#i am ready for my life to be over after the new season premieres

[deppiet]

First Cosplay Ever!

Hello, world.

I am back on this *hellsite* after like four years because me and my partner did a thing, and it's this thing.

We did our very first cosplay ever, from stolen time off our -crappy, depressing- jobs, we bought clothes, customised our wigs, painted new faces on our ordinary, everyday, boring ones, and ta-da.

Good Omens is my favorite book and his favorite show. Since he is, very decidedly, the better person, and despite the perennial baby face, I am a bit of a *bastard* there was no doubt as to who was going to be who.

The people at ComicDom Con athens were so warm and supportive! We were honestly terrified people wouldn't recognise us, or that we'd do something wrong, but turns out nerds in Greece are as much into Good Omens as as nerds everywhere else. Who knew?

(They were squealing and running towards us as if we were the literal actual award-winning actors David Tennant and Michael Sheen. Fandom is the best, I thought, and, are they supposed to do that?!?)

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#1: The Hand (1.01)

The level of excitement, anxiety, joy, and anticipation I felt just before pressing play on the TOWL premiere was so high. My Richonne was finally coming back. 🥹 And man did they just snatch my heart for an entire hour with their return. I already knew seeing them again would be euphoric, but it was even more than I could have guessed. And the TOWL premiere dives right in with a very emotional, wild, and impactful first few minutes...

When deciding on a deadline for having these RIR: Towl Edition posts ready, I figured today, July 22, would be a great kickoff day since it's the anniversary of when The Ones Who Live was first announced at SDCC. 👌����😊

I remember where I was the day I first saw the TOWL announcement in 2022. I was in the middle of moving to a new place and saw an article pop up on my phone with a picture of Andy and Danai hand in hand at Comic-Con. I was just happy to see them.

And then I looked down at the article’s headline and saw they were there to announce that there would be a Rick and Michonne miniseries. 🤩 I was already overjoyed by that, but then, my joy just skyrocketed even more when I saw that they were coming back specifically for a miniseries focused on Rick and Michonne’s “epic love story” with Andy, Danai, and Scott as co-creators and executive producers. 😍

I knew we were about to have an absolute feast with this show our captains cooked up - and feast we most certainly did. This 6 episode miniseries is a six-course meal. 🍽

And I think TOWL is excellent on its own and has a lot of widespread appeal but when I’ve seen people say The Ones Who Live felt like it was particularly for the Richonne fans, there’s also a very clear explanation for that: the show was made by three Richonne fans. Scott, Andy, and Danai…they’re us. 😋

And I am so grateful to them for the beautiful gift that is The Ones Who Live. 😌

So this first post is a bit longer because I gotta come out the gate extra and even offer up some thoughts on the TWD clips that they included just before the premiere starts. I really liked how it sets up TOWL and highlights the power of Richonne’s relationship. 

They start by showing the iconic pilot shot of Rick on his horse riding along the barren side of a freeway as we hear his voice say, “We tell ourselves we are the walking dead.”

And then they include the iconic shot of Michonne’s TWD entrance from season 2.

They then show a clip from season 6, just a few episodes before Richonne would be canon. In the clip, Michonne is on the patio with Rick (and his elevator eyes) as she helps him see, “We’re in here together.”

I love this because in reminding Rick that they’re alive and breathing right here and now and have the room to make ASZ home it shows how Michonne was the one who helped change Rick’s motto from “We’re the walking dead” to “We’re the ones who live.” It’s one of the many ways she changed his life. 😌

They show some Say Yes moments, and you know I love that Richonne episode down. Seeing them use clips from the beloved 7.12, I remember just marveling over how years ago we were so excited just to get a single episode focused on Richonne and now we were gearing up to watch a whole miniseries dedicated to them. 🥰 Never getting over that blessing.

Rick says, “We’re gonna lose people, maybe even each other” as the clip ushers in its first gut punch of the hour by showing Rick and Michonne at their son Carl’s side after he reveals he’s been bit. 🥺

They also show Rick telling Michonne “You can lose me” in the Say Yes van and her saying “No.” We’ll talk about it more in a later post, but just as many of us suspected - Richonne cannot in fact lose each other and live on the same. While losing each other is and was physically possible, in every other way losing each other made them lose the most crucial parts of themselves.

Then they show Rick in his final TWD ep, preparing to blow up the bridge as his voiceover tells Michonne “If it’s me who doesn’t make it, you’re gonna have to lead the others forward because you’re the one who can.”

We see Michonne scream his name as Rick blows up the bridge and then they show our sweet older Judith as Rick says “Making a future for Judith, it’ll be worth it.” And I always love that 9.05 shot of Judith because of how it incorporates Rick, Carl, and Michonne with the holster, hat, and sword on her back. She along with RJ is an embodiment of their legacy and the future Richonne believed in.

Then they show Michonne slaying a walker as she says “We can make it. I’m not giving up.” And it just all really hammers home the resilience of Richonne and their love and partnership. They’ve been through so much, built so much, and lost so much, but they still stand because of each other and the family they created. 

After they give us some CRM insight with clips of Jadis (😒), they show scenes of Michonne and Judith’s last conversation where they both decide Michonne will go and look for The Brave Man. I’m glad they included that because some viewers really tend to forget that Judith urged her mom to go look for her dad and Michonne left not as an act of abandonment, but as the ultimate act of love for her family.

The TWD clips ends with Michonne saying “Okay baby girl I’m gonna try” and Judith saying “Go get him.” I love that even with everyone else thinking they were crazy, Michonne and Judith never stopped believing Rick was out there. (And RJ was believing too. 🥹 But I'm getting way ahead of myself lol)

And then --- the show we’ve all been waiting for begins and the TOWL premiere has a devastatingly poignant teaser. 🥺

I like how The Ones Who Live's opener connects to the last of the TWD clips because Michonne tells her baby girl she’s gonna try and then we hear Rick’s voice start the show by saying, “I tried. Please know I tried.”

It moves me how much Rick and Michonne have been trying for each other while apart. And it’s crushing to hear Rick say 'tried' in the past tense as he now debates no longer trying anymore since he's learned he can’t be with his family again or else risk putting them in harm's way.

After years of waiting to finally see what Rick has been up to all this time, they immediately let us know it has been an excruciatingly painful existence for him without his family. 😢

gif cred: @perryabbott

I like how the shot opens with Rick facing away from the camera as he stares out the window at a cold industrial view. Rick facing away from us almost gives this sense that we know him but we also don’t fully know him anymore. He’s been through a lot we haven’t seen.

The vintage TV delivers news of a massive attack in the background and similar to the destruction on the television, Rick also feels destroyed by the CRM and at his lowest here. 

gif cred: @nerd4music

Then I love how before we even see Rick's face, we see him holding one of his phone sketches of Michonne. This show did a great job of immediately setting up the way Richonne’s love would be at the center of every scene in this story.

This shot of Michonne on the phone let you know instantly that the love between Richonne is still so alive and important to Rick and the miniseries. It’s also painful because it’s like Rick is finally accepting that those little drawings really could be the last he ever gets to “see” her after fighting so hard to believe he would see her again for real one day. 

And it’s very symbolic to have him look at Michonne on the phone and then see his own reflection in it. They’re one. It’s also significant that the first we see of Rick’s face is through a reflection. Again he’s him, but he’s not fully him rn. Just a reflection. And the part of him he misses most is his other half - Michonne. 

gif cred: @richonne4life

One of the tragic aspects of these two soulmates being separated for so long is that Rick and Michonne were not the type of couple who needed absence to make the heart grow fonder. Like they didn’t need to lose each other to realize how special their love was. When they were together they were fully aware of the gift their relationship was in their lives and they treasured their love deeply and out loud.

So being apart has only heightened what Rick and Michonne already knew full well which is that they are the love of each other's lives. They’re everything to each other. They knew it back then. And they know it still now, even after being away from each other longer than they’ve been together. 

It’s such a big deal for Rick to look at this phone in this moment as he contemplates ending it. I noticed that anytime Rick thinks he’s about to die, he thinks of Michonne. It's as though he’s eager for his last moment of life and his last thought to be of her so that he can end on some semblance of a positive note.

When he’s on the bridge in TWD 9.05, Michonne is his last hallucination. When he later chops off his hand and fades out of consciousness he dreams of her. And here when he contemplates dying by his own hand, he looks at this image of her just before. It makes me think of that TikTok that went viral about a man saying his last breath will be his wife’s name. That is definitely Rick’s mindset and I love that Richonne’s love runs that deep. 

Rick looks out with tears in his eyes - just sadness personified - and then he stares at the shard of glass in his hand, contemplative, before putting the glass to his neck. The acting Andy does in this moment is incredibly powerful and painful. I know award shows disappointingly tend to completely sleep on the performances from the TWD cast but truly to me he secured every award nomination just within his first few seconds of being on screen.

There’s something so viscerally vulnerable about this moment as Rick stares at the glass really wondering if after everything he’s been through and overcome, it’s really come to this - meeting his demise by his own hand with a little piece of glass.

Plus with how resilient Rick is, it’s like we see this massive internal fight to go against everything in him that’s a survivor and actively choose to stop surviving once and for all.

My heart just instantly broke from this teaser because while yes we know Rick won’t go through with it, to know that he was even in the headspace of this makes me hurt for him deeply. To think he was ready to potentially just go out, alone, depressed, never seeing his family again and them never knowing he was out there, feeling like a failure. It’s extremely dark.

gif cred: @vidco

Throughout his time on TWD, Rick’s journey has been as much a mental battle as it has been an external battle and as we saw in the TWD pilot, Rick is extremely perseverant but without his family, he is not opposed to just ending it.

And now, he's tried so hard for so many years to get back to Michonne and Judith, he stayed alive off the memory of family and the hope of being with family again - But once he realized it was no longer an option unless he risked putting the ones he loves in immense danger, that was it for him. In this moment he no longer sees the point in living if he has to live without his wife and daughter. 🥺

I found it powerfully poignant to have a show called The Ones Who Live begin by having Rick about to take his life. It shows that for Rick, there’s an asterisk on that motto because he feels he’s only 'the one who lives' if he gets to live with Michonne. It’s either ‘the ones who live together’ or nothing at all for Rick. 

So he nearly goes through with this attempt. Even draws some blood on his neck...but then he stops. Thank goodness. 🙏🏽 He sucks his teeth and sighs as he stares at the shard of glass looking defeated but also resolved that he can’t go through with it. Not like this.

Through this teaser, we instantly get his state of mind. He can’t end it all but he’s been in so much pain that it feels like the only way through is to die. It’s utterly tragic. 🥺

And I truly feel like part of why Rick couldn’t go through with it is because he and Michonne genuinely are one. So his life is not just his to take.

So long as Michonne is still out there and her heart is still beating then his heart still has to beat too, even if he has to die in other ways to somehow go on without her. We’ll also learn more about why he doesn’t go through with it in his heartbreakingly romantic last letter to Michonne, but we’ll get there. 👌🏽

So then we see the back of Rick again as he ends the night accepting his dreary fate to live but truly as the walking dead from now on. And I really like how the show explores the dark and damaging side of having to tell yourself you’re the walking dead. As well as the dark side of being 'the one who lives' even when everything in you wants to quit living because now you have to live without those you love.

When Rick gave the speech about his grandpa and them being the Walking Dead in TWD 5.10, Daryl responded saying, “We ain’t them.” Rick agreed with that because so long as you have family you aren’t the Walking Dead.

But that’s the thing - Rick hasn’t had his family for years and so he really did have to become the Walking Dead. But as he’ll say at the end of the series (jumping way ahead again, I know lol) he thought he was alone, but he wasn’t. His kids and wife especially were still believing in him and still loving him out there.

I like to think that just like Michonne could feel Rick out there with all the love he was emitting from afar toward her, Rick too could feel all the love she was emitting to him and it kept him here a bit longer. And thank goodness for that because my beloved Rick Grimes' story deserves a bright positive ending, not one this dark and depressing, after everything he's been through. 

As the teaser ends and Rick stares into the CRM void, I like the score. The music almost feels like a menacing weighed-down heartbeat which is fitting.

And then there's the beautiful title sequence, which I adore the music and every Richonne image during the theme song. I like how it starts with Rick and Michonne in each other's arms from season 8, letting you know that while the teaser was very dark, there is light coming and that light is called Richonne.

(Also, I really wanted Rick to see Michonne in her corset armor during the show but since he didn’t, I’m glad there’s at least a gorgeous image of the two of them together during the theme song that includes her in the armor.)

I also liked the way the first ep just shows Rick under the title since it’s a Rick-centric episode and then the second episode has just Michonne under the title for the Michonne-centric episode. All and all, this whole opener was a very impactful way to kick off the show and set the tone for what Rick has been through and become in the years he's been away.

All the chatter from certain parts of the audience who thought Rick would move on and even have a new family in the Civic Republic was immediately dispelled because those speculations were always a ridiculous misunderstanding of the character. He found his everything in Michonne so of course he’s still as in love with her now as he was the day we last saw them together in season 9. Just like Michonne still stayed in love with him.

I love that they both refused to move on from each other and operated as in love as ever. And because they held onto that love, even when it felt like all was lost, that love was able to return to them. 👌🏽

So next, we get into some action as we’re taken to 5 years after the bridge. We see Rick and his iconic walk as he stands in the forest with other consignees. And it was such a joy to see him back on screen and know we were finally going to get the continuation of his story. 🙌🏽

gif cred: @vidco

Rick holds a CRM hatchet, which also feels symbolic because it’s similar to one of his signature TWD weapons, but it’s marked by the CRM showing they’ve in many ways attempted to claim him. 

Rick is also the only consignee with a leash, clearly illustrating that he’s a lil different than the rest. He’s the one who doesn’t want to be here and will try to escape if given the chance and the CRM knows this about him. Along with attempting to claim him, this leash makes it feel like the CRM is also attempting to tame him like he's a defiant animal.

gif cred: @nerd4music

As Rick looks around and takes a breath you can tell he’s fully made up his mind about what he’s about to do with his most extreme escape attempt yet.

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

Rick runs to take out walkers and again seeing him back in action is such a sight for sore eyes. He’s still got it. 👌🏽 However, because he looks all healthy and strong I think some can miss that Rick is still very much in mental disarray from battling the psychological torment of being taken and trapped all these years. Like he might look normal and fine (and I do mean that in all the ways 😇) but he's not mentally healthy right now.

(Side note: I really love the look of this whole night scene with the deep blues and fiery reds. The budget was doing its thing in TOWL. 👏🏽🔥)

gif cred: @nerd4music

So Rick runs far enough that the leash pulls him to the ground. A soldier yells at him and he says “Sorry. Trying to find my axe.” Look at our cute little liar. 😋

And then the show gets right into the wildness by having Rick put a belt around his arm and proceed to chop off his own hand. It’s insane😳.

It's also very reminiscent of when Negan nearly made Rick chop off Carl’s arm in the season 7 premiere. Chopping his own hand off in these woods was more doable for Rick than had he had to chop off Carl’s arm because it’s his family he cares about far more than himself.

As Rick prepares to do the chop he repeats “This is how” as in this is how he gets home. It hurts my heart that he feels this is the only way.🥺

But it's really moving to see that he’s willing to do something this intense to get back to his love. Also, this is 5 years after the bridge, so this means that even a half a decade later Rick was still as determined as ever to break free and get back to Michonne.

The people I watch with and I had a whole discussion on whether chopping the hand the way he did was daftly executed by the show considering it’s such an extreme thing to do in this situation where Rick was never going to successfully get away bleeding out like that with CRM soldiers so close by.

But my argument was that the 'ill-thought-out' element of this escape plan is part of the point.

For 5 years atp, Rick has been isolated from all love and warmth and is deteriorating mentally day by day. In this extremely damaged state, he’s not thinking straight, and cutting off his hand is a last-ditch effort that shows he will try absolutely anything, sound or unsound, to get back to Michonne and Judith.

Yes, he possibly could have just cut off the thumb or hacked at the leash but the extreme approach Rick took also conveys that he’s not all there right now and he’s as desperate as he’s ever been to finally break free and go home. It also informs us that his more sane escape attempts haven't worked and so now Rick Grimes is willing to try the insane stuff to get back to his family.

Think about the mindset he has to be in to go against natural human instinct and chop off his own hand. It’s crazy, but it immediately lets us know that even the most impractical solutions are now what it’s come to for him. 

gif cred: @nat111love

So basically, if it seems super reckless for him to do it this way, that’s the intention imo. He’s so worn down and off mentally from his debilitating circumstances that he’ll do anything whether it’s the wise thing or not, he doesn’t care anymore. Anything to get back to her.

The traditional saying is 'asking for her hand in marriage,' but here we see Rick, the ultimate lover boy, be like 'What if I literally give my hand for my marriage.' If there’s one thing TOWL made perfectly clear it’s that Rick and Michonne have crazy love. 💯

And while yes his escape plan could have been more thought through, my baby Rick did show some smart thinking by putting the ax in the fire to make the chop easier so you gotta give him that. 😌👌🏽

After he cuts off his hand this horror music plays as Rick proceeds to make a run for it. He has to lean behind a tree dazed as he bleeds profusely.

It’s crazy because the last time we saw Rick in a full episode of TWD he was bleeding out and now here he is intensely injured again and going through the wringer. I was so eager for whenever this man would finally get some much-deserved rest. 

gif cred: @twdfranchise

Rick then has the strength to take out a walker and cauterize the wound by plunging his arm into the fire inside it. This whole thing was an effective way to show early that one; Rick is built different and two; this man will endure literally anything to get home. And home is very much not a place but his wife and daughter.

So then he tries to make a run for it as CRM soldiers near closer and I honestly think with this being his fourth escape attempt this was really a “go home or die trying" attempt. Like I think Rick knew that dying tonight was a very real possibility.

The soldiers knock Rick down and he lays on the ground defeated and drained as he stares at the burning corpse of a walker that’s certainly meant to reflect how he feels as well. Almost like the burning desire to go home has officially consumed him and taken him out.

Feeling like a corpse himself, Rick fades out of consciousness as soldiers approach. And then we get to enter Rick’s lovely mind and see where he goes when at his wit's end.

And y’all, these first two TOWL scenes to analyze were pretty hefty, dark, and depressing, so it’s time we get to something lighter and happier to dive into. And what’s better and brighter than Rick’s beautiful dream world with his beautiful dream girl? 😌👌🏽🌟

[chibrary]

Today in Chontent: February 12th (2018)

Charles gets interviewed by Andrea Noviello of warmup-f1.fr about his upcoming rookie F1 season.

source: warmup-f1.fr series: f1, 2018

Established by Sauber after his breathtaking 2017 campaign, Charles Leclerc is excited to finally be able to start his first season at the wheel of a Formula 1 car.

His 2017 season was close to perfection. By conquering with disconcerting superiority seven victories, eight pole positions, ten podiums and four fastest laps last year in the antechamber of Formula 1, Charles Leclerc not only positioned himself as one of the greatest hopes of tomorrow, but above all won his ticket to the premier category of motorsport. Recruited by Sauber as part of the partnership between the Swiss team and Alfa Romeo, the figurehead of the Ferrari Driver Academy will have the difficult task of meeting the immense expectations generated by his consecutive double crowning in GP3 and Formula 2. But while waiting to finally be able to demonstrate the full extent of his talent aboard an F1 car, the Monegasque took advantage of these long weeks of break to perfect his physical condition and begin his process of discovering the Hinwil facilities. Delighted to be able to collaborate again with his former boss at ART GP Frédéric Vasseur, the Sauber driver is resolutely confident before tackling his first season at the highest level. Aware of the difficulties that await him, Nicolas Todt's protégé nevertheless wants to be ambitious. Convinced of being able to put his best foot forward if he remains focused on his own work, Leclerc intends to confirm in 2018 all the good things that the paddock thinks of him.

The Formula 1 world championship will resume on March 25 at Albert Park in Australia. How do you feel a little over a month before your big debut in the premier category?

Very good. I've dreamed of it since I was little! To think that I am going to start my first season in Formula 1 is just incredible. But I must not forget to concentrate on the work I will have to do in F1. 2018 will be a pivotal year in my career. So I'm actively preparing physically to be ready the day I get into the new car.

The winter break is generally a rather difficult period for a pilot, because it consists almost exclusively of heavy and intensive physical preparation. How do you manage to fill the lack of management?

It is extremely difficult, if not almost impossible, for a pilot to make up for the lack of running. Of course it has absolutely nothing to do with F1, but I'm still going to try to go and drive a kart a little these days just to get some sensations and have fun. I spend the majority of my time perfecting my physical condition so that I can be in good shape for the first tests in Barcelona. The desire to drive a single-seater, unfortunately, cannot be satisfied for a large part of the winter. Afterwards, everyone is in the same boat. You just have to accept it and prepare as best as possible for the winter tests.

Starting out in Formula 1 is always a crucial step in a driver's life. In addition to arriving in a completely different world from the one you have encountered in the past in promotional formulas, are you aware of reaching the biggest milestone in your career in motorsport?

Completely. F1 is nothing like the minor categories. Going from karting to single-seaters is already a big step. Moving up to Formula 1 undoubtedly represents the second biggest step in a driver's life. The engines were all identical within the promotion formulas I went through. So the goal came down to doing the best job possible in the car. If we met this condition, we knew full well that the results would follow.

In F1, on the other hand, the driver is much more dependent on the performance of his machine...

Yes. It's not quite the same thing in F1, because there is a lot of difference in performance between the cars. The procedures to follow are also much more numerous than in the small categories. F1 is really a big step to take, but above all I have to concentrate on the work I will have to do in the single-seater in order to bring the best possible result home. I will also focus on developing the car as quickly and efficiently as possible throughout the season.

For the first time since you started karting, you will approach a season knowing that you will not have the means to win on a regular basis. How do we mentally prepare ourselves to settle for runners-up when, like you, we have collected titles in the lower categories?

Above all, I will seek to deliver the best possible work in the car. The end result won't matter in the end. The most important thing for me will be to stay focused on my job while trying to make the car progress as quickly as possible. F1 is undoubtedly a completely different world to what I have experienced in the past. So I'm definitely going to have to go through a little period of adaptation. But to be able to do effective work in the premier category, the key will be to concentrate on what I have to do and only on that.

You will team up with Marcus Ericsson in 2018, a driver who certainly did well last year alongside Wehrlein, but who does not necessarily enjoy a very big reputation inside the paddock. To hope to impress F1, won't you somehow be obliged to "crush it" like you outclassed Formula 2 last year?

Marcus has a lot of experience in F1. So I'm already going to try to learn alongside him. However, as I mentioned previously, my main goal is to produce the best job possible while remaining focused solely on myself. This is something I learned from my previous seasons in single-seaters. If I focus on my work and do it well, then I should be able to demonstrate what I'm worth. I prefer not to distract myself by looking at others. I just make sure I give my best. We will then see what results I will be able to obtain this season.

Sauber remains in four very difficult seasons in Formula 1. In addition to its recurring financial problems, the Swiss team has also suffered greatly on a sporting level since three times out of four it finished the championship in tenth place. Did these chronic difficulties scare you when joining the Swiss team?

No, on the contrary I am very confident. With “Fred” (Vasseur) at the helm, the team is truly in good hands. I know him very well and I love the way he works. A team manager must work in this way to help the team progress. We should also not neglect the impact of the return of Alfa Romeo. So yes, until we put the car on the ground, it will be difficult to predict anything. Our main mission will be to develop the car as quickly as possible throughout the year.

[brightlight-dazzlingeyes]

between the lines | interlude

rúben dias x original female character [+18]

synopsis: isabella is a sports journalist covering the premier league. she has sworn to never get involved with a football player. that is, until she meets a handsome portuguese defender. warnings: incorrect journalism references; timeline of events are not faithful to real life; i have never been to england; mutual pining; romantic comedy;  minors dni.

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

Interlude

“I think she wants you to sing to her!” Carlos exasperatedly requests me a lullaby. I’m sitting down on the floor in front of my floor length mirror, trying to do something nice with my hair. I'm getting ready for my first day back at work after a short lived summer break. My brother is on facetime, showing me my niece. “I swear, she was saying ‘tía’ a lot. I think she’s asking for the song.”

It’s August and I just got back to England. Getting drunk on Pinot Noir on as many Spanish islands as my money could afford was a goal I gracefully achieved over the break. Okay, maybe ‘gracefully’ is not the best word to describe my alcohol driven antics. But here I am, all pieces glued together, ready for another season.

This time last year I was a rookie in this League and by the end of the season I was having dinner dates with a Prem superstar.

None of that this time, tough. I've grown a year older since my birthday last week, and that means I’m only focusing on my career. For real this time. No more relapses, no more calls in the middle of the night.

So I sing Lucía a song and then I go to work.

“New year, new me, huh?” I point out as Melissa hugs me, she has a new hair color and is rocking a new makeup style.

“Isabella, it’s August.” Mel doesn't share my enthusiasm. “Also, I hate covering pre-season. I always end up making stupid decisions like going blonde or something.”

“What? You didn’t have fun in the US?” I’m still hugging her when I ask.

“Oh, shut up. Your insta stories didn’t help me either, you know?” Mel puts both hands on my shoulders and looks deep into my eyes. “But you had fun, right? You’re feeling good?”

“Yeah, of course. Feeling good. I feel great.” I nod, mostly to myself. “I feel amazing…” 

She agrees and continues to walk.

“I swear I wish I had forgotten most of these dudes' names.” She bites her lips looking menacingly into the horizon. I giggle, ashamed.

“I share the feeling.”

At lunch Mel ordered Japanese food and I just stared at the package for a full minute before deciding to eat.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” It’s the fourth or sixth time she said that to me, ever since she noticed something was off a couple months ago.

It was a Japanese restaurant but I almost didn’t notice at first, being too focused on something else. He wore a button up shirt and I felt like dying.

I remember saying something like:

“I don’t really like Portuguese food. Too many eggs. You guys put eggs in everything. Egg on the entrance, egg on the fish, for desert? Egg flavored cake. Francesinha is a sandwich with egg on top of it. That’s not where the egg is supposed to go, Rúben.”

And he laughed, he laughed at every joke I said. At the end of the night my jaw was hurting from how I smiled at him and I wondered if he felt the same.

It’s a double-edge sword, this whole falling in love thing. Even being the one saying goodbye, I still hurt like I was dumped by my first boyfriend at 16 all over again.

At first it was easy, everything can be a distraction if you try hard enough. But with time the thing I was trying so hard to hide became bigger and louder in my mind. The sound of the laughter, the clicking of the cutlery.

The realization that I chose this, standing outside of Wembley with a microphone in hand; over whatever that was.

This is fine, I’m great.

“How are you feeling about this season?” I question a random City fan outside the stadium.

“Good, yeah.” The lad shrugs.

“You guys already won everything, do you think the players-” I start, but he stops me.

“Nah, we didn’t win everything. There’s always more to win. We only got 3 out of 4 last season.” When he says that, I realize that around 20 meters away from me, in the distance, is the Manchester City bus. I walk faster.

The sound of wanting gets drowned out by a crowded pub and suddenly it's easier to breathe again and everything really is fine.

“Rice, rice, baby!” It’s Victor’s voice that gets a genuine laugh out of me. “I fucking love Wembley!”

We’re all meeting at the pub after the Community Shield game and the atmosphere is exactly like the first day back to school, but with a lot more beer involved.

“Please don’t tell me you have money on Arsenal winning the league.” Seb is sitting next to me, pointing his green bottle to Victor.

“I do. Yes, go ahead, laugh all you want.” Victor raises his voice, looking offended. “I’m not even being optimistic, mate, it’s just the plain truth.”

The entire table laughs and we almost can't hear when he continues. “They’re stronger this year, guys, hear me out.”

“You’re right to be confident, but personally I’m not putting money on Mikel.” Mel says.

I bite my tongue when they ask my opinion.

“I’m being a hundred percent professional this year, no betting, no guessing, just straight analyzing.” The table booed me and I raised my hands in the air, in surrender. “Hey, I didn’t even want to be here. I wish I was in Australia right now.”

“Don't remind me!” Mel sighs and lightly slaps me. “We’re literally the only women not covering the World Cup right now.”

“No whining! Come on, let’s toast.” Seb raises his bottle once again, but this time we all follow. “To a busy and long season!”

And we all repeat: “To a busy and long season!”

[siremasterlawrence]

BHAFTA Part 1

British Hypnosis Academy Of Television and Film Arts has a feverish premiere week after a strange young man infiltrated the grand ole academy for the longterm and so many changes have happened. The school has been rebranded with a new lifestyle training Academy I have a new type of training to install in the students and my plan has to get going to be unfurled out of controlled.I made a list of British actors who came to my aid after the announcement saying it’s good for change and I approached many of them starting with the former man of mystery James Bond.

The red carpet rolls out ultra plush towards The Academy who will relaunch a million careers and spring forth a thousand more with a simple trigger word everyone who signs this contract will be at my mercy to mold. Daniel Craig’s limo parks as the door swings open revealing the man of martini shaken not stirred, he takes a step forward hand ready to shake mine as I grab it shaking it fiercely with one hand and offering out my other hand.A contract with a quilt pen laying on it in a magical fashion he picks up and beginning to sign a contract without reading it at all in excitement because he felt utter compelled to do so because he felt so deeply in need of him.The crowd electrically erupting in a baffle of excitement roars up in to the air streaking from wall to wall with screams hitting brand new heights and hitting new ridiculous levels as his mind is shook to the core as we shook firmly. The fiery minute we touch hands as we set something so embedded inside of him it is lit much like a match stick with a forest fire metastasizing throughout his body and without any bit of effort he succumbs.The light in his pupils erasing from existence fading into the anonymity of time and space forever into the void and eventually he left totally empty devoid of anything except for all that I command. Taking control leading him to the side of The BHAFTA Academy as we snuck into the true massively gigantic building in the Great City of London and we enter the side doors avoid every fan and photographer pinning him in to the wall. Pressing my body on the wall we go skin to skin matching every inch and crevice before we kiss a little leading to a longterm make our season because we fell deeply in love for each other. I place his back on to the wall putting in a few codes as he stares at me mindlessly swallowing his body in to the wall as he spun to the side and the walls open up as he drops down a slide.

“OI Mate! You super seeded to the head of the academy.” Tom Hardy calls to me.

“Can I help you Tom?”

“I am interested “

“Would you like to have a conversation?”

“Bloody yeah!”

“Wait for me in that small inclosure “

“Yes sure “

“Don’t interrupt us”

“Yes sir”

“Please pitch “

“I am Tom Hardy and I think I could be that spokesperson.”

“Well Daniel Craig is interested “

“Against me? I don’t think so”

“Cocky huh?”

“What if I am?”

“No! You are not !”

“Excuse me!”

“You are insecure “

“Now listen here”

“Or what punk?”

“What’s going on?”

“The door is closing”

“The lights are flickering off”

“Ssshhhh!”

“Don’t shush me”

“Zip it Hardy”

“Focus on your life “

“It flashes back and forth “

“Enter my school”

“You are hired “

“Tom Ellis”

“Where is Hardy?”

“He’s busy “

“My new spokesperson “

“That was insanely quick”

“Bloody hell!”

“Cheeky”

“Am I?”

“So unfair “

“Why?”

“Did you want it?”

“Maybe possibly “

“Well I have to go”

“No! STOP!”

“Baby please “

“Fuck me!”

“Excuse me”

“Let me prove it “

“Are you stripping?”

“Now you are naked “

“Oh My!”

“Say it”

“Goodness “

“Oh come on!”

“What?”

“Swear it!”

“Hmmm”

“Fuck”

“Much better “

“Worship me”

Andrew Garfield is the next to approaches me in a heat of lust, love and desire to begin following me to the balcony and shutting the door after he enters. He smirks at me with this red fiery rage inside of him calling to me

he stood so tall in the brush of the moon light of white decadence. I lay my right hand

on him wrapping the other over his shoulder as we dance to the silvery moon tapping his shoulders tightly and we kiss a few more moments.

“Woah! Hey! How are you doing this?”

“Making me swoon over you “

“Swoon over me?”

“Yeah babe”

“I don’t know you “

“My movies “

“I’ve seen some”

“And?”

“I loved them”

“Hell yes!”

“You are so sweet”

“Let me lift you up “

“Swoop you off of your feet”

“Hug you tight “

“Kiss you sweetly “

“Be your man”

“Take my hand “

“Love you “

“Will you serve me Andrew?”

“With my all”

“I give you my body “

“What a specimen”

“My mind”

“So easy to mind alter “

“Your life “

“Wonderful to sculpt “

“Whatever you wish!”

“Strip me please “

“I am all”

“Yes Master”

“Hey Tom! Say Cheese!”

The end

[sandwormsummoner]

MUSIC/INTERVIEW:

Beetlejuice: Thais Piza says she needs to “control herself not to laugh” during the musical

By Eduardo do Valle (@duduvalle)

Published on 02/27/2024, at 5:24 pm

Actress and singer returns to the stage alongside Eduardo Sterblitch and a great cast in a São Paulo production of a musical adapted from Tim Burton's work: 'it's poking fun at oneself.

Eduardo Sterblitch and Thais Piza behind the scenes of 'Beetlejuice, The Musical' (Personal collection)

Thais Piza is back on stage - and once again leading a celebrated musical. After shining as Vivian Ward in the production of Pretty Woman, the singer and actress now brings Barbara to life in Beetlejuice, The Musical, which premiered in São Paulo on the 21st.

The Brazilian adaptation of the Broadway show, Beetlejuice, The Musical arrives in São Paulo after a successful run in Rio de Janeiro. Here, it retains part of the structure and cast, notably Eduardo Sterblitch in the title role. Directed by Tadeu Aguiar and produced by Renata Borges Pimenta, the play has been praised for its distinctly Brazilian humor in adapting the classic story from Tim Burton's film: "The play was completely tailored to the Brazilian audience; we play with accents, well-known jokes, names, people, and situations."

Thais Piza in 'Beetlejuice, The Musical' (Rafa Marques/Blog do Arcanjo)

“Unlike a musical that comes, as we joke, 'canned,' in this one, we were able to adapt everything. It brought together the genius of Edu [Sterblitch], with the genius of Tadeu [Aguiar] and a team where we have incredible actors, like my scene partner, Marcelo Laham - it's a hit! Goal! Goal for Brazil... Record-breaking box office.”

For Thais, the invitation to join the cast of the São Paulo production came as a welcome challenge, materializing in less than a month of preparation to take the stage as Barbara - a character immortalized by Geena Davis in the 1988 film adaptation.

“It was a mix of happiness and madness to accept the invitation to play Barbara here in São Paulo because the play came ready, meaning I had a week to learn what the cast had built in two months,” the actress shares.

Thais Piza in 'Beetlejuice, The Musical' (Rafa Marques/Blog do Arcanjo)

Her character is part of a recently deceased couple, who become ghosts trapped in their old house. With the arrival of new tenants, she and her husband (Adam, played by Marcelo Laham) must learn how to scare the new occupants - and they do so with Beetlejuice himself. Speaking to Rolling Stone Brasil, Piza admits to having to hold back laughter at times - notably in scenes with Eduardo Sterblitch's Beetlejuice and João Telles, who have more freedom on stage.

“The sharp jokes fall more on Edu and João, who is the alternate Beetlejuice. We stick more to the script because we 'don't see' the audience like Beetlejuice does. And man, comedy is just that, poking fun at oneself, it's laughter at any cost.”

Beetlejuice, The Musical, is produced by Touché Entretenimento, with a cast of 26 people and over 100 professionals involved in the production. The show runs at Teatro Liberdade in São Paulo until April 21st. Tickets are available for purchase through Sympla.

↓ Read the full interview with Thais Piza below ↓

Rolling Stone Brasil: You approached Beetlejuice after a praised season in Pretty Woman. How did the opportunity arise and how much time did you have to prepare between the two projects?

Thais Piza: I received the invitation from Renata Borges less than a month after the end of Pretty Woman and about a month and a half before the São Paulo premiere. I am extremely grateful for bringing Vivian to life in Brazil, and I believe it was indeed a turning point in my career, but ever since I found out that Beetlejuice was coming to Brazil, I freaked out. I watched the play in New York and was ecstatic. It was a mix of happiness and madness to accept the invitation to play Barbara here in São Paulo because the play came ready, meaning I had a week to learn what the cast had built in two months. But this cast is so generous, so supportive, and Tadeu Aguiar is such an incredible director as well, that putting it all together ended up being easy, as far as possible [laughs]... Now I'm having too much fun on stage. I always say it was my most confident yes.

Rolling Stone Brasil: In the show, you portray Barbara, a role famously played by Geena Davis. What characteristics do you bring to the role, and how does this iconic interpretation from cinema influence you?

Thais Piza: Just as there was much talk about Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, now Geena Davis is in the spotlight. And the answer is quite similar, yet different: Beetlejuice is a super comedy! Edu [Sterblitch] is a genius from whom I learn every day; he has become a dear friend, and as he himself said, "If Wicked is the Juliette of musicals, then we are the Gil do Vigor." The play was completely adapted for the Brazilian audience; we play with accents, well-known jokes, names, people, and situations. The starting point, as in Pretty Woman, will always be the film followed by the Broadway adaptation, but then comes the spice, the Brazilian essence. As I used to say: I'm not Julia Roberts, but I made my Vivian. And I repeat: I'm not Geena Davis, but I'm making my Barbara.

Thais Piza as Barbara in 'Beetlejuice, The Musical' (Andy Santana)

Rolling Stone Brasil: Since you mentioned the Brazilian essence, are there opportunities to bring any references or inspirations from our dramaturgy into such a rigid script like that of a musical? Did you consider any for the development of your role?

Thais Piza: I considered a friend who has the characteristics of Barbara [laughs]. I always like to imagine who the character could be in real life during the character's construction. And yes! Absolutely! There are many references to Brazilian things. Unlike a musical that comes, as we joke, "canned", like a Les Mis or a Phantom of the Opera, in this one, we were able to adapt everything. It brought together the genius of Edu, with the genius of Tadeu, and a team where we have incredible actors, like my scene partner, Marcelo Laham - a hit! Goal! Goal for Brazil... Record-breaking box office.

Rolling Stone Brasil: Beetlejuice navigates through a whimsical universe while also experimenting with a certain freedom, especially in the use of sharp humor. How does this musical adaptation explore these aspects?

Thais Piza: I love doing comedy. I love Tim Burton. Put it all together, mix it up, add Brazil, a cast of beasts, exquisite direction, and you get success. The sharp jokes fall more on Edu and João's shoulders, who is the alternate Beetlejuice. We stick more to the script because we "don't see" the audience like Beetlejuice does. And man, comedy is just that, poking fun at oneself, it's laughter at any cost. Our play is the one where you leave your problems at home and come to the theater with one single purpose, which is to have fun.

Rolling Stone Brasil: How has your experience been with the cast?

Thais Piza: I'll be brief: I think, to this day, this cast is in the "top 3 best casts" I've ever worked with. There's a lot of laughter, a lot of affection, a lot of fun, and a lot of professionalism. It's a different lesson in every session.

Eduardo Sterblitch e Thais Piza nos bastidores de 'Beetlejuice, O Musical' (Acervo pessoal)

Rolling Stone Brasil: Any favorite or surprising scenes you'd like to highlight?

Thais Piza: I have two! There's a scene where I always have to control myself not to laugh, which is when Edu, Laham, and I are in the attic, with Beetlejuice teaching the two goofy ghosts how to scare. And the other one is our duet called "Barbara 2.0" - where my character "stops being silly" and sings a song in the best Broadway style with extremely high notes - thank you, Rafael Villar, my singing teacher. I've been eagerly waiting since the beginning to perform this delightful number.

↓ SUPPORT THE ORIGINAL POST! ↓

[gra-sonas]

Michael Vlamis breaks down his character Michael's newfound happiness, the season’s new alien threats, and the season and series finale.

Life is never quiet on Roswell, New Mexico. Max (Nathan Parsons), his extraterrestrial siblings, Isobel (Lily Cowles) and Michael (Michael Vlamis), and their human friends had only barely begun picking up the pieces after defeating Max's evil Doppelganger, Jones. For Michael, that meant finally moving in with his boyfriend, Alex (Tyler Blackburn).

Beginning in Season 1, their romance has been on and off again, but last year the two seemed more connected and committed to each than ever. Michael had his doubts and felt slightly out of place, but he quickly came to terms with any reservations. New aliens in Roswell, ones with ties to Jones, could throw a wrench into their blissful existence for both Michael and Alex. CBR recently spoke with Vlamis about Michael's personal demons, life with Alex, becoming a mole, and the series' cancellation.

CBR: Going into this season, do you feel Michael is in a better place than he's ever been before?

Michael Vlamis: I do feel that way, yes. One thousand percent. It's funny that you ask that because I felt that way as an actor going in. You know how, in your life, you think everything is good, and then you are challenged with something and then immediately are like, "Oh my god. I still need to be working on this. I am not ready." That is exactly what happens to him in Episode 1.

It continues in Episode 2, and it will continue through the season, but, yeah, Michael is in the best place he's ever been in. That doesn't mean he's perfect. He's still clearly dealing with some of these deep feelings from being a kid, of being abandoned or not having the love he deserved. So, I would say he's the best he's ever been, but he has a long road ahead.

In this season's premiere, the town witnessed a wild light show in the sky. How concerned is Michael about this phenomenon?

Oh, I think he's extremely concerned, but maybe not for the same reason that some of the other characters are. For instance, Max right now is going after these bank robbers. [He] and Cameron think they might be alien. When they see that acid rain or whatever the heck it is, they are thinking, "OK, it is alien," and they are connecting it to these bank robbers and that this is a bad thing. When Michael sees that, he's like, "Oh my god. Are there other people like me, where I can go figure out where I am actually from and who my family is, or my home was?" He's intrigued by it, actually.

Michael steps up as the science geek. In what ways does he contribute to the investigation of the lights, dubbed "St. Elmo's Fire"?

He spent so much of his life trying to figure out a way to go home. Liz is the full-blown, science-honored nerd, but Michael Guerin is that closet nerd, in a way. He's the guy that has been tinkering with toys for many years. He has a lot to offer because he understands the alien tech of it all. The alien investigation is very important for him to be helping out because he knows the alien tech almost better than anyone else. By now, we have an alien doctor. Liz understands it very well. At the same time, I don't think there is anybody who spent enough time with it, especially the machinery, the consoles, and things like that than Michael. That will come into play as the season progresses.

His romantic human partner, Alex, offers to pitch in. Why does Michael resist?

Michael resists because Alex is one person to trust. The whole organization, no matter if you trust a few people in it... You are going to tell me this kid, who spent his whole life wondering about home, isn't going to be precious over something that could tell him more about his home and who he is? More and more people know about these aliens in Roswell. At the same time, there are a lot of people who don't. He still has trust issues deep down. Those are hard to get rid of, but he does trust Alex. We see that come full circle in the episode.

Michael and Alex now live together. What were your thoughts on that domestic development?

I thought it was amazing. I thought it was really fun how they worked in Dallas' character and showing how hesitant Michael was at the beginning. I did believe it was perfect timing. We have a very mature relationship in the show now, and we started the most immature. That has been one of the fun things to play. The growth of our characters and our journeys... I know fans want us together more. In previous seasons, they wanted more of us. It's a long road that is going to take us to a beautiful end of the season, I will say that.

The couple has been shipped as "Malex." How protective are you of the relationship?

I haven't had to be protective. I have never had anyone talking trash on it. If someone was talking trash on it, I would be very upset. So, yes, I guess I am protective over it. If someone was trying to dog what we were doing, then they have way bigger issues than a conversation that I am going to have with them is going to fix. It's going to take many, many conversations and them to do the work.

At the same time, I'm very fortunate to be around a lot of open-minded people who recognize what is going on in the show and aren't judging others for who they love. You forget sometimes that there are still people out there who judge, but I am surrounded by such beautiful people, especially in the entertainment industry. Everyone is so open and welcoming and understanding.

The show is the best thing I have ever been a part of. Malex is the best relationship I have ever been a part of. I haven't been a part of many on television, but I have done several movies. I have written my own stories. I directed my first movie this past year. This is the relationship that speaks the most to people who need a voice. As a person who is only involved in this community through the character I play, I feel even more involved in it than maybe I should. The fans seem to want me to be, and they seem to encourage me to be, and I am proud to do it.

Michael has been busy with his bugs. He has this relationship with Alex on his plate. Jones' contingency plan is still on the loose. What can you tease about what is on the horizon for Michael and the series?

I can definitely tease that Michael Guerin is very intrigued that there are other aliens, and he's going to infiltrate because everyone is trying to figure out why they are here and what is going on. Michael Guerin might fall a little deeper than he expects to fall. He is going to have to fight with that. It's like the mole. "The mole goes in. Good luck."

Unfortunately, this is Roswell's final season. How did you take that news?

You know what? Without giving anything away, there are still some cliffhangers, but storylines are wrapped in such a beautiful way that while we were shooting it, I almost felt like if this happens to be the end, I was pretty content with how we were leaving things. We could still pick up and tell a million more stories, but at the same time, our characters are in such a beautiful place. That doesn't mean there isn't any drama anymore, but it does mean there is a lot of resolution for our characters. I haven't watched it yet, but remembering it, I did feel at peace. We are leaving the show at something that the fans will be happy about, but, yeah, at least one more season of playing Guerin would have been really nice.

At the same time, we just had four years together in Santa Fe. We did everything we could. We had the best times, the best laughs... on- and off-screen. I look at it as I look at everything in my life... as an opportunity. When one opportunity ends, more opportunities come. I just had four years of school, basically, of learning and creating new friendships. I am in a place where it would have been nice to have some more, but it's OK that it's over. I am not sad that it's over. I'm happy that it happened.

[bitch-ass-aliens]

[This is more an introspective personal post more than anything else, but I do express minor disappointment/criticism for the show/finale in it so proceed with caution it you don’t want to see it.]

The thing is, I knew before the official cancellation that this was probably going to be my last season in the RNM fandom. Somewhere during this last hiatus, I realized the spark had left, that I was no longer really invested in the what happened next, no longer as interested in fandom conversations and creations. When the cancellation news came, I was relieved, though also kinda of pissed because goddamn it, I was going to leave first. 

The cancellation news did reignite a small flame though, knowing it would be the final season. I was excited to watch, even writing again in the weeks leading up to the premiere. And I loved the premiere a lot. But then I missed 4x03 and 4x04 because life kicked my ass, and I got behind. And in the moments when I had free time, I was too exhausted to watch something I was so invested in, so newer media was more appealing...and some of that new media ended up being very, very shiny. So by the time I felt ready to catch up...

The thing is, there are things I know I would have loved about this season and the finale, if I was still in that emotionally invested fandom state, even with all the disappointing stuff. But since I mostly emotionally moved on, it just all fell flat for me. The faults glared at me in all their ignominy. It sucks. I didn’t want to leave this show feeling disappointed and let down like I do. 

That being said, RNM joins only two other major fandoms of mine that I have watched in real time and made it to the finale. A rare distinction in almost two decades of fandom. And I am incredibly grateful for this show. For three years, it did bring me a lot of joy (and pain too, but quite a bit of joy). I have friendships I know I’m walking away with that will be long-lived, and even for those that will fade without this shared interest: just because it was temporary doesn’t mean it wasn’t important. This show and fandom challenged me to teach myself to gif, inspired me to actually complete and post fanfic, inspired me to run my first fandom event(s). I’m walking away with good, tangible things that I will be able to take with me, and honestly, I think that’s more important to think about than dwelling on yet another tv show letting me down in the end. 

I guess at the end of the day, what I want to say is thank you to everyone who shared this journey with me. To those who left before me, and those who will stay long after. To everyone who contributed positively to my fandom experience over the last four years, be that through reblogs, likes, kudos, comments, asks, dms, conversations on here or discord, through your art, your gifsets, your fic, your creativity, your meta, your enthusiasm, your salt, your encouragement, however you contributed. You are appreciated. Thank you for being here. <3

[stephspurs]

A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction

Life is beautiful and life is cruel. This is a window into the souls of the victorious and the vanquished. In a way, football did come home during the summer of 2021. Follow along Amelia’s journey, navigating the football world as a tactical analyst for the Italian football team, with a brother and father part of the three lions. Will Amelia leave Italy and come back to England? Will she leave the Serie A for the Prem? Will she set aside the bianconeri stripes for new colours, leaving behind friendship for love? Maybe she can have both...

Wow - the response i received in a little under 24 hours since i posted the first taste of part 1 has truly bowled me over! I wasn't expecting that reaction & tbh i would have been happy if 2 people wanted to read this story hahaha! So, i've been writing in the background & the first few parts have already been proofed and are ready to go. HOWEVER! I am open to your suggestions so please please let me know what you think and how you want to see Amelia's story play out. As far as i'm concerned, this fic is as much yours as it is mine! So please enjoy this first part, in its entirety, and let me know your thoughts! Love always,

Steph xx

UPDATE as of 31/07: I've made some additional editing changes due to some feedback about the confusion between ben white (her brother) and ben chilwell (not her brother LOL). Nothing has been added to the story, just the addition of either surname has been added where i think it could be more straightforward - for future readers!

Part 1 | prima parte

warnings; none - maybe a bit of angst? (what sibling rivalry doesn't have a bit of angst)

word count; 1978 words

writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter.

next update; Sunday 25/07 5pm AEST. Updates will be twice weekly at this stage. Probably Wednesday’s and Sundays from next week!!

link to fic masterlist here

The world of football, no matter how big it may seem, is as tight as a close-knit family. Whether its management staff, senior players, scouts, academy players, business developers, medical team, groundskeeper - everyone knows someone who knows someone else involved in the sport. For Amelia White, it was a family affair.

Having grown up with her father as a senior tactical analyst for many different clubs throughout his career, and an older brother currently playing for Brighton in the Premier League, there was no opportunity for her to escape the fanaticism of the sport. It was what her household lived and breathed, football. Most would think that, with her brother being as successful as he is now, her childhood was shadowed by her brother's success but that's not the case. She capitalised on her ability to think both logically and creatively, and absorbed all of the information her father could give her as if she was a sponge, to establish a name of her own in the sport and advance her career in the sport. At the age of 21 she upped and left the comforts of her home in West London, accepted a position at Juventus within their graduate program & worked her way up the ranks to be their youngest tactical analyst by the age of 24.

So far in her career, the support of her mother, father & brother were unmatched by any. They were all so proud of her for making her own name, proving herself and succeeding in one of the most competitive football leagues in the world. She was smart, tactful, both meticulous and ruthless in her approach to her career and the success of her players. Because after all, they were her players. She worked day in and day out, studying them and their opponents, drafting performance plans and set pieces for every possible outcome of the play, so that they could perform at their best. They had her trust and faith, and she had theirs. This is probably what her family was most proud of, and wished her every success, until she was appointed as a tactical analyst for the Italian National Team for the upcoming Euro 2020 tournament. Which happened to be the same tournament that her brother had received his call up to the Three Lions. Which was the current level at which her father was a senior tactical analyst for the English National Team. The Euro 2020 Tournament was about to be a real family affair...

10 July 2021

It had been 2 months since she last had any contact with her family. 3 months ago, Amelia signed a contract with the Federcalcio, the governing body of football in Italy, to become the Azzurri’s tactical analyst for the foreseeable European Football Championship. In turn, her silky signature at the bottom of the agreement, also constituted a digital and physical contact ban with members of her family that were also involved with the tournament...her father and her brother.

At the time of the contract, and against her better judgement, Amelia hadn’t told her family of her opportunity. She knew her father would be proud, but her brother would be bitter. Her mother was switzerland, completely neutral and rooting for both of her children - but that's not how football works. No matter your role you have a job to do, and you do everything you can to make sure it is your team that lifts the trophy at the end of the tournament. So, on May 23rd her family congratulated her for another successful season at Juventus, and unbeknownst to them, said goodbye for the next 2 months. Until the day before the final match of the tournament, Italy v. England.

Her heart dropped when England won their semi final match against Denmark. She wanted nothing more than for her brother to be happy and for her father to succeed, but she didn’t want to have to go up against them in the final. Ultimately, she knew they were good, but she also knew that she could hold her own and compete with the best. Having a close relationship with her brother, up until this period, meant that she often paid attention to the premier league. This was a major benefit to her as she had already started analysing the azzurri’s opponents. It was her job to know what foot Raheem Sterling preferred to pass with, what direction Declan Rice preferred to take the ball up the field, what direction of receiving the ball did Harry Maguire struggle the most with. So that's how she spent the three days between matches, solidifying her knowledge of her opponents & predicting the plays her dad would be instructing the English team to complete, to attempt to outperform the Italians. However nothing would prepare her for the knock on her suite door, or for what was on the other side…

_____________________________________________________________

“Ciao Amelia, vieni con me per favore. abbiamo organizzato una visita supervisionata con tuo fratello prima della finale di domani sera. sorpresa!” (hi amelia, come with me please. we have arranged a supervised visit with your brother prior to the final tomorrow night. surprise!). I stood there in shock staring at one of my players & closest friends, Federico Bernardeschi. I was a person who didn't enjoy spontaneity, who thrived off of preparation and organisation. I needed the opportunity to overthink every situation so that I could prepare for every possible outcome. This was not my idea of a good time. Of course I missed my brother, but I know just how volatile he can be. Nevertheless, I grabbed my jacket and shoved my sneakers on before following Fede down the hall and into a blacked out van that was waiting to take me to St. George’s Park for my family reunion.

Upon arriving, and after a stern pep talk from Fede (who was my appointed supervisor for the visit - not sure I would say he was the most responsible choice but he did talk some sense into me) I walked into the main entrance and saw my father leaning against the reception desk waiting for me.

“Papa!!” I called as I walked over to him, ready to smother him with my love and affection. My father, Dean White, and I had as good of a relationship as possible, being that he was always heavily involved with my brother Ben’s footballing career as well as his own. I think when I came along, my father didn't know how to be a girl dad, so he took my mothers advice and just involved me like he would Ben. I was glad that I would be seeing him first, and he would be taking me to see my no-doubt pissed off brother.

“Dad, this is Fede, one of my players”

“Ciao Dean, it’s very nice to meet you but i am also her bodyguard for this evening” Fede introduced himself to my father and they exchanged pleasantries. I had a look around the foyer of the facility until I heard my name brought up in conversation.

“Amelia, come on. The boys are just over here. I don’t think you have long before heading back to your camp” My dad called to me. Boys? As in...more than just my brother?

“Hahaha that's funny dad, just show me to his room and we can have our screaming match there. Should only be about 20 or so minutes”

“Ben’s not in his room, we have a recreation room for the players and staff to lounge about and relax in. Pretty sure he’ll be in there. Come on, you’ve never been scared of your brother before. Why start now?” Before I knew it, Dad was leading us through some doors and into a large common area with bean bags, pool tables and couches - all occupied by current first team members of the English National Football team.

“Dean mate, don’t normally see you down here after 7pm. Oh look at that, someone let the trash in.” A loud mouthed player, that I used to adore as if he was my own brother, calls out as he notices us enter the room. And just like that, I shake off my nerves, stand in front of my taller & more argumentative bodyguard, relax my shoulders and stare into the eyes of Kyle Walker - daring him to challenge me and push me further.

“Relax Kyle, Benjamin White - your sister is here to see you.” Dad cut Kyle off. I didn’t need him to defend me against Kyle’s harsh comments, I could defend myself.

“Wow, I thought hell would freeze over before I got the opportunity to speak to you. Of course, I didn't realise hell would look quite like seeing you in that shade of blue.” My brother, Ben, spoke bitterly at me as he approached me from the other side of the room. This, coupled with Walker’s exclamation earlier, got the attention of the majority of the players scattered about.

“Ben, if you let me explain in private I'm sure you will be able to understand why things had to be this way” I tried to reason with him. Letting go of my always-defensive guard and pleading with my big brother to open his mind to see my side of the story.

“As if I would even talk to you right now, the night before the final, you’re probably here to try and get some insider information. Boys make sure you don’t say anything to her, she’s as sly as they come” Ben’s words were as sharp as a knife - but I knew what I had to say would cut him deeper.

“Ok that's enough! You are ridiculous! What did you expect me to do? Not take the job because you’re my brother? This is my career we are talking about here” I challenged him. “If you think for one second i stopped supporting you then you must be even more stupid than i thought. Of course this isn't the ideal situation, I'm proud of you for reaching a final but I'm just as proud of myself for doing the same thing.” I got progressively closer to my brother, who stood there with his hands beside himself, unable to get a word in.

“I came tonight to wish you good luck, to tell you I loved you, to give you a hug and tell you to stay safe and play smart. Whilst I still wish all of this for you, I now want you to know that I want you to play your best so I can be better than you. I can show you exactly how good at my job I am. I want you to know that no matter what way you play the ball, I'll be right there waiting for you. I am prepared for this, I hope you are too - so that it will feel that much more sweet when we beat you” I sneered at my older brother, who at this point, is quite visibly feeling a mixture of shock and embarrassment.

I take a step back, let out a breath and shake the tension from my shoulders. Breaking eye contact with my brother, I look briefly - yet confidently - at the other players in the room and take a step back. I turned to my dad, who was looking at me solemnly, as though he wasn’t happy with my outburst but understood it came from a place of frustration with my sibling. Walking up, giving him a kiss on the cheek and wishing him luck, I turned to look at Fede and began to walk to the door. This interaction with my brother, although supposed to be a nice moment shared between siblings, has only gone and motivated me to be at my best tomorrow, to prepare my players to go to war and to come out the other side victorious.

Part 2 | seconda parte

[thegirlwhowritesawksh-t]

la douleur de l'amour - georgenotfound x f!reader

author: @thegirlwhowritesawksh-t​ me!

word count: 4.7k +

warnings: hella angst, mentions of blood/scabs/injuries. if there’s any you think that you see, please let me know!

a/n: hi y’all :)) first off, to whoever’s reading this: stay hydrated, smile and laugh! and second: this is my submission for @bozowrites​ writing event! <33 congrats!!

**this is my second fic, and i’m hoping to push more out as i get more comfortable with writing! i’m thinking to maybe make a part two to this but i don't know yet. please let me know what you think! *sending besitos to y’all :))*

Prompt: Why are you crying?

1:15 p.m.

In the corner of a dimly lit studio in front of the barre, (y/n) leans over to her left, counting four beats before resetting and proceeding to stretch over her right side. After months spent choreographing, picking costumes, and endless bandages wrapped around her feet, it has led to the final product: her first piece in her dance company’s annual recital premiering tonight.

All (y/n) could feel was pure energy and pride at what she has created. It’s her baby after all and nothing could ruin the day for her.

Feeling her joints start to loosen up, she runs through a mental list in her head making sure each dancer had their costumes, knew where all the dancers would start and end on stage, as well as remembering her own choreography, seeing as she had an important section to end her piece. After double-checking, (y/n) then begins to travel to the center of the studio, and begins to run over the piece.

Remember the triple pirouette here, before you end with a leap to fourth position. Finishing in the fourth position, she lets out a curse as she accidently stubs her right thumb toe, a small scab already tearing at the edge. Shaking out her pain, she reattempts the move, succeeding with an effortless bow.

“You know, your piece is going to be excellent. Why are you so worried?”, a voice calls out in the quiet studio, with (y/n) yelping and trying to find where the voice came from. Standing against the edge of the doorway stood Liam, her dance partner and best friend. (y/n) begins to chuckle and runs the piece over again.

“Can’t help but make sure it’s perfect. I have drenched all my blood, sweat and tears creating this dance, this- this masterpiece. It is my first, and most certainly not my last choreographing piece at this company. There’s too much riding on this for me.”, she replies.

“Even if so, I’d like to think you’ll be fine. Don’t stress, it’s amazing. Otherwise, how are you feeling?”

“Kind of excited, kind of feeling like I should run away.”, (y/n) replies. Avoiding to answering the question entirely, she begins to run the piece over again. She continues,

“I think regardless, it should be a great night. George is coming to the recital tonight and it’ll be the first time he’ll be seeing this dance.” With George editing and recording videos for the Dream Team, his Twitch channel, and YouTube channels, (y/n)’s barely seen him since the start of the dance season. The only time she’s been able to spend time with him has been going to bed with him - even if it’s been a bit more rare lately - and sometimes, a free day on a weekend with no dance practice or no recording for George.

“So that’s why you are nervous, how cute.”, Liam laughs, with (y/n) leaping over to Liam and swatting their arm lightly.

“He swore that he’d come tonight, and he knows how much time I’ve spent perfecting this. I just can’t imagine tonight going any other way. I made sure to get him a seat right in the front, so he’ll be able to see the whole performance, and me.”, (y/n) smirks. As soon as (y/n) found out she would be choreographing one of the pieces in the recital, she immediately told George her good news. George had told her she deserved it for working her butt off since the start of her being at the dance academy. Making him pinky swear, George swore that he would be there for her first performance with her also starring as a choreographer.

“So focus on that instead of thinking your piece is going to crash and burn! Relax a bit. We only have a bit of time before we start getting ready, so let’s run it over a few more times. And don’t even think about slacking off now, missy, we’ll stretch and go get ready after.” Liam decides, and she nods, thinking it’s probably for the best. Running to her bag, (y/n) sends a quick message to George.

George J: hey, can’t wait to see you tonight! i left your ticket on your nightstand, and remember to dress up slightly, it’s a dance recital after all ;) lub you xo - sent at 1:34 p.m.

Content with her message, she tosses her phone back into her bag, and heads back to run over the piece with Liam once more.

>>>

6:47 p.m.

Sticking the last bobby-pin to her bun, (y/n) glances in the mirror to make sure no mistake is in place. Eyeing her look, she can’t help but smile looking at her dance attire, admiring how her purple leotard and dress matches her eyeshadow. Paired with a dark nude lip, she smirks and turns to check her phone for any messages, hoping that one could be from George.

Out of the nine messages she received, most were from friends and family, wishing her luck on her performance tonight. She replied with a thanks and a heart emoji before finally reading the last message coming from George about two hours ago.

George J: hi darling, i saw the ticket, i am so excited for you! can’t wait for you to take my breath away, as you always do. love you more xo  - sent at 4:48 p.m.

Smiling even wider, (y/n) puts her phone on silent, before walking towards the backstage area, passing dancers along the way. Grabbing their hands and wishing them good luck, she arrives at the destination, nerves buzzing as members of the audience start gathering at their seats. Deciding to take a peek, (y/n) rushes to the curtains, peeking her eyes out towards the front rows, trying to spot the pale boy who danced into her heart. First row, seat G for George, she giggles to herself.

“Trying to find your lover? I’m right here!” Liam asks, with (y/n) turning around.

“As much as I’d love that, I’m no Harry Styles, so I don’t think I’m your type…” (y/n) smirks.

“Hm. Where’s George, I want to see him!”

“I’m looking for him right now, Liam. Give me a second.”, (y/n) laughs as she turns back to the audience. Finding his seat, she subtly frowns seeing as he’s not in his seat yet. He’s probably in the bathroom, or still in line to get to his seat, (y/n) tries to explain to herself.

“He’s not here yet, I think he’s in the bathroom or something. But give him time, he’ll be here.” (y/n) mutters as Liam frowns at her.

“He better show up, it’s your night, (y/n).”, they grumble. They start to say more however-

“Places, everyone! Take your places! We’re starting at seven sharp!” the stage manager yells out. He continues,

“We start in five minutes!” Rushing to get off the stage, she sees dancers brush past another wishing them luck. As the ballet dancers start to move into their places for the intro piece, she then walks over to Liam, helping them set up the microphone as they begin to breathe slowly.

“Hey, you got this. It’s just reading off of cue cards and announcing pieces. And then you’ll be set for my piece. You’re going to do great, Liam.”, (y/n) tries to motivate, with Liam smiling shyly at her.

“And your piece is going to kick ass, (y/n). It’s perfection. Just wait until George sees you dance. I’m a hundred percent sure he’s going to fall for you even more.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll see…” (y/n) laughs. Liam clears their throat a bit before raising the microphone to their lips. (y/n) proceeds to head to the viewing room, where a broadcast of the show would play for other dancers to watch and support their fellow castmates.

Taking a deep breath, Liam starts to speak as (y/n)’s nerves start to palpitate.

“Hello, how are you this evening? And welcome to the 67th Annual Recital for the London Dance Academy! I am your emcee, Liam Barrings, and let me introduce you to the first dance of the night created by Sam Hastings. Here is Invictus!”

>>>

8:51 p.m.

An hour later, seven dances, and many whispered good jobs, it is finally time for (y/n) to step on stage and premiere her masterpiece. Slowly tip-toeing to her first position on stage, she glances at her castmates, thanking them silently in her mind for them to trust her to bring her visions to life. Before the curtains open, she turns to Liam on her right, kneeling down and grabbing her thighs, and they smile back at her.

“Ready for it?”, they smirk. Thinking to herself, she nods and turns back to the front of the curtains waiting for the music to begin. Remember the triple pirouette after Liam grabs you. And try to look like you’re in pain from loving him. It is exquisite pain, right (y/n)? Liam is toxic, yet you still love them. Make it believable. And finally, breathe.

Another emcee, Josh begins to speak.

“And now, I present to you (y/n - y/ln)’s dance. This is her first piece with her own choreography with the London Dance Academy, and tonight, we are the very first group of people to watch her story come to life. Please let me introduce you to (y/n) and her piece, La Douleur Exquise!” the audience claps softly, before the curtains open its wings to reveal the creation.

The background, a stark white, yet the lights casts hues of soft lilacs, with streaks of dark reds splattering across the dancers’ bodies. With a small pause, music begins to sing out of the speakers. Liam and (y/n) begin the piece with a small duet. Following closely behind, a quad of dancers mimicking their moves with childlike innocence.

Liam turns to (y/n), conveying an I love you through their linked hands and they abruptly pull her to their arms, as she looks at them with confusion in her eyes and pulling away. Gliding towards the middle, the quad walks slowly to (y/n), enveloping her with open arms, before having a dance section with (y/n) in the middle as Liam looks on, hellbent on grasping (y/n) once more. Every other beat, (y/n) turns to Liam, feeling lost as if they were missing from her.

As the quad looks away, having their own small solos, (y/n) slips away from the group only to leap back into Liam’s arms with her hands grasping their face as Liam slowly grips her waist. Looking at her with renewed interest, his face morphs into fury as one of the dancers pass by her, softly guiding his fingers from her shoulder down to her inner wrist. An angry duet starts, with Liam and (y/n) clashing against each other, as if saying they hate but love each other at the same time.

(y/n) leaps into Liam’s arms, before slowly sliding herself off him as the quad of dancers, follow closely behind, lifting (y/n) to her feet. Everyone proceeds to move as one, with the quad dancing in the center, whereas Liam paces their way to (y/n), lifting her into the air once again, before they land in a small leap. Conversing with their bodies, Liam guides (y/n)’s hands to their heart, slightly pulling her along. Finally coming to the end of the dance, (y/n) runs to the center of the stage, facing the audience.

Grabbing her left arm is Liam, pulling her to their side, and the quad of dancers are pulling her on her right. The war between the two goes back and forth in a tug-of-war before (y/n) seemingly gives up and slams herself to the ground, as the music fades into silence. The audience erupts into booming claps and cheers, and (y/n) feels herself being pulled up from the ground by Liam as a light blush covers her skin. Glancing up at the audience, she tries to smile despite the stage lights burning into her. I did it, I managed to make a story, my story come to life. Hearing the audience continuing to clap, realization sets in and she finds her eyes wandering over to the front row, seat G for George. Seat empty, her smile falters and her eyes become glassy. Some would think because of her success with her piece. She couldn’t tell if she was happy or sad, maybe it was a little bit of both.

>>>

9:23 p.m.

He’s here, he has to be. He’s probably peeing or waiting for me in the front with flowers, or in the dressing room. He has to be here, I know it, (y/n) mutters to herself, hellbent on her beliefs that George is here. Yet the bitter taste of rejection starts to seep into her bones. Shaking her head a bit and attempting to put on the brightest smile, she starts to rush back to the dressing room, a sinking feeling residing in her stomach with each looming step.

Facing the dressing room door, (y/n) can’t help but hope that maybe George is standing there with a bouquet of flowers and kisses reserved for her. Slowly opening the door, her hopes slip through with her mouth curling as she stares at only her reflection in the mirror. He swore that he’d be here. He swore that he would be here for my first performance, (y/n) softly whispers to herself, tears threatening to fall. Gasping, she finally lets herself breathe as she repeats to herself again and again that he wasn’t here.

A soft knock on the door interrupts her thoughts, causing (y/n) to quickly wipe her tears before foolishly yelling out,

“George?”, as the door opens to reveal Liam and the Director himself, Nicholas Anderson.

“(y/n)? It’s us. Where’s George?” Liam asks, a frown settling into his brows.

“Oh, he’s just in the bathroom, he hasn’t been feeling good.” She lies, feeling bile itch her throat. A little white lie shouldn’t hurt anyone, (y/n) thought.

“Hello, (y/n). You looked wonderful out there! Your dance was easily one of the highlights of the night, I couldn’t stop replaying the duet between you and Liam in my head. Your dance truly captured the aspects of a toxic relationship not from one side but from both of point of views. It truly showed exquisite pain, knowing that you would always go back to Liam, but would Liam be there for you?” Nicholas explains, his words smacking (y/n) at full force. Is- is George there for me?, (y/n) thinks to herself. Nicholas continues on,

“I think you are a great addition to our Academy, and tonight truly proved how ready you are to become a full-time member. So how about it? Next season, we’ll be adding you to the roster of choreographers.” Eyes wide, (y/n) nods furiously with a yes and hugs Liam. Nicholas smiles and exits the room, leaving behind two excited dancers jumping around.

“You did it! Now we have to celebrate! Club night, I don’t care. We are going to get plastered! Bring George!” Liam laughs. At the mention of George, her stomach turns as she then realizes George wasn’t here. What sounded like good news turns to rot as she starts thinking of George.

“Let me check my phone, it has been a while in the bathroom, huh?” (y/n) tries to joke, trying hard to not let her voice waver and letting her brain scramble to come up with another small lie. Reaching through her phone, she reads over the texts once again sent from family and friends, finding the conversation between her and George. No new messages, her heart sinks as she slowly starts to open up the rest of her notifications, scrolling to most likely find the purple box that would always stay permanently stuck on her home screen. With bright white letters glaring at her, her heart begins to ebb away feeling a familiar sense of loneliness.

1h, 53 min ago: MINECRAFT MANHUNT W/ THE DREAM TEAM

Relying on her emotions, she turns to face Liam, hoping that her excitement of her promotion would overcome the feeling of abandonment of the man she loved. Plastering a sad smile through watery eyes, she forces out,

“George isn’t feeling well, he’s got an upset stomach. I think it’s the stomach flu going around.” If you can convey pain through dance, you can lie through this as well, (y/n) thought. She continues,

“I don’t know if I should be going out since he’s sick.” (y/n) mutters.

“So we go without him! It’s your celebration, his loss.” Liam rolls their eyes. His loss, my loss - seems like the same.

“I- I don’t know, Liam… I’d want to celebrate with him as well.”

“And I get that, but at least go out with us. You always have tomorrow with him, or later tonight. Do it for tonight, do it because you’re going to be a choreographer next season! At least do it for me and the group. We’ve worked our ass all season and we made your vision come true.” Liam explains. Contemplating with herself, (y/n) resolves with a soft smile and mutters an okay. Pumping their fist in the air, Liam excuses themselves to notify the others of the good news and plans.

Once again facing the mirror, (y/n) repeats with determination to celebrate her night. It’s her night to celebrate with loved ones, even if the one she loved the most isn’t there beside her. So much trying to take your breath away when you weren’t even here, George. Taking a breath, she forces out a shaky laugh and tries to smile. Let’s go celebrate, (y/n).

>>>

1:39 a.m.

Slightly stumbling out of the taxi, (y/n) manages to slowly walk her way up to his doorsteps, phone still showing that George was still streaming. Pausing her hand on the doorknob, she resolves to try to wait until morning to confront him, not trusting herself completely to be okay in front of him. Opening the door softly, she walk in, attempting to not make a sound. With small steps, she closes and locks the door before setting her bags down. That can be cleaned tomorrow, (y/n) thought. Rubbing her eyes, she decides to make herself tea before she goes to bed, most likely not with George until he finishes his stream.

While making her tea, (y/n) thinks of everything that she has worked for in the last few months. Endless changes to her dance, countless small injuries, whether it be a jammed toe/finger, scrapes of blood scattered around her feet from dragging her feet too hard across the floor, everything. Why is it that with her triumph, she is beyond proud yet the idea of George not being there to witness her moment shatters that accomplishment? Mulling it over, she doesn’t notice George bustling down the stairs, finished with his successful 5 hour stream with Dream and Sapnap. Spotting (y/n) making her tea, he slowly approaches her and wraps his arms around her waist, landing a soft kiss to her shoulders.

“Why are you home late, Darling? It’s nearly almost two in the morning.”, George chuckles, as (y/n) freezes in his arms. Softly shaking her head, she tries to side-step out of his arms and brings her tea to the opposite side of the room, wrapping an arm around herself. Clearly, he didn’t remember, (y/n) slowly starts to think and repeat to herself.

“Why do you think I was out, George?” she softly asks, taking a sip of tea to calm her nerves. I guess we’re just going to have to hash it out now.

“I don’t know, but did you see the stream? I beat Dream at the last second and he was this close to defeating the Ender Dragon!”, George starts to explain while laughing, with (y/n) taking a harsh breath in. Pinching in-between her brows, she snaps,

“No, George, I didn’t see the stream because I went out to celebrate.”, she mutters, tears slowly starting to escape.

“(y/n)? Is there something wrong? Why are you crying?“ Turning around, (y/n) tries to look anywhere but him. She settles on looking at the clock, watching as time went by, and her nerves increasing with each second. George starts to say more-

“I needed you tonight. Do you remember what tonight was? To my career? To me?”, (y/n) cuts him off. Standing there without a thought, dread slowly seeps in as George realizes that he missed her performance. He starts to stutter,

“Darling, I- “

“No! No. You do not get to apologize. I needed you and where were you? Sitting on your ass playing Minecraft with Dream and Sapnap! I get that your career is very reliant on you being consistent with your uploads, but you couldn’t have taken a night off? For me? I- ”

“(y/n), it’s not like that at- “

“Don’t- just don’t try to explain or come up with excuses. I just don’t want to hear it George. I spent months working on this, exhausted yet still pushing myself for the damn Academy. You swore that you would be there. I left you the ticket on your nightstand, you even texted me saying that you were excited to come! So imagine me standing on stage, looking at the front row, seat G, and where the hell were you? Not there, George. You were not there. I looked like a fool waiting for you to see me perform and dance. Do you remember Nicholas Anderson?”, (y/n) tries to ask calmly. George only stare at her with defeated eyes as he shakes his head no. Cursing, she heaves out a breath before continuing,

“He’s the director of the Academy, George. He’s offered me a position to be a permanent member and choreographer for the London Dance Academy. So please, let me ask again: where were you? I had to lie to Liam and say that you had an upset stomach and that you couldn’t come out! So, Liam invited me to celebrate with the dancers, to celebrate tonight’s success.”

“(y/n)- (y/n), we can celebrate now. I know- I truly know I messed up, but I can fix it, we can celebrate right now!” George stumbles out, walking towards her to grab her hands. Stepping back, she glares at George, appalled that he truly thinks he could resolve this. Shaking her head harshly, she bites out,

“I don’t want to celebrate with you. I’ve already celebrated with loved ones.” Rolling his eyes, George tries to reason with (y/n).

“Okay, I get it. I’m the bad guy in this scenario. But I’m trying to make this right. I am so sorry, darling, but I want to make it up to you, you know I am sorry.”

“You know, I never ask you to cancel a stream or get off of the stream. I always try to understand for the life of me why the streams have to be long, but I try. I always watch your streams and interact with your fans for your sake. I’ve had to explain countless reasons as to why you never show up to my performances, or why you can’t go out with me with the other dancers. And I am okay with it, don’t get me wrong. I know how much Twitch and YouTube and the Dream Team means to you. But you mean everything to me as well. So forgive me if I wanted to be a little selfish and ask you to support me in one of the biggest performances of my life.”

“I can go to the next one, (y/n). It’s not like it’s the last performance.” George snaps.

“You don’t get it, do you?”, she asks, wiping furiously at her tears, trying to not stutter through her words.

“What is there to get? Clearly I’m trying my hardest to make it up to you.”, he replies.

“I love you. I’m so much in love with you, it hurts. But you don’t get it. I have been there for everything in your career. Your first hundred subscribers, your first million subscribers, when you won the MCC back to back, everything. This was- is the important night of my life, and you didn’t show up. You stuck with Dream and Sapnap and decided to stream instead. This night was important for my career, and you knew! I told you months and weeks in advance. I wanted you to take charge and clear your schedule for today and- and sit in the damn seat that I chose because G stood for George. It was for you.” She sobs out, chest shaking as she tries to collect the words tumbling out of her mouth. With eyes flashing in annoyance, George tries to speak over her tears,

“(y/n)- “

“I created this dance for you! For me and- and for us. Because we believed in each other and had the support for each other. Clearly, it was one-sided and tonight proved that.”

“(y/n), listen to me- ”, George stops himself. Watching (y/n) fall apart, he takes a shaky breath and tries to walk closer to (y/n). However, (y/n) takes more steps back, leaving a distance of hostility and guilt between the two lovers.

“I love you. I love you with all of my heart. And… and I know you love me. But I needed you. Do you even need me?” she asks, the thick silence covering the air.

“Yes! How- how could you even say that, (y/n)?“ George replies just as quick as she finished asking. Looking at him for the first time tonight, she lets out a sob. With cheeks red, hands tugging at his hair, and George frantically looking at her, (y/n) can’t help but cry a little more.

“Because tonight proved otherwise. I wanted a night of you to myself to watch me be pretty and dance, and you didn’t even give up one night for me.”, she says, tugging at her sweater. Looking up, she further goes on to say,

“How stupid would it be if I were to ask to choose between me or the Dream Team? Or- Or your career?”, barking out a bitter laugh as George stares with guilt. As silence meets her ears, (y/n) slowly starts to sober up, eyes slightly widening with shock.

“George…”

“I’d find a way to make it work, I’ve been making it work for us since the beginning!” George snaps.

“George, you know I would never ask that, because I personally think it’s a selfish question. But if I decided to ask seriously, right now. What’s your answer?”

“And I’m telling you, I am making both work. Please believe me, (y/n).”, George says quietly, grasping at whatever opportunities there are left to resolve this potentially fatal matter.

“I can’t tell anymore.”, her voice cracking as fresh tears pool down her cheeks.

“I don’t think I can stay here for a while. At least until I’ve had some time to think.”, she manages to force out.

“(y/n), you can’t be serious. No, we are fixing this now!” George tries to say with an unwavering voice, eyes slowly becoming glassy.

“I can’t look at you George without wanting to cry, and- and scream- yet tell you I love you, even if you don’t deserve my love, especially right now. I need to go- I’m going to go. I’ll be back in a while.”, (y/n) says, choking on her words. Walking backwards, she turns to the door, with George following her and watching her pick up her dance bags. Lying on the ground was a bouquet of flowers, crumpled amongst her heart. Choosing not to pick up the bouquet, she mumbles out,

“I’ll call you when I’m ready.” Pausing, (y/n) looks up at George for the final time tonight, willing herself to not run back to him, despite how much the desire is growing to do so.

“I love you, George.”, opening the door, George yells out,

“I love- “, the door cutting through his confession, acting as a wall between the two. George tries to reach the door knob, ready to run after the love of his life. Yet… he’s frozen on the spot, with tears finally trickling down his cheeks, and pushing deep breaths out to steady his shaking heart.

Why are you crying, George?

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 18X01

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I was really excited for the Premiere and I have never been so disappointed in my life. It took me a few days to write this review because I’m just so unimpressed. I feel like the only interesting parts of the Season 18 Premiere were the Meredith and Hayes FaceTime call, Levi in that outfit and Jo with that hair, and the interviews. That's it. I mean Teddy and Owen’s two weddings were interesting if you’re a Teddy and Owen shipper, but I never have been so that didn’t really do anything for me.

The pacing of the episode was super slow and it was just altogether boring. There were also just so many inconsistencies. For example, Teddy and Owen originally planned to get married at the park with just Megan, Farouk, Evelyn, Leo, and Allison which doesn’t make sense because prior to their break up they were talking about planning their dream wedding. Now they finally get married and Richard didn’t even know about it? They asked Megan to fly in, but they didn’t tell their friends at the hospital after they just all attended Maggie and Winston’s wedding two weeks earlier?

It’s also not clear if Meredith knows that they got married which is weird because she’s the main character of the show and was an integral part of Owen’s previous two weddings one of which was held at her house. Also, Amelia and Link weren’t there and it’s not clear if they even knew about the wedding which is weird because Meredith, Amelia, and Link were all present when Owen proposed to Teddy at Christmas at Meredith’s house and they are all co-parenting Leo together.

While I appreciated the shift to a lighter tone and that they chose to have this season exist in a post-COVID alternative universe where we can see the actors faces again without the PPE and return to escapism the Premiere didn't pack the punch I was expecting. The premieres are usually super shocking and action packed and this one just wasn't. It was just boring and all of the most interesting stuff happened off camera during the two weeks between the Season 17 Finale and the Season 18 Premiere which is just stupid.

I saw the priest getting hit by one of the cyclists coming a few minutes before it happened based on the promo and the context of the scene and there wasn't a big shocking event like there usually is. The pace of the Premiere really felt off to me. My friend Amy who I watch with every week described it as the pacing you usually associate with a nice stroll through a moonlit garden. Fine for episode two or three or a connecting episode but not the Premiere. I feel like they really misjudged what fans were looking for and I’m hoping that they do the work and course correct now that the Premiere has aired and the completely dismal fan reaction as come out.

One of the few bright spots for me was the introduction of Peter Gallagher as Dr. David Hamilton. I love him as an actor! He's great! His recent roles in Grace and Frankie and Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist were fantastic! I was super excited when I heard he was coming to Grey's. I like Dr. Hamilton so far and I'm interested to see how his relationship with Ellis and Meredith having dreams about her mother following her battle with COVID will play into the story this season. While it would be interesting to see Meredith work in Minnesota temporarily like Cristina did back in Season 9, I don't want her there permanently. Seattle is as much a character in the show as any of the main characters we've come to love, and something would be missing for me if she moved.

To be perfectly honest, it doesn't make much sense to me for Meredith to move to Minnesota permanently when she only knows a few people there. Who would watch her kids? If she's going to move to me, it makes more sense for her to move to Kansas where Alex is or Switzerland where Cristina is. Her kids have already lost their father and so many other caregivers and Meredith has stuck it out in Seattle for so long after everything that's happened that her moving to Minnesota for me would be bonkers.

Also, where were her kids in the Premiere? All of the interviews that came out prior to the Premiere talked about how Meredith’s focus at the beginning of the season would be on her work and her kids, but they were nowhere to be found in the Premiere and it’s not clear whose watching them while Meredith is in Minnesota. The interviews also made it seem like Meredith and Hayes would still be circling each other at the start of the season with quotes about how timing hadn’t been on their side, that they still needed to have an official drink and go out on a date, and that while Meredith wasn’t looking for a relationship one might find her.

That had literally nothing to do with the Premiere we saw whatsoever! The kids were MIA and it turned out that Meredith and Hayes started dating off screen following Maggie and Winston’s wedding and we didn’t get to see ANY of the firsts they talked about so much over the last two seasons. So stupid. The Premiere was a total rip off. I hate that Nick Marsh is back and I’ve never gone from liking a character and an actor to hating them in such a short period of time ever. My God. I’m so pissed off about this. What the hell were they thinking? Why did they think we would want this at all?

Don’t get me wrong, I loved Nick Marsh as a character and Scott Speedman's portrayal of him when he first showed up in Season 14. I was all ready for him to be Meredith's next great love and I was on board. But then he disappeared and was never heard from again and it was reported that Speedman wanted to take a break from TV for a while so I mourned the loss of what could have been and moved on. I sat through the out of character nonsense that was the DeLuca storyline in the belief that eventually that storyline would end, and Meredith would get a real proper love interest that made sense and would be her post-Derek endgame.

So, I was really excited when they introduced Hayes and I have really come to love his character and his budding relationship with Meredith. I feel like I've been waiting forever to finally see them go on a date and I am super pissed off that we didn't get to see it. I would have loved this storyline with Nick if they had introduced it at any previous point in time, but now after they've spent so much time setting up Meredith and Hayes it's just infuriating. I feel immense rage over how they handled Meredith and Hayes and Meredith and Nick’s storylines in the Premiere. I'm so angry. The whole thing just made no sense. That Premiere should never have aired. It never should have gotten past the draft stage. It was that bad. The first date and all of the firsts that come with a new relationship are the most exciting parts of a romantic storyline for me and I love seeing all of that on screen. They hyped Meredith and Hayes’ relationship up so much and even had the two of them talk about 'firsts' and dating after death so for their first date to happen off screen along with Austin's panic attacks and bad reaction to his Dad starting to date again is just such a rip off.

I have stuck with this show through thick and thin and for them to reward that loyalty by having the most interesting parts of that storyline happen off screen while showing a bunch of stuff on screen with other characters that they could have just told us about? So ridiculous. I was so excited for this season and now I'm just angry. I'm hoping that they are building to a big mid-season finale where Meredith is going to return to Seattle and by that time Bailey will have helped Hayes out with Austin and the two of them will finally get together on screen but I'm starting to feel like every time I get invested in one of the Meredith's new love interests, they pull the rug out from under me and I'm getting really fed up.

In other news, I'm not too surprised that Megan and Riggs broke up off screen only because Virgin River, which I love, just got picked up for two more seasons and I imagine Martin Henderson is busy filming that and it looks like Megan is going to be around for a while and they had to explain it somehow. I loved Meredith and Riggs together and I hated how they ended that storyline so I'm not sad about them breaking up off screen.

The Premiere also broke my heart over Amelia and Link’s storyline. It’s just so stupid. It’s drama for drama’s sake that’s all it is and it’s tired. When did marriage become so important to Link? In the span of a few months, he went from being totally fine with not getting married and checking in with Amelia every few weeks on how she felt to convincing himself that Amelia wanted him to propose so he did so at her sister's wedding and used her dead brother's children to do it. Amelia's right the whole thing was super messed up and manipulative and she was right to say no.

Link decided marriage was important to him and that fostering Luna would be totally fine without ever talking to Amelia. Yes, Amelia should have shared her thoughts with him too, but he also should have paid attention. Now their otherwise healthy relationship is over because she doesn't want to participate in an archaic ritual that involves signing a contract and exchanging vows? That's just stupid. I hope they find a way to work it out and get back together because I really like them as a couple.

I like Dr. Michelle Lin the new Head of Plastic of Surgery that Bailey and Richard are looking to hire. I thought for sure after that photo of the other guy made the rounds on social media that he was going to be the new Head of Plastics, but then he said that he doesn't do "free" and I knew he was out. I'm excited for there to be another female surgeon of colour on the show as the gender and racial balance on the show has been more white and male as of late and I think Grey's is at its best when you have a roughly equal number of women and men and as many different races being represented as possible.

I think it makes the storylines more interesting and authentic and personally gives me more characters that I can identify with. This new doctor seems driven, determined, and could have a potentially interesting dynamic with Richard and Bailey. She’s also giving me some Cristina Yang vibes and I’m all for that. I love Cristina. Always have. Always will. That being said, I'm a bit confused as to where they are going with Jo's storyline as I thought for sure the new Head of Plastics would be a guy and her new love interest. But Bailey did say they still needed to hire a new general surgeon and a new neurosurgeon so maybe one of them will be for her?

I can't really say that there was anything I loved about the Premiere which is disappointing. Jo's parenting hair dye mishap was funny, Levi's outfit cracked me up, and I liked that Bailey agreed to help Hayes out, but that's about it. The thing I was most excited for coming into this season was Meredith finally being back on her feet and seeing the romantic storyline between her and Hayes finally come to fruition.

Finding out that she's going to be in Minnesota for the foreseeable future, she and Hayes started dating off screen but had to call it quits because seeing his Dad date someone new caused Austin to have panic attacks, and finding out that Nick Marsh is back? I hated it. I don't understand how the same person who wrote the Season 16 masterpiece “Snowblind” with that amazing snow scene between Meredith and Hayes wrote the Premiere. I just don't understand. I really hope they're not going to do a love triangle with Meredith, Hayes, and Nick because that would just be so stupid.

She's a forty something award-winning surgeon who's a widowed single mother of three. Love triangles made sense when she was young intern, but at this point it's just dumb. I also didn't feel the chemistry this time around between Meredith and Nick like I did the first time. It felt forced and flat. I like Maggie and Winston together, but I didn't find their storyline in the Premiere particularly engaging. I'm glad that Amelia stayed true to herself, but I hate that Link has decided marriage is the only way forward and that they're still fighting.

The only moment that really made me laugh out of the hour was when Jo opened the door and Levi was in that ridiculous outfit. I loved the FaceTime call between Meredith and Hayes, but I hated the context. Honestly, I'm not really excited about any upcoming storyline this season which makes me really sad. I'm usually super positive and hopeful when it comes to this show, but this episode just stomped all over my dreams. All I can hope for now is that they pull a twist and everything I was hoping for happens in the mid-season finale otherwise I don't think I'm going to like this season very much.

Until next time!

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "Yesterday's Lie" from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who absolutely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!

Here it is! The midseason finale of The Owl House Season Two! An episode featuring Luz going back to the human realm, is hyped up to heaven about how painful it'll be for the audience, and features more anxiety by how Creepy Luz is a thing. And BOOOOOOOOY howdy were fans not ready for this. I'm sure as hell not ready for when I wrote this intro at *checks time* thirty minutes before watching the official premier. Yup, the words you're reading right now are from me in the past, when everything was still pure and simple. Whereas future me is still probably destroyed by the events that transpired. Isn't that right, future me?

Future Me: Actually, it wasn’t that bad. The ending hurt, sure, but other than that, it wasn’t too painful.

Wow, that is some neat input! At least, I think it was. I wouldn't know because I literally wrote that after watching the episode. With the words you're currently reading being written at *checks time* twenty-six minutes before the premier...this whole intro is confusing, isn't it, future me?

Future Me: Sure is.

Yeah, it's definitely confusing. In any case, let's dive into this spoiler-filled review as we find out together just how painful this episode was! Take it away, future me!

Future Me: Will do! Major spoilers ahead, folks!

Now, let’s review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Luz’s Room: We only see it for a short time, but everything about it just screams Luz. The pile of weird-looking stuffed animals, the witch hat in the center of the floor, and the fact that she has bunk beds, a single child's dream (Or so I've heard). It's a small thing, but I love it.

Vee: Here she is! The character previously dubbed Creepy Luz who now turns out to be yet another new addition to the ever-growing list of characters that we, as a fandom, would give our lives for. Because holy s**t was Vee the best type of expectation subversion. Showing us all the ominous ways of how she basically took Luz's place made fans assume that Vee was an evil doppelganger. Turns out, she was just a tortured soul that was desperate to live a new and better life and lucked out in finding Luz's. What Vee does is...questionable at best, but seeing what she went through with the experiments Belos pulled on her, you understand why she would do it. And I personally love it's that same background information that makes Vee resentful of Luz of all people. Luz's life is a relative dream come true, and running away from that would be insane to someone who spent most of their existence through imprisonment and experimentation. It's an intriguing point of view, even though it's admittingly flawed given how it's mostly Camila that seemingly made Luz's life bearable. But the flaws don't matter. What matters is that you can see where Vee is coming from, and to me, personally, I think she's understandable enough to make me root for her to have some kind of happy ending. Whether as Luz or as herself, I'm hopeful to see Vee get some semblance of peace.

Camila: *Round of applause* Don't mind me! Just taking the time to love how all them sons of b**hes who thought Camila was a bad mom are now heavily invalidated. 'Cause, guess what? Camila is a fantastic mother, both to her daughter and her daughter's doppelganger! Allow me to walk you through the highlights:

How Camila looks like she’s not okay with the fact that "Luz" is clearing out her weird stuff, seemingly acting too different to the Luz she knows. Added to the fact that Camila doesn't like it.

How Camila drove Luz to camp whether than letting her take the bus

The fact that Camila takes that box of junk back in, not willing to part with the tin foil sculpture Luz made.

The way she was willing to play along with the game she thought Luz was doing, supporting her daughter's creative mind that Camila admits to being glad to see.

And, best of all, the willingness Camila had to help this poor creature, despite the lies it lived.

It's that last part I really want to touch upon, though. Because an action like that shows just how much Luz's heart comes from Camila. The kindness and generosity of helping this poor creature, who she has every right to run out on, proves how Luz learned to be everything she is today through Camila's own loving heart. Vee was scared and hurt, and the second Camila saw that she was then more than willing to help because of it. It's something that Luz would do, and it proves that even though Camila didn't exactly get everything right, she's still a great mom where it counts.

“A new life”: A perfect line.

Initially, it makes audiences think that it has everything to do with replacing Luz. It's only through future context that we know it's about escaping the s**t show Vee once lived through that it's clear she's talking about starting over. It hits us with intrigue on the first viewing, only to hit harder with the feels during a second. Really well-done.

Luz in the Mirror: A well-done surprise that makes fans curious about how this even happen in the first place. Kudos to you, writers.

The New Portal: I don't mind that they found a way to build this off-screen. Showing Luz and the gang slowly building a new portal would have been a little too tedious to watch, and it's so much better to just start this episode out with it. Besides, maybe we'll get the slow and steadier version now that we've seen how quickly building one might not have been the best way to go, given how fast that thing fell apart.

Luz Between Dimensions: I have no clue what the hell that place she was in is called, but it's awesome! The overall design of the realm is the correct type of unsettling, like it's oozing with mystery, but it's somewhere that you probably don't want to be in for too long. Whoever designed it deserves all of the credit because I don't want to even think about all the hard work that went into making this look as well-made as it was.

Luz Resisting to See Amity: What? Luz and Amity are adorable, and seeing Luz's immediate thought about seeing Amity makes my shipping heart scream with glee. Don't judge me!

Hiding Luz’s Dad’s Face: Well, that was a fun story while it lasted.

So, it turns out that Luz's dad really was a part of Luz's and Camila's life at some point, but not anymore. As for why remains to be seen, as we don't really know yet if we'll see him make an appearance. I'd say that the odds are high that he will, given how much of a point this episode made about keeping his face hidden. Shows don't usually do that unless the goal is to hype up some official reveal, and I can't wait to see what comes of it.

Luz Telling Herself to Count to Five: Hey, more evidence for how I relate to Luz! I know how it feels to be all panicky about a specific situation, and I only got better when I took the time to calm down for a bit. Sometimes, I even tried the "count to x" method that Luz used...it never worked, primarily because it made me feel worse when people told me to do it, but I still tried it! Plus, there's also some narrative foreshadowing when after Luz says five, the realm shows her Vee, or Number V, which is a pretty cool detail you'll notice on a rewatch.

Luz Helping Vee: I gave Camila praise for helping Vee in the end, but that doesn't abstain Luz from her own set of recognition. The second that Luz realized that Vee wasn't really a threat and is far from evil, our favorite human does what she can to help and even makes a deal where they're both happy. Because, of course, Luz is that perfect of a protagonist who is more than willing to help others in need. And it's why we love her so.

Looking for Magic that Eda Left Behind: A pretty cool idea that gives Luz and Vee a chance to bond and giving us an insight into Eda's past antics and misadventures in the human realm. Not much I can add to it, though.

Gravesfield: It's surprisingly not as jarring as I thought it would be to spend an episode in the human realm. I thought for sure, after all that time in the Boiling Isles, there would be something off about walking around a normal environment for a change. Turns out, it's almost easy to get used to. Or, for me, it is.

But I will say that there's this neat use of colors when comparing Gravesfield with the Boiling Isles. In Gravesfield, the coloring looks dulled down and standard, which is a stark contrast to the bright vibrancy of everything we've seen in the Boiling Isles. It's a subtle way of showing how things are different, aside from the major discrepancies we could come to expect. And I think that's why I appreciate it much more.

Eda’s Called Herself Marylynn in the Human Realm: Hang on...hang on...do you mean to tell me that the crack theory about Eda being Stan's ex-wife is actually true?

...

...What even is this show?!

Vee Making Friends with Camp Members: This shows the most apparent difference between Luz and Vee. Where we see Luz is already fearing the many ways that could go wrong with interacting with teens, Vee revealed that she adapted to her situation and had a chance to make friends. The implications of this are worth discussing another time, but for now, I'll say that it's pretty intriguing that we gain this much insight into both Luz and Vee through such a small thing.

Belos Wanting to Learn How Basilisks can Drain Magic: ...Didn't Raine say that Belos was taking away magic? If so, I think we can figure out how he's doing it. The question now is: Why?

Jacob (The Curator Guy): This guy was a riot. At first, Jacob seemed like a threat with the way he trapped Vee and was apparently stocking her, but the second he goes off about his conspiracy theories, it becomes clear what type of character he is. And was it a blast seeing how much of a crackpot this man is. It wasn't cool seeing him wanting to dissect the precious angel that is Vee, but I still chuckle about things like his "Flat Eather's Certificate." So while he's not that much of a threat, he's still fun to watch.

The Owl Beast was in the Human Realm: ...How did that happen? When did it happen? And how the hell did Eda get out of a situation like that?! Who knows, but it's still a shocking piece of news to learn.

Luz Telling Camila the Truth: Hey, she faced her fear after all! Although, the results aren't as pleasant as when Amity faced her fear two weeks ago.

Camila is a Veterinarian: ...One insignificant reveal...managed to destroy so many fanfics. I mean, we probably shouldn't have just assumed Camila was a nurse...but what the f**k else were we supposed to think?! Sorry for seeing the scrubs, and the first thing that came to my mind was "nurse" and not "vet."

By the way, that had to have been intentional, right? There's no way that Dana Terrace didn't think we'd assume Camila was a nurse. She'd had to have put off a reveal like that just to trip up her fans. And if that's the case, then that is a major d**k move...but that's why I mildly respect it.

Two Human Brothers went to the Demon Realm: Turns out we don't have to be in the Boiling Isles to learn more about it. Because now we have more information about how two humans were taken to the Isles with the help of a witch, thus setting up a grander reveal if it turns out that one of the humans was Philip and the witch was Belos. Because if that's true...then there's more of a history between those two than we thought.

Jacob has a Training Wand: This helps me believe that it's highly likely for Jacob to make a return and to have a power boost for when he does. After all, focussing all that attention on the training wand is way too convenient for it not to come up again in the future. Meaning we're most likely going to get more pain from Jacob if he shows up again.

Camila Beats the Crap out of Jacob for Vee: ...Writers, don't make me choose between Camila and Eda on who's the better cartoon mom. I know Eda's technically not a mom...BUT I STILL DON'T WANT TO CHOOSE DAMNIT!

Also, the sandal...just...

Why the f**k does Camila have a sandal in her purse? I don't know. Is it still funny that she does? Most certainly.

Camila and Luz’s Talk in the Rain: Ooooooooh, I was not ready for this...

I wasn't ready for the crying.

I wasn't ready for the hurt in Camila's eyes when she found out Luz chose to stay in the Boiling Isles.

I wasn't ready for Camila asking if Luz hates being with her that much.

I wasn't ready for Luz profusely stating how it was never Camila's fault.

I was not ready for Camila to tell Luz that she'll try to do better.

And I definitely was not ready for Luz to barely have enough time to promise that she'll come back.

This episode wasn't the twenty-two minutes of nonstop angst that I thought it was going to be...but this short scene more than make up for it.

Luz Tries to Stay Strong: Yet another thing she unwittingly learned from Camila. Camila tried to keep a brave face when Vee was with her and Luz, most likely not wanting to tear either of them down in the process. Luz does the same thing here as she avoids talking about the details of what went down in her sort-of journey back home. And seeing her clearly fake smile slowly droop into an uncertain frown, it uh...it definitely tore me up inside.

WHAT I DISLIKED

I want to say it's perfect, but there's one major issue that really bogs this episode down.

Continuity Error in How Vee Replaced Luz: Having Vee take Luz's place the same day Luz appeared in the Isles is a smart idea on paper...if it wasn't for the fact that it's impossible.

Because Eda closed the portal door the second that she saw Luz, meaning that there's no way for Vee to go to the human realm. It's a major plothole that makes no sense, and it might just be the first time ever that this series wasn't so closely knit with its story. Which ends up taking a dive in quality in the process.

IN CONCLUSION

I'd say that "Yesterday's Lie" is an A-. Everything about Luz, Vee, and Camila is incredible, combined into a story that ends in tragedy and uncertainty for the future. That plothole may drag things down a bit, but everything else is handled so well that I'm not lying when I say it's easy to forgive and forget.

(And that's ten episodes in a row without a single stinker. HOW THE F**K DOES THIS SEASON KEEP WINNING?!)

[cpd-55055]

Season 9 Finale Theories

It’s almost here guys! I can’t believe Season 9 is almost over. Tonight’s episode looks like a doozy and I’m so ready for it. I’m sure you have seen and heard a bunch of theories in the past week since the promo and promo pictures have been released. Some are related to the case, some are related to personal lives of the characters. So below, I have added my final theories of this penultimate/finale episodes.

So let’s get the most obvious thing out of the way, the EXPLOSION💥. Clearly an explosion happens and my gut tells me it will happen in the last few minutes of the episode. The explosion will happen, Jay and Hailey will be lying on the ground not moving, and bam...to be continued.

We know that Jay is going to be fine, especially after seeing the new promo pics for the finale, so I think something will happen to Hailey. We saw a bts picture of Hailey and Kim in her Jeep and Hailey had a small cut on her cheek. I think the finale will pick up right after the explosion. Hailey and Jay are fine, Hailey only has a small cut. Everyone thinks that everything is fine and they get back onto the case. But during the episode, Hailey starts to feel headaches or maybe pain. But knowing Hailey, she will most likely hide it and continue working. Then at the end of the episode, Voight will do something stupid and Jay will go after him. Hailey goes home since she had nothing else to do. She gets home and boom... she collapses. And the screen fades black.

Anna is going to hit her breaking point. Voight once told Olinsky back in Season 5 how everyone has a breaking point. Voight’s was Lindsay. Adam’s is Kim and Makayla. We saw Jay risk his life and career for Hailey earlier this season. Everyone has a breaking point. My guess is Anna’s is her son. She hates Escano and Los Temidos and would do anything to get rid of both. But she had one condition, nobody find out who she is, especially Escano. And now that Escano knows who she is and who her son is, its even more dangerous. The pressure will be higher than ever in these last two episodes. She is going to break. My guess is that Escano gets into her head, maybe mentions her son and how sad it would be for him to loose his mother. Towards the end of the episode, Anna will break and most likely flee, compromising the case.

Voight is gonna cross some lines, because no matter what he promises to Jay about no more secrets, Voight is Voight and he always gets what he wants. I can see some Voight and Jay tension in the finale.

I know there have been a lot of Upstead pregnancy hints in the past few episodes so there is a 50/50 chance of seeing something related to that in the finale. I could see it being a pregnancy scare, or Hailey actually pregnant. I am still unsure how I feel about an Upstead pregnancy especially since we haven’t seen anything Upstead since they got married. Logically, this is the next step in the relationship, but I think Hailey and Jay’s marriage should be explored more before adding a kid into the mix. Either way, I will be happy with whatever the writers do, as long as they are happy and together. And seriously, Jay being a dad would be so cute!! 😍😍😍

After the explosion, Hailey goes to the hospital to get the cut stitched up. At the hospital, her doctor tells her that she is pregnant, very similar to how Kim found out. I’m guessing Jay and Hailey haven’t had the kids talk yet, so Hailey will be a little freaked out. She may be distracted, and Kim will sense it. Later in the car, Kim will ask what’s going on and Hailey will tell her, and the two will hopefully talk about it. Kim will be excited and Hailey will be scared. Kim will tell her that Jay will be happy to hear the news and that they will figure it out. At the end of the episode, similar to how the proposal happened in the season 8 finale, Hailey will come home to Jay and tell him that she is pregnant...and we’ll find out his reaction in the Season 10 premiere.

These are all just theories that can be so wrong. There is a lot that can happen in tonight’s episode. All we know is that it will be one hell of a ride.

[poppykru]

This is a collection of my favourite canonverse fanfiction. I actually started reading bellarke fanfiction last year when season 6 premiered so a lot of the fanfics you see are old and popular within fandom. Nevertheless, I love them and they deserve the recognition for how awesome they are. 😊 I went through my bookmarks twice and I am sure I still missed some, but this is getting really big and has now taken me so long to compile so this is the list. I’ll update it once the show is over. For now though, enjoy! 

To all the writers, thank you for your beautiful works! I appreciate you so much! 💖

Most are one shots because that is just my preference for format. Some fanfics are within the universe, but not part of canon (e.g. Ark AUs) so I have put at at the bottom under Canonverse AUs. I tried to list them in order of time in canon but some were difficult to classify. 

One more thing, this is a Bellarke fic rec. If it was a general the 100 fic rec, this would include some great non-ship fics I’ve read or other ships. I might do a mini fic rec with those. (Also, I’ll probably post a big AUs fic rec, because my true love is AUs and i have read some masterpieces everyone needs to read!)

With that I am done. I hope you enjoy my collection and please don’t forget to show all these amazing fanfic writers some love - give kudos, bookmark, comment! Let’s support our content creators! 💖

Single Chapter

Inconceivable by @johnnyjaqobis​

Explicit | 8,798 words

Bellamy and Clarke have to perform a ritual to seal a grounder aliance. It’s unconventional.

Just the Beating of Our Hearts by @hiddenpolkadots​

General Audiences | Fluff | 4,683 words

He leans into it, tilting his body towards her where she still stands between his legs, and they’re so, so close, breathing in each other’s air before his eyes flick up to meet her gaze and then— Abby opens the door and steps out of the supply closet. “Clarke.”

or, 3 times Bellamy gets hurt and one time he isn’t.

Strong as an ox by @wellsjahasghost​

Season 1 | Teen and Up | 5,399 words

Clarke tries to rescue Bellamy from some Grounders holding him captive, but things don’t go quite as planned

Here we go Season 1 The line between love and lust does not exist.

Meet me in the Morning by @argyledpenguin​

1x03 | Explicit |Time Loop AU | 25,375 words

“I guess one of us is messed up,” he said, “and it’s part of our hallucination that the other is, too.” He paused. “Seems appropriately hellish that my mind sticks me with you.” She pursed her lips. “Likewise.” Clarke is trapped in a stupid time loop, and guess who’s trapped with her?

Sing the rage of Peleus’ son Achilles by @viansian​

Season 1 | Mature | Angst | 10,858 words

“I have spent my entire life afraid of men thought to be gods,” he finally says. “I’ll tell you a secret, princess: these men? The ones who claim to be deities? Their blood isn’t ichor. They bleed red like the rest of us, and sometimes they need to be reminded of that.” or Clarke is abducted by the grounders. Bellamy freaks out.

and just as the sun chases after the moon (i will always chase after you) by @viansian​

Post season 1 | Teen and Up | 12,013 words

He had once gone into hell for Octavia. He wonders at what point he had begun to love Clarke as much as his sister.

In the Silence Between Worlds (that’s where I’ll find you) by @viansian​

Season 2 | General Audiences | Fluff | 12,647 words

It’s a goddamn tragedy that both of them could be so incredibly in love with each other and yet neither could notice it.

aka everyone knows Bellamy and Clarke are in love except for Bellamy and Clarke.

I loved him first by emmaofmisthaven

Season 2 | Teen and Up | Unrequited Love | 1,306 words

Clarke is missing and Bellamy is going after her. From Octavia’s POV.

Eight Minutes Against a Tree by @cupcakesandtv​

Season 2 | Explicit | 2,320 words

Clarke and Bellamy use each other to relieve tension.

The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Sky Person by @ponyregrets​ 

Season 2 | General Audiences | Fluff | 2,320 words 

Clarke and Bellamy don’t know how to relationship.

Here be Dragons by ms_scarlet

Post 2x08-2x09 | General Audiences | Hurt/Comfort | 1,121 words

“Well, here we are.” She gestures towards the space beyond the electrified wire in front of them. “We fell from space only to find a pit full of monsters except they didn’t warn us that we’d find them in ourselves.”

All You Have is Your Fire by @hawthornewhisperer​

Post 2x09 | Teen and Up | Angst | 2,402 words

Bellamy didn’t think he could survive Mount Weather. But he did, and somehow the aftermath is almost worse.

Do you look like me? Do you feel like me? by heroic

Post 2x16 | Teen and Up | 511 words

There are some selfish wants Clarke will not allow herself, even when everything is dirt with decomposing bodies.

Gifts by winterwaters

Post season 2 | Teen and Up | Fluff | 4,154 words

Bellarke are at a grounder festival. Clarke is pretty and Bellamy is flustered. Fluff.

What We Have to Do  by ms_scarlet

Post season 2 | Teen and Up | Hurt/Comfort | 4,910 words

As the air turned cooler, the forest burst into color and the leaves started to fall, and all Bellamy saw was death and decay. He realized that Clarke had been gone longer than he’d known her. He’d lived most of his life without knowing her, so it didn’t seem like it should be such a striking realization, but crashing to Earth was such a cataclysmic event, he realized he’d been thinking of it as a new life beginning and now she’d been out of it longer than she was there.

This One’s for the Faithless by @argyledpenguin​

Post season 2 | Explicit | Angst | 22,645 words

“He couldn’t worry about her, about how she’d fare, and whether she’d find her way home eventually, or make a home with strangers, learning to forget the friends she’d killed for. He needed to worry about those friends, to look after their people like she’d asked him to. “She doesn’t need us to go after her,” Raven said. “She knows how to survive.” They’d trust her to return when she was ready, and to look after herself in the meantime.”

who cares if we're trashed by @probably-voldemort​

Season 3 | Teen and Up | Fluff | 2,180 words

"Propose to Bellamy." Murphy said it like it was easy, like she wasn't drunk off her ass, like she wasn't hopelessly in love with him. "Unless you're chicken."

The End Where We Begin by katebishoop

Pre 3x06 | Teen and Up | Kid fic | 10,553

Clarke and Bellamy are tired of war and bloodshed. So they run.

Hungry Hearts by @insideimfeelinpurrdy​

Post 3x16 | Explicit | Hurt/Comfort | 5,663 words

We all swallow lies when our hearts are hungry.

Field Medicine by storyskein

Post season 3 | Teen and Up | Fluff | 3,558 words

Clarke decides that Bellamy needs to learn first-aid because his bandage wrapping technique is pitiful.

I’ve Got You Here by ms_scarlet

Post Season 3 | Explicit | Hurt/Comfort | 18,383 words

“Here.” He thrusts one of the cups at her and she sets the rake aside to accept it. “You owe me a drink.”

Five Years Later by storyskein

Post Season 3 | Explicit | Fluff | 6,845 words

Five years later, and everything is finally right

To the Order of Night by storyskein

Post season 3 | Teen and Up | Fluff | 2,620 words

Bellamy and Clarke hang out after a long day of preparing for Arkadia’s exodus. Drinking, poker, and cuddling ensue.

Soap by @verbam​

Post Season 3 | Teen and Up | 3,571 words

Perhaps because of the late hour, or the heat limiting most duties to half day shifts, the hammam is surprisingly empty when they reach it, their voices going hushed in the echoing room. Clarke realizes as she glances at Bellamy that they’ve never been entirely alone here together. They’ve rinsed off here together before, but that’s easier when they’re surrounded by their friends: Bellamy distracted by Brian snapping a towel at him and Jasper splashing everyone in cold water. Clarke tends to sit with Raven, stretching their legs out on the warmed metal after they’ve scrubbed down and enjoying the steam and hubbub of Arkadians around them.

Right Within Your Heart (This is How It Starts) by @prosciuttoe​

Post Season 3 | Teen and Up | Fluff | 6,270 words

Bellamy has never had a enjoyable Christmas. Clarke seeks to rectify that.

Cold Bones by @insideimfeelinpurrdy​

Season 4 | Explicit | Major Character Death | tw: depression | 4,152 words

The world dies screaming, protesting violently at every turn, fighting for survival. He dies silently, whispering reassurances into the radio, walking fast and with purpose but without hope. The apocalypse can’t be stopped, and there aren’t enough lifeboats. Bellamy decides to take himself out of the equation.

if it was safer underground, we wouldn’t be on a boat  by heroic

Season 4 | Teen and Up | 1,005 words

Did you feel it, too? Clarke wants to go back and ask, lean herself against the bark and look at Bellamy in the night. Do you miss this too, when everything hurt and we still thought we could be better than we are?

And If My Heart Should Stop by @octannibal-blake​

4x06 | Teen and Up | Fluff | 1,905 words

The one where bellamy decides it’s time to tell Clarke how he feels.

Whenever the End by @sometimesrosy​

4x11 | Mature | 2,173 words

It’s the night before the conclave and the end of the world is nigh. Clarke and Bellamy needs to sleep and Clarke convinces him to share her bed. But waking up in his arms crosses the distance they’ve kept between them.

How I learned to stop worrying and love the apocalypse by @kindclaws​

4x12-13 | Explicit | Time Loop AU, Exes to Lovers | 16,407 words

Bellamy and Clarke keep reliving the last few hours before Pramfaya.

Just enough, but not enough by @rycewritestrash​

Post Seaosn 4 | Teen and Up | Fluff | 1,173 words

They’re leaning against the rover, sharing an apple, back and forth, discussing their plans for the day when Bellamy says, “We should get married,” in the same tone he’d use if they were talking about what’s for dinner.

The Silence by @sometimesrosy​

Season 5 | Teen and Up | Reunion fic | 5,872 words

Clarke and Madi stumble upon spacekru, finally returned. Everyone greets her, except Bellamy.

Think of Me as Time of Day by @octannibal-blake​

Season 5 | Teen and Up | Reunion fic | 5,872 words

Three times Bellamy misses Clarke and one time he doesn’t have to.

You’re Just Another Recovering Heart by @prosciuttoe​

Season 5 | Mature | Pining | 10,814 words

Bellamy gets into the habit of writing letters to the girl he left behind in the six years they’re apart. But as it turns out, Clarke’s alive, and she’s read them. Or: the fallout of a love confession six years in the making.

Forty Yards by @the-most-beautiful-broom​

Season 5 | Teen and Up | Angst | 3,825 words

Bellamy and Clarke are caught in the crossfire of an Eligius/Wonkru battle, and in the fury of it all, Bellamy refuses to leave Clarke behind.

I’m so fucking happy you’re alive/swear to god I’m down if you’re down  by heroic  

5x13 | General Audiences | 679 words

He wants to go back there, to press his hands against the bare skin of her back, to breathe her in.

I Feel Like We're as Close as Strangers by @eyessharpweaponshot​

Season 5 | Explicit | Angst | 7,277 words

“This isn’t about Madi," Bellamy tells her, voice even and certain. "It isn’t about me leaving you on Earth." Clarke’s expression is steel but he can read the discomfort off her a mile away. She’s holding her arms too tightly, her teeth clenched like she’s said too much. "This is about Echo." Even though he knows it is, his heart is still belting in his chest while he waits for a response. The knowledge is overwhelming - because if this is about Echo, it means Clarke might…she might… "Why would this be about Echo?" Clarke says blankly, like she’s bored - like he’s way off the mark. He’s not. "You tell me."

Astra inclinant  by @hermesmultivitamins​

Post season 5 | Not Rater | Sharing A Bed | 1,814 words

The inevitability of Clarke and Bellamy is obvious to everyone except themselves. Or, the story of how it took 130 years and two planets for Clarke and Bellamy to realize what everyone else already knew.

Do You Feel the Way We’re Falling out of Touch? by @eyessharpweaponshot​

Season 6 | Explicit | Time Loop AU, Angst | 13,279 words

Clarke and Bellamy are over and he has moved on, it’s just something Clarke has to accept. They have a job to do and that’s what is important now. They spend the entire day at odds with one another, being distant and lying about their true feelings. When they’re stuck in a time loop because of their inability to be honest though, it’s time to start admitting some things - and it turns out to be a little harder than expected.

Bad Moon Rising by @bettsfic​

6x02 | Teen and Up | Angst, Hurt/Comfort | 1,700 words

Afterglow by @queenginnys​ 

Post 6x10 | Teen and Up | Love Confessions | 1,085 words

Bellamy and Clarke have a lot to discuss after Clarke survives Josephine.

Sick of Losing Soulmates by @pawprinterfanfic​

Post 6x10 | Teen and Up | Hurt/Comfort | 4,884 words

Clarke and Bellamy talk after the events at Gabriel's. After almost losing her again, Bellamy intends to not let emotions go unspoken.

Our Own Stars by bellofthetolppl

Season 6 | General Audiences | Angst | 3,477 words

Bellamy gets hurt when he tries to find Octavia after she disappeared in the Anomaly and once Clarke finds out, she goes crazy. Kind of like 6x10 but the roles are reversed and she's worried sick about him. 

feet on the ground, head in the sky by fathomless

Season 6 | General Audiences | Hurt/Comfort | 2,547 words

three times Bellamy kissed Clarke's forehead and one time she kissed his.

Like Being Submerged in Your Contradictions by WelpThisIsHappening

Season 6 | Explicit | Fluff | 4,491 words

She supposes she's not surprised.

Clarke probably should have expected it. After all, her romantic track record is not really all that impressive. But. She hoped. And to say that she's a little disappointed to find out sex with Bellamy is not as great as she wanted it to be is an understatement.

So now he wants to talk about it. Figures.

The House Don't Fall When the Bones Are Good by @ponyregrets​

Post Canon | Teen and Up | Afterlife | Crossover with The Good Place | 6,019 words

Clarke wakes up and has a conversation with a man wearing a bowtie.

We Burned Bright by @marauders-groupie​

Mature

Collection of canon-compliant drabbles

Multichapter

Small Favours by @kay-emm-gee​

8 chapters | Season 1 | Teen and Up | Fluff | 24,203 words

Small favors born out of sheer necessity (part I, part II) forge a unique intimacy (part III, part IV, part V, part VI) that brings forth intense chemistry (part VII, part VIII).

 Or, how Bellamy & Clarke take their time falling in love.

Survivor’s guilt by @wellsjahasghost​

4 chapters | Post season 3 | Explicit | Angst, Kid fic | 102,671 words

“There’s no one else to live for anymore.” Clarke utters those words without too much emotion. They’ve had time over the years to reflect on all the people ripped away from their lives. It’s no longer a fierce, stabbing pain, just a kind of endless ache that surges and subsides with every breath they take. After all their efforts, they failed. The story of the SkaiKru would die with them. “We’re the last of our people.”

Bellamy finally looks up at her tone of voice and after a pause he says, slowly, “We don’t have to be.”

Hold me Still by bellofthetolppl

9 chapters | Season 4 | General Audiences | Angst | 45,863 words

“I can’t see, what’s happening to me?” or Bellamy is blinded in an accident.

The Twelfth Level by @jemleofan​

13 chapters | Canon-compliant until 4x03 | Explicit | 62,085 words

The death wave is rapidly approaching. Clarke and Bellamy make a startling discovery: Cadogan’s cult has survived underground and is willing to shelter Skaikru from the impending disaster. But at what price?

This one’s for you by @andthelightbulbclicks​

48 Chapters | Post season 4 | Slow Burn | 60,535 words

Ficlets glimpsing at those 2,199 days, and after…

The Price of Peace by @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky​

18 chapters | Season 6 | Teen and Up | Angst, Hurt/Comfort | 11,0987 words

Upon landing in the new world, it seemed like humanity finally had a chance at peace. When suddenly something is taken from them, Bellamy and crew must find a way to navigate this new world when it feels like it’s falling apart.

Bury A Friend, Try To Wake Up  by @talistheintrovert​

7 chapter | Teen and Up | Angst | 75,289 word

A few weeks after settling in to the new planet, Clarke seems to be acting strangely. Almost like she's two different people. Bellamy is determined to get to the bottom of it.

Canonverse AUs 

Single Chapter 

Winners Don’t Always Get Lucky Breaks by @cupcakesandtv​

Explicit | Ark AU, Arranged Marriage, Domestic Bellarke | 23,501 words

Bellamy and Clarke are roped into Abby’s political games and have to get married. 

Just as You Are Mine by @prosciuttoe​

Explicit | Arranged Marriage AU, Grounder!Bellamy | 23,637 words

In hindsight, marrying a total stranger may not have been one of Clarke’s brightest ideas. (Clarke seals an alliance with the Broadleaf clan by marrying Bellamy Blake.)

Darkest of marks by @important-metaphors​

Explicit | Ark AU, Angst | 21,162 words

After Jake Griffin’s prediction about the system failure turns out to be wrong, Clarke is given a second chance on the Ark. Janitor Bellamy Blake may or may not complicate everything for her.

Shadows Run From Yesterday by @important-metaphors​

Explicit | Ark AU | 14,053 words

Thirteen nations have operational space stations at the time of the bombs and Clarke Griffin is among the survivors. When she loses those dearest to her, she finds an ally in the person she least expects.

In My House on the Hill (there is room for you still) by @argyledpenguin​

Explicit | Ark AU, Angst | 24,066 words

“There were nights when the clinic was busy, forcing Clarke to scarf down a snack in between patients. But those nights were rare. Usually, there was time to take a break for lunch, to sketch for an hour, to talk to Bellamy, or to try to. It turned out that Bellamy wasn’t a talker. Or a friendly, pleasant person in general. But she got used to it. To him.” Clarke meets Bellamy on the ark.

Multichapter 

How You Stay Alive by @wellsjahasghost​

3 chapters | Explicit | Reincarnation AU | 88,303 words

You and him will live again by my hand. But whether you fall in love again is entirely up to you.” Nine lifetimes where Clarke and Bellamy meet again, and again, and again.

In his heart of hearts by @bilexualclarke​

2 chapters | Explicit | Ark AU, Enemies to Friends to Lovers | 12,808 words

She looks at him expectantly when he walks in, daring him to say something. His interactions with Clarke since their first day have consisted of “hello” “goodbye” and the occasional glare when he scoffs at something corny she says to a patient. But right now, he can’t help but take the bait. “Mommy pull some strings for you, Princess?” Clarke deflates a bit, and for a second it dawns on him that maybe she was waiting for him to congratulate her? But then, “Go fuck yourself.”

Bound by the secrets we share by troubledpancakes

4 chapters | Explicit | Ark AU | 48,523 words

Ninety-seven years ago, a nuclear apocalypse rendered planet Earth unlivable, leaving only the four-hundred people on the twelve space stations as its survivors. Over three generations, these twelve nations joined together to form the unified Ark Station. To preserve the human race, the leaders of the Ark implemented strict measures including: capital punishment for anyone over the age of eighteen, a ration system based on job placement, and the arrangement of marriages based on genetic compatibility. If the human race was to return to Earth, it had to be strong to survive. Clarke Griffin turned eighteen and celebrated her birthday with a marriage ceremony.

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Will Vought, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Actor, comedian, and writer Will Vought stars in the most recent season of the critically acclaimed dramedy series, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Additional television credits include The Good Wife, The Good Fight, both Lipstick Jungle and Love Bites, Bones, and Wilfred. Will is also an accomplished comedian, having toured the country opening for Wayne Brady. He got his start in the entertainment industry by contributing to Scott Shannon’s #1 morning show on 95.5 WPLJ, offering David Letterman updates and recaps, which opened the door for him to work for Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Following his work with Conan, Will was offered a position in the West Wing of the White House, working for former President Bill Clinton, where he still continued his radio work on the weekends as the youngest morning show host in the country at just 22 years old. Will went on to serve as head writer for Wayne Brady during his time hosting the The Late Late Show prior to James Corden in 2014 on CBS, and he continues to collaborate with renowned actor and comedian Paul Reiser, including shopping a television pilot they wrote together with Julie Bergman. We got the chance to ask him some questions. Check it out:

Do you have a favorite character arc from season 3 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?

For Season 3, I’m finding myself really interested in Susie and her journey. I don’t want to spoil it for those getting ready to start the new season or binge the series; however, in the first two seasons, Susie’s been hustling and primarily being of service to Midge while her personal life hangs on by a thread. In season 3, there are so many more layers introduced and opportunities that will ripple into not only her clout as a comedy manager but also her personal life. Also, I’m really invested in Lenny Bruce. Having read so much about him to see his plight on screen told through Amy’s lens is incredible. I don’t know anyone in comedy that doesn’t appreciate what Lenny Bruce did for comedians. The end of the Season 3 premiere is absolutely priceless seen thought the eyes of Tony Shalhoub’s Emmy Award-winning performance as Abe Weissman - Midge’s father.

If everything that you did was narrated, whose voice would you want narrating your life?

HA! That is a great question, and I’ve had to think about it. At first, I thought of the late great voice-over artist Don LaFontaine who moviegoers would remember as the “In A World…” guy who made millions voicing almost every movie trailer ever! BUT…truth be told I think that I would love Seinfeld's voice and lens, and I think it would make my day to day activities far more entertaining to listen to, especially when on the phone with my therapist.  

Can you tell us about a time you bombed (on stage or in an audition)?

Well…the thing that pops to mind was an audition for NBC’s series called Lipstick Jungle. At the time, I was living on Long Island and decided to make the mistake of driving into Manhattan for the audition. Traffic was abhorrent, and you would think that there were mass casualties on the Long Island Expressway resulting in me being almost an hour and forty-five minutes late for the audition. The director of that episode was the one and only Timothy Busfield, whom I loved on Arron Sorkin’s The West Wing. Tim played reporter Danny Concannon - Senior White House Correspondent.

I had no idea that Timothy was going to be at the audition and was mortified when I showed up and saw him in the room because I was so late. It’s not unheard of to not be seen at all if you are late, let alone hours late. I read for the part and left. Tim was gracious. A month later, I got a call saying that I didn’t book that role; however, they were writing me another role and wanted to hire me for it. While on set shooting, Tim told me that when they asked him if he had any ideas for the part and he said, “That guy who came in 2 hours late. He was great. Hire him.” So I thought I bombed — but it worked out in the end.

The USO Tour scene from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel broke the record for the most number of background actors used in a scene for tv in the state of New York (850). What was it like being a part of such a huge production?

I’ve never worked on Star Wars, but that’s what I was thinking of when we were filming that. It was by far the largest set I’ve ever been on, and yes there were almost 1000 background actors there for almost an entire week, who made up the audience of the USO show that you see in the season 3 premiere. When I met with Amy and Dan for the final audition for the role of Major Buck Brilstein, it was at Steiner Studios in Brooklyn in a small room that’s not much larger than a small studio apartment in Manhattan. It was the three of us and Emmy award-winning casting director Cindy Tolan. We did all the material from the episode, and to juxtapose that to being in an actual hanger with 1000 extras essentially filming a USO show that’s scripted — it was a historic moment in television that wasn’t lost on me.  

What was the audition experience like for your role on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?  

I kind of talk about that above. I had a great experience. As with anything, you have to go in a number of times, and then the final callback is with Amy and Dan Sherman Palladino. You are 2 feet away from her, there is a camera, and Cindy Tolan, the casting director, and you create the world and do the scenes — WORD PERFECT! That is a huge thing, and something I was told going in. Be word perfect every time. Their words are like notes on a page. Each one carefully picked and placed, and my job is to take them off the page and bring them to life with a sensibility of 1959 and a guy that’s a major in the army who always wanted to be a comedian but never really got the chance. So, my character is literally living his dream in this episode. Beyond that, you bring your A-game, nail it, and it’s up to Amy and Dan. It happened to go my way, and as I told Amy, I was grateful to get the invitation to play in her world. She wrote and directed this episode, so it was extra special.

Is there a specific role or moment that you feel has defined your career up to this point?

We’ll — this is pretty significant re: working with the Palladino’s.  I thought that The Good Wife was a big deal at the time — as I was part of Bob and Michelle King’s storyline that revealed Josh Charles’ character was murdered.  

It seems that I’m only allowed to act opposite actresses that have won 2 Emmy’s and 2 Golden Globes for Best Actress. LOL.  It’s truly a hard question to answer as each project is different, and as an actor, you hope that one job will open a door or opportunity to another.  That’s what I’ve found, at least over the past few years, so it’s certainly a slow burn.

Years ago, I was the low man on the totem pole at NBC’s Late Night with Conan O’Brien. I was an intern in the writing department under John Groff and often got the chance to appear in sketches on the show. This was an invaluable experience. There was an afternoon where I asked Conan (as I was cleaning his office) if he knew this was what he was going to do from the beginning. I’ll never forget what he said. He told me that, “In his wildest dreams he never thought he would be hosting a late night show.” He described show business as being on a highway. He was a writer in college, wanted to be a writer and set off on the highway with the goal of writing in mind. Along the trip, there were exits: Mad Magazine, The Simpsons, SNL. After each exit, he gets back on the journey. If you want to be a teacher or doctor or lawyer, you know exactly what to do. Go to X school for X years, and then they declare you as such. Boom. You’re it. Hollywood is not like that. Everyone’s path is so different, and how we get to where we are is almost inconsequential when compared to the culmination of the journey. I’ve been blessed to do a lot of different things so far and work with incredible talent that truly moves the needle in this business, and I hope for more opportunities.

What’s your favorite bit or joke from one of your stand-up sets?

I have a new bit I’m working on that’s fueled by my natural anger toward this situation.

I hate paper straws.

If this makes me a horrible person, so be it. If “they” think I don’t care about the EARTH or ENVIRONMENT and support the extinction of humanity because of this — so be it.

Paper straws? Really? Who did this make sense to? Who thought it was a good idea to combine PAPER and WATER?

I’m sure it seemed like a good idea at the time — but it doesn’t work. Three sips into my iced coffee and the thing has disintegrated, and I’m now drinking iced coffee and paper!

If you think paper straws are a good idea, let me ask you one question. Would you like to use a paper condom?

In the future, you’ll be standing in the rain telling your friend you can’t understand why she’s pregnant and soaking wet from holding the paper umbrella.

I will say that if we do switch to paper condoms …. I don’t know about the environment, but we will absolutely ensure the survival of humanity.

Lighting round! Describe each of the following in one word: Who you are, what you value the most, and what you’d be if you were a food item.  

I AM WILL VOUGHT.

I VALUE MOST: MY SON.

IF I WAS A FOOD ITEM, I’D BE A BEYOND BURGER!

What are you working on right now?

Right now, I’m working on sending out subliminal messages via Transcendental Meditation to Adam McKay for a coffee meeting that would result in being cast on the 3rd season of Succession on HBO.  I’d text him, but I don’t have his cell. Do you?

Thanks for taking the time, Will! Catch Season 3 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Prime Video. 

Photography: Emily Assiran | Grooming Laila Hayani | Styling: Natalia Zemliakova

[faioula16]

Gotham Riddler x reader x Penguin (plot)

(First interview before the premiere)

This story takes place 2 years after the end of Gotham’ 5th season. 

Riddler has one and only personality since Ed had disappered. 

Old vilains might return back to life. 

Warnigs: None

That’s all from me so far. Read and enjoy!

Reporter: “Alright guys, just a week before the premiere of the new Gotham show that'll be finally on stage for all of you to whatch and enjoy. Robin is here with us, how are you doing so far?”

Robin Lord Taylor: “I am doing pretty fine, thank you. And really happy to play as Penguin once again” His smile showed the excitement behind his words.

Reporter: “And Cory’s here too but not alone this time, right?”

Cory Michael Smith only grinned happily while his arm was wrapped around his partner’s shoulder.

Reporter chuckled to herself before she glanced over Y\N, still smiling. “I see your boyfriend is really excited about the show, I can’t even take a word out from him. So...how about you tell us some things for the show and how an actror\actress like you feel while playing beside Robin and....your boyfriend once again? I mean, we saw you only for some really short of times in Gotham's season 2....But now you’re back and I have a feeling you’re gonna stay~” She joked, making all three of the actors to laugh a bit as well.

Y\N: “Well...I do feel a bit awkward because it’s my very first time to have the role as one of the protagonists, but I’m also comfortable too cause Michael will be with me on this, in every step of the way” They giggled playfully while feeling Cory’s hand caressed their shoulder softly. “Um...the funny fact is, I feel extremely excited as about the place I am gonna take in the series but also terrifying” They chuckled while rubbing the back of their neck nervously.

Reporter: “Terrified? Why is that? Will the relationship between (Name) and Oswald or Edward be toxic in any way?”

Y\N: “No, no. If....if the relationships would be toxic, I wouldn’t take part in the show. (Name) is gonna discover slowly what happened in Oswald’s and Edward’s lives really slowly as the episodes follow one another. I love the fact the character I am playing is actually....multifaceted. We’re gonna see how this works through the series a lot, you can’t say if (Name)’s with the good or bad side. In my option, They will be something in between these two and it will clearly depend on what situation they will find themselves and how will they be able to handle things properly or be confuse and struggle as about the decisions they have to take. And also there is the fact we know (Name) will be the main love interest of Ed and Oz”

Reporter: “So tell us your thoughts about how your character is gonna be after the Gotham show, Oz?”

Robin Lord Taylor couldn’t help but let out a small laugh to the nickname Y\N actually thought for his role. It’s been a really long time since he heard of it and knew he will better get used to it cause it’s gonna be something his role will adopt while the episodes will be coming out. “Oswald had the chance to meet with (Name) only for once and he felt this kind of sudden interest towards them. Sadly, he didn't have the chance to explore those feelings any further. Well, fortunately, in my option at least”

Reporter: “I think the fans know what you mean. The audience will meet you and the Riddler after the end of Gotham's 5th season. You both had to build your empires and are ready to make Gotham know who you really are, but once (Name) will be back...."

Y\N: “People say when the human make plans for the future, the god laughs"

Reporter: "That's right! However, we all are curious why (Name) left their job as a former officer in the CGPD. I mean...they weren't highly recognized like Jim or Harvey but they were well respected and were kinda close friends with Ed too"

Y\N: "Yeah, the thing is...it wasn't what they actually wanted from their lives. So once the only person who has been left from their family passed away, which was their grandma, they had nothing to hold them back to follow their dream. With Ed (Name) was the one who was being nice to him and even gave him some advice as about how to approach Ms. Kringle. But that was it, at least about their part, you know. But we know that will change eventually... "

Reporter: "Indeed, now... Cory, I believe it is time to ask you a question. We know all relationships Edward had so far died one way or another. So how do you think he is gonna handle the 4th chance that will comes to him?"

Cory Michael Smith: "The first relationship Edward had with Ms. Kreingle was only love from his good side and only. So once she was about to betray him and tell the police what he did with her previous boyfriend....the bad side took in charge. Isabella was the same thing only that I believe Penguin was faster to do the job for Ed's dark side. Oswald did it out of jealousy but...it doesn't change the fact Riddler would kill her soon or later, in my opinion. And finally, the only difference with Lee was that both Ed and Riddler loved her. However, Riddler knew she was just using him but Ed didn't want to believe so. In the fifth season, Ed and Riddler again merge. Unknown to him, thanks to Hugo Strange planting a control chip in his brain, it silenced his original Ed Nygma personality, effectively freeing him of the eternal struggle. Without the struggle, Riddler actually managed to mellow out a bit, gaining some of the calmer traits Ed had. And when he will meet again with the only person who was nice to him back from his former job....feelings will grow inside him. Feelings Riddler thought he couldn't feel anymore. And there will be an actual chance for him to find the 'happiness' he was searching for such a long time. IF the conjunctures are gonna work out for him and if he will play his cards right, to win their heart"

Reporter: "Robin, some thoughts of Penguin perhaps?" She glanced over the raven-haired guy with now curiosity filled in her eyes.

Robin Lord Taylor: "Everyone Oswald loved so far died and even worst he was in front of both of his parents' deaths. He had also confused the feelings he had for Edward to be true love. So I believe if Oswald will grow to explore that interest for (Name) and once he will discover his actually strong feelings for them...I don't think he is gonna let them go" 

Reporter: "What do you think Y\N?"

Y\N: "They’re gonna struggle....a lot"

That made the reporter turn her attention completely to the front camera's sight and smiled slyly. "Well, what do you say fans....are you excited about this new series?'