#i am seen by other people and they love me even when im being silly

[jinnies-lamps]

I was reading my memorial book (a book that shows all of our classmates pictures and notes to each other). It is from 2017 last year of high school. One of my friend said “sometimes you ask me ‘how do you endure/stand me?”. I wish you could see yourself in my eyes, i don’t endure you, i love spending time with you”…. Literally started crying. I spend those years thinking i am not loved. I was LOVED! People, so many people loved me. I was so depressed, so stuck in my head, I didn’t realized at all. I am always loved, even in my most unlovable, most depressed times people loved me. I have to remember this when bad days come.

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Theyre going to think I like canon and purely canon if I keep going on like this

[infizero]

also having now actually seen the whole thing adventure time has skyrocketed into one of my favorite shows ever. like for real i liked it as a kid and have always had a fondness for it ever since but rewatching it now has made me realize Just how fucking good it is and how unlike anything else it is. its so good and appeals to ME specifically in so many ways please for the love of god if you haven't watched adventure time WATCH IT. WATCH IT RIGHT NOW

[beenbaanbuun]

ateez as sharks pt.2

too many sharks to choose from, to few members to assign them to. oh well! guess it just means i get to make a part two 👀

park seonghwa - epaulette shark

epaulette sharks are STUNNING!!! they are the epitome of sleek and genderless in shark form and i know seonghwa would adore them

epaulette sharks are incredibly unique (they can walk on land!!) and use that to their survival advantage. obviously seonghwa doesn’t use his beautiful uniqueness for survival, but it makes him stand out so beautifully just like the epaulette shark

kim hongjoong - portjackson shark

another cunty little shark for our cunty little guy. these guys are so gorgeous and cool and honestly remind me of hongjoong more than i care to admit

they’re known for being rather small, most of them not even growing to be one metre, and while they’re not particularly ferocious, they do have a generous spine protruding from their secondary dorsal fin. it’s like how hongjoong doesn’t look necessarily intimidating at first glance, but get him on stage and holy moly…

jeong yunho - bonnethead shark

i cant stop assigning silly looking sharks to jeong yunho and i will NOT apologise for that!! mr silly himself deserves to be represented by an animal just as silly as he is!!

they’re known to be pretty social sharks, often swimming in groups rather than by themselves. they’re not selfish or individualistic like a lot of other shark species and i think that represents yunho perfectly. he loves his team to death and you can clearly see that

kang yeosang - leopard shark

another cute little guy that i think represents yeosang so perfectly. whilst not as silly looking or as colourful as zebra sharks, they’re still sweet little guys with not a single bad bone in their body (well… cartilage i suppose)

they’re actually seen to display little to no fear of humans and are often viewed as being docile in nature. this doesn’t apply to their prey though since they’re pretty good hunters! it just reminds me of how yeosang is also seen as being ‘docile’ but behind it all there is an amazingly talented performer who isn’t afraid to be a little aggressive on stage when he needs to be

choi san - basking shark

now personally i hate basking sharks (which does NOT reflect on my views of choi san, i love that man so much!!) but i do have to say they’re the perfect choice for san…

they’re another species of shark that are viewed as being ‘gentle giants’, growing up to 8 metres in length yet only being filter feeders. i personally am afraid of them because of how scary they look despite just being big slow guys living their life peacefully; a sentiment i see reflected with san a lot (despite the fact that i don’t know how anyone can be scared of that big ball of fluff)

song mingi - hammerhead shark

listen guys, in the same way that saw sharks are just silly little men that are absolutely adorable, hammerhead sharks are also just fucked up little guys that most people agree are very sweet

these guys are literally physically incapable of hurting people, partly because of their sweet nature but also partly because of their tiny mouths. now i’m not saying mingi has a small mouth because that would be a lie, but i am saying that i don’t think that man could every intentionally hurt someone without feeling terrible for 4-5 business days

jung wooyoung - lemon shark

THIS IS THE COMPARISON IM MOST ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT GUYS!!! lemon sharks are so sweet and also very pretty (just like wooyoung)

due to their large brains, lemon sharks are incredibly social animals and often crave the attention of divers, swimming up to them and letting the divers touch and interact with them. they’re also known to express negative emotions (similar to jealousy) when divers are giving other sharks more attention. i just think with how sociable and sweet wooyoung is, this is the perfect shark

choi jongho - blue shark

am i sorry for continuing to give jongho the sharks that look like they’ve never had a thought in their life? absolutely not! he has those big beautiful boba eyes, he has to face the consequences

these little guys are incredibly versatile. they’ll live almost anywhere in temperate or tropical water, they’ll eat pretty much anything (even krill, despite them not being filter feeders), and whilst not necessarily being dangerous to people, have been known to take a nibble every now and then. maybe it’s just me but whenever i think versatile i think of jongho, and this shark looking a little silly just makes it even better

[drawlody]

My list of Adam ships♡ n my opinion bout them (also fics rec :D)

Adam x Luicfer (Adamsapple/Duitarduck) 10/10

Need i say more:)))??!?! started out as a "haha funny slip-up ship" to "hey they got really good angst potential". The friends/lovers to enemies to lovers is STRONG with this one n i am eating up everything i could found on ao3. Smth bout this macho-ass man finally getting to stay back n not take charge for once feel nice, also princess Adam supermacy wooooo. Whoever came up with the ship name i applaud u cause that's like a 3 layers name(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's not an Adamsapple fic without Adam having at least 1 mental breakdown n Lucifer have his guilt eating him alive:)))

Very fucked up torture but i swear it worth the pain:D The dove is so dead it start to rot so plz read the tags properly (plz check out the AngeliaDark other works too they got good shit)

This one have a splits so check out both the fics (beware the author have a skrewed sense of what is considered wholesome:))))

I didnt think a smut scene could be this sad

Adam x Lute (Guitarspear/Guardrock) 10/10

Litteraly my first Hazbin ship, assholes in love is an underrated dynamic we desperately need more off:))) That with a dash of evil dude x loyal subordinate (which i havent seen since the Deathglare days) n opposite attract (look they have one main thing in common is that their extreme bloodthirst, other than that she's stricter than ur mom n he's lazier than the Sloth ring itself but that the beauty of it no? He convince her to chill tf out n not to burst a blood vessel, she keep him on track n make sure Sera dont come on their asses)

They're just being silly enabling each other terrible behaviour n i love that for them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Litteral besties i tell ya

Heavy non-con shit involving Val but Lute will revenge our boi i promised u that

Cool idea n they r just made for each other damn

First hazbin fic i read which is a really cool smut:D

Adam x Micheal (we need a ship name people ) (update: it's Songbird/Guitarhero) 10/10

I like how we dont even got a proper comfirmation of Micheal design/personality yet the ship is here already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( im using the Nakariiale's design as a base here love their design)

Hit me with that rebound love x "u look like my ex so im using u as a replacement but ill fall for the real u eventually" x co-workers in heaven. I'm thinking smth along the line of "after Lucifer fucked off with Lilith, Micheal became Adam guardian angel n they just hang out" ya feel me here? (✿◕‿◕✿)

Shout out to Bloog_b for dragging me into this ship:DDD also im on the Adam x the archangels ship as a "gotcha" to Lucifer of sort. Like bitch u stole my wives imma steal your brotherS

Look it's Adamsapple endgame but trust me u will be feed well on this ( u know how good u gotta be for people to ditch the main ship?)

I'm giving yall 4 fics here cause i can only found 4 rn(._. )

this one is uhh non-con so beware

Micheal is indeed Adam guardian angel in this one:D

Adam x Eve (Flowertunes) 8/10

I dont care what yall said they love each other throughout Eden n Earth , might have a falling out in heaven but that doesnt change the fact that they were once IN LOVE. Honestly why cant we just have a couple that have the same bright-eyed innocence like one another.I refuse to believe Eve like willingly cheat on Adam with malicious intent n all, simply she was indeed ''tricked'' or just not fully understand the sistuation, n Adam love her way too much to think that she would do that to him like Lilith. Hell the dude was heartbroken after L left , starting the abandonment issues, so he would have cling to Eve, doing everything so that he aint alone again, even if that mean leaving Eden

Honestly it pisses me off that the Adam/Eve tag on ao3 most of the time is just 1 dialouge between them back when Eve bit the apple n thats it no elaboration on the couple whatsoever >:(((

Lots of switcharoos

sinner eve woooo

look its hard trynna find a fic focusing on them ok?

Adam x St. Peter (Guitargreeter (bet ya didnt see that coming:))) 7/10

Base on this fanfic alone Joe my dude u r on the path of becoming THE Adam crack-ship writer n i am here for this:)))) just so u wait this dude gonna whip out a AdamxNifty , AdamxHusk fic later on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

From within the fic itself the ship its 2 bros in love with homophobia standing in the way >:( also when did we have a name?!?!?!?

I just like Adam x anyone in heaven alright:D like bro famous n he got that ancient rizz, u telling mr he cant bag a hottie or 2-100+ hmm?

Adam x Alastor (Angelicradio) 8/10

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT I SHIP I JUST DO φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i blame YOU honestly rn this ship is either Adam found Al after the fight n they make a deal or they're in heaven n they chillin this ship is confusing:D

They're angels on heaven

Adam gone back into eden n do shit differently

This is both Adam/Eve n Adam/Alastor kinda

Adam x Alastor x Lucifer (Angelicradioapple/ Charlie's dads (only me call them that lol)) 9/10

''Hey Charlie u know how u r sad that your mother left? Wellllllll i got you 2 new dads suprise:DDDD''

Look 3 miserable men who hate each other + hell's greatest dad + my love for Dadam = Messy ass old men yaoi :DDDD n it work perfectly with Alastor Asexuality too!!! Like Adam n Lucifer could fuck each other brains out before Al joining in for the cuddles lol

Chaos ensue

Not exactly a love triangle but a love corner but hey we barely got food here :D

I cant believe how hot this shit is lol

Adam x Eve x Lilith x Lucifer (Eden poly/ applecore?) 8/10

They could have been all married to each other(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But as much as i go "OooOooo Poly yay'' i just cant vibe with EvexLucifer, like the cheating vibes is wayyyyyyyyy too much i just cant man . I mean with the interpetation that Lucifer came to Eden to hang out with the humans they all know eachother, they're a throuple yes but BUT when Eve came into the picture it was only with Adam n him only so the other 2 is ehhhh. Im fine with EvexLilith cause im seeing it happening later, not hidden from Adam while LuciferxEve got that deception going on .So uhhh in this ship they're more like bestie than lovers to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also AdamxLilith is an underrated pairing like everytime i saw this applecore thing going on these 2 r at most tolerate each other like cmonnnnn we already twist this to hell n back, why cant we make it so their arguement was a petty non-malicious one n they still cares for each other hmm???

They're one happy family

IDK what to tell u bittersweet reunion n loving family is the only typa fic u get with this ship

Not that im complaining i need this wholesomeness

Adam x Mammon (Adammon/Madam/Greedyguitar/ 1st chirstmas.... hasnt had an offical name yet) 10/10

They r litteraly same person different font idk what to tell u. More insults thrown around than Guitarspear but they're pretty similar. Adam is just " sinners suck ass but this dude is the worst in the best way". Also they're both big bois (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ , they love towering over others

I'm sorry but there r barely BARELY

any fics of them :(

The art side is more plentiful tho :D

Adam x Angel Dust (Holydust/guitardust) 5/10

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR n that the exact reason why i cant see them be together as a couple 100%, like the shit-talking bff vibes r wayyyy too strong XD Angel finally got someone who have the same vulgar humour as him n if Adam got married in hell Angel would 100% be his best bitch of honour (≧∀≦)ゞq(≧▽≦q)

They're best friends who have casual no-string attached sex that is ACTUALLY no-string attached:)))

I came to ship them due to those "What if they're co-workers under Val' scenarios ive been seeing on Tumblr

I got like 1 fic on ao3 i mean if u r looking for just platonic friendship between them then rest asure most Adam's redemption fics have that

I got 1 fic on tumblr

Adam x Charlie (Charadam/Guitarprincess) 5/10

U know this ship give me a pretty bad first impression since a good chunk of the fics r either heavy non-con shit or lean wayyyyy to much into the daddy kink, ya know how Charlie got suppose daddy issues n all that jazz?:))) yeah that... that

But after seeing the art side of this ship im chillin with them now, since the art r pretty wholesome, usually having them decked out in punk-rock clothings hanging out. It's a big "Fuck you" to Lucifer n i live for these mf argueing ╰(*°▽°*)╯

So uhhh stay away from the fics if ya want an actual functional couple instead of wtv messed up shit we got there:))) But here's a fic anyway, the only one where it feel bearable n actual trynna go into said messed up relationship i already warn you

We got cracks like Guitarmaid (AdamxNifty), Valadam (AdamxVal) which i dont have enough materials to decied, Classicalrock (AdamxSera) sound interesting but also havent found anything , Guitarhalo (AdamxEmily) is an unexpected find, find i deem them to be more familial than romantic so we'll see if there's a fic good enough to convince me

Edit:i forgot to add Blitzo like Mammon already there why did i forgot

Adam x Blitzo (i dont think anyone even ship this but me:)) 7/10

I cant find a single fic where they has anything more than a 1 nightstand n 1 interaction where they hit it off , i live off imagination alone (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) but like fr fr they would match so well, like their bloodlust n general jerkiness would make them the 3rd asshole x asshole ship on this list :DDDD

Tho as much as i wanna see them go further i feel like an on-n-off relationship/friends with benefits fit em more ya know ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰) If ya have any fic but the 2 here that have them interact lemme know cause a bitch need food :)

This is a lot of tag(._. )

[brucewaynehater101]

I miss the feeling I had when I first joined this fandom, I knew virtually nothing so everything was correct and I loved everything, even if that stuff just isn’t true, i was like

Bruce is a bit emotionally constipated but loves his kids? Hell yeah sounds legit

dick is a silly happy flippy man who is a bit promiscuous? Love that for him

Jason is a mega feminist literature nerd who is also buff and takes care of the street kids? Perfect man honest

Tim is a nerd who never sleeps and is queer and has never known the touch of a man nor woman? Sweet

Steph is waffle obsessed goofball? Well I prefer pancakes but right on

Cass is a mute badass who loves her fam? I love her

Duke is a normal dude? Well someone has to be and he seems neat

Alfred can do no wrong? Aight, I love old perfect tea men

Damian is a little prick? So are all middle schoolers give him time

But then I had to go learn about the characters and now I have complex opinions about them, and can see the inherent racism and sexism in how they are portrayed

You know before I joined the bat fandom I did not use the exclude tag in ao3? Like tmnt and dp have some bad stuff but usually I could just scroll past.

but now I am having to avoid fics where whole ass adults are bullying and/or oversexulizing a child

Im constantly on the look out for untagged batcwst

I struggle to find fics that don’t describe dicks ass

I have been in this fandom for probably about two years now and y’all I swear

sorry for ranting, and don’t worry I love all your stuff and I know the just back click don’t leave mean comments rule

I’m just tried bc most of the stuff I thought was true turned out to be false

Mm. I do find it a little exhausting trying to navigate the lines of what's canon, what shouldn't be canon (but is due to racism/sexism/homophobia/etc.), and just having fun.

I'm also trying to cultivate the mindset of what I've seen on Tumblr about not policing other people's ships/ideas. I am highly uncomfortable with some (particularly underaged people and adults dating), but I'm also not leaving hate comments. Like you said, the backspace exists for a reason.

Idk. There's a toooon of takes/ideas about the batfam that are inherently false, but as long as they aren't racist/sexist/etc takes, I don't see the harm in them. So what if someone wants a coffee obsessed Tim? So what if Jason's kill code is very strict? As long as they don't claim it's canon, let them be

But yeah. I have a mile long exclude list for fics on AO3. I used to use it only for triggers (I can not do stockhold syndrome, my lords), but now it's got other weird ass shit I've stumbled upon (I saw a fic where the batkids were spanked as punishment??? Like I said, not gonna leave hate comments or single anyone out. Just not my cup of tea).

I also am usually not a fan of romance/sex. It's why the batfam intrigued me so much (found families usually don't have that in it). I like exploring dynamics outside of romance and thus love the batfam. They've got so much going on that romance/sex is not needed. They are such a mess without that dynamic being added (talking about the Bats getting with a third party, but, again, trying not to yuck anyone's yum).

However, I agree. There's a ton of misinformation within fandom. I like how complex canon gets with the characters, but there's also widely different takes with them (mostly talking about Bruce here. He can either be trying or just a straight up horrible dad).

[youremyheaven]

Guessing BTS Rising Signs

hello besties. I made this post a long time ago and since then, we've had TWO Bts members reveal their birth times so I thought it would be interesting to look at the rest of the members in this context. Here's my old post if you're curious.

I'll mention the members with confirmed birth times so that we can get that out of the way:

Jungkook- Mula Rising

His birth time was confirmed to be 3:23 PM which makes him a Mula Rising and tbh I've always seen him as hella Ketuvian (he also has Magha Moon) and this just fits. Mula's dog yoni does give him that puppyish charm, kind of androgynous style and a very endearing, silly personality. Plus like I mentioned in my post about Nodal people and how child stars often have Nodal placements + often tend to be heavily tattooed/pierced, Jungkook joined Bighit when he was 13yrs old and made his debut at 15yrs and has a tattoo sleeve and hella piercings<33

He is Purvaphalguni Sun, Magha Moon & Mula Rising

Jimin- Pushya Rising

His birth time is confirmed to be 11:58pm. Although he did not specify AM or PM, he did say he was born around "dawn" and im assuming that means the dawn of a new day because 11:58 am is most definitely not the dawn of anything. I've always suspected that he had Cancer Rising because of his appearance, full lips, round cheeks and all that 🥺and also just how sweet and soft his demeanor is 🫶🏼

He is Chitra Sun, Rohini Moon & Pushya Rising

Now here are my speculations for the other members:

Jin- Shravana Rising/Purvashada Rising

purely based on his appearance i believe he has Moon influence because he's Jyeshta Sun & UBP Moon and i dont really see much of either (Jyeshta's rabbit yoni does come thru a little bit but I feel like his appearance is majorly influenced by something else??) He could also be Purvashada Rising and him being Venusian also makes sense to me but his no nonsense attitude, refusal to submit to anyone, how he acts as though he's better than others (most of the time, its just a joke and he is funny ngl) all comes down to Moon influence for me tbh and I def don't think he's Rohini or Hasta, his energy is harsher and more direct which makes me think Shravana

Yoongi- Ashlesha Rising

i def think he has a cat yoni (he is PBP Sun which gives him lion yoni/feline influence but there has to be more to it than just that) i used to see him as Punarvasu but now I lean more towards Ashlesha tbh, he does seem to have a rakshasa gana nak in his big 3, he's very discriminate about who he gives his time and energy to and that's very sidereal cancer of him. also im convinced that him and Namjoon have outcaste naks in their rising because of the kind of journey they've had from the underground rap scene to the biggest band in the world

Hobi- Ashwini/Bharani Rising

i think Hobi is an Aries Rising, like there's nooo way he does not have Aries influence (i know he's Krittika Moon) i think Bharani because its also an outcaste nak and BTS faced a lot of discrimination in so many different ways

Namjoon- Vishaka Rising

i used to be torn between swati and vishaka but now im pretty convinced he's Vishaka Rising lol, first of all he has Jupiter influence, just trust me on that

this is the cover of his first mixtape and he said his face is painted half-black because he feels that he's "half positive and half negative". if you've read anything ive written about Jupiter or watched Claire's vids on Jupiter you know that duality is a major Jupiter theme specifically the battle between good and evil. namjoon's lyricism also oscillates between opposites a lot. in seoul he sings about how "love and hate sound just the same to me" and all of these are extensions of his Jupiter influence. i know he has Venus & Jupiter in Swati but i dont think he has a Swati stellium because he's too balanced to have that much Rahu influence lol and even though he talks about struggling to maintain balance i think that's the Jupiter in him coming thruuu, Vishaka is also an outcaste nak and Namjoon has been the scapegoat for all kinds of hate for his whole career

Taehyung- Rohini Rising

i think he has a serpent yoni ngl and if he's Rohini rising then it will be conjunct Jimin's moon which makes sense tbh and he also seems Moon influenced because of how emotional he is.

A major reason why I've assigned Outcaste naks to majority of the members is because of how they were the outcasts/underdogs in the industry for so long and if the shoe fits...yk I dont think those themes would manifest for them as a collective if the majority of them did not have those placements

[sibylsleaves]

What happens after buck and eddie get together.

hello friend IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED

There are literally SOOOOOO many fun storylines that could come out of this but like, first of all, how do you even start a relationship that you're basically already in the middle of??? This is NOTHING like starting a relationship with someone new, or even someone you're casually friends with (as you could argue Buck and Taylor were) this is...starting a relationship when you already know that in the event of your death this is the person you want to raise your child. This is starting a relationship knowing this person has already seen you at the lowest of your lows, that this person knows EVERY intimate, embarrassing, silly detail about you. like yeah that's beautiful but I also think it would be surprisingly difficult to navigate.

Like. Especially if you're Buck and Eddie who both, in different ways, have such an idealized view of romance (I would actually argue Eddie more so than Buck in many ways). And yeah, i think they've done a lot of work to deconstruct that BEFORE they even get together, but it's still like...a complete rewiring of the way you operate in a romantic relationship and that's not going to happen overnight. They're going to stumble over little things that feel awkward or unnatural because maybe they're still trying to fit this into a more familiar version of romance before they realize they don't HAVE to do that. Do they just continue on the way they've been but now they kiss and have sex? Do they start going on dates? Do they start calling each other pet names? How much time is it acceptable to spend with a brand new romantic partner who is also the man named in your will to raise your child if you die AND ALSO your coworker who you see for 24 hours at a time. Do they have different ideas about the answers to these questions and how do they navigate THAT?

And speaking of being coworkers, is there gonna be conflict with the 118 because it's technically against policy for them to date and be on the same shift? Maybe one of them transfers to a different shift but oh no now they never see each other! Cue a storyline where they prove how good of a team they are and that the fire chief (or whoever) shouldn't force bobby to separate them. And also, their lives are SO intertwined that whenever a conflict arises it's like. Who am I supposed to get an outside perspective from? YOU are the person I always go to with my relationship problems. And literally everyone else I know is ALSO your friend. So potentially we'd get some opening up of more relationships on the show, particularly for Eddie who almost ALWAYS goes to either Buck or, less frequently, Bobby with relationship issues. (Buck still has Maddie) But like. Bobby is BASICALLY Buck's dad so???? and even Carla, who seems to be at this point lowkey written out of the show, knew Buck first!!!! Eddie either has to talk to his parents (difficult because they've never approved of his relationships in the past and I think it's still probably touchy subject for them), Pepa (i actually love this option but also she's a different generation and sometimes you really DO need the opinion of someone who intimately understands modern relationships. Or maybe we get Eddie rekindling his friendship with Linda, or getting closer with Karen (this is after they get trapped in a well together thanks ryan guzman).

And in general (stealing this from @try-set-me-on-fire's recent post about them fighting) HOW do they navigate conflict in their relationship because we really DONT see them have much conflict in their friendship, so what happens when a relatively small issue in their relationship blows up into something bigger just because they literally DONT KNOW how to argue with each other.

And I haven't even touched the Christopher of it all yet. I DO think there's juicy conflict to mine there, because as many people have said I could see there being real fear for him about what happens when/if this relationship implodes the way ALL Eddie's relationships have imploded. I think it could go one of many ways, but what's interesting for me here is Chris is NOT ten years old anymore. He's a teenager, and his emotions are way more complex than just "ANGRY AT DAD." I could see him saying he's fine with it but then acting out in other ways that make Buck and Eddie realize he's NOT actually fine with it (kind of mirroring how we saw in 7x01 Chris acting out by stringing girls along being a symptom of Not Being Fine about Shannon's abandonment). And how Buck and Eddie might have to actually WORK to even get to a place to have an honest conversation about what his fears are.

Anyway I just think there's so much new exciting storytelling ground for them once they get together this is just the tip of the iceberg

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could you do the TADC cast x reader with a really heavy southern accent?

TADC cast x reader w/ a heavy southern accent!

hello i am back from my silly little lunch break i made a sandwich it was very yummy i need to find a new set of music to listen to while typing, as much as i love jack stauber i think im going to go insane if i hear baby hotline one more time... oddly enough not the first time that specific song has driven me nuts from being overplayed anyways idk side note idk what to do with gifs because i keep running out of TADC gifs and i got a reblog months back on a crp post that implies that gif makers get notified when you use their gifs?? is that true?? if so i am so so so sorry to the tadc gif makers TToTT also still gif related but i keep getting. jumpscared by butts n boobs anytime i open the gif thing i cannot keep doing this!!!!

CAINE:

i think he would find it pretty, like, i dont know how to explain it! i think he would possibly mimic some of your speech mannerisms. probably gives you a cowboy hat. i dont know what it is but i think southern accents, at least from what ive seen, is one of the most romanticized of american accents... maybe its the whole rugged cowboy thing thats commonly associated with it. what im trying to say that i think caine would romanticize it the same way, thanks to him not really having the experience of going out and interacting with people from the south

he finds the accent pretty

POMNI:

i dont think she would really notice it unless she is really trying to pay attention to what you say. but maybe thats just self projection because i myself dont really notice other peoples accents unless its very prominent, or they say something that sounds so different to how im used to hearing things. i feel it would be the same with pomni, but i dont think she would treat you any differently! wish i had more ideas but pomni and gangle are particularly hard for me to write for some reason

RAGATHA:

honestly i like to hc that she grew up in a southern small town before getting stuck in the digital world, but of course she wouldnt remember it... perhaps she would feel some sense of familiarity around you anyways, even if she cant pin down why.. i think that would be nice... she likes listening to you talk

JAX:

writing these out of order, but i think jax would be similar to caine in the regard that he would tease some of your speaking mannerisms. "yaint! yall'd've!" stuff like that... which... i can be mad about because im from the south and the two examples are in my vocabulary... hes not really saying anything thats incorrect, at least in my case

probably asks why your digital form isnt a cowboy, shit eating grin on his face

KINGER:

thinks it sounds nice! for once i dont have any ideas for kinger, which sucks because i love kinger TToTT

your words probably rub off on him, i can see him probably picking up on some of your terms n slang

kinger saying yall isnt real he cant hurt you

kinger saying yall:

ZOOBLE:

similar to pomni they dont notice until theyre forced to notice.. no but imagine your accent becomes more pronounced when you get mad, you start saying more stereotypically southern stuff that people associate. probably does a double take if you say a rather insane variant of 'yall' but otherwise doesnt see much point in pointing it out

GANGLE:

absolutely loves hearing you talk, similar to ragatha! while ragatha clings onto your words thanks to unknown familiarity, gangle just thinks your voice sounds like and soothing, comforting! i dont know what it is but hearing someone trying to comfort you with a heavy southern accent as well as using casual terms of endearment (whether you see this as romantic or platonic is up to you!) in this soft tender voice just always hits different for me. maybe i am guilty of also romanticizing southern accents

[nevermorgue]

Hayley! I hope you're well! I come into your inbox to ask about your thoughts and opinions on each spectre, and your favorite ones! Love your blog! :D

HIIII!! I’m so fantastic thank YOU for coming in here. I love your art and your rambles.

My favorite spectres currently are Will’s and Duke’s. But I really love them all. I’ll go into the opinions now

Annabel’s Lady in White - I think she’s beautiful. I love her abilities and the whole bride thing she has going on. I at first wished her dress was more detailed but it’s fine to grow on me. I love the petals, and the hole in her chest is agonizing. Such a pretty spectre. kiss of death is just sooooo. idk her abilities are definitely one of my top favorites.

Morella’s Guardian Spirit - Plain-ish compared to the others, but still fantastic. I feel like her and Annabel are slept on because of how early they were revealed. I love how long her hair gets and the whole celtic vibe. and that she’s mainly defense with the healing and stuff! it’s very unique and it says sooo much about her past. if it were me i’d make her look a little less human wirh maybe more glowing or something but she’s still fabulous :)

Pluto’s Cryptid - im so so so interested in this because apparently domesticated cryptids are super rare? I wanna know more about the other cryptids poppet mentioned so badly. its so fucked that he has a collar too!!! he wanted to escape society but even in death it's like he's bound by the neck. I'm dying for info on that dumb coat too. He's so silly looking. I really wanna see his other abilities. I'll have a stronger opinion when that comes. Ada's Banshee

- I am dying to know what "Mark of the Grave" is so bad. And I love her confusing ass torso. Is she a shadow. is it a dress. I want to know. also LOVE how her limbs being detachable/having the stitch marks implies she was chopped up and buried like that. and her hat. thats a very "southern belle lady" sort of hat. she gets to be the lady she always wanted, just ugly and hideous!! love her and i love her spectre. "fear itself" is one of my favorite abilities and i hope she utilizes it more cough cough on will-

Prospero's Shadow Man - i am dying to know if he can take the mask off. imagine he's like. a sickly corpse looking kind of thing. like himself but rotting or weak as hell. i LOVE his abilities i just wish he had more detaaaailing. hes so cool and handsome though. i also think its super weird/cool how he has to activate his abilities with the stopwatch. i havent seen any other spectres have a "trigger point" like that. would he be rendered useless without it? Montresor's Dybbuk - nipple rings. sorry anyways - i love the chains. because it's not like he's using them, he's the one chained. and the whole. goat legs thing. bc goats are associated with the devil for some reason. I wonder why that is. idk i just love the whole demon thing. because he's been seen as such since like. his birth. and he cant even escape it in death. love it love his shit. his ability to force his way into peoples' memories is CRAZY too i cannot WAIT to see more of that. Eulalie's Chimera - SOOOO pretty. So aesthetically pleasing. I love how she can make stuff with her dreams!!! and the fact that its implied she can yank malevolent spectres back into their regular forms is soooo cool. and just the fact that she can neutralize other spectres in general is such a unique power. shes like defense similar to morella, just in a different way minus healing. i love her. i really dont dislike any spectre i just love them all. Berenice's Strigoi - I will forever be mad that her teeth count as an ability but WHATEVER. She's still badass. I can only imagine how it must feel to basically lose your hands. I'm really excited to see what "Bloodlust" as an ability does. like there are so many cool spectre abilities we havent seen in action yet. The bite that makes you drunk will forever be iconic too. I love her look and i love how her whole outfit is directly correlated to her time period. also love how like each mouth on her is like. its own being. she cant control it. Duke's Poltergeist - I need to like control myself because I will yap nonstop about this one. The NEONS the colors are just fantastic and I LOOOOVE HIS EYES. THE EYES. all of his abilities fuck so hard and i love how like. his "hypnosis" isnt really like full hypnosis its more like a very powerful suggestion? and he couldnt even figure out how to get ada out of it? like he didnt TELL her to use her ability on montresor, he just kinda planted the idea in her head. i also noticed that one of his abilities IS levitation despite us seeing other spectres float on multiple occasion. so the key difference here is the telekinesis portion of the power. just thought that was silly. love him. i love duke. he's my 2nd fave. Will's Doppelganger - i physically have to stop myself from writing a page's worth of bs here. He has DIRT IN HIS JOINTS. like he's DIRTY. like buried and forgotten!! and if he's dust bowl era like so many of us think, perhaps its that same dust. he was left buried in it...forgotten. unidentified. And and and he's SO OP. everyone IC is underestimating how he has one of the most powerful spectres. He was able to almost fool the misfits as duke, he honestly did a fantastic job. He has to memorize so much. like its genuinely impressive. and then his ribbons. notice how they wrap around HIM before/during use. like he's fucking tangled in in them too, not just his victims. i dont think he's ever been free. he's never not been wrapped up in someone else's shit. he's never been "william". i- i need to stop. hes the best. best spectre- and i pray that the characters realize how much POWER he really has.

[leincendiaire]

anyways salty thoughts. dont expect me to be nice

this is the one problem not exclusive to the finale, god ed's character arc just. didnt do it for me at all. I excused it before cuz I thought it would pay off as the season went on but nope. he never had a genuine apology moment, just that youtuber apology like gag and the cat collar joke. like they literally show us how the crew was completely scarred by his actions but theyre later just completely fine with him on board???? and stede keeps being his biggest stan when I think he would have been like hey what the fuck!! im sorry I hurt you but I am not responsible for your actions and you hurt my crew whom I hold very dear!! I love ed but Fuck he really went too far those first episodes and he never makes up for it. they only ever focus on His Own self journey, not how he hurt and traumatized practically every other character.

"well, I think narratively izzy's death made sense but—" no!! no it fucking didnt!! im sorry but it was just lazy writing!! they didnt know what to do with him so whoops he gets shot in the dumbest way possible. like, this aint my first rodeo, it aint the first time ive seen a character start off on their character journey to happiness only for writers to give up on it and kill them off. it's a tiring fucking trope tbh and I really wish they hadnt fallen into this trap. like his death scene wasnt good either, if youre gonna do it at least focus on his relationship with the crew, you know, the people he came to accept as family? not the man Who Shot Off His Fucking Leg And Almost Killed Him? I know they had an important relationship but that shit should have been talked about way beforehand, it deserved closure. they should have acknowledged they werent good for each other and made peace with it. izzy deserved a death with people who actually made him happy. ALSO THEY BURY HIM ON FUCKING LAND?????? he spent his life at sea!!!! he is the most devoted out of everyone to being a pirate and you bury him next to your fucking inn???? fucking twats istg

lastly I swear they forgot stede is the main character. they forgot literally everything about how to write him. he gets No Focus in the finale, and every scene he is in is bullshit. I actually wanted to punch my screen every time there was a joke about him being incompetent or whatever. like, hello??? thought we left that shit in s1??? he had Multiple Episodes about learning to be a pirate and adjusting to his new life and gaining more skills but no. he is just silly old loserboy for his cool war criminal boyfriend now. literally no skills or experience whatsoever. ok sure yea thats totally how he acted the rest of the season. also the fuck is it with him staying behind to run the inn with ed?? wasnt the whole conflict last episode their different desires out of life, with ed wanting to start a normal life and stede wanting to be a pirate?? when the Fuck did he change his mind. who are you and have you done with my boy

honestly I feel bad because jenkins is actually a good writer and the whole fandom really expected a lot from a man making his second show, and I think there were a lot of budget cuts and production issues so I can see why it turned out this way. he is probably mad about this too, I bet the cast also, like even the acting in this episode didnt feel passionate, and thats saying a lot since these actors really love this show. im just frustrated. man. time to write fics ig

[princessbrunette]

ok warning: this is going to be long, so feel free to skip it but i had to get this thought down: i am constantly thinking about being sarahs best friend and being into rafe. i mean, lets be real, if you friends with sarah, of course youd have a little crush on her hot, older brother. your probably a kook, your parents are friends with the camerons, so youve know sarah and rafe since you were a kid. you and sarah immediately hit it off, but rafe was always sort of a mystery to you, especially as you got older. he became more distant, more broody, a bit more mean. didnt show up as much to family dinners, didnt want to play dolls or games in the pool with you and sarah. you were a little sad, especially since you had a little crush on him, but it was ok, at least it wasnt sarah that was drifting away. as you got older, you saw less and less of rafe, just passing greetings and nods in each other directions. you remained a little biased towards him, saving a little soft spot in your heart for your childhood crush, but knew it was silly and useless. you basically went no contact when he went off to college, only seeing him at events and holidays. but, when the summer before your senior year approached, everything shifted. im not sure when he started thinking of you differently, when he stopped seeing you as sarahs annoying little friend. maybe when he saw how much you grew in a matter of months when he came back home for the camerons famous christmas party, his freshman year at college. he didnt know what it was, maybe all the wine he had drinken that night, maybe how the weather had gotten cold, maybe the suffocating air filled with obnoxious rich people, but the way that white, lacy dress hugged your curves, the way that fluffy little cardigan hung on my one button on you chest, he was obsessed. he was disappointed to overhear that you had gotten yourself a boyfriend, but not surprised with the way you had matured. when he went back for his second semester, you were constantly on his mind. seriously, when had you grown up so much? i mean, you had never been ugly, but shit. he thought of how you shouldent be wasting time with stupid high school boys, how they would most certainly not treat you right, not like he could. he knew they wouldnt be able to touch you he could, to make you scream like he could. he honestly felt a little perverted for thinking that way, given that you two practically grew up together, but he couldn't help it. he tried burying himself in mindless sorority girls to forget his newfound infatuation, but he definitely couldn't. in fact, i bet he imagined those girls were you, even accidentally calling them your name sometimes. so when ward offered that he could come home for the summer, rafe said yes with no hesitation. it was practically too easy, the way you walked around the house in a little bikini. all he had to do was give you a little look, his eyes glancing up and down with his trademark smirk, and he had you right where he wanted. you felt bad at first, since you were doing it behind sarahs back, but come on, were you really going to give up the opportunity with the guys whos always owned your heart? of course not, you told yourself. sarah would just have to understand, not that you would tell her anytime soon of course. but she was bound to find out, espcially with the way you and rafe were slowly getting less and less inconspicuous with your sneaking around. i mean, come on, fucking in the hot tub on the patio during his parents infamous 4th of july party is definelty not the way to go unheard of. and trust me, theres a lot more where that came from.

HELLO NOT U WRITING A WHOLE DRABBLE IN MY INBOX HEHEHHE this was so good u should write a fic on this😵‍💫

ugh but this concept is so juicy bc like….. the secrecy, betraying ur bestie by sleeping w her brother…. finally being seen by him in that way….. mhm i love it

[kalivasquezart]

Just wanted to say that I absolutely love your au about the Pioneer. Its so well thought out and just overall amazing and oh boy dont even get me started on your art— absolutely beautiful💖💕

I also am working on an au based off of Artis pups and when I found you I was like 🫢🫵 Very similar ideas 👀👀👀Also Hunter as Pioneer’s mentor is SUCH A COOL CONCEPT— Like like cause Hunters my favorite scug and the fact that you included him in your au and as Marbles’ mentor is just *squeals* but it also makes a lot of sense considering he comes a little bit after Arti and is one of the few scugs who can encounter pups in their campaign. I also wanted to ask if its okay with you if I use that idea/concept in my own au 👉👈

I was also thinking about Pioneer’s brother— Ik you said that you hc him as being dead, like officially, but I thought it would be interesting if he was still alive. I personally was inspired to let him live in my au simply because of some official art of Gorum (specifically his endings art especially the food quest one where he has a suspiciously familiar green slugpup). I was thinking something like what happened to Surv and Monk (the one-way pipe considering the fact that he kind of began to drift to the right as he sank) happened to him and Gorum found him. Idk these are just ideas Im using for my own au but thought I would share.

I just realized this is super long sorry HANDNAND I am insane and write too much

ahhhh thank you for the kind words skek YOU FLATTER ME~

[there are rain world spoilers regarding artificer's capaign below, be warned]

while my current headcanon is that the green pup died, i've been thinking very hard about it for the last week or so, and IMO there's a high chance i will retcon that. if the pipe thing is canon to Surv/Monk campaigns then i'm even more eager to adopt that idea. my only real hold-up about the pup was that we clearly see it drown in Arti's dream (the same flashing aura behaviour when you swim underwater), and if he really did drown then the only way to bring him back to life would be through karmic rebirth "last checkpoint save" kind of thing… which feels a bit cheap? a little too simple for me. i'm heavily biased here, because a while ago i read an interesting lore post of someone trying to explain why Arti's pups wouldn't "respawn" if they were killed, while Arti did. in short, the pups were too young to be bound by karma and so when they died, they died for good (reincarnated as a different creature, maybe) - but Artificer being an adult and already having experienced the urges before, was brought back. if i can, i will try to find that post again, and link it here.

ANYWAY yeah, personal AUs don't have to strictly comform to the game's canon, i keep forgetting about that. hell, i've seen people revive scav king or, i dunno, SOS from the dead, and they made it work.

speaking of my AU again, i may also have headcanon'd Arti's mate as a semi-aquatic scug (less freaky than riv tho), and so Bryn/green pup would have inherited some of those genes, making him more likely to survive the drowning. so yeah, i think i like the storytelling potential of keeping the pup alive, althought i'd have to sit down and do a proper brainstorming on what that means… when Arti and Marbles eventually reunite with their long lost other half of the family.

by the way, if you (or anyone else reading this post) wants to use my ideas in their own AU then i'm okay with that! no need to credit or anything. many people come up with similar concepts anyway, it'd be silly to try and police them on it.

[yumenotambourin]

do all 3 mouses for the character ask or im shaving elfilis 🪒🪒🪒

I'M SORRY I WAS TRAVELING YESTERDAY AM I STILL IN TIME TO SAVE THEM???

🩷First impression🩵

Elfilin

Very cute! I thought he was quite bland before release already, but I was like 100% sure that it was because the twist was gonna be that he was mass produced.

And then after finishing the game I had a little phase in which I hated him because he was super fucking plot important, yet he didn't do anything and this made me angry, lol

Forgo

As soon as my eyes landed on it, I thought it was Elfilin after some horrific experimentations. But then they showed the actual Elfilin lmao. I thought it was really cute and I didn't want to fight it, thank god it transformed before we fought it. Then I was just awestruck.

Also my mom randomly asked me what it was and I didn't know what to say so I just said something like "a mental parasite species"

Elfilis

The first thought that crossed my mind after seeing them was "oh god they have my exact favorite color scheme I'm gonna be obsessed with them, aren't I?". Breathtakingly beautiful, of an angelicity(?) never seen before from Kirby. Throughout April 2022, I occasionally woke up in the morning wondering wether they were just a dream. The fact that something like them existed in the Kirby universe was astonishing to me.

🩷Impression now🩵

Elfilin

I still think he's severely underdeveloped, but I'm more cool with that now. He's cute and silly and fun, he's a nice contrast to Forgo, and generally an adorable sidekick. Tho I wish there was more of him.

Forgo

Baby. It's very cute, strikes pretty well the balance between creepy and goober, and the superior gemini in my opinion. I like putting it in situations :3

Elfilis

A MOUS!!! As magnificent as the first time I saw them. Except they're now my muse, my guardian angel. My view of them has kinda shifted from "stereotypical perfect lifeform" to "the embodiment of life itself", which kinda recontextualizes them, especially given how hard each mous fought to stay alive, and I find that very inspirational.

I love Elfilis.

🩷Favorite moment🩵

They don't have that many moments so uuuuh

Elfilin

Finding the Light! Perfect way to end the mouces' arc, and goes to show how much of a sweetheart he is.

Forgo

The iconic "everything shall be consumed" is iconic

Elfilis

The only thing that they do, their boss fight 😭 it's stunning and I find myself replaying it more often than normal

🩷Idea for a story🩵

Elfilin

Definitely a plotline where they tackle that he can learn something from Elfilis and/or Forgo as well. I don't like how y'all treat him like he's perfect.

Forgo

I'd like to see it getting used to living a normal happy life :3 the baby has suffered enough

Elfilis

ELFILIS PROLOGUE PLEASE!!! About how they attacked earth and stuff and their capture and maybe even Neichel cameo!!!

(I will not let you forget about Neichel)

🩷Unpopular opinion🩵

Elfilin

As I said before, I hate when people make him out to be this little goody-two-shoes without a single flaw who's juts the embodiment of niceness and kindness and will always do the right thing. Like no??? It's not all black and white! Let him be a proper multilayered character! Let him make mistakes and learn from others! Let him learn from his literal other half!!!

Forgo

Whenever someone says that Forgo is Elfilis an angel loses their wings. Starting from the fact that the game heavily implies if not downright states (I'm on plane I can't check I forgor) that Elfilis = Forgo + Elfilin, why would anyone choose to take two different characters in different situations with likely two different outlooks (ELFILIS WAS SPLIT INTO TWO FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLOT!!! ELFILIS HAS THE HERO OF THE STORY INSIDE THEM!!!) and reduce them to a single, more limited being? Plus, most people with this headcanon are also the "Elfilis/Forgo is pure evil and an irredeemable monster!!!!" people who also really piss me off. Like yeah okay YOU chose to headcanon the traumatized baby and the insane mous as the same character. YOU are the one taking away all the nuance they could possibly have. Also as I said before THATS A TRAUMATIZED BABY!!!

Elfilis

I strongly dislike the headcanon that Elfilis absorbs other creatures into their dna. I feel like it ruins a lot of the charm they have, at least for me, by making their ethereal presentation be stolen from other creatures rather than it just being who they are. Also, while I am a Good Elfilis defender, I love the idea of them destroying planets for fun. It just goes to cement how otherworldy and above it all this creature is. So yeah, I feel like this headcanon takes away a lot of their appeal for me personally.

I also don't like when people make them always angry and grumpy, like do you realize half of them is Elfilin?

🩷Favorite relationship🩵

This is entirely headcanon-based as the mouces don't really interact with anyone besides Elfilin with Kirby

Elfilis and Elfilin and Elfilis and Forgo. More than the three of them together, I prefer each baby mous with Elfilis on their own.

I'm gonna briefly summarize my hc dynamics for them cause I love mice.

Elfilis and Elfilin - Elfilin

As I said before, Elfilin's feelings on his big sibling are very conflicted. On one hand, he feels safe with them, and looks up to them. On the other hand, he fears them. The fact that they just wipe out planets without second thought disturbs him. Although he'd never admit it to himself because he loves them so much. Elfilis, however, is very much aware of Elfilin's feelings. And as much as they're devastated by the guilt of having hurt their little ones so much, they dismss Elfilin's compassion as naivete due to his young age and time spent with the beasts. They're sure he will outgrow it one day and see his superiority, ans in the meantime they remind him that he's their little one and that they'll always love him.

Elfilis and Forgo - Forgo

Forgo sees itself as nothing but a temporary form of Elfilis, unworthy of being seen as anything but. And it's not taking this whole "coexisting with the actual Elfilis" all that well. If the actual Elfilis exists, what purpose does Forgo have? This sends them down an existential crisis. Elfilis doesn't like that. And they're desperate to help it break free from these beliefs. Also, Forgo always saw Elfilis in a very idolized way, as a ruthless monstrous destroyer. But that's not all there is to Elfilis, they can be a little silly sometimes. And Forgo is SEVERELY disappointed. It often calls them an idiot and then feels bad about it because nobody should be reproaching the almighty Fecto Elfilis. Also it exclusively refers to them as "Great One".

🩷Favorite headcanon🩵

Elfilin

Can I be honest? No fucking clue. Maybe that Elfilis teaches him how to fight?

Forgo

I'll make it quick so as not to repeat myself, that it sees itself as nothing more than a temporary form of Elfilis.

Elfilis

The idea that they have no motivation is very important to me. Specifically that they do things purely out of enjoyment. That they're just a force beyond our comprehension who sees everything as insignificant and is just trying to have fun.

ALSO THAT THEY LOVE EACHOTHER VERY MUCH!!!

[z0mbiekisses]

I can’t remember if I’ve requested anything so here I am!! Helloooooo 👋

I’d love a fic where it’s josh x reader and he notices she kinda changes her personality around her friends and confronts her about it at home. She breaks down explaining that she doesn’t really know who she is as a singular person and he offers to help her figure it out. They try lots of different hobbies (including making music ft Tyler hehe) and she feels a lot better. Lots of angst pleaseeeeee

Thank you bestie 🙌🙌

HAII BFFF!!! TYSMM FOR REQUESTING!! i LOVE LOVE this idea, this reminds me of a character arc ive seen in a show, so i was excited to write this!!

i’m so sorry for my inactivity 😣 life has been hectic as of late, but writing helps me escape for a bit<3. i hope yall enjoy this!

IM A MIRRORBALL !

me and josh have been going out for a few months now. i can confidently say he’s one of my favorite people ever. he holds the door open for me, he makes sure to always call if he’s not around. which is where because his favorite place to be is right beside me. josh always tells me i’m beautiful, everyday. he’ll dance around with me no matter where we’re at. there’s so many things about him i just adore. and there’s so many things about our relationship that brings me happiness. but one of the most important things is i felt like i could be myself around him. well.. mostly. i’m not too sure who i am sometimes. but josh always makes me feel safe. we’re getting ready to meet up with some of my friends to this farmer’s market. honestly, i wasn’t as i should be. i couldn’t exactly figure out why. but i pushed my feelings to the side and put on a cute outfit.

everything started off great, seeing my friends was always nice. and they all loved josh. one of the stands were selling cocktails. i didn’t like drinking, not to say i never do. but i tried to stay away from it most of the time. but my friends all got one, and i didn’t want to look like the odd one out, so i got one as well. despite it being strawberry, and me not liking strawberries. this earned an eyebrow raise from josh. i found myself trying to mimic their poses when we took pictures. i normally give a silly thumbs up or a peace sign while having a big grin. these photos i kicked my leg up and did everything to hide my smile. i didn’t want to look stupid next to my friends.

“come on y/n smile!” josh spoke from in front of us, holding the phone. all i did was a small little grin. there became a point during our endeavors where josh & i didn’t really speak to each other. i didn’t bother to say anything though, i’m sure it wasn’t a big deal. i was focused on my friends.

“y/n didn’t you hear sarah cheated on her boyfriend with her ex?!” my friend alana looked over to me. i didn’t like gossiping. especially about people i didn’t know. you never know people’s situations or what they’re going through. it’s something i always tried to stay away from. it was a quality josh appreciated about me. but in this situation, i suppose it was okay.

“what?! her ex of all people?” i gasped dramatically which made alana laugh.

“yes her ex nathan who posted that embarrassing video of her drunk dancing on a kitchen island.” my other friend emma chimed in. the three of us were walking next to each other while josh walked behind us. i didn’t even realize he was left out.

“did you ever see it y/n?”

“no i haven’t actually.” and with that emma pulled out her phone and showed poor sarah drunk out of her mind. sloppily dancing on the kitchen island while everyone had their phones out. until she slipped and spilt her drink all over herself. i felt awful, she clearly wasn’t in her right mind. that was actually the same night she found out her grandma was sick in the hospital with cancer. i could’ve stuck up for her, i should’ve. yet i found myself laughing along with them. nodding my head along to their insults. shortly after we all parted ways. the car ride home with josh was unusually quiet.

“josh are you okay?” all josh did was shrug and turn up the radio. i nervously fidgeted with my rings, which i left in the center console when we got to the farmers market because i didn’t want my friends to think they were ugly. when we got to josh’s place he finally spoke to me,

“what happened today?”

“what do you mean?”

“you were acting different y/n.” i raised my eyebrow. trying to play dumb, though i knew deep down what josh was getting at.

“i was just hanging with my friends-“ i tried to defend myself. but josh wasn’t buying it.

“which included making fun of sarah?” josh brought up. i looked away from him trying to figure out what to say.

“i wasn’t making fun of her, they were talking about i was just making conversation.” i protested.

“you could’ve stuck up for her, you know what happened that day y/n.” josh’s eyes weren’t filled with anger or anything. he just seemed.. disappointed. i didn’t know what to say.

“it wasn’t just today y/n, everytime we hang out with your friends it’s like you’re a totally different person.” i felt my hands began to shake. my heart was slowing beginning to move faster and faster.

“it’s because i don’t even know who i am!” i shouted. josh frowned. he walked over to me and held my shaking hands in attempt to calm me down.

“that’s not true y/n.” i cut josh off,

“it is. all i do is pretend with everyone in my life!” i pulled my hands away from josh. my self sabotaging mechanisms coming out. i couldn’t let him help me because i felt like i didn’t deserve it. i don’t deserve it.

“i act a certain way with everyone so i can fit in. so they can’t hate me.” at this point tears were falling down my cheeks and my voice was hoarse. josh’s eyes were watery. i could tell he wanted to help me. but for some reason i wasn’t making this easy.

“y/n you’re so perfect the way you are. i love you for who you are.”

“that’s impossible because i don’t know even who i am.” there was a moment of silence. you could hear a hair pin drop. yet my head was screaming. i couldn’t stand there any longer, i hauled out the door. slamming it behind me. the one person who actually had some of idea who i am i just shut out. i didn’t understand why i always did this? it never made anything better. i’ve lost so many people because of this. once they get close, i do everything i can to keep them out. ruining my own life everytime. it was always my fault.

that night josh & i didn’t sleep much. without each other knowing, we both looked at our phones. wanting to call or text one another. but we didn’t. too scared of what the possible outcome would be. i sat on my couch mindlessly watching some reality tv show. desperate to block out the mess in my head. until i heard a knock on the door, i opened it to see josh standing there, his eyes were tired and sympathetic. he pulled me into his arms. his warm embrace reminding me why i’ve been getting out of bed each morning. desperately trying to hold on to that safe feeling he brings me. i quietly mumbled a “sorry” in his chest while i sobbed. honestly, i didn’t think he’d show up. it was easy for me to shut people out because most people never tried to fight it. not even bothering to look back. i don’t blame though, sometimes i didn’t feel good enough to second guess. so the fact josh was here, it meant EVERYTHING to me. he held me on the couch. playing with my hair & rubbing my back until i could gain my composure. how’d i get so lucky i didn’t even know.

“i’m so sorry..”

“it’s okay baby we all get a little lost sometimes.” i looked up at him. josh smiled softly. he pushed back a strand of hair behind my ear.

“you know what’s really helped me figure out who i am is drumming.” i furrowed my eyebrows. josh wasn’t cocky by any means. but he was pretty sure of himself. and to think drumming was the solution kind of blew my mind.

“really?”

“yeah! maybe we can find something you enjoy doing, it won’t hurt to try.” i nodded listening to josh.

“you mean it?” i frowned and josh kissed my forehead mumbling a “mhm.” and that started our endeavors. who know hobbie hunting was so hard. i was a bit of perfectionist, so when i wasn’t immediately good at something i’d get discouraged. it was hard trying all these things while i still felt the same. i tried crocheting but it was a bit too complicated. me & josh would make jewelry but, everytime i dropped the string and the beads everywhere i wanted to slam my head on the table. josh took me to play basketball with him, but i was never too good at sports. and the heat made me MISERABLE. maybe josh was wrong, maybe i was too set in my ways to change. josh decided to bring me over to tyler’s studio. i loved hanging out with them while they worked on different projects. just watching them work was an amazing sight to see, they’re both so talented. this time around though i was more quiet. josh had went to grab some water when tyler approached me.

“you okay y/n? i don’t usually see you this quiet.” i let out a deep breath.

“yeah just going through some things.. midlife crisis stuff.” tyler chuckled lightly.

“that sucks you’re not even 40 yet.” i smiled at him. tyler always knew how to cheer people up, he was also very empathetic. i don’t open up easily, but with tyler it’s almost natural. and he actually understands, it doesn’t feel forced or complicated.

“do you sing by chance?” i shrugged my shoulders,

“a little. i used to do open mics when i was a teenager. back when i was more ambitious and talented..” i felt bad. i didn’t want to be a mood killer. but i felt like there was this constant rain cloud over my head, and i couldn’t stop it.

“i think you’re very talented y/n.” i rolled my eyes. i figured tyler was just trying to be nice.

“i actually asked josh if you could come today. i’ve heard you sing in the car before, you have a really great voice. i was wondering if you could do some back up vocals for us?” tyler asked softly. i couldn’t believe it. i’ve always liked singing, but i didn’t think i had much potential. and who was i to tell tyler no. so i walked in the recording booth, and put on my headphones. i could see in the corner of my eye tyler and josh smiling. not only that, i was actually happy. i forgot how much i actually enjoyed singing. all of those feelings i had in high school came back to me. when i walked out of the booth, josh hugged me.

“you guys are evil.” i chuckled pulling away to look at him.

“y/n you killed it! thank you again.” tyler smiled. i nodded my head,

“of course, thank you guys for being there for me.” i had not only found my spark again. but i’ve found people who knew me for me. i didn’t have to act a certain way to please them or try to fit in. they loved me for me.

[suffarustuffaru]

Scrolling through your blog is such a fun experience, you bring an absolutely great vibe to this fandom and I love it SO MUCH. Could even say you restored my hope in it, since there has been some aspects that made me force myself to leave it, and I hope me bringing one of them up here won't upset anyone.

Now I completely understand if you wish to not answer my ask, but I figured it's worth a shot. So, one of said aspects was a controversy regarding one of the rezero characters that made me feel like you can't mention them without being called names (mostly on tiktok, but other social media also, tho not as much).

Yeah I'm talking about Felix. I'm not transphobic by any means, and I'm fine with people headcannoning whatever they want, but seeing thousands of people calling others transphobic for calling Felix a 'he' made me so unsafe I forced myself to look for other interest. Which is funny since most of the people saying this weren't even part of the fandom. I was wondering if anyone else here had similar situations and just.. how do you deal with it? It seems silly, I know, but feeling like I can't speak about a rather important character from a media I love made me so upset.

No matter how much I tried explaining it, they either dismiss it or say Tappei made him a trans girl without knowing.

Now, if you do decide to answer this and say that Felix indeed may have been 'trans coded' a little bit (Did I used that term correcly? Idk) I'll understand (hell, I would probably agree, you character analysis are great), I'm just upset at the absolute lack of respect for any other way of referring to Felix other then she/her.

(Also in case people don't know, their proof of Felix being a trans girl is the scene from EX1, with the whole calling himself a girl in front of a mirror thing)

Sorry for this is being long and probably messy I just had to get this off my chest.. also I hope I didn't came of as offensive in any way, if I did I'm really sorry.

hi there anon! first of all - aw thank you for your compliments about me and my blog. im super passionate about rezero (though thats probably super clear to anyone whos seen any content i make for a while aljsdlkf) and well. ive been lurking about in this fandom since summer 2020 so i definitely understand having to leave/distance yourself from this fandom because outside of tumblr, the rezero fandom is kind of . well. to put it simply, theres a lot of metaphorical landmines unfortunately!! T^T and admittedly i wouldve left this fandom a lot sooner if i didnt stick to my own corner and curate spaces with other people who were super chill (like lots of people lurking about here on tumblr + rz tumblr in general!!). so i totally understand how you feel anon (and youre not silly for being upset, i promise!), though admittedly im not super super familiar with some rezero spaces (such as rz twitter) bc i 1. dont speak japanese and 2. i try very hard to avoid the negativity whenever possible!! T^T

and also i apologize for taking a while to answer your ask!! you're one of my older asks that kinda got lost in my drafts hah but i also just wanted to like. take extra care with your ask bc its a super important topic. like not just to me (though its definitely important to me) but its important in general. and i really like felix so. <3

a quick disclaimer is that i myself am not transfem. i am however afab and most likely genderqueer!! (im winging it as i go hah.) felix is also not a character id say im as well-versed in yet, but i do like felix a lot and ex1 changed my entire brain chemistry. and ill also be defaulting to he/him pronouns in this post because thats what he uses in canon.

felix is - at the end of the day - a fictional character, and tappei is a cis man who doesnt Entirely write characters like felix through a queer lens. arguably tappei is Self-Aware when he writes characters who are into other characters of the same sex (though the Representation is arguably a little bit questionable at times depending on how you look at it), but when it comes to characters like felix or subaru who have some Gender Stuff going on, it's more nebulous there. i dont know if tappei 100% realizes he's made characters that could be read as Trans/Genderqueer (emphasis on "read as", because i support different interpretations of these characters), but tappei Definitely Is Very Aware that gender and gender presentation and gender roles are super important when it comes to characters like felix, subaru, and crusch.

i think tappeis own perceptions of gender and gender roles do bleed a bit into the text as much as tappei is pretty purposeful with themes surrounding gender in rezero, but rezero itself still has all sorts of identity issues to explore with a lot of its characters and gender is a big part of that!!

so first and foremost im gonna be examining felix the best i can Purely Off Of The Canon Text, though i do like viewing rezero from a queer lens myself (and it is arguably very queer). im gonna talk first about felix and then ill move onto talking about my personal feelings on rezero fandom stuff :o !!

so felix's relationship with his gender is complicated and he Absolutely does not fit into traditional gender roles or gender presentation right now. these are undeniable. and if people headcanon felix as transfem thats totally understandable and valid!! but to say a headcanon is 100% canon and that other interpretations of a character as complex as felix are invalid isnt exactly it. for sure. i mean i myself interpret him as nonbinary haah. but felix's relationship with gender is so so so So complicated that i dont think you could just say hes transfem and then Not Elaborate More.

but regardless of how Exactly you label felix, i think you could possibly say that hes trans coded. tappei, even if he probably doesnt entirely know hes made pretty genderqueer characters, is Aware and Purposeful of how gender affects felix and his perception of himself and his identity and other peoples perception of him and this is brought up Over and Over Again in canon—felix’s gender identity, at the moment, aligns more with femininity in his presentation in every way, though he still perceives himself as masculine. felix’s case is complicated, and while im not entirely sure on this i think you could argue that hes trans coded—“coding” suggests a level of intent when making these characters, and i think that intent is present in some way with tappei. because tappei Knows just how important gender is with felix’s character and you can tell with how often and how Integral it is to felix’s entire character.

(more under the cut) (i do have a habit of being rambley/wordy sometimes if. if you couldnt tell already. but i hope this response is up to your standards!!)

these three analysis posts on felix's relationship with gender have all discussed this topic in-depth before i have, and i 1. really like the rezero content i see from all three of these people and 2. they All have slightly different takes based on the canon we have but also some similar points. because felix is complicated!! of course our takes are probably gonna be a bit different - he's a multifaceted character with such a complex relationship with his gender that it's hard to tell what every single one of his personal feelings on it is (especially when at the moment he hasnt appeared in the main story since arc 5 and he still has a Lot of character development to do). and of course fiction is fiction, we can all take away any sort of meaning from a story like this.

but you know. this is my post so im gonna try to analyze felix right now and say my two cents on what i think of his relationship with gender.

so im gonna try not to retread too much on what liquidstar, sufferu, and gourmet of gluttony have already said about felix (and i think theyre all very smart people with interesting analysis posts and theyve all explained their thoughts pretty well) and instead add on with my own thoughts - theres this felix excerpt from arc 4 wn that i think about sometimes. im gonna put it down here!!

and also important to note—like other people have mentioned, crusch and felix made a “deal” of sorts in the past where crusch takes on felix’s masculinity and felix takes on crusch’s femininity. and also like other people have said—and i myself have said in the past—i do have some mixed feelings on this wkdndn and as i said before also i do wish tappeis feelings on gender bled a little less when theyre Not Integral To The Story. bc i dont think tappei 100% knows hes made trans coded characters, but. anyway yeah so thats the whole deal with crusch felix. and in its own right i think it has So Many Interesting Implications!!

i think when it comes down to it, gender presentation IS a bit of a performance, isn't it? like i love to wear dressses and skirts and i love to keep my hair short and wear suits, but you know - these sorts of things tend to be gendered. our gender is often perceived through how we present ourselves, but in recent years gender roles being attached to clothing has gotten a bit less Rigid. but these rigid roles associated with presentation are even more dialed up to Eleven in a medieval world like the rezero fantasy world. and i dont use the word "performance" in a negative way -

what i mean is that when it comes to felix's character, does felix think he's a boy because that's what he's been told? does he think he's a boy because he TRULY sees himself that way, or does he THINK he has to see himself as one? does felix try to present and perform femininity, ie as or like a traditionally feminine girl, purely ONLY for crusch's sake, or is it because felix ALSO WANTS to? what does felix think of gender outside of crusch? who is felix outside of crusch? who is felix outside of tying his entire personality to other people? does felix’s femininity show the “radiance of ferris’ soul” bc of the deal he made with crusch or bc this truly is felix’s soul? these are like the big questions behind his entire character and character arc that would determine in the end how felix identifies in both his gender and In General.

so what is felix's identity at the moment? bc right now, felix is stuck between his feminine self, tied to crusch, a symbol of crusch, tied to his own reliance on crusch and worship of her—and his masculine self, someone broken off from crusch. felix is tied to crusch right now to worrying extents with his obsessive devotion to the point of changing himself to mold into her image, and beyond that, hes still tied to guilt surrounding fourier’s death. gourmet of gluttony puts all of this way way more intelligently than i ever could, but at the end of the day, i think the best narrative decision here would be for felix to accept himself in ALL of his entirety.

healing in rezero is noted to be a kind power, specifically by fourier and fourier saying this right to felix when hes the most talented healer in lugunica, and healing itself is often stereotypically feminine activity. knighthood is stereotypically masculine, and on top of all this, we see in ex1 that biehn argyle twists the power of healing into something grotesque—trying to bring back the dead and revive what cant be revived, which is once again another reoccurring theme in rezero.

how far can “from zero” go? what HAS to stay dead and what can be revived? who is allowed to live? HOW do you live freely? felix is someone born from a horribly abusive and neglectful family who twisted healing magic’s kindness into cruelty, felix is someone who was taken into a family that showed him kindness and now hes desperate to pay them back with everything he has and everything he is, felix is a healer who lashes out when hes cornered and a healer who treasures life and a knight who cant physically fight like the others, felix is someone stuck with the horrible knowledge that he cant save everyone—that some things just Couldnt end better no matter how much he wished for it to.

felix is stuck between all kinds of worlds, and in terms of gender, hes quite literally still stuck between boyhood and manhood in the biological sense—hes purposefully made it so that he hasnt hit puberty yet so he can better pass as feminine. he hasnt Physically Grown past puberty—which is the mark of becoming an adult. and he hates himself in a number of ways, but he also hates himself for failing to be traditionally masculine. his abusive family stole ten years of his life and the torture left him physically weaker, so he cant be strong physically, which is something associated with traditional masculinity. felix is the best healer, a traditionally feminine job and skill, but he cant save everyone. felix becomes more feminine as part of his deal with crusch, but while crusch accepts her femininity and masculinity readily, and while crusch’s memory is erased by gluttony—felix is left behind, alone, still holding onto femininity while not entirely being able to hold onto it while he also cant entirely hold onto the traditional masculinity he expects out of himself. and with arc 3 on, felix feels hes failed both fourier and crusch. the two most important male and female figures in his life.

felix is basically stuck in this liminal space where hes not Enough for himself in literally every direction, and the only way out is to accept every part of himself and move forward by trying to define who he is without other people—his birth family and his found family dont define him. they can shape him, sure, but he has to stop shaping himself to meet them and figure out how to let himself just. Be. and take up a space thats firmly his. from a queer lens, this kind of thing is pretty queer—because to stop being in between worlds, you have to accept everything instead of splitting yourself into halves over and over again. killing or maiming yourself or parts of yourself is no way to live, and felix is Life itself.

and i think regardless of the Exact Labels you could give felix, i think his arc—which is perfectly in line with all of rezeros themes—is inherently about self acceptance and the bridging of the gap and combination of femininity and masculinity. felix is both and identifies, in one way or another, with both, similar to how he loves someone who identifies with both (crusch) and just as hes loved her and fourier. imo it wouldnt be right for felix to choose one or the other in terms of feminine vs masculine—he needs to be the one learning and navigating his honest feelings on both sides bc i think he Yearns to be both. hes a boy who dresses like a girl and its up to him to know if he wants to be a man and/or a woman due to his own internal desire or if parts of that is Only due to external pressures.

--

and alright now that ive said all my thoughts on felix atm im gonna address the other questions you had in your ask!! note that this is just my opinions and thoughts regarding my own experience in the english fandom, you dont have to agree or anything 👍

but i AM very sorry about your negative experiences in this fandom. T^T people calling other transphobic for using he/him for felix (and also people being transphobic about characters like felix or subaru/natsumi in general) is something ive seen as well. the rezero fandom is sadly very often toxic and Bigoted in a lot of ways (with the exception of rezero tumblr and certain segments of rezero ao3, from what ive seen), which is Ironic for a story thats so clearly about love and self-acceptance, which is also ironic because arguably tappei and otsuka and the rezero marketing team (i Love the female characters in rezero but theres just so much sexualized or vaguely sexist merch/moments that dont add to the story, you know? kind of just. misses the point of their characters sometimes.) sort of contribute to it a little bit as much as tappei does do some really great things with his writing.

rezero is the first fandom ive been active in but its definitely not the first ive ever been in, and ive been in some insane fandoms before. like i said earlier though, i think i just cope by curating my experience to what i like, yknow? liking posts i enjoy, looking at stuff i enjoy, etc :O !! fandom is a hobby so i try not to look at negative stuff when i can help it wkdnd. which im sure youre aware about already but i always have to keep reminding myself of this bc places like rezero reddit or twitter get pretty rough!! but its really helped me just following artists and creators i like, enjoying their content, chatting with cool people i vibe with, rezero tumblr being the chillest rezero space in the whole fandom, and its also helped me a lot making rezero content of my own—like this whole blog!! its really shocked me how much people seem to value my thoughts enough to ask me things frequently but i appreciate it pfft. and i hope you guys like reading my posts!!

but yeah like. curate, curate, curate. it helps a LOT and it gets me excited to experience rezero not only by myself you know? not that i didnt have fun by myself but its its own level of fun finally finding spaces to have fun with others!! and i LOVE finding beautiful fanart!! chef’s kiss. and trying to be the change i want to see is satisfying on its own :,) i want to post random shit about rezero, so i post it. i want to make fanart for fun and share it. i want to brute force people into loving otto more so i ottopost (dont worry, i still hate him bc true otto fans also hate him at the same time <3 /lh). i want more queer rezero content so i try to make some more!! brings more personal power i think and its very fun!! and it helps with lessening the quiet despair of fandom toxicity ;-;; (which is something ive done many times and will continue to do sometimes so i feel your pain 🫂) and i promise theres cool people in the fandom 👍 i may reply late to asks or dms but im ALWAYS down to talk about rezero things its so fun 👍👍

and its really really hard sometimes to deal with fandom toxicity especially if its forcefully knocking at your door—definitely dont force yourself to stay or look at things if you cant, bc thats totally understandable!! and i myself have been harassed a little in the past. but definitely having some sort of coping—the block button, backing out of things you dont agree with or like, lots and lots of curating, etc—helps me a lot. and i think mental health wise i feel much better trying to look on the bright side of things!! its MY hobby goddammit!! ill fight people subaru-style if they try to poison it!! and however long anyone reading this decides to spend with rezero and rezero tumblr—you are welcome here 👍

but yes my very Long rambling aside - i hope this post somewhat helped you!! felix is a very important character that i like very much and need to learn more about and i have Many Feelings on the english side of this fandom, but im very grateful to all the cool people ive met over the years here for sure!! :o

also ill probably post the finished version soon but if youve read this far here is a sneak peak of felix art i did recently (just as a reward for once again reading all of my Endless Yapping)👍👍