#i am having a mental breakdown over it

[transformers-spike]

*slides low effort fanart in

This is so fucking perfect omg. Just absolutely gorgeous. Oh the tenderness, the tragedy, you got everything! I will be staring at this for the rest of the month because holy shit I can't believe you drew fanart of Bleed me dry - and it's so good too!!!!

[cloud-hymn]

“Who said please that made you hate the word so much?”

“I did.”

Nora please what if that was my final straw

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Peeped the horrors

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[myneighbortmnt]

I made this for the 2021 style on the rise zine and then forgot to post it!!!! For two years!!! But we are here now! and I have a friend (shoutout to @minnow-doodle-doo ) encouraging me to post it (so thank her if you like the pic because I was ready to just let it sit in the computer file forever) 

I spent forever making this thing (I deleted the lineart for the background on accident and had to redo all of it) SO ENJOY!!!

Live laugh love --ya girl

[wildsaltair]

now that the seven busiest days of the year are FINALLY over, I can get back to my Maximus insanity. here have a close-up of the hands and arms that make guest appearances in every daydream I have ever had

[skitskatdacat63]

Beanie Nando for @sweatyflytrap <3

[hedonists]

The Grey The Grey The Grey The Grey THE GREY

[thebirdandhersong]

in my you're on your own kid era again (I never left)

[newtafterdark]

You ask "Hey Newt, how's your D&D campaign going?" and all I can say is that I love our party so damn much. Not to mention I also adore putting my personal fella Sköll through the emotional ringer (with the help of our DM, of course). >:]c

[iamhereinthebg]

I was today years old when I learned that Owl is a word about two fcking bird species in english

I want to explode because of course I looked at the signification in french of the wrong one for the clock keepers

CUTE LITTLE HIBOUX

The babiiies

[yumesei]

Got flashed by a double/dupe.... Again.... I'm so sad man :(

[kiwriteswords]

My Favorite BTS & Cast Photos of Criminal Minds: Part Three

[taonpest]

Listen. I had plans for them. I worked my ass off to deliver literally the best drawing I ever made in my life but I fucked up so you’re only getting a silly doodle now

[not-poignant]

Jesus H Christopher, Pia. Your writing load is insane.

Maybe you should cut back on how many chapters you release for certain stories? Like Stain and Palma (since these stories dont equal income) until UtB the other Underline stories are almost done. Just a thought

Because I feel burnt out just by thinking of writing that much, so I can only imagine how you feel. Please take care of yourself

Hi anon,

TL;DR: My brain is stupid, which is why I can't do this, even though it makes sense and is logical.

Unfortunately the fanfiction is what often makes the original fiction possible, or more enjoyable.

If I lock myself down into too much schedule and rigidity, or if I only focus on writing for money, I actually start to hate writing, even if I love the stories. There is nothing like 'will this earn money, do people like this, would people pay, what if they all decide to stop paying for this, why would they pay for this, would I pay for this, how much would people pay for this, is there any incentive for them to pay for this, actually if I wrote a ton of different tropes maybe I'd make more for this, but that's depressing, but I need the money, shit what do I do, what if I lose my income, what if it all stops tomorrow, I need to write more, I need to write more, I need to write more' that is actually very exhausting and makes writing not much fun at all.

And to deliberately break out of that headspace as much as possible, I write fanfiction. Because that headspace (the one I wrote about above), on its own, even if I'm only writing two stories, can and has led to burnout and depressive episodes. I don't recommend it.

In a way, one of the reasons I can write so many stories right now (ADHD meds aside) is that I am letting myself break out and just have fun with fanfiction, and remember that my original writing is meant to be fun too. But without fanfiction, I lose sight of that very quickly.

Fanfiction means that when an original story chapter does super badly, generally there are still excited comments elsewhere that keep me going. That's how I survived The Ice Plague, and that story would never have been completed without fanfiction, because that was my worst performer of any story I've ever written. It also means if a lot of subscribers leave at once, I don't feel like The Worst Writer In The World. So having fanfiction behind me was like...a literal safety net or my security blanket.

If I have to discard my security blankets or use them less often in order to keep writing the original stuff, I might as well just stop entirely, because my longest hiatuses from Patreon (i.e. one lasted 1.5 years, many have lasted 4-6 months) have been when I'm mostly just writing original fiction, and am not writing much fanfiction, or not deliberately finding time for it, and finally get so stressed out re: money I literally have to stop. I'm on a (partial) Disability Pension.

A long time ago some professional people told me I probably shouldn't be working at all because of my mental illnesses and then paid me money because of the severity of those mental illnesses. My dumbass brain be pretty fragile, actually, and keeps chugging away because I make bad business decisions and write stuff I enjoy instead of writing to market, or doing rapid release, or releasing more novels (or novels). Writing does ironically help when I'm stressed, but not when I'm stressed about making money because of writing.

I will cut at my income before I cut at my love of this job, and unfortunately fanfiction keeps me going in this job, which means I can't really cut at that first.

(Also from a business perspective, it's actually a very good funnel to the original stuff and then subscription. Most of you wouldn't be here if you hadn't read one of my fanfics first and then gave the original stuff a try - I try not to think about that too much because I need fanfic to not be about money, but the fact is, I would not have this career without fanfic).

I do have plans to take two weeks off in January from posting chapters (I can still post rewards in the second half of January) and that's not too far away.

And the reality is that I probably would have kept going okay if real life hadn't imploded on top of everything like the world's worst bukkake party.

[seoafin]

I feel like Shoko is just gonna smoke a cigarette but inside she's gonna be raging screaming crying etc....SHES ALONE!!??! SHES THE ONLY ONE LEFT!!!

FINAL GIRLLLLLLL

[scissorcraft]

man... i won't be able to finish my Big Pride Art this month :(((