#i am thinking about it....

[absowution]

Thinking of tiny Enver, following helplessly along as he's dragged through the streets by a strong, unrelenting grip. It was the middle of the night when the warlock came for him, darkening the Flymm's doorstep. The only time his mother made a fuss when they handed over their son, sparking a light of hope in Enver's heart that they might've changed their mind, was to ask the warlock if he'd counted the amount of gold correctly. After that they were right as rain.

As the trade concluded his mother never looked at him once.

The moment the door to Flymm's Cobblers closed shut behind them with a sense of finality, his fate well and truly sealed, Enver Flymm's mind was running miles a minute. Thoughts of escape had occurred to him, of course, but even if he were to manage to overpower a warlock twice his size and make a run for it, where would he go? His parents just sold him. If he went back they'd kick him right out the door again, screaming and yelling over what he'd done. He turns his options around in his head repeatedly, but he can't think well when his heart is trying to jump its way up his throat.

They're halfway through the Lower City when the grip on his arm suddenly loosens. He could barely hear a thing at first - the city uncharacteristically quiet even for such late hours. Then, there is a sickening squelch followed by a slight thud as the warlock drops dead to the ground. He sees the vague silhouette of someone on top of the body, a smaller creature dripping with blood as it tears through flesh. It's too dark to see a face, but there is something animalistic about its movements. Either it doesn't notice Enver, or it doesn't care.

Whoever or whatever wild thing it was is gone just as fast. By some God's mercy, it passed right by him.

Enver is left alone with the mangled remains of the man who bought him, whose pockets he rifles through for gold and valuables before disappearing from the scene of the crime. Without a home he has to put his mind to work living on the streets, toiling and climbing his way steadily up so as not to ever be so powerless again. It's not a way of life that comes without soiling your hands, but sometimes the messiest deeds are the cleanest, and vice versa. Stabbed backs and broken souls are left behind in the process when you need a stepping stone or two. He will rob as many people of their freedom as necessary to preserve his own because a miracle like that will never happen again. Even so he is admired. Respected. The people of Baldur's Gate support him now in a way they never would have before.

Years pass but it's impossible to forget what granted him this chance to forge connections and climb his way up to become unreachable in the first place. However oblivious it might have been back then that murderous creature freed him, and while there is little to go on in terms of finding it again he'll never forget the debt he owes.

(It grows into an obsession.)

[typheus]

feeling so normal rn (reread a really good book)

[visenyaism]

i don’t know about you guys but the main reason i am still on tumblr in 2024 is BECAUSE it is the most cloutless least influential social media app out there and that is the experience i am after. absolutely none of this will ever translate into significant attention or real success in my life and that is so beautiful.

[koobiie]

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

[charlesoberonn]

It's gonna be such a funny mess when Donald Trump dies of a stroke on April 1st, 2024.

Naturally everybody will think it's fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it's real

There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable "don't speak ill of the dead" discourse about those celebrations

Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that

The Republicans (after they're done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They'll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.

There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)

The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.

Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.

Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[beaft]

my mum forbade me to say anything to my dad about the top surgery thing, and it's just hit me how funny it would be if i got it done and didn't tell him and just waited for him to notice. i mean, what's he gonna say? "didn't you used to have tits?"

[mejkosmos]

whichever madman pointed out that the new rift on bill's body in the theraprism is meant to parallel ford's cracked glasses after he emerges out of the portal,,,, MY SOUL IS YOURS TO TAKE ANYDAY MY GOSH

--------------------------------------------------

bonus !!

ford about bill:

bill about ford:

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[skrunksthatwunk]

see 0 note flop posts aren't that bad when they're personal but 0 note fandom posts feel literally so bad. like if you don't wanna play toys with me anymore just say that. i'll pack up my super cool awesome things and go and i'll sit on the other side of the playground by myself and i won't even look at you. fuck

[gvaine]

wound tending is everything. unparalleled intimacy. let me care for you. let me touch the skin around your open flesh. let me stain my hands with your blood. let me get close and breathe in the same air as you and stare into your eyes for a few seconds too long. let me make you think of me every time you see the bandage, or scar

[bacchuschucklefuck]

couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead

[twinliches]

my (very white, very middle european, very protestant christian, very sixty-year old) father just dropped an inshallah in casual conversation. without precedent or without any acknowledgement. "inshallah they will send us a new internet router" he said. didn't even stutter. what did he mean by this.

[alanaisalive]

Now that Eurovision is over, I want you all, especially the Americans, to take a good hard look at how the voting results turned out when people boycotted the event.

In the UK, the viewing figures were down about 2 million people compared to last year. Up to 2 million people made the conscious decision to not watch and not vote because of Israel's inclusion.

The final results of the public vote, Israel came in first place in the UK and got 12 points. Because the only people watching and voting were people who backed Israel or at least didn’t care one way or another.

This doesn't matter. It's a music contest. The boycott was still the right thing to do because it is just a show at the end of the day, and the viewing figures have more impact than the results.

But it is also a good object lesson to show you what happens if you boycott a vote over something that does matter. Choosing not to vote in, let's say, a presidential election will have similar results.

[sparrowlucero]

The greatest injustice ever faced is that I almost certainly started the still thriving "clown husbandry" tag on here, but any discussion about it (from a know your meme page to a youtube video with 500k views) says it's a joke of "unknown origin" or credited to this post, likely bouncing off of mine (which was actively circulating at the time with like 30k notes):

This is a tragedy for many reasons, most of all because it wasn't just an offhand joke but actually a direct response to some of the funniest online hate I ever got:

They're erasing the truest history of tumblr: its desperate need to seethe and argue over every obvious joke with more than 10 notes.

anyways here is the canonical pet clown. according to me

[gossippool]

*steeples hands under my chin like i'm sherlock* so you see,