#i am so embarrassed to ask this online | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brokenstar-s · 1 year

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Heyyy anyone who has read my writing if you ever had a favorite line would you mind sharing it to me?

(Have a thing I have to do and rereading through my stuff to find some sections to display)

#i am so embarrassed to ask this online #im sorry if this is cringe look away #im desperate #i forgot how much I write and how little time i have TmT #if anyone helps out I will be so greatful i will be ur new freind xD

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crushedsweets · 5 months

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Why are your sweets crushed

Cuz my online name is sucker and I feel like the personification of a red lollipop(specifically these heart ones OR a strawberry dumdum) and I thought if it was crushed it would be cute for creepypasta vibes

#it was unfortunately NOT cool #just had an embarrassing conversation about my online name…. RIP #asks #so I guess I am the crushed sweet…?

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bilestat · 3 months

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insane how quickly something small can tank my mood

#i am so tired of being cut off when i’m talking #esp when someone doesn’t even care enough to realize i was over halfway through a sentence #and doesn’t ask what i was saying #or when they just make it incredibly obvious they weren’t paying attention or outright don’t care what i’m talking about #even when i’m talking super excitedly #it makes me feel so fucking small and unimportant #like yeah i guess the shit i say doesn’t matter 99% of the time but it matters to ME #but it hurts so bad when i get cut off only for someone else to say stuff entirely unrelated #and to then just like. stream of consciousness ramble every thought that enters their head #like okay. cool. awesome. alright #my mom does that all the time i’ll be telling her something and then i’ll get cut off or she’ll wait til i’m done #to out of nowhere start telling me super in depth life histories of people she hasn’t seen since she was a child. or people i don’t know.#and it’ll always be so in depth about so many people idk OR so fucking vague i get confused as hell #in the typical boomer just needs to talk at someone or hear their own voice way (sorry ily mom)#and i know i can go on for ages about fandom shit that confuses her or she doesn’t know about but #idk. i do not have much else in my life right now. and i only have her and my sibling and very very few friends that aren’t online #and even irl friends i only see a couple times a year each if i’m lucky #i just hate my life lol and i need to stop before i spiral #i have already gone on long enough and will be embarrassed when i come back to delete this because honestly who gives a shit #i need to get over myself #to be deleted #personal

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g0thsoojin · 2 months

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🦴

#im like very much having a crisis right now... i mean to most ppl it isnt that serious lmaoooo #but tbh i am a loser and tumblr is 80% of my life and most of my social life #all social interactions i get are on tumblr ._.#so i dont want to keep alienating myself on it because then im just ruining it for myself and removing the only place #and source of social interaction and attention :/#i personally can not for my life comprehend this because i really dont take other peoplës venting personally #but ever since i started using twitter and tumblr i have ruined so many connections .. by venting on my own account.....#and now.. when i lost and fucked it up with the love of my life... just bc i vented and he interpreted it from his pov..#and got hurt when i wrote things abt being lonely and unwanted WHILE talking to him everyday and having him call me beautiful and care abt m #... i understand why he got hurt and i understand his pov bc it looked like i pulled away and distanced myself and only complained and that #he didnt matter to me when in fact he was EVERYTHING to me and i lived off his attention #i hate that i ruined the best thing i could ever have just bc i have this pathological need to share my every thought #like shut the fuck up... i wish i wouldve shut the fuck up and instead gushed abt how much i liked him which was what i wanted to do #my avpd just made me feel stupid bc when i did he didnt interact with those posts and then i felt embarrassed #which like i know how fucking stupid avpd and bpd makes me and i hate it but i cant stop it #god i regret it so much like my dumb ass blog isnt worth losing him over... it just isnt #only an online connection.. makes it so hard to see bc he only saw my diary where i complain he didnt see everything else :(((#so he thought that he wasnt important to me and then slowly started to detach himself from me (understandably) god i wanna die #so yeah ive started to HATE my main account. bc it has ruined so much for me. plus lately ppl have started being mean #and i get it its the internet ppl suck but i AM so fkn sensitive. and i get sad and hurt really easily #and i feel anxious abt venting bc im scared of getting a mean ask after #like... i feel so fucking alone and idk what to do. all i want to do now is vent vent vent but ive started to feel like venting is bad #and harmful and only ruins my friendships and connections and makes ppl be mean to me #i honestly wish i wouldve stopped venting every thought looooong ago #and that i had a more normal blog and had a secret vent blog and that he didnt read all my miserable posts #bc then maybe.... he wouldve actually understood how much i fkn love him and hadnt looked in other places and now i lost him #bc i really dont blame him bc i know what he is struggling with and seeing me who he cares for so much say those things...#i get it 100% and thats why im so pissed with myself for just not stopping!!!! why cant i stop????? whats wrong with me #i just feel so lonely and like no ones listening but he was listening to me i just had to be brave and go to him #plus all my venting made him think that im like in severe emotional distress every second and that i was too fragile to talk to

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dandyshucks · 24 days

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i think pkmn sun is cheaper than moon in both ultra and regular so i'll probably get sun,, and then ummm just look at how much money i have from catsitting and how much money shipping will be and figure out if i can afford ultra or not,,, and then maybe learn emulators to play the regular version after i play ultra if i feel like i want more still fsdjfkl

#i am just so scared of getting scammed on ebay fsdjkl i am looking at reviews and trying to figure out who is legit and who is scammy #idk how often ppl get scammed w NDS games on here rly but like. good to be safe i suppose!#i could ask my brother who's an online seller enthusiast but im kind of embarrassed abt this and he's hard to talk to fdsjkl #and if im lucky irt shipping time... maybe i can receive the game before my parents even get back dsfjkl #and then i won't have to deal w getting hassled about receiving pakij..... hmmm i gotta move fast if i want to do that though #dandy.cmd

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elytrafemme · 2 months

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okay so yesterday i was like joyous and now today i want to kill myself so like either PMS is working its magic or job searching really is a one hit KO to the psyche

#suicide tw #i feel so fucking awful WHAT HAPPENED!!#there aren't any college jobs i qualify for and i am deeply privileged enough that i dont need a job #but not having a job is giving me like Substantial anxiety #i also just remembered i need a uni job because it's involved in like. something i'm doing. like so it would suck if i didn't have one #so now i'm like looking up online remote editing jobs because sure i can do that. doesnt help the Intiative but whatever. but like #that's obviously not yielding much results because i'm not sure what to search for #and i am too embarrassed to ask anybody because i kind of stumbled onto my last and only job and have been floundering since #also like yesterday i was joyous on this site and now i'm like relentlessly sad so i don't know what's going on

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rotisseries · 4 months

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are you ever gonna post about stranger things and byler again

idk? probably, if it grabs my interest again? stranger things is a family tv show in my house and has been a long term sleeper agent interest for me so I know I'll most likely be watching the 5th season and ill care again. I just fell out of it last year, most fixations only last a year for me anyway before I lose enthusiasm (until there's new content) and also 2022 was my first active participation fandom experience, and it shows, and it was overall an at times extremely questionable experience 😭😭😭😭 so I got great friends out of it but now I feel Weird about it. so

#it wasn't a particularly horrible fandom experience as far as they objectively go like I have heard way worse horror stories #but it was my first time actively participating and I absolutely needed to touch grass #+ I often interacted with people who needed to touch grass. so it's just like. extremely embarrassing I don't want to remember I was there #the fact so many of you who followed me back then are still here though is really funny. was it truly my winning personality #anyway yeah can't make promises #but also saying “no never again cause i was cringe and I kept involving myself in stupid drama” is somehow worse #like am I really gonna let my old chronically online behavior run my life. shut up #I'll definitely at least post a “we won”#honestly I'd like to nancy post more. if I get back into st I should be a nancy blogger she's forever an amazing character #ask #anon

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

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Uh oh back to my roommates telling me concernedly "hey I haven't seen you in a while"

#im not even isolating now im actually talking to people way more than normal lately #just online friends #and so i end up being in my room with the door closed all day #but also i have agoraphobia and social anxiety so bad that sometimes i just cant even leave my room #i will literally listen to my roommates footsteps and bedroom doors and shit just to make sure #i dont accidentally run into them when i dont want to #i feel so anxious talking to them even though we're basically familyyl #'basically family' yeah maybe thats why i avoid them :(#the fact that this has happened more than once though where people i *literally live with*#will bring up how they havent really seen me in weeks and ask if im okay (i never am but yknow)#idk. it feels so embarrassing. i wish i was normal

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kirexa · 9 months

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There's a lot of things that if you guys knew you would probably yell at me abt

#not in a mental health related way just generally #i sat through one of my finals doing absolutely nothing the whole time because i had no idea what i was supposed to do and was too #embarrassed to ask.. i genuinely listened and really tried to figure out what i was supposed to to but the intructions just made no sense in #my mind. and everyone else just knew what we were supposed to do so i didnt ask and tried to figure it out but there was no online instructi #ons at all #......this was in the class i had a 0 in #i try i just dont understand anything and its rly upsetting #im so worried about how this will effect me in the future.....#im getting taken out of that class thank fuck but. i really am worried.#and to get taken out of that class one of my classes need to be moved and its the only class i share with any of my friends and i dont want #to have no friends in any of my classes #....the problem here probly lies in the fact that i only have 2 people i would really call friends in the same grade and not class structure #ive been trying to make friends since the start of school but im too scared to and everyone already seems to know someone else and i dont #know how to make more friends...#im not shy with absolute strangers rhat i have no intentions to interact with again so why am i so scared to make friends #sorry this got really venty #kirexa vents

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pepprs · 2 years

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idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#delete later #im getting a taste of my own medicine bc when im overwhelmed depressed etc i don’t even open emails or dms or whatever and then ifeel guilty #and let them build up and run away from them and literally do not reply for years. but ive been waiting for like 5 different but related #replies for 3ish days at this point and im soooooo impatient omg i want to bash my head into the wall.. and afaik no one i messaged has #opened the message despite being active online elsewhere which is EXACTLY what i do so i have no right to complain at all. but still. omggg #i just have a simple question (me and the ps5 voice) reply to my message boy #purrs #also.. ok yeah im gonna be honest about it even if there are consequences lol. idk why im on such a mission to get back all my old #characters but if i don’t i can and will go crazy. i don’t even do that kind of thing anymore and d*viantart is an irreversibly warped #landscape due in part to capitalism and in part to own mistakes and selfish actions. and i truly feel like my tumblr mutuals are the only #ones who understand me and feel safe and cozy on here. but i miss my old internet home. and i really miss my old internet friends and seeing #all the jokes we had and how we were all like interconnected w the same adopt groups and stuff and now we don’t even talk… it makes me so #sad and i feel weird messaging them just for the purpose of asking if they can give me back characters i gave them 4 years ago like a) you j #just don’t do that kind of thing i don’t think but b) it feels so transactional and would make the part of saying hey our friendship was #important to me when i was a teenager and even though we don’t talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i #feel cringe even tracking them down / messaging them bc we are all jn our 20s now… embarrassing. but i am so mad at myself for letting those #friendships wither (not that i have the spoons to sustain them these days anyway but still) and for not keeping bettr track of my characters #when i sold them and for giving them up in the first place and for letting my old internet life just fall apart due to neglect bc it puts me #in a bind to try to piece it together again no matter how i try it and i shouldn’t try anyway. but i am so tempted to rn. lol #* itd make saying stuff abt appreciating friendship weird bc there’s a transaction tied in (source: i did this and feel weird and bad)#like the way i want to SCREAM seeing that dA ate all of the journals i made when i was a 14 year old and turned them into glitched polls. th #the way the wayback machine has terrible unreliable records of everything and i can never get some stuff back / track some stuff down. pain #anyways it’s stupid bc i feel cozy and listened to and as connected as i have the energy to be to all of u guys so why am i doing this. but #i miss the dA stuff too and i wish it wasn’t cringe and i wish i could have everything that’s ever been part of me all in one place. lol #also this doesn’t even take into account my poetry community on dA on my other account who i also felt so safe and cozy with and i abandoned #that too and lost touch with basically everyone even though we all knew each others deepest secrets for years.. the heartsickness of it all #anyways mutuals who knew me on deviantart i am clutching both your hands with impassioned urgency and kissing u on the cheeks. that’s all

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toadallytickles · 2 years

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There’s SEVERAL reasons why we think so! It’s something that has been brought up in conversation from time to time 😅

We think you’d be an incredibly fun and energetic person in general, which we love of course, but we ALSO have always been a huge fan of your content and the reactions you have in them. My partner and I have had sessions recently with other friends and it’s been an absolute blast. We also really admire your experience with tickling and think us giving it our best shot against you would undoubtedly be memorable 😌

Oh my goodness.. maybe I shouldn’t have asked because now I’m all shy and flustered.. ahh~ (〃^▽^〃)ゞ also I get brought up? Multiple Times?? Verbally? In-person?? SSHH-

This is so sweet and lovely! Thank you so much for sharing!! 🥰 And thank you for enjoying my content! I’m so happy to hear! Also awesome you have local kink friends to play with! That is what I’m seeking! If our paths ever cross and we get to meet, I would LOVE to connect and have a session with you both! That would be awesome to make this come true! ❤️

#welp I’m already excited even tho you’re anonymous asfkllgjk!!#i was hanging out with local community friends over the weekend. we still discuss how surreal it is to be fans of each other online and #dreaming of meeting them- and then you eventually do and you’re actually good friends now?? like how crazy and wonderfull #wonderful* gd #can I wear a blindfold so I don’t have to look at you both because I’ll be big embarrassed 🥹#WHY AM I NERVOUS ITS JUST AN ASK OMG #(you can say no I don’t wear one because I like mean :) )#oh but you see I can be stiff and awkward during the first sessions.. guess you’ll just have to play with me more and then I’ll be more #susceptible and you know what breaks me~ 🤭💕#‘remember that time we destroyed Toad~?’ b y e ♡#my posts #answered #ask #gang tickles #tickle community #tickles

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kimmkitsuragi · 1 year

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oooooh gomens s2 watch party with my frend tmrw 🥺

#she has nooooo idea #i even asked her did u see any spoilers #and she just said i just understand it has a controversial ending????? lol #she has Nooooooo idea :^)#it will be fun even though i never did something like this online before #and i am a grandma living in a young adult body so i dont use discord it's embarrassing but it's ok #it doesn't matter that much i might just be awkward for the first half of the first episode lmao #after that im sure we will all just be screaming anyway #i feel like that meme where the man is looking out the window like ohohoho yesss oh yesss in a sicko way #🗒#btw impressive for MY standards that i waited 2 whole days for her to rewatch it lmao

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mayybirds · 2 years

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Wanted to update my profile description to reflect it but bc of adult life and chronic ADHD I often miss asks and don't catch that they came in for a few days (or weeks! I have the memory of a goldfish!!), but I'm always super excited to read them and do my best to answer them in a timely manner!! Pls never think if you send an ask and it takes me a while to get to it I didn't enjoy reading it! I am just a little bit dumb lol.

#I wanted to say this bc i realized some of these asks are from days ago!!#and i also know i've answered asks weeks late before and people have sent asks that didn't get answered...#I'm sure tumblr has eaten some but straight up sometimes i get an ask and don't notice and when it's like more than a few weeks old #i'm too embarrassed by Myself to respond bc it's so late lol. so i do have some old asks still in my inbox like #'is it weird to answer these six months late damn'#but know i am never annoyed by anyone's questions ever i promise!!#and if i don't get to something it's okay to resend the ask or DM me bc straight up #i have either forgotten or not seen it yet. so i appreciate reminders and am not offended #thought this was worth saying bc i'm adhd and autistic and i know how difficult it is to read online encounters sometimes #and the worry of having given offense somehow #i also worry about giving offense to my readers and askers hence. this. lol #Jackie's Propaganda #Through the Valley to Life

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jacks-and-graves · 3 months

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Can’t wait to go to spirit Halloween and get mistaken as an employee again this year.

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aeolianblues · 5 months

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being around party people when you’re not one will make you feel like the lamest piece of shit ever

#Ooh Rue no one’s forcing y— I live with them #I do not try to either be cool or uncool I just #Am not in that circle #They are lovely people but listen. They have known each other for five years #And me for 3.5 months #I cannot even try with this #I am not in that circle #But walking home when they have a party #Walking through that front door and up to my room is a walk of SHAME #and the coolest thing I could possibly have done will not make that less embarrassing #You cannot be cool when people only see you in your normal/uncool context #And you pretty much see them a lot in their cool context. It’s not fair #(Then again I’ve asked them if they wanna join me for stuff often but they’re either busy or have exams #so we’ve never hung out at my places. So I’m always the uncool one.)#I literally— today’s been a wild day. I got given a whole ass vinyl by a guy because I was cool #But I can STILL walk home an hour later and just feel like such a fucking loser #And the reason why will be that I don’t know their friends #And please please it is not their fault! They are so sweet they couldn’t be sweeter. It just is the way it is #That’s that #bit my god I think I’ll sleep before they get home today (the party’s moved out so I just got home to drink bottles)#I don’t want to do this #Either way we all move out this weekend so it’s ending #My tryst with an in crowd are over probably #Will continue living my extremely not-a-party-kid life #Are people in this world party people or non? It always just feels like I’m falling behind #But then you go online and everyone’s like ‘man I just want to watch movies and go to bed’#So what’s the truth

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swiftfootedachilles · 7 months

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genuine question indont care if this makes me sound crazy or like a stalker did creepkinginc change his username?? or did he block me too bc i cant find his blog and all the asks he sent to my blog i cant even see unless im logged out

#im actually crying lmao what did i do to have so many people who i considered FRIENDS block me #ive never had a negative interaction with his ever i was hoping he would send me more asks because i love talking to him about meta #and now i vant even see my own posts that are answering his asks??#like. ive never once been mean to him and i have NOTHING bad to say about him why am i blocked #i checked like a week ago because ive been paranoid that my online friends hate me and he was still in my followers/mutuals list #and now im crying in my bed over a short lived internet friendship while my parents fight downstairs #life is one big fucking circle and all i do is repeat being 14 over and over and over again #fucking. is this because i left the server bc it had nothing to do with him i loved interacting with him #whatever. im just gonna go sit in the shower for a while #this is so embarrassing man why does everyone hate me

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