#i think about deleting my blog and starting over so often it’s unreal. i don’t really like how big i am on here either | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

haynr · 6 years ago

Text

all blog info below the cut,

apologies now to my mobile users

RULES

Before we interact you must…

have a properly displayed muse

have easily accessible posted information regarding your muse in a section or page

have easily accessible posted rules / guidelines in a section or page

for AU’s, you must have posted information regarding your muse within the fandom universe in its own section or page

make sure I am following you

cut threads

I Won’t

roleplay sex, generally. there may be a few exceptions, but keep the standard that i probably won’t. sexual content, perhaps, if all muns involved are over 18. If we do, it is with the understanding muses involved will be aged up appropriately.

tolerate any sexual advances toward myself ooc

roleplay inserts

always follow back, nor will I follow personals

tolerate pressuring, be it to rp in general or consistent pestering to answer threads

answer everything in my inbox. It’s not often I ignore asks, but I won’t answer something if it violates my rules. If I have difficulty answering something, I will privately message senders or make public inquires about anonymous messages.

follow everyone back / interact with everyone, even if you technically follow all my rules. i’m selective.

Please Don’t:

reblog meme asks. I don’t mind this so much, but it keeps things cleaner when they’re moved to a new post.

reblog inbox answers for non starter memes. examples would be mun opinions and the like but extend to headcanons and other writing. violators will be asked to delete the post and may be blocked.

reblog threads you are not a part of. warnings will be given to violating rp blogs, but personals will be instantly blocked.

reblog personal posts, especial images of myself. violators will be instantly blocked. this means anything tagged ooc.

force ships with me. I am a p easy going shipper, but I will be a bit more restrictive with Hayner. most of it has to do with his muse in general. he’s not thinking about romance atm. if it comes up in plot, great. if it doesn’t, you’re more than welcome to put it forward, but please do not expect me to go along with it. on that note, don’t expect me to always agree with your interpretations of my muse in ships. ideas and suggestions are fine, your own take is fine, but i cannot stress enough, please do not push hcs.

I am open to

multiple threads

duplicates of other muses (i do not rp duplicates of my own muse, but I usually have other muses in the fandom which I will be more than happy to interact with there, no twins etc)

shipping, though I will be highly selective, possibly exclusive. I will not instant ship, but I don’t mind developing our muses’ relationship privately over DMs.

mutli verse and/or polyshipping as befits all the muses and muns involved

rping toxic relationships of any sort, will be tagged accordingly and placed under cuts.

angst and/or triggering threads, though I would prefer to discuss the thread and tagging beforehand

crack threads

select AUs

ask/tagged initiated threads/starters but I ask for some warning if they are not from a meme or other prompt

responses of any length, so long as it is enough to reasonably work with for the pace of our thread

group threads

generally questionable plots. regardless of whether or not I approve of such practices ooc isn’t usually relevant. this is fictional, exploration of an idea– not a real-world execution of that idea. Feel free to DM for details.

Please Also Note:

I do not require length to be matched and may not always match partner’s length. I will respond as much as I feel I am able to or that I feel is necessary.

If my response is inadequate, difficult to respond to, or otherwise distasteful, FEEL FREE to ask me to redo my response.

Understand that my selectivity will depend on my comfort level and that I am not obligated to explain myself.

I tag all my threads as “thread”

I tag my partner’s url

if partner’s url changes, I will tag both old and new urls for the first response then only the new url going forward.

I generally tag triggers as “trigger tw”. same with general cw’s. i’m not the best with tagging, so let me know if I should watch for stuff in particular

my activity is generally a joke, but I’m constantly lurking, so feel free to drop a message

I am incredibly anxious. It doesn’t matter if we have late night conversations for like a month straight i will still be afraid to talk to you every. single. time. so always feel free to come whack me on the head or smth

while I can be very laid back / crack-ish, I do prefer to explore darker themes and my thread responses are much more serious than I come off as.

Blacklisted / Ask to Tag:

food

nsfw (for general safe scrolling, just let me know what your tag is since t simply wont show not safe for wombats content anymore)

“little space” related

“daddy,” “mommy,” etc

literally anything in this vein. in the vaguest, most removed sense. idc what you tag it. either let me know or just tag it “jade don’t look” whatever.

in fact feel free to tag any and all of these as just “jade don’t look” or some variant.

a/o/b related

anything pregnancy related

vivid depiction of sensory / memory alteration (particularly in images, but not excluded to)

unreality (also especially, but not limited to, images)

Of course I can’t require people tag these, but I will most likely not follow you if your post these regularly and do not have some warning which will be picked up by blacklist applications.

In regards to the sensory alteration, I mean things like seeing/hearing/etc things that aren’t there, mis-remembering or outright tampering with memory, etc. It’s kind of situation to situation on what gets me, but when it does it tends to hit me pretty hard. If you have any questions about it, fire away! [ example text post ]

On unreality, this somewhat relates to the above, I use this as a catch all phrase for images, vivid descriptions, and most especially videos/gifs of things that basically don’t behave or seem to behave as they should. Sometimes, I’ve seen these things tagged as “trippy” and the like, but they those posts tend to be too…idk how to put it. Extra? What tends to get me is when things are going fairly linear and then suddenly go for a loop. That’s not the greatest description, but here’s a few posts that have triggered me the worst that I’ve slowly gotten used to. There are also things which should seem fine or normal but aren’t. If anyone has a better description for this, by all means let me know! example posts [ one ] / [ two ] / [ three ] + a weird image that also gets me for some reason. hmvent is actually a blog I use to store things that trigger me so I can slowly get used to them or try and figure out what it is / why these things get to me.

META

Hayner is a young lad who resides in the sleepy Twilight Town. He is described as “impulsive and determined, and is always looking for a new adventure. He is bold to the point of recklessness…He gets bored easily during uneventful times… also easily angered/irked…thirsts for some kind of recognition…” During the events of KHII, he is 15, the same as Roxas/Sora. He has deep brown eyes, dirty blond hair and is a bit tall and, while still skinny, muscular for his age. He is the leader of his quartet trio including Pence, Olette and Roxas himself.

While he does have parents, he’s rather distant from them. While he does receive support from his folks, they were just never really there. Because of this, his loyalties lie greatly with his chosen family, his friends. He considers it his duty to help, lead and, if needed, protect them, even if he’d never admit as much even to himself. If any of his actions or ideas end up hurting someone he cares about, he takes it very much to heart, often beating himself up about it for weeks and weeks after.

Hayner, despite his hotheadedness and brashness, is a very observant leader. His tough guy act, while not entirely based on this, is partially to build himself up, make other less inclined to pick fights with him and his friends. Whether or not this works out, however, is certainly debatable. He also does his best to incorporate his friends’ wants and needs– or at least what he perceives these as– into his plans.

As oblivious as he may seem, he is quite mindful of the people around him. Whether it’s picking out the shady figure on that street corner or this one, or noticing some random kid’s not having a good day - he sees a lot of it, but often it doesn’t strike as a huge priority. He thinks things through a lot more than he’s credited for, but unfortunately, he doesn’t go through the whole process before starting his plan of action.

Hayner also isn’t exactly the most social person. He is outgoing and nice to people out of politeness and giving people the benefit of the doubt, but as a whole he’d much rather just stick with his friends. The only exception to this has been Sora, as he feels a “familiar vibe” about him, and therefore is also open to his circle of friends.

A couple more misc hcs below:

Is a very exceptional swordsman (at least with the training swords). However, his skills do not seem as outstanding compared to that of Roxas and other more major characters.

As much as he hates school, his best subject science. And although one would think he’d be a good athlete because he is competitive, he actually doesn’t have good PE grades because he doesn’t try if he doesn’t have to. The only way to get him to really participate is to make it a competition.

MORE WILL BE ADDED MARCH, 2019 TO INCLUDE SPOILERS FOR KH3

AU Info will be added shortly.

#mobile rules #about blog #psa

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amwritingmeta · 7 years ago

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Hey, I really like your stuff, and I was just wondering whether or not you read Dean as having BPD? (btw i will 100% respect your interpretation either way so don't worry about hurting my feelings or anything. ily)

Hello, my love! You’ve waited for an age and I apologise, but this, as I can tell you were aware when you asked it, is a heavy question, so I wanted to take my time, read up on BPD and mull it over in my head for a bit before replying. I love questions like this, though, so I hope you didn’t think I’d just deleted it (because never). :)

So, with my non-existent psychology degree kept firmly at the back of your mind (meaning I’m in no way qualified to diagnose anyone but I feel like I’ve spent enough time with Dean Winchester to make a fairly educated estimation of his character), I’ll start with a simplified summary of what BPD actually is:

Borderline Personality Disorder is signified by emotional instability, which leads to an unstable self-image and self-destructive behaviour that more often than not wreaks havoc on the sufferer maintaining any type of long term and fulfilling relationship - romantic, platonic and familial alike.

Stolen from the internet–>

Other signs or symptoms may include:

Efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, such as rapidly initiating intimate (physical or emotional) relationships or cutting off communication with someone in anticipation of being abandoned

A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often swinging from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)

Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self

Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating. Please note: If these behaviors occur primarily during a period of elevated mood or energy, they may be signs of a mood disorder—not borderline personality disorder

Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days

Chronic feelings of emptiness

Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger

Difficulty trusting, which is sometimes accompanied by irrational fear of other people’s intentions

Feelings of dissociation, such as feeling cut off from oneself, seeing oneself from outside one’s body, or feelings of unreality

Now, I cut a few points off this list because there’s a lot here already, but I read through and yes, absolutely, most of this fits with Dean’s characteristics: he has abandonment issues, trust issues, a highly distorted sense of self, he’s impulsive as fuck and engages in dangerous behaviours on a daily basis (though obviously not reckless driving because um no) (unless he’s pissed off at Cas of course), he’s absolutely battled with listlessness and a feeling of emptiness, hopelessness, his whole life (given to us through how he’s been so convinced of going out in a blaze of glory and not believing he has a future) and he’s had a motor in him that’s been fuelled by rage for a very long time (but that’s dissipating now).

All of these traits are a part of him, his character makeup, and they’re what make him human, because they’re what has made him flawed and in need of this journey he’s been on, right? Yes, indeed. It’s been one long awesome hazardous gruelling journey of self-exploration for Dean Winchester.

But do I believe it all chalks up to him suffering from BPD?

No, I don’t. Because look at how extreme this list is and compare it to Dean’s character traits, which seem almost wishy-washy in comparison. Well, they do! I mean, Dean Winchester is one tortured human being who carries with him baggage so heavy it’s probably not carried anymore, it’s on a dozen of those hotel wheel-y cart things that they put the thousand bags on when foreign dignitaries or douchebag millionaires (sorry rich folks I’m putting you in a box right now) arrive with their entire life in suitcases. Dean has earned fucking bellboy help with his luggage is what he’s earned.

But he’s functional. In fact, he believes himself to be so in control of his own emotions that he’s taken the excruciatingly obvious need he’s developed of masking his actual personality and convinced himself he’s actually using a healthy coping mechanism called “sublimation”. He knows what he’s doing, but he refuses to dig deeper than necessary, so he’s masked his unhealthy coping mechanism by calling it by the name of a healthy one. (sorry son but then Cas came in and ripped all of that right up didn’t he?) (yes he did)

Dean has been suppressing his true identity because of his toxic habit of dressing himself in armour he was taught how to put on and convinced he needed to wear in order to serve and protect, and he is such a control freak that of course he was always going to find a way of convincing himself that this mask he wears is completely by choice, because the fear that’s the real reason he’s wearing it - that lack of self-worth breeding his conviction he’s really poison leading to believing that of course he’ll die young - well, that’s all too raw to ever poke at. And believe me when I tell you I could write another fifteen pages on all of this, and most likely I will, but there are others that undoubtedly have already - including myself in other posts on this blog - so I’ll leave it for now.

Thank FUCK for S13, is all I can say. And thank fuck for Cas and his glorious provisions of motivation for Dean to finally begin to learn those valuable fucking lessons and seeing through his own mask this season and the bullshit of why he ever put it on.

So, then. There you have my answer, which in short is no to the Dean having BPD, but here with an added bit of an elaboration as to why. Feel free to drop me another line if you still feel the subject remains unclear in any way! I truly hope I didn’t offend! And ily2!!

Thanks for asking! :)

#answered asks #dean winchester #bpd

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