#i am going to actually cry my fucking eyes out
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MY LITTLE SECRET
Ony x reader
P/S: You and Ony had never really solidified your relationship with one another. It was all "my man my man my man" when yall were alone but in public, nobody knew the dirty little secret you shared. Not even Ony's little girlfriend. So when he pulls up to the party with her on his arm, will you be able to keep that secret under wraps? If he doesn't tell, you won't tell..
A/N: Angst. I heard the song and went with it. I DONT CONDONE CHEATING! I don't usually write hard angst so this is an interesting one for sure so let me know what you think. MNDI, small smut section in the beginning.
“Fuck Ony. Right there.”
You whine out in ecstasy. His lips pressed against your neck, peppering kisses all over you as his hips piston into you, tip driving into your cervix. You had been going at it for at least two hours. The way he fucked you, you would think you were mortal enemies. Your manicured nails dip crevices into his back and he strokes you deep. “Ony f-fuck baby please.” You beg. You have no clue what you’re actually begging for but you cry out anyway. “Take that shit mamas, I know you can.” He encourages as he fucks you. Your body is on the brink of collapse but you hold on for dear life as you ride out another orgasm. Pussy clenching tight against his length, you convulse as clear liquid spills out of you splashing against you both.
Ony slows his hips but stays sheathed inside of you as you lock eyes. “Fuck.” you breath out. “You good?” he asks with a slick smile plastered across his face. You roll your eyes at him too weak to push him off. After a few breaths, he rises up from the bed and steps into the bathroom. Your eyes get heavy and you fight to keep them open as he reappears with a towel. He presses it between your legs and cleans you up as you fight the sleep calling you. You’re jolted awake once again at the sound of his phone ringing.
“Shit.” you hear him mumble. “Aye I got to head out.” he whispers at you. You roll over to find him already out of the bed, walking to pick up his clothes from the floor. You take the time to look at his frame, enjoying the view.
“So am I going to see you later?” You ask him. He plants a kiss on your forehead. “Don’t know yet. But I’ll hit you up if something changes.” You lay there and watch as he gathers his things and walks towards the door to leave. “See you.” Only calls out as he steps out. You cuddle back down into your covers and allow yourself to fall back asleep.
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“Bitch hurry the fuck up!” Your best friend yells from the living room. You roll your eyes and finish applying your gloss to your lips. After Ony had left, you ended up sleeping off the rest of your sex coma. You were woken up a few hours later to your best friend beating on your door going on and on about some house party she wanted you both to attend. Your body was screaming no but for some reason, you stood here 2 hours later with a beat face and a new outfit. You take the time to admire your body in the mirror and the way the sleek black outfit accentuated all your features. After another once over, you slipped into your shoes and headed out your bedroom door.
“Okay, bitch. How do I look?” you ask her as you step into your living room. She looks you up and down before a wide smile breaks across her face. “OKAY! Body tea! Hair long!” she hypes you up. You laugh to yourself and shake your head at her antics. “Girl, you so fucking over the top. Come on before I change my mind. You know I’m tired.” you say. “Ain’t nobody tell you to let that nigga ram you into the mattress. That's your own doing.” You laugh again as you follow her to her car.
Yall pull up to a house on the outskirts of town. Car littered the yard and bodies were scattered in between. “Damn, who house is this?” you say as yall walk up. “Girl, Eren. His parents are away for the month so he been had this shit jumping for the past week. It's been party on party.” We walked to the front door and the music had the doors rattling.
The bass of the music thumped so hard you could feel the vibrations in your chest, the frame of the walls seeming to shake with each thump. Laughter, chatter, the clinking of bottles--it was all a blur, a swirl of unrecognizable faces circled you as your friend lead you deeper into the house. Energy surrounded you both immediately as you danced your way through the crowd. You tried to put your best face on for your friend but deep down, your feelings were all over. Ony hadn’t messaged you back since he left your house earlier that day and it was unlike him.
You tried not to think about it. You weren’t necessarily exclusive but there was…something. It was strange, not being able to be in his presence all the time. You chalked it up to good dick that had your head confused and focused on being present in the moment. You weren’t exactly expecting to see him but he at least could’ve messaged you back. “Bitch this party is crazy!” your best friend’s voice interrupts your thought pattern. “Yeah, this is some wild shit. White boy knows how to throw a house party.” you respond to her. “Come on let’s go get a drink. Then you can help me come up with an excuse to run into him.” she grabs your arm and pulls you. “Mikaaa. Just talk to him. You been feigning over this boy for too damn long.” you fuss at her. She shrugs as she grabs two solo cups and fill you both to the brim.
You are lost in the moment, enjoying yourself when it happens. You world comes crashing down on you as you turn to the door and see none other than Ony. His signature black tee and jordans fit paired with the same Ony chain that was dangling over your head earlier that day.
Your heart skipped a beat. But there was something else in your chest too. Something dark, something tangled, like you were holding your breath while the air between you two thickened. He had always had this effect on you—the way his broad frame filled the room, the way his deep brown eyes searched the crowd like he was looking for something—or someone. His presence had always been magnetic, but tonight, it felt like the gravity between you two had shifted.
Because as you stood there, getting lost in his presence, you finally registered it. He wasn't alone. She was there, hanging onto his arm. A subtle yet possessive touch as she grinned up at him. You felt a knot in your stomach as the liquor threatened to resurface. Her. His girlfriend. Or at least who everyone saw as his girlfriend. The girl who didn't know
About you. The late night phone calls. The stolen moments when no one was looking. The texts that only said “you good?” but meant so much more. The one was unaware of the nights when you and Ony were tangled in sheets, whispering each other’s names as if it meant something more. Like you said, yall weren’t exclusive. Honestly, the whole thing had been a secret from the jump. But you knew the truth: you shared something between you that was deeper than just physical. Those nights with him… the tenderness mixed with heat, the way he would hold you after, his breath warm against your skin, his hands tracing every inch of your body as if he were trying to memorize you.
Yet here he was. Casually conversing with his homeboys with an arm tossed over her shoulder. Laughing and smiling like nothing had ever happened between the two of you. And that thought alone let a very nasty taste in your mouth and lit fire underneath your skin. “You good boo?” a voice pulled you from your thoughts. You turned to see Mikasa standing next to you, a raised eyebrow and a concerned look on her face. “Yeah, I’m straight,” you lied, though your heart was hammering in your chest. “Right,” she said with a smirk. “I can tell you’re real straight with all the space you’re putting between you and Ony. What's up with that?" You shrugged, taking another sip of your drink. "Ain't nothing to it." Mikasa raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh. Well, if you say so. But I know you bestie. I'll find out sooner or later.”
Your eyes flickered back to Ony and her as they made their way deeper into the house. Attempting to calm your nerves, you down the rest of your cup but just before you turned to go get a refill, his eyes found you. His posture stiffened the moment your gazes locked, and he froze for a split second. The smile dropped from his face as his eyes darted to her and then back to you. You didn’t look away. You couldn’t. But there was no way to stop the sting in your chest, the way seeing him so easily with her hurt, like it was a fresh wound that hadn’t healed. You both stayed locked in for what seemed like an eternity but in reality was barely a minute. “Yo,” he called, his voice a little louder than it should’ve been as he excused himself from her side. He pushed through the crowd, making his way over to you, but the nervous energy in his steps was unmistakable. You break contact first, turning to Mikasa. She was chattering with Eren, finally using the liquid courage. “Hey boo, going to get a drink and step out. Got my lo on.” you whisper to her. She gives you a squeeze of concern but you offer a smile. “All good baby.” you say before walking away.
Ony tried to get to you but by the time he wormed his way over you were gone. “Fuck,” he mumbled under his breath. “Aye Mika, you seen y/n?” he asks her. “Uh, she walked off to get a drink. I’m sure she will be back soon.” she smiles at him, completely unaware of the weight of the situation. He looks around for you, a hint of desperation in his gaze. But before he could walk off and search for you, she grabs him by the arm. “Ony baby. You okay? You left me over there?” she whines. Ony looks down at her, “Uh…yeah. I was just looking for a friend. But they’re gone.” he mumbled. His arm lazily loops around her as they walk into the den.
Later in the night, things were starting to get rowdy. The music had gotten louder, the dancing more erratic. You were standing by the wall, when someone approached you. “Hey beautiful, Care to dance with me?” a deep voice rang in your ears. You look up to see a tall man with blonde hair and honeyed golden eyes. “Names Reiner.” he smiles. You smile back, “Y/n and yes. I would love to dance with you.” you say. He leads you to an open space in the middle of the floor. Your fave twerk song comes on and you allow yourself to get lost in the music. Reiner was catching all you were throwing, thick hands wrapped around your waist. You could feel him pressing against your ass as you moved.
Unbeknownst to you, Ony also saw the way you were moving. Anger bubbled underneath his skin as he watched you. He was a fucking hypocrite. How the hell could he be mad at you for dancing with someone when his literal girlfriend was sitting on his lap, talking to his friends, “Ony?” she spoke, hand waving in front of his face. His eyes cut to her. “Did you hear me? I said I was going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” she had spoken to him. “Aight.” he snipped. She took her that as her queue and walked off, accompanied by another girl. “So, how long you been fucking y/n?” Eren’s question cuts through the music. Ony’s head snaps to him. “What?” he lets out. “I mean with the way you shooting daggers at Reiner, it's obvious to see.” Connie laughed through a cloud of smoke. Ony bit the inside of his jaw. “It's not like that.” he mumbled slinking down onto the couch. “You only fooling yourself but aight.”
You were in your own world. Body moving against Reiner as his hands caress your curves. You allowed yourself to get lost in the moment. “So, what do you think about getting out of here?” he leaned down into your ear. You smile but before you could answer, you were snatched up and pulled away from him. Ony dragged you around the corner and pressed you against the wall. “Ony, wha-...Have you lost your damn mind?!” you hiss. “Me?? You the one about to go home with a random ass nigga who was basically fucking you on the dance floor. You out YO mind?!” he snaps back, voice low. You let out a dry laugh. “That’s rich coming from a nigga here with his fucking girlfriend.” you spit out. His jaw clenched tightly as he stepped closer to you, invading your personal space. You hated the way your body reacted to his proximity.
He took a step closer, and your breath hitched. His presence was overwhelming, as it always was. His large frame was mere inches from yours now, the space between you too small, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. You both stood in silence for a moment. “You good?” he asked after a while, voice quiet, almost too soft for the loud music. “I'm straight Ony. What do you want?,” you said, though it was a lie. You were miserable but there was no way in hell you would let it show. “Y/N I-... I'm just checking on you. Aight?” he spoke, his eyes darkening. You caught the shift in his mood immediately. Something was off with him tonight. His usual easygoing demeanor was replaced by an intensity you hadn’t seen before. Before you could ask him what was wrong, his hand brushed against yours, and the touch sent a shockwave through your body.
“I didn't expect it to happen like this.” he says softly. “I bet you didn’t. Don't want your girlfriend knowing our little secret, huh?” You took a slow sip of your drink, keeping your face neutral, but the words felt like they were burning in your throat. “You’re with her now. In front of everyone.” The words came out too casual, too sharp, and you didn’t like how your voice cracked at the end of them. He looked back at you, clearly flustered, and his voice dropped another octave. “It’s not like that,” he muttered, like the words didn’t come naturally. “GF/N and I are just... doing our thing.”
You snorted quietly, the bitterness starting to seep in. “Your thing?” You repeated the words like they were foreign. “Funny, if this is your thing then what the fuck was last night and this morning? Just needed something to past the time? Was that another thing, Ony?” your words cut at him. The way you said his name sent a shiver through him, but it wasn’t the kind of reaction he was used to. It wasn’t desire. It was guilt. He opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He swallowed, his throat bobbing like he was trying to say something but couldn’t find the right words.
"You know," you continued, voice softer now but still biting, "last night, it was just us. Just you and me. I mean where the fuck was this even going for you?” you start. “I mean I could see just the fucking but the other shit. The texts, the phone calls, the gifts. Why the fuck would you even take it this far?!" you try to keep your composure but the anger mixed with the alcohol was making it difficult.
His eyes shifted nervously toward where his girlfriend had walked off then back to you, a conflicted look clouding his expression. He opened his mouth again, but you cut him off before he could speak. "You know what. I don’t want to hear it. The excuses," you said, shaking your head, frustration leaking into your tone. "I don’t want to hear you lie to my fucking face like you been doing. And I definitely and not in the mood for the ‘it wasn't meant to be like this’ bullshit. We both know that’s a damn lie too."
He took a deep breath, his jaw clenching, the weight of everything clearly sitting heavy on his shoulders. And just as you were about to walk away, he stepped forward quickly, grabbing your wrist gently, but firmly. " y/n just hold up. Please. Let me explain," he said, his voice tight. You could see the tension in his face, the way he was fighting against whatever emotions were threatening to bubble over. You stared down at his hand on your wrist, a thousand thoughts flashing in your mind. You had every reason to pull away, every reason to walk out of that house and never look back, but you didn’t. You couldn’t help yourself.
"Fine," you said through gritted teeth, “Start talking.”
Ony pulled you gently to the side, away from the main crowd, to a quieter corner of the house. The thumping bass was muffled here, the light dimmer, and for a moment, it was like the two of you were the only ones in the room. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, the anticipation of what was coming next. You should be stronger, should tell him go fuck himself but you didn't. Instead you let him pull you away, adrenaline mixed with anger flowing through your body.
You leaned against the wall and watch him pacing, running a hand down his face like he was struggling to figure out where to start. “I don’t know how this got so messed up,” he said, voice quieter now, raw with guilt. “But I didn’t truly mean for it to be like this, not this way anyway. You’re more than just... whatever this is. I know that. I just—I didn’t know how to... how to deal with it.”
You couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped from your lips. “Deal with it? You didn’t know how to deal with it?” You stepped closer, your voice dangerously low now. "You didn’t know how to deal with the fact that we’ve been in bed together? That we’ve shared moments—intimate moments—over the past few weeks? You think you can just walk away and act like none of it happened? What the hell do you think this is?”
He looked at you, like he was seeing you for the first time. You could see the realization in his eyes that this was no longer something simple for you. It wasn’t just a few secret hookups. It wasn't just a simple mistake. It was about the betrayal. The quiet, lingering hurt that had been building inside of you every time he pulled away after you gave him everything.
"I can’t do this anymore, Ony," you whispered, voice trembling slightly. “I’m worth more than your fucking bed and I damn sure ain’t no side piece to a bitch who can’t light a candle to me. I will not be the little secret you keep stuffed in your fucking pocket until you want to get your dick wet.” He stepped forward, his hands reaching for you, but you held up a hand, stopping him. “Don’t,” you said, voice shaking now. “You made your choice. And now you have to live with it.”
For a long moment, he just stood there, looking at you like he didn’t know what to say, like he was hoping you’d just forgive him without question. But you couldn’t. Not anymore. "I’m done, Ony," you said quietly. He wanted to speak but before he could utter a word, her voice cut through. “Ony, baby where are you?” she called out. He steps back just as she turns the corner. “Oh! There you are. I’ve been looking for you. Oh, HI!” she says in a high pitched voice. She slung her body onto him kissing his face before turning to you. “I'm gf/n, Ony’s girlfriend. Who are you?” she asks with a smile. You look at him then back at her, “A former friend. It's nice to meet you.” you respond to her. Ony’s heart lurches forward at your words. Former friend, He tries to silently get your attention but you refuse to meet his gaze. “Excuse me. It was nice meeting you. Have a good day. A good life for you Ony.” you say with finality.
And before he could respond, you turned on your heel and walked away, leaving him standing there with his words still tangled in his throat, the weight of everything between you hanging in the air.
#aot x reader#aot x y/n#onyankopon x black y/n#fem!reader#ony x black reader#aot onyankopon#onyankapon#onyankopon x reader#ony x reader#onyankopon fluff#ony x y/n#ony#ony angst#aot angst#angst#nieceenotes
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"Come back home."
𝙒𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙒𝙞𝙡𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙭 𝙇𝙤𝙜𝙖𝙣 (𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙩!𝙬𝙤𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙚)
𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 2k
𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮/𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙩: a part two continuation from this from @psychohoneywhiskey because it rented a whole fucking condo in my head.
𝙏𝙖𝙜𝙨: Hurt/comfort, angst, fighting, fluff, kissing, happy ending, Wade needs a hug, Logan needs a hug.
Wade only got home when the sun was already rising. His suit was all torn up, and some wounds still healed from the fight he just had with some stubborn criminals.
He expected to see Logan sleeping on the couch, but he didn't.
Well, maybe he decided to sleep in his bed?
He walks to his bedroom with expectation but also finds it empty.
Actually, not entirely empty.
In his bed layed all the clothes Wade bought Logan folded. All the little thoughtful gifts he gave him. Everything that Wade got him to say through actions that he's wanted.
Looks like the message didn't land.
His heart tightens, tears welling in his eyes as he realizes that Logan left him.
Left after being willing to sacrifice himself for Wade. Left after making this crack house he lived in into a home. Left after letting Wade convince him to stay sober after decades. Left after stealing his way into Wade's heart, his life, his family.
And just like that, 𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴. Without nothing with him but his suit.
Honestly, Wade doesn't think he should be surprised for this. He knew it was going to happen. He knew Logan was just waiting for an opportunity to get rid of him. Who would ever put up with him? God, if he could escape from himself sometimes, he would. He tried many times, too.
So could he even blame him, really?
In that moment, all the words Logan spat at him in that Honda Odyssey at the middle of a god forsaken void came back into his mind. They have been constantly in the past weeks.
He did feel like a ridiculous sad joke. He wanted nothing more than to be able to die alone because at least it meant he would just 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘪�� 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺. That his attempts wouldn't just be self-harm anymore and that when he tried blowing himself up, he wouldn't just regenerate back.
He couldn't keep his job. Couldn't keep Vanessa. Couldn't keep Logan. If it weren't for Logan, he wouldn't be able to keep his fucking universe.
He'd never be an anchor being. He'd never make a difference or matter, so why would anyone stay?
He sobbed as he held one of Logan's shirts, burying his face into it and desperately trying to smell any remaining scent of him.
Mary Puppins walks in, her tongue out as she turns her head to the side, looking up at Wade with sad eyes.
"What's all that damn noise? Did you stub your toe again?" Al walks in wearing a sleeping robe and her sunglasses, apparently having awakened from Wade's ugly crying.
"Hey, Al..." Wade just sniffles, his voice broken as he just chooses to ignore her question.
"What happened?"
"Logan left..."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Guess I'm that insufferable that he couldn't stand spending another minute with me."
"He spent whole months with you, Wade."
"Sure, but did he even have a choice? I basically kidnapped him and threw him in a fucking new universe. I'm like an old creepy guy in a van. He was just waiting for a chance to run off. And he did."
"Come here, let's get you some tea." Al gestures for Wade to follow her to the kitchen, and he does, taking the shirt in his hands with him.
"Actually, I could use some cocaine right now. And you could use the cure for blindness to see how heartbroken I am for tea." He remarks, following behind her, dogpool following Wade. "Try not to break any cups this time."
Al puts sets a kettle in the stove and turns it on as Wade sits on a chair, all droopy and his eyes red.
"Did he take anything with him? Any money? Clothes? How do you know he won't just come back?"
"No, nothing. He must be wandering the streets like a lost puppy right now. And I just know."
"I think you boys are just too stupid to communicate properly. If you talked about this shit-"
"Oh, he talked plenty, believe me. He ran his mouth about how much of a joke I am."
"Oh, cut the self-loathing crap. That was before then. You two have been acting like an old married gay couple for the last months, don't give me that. You don't see the way he looks at you."
"Oh, and you do?!"
"I don't have to see it to know that guy would throw himself in the fire for you. If he ran off, then it's probably because the idiot read your sad little kitten act like a sign he's not welcomed."
"What-"
"Shut up. Now, if you don't grow a pair of balls for once and try to find him, I sweat to god-"
"I wouldn't even know where to look. And I doubt it he'd even want me to."
"So you better start right away. Go."
"What about my tea-"
"Go."
...
The last few days were rough. And that's saying something, considering all Logan went through in his universe.
He didn't have a place to stay anymore, so he just wandered around and got from bar to bar. He didn't have any cash on him, so he would flash his claws out to the barman as a threat when he was asked about his bill.
He felt like a goddamn monster, so why not act like it. He's not proud of it, but it's been months he didn't have a drink, and all he wanted was to drown the overwhelming feelings eating at him.
He got banned from multiple bars, always hopping to the next one. Getting drunk, getting in some fights, wandering around...
He felt like he was back in his universe. He felt so fucking stupid to think maybe he could change. That maybe here he could turn the page, start a new life with Wade.
Turns out the place it's not the problem, he's the fucking problem. He's a disease that destroys everything he touches, and he should know better than to try and have any connection with anyone.
He failed everyone. He failed the X-men by not being there. He failed Charles by going into a murderous spree. He failed Laura by not being the right guy. He failed Wade by being the complete jerk he is.
He wasn't sure how many days it had been since he left. He's smelling bad, and his hair is mess, but all he cares right now is finishing one more bottle. Then, one more, and one more, and...
He feels something - someone - poking him. Logan thinks it may be the barman or the manager, so he pulls his claws out. "Look, bub, I-"
"Heya, Peanut. Gosh, I'm getting deja-vu. Ain't ya?" Logan's eyes focus to see Wade standing next to him wearing his suit and mask, and his heart races quickly. "You're a hard one to find, honey badger. And I'm a mercenary, so-"
"The fuck are you doing here?"
"You know the answer to that."
"Save it, bub. I gave you an easy way out. You should have taken it."
"Come on, let's just talk-"
"Not in the fucking mood." Logan grumbles, suddenly feeling his chest too tight and like the walls were closing on him. He stumbles while getting off the chair and heading outside with heavy steps, hearing an angry voice behind the counter as he leaves without paying.
He walks out of the bar, rushing somewhere through the empty street, nightly darkness everywhere. Where? Where the fuck was he rushing to?
He hears a bell noise and other footsteps behind him.
"Fine! I get it, alright?! I'm the worst damn piece of crap that you could possibly be stuck with! You were right, ok? I'm everything you said I am. I'd run off, too." Wade shouts, his broken voice making Logan halt in his steps. "But at least let me return the favor of you saving my universe. Let me try and find you somewhere where you don't have to deal with me-"
"It was never about that." Logan grunts, his heart aching like it was about to break.
How could Wade possibly think it was about that?
"What?"
"I'm poison, bub." Logan sighs, finally turning around. "I destroy everything I touch. I hurt everyone around me, I hurt you. I don't deserve you taking me in. I don't deserve your affection or your family. I shouldn't have thought that there was more to my life than being the miserable monster I am and living with the consequences of my own actions. You got the worst you could possibly have, Wade. I'm just doing you the favor of retracting myself before I fuck everything up beyonde repair." Logan could feel his throat tight like a knot as he fought back stubborn tears.
Wade was stunned, silent for a few seconds before he took off his mask and gave Logan the most puppy dog eyes he ever saw, his eyes glossy with tears matching his own.
"You're an fucking idiot." Wade simply stated, a sad smile in his lips. "You're not a monster. And you're far from the worst I could have. I owe my whole world to you. I know you think I'm a joke, but I couldn't ask for a better-"
"I don't think you're a joke." He interrupted.
"But... in the Honda Odyssey, back at the void..." Wade replies, hearing a chuckle that held nothing but sadness.
Fuck. It never came to Logan's mind that what he said that day actually stuck to Wade. He is an idiot. Those words felt so distant, so different from what he felt now for the merc. After all those months they lived together, getting all domestic and shit. Wade crawled into his heart that had felt dead for years and got a space there.
"That was before, bub. I didn't even really know you, of course now I don't think that shit I said."
"But you did... Back then." Wade looks down, his voice low.
"I'm sorry..." Logan says, the words feeling foreign on his tongue. "You didn't deserve that. I was a jerk. I still am, but... You make me want to be better, bub. It's stupid, but... You kidnapping me was probably the best thing that ever happened to me in years, and I was just... so scared I fucked it up too, like everything else."
Wade chuckles, and his eyes brighten as he looks at Logan, his heart feels lighter at hearing those words.
"You didn't." Wade gets closer, his hand resting at Logan's shoulder. "You're wanted. Loved."
The care and gentleness in Wade's touch melts Logan, he leans closer too.
"Come back home."
Those words alone broke him.
For so long, he didn't have a home. How could he have ever taken this one for granted?
"Alright, bub."
It was like clockwork when their lips met in a soft, gentle kiss, them holding each other closely as if they both feared the other would disappear into thin air any second. It felt so natural. Their hearts were calm and frantic at the same time.
Suddenly, there were fireworks sounds and colorful lights surrounding them, and they could hear people chanting happily in the background.
𝘖𝘩.
So it was New Year's already.
They kept their lips together for a few seconds as fireworks popped and formed colorful patterns in the sky. When they pulled away, their eyes were filled with longing and pure affection.
"You're stinky." Wade comments with a smile even though he keeps Logan close. Logan chuckles.
"Yeah, sorry."
"Come on. Let's get you home and make you a nice warm bath, peanut. Blind Al and Mary Puppins are missing you." Wade says while putting his arms around Logan's waist as he guides him their way home.
"Just them?"
"No." Wade replies. "Not just them."
#deadpool and wolverine#deadclaws#poolverine#wade x logan#wade wilson#logan howlett#fanfic#hurt/comfort#angst#fluff#x men#marvel#deadpool 3#deadpool x wolverine
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Charlie: Okay, that's fine- just... please, try and be a little nice to him, okay?
Adam: Okay, okay- shit... fine. I'll be fucking nicer...
He tensed up as Charlie hugged him tightly.
Charlie: Thank you, Adam... he's the only parent I've go left, I can't lose him...
Adam sighed and wrapped his arms around her.
Adam: I know, kid... I'll help him, okay? As much as I can.
Charlie nodded, her head resting just under his chest.
Charlie: T-Thank you, Adam.
-
Lucifer woke up tense and coughing. He felt like something was crawling up his throat, but after a few hacks, three petals came out of his mouth, landing next to him.
He could feel that Adam wasn't with him. As much as it hurt, he didn't blame him. Lucifer has left him more times than he could count. What was new was the hopeless feeling that filled him. That feeling that he wasn't good enough for Adam, he deserved to be alone.
Is this how Adam felt in Eden? Maybe worse, seeing as it was three people that left him. In the end, it was only Adam left. And now, it was only Lucifer.
He felt tears build up in his eyes, but he couldn't cry. He already felt the flowers crawling up his throat, cutting the sensitive flesh.
A click of the door made Lucifer look up, and he actually started crying when he saw Adam walk in- with food?
Adam: Hey, Lu- oh shit. Hey- bud, you're okay!
Adam put the tray of food down on his desk and quickly went over to Lucifer.
Lucifer: I-I thought you left- I-I'm so sorry, Adam- for l-leaving you- e-every time- I've failed you-.
Lucifer started coughing. Adam quickly helped him sit up and started rubbing his back.
Adam didn't want to think about what Lucifer said and how much strain he had in his voice. He didn't want Lucifer wasting his breath on him. Not if it'll cause him pain.
Adam: It's okay, Lu. Just... just try and breathe, okay?
Lucifer nodded and slowly started to calm his breathing. It was so much easier while Adam was here.
Adam: ...I'm sorry, too. I've done... horrible shit. You didn't deserve it. Not you or Charlie. I let my bullshit become everyone else's problem, and that's not fair. On any of you. So, I want to help you, okay? I won't... I won't pressure you to tell me who they are or anything. But I want to make you comfortable, okay? And... and maybe... fix you, completely... at some point.
Lucifer weakly smiled as Adam talked. It was strange hearing Adam so calm and caring, but he savored it. His heart even fluttered as Adam brought over the food he came in with.
Adam: It's just soup, I though it would go down easy, you know?
Lucifer: Thank you, Adam.
Adam smiled: Don't mention it.
Lucifers heart fluttered again as Adam started to feed him. He even wiped the corners of his mouth when he needed to.
Adam broke off a few small chunks of buttered bread and gave them to Lucifer. This was the first full meal Lucifer had in days. Everything was so hard to eat.
Adam: There. I don't usually make soup, so I hope it wasn't too shit.
Lucifer smiled and leaned back against the pillows.
Lucifer: It was perfect.
Adam smiled back: Okay, that's good. I'll uh... do you want a bath? Or something? You've been in bed for a while.
Lucifer blushed: W-Will you help?
Adam blushed as well, and he cursed himself for it.
Adam: If you want me to- if you're comfortable with it.
Lucifer: I am.
Adam: Alright, Luci. I'll get it started for you.
Lucifer's heart fluttered at the nickname, something he hadn't heard for a long time. He watched as Adam walked to bathroom and turned the baths tap on.
Adam: I'll open the window for you, try and get the steam out.
Lucifer: Thank you, Adam.
He smiled hearing Adam move around the bathroom. Lucifer was able to breathe easier, knowing Adam definitely cared for him. Maybe Adam doesn't hate him as much as he thinks he does.
@things-arent-what-they-seem66 @fanofstuff01
Hanahaki Disease
The day of the failed extermination was the end of many things for Lucifer. The end of Heaven's terror, the end of his isolation, the end of the Exorcists, but most importantly, it was the end of the First Man.
He had his fun, taunting Adam for anything and everything, his weight, his wives, his attitude. He knew there was no way in Hell Adam would ever be able to beat him, let alone hurt him. But it was fun to rile him up, fucker did put his hands on his daughter. He deserved it.
Feeling Adam's mask break open under his fist was so incredibly satisfying, but not as much as feeling the bones in Adam's face crack and snap as he landed blow after blow. Just when he was about to do something horrific with his Hellfire, he felt a warm touch on his shoulder.
Looking up, he was met with the face of his daughter, begging him for mercy. Of course, Lucifer felt a teeny tiny weeeny bit bad when he saw how much golden blood covered Adam's face and clothes. But that feeling quickly left when he crawled out of that crater to spew more self-righteous bullshit.
After that, everything was a blur. The sudden silver blade sticking out of Adam's chest, to him falling, landing on the ground with a sickening crack. The tiny maid on his back, stabbing him over and over. And laughing while doing it.
Lucifer watched as an angel with one arm ran over to Adam and pulled him onto his back. Her begging was hard to listen to. It was affecting a deep part of him that was making him feel sympathy for the pathetic bastard. He couldn't have that.
So, he threw them out. Every single one of them. Forcing the army to leave their dead to be feasted on by the cannibals.
Lucifer helped his daughter rebuild. He even cooked some pancakes for everyone.
It wasn't until he was sure everyone at the hotel was asleep that he went out to check the carnage. At least, that's what he told himself. But it was a useless lie as he beelined for Adam's body.
Lucifer felt sick as he saw the state of it. Most of his stomach was gone, his limbs bitten down to the bone. But the most painful thing was his wings. They were broken, snapped, and torn apart. Eaten.
He was eaten.
Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, the man twitched. And groaned. A bubbling noise escaped his throat, golden blood running out of his mouth.
He's alive.
Lucifer knelt down, his hand hovering just above his chest. It was definitely raising and falling. It was very weak, but it was still happening.
That's when Adam said his final words.
Adam: ...h-hate... you...
Lucifer watched as his eyes became empty. No feeling or purpose behind them. No holy light.
The day of the failed extermination was the end of many things for Lucifer. The end of his old friend. The end of all the good memories he had from Eden. The end of his hope to repair things with Adam.
But, the day after the failed extermination was the start of many things for Lucifer. The start of seeing Adam's chest slowly start to raise again. The start of Adam's stay at the Hazbin Hotel. The start of Lucifer's own personal Hell. The start of hanahaki disease.
It started the first day Adam was at the hotel. The man looked broken and defeated. He didn't even argue with Charlie when she told him about what he'd need to do to stay here. And she wasn't holding back, and neither was Maggie.
She had her spare pressed into Adam's neck the whole time. But the light in his eyes was gone, the need to fight back. He was still healing and was quite the horrid sight, but even that didn't give him any mercy from the members or workers at the hotel.
He watched Adam limp his way to the room Charlie said was his. The whole time, he said nothing, even when Lucifer made a few small threats to his life of he tried anything.
Lucifer felt a tickle in his throat, and he coughed and cleared it.
Lucifer: Hm. Weird. Better not have caught anything form those fucking angels.
Little did Lucifer know that was the start of something truly horrible.
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what would happen if monkey!Reader was harassed by a male monkey who tries to woo her and really won't give up(let's assume this happens before the kings announces their courtship since i doubt they would lay a finger on her if they knew) pls i need i've been harassed, heavily uneasely catcalled and saved by a dude who intervened(my hero❤) and i need to portray this asshole dead
Okie! It looks like I am making an oc Monkie demon who is also an absolute prick! I mean not all of them can be ‘nice’ and respectful. Like Wukong and Macaque are assholes there is no doubt about that but they will defiantly not harass Reader into bed with them. They even make sure she know about the cave they set aside for females who are in heat, a cave which is guarded and watched to make sure NO MALES come barging in during such a vulnerable time. They respect that women can and will say no to sex.
Now our price of a monkey demon who I shall name Linshu is NOT like that at all. (Will probably add him into cursed warlords too… hmm. Sorry back to the ask) Let’s get to it.
“Doesn’t it look so pretty!” Spirit cheered as she held up a bunch of flowers in her hands, her face brimming with pure joy.
You couldn’t help but chuckle at her pure excitement, ever since you two came to the island she was all smiles. Well after her short fight with her ‘dad’, but that didn’t last too long. You shook the thought away as she went back to looking at the flowers pointing out different ones, telling you the name and even the symbolism behind it. Her dad’s mate loved flowers and explained them to Spirit.
“Well look at these two beautiful ladies,” a new voice caught your attention causing both you and Spirit to turn and look at him.
Immediately Spirit’s face soured while you just looked. He must be someone Spirit met when you were exploring. You didn’t bother saying hello and frowned when your friend stepped in front of you.
“What do you want Linshu?” Spirit growled lowly.
“Can’t I say hi to the new troop members?” He asked with a smug smirk.
You narrowed your eyes at his attitude while looking him up and down. He was a short monkey demon with a dark grey pelt which was pretty well groomed, a rather toned body from fights, she could tell solely by the scars he had. There was a slash at his neck, one across his abdomen and another on his chest.
“Like what you see?” He asked proudly.
You narrowed your eyes again, he acted as though you should bow down to him. Where could someone get the nerve? He must be on some sort of power trip unless he always acted like this. If so then you didn’t want anything to do with this island at all.
“Not particularly, come on Spirit let’s go,” You said calmly.
Linshu’s face flushed in rage immediately gritting his teeth as if you had declared a fight against him or thrown some awful punch. You went to leave without any more talking when he grabbed your arm with a sneer. “Hold it there! You should be honored I’m giving you my attention!”
Your eyes darkened immediately before you moved and decked him across the face, hard. A low growl escaping your lips as you stood toe to toe with him. “Keep your hands off,” You growled. His grip didn’t move when he started yelling profanities at you, he was stronger and you hated that.
“Listen here, you should be honored that one of The King’s ACTUAL people are offering you a place here! You could be my mate and you would fucking love it. I am a powerful demon who is only second to the kings themselves. You have no right to deny me-“ He continued to yell at you.
“Let her go you prick!” Spirit yelled as she came over to help you, her tail lashing angrily.
Growling lowly you were about to speak when he suddenly released your arm and let out a pained cry. You were shocked to see Macaque’s hand on his shoulder, his grip tightening harder with each passing second. A dark threatening look settled easily across his face.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He questioned smoothly and the monkey immediately held still.
“N-Nothing my King, I was merely speaking with these women- Ah-AHH!” He shouted as blood dripped down his arm from Macaque’s claws.
“Hmm, it appears you don’t know your place,” His words were calm and steady even as his eyes burned with a very dangerous rage.
Loud footsteps came forward and you were shocked to see non other than Sun Wukong himself and to say his mate was the only angry one would be a lie. Rage covered his face while he held his staff over his shoulder, his grip tightly around it.
“Wukong my dear, would you please take these two out? I’m sure they would prefer not to witness this,” Macaque said calmly, while his tail lashed threateningly.
You didn’t even get the chance to say anything as Wukong pulled you away, Spirit following behind quickly. You were too far away to hear the sounds of his screams by the time Macaque began to- teach him a lesson. Not that you have much time to worry about it as Wukong takes you to the healer to check for any injuries.
All in all, you would definitely be in good hands the moment you come onto the island. Weather the two warlords have decided that they want you to be their mate yet or not. These two would definitely protect their troop from those not in it and those who are being assholes. Also that bitch dead, he died and is NEVER coming back. Hope you enjoyed Sleepy!
#dead dove do not eat#sun wukong x macaque#yandere sun wukong#yandere macaque#sun wukong x reader#macaque x reader#shadowpeach x reader#LMK OC#Monkie!Reader AU#Monkie!Reader lmk au#chu spirit oc#chu spirit
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Noona's 2024 Drama Wrap-up
Yeah, so don't expect me to make sense, I just need to gush my entire soul out about the dramas that kicked butt for me this year. Also gifs.
Atomic bomb of the year: The Untamed (2019)
The show that altered the chemistry of my brain completely and threw me into an obsession so serious I pulled several people down with me (you're welcome and I am sorry). A chinese fantasy drama that centers around a young man who wants to do what's right even if it costs him everything (and it does), and his soulmate who loved him through two lifetimes. Censored bl that feels zero censored because of the brilliancy and hard work of the cast and crew. Clearly a labour of love for everyone involved. Impossible to water down into a blurb, watch it and you'll understand.
Love blorbo of my life: Li Lianhua
No one else made me fall as deeply as Li Lianhua of Mysterious Lotus casebook (2023). This cynical, too clever, highly whumpable lying liar got me in a chokehold and has yet to let go. His love language is to push people away, but thankfully some people are hard to get rid of. Deserves to be lovingly wrapped in a blanket and fed chocolate until his sadness passes (or possibly forever).
The one I never thought I would love: DMBJ/Lost Tomb franchise (2016-2024)
Hi, hello, what the hell happened? This show kinda took over my life and I am seriously confused (standard dmbj experience). One of the queerest shows I've ever laid my eyes on featuring one of china's most famous m/m ships; Pingxie. Filled to bursting with adventure, conspiracies, tomb shenanigans, snakes and the best character dynamics I've ever seen on the small screen. Don't expect everything to make sense, just enjoy the ride. It's a hoot.
I cried my face off because of this: Fangs of Fortune (2024)
This made me suffer from dehydration, flailing arms with feet kicking, and severe gif-making-syndrome. Stunning Chinese fantasy with characters that will unapologetically roundhouse kick you in the heart. Repeatedly. Very queer and doesn't even try not to be. Did I say stunning? The cinematography and costumes are so fucking beautiful that this alone brings tears to your eyes. Just watch it, I can't possibly explain what it's about without starting to cry again.
Has a dear and special place in my heart: Oh no! Here comes trouble (2023)
So well written I want to chug vinegar because I didn't write it myself. Some of the best character dynamics known to man, fantastic stories told with a supernatural twist and (you guessed it) queer vibes that will smack you in the face. Has a wonderfully dumb and grumpy ml that will make you love him unconditionally in a very short amount of time. The drama deals with heavy topics, like grief and abuse, and balances it out delicately with ridiculousness and humour.
Favorite BL: History 3: trapped (2019)
The cutest little twink police falls in love with the mob boss he's been trying to catch for four years. Adorable low-spicy Taiwanese bl that utilizes the often seen het-romance drama tropes in a low key hilarious and endearing way. Enemies to lovers? Uhuh. Grumpy/sunshine? Mhm. Catch the love interest in your arms as they trip and fall? Yup. Everything wrapped in soft romantic lighting as you stare into each other's eyes? Yesss. And do i love it? FUCK YEAH. Actually does have a pretty solid plot as well, which made it a real home run for me.
Underrated gem: 19th Floor (2024)
A less queer version of Spirealm (but watch me try and find every queer crumb in it if it kills me). Got me on the edge of my seat most of the time, had characters I loved dearly with great development, adorable bromance with cheek smooches, and het-romance that didn't make me want to scratch my face off. FL kicks serious ass and is allowed to be unapologetically herself throughout the whole show. Also this show has Bai Shu and that is always a win.
#mysterious lotus casebook#the untamed#oh no! here comes trouble#fangs of fortune#history 3: trapped#lost tomb#dmbj#19th floor#cheng yi#noona watches#asian dramas#chinese dramas#taiwanese dramas#bl drama#noona wraps
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#i am going to actually cry my fucking eyes out#my body wants to do something violent but i would rather cry#i was about to be able to eat for the first time in a week but then something fucked it up and now i can't#physically i don't have food and mentally my plans changed so i couldn't if i tried#this problem is nothing and not real and i have no right to complain about something self inflicted#but god i wish anyone cared even a little bit :(#I have no conceivable tangible legitimate reason or right to even wish anything right now but i wish i wish i wish
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one thing i really deeply wish is that i'd had access as a kid to the plural community and information that are more easily available today, instead of my first experience with plural community which both took it seriously and was nonjudgmental having been 10's era tul/pa.info lmao
#moogletalks#in some ways it was a wonderful community; and it taught me a lot of really helpful things#and made me feel validated and hopeful that This is a Thing That You Can Continue to Be and Develop in an Adult Life#instead of feeling like there was a time limit for when plurality stopped being Childlike Imagination and started being Craziness(tm)#(lots to unpack there lol)#.....in other ways not only was there Some Real Fuckery going on in the community in general; on an interpersonal basis#but i cannot overstate how horrifically toxic and damaging some of the things it taught me about plurality were#and how when i entered the phase of young adulthood where i realized the approach it had demanded of me was unsustainable to my survival#instead of having other perspectives on hand to go 'hey yeah you're not torturing your parts to death out of laziness if they go dormant'#'and/or if you don't spend hours of extremely grueling intensive work at minimum into maintaining them every single day of your life'#'and that if they dissolve into nothing because you Didn't Pay Them Enough Attention and you try to recreate them it won't be the same one'#'and if they DO actually come back as themselves they'll be horribly broken and traumatized and probably hate you forever'#'who the fuck told you that. oh my god?'#all i had to go on was 'either you're plural or you live an actual functional life in the real world; and i can't not do the latter atp'#and the result was repressing myself in an incredibly traumatic way i have just never fully recovered from even now#the fun cherry on top was that later when i *did* try to ask (very kind and well-meaning) plural ppl from another mental health community#if anything i described sounded familiar to their own experiences; or ones they had heard from other people#their response was pretty much 'idk that doesn't sound plural to me; i'm sorry; it's something where if you have it you know :('#me crying my eyes out for days afterward: obviously this reaction is bc i want to appropriate plurality to feel special#and am throwing tantrums at having the bubble broken by Reality#anyway. it's been a lot and yeah i really wish i'd had literally any other affirming plural community as a kid lol#ableism cw#internalized ableism cw#pluralitag#traumatag#adventures in mental illness#disabilitag
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you know what? at least he got his wedding. i guess ,
#liz blogs#knight rider#knight rider spoilers#kr#knight rider liveblog#stevie makes me so fucking sad you dont understand. you dont understand. oh my god.#''at least i could always run into you at the supermarket'' ''thats how i do it too'' yeah. yeah. about that. uh. um. not. anymoRE#oh my god. at least they finally got their wedding. oh m y fucking god. it was beautiful for all of 8 minutes#this episode really smacks you with horrible grief over michaels two best relationships. its not bad enough about stevie#but then kitt rushes to his side after he gets shot. protects him. calls the ambulance. follows behind it the whole way there and looks#after him. god. tapped into the camera in his room and saves his fucking life. SITTING IN THE PARKING LOT FOR WEEKS#AND MICHAEL GETES OUT AND GOES 'YEAH ANYWAY IM LEAVING THE FOUNDATION' BITCH ??????? BITCH ??????????????#WHAT HAPPENS TO KITT THEN 8( YOU CANT JUST LEAVE HIM BEHIND HE'S YOUR FUCKING BUDDY !!!!!!!! HES YOUR PAL#OH MY GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO CRY FOR LIKE THE 8TH TIME#BUILD ANOTHER CAR. PROGRAM ANOTHER AI. THIS ONE IS MICHAELS HE SHOULD GET TO KEEP HIM FOREVER#IM GOING TO CRY MY FUCKING EYES OUT OH MY G O D#i was right to be upset and nervous for this episode. i was right. i was right. oh . my god.#knight rider is ruining my life actually. jesus christ. i thought michael was actually going to Kill for the first time. oh my god.#im so upset. about the tv show. im so upset im in grief im going to cry#Again.#she threw himself in front of him. she threw -#''haha funy show about a guy and his car'' -- five months later i am never recovering. i am never recovering from my decision to watch kr#jesus. FUCKING christ oh my GOD
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didn't realize how bad my environment affected my mental state until i left it . ... november has been suspiciously nice to me and I've been having less thoughts abt how little I matter and wow. I've been like having more collective good days than I've had like all year.
#january me wouldve been sobbing their eyes out like oh my god whst do u mean u left and nothing happened#what do you mean#but . i feel my needs r taken csre of here#crazy right i barely know anybody and yet ive felt more loved than i have all year its making me emotional#and damnit i am not goinf to cry over mh lunch at work. no sir#people think about me. like actually. i am a presence people notice and oh wow.#even when i was jhst a fucking emoji i was . Thought of. isnf that insane?#people ca n just pop into my inbox and go hi buddy whats up. ahhhh?#maybe i will cry lol#im not sure tjis is a negative vent but it is certainly charged wkth something so#tw vent#micetalk#gahhh i dont offer anything and people continue to be around me anyways i dont have to be basically a pet to be loved#so weid#so weird so so so weird#very good for hslping ease my borderline things of just makinf myself miserable if it meant i was easy enough.#gahhhhh...#i thought this wouldve been the most soul crushing potentially years kf mh life and yet.#all that suffering. all the worst is behind me.#word#Word!!!!
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#I was like wow its so quiet online rn its 11fucking pm#I didnt get back to my dorm till less than an hour ago and now im sitting her realizing that tomorrow is another fucking day#I cant do this anymore chat I cant fucking do this#I cant lock it. I really cant and its kind of killing me!!!!!!! Im so fucking tired of being out of my dorm for 12 hour every fucking day!!#Im so worried about my girlfriend too its actually so fucking dire I am just#Its too fucking much its too fucking much its too much#I want her to be safe but shes not and theres nothing I can fucking do#its so horrible#how do I go to class knowing shes not ok#im not even gonna start on my other relationships rn oh my god oh my god#I havent even processed my breakup really I keep just getting. overwhelming feelings and then ignoring them#I wish I could cry. I kiind of am but its just not. enough#nothing is cathartic#nothing is working#pinnochio turned his sly eyes upon the humble bathroom stall
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why the fuck do i miss pigeons
#don't ask me i am going thru it today#ebhehbbehbhebhabh#i miss pigeons dude#oooh the poor little domesticed cuties#kate rambles from here#this is a small detail of the feeling i am feeling#like post leaving nyc is wrecking havoc on my psyche#i don't want to be in the fucking great plains#a few irls don't understand my want for city life- and i didn't know it was this bad until staying there for 4 days-#but my mom's whole family is from the city- i just feel so at home there- and everything i've inherited that way is in my blood#and i just wanna bawl my eyes out#i have been quite a bit but like ik i have a goal now- to move into the city- i've always had that goal to at least move to the city near m#but like nyc was like being somewhere i felt i wanted- it's not that i'm looking to make it big- i miss the noise the water and pigeons#around here you'll hear the occasional car go by- and crickets- i miss the city lights- i keep crying about it for so many reasons but#i just don't know how to actually express it?#because it's such an odd feeling for me to feel? because if yknow me well- i love being at home- i hate sleeping somewhere else-#taking a trip down south this last christmas- i couldn't stand the quiet- it's quieter the more south you go and i can't do this#i've always wanted to leave my small town but ?? like actually being somewhere that has felt home has been unattainable bc every#where in oh hasn't been home... and for once i felt like i could do this- and having to return here- just made me break down and cry#maybe it's the person i live with- that makes me wish to leave- but that's not the full truth- idk maybe a good nap will help#kate rambles#i have a life goal now but i wish i could do it now- i hope sooner rather than later i'll at least live in the city#i've been happily living but now i have a direction i wish to run towards- and i'm gonna chase after it#sure i miss seeing tbz i loved seeing them- but it's not even post concert depression- if that makes sense?#which it doesn't make sense- because for mx it was only pcd- but for nyc it's missing the city... and it feels awful#pls ignore this i just needed to be frustrated somewhere#ig knowing what i'm missing- i can finally work on filling that spot huh? i guess that's what i'll be doing#(also vv small point but the fact that one of the people i live with- refuses to ever visit nyc again- is so comforting to me)#pls don't send me an ask about this i just needed to ramble and i haven't caught up on my daily journal yet to do so- so this is here
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IN THE HEIGHTS countdown: 15 DAYS!
song for today:
when i was younger i’d imagine what would happen if my parents had stayed in puerto rico who would i be if i had never seen manhattan? if i lived in puerto rico with my people? i feel like all my life i’ve tried to find the answer working harder, learning spanish, learning all i can i thought i might find the answer out at stanford but i’d stare out at the sea thinking where am i supposed to be? so please don’t say you’re proud of me when i’ve lost my way
#song for today: when you're home#this is actually my favourite song from in the heights#fun fact you should know: lin wrote it after one of his first dates with vanessa#another fun fact: when you see me listening to it on spotify on repeat it probably means i'm in my bed crying my eyes out#i can't even explain why???#but this song literally fucked me up#i am losing my shit everytime i hear the line “nina everything is easier when you're home”#i don't know what else i can say just listen to it#brb gonna go cry#it won't be long now*#Spotify
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Tomorrow I need to do an eye checkup in english (instead of german aka the norm) and I just checked if there are any better ways to explains things or tell people what to do etc instead of my basically direct translations and turns out
nope
it sounds exactly as stupid as i already worded it, no special words or better formed sentences around 10/10 school english is good enough (nice)
#txts#i am not excited#bc its always difficult to do specialized shit in another language#AND the person i am examining doesnt even know english and has a translator#so I speak english and the translator translates it over#which CAN be fine#but for finer reactions it can screw things over a bit so i hope thats not the case (:#also my coworker who can also do these in english got salty and decided to not do them anymore bc its not in his job description#which like-great i guess we can all just decide not to do things#like....an eye exam which IS in our job description with no languages specified (:#but then he is also the first to cry about ppl not going above and beyond#truly amazing thinking there#its not even like its truly hard its just annoying to do if the person you examin doesnt fucking understand you#goes for native german speakers as well#some ppl just dont have braincells#'please look at the number 9 in the 3 line'#//begins to read the entire thing from the top again#look-stupidity is not a sin and neither is misunderstanding stuff even if sometimes idek how you could#but also.....pls just actually listen and comprehend the words i am using#also dont suddenly throw out a 3rd or 4th option on a 2 question answer#or dont fucking interrupt me during a question either (:#'alright so do you prefer 1 or-' 'URGH NO THATS SO BAD NO NEVER' 'OR 2' 'NOOOOOO THATS BAD!!!!! I CANT SEE!!!'#yes m'am we are fuCKING WORKING ON IT#RELAX PLEASE DEAR FUCKNG GOD WE ARE LIKE 30SECONDS IN#this suddenly turned into a tags-rant oops#but yeah#pet peeve is ppl fucking interrupting me (: or not listening at all ever (:
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creating a spreadsheet of the trio's lines in the webnovel vs webcomic (as one does), and. i am on the FLOOR their characterisation differs so much from the webnovel and webcomic?!?!??? 😭😭 they took away all of hestio's flavour!!! and Ephael is a lot more stereotypical sunshine too i am losing my mind
Gone:
In the toy mansion, Ephael said that Tesilid was not just his friend, but his "best friend", so Ailette gave him more food. Hestio got very visibly sad and angry.
Whenever they're in battle, Hestio kind of talks to Ephael like he's a P*kemon ("Ephael, go and bite them!" / "Uh... okay.")
Ephael is pretty quiet and subdued throughout the toy mansion, while in the comic he's very artificially cheery.
ALMOST THE ENTIRETY OF HESTIO'S LINES WHEN THEY SNUCK TESILID FOOD IN PRISON IS GONE?!?!?!?? 😭😭😭😭😭😭 THE VIBES ARE SO DIFFERENT
Webnovel has BOTH Hestio and Ephael handing over food (in the webcomic only Ephael brought food. I dunno what Hestio was doing there.)
ONLY the webnovel has Hestio's extremely cute "What? Are you going to refuse the food because the rules are important? (annoyed but also genuinely scared)" / ".....I thought I'd have to shove the food down your mouth if you refused. Well, eat up."
The webcomic has Hestio suddenly ruin the entire mood by saying "🙄😒 did you know 🤓 the vatican is taking things out on you bc you refuse to kill heretics. also idc if the heretics are actually evil or not, what matters is that the vatican wants to know if youre on their side." like stfu please 😭 In the webnovel Hestio only brings this up because Ephael went "cheer up! if it werent for the city making a fuss, the vatican wouldn't have done this" and Hestio corrected him bc he wanted Tesilid not to misunderstand his situation with the Vatican.
What did they make comic!Hestio so callous for !!!!! 😭😭😭 Hestio is a SOFTIE with a mean streak and sharp tongue!!!
#a transmigrator's privilege#the perks of being an s class heroine#vatican trio#hestio ligenel#ephael chaletino#CRYING MY EYES OUT#THEIR NOVEL CHARACTERISATION IS SO CUTE THO?!?!??????#spoilers in next tags#on god if they take away hestio shutting up and ephael taking over the convo in the reunion scene i am going to CRY#that scene is so precious to me?!??#novel dynamic of hestio being the one taking the lead and ephael backing him up is so precious to me#anyway if anyone wants access to the spreadsheet lmk.... sobbing#anw i started this mini project bc ora you said that you couldnt tell who was talking in mirror dungeon (so valid)#and i was like oh the more casual one is eph-- ....is it actually? where did i get this impression#im done w the tutorial arc but its alr making me MISERABLE wym their characterisation changes so much 😭😭😭😭#anw in their childhood they both talk in v similar ways#as adults one of them is casual and the other uses more formal speech patterns#also if any one is cussing either ephael or tesilid out its almost definitely hestio. lol.#by the process of elimination (no one else in the party would be so rude to ephael)#and ephael is generally more chill about tesilid#u cant really tell while reading but ephael very rarely says bad things about tesilid#its usually hestio that's mean about it and hes so loud + ephael doesnt disagree with him so its v easy to attribute it to him too#i mean ephael prob also shares the same thoughts. but its usually hestio voicing it and w that much negativity#ephaels just like lol our boy tesilid is up to his usual hijinks again. haha#while hestio is like UGH this ASSHOLE can you fucking BELIEVE HIM. just LOOK at him what does he think he's doing#ephael (neutral): oh tesilid not again#hestio (screaming and full of hate): tesilid not again!!
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hhhhhhh I can't have nice things
#well I can but I'll face the consequences#oh what's that? you wanted to have a nice day and fun times? well you are now cursed with horrible stomach pain and nausea!!#go die in the bathroom and try not to wake up your mom because it's midnight#okay she wouldn't mind if it's for this but I'd feel kinda guilty#I did wake up my dad because I needed. someone. to help me. I might cry fuck#surprised I'm not already crying my eyes out but maybe I'm just too tired#anyone else get that? we're you're too tired to spend the extra energy crying? idk#I think it's mostly over now maybe?? but fuck man it might come back#I guess I ate a lot today so maybe it's from that maybe? or maybe my illness is just being a little bitch for no reason#it could maybe be an allergic reaction I guess but I was just with family and my family is usually careful enough to avoid-#-cross contamination so idk#guhhh I am. dying. I am dead actually. this is my tortured ghost soul haunting my sad little tumblr blog
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#the Monthly Blood Bath™️ has arrived that explains it!!!!#also i just rewatched harry singing girl crush#did i actually start crying? yes#am i feeling a lot (too many) emotions about it rn as a consequence? also yes#like ofc he’s super privileged and all that#but my heart also aches for him#i’m not gonna claim to know anything about his gender#but it’s so obvious that he’s never wanted to be your like typical Masculine Man#from day fucking one dude#and being under the biggest spotlight in the world rn like#if he is feeling gender stuff#i can only imagine how difficult and heartbreaking it would be to be going thru that at the same time and being under such a watchful eye#it was hard enough for me to break out of my original mold with like#15 people knowing me lmaoooo like fuck dude#ANYWAYS#harry ily and i hope that u are/get to live as authentically as makes u comfortable 🫶#rowyn rambles
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