I stand up from the ground and back up towards our shower. I hit our wall that’s parallel to our wood door.

“I love you.” Quinn says as I see the door bang. The door is about to give up. Quinn runs into the door once more and I see him fall to the ground with our door. I’m stuck inside our shower. Quinn is on the door that had fallen. The wind was knocked iut if him.

“Baby?” I say as I step carefully out of the bathroom and into our room. I grab a first aid kit.

Quinn is bleeding from his head.

“Why did you do it?” I say in a frantic tone. I pick Quinn’s head up and I clean his wound.

“I’m fine. And I want kids.” Quinn says as he smiles.

Quinn gets up and sticks a bandaid on his cut. He takes his pants off and followed by his boxers. He throws his shirt off. He’s bare skinned and he jumps into bed.

I do the same. I throw my shirt off, leaving my bra on, and I slide my jeans off. Taking my thong off and sliding it onto if Quinn’s pile of clothing, I snap my bralette off and I throw it elsewhere. I jump into bed as Quinn hold me. The lights are off, doors are locked. We’re exhausted.

Quinn holds me in his arms, legs wrapped over me. Dick pricked up looking at me. My boobs hang to the side as I’m laying on my side as well. Quinn pulls me in, kisses my shoulder, and he whispers a name.

“Vada.” Quinn kissed my forehead and sets his head in my breasts. He falls asleep, not a care in the world about our broken door that he had slammed down.

This argument is settled, we’re having kids.

#jocelynscrazyideas #hockey #nhl #umich hockey #quinn hughes #captain huggy #captain quinn #🍇🍇🍇#nhl fic #hockey blurb #quinn hughes x reader #emotional angst

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gardnhee · 8 months ago

Text

you’ll always love me - L.HS

✧₊⁺. warning(s)- fluff, anstyyy, highschool au, mentions of cheating, proofread, intentional lowercase, cursing - lmk if i missed anything !

✧₊⁺. student!hee x student!afab!reader

✧₊⁺. song rec. el malo - aventura

✧₊⁺. wc. 1.1k

✧₊⁺. note. when i was listening to this it reminded me of heeseung so here i am writing about it (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭

with your head rested upon your arms, you stared at the cup of milk your friend had brought from the cafeteria. long forgotten, melted ice creating a thick layer of water that easily mixed with just a swirl of your dainty finger.

faint chatter floated through the hallway in small murmurs, a stark contrast to the utter silence that enveloped the classroom. you sighed, gazing out the window, only to be met with girls laughing, boys - who swore were mature yet acted completely opposite to such statement - ran about, playing pranks on people like twelve year olds. your attention traveled to the clock nailed right above the chalkboard, 12:40 pm. you groaned, realizing there’s still a long, agonizing hour of lunch left.

as the door creaked open, you jerked in your seat, awkwardly pursing your lips when you made eye contact with whoever dared disturb your solitude.

tall, painfully bright smile, purple hair with a hint of orange, honey like skin, and grin inducing eyes.

“hi…heeseung…” you say rather glumly, rolling your eyes as a bothersome tickle blossomed in your chest.

you divert your eyes, ignoring the smug look on his face.

“where’s your boyfriend, pretty?” he questions, studying his surroundings as he walks to you.

“i don’t know where jay is, and don’t call me that.” you sneer, making the boy wince in faux pain.

“you hurt me, truly.” heeseung jokingly protests, resting his whole body weight on one arm, palm planted on your desk. he sends you an ear-to-ear smile, which you smack away with a frown.

“why do you want to know where he is, anyway?”

the anticipating male knits his eyebrows, “oh, i’m not asking for myself.” he continues, “he said he’d be back uh…..” checks his watch, then peers back at you, “right before lunch started?” heeseung tilts his head, “where is he now?”

“what? how do you know that?”

“we have the same class, did you forget?”

“oh. right.” with a dismissive nod, you keep your eyes on the window. he sucks his teeth, leaning forward.

“don’t go quiet on me now, i need you to think.”

“go away, heeseung. ‘m not in the mood for your bullshit right now.”

“i’m serious.”

“so am i, leave me alone.”

he sighs, whipping his phone out and placing it on the desk before you. “yn. look.” you didn’t, stare fixed on the window.

“yn! look! dammit…”

“fine! my fucking go-“

your lungs compressed as your breath hitched.

“that’s fake, heeseung. that can’t be true.” with a shaky voice, you grab the phone, this just can’t be fucking true - you hoped it wasn’t true.

“now why the fuck would i fake this? it’s so obviously jay with yet another girl.”

“‘yet another girl?’ fuck does that mean, heeseung?”

“it means you need to open your eyes.”

“no, you’re doing this because…” you stop in order to gather your thoughts, “because you’re not over me and you want me back. that’s right, yeah.”

heeseung scoffs at your dumb attempt to convince yourself, “you’re right, i still love you and that’s why i’m looking out for you. jay’s been jumping from girl to girl while you obliviously sit around looking stupid.” he shakes his head, “i can’t even begin to understand why you got with an asshole like him.”

“you’re pathetic.” you violently seethe as you stand and try to walk away.

“seriously?-“

“yes! who the hell do you think you are coming in here and telling me this?”

“hey, what are you getting mad at me for?” heeseung is visibly upset, and much to your luck, also right. he’s not at fault nor does he deserve your anger.

“why are you doing this…?”

he sighs in frustration, taking his headphones from his neck and setting them down on your desk, “look, yn. this is not the first girl he’s-“

“then why didn’t you tell me sooner? hm?”

“because you never let me get close to you anymore! how was i supposed to tell you?!”

“you’re my ex, hee, of course i don’t want you anywhere near me!”

“you don’t mean that.” his voice is low, solemn, as he looks at you with soft eyes.

“how would you know that?”

“look at me in the eyes and say it with your chest, then.” heeseung steps closer, driving you to stumble back against a desk.

“i mean it.”

“and i don’t believe it.” he scans for any sort of emotion on your face, and finds it. god, he can read you like an open book.

“i refuse to believe that he loves you better than i did. i refuse to believe he knows when, where, and how to kiss you. i refuse to believe he knows all the spots that make you see stars. i refuse, yn.”

you open your mouth, but nothing comes out, so heeseung took this as an opportunity to speak again. “you’ll always love me, i’ll always love you. and whether you want to believe what you just saw or not, deep down i know you don’t care because your heart belongs to me.” he cages you in until you’re half-sitting on the wooden surface.

“can you grab my phone, please?” you quietly instruct.

“yn-“

“please?”

heeseung nods, rummaging through your school bag and handing you the phone.

“thank you.” you quickly open jay’s message, furiously typing as heeseung tries to peek at the screen. you tsk, bringing the phone to your chest.

“what did you send?”

“he’s not my boyfriend anymore.” you shrug, snorting at the way he tries to keep his excitement at bay.

“you’re right, you know?” he hums as you bite your lip, “i’ll always love you. i mean…it was 3 years, after all…” heeseung nods in agreement, leaning back on your desk as you’re both facing each other, long legs on either side of yours.

you gaze into his eyes, so sincere, so beautiful. why did you ever let him go? yes, he failed you at times and vice versa, you’ve had arguments like any other relationship, but it was nothing major like… well, cheating. heeseung always stayed loyal to you no matter the circumstances.

he glances at your lips, then your eyes. a calm silence fell between, nothing to say except, “can you kiss me?” you utter just above a whisper. he seizes your waist, eagerly pressing his lips to yours. the kiss was demanding, dripping with longing, regret, euphoria.

you sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck as he hoisted you onto the table. heeseung pulled back, caressing your thighs.

“can i be your boyfriend?… again?” you giggle, hugging him.

“of course, silly.”

“one more thing.”

“yes, heeseung?”

“i love you.”

“oh, i know!” you beam, earning an unsatisfied grunt from your boyfriend. “i’m joking, dumbass.” you lightly punch his arm, “i love you more.” he smiles like a child, pecking your lips and backing away.

“last one to the cafeteria buys food!” he takes off running as you yell after him, laughing hysterically.

your heart swells, and for the first time in months, you’re in love all over again.

✧₊⁺. big thanks to my proof reader @heartryuu !!

✧₊⁺. please leave a like, comment, and repost!! i would highly appreciate that (∩˃o˂∩)♡

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therealcocoshady · 7 months ago

Text

Recovery - Chapter 40

Summary : Y/N tells Marshall she cheated on him.

Tags : Angst - Smut - Fluff

Thank you again to @shady-577 who kindly agreed to read this chapter beforehand and did a great job at motivating me when I was writing that SMUTTY part 🥵

Marshall stared at you for what felt like ages. He wasn’t mad, no. He was beyond livid. You’d seen him angry and pissed off before… or so you thought. He didn’t need to say a single word, though. The energy he exuded was enough for the whole block to know go he felt. You were feeling ashamed and helpless. It felt like there was absolutely nothing you could do and you just had to wait for his wrath to come down on you. Whatever it was that he was ready to throw at you, it was probably deserved, and there was no denying that. At some point, he had been silent for so long that you avoided his gaze. Him starting at you so silently was almost creepy. You were just sitting here, tears streaming down your face, waiting for him to say a word.

- Did he force you ? He finally asked.

- He didn’t, you said as you kept on crying.

- You wanted it ?! He asked in disbelief.

- No, I-, you began.

- So he did force you, he said as he cut you.

- No, you cried. I mean… I’m the one who kissed him.

- No you weren’t, he said. You wouldn’t do that. You would never.

- I did, you cried. And I’m so sorry. But I… I…

- You what ? He spat. You fell and your tongue accidentally ended up in his mouth ?!

- I kissed him because I needed to feel good again, you cried. I kissed him because I felt dirty and ashamed because the one person who said he would always have my back and protect me fed me to the wolves. I have spent all week being harassed on social media, witnessing people celebrating the return of Slim Shady and making awful montages of me ! I was feeling worthless and he was there. So yes, I kissed him. Because, for one split second, I felt seen and worthy again. I kissed him because I wanted to feel loved.

You were bawling, struggling to get the words out of your mouth, but it felt good. You could feel Marshall staring at you even though it was hard to decipher his expression, your vision being clouded by the tears in your eyes.

- I know I shouldn’t have, you said. I know it’s wrong and I hate myself for betraying you this way. I’m so sorry… and I know cheating is never ok but…

- Did you sleep with him ? He asked.

- No, you replied earnestly. It was just a kiss.

- How was it ?

- How was what ? You asked confused.

- Describe it, he instructed. I want to know.

- I… it was a kiss, you said. Just a kiss.

- How did it feel ? He asked. Did you like it ?

- Familiar, you replied. Comfortable. But I-I didn’t like it.

- Why is that ?

- Marshall, do we have to do this ? You asked with pleading eyes. I’m so sorry…

- Answer me, he said coldly.

- I… I didn’t like it because it didn’t feel right, you said. I immediately regretted it. Because it was familiar and it felt safe but it wasn’t you.

- Do you love him ? He asked. Is he the one you want to be with ?

- No. Of course not ! You cried. You’re the one I want to be with ! But I was hurt, and lost, and I know it doesn’t make it right but… there’s nothing else I can say. I fucked up.

He nodded and stayed silent. He took his face in his hands and didn’t move for a couple of minutes. Then, he took a breath and looked at you intently.

- Alright, he said.

- Alright ? You asked nervously.

- Do you want to be with me ? He asked back.

- I… yes, you said.

You were lost. You expected him to leave you on the spot, insult you… hell, even though you knew he wasn’t violent, you would have expected him to hit you rather than the reaction he was having.

- Good, he said. We’re going to get through it.

- Aren’t you mad ? You asked in confusion.

- I’m not mad, Y/N, he stated. I am beyond mad. But it doesn’t change what I said ten minutes ago. I love you, I want to be with you and we will get through this.

- O-ok, you said as you tried to dry your tears.

- Here’s what we’re going to do : you’re going to pack your bags and you’re coming home with me. Tonight. And tomorrow, I’m booking a therapy session for the both of us. Alright ?

- Ok, you nodded nervously.

You went upstairs and quickly prepared your things. When you went back downstairs, he was speaking with Talia and Jamal. Things seemed tense but civil nonetheless. You hugged your friends and thanked them profusely for taking care of you.

- Call us if you need anything, baby, Talia said.

- Of course, you replied.

- And you, Jamal told Marshall, you better take good care of her. Understood ? I swear on Talia, if you fuck it up…

- Yeah, Marshall replied. I know.

They stared at each other for a second before eventually dapping each other and you went on your way. The car ride home was relatively silent. You weren’t too sure what to say. As soon as Marshall said he wanted to work things out and that he didn’t want to dump you, you had felt relieved but now it was becoming apparent that the hardest part might be in front of you, not behind. He carried your bags and you went to the bedroom.

- Time for bed, he said. You look exhausted. I’ll call the therapist in the morning.

- Ok, you said timidly. Marshall, I… I’m really sorry, you know ?

- I know, he said. I’m sorry too.

You looked in his eyes, hoping to find something you could hold on to, in order to feel safe, more at ease. He was staring intently but his jaw was clenched. There was a hardness to him. You immediately lowered your gaze. He placed a hand on your shoulder and a chaste kiss on your forehead.

- I’ll let you get ready for bed, he said.

- Aren’t you coming ? You asked nervously.

- Yeah, in a minute.

He disappeared and you unpacked your bags, before grabbing a nightgown and matching silk robe from your closet. You got in bed and waited for Marshall. It was your first time sleeping in your bed in a week and, even though it was your house, your bedroom, it felt foreign. Without Marshall by your side, the bed was cold. You waited for a couple of hours but he didn’t come. You nervously got up and went downstairs, where you found him sitting on the couch, face in his hands.

- Marshall…? You asked.

- Sorry, he said. I’m coming. I just need a minute.

- Are you alright…?

- Of course not, he scoffed. How the fuck can I be alright when my woman kissed someone else ?! When someone else touched her ?! How can you expect me to be alright when you went and made out with your fucking ex boyfriend ?!

- I’m sorry, you said as tears started welling in your eyes.

- Being sorry doesn’t change anything, he replied coldly. I should know.

You nodded nervously as the tears started to silently stream down your face. He looked at you and sighed.

- Go back to bed, honey, he said. I’ll sleep here tonight.

- You could always take the guest room, you said.

- I’d rather keep my distance, he said. I’m sorry.

- And not even sleep on the same floor ? You asked. Look, if you don’t think we can-

- I want us to work things out, he said. I do. And I want you with me. That’s the plan. But right now, I’m pissed and you don’t want me around, babe. I swear.

- Why ? You asked as you sat next to him. You said we can get through this. Because it’s us.

- Because, right now, the only thing on my mind is to remind you of whose girlfriend you are, he groaned. Of who you belong to. Of taking back everything that’s mine, that this motherfucker got his hands on.

His eyes were dark and, from the tone of his voice, you knew just how he wanted to remind you that you were his. Truth was, even when you kissed Simon, you had never stopped being Marshall’s. Not even for a second. Which was probably the worst thing about all of it. You looked at him for a second and let your silk robe fall to the floor, leaving you in your nightgown. He stared at you intently, not saying a word.

- ok, you simply whispered.

- You want this ? He asked with a raised eyebrow.

- I want you, you nodded.

- I won’t be nice, he said.

- Don’t be nice, then.

His arm reached for you and pulled you to him. You were straddling his lap, trying to find balance when he kissed you hungrily. One of his hands was on your hip while the other was on your neck, letting you know he was in charge. You weren’t wearing anything under your nightgown, so your pussy was completely bare against his thigh. You let out a moan and he gently bit your lip before resuming the intense making out.

- Is that how you kissed him ? He asked. Did he ever kiss you like this ?

- N-No, you said breathily.

- Good, he said coldly. Now, tell me, where did he touch you ?

- What ? You asked in confusion.

- Where were his hands ? He asked. I need to know.

- He… he cupped my face, you said nervously. And he touched my shoulder… and he had his hand on my hip.

He brought a hand to your face, stroking your cheek. Then, he placed his hands right where you had described Simon touching you.

- like this ? He asked.

- Yes, you nodded.

He tightened his grip on you and kissed you again, making you feel just how possessive he was.

- You said you were mine, he reminded you. The night we got together. You said it.

- I am yours, you replied in a pleading voice.

- So you think you can just go and give away what is mine ? He groaned.

- N-No, you said. I’m yours. I’m all yours.

- Is that mouth mine ? He asked in between kisses.

- Yes, you almost cried. It’s yours.

- Show me, then, he directed.

You proceeded to kiss him softly, cupping his face, running your fingers in his hair. He hummed into the kiss before letting out a groan. Then, without giving you any notice, he planted a kiss in your neck before sucking on it, causing you to gasp a the intensity. You knew it would leave a mark but you didn’t care one bit in that moment. Then, his mouth went to your shoulder, right where Simon had touched you, and he bit it, not too harshly, but enough for his teeth to leave a mark.

- Mine, he groaned. You’re mine.

You nodded and, before you could say anything, he was ripping your silk nightgown off your body and biting your hip before sucking on it, causing you to let out a small cry. His piercing blue gaze inspected you, as if to make sure you were ok, and he kissed you again, letting his hands wander on your body. You were under his spell, willing to please him and let him know you were his, his only. You fell to your knees and looked at him, asking for permission. He simply nodded, letting you get to work. You undid his sweatpants and boxers, letting his cock spring free. You pumped it a couple of times before starting to lick and suck on it. You closed your eyes, focusing, and heard him gasp as his length reached the back of your throat, triggering a bit of a gag reflex on your part. You kept on sucking, trying to take as much of him as you could.

- This mouth is mine, huh ? He asked.

You nodded and he gently stroked your cheek before putting your hair into a makeshift ponytail and using it to direct your movements. Before you knew it, he was fucking your mouth as you were trying to keep up. You were a drooling mess, with tears streaming down your cheeks. You half expected him to come in your mouth but he didn’t. In fact, he kept going for a long time, your jaw starting to ache. At one point, though, you couldn’t take it anymore and had to tap on his thigh to let him notice you were gasping for air. When he let go of your mouth, his cock was shining, full of your saliva. While you were composing yourself, breathing some much needed air, he shed the rest of his clothes and, when he was done, he grabbed your hand and helped you get back up.

- I’m not done with you, he said. I’m going to remind you who you belong to. So that you never forget it again.

You nodded and he kissed you before having you bend over the dining room table, your tits against the cold glass. You felt his hand on your butt, squeezing it, giving it a little slap. He kneeled behind you and started licking your pussy, no doubt feeling how wet you were. You could hear the sound of your own arousal when he inserted two fingers, curving them so they’d hit just the right spot. His tongue was stroking your clit, making you see stars.

- I’m going to come, you warned.

- No, he said firmly as he stopped what he was doing.

- Wh-what ? You asked.

- I decide when you come, he said. You don’t.

You were about to protest when he grabbed you firmly and had you sit on the edge of the table before entering you. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, trying to find balance while he was pounding hard into you. He usually gave you some time to get used to him being inside but not this time. You were gasping and moaning each time he hit your cervix. And right when you were going to come, he stopped and had you change position, putting you in doggystyle on the couch. He resumed the thrusting, one hand playing with your clit, the other gently teasing your asshole while he was pounding into you. This had you losing your mind and you were unable to hold your orgasm. Your legs were shaking and tears were rolling down your cheeks as you were crying in pleasure.

- What did I say about cumming ? Marshall asked.

- I’m sorry, you panted.

- If you want orgasms, I’ll give you some, he said with a grin.

He made you come again and again, using and abusing your holes. Everything around you was a blur and your senses could only focus on Marshall, sliding in and out of you, leaving bites all over your body. You weren’t even capable of forming coherent thoughts and simply mumbled « ohs » and « ahs ». With everybody orgasm, you were sure you couldn’t take any more but he gladly proved you wrong.

- Did he ever fuck you like this ? He asked.

- Who ?

- That motherfucker, he groaned. Don’t make me say his name. Did he ever make you come like this ? Did he ever make you squirt like that ?

- N-no, you cried. No, he didn’t.

- That’s right, he said as he kept on stroking your clit.

You could feel your limbs spasming and, as he tried to get you to ride him, you found that you were absolutely unable to stand. You started doubting that you were able to go again but he encouraged you as he fucked himself into you.

- One more, baby, he said. Give me one more.

- I can’t, you cried.

- Yes you can, he said before biting your neck once again.

Your eyes rolled back into your skull and, for half a second, you wondered if there was such a thing as dying from too many orgasms. Was it the death you were destined to die ? Dying in the arms of Marshall as he bottomed into you, causing screams of equal pain and pleasure ? But you couldn’t tell him to stop. Not even if you wanted to. And you didn’t even want to. You felt your muscles contracting around him one last time and he almost stopped, causing you to whimper and cry in frustration.

- Whose pussy is it ? He asked.

- Min- No, no, yours !

- Who do you belong to ? He asked again.

- You, you cried. I-I belong to you.

He let out a grunt and thrusted into you a couple more times, chasing both of your highs. You felt him twitch inside of you as he came inside, before collapsing on top of you. You were trembling and shuddering, crying tears of pleasure and pain. You were sure you blacked out for a moment. When you came to your senses, Marshall’s fingers were tracing the features on your face.

- I love you, he said emotionally.

- I love you too, you mumbled.

- Are you ok ? He asked with a concerned look.

- Mmmmmh, you groaned.

- Mmmh yes or mmmmh no ? He asked with a raised eyebrow.

- Mmmyes, you painfully articulated.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead and you realized just how sweaty you were. You were laying on the floor, in a puddle of your own release. As you slowly regained your senses, you took notice of just how sore you were and, as soon as you tried sitting up, you let out a painful gasp. Evidently, your body has been put through a lot.

- Don’t move, honey, he directed.

- M’so sore, you complained.

- I bet, he said softly. How about a bath ?

You nodded and closed your eyes. You were feeling completely spent and unsure whether or not you’d be able to move ever again. He lifted you and carried you bridal style to the bathroom where he drew a bath for the both of you. He was incredibly soft and gentle, contrasting with the roughness with which he had fucked you senseless. Every part of your body was sore, from your throat to your pussy and ass, to your legs, without mentioning your neck and back. Marshall gently lathered you with soap and massaged your back. As his hands went to your legs, you automatically closed them.

- Don’t worry, I’m done with you for now, he chuckled.

- You better be, you mumbled. Nearly killed me.

He scoffed and placed a small kiss on your shoulder before applying some cleanser to your face, which direly needed it. Between drool, sweat and other bodily fluids that had dried on it, it felt terrible. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the softness of Marshall’s touch. He seemed to be back to his and loving self. When you were done with the bath, he wrapped you in a towel and carried you to the bedroom. He let you down on the bed and went to his closet to get some comfy clothes for you to wear.

- Sorry I tore the nightgown, babe, he said as he helped you get dressed. I’ll get you another one.

- Ok, you yawned.

You let your head fall on the pillow and he pressed a kiss to your forehead, making sure you were comfortable. He asked you a couple of questions but most of your responses were monosyllabic. You were all sore, fucked-out and overall exhausted. He got up and, as he reached the door, you were suddenly worried.

- You’re leaving ? You asked anxiously in a throaty voice.

- I think I have some cleaning to do downstairs, he replied with a smirk.

- Oh, right, you mumbled.

- I’ll come back with water and snacks in a few. You just rest, ok ?

- Thanks for taking care of me, you whispered.

- I love you, you know ? He asked.

- I love you too, you said emotionally. And I am yours. All yours.

- I know, he said.

He went downstairs and you glanced at the window. It was already morning and the sun was rising. It was beautiful and it gave you a sense of peace. When Marshall came back, you were staring at the sun dreamily. He handed you a bottle of water and sat in bed next to you.

- It’s beautiful, you said.

- It is, he agreed.

You turned and noticed he was staring at you. You blushed and lowered your gaze. He cupped your face and kissed you gently.

- We should sleep, baby, he said.

You nodded and laid down. He cuddled you in a spoon position, stroking your hair and tracing circles on your scalp.

- Are you ok ? You asked. Are you still… mad ?

- I don’t know. I think I’m still hurt, he admitted.

- I’m sorry, you said. I really am…

- I know, baby, he said. So am I.

- Do you think we’ll be ok ? You asked nervously.

- I hope so, he said. That’s what I want. I want us to forgive each other and move on.

You nodded and turned around, burying your face in his neck. He mumbled a few love words in your ear and you fell asleep in his arms.

When you woke up, you were still exhausted. You were alone in bed and assumed Marshall had gone to the studio to get some work done. Your whole body was sore and you struggled to get out of bed to go downstairs. As soon as you got in the living room, you were met with Marshall, who was speaking to Tracy. You immediately felt self-conscious to appear in Marshall’s clothes, with messy hair and a morning face. You also wondered what she was doing here. You knew that, before you lived here, she often came to Marshall’s place for work purposes, but ever since you had moved in, she hadn’t been around - which was fine with you.

- Hey babe, Marshall said with a smile. Didn’t think you’d be up so early.

- Bed was empty, you shrugged. Hi Tracy.

- Hi, Y/N, she said rather awkwardly. I… didn’t realize you were back.

- I am, you said equally awkwardly. I… live here, you know ?

- I know, she said. I just… Marshall mentioned you weren’t there, lately. But I’m glad to see you’re back !

The whole thing was rather awkward. She was staring at you intently. You were in Marshall’s clothes and it definitely had a pajama feel to it, but at least, you were decent. You shot a glance at Marshall, as if to ask what her deal was. He stared back and pretended to scratch his neck. You raised an eyebrow and looked at the mirror. You were wearing an oversized tee-shirt and sweatpants but they didn’t hide the marks all over your arms and necks. You looked as if you’d been in a car crash, or attacked by some psychopath. You expected to see some hickies, but were definitely surprised to notice bruises and some distinct bite marks, in your neck and all over your arms. You didn’t even remember Marshall biting you there. You covered your mouth and felt your face flush with embarrassment.

- So, there’s what you asked for, Tracy said as she handed Marshall a bag. I’ll be at the office with Paul all day. Call me if you need anything ?

- Thanks, Marshall said. Can you cancel my recording session with Royce tomorrow ? I need the afternoon free.

She left and Marshall handed you the bag Tracy had given him. It was a new phone.

- Sent her to the Apple Store this morning, he chuckled. Figured you’d need a new one.

- Thanks, you said before kissing his cheek. I wondered what she was doing here.

- I know you don’t like being around her, but I couldn’t exactly go there by myself without causing a riot, he chuckled. Last time I tried was a nightmare. I would have ordered in online but delivery takes longer.

- I’ll admit that having an assistant must come in handy, you giggled. She did not seem happy to see me.

- I think she was just surprised, he shrugged. By your appearance, mostly.

- Speaking of which… you fucking marked me !

- I think I got a little carried away, he admitted. But in my defense, every time I bit you, you moaned in pleasure. I simply obliged.

- So it’s not a revenge because you’re jealous ? You asked with a raised eyebrow.

- I’ll plead the fifth, he chuckled. Guess it’ll serve as a reminder that you are spoken for. Both for you and the rest of the world.

- I think the rest of the world will call 911 if they see me like this, you pointed out. You’re crazy !

- About you, yes, he said with a smile. Speaking of crazy… we have an appointment for therapy tomorrow.

- Ok, you said nervously. Do you think it’s going to work ?

- I’m willing to try anything, he said. I’m not losing you. I’m not giving up on us.

#eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #recovery fanfiction #eminem x reader #eminem fluff #eminem imagine #marshall mathers x reader #marshall mathers imagine

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its-your-girl-geekerella · 2 months ago

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EPIC: The Vengeance Saga

I've procrastinated on this post for as long as I possibly could, but I'm here now! Let's get into it:

Not Sorry For Loving You. I love this song and I love Calypso, and you can't change my mind. I will not apologize. I'm not entirely sure why everyone hates her, but she is my smol child. The animatic cracked me up though, because while Calypso is sobbing and singing, Odysseus is hopping on his boat and sailing away like, "I'm just gonna go... yeah. Bye." It made him seem like a jerk, but it was also kinda funny.

Dangerous. It was a genuinely great song. The "Full Speed Ahead" callback showcasing Odysseus's loneliness was great, Hermes was great, the Winions were great. Everything was just great. There is literally nothing I could say about this song you haven't heard.

Charybdis. Honestly? This is the one song from EPIC that I would call truly "mid". Don't get me wrong, all of Jorge's work is epic (haha I'm so funny), but this one was slightly... less epic. Also, I'm more of a dialogue and emotions person, not really an action-enjoying one, so that may have contributed. I will say, however, that Odysseus's "NOOOO" was incredible and deeply relatable.

Get in the Water. Yes. Yes. And yes again. I had waited for this one for so long, and it did not disappoint. The dialogue between Poseidon and Ody? Chef's kiss. Immaculate writing, Jay. Poseidon's "I can't" really made it seem like he wasn't really that angry anymore, like this was something he put on his "to-do" list a few years back, and had to check off. But when Odysseus told him that he should "learn to forgive", implying that a mere MORTAL knew something more than a GOD, he got peeved. The character depth we see in this song is great, especially in comparison to the next song. Part of me does hope that aside from the finale, this is the last "dead people sing to Odysseus" we see for the rest of the show.

600 Strike. I know I said that I'm not super into action scenes, but this song SLAPS. HARD. The singing is so good, and the music really encapsulates the title of the show. When Ody says, "you're going to call of that storm", I got freaking SCARED. That last 1:40 of the song is my favorite part. The vocals are legit my favorite. And "next to my wife"????? WHO APPROVED THIS???? Jorge??? Are you OK???? Am I OK??? After listening to this last song, I literally went into an early-life crisis. I didn't talk to anyone, I ate some ice cream, and silently pondered to myself, "what just happened?" over and over again. I was fine two hours later, though😀

This Saga was everything I hoped it would be, and it was written really well. (Why am I surprised?) My two favorite songs were "Not Sorry For Loving You" and "600 Strike!"

My biggest "thing" with EPIC is that I want it to become a staged musical. I know that Jay at some point said that it may not work out like that, but then a few moths later he said that it could work, so I'm holding on to hope. After all, if EPIC never becomes a staged production, how are countless people supposed to play these characters we know and love? Don't be stingy, Mr. Jalapeno. /j

My largest concern with this Saga is that it would be the hardest to stage, especially with songs like "Charybdis" and "600 Strike". For example, the part where Poseidon drowns Odysseus. How to show Odysseus being drowned and the wind bag floating just above him and the dead people helping him WHILE still showing Poseidon above the water? I have some concepts, but it would still be really hard. Any ideas are welcome!

#epic the musical #epic musical #epic saga #epic #epic the vengeance saga #epic odysseus #jorge rivera herrans #odysseus #the odyssey #musical theatre #theatre kid #musicals #broadway #musical theater #theatre #broadway musicals #epic poseidon #epic the musical calypso

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terriblepersongreatseamonster · 8 months ago

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(Please bear with me through this forthcoming ramble, because I've had all of 6 hours of sleep in the last two days and I'm a bit all over the place. Hopefully this will be coherent 😅)

I don't watch Bridgerton (that's a whole other post that I don't feel like typing out write now), but I've been fascinated by what I've seen on here from this newest season.

I turn 40 this year, and depending on your age you either think that's getting old or you think that I'm still relatively young. I bring this up, because what I'm seeing about Penelope and Colin is honestly something that I never thought I'd see.

Since I was twelve, I've dealt with weight issues. (At this point in my life, I know it's due to PCOS and some other health issues). I am barely 5'0" and typically fit into the 18/20 size clothes.

Being a teen in the late 90s/early 00s meant I didn't see people who looked like me get to be the romantic lead. Girls who looked like me were relegated to being the funny, supportive friend in the background. We got bullied and reminded that we weren't worthy of love or success because of our size. We went to school dances alone and sat on the bleachers while our friends slow-danced with their dates. We didn't get the love story, we got to watch someone else have the love story.

For such a long time I believed that my value as a person was tied to my weight. No matter what I did the weight wouldn't budge. Hell, I'm on Ozempic for my diabetes and I'm starting to think I'm the only person on the planet it doesn't cause weight loss for (it does however do a marvelous job of controlling my blood sugar, and at this point a healthy A1C is the thing that matters most).

I went on a few dates in my 20s with men who used my size as their reason to not continue dating (and yes, they all knew my size when they asked me out). When I started dating my husband, I went into it fully anticipating that no matter how much fun we might have he wouldn't be able to see past my size. I was wrong, and am so grateful for that.

It was only about 2 years ago that I started learning to see that I was far more than my weight. That whether I was my current size or managed to somehow be 100 lbs lighter, I'd still be the same person on the inside. I'd still have the same talents and skills, the same personality and humor. And while I've grown to see & love myself for who I am, it's still a day-by-day thing that I struggle with.

So, seeing this:

And this:

It hits me in a way that is hard to explain. I never thought I'd get to see something like this. Never thought I'd get to see someone my size and shape shown as beautiful and desirable.

Look at this woman, she is absolutely lovely:

I don't really know how to end this because now I'm crying. I guess my main point is that I feel seen and it's been an emotional rollercoaster.

And I may have to turn Netflix back on so I can see this season 😅

#bridgerton #polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #colin x penelope #thoughts from a plus-size girl #it's surreal #I am more than my weight #representation matters #type 2 diabetes

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diamonddaze01 · 11 days ago

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⋆｡°✩ n o t e : thank you to everyone who tagged me in this ( @sungbeam , @petrichor-han , @haologram)! took me forever to finally get around to it, but excited to share my wrapped for this year!

⋆｡°✩ on poetry and homecomings - yoon jeonghan

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : my first ever fic! based on a quote by the fantastic palestinian poet mahmoud darwish. something about the words, "If I ever see a flaw of yours, I'd say my eyes are the flawed ones" made something in my heart twinge in the most beautiful way. a purely self indulgent fic i wrote after an exhausting work week, and suddenly, here we are, 3 months later.

⋆｡°✩ plan b-day - hong jisoo

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : my last fic of 2024! a lil drabble for the loveliest boy. no real notes on this, other than i am sure that murphy's law somehow targets me 50000x more than the average human being. again, purely self-indulgent, but also a wonderful way to close out the year.

⋆｡°✩ baby, darling, light of my entire life - choi seungcheol

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : the idea for this came to me after a crazy night out. though i myself have not gotten to this level of drunk yet, i definitely would scream about how pretty choi seungcheol is any day, any time. i was actually shocked when this blew up - it wasn't my favorite piece i'd written at the time, and i woke up one morning and it had skyrocketed from maybe 100 notes to upwards of 600 in one night. weirdly, i think this was maybe the third thing i had ever posted to this blog and it made me so happy that people actually enjoyed my writing. bdlomel, ily <3

⋆｡°✩ full throttle part i | full throttle part ii - yoon jeonghan

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : oh, full throttle, what to say about you (i am combining both parts into one fic - the only reason there are two parts is bc tumblr is a bitch about formatting). there are few things that exhausted me, exhilerated me, enraged me, and made me feel as proud as i do looking at this finished fic. three weeks of non-stop writing every day after work, jotting down notes in the cleanroom and during lunch breaks, and storyboarding when i should have been sleeping culminated in most possibly the pièce de résistance of my year. i had so many people who cheered me on as i wrote this fic, battled through witty banter (that i myself could never say irl) and fiery headlines, but none cheered as loudly as @haologram and @ylangelegy. alta and kae were genuinely the wind beneath my wings as i wrote this, and reading their comments in the doc was what kept me going. in the end, i'm genuinely so happy with how full throttle turned out, and seeing the reactions i'm getting from it make me feel so fulfilled.

⋆｡°✩ the somerset affair - lee seokmin

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : my first forray into longer fic writing (and i'm still battling my way through it, but we don't talk about that). if anyone knows me, they know how much of a Bridgerton fan i am - i quote anthony's speech on the daily, and penelope/eloise are some of my fav romcom heroines ever written (until they both get married, but again, we don't talk about that). i felt like writing this fic was my way to pay homage to this fictional world i adore so much. i have a love/hate relationship with the actual tone of the series - its so hard to maintain the regency tone and also write in a way that's true to my own voice, but at the end of the day it's a challenge i relish. i'm so excited to finish this series this coming year!

⋆｡°✩ 40 fics posted - check them all out in my masterlist!

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : to be fair, a lot of these are drabbles i did for my 101 drabble prompt game, but fuck it we ball. maybe i'm just insane.

⋆｡°✩ ~133,470 words written

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : again, i think i might be a bit insane. did a sacrifice sleep to write? yes. did i storyboard at work? also yes. but then again, it's been an interesting year to say the least, and writing was a really good way to blow off steam after a stressful day at work.

⋆｡°✩ some of my fav fics i read this year - please read the warnings on each fic and do not interact with smut if you're a minor! this is in no particular order:

⋆｡°✩ unforgiven [boo seungkwan] - @haologram ⋆｡°✩ catch you when i can [smau] [chwe hansol] - @xinganhao ⋆｡°✩ the first snow [hong jisoo] - @junkissed ⋆｡°✩ what are the vibes? [choi seungcheol] - @daechwitatamic ⋆｡°✩ red card [kim mingyu] - @highvern ⋆｡°✩ an ode to hands and voice [boo seungkwan] - @ddeonghwa-s ⋆｡°✩ take my word for it [yoon jeonghan] - @ylangelegy ⋆｡°✩ prey [choi seungcheol] - @pochaccoups ⋆｡°✩ sit down [kim mingyu] - @gyuswhore ⋆｡°✩ ave, general [lee jihoon] - @amourcheol

these are just a few of my fav fics i've read, but if you want to see all my recommendations - i suggest checking out @diamond-reads !

⋆｡°✩ goals for 2025

⋆｡°✩ on diamonddaze01: i have a lot of collabs coming up in 2025! i hope that i can meet all those deadlines and write things i'm proud of. i've also learned that writing longer fics like full throttle or somerset affair make me feel more fulfilled as a writer, so expect a lot more of them as i further explore my writing style and characterization. i also want to go back to some of my older wips that i abandoned and reopen them, see where i can go with a fresh mindset. ⋆｡°✩ personal goals: i have a lot, but to name a few: read more, laugh more, love more. i also want to focus on establishing a better work/life balance - i know already that the coming months are going to suck at work, but i no longer want to drag the weight of corporate life home with me. work is work, and that's where it will stay. i want to prioritize my mental and physical well-being over all else, and that starts with reprioritizing things like work, my social life, and writing.

⋆｡°✩ final thoughts

⋆｡°✩ i started writing on tumblr because i was stressed from work and felt like i didn't have a community, especially at a new job and a new city. what started as some stress relief turned into a community of its own. i'm eternally grateful that i was able to meet some wonderful people this year that i truly feel a sense of belonging with. to everyone in the networks i'm in, to anyone that reads my work, to all the lovely people i've met: thank you, and i love you.

⋆｡°✩ if you've made it this far, thanks for reading, and thank you for all your support. i love you all endlessly. it's time to sign off for 2024.

with love as vast as the stars themselves, tara <3

⋆｡°✩ tagging (but no pressure): @tusswrites, @chanranghaeys, @bitchlessdino, @ddeonghwa-s , @c-oupsie, @lovetaroandtaemin, and anyone else who would like to do this!

#tara.tagged #tara.thoughts #tumblr wrapped #2024 wrapped #what a way to end the year.#see ya later 2024

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