#it could maybe be an allergic reaction I guess but I was just with family and my family is usually careful enough to avoid-

[butnobodycame627]

hhhhhhh I can't have nice things

[cherryrikis]

SWEET LATTE

PAIRING non idols yang jungwon x fem reader

WARNINGS none

GENRE fluff

SYNOPSIS you and jungwon decide to get a cat. and he loves it more than he’d admit.

despite the two of you being incredibly allergic, you somehow managed to convince jungwon to let you get a cat, since maeum has been with his parents.

so you did. you brought it home. but now you were clueless on what to do, since you both were dog people.

“is it.. dead?” he asked, gently poking the chubby kitten.

“no wonnie, it’s not dead! he’s just sleeping!” you swatted his hand away before scooping up the kitty and holding it in your arms.

as soon as your new pet felt it being lifted off the surface, he immediately woke up, snuggling closer into your grasp. holding the cat out to your boyfriend, he hesitated to pet it, you literally had to bring his hand up for him.

but as soon as jungwon made contact with the cat, “achoo!” he sneezed out loud.

“this was a terrible idea.” he sniffled, wiping his nose with a tissue.

“well you’re gonna have to watch him when i go to the office in.. an hour.” you informed, checking your phone for the time.

“what? you’re working today? i can’t take care of it alone!”

you shrugged in response, before turning back to the kitty in your arms. “you’re so cute!” you cooed. “i’m gonna name you latte!” and immediately, you continuously pecked the top of latte’s head as he purred.

“latte? really? that’s so basic.” jungwon grimaced as he looked at the little beige cat. it was a scottish fold with white spots. “i know it’s basic, but i can’t resist! he’s just the sweetest thing ever.”

“am i no longer your favorite sweet thing?” he joked, playfully pouting as you placed latte in his arms.

“the sweetest,” you gave him a long kiss on the lips before pulling away. “so don’t be like that. i’m gonna go get ready now.” you smiled.

“what am i gonna do with you?” jungwon sighed, staring at latte as he crawled across the couch when they finally sat back down.

by the time you came home, you absolutely were not expecting the sight in front of you. hurrying to take a warm shower, you wrapped your hair in a towel before going to sit next to jungwon in the living room.

you laughed as your boyfriend dangled his keys above latte’s head, the cat reaching out it’s paws tirelessly.

you leaned into jungwon, laying your head on his shoulder as he continued to play with your new child.

“oh jungwon..” you gasped, using your hand to turn his head so he could face you. you examined his red face, his eyes puffy from his allergies.

“it’ll go away later. i took medicine.”

“guess you love him don’t you?” “of course.” he sighed.

“and latte is just so sweet isn’t he?”

“the sweetest.”

“i think he has your eyes.” you point out, comparing the two as you often switched your gaze. “he’s like our little baby.”

“you’re saying i’m a cat?” jungwon raised a brow.

“maybe. i’m also saying our future daughter would look a lot like you.” you shrugged.

“what?” his eyes widened, fully turning to you in shock, “you’d really be willing to start a family with me?”

“of course. i mean, not too soon obviously, we’re only 20. but in the future, i think we’d make really good parents.” you smiled.

jungwon’s heart swelled, and his face ran hot (not just as an allergic reaction).

“my heart is so full right now.” he sighed, taking one hand off the cat to hug your waist as you wrapped your arms around his bicep.

“you’d be a great mother, and a gorgeous wife. also, i totally think we’re gonna have a son.” he whispered.

“daughter.” “son.”

“if we have a son, we should name him-” “i am not naming my son after the cat.” jungwon mumbled.

“whatever.” you grumbled.

“anyway. i can’t believe we got to talk about all this because of a cat. i guess they really are lucky.” he chuckled, leaning further into you as you held him tighter.

“guess that makes you my lucky charm then, doesn’t it?”

“guess so..” jungwon licked his lips, before leaning his head down to kiss you softly.

enjoy this fic? read similar works here!

[pepperonidk]

hi! If your requests are still open I would like to request Joshua (or any other member) getting you a puppy for valentines and turns out you get him the same thing 😁 thank you!

puppy love

pairing: joshua hong x gn!reader genre: established relationship, fluff warnings: none! (but also i've never owned a dog bc my whole family is allergic so do not come for me about what i think getting a dog is like i do not know) a/n: PLEASE I'M SO SORRY I'M NOT IGNORING THIS 😭 it just took a while for me to do bc of school and job applications this was such a cute idea (i hope you don't mind i tweaked it a little bit) <3333

It was supposed to be the anniversary gift of a lifetime. A symbolic representation of his hopes and dreams for your relationship -- dreams of a family, joy, and laughter filling the halls of your shared home. It was the perfect idea, until...

"I'm so sorry, sir," the assistant at the front apologized with a timid smile, clearly expecting an explosive reaction from her customer. "Someone came in and adopted him just this morning."

Joshua sighed, running a hand through his hair. "That's alright," he assured her. "I'm sure I'm not the only one who thought he was adorable." He could almost see the weight lift off the worker's shoulders as he chuckled sheepishly at his own comment.

As he walked out the door, his own anxieties began to fill his head. Maybe if I had gotten here just a little bit earlier... No. That wouldn't have worked because I had to go pick up flowers, and we had that early breakfast reservation... I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

Joshua had intended on surprising you with a puppy, building up to it with subtle hints throughout the last few weeks. Suggesting dog movies during movie night, asking about your childhood dog, even going so far as to play Bluey on the TV when you got home and then pretending to be clueless as to who put it on. (He had learned in his psychology class from college that subliminal messaging works wonders).

But, clearly life had other plans.

As he walked back home, he passed a gift shop that was just opening up. He had noticed it for a few weeks now, and had even talked to the shop owner who was working outside a few days ago, so he decided to go in and check it out.

"Joshua!" the shopkeeper greeted him warmly as the door chimed behind Joshua. The store was an eclectic collection of various knick-knacks and trinkets, all lined up tightly on the shelves in colorful array.

"Hey," Joshua returned. "Nice place you got here."

The shopkeeper grinned happily in response as he made his way toward where Joshua was standing, fiddling with a music box. "Thanks," he beamed. "Is there anything you're looking for in particular today?"

Joshua let out a sigh. "Yeah, it's me and my partner's anniversary today. I wanted to get them a puppy, but someone adopted him before I could."

The shopkeeper nodded in acknowledgement. "I see," he hummed. "Well, if you're interested, we have a selection of stuffed animals, and quite a few are dogs. It's not the real thing, but maybe you can consider it a placeholder?"

Upon considering this alternative, Joshua perked up quite a bit. "That's actually a great idea," he remarked. "Lead the way?"

The shelves were lined with various colors and textures of stuffed animals, and lo and behold, there was one of a Jack Russel Terrier, the same dog he wanted to bring home earlier today. He eagerly handed it to the shopkeeper for checkout and walked out of the store with a skip in his step.

However, before he could unlock the apartment door, he could hear hushed voices from the other side. One was definitely yours, but the other... was not.

"Shh, you have to keep it down, he'll be here any minute now," your voice nagged.

Before he could let the intrusive thoughts intrude, he opted instead to unlock the door, to find you sitting by the kitchen island, on the floor with your hands suspiciously behind your back.

"Hey...?" Joshua called tenatively with a questioning look.

"Hey yourself!" You called a little bit louder to cover up the sound of something... squeaking?

As he walked closer to you, he could also hear the soft pitter patter of footsteps behind your back, despite your attempts to hide them.

"Is that..." Joshua began, his eyes widening.

"Surprise?" You replied sheepishly as you moved your hands away from your back, finally allowing him to see the excited Jack Russell Terrier who was itching to see his familiar face.

Joshua couldn't hide his excitement as he sat down in front of you, letting the puppy crawl onto his lap. "How did you even know?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, you're not very subtle," you replied smugly. "You've been dropping hints for the last month that you want a puppy. I noticed." Joshua laughed and leaned over to press a kiss against your cheek.

"Did you now?" He teased as you nodded in response. So his plan did work, just not the way he thought it would. "How lucky am I that the love of my life is not only insanely hot, but insanely smart too?" He wiggled his eyebrows at you, causing you to chuckle in response.

"I'd say pretty damn lucky," you replied as the puppy ran back and forth between the two of you, clearly excited to be part of this small family.

"I'd say so too. Happy anniversary."

[hockeyisforthegays]

did you read 264 and 265 chapter's of jjk? if so what are you thoughts? you don't have to answer i'm just curious about what you think because i feel like you have really unique observations

(love you writing, thank you in advance if you end up answering)

oh shit anon let me write you an essay. and by essay i mean a disjointed series of long ass bulletpoints. also im gonna be focusing mostly on 265 because as my friends put it i am "ceo of itadori yuuji" or the proprietor of the "itadori cinematic universe" so you could say. that i am biased

okay. one. as an overall thing. i wish that for pretty much everything . that they would just lean into it more. theres a lot of concepts im into but everything lately seems to be presented without exploration or followup. like im about to analyze this to shit but i feel like im gluing meat to a skeleton. help me out here gege

FOR EXAMPLE yuuji's ultimatum to sukuna. i wish. i wish there was more here. like in theory this is really cool to me. yuuji says You Choose Whether I Eat You Or Kill You. Will You Live With Me? Or Will You Die Alone?

I lay my Body down as a Sacrifice

but more so as a Prison

but most of all as a Mercy

the first to my Friend, the second to my Curse, and the third to the Person i hope is buried deep down inside that evil.

aaaaand then this is kinda undercut by sukuna's reaction to me. not that i need him to go full on mahito quaking rabbit ass on us tbc. but the stubborn non-engagement with the premise just makes me roll my eyes and groan. i wish gege had found a way to let this reveal SOME new or unexplored aspect of sukuna's character? one chink in the armour. one stray thought that we wouldn't expect to hear from him. something. something to latch onto.

this may be unreasonable also given that gege is writing in literally a different language but i hope we find our way somehow to the double meaning of the phrase "flesh and blood" btw. like. sukuna is yuuji's uncle and they shared a body. yuuji is trying to make sukuna come back to that body. theres something there i swear it.

sukuna, come home. we're family. you're my flesh and blood.

(while beating his ass)

like make it scary. god PLEASE put some metamorphosis stank on it. gimme that I Am You flavourrrrr

okay now also. yuuji's domain. i want to talk about yuuji's domain so bad. one thing i noticed was that he doesn't name it. at first i was pretty disappointed because im a weirdo and i love their weird word salad names, i love that e.g. fushiguro and mahito just bust out full poems on i guess instinct when they use their domains for the first time!! so the fact that yuuji didn't get one felt at first like he was being... slighted by the convention almost? but.

this is again a thing i think could have been cool if leaned into, in a few ways. ive just been having these ideas about how yuuji's domain is different from other domains, one of those ways being in its lack of a name.

first of all from a character perspective - yuuji's whole persona in battle is like warpath, tunnel vision, beat your ass shit, so it does kinda make sense that his domain would be just as no muss no fuss just get it the fuck done, in a way. once again. lean into this!!

but also, i started thinking about what we saw with characters like gojo and sukuna, and the idea of jujutsu as the art of elision. when those characters wanted to juice their big moves, they reverted rituals that included vocal incantations. that exact word salad shit. i started thinking - those word salad domain names are like, that, you know? maybe this is explicit and i just missed it somewhere. or i forgor. but perhaps invoking a domain's name makes it more powerful, or easier to establish, or something

(i so much dont want to reread to figure this out. RIP)

if this is the case, yuuji not using a domain name would say a darn something about his power huh???

LEAN INTO THIS. LIKE SUKUNA COMMENT ON IT FOR FUCK SAKE i know you are allergic to acknolwedging your nephew but its for the AUDIENCE'S SAKE NOT YOURS

gege i am fucking inventing lore for you to make it cooler. why wont you. come back here

but anyway. what IS yuuji's domain and what does it do. he learned from kusakabe, so it's at least somewhat akin to a simple domain, but we also know yuuji's body holds the memory of malevolent shrine - does that have any influence on how the domain turned out? it seems pretty... big, for lack of a better way of describing a mental projection. no other simple domain really HAD projections. are there no techniques imbued in it? what about vows, like sukuna with his whatever barrier bullshit? yuuji's forces sukuna back into the yuukuna body. why? how? we've seen how domains can make its targets abide by rules, what rule is this? sukuna also acts nonviolently for as long as yuuji strings him through illusory sendai, and i dont know if this is a choice by sukuna (which idk whether i do or do not understand as a character choice at this point) or if it's enforced by the domain somehow.

(I feel like, these things either need to be More or even Less clear. like i understand just enough to have burning questions. if this were more obtuse and symbolic, i would probably be content to ride the vibes, actually. BUT IM NOT. ANSWER ME GEGE. YOU'VE TOLD ME SO MUCH LORE I DONT CARE ABOUT!!! WHAT OF MY SON!)

anyway closing thoughts wrt 266 you may be able to tell from my Fucking Fanfiction but i have literally been waiting for yuuji's own fingers to become cursed objects for EVER. i was imagining scenarios while watching season 1. im crazy stupid about it. i hope i hope i hope this finger shakes out into something WORTHWHILE. and sorry again this is entirely yuuji centred my only thoughts about the characters who were in 264 is the frustration of the way they got sidelined so carelessly RIP

[roller6262]

I generated a picture, I think you'll really like embodying! You'll get to eat without worry and spend lot of time in the garden, doesn't that seem fun?

HELP! Do any of my followers have a picture of me? I mean the REAL me?

I got this ask in my inbox and didn't think anything of it until I went shopping and saw mangoes in the produce section. I'm usually more of an apple man, but today I had a craving. No, a need. I couldn't even wait, peeling the sticker off to pay later so I could take a bite. It was like heaven! Perfectly in season too. I ravenously finished the rest and was about to grab another before

"UUURRRRPPPP" I belched! And it wasn't just the smell of mango. Vegetables, spices, and more unfamiliar were on my breath. That's when I noticed my usually baggy shirt grazing my stomach. It wasn't flat anymore, maybe a bit paunchier? I guessed bloating would explain the sudden gas, but my suspicions turned to an allergic reaction as it kept growing! I bolted towards the door, growing bigger with every step, from gutted to chubby to fat and down right obese! I would say I was inflating if it weren't for my belly also softening. It now rose and fell with every movement, my growing man boobs also suspending then slapping back down on my stomach.

I could even feel the fat on my face when I finally made it outside. I hunched over, hands on my knees and breathing heavy between plump cheeks. I shouldn't be this tired already, but I had to walk the rest of the way to my car. And to make it worse my thighs were irritated by the friction in my soccer pants as they rubbed together. By the time I arrived I was waddling with what felt like trunk legs and labored into my sedan.

I rushed home and heard honking, probably from my reckless driving, but there were no cars around me. It was this fat gut slapping the horn! I adjusted my seat back and sighed. BEEP. Seriously!? I adjusted back again BEEP. It wasn't until the farthest back that I stopped getting fatter, but now that it wasn't touching the wheel I could feel the breeze on it. Of course, my shirt was too small now, riding up to nearly my moobs. I tried to tug my shirt down multiple times to cover myself with no use, until suddenly it all came down at once. If I had looked down, I might have seen the pink fabric flowing down to my knees, but I was distracted by a "BRAAAAAAAP"

I grabbed a pink handkerchief in my car to wipe the mango juice from my lips when I felt... hair? Looking in the rear view mirror I saw a full beard, and it wasn't just my face. I had a full mane of beautiful long hair, black hair! It was just too weird! I tied my hair up with my handkerchief to keep it out of my peripheral vision. I just had to focus on driving, I'd be home soon enough. However, I could feel something silky wrapping around my head. It was lopsided at times, throwing off my center of gravity. When my head tilted left, I turned left, and the same thing on the right. I made so many wrong turns I wasn't sure where I was, but looking in the rear view mirror again I saw that my handkerchief had grown and wrapped into a pink turban. With another tilt, it tugged me to make a turn into a neighborhood next to a gurdwara. I drove a few blocks and parked in front of a house. It wasn't my house, not the one I remembered, but it was home.

I heaved myself out of the minivan (which I had only realized was changed later), and waddled with more comfort in my silk pants. But I didn't waddle to the front door. No, I went to the garden... the garden where mangos were growing. I grabbed one and took a bite. Why, these were even better than the grocery store! Just like the ones in my farm in Punjab! I was so happy I could keep a taste of my homeland with me, even in another country.

Sorry, I lost my train of thought! Anyways now I'm in this garden and it's getting dark! I feel like I'm going to have to go inside this house soon, and meet the new family that is waiting for me. I'm afraid that if I do, I'll get sucked further into this new reality! Please, if anyone has a picture of me, send it to my asks so I can transform back to normal!

[polarfog]

Gyft-Christmas Troubles

Prompt Number: #1, "It's not too late, let's go."

Fandom: Undertale

Rating: T

Warnings: Allergic reaction, hospitalization, attempted murder

For Fictober Day #1

Sans felt like a loser of a stepfather, okay truthfully he had no idea if he was even considered a father to Frisk. Toriel is their adopted mother, and he married her later on. So he guessed he was just Frisk’s guardian in a sense. 

He wanted to show an effort to Frisk, especially after they confided in him that they only stayed with Toriel because they had nowhere else to go. They expressed anger and disappointment at the monsters trying to kill them then expecting forgiveness. 

This is probably why his gift of matching sweaters was a bad idea. Wasn’t it a human tradition to wear uncomfortable, ugly, matching sweaters for Gyft, sorry Christmas? Apparently that wasn’t a thing.

When Frisk put on theirs, they started scratching and breaking out in hives. Toriel had to escort them to the emergency room. Sans was waiting for a call, after Toriel texted him that Frisk is apparently allergic to cotton. How was he supposed to know that? Cotton isn’t exactly a common allergy. 

What kind of father is he? He ruined Frisk’s first Christmas with the family. Or is it their first Gyftmas, he didn’t know. 

Papyrus came into the living room after he finished Toriel’s pie. “Brother, why are you down? We’ll continue the party when Frisk is back.”

“I ruined their Gyftmas. Who wants to spend the holiday in the emergency room?” Sans sighed, “By giving them a present.” 

“Give them a better present?”

“How? All the stores are closed.”

“Make one. I know Frisk likes your puns for whatever reason. You are no stranger to crowds either. Give them a show they enjoy.”

“I got to set it up.” Sans was being pulled off the couch, “Oof Papyrus, it’s a little late to do it now.”

“Nonsense brother.” Papyrus stamped his feet, “It’s not too late, let’s go.” 

This is how Sans ended up in Sans room. “You can sow. Let’s start with ribbons.”

Papyrus and Sans finished the ribbons they were sowing together, pink, green, yellow, and red. Sans made the red ribbons look like they were glowing, apparently humans had a reindeer whose nose glows. It sounded kind of silly, but who was he to argue about someone’s looks. Plus, he didn’t want to get on the bad side of any reindeer. 

Frisk did help him make treats to appease the reindeer. It was mostly chocolate? So maybe he could give Frisk some after the performance. He did put soda in their stocking, but they looked disgusted at the sight. He really should have gotten to know Frisk better, especially since Undyne took him aside and told him that they knew Frisk hated soda. 

While contemplating his failures as a guardian Sans hung up the ribbons around the living room. Papyrus put flashlights on the coffee table beside the couch. 

When Frisk came home guided by Toriel to the couch, she called their friends. When everyone arrived Toriel warned the group, “Frisk is a tad loopy. Absolutely no roughhousing. They are to sit and relax.” 

Sans got Frisk’s attention, “Sorry about the emergency room, kiddo. I got you another present while you were gone.” Frisk looked happy enough. 

Sans got up front while Papyrus turned the lights off before directing people to shine their flashlights on Sans. When Sans had the light on him, he started cracking jokes and some bad puns to Frisk’s amusement and Papyrus’ reluctant acceptance. 

Afterwards Sans got something he wasn't expecting, a hug from Frisk, for the first time ever. “Best Christmas ever.” Well that settled it, this holiday was now Christmas. 

Sans hugged them back. “I’m glad kiddo.” 

[ox1-lovesick]

📨 incoming ask game !

post a snippet of your drafts (atleast 5 if you have more) and let your readers guess what it's about !

This ask really found me at the worst time i literally have 96 drafts 💀 wips list maybe 🙀🙀🙀 there's only a handful of them but here you go, i may scrap these or completely change them so just keep that in mind y'know 💀 I HAVE MORE ENHYPEN STUFF BUT I WAS PLANNING TO DO SOMETHING ELSE SO I CAN'T SPOIL THEM YET

✧ REACTIONS

( i didn't include snippets in these cause it doesn't make sense without context 😭💀)

001: tubatu - you forget their pet's birthday

002: enhypen - you are taller than them

ㅤ

003: introducing tubatu to your family

✧ HEADCANNONS

001: txt as cliché romance tropes

── "you always cheat off me but you don't know my name?" you smiled at him, his eyes almost dissapearing as a guilty smile beamed back at you. "no wonder we're both taking the make-up test," he chuckled softly "do you maybe want to study together? i have no idea what i'm doing" his eyes trained on the marbled tiles below you "i don't have a clue either, i'm sure we'll figure it out though"

002: txt as tragic romance tropes

── maybe your mother was right, kai was indeed so perfect he didn't seem real. maybe her tears every time you mentioned him were off happiness—happy that her child had found someone who loves and appreciates them despite their circumstances. he was real, you felt it. the way he talked to you, touched you, kissed you. you could see his love clear as day—but schizophrenics who haven't taken their meds in weeks don't always see the truth, do they?

003: txt and how they show their love for you

── he takes care of you; throwing an extra jacket over his shoulder when you go out on a particularly cold day, scolding you as you shiver — with love of course, for not listening to him when he told you to cover up.

ㅤ

✧ TIMESTAMPS

001: [4:27 am] - c.bg

── any normal person would be sound asleep asleep right now, after all, 4 in the morning was an unusual hour to be up at when you had work in the morning. you, like a normal person, did have work in the morning, however sitting next to you, was the most abnormal person you've ever known. he too, like a normal person had a full schedule that would start in about an hour; instead opting to keep you and himself up throughout the night rather than getting the sleep he'd need to function throughout the day.

ㅤ

✧ FICS

(starting off with the tyun fic cause @yv17 will bite my head off 🫶)

001: Cash Or Card? - K.TH

002: Bookworm - C.BG

── be it early in the morning when he thought the others were still sleeping, or late at night when his eyes are struggling to stay open, he would always show up infront of you. it had become a force of habit at this point, never fully conscious or aware of his thoughts when he made the decision to grab another drink or pass by, his feet just carried him back to you sooner or later. dimples poking out of his cheeks, face dusted in red as he smiled, a smile he wore only when he knew he would see you. the same smile you searched for everyday without fail, your own lips curling at the sight

── "you can barely keep your eyes open y/n." beomgyu placed a gentle hand on your back, his gaze softening seeing your droopy eyelids. as adorable as you looked to him right now, he could see you were exhausted, anyone could— the way your head hung low enough to practically fall off your neck, your eyes red and bloodshot from the hours of forcing them awake to read one last paragraph, and your sleep schedule practically non existent due to you devouring one book after the other to store the information somewhere there in your brain.

003: Strings - C.BG

── "can a best friend not call another best friend over to sing them love songs anymore?" he smiled, his eyebrows furrowed.

004: Mistletoe - K.TH

── "this is all my fault, i'm so sorry" taehyun took your hand in his, caressing it softly "if i knew you were allergic i never would have hung the mistletoe, i wanted to kiss you, not send you to the hospital"

005: Gingerbread - Y.JW

── "maybe if you actually followed the recipe you wouldn't make a disaster every time" jungwon snickered, the piping bag clutched tightly in his hand—skillfully swirling buttercream roses onto the side of your gingerbread house

[linagram]

Back again! I have survived school for the week! Anyways, without further ado, here’s the hunger duo!

Prisoner 007: Asahi Yano

So we’ve made it to the brat! Yay! I’d say that this murder is fairly straightforward, except for the fact that all the circumstances surrounding it are super hazy, even if the murder itself is plain as day.

So, I’m going to start by trying to piece together Asahi’s backstory. Asahi is Miki’s younger brother, and their mother died shortly after Asahi was born. Their father was probably not a nice dude, considering the… everything about his kids, and Asahi ran away from home. (Notably, Asahi recalls how his father spoke well enough to emulate it, but doesn’t recall his birth name. Which is weird.)

Anyways, after running away, Asahi runs into a Mrs. Yano. Mrs. Yano wants children but has fertility issues that make it pretty much impossible, so when she finds Asahi, she scoops him up pretty much immediately and declares him her son. (The legality of this is… questionable, IMO. I think under most circumstances, Asahi would have just been returned to his father? Which makes me wonder how this actually went down.)

I’m not totally clear on if Asahi disliked Mrs. Yano from the beginning or if he started hating her later on, but either way by the time he’s 11 the relationship has deteriorated massively. Asahi is spoiled and demanding, and Mrs. Yano was not prepared for a child this difficult.

Eventually, Asahi gets the idea to hurt or maybe even kill Mrs. Yano. This leads to the events of the MV, where Asahi compiles a list of weaknesses and then ends up killing Mrs. Yano by tampering with her food. My guess is he triggered an allergic reaction: if Mrs. Yano had a common food allergy, it wouldn’t be hard for Asahi to get ahold of something she was allergic to and slip it into her food. It’d also explain the focus on her weaknesses if it was something that wouldn’t affect most other people, like a food allergy.

Anyways, that brings me to the last scene in the MV. …The puddle is PROBABLY metaphorical? I can’t think of what Asahi could have been lying in a literal puddle of. I think image-coloured liquid is usually blood, but Asahi lying in a pool of blood makes zero sense whatsoever.

I don’t quite understand Asahi’s memory loss either. My best guess is he’s repressed some of his murder due to trauma? Killing someone generally qualifies as a traumatic experience, so it’d track.

Anyways, he ran away from home shortly after the murder, probably to avoid Mr. Yano literally killing him considering they don’t seem to have had the best relationship, and that’s when MILGRAM kidnapped him and brought him to the prison.

(Final thought: wonder what Miki’s reaction was the first time he called her “Miki-nee”. I can’t imagine her hearing that and not having a minor heart attack, even if she knows that’s just how he addresses everybody.)

Prisoner 008: Yurika Maruyama

Okay, number eight! Yurika is an interesting character, but holy fuck her VD makes me hate her a little. I hope she doesn’t usually act like that, but I have a sinking feeling she does.

Anyways, let’s start by establishing who Yurika is and who her victims were.

Yurika is pretty clearly an ex-rich kid, or at least I think so. Her parents are both famous creatives, so her family most likely has money. She also says her parents kicked her out and they’re not that close anymore, to the point she says she’d only be leaving her boss behind if she died. (My bet is that Yurika expected to live with them while she was attending university and thought she could keep relying on her allowance money, they told her she had to move out and get a job, and it escalated into a big fight.)

She’s unhappy with having to grow up and wishes she could be a kid forever, finding adulthood extremely stressful. She also appears to be the most popular waitress at the cafe she works at, and is close enough with her manager that she’s been to her place multiple times. (She’s also kind of whiny and childish, and if her VD is any indication she’s prone to fits of dramatic hysterics.)

In contrast, we have precisely two things on her victims. One is this quote from her VD:

Yurika: Well, actually, I wouldn't say that they were my stalkers…

Yurika: But they knew a bit too much about me. And I didn't want them to know even more.

Yurika: I just wanted them to respect my privacy, that's all!

And the other is this scene from her MV:

Yurika has a bad feeling and she keeps looking around as she walks home. But then, suddenly, the POV changes and we can see Yurika running away.. from us. She trips and falls and everything goes black for a second, but then we can see her lying on the ground, her clothes is torn and her hair is a mess now. It looks like we're pointing at her and laughing, but if you look closer, you can notice two right hands pointing at her, it's almost like she was attacked by two people.

So, whoever they were, they weren’t stalking Yurika, but she feels they knew too much about her and weren’t respecting her privacy. They also apparently followed her from work one day and assaulted her, in what was presumably a giant escalation from their usual behaviour.

Now, it’s possible this is just two customers who were sadists, or Yurika told them to back off and they took it poorly… but I suspect these might have actually been two of Yurika’s coworkers.

Think about it: if Yurika’s the most popular waitress at the cafe, that means she’s probably getting the lion’s share of the tips. She’s also very close with the manager, which easily leads to suspicion of preferential treatment, and I’d be willing to bet she gets the most hours and the best hours, either because she’s the most popular and management wants to maximize profit or because the manager likes her. Plus, she’s clearly an ex-rich kid, and God knows she must have been so whiny when she started working at the cafe. All that is an easy recipe for resentment. Especially when you and your sister walk in on her ranting about how much she hates her life. You know, like this:

“I HATE IT! I HATE EVERYTHING! I'M SO TIRED OF EVERYTHING, IT'S ALL SO TIRING AND OVERWHELMING AND STRESSFUL AND- W-wait, what are you two doing here?.."

So maybe you do some digging and find out Yurika’s the daughter of a famous romance novelist and a fashion designer, and maybe you dig up some more dirt on her while you’re at it, and maybe you and your sister confront her after work one day, and maybe she doesn’t take it too well.

Now, I’m not totally sure how a workplace dispute like this escalated into Yurika torturing them to death, but I strongly suspect it had something to with her manager. You did say Yurika’s murder had something to do with some sort of underground services: my bet is it was something similar to Kei’s job, taking photos or videos of people being hurt or killed to sell to creeps. (I know videos of people being killed are called snuff films, but I don’t think what Kei does is snuff, considering his models apparently generally survive being photographed.) A video would match with the VHS effect and the TV at the end of the MV, so I’ll go with that.

Anyways, to summarize my theory: Yurika’s victims were two of her coworkers, who were jealous and resentful. After a confrontation after work one day, Yurika told her manager about it, and her manager decided to bring Yurika into her side hustle by getting her to torture the offending coworkers to death while she recorded it.

(I might be totally wrong on all this, it’s kind of an out-there theory. Only things I’m actually sure about are Yurika’s backstory prior to getting that job and that that torture scene was something snuff film-adjacent.)

So, that’s two more done! Last set is the blame duo, Riku Kuroki and Reina Himura! See you sometime next week!

yay, congrats on surviving this week!! 🎉🎉

okay, so i can definitely say that you've got most of asahi's crime right. yurika's crime is much harder to talk about though.

again, i'll try not to reveal too much, but i will talk about some stuff that can't or won't be mentioned in the voice dramas, mvs or interrogations:

the reason why asahi can remember the way his father talked, but can't remember his own birth name is because his father had almost never used it. yeah, as you've guessed, he didn't like asahi that much. and miki had almost never called him by his name either because their father really hated hearing it.

yeah, being confused or worried about how legal was the whole "adopting" situation is understandable. mrs. yano was a nice woman, but she had this "uhh, well, money can solve everything, right?" kind of mindset, so she wasn't really worried. i can't say that mr. yano was a "bad" person, he was very against this whole thing because he knew that you just can't "adopt" a random kid even if he really did have an abusive father. i've originally planned to include this in his voice drama: asahi was supposed to reveal that his birth father actually died shortly after he got adopted (he had most likely heard about it after his new parents decided to go and check how the man is doing). so yeah, even if he did have a parent "waiting" for him, that parent was now dead. (which makes miki's childhood much more sad to think about. and if you're wondering, she didn't go to an orphanage after that, she started living with her grandparents)

the puddle is metaphorical and you don't have to worry about that. and about asahi's memory loss: this kid has an imaginary friend based on his "real mother" who he had never met and he can see her and hear her voice. yeah, he's only 11 years old (12 now if you count his birthday), but he's already trying to cope with his trauma in the ways that are a bit questionable. not that i'm saying that having imaginary friends is "unhealthy", but considering how much he refuses to accept that she's not real and that he really doesn't remember a lot of things about his early childhood, i'm afraid that as he becomes older, asahi's mental health problems will only get worse.

now, about yurika's crime.

yurika is very nice and polite most of the time, but she wasn't always like that. when she was younger, she was.. um.. basically, imagine asahi's female version who is also a bit older than him. and she still acts like that sometimes, when she's not around other people and she can just say what she wants.

yes, yurika really is an ex-rich kid! that's why i've said that asahi and yurika are the "reverse" versions of each other: one of them was born in a family who had financial problems and his father also refused to take care of him until he was adopted basically kidnapped by a rich family and the other one was a rich kid since the day she was born, but got kicked out by her parents (who really did love her, but simply got tired of her behavior) who got sick of her not being able to do anything without their help.

i'm gonna be honest, you've got most of yurika's crime wrong, but i won't get into the details. i'm just gonna say that again, yurika really was more of a criminal than you'd expect her to be and she and kei are surprisingly similar when it comes to that topic, but her "job" was different from what kei did. ah, and also, it wasn't snuff films. that's what kei and eiji's father does.

[phantom-ellie]

The Man who has Never Felt Anything Chapter 3: A Hair’s Breadth from Life

Click here for CW/Full Chapter List

Sometimes my mouth is so dry, it's like I am on a baking pan, I am dough rising in the oven, I am the flour dusting the pan, turning brown and crispy, but it's extra seasoning, I suppose. Sometimes I am sand, on a sandy beach, fuck all I'd wanted was a vacation. Vacations are stressful. Who has ever had a proper, relaxing vacation?

I don't think I've ever been relaxed in my life. At least not sober.

Sometimes I feel like my head is made of smoke, and I keep my eyes closed because what if they glow? What if it's me, after all? What if I'm the monster?

But I think that's giving myself too much credit. Monsters go out with a bang, me with a whimper.

Sometimes I'm just staring out into the cabin from my bed, watching him watching me. Blackbeard, and he's the one with the head of smoke, spear pointed at my heart. What did I ever do to him? Probably nothing. That's probably why he wants me dead, because I've done nothing, not one thing my whole life. Except that one time, when I ran away. Blackbeard doesn't like cowards. Rich people. People who fall into traps. People who get stabbed.

And that's why he's glaring at me there, and yes, a head of smoke can look angry, thank you very much. Try making a head of smoke look gentle, kind, soft, like the hand I feel resting on my side. It's been caressing me up and down, like a mother for a sick child, and this I know must be the nightmare, the hallucination, because who would do that? To me?

Not Blackbeard. Because that's not what we do to pirates.

And, of course, even at running away I was useless. Didn't run very far at all. Because Mary has found me. And all she can talk about is the letter I left, as if it wasn't everything I could possibly give. I couldn't give her love, affection, a conversation. It was impossible, it was insurmountable. The letter was enough, should have been enough, and everything else I had. But she wanted my heart.

But deep down I've always known that I have no heart to give away. Not the love kind. I don't think I've ever felt it, not even once. Or if I did, it wasn't enough, it wasn't good. Maybe I'm allergic. Maybe there's a problem with digestion, maybe love enters me and slides right through and out like a thief in the night, and I've never noticed it. Not even once. That could be it. It would check out, I guess. If I were immune to love. If it's real, which I'm not sure about, I've never seen it.

And I'm really sorry to be ruining the overall vibe of this nightmare, you're scary Blackbeard, really, you are, terrifying, it's just that I've never really felt much. I'm good at panicking, that's a skill I've picked up, but fear is different. Fear is a reaction to potential loss. Losing something important, something valued.

I've never really been worried about losing something I value, because I've never had that in the first place.

And maybe admitting that is why Alma is here, and is angry with me, too. Because if I valued my children, I wouldn't have left. But I did.

Goodbye, children, you'll never see papa again.

I left them behind for my new family here, on the sea. But they didn't take to me either. I should have anticipated that.

Blackbeard is ready now. He's coming for me, here's here to grant me the liberty of death and justice for all I've hurt. And I'm scared, a little. I am. I think I feel some fear. Just a bit. I think I'm afraid of losing the future, the potential to fix what is wrong with me one day, the chance to find out if there's anyone who could love me after all. There are so many people I've never met. It could have been them. I don't want to lose it.

So that's why I scream when Blackbeard raises the spear and impales me in the stomach.

Chapter 4

[sagemoderocklee]

do you think any naruto characters would have allergies to any foods? i have so many family and friends with food allergies but almost no tv shows or stories have characters like that.

anon you have come to the right person because i have food allergies and i treat lee's reaction to alcohol as a food allergy! im allergic to alcohol when ingested as a drink but if it's cooked into foods i am typically fine--which is fine cause i was never much of a drink anyways. im also allergic to wheat and soy, and am currently struggling to figure out if--thanks to long covid--ive developed an allergy to some fish or if its something else as ive been having reactions to some things but it's not consistent

i have two fics where lee's alcohol allergy is featured--Plus One and RtS--and the reactions he has to it are just pulled from my own experiences.

i haven't thought about this for other characters per say, but one thing im sort of vaguely aware of is that allergies are more prominent in america/the states because of the way our food is processed. there's an article i read recently about gluten intolerant folks in the states not reacting/having such mild reactions to bread made in europe just because of the processing of grain there vs the states. i did not try this out when i was in ireland because i was 1. anxious and 2. didn't want it to actually work and then come back to the states and not be able to have bread

anyways you didn't ask me about MY medical/food history, im just rambling, but the reason i bring this up is i guess i wonder how common food allergies would be. obviously dangerous allergies that result in anaphylaxis aren't going to be eliminated just because of how food is processed so it's very possible that other naruto characters could have or develop allergies.

sometimes allergies develop because you eat soooo much of something, so maybe like naruto develops an allergy to something in ramen lmao

i def think the only time i do see food allergies in media is when it's being used as a contrivance to create a situation where a character almost dies because of food--sometimes it's done for comedy, sometimes it's used in a more series fashion, but i think i really have only ever seen it used in that context (recently watched My Best Friend's Exorcist which was... a film. honestly disappointing but i hear the book is very good. but the point is there was a nut allergy in that and it was, again, presented early on so that down the road when one of the characters was possessed she could essentially poison the person with teh allergy)

it would be really nice to see media shift and acknowledge the seriousness of food allergies outside of as a plot device. it would be like cool to see something where it showcases that food allergies are a disability and can make you feel very isolated. like your friends all go out to eat but you cant join them--ive had situations where ppl have picked a place for a con tradition and been like 'oh sorry i guess you can just sit there' and i think ppl don't realize just how shitty that is!

anyways rambling again! sorry anon! thank you for the question!

[diaryoftheunidropout]

DAY 237

Days pass and it seems shit doesn't get better. In fact, it might even get worse. Also, I love how I randomly remember this account.

First things first, my mom has been in the psych ward for a week now. It stops her ED from getting too out of hand, but the real problem is her body image issues. That's what's causing the ED and it REALLY doesn't feel like the ooddles of doctors, psychiatrists, therapists and so on at the hospital seem to realize, or care, somehow. They also prescribed her with new antidepressants which she's having an allergic reaction to, but they say it's "normal" and are going to increase the dose. I hate them. I hate them so much and that's why I'd never want to go to the psych ward. They do the bare fucking minimum like feeding you and cleaning your room which are things you often can't do yourself anymore when you end up there, but they don't actually help you get better so when you go back into the world you can look after yourself again. Maybe I'm too harsh on them, and I'm sorry.

For my part, things are really shitty. I haven't gotten out of bed in 6 days now. I have had a pretty bad cold for a week too, so that'll justify it. Seriously, the truth is I'm going through a really bad depressive episode. It started about a week after I quit my job (so around the 25th of September I guess) and it hasn't left me since (we're the 3 of November right now). Most of the times I got out of bed were because I was seeing my relatives (I spent a week at my grandparents's and at my mom's, I saw my godmother a couple of times). My uni "friends" have completely given up on me and have straight up stopped inviting me to all their little parties and hangouts. I decided I didn't want to celebrate my "uni best friend" 's birthday anymore and came up with an excuse. I'm really disappointed in them. Or maybe I'm disappointed in myself because I should have been the one trying to organize stuff with them. But when you know they've created a groupchat with just the three of them, for some reason, and that was about as soon as I dropped out, you know you're not really part of the team anymore. I wonder if when my "best friend" doesn't walk fast enough compared to the two other girls, they just leave her behind like they did when we hung out the 4 of us, except I'd always slow down and wait for my "best friend" so she wouldn't be alone. I wonder.

These past 6 days, I don't really know what I've been doing except binge watch the last 3 or 4 seasons of BoJack Horseman. I absolutely ADORED this show. It's beyond what words can express. I've also started to develop a strange interest for dolls, specially the new Monster High dolls and Rainbow High/Shadow High dolls. It's okay, I'm going through a little phase and it brings me some comfort. I've also started reading Macbeth since I'm seeing the play in London in December.

All I pray for is winning the lottery. Whenever I don't forget, I play. I usually don't win much, but I play and I pray. Because I don't see how else I could get out of the deep. Just thinking about getting a job makes me feel an even greater amount of crippling anxiety and depression than I already have to bear every day. I've sort of convinced myself I deserved to have this little miracle happen to me because with all the shit I've been through, there is no one that could save me, not even myself, not doctors, not family. All that could save me would be becoming a millionaire and never having to worry about finding a job and losing my freedom, all of that to barely earn anything anyway. If I were a millionaire I could finally be sure I'll always have a roof above my head.

Lately I've lost the will to do things. I don't wanna celebrate my birthday. What is there to celebrate? It's gotten so bad that, although for a few months getting ready to see BTR tour in Europe was my top one priority in life, it's something I can barely find interest in anymore. When I think I probably won't be able to afford doing the whole tour I think "whatever", even though a couple of weeks ago I would have cried at the mere thought of not doing the whole tour. Things are changing quick. I'm losing interest in everything, nothing gets me excited. The BTR side of Twitter is hella toxic, you'll get cancelled over anything by a bunch of hypocrites.

I'd like to go back to the gym but I don't have the money, nor the will anymore. I've been asking for social aids (which I have the right to) but they're not giving me anything.

I don't have much else to say. I hope next time I write here things are a little better. I doubt they'll be, but I hope, still.

See you later :)

"Mr Blue I told you that I loved you

Please believe me..."

[alifereviewjournal]

Healthy Life Style...Sigh

When you looked at social media posts, there are many people posting about the healthy lifestyles they had, achieved, or strived on. Like it is a goal or some kind of achievement. Well in 2023 I guess I have to accept that a healthy lifestyle is not something that I could choose, my body required it.

Is a healthy lifestyle like balanced eating and enough exercise easy for me? I would say it is not that hard.

Please note, balanced eating for me is basically don't restrict myself from eating anything as long as not too much or often. So yeah I eat everything, boba drink, soda, cake, noodles with thick broth, bread, meat with cheese topping, salad, fruit bowl, Doritos chips, gummy bear, ... you name it, I almost eat everything. So you can give me a huge bowl of salad, and I'll devour it gladly. Steak meat with mashed potato on the side, it will go in right away. I want it, I eat it. Maybe that's why I rarely craving for food. Exercise...it is not hard for me to ONCE I did it. The hardest part of it is getting up to do it, which I have a choice to not get up to do it. There the problem comes up. Well in my family there is a fixed time to eat and I also try the same when I was at work, so I mostly eat at the exact time every day. But exercise, nope. My family members are quite active in general, we have no housekeeper, so we do everything by ourselves, but there are no pushes on doing exercise.

I did Tae Kwon Do for 15 years as a club activity when I was still at school until I graduate with my bachelor's degree. But it stops when I am taking my master's degree and working. I know and admit that I have the best appearance and feel when I am constantly working out. Not only feel good when I saw myself in the mirror but feel fit. I have no problem falling asleep or getting up in the morning, I feel fresh. I am not easily getting sick, I have my number 2 regularly. it feels amazing and less worry. Well, I have to admit when you like what you see in the mirror and your body is fit, you have fewer things to worry about

So...I gained a size or two after the end year's holiday. Some of my clothes that are already XL size feel tight, I got breakout (plus because of the orange sauce that I accidentally eat on my end year lunch with my best friend), got allergic reactions almost every week, I struggle to fall asleep, my bowel movement is irregular, EVENTHOUGH when I already come back to my daily working staple which eats like light breakfast (salad and boiled eggs) and eat at fix time, walking around (well I am working at school so this is given), never missed my veggie or fruit on my dinner.

Then...for this year I have pointed again as the k-pop dance fitness trainer. Nope, I am not a professional trainer, I only have 1 year of experience in ballet in my elementary days, I don't make my own choreography so I just pick one from Youtube and rehearse it. I rehearse it these 2-3 days for 15-30 minutes..and guess what? My bowel is moveeee...yep, I got my regular number 2 again, my acne is getting better faster than before, and it is easier for me to fall asleep. I don't know about my clothes size, I haven't tried anything since.

So yeah, that's when I realize...I have no choice but to exercise. My body required that not to get a better appearance or increase the quality of life, but basically just to function decently. When I think I can manage my healthy body with just balanced eating, my body said "NOPE! You have to exercise...".

If one asked, how you did do 15 years of Tae Kwon Do, but can't do 2 days of 30 min exercise? Hmm, I love martial arts when I did, like Muay Thai, I don't need extra motivation to do it. But again it goes again to money. Martial Art class is expensive in Jakarta. And I did this for a small amount of money, free, or included in my tuition when I am at school and Uni.

Now I need to think about how to have an exercise routine that can fit with my work life and budget. Manage my money to have a Muay Thai class if I want it easy motivation, which is expensive in Jakarta. OR manage me to do exercise with no money, just do what Youtube have, which is harder on the motivation aspect. Since I need to leave the house at 5.30 AM and arrived home at 6 PM every workday. The weekend is indeed the only choice to exercise, and I choose to lazying around. Because Excercise is not a recreational activity for me, it is work...that apparently my body required it. I guess I have to make time and take advantage of the new responsibility of the "k-pop dance fitness instructor". For now.

Ughh...body! why you need exercise just to function well (T T)?

[tihgnari]

ꕤ 31. forget the flowers

tw: none / wc: 1.1k

from: t(hoe)ma —hey yn! sorry i cant make it :( —thankfully ayato volunteered my ticket wont be wasted and u wont watch alone lol

you knew their plan. you were there, planning alongside them without their knowing. you don't know how ayato got thoma to join in on his supposed master plan willingly, but you knew from the moment thoma messaged you about watching that new horror movie that he was going to bail last minute and have ayato go in his stead.

funny, really, that both thoma and ayato genuinely thought you liked watching horror movies when in fact, you hated them and were only listening to thoma talk, trying to segue out of the conversation lest he unintentionally gives you nightmares. with how animated the vice president was talking, he never did manage to notice the forced smile on your face as you listen to him talk about ax killers in the backseat of a car or a haunted porcelain doll with pigtails.

"yn," ayato calls.

when you turn your head to greet him with a smile, he forgets how to breathe. suddenly he's reminded that everything he's doing, fighting the mold his family wants to shape him into, was every inch worth it. 

ayato brought you flowers, just as planned. a bouquet of white roses, and you pray to whoever is listening that he doesn't come any closer or your allergy will start acting up and what a could-be date to the cinema would end up becoming a date in the emergency room. yeah. totally not romantic. but you have to suck it up and pretend you like it because you yourself were the one who lied and said you loved white roses.

 "oh," you stutter, slightly sniffling as your eyes got teary just by being in the vicinity of the damn roses. "thats… that's a nice bouquet haha."

"i was just about to meet my mom, you see. she asked me to get her some white roses for her office but when i got there, she said her secretary had already got some for her. i can't let it go to waste so… i guess, i'll just give it to you then." alas, he extends his arms and gives it to you with a proud smile on his face.

if only you weren't tearing up so hard due to the roses, maybe you'd have noticed how impeccable his acting is. if you hadn't known the real story, you'd have thought his excuse was a hundred percent real, from his facial expression to his mannerisms.

with the roses now directly by your face, the sniffles got more severe and no amount of sniffling stopped you from letting out the biggest sneeze you've ever had, making you drop the bouquet. sadly, neither you nor ayato reacted quickly enough to pick it up as a couple of kids playing tag ran between you and accidentally stepped on the dainty roses. 

while you moved to pick it up, ayato couldn't care less about the flowers and had just noticed the paleness of your skin and teary eyes due to the allergic reaction. okay. maybe telling him the exact opposite of what you like was a bad idea.

"oh no, the flowers…"

"yn, forget the flowers. are you okay? you look…"

you cough, feeling your throat tighten as you fail to keep yourself upright, unable to breathe and getting lightheaded. ayato is quick to catch you in his arms, panic-stricken face inches from yours as a hand pushes your hair away from your face. "shit! are you–are you allergic to flowers? but… but that wasn't—"

you blacked out. the last thing you remember was your thoughts of damn it; he found out.

—

white fluorescent lights scorched your eyes when you opened them as the distinct smell of antiseptic flooded your nostrils. for once, you were breathing regularly again and didn't feel like your skin was itching. as you sit up and take in your surroundings, you realize you're in a hotel… or a hospital? wait a minute, are you…

"VIP room?" you mumble, looking at the mahogany furniture and the flat screen tv mounted just across the hospital bed you were lying on. and right next to you with the blinds drawn, you see the beautiful sea of lights making up the pretty cityscape.

"oh, you're awake. and yeah, you're in one of our hospital's VIP room."

ayato appears from around the corner where the living room was, pocketing his phone as he approaches the side of your bed with big strides, causing your heart rate to speed up, hands flying everywhere as you stutter with your words. "why… why a VIP room? i can barely afford emergency as it is! you could've… could've just sent me home or…"

your voice dies as he reaches forward to grab your outstretched hand, gently bringing it back down on your lap. flustered and utterly distracted by the softness of his hands, you try to pull it out of his grip until he—

"careful. don't move your hands so much, that's where they put the iv."

you blink in disbelief, head jerking to the side, and true to what he said there was an iv attached to the back of your hand. an iv drip? seriously? for a damned allergic reaction?! how much is this going to cost me?!

ayato must've seen your thoughts written clearly on your face as he quickly starts parroting what the doctor said to him. "that's what i thought, too, when dr. nomura said they'll attach an iv on you because you fainted. so they said it was a severe allergic reaction and the iv drip is the quickest way to flush out… allo-whatever-medical-term he said."

he laughs but you don't laugh with him, the heat in your face unable to make you stare straight at his eyes. ayato was still holding your hand.

"oh, sorry…"

he lets it go, and some part of you wish he didn't.

ayato clears his throat. "don't worry! dr. nomura said you'll be back to good condition after you empty the iv drip. and then we can go on our date—I MEAN, DAY! haha… i meant day…"

"right… yeah, i get it." you bite your lip hard and force your heart to calm down. abort mission! foul! FOUL! that was a direct attack! thank god there was no heart monitor attached to you or it would've all been for nothing.

"i heard there'll be a boat ride a little after sundown. they say there'll be fireworks, too. would you like to come with me? it's the least i can do, considering it's my fault for bringing the roses and we had to miss our movie."

you've never felt this guilty in your entire life. but because of that strong feeling of guilt, you suck it up, smile at ayato, and say yes despite having the worst case of motion sickness known to man.

LOWKEY » previous : masterlist : next

a kamisato ayato social media au

summary — it was only recently you found out kamisato ayaka was, in fact, not an only child after all! seeing ayato for the first time gave you the severest case of the butterflies but according to ayaka, he’s off limits, especially to you as her most treasured friend. well, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt, right?

notes — ayato paid for the hospital bills LMAO

🏷 i. @rinrinchin @nejibot @mich-cola @viiolettee @katsumikumo @kaz3yo @starryeyedkoko @xingqiusliegee @selenshinitai @boxdisappeared @lovelyycherries @ferumie @love6cks @kiyowoir @luvvmeilin @blackberri-jelli @moonlightbqe @kazooms @tricethecharm @lynnforever @kaedear @xiaoisahawtie @crowbird @apotatouwu @xinii @euryrue @aequha​@nuttytani @plinkuro @choco-rei @aixaingela @milesluvrrad @windasteriaa @cherrytomato2 @zannivrs @k4miyato @eishtar @wccycc @ceylestia @sweet-almonds @ayatobro @animewolflover278 @queenaveryrules @veyu002 @ittakestw0totango @ventis-dandelion @adeptusx @x-xxiaos @loveyoutothestars @ssalamanderr

[thebibliosphere]

So I’m a bit of a clean freak, it happens when you’ve got an allergic autoimmune problem and dust exposure can send you into anaphylaxis.

I’ve got a stronk robot daughter to help me keep on top of things, and a fancy ass Dyson that a family member gifted to us when we first moved in. Except I’ve never been all that impressed with the Dyson. For the price tag it should be able to sing and dance while also keeping my floors and upholstery free of dust and dust mites. But instead all I get is an asthma attack and hives from using it.

So I decided to buy a new vacuum cleaner with a hepa filter that I could move around easily for the jobs Oppy (that’s the robot daughter) couldn’t do. I honestly wasn’t expecting much for something half the price of a Dyson, in fact I was kinda worried I was throwing my money away.

I am no longer worried.

Id: a picture of a clear vacuum container with a mound of dust in it.

That right there? That’s the dust from just the arm of the couch that the new vacuum extracted using the upholstery brush. And that’s AFTER it’s been vacuumed by the Dyson. And I vacuum this couch A LOT.

So yeah, that might explain why sitting in this couch makes me itchy. Cause the Dyson I’ve been using to clean it apparently isn’t worth shit. Good to know. I’m off to take an antihistamine now and clean my whole house. See you on the other side.

Edit: the new model is a cordless Tineco A11 hero. I can’t speak to the longevity of it as I’ve literally only had it an hour, but it feels sturdy and is lightweight enough I was able to lift it over my head for short periods of time to get the curtains done. It also keeps pulling up giant dust balls from the rugs and upholstery, despite the fact that I literally vacuumed last night with the wired Dyson. So, so far I’m impressed with the amount of power it offers, especially for being cordless. Not gonna lie, kinda shook right now. I thought I was on top of my dust control game but maybe all this time my “unknown” reactions have been dust exposure I didn’t even realize was dust cause I was trusting the Dyson to work. Guess not though.

And just cause people always ask when I post products, no nothing here is sponsored. If it were I’d be required by law to tell you. This is just me hugging my new vacuum because it might actually help my breathing issues. God I hope so.

[anonymous-swiftie]

If you are on twitter, please retweet this:

https://twitter.com/ASwiftie00/status/1334245577933148164?s=19

Dear #Swifties,

I'm new on tumblr, and I really don't know how to use it.

I know you are the best supporters of the music industry and I'm here to ask your help.

I'm fighting with a crippling depression, that due this covid situation just got worse.

I'm at my lowest, I truly don't know if I will make it through this time.

I always dreamed to talk to Taylor, since I was a teenager. She is the only one that make me feel like I do fit in this world.

I've created this account because I know she is very active here, and I'm trying to reach her with this part of my story.

You can read everything below.

I didn't write any personal information because I don't want this to be seen by my family or somebody that can recognise me.

I don't want upset anyone.

I know that everyone hope to meet or chat with her, and so you are probably wondering why you have to share this here.

You're totally right, maybe it's a stupid idea to ask you this, but I haven't anything left in my pocket to fight this situation, and you're my only hope right now.

Thank you.

#taylor #swift

*******************************************

Dear Taylor,

I keep writing and deleting this, over and over again.

I feel so dumb to write my personal story here, but this truly is my last chance to feel better and try to overcome this giant monster called depression.

I genuinly don't know if I can make it through this year. It's the worst period of my entire life and i don't even know if it's worth living this hell anymore.

I know you have millions of supporters (that probably write you every single day, and they are all better fans than I am, that's for sure) but I know that you proved, time after time, to be so down to earth and to use your time to read your fans messages.. so, in this moment, I'm just trying to share a part of my story with you.

You are the one that make feel understood, since I was like 13teen.

I'm so sorry if my English isn't very good but I'll do my best.

I'm not very active on social media , because I'm very shy when I have to talk about myself.. but If this could work, I must do it.

I will try to send a letter, If I can find the strength to mark this feeling on paper.

**IF I'M WRITING TO SOMEBODY FROM HER STAFF, PLEASE JUST LET THIS MESSAGE REACH TAYLOR**

I'll try now to resume, because I don't want to bother you too much.

This has been a crazy year so far, and the all the time I spent by myself during the lockdown didn't help at all.

This situation brought me back to childhood.

I spent a lot of my days back and forth in hospitals, due to my allergies.

I had to wear a mask all the time I wanted to go outside to avoid severe allergic reaction (that's why this Covid thing awakened some hurting memories)

I didn't have real friends back then, 'cause I've spent most of the summers at home, watching other kids playing around, from my window, or from the windows of my classroom.

It was so hard to make new friends, because the only thing that other kids saw was my mask.

I was the masked kid.

I was the strange kid.

I couldn't play with them.

Everytime I tried to play with them, the only thing I heard was "oh you are ill , I don't wanna be like you so stay away".

This situation made me start to write things in my personal diary.

I wrote small sentences, as a kid, and that was the only thing I could do alone inside an empty classroom during all summer.

This situation continued  for many years.

I wasn't the cool kid before, I wasn't the cool guy after.

The only things that let me enjoy those days were writing and listening to your songs.

I started to listen to your music thanks to my English teacher. She was a fan of folk and country music and she gave me a pic in which you were singing near a lake (I still have that photo somewhere, I strongly remember the white banner with your name written in red on it) and told me to listen to the cd she gave me that day.

I immediately fell in love (I think I still have a crush on you, I'm sorry).

I loved your album. I loved your voice. I loved the lyrics.

I remember having a "test" in school: each one of the class had to write their favourite lyrics and let the others guess the song.

If the someone guessed It, We could play the cd.

I chose Love Story and I translated it in Italian.

The class guessed the song, and I played it.

After the lunch break I went back to my desk and I saw some bullies that were breaking my cd-album and they started to laugh at me because I loved your music an I loved writing poems.

I was a boy so I was a loser because I enjoyed those things.

That felt terrible, but I continued to love your songs even more .

Those were my inspiration to write and to study english.

I felt so good when I listened to your album and this still happens.

Then I went to a private high-school.

Nothing changed, I still was the nerd guy that always got good grades and I have to say that the first year was quite good, but the second year was the start of the apocalypse.

I choose that school because two girls that I knew from childhood went there.

One of the cool new guys started to spread a fake "news" about me.

He said to everyone that I was the boyfriend of one of the two girls that I mentioned before.

So he was the cool guy and one of the girls believed him and told me to f*** myself.

The other girl was her best friend, so you could imagine by what happened next.

After 14 year spent together, I was nobody.

I didn't have "friends" in that class anymore.

I didn't say hello to anybody for 4 years, and nobody would say anything to me.

Nobody to talked with me.

That's great when you're a teenager.

I hated to wake up every morning.

I had an eating disorder, I lost like 22pounds in less than a month. Got hospitalized twice. I kept vomiting for 3 years, every single morning before school.

During that time I only talked with one of my cousins, who lived like 2 hours by car from me.

He was older than me but he always tried to help.

He knew that I loved to write poems so he started to give me guitar lessons.

I made it through a lot of things thanks to him.

I'm sorry, It's hard for me to write this part of the story.

I still get emotional when I think about this.

On the 10TH of December 2013 (some days after his birthday) we received a phone call from his mother: She warned us that he didn't return home after the last working shift.

I wrote a message to him like 3 hours prior to that phone call.

Never had the opportunity to get a reply again.

This year is the seventh year that he is missing.

That destroyed me.

I felt empty.

I felt like nothing couldn't help me.

I still feel that everytime I care about someone in my life, it will disappear someday.

This have happened several other times.

You know when ignorants say that men don't cry, is real bullshit. Men cry. I cried a lot.

I wrote so many poems , lyrics, thoughts in that period of time, that I destroyed my hands.

That was the only way to close my eyes and let me reach another reality because the real one was way too much for me.

Be a sensible man in this world is somehow a curse.

All these things made me afraid  even to hug someone 'cause I feel I'm too ugly or just to scared to be refused.

I will stop here my story, but there's so much more to tell.

I make it through all of these things and memories because I keep dreaming that one day I could meet you and we could talk together.

Dreaming about the fact I could spend a day with you made me find the power to battle my depression.

I'm 25 now and this year I'm not dreaming anymore.

I was going to start again university, I wanted to get a degree in marketing and have the chance to live in the us.

For years I believed that I would make it and hopefully be part of your marketing team.

I'm so stupid. All these years I kept dreaming to avoid pain.

I wanted to pursue my passion and continue to write lyrics but all I was doing was putting myself in unrealistic realities.

This covid situation made everything clear.

When everyone had someone to facetime (or video call) I was alone.

When everyone had someone asking them "how are you?" I only had myself looking in the mirror saying: "Will I ever feel better?"

I've never been the one for anybody, and I think I'll never be.

I won't be the one among all your fans to realize his dream.

Nobody likes me, and I'm exposing myself once again just because I want the opportunity to smile at something that could happen to me.

I'm tired to smile only for others best moments.

I've always seen the sun through a window.

I want to feel happy.

I want to burn my face with the sun.

I'm so sick of hiding my pain,

sick to cry when I'm alone in my car before going to work,

sick to let my eyes rain on my pillow every night.

I'm sick to say to my mother that I'm fine, just because I don't want to make her feel bad.

It's not her fault.

She is battling with a degenerative autoimmune disease, why I should put other weight on her shoulders?

I didn't give up to my weakness before because I don't want to hurt her.

I always say to her that soon she will feel better, that's why your song It's stuck in my head.

But when she won't be here anymore, how I can go through all of that?

I don't even know if will ever get better for me.

Will this pain ever stop?

Sometimes it's so hard to live and so easy to die.

Hope that my dream to spend some time with you can become true.

Thank you for everything, you gave me the strength to go on for many years.. But this time is so hard to put on my armor and continue this battle.

But is this even worth if thy I try to surround myself with people and I always feel lonely?

D.

@taylorswift @taylornation @jackleopards-thedolphinclub

[certifiablecatlady]

Medical/Life Update

Sup duders so I haven't posted a ton of personal info here in awhile but the past 6 months have been wild. Starting in December 2021 I've had a fluctuating rash on my arms, legs, and trunk that at first I thought was an allergic reaction, hence my post about having the worst "hives" ever on Christmas. After an emergency room trip on New Years Eve and month of phone tag I finally got referred to a rheumatologist in February and diagnosed with Henoch-Schonlein Purpura (HSP) also known as IgA vasculitis. Which is an autoimmune disease more common in children but super rare in adults where the blood vessels in your skin and internal organs/joints become inflamed. Usually it goes away in a few months and leaves no lasting effects which is good.

Except now it's June and it hasn't gone away. In fact, at my last rheumatology appointment 2 weeks ago they said my inflammation markers in my blood have started going up again instead of down so we may need to move on to more intense treatment. For the past few months I've been taking a steroid (prednisone) and an immunosuppressant (mycophenolate) to hopefully counteract my dumb immune system, which has made my flare ups less intense than they were in Dec-Feb pre treatment. But even as they've increased the immunosuppressant my skin has not been totally clear in over six months and every time I so much as step outside my apartment, walk around too much, or wear tight clothing I have massive flare ups. The rash itself is not painful but with friction around my feet and thighs it starts to burn and itch which is no fun at all. And unfortunately having this disease for this long could be bad news for the rest of my organs, which thankfully so far have shown up fine in tests.

So basically at my last rheumatology appointment I was put on the max dose of the mycophenolate with the idea that if this doesn't work we will have to move on to different treatment. There are two options if this happens: a similar immunosuppressant called methotrexate that would basically work like the mycophenolate but maybe magically would do better, or a strong iv infusion called rituximab. Now I have been through my share of weird medical shit but the one thing that still terrifies me is an iv. One of the worst experiences of my life was being hospitalized for a week stuck to an iv in 2012 and the whole time it felt like my arm was being broken. I've always been afraid of needles and in fact my first blood draw at the rheumatologist in Feb I fainted and threw up so now I'm famous with the phlebotomists. So just hearing iv I started to panic a little.

Then the doctor went on to describe the procedure being similar to chemotherapy/biotherapy and included the fun fact of a small risk of deadly anaphylactic shock. I ended up having a full panic attack and sitting on the floor of the office next to an open window while my lovely boyfriend fanned me and got me to drink some water. The doctor kept apologizing for freaking me out but I was just apologizing back like "I have an anxiety disorder it's fine not your fault".

So yeah I go back in on July 12th to see how the max dose and potential last hurrah of my og immunosuppressant works out and meanwhile I am firmly camped in my apartment trying desperately to avoid any flare triggers. I have a spreadsheet now where I rate the rash on each area of my body cause ya girl loves data. My boyfriend Sam has been absolutely wonderful taking care of me throughout this, running urine samples back and forth to the hospital when they kept scheduling my appointments a month apart exactly in line with my period. I am so glad this happened after we moved in together rather than before so I don't have to do this alone or move back in with my parents. My family has tried to understand what's going on but I think only recently started seeing the severity. They've at least stopped trying to guilt me into coming over. Being immunocompromised during a pandemic wasn't enough for them I guess, but minimizing flares so I don't have to do hours of ivs worked. Now we wait.