#fucking. is this because i left the server bc it had nothing to do with him i loved interacting with him

[swiftfootedachilles]

genuine question indont care if this makes me sound crazy or like a stalker did creepkinginc change his username?? or did he block me too bc i cant find his blog and all the asks he sent to my blog i cant even see unless im logged out

[mcytegg]

Ash: I genuinely don't understand why you left Lala, and then left the Foundation like immediately. It can't just be because Minute killed you, that makes no sense.

Ro: I wasn't wanted.

posting the clip bc it genuinely makes me feel unwell but i also want to yap abt how insane ash and ro's entire convo makes me feel. like in this clip alone, the silence from them BOTH after ro says he wasn't wanted was so loud.

cause like earlier in the vod ro tells zam that although ash was one of his day 1 teammates, it was more against his will then not. like he felt like it was forced and more like ash's underling then his teammate. so him not actually feeling like he was part of the lala legion was obviously an issue that had roots from the very start, and these feelings only worsened and grew until eventually he ended up leaving the team AND the foundation (who only made his feelings of being unwanted and unvalued as Himself worse) to join the players, who actually seemed to genuinely want him on their side.

even AFTER he fucks up massively and ends up accidentally killing bacon w the arrow cannon instead of literally any of their enemies, they still want him there. despite their frustration and anger at him, he is still someone they want by their side. they don't kick him from the team or kill him like the foundation did the moment he fucked up, they accepted that he made a dumbass mistake as Their teammate and they dealt w the consequences of it and figured things out together.

bc he was more than just another person fighting by their side!! hes an idiot but he is THEIR idiot teammate roshambogames who they wanted to fight alongside them and thats what mattered most to him. feeling accepted and cared for by the people intent on ending the server in spite of his flaws and mistakes meant so much more to him then being w the people trying to protect it who only rly saw him as what he could Provide for them as a spare loyal member of the team.

and ro's convo w ash rly only confirmed to him that he was never valued as anything more than another teammate in the lala legion or the foundation bc ash Immediately disregards ro's words and calls it bs. and whats crazy is that ro was incredibly confident and sure of himself during their convo until ash started digging into him— calling him selfish and nothing but a violent person looking for an excuse to kill people and cause chaos. ash never seems to actually Listen to what ro has to say, he hears what he wants to hear, he berates ro yet begs for him to come back in the same breath. it was only after ash began doing this that ro began ro falter and lose some of his confidence, and its after ro begins to sound more uncertain that zam immediately gets clown to message ro to get out of there.

i assume it was zam bc clown was too busy hunting jumper to pay attention to ro's yaps w ash, and bacon nd zam were both watching it go down. and after rejoining the call, ro almost immediately gets his confidence back and all of the uncertainty he began to show bc of ash's words went away. they found jumper very shortly after ro rejoins which is also when zam and bacon start encouraging ro and boosting his confidence as well, making sure that he feels just as valued as clown is in this fight.

which is very 🥹🥹🥹 bc i'm growing attached to the players in general but it also feeds into my love for drastics too bc it rly does confirm to me that zam is probably the person (behind mapicc ofc) who makes ro feel most confident and comfortable w himself bc he understands ro better than most, and makes the effort to support him in the ways he needs to be supported so he feels seen and cared for.

[bbyleiah]

'Miss Me?'- Geto Suguru

| The reader encounters mafia boss Geto who takes her into his home after an altercation. Despite Geto being a busy man, The two slowly fall in love as Geto develops a soft spot for her. |

Cw: Mafia Boss!Geto, black reader, heavy ddlg themes, a brief murder scene, pet names (princess, bun, bubs, sweetheart), praise, degradation, dirty talk, dry humping, scratching, hair pulling, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), missionary position, size difference, lots of fluids, !omorashi! (reader pees on Geto accidentally during sex 🫣), spitting (he spits in her mouth), begging, crying, pussy drunk Geto, Geto whining and whimpering a few times, reader calls him daddy a lot, Geto is filthy, etc.

word count : shorter than my usual fics 😭

sn : I wrote this fic for fun bc I was inspired and decided to post 🥹 there’s lots of cute moments and plot in this fic despite the wild smut 😭 read at ur own discretion 🤲🏾

Days became weeks as you waited for your boyfriend to come back home. You knew he was a busy man though and you always tried to be a good girl and be patient but you were growing restless. You were so attached to him and him being gone was starting to get to you. It also didn’t help that he lived a dangerous lifestyle so whenever you hadn’t heard from him in awhile you always assumed the worst.

Geto Suguru; your daddy, was the top mafia boss in central Japan. He was feared by all and everyone knew his name. Those who knew of him also knew of you and they knew to tread lightly around you unless they had a death wish. Geto was a very scary man, killing people without a second thought. He terrified you when the two of you first encountered but you somehow ended up being his biggest soft spot. His sweet girl that he’d die for in a heartbeat.

It all started when he stormed into your workplace a few years back. You were working at a small restaurant at that time, a mere server. You were just like any other employee, working for money to get by. The restaurant you worked at was a little off putting and it appeared that your manager was suspicious but you never thought much of it until Geto and his men barged in and got into a shootout with your boss.

“Fucking prick. You thought you could take money from me?. Now I’m going to take your pathetic life.” Geto said before he shot your manager right in the head. You screamed as the blood splattered on you from where you hid under one of the tables with a co-worker of yours. In that moment you thought you were gonna die too. All because you decided to work at some shitty restaurant.

“Yo boss, what should we do with the mutts?” A blonde haired guy asked as he grabbed you roughly. His hand gripped your face in a bruising grip as he held you up off the floor like you weighed nothing. You cried in pain and fear as you clawed at his hands for him to release you. Your co-worker was being held by her hair by an intimidating woman with brown hair.

The guy referred to as ‘boss’ observed you with a tilt of his head. You shivered under his deadly gaze, fear taking over you completely. He had the kind of aura that instantly made you want to submit to him in fear of what he’d do to you if he didn’t. He was dressed in a black button up with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and some black slacks. His raven colored hair was tied up in a bun with a few strands left out.

“Speak.” was all the man said to you and you were dumbfounded. Your doe eyes stared at him as you processed what he was asking of you. He was giving you a chance to plead your case. “I-I..please don’t kill me! I haven’t done anything wrong, I’ll forget about all of this! Just please let me go..” you begged as you cried. Geto rubbed the butt of his gun against his chin as he contemplated your pleas.

He then told your co-worker to speak as well but you guess they had the wrong response because he told the woman to kill her before your co-worker could even finish speaking. You flinched at the loud gunshot and sobbed as you closed your eyes. “Clean her up and let her go.” The man stated, pointing at you before walking away. The blonde groaned in annoyance and dropped you.

“Why do I always have to babysit?” He muttered as he led you out of the restaurant. He brought you to a secluded very expensive beautiful home that you later found out the ‘boss’ man owned. The maid servants there got you cleaned up and even fed you which you were grateful for. “Alright mutt, where do you live so I can get rid of you now?” The blonde questioned you once you were settled.

You stayed silent, just staring at him. You decided not to speak because you were afraid but also because you truly had no place to go to. The place you slept at was the little apartment that resided above the restaurant and was given to you by your manager. Now that the restaurant building had been torn apart though, you were essentially homeless. “Silent treatment, huh?” He chuckled. “Well you can be quiet all you want but boss won’t spare you again if you don’t comply.” He warned you.

You chewed on your bottom lip as you debated your response, “I have nowhere to go..” you told him honestly. He sighed hearing that, running a hand down his face in irritation. “You should’ve just died then instead of begging to live.” He tsked while shaking his head. Those words hit you hard, bringing tears to your eyes. “Boss will figure out what to do with you.” He said and left you be.

Gojo talked with Geto about you and your circumstance and it was oddly decided that you’d stay in Geto’s house until you found your own place. This arrangement only worked because Geto was never home. It took you awhile to realize that. In the beginnings of living with him, you avoided the scary man like he was the plague. But when you began to notice his frequent disappearances or his late arrivals in the middle of the night it piqued your curiosity.

You found out through the maids what his name was. “The boss is the most dangerous man in Japan. You’re lucky he let you survive sweetie because he doesn’t do that unless he sees something in a person.” Your favorite maid; Maya, told you as you ate breakfast. “What’s his name? I’ve never had a conversation with him to ask..” you asked once you realized you truly had never conversed with the man. “Geto Suguru. Mr.Suguru. Don’t refer to him by his name though or you might end up dead.” She informed you.

You nodded in understanding as you memorized his name but not too much so you wouldn’t say it even on accident. The first real interaction you had with Geto was when he came home one night to find you fast asleep on his couch. You woke up to him standing over you and you screamed as you sat up. He was completely unphased and not startled at all by your scream which was even more unsettling. “They just left you here? No one took you to your bedroom?” He asked you.

You shook your head, “no..i chose to sleep here so it’s not their responsibility..” you replied softly. “Why did you choose to sleep here though? Aren’t you uncomfy?” He continued. You didn’t understand why he was so concerned with you sleeping on the couch. “I’m not uncomfy, I fell asleep because I got really cozy earlier. Do you want me to not sleep here? I’m sorry if I wasn’t allowed to.” You began to ramble as you stood up, tripping over your feet a little.

“No no, you can do whatever you want.” He told you, and even he seemed a little surprised by his words. “Oh!..okay.” You were surprised at him being so lenient and nice since you’d only heard the bad things about him but you appreciated his kindness. “Have you eaten?” He asked. You nodded, “mhm! Maya made my favorite pancakes earlier, the ones with strawberries and whipped cream on top!” You told him excitedly as you smiled at the memory.

Despite Geto thinking you looked adorable as fuck at the moment, he frowned. “Pancakes for dinner?. That’s not good. You shouldn’t eat sweets so late. I’ll tell Maya to not make them any time after 3pm.” He said and your eyes widened. “B-But they’re my favorite!” You pouted. “and I said no sweets for dinner. Understood?.” The tone he used now sent a shiver down your spine. “Yes sir..” you complied, knowing that he meant what he said.

“Good girl.” The words slipped out before he could even think. You blushed hearing them, not used to such praise. He cleared his throat, “Its late. Go sleep some more, in your bed this time.” He told you. You had no complaints since you were still sleepy. “Okay, goodnight sugu- I mean! sir!” You quickly corrected yourself before you rushed off to your bedroom. Geto heard you about to say his name and oddly enough he didn’t mind it. He found your little panic cute though.

That was the last time you and Geto had spoken for awhile since he had gotten busy again after that interaction. Little did you know though, Geto constantly kept tabs on you. He was always asking gojo and his house staff about you and how you were doing. He didn’t appear to care much on the outside but he did have a little concern over you. The next time the two of you spoke was a lot less casual.

You had gotten hurt because you fell off a chair while trying to stand on it to reach something. Surprisingly to everyone; Geto rushed home to check on you after hearing the news of your sprained ankle. “Are you okay? Does it hurt a lot?” He asked you as he sat down with you and grabbed your leg to inspect your ankle. You nodded, still sniffling and teary eyed from the fall. “It hurts a lot.” You hiccuped.

Geto frowned, “You need to be more careful. Don’t ever climb something like that again. Understood?” He told you. “Y-Yes sir” you sniffled with a pout. “Boss she’s just being dramatic, it’s just sore. She’ll walk it off in a few days.” Gojo dismissed the whole thing. You were getting tired of him and his harsh comments. You glared at him which didn’t phase him at all because your glare looked more like puppy dog eyes. You then took it upon yourself to throw a pillow at his face which caught him off guard.

“Meanie” you huffed as you crossed your arms. Everyone in the staff witnessed this and couldn’t help but laugh, stifling their laughter behind their hands. Even Geto was holding back a laugh as he bit down on his lip. Geto rarely ever smiled or laughed so that left Gojo flabbergasted seeing his boss so amused. “This is some bullshit. I’m tired of this little girl boss.” Gojo expressed, irritated. “I’m tired of you too! ugly face! You should cover all of it, not just your eyes!” You spat back.

“You’re childish and a waste of time. Pesky little girl.” Gojo insulted you back. “and you’re a big meanie! Mean people are ugly! You should be fired” You huffed. Geto chuckled at the two of you, “You think I should fire him, sweet girl?” Geto hummed with amusement as he gently caressed your ankle. You nodded, “mhm! he isn’t good at his job.” You stated. Gojo was dumbfounded that his boss was even entertaining you. “Hm, well since you say so I might just consider it.” Geto chuckled.

Gojo’s eyes widened, “Boss..” he trailed off. “Go somewhere and make yourself useful. Now.” Geto told Gojo as he looked at him with a deadly stare. “Yes sir!” He quickly complied before rushing off. Geto wasn’t actually going to fire Gojo, he could never get rid of his best man. But, he knew Gojo was being unkind to you and he wasn’t going to let that slide. “Come on, let’s get you in bed. No more walking for you, okay?. If I find out you got up on this foot, you’re gonna be in big trouble. Understood?” Geto said to you as he picked you up.

You squeaked in surprise when he suddenly picked you up. “Yes s-“ you started but he cut you off. “Don’t call me sir. You’re not one of my staff so you don’t have to call me that.” He said as he carried you upstairs. “Oh..what should I call you then..?” You asked shyly as your fingers played with the collar of Geto’s shirt. “You can call me by my name if you’d like.” He hummed. “I heard it was bad to say your name though..” you uttered.

“Yeah? Well I’m the boss and I said you can. Everyone in this house obeys me and me only. So what I say stands.” He said as he looked into your eyes. “O-Okay..Suguru~” You mumbled shyly. He grinned, “Good girl.” He praised as he gave your thighs a light squeeze. You blushed deeply, completely flustered as you hid your face in his neck. From then on, you and Geto developed a close relationship.

Everyone couldn’t believe that Geto allowed you to freely say his name. They also were stunned at seeing their cruel boss being sweet to someone for once. The moment the relationship between the two of you turned into something more intimate was when you caught a cold and got sick. Geto was away when he heard the news and he ordered that you’d stay in his bedroom and sleep there until he got back.

The staff took great care of you as they awaited Geto’s arrival. “Sweetheart~” Geto called out softly once he finally got back home after a long day. You were curled up in the center of his bed looking so adorable and also really sick. “Geto..” you whined as your eyes slowly opened to see him approaching you. “Awh, baby got sick. Do you feel a little better now? I told my staff to give you the best care.” He cooed as he placed his hand on your forehead to check your temperature.

You nodded slowly, “mhm, I feel a little better. The staff are really nice to me, even gojo was nice this time.” You told him with a small smile. He chuckled, “That’s good to hear, bun.” He hummed as he admired you fondly. “Missed you..” you muttered out as your small hand moved to hold his. Geto felt his heart swell hearing that. “You did?. I missed you too sweet girl. More than you know.” He said honestly as he caressed your hand with his thumb.

“Come on, let’s give you a bath so we can get rid of those germs.” He said as he picked you up and began carrying you to his bathroom. You snuggled into his hold, curious eyes looking around since this was your first time in Geto’s bedroom. It was told to you that no one was ever allowed in Geto’s room so you felt special at the moment. Reality hit you once Geto had the bath all set and he began to look at you expectedly. “I-I..urm..” you stuttered out shyly as you grew flustered.

“Want me to cover my eyes?” He asked you. “Yes please!” You didn’t hesitate to say. Geto was amused at how adorably shy you were but he understood your wishes so he covered his eyes. You then took your clothes off before slipping into the warm bubble bath. You let out a sigh of contentment as you relaxed fully. “You can uncover them now.” You told him. Geto hadn’t had anyone tell him what to do in awhile and the fact that it was a cute thing like you of all people made him feel soft, but in the best way possible.

Geto was deeply unprepared for the sight of you naked in his bathtub. He couldn’t see much due to all the bubbles covering you up, but it sure did have his imagination running rampant. Geto stood there just staring at you for longer than he intended to until you snapped him out of his filthy thoughts. “Geto?” You called out. “Sorry bubs. Got lost in thought.” He cleared his throat. Geto then rolled up his sleeves and began washing you up. You melted into his soothing touch as he gently cleaned you up with care.

Geto tried to keep his thoughts as pure as possible as his hands felt all of your curves and dips. He let you dry yourself off once the bath finished and told you to go wear something from his closet while he drained the tub. You were in awe as you looked around his big fancy walk in closet. Everything in it was so ‘manly’ and you loved it. You settled for one of his white button up shirts and climbed back into his bed once you were dressed.

You put a show on Geto’s tv as you waited for him to get out of the shower. He had his hair down when he came out dressed in a t-shirt and some sweatpants. You gawked at the sight of him and his pretty hair, “Your hair is really pretty.” You complimented him honestly. “Aw, thanks bun.” He chuckled as he tied his hair up in a half up half down style. “Why don’t you wear it down more often?” You asked him as you watched him climb into bed beside you. “Too much of a hassle. It gets in the way, you know?” He explained.

You nodded in understanding. “Well I think I like it most when your hair is down” you declared with a smile. “Is that so?” He chuckled. “I should wear down more often then, just for you.” He mused and you giggled. “I’d like that~” you grinned. The two of you got comfy in bed and talked until you fell asleep. You somehow ended up falling asleep on top of Geto, not that he minded at all. He wrapped his strong arms around you and placed a kiss on your forehead.

Geto constantly felt the urge to kiss those pretty plump lips of yours but he fought against it. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. You felt so warm and safe in Geto’s hold, it was the best sleep you’d had in awhile. You woke up the next morning to some rustling around. “Sugu?” You called out sleepily as you rubbed your eyes. “Go back to sleep bubs, it’s early and you need to rest.” He told you softly. “But where are you going?” You asked as your eyes finally cleared up to see him getting dressed.

You let out a soft gasp seeing that he was shirtless. He had on dress pants that were unbuttoned still, allowing you to see his briefs and a glimpse of his dick imprint. His hair was also down, falling over his shoulders as he got ready. You peeked shamelessly at him from above the blankets. You quickly hid your eager eyes once he directed his attention on you though. “Why are you hiding bun? You can stare at me if you want.” Geto chuckled as he walked over to the bed.

Geto then climbed over top of you, hovering over you as he pulled the blankets away from your eyes. “You feeling better?” He asked you. “mhm, are you leaving again?” You asked him. “Got some business I need to handle sweetheart.” He told you as he cupped the side of your face. You pouted, “You’re always leaving. Do you really have to go?” Your precious doe eyes almost made him fold. “I do really have to go but I’ll be back soon, I promise” he hummed.

“You’re gonna be good for me until I get back, right?” He said as his thumb swiped over your bottom lip, his eyes seemingly fixed on your mouth. You were flustered, “Y-Yes..I’ll be good.” You reassured. “Good girl, always so sweet for me.” He cooed. “Geto..” you whined. “What did I say to call me when we’re alone?” He questioned you. You knew your ears had to be red by now. “D-Daddy~” you muttered shyly, completely embarrassed.

It was a few weeks ago when Geto told you to address him as ‘daddy’ but he never gave you an explicit reason why. “Good girl” he said before he kissed you, making your eyes widen. The last thing you expected was for him to kiss you. You whined and tried to push him away, “Daddy no, ‘m sick.” You reminded him. “It’s okay bubs, daddy is strong. I won’t get sick.” He hummed and continued to kiss you. He kept alternating between full on eating your face and then pecking your lips repeatedly.

It seemed he really enjoyed kissing you. You enjoyed it just as much, wrapping your arms around his neck as you kissed him back. You let out cute little whines and mewls into the kisses that drove Geto crazy. “Fuck..you’re gonna make daddy late princess.” Geto sighed as his trailed kisses down your neck. “Daddy should stay home with me” You tried to persuade him as you ran your fingers through his hair. “I want to baby..trust me I do. But daddy’s work is very serious and I’m the boss so I have to be there.” He explained.

His actions were betraying his words though because he moved to get underneath the covers with you, gripping your thighs as he positioned himself between your legs. “b-but ah—“ your words got cut off due to a moan you let out once you felt Geto start to grind his hard cock against your cunt. “no buts. Daddy has to work in order to keep his princess safe.” He grunted as he rutted against you. He could feel how your cunt progressively got wetter, creating a wet spot on his briefs.

“shit..I wanna fuck your cute little cunt so bad, sweet girl.” He panted into your neck. You whined, back arching slightly as your hips pushed back against his. You attempted to match his pace but you were failing miserably. “n-nasty daddy.” You whimpered. The moment got terribly interrupted by an obnoxious knock at Geto’s bedroom door. “Yo boss! Hurry up, we don’t have time to waste! I know you didn’t oversleep.” Gojo yelled from outside the door. Geto groaned in annoyance.

“I’m coming! shithead..” Geto yelled back. “sorry bun, daddy’s gotta go now.” He sighed and kissed your pouty lips. “When are you gonna be back?” You asked him as you watched him get up and finish getting dressed. “Don’t know baby..but I’ll try to come back as soon as possible.” He said as he tied his hair up in its signature bun and tucked in his shirt. Geto didn’t bother changing his pants and briefs despite your slick that was still seeped into them.

“Bye sweetie.” He said as he kissed you one last time. “Bye bye daddy~” you waved as you watched him leave. From that moment on you became Geto’s girl and he made sure everyone knew it too. The staff was unsurprised though because they noticed their boss grow a soft spot for you. Geto having to ‘take care of business’ is what had you sulking now in present time. He’d been gone for almost a month now. It’s the longest he’d been away in years.

You were lounging on the couch when you heard the door open and you rushed to see if it was Geto, only to see Gojo. “Well don’t look so disappointed. Aren’t I your second favorite person?” He teased as he laughed. “Shut up. You could’ve stayed gone forever.” You huffed. “Aw, hurts to hear you be so mean cutie. I taught you that?” He chuckled as he patted your head. You slapped his hand away since he was touching your fresh box braids.

“How come you’re here and he isn’t? Aren’t you two attached by the hip?” You pouted. Gojo shrugged, “Boss said he had some other stuff to take care of, he should be here by tonight though.” He said. “Really?” You perked up excitedly. “Yes really.” He chuckled. “You’ve been crying over him haven’t you?” He teased. “No I didn’t..” you attempted to lie but it was obvious. “Crybaby. Geto isn’t even that great.” He laughed. “Yes he is!” You defended as you stomped your small foot.

Gojo cooed, “Everyday I realize more and more why boss likes you so much, you’re just so darn cute.” He smiled honestly as he pinched your cheeks. You squirmed and giggled, you were flattered since it was rare that Gojo complimented you. “Sugu is gonna kill you for touching me.” You teased. “Shh, don’t tell him.” Gojo entertained your antics, though he knew those words somewhat rung true. Geto was serious about no one touching his princess.

“Wanna know a secret?” He whispered suddenly and you eagerly nodded. You leaned in close, gojo leaning down to your height to tell you the discreet information. “Geto has been missing you a lot, I’ve never seen him so mushy and sappy before. He brought you up allll the time. He said he was gonna die if he didn’t come back home to you soon.” Gojo whispered. Your eyes widened at the information, it made you happy to know that Geto missed you just as much as you missed him.

“Sugu can’t die though, I’ll be really sad.” You pouted. “Don’t worry, boss is literally immortal somehow.” He laughed honestly. “Oh! and he’s also been kinda a perv. he’d definitely kill me for telling you this..but he was super stressed you know? and then he kept going on about wanting to fuck you and feel your cunt squeezing him..it was hard to listen to.” He told you, seemingly cringing as he remembered his boss’s rambling. You blushed hearing the additional secret, getting shy as you hid your face in your hands.

“Sugu likes to say icky stuff sometimes..” you muttered, flustered. “Oh please don’t act like you don’t enjoy it.” He cackled as he teased you. You whined and pushed him away, “I do not!” you huffed in embarrassment. “Mhm whatever you say princess.” He chuckled. “Now go make yourself busy, I have important things to do as well.” He hummed. “I didn’t want to stay and talk to you anyways.” You giggled as you skipped away. “Ouch, that one hurt.” He said as he dramatically placed his hand over his heart.

Since you knew your daddy was actually coming home tonight, you wanted to make yourself look pretty for him. You started off with doing your makeup. You decided to keep it simple so you did a simple eye look with cute pink hearts for decoration. You contemplated what to wear for awhile until you settled on a white silk dress with a bow in the back. You paired the dress with lacy thigh high socks. You were happy with your look as you twirled while looking at yourself in the mirror.

You sprayed on your favorite perfume and then kept yourself busy as you waited for Geto to get home. You did your usual hobbies of reading, drawing, and watching tv but you couldn’t help the way your eyes constantly checked the clock. Your energy depleted the later the day got and by the time it was 10pm you were getting teary eyed. You got lost in how sad you were, fully prepared to sob that you didn’t hear the door opening behind you. “Miss me?”

You suddenly heard Geto’s voice and you immediately perked up and looked to see him standing there with flowers and a box of chocolates in his hand. “Sugu!” You cried as you ran and jumped into his arms. “oof, I don’t remember you being this heavy baby” he teased as he held you and kissed your forehead. “Why are you crying bun?” He asked you softly as he carried you back to the couch. “I missed you, thought you weren’t comin’ home today.” You sniffled.

“Awh, princess I couldn’t wait to come back home to see you. I just got a little busy.” He hummed as he sat down on the couch with you on his lap. “I got you some treats though” he smiled as he handed you the chocolates. You excitedly opened them up and began eating them immediately. He chuckled, “you and that damn sweet tooth. It’s too late to be eating sweets but since you’ve been good you deserve it.” He cooed as he wiped the tears from your soft cheeks.

“You look pretty bubs” he complimented once he got a really good look at your whole ensemble. “wanted to look pretty f’r daddy.” You muffled around a piece of chocolate. “You always look pretty, my pretty girl. So beautiful and all mine” he flattered you and you giggled. “thank you daddy” you said softly with a grin. A comfortable silence took over as Geto just admired you, content and happy to just be in your presence again. His hands caressing your thighs in a soothing motion.

You just sat there happy as ever, eating your chocolates without a single thought in your head. “I missed you so so much baby..” Geto suddenly sighed as he buried his face in your neck. “mm, you smell good sweetheart” he breathed you in. You giggled, “that tickles” you told him as you squirmed a little. He breathed out a small laugh, “sorry baby. Daddy just needs to feel you against him right now.” He muttered into your skin as he closed his eyes.

Your hands moved to play in Geto’s hair, running your fingers through it and scratching at his nape. He let out a faint moan in content at the feeling. You were happy to be pleasing him so much, feeling him completely relaxed against you. You took his hair tie out so his hair could be fully down just the way you liked it. “feels so good baby..” he mumbled into your neck. You giggled, “I like making daddy feel good” you said honestly with pride.

You felt geto squeeze lightly at your hips after you said that. You began to tug at his hair as you played with it and you felt him tense up a bit. “do you like it more when I pull it or when I scratch?” you asked him, completely innocent. You were truly just genuinely curious but you were oblivious to how you were affecting Geto. “both feels great baby..” he sighed. “Okay~” you giggled. You then continued to do both happily until you felt Geto’s dick poking against your thigh.

“daddy…you’re hard..” you muttered out as you froze. “mm, daddy’s cock missed you and your sweet cunt bubs.” He said as he pulled you even closer so that you sat directly on top of his throbbing cock. You whined and squirmed. “you gonna be a good princess for daddy and let him stuff your cute hole?” He hummed as he looked at you. “because daddy needs it..needs it really bad. You wanna make me feel good, don’t you bun?” He continued as he began to kiss up your neck.

You nodded, “m-mhm, I wanna make you feel good” you breathed out softly. “Good girl” He praised before he suddenly flipped you over onto your back on the couch. You gasped and didn’t have much time to process before Geto was ripping your panties off. “so pretty” he groaned as he spread your lips with his fingers to get a good look at your cunt. He then spit on your cunt and dragged his fingers through your slit. You whined, “f-filthy daddy” you stuttered out as you tried to close your legs.

Geto was quick to slap your thigh, causing you to let out a sob. “Don’t fucking close them or else you’re gonna get punished. Understood?” He threatened. This Geto reminded you a lot of his terrifying demeanor when you first met him and it had you spooked. But this time it had you scared in a good way. “Y-Yes daddy” you responded obediently, just like Geto liked. “Good, because daddy has zero patience right now and you’re gonna take whatever is given to you like a good slut.” He said as he lowered his face down in between your legs.

Geto rubbed circles into your clit, mixing his saliva in with your slick as he watched you squirm and kick your legs. You were always so sensitive and Geto loved it. He groaned at the taste of you as he ran his tongue along your pussy, your juices coating his tongue and driving him crazy. After that he was eating you out like a man starved. He gripped your thighs so tight to the point it hurt as his tongue lapped at your cunt repeatedly.

Usually Geto was more precise and took his time when he ate you out but he was too greedy for you to do that this time. Drool pooling from the corners of his mouth and onto your wet cunt as he ate you out sloppily. “s’ too much! d-daddy!” you squealed as you cried out and tugged at his hair. Your incessant tugging at his hair only fueled him on more as he sucked harshly at your clit. “taste so fucking good baby, ugh daddy could eat you up all day.” He moaned as he swirled his tongue around your clit.

“love this sweet pussy so much” he muttered against your cunt as he kissed it with his drool and cum slicked lips. Geto slid his two fingers into you, spreading them and curling them inside you until you sobbed and scratched at his shoulders. “there you go, falling apart so prettily for me sweetheart” he cooed as he thrusted his fingers into you while his thumb played with your clit. “s-sugu! I-I’m gonna-“ you wailed before you squirted all over Geto’s hand and his face, soaking the couch underneath you.

Geto moaned at the sight, “making such a fucking mess, sensitive bitch always coming so damn quick” he degraded and you whimpered. His fingers never ceased their movements, continuously fucking into you as gushed nonstop around his thick fingers. “Tell daddy that you’re sorry for making a mess.” He demanded as he slapped your pussy three times. The wet smacks sounding throughout the living room as you cried and your back arched.

“I-I’m sorry daddy” you sniffled. “For?” He prodded with a sadistic grin. “F-For making a big mess..” you continued as you looked at him with your big teary eyes. “Good girl” he praised as he slurped up your juices filthily. He didn’t want to waste a drop as he lapped up your mess while his fingers continued thrusting into your fluttering hole. “so fucking wet for me” he sighed in satisfaction as he listened to the squelching of your cunt. “Daddy’s cock is gonna slide right in, hm?” He said and you instantly shook your head.

“s’ too big” you moaned out honestly. Geto chuckled, “you can take it though. Your daddy’s big girl, right? made just for my cock.” He encouraged as he suckled at your clit before biting down on it. You cried out at the feeling, your hands attempting to push Geto’s head away. “hurts’ daddy” you whined. “stop that shit.” He tutted as he pushed your hands away. “you’re acting like a spoiled whiny bitch. take what’s given to you like a good whore or you won’t get to cum again.” He stated as his dark eyes looked up at you with that stern expression.

You pouted, lip quivering as tears fell down your cheeks. You nodded in response to him and he tsked in disapproval, his fingers stilling as they pressed against your sweet spot that had your legs trembling. “use your words or I’ll stop right here.” He said as he looked at you expectantly. The next whine you let out sounded carnal, all high pitched and pathetic as you tried to move against his stilled fingers to feel any friction against that spot that craved it so desperately. “y-yes daddy! -ah please! please!” You sobbed.

“My good girl” he grinned, pleased with your begging as he began to move his fingers again. He gave you exactly what you wanted, his fingers abusing that sensitive spot that had your cunt spasming and dripping all over his hand. “Want you to cum again for daddy, you can do that right sweetie?” He requested as his fingers continued their assault on your fluttering pussy. You nodded, “m-mhm! baby can do that!” you moaned.

Your hips pressed back against Geto’s fingers, matching his pace as you desperately chased your second orgasm. “fuck..you’re filthy. So eager and willing to please. Just a cock hungry slut.” He groaned as he watched you fuck yourself on his fingers, your fluids seeping through the cracks of his fingers and running down his wrist. “O-Only for daddy” you whined as you felt that knot build up in your stomach again. Your back arching and your nails digging into the couch cushions for dear life.

Once that seam burst Geto was quick to drink you up, tongue laid out and ready to taste your juices. He never got tired of tasting you, moaning into your pussy as he slurped up your new mess. You just laid there whining and twitching, already spent and stimulated. Geto was far from done with you though. “Tapping out baby?” He chuckled as he saw your fucked out face, eyes already fluttered closed. You nodded slowly, “‘m too sensitive daddy” you whined softly.

“Awh, that’s cute. I just got you all ready for my cock though sweet girl.” He cooed as he unbuckled his belt. That sound sent shivers down your spine. You whimpered and tried weakly to crawl away only for Geto to grab your legs and pull you right back. “Aht aht, can’t have that baby. Daddy waited too long to feel your pretty pussy around his cock.” He hummed as he finished undressing. His cock was throbbing and red at the tip, precum dripping down the sides of it.

You whined at the sight of it, your pussy clenching in need despite how overly stimulated you already were. A gasp left your throat when Geto began to rub his swollen tip through your slit. Your eyes rolling back and Geto groaning into your ear. “Fucks sake..this pussy is gonna be the death of me..” he muttered as he panted against your dewy skin. He took off your dress so he could see you fully. You looked unreal underneath him, almost too beautiful for his eyes. “What did I ever do to deserve a beautiful woman like you..”

You blushed at his genuine words, “I love you daddy” you told him with a smile. “I love you too little bun” he smiled back and kissed you softly. That was the extent of softness you were gonna get for awhile because now that Geto had you all relaxed he started pushing his cock head into you, stretching out your tight cunt as you cried out and whimpered. Your nails dragged down Geto’s back leaving red trails as you felt his thick cock pushing into your poor sensitive cunt. Geto gritted his teeth, groaning carnally as he felt your sloppy soft walls mold around his dick.

Geto paused once he fully bottomed out, being kind enough to allow you to adjust. “Tell me when..” he grunted out. He was like a wild animal waiting to be set loose and you had full control over him at the moment. Watching the heavy rise and fall of his chest as he breathed but also seeming as if he was holding his breath, the way his hands gripped your thighs so painfully tight to leave prints of his hands, the way his hair fell in his face as he stared down at you with a gaze that seemed as if he wanted to eat you alive.

It only took a minute or so for you to adjust and you could see Geto getting antsy. Biting down on his lower lip and trying to stop himself from rutting and grinding into you, failing miserably at times. You let out a shaky breath and opened your mouth to tell him to start and as soon as you uttered the first syllable, he started to pound into you. He didn’t waste a single second, not even letting you say the full word. You turned into a moaning screaming mess as Geto pounded into you mercilessly.

“my fucking pussy, feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock princess.” He growled as he thrusted into you hard and fast, fucking you like it was the last time he’d ever get to. He started kissing and sucking on your tits as he fucked into you, leaving pretty red and purple marks as he panted and drooled against your brown skin. The head of his cock was beating your cervix up, hitting it hard each time he slammed into you. It hurt so bad in the best way possible. You were wailing, hiccuping and creaming around Geto’s dick.

“Little pussy’s just eating my dick up -shit ngh—feel me all deep in your guts princess? pressing up against your womb?” He gritted as he watched the way his cock slammed in and out of your abused pussy over and over again. The little sputters of fluids your cunt released, forming a creamy ring around his dick and dripping down to his balls that were clapping against the cusp of your cute ass. “fuckk such a pretty fucktoy all for me..ugh ngh uh” he moaned as his eyes rolled back slightly. He was getting lost in the feeling of your gummy walls squeezing his cock.

“Daddy’s gonna fill you up so much bun, have this cute tummy all full of my cum” he moaned as he pressed his hand down on your lower abdomen making you squeal and your legs shake. You tried to push his hand away feebly because something didn’t feel right. “w-wait! daddy!” You babbled out, sobbing as you shook your head. Geto didn’t listen to any of it, grabbing your hands and using his free hand to pin them over top of your head. “I told you to stop that shit” he growled as he continued to pound into you animalistically with his hand pressing harder against your abdomen.

“b-but Sugu!” You screamed but it was too late and you were crying and pissing all over Geto’s cock. “Oh fuck..” he trailed off, watching in shock as he felt the warm liquid pour out and soak the coach and his cock. You were completely embarrassed, face flushed as you sniffed and sobbed. “shh shh, it’s okay baby -ah shit..” he tried to comfort you, moaning still because despite the piss his hips never ceased their movements. He was still fucking into you as if nothing happened. In his mind all it did was make his dick slide into you easier.

“n-nasty daddy..daddy’s -mfph nasty..” you whimpered with a hiccup. “love this sweet cunt too much to stop…fuck you really pissed all over me..fucking filthy -uh mm filthy fucking little girl” he groaned into your mouth as he kissed you and continued fucking your wet sloppy cunt. It was so wet now that his dick slipped out, making him lose his momentum but he didn’t waste a second to slide right back in. “It slides in so easy now bun, you should piss on me every time” he joked, chuckling breathily against your lips.

He slid his tongue into your mouth, kissing you messily as the two of you fucked like rabbits. “Open..” he muttered and you instantly obeyed, opening your mouth wide for him to spit onto your waiting tongue. You moaned at the lewd gesture, Geto licking into your mouth afterwards. “Good fucking girl.” He praised as he raised your legs up higher until you were completely folded up. Now fucking into you at deeper angle that had you seeing stars. You were so far gone now, just babbling and making pathetic noises with your eyes rolled back.

Geto was just as gone as you were. His hair damp and sticking to his sweaty form, cock throbbing and spurting precum into you, moaning and groaning nonstop as he used your cunt like his personal flesh toy, drool leaking from the corners of his mouth, scratches and bite marks from you marking his skin. “That’s right, just lay there and fucking take it. Just like you’re supposed to. Made just for my cock. Who owns you?” He was rambling now, completely pussy drunk as he obliterated your cunt with his thick cock.

“‘m daddy’s girl..g-geto owns me..” you managed to stutter out, the words choked up in moans and sobs. “mhm, all fucking mine.” He huffed as his hand wrapped around your throat. “shittt daddy’s gonna cum baby —ngh mfph..” he moaned, his pace somehow quickening as he felt his orgasm approaching. “Gonna milk daddy’s cock? hm?” He panted and you nodded. “n-need it -ah uhn wan’ it daddy” you whined out as you tried to fuck back against Geto’s cock. You couldn’t match his pace at all but it drove Geto crazy to see you trying to fuck yourself on him.

“fucking hell..if you keep doing that I’m gonna bust baby..” he mumbled, his words ending off in almost a whimper as his eyes fixated on the sight of you desperately trying to fuck him back. He even slowed his pace down just to accommodate yours. The two of you perfectly in sync while fucking each other. The position and the pacing made it so the head of his cock perfectly grinded up against your g-spot, making your toes curl as you whined out Geto’s name. “d-deeper daddy~” you begged and geto gladly obliged, shoving his cock deeper into your greedy hole.

“mm s’ feels so g-good daddy..” you whined breathily. Geto was the fucked out one now, groaning and whimpering as he let you fuck yourself on him. Cunt clenching around him just right and making him lose his mind. “cum’n me -heh uhn please daddy..” you babbled as you rutted against Geto, twitching as your clit bumped against his abdomen. That was all it took for Geto to snap, moaning out as he came deep inside you. Rope after rope of his thick warm semen filling up your cunt that milked it all up.

“s-shit…” geto whined pathetically into your neck as he came nonstop, his cum seeping out the sides of where his cock plugged you up. Your body trembled at the feeling, cumming soon after and adding to the huge mess of fluids as you creamed on Geto’s dick. The both of you were breathing heavily as you came down from your climaxes. Geto’s heavy body laid on top of you, practically crushing you but you didn’t mind it because he was so warm. You were trying your best not to fall unconscious, eyelids heavy and fighting to close.

“You okay baby bun?” Geto asked you after awhile of comfortable silence. “mhm..” was all you could muster out. Geto was satisfied with the reply though, climbing off of you and pulling his cock out with a small hiss. He was just as sensitive as you now. He whistled once he got a good look of the mess that was made on the couch, “well shit..I’ll just get the maids to clean it..” he muttered. Geto then got in between your legs and began to clean you up, eating the mixture of fluids out of your pussy.

He truly was filthy and you secretly loved it. You squirmed as he did it but you didn’t have any more energy to stop him. Once he was satisfied with it he stopped and then moved to kiss you, spitting the frothy fluids into your mouth as the two of you kissed sloppily. You swallowed it and Geto smiled. “Missed you so much bubs” he reminded once again before he began to affectionately peck all over your face.

[commic-jester]

i was talking about this in a discord server with a few friends earlier but i wanted to say it here bc it’s something i see a lot.

warning for a whole ass essay bc aoyagi toya makes me fucking insane

FOR CONTEXT: i just recently finished reading toya’s 4th focus event “the first concerto” and it fucked me up a little bit and i want to talk about the aoyagis as a whole

ok so first of all. something i see a lot in this fandom is the narrative that harumichi is this monstrous figure who wants nothing but to hurt toya in any way he can. and… that’s not necessarily true.

harumichi aoyagi is not a good person nor is he a good father. he has extremely high and unrealistic expectations for toya and his brothers, and he forces those expectations onto his sons without a second thought because that’s what he’s used to.

harumichi aoyagi also doesn’t hate toya like some of the fandom seems to think. even if he has a really, really terrible way of showing it, harumichi does care about toya’s wellbeing. otherwise, he wouldn’t have come up to check on him when he heard him yell, and he wouldn’t have encouraged him to continue writing music because he realizes how important this is to toya.

he ackowledges that the life he forced toya into was not the life he wished for. he knows that toya resents him at least a little bit for those days, and while he doesn’t outright apologize, he is trying to make up for it by attending vbs’s performances and giving toya music advice (in the most backhanded way possible, but he’s trying, ok?)

to re-clarify, i am not defending harumichi. i wholeheartedly believe that he is a terrible person and a terrible father to toya, and frankly i fucking hate the man. but i also realize there’s ✨nuance���(prsk fandom’s least favorite word)

second, i want to talk about toya’s relationship with classical music. this section is going to be slightly shorter because i don’t have much to talk about but i still think it’s interesting

toya says himself in chapter 7 that he never really hated classical music itself. in chapter 6 he describes his first experience with it as “beautiful” and “mysterious”. in a flashback scene in chapter 7, harumichi tries to end practice only for toya to ask him to let him play it again, because he doesn’t think he did the piece justice.

i have no doubt in my mind that if toya had been given a choice, he would have continued to pursue classical music. but because harumichi was so pressuring and had such high expectations for him, toya began to resent it because he associated the piano and everything revolving around it with pain, because that’s all he ever experienced with it.

finally, i want to talk about why i think harumichi is the way he is. this is purely speculation because we know little to nothing about toya’s brothers, but i think harumichi acts the way he does towards toya because he has never experienced outright rebellion before.

the only thing we know about toya’s brothers is that they are still playing and performing classical music around the world, particularly in germany. with this information we can infer that they never outright rebelled against harumichi because they didn’t realize that was an option, or because they genuinely enjoyed classical music, who knows?

but now that toya has outright said that he doesn’t want this, he’s never wanted this, street music is what makes him happy, and has actively confronted him for these things, harumichi is kind of left floundering. he doesn’t know how to respond to that, because it’s never happened. so his first instinct is to lash out in turn. to act hostile and cold towards toya because in his mind, toya is doing the same to him.

also, harumichi admits that he was disappointed in toya for abandoning classical music. i feel like some of his actions could be stemming from that disappointment.

TLDR: i don’t think harumichi is as outright cruel as people make him out to be. i believe he sucks, and is a terrible person and father with unrealistic expectations and standards, but he does care about toya’s wellbeing. and even if it’s slowly and in the most backhanded way possible, he is trying to make up for it.

overall, i think it’s very interesting to explore the dynamics between the “bad” parents and their children, because there is so much to unpack there and i think it’s very worth it if the fandom would just bother to read the stories. harumichi is So well written even if i want to punt him into the fucking sun.

side note: this is still fucking insane however

[royjamieism]

omg please spill more of the tea. ive disliked the perverse server ever since nearly all the members of a different, mostly sfw roy/jamie server flocked over there instead and left us with a barren wasteland with hardly any life and conversations remaining

(i'm exaggerating, part of it is that this show has been over for 18+ months and people lose interest and move on but also. our server was never the same afterwards, we didn't really recover)

omg im so sorry for what tip did to your server bc your server was the first royjamie server i ever joined and you were all very friendly and it was a nice intro to the fandom. i really wish that had never happened to your community

ill tell you one of the things that pissed me the fuck off the most

i got fired from being a mod because chell and two other white mods were uncomfortable with me calling something they were doing out as racist (i was the only mod of color). one of these mods was upset that i named that i was a person of color while trying to explain my perspective bc it made her feel like "her voice did not matter as a white person," something i never implied

the two other white mods were allies to me though; they both eventually stepped down due to being unable to tolerate the racist/ableist/generally insane and controlling environment. and being bullied out lol

the first one who stepped down did so due to harassments and alienation from the mod group for being my friend and ally to me in some conversations about race and policing. they were pressured into stepping down because they were constantly criticized for being, and i quote, "too emotional"

when their mother had literally just passed two weeks earlier.

chells beef was that they were too emotional while trying to advocate for me as a person of color in the racist tip server modding environment when they were literally GRIEVING…... i was also constantly criticized for being "too emotional" something that definitely had nothing to do w me being a trans person of color at all huh

the other ally mod has stepped down as of this morning. the tip/this is perverse mod team as it stands is just garbage

[snekkyfics]

so i've been getting more into hermitcraft/traffic bc of my brother and ALSO i just needed something to write bc I'm trying to form a habit and writing something weird that I will never finish is better than not writing at all

worldbuilding notes at the end

~~~

And the universe said I love you

No. Not to Philza. If there was anyone the universe hated-

And the universe said you have played the Game well

He hasn’t- he couldn’t. If he had played the Game- games – well he wouldn’t be standing here. Sword and bow and golden apples and everything a player wishes they could have when they started anew.

It’s nothing Phil wants. It’s nothing Philza would need. He enjoys clawing creation and achievement from the untouched earth the intended – ancient – way. It is life to him but not anymore.

Standing here, at what’s left of that hallowed little world spawn, that one innate weak spot in the Code, isn’t even anything so dignified as to be called retreat.

This is escape.

And the universe said everything you need is within you

Oh by the gods, oh by Her let that be true. He’s not made a life for himself by breaking the Game – the Code. And at least not without accomplices, friends, an invitation to wear like a badge of protection as he did what no non-player, godling or not, was ever meant to do.

Server-hopping without a hub stop is hard enough, taboo even for Players. Phil...

Phil is risking a lot. A potential hundred thousand eyes. A war. Just to escape this hell-spawn server.

And Dream’s gone now, so is that damned Novellus he let lock and rule the server. Peaceful times are sure to visit now, he could stay on in that little cabin in Her forest and it’d be a hell of a lot safer than trying to leave with no real destination in mind.

But Wilbur’s gone now. And so is Ranboo. And Niki. And Fundy. And Techno’s fucked off – he’s sure to return, but for now he’s fucked off all the same.

Phil’s been sitting in a cold cabin, counting his own heartbeat for weeks now. There’s nothing- nothing left here. Not for him.

Leaving – risking what he will risk – could never be crueler than an empty meeting room and silent pine and a bag of cookies so long gone stale in a chest somewhere-

In spite of himself, Phil distantly hopes beyond hope that he can find Wilbur again- hold him again, maybe – that maybe just once the universe will love him-

And the universe said you are not alone

He’s not- not ever, in a way. And may She curse him it’s not enough anymore. She can be fickle, like that. Or perhaps killing a god, inconsequential as they may be, upset the cosmic balance enough for Her to abandon the server – and him.

But in no small part is he setting out to find Her, to hear Her voice again – he may have begged and screamed and taken apart Her forest, a gift willingly given – but the his determination now and his vitriol then are guided by the same, deep, ache.

If it is in Her power, let his aim be true.

By Death and Blood and Sea and Sky and Void, let him touch the grass somewhere he can take roots and grow again, where he can feel dirt and rock once more under his fingernails and be alone and at peace.

And the universe said I love you because you are love

The universe does not love him. And Philza is not love. He’s never had the chance to read the poem – no matter if he shredded the Code with his bare hands, it is not meant for him – but it is a strange comfort, another shameful hope.

He’s heard them talk about it, players hardly need to be prompted to recount the peace, the motivation, the joy at hearing the ‘voice of the universe.’

And well, Phil supposes he could use a bit of all three right now.

And the universe said the darkness you fight is within you

If he were still young enough to be sentimental, he might take one last look around at this thrice-damned server. But he’s not and he doesn’t. He knows who he loves – his wife, his son, Techno, a handful of others – and they are not here. Beyond that, it is only the material, and the material never lasted long enough to matter.

Instead he prays, he pray harder than he can call to memory, to whatever half-friendly god’s name comes to mind, as he folds one last bit of arcane magic around his wedding band and torn wings and begins to reach deep, deep, deep into the white-hot Code-

And then he’s gone. Into the horrible not-Void between worlds and high above the true darkness and Her-

And then he’s scrabbling along the walls. frantic, desperate, reaching back as often as he dares to make sure his precious, precious inventory is coming with him, but never more for a second as he clips small errors in the Code – entry to a new world – again and again and failing, failing each time to grab hold-

He’s taking too long, he’s reached too far, he’s going to fall and there are far more unkind things in the Void than there is Her-

Someone is going to see, he needs somewhere- anywhere-

Eyes graze his back, distant and barely there but Phil’s sure and he’s slipping and-

One last reach, hard and forceful and fuck the whole cosmic world much see him right now but it doesn’t matter because he touches something and grabs and pulls-

Back, back through burning Code and Walls and all the things that he was never meant to touch or understand or breach and oh does it always bring Phil a rush of euphoria each time he so blatantly shoves a fuck you to the little manufactured gods of the Players-

And then he lands. Hard enough to bring him to his hands first and then onto his stomach, jaw rattling and legs screaming.

-but he is warm. There is- there is sun above him, and grass below him, and he smells dirt and open air and there’s fucking birdsong-

And he holds his breath and waits, clinging to his blessedly heavy inventory and the shrouds of magic he tries to pull tighter around himself.

If he was seen – if they actually saw him and who he was – surely, surely they would come. Surely-

They have have arrived by now. Surely. Surely.

But it stays quiet. Nothing but the birdsong and the wind in the leaves and Phil barks out the ugliest, roughest laugh of his life.

It worked. Oh, something out there must love him, if only the little bit it took to get him here.

New. Bright. And there’s soft dirt and grass under his fingernails as he pushes himself to his feet, looking around at the warm, untouched welcome of his new world spawn. Still gossamer and perfect and waiting for him-

And oh, maybe he is a touch sentimental. Maybe he will end up building something here, just to remember how wonderful it is to feel warm and hope again-

Then there’s the snap of a branch. Footfalls, heavy enough that Phil doesn’t think before summoning his bow to his hands, doesn’t wait for a rattle or a groan before spinning around-

-and looks down his arrow at a man. Short and unarmored and a Player-

“What the hell-”

Surprise may have loosened Phil’s fingers, but it is something deeper, something akin to the pulse-racing instinctual need to survive that steadies his hand and aim and puts an arrow through the throat of the- the Player-

-who gurgles and rasps and falls back, eyes blown wide with shock and fear and pain and dying, frozen in place as the blood seeps from the sucking wound and his mouth-

-and Phil, who is equally frozen, stuck staring at the Player on his world-

-but it’s not his world, not if there’s a Player - oh fuck, Players, are there more of them-

This was supposed to be escape, not- not-

Phil can only watch the man, dark and bloody and scared and hope beyond fucking reason for this one boon, this one chance-

He finds himself coming closer, contemplating sticking another arrow between the man’s eyes if only to find out sooner, although that same anxiety also stays his hand as he crouches down next to the dying man.

Phil’s- well, Phil’s a bit experienced with death. Another shallow breath, a few fluttering heartbeats, that’s all this man has left. Bleeding out all over the brilliant green grass and still staring at Phil with a fearful befuddlement that might tug at the heartstrings of anyone else.

And, predictably, in the next moment, he’s gone. The light out in his eyes and fully slumped on the ground.

And then he’s gone. Dissolving in strings of Code and leaving the remnants of an inventory behind.

And Phil- Phil’s holding his breath again, and not so much praying but begging, begging just for this-

He can always feel his connection to Her. He has always felt the little somber tug whenever someone truly dies. Well- when a Player gets sent to their hub.

If Phil has Death here, if he has meaning, he has a chance.

But the tug never comes. And Phil’s mouth goes dry, and the warmth disappears, and the Player is waking up in their bed and Phil is-

Phil is fucked.

It’s a very numb sort of battle-instinct that has Phil reaching out around the fading cold of the Player’s communicator, soon to fade back to their side, and it’s already ephemeral in his shaking hands as he hurries to check the chat log even as the screen drips away into Code-

[server] BDoubleO100 was slain by P⍑/~⍑/ꖎ/-ᔑ

And the universe said you are not separate from every other thing

~~~

"oh how original DSMP x hermitcraft" um actually yeah I'm picking on philza for this and also Techno but only kinda bc once again: i will never finish this

however I am VERY open to writing different assorted scenes if this gets any interest

anyway anyway WORLDBUILDING UNDER THE READMORE ALSO POTENTIAL SCENES I MIGHT RIGHT IF PEOPLE ARE INTERESTED

with special note to @/aard_rinn over on Ao3 who inspired both this story and some of the worldbuilding

ANYWAY basically my MC worldbuilding as a whole for fics comes from the idea that the in-universe lord of minecraft all took place long before it was wrangled into a game for Players (<- more on them in a sec). The Ancient Civilization and the ruin of the Nether and the Ancient Cities all happened long before the Devs made the post-apocalypse into the Game made specifically for Players

Its not clear where Players came from (or where any life came from) but they are the Devs' favorites. the entire Game is tailored to them. Players can hop between worlds, alter Code, and respawn. All Players were originally human, but due to gene-mixing with npc hybrids a Player can now look like just about anything

NPCs, who are any sort of non-human non-Player, are the same level of sapient BUT have none of the world-hopping-death-defying perks of being a Player. Death is final for them and world-hopping is both nearly impossible for them and generally frowned upon by the Game's design. They CAN however have babies with Players and all children of Players inherit the Player status, which is why we see both hybrid players and hybrid players who are only a "little bit" a hybrid

Phil and Techno are not Players. they are about as 100% avian and piglin as you can get. They are, however, hand-picked by Primordial gods

Gods have basically three classes. You have the Primordials (Lady Death, the Sky Gods, Totem Magic), which have existed WAYYYY before the Ancient Civilization even. You have the Novellus (Watchers, XD, the general fuckery on Empires) who are "natural" (not Game-made) gods attracted to the Game after it's creation (there were no Watchers back when there was nothing to watch). And then you have the Devs, who hold all the real power over the Game. And all three classes h a t e each other. The Primordials hate the Devs for "defiling" their world and attracting the Novellus and the Novellus hate the Devs and Primordials for hindering their fun and the Devs hate both because they interfere with their Game but aren't powerful enough to actually kill them.

And by association the Devs also hate Techno and Phil for using their godly powers to do things they should not be able to do. They can't die (although they also can't escape a world by dying), and they can world hop by calling upon powers older than the Game and Code and also they can just generally call on powers older than the Game and Code. This makes them a cog in the Devs' machine but they can't really do much to stop them without starting a war that they might not win, so they grumble, and would DEFINITELY start some shit if emduo ever did what Phil does do in this ficlet (not only hopped, but hacked a server), but have generally allowed them to live their little troubled lives

(and yes, if they had ever found out what deals Dream was making with XD he would have been in HUGE hot water. like he was not supposed to do that.)

As for the specifics of lore in the story:

-Phil is able to keep his inventory because, well, he's hacking the Game anyway, and also he's not even technically a part of the Game

-being not part of the game Phil has never heard the End Poem and I decided to use it a little creepily here bc of that fact (something so comforting to Players would be jarring for someone who's old enough to remember when the Devs were still fighting to keep their rule)

-Phil was literally just reaching blind and ABSOLUTELY some cosmic fuckery was going on and also Admins generally expect Players to be hackers so let's just say Phil kinda just Jesus Walked right through the Hermitcraft door

-Phil doesn't get a "player joined world" message because: he is not a Player. He only shows up in Bdubs' death message because he's still technically there and the Game had to report cause of death. This didn't happen on the DSMP because Phil was welcome and made a part of the game

-Only Players spawn with comms, so Phil isn't going to have one until one is made and given to him

-Phil does NOT know where he is nor does he recognize who Bdubs is. He definitely know what Hermitcraft is (he's VERY much avoided it) but also in-lore I don't think Phil especially would know every single person on there much less be able to immediate recognize names he probably heard in passing. as of right now he is Lost Birb

-Phil is also semi-fucked and once he figures out where he is he's gonna freak because not only is Hermitcraft full of Novellus but it also has direct a line as you can get to a Dev. and he is a lone soggy Birb who's married to the most infamous Primordial goddess who is also the main one the Devs fucked over with their respawn mechanic

-additionally: he's currently freaking out because in a world with respawns (endless respawns but he doesn't quite know that yet) death has no meaning. He has 0 godly help here and also: he can't leave unless he hacks his way back out so. he stuck and also has already engaged hostiles

ANYWAY SCENES I ALREADY KINDA HAVE PLANNED THAT YOU CAN IDK VOTE ON

-Oh i definitely will probably write anyway Phil figuring out he's on Hermitcraft and just how fucked he is. I say he takes out False, who he recognizes from general PVP badassary, and goes "ah. i'm doomed"

-and get ready for birb-to-birb communication bc Phil's actually gonna get help from Grian (and yes this just an excuse to write a parrot character i LOVE parrots). With this being vaguely season 6-ish (i will figure it out as i write further) Grian is both new and bc of the Watcher disaster doesn't have a noticeable Player status. Now both him and Phil can sense something Off about the other but also: they are just birbs and Phil is very, very lost and also running from 2 kinds of law.

-Techno showing up. Like he 100% thinks his BFFFAEAE is being held hostage on a server full of unfriendlies and ho boy is he showing up Murderous

idk you can also give me suggestions i am no expert around here

[uraniumnm333]

dropping more tsukasa kanade lore guys >>>

i think that after kanade has the initial tsukasa jumpscare they start to get along well but like. kanade talks to think man because even though she goes to the same school as mizuki GUESS WHO NEVER FUCKING ATTENDS !!! and once she talks to tsukasa long enough she's introduced to rui and nene by being invited to ★★★ SUPER COOL EAT-LUNCH-ON-THE-ROOF TIME [kool kats only ★★] ★★★ and kanade sits down like "okay. these people seem calm. theyre probably normal. i think. i can do this :]" and then emu. climbs onto the roof. and kanade thinks "OHFUCKOHSHIT NEVERMIND NEVERMINDNEVERMIND"

so they eat lunch and kanade is introduced to tsukasa's not boyfriend, tsukasa's not girlfriend and tsukasa's not girlfriend. and they have a good time !!! kanade gets along well with nene, but also doesn't because i think the two of them are the equivalent of the "shy people vs introverts" meme. rui is fun but kanade cannot understand that man for the life of herself. and. emu. so ironically tsukasa is the one she gets along with most.

so they hang out and also i think that kanade has tsukasa look over her compositions and has probably gotten him to play an actual piano bit for one of nightcord's songs. idk which you just gotta trust me. and one day kanade comes to their daily meet up thing which happens in the park because silly and tsukasa isn't doing his usual thing. bc when she usually comes tsukasa is happy and smiling like :D :D :D and helping out little kids on the playground equipment but this time nobody's here and he's just. off. and kanade can feel The Vibes but she goes over anyways. and she sees him and he sees her and suddenly he's happy again but this time it's all wrong. and she leaves and goes back home and she thinks back and realizes how Wrong all their interactions had felt. but at the same time it didn't. and she's trying to make sense of all this and talks to nightcord about it because who else would she talk to ??? and general consensus is "make discord server with him" so that's what she does. yes this results in silly tsukasa uses discord for the first time shenanigans. and they all start talking !!! ofc she introduces mizuki as mizuki but mafuyu and ena are left as "my online friends enanan and yuki"

tsukasa ends up inviting rui nene and emu because WHO ELSE ??? and rui dms kanade like "okay i know why you did this but we. are getting nothing out of this. also is yuki mafuyu from the all girls school that emu goes to ???" also SIDE PLOT with emu not feeling creeped out around yuki like she is mafuyu. just wanted to mention. anyways rui is like "i know who you are" and kanade is like "help me help you help your bf (boy best friend)" and idk how but eventually tsukasa just. breaks down.

it's not even anything special he's just in a discord vc w everyone and they start talking about fun things they did as children and tsukasa realizes he can't even remember talking to his parents unless it was over the phone and he just. goes quiet !!! and that's not normal because tsukasa is never quiet so everyone is just a teeny weeny bit worried. and then they hear this man. CRYING ???

so of COURSIES they all meet up in the empty sekai bc we love sekai mashups !!! and idk from there tbh im just bein silly atp

[bring-out-the-dead]

I have a lot of weird feelings with the whole situation involving the mods of SSA (and to some extent the situation involving Bryn). These were people who had consoled me after I tried to kill myself because of what Pengosolvent and others did to me, and now I'm seeing a lot of shit come out about them, and I really don't know what to believe anymore.

The main thing with Bryn's stuff that really pisses me off are the people who outright lie and say Bryn was never abused by anyone in floraverse when I literally watched them get fucking abused by pengosolvent in very similar ways that I was abused.

If you really have problems with Bryn, then stick to the proven facts instead of theorizing on some shit because it really makes you lose credibility if you do that. (this isn't me saying that bryn is perfect or did nothing wrong, it's just hard to parse through what's true or not)

I don't really know what's going on with the people behind SSA bc two of them left the server we were in together and the one who stayed hasn't said anything. I am trying to reach out to one of them bc I do consider these people to be my friends and I want to at least hear their side of the story.

Overall I think this situation is sucky and I really wish everyone involved made better choices.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

god I am so out of it I nearly forgot to share my c!prime dream

anyway so like. in it the disc finale was staged but like not for c!tommy and c!tubbo? it was weird like they were kidnapped and murdered respectively but everything was staged to cause paranoia and implicate secret involvements with everyone in the server, so they’d turn on themselves while going mad trying to find c!dream as he fucked off very far away to experiment or something? and the prison was there to drive that? idk

anyway c!tommy was kept in like this little bunker but it was nice. like a little cottage it even had a fake back yard build. but also it was like super childish. like nothing that’d be inappropriate for young kids he had a ton of plushies and colouring books but no violent media stuff like that and he had a strict bedtime. but dream treated him very nicely, if condescendingly. c!dream said something like “you’re not a bad kid you were just raised wrong so I’m going to raise you right” or something? i know that was like the sort of excuse he used (the real reason was obviously bc he knew c!tommy hated being treated like a child and he was using it to manipulate him).

c!dream would give him more age appropriate things if he “acted maturely” but his definition of it was literally just being Nice and Obedient. they’d be taken away the second he stopped doing that, and if he continued, he'd be punished. c!dream was like “nice” about it in a not mad just disappointed way but obviously he was awful and abusive and just trying to hide it. and he didn’t even have to consider if c!tommy would die after bc he knew the revive book worked. i remember one punishment was just him being left alone for days which bc c!dream brought the food meant he’d starve and often resort to eating whatever plants he was growing in the “garden” (which often lead to him being poisoned bc some pretty flowers are very deadly!)

but like. c!dream would also sometimes bring c!tubbo over to spend time with c!tommy (while watching him like a hawk) and c!tommy learnt that c!Tubbo was also being treated relatively “kindly”- he was being killed and experimented on in awful ways, but he had a comfortable cell with nice food and entertainment, and if he filled out diaries he'd be allowed to chat with c!dream and c!Punz for a bit usually about science bc they’re all nerds (secretly they used what c!Tubbo said to aid their research) so they both really struggled on how to view him. because he was awful and abusive but he was also kind to them, and they couldn’t figure out a reason why he’d pretend to be nice when there was no one else around.

it was a weird dream probably bc of The Meds lol

[sxtaep]

You only got horny once? That means that you're purer and better than most of us here 😭😭😭😭😭😭. What did tht guy do to ruin you? 👀

THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING BUT WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE NEED SOME TMI AROUND HERE 😭😭😭

it’s probably nothing serious and petty to some of you BUT THIS FUCKED ME UP DIFFERENTLY 😭

get ready for a long, boring story time guys

tw: jahanara being fucking stupid

ok i’ve mentioned this guy before, but let’s call him X for this storyline 😭

so, me and X have known each other since we were 11, we went to the same secondary school and ended up going to the same college. we weren’t close in secondary school, he was just a classmate and a mutual friend and that was it really.

going round to september 2020 when college started, that’s when we found out that we went to the same college and a lot of our mutual friends also joined us there so that’s when we started getting close along with our other friends.

it all started with a game of among us and then a server on discord where we used to play and talk everyday 😭 it was really fun and i guess that stemmed my liking towards him?

he was so nice and funny and he’d always be nicer to me compared to everyone else in our friend group and that just threw me totally off-guard.

in college when we’d meet up before/after our classes, we’d be with the rest of our friends just chilling and stuff or we’d be walking home together talking about the most random things (mostly aot).

now now, everyone in our friend group knew that i used to write smut and ffs and stuff so they’d always tease me about it, but he in particular would ask me questions like “how do you come up with this stuff?” “are you even into any of the things you write?” and i’m guessing he used that against me later on, you’ll see.

i think around December 2020 was when i became absolutely certain that i had a crush on him and IT WAS KILLING MEEE and it was the night of my birthday, i was talking to my close friends and i told them i was gonna confess just to get it off my chest and they were very onboard and supportive about it, so i messaged him.

surprisingly, he was very nice and normal about it which was weird because he’s the most unemotional person in the world 😭 but yeah, he said he appreciates it but he wasn’t looking for a relationship or anything and he’s more focused on his studies and i reassured him like “oh, i’m not looking for a relationship either, i’m just telling you to get it out of the way.”

like genuinely, i didn’t want a relationship, YOU GUYS KNOW ME 💀😭 but yeah, and he goes “you deserve someone a lot better than me anyway,” which made me go ??? wow really?

we ended the conversation on a good note and basically got on with our lives as normal.

two weeks go by and suddenly he’s being so distant towards me?? he was actively speaking on the groupchats we were in and taking to other people but whenever i tried to speak to him ON THE GROUP CHAT, he’d just ignore me and i was thinking ????? ok then, what did i do to him?

it got quite bad to the point where he’d just be openly rude to me and making unsolicited jokes towards me (and other people) so we were all like what the hell???

he also VERY SPECIFICALLY SAID “jahanara is not funny” which tbh idrc about bc a lot of my irls say i’m the least funniest in the group 😭 but my mates were still there to defend me like their lives depend on it (love them fr 😭) and then he goes again, “jahanara is not funny. at all.” IM LIKE DAMN DUDE WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?

of course i ignored it and didn’t say anything because i HATE confrontation so i just left it.

X was close with my friend L, so she asked him why he was being so rude and distant to me and he goes “i didn’t want jahanara liking me because i knew she would end up hurt, so i made it seem like i’m a dickhead,” AND HE THOUGHT IT WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA 💀💀💀 it was not.

around february 2021, i was getting very very excited for the grammys because i thought bts would win and so i put a poll on my snapchat story that said ‘if bts win a grammy, i will _____’

that gained a lot of traction and people were sending crazy suggestions and one of my close friends was like “you should masturbate” AND I WAS LIKE GIRL???? ARE YOU FR???

and she was dead serious SO AS A JOKE, i added that onto the poll and everyone voted for that option because everyone saw me as the overtly horny virgin for bts that has never touched herself before because she’s scared 😭😭

i think a day before the grammys, everyone on the groupchat was talking about it, even the non-armys in our friend group were so invested in me doing this if bts won 😭 and they were all giving me tips and stuff and suddenly X goes “message me when you do it.”

i didn’t think much of it because my best friend also told me to message her when i do it which was so embarrassing 💀😭

so the grammys start, it’s about 2am march 15th 2020, and i’m sitting there waiting for them to announce who on, and of course, bts lost. i was bummed that they didn’t win but i thought fuck it, let me just do it once and get it over with because im an adult, how have i not done it before?

i send a snap of myself with a thumbs up to my best friend and X and i was like “wish me luck guys” and i was shitting bricks 😭

obviously i didn’t know what to do or how to start, but X responded to my snap straight away and he asked me if i knew what to do and i said no 💀 and i guess he kind of… got me started????

this is so embarrassing but he did actually help me get in the mood, he texted me a bit, yk just telling me how to get started AND I DONT KNOW WHAT CAME OVER MY HEAD BUT I SENT HIM NUDES 😭😭😭😭 LIKE NOT FULL ON FRONTAL NUDES, JUST LIKE…. A TITTY PIC OR TWO. OR THREE (bare in mind, i genuinely thought he was helping me because he liked me back 3 months after i confessed).

like seriously, idk what possessed me to send him nudes, i think i was very h word and gripped onto the fact that he may have actually had feelings for me 😭

he screenshot all of them and he was feeding me with so many compliments and praise and yk pulling the whole “pretty girl” “good girl” thing and that really got me going 😭

OH AND THEN HE PHONED MEEEE AND HE GUIDING ME THROUGH THE PHONEEEE AND THAT DID IT FOR ME that was the first time i actually felt very GENUINELY turned on, LIKE I WAS ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR, THIGHS LITERALLY SHAKINGGGGG AND THROBBING AND I WAS SHOCKED BECAUSE IS THIS HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO FEEL??????

he was also… getting off too, i heard it all so that also blinded me into thinking he had feelings for me too 💀💀💀

he was doing the whole “if i was with you rn, i’d treat you so good” blah blah blah yk? the usual stuff, and i’m pretty sure we were at it for a good 40 minutes before wrapping up because i genuinely couldn’t finish and i hear a lot of women don’t finish often so i figured it was normal.

we said goodnight to each other and ended the call and the next day he sends a message on the groupchat and he goes “how was it, jahanara?” and i didn’t know what to say so i just went “yep, good. very good.” like we were playing this 'lets keep this between ourselves'.

i fully thought he liked me back after that night 😭 bro i was so blind 💀

i ended up telling my best friend because she has no other friends fr she’s my ride or die, so i just told her and the keeping it a secret thing didn’t last because one of X’s friends messaged me asking about it and i was like ….. how do you know?

turned out, X told his friend about it WHICH IMMEDIATELY GOT ME THINKING, OH NO WHAT IF HE SHOWED THE PICS I SENT??? so i messaged him asking him to delete them and he did, with proof, thank god .

everyone ended up finding out about what happened that night so everytime it was mentioned, it was just so awkward between us.

this all happened during the december-march 2021 lockdown we had and the lockdown ended on the 17th so i saw him that day it was so awkward being around him after that, i just knew things would never be the same.

i’d say around may, he started gaining an interest in one of my friends (a very close online friend) let’s call her D after i posted a photo of her on my story.

he kept asking questions about whether she had a boyfriend and stuff and me being me, completely impartial, i told him no, she doesn’t have a boyfriend, and then he wanted to add her on snap so i gave it to him.

i checked in with my friend D and she said she was fine being added by him and she had absolutely no interest in him the way he did AND she knew i liked him so she was never going to pursue anything anyway.

she added him back and X was trying to flirt with her and D thought it was the most embarrassing thing ever trying so hard to win her over.

he spent a good couple weeks chatting her up and begging for photos (nudes, duh) and she didn’t give them so he kind stopped with all the messages.

i knew everything because D was telling me what he was doing and i thought… God wtf? is this who i really like?

a lot of our friends found out about it and confronted him going “why would you go after jahanara’s friend begging for nudes when you know she still likes you?” and he got so much shit for it he took it out on me, again, being rude and making insensitive comments about everything and from there everything just fizzled.

i removed him everywhere, snapchat, instagram, his number, discord etc etc and he did the same apparently i couldn’t care less.

he became this guy that was so hard to talk to without getting attacked for no reason and he started spewing all this shit about what happened on grammys night, and just talking so much bs but me being me, i didn’t say anything about it or confront him about it so i just left it and let everyone else say what they wanted.

throughout 2021/22 everything died down, the groupchat became less active, people were talking a lot less, X was still bitching around me and being rude but whatever. everyone started uni so the groupchat actually died out so now interactions are very scarce.

this whole story pretty much stemmed my dislike towards males and relationships and sexual encounters. i haven’t even ATTEMPTED to be intimiate with myself since march 2020 because i’m always gonna be reminded of him and what he did, telling all his mates about it and what-not.

can’t even bring myself to wear the same pyjamas i wore that night because it makes me feel icky ☹️

but ye, that’s the story in balamory 😁 hope you guys enjoyed 😁👍

bared my titties for someone that wasn’t bangtan, i can’t believe it

[robotawakey]

was talking about gunpla today (kinda openenedly to a server because noone there makes gunpla or anything) and thought i should paste some of it here because it ended up being relevant to like thoughs for the future or something and i haven't had much else to post recently

yeah it's [making gunpla] fun though!!! it's a super nice way to kill time that still feels productive because i have something tangible at the end and i like robots and it gives me an opportunity to listen to music and sit there and work on something for myself without expectations of me idk i feel like expectations of me play such a huge part in how i feel a lot of the time even if they don't actually expect much of me i will play it upeven in like video games i just assume i must do the best and otherwise i feel like a failure and i don't think many people actually think i have to be the best but idk it makes it hard to relax esp. when playing with people i knnow are good or don't know how good theyare making gunpla is fun in the same way watching anime is for me at the moment, i'm not really in any communities around it (although i know there are tons) and it means that i don't have to expect myself to do anything to fit people around methere's like a ton of other factors too that make me prefer doing stuff like this alone (anime community is honestly pretty annoying i remmeber being told "it gets weird" like 40 times while watching evangelion and it just made me wanna notwatch anymore) (gunpla communities are apparently kinda competitive and elitist etc i am not spending 160 dollars on a slightly taller higher part count model of a gundam that i haven't actually wathced the anime they're in) and also it means i can explore and learn for myself which is nice i didn't use any tools during my first gunpla and during this one i'm gonna take longer bc i'm sanding and using wire cutterswhere i'm afraid it might bend or break more fragile parts when trying to twist them out and i think it's ok that i didn't know this the first time because it means i get to learn and make mistakes my first gunpla is missing a sticker because i didn't follow the instructions perfectly and now i am and it's going to look better but my next one (that i will prolly buy when in japan) will look even nicer and i'm ok with that because i'm doing my best right now and i think that's what matters but this loops back to gunpla not having any expectations there's nothing stoppign me from learning slowly or quickly i might find out in 3 models time that i could have been sanding with a special tool for it and that's ok idon't mind improving slowly even things that should be so intrinsically my own like my identity can leave me trying to work towarsd expectations because i know that in the future when i get estrogen (i like almmost definitely will) i'm not going to look like a girl, really i'm going to look like a fucked up boy at best and i'm not even sure if i want to look like a girl but don't i need to look like a girl to be on e like isn't that the point i can't just take it because of the partial feminisation right?? but like there's nothing stopping me just stopping it there (except maybe perscriptions because i think explaining i wanna be more feminine but not definitively a girl would go poorly with a doctor if they're perscribing be lifechanging drugs (which is where diy comes it but at the same time this means that what now i have to pass as a boy while taking e is that even any better will i be able to go through airport security or id checks if i have a male name on my passport and like aa boobs like what will happen then do blood tests get perscribed do ihave to tell doctors what if they stop me ))))) but ok now i'mspiraling i don't even remember how many openbrackets i left there here are some more closes just in case ))) i think if i just died this would be easier do u think they have gunpla in the afterlife idk it was actually kinda poorly articulated but it was a good description of my thoughts and i think still conveys how i feel i feel like expectations (and like, expectations i make up in my head?) play a larger part on my life than anyone else intends them to be and it kinda sucks

[malicent-envy]

i’ve been away because i’ve been working a lot so im gonna rant but i haven’t been able to shit which is annoying as fuck, my stomach hurts so bad but nothing i do helps so :/ but my old general manager came back to our store for the period bc everything’s been out of control there since she left and she wants me to be a better trained manager bc when she left i was still a server/lead manager and now im an assistant and when she left i was still over 200 but im like 50+ down from that and the first thing she said to me was ‘girl where did you go oh my god’ and that made me feel good. it also made me feel good for her to say that she’s happy that my boyfriend and i are officially together now (when she left, we were in a heartbreaking situationship) and that we both look a lot healthier now (he’s actually taking care of himself and he looks healthy and i’ve lost a lot of weight and im ‘healthier’) but people who hate me are telling everyone im doing drugs like :| im just depressed and ive been working so much that i forget to eat sorry that u have nothing better to do than STILL try to beef with me months after you left my job just because ur mad that my man didn’t want you (she made it a point to make my life miserable because she liked my bf before we got together and she was very pissed that he spent 95% of his time with me before we got together)

also, my dad was like ‘i want the diet you’re on bro’ and i was like ‘oh it’s the go through a rough breakup then get into a heartbreaking situationship and then have your cat of 11 years that you rescued and had a (probably incredibly unhealthy) emotional attachment to die and then continue the heartbreaking situationship where all he does is sleep around and hurt you and also work so much you forget to eat and when you don’t forget, you feel so sick you barely eat and also work a job that stresses you out so much that you’re losing hair 😺👍’ and my dad was like ‘hmmmm i don’t wanna do that’ like bro me either but i did it lmao but it’s ok me n my man are locked in now and we have a lil cat so whateves lolz

[totentnz]

*knocks on your door* I must hear about BETRAYAL, marked for death, and cut content: johnny and v fuck after he runs into her at her dayjob pt.2 from the WIP game? Please❣💖🙇🏽‍♀️

from here

sorry this took me a minute, didn't have the spoons to look at my writing 🤡 also THANK YOU! 💜

3. BETRAYAL

this one is a bit erratic, which honestly fits the situation pretty well. giving you the whole thing because i cant pick a favourite.

i wrote this after i answered this ask game. obligatory @bishicat tag :3

if she truly was like their father she would have thrown the plant at viv and not the ground. this was a distinction that was important to the twins but most likely meant very little to everyone else. "talk some fuckin' sense into her!" v exlaimed, not even looking at her brother. "cant do." vincent replied as he grabbed a bowl from the counter and knelt down to scoop the dirt up. "-- im leavin' too." v's ears began to ring after hearing this confession. "what?" she asked, calmly. he had scooped up most of the dirt, plant and pot up by now and stood up. "im leavin' nc. got a new place in atlanta already." /// "and there is nothing you can say or do to stop us." us? v needed a moment to wrap her head around this. us? there has always been an us and in v's mind there was always going to be one but this sounded different. us? as in they? her excluded? it sounded strange, like a different language, an alien language. us? he was taking her side? what happened to us-us? she wondered. you and me? brother and sister? you are supposed to be on my side! after all the things -- no v swore she would never use their childhood as leverage, not even in her thoughts. she couldnt comprehend this. /// while she was happy she was fucking miserable. and now? she had nothing left to lose. it was pretty freeing actually, to be alone, uncared for, she could finally ruin her life in peace, without having to explain anything to anyone.

2. marked for death

this is from a theme event in the writers of night city discord server! we were tasked to write something inspired by the song Marked For Death. now silverv would have been obvious but i decided to write about muv (muamar + v) instead. silverv is implied however.

i wanted to edit/ rewrite it before i post it to tumblr but haven't gotten around to it yet.

"y'all are dyin'. match made in heaven." "exactly. why would i waste his time?" johnny groaned and leaned forwards, propping himself up on one of his knees. "so ya can't fuck the BD chick 'cause she got baggage. panam's straight. kerry isn't into you. river is too alive and el clowno is off the table 'cause he's on borrowed time?" he counted on his fingers.

~~~~~~~

7. cut content: johnny and v fuck after he runs into her at her dayjob pt.2

i cut this from my entry for silverv week in february. it takes place in au: watch the world burn (2010's AU) v has a side-job at a food place called Borg Burgers.

when he didnt place his order she looked up from her notepad and he could swear relief washed over her. "the fuck are you doin here?" she asked. "gotta fuel up, got a gig later." he shrugged, making sure to get a good look at her from head to toe. "i get a discount? ya know bc we.." he paused and ran his metal fingers up her leg. she didnt move away or slap him away. "not how it works. if you wait till my shift is over i can share some leftovers with ya."

[flames-memory]

**__Thursday__**

BC asked Rita to see about removing the pictures from the BLP servers. It's good news, even if it means Rita and Jay are now aware of them. Hopefully, this little problem is almost.. gone.

I went with BC to her apartment. I tried to show her just how much she means to me, that there are some things I love enough to put my mouth on.. heh. She showed me something I had never done.. and made me feel like I had never felt.. again.

*sigh*

I'm writing this after.. all the next part. *sobs*

I fell asleep, and she left me a delicious noodle dish to wake up to.. It was delicious.

**__Friday__**

When I got up later, I dressed up for the Godzilla party, in a white and red dress, because BC thought I'd look pretty in one. I met up with her and Eliza at a coffee shop. It was sweet and nice and we chatted, and Eliza told me about her notebook, with good and bad points in it. She's adorable.

We left the coffee shop in good spirits, and headed to the Kyabakura club. Max got there a little after us, and it was the nicest night.

I cuddled with Max, and BC, ate sushi and pancakes and pineapple, and found out a little more about Max. I should give him more of my attention, he's worth it. He's a lot more like me than I think.. I think. heh.

and then.. Flannery showed up.

That meant some drama, the club threatening to toss her out and BC getting very upset. I gather there was someone named Ana, who must have signed a contract with Flannery, and Flannery did something Kass-like to her. I assume. I haven't been given any details beyond "avoid Flannery, she's a predator", really.

Then BC got a text and went out to smoke. Things get a little confusing here..

We were heading to Billy's after. I stepped out of the portal into Pocket D.

BC was lying on the floor facedown, in a pool of blood. Nothing ever hurt so bad in my life. Not the blow torch. Not the tattoo. Nothing. I remember looking for a moment for Max, but he wasn't there.. he had already gone to Billy's, not seeing BC there.

Everything went grey and cold and I felt dizzy and strange, but I got close enough to know.. she wasn't dead.. but she was hurt.

They said she hurt herself. I tried to summon my healing, my pain control, but any control was shattered. How could I be saved and brought to life, only to die only a week later?

**I'd said it myself.

If tomorrow never came, my week was a worthy life.

Fuck.**

Now.. I don't even remember who those people were. I have a card. Mookie? Muckie? FFS.

We managed to get her healed, physically. I collapsed at one point, just fully fucking overcome after all this.. but finally, I was able to take some of her pain, and they got her fixed... sort of.I went to check on Max and the guys.. they'd been shoved out in place of medical people, the right choice of course.

BC was talking to Eliza, who was saying she was going to go.. so I took a moment to fo talk to Max. I told BC not to leave me..

*pfft*

She didn't leave. She's still there, with those people.

When I got pulled back.. something had been decided, I don't know who by. They said they could fix her, help her.. whatever....

I went and found her mask, and brought it back to her. I'm not sure if I brought herself back to her, or if the mask is part of the broken part of her, and I'm only making it worse.. fuck. She seemed.. maybe ok.

I know I love her.

I know I want to see her happy.

I assumed that it would be Eliza she would want there first. Eliza knew what to say. She knew what to do. They have memories and history and I don't know if I understand exactly what I am to her.. and I may have let her down, because I didn't believe it.

Eliza left BC there. Left with Rachel. I don't know what that means. That she trusts them to fix BC? That she couldn't do anything, so she left? Honestly.. no matter what she says, I believe BC loves me, but I think I saw myself as something lesser.. a glorified side piece, and I'm terrified that my lack of.. is it self esteem? What if I messed up because I thought she'd rather have Eliza, and she ended up with no one.

I guess I wouldn't blame her for wanting to see me again.

I didn't want to leave, but scary sunglasses kinda didn't imply I had an option. Or maybe I was upset, and I decided that was what they wanted. Maybe BC doesn't want me there.

I don't want her to look at the pictures, maybe she doesn't want me to see this.

Now I gotta sit here alone, while BC is alone? Getting Uber-Analyed by a Super Shrink? I don't even KNOW. How am I supposed to be ok with any of this? How am I supposed to know what to do here? I know what I want.. but I can't have it.

They had her bat, and the music box was still there. I reminded BC that if she had it, I was with her. I hope it was enough...

Oh. The Text.

Allurra texted BC that Raz is a predator that harmed 4 women. and her? including her?WTF,

First Nat gets "abducted" and Alurra is all "Oh, no, what happened, lemme text people!" and then Flannery is all "WTF, Allurra TOLD me to take Nat," and now this.

Are they spinning BC up? Trying to break her? Are they really all predators? I mean.. probably, but still. I don't know these people well enough, despite having been in the wings this whole time. Raz snubbed me early on, so I never really paid much attention to him. He did once randomly give me a speech once about NOT being a predator, but I guess that's Sign Number One OF a predator, cuz I've only gotten them from people who turned out to be creepy.

So what the fuck now.I joined Max, and we are Climate Control. I don't trust anyone else anymore.

Those people didn't talk to me beyond what was needed to help BC, really. They did give me access to go back, though. So.. we will see. I trust her.. I trust BC. Whatever is happening to her, this is about her, not me. I just want her to be ok.. so badly.

Don't make me leave Max alone. He might not be madly, to-the-death in love with me, but I know he would be sad. Maybe I'm being dramatic, and I HATE that I know exactly what I'm saying, and how shitty it is. I don't even know if I mean it. I think I do.

I can live with knowing I might not get to be with BC forever. I just never expected it could end so soon. I don't want it to be over yet. It's not fair.

Max isn't a consolation prize. He is my rock, as stupid as that sounds.

[inthepeakymidwinter]

A Grand Distraction (Arthur Shelby x Reader) *smut*

*This story is 18+ no minors interact* Summary: Y/N leaves a party in a rush only to meet Arthur in a back room to comfort her. *cough cough emphasis on comfort* A/N: This was a weird old one I wrote and un-published just bc I felt uncomfortable at the time with writing smut but now I'm like fuck it lets gooo. Also LOWKEY I was making a hint to the newer Anna Karenina film bc i picture Count Vronsky (aaron taylor johnson) as 'Count Ostrovsky' lmfao don't judge me Word Count: 2750 TW: smut, alcohol, tight corset/hyperventilating Tags: @theshelbyclan @globetrotter28

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It was the night of the grand ball at the Russian Count Ostrovsky’s mansion. I wasn’t sure why, but the Count had taken a liking to the Peaky Blinder boys, and more so…me. It was uncomfortable for him to pine after me, but Tommy begged me to go. It was selfish for him to ask that of me, but I knew there was business to be done on his end and I didn’t want to get on his bad side. Truth be told I was frightened of the consequences, so I decided to play dress up for one night while the peaky boys did their thing. I wore a long burgundy ball gown that was so tight around my waist I could barely breathe. This was the one thing I could ask Tommy to buy for me and he didn’t complain. I told him if I was going to do his dirty work, I would have to do it properly, and well, properly I did.

I rode on the way to the mansion with none other than the mother hen of the Peaky Blinders, Polly Gray. “You know you are going to have the Count on your neck the entire time with this dress. He won’t want to leave your side” She stated bluntly. I nodded quietly and gazed out of the window of our car. I was so nervous I couldn’t speak. I didn’t want to have the Count anywhere near me let alone breathing down my neck. I only wanted Arthur Shelby. The only man who could save me from this whole thing. Arthur was tall, slim, and had a heart the size of an elephant. He was so caring and sweet to me, but I could never understand him. He wouldn’t tell me anything about himself. He’d just ask how my day was going and carry on with bartending at the Garrison. I’d get a few stares from him when I would be caught talking to his brothers, but he never did anything other than stare. It had been months, and still nothing. I was starting to doubt myself and go along with Tommy’s plan already.

Polly and I stepped into the Count’s giant ballroom. His dance floor was massive, and the servers were passing everyone champagne as they walked by. I made my way around with Polly, we both sipped our champagne and eventually parted ways before I found the Peaky Blinder boys in a corner talking amongst themselves. The first to look at me was Thomas, he tried looking back to his brothers but failed miserably as I continued to hold his gaze. John and Arthur were trying to interact with Thomas but had to track what he was looking at because he could not speak without looking in my direction. Arthur shot his gaze down my way, and I felt my cheeks heat up. His dark eyes turned colder once he remembered what I was here for, and he turned away in the blink of an eye. I felt my heart start sinking, and before I was able to do anything about it, I felt a strange finger on my shoulder. I turned around to face the young, tall, and brightly blonde Russian Count Ostrovsky.  “Madam Y/N, would you like to dance?” He asked politely, kissing my hand gently. I blushed hard at the gesture, yet my heart felt pulled towards another direction.

“I would love to, but if I’m quite honest…I’m not really sure how” I spoke.

“Don’t worry” He wrapped his left arm around my waist. “We can remedy this situation in a matter of minutes…I’ve been told I’m a great dancer” He gloated.

I smiled at him and followed his steps carefully, trying hard not to step on his toes.

“Count Ostrovsky…How did you know I was here?” I asked as we danced together. His blue eyes sparkled as he held my gaze.

“I have my ways” He laughed.

In a few minutes our dance had finished, and I felt my lungs run out of air. The corset I wore had restricted me in the worst way. “I enjoyed dancing with you Count Ostrovsky” I spoke softly, purposely trying not to let him down harsh before parting ways with him. He accepted my leave with a simple yet friendly nod, and I walked off the dance floor towards the back of the room where I had seen the Peaky Blinder boys previously.

Thomas and John had run off to the dance floor, but Arthur was standing patiently in a corner by himself. I waved at him, and he gave me a small smile. I walked over slowly, sure to inhale and exhale smoothly so I didn’t pass out. “Arthur” I called him out. “I see you’re having fun” I pointed to the bottle of vodka he held in his hand. He nodded his head and took a long swig before looking my way again. On the way towards him I wobbled slightly on the back of my heel and nearly fell, but Arthur came to the rescue and held me for a moment. I looked deeply in his eyes, trying to breathe but instead Arthur came up with words for me.

“Aren’t you a grand distraction”.

I stood upright and looked around the room to keep myself from blushing. I spotted Polly talking to some young man and decided to dart over that way to spare my feelings for Arthur. I didn’t need things to go tragically wrong tonight, and Thomas told me I only had one job. Spend time with the count. I gave Arthur a soft smile before sliding my way towards Polly. She was laughing and drinking with some young prince I had seen before at another party. I tried to chat with them for a minute, but I was quickly pulled aside by Thomas. His blue eyes stared me down and I felt my stomach tighten. “Why are you not with the Count?” He asked sternly. “I-I don’t know, we were just dancing Thom-“ “Are you serious? You two are supposed to be in bed by now” He huffed.

“Are you serious? Am I just some whore to you? You know what…I quit, I’m done playing your games, Thomas” I snapped and stormed off from him.

As I ran off my corset kept tightening and I could barely breathe. I ran down a random darkened hallway and walked into what seemed like a personal library room. I hyperventilated in the quiet room, trying to figure out how to rip the dress off myself until I heard a voice from behind me.

“I see you’re all by yourself” Arthur spoke lowly, sending chills down my neck. I quickly turned around and his face fell. He saw that I was in desperate need of air.

 “Arthur…I need your help but you cannot tell anyone, okay?” I asked him quietly. He nodded his head and I started to look around the room for an escape route. There was none. I looked at the door and saw there was a lock. I went behind Arthur and locked the door

“Y/N what are you-“

“Arthur I need you to get me out of this” I began trying to untie my dress but I couldn’t reach the strings of fabric in the back.

“Y/N are you sure I shouldn’t get Polly” He said sheepishly. I turned to looked him dead in the eyes and yelled at him to help me take it off. It felt like my lungs were deflating by the second and I couldn’t bear to keep the dress on any longer.

“Arthur I can’t breathe I don’t have time-“ I shouted at him. I started to hyperventilate again and instantly I felt his warm, rough hands start detangling all the tight knots. Within a few minutes Arthur had reached the corset and released me from its dreaded grasp. I let out a big breath and nearly collapsed onto the nearby chaise lounge in nothing but my silky white underclothes. “Arthur I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for you to see me like this but-“

“Y/N…you’re all I ever want to see” He let out. My mouth dropped open slightly, and I felt myself get lost in his glazed eyes.

“I thought you didn’t like me like that, Arthur“

“With a bloody face like that, how could I not like you Y/N” He slurred a little and began to lean in for a kiss. I struggled with the thought of Thomas finding out, and didn’t move at first, but Arthur kept his distance once I showed a sudden disinterest.

“Thomas could find out-“ I gulped and looked into his eyes.

“Fook him” He smirked and cupped the side of my face gently. I felt my cheeks heat up as his eyes took me in. I couldn’t stand to hold the silent yet enamored gaze. I crashed my lips against his in one quick move, a desperate attempt to taste the lips of the one and only Arthur Shelby. He reciprocated my actions and locked his lips against mine. We broke away for a moment. A chance to catch each other’s breaths and assess the moment properly. “From the first moment I saw you in that dress, I wanted to devour every inch of you” Arthur growled lowly. He got closer to me and placed love hungry kisses on the right side of my neck. I breathed him in with each kiss, he softly sucked and nibbled at certain spots sending chills down my back.

 “A-Arthur” I whined.

“Tell me what you want, love” He commanded.

“You…Arthur” I mumbled as he kept kissing and sucking on my neck. His thick moustache sent me into sensory overload as it tickled and scratched me with each kiss. I didn’t know how much further we would get before we got caught but I didn’t ever want him to stop. I felt his rough hand slide against my underclothes slowly. He started at my collarbone then slid down towards my breasts. He took my right breast in his hand and gently but firmly caressed it then slid down lower towards the edge of my stomach. “Arthur” I whined. He looked at me as he slid his hand down lower, feeling the warmth between my legs radiate against his skin. It was then that he kissed me firmly again and bit my lip when our lips separated slowly. I whimpered at the thought of our kisses coming to an end if anyone realized we were gone for so long. “Arthur, someone could catch us” I worried aloud. He looked at me with furrowed brows, then sighed and kissed my nose.

“I don’t think I’d be able to stop even if someone did, Y/N” He spoke gently. I desperately craved him and his confidence. We kissed once more, and I straddled his legs as he lay on the chaise lounge. “I need you, Y/N” He grunted as I started grinding down on his thigh. I felt myself get wetter by the second and we spent the time kissing one another, slowly deepening this kiss, using our tongues slowly and playfully. Each time we touched it felt impossibly electric. A feeling that was extraordinary only because it was him. Not the count, not Thomas, not anyone else, just… Arthur.

“I wanna feel you love” He growled once more and ripped the top of my slip dress to show my breasts. I sat there in shock, but it quickly faded as soon as he reached down and started to kiss and suck on my breasts. He alternated with each one, teasing me and making my nipples hard until I moaned and squirmed in his lap. “A-Arthur please” I begged him with a thirsting need for him to please me properly.

“You want me?” He asked with a shine in his eyes. I nodded my head quickly and before I knew it, he was flipping me over, so that I was positioned under him on the chaise lounge. He began hovering over me slowly reaching up under my white slip dress. “Let me taste you first” He demanded and shoved his head under my dress. I had prayed to the sky that this man wouldn’t kill me before the night was over, but things weren’t looking too good on my end. I felt his hot breath surround my wet pussy. His lips had pressed against my clit and he started to lick me up and down, using the chance to suck on my clit whenever he desired to. It had sent me so overboard that I dug my nails into the arms of the leather chaise lounge. I didn’t know what else I could do but shout Arthur’s name each time I felt my stomach tighten into knots. He quickened his pace and it felt like I was on fire.

“Arthur-Arthur I’m going to c-cum pl-please” I moaned out. He took that as motivation to proceed eating me out as fast as he could. He swirled his tongue on my clit and licked downwards, sticking his tongue into my entrance. His tongue flicked and thrusted into me at record speed. I was on the brink of orgasm when he stopped altogether and left me hanging. He pulled himself out from under my dress and his hair was flattened, pieces falling to each side of his face. He reached up to me and crashed his lips down on me. I reciprocated the kiss as desperate as I knew how. “Arthur please…I need you” I whined for him.

“As you wish, Y/N” He smirked and undid his belt. I followed his thick, veiny hands towards his belt and the second it popped off his waist I was able to see his cock poking through his boxers.

“You’re so big” I gasped as he took off his boxers. He had the proudest grin on his face as he bent down and gave me a slow, deep kiss. I took him in my hands as we kissed and I felt his body shudder at the touch. I stroked him slowly and he separated my lips from his.

“You want me to fuck you huh?” He smirked. He shuffled around the chaise lounge, getting into a better position. I nodded my head and bucked my hips against his dick. It wasn’t until after that he saw the neediness in my eyes. He aligned his cock with my warm entrance. He thrust into me slowly, but all the way and I gasped with widened eyes. “You alright, love?” He asked softly. Even with all the lust and passion, Arthur was still a sweet gentleman on the inside. I nodded my head and he slowly thrusted himself into me. His low grunts filled me with a dark desire to make him orgasm. With each thrust I cried out his name and dug my nails into his back. I couldn’t help but to scream, his size wasn’t something I was used to.

“Art-Arthur!” I shouted as he sped up his thrusts. It felt like I was going to explode with bliss. He deepened his stroke and kept fucking me like he meant it.

“Cum for me, Y/N” He demanded roughly as he thrusted. I tried to control my breathing, but there was no point. I was finally getting all of Arthur. I bucked my hips and tried to control his thrusting from underneath, but instead Arthur sped up his thrusts and I didn’t even know he could go so fast. Every inch of him was hitting me at once and all I could do was dig my nails into him and cry out his name.

“I’m gonna c-cum, fuck Arthur” I panted out.

He kept his pace and praised me. “Good, cum for me, princess” His hands grabbed mine and forced my arms above my head. He stared deeply into my eyes as he kept thrusting quickly into me. I closed my eyes and bit my lip as I started riding out the high of my orgasm. “Good girl” Arthur complimented as he kissed and sucked on my neck. He kept fucking me until he came shortly after I did. He grunted and clenched up around my walls. I moaned softly and kissed him on the shoulder. Arthur slowly slid out of me and looked at me like he sobered up via orgasm.

 “Arthur…” I whispered.

“I told you…you’re a grand distraction Y/N” He breathed out

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

….i feel like I ended up in a romcom or a sitcom or a SOMETHING because my dinner experience has been utterly bizarre. GOOD, but unexpected and mildly confusing.

So I got off work, right, and my wife left this afternoon to go visit her grandparents so I’m on my own for dinner and I figure “oh I’m craving fish and chips and she generally doesn’t do seafood, I’ll go to red lobster!”

First thing: It’s a tiny bit slow getting my order taken bc they’ve got a big party that’s trying to pay separately and they’re obviously understaffed bc everyone always is these days. My server stops briefly as she passes to apologize for the wait. Then she takes my order and the kitchen, y’know, takes time to cook food. She comes by to apologize again for the wait, and to apologize for the wait on the cheddar biscuits bc she waited for a fresh batch to be done for me. I’m delighted because fresh from the oven cheddar biscuits FUCK YES. I tell her very sincerely that I am not in a rush and I’m just treating myself bc my wife’s out of town so I’m on my own for dinner, and that she doesn’t have to worry about me. She seems intensely grateful. Maybe she had a rough day and impatient customers? IDK but I go back to my reading.

Second thing: Manager comes out with my food. She says it was the last of the fried fish that had been prepped and it looked a little puny. I look at it. It looks like a perfectly serviceable size to me but okay. Manager says that because of that, and the wait earlier (I’d only been here like half an hour at this point, mind you), she’s comped the dish AND was having them prep and fry more fish so that would be out in a bit. I tell her she doesn’t have to. She says she insists. I thank her sincerely and set in. And when the fresh order comes, it is delicious but I can only eat like half of it bc I was right and the first one was plenty big.

Third thing: my server asks if I want dessert. I say Yeah, I’ll splurge, I order a brownie a la mode. She comes back with it and says she made it herself, “with extra love put in”. She is bubbly and sincere and pretty cute to boot. I grin and say I’m sure there is and tuck in. It’s very good. I can only eat about half but NOM.

Fourth thing: I ask for the check. My server asks if I want a container for the rest of the brownie. I say sure why not. She comes back with my check and a little container. “I didn’t put the brownie on there,” she says in a stage whisper as she hands me my check. I have been charged for one (1) overpriced cocktail and nothing else. My server apologizes the little container might not hold my whole dessert and says she scoured the back for something bigger but came up empty. She is delighted when the whole thing fits in the little container.

…Like, this was BIZARRE in the nicest way? I just don’t know how to process it all I think XD I in no way asked for any of this, I just came in with my ipad and sat there quietly and smiled and told them not to worry about apologizing for the wait with me because I was not in a rush and I knew how food service could be.

Anyway I’m leaving a tip like I paid full price for everything so hopefully this evening will be as nice a memory for my server as it was for me.