#You cannot be cool when people only see you in your normal/uncool context
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being around party people when you’re not one will make you feel like the lamest piece of shit ever
#Ooh Rue no one’s forcing y— I live with them#I do not try to either be cool or uncool I just#Am not in that circle#They are lovely people but listen. They have known each other for five years#And me for 3.5 months#I cannot even try with this#I am not in that circle#But walking home when they have a party#Walking through that front door and up to my room is a walk of SHAME#and the coolest thing I could possibly have done will not make that less embarrassing#You cannot be cool when people only see you in your normal/uncool context#And you pretty much see them a lot in their cool context. It’s not fair#(Then again I’ve asked them if they wanna join me for stuff often but they’re either busy or have exams#so we’ve never hung out at my places. So I’m always the uncool one.)#I literally— today’s been a wild day. I got given a whole ass vinyl by a guy because I was cool#But I can STILL walk home an hour later and just feel like such a fucking loser#And the reason why will be that I don’t know their friends#And please please it is not their fault! They are so sweet they couldn’t be sweeter. It just is the way it is#That’s that#bit my god I think I’ll sleep before they get home today (the party’s moved out so I just got home to drink bottles)#I don’t want to do this#Either way we all move out this weekend so it’s ending#My tryst with an in crowd are over probably#Will continue living my extremely not-a-party-kid life#Are people in this world party people or non? It always just feels like I’m falling behind#But then you go online and everyone’s like ‘man I just want to watch movies and go to bed’#So what’s the truth
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