#ayato kamisato imagines

[yuellii]

flawless night, forevermore

feat. ayato, baizhu, alhaitham, childe, kaveh, raiden ei ( separate )

𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 they are so obviously in love with you

( or, in which i tie them to a taylor song i’ve been crazing over, but you don’t have to know the songs to read / understand )

note. reader’s gender unspecified, no other warnings

> part one / part two ( more characters )

KAMISATO AYATO. lover

His lips curled up with a fathomless fondness he did not even notice about himself. His ticklish gaze, his admiring eyes, his comforting silence—such a poor, poor man drowning in his hopelessness, falling love struck into the night.

Even atop the dewy grass that stained his carefully tailored clothes, he paid no mind to the mess as he preferred to hear you talk instead. The intelligence of a Kamisato was long forgone in the melody of your voice, and perhaps you had strum his heartstrings too much to the point he loses his senses. He forgets a lot of things about himself when he’s with you, perhaps at one point, even his own name.

Kamisato, the name that ties him to a lifetime of formality and not a single night of rest. A dreary lifetime that does not allow him to learn the wonders of love. But oh, how he loves you.

“I’ve always wanted one of those cute little tea tables,” you muttered into the cool winds under the glowing moon. Your finger absentmindedly traced an oval into the air, a motion that had his head following your invisible drawing. “We can sit together in the mornings and have tea before work.”

“Then we’ll get one,” Ayato affirmed. He failed to notice how his own grin had widened, simply as an automatic reaction from seeing your pleased smile at his response. “Little cushions for us to sit in, too,” he added on. “You know those round ones? We can have them in our favorite colors.”

Look at him, blushing over silly cushions.

There’s a dazzling haze in his eyes when he’s like this. It’s a spark that never runs out once ignited, for he has a history of rambling when he’s with you. “There is this porcelain tea set we can get, which has a pattern I know you’ll like,” he’ll say, further jumping to “And it comes in a set of four—we can always invite Ayaka and Thoma over to drink with us.” He’ll go on and on like this, fantasizing of a life where you lived together, happily ever after.

He’s imagined this for eons in his head. Such innocent-presenting ideas and remarks, but it’s obvious in the way he talks so fast. It’s ridiculously evident the more excited he gets as the night stretches on, that he’s been daydreaming of the moment you move in with him, so he may love you every day.

All he asks is to be forever yours, for as long as time permits.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

BAIZHU. sparks fly

It almost never rained in Liyue.

But his words were such a booming thunderstorm that no water droplet could ever compare, even amidst this cold, grey afternoon. And only when he finally blew you away like a thin stack of cards, did he feel a sharp sense of emptiness at the sight of you running off into the pouring rain.

Baizhu admitted that you were a burden to him. Boring, unintelligent, annoying—that you were a hindrance to be around. You were only a distraction to Qiqi, and more importantly, a bothersome presence to him.

It took all his willpower just to spit such venom from his tongue straight to your face—all his might just to convince you that seeing him is a bad idea. And yet, you still called him a liar.

“You mean none of those words,” you sharply inhaled via short, speechless breaths. He could tell you were breaking down from his hateful speech, but to his guilt, it was exactly what he wanted to see from you. “You’re just trying to drive me away again,” you spat out. You were trying to convince yourself: that fact alone was clear to him. But the longer he stayed quiet despite biting back the truth—biting back that he has fallen so immensely deep in love with you—you began to doubt yourself.

But the moment he watched your figure break down past this storm, he immediately crumbled with a sense of guilt much stronger than any curse he has ever wished upon himself.

Perhaps he was too harsh on you. Archons, perhaps he was too mean—this was exactly why he didn’t deserve you. You deserved better than such a sick, lowly man who could not even live for himself, instead binding his life to save others instead.

But still, even after all his own revelations and realization of his nonexistent self worth…

He was still a greedy, selfish man.

And that selfishness had him running right out of his door and into the pouring rain, not caring at how the sudden cold nipped and picked at his skin, or how the winds beat at his frail body. Not even the Archons could halt such a starvation for salvation—it was the only spark he had left to chase.

In this cold, dreary life—in this cold, dreary day alone—you still shone like the sun under the dim streetlights of Liyue upon this pale grey sky. His body still eased the moment you caught his eye, almost as if your gaze alone had suddenly removed every drop of sickness he self-injected into his own bloodstream, or as if you were the cure he was looking for all his life.

Such selfishness once again had his body fighting from collapsing when he desperately fell into your arms that held him so dearly. And the greed of mankind only snapped when found his lips settled so hopelessly against yours, clinging onto your kiss as if he would die tonight.

Truly, maybe he would. But for now, in your embrace, he feels the strongest he’s ever been since he sold his soul.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

ALHAITHAM. enchanted

Archons, he hated these events, though he had no choice but to attend. No one could ever allow the Acting Grand Sage, even if he held so much spite, to escape the demeaning eyes of Sumerean publicity.

Alhaitham held himself as an independent soul. But this formalwear, this clanging of champagne glasses, this suffocating air—were definitely not so independent nor free.

This hall of aspiring young scholars and old men, all in one exhibit for the sake of research and networking. Academics is what they acclaim, but the Acting Grand Sage may be too thick of a personality for them (if he had one at all). But the only thing keeping his eyes open from boredom, quite surprisingly a person, was you.

You, who looked young compared to these much older alumni and long-time scholars. And it was truly you, out of the many faces in this room, who he could not name.

Your eyes met from across the room. Such a sliver of a chance—his eyes whispered a curious glance from the opposite wall among this dreary sea of scholars. There was a spark graced by the Electro Archon, perhaps; or maybe even a gush of wind from the God of Anemo. But every sense of composure was lost when his body moved on its own, walking himself closer and closer just to meet you.

It begins with hello; it always does. It continues with quick remarks, with “I’ve never seen you before,” and with “Have we met?” And soon enough, he feels like he’s in school again. He feels a flutter he has not known in years, an urge to talk quicker than he can think. The crinkle at the corner of your eyes has him immersed in amazement. The sole fact that you can crack a smile at him; a smile that wasn’t fake politeness like all these scholars.

For some reason unbeknownst to him, that expression of yours alone had his feet glued to the floor, like you’ve trapped him in such an engaging conversation he desperately could not let go. It was a forcibly dreadful night—you turned it flawlessly enchanting in a way that you read to him like a book, all in which he could not put you down once he begins.

And once the event ends, and he is forced to leave you so soon, he watches you walk away with an expression that he himself could not even read.

Wonderstuck.

He would never notice the light tint on his face, staining his cheeks all the way home.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

CHILDE. cruel summer

Left foot, right foot, tiptoe, right foot—hold the counter, hold the wall, hold the rail all the way up the steps… He’s got this.

One step down the hall, another foot down, a third one until he finds a steady rhythm. The room is hazy, the walls are spinning. His head hurts and he feels like a baby taking his first steps, so helpless and unsteady that he almost wants to cry again from exasperated frustration alone. Why was this so hard? Did he really hate himself so much, that he would stagger his way home from the bar like this?

One hand on the door, turn the knob, and—

Ah. He dropped his keys so loudly on the floor.

You woke up with a start from the bedside, immediately turning to him wide-eyed in both starling surprise from the noise, and more importantly, concern. He didn’t mean to wake you. He hated feeling guilty, but it was the exact feeling that crept up his spine once he saw the devastated look on your face. Frenzied eyes and dark circles—clearly you had stayed up just to wait for him, too.

“Ajax,” you voiced—a tone full of worry and heavy exhaustion, God, he felt so horrible. “Oh, Ajax, come here.”

As much as he didn’t like it when you cared for him like this, he was not immune to the sounds of your calling. His shaky legs carried him immediately, as if the alcohol in his system was pulling him towards you, too. “I’m fine,” he barely stuttered out. It was a claim he had to make immediately, a sign he was desperate to reassure you.

Your eyes grew heavier, though he did not know if they were lidded from concern or from sleepiness. Either way, he practically melted from the touch of your palms resting against his cheeks. So warm, but a much more pleasant warmth than the burning summer air that he just walked in, all the way home with a liquor-dazed mind.

“Have you been crying…?” Ah, and that was why your eyes were narrow—they were squinting at the sorry stains of tears that lined his cheeks. He forgot to wipe them, it seemed. It was almost laughable.

“No, just sweat from the heat.”

Crying over you… He’d never let you know that. To cry, to bleed, to die—you would never be the first person he tells.

“You reek of liquor…” Quite disgustingly so, he thinks. And yet, you still held his face so fondly, moving his head in such a gentle manner as you swiped his tear stains with the pads of your thumbs.

He stayed silent. He had no answer to this one.

“I love you,” he mutters, though it’s a confession nevertheless. And he says it so sadly—so miserably that you couldn’t help but sigh. He hates it, too. He hates it when you sigh. Because when you sigh, it means you’ll just let it go; No matter how many lies he tells, or how many times he cries, or how many secrets he keeps, you’ll still accept him like always.

“I love you, too.” And that was the worst line he’s ever heard.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

KAVEH. foolish ones

“Oh, woe is me…” Loves me, loves me not, loves me… “Did you happen to see anything in the mailbox?”

His roommate stared. “Go check it yourself.”

Kaveh heavily sighed. He couldn’t; He physically could not bear to do it. It’s not that he was lazy to get up, no. The real issue was the genuine grief he would feel when he opened the mailbox, only to see nothing inside. No special gifts, no romantic letters, and absolutely no confessions of love signed with your name.

It was embarrassing, really. To feel this dramatic and obsessed with words of admiration from you—oh, especially when Alhaitham found out about this whole lovesick ordeal. But he could not help his mind from just imagining it: the reflection of himself in your eyes as you finally confess your feelings of passion and love for him (feelings that didn’t exist, feelings he merely imagined you having, all so pathetically).

But he’s so weird, and he’s so terrible. To imagine a fabled life with you when you probably did not think about him this same way. How foolish. Did you daydream about him like he daydreamed about you every night before he slept? Did you think about him like he thought about you every time he sees your favorite color in the passing? Did you wait at your mailbox like he waited for any letters from you? No. No, you didn’t.

And he’s cried, quite humiliatingly. He’s cried that the perfect life he could picture himself having with you at his side would never be a reality. He’s cried a downpour of tears, simply because he allowed himself to be so caught up in a delusion that was so sick of him to conjure up.

“Are you free for dinner tonight?”

“So sorry Kaveh, I already have plans…”

Plans with someone else. No wonder you hadn’t written him any messages, or contacted him in a while. That… was not the scenes he had in his head. His imaginations, his hopes, his dreams—they did not have someone else in them. For someone he was so hopelessly in love with, he felt so much hurt. A foolish lesson to be learned by a foolish romantic.

In the end, he’d just be talking himself to sleep again. He’d just smile at the sight of you flourishing. Without him, your world will go on turning. A world full of reciprocated love and devotion, one that he would never know.

⎯ ✧ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

RAIDEN EI. you belong with me

The Raiden Shogun was self-destructive. No more than a few people knew of such a fact, but she was certainly one of them.

Because if she cared for her own wellbeing, truly, then she would not fall for selfish desires. Nor, would she be here now, sitting next to you outside a sliding screen in her private gardens of Tenshukaku, sipping your favorite tea and hearing your sweet voice ramble about something so unpleasant to her ears. If she prioritized her own emotions, then maybe she’d be living in blissful ignorance right now instead of listening to your woes over a lover… A lover that was not her.

“And then, she teases me,” you complained, though it was clear you hated it. You didn’t like whining about your partner, which was a good thing—but it made Ei feel sick, because it meant you really loved that woman. “I know she does that all the time, and I just need to get used to it,” you continued, “but sometimes, it gets too much, and she still doesn’t stop.”

But I wouldn’t do that to you, the archon thinks to herself. And suddenly, the tea isn’t as appetizing anymore, because her own words felt drilled onto her tongue, forever forbidden to speak aloud.

“Miko… Has always been like that,” Ei quietly admits instead. She doesn’t want to insult your lover, for that same person was also her own friend. She wanted to be supportive, but it was impossible when she was so in love with you, that she spent every second of each passing day just wishing she was in Miko’s place instead.

“Yeah… But—still, I mean…” You sighed, coming to a loss for words to describe the pink haired shrine maiden. “Is it really so hard to ask just for her to understand how I’m feeling…?” you whined in what seemed like genuine distress. Your face sunk into your hands, and it took all of Ei’s willpower just to keep her respective distance from a romantically taken friend.

But I understand how you feel, Ei once again thinks. She feels so dirty of a friend for comparing herself like this. I understand you better than she will ever.

“Ei…” you muttered. She almost chokes from the way you say her name. “What should I do…?”

Be with me, instead. “Don’t cry over something, or someone, you cannot control. It’s possible your personalities are just not fit for each other, you know.”

“But I love her, Ei…”

Ouch.

She clears her throat, recovering from sharp breath of air she just inhaled. A part of her just broke in that moment, and it was so obvious, too—her expression quickly changed, her body became stiff, her balance suddenly shifted, and yet…

You noticed none of it. Your head was too clouded over love for another woman that was not her; So clouded, in fact, you did not notice the way Ei almost began to tremble. The misery you carried only crafted tenfold for the archon, eternally unbeknownst to you.

But you don’t belong to her, anyways. So why was she crying?

[voiths]

☾ Genshin Characters and their kinks ☽

𑁍 Warnings: Pain, Biting, Crying, NSFW content𑁍

𑁍 Characters featured: Arataki Itto, Yae Miko, Kamisato Ayato, Childe 𑁍

❥Arataki Itto

Size kink: Loves the way his big hands wrap around ur small waist or when you whine out that he's too big seeing a small bulge form in your stomach from his dick. He'll push it deeper inside of you and make you take it. "You can take it my love you have no choice."

Biting/Marking kink: Wether it is biting ur shoulder when he’s pounding into you from behind, leaving hickeys on your thighs or feeling your nails scratch along his back when he pushes deep into u he loves it

❥ Yae Miko

Humiliation: She will do everything to see you blush in embarrassment. She’ll make you wear a collar with an extremely revealing kimono and have you kneel and crawl next to her as she does duties around the shrine because she loves seeing how desperate and embarrassed u get

Orgasm Control: Wether it is overstimulation good you to the point where you don’t know if you’re begging her to stop or denying your orgasm multiple times for hours on end just to have you begging her to finally let you cum. She loves seeing you beg with tears in your eyes

❥ Kamisato Ayato

Degradation : Loves to call you the most vile things. Calling you his little cum slut while you're kneeling on the ground in front of him with your hands tied behind your back. "Oh how pathetic you look begging for my cock. Do you need it so badly slut?"

Pain play: He is a big sadist. (Of course he always make sure to reassure that it's not too much for you.) If you dont give him a reason to he will find a reason himself to punish you for just so he can spank you until your ass is burning red and there are tears in your eyes. Pulling your hair while he's pounding into you from behind feeling the strain on your head making you even more aware of all the pleasure you're feeling.

❥ Childe

Riding: Loves having you sit on his lap bouncing up and down on his dick. But get too cocky and dominant and he will grab your hips and use his strength to set the pace and pull you down on his dick not even giving you a chance to resist. Maybe even will tie your arms behind your back while making you ride him if you've been teasing him.

Face riding: Dont you dare try to only hover over his face and not sit down fully. He will notice in less than a second and pull you down on his face. Feeling you squirm after already having cum twice makes him want to pull you down even further on his face just so he can hear your overstimulated noises while he is enjoying eating you out.

Masterlist

[dark-night-hero]

Imagine sitting next to each other a meter away from each other as the two of you surrounded with nothing but silence as you two watch as dawn came upon he horizon.

"Have you ever wonder?"

"Wonder about what?"

"What we could have been if you aren't the Head of the Kamisato Clan."

Imagine the return of silence. Only the sound of the breeze came upon that makes you look away from the horizon into the guy right beside you. He was always like that. So close yet so far away. Someone within reach but you do not dare reach out.

Imagine the way you turn to look at the horizon, the sun was starting to emerge, painting the endless sea into warm colors as the day starts.

"I used to think about it alot. But I don't do that nowadays. There is no used thinking about the what ifs."

"I see." You chuckle.

"The sun is rising. I need to get going now, My lord"

Imagine as you were about to stand up, a hand grab your wirst. It was Kamisato Ayato looking at you, holding you tightly yet gently. As if if you were to brush his hands off away from yours, he would not hesitate to let go. Letting you know how easily he could and have already let you go.

"Anything else, My lord?"

"Can you stay...? Until the sun rises... Just until the sun rises..."

"... You're cruel until the very end... aren't you?" You spoke, not missing the pained look in his eyes that disappeared in a blink on an eye.

"Fine, just until the sun rises."

Imagine, they say that sun rises was a sign of new beginning, a new day. Perhaps it was right, painfully right as the two of you has now gone through different ways.

Imagine, looking at the sun that has rise from the horizon, a small, beautiful yet painful smile makes it's way on your lips as you stood up. Brushing off the invisible dirty on your clothes, you smoothen it out before turning your back on the man you loved, still love.

"(First name). Write me a letter once you arrived... okay?" Why does it sound like he was about to cry?

"...I.." With a deep breath and a clear of throat as you tried to hold on into every bit of your emotions.

"It's quite early, but congratulations on your marriage soon to happened, My lord."

Imagine, if only you looked back. If only you had the courage to look back. You would have seen how lonely he have become upon your departure. You would have seen how he was begging of you to stay as selfish as it may have seen. Because let's face it. You are whom he loves, but not the one he needed for the sake of his Clan.

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2023°

: wtf happened? I should have just gone to sleep.

[moonsaver]

Ayato is the most efficient student council member you've met.

Or really.. he's the only student council member you've met.

Thoma was the one who introduced you both to each other. He always borrowed your staplers, pencils, highlighters, post-it notes, and ran off in a hurry. At some point, he decided it was only fair he introduced who he borrowed them for.

Ayato was polite, if not.. suspiciously so. The council room was empty for the most part, the air conditioning keeping it cool and almost making you sleepy. The piles of paper you'd seen beside Ayato's right hand seemed to be miraculously halved by the time Thoma placed the teacups, his hand working at an incredibly fast pace, but his handwriting beautiful nonetheless.

And he continued to be polite after school. While leaving he would nod at you, smiling in acknowledgement and offers to walk you home from time to time, since both of you were going in the same direction. His work was wrapped up fairly early that day too, so for once, he was able to leave at the same time most other students did.

And that was how you found out he lives in the same neighborhood as you. A few blocks away but.. still quite close.

He made an effort to make conversation, mentioning his sister who was in the same grade as you, the general colors of highlighters he prefers, flavors of boba he'd tried, and your own preferences. Eventually you two had to split off into your own directions.

You didn't expect the walks to become so frequent, however.

Somehow, despite the Student Council being almost desperately understaffed and overworked, he always managed to complete his work on time, right before school ended. You saw him more and more often, almost every day of the week, standing at the gate.

It didn't help that Thoma was practically thrown under the bus with any leftover, menial tasks Ayato decided to generously lend over to him, meaning you and Ayato were the only ones walking back home. It also didn't help that Ayato seemed desperate to get closer, walking so close that his shoulder or elbow constantly grazed yours, his hand would gently hold your elbow to guide you along, his eyes would linger far too long on your face.

At some point, he started keeping you around in the council room if he was unable to finish his work. Sometimes the pile would be too burdensome for Thoma alone. He would gently push you down into the chair by a firm grip on your shoulder, his cool breath fanning the back of your head as he slightly leans down to tell you to relax. It's just him. You should also catch up on your homework. Besides, isn't this arrangement better? If you have any questions, just ask him. Hm? Thoma? Well.. he's running that errand from yesterday, time runs so fast! You can't blame him. Unfortunately, time just couldn't go any faster for you. The quiet, tense ticking of the clock in the room only agitated you further, as you were kept there for longer and longer, almost hours after school ended.

Ayato always promised you he would compensate for it.

As for now, let him walk you back home. There's been thieves running rampant in these parts, so let him ensure your safety. Oh, you must not have finished your homework either, right? How about he stay for another hour or so to help you? It's alright your parents aren't home – even better, really. It's quite dangerous coming home alone. It's always better to have company.

The smile he gave you finally reached his eyes for once, a charming crinkle right under it, drawing your attention to the small mole.

[tihgnari]

ꕤ 50. i think i ruined your PJs (ღ)

tw: none! :') / wc: 1.7k

you stare at your phonescreen, watching it vibrate on the kitchen counter. your hands sweat, and your heart races, as you hesitate to answer his call, contemplating about what to say.

a door slams and thoma appears in front of you in an instant. paper bags of fast food left on the dining table. "what are you doing?" he says, eyeing the phone before staring back at you. "answer it al—"

the phone stops ringing, ayato's caller ID disappears, and it returns to your lock screen. the panic you feel is indescribable, and you defeatedly think of calling him back and saying sorry for being unable to answer his call the first time.

ayaka lets out a pained groan. "you both are absolutely impossible! why didn't you answer it?!"

"i was nervous! i don't know what to say—"

"just answer it already!" thoma exclaims with a frustrated expression similar to ayaka's.

you wanted to pull your hair. why can't you just woman up and answer it?! you grab your phone off the counter, irritated at yourself, as you snap back at thoma.

"well, i can't anymore. it stopped ringing!"

as if on cue, the phone lights up, vibrating in your hands as your heart drops once again at the sight of ayato's caller ID. thoma audibly gasps and hurriedly rounds the kitchen counter to grab your shoulders. "answer it! now!"

"alright!" you push his hands away before clearing your throat, trying to level your voice so he won't find out that you were 100% freaking out at his sudden call.

"hello?" you speak into the phone. after a few seconds, when no one answers, you hesitantly say. "…ayato?"

no one is speaking on the other end, you can't even detect faint breathing. you pull the phone away from your ear, checking to see if the call is still ongoing, and the increasing seconds displayed on your lock screen confirm that it is. why isn't he speaking? should i not have answered?

faintly, you hear thoma and ayaka's enthusiastic "what's he saying?" behind you, but you stay silent, waiting for him. you open your mouth, wanting to address the person on the other line once again, when—

"hey."

his voice sounds defeated as if he's been crying for hours. you knew he wasn't in a good state right now from the voice alone.

your cheeks heat up, and you grip the phone harder. "hey," you answer stupidly, dazed and running on autopilot as you space out. every fiber and molecule of your being on edge as you give ayato your full attention.

you bite your lips, wanting to say a certain something to him after going weeks and weeks of not speaking to him. however, you held yourself back.

"i was thinking," ayato starts. "maybe you'd like to talk? you know… about everything?"

a small smile appears on your face, and you unconsciously nod even if he won't see you.

"i'd love to."

—

"are you really sure you guys don't wanna come up with me?" you ask ayaka, who sits behind the wheel in her white lexus and thoma in the back seat. you three are at the parking lot of the hotel ayato told you where he was staying.

he initially asked where you were so he could come to you, but after thorough persuasion, he relented on you going to him instead.

ayaka takes off her seat belt. "we're sure. he only asked to see you."

"just update us about how he's been. we'll wait for you here." thoma says.

you nod, stepping out of the car and walking toward the elevator. you met eyes with a woman at the front desk. she bows to you, a customer-service smile on her face, as she approaches you. ayato says he'd ring the front desk, so you can just come straight to his suite. the woman follows you to the elevator and taps the key card into a scanner before pressing a certain floor. whether or not she recognizes you, she doesn't say nor make it noticeable as she turns her heel back to the front desk.

you chew on your bottom lip, emotions running at an all-time high. you don't even notice the popping sensation in your ears as the floors get higher, your mind preoccupied with what you'll say to him, how you'll act. after all, the last proper conversation you had with him was back at their hospital's VIP room—which is weeks ago, give or take, and it did not even end well.

the elevator dings! and the doors open, sealing your fate.

there were only three rooms on this floor, and ayato instructed you to make two lefts to get to his room at the end of the hallway. the carpet is spotless, and your dirty white sneakers look so out of place as you make your way to his suite. just as you raise your hand to ring the doorbell, the door swings open, and there stands before you in all his glory—

"ayato," you say, dumbstruck. you don't notice how he is in mismatched silk pajamas, nor how a few of his hair stands on weird angles; you see his already pale skin that looks paler than usual and the bags under his tired eyes.

"yn—hey," he says, just as dazed as you. as if he can't believe you're actually standing before him right now. "uhm, come in."

the first thing you see is the thick white curtains hiding the floor-to-ceiling windows, blocking out the skies' magnificent orange and yellow hues as the sun has begun to set. the suite looked much like any other hotel room, only it looked fancier and more luxurious with its white marble accents paired with wooden furniture. the living room is well-lit, and from where you're standing, the sliding door to the bedroom is open, allowing you a slight peak.

you see a leather bag open on the lamp desk, chargers, and other necessities placed haphazardly around it. one of his carry-on is sprawled open on the floor behind the bed, while the rest is zipped shut at the far corner of the room, looking untouched.

"so—"

"yn—"

you both speak at the same time. he meets your eyes sheepishly, letting out a small laugh, a hand rubbing the nape of his neck sheepishly. "ladies first," he insists, and you don't argue.

"when did you fly back? seems to me you've been here for a few days now," you say, looking around. "i thought for sure you were still in another country."

"oh, i flew back a day after the wedding."

you nodded understandingly.

silence surrounds you both until ayato breaks it.

"would you like anything to drink or eat? i can order room service."

you smile, "a glass of water would be fine."

"alright, take a seat."

so you settle yourself on the plush sofa as he disappears in the kitchen for a few minutes before coming back to place your water on the low coffee table. you expected him to sit nearer to you, however he sits on the sofa across from you, and a frown tugs at your lips until you remember he's just being cautious. you guys did end on a bad note…

when your eyes meet, he shoots you a small smile as he nods. giving you the opportunity to speak first.

"well, i wanna start by saying i'm sorry," you interlace your fingers together on your lap. "for deceiving you. you definitely did not deserve that, i just got so scared—that i'd lose ayaka, and what your reaction would be if you found out… which you did, still."

ayato hums. "i understand your point, with ayaka. however i'm still quite hurt with our dates, as i did put my utmost time and effort into them," a solemn tone takes over his voice, and you can feel your heart breaking. "i would've accepted a proper rejection. i know how to respect a woman's decision."

"no." you answer in a heartbeat. "look, i know sabotaging our dates can possibly come off as me not reciprocating your feelings but that was just me making bad decisions."

ayato blinks, dumb founded. it takes time for him to properly start speaking. "i'm afraid i'm not following…?"

you sigh, not really knowing what to say—well, technically, you knew what to say, you just didn't know how.

well, might as well bite the bullet and blurt it out.

"i like you, ayato. i like you so much, even if i know i don't deserve you. because… because…" you didn't know you were crying, attention focused on the man in front of you to even notice the wetness of your cheeks.

your throat feels clogged up, and you choke on your words, unable to carry their weight. "i know how much i hurt you. i lied to you and didn't even stop to think about what you could've felt, i completely disregarded your efforts, and i was selfish. so i get it, when you told… told me that you shouldn't have liked me because i wouldn't… wouldn't like someone like me either —"

his scent engulfs you whole as he pulls you into an embrace. you feel a slight tremble in his hands as he firmly holds onto you, almost as if making it a confirmation if you truly were in between his arms. you break down in front of someone for the first time in weeks, your mind playing flashbacks of how you had to stifle your crying in the bathroom so ayaka won't hear.

it was as if a dam broke, and you couldn't stop your tears from cascading down your cheeks. you didn't know what you were crying about — you can't exactly pinpoint if it was because of this concrete fear of nearly losing ayato, of the harsh criticisms of the public, or you were just so overjoyed to be in his arms without having to worry about anyone or anything.

despite all the snot and tears you're probably getting on his expensive pajamas, ayato holds you tight, gently rocking you back and forth because he knew, he just knew, that his silent presence can comfort you more than his words at that exact moment.

after you have calmed down, resorting to small sniffles every now and then, did you decide to pull away. not completely, just enough to meet his gentle eyes. he smiles, tilting his head. "do you feel better?"

you nod slightly, shame suddenly washing over you.

"i'm sorry, i think i ruined your PJs."

"oh, these?" he shrugs his shoulder, laughing. "i have ten more sets of these, and you can cry on each and every single one of them if you want to."

LOWKEY » previous : masterlist : next

a kamisato ayato social media au

summary — it was only recently you found out kamisato ayaka was, in fact, not an only child after all! seeing ayato for the first time gave you the severest case of the butterflies but according to ayaka, he’s off limits, especially to you as her most treasured friend. well, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt, right?

notes — the end lol jk

🏷 i. @rinrinchin @nejibot @viiolettee @katsumikumo @starryeyedkoko @xingqiusliegee @boxdisappeared @lovelyycherries @love6cks @kiyowoir @luvvmeilin @blackberri-jelli @moonlightbqe @kazooms @tricethecharm @lynnforever @kaedear @xiaoisahawtie @crowbird @apotatouwu @xinii @euryrue @aequha​@nuttytani @plinkuro @aixaingela @milesluvrrad @windasteriaa @cherrytomato2 @zannivrs @eishtar @wccycc @ceylestia @sweet-almonds @queenaveryrules @veyu002 @ukinya @adeptusx @x-xxiaos @loveyoutothestars @ssalamanderr

[berrygrls]

ayato kamisato w/ puppygirl! hybrid! reader.

warnings: MDNI!! oral (male receiving), head pushing, choking, spanking, tail pulling, dom!ayato, sub!reader, brat taming, degradation, cum mentions, fem!reader

૮ ིྀ◞ ◟ ྀིა♡ likes, and reblogs are much appreciated!

please do not, copy, or repost my work.

ayato with a loyal little puppy hybrid gf that likes sitting at his feet whilst he works. 

ayato with a needy little puppy girl that sometimes may get a bit too needy and becomes a bit of a brat.

ayato who flips you over his lap and pulls your tiny sleep shorts off and spanks your ass till it’s red, pulling at your fluffy tail a little.

ayato who makes you get on your knees in between his legs and lick him up, but how he wants, slowly, infuriatingly slow, and needily, you shove it down your throat.

ayato who pushes your head onto his pretty, long cock and makes you choke on it.

“you wanted to be a greedy little bitch no? then take it, and if i see a single drop of my cum come out of your mouth, you’re not cumming for 3 days, understood?”

BERRYGRLS 2024, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

[maladaptivedaydreamers]

Pent Up Marriage (Arranged Marriage! Ayato x Reader)

Synopsis: You desperately want to make this marriage work, and after he cheated on you multiple times, you made the numbing decision on how to save it. It works! However, you’re now like a puppet to your husband, growing numb and emotionless. Ayato, on the other hand, seems to enjoy it.

Direct Quote: “Yeah, so…whenever you need it, just…tell me, you know. It doesn’t matter if you’re mad or frustrated or just needy, if you need to exert some kind of stress, just let it out on me.” You say, looking at him in the eye. He stared at you, not knowing what to say, but…kinda turned on. “…"I'll keep that in mind, then. Just be prepared in case I get violent or something. I can be...brutal."

TW: Non-con, Dub-con, Harsh s3x, Abus3, Groping, Somno, Forceful, Manipulation, Cheating

After another stressful day at work, you come home feeling stressed and tired. Your husband, Ayato, seems to be having another “overtime” at his office. You clean up, tidy up the house, do the laundry, cook dinner. Eventually, Ayato comes home, disheveled and upset, as usual.

“Hey.” He uttered, removing his shoes as he entered the apartment.

“You’re home.” You said, walking up to him and placing a small kiss on his cheek. Part of the routine. As you did so, you see a small red mark on his collar, lip stick. “Take your shirt off.” You simply say, unbuttoning his shirt.

Ayato looked confused and irritated as he looked down at you. “What?”

“I said, take your shirt off. You don’t want it to stain, do you? Red pigment is hard to wash off if it dries.” You say, blankly. You’ve gotten used to his cheating ways, and all you wanted to do was adapt to it.

Ayato rolled his eyes before harshly unbuttoning his shirt, tossing it to you. “There, whatever.” He uttered before heading to the bathroom to shower.

As you tossed the shirt in the washing machine, you were thinking of a way to stop him from his affairs. After all, if his and your family were to find out that he was looking for another person to fulfill his desires, you’d be in big trouble.

Whatever, you still had some work to do anyway, you should just think about it another time. Focus on your laptop and let your husband do…whatever, I guess?

Soon, it was deep into the night and you decide to head into your shared room. Or you would consider to be just Ayato’s room.

Ayato's room was neat and tidy, with only a few books scattered on the floor with the covers facing up. His bed was made with sharp creases and the sheets were tucked firmly around a big pillow. Atop his desk was a large PC setup, the lights softly illuminated the room, and in the far corner, a door leads to another room in the house, the bathroom.

Ayato was already under the covers, his arms folded underneath his head and his eyes closed tight. He didn't turn to look at you and stayed silent, pretending to be asleep.

You were still restless, as you let out a yawn as you get into your side of the bed, sitting up and leaning against the headrest. You spend a few minutes looking over and reviewing some files. Ayato pretended to stay asleep, but one of his eyes peaked open as if curious about what you were doing. The faint glow of your phone screen caught his attention as he moved his head slowly, peeking just a little bit more. Why would you still be awake?

Soon, you fell asleep. You shouldn’t have forced yourself to stay up so late. That’s what Ayato thought, that you were always killing yourself by working too hard for a job that you cared too much about. Ayato sighed, getting out of bed. He walked over to you, picking up the documents before covering you with a blanket and laying them down on the small table next to your bed.

He leaned down to your ear and whispered, "Good night."

He turned off the lights, then headed back to his room to do the same. The two of you slept soundly at opposite ends of the house, not bothering each other for the rest of the night.

Not for long though…

Suddenly, your phone rang, your stupid boss again. It was 5am! Why would he be-

“Hello?” You answered, why did you answer? Your eyes were squinting from being suddenly woken up, “Sir, I got the files back earlier, I’ll deliver it when I get to work later. …No, I can’t deliver them now, I just got back home…Thank you, goodnight.” You sighed, knowing it will be another heavy day.

Ayato woke up with a start, but kept quiet, listening to your end of the phone call. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed you were up. He remained silent for a moment, but eventually spoke up.

"Bad news, huh? Can't sleep?" he asked, looking towards you in the dim light of the room.

You were startled, and also a little guilty. “Shit, did I wake you up?”

"Yes, but don't worry about it." Ayato sat up and put his feet down on the floor. As the two of you sat on opposite sides of the bed, he spoke again.

"Does your boss never let you rest? Or maybe you're just bad at your job." He chuckled slightly, and you noticed a slight annoyance in his tone.

You hum a simple, “Mhmm.” as you rest your head onto your pillow.

"You were out all night and now your boss wants you to go to work? Is this the life of my wife? To be some company's dog you can just go around and do your boss's dirty work?" Ayato smirked and leaned back on his elbows, amused by his own sarcastic comment.

You didn’t know what to say, frankly, your mouth just spoke whatever your mind processed first. “…Oh..have I been neglecting you?”

Ayato let out a sigh and rolled his eyes, seeming a little irritated by your comment.

"We're in this marriage just because our parents wanted us to. We're not in love," he said, speaking bluntly.

"So it really doesn't matter if we neglect each other or not. Besides, this is a loveless marriage, and neither of us loves the other. That means we have no obligations to each other."

You nod. “…Do you feel neglected? Which…makes you cheat?”

He seemed to be annoyed, which caused him to ramble on and on. "Do I feel neglected? Pssh!" He paused for a moment before continuing. "You know what? Not really. I don't rely on you to fulfill my needs."

"And you're right, I have been seeing other people, but don't mistake them for being my lovers!”

You sighed, seeing he wasn’t answering the question. “So…are you? No judgement, really. It’s okay to admit that you’re…you know…needy.”

Ayato's eyes widened for a moment before he stared at you in shock.

"Needy? What are you getting at?" he asked, trying to hide his annoyance. "I guess so.... Yeah, I am. What now?"

“It’s just an observation, you know. You’ve been kissing me on the cheek, waiting for me to get home. It’s unusual for you to do that….” You say.

"Don't get the wrong idea," he scoffed, his voice becoming louder as he raised an eyebrow. "Just because it's an unusual night, does not mean I care for you." He hissed the words with such intensity. "It's just that...I felt like it, that's all. Get that into your head." He sighed again. His annoyance was starting to fade into a sadness, but his attitude remained rough and cold.

“…Thank you for telling me.” You sighed.

You thought for a minute…

He was needy… So he had affairs… Ah…now you know what to do.

“Hey…Ayato.” You sat up, meeting him eye to eye.

Ayato turned to look at you, his eyes still filled with annoyance and disappointment. "What do you want now? What else is there to talk about?”

You thought for a moment before saying, “You can always let your frustration out on me, you know?”

Ayato's face tightened. He looked as if he wanted to strangle you in a moment of rage. "You want me to let my frustration out on you? Just because we're in a loveless marriage, which makes you think that I get the right to abuse you?"

“Eh?” You look at him. “You don’t have to abuse me, you can just…release pent-up frustration.”

Ayato paused for a moment and lowered his voice, staring at you with slight confusion.

"You want me to hit you, or something?" Ayato scoffed, amused yet slightly confused at your suggestion.

“No..something like this.” You muttered before leaning in…

…and kissing him.

Ayato looked surprised as your lips touched his. For a second, he was caught off guard, but his lips soon parted, and he kissed you back passionately.

The taste of you was familiar, as one hand reached down as he kissed you, caressing your cheek, brushing your hair behind your ear; his other hand placed gently against your shoulder. He broke the kiss and sighed softly, looking down at you, his cheeks flushed.

“See? …Just like that.” You said, staring up at him blankly.

Ayato chuckled softly. "You really had me going for a second." He smirked and looked at you, shaking his head.

"Thanks." Ayato seemed to have calmed down, but he still looked tense and stiff, as he sighed again. "You were right. I may hate it, but I am needy. And you're the only person I can go to for it."

“Yeah, so…whenever you need it, just…tell me, you know. It doesn’t matter if you’re mad or frustrated or just needy, if you need to exert some kind of stress, just let it out on me.” You say, looking at him in the eye.

He stared at you, not knowing what to say, but…kinda turned on. “…"I'll keep that in mind, then. Just be prepared in case I get violent or something. I can be...brutal."

The next day, you get home from another hard day of work, working a little later than usual. You opened the door to your house and sighed. It seems that the day was longer than you thought. As you locked the door behind you, you realized that it had become much darker outside. A cold breeze came through your open jacket, and your arms quickly began to get goosebumps.

You quickly turn around. Ayato was standing there, right in behind you, with a deadpan expression on his face. His arms remained crossed the whole time, and you noticed a slight anger in his eyes.

He cleared his throat and stared at you directly, his tone still dry and annoyed. He took a deep breath and sighed.

"You're late." he said bluntly. "I've waited for you for hours, and yet you're...late. Did I give you permission to get home late?

You sighed, “Sorry, they made me do overtime.”

Ayato continued to look at you with a slightly annoyed look on his face. "I hope they gave you some decent compensation for making you work late."

He paused, "You'd better make up for that by coming right here and serving me the second you get home, you hear me?"

He raised his voice as he stepped closer to you.

"Do you understand, dear?" he muttered in a dry tone before looking away.

“Oh, I see what’s happening here.” you muttered before you leaned in and kissed him, placing your hand at the back of his neck.

He soon returned it. He placed a hand on the back of your neck as well, pulling you closer to him and gently guiding your body to the wall as you kissed. After a moment, he pulled back and looked at you, and you noticed his voice was softer than before.

"Good girl."

“You seemed to be frustrated… Bad day at work?” you said, looking up at him.

"You could say that..." The corners of his mouth turned up slightly into a dark smirk.

"So, why don't you go make me feel a little better?" This time, the sinister look was back on his face, and a twinkle of anger and resentment shone in his eyes. "I'm sure you can make up for being late and leaving me all by myself, can't you?"

You knew what you had to do, you leaned in to kiss him again, and he let you. Ayato soon grabbed you by the waist and led you to their bedroom, locking the door after he pushed you into it. Ayato smiled as his lips parted to break the kiss.

"You're good at making a man happy, you know? Keep up the good work." He chuckled darkly, as his gaze lingered on you for a moment.

“I promised you, didn’t I? You can take out your frustrations out on me.” You panted, out of breath from the kiss.

He smirked and nodded. He looked at you in a way that conveyed his expectations. As he stared at you, you could feel his impatience, and his desire for control. "You know what to do after that." Ayato watched you as you took off your blouse. He soon reached out and started caressing your chest, his fingers running across your skin as he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

His tone and expression were still serious and cold, but you noticed the slight signs of pleasure written on his face.

"More...I still don't feel satisfied."

You unzipped your bottoms as he continued to watch you. As your skirt fell to the floor, Ayato's eyes widened slightly and he smiled.

"Good girl." All of the anger was gone from his tone and voice, and you could hear a twinkle of desire in his voice. "That's a good girl."

You slowly sat down on the bed, and Ayato took a moment to look you up and down. His voice was now a little softer, and he smiled at you. His eyes were glued to your underwear and black tights, and you could already feel his desire growing. He soon stood up, and looked directly at you. He slowly pulled off his suit jacket, his eyes still focused on you all the while. "Now, then...why don't you get comfortable for me?"

He could only smile as you layed down on the bed. He slowly started walking towards you, taking off his belt and tossing it to the side. His dark gray dress pants were soon following it, as a mischievous look crossed his face. He climbed on top of you, his body covering yours, as you felt him place his hands on your waist. He sighed and slowly got comfortable, leaning down towards you. You could feel him start pulling off your tights, and his eyes became fixed on your skin. Ayato sighed, and a smile crossed his lips as he reached out and placed a soft kiss on your inner thigh. His hand slid back and forth across your skin, and you could feel his breath coming in slow, shallow breaths. He chuckled darkly as he looked up at you, and spoke in a low, dark voice.

“Such…a good girl…”

He began to kiss you again, as he trailed from your lips, to your neck, to your breasts. “Last time we did this…I don’t even remember.” He chuckled, pushing his band underneath you to get to your back. And in one swift motion, unclasped your bra. He tossed it somewhere in the room before continuing to kiss your chest, massaging the other with his hand.

“A-Ah..” You let out from the sudden feeling.

His hands trailed down to the waistband of your panties before pulling them down. “Spread them for me, hm?” He grinned as you did as you were told. “Good girl…good wife.” He said before slowly pressing a finger onto your hole causing you to whimper a little. This only made him chuckle as he pushed a finger in, slowly pumping it. “That’s it.” He said, kissing you to muffle your voice.

One finger became two…then became three as your whimpers turned into moans. “Shhh, calm down, hun.” he laughed. “That should stretch you out enough. Feel good?” He looked down at you, but you were unable to answer, still panting.

“Well, I’ll assume, okay? Now..make me feel good.” He asked, leaning back to show you his bulge. His cheeks were red as he still had that grin on his face. You nodded as you unzipped his pants, causing his dick to spring up. “Miss this?” Ayato chuckled, tapping his dick on your lips. “Go on then.”

You opened your mouth, slowly taking him in your mouth. God, you forgot how big he was. It has been a while, for sure. You take him in slowly, finally taking him in fully.

“Yes~ So…good. This is nice.” he said, letting out a sigh. You slowly bopped your head back and forth as he let out a few satisfied moans. As you kept going, you suddenly felt his hands push your head deeper.

“Mmhph?!” You gagged, but it was no use as he continued to thrust into your mouth.

He moaned happily, “Ah, shit~ That’s right~ I forgot how good your fucking throat is.” he moaned.

You felt him coming close as you felt him twitch inside your mouth. He pulled out, panting. “That’s…that’s a good girl.” He said, slapping you on the cheek softly as you coughed and breathed for air. He pushed you onto the bed, pulling you into another aggressive kiss and he trailed his hands on your hips. Ayato pushed himself in the middle of your legs and without hesitation, starting aligning his dick to your hole.

“Ah, shit!” he hissed as he had troubles pushing his tip inside you. He let out a few cursed laughs before saying, “You know, I really thought you were cheating on me too, just to get back at me. Ah!~ But…you’re so tight…fuck! It’s…a shame you’re not using this.” he mocked you, as he pushed in deeper.

“A-Ah! W-Wait!” You said, gripping his shoulders as he pushed deeper in you, your back arched as a few more inches entered you.

He bottoms out on you as he let out a moan. “Ah!~” he grinned in satisfaction, his dick resting inside your tight pussy. “Shit, you’re good.” he uttered as he started thrusting in and out of you, not giving you time to adjust.

“Fuck, you’re good, such a good wife.” He moaned, spreading your legs apart even further. He continued pounding into you, your whimpers turning into teary moans as he kept going. “Tsk, tsk. Don’t cry now. If it makes you feel better…you feel better than those bitches I cheat on you with. Hm? Feel better?” He sounded like he was mocking you, insulting you or something. But either way, you continued to moan as your legs went limp. He placed one of your legs on his shoulder, thrusting in deeper into your tight cunt.

Your body felt hot as you trembled underneath him. You were wondering whether or not this was the right decision or not. A mixture of pleasure and pain ran across your body, but soon, a knot was filling your stomach. God, it’s been ages since you last felt something like this. Moan after moan after moan, you couldn’t stop as your hands gripped the sheets. You couldn’t even make out words when the knot in your stomach unwinded, releasing an orgasm which made you arch your back and cried out.

“Oooh~ Shit, was that an orgasm? You’re so…weak..! It’s been what? 5 minutes? Feels so good, huh? Wanna tell your husband how good he is? Hm?” He laughed as he continued to pound into you.

He watched your breasts bounce as he pushed his cock in and out of you like an animal in heat, he wasn’t stopping. “Damnit.” He uttered out as the grip on your leg and waist tightened, he was getting close too. …And so were you.

“Fuck, fuck.” He uttered, his fingers digging into your skin. He leaned down as he sucked on your neck, leaving a few marks. His lips trailed back onto yours as your tongues danced.

You let out a cry of pleasure as another coil unraveled inside you. And this… this pushed him to the edge as he thrusted one final and harsh thrust, painting your insides white. “Ah, fuck!” He growled, spasming a few thrusts to ensure he’s in you.

You pant, seeing your surroundings close in on you as you feel exhausted. Your limbs go limp and your chest rise and fall.

Ayato looks down at you blankly…staring at you as you’re covered in sweat. Your legs drop and fall flat. But after a few seconds, he puts them back on his shoulder. “No, no, no… we’re not done. No.” He shakes his head. He no longer had a grin on his face.

It was just filled with cold-hearted desire.

And after 4 rounds, he pulled out of you, his cum bursting out as soon as he did, dribbling on the sheets.

Ayato was breathing heavily, his heavy breaths coming and going in fast, shallow breaths. He took a moment to catch his breath, smiling as he looked down at you.

You were laid down on his bed, tired and exhausted from what had just happened, and you noticed Ayato's eyes staring down at you in satisfaction.

"You...didn't disappoint," He smirked.

"I hope you'll be more ready next time." He paused for a moment as he rolled his shoulders. "Now, why don't you get some sleep?"

You mumbled a small “Okay…” as your eyes were already shutting.

Ayato's eyes lingered on you for a moment, before he got up and went into the bathroom. After a few minutes, he came out, cleaned and dressed up. He slowly walked closer to you, and sat on the side of the bed.

He stared at you for a moment, and smiled softly.

"You're really are tired. You were a good girl tonight, you know." He sighed as he leaned over you, and kissed your forehead. "Try to get some rest, alright?"

This continued on and on and on and on, no matter if it was on your way to work or when you’ve just come back. It was like routine already. If you noticed Ayato was cranky, you’d be making out in no less than a few seconds.

One day, Ayato returned at 10pm, looking tired as he dropped his briefcase on the floor. He was still dressed in his work clothes, and the look of disdain on his face had grown even stronger.

He was exhausted and tired, and the light in his eyes was almost gone. He sighed quietly as he walked to the kitchen and started rummaging through the cabinets for a drink. He looked over at you, and his lip curled up in contempt.

"What do you want? I'm not in the mood to talk." His tone was cold and dismissive.

“You okay?” you ask from the living room.

Ayato turned around and stared at you, his gaze still filled with disdain.

"I'm fine. I just had a fantastic day at work." He took out a bottle of vodka and opened it, pouring himself a cup. He sighed as he poured himself a glass, and then drank the entire glass in one go.

"Why do you care, anyway?" He turned around and leaned against the counter, his tone growing even more cold. "Do you really care about how I feel?"

You pause, thinking of the right thing to say. “…Depends if you want me to care.”

"I'm your husband."

His tone was stern and slightly aggressive, and he soon set his empty glass aside.

"You should always care about how I feel. After all, you're my wife." He sighed, and a hint of anger could be sensed in his voice. "If you're not going to care, then maybe you should just leave."

“…You okay? Seriously, you can tell me.” You look over at him, lightly concerned.

"I'm fine..." A sigh of disappointment escaped his lips as he reached out for the bottle of vodka and refilled the cup.

"Just let me drink in peace. I don't want to talk about it." His tone was still stern and serious, as it had been in the morning. He had just had an awful day, and he wanted to spend the rest of the day drinking to make himself feel better. He was just hoping that you wouldn't keep pestering him as he continued drinking his vodka in silence.

You let out a sigh before walking up to him, taking the cup away. “That’s enough.”

"Hey! Give it back to me." You could see the light of anger in his eyes as he looked down at you, his lip curling up in a snarl as he glared at you. "I said, give it back to me." He glared down at you, as he reached a hand out and started trying to grab the cup from you.

You sigh as he leans in to take the cup back, so you lean in close…kissing him.

When you leaned in to kiss him, the light of anger in his eyes changed to a light of passion.

He couldn't help but let out a moan as his lips met yours, and he pressed himself against you. He pulled his hand back from trying to grab the drink.

"Good girl."

He pulled away from the kiss and smiled softly, as he brushed a strand of your hair aside.

Ayato smirked at you, as you could see the light of amusement in his eyes once more.

"Good girl. This is what I've been waiting for all day," he chuckled.

As he spoke, he went in for another kiss, much deeper than the first one and with far more passion.

Do you see what I mean? This was everyday with him. And it was…all your fault. You suggested this, and he just took the chance. It didn’t matter where either. The kitchen, the couch, the bathroom, the car. You would always comply. Even if you said…

“Ayato, not today…”

“Ayato, I’m tired…can we not do it today?”

“Ayato��please don’t?”

It would always end in you and him fucking ‘til his heart’s content.

But you were successful though, in making him NOT cheat. He always came home early, looking for you instead of some other girl. That’s a good thing…right?

But don’t worry! He would reward you. Every time you two are done, he would lay beside you, propping himself using his elbow and whisper…

“What would you like for your reward? Anything in the world…”

“You want a diamond necklace?”

“Does my good girl want a new car? New shoes?”

“I’ll get you whatever you want.”

That’s a good thing, right? He’s…being nice? He’s spoiling you, like a husband would.

But deep down, you were getting tired. Not of him, but of…this. Not mentally, but physically. Because soon…

…You can’t sleep.

Why can’t you sleep? You close your eyes and see nothing, you can’t feel anything. You wanna sleep. But you can’t. Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep?

One day, you come home from work, exhausted and a little emotional, cause your boss is a bitch. Ayato was on the sofa in the living room, reading another newspaper. He looked up as you came through the door.

"Are you home early today, my love?" He smiled, still showing no true warmth or affection in his tone. “Is something the matter? You seem quite tired..."

He chuckled, before speaking again. "Ah, who am I kidding? You always seem tired...You just can't get enough sleep, can you?"

You stay silent for a moment before walking up to him…

And hugging him?

"Huh?" He was shocked by the sudden hug. "Is something the matter? Why did you hug me so suddenly?" His voice was calm, but there was still an air of resentment and malice. He was clearly not in the mood to care about you. He sighed, but continued to show an indifferent or annoyed look.

"I mean, it's a good surprise I guess, but it's not normal for you to show affection, so I'm a little surprised..."

“Please…be quiet. I just…need someone right now.” You uttered, as you stared into the floor.

"Hmph..Fine..." His voice was quiet, but it still carried a dark undertone to it that made it obvious he wasn't happy.

He sighed, before looking down at you and speaking once more. "Just so you know, it's not like I'm enjoying this. I'm just doing it because you've had a rough day, that's all. Do not get this mistaken for affection, Y/N."

He looked at you, his expression remaining cold and indifferent. "Is that clear?" In which you simply replied with a nod.

"Well, at least you understand..." He put his arms around you, and rested his head on yours. Despite the tone of his voice and the expressions he made, you could tell he was trying his best to be comforting...although he didn't seem to have much experience with this.

After a stressful day, a few tears dripped off your eyes as you rested against him. He noticed you crying, and sighed.

"Hm...are you okay?" His voice didn't sound like it normally did, but instead of being cold or sarcastic, it was a bit warmer than usual. "You seem a bit upset..."

He paused, before speaking again as he pulled your chin up a little. "My goodness, you look so miserable...You've really had a bad day, haven't you?"

You straightened yourself up, brushing off the tears before standing up. “I’ll head to bed now…goodnight.”

“Hey- Wha-“ He looked confused as he watched you walk to your shared room.

"Alright, then..." His voice was a lot softer than it normally was, and he gave you a small smile. "Goodnight, my love." He looked down a little, and you could see a hint of affection and kindness in his eyes now, but just for a moment.

Then it was gone, and he was once again a cold, reserved man, as he always had been.

So…what were you doing in your room? Why were you feeling so…weird? Like some sort of embarrassment and guilt?

…Is it because you bought those sleeping pills? The one you knew would slowly turn you into a drug-filled monster? Is it the way you’re popping 3 pills all at once? …Is that it? The pills kicked in fairly quickly, and you slowly started to fall asleep. It wasn't long before you became unconscious, feeling the effects of the sleeping pills. If you kept taking them at the same rate, you would soon be addicted to the pills, and it wouldn't be long before you couldn't sleep without them...

Soon, Ayato went inside the room, also wanting to sleep. He sees you on the bed, it was a little weird to see you sleeping so early since for the past few weeks, you’d struggle to fall asleep.

He shrugged, and sat down on his side of the bed. Looking over at you, he noticed that you was sleeping very deeply - more deeply than normal, and it wasn't hard to tell why.

He rolled over, got comfy, and lied down. He closed his eyes, and soon enough, he also fell into a deep sleep.

The same routine of fucking and swallowing sleeping pills made you different. Too different. You turned emotionless and cold. You were…not Y/N anymore.

One day, after another stuffy fucking, you both were laying in bed. Ayato sighed. "Well, it's been a long day, hasn't it? I need sleep. I don't suppose we should stay up too long tonight." His voice sounded a bit softer than before.

"Goodnight...my dear wife..." He put one of his arms around you, and hugged you tightly.

"I may not show it much, but I do care about you. You know that, don't you?" He paused, waiting for a response.

You stared into the ceiling, exhausted but restless. “…Sure.”

"Sure" He scoffed, clearly not buying it at all. His voice was colder than ever, and it was hard to recognize this as the same person who had just comforted you. "Sure."

He hugged you tightly, and lay his head down on the pillow. He took the blanket, and covered up both of you, before going to sleep once more. You could feel that he had grown colder and more distant than ever before - like he hadn't wanted you near him at all. He had grown colder and more aloof than ever before.

Ayato was sleeping deeply right beside you. He seemed to be peaceful, but despite what he said earlier, it was hard to tell whether he truly cared about you. He laid there next to you, breathing quietly, completely asleep.

Was he telling the truth, or was he lying?

Did he care about you, or did he hate having you near him?

You couldn't tell anymore at this point. And you didn’t care. You needed something else.

Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills.

Shit, you needed those pills.

You harshly stood up from the bed, not caring if you woke him up or not. You walk to the bedside table, where you took out the bottle of sleeping pills.

"What are you doing?"

Ayato seemed to notice you standing up, and he sat up in the bed. With a groan, he looked up at the clock, before looking back at you.

"Is something the matter, wife?"

He still wasn't showing any signs of affection, but his voice was a little softer now, and his attitude was a little less antagonistic.

“Nothing.” you said, holding the bottle behind you.

"Nothing?" Ayato frowned, and sat up in the bed fully. He looked over at you, raising an eyebrow. He was still wondering what you were doing, looking at you with a slight hint of suspicion.

"Sure," he said with a cold voice, and you could see a smirk on his face now. "You're lying about something. Tell me what the deal is." His tone became cold once more, and you could see that he was beginning to get annoyed.

“Show me the bottle.”

You froze. “What bottle?”

"What bottle?" He narrowed his eyes again, glaring at you. You could feel his anger and irritation building up. He had always been calm and cold, but this was the first time you had seen him genuinely angry. Even before, when he yelled at you, he still sounded calm and unemotional.

"Are you lying to me now? That bottle that you're clearly trying to hide behind your back...show it to me.”

“It’s not a big deal.” You shook your head.

"It isn't a big deal?" He frowned, and sounded a little pissed off.

"Well then, there isn't any reason not to show me, is there? He narrowed his eyes again.

"Show. Me. The. Bottle."

You realized that he wasn't really kidding anymore. If you still didn't show him, he might get even more pissed off. He had always been cold and unemotional, but now, you could really sense his anger.

"Are you seriously not going to show me?"

He stood up, and walked toward you as he reached out, and yanked the bottle from your hands.

"Was that so hard?

He looked at the bottle, and then gave you another angry look.

"I thought it wasn't a big deal? Since when have you been taking sleeping pills, Y/N?!”

“…3 months.”

He scoffed, angry and in disbelief. “How many? How many fucking pills do you take a day?”

You look up at him, before you roll your eyes. “3 before but now I take double.”

"You've been taking double the amount of pills lately?! Why are you doubling the amount?” He gripped the bottle angrily.

Why was he so upset anyway?

"Let me guess… 3pills wasn't enough, eh? And did you ever think that taking that many pills might not be beneficial in the long term?" He raised an eyebrow, and he was still watching you intently.

"I thought there wasn't any need for such drastic measures... But then again, you always enjoyed being dramatic when it came to things like these…”

“Stop it, it’s not like I’ll be addicted to them.” You say, scratching your head in irritation. “I can’t sleep, I need them.”

"Is that really the only reason why?" He sighed loudly, and then smiled darkly.

"You already know what I suspect. The real reason is because you enjoy that little feeling of high that those pills give you, isn't it? You love that little rush of euphoria.”

You laughed, having had enough of his bullshit. “I wish I could get high off of them. I wish I could feel a little bit happier taking them. But noooooo! I just fucking need them so I can have some shut eye before getting back to work!” You had snapped, just wanting to take the pills.

You snatch back the bottle, much to the dismay of Ayato. "Give. The bottle. Back." He said, reaching his hand out.

You really should have known better. You felt a harsh smack to your face. Your hand grasped your now red cheek. “What the hell, Ayato?!” You yelled.

"You deserved that. Don't think you could get away with harming yourself, while also refusing to let me help.”

His hands were shaking with rage. "Give me the pills."

Instead, you ripped the bottle open, popping a few pills in your mouth. You didn’t care anymore… You wanted sleep.

“Y/N! What the fuck!” He yelled, taking the bottle from you and throwing it on the floor. But it was too late, the pills were so strong that you were already seeing the world as a blur.

"You really don't care, do you? About yourself and your well being?" He sighed, and then gave up talking to you. He looked at you with the same angry and frustrated look, before he looked you up and down. "And of course you'd already be starting to feel the effects of that many pills so quickly."

Now, he was just talking to the oblivion. You plopped yourself in bed as you stared at the ceiling. "You really don't care, do you?"

He stared at you in annoyance. "If you died right now, then I doubt you'd even be sad...” He stopped, before standing next to you and looking at you with a more angry expression.

"Why do you just give up on yourself like that...just...why?"

“Because …I’m stupid…and pathetic.” You muttered, laying down on the bed as your eyesight turned foggy.

"No you're not. And I hate it when you say that about yourself." He was still looking at you as he sat down beside you.

"You know what it's called when you keep self-destructive thoughts like that? Self loathing, I do believe...and it's sad to see that you've come to this point. To think that you've given up like this..."

He was getting sick of saying the same things, anyways.

"You're hopeless...that's why I hate this side of you. And it's why I'm so mad at you all the time. I'm tired of your self-destructive behavior, and I'm also tired of this endless cycle that we're in. But I don't want to give up on you because I love you dearly... But I don’t wanna love a bitch who doesn’t even love herself.”

He sighed. "That's what makes this so hard..."

“Heh, maybe I am getting a high from those pills. I can hear you say bullshit.” you uttered, wondering if you were hearing things right.

"Ha...ha...you're not funny.”

He sounded annoyed. He really wanted you to take this more seriously. He didn't know what to do with you anymore...

That was when Ayato suddenly remembered something. Something that he could potentially use to convince you to lay off the sleeping pills.

"Or...there's another solution that we could use, if you really think that you need those sleeping pills to survive the night..."

You looked over at him for a moment…oh wait…oooohhh that’s what he meant. “Oh god, not this again, are you pent up or something?” You groaned.

When he heard that, he didn't know whether to feel amused or annoyed.

"You really think that I'm that desperate..."

He sighed, and sighed again. "I'm trying to help you here, Y/N.”

He looked at you, seemingly amused now - but he wasn't going to give up that easily.

"I guess you want to make this hard, don't you? ...and I thought you're the obedient wife who always follows her husband's orders..."

“I’m about to fall asleep so…if you wanna do *it* with your *sleeping* wife, then be my guest.” You scoffed.

Your eyes fluttered, and then they closed. You were completely unconscious now. Ayato watched you for a moment, and he seemed happy.

His lips curved up into a smile, and he gave you a sly wink.

"I'll make sure to enjoy this." He grinned…

He loomed over your sleeping body as his thoughts began to run wild. His fingers were fidgeting as he reached for the hem of your shirt. He didn’t hesitate but pull off of you.

The sight of you so vulnerable really turned him on. He leaned down, kissing and marking your neck with dark hickeys as he grinded his already hardening bulge on you. Why was he liking this? Doesn’t matter, he was too deep into it already.

He continued to grind into you, he didn’t need to pin you down but he still did, pushing your hands into the bed.

His desires soon took over him, ripping up your panties to expose your cunt. He was hungry, more than ever. He knew there was no way he you were going to wake up anyway, he could do anything.

As he continued kissing down your neck to your chest, suckling on one of your breasts, his hand were now wandering. His cock ached in against the fabric of his pants as he stroked his finger in your folds. Oh…? Y/N…you’re wet. This seemed to entice him, as he kissed lower and lower, until he reached…ah, there.

He licked his lips as his breath approached your pussy, he licked a stripe before coming down. Kissing, sucking, licking in between your folds. He was getting greedy and hungry for you. He pulled you by the legs as he continued to eat you out, resting your thighs on his shoulder. Once he was satisfied, he pulled away from you, a thread of saliva still connecting you before he licked his lips, dropping your legs back onto the bed.

Fuck, why was this turning him on so bad?

He was adoring the sight of you, running his hands all over your body. He pulled down his sweats as his cock sprung out, already leaking with precum. He used his knees to spread your legs open, excited and full of desire. Ayato continued to stare at your face as he spread your legs open with his knees, stroking his cock as he did so. He positioned himself perfectly before burying himself completely inside of you, letting out a moan at how tight you were. He stayed motionless first, giving you a few slaps on the face to make sure you were still asleep.

His pace started off slow, trying to indulge in the power he was feeling. But it was soon replaced by desire as he quickened his pace, the sheets rustling and the bed creaking.

“Ah, fuck, so good. Such a fucking bitch.” He moaned out, pushing your legs to your chest.

“Shit, shit, ah!~ Yes!~” His eyes rolling back in pleasure as he took advantage of your sleeping body. He should be guilty…but he wasn’t. He felt a knot forming on his abdomen as he continued to plow into you.

“Y/N..Oh, fuck, Y/N!~” He moaned out as he came undone inside of you, his hips jerking back and forth.

He took a few breaths, trying to breath in some air, but he soon flipped you over, slapping your ass even though he knew, he wasn’t gonna get a reaction from you.

He pushed your head onto the pillow as he helped prop you on your knees, positioning himself again to push into you.

“Agh…!~ Fuck!” He groaned in pleasure as he pushed his entire cock into you again. He begins to speed up, not wasting anytime as he pounded into you, holding you by your hips. “Mhmm, so good. You wanted this…you wanted this…”

He bucks his hips into you as he cums once again, his essence spilling out of you as a white ring forms around the base of his cock.

As he pulls out, your cunt dribbles out his seed, which entices him even more.

He feels himself getting hard again as he gets ready for another round.

Wow…Ayato..

You’re a fucking monster…

A few rounds later, the day was already coming closer to dawn, and he seemed completely exhausted. He was still lying on top of you, and he seemed to be completely exhausted after what he had done with you.

He gave you a sad smile, before leaning in and kissing you on the lips. It was a kiss that lasted for a long time...

...He really was a monster.

He picked up the bottle of sleeping pills from the floor and placed them on your bedside table, but then he leaned down again. He kissed you again, and then he whispered into your ears...

"Take better care of yourself, okay Y/N? He smiled, before resting his head against your chest and giving your neck a kiss.

"I'd hate to see you feeling so poorly." He closed his eyes, and he began to fall asleep...

When your alarm rang, you woke up to discover yourself fully naked. “…He really fucking did it.” you laughed.

"You really are a heavy sleeper..." Ayato yawned as he sat up. "Did you enjoy it?"

“Did you?” you ask, looking over at him, still surprised he actually did such a thing.

"Of course I enjoyed it, Y/N." He was grinning sadistically now.

"And if it gets you to stop taking those pills, then I'll do what I have to."

You were in disbelief, unsure on what to say. “So every time I take sleeping pills, you’ll just…do it?”

"Mhm. Every. Single. Time.” He was actually happy with that.

"Because I'm not letting you hurt yourself like this. You want to be like an addict? Then I'm just going to force you to be happy - even if it means going to those lengths myself."

You let out a few laughs, “…Did you like taking me while I was asleep?”

"Of course I did," He gave you a sly, almost creepy smile. "Did you like what I did to you?" His voice was definitely dripping with sarcasm, and he seemed rather amused by your question. He didn't even bother hiding that.

“I consented to it…but I didn’t expect you to do it, actually.”

"...Consent, huh?" That was really the only thing that Ayato cared about here. He needed to know that you were okay with it - otherwise, he couldn't enjoy it nearly as much. But it was enough for him...

"If I'm being honest?" He laughed at his own statement. "I'm having fun with this, to be honest. I'd do this again and again."

You couldn't help but be a little creeped out with what he was saying.

"And again..."

"...and again..."

Your hands trembled a little, but it soon calmed as you realized…what’s the point?

"Why? What makes it so enjoyable..?” You asked. Ayato paused for a moment, and he leaned closer to you.

"Because I can do what I want with you, when I want to, however I want to. And…”

“…God, it just fucking turns me on, Y/N.”

"I love it." He was speaking honestly. He was smiling darkly and he had a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. He was enjoying himself. “It's like you're a piece of property, and I can do whatever I want with it."

“Ayato…do you love me?”

What? Y/N, don’t ask that! What the hell are you doing?

His face turned cold and cruel in an instant.

"Love...you? Don't be ridiculous. What do you even know about love?” Suddenly, all of his friendliness disappeared. That same dark look was in his eyes, and he looked dangerous for a moment.

"You're not capable of loving anyone. All you can do is be selfish."

His words hit you all at once, and it hurt. Why did you have to ask that?

“So I’m…incapable of loving…is that it?” You stammered, looking up at him.

“Hm…yeah.” He let that set in for a moment, before he smiled.

"That's because you're too selfish to care for anyone…”

"Love means that you care for other people. Well, how can you do that when you hate yourself? You can’t even look at yourself without wanting to kill whatever you see in the mirror."

“So tell me, Y/N…”

"...why would I ever love you?"

His stare was dark, and you got the implication now - you weren't worthy of being loved by him. He said the words in a cold tone, and it felt like his eyes were full of evil as he stared at you.

"What have you ever done that's worthy of someone loving you?"

The words cut whatever was left of your fragile, unfeeling heart. “You’re not answering my question…”

He stared at you for a moment then. "...Why do you think you're entitled to an answer?"

He couldn't believe it. Did you just ask him if he loves you?! As if he'd ever love someone like you? As if he was obligated to answer such a question? You were so selfish and delusional. No wonder you were getting the treatment that you were.

You laughed, almost going crazy. Was it the pills? Yeah…yeah, it was the pills.

“No, you need to answer… I want to know. Because…I want to know whether or not it’s worth it to let you take advantage of me. To keep being your pleasure doll.” You stared up at him, almost desperate.

"…Of course I don't love you, dear wife." His voice sounded full of hatred as he said that. But, then again, it did sound like he almost enjoyed speaking those words.

"There. You've got your answer."

You’re stupid, Y/N. You could’ve just continued acting clueless. You shouldn’t have sought for an answer. Now you’re hurt. And it was all your fault…

“…Was it good? Did you feel such good pleasure?” You asked, talking about him taking you while you were asleep.

"Yes. It was fucking great." It was obvious that he was trying to taunt you.

"Did you enjoy it too?"

He wanted to hear you say the words.

"Be honest, dear wife. Tell me, now."

A scoff left your lips as you reached for the bottle, taking a few pills in your mouth. “Doesn’t matter.” you chuckled.

Ayato froze…Y/N, what are you doing? Ayato didn’t know what do you but pull on your shoulder. “What the..fuck? What do you think you’re doing?” He stammers, gripping your shoulder.

But he was only met with a kiss as your body was starting to feel the effects of the 6 pills you decided to take. There was no response initially, as he was left frozen at your behavior. He did not expect this kind of response at all. He had no idea what to do to make you stop.

That had caught him completely off guard, to be honest.

His eyes widened, as he realized what the pills had done to you.

"Oh...no..."

You only smiled. “I’ll…keep doing this…if you like it…”

Why is your smile so genuine? What are you doing?

"No...don't...you...dare... You, you're ...making me like it...” He whispered to himself, looking down at you. You were starting to wobble from drowsiness as he took you in his arms.

"Y/N, you're dangerous. I don’t think you know just how dangerous you are..."

There was a sudden sharpness in his voice. He was angry now, wasn't he?

"Please..." He was begging you, for a moment. "...stop taking those pills..."

You reach out to caress his cheek. “…You enjoy it..don’t you? …I want to make you happy…”

There was no denying it - he did enjoy it. He didn’t want to ever admit that to you anymore. "I-I did enjoy it...but..." He trailed off "But I don't know if it's good for you..."

"I...I should stop you..."

It was obvious he was reluctant to do so.

“It doesn’t matter what I feel… Just..do whatever. If all you want is my body…then…so be it…” You said, your eyes fighting off the sleep.

Ayato's cold eyes opened in shock, hearing what you said to him.

"Do whatever...if all I want is your body?"

He looked confused for a moment. Was that how you viewed him? As someone who only viewed you as a mere pleasure tool? There was so much more to you than that...to him...to everyone.

Ayato was upset to hear that come out of your mouth.

You laughed softly. “I love you, Ayato… and if I have to do this for you to stay…I will…” You sighed, slowly drifting to sleep.

"...don't do this for me." Ayato was shocked. Did you mean what you said? Those words hurt him greatly more than anything else she had said.

"You don't need to do anything to please me, you…bitch.” He tried putting on a brave and confident front, as he spoke in his usual calm and confident voice. "You're worth so much more than that." He was trying to reassure you, but there was a small break in his voice when he said those words. “What..the fuck, Y/N?”

Your body lays limply on his arms as you sleep, there was nothing he could do anymore.

"Oh, fuck..." Ayato's face was full of worry and sadness, as he watched you lying there. It was obvious that your words hurt him greatly, and he couldn't help but shake a little. Could he really let you do something like that to yourself? But his heart broke, as his fears about you becoming a mere tool were coming true.

Would he ever be able to get over this?

He didn't know what to do...

The next day, you woke up like nothing happened. You rushed to the door, putting on your shoes for work. Ayato was left stunned, as he watched you leave. You seemed to be just going about your day, as if nothing had happened. You didn't say anything about the conversation yesterday...you didn't say anything about taking the pills either.

It was as if you didn't remember anything that had happened.

"This is a side of you that I haven't seen before..."

"You really are dangerous...what am I going to do about this...?"

You get home at around 2am. It was a long day at work, and you had come home pretty late. Ayato was in the living room, sitting on the couch and reading a book.

He looked up when you came home, and his eyebrows rose into surprise.

"You're pretty late tonight."

He watched you put your coat and other belongings away, before he looked back down at his book and continued reading.

“Yeah, we had a bit of a celebration after the presentation.” You say. “I’m just gonna fix up the laundry then go to bed.” Your words were blank and plain as you walk to the laundry room.

"Ah." He nodded a little bit, seemingly a little disappointed.

He was hoping that you'd be more forthcoming, so he could talk to you about all of this... You were really frustrating him...and you weren't making it easy to figure out. At all. Suddenly, as if his frustrations reached their final point, Ayato snapped.

"Fine. That's okay. Just do your laundry, Y/N.” He had a mocking smile on his face as he said that. Geez, what’s up with him?

You look out from the laundry room and give him a look. “You okay?”

"Perfectly fine." He had a sinister expression on his face, as he was clearly lying to you. It was obvious that he wasn't fine. His voice was dripping with malice. "I'm not fine. Not at all. And you know why." His tone was dark. He sounded as if he was on the verge of exploding as his eyes glowed in rage.

“…Okay then. Should’ve just said so.” You uttered, walking up to him before pressing your lips on his.

Like usual. Like routine. Like always.

His eyes widened in shock, as if you were crazy. He had no words, as he was completely stunned by this. He didn't move a muscle afterwards, as he just stared at you. He couldn't believe you just did that, as if you still cared about him.

The fact that he didn't immediately kiss you back should tell you, though, how he felt at the moment. He was…confused.

You pull away, noticing how absent he was. “What? Am I doing something wrong? Is this not relieving your stress anymore? Should I take it up a notch?” You were genuinely confused, why was he acting like this?

He had no words, as he was simply trying to wrap his head around what you were saying. "Take it up a notch? How much more do you want than kissing...than..."

He trailed off and didn't continue the sentence. He looked shocked, clearly not expecting the direction of the conversation to take a turn like this.

“Are you not used to it by now? Whenever you’re feeling frustrated, you’d always want this.”

"Used to it? I...you..." He was at a complete loss for words this time. After a moment, he cleared his throat. "You just...just don't care at all, do you?" He chuckled, before stopping again and looking at you seriously.

“Huh? We made an agreement? That you’d release your pent-up frustration on me?” You were lost at this point, wondering if he had bumped his head or something.

He paused for a moment, as he recalled the agreement that he had made with you. You're right...you're right...he had agreed to it...

"I...still...it feels wrong..." He trailed off again, as he wasn't really sure how to react to what you were saying.

You laughed a little, “You’re saying that now? After you and I have been doing it for months now?”

He was silent for a moment, as if he didn't want to admit it.

He was a little ashamed, in fact. He seemed embarrassed that what you had said was true. Eventually, he spoke again.

"...I guess you're right. We've been doing it for months already. I guess it's a little too late to back out of it now."

He paused again for a moment, before he continued speaking.

"...Well...in that case..."

He reached out towards you, before he softly kissed you, which you accepted.

He kept kissing you, before slowly pulling away.

His voice was softer now. There...I, uh, guess I released my frustration out...heh..." He laughed a little bit, trying to lighten the mood. But he didn't want any more, it just felt…weird.

You felt…weird too. Were you doing something wrong? Did he not like you anymore? “What’s wrong? Am I doing something wrong? You’re not usually this…hesitant.”

"No. You're not doing anything wrong."

He paused again, as he didn't want to say it.

He took a moment to think of how he would say this next. Then, he continued speaking.

"I'm just...I just feel like I'm taking advantage of you, in a way." He sighed. "It's not normal, at all. No one would allow themselves to be treated like this in a marriage. But...you still love me...despite all that..."

“…who cares? I allowed you to, anyway.” You say.

"And you would let me...let me do that to you every time I'm feeling frustrated? I...but..."

"Why would you let me do that to you Ayato was actually a little shocked that this wasn't bothering you, since it was obviously a concern for him. "What do you get out of it?"

You didn’t hesitate, you knew your answer. “I get to spend time with you.”

Hearing you say that, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He was taking advantage of you, after all, and yet...you would still care for him... He stared at you, as his feelings were mixed.

"I...so you don't care that you're being used like this...? That you're treated like..." He trailed off again, as he remembered the agreement.

"…a tool?"

You only nodded as you let out a blank but genuine “Sure.”

Ayato was in disbelief. He couldn't understand why you would allow him to treat you like this, or why it didn't bother you. "What is going on in your head?" He couldn't understand it at all. “...why don't you care that you're being used like this?" He spoke in a quiet voice, as he looked at you with a look of confusion and worry on his face.

You smile as you say, “…Because I love you.“

He paused for a moment, as he thought about it, before he finally responded, with a soft nod. "Right. You're right..." He sighed, seeming a little worried.

"I'll keep doing this, then. I'll keep taking advantage of you without any regrets...because...you seem to be okay with it..." He says, hesitantly.

“You okay?” Your head tilts in confusion.

"I'm fine. I'm just...still a little in disbelief about this." He looked at you with some concern as he lets out a chuckle. “H-How do you not find this weird...or wrong...or off-putting?"

He paused again for a moment, before he continued speaking. "I...I can't understand why you're okay with this. It's as if you're a masochist...and no one's supposed to be that much of a masochist..."

You shrug, answering honestly. It was about time he found out anyway.

“I used to find it weird…had a few regrets. But..I just didn’t want you to go back to your affairs…if this is what will make you stay…then so be it. I don’t care how rough you get, I don’t care how much you hate me. I just want you to stay. Even if this was just an arranged marriage. “

His heart broke at hearing those words, as he finally understood where you were coming from.

"What the fuck, Y/N..." Tears formed in his eyes, as his voice let out a shaky chuckle.

"I'm so sorry..." He didn't bother hiding his emotions anymore, as tears began to fall from his eyes.

“Wah! Why’re you crying?! Are you okay?” You were surprised, you hold him by the shoulder as you look up at him, trying to meet his gaze.

“You’re the one who should be crying!” He shouted. "You're the one who's been mistreated this whole time...and I don't see any tears coming from you..."

He sighed, trying to dry his tears away.

"Why are you okay with this..." He spoke in a soft voice, as he looked at you with a look of concern. He still felt guilty, of course.

You rubbed his back, still confused about what was happening. “Because I love you, why should I cry?”

He was stunned. He was confused at your words. You...you didn't mind being used and mistreated by him...

"Why...? You deserve better than that. Than me..." He trailed off, as he looked down, not wanting to meet your eye.

“…I don’t deserve better.” You utter.

“You do!” Ayato yelled. “I’m a fucking asshole! I took advantage of you! I did shitty things! And here you are, clinging to me, when you deserve so much better!”

“Then be better, Ayato!” You yelled back.

He looked at you in surprise, before he let out a nervous chuckle.

"Be better? How do you think I should do that?"

He shook his head.

"I don't think I could ever be better...not after all the terrible things I've done to you..." Tears were starting to fall from his eyes again.

"...I don't deserve you..."

You shook him by the shoulders, “Then do better to deserve me! I want no one else but you!”

He freezes as he looked into your eyes, shocked. There was only complete silence, before he softly kisses you.

You didn’t know how to feel at that point, but you could sense that…he was genuine for once.

He pulled away from the kiss, his eyes still streaming with tears as he looked at you. “I... I'll try my best to be a better man...for your sake..." He was crying, as he wiped his eyes clean. He couldn't believe what was going on.

"I'll try my best to become deserving of you...and your love..."

You sighed, hugging him, your my head on his chest. “Don’t cry.”

He sniffed, before wiping his tears once more. He tried to calm himself down, before finally hugging you back.

"I'm so sorry..." He said, as he nuzzled his head into you. "I'm so sorry that you still love me...after all of that..."

“Shhh, it’s okay..it’s okay…” you utter, rubbing his back.

He sniffled, as he nuzzled your head even further. He tried to calm himself down, so he didn't cry anymore.

"Just know... that I will protect you…”

"…I will protect you with my life."

As he spoke, he hugged you tighter.

“…I’ll deserve you one day…so please wait for me…”

A few years had passed, you and Ayato are still married. Well…now happily married. You had finally managed to come to an understanding, as he treated you with love.

He still made use of you when he was feeling frustrated, as you had agreed to it long ago. But now you understood each other. You understood exactly what each other wanted, and you wanted to be there for each other.

Even your children were happy, as you gave them so much love and affection.

Children? Oh yes…your nights of fucking paid off with 3 beautiful children.

You were a great family.

One night, as were putting your children to bed, you were carrying your youngest baby in your arms, cradling and rocking her to sleep. Ayato was tucking your two other children in bed. He watched as you rocked your baby to sleep.

Your baby looked so happy now. You also seemed to be having fun.

He smiled at seeing the scene, as he thought to himself.

"This is what happiness looks like...my family is happy..." He was glad to see that your family was all happy together. It made him realize just how lucky he was.

“Stop staring, Ayato.” You called out, feeling his gaze. “You getting emotional, hun?” you teased as you laid your infant down on their crib.

He raised an eyebrow, still smirking.

"Emotional?” He chuckled. "Am I?" He chuckled again, as he reached out, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.

"You're one to talk." He said, as he kissed you passionately, before finally breaking apart after a couple of seconds.

"I love you." He said with a smile, as he looked into your eyes, his own full of love and affection.

You smiled, “I love you, too.”

"Even though I've been using you all this time...you still love me? He looked deep into your eyes. He was so happy to hear that you loved him back. In fact, he thought maybe now was the right time... He leaned in for another kiss, as he spoke in a quiet voice. "Would you say...you'd do anything for me?”

You laughed “Yes, I would. Don’t tell me…you’re still thinking about our past, are you?”

He laughed to himself. How had you have known? "Well, I suppose I am, although I'm also thinking about our future..." He was silent, as he thought.

"You...you really would do anything for me? Just as you did back then...you're still willing to do that for me even now..." He paused for a moment, as he thought about what he would ask of you.

"You... you would marry me again... if I asked you to?"

You froze, looking up at him. “…What was that?”

"Did I stutter?"

He smirked.

"I'm...serious here..." He paused for a second.

"Would you...marry me again? Again, he paused for a moment. "After everything I've put you through..everything, and you'd still do it again..." He closed his eyes for a second, as he spoke softly. He couldn't imagine anything better than what he was about to ask for.

“I want to make this official. I don’t want to be married to you because our families want us to….”

“…This time, I want to marry you because I love you.”

"…So...will you...will you marry me?"

Well, Y/N? …Will you?

[cr4yolaas]

— til death do us ‘part . ayato x reader

synopsis . with your newfound illness, you cannot afford to make ayato shoulder the burden of the loss of his spouse — so you simply will not marry him. he decides against that.

warnings . Angst !!! rdr has an illness, emetophobia tw (detailed description of puking / vomiting), ooc ayato(?), descriptions of grief and loss, lots of heavy emotions between everyone

notes . tbh, idk much about ayato’s personality? maybe on-the-surface stuff, but not enough to be nitpicky about the little details. i just wanted to write this for him :) one of the quotes is inspired by “the metamorphosis”

late in the night, ayato found you hunched over the floor, with one hand gripping the nightstand and the other trembling violently against chapped lips that quivered just as much. an ungodly amount of blood spilled between your teeth, staining the premium tatami mat beneath the bed. his calls of your name, a name he made place for in his heavy heart, fell on deaf ears as you emptied out the crimson liquid alongside the contents of your stomach.

for once, the man was at a loss. kamisato ayato, the cunning, nimble, and perseverant head of the kamisato clan, was at a loss.

before his thoughts could collect themselves, he reached around his own nightstand for a handkerchief, desperate to stop your slow asphyxiation from the sheer amount of blood and vomit and other unidentifiable liquids you were heaving onto the floor. by the time the fabric reached your mouth, your incessant hacking had come to a halt.

your shallow breaths turned heavy as you gripped onto your partner’s shoulders. “i’m sorry,” you croaked out. “. . . for waking you. you need to rest. you have a lot of work tomorrow. sorry.”

each word was weaker than the last. ayato knew he was supposed to bring you to a doctor, to a healer, to anyone who was capable of helping you, but the only thing he could do in the moment was hold you close to his chest. the aqueduct of white-hot tears within him was threatening to collapse and bring forth a sorrowful fury neither of you could handle. for you, he remained silent.

——

ayato���s mind was filled with a sense of urgency for a reason he could not place. contrast to the anxiety trickling down his spine, cold and unnerving, a soft sheet of sunlight peered through the window, coating his bare skin with a warmth that encapsulated the youth of spring. such a peaceful morning.

when his weary gaze finally met your sleeping form, he became hyperaware of the reason for his unease. bits of dried blood and remnants of dinner last night were scattered around your lips. even while you rested, your brows were furrowed — not in an angry sense, but in the way your whole face would scrunch up when you were uncomfortable. and once the little details started to add up in his mind (which was still waking up), the big picture from last night became clear.

still donning his silk nightwear, ayato rushed down to the dining room, the fear in his eyes piercing through thoma’s warm smile.

a cacophony of shatters filled the estate.

——

three months.

that was what the doctor had told him.

the news was unbeknownst to you. you were only awake for the brief check-up before falling back into an ironically peaceful slumber.

while you rested, ayato sat before his now-cold breakfast. his thoughts were moving around his head faster than he could process them, each one more nonsensical and frantic than the last. at the forefront of his mind, he was contemplating how to inform you of your unavoidable demise. was lying the right choice, despite being morally cruel? should he serve your death sentence to you on a honey-coated silver platter? or maybe, serve it to you cold and blunt?

kamisato ayato was stumped.

to his sister, who sat across from him, it looked as if he had a vengeance against his food. with delicate hands, he tore apart pieces of his bread with a violence akin to the way he handled his criminals. each fruit slice was impaled with his fork, but the pieces never met his lips. to top it all off, his plate was smothered with runny egg yolks. an edible crime scene, thoma called it. all of which committed with a straight face.

it did not take an ounce of intelligence to see that he was drowning in his thoughts, so much so that it was killing him from the inside. neither sibling nor servant took the initiative to speak to him.

you woke up to your lover’s mess of a meal, a small upturn of your lips gracing your face as you took a seat next to him.

your lover, and soon, your husband.

the thought made your face heat up just a bit.

“what’s got you so focused?” you asked him while placing your own portion of food on your plate. it was a passing question, one made out of jest, really. regardless, it made ayato break.

“june,” he mumbled, his stare falling to his breakfast (or rather, the lack thereof). the pair on the other side of the table could only look down at their own meals, playing with and separating the food, as if their appetites had simultaneously vanished. you, on the other hand, were only looking at ayato, your brows furrowed as confusion slowly nestled itself in your stomach. again, he spoke under his breath, “yes, summer.”

“i’m not sure i follow. . . ? is something wrong?” genuine concern was etched onto your face. ayaka sucked in a heavy breath, her hands fiddling with the hem of her dress.

ayato made the decision.

“you have until june.”

——

there was something so tantalizingly slow about the way death peeked over your shoulders. akin to sunrise on a foggy day, it crawled up your bare skin, infecting every square inch of brittle bone. and all ayato could do was watch.

there were no known cures to your condition, and attempting to delay the rate of the infection through surgery or medication would prove to be more of a risk. you showed no interest in trying, anyways.

you had resigned yourself to his bed (not your shared bed just yet — you had yet to officially move in with him), which he paid no mind to. with little hope left in him, but all the affection for you remaining in his heart, he tried to make the best of what he had left of you.

it took him a week to finally approach you. when he did, he bore a bittersweet smile and a small pastry from the market in his hand — more specifically, your favorite pastry. but, as soon as your lips started to move, he wished he had been faster.

“let’s cancel the marriage.”

maybe, if he had sucked up the sorrow in his heavy heart just a day earlier, the thought wouldn’t have passed your mind. or maybe, if he hadn’t wallowed in his pool of guilt and despair at all, you would’ve much rather stayed with him til the very end.

he found himself frowning at your words. the plastic in his hand audibly crinkled from his grip, which only tightened slightly. “why?”

at his inquisition you looked away. it almost made him laugh, how you looked so much more alive when you weren’t facing his way. he noticed your hands reaching for bits of skin on your lips, peeling away with an unrivaled anxiety.

this was not your plan. you were hoping to distance yourself from him (and the rest of the world) gradually, so the final blow wouldn’t be too bad. so that, when the inevitable happened, he wouldn’t grieve too hard. in all honesty, when he broke the news to you, a wave of remorse and shame and disappointment washed over you. remorse, because you would be leaving behind a newlywed corpse. shame, for letting your body succumb to such an illness. disappointment, because you could not fulfill your lover’s wishes of sticking together until the very end. he had never asked for much, especially from you. the only thing he ever pleaded for was that you stay by his side. and you were unable to do something as simple as that.

you unleashed a heavy breath, one filled with such unfiltered emotion that it struck ayato hard. “i cannot promise you what you want. in the next three months, i’ll be nothing more than a expiring body on your bed. and when the wedding comes around, i will not be able to go. to my own wedding.” you sucked in another dose of thick air. “i cannot explain to you what is going on inside of me. i cannot even explain it to myself. it hurts. i don’t know what to do, but i do know that it’ll render me unable to stay by your side.”

you couldn’t count on your fingers the amount of stories you’ve heard of widows and widowers who lost themselves to grief over the loss of their spouse. the thought that ayato’s experience would add on to the list made your heart hurt.

with a grace he always seemed to embody, he approached the bed and sat beside you. strawberry-kissed fingers brushed against your knuckles, dry and blistered. “i won’t ask you to explain anything else to me,” he reassured you, his voice laced with velvet tones. “but i promise you, my dear, i will love and cherish you until your last breath, and until mine. there will never be a moment that goes by where you’re not in my heart. i am yours, and i wish for you to be mine equally.” with soft lips he pressed kisses to your skin, coating your dying soul in an asphyxiating amount of affection as he went from your forehead, down to your chin, down to your hands, and then your lips, chapped as they may be. every word he spoke held truth. “even if you are gone from this world, it’s still us against everyone else. i’ll give you that.”

[cynosfunnyjokes]

kinktober day 8

ship: ayato kamisato x reader

theme: semi-public/public sex/hair pulling

notes: ayato calls the reader “good girl” and i know i’m two days late i’M SORRY 💔 i’ve been sooooo busy but i plan to catch back up today! MINORS DNI, 18+ CONTENT.

word count: 524

gloved hands gripped at your locks of hair, yanking them as you were bounded into from behind. small grunts could be heard from ayato, but they were as controlled as the kamisato man usually was.

“if you keep being noisy, you’re going to get us caught.” his voice was deep, a warning lilt to it, “unless that’s what you want? for everyone to see how much of a whore you are for my cock?”

having not made it to the shared bedroom, you both decided on a vacant hallway after hours of teasing your partner. wiggling your ass when bending down to get something or even just the way you looked at it- it drove ayato mad until he quite literally dragged you off to the bedroom only to corner you against the wall in a hallway.

“ayato-“ you mewled, clenching around his cock. upper half-pressed to the cold wall, you could do nothing but press your hands to the surface to keep steady as he continued his brutal rhythm from behind.

said male wrapped his fingers around the base of your hair and yanked back, pulling your head back so your faces were merely inches apart.

nipping on your jaw, he then placed a gentle kiss there- a contrast to the hash grip of his hand in your hair and the brutal pace of his hips- but it was welcomed nevertheless.

“‘m close-“ you managed out shakily, trying to keep your voice down. private times with him were never usually quiet- but it was different now that you weren’t in the safety of the bedroom.

especially if a maid or even ayaka could walk by any moment.

oh, how ayato would’ve loved to tease you- to not let you cum and mess with you until you were nothing but a puddle of goo beneath his fingers. and his cock.

but time was of the essence, so he just nodded, nipping at your neck, “go ahead.” he murmured into the marked skin, “let go for me.”

lip caught between your teeth in an attempt to muffle any noises, you came, clenching hard around ayato’s cock. his hand stayed buried in your hair, pulling on it to give better access to your neck as he buried himself deep in you.

the warmth of his cum as thick white ropes of it filled your abused cunt made you mewl, a soft sound pulling from the back of your throat.

ayato placed gentle kisses on your neck, hand letting go of your hair, “good girl..” he murmured, looking at you.

the kamisato man was always attentive after such events like this- something you adored to no end. his eyes scanned you, looking for any noticeable problems before asking, “are you okay, my flower?”

you nodded, smiling softly, “i’m okay, ayato.” a pause, “however…”

“however?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“can we continue in the bedroom?” face flushing as you spoke, you turned your head slightly to look at him better.

ayato smirked before nodding, “your wish is my command.” he said in your ear before pulling out and lifting you up to carry you to the bedroom.

[burnedwriter]

Hiiii, I sae your last post and I was thinking... What about a s/o who talks a lot and is very loud and likes to make small talk whit everyone but as soon as they get in bed they are really shy and quiet :>

You can do the characters you want but I was thinking about al,ayato or cyno ☆ tyyyyyyyy

A/n:i decided to do all 3 of them bc i couldnt choose sooo,i hope you like it!

warning:mild spice but not too much,overall fluff,petnames,!gender-neutral reader

🌱al haitham

🌱he's the type of person to only talk when its necessery or to get the information that he needs for his research.Al haitham is very calm and collected unlike you who were all over the place and very extroverted person who has created friendship all across sumeru city.

🌱Al haitham was glad to have you though,your energy always brings a smile to his face,as you broke the boredom and akwardness that sometimes started to form when you two were sitting and collecting intel for research.

🌱After the two of you were finally in a relationship he came to realize that having a loud s/o had it's advantages from meeting new people and forming new friendship to making it easier to collect information since you already know the right people and everyone trusted you.

🌱but what really striked al haitham was how the sudden shyness you had when the both of you were left together,unlike how you were in the morning,it made him think that you were in reality only energetic and loud when you were aroud people.

🌱the first time you tried to cover yourself while you had a red blush run across your face.

''i'm sorry''said al haitham seeing that you pulled away and tried to cover yourself.

''i didnt mean to''he continued thinking he might have overstepped a boundary but after seeing you slowly uncover yourself with your hands,looking at him like a sheep ready to be devoured by the big bad wolf al haitham immediatly got it and came to realize why you became shy all of a sudden.Recollecting himself he spoke again.

''i want to hear what you want''his voice serious and commanding,he was going to have so much fun with you pushing your limits,to start making you talk or more specificly making you moan.

💧Ayato

💧Ayato loves your outgoing personality and ass the s/o of the yashiro commissioner,is a requirement to be a very talkative,he can always rely on you when it comes to taking to guests or other higher ups from other nations that came to visit since every possible person knows you in inazuma.

💧He was so happy to see you organise the festivals and do such a fantastic job that he dedicated that job to you.he also learns a lot from you during your small talks that happen after you come back from your little shopping sprees,he gets to know how things are going and if there are any things he has to take actions to or things that you like.

💧he really enjoys your company and how you keep the conversations constantly going as you jump from topic to topic,so you could imagine how shocked that you were in reality shy when it came to the bedroom,seeing your shyness unlike the person you were before,it made him smirk to himself.

''what happened dear~cat got your tongue~''he teased seeing your bushfull expression when his hand started to slowly glide up your inner thigh

''oh...oh i see~''he said as you were shaking like a leaf to his slightest touches and not responding to what he said,trying to focus your gaze somewhere else ayato realized what was going on.

dont expect the teasing to stop anytime soon,he wants to hear your pretty voices and he will do anything in the book to hear you beg for him.

⚖cyno

⚖Cyno is not a people person at all he prefers to stay alone or sit in silence most of the times as well as avoiding with people as much as possible,now a lot of people wondered how you two are together,both of you are the definition of night and day,unlike cyno are very loud and talkative person that loves constantly socializing and never seem to sit in one place.

⚖he enjoys passing your time with you when hes off duty and play games of tcg together ,he thinks that you make the game more entertaining,when he sees you get cocky as you are about to win just for you to loose.He also loves it when you let the most heart felt laugh when he tells you his cheesy jokes.

⚖So he was more than suprised that you were always loud like that and you changed to a more quiet person when it came to bedroom activities.Cyno was concerned the first time you did that seeing you all shy and quiet all of a sudden it made him think that he did something that you didnt like and accidentally made you uncomfortable with his touche.

''i didnt mean to''he said with reget in his voice,getting quickly off of you but he was quickly stopped by your hands as you pulled him back to his original position as you wrapped your legs around his waist

''please cyno i need you''you said your voice almost like a whisper,with red blush running across our cheeks upo realizing what you said.

''oh''suprise in his voice,collapsing any questions he had before about what he was doing,maybe thats how you were behind closed door and thats why it was so sudden,he will make sure to take good care of you and try to push you to see how flustered you can get as he loves seeing you like that,he could almost feel himself smug every time he turns you into a moaning mess and removing all that shyness you had before

[kamisatomay018]

Until We Reunite..

A Kamisato Ayato Fanfiction

Warnings: modern au, mentions of character death and violence, angst to fluff, hurt/comfort, reincarnation themes. Ayato x fem!reader (reader is named Sakura)

This one’s gonna be pretty long!

“A..Ayato…” you whispered softly, voice broken with pain as you reached out your bloodied hand towards your husband, tears streaming down your cheeks. “S..Sakura..forgive me..I couldn’t..protect..” he cried softly, barely managing to crawl towards you, holding your hand. Both of your bodies were filled with slashes and wounds, blood spilling uncontrollably ruining the expensive silk clothes that once shone brightly, adorning you both. You both knew this was the end, that you both were going to die. At least by the grace of God, you would die together. You weakly reached out your other hand to him, cupping his cheek. “Don’t..blame yourself my love..this is not your fault..nor is this the end of our love.” His pain filled amethyst eyes stared at you, somehow trying to pull you closer despite how badly wounded he was. “Will we meet each other again, perhaps in a better time?” He whispered weakly, not wishing to part with you. How cruel fate was, snatching away his happiness from him just when he had found it. You mustered up a small smile, nodding as you felt your energy being drained away, your heartbeats fading into nothingness. “I promise..we will find each other again in another life. I am forever bound to you, Kamisato Ayato..” Taking deep ragged breaths, he managed to place a last kiss on your forehead, holding you close as his own life force started giving away. “Until we reunite my love..” And just like that, you both breathed your last, buried in a bloodied embrace and an unfulfilled promise..

500 years later

There he stood, as elegantly as ever, his messy blue hair, classy outfit and AirPods in his ears. His bag hung loosely down his right shoulder as he stood leaning against the wall, engrossed in his phone completely unaware of the number of girls fangirling over him, their eyes dreamy and filled with daydreams of this immaculate man, or so they thought. After all, Kamisato Ayato was the smartest boy in college. You too, were no different except the fact that you were way more subtle and decent than the other girls present around. You had been crushing over Ayato for around 2 years now, but of course you could never confess. He was the epitome of perfection, class and elegance, and he was no doubt very rich. Yet his demeanour was that of a gentleman, he was eloquent and an excellent student. It wasn’t like you were just some random student, on the contrary you were beautiful yourself, but you were very different. Unlike everyone else, you preferred a simplistic lifestyle, without any makeup or heavy accessories. You were always clad in simple yet classy clothes, and never attended college parties or fests. Being around crowds was just not your cup of tea, you would much rather spend that time in the library, reading about ancient civilisations and historic records. You were a history major after all, while he was a business management student.

In your eyes, you both were worlds apart. You weren’t as rich as him, not were you as popular as him. You both were…acquaintances at best, having collaborated twice when he, to your utter surprise, had requested your help in his project. He wished to show in his detailed project the future prospects of creating devices that can decipher ancient texts and inscriptions. His particular interest was in the ancient civilisation of Narukami, which had fallen to a Great War. He needed someone who could provide him with honest feedback on his idea, and after doing his own research, he decided that you were the most capable person for the job. You were a top student in your major, and had done multiple research papers on inazuman history. You still remember the way your infatuation had just grown during the time you were helping him, but alas, all good things must come to an end, and so did your collaboration. Ever since then, you both never had the chance to interact, except sharing courteous smiles when bumping into each other in the corridors.

Sighing softly, you shook yourself out of your thoughts. “He can’t be yours Sakura!” You kept reminding yourself, making your way to the library. It was way better to distract yourself in reading than get distracted by the handsome features of Ayato. Walking through the isles of your large campus library, your eyes searched for a book you had been waiting for, ‘The Tales Of Narukami’, which had become a best seller recently. Your eyes lit up as you found the book, but then you mentally groaned seeing the book kept so high up in the rack. “Oh for god’s sake..” you mumbled, standing on your tip toes to try and reach the book, but to your dismay, you could not reach it. As you were about to give up, you saw an elegant hand easily grab the book, adorned with a gold and platinum ring, and a limited edition Rolex.

“Here you go.”

Oh gosh you knew this voice all too well. The same deep voice that gave you butterflies in your stomach, the same voice that made your heart skip a beat and the same voice you yearned to hear every single day. You turned around to face him, gasping softly at the close proximity between you two as you timidly reached out to take the book, trying not to blush right in front of him. What you didn’t notice was the way Ayato’s amethyst eyes flickered with amusement and adoration. Ah if only you knew how adorable you looked with your pink cheeks. “Thank you so much Ayato.” You mustered the courage to look into his gorgeous lavender eyes that shown ever so brightly. Gosh he was so perfect, so tall and handsome, leaning over you effortlessly. “Don’t mention it Sakura.” He gave you his charming smile, stepping back leaving space between you both. You immediately felt this sense of disappointment as his warmth and scent left you, but you were careful not to let it show.

You smiled softly, heading to an empty table in a corner of the library and to your utter confusion, Ayato followed you, sitting right in front. “I do hope you don’t mind me taking some of your time? There are a few things I wish to discuss with you.” He spoke, his voice soft and eyes tender as he gazed at you. “Oh of course not, please tell me what it is that you wish to discuss.” You watched as he placed his hands on the table, adjusting his posture. “Well then- I will not beat around the bush. I wish to…take you out on a date.” What? What did he just say? It was very clear by your expressions that you were absolutely dumbfounded. Ayato found it so endearing that he wished he could click a picture and save it for himself. “Huh?” Was the only thing that you could say. Were you dreaming? Your absolute crush was asking you out on a date?

Ayato let out an amused chuckle as he nodded, ever so gently holding your delicate hand into his larger and warm one. “I know this may seem very sudden, but truth be told, I have been infatuated by you for quite some time now..So Sakura, will you do me the honour of being my date?” That’s it, you could no longer hold back your smile. You blushed profusely, butterflies swarming your being as this moment felt like a dream come true. “I…I would love to Ayato..” His smile visibly brightens, making him look heartbreakingly handsome. Of course, he knew you would say yes, but hearing you say it felt even more surreal. “I am truly delighted to hear that. If you are free this Saturday, I can arrange something that will definitely be to your liking.”

You smiled shyly, nodding. “Saturday sounds good.” “Great! Well then how about you give me your number, and I’ll come to pick you up on Saturday?” You became flustered at how gentlemanly he was, stuttering. “Oh! You..you needn’t go through so much trouble-“ He holds you hand again, silencing your words. “It is no trouble, it is but proper etiquette. Besides, where I’m gonna take you will be a little surprise~” You ended up giggling shyly, and your melodious giggles made Ayato’s heart flutter. Eventually you agreed, giving him your number and assuring him that you’ll send him your address. “Well then I’ll take my leave, my class is about to start. I’ll see you soon Sakura.” “Goodbye Ayato!” You smiled happily at him, waving sweetly as he left.

You still could not believe what had just happened. You got up, issuing the book to be borrowed as you headed home, feeling so giddy and excited. The whole day you lay in bed, kicking your feet like an excited child. Just then you heard your phone’s notification, and to your delight, it was Ayato. You quickly opened his texts, a smile adorning your features.

“Hey, it’s me, Ayato. I hope you got home safely.”

“Hello Ayato, and yes, I did reach home safely.” urgh, how is he this perfect and such a gentleman??

“I am glad to hear that. And I am looking forward to seeing you again.”

“So am I.. ah which reminds me, here’s my address!”

“Noted, I’ll be there by 4 pm. Dress up a little, I’m taking you somewhere fancy.”

“What- Ayato you don’t need to!”

“Oh hush, it’s nothing. I want you to have the best date ever. After all, first impressions matter~”

“No need to worry about that Mr. Kamisato, you’ve already made an excellent first impression..”

The next 2 days pass by in a flash, only this time, you saw Ayato way more frequently as he would come to visit you in the library, listening to you fondly as you talked animatedly about the history of Inazuma. He loved the way your eyes shone due to how passionate you were about the subject, and your knowledge impressed him. Likewise, he would also share his interests with you, once even bringing his favourite boba tea for you. The increasing closeness between you both had become a hot topic for gossip at college, as a lot of girls envied you, and a lot of guys envied Ayato. Oh well, neither of you cared as your feelings for one another kept blossoming.

Saturday arrived finally, and you looked at yourself in the mirrror, wearing a beautiful floral dress with stilettos and your hair down. Grabbing your wallet and phone you rushed outside hearing a car honk, which was probably Ayato. Upon stepping outside, your eyes landed on the immaculate man seated in the car, wearing a black shirt with black pants, his hair falling gracefully on his right shoulder. Oh he looked so good that you couldn’t handle it. He was indeed God’s finest creation, each feature of his perfect self crafted with care and time. You smiled shyly, sitting in the car beside him.

Ayato meanwhile, was completely awestruck by your beauty. You looked so magnificent that all he wanted to do was wrap you in his arms and kiss you until you were breathless, he just wanted to make you his girlfriend already. “You look…so beautiful Sakura..simply stunning..your beauty always amazes me.” You blushed at his words, and to his delight your cheeks turned as pink as the flowers on your dress. “Thank you Ayato, you look reallly handsome too..” He chuckles at your words as you both set off for your destination. “Why thank you. Now as for our destination..Well have you ever heard of the Grand Narukami Museum?” Your eyes widened in disbelief at his words. “What..no way..Ayato that is the biggest and most sought after museum! Its tickets are literally impossible to get! How did you even-“

Ayato simply laughs at your babbling, shaking his head. “It was not that difficult really, my mother is a trustee of that place. When I told her that my date was such a master at history, she was more than pleased to let me take you there. I figured you would enjoy being there.” You felt your heart melt, and you swore you just fell so in love with him. “Oh Ayato..I cannot thank you enough..I’ve dreamed of going to this museum!” “Is that so? Well then, I’m going to fulfil many such dreams of yours, if you’ll let me.” You blush once again, nodding “I would like nothing more than that..” He smiles at your words, gently holding one hand of yours, intertwining it with his. You felt instant shivers at his soothing touch, his warm and larger hand engulfing your giving you a strange feeling of safety and comfort. How was he able to have such an effect on you already?

After a while the car stopped as you both reached the biggest museum in all of Inazuma, one where getting entry was next to impossible for a common person due to the precious and mysterious artefacts present here. It is said that there are countless precious objects from the ancient Narukami civilisation that archaeologists and historians have still not been able to classify. You still could not believe that you were getting a chance to see this place for yourself. “Shall we M’lady?” ayato’s soothing voice snapped you out of your trance as he offered you his arm like the gentleman he was. “Yes, yes we shall..” holding his arm gently, you both made your way inside. Upon spotting Kamisato Ayato, the guards and staff bowed to him, as you both reciprocated the action. “Sir Kamisato, we welcome you. Everything you had requested has been arranged. We hope you both have a wonderful time.” He nods with a polite smile “You have my utmost gratitude.”

As you two made your way inside the museum, a soft gasp left your mouth due to how much you were in awe of this place. “Oh my god…this is..beyond beautiful..” Ayato smiles at you, not disturbing your train of thoughts, rather choosing to admire you in this moment. He loved how you gained happiness from such simple and knowledgeable things rather than materialistic ones. You were unique in his eyes, and the fact that you stood out from the crowd drew him towards you. He showed you around the museum, your enthusiasm was contagious as you excitedly spoke about all the relics you recognised, even leaving the staff of the museum in awe of your knowledge. “Miss, your extensive knowledge is truly remarkable. We have never seen someone identify these objects so quickly.” The manager spoke, making you flush. “Ah I..i just am very interested in the history of our land that’s all..” Ayato chuckles at your modesty, holding you closer with affection. “She is indeed extraordinary..”

The two of you had a lot of fun there, as your bond only seemed to grow stronger. The last section of the museum was the portraits of the rulers of the ancient civilisations, which was an area not many were allowed to see. But since you were with Ayato, anything was possible. “This is the final section of our tour I believe.” Ayato spoke, his eyes roaming around the countless portraits. “Oh my…these are all original paintings from back then!” You left Ayato’s side to walk ahead, eyes shining. He chuckled too, walking behind to a section of paintings.

As you were walking, you came across a portrait that made you stop dead in your tracks. There stood a man, wielding a hydro sword and dressed in expensive silk robes, his blue hair and lavender eyes staring right into you. What on earth was Ayato’s portrait doing here? The resemblance was almost terrifying, making you turn around and look at Your Ayato, who was admiring a painting of the Grand Narukami Shrine. You stepped closer to the painting, reading the details. “Kamisato Ayato, head of the Kamisato Clan and Yashiro Commissioner of Inazuma. Murdered along with his wife in 1530 at the age of 28..” How come you had never read about this man anywhere? And…why on earth is he the exact same like the man you’re on a date with? The name, the features, everything…You stared up at the portrait again, and an unexplainable ache took over your heart, tears filling your eyes. It felt like you knew him, like you missed him dearly. You felt connected to him. But why?

Meanwhile, Ayato walked towards a portrait that made him stunned, as he froze on the spot. It was..you. A painting of you, only..you were dressed in a beautiful silk kimono embroidered with threads of gold, your hair made in an elegant bun. Your eyes were gentle, an expression of authority and elegance was visible on your face. What..what in Teyvat was going on? He searched for details of the portrait, reading softly. “Kamisato Sakura, First Lady of the Kamisato Clan and wife of the Yashiro Commissioner, Kamisato Ayato. Murdered in 1530 with her husband at the age of 26..” wait what? Kamisato Sakura? The name, the face, everything was the same. That was undoubtedly you, but how? And the Yashiro Commissioner had the same name as him? He looked at the portrait again, and winced as a dull pain struck his head. Countless emotions flowed through him the longer he stared at the portrait. Guilt, agony, anger, grief…

“Ayato..”

“Sakura!”

You both spoke at the same time, facing one another. You both were shocked again to see portraits of people who looked just like you, the resemblance so uncanny that it left you both speechless. “Ayato look..” you pointed at a portrait of the Kamisato couple, standing together in all their glory wrapped in a gentle embrace. Their eyes were full of love for one another, the joy visible on their faces. At that very moment the world spun around as you winced at the sudden headache you got, closing your eyes as countless memories flooded through your mind like an untold story forgotten in time..

“Do you take Kamisato Ayato to be your husband for all eternity?”

“Yes, I do”

“And do you take Kujou Sakura to be your wife for all eternity?”

“Yes, always.”

Ayato’s amused eyes flickered towards you, the all too familiar teasing smile adorning his features. “Daarin, how long do you plan on staring at me hm?” You blushed at his words, getting up to adjust his clothes and help him put on his coat. “Is it a crime for me to admire my husband Lord Kamisato?~” his melodious laughter filled your ears, as he held you close, placing a loving kiss on your forehead. “Of course not Lady Kamisato, I am all yours.”

“Ayato come on, take a break my love, you seem so tired. Let me make you a cup of tea.” He gave you a grateful smile, looking visibly tired from all the paperwork. “Thank you Daarin, you’re right, I should take a break..”

“I’m home my beloved!” “Ayato!! Welcome home, how was your trip to Watatsumi island?” He smiled lovingly, embracing you as he inhaled your scent. “It was successful, negotiations have been going smoothly.” You snuggled closer to him, basking in his warmth. “I’m so proud of you! Her excellency will be very pleased to hear this.”

“I love you Kamisato Sakura.”

“I love you eternally too Kamisato Ayato..”

“Sakura!! No, please don’t hurt her, leave her alone!” Ayato begged for the first time, crying as the enemies stabbed you, making you fall onto your knees, gasping for air. “NO!!” He shrieked, wanting to reach out to you but alas, the enemies surrounded him, enjoying the agony of the Yashiro Commissioner. He fought endlessly, his body filled with slashes and wounds, but it was of no use. In the end, he lost, thrown to the ground near you, bleeding profusely. “A..Ayato..” you whispered brokenly, reaching out your bloodied hand to him.

How cruel fate was, only giving you both 4 years of bliss until you both were brutally murdered on that fateful night, ending the legacy of the Kamisato Clan and the Yashiro Commission. That was how the downfall of the great empire of Inazuma began, as the two lovers breathed their last, dying in one another’s embrace with a promise left to fulfill…

You gasped audibly, tears falling down uncontrollably as all the memories of your past life came rushing back to you. As you blinked through your tears, you noticed you were sitting on the floor, embraced in a tight hug by Ayato, who also seemed to be crying endlessly. All the memories had come back to him, making him fearful of losing you again. It felt like yesterday when he saw you getting stabbed and kicked away, while he was helplessly surrounded by countless enemies. Both of you stayed like that for a long time, embracing each other as you shed tears for your past life, for all the memories you could have made if only you had lived. Tears that symbolised love, pain, loss and now, a fulfilled promise.

“Ayato..” you spoke after a long while, looking up at him. Now it felt so different, now it felt like you had known him all your life. You cupped his cheek softly, wiping away his tears just like you had all those centuries ago. “Dont blame yourself..” He cried bitterly, caging you in his arms. “It was all my fault, I could not protect you..everything was lost..we could have had so many more memories..” You smiled sadly, making him look into your eyes. His tear filled amethyst eyes hurt your soul, as you brushed his hair away. “We have an entire lifetime to make memories now. I told you, my soul is bound to you..that was not the end of our love. Look, we found each other again..” Those words put a smile on his face as he nodded, hugging you closer than ever. “Yes..our promise has now been fulfilled. We are reunited my love, and this time I promise, no one will ever come in between us and our love. This time, I’ll protect you until the end of time..”

As you both sat there, embraced in the safety and warmth of your arms, the portrait in front of you glowed, the smiles of your past selves widening a little. Your love was unending, having the power to transcend time. After all, your wedding vows to each other were that you would love one another for every eternity.

[voiths]

☾Genshin Characters showing affection ☽

𑁍 Warnings: None 𑁍

𑁍 Characters featured: Venti, Zhongli, Raiden Shogun, Xiao, Kamisato Ayato 𑁍

❥ Venti

Would take you on a flight with dvalin high up in the class and show you teyvat

Wherever u want to go he’ll take you there

He’ll bring you little souvenirs from around the whole world

Jewelry, wine, food whatever u want you will get

If u want to he’ll let you braid his hair and in return he will braid yours and put little dandelions in it

❥ Zhongli

Whatever u desire it will be yours no matter the price no matter the cost

He would move mountains for you if u told him you don’t like the way they look

Will always make sure to have at least someone around to protect you and make sure you’re safe

If anyone even dares to lay a finger on you he will make them suffer for eternity and make them regret their decisions

❥ Raiden Shogun

She found out once that u really like muffins so she tried her best to bake them

She might have failed miserably but you appreciated a lot and thanked her multiple times

After that she just sticks to buying muffins for you or letting people bake them for you

(Though she did ask Yae Miko to show her how to bake muffins)

Just like the other archons whatever you desire it will be yours

She will get whatever you want and she doesn’t care what she needs to sacrifice to do so

❥ Xiao

He doesn’t show affection very openly but when he does it’s always very sweet

With his observant nature he’ll notice immediately if you’re not doing well or feel ill

If you keep on being persistent that you’re doing fine he’ll make sure to help you with whatever you’re doing

When you ask him why he is helping you he’ll just tell you that he wants to make you happy

Also whoever you want gone they will be gone in an instant without you even telling him to do so

❥ Kamisato Ayato

He would be the type to be really physically affectionate in public

Holding your hand and walking you to wherever you need to go even if it's a few blocks away

Having his arm around your waist when someone is trying to flirt with you or making you uncomfortable in any way

People will know you are his which is good because a lot of creeps stay away from you but it also puts you in danger a lot of times but he doesnt mind having to kill a hundred man if it means you are safe

Masterlist

[moonsaver]

Are requests still open? Can I request where Ayato likes y/n but they are new to Inazuma and do not know of his status?

I hope this makes sense, english is not my first language

Hello anon, requests were open when you sent this ask, no worries haha. Your english seems great! Its not my first language either, so i understand the struggle.

My first genshin ask, i think!

--

It's almost similar to when Ayato had discovered thoma.

Although technically speaking not many details are enclosed to the public, and Thoma was in a more desperate situation once he arrived to Inazuma.

You, on the other hand, are intriguing. You come to Inazuma for whatever reason, but given your lack of research, or rather lack of deciphering skills, it seems you hadn't realised just who Ayato was. It was obvious to him from the moment he met you walking up a path, looking wondrously at quite possibly everything. Ayato suggested you both walk along after greeting himself, and makes pleasant conversation.

It only dawns on him when you mention all the things you've heard in passing about the tri-commissions, particularly the "Yashiro Commissioner rascal", as some had.. fondly mentioned. His eyes only widened for a split second when he heard so, but judging from your tone, he understood you had no idea who he was.

It was comical. Reminded him of a certain oni, but you were far more gentle, evidently. He enjoys your innocence to a degree, and he finds you make for great company due to your ignorance. It's strange – had it been an arrogant, stuck up official who said such things, he would have pulled his lips into a thin, tight smile before cutting a few taut strings, pushing the man onto his knees, physically and metaphorically. It was you who he didn't just tolerate, but enjoyed being around. You were pleasant, and easy to talk to.

He never realised just how much he would enjoy having such a grounding conversation with someone where they were absolutely unaware about his status. It's refreshing. He still takes precaution, however. Information is very sensitive. And neither can he really shield you from the whole of Inazuma.

So.. he enjoys your innocence about his status while it lasts. Offers to take you around Inazuma for frequent strolls, proposing comical ideas and telling you all sorts of stories about his cooking experiences, beetle battles, unlikely friends. It's not too long until someone generously decides to inform you of his status, but his insistence that you treat him just as you did before, seems to have provided you with a strange privilege only exclusive to you..

[tihgnari]

ꕤ 49. the grim reaper

LOWKEY » previous : masterlist: next

a kamisato ayato social media au

summary — it was only recently you found out kamisato ayaka was, in fact, not an only child after all! seeing ayato for the first time gave you the severest case of the butterflies but according to ayaka, he's off limits, especially to you as her most treasured friend. well, what she doesn't know won't hurt, right?

notes — aaaaaa i missed our grim reaper :< HAHAHA

🏷️ i. @rinrinchin @nejibot @violettee @katsumikumo @starryeyedkoko @xingqiusliegee @boxdisappeared @lovelyycherries @love6cks @venderretta @kiyowoir @luvvmeilin @blackberri-jelli @moonlightbge @kazooms @tricethecharm @lynnforever @kaedear @xiaoisahawtie @crowbird @apotatouwu @xinii @euryrue @aequha @nuttytani @plinkuro @aixaingela @milesluvrrad @windasteriaa @cherrytomato2 @zannivrs @eishtar @wccycc @ceylestia @sweet-almonds @queenaveryrules @veyu002 @ukinya @adeptusx @x-xxiaos @loveyoutothestars @salamanderr @levermilion @mykyoon

[komorim]

to generations after us

-> kamisato ayato x f!reader

[ synopsis. ] a while has passed since the death of your husband, and everything seemed to have changed but nothing seemed to have changed at the same time. your routine and life will always be constant, yet the scenery and people of inazuma will never be identical to the ones before. and neither will your heart.

‣ when the sky weeps ⋮ find the masterlist here !!

[ content warnings. ] character death. reader has children with ayato. angst. mentions of suicide. suicidal thoughts. there’s not a lot to say; it’s not dark content. reader is a kitsune from japanese folklore.

[ word count. ] 1.7k

[ author’s note. ] hooray! the first one shot of my pair of one shot collections! i’m starting to regret making myself suffer through writing twelve oneshots, but it is what it is :p please bear in mind that updating of the collections won’t be very fast (like any of my updates :x) but i will try to upload two at a time, one for each collection. i originally planned on having the initial upload be four one shots so you all have something to read while i’m cooking up the rest, but i only got three done and i decided to just post one first :x

day one, day two, day three. how many days has passed was originally clear to you at first, but then there came one point in time that you lost track. when you lost track of the number of days passed since one of the biggest milestones in your ever lasting life.

since the day your husband, the love of your life, the father of your children, had passed away.

looking back on it now, you don't believe that your life had much of a change after his death. after all, it wasn’t your first time experiencing loss. yet this time was somewhat different. it wasn’t just a friend or a mortal you had attachment to that passed. no. it was your husband, the one who who married you, the one you mothered children with, the one you gave your heart to.

the first couple of days were dreadful, trying to comfort your children from the pain of losing their father and having to deal with awful words thrown at you because you haven’t shed a tear.

but what do they know?

as a mother, how could you make your children worry for you when they’re already mourning? how could you cry your heart out and voice your desire to die with him? you didn’t have the liberty of doing so.

so you could only resort to silently weeping as your hand rests over what was once ayato’s side of the bed. in the middle of the night, all you could think about was how regretful you were that you weren’t by his side, how you couldn’t hear his last words nor caress his face like you once did one last time. yet after weeks of barely sleeping, you still had to act as if you were okay in order to not raise the attention of your children.

though day by day, you continue such behavior and the negativity that surrounds you only grows.

seeing the kamisato estate as it was before, the same the last time you saw ayato slowly crumbled your will into pieces. you can almost see him in the shadows, smiling at you as he calls you to come join him for dinner, frowning as he scolds your laziness, smirking as he looks at your flushed face when he walks out of the shower half naked, humming as he walks down the hallways.

it’s all too familiar.

everything and anything reminds you of him. his cologne is still placed in the same place last time he used it. his toothbrush still sits in the stand next to yours. his coat still hangs by the door. his shoes still rest on the rack.

nothing seems to have changed, but everything did.

the streets on inazuma city still look the same as when you and him last went on a date. your favorite food stand is still selling your usual order. the trees are still in full blossom.

yet your loving commissioner isn’t there anymore.

how are you supposed to keep pretending? how are you supposed to reassure your children again and again that you’re taking his death well when that red moving object in your chest cavity has long withered and died?

how can you hug them and looks at them when their features resemble half of his?

you had missed him too much, and wanted to feel him and smell the scent of him terribly. you wanted to hug him, and kiss him, and ask for him to comfort you as he always did. then your attention fell onto the the white coat he wears everyday. it was bound to be covered in his scent, and after contemplating whether it was worth it to destroy the way he left things, you gave in to the urge.

bringing the coat back to the bed, you cuddled up to it and hugged it tightly, breathing in the faint scent of ayato. the crumpling of paper you heard was odd, knowing that it wasn’t a sound a normal coat was supposed to make. and when you pulled out the now slightly wrinkled envelope, tears started to pool in your eyes when you recognized the familiar penmanship.

you opened the seal carefully, not wanting to destroy the last thing he left you, and you pulled out the piece of paper that has already aged. it made you wonder how long ago he had first wrote this.

how long ago was he expecting his abrupt end.

my dear, the love of my life, my darling fox,

you hadn’t even begun to read its contents before a choked sob forced its way through your throat, emotional already at the mention of his pet names for you. names that you loved to hear.

how are you doing? probably not so good since you most likely are reading this after the news of my death. you can almost hear his light chuckle. i once remember you asking me why it is that i started to keep one hand in my pocket out of habit. now you probably know why. even without me telling you, you were always so very smart and perceptive. which was why it made me so nervous trying to keep this letter a secret. as your beloved husband, i know i shouldn’t be keeping secrets from you, but i had to. i knew you’d give me an earful if you knew about me writing such a letter when i’m “so young and have many years ahead of me.” but i had to write something like this soon. because who knows when i might die? the thought of it breaks my heart as well, but we both knew this would happen one day. after all, i am a mortal. if i had the choice, i would sell my soul and more to obtain immortality, since how could i bear to just leave you one day? but it’s the inevitable truth that my end will definitely come before yours. so i keep looking, keep staring at your face and features, trying to engrave them into my mind and heart and soul so that i never forget you even long after i’ve passed. even as i write this, i often glance up at your sleeping features on the bed. how beautiful you are. and how it saddens me to imagine those beautiful features i love distort into pain and grief. which is why i hope i can stay longer, just a bit longer. one more minute, one more hour, one more day. i hope that with my presence, i can make you smile for that much longer. though i understand that your smile from the day i die on will probably only be for the sake of presentation. to reassure, to comfort. after all, you never truly smiled until you fell in love with me. and that’ll always be the proudest achievement of my life. but please, don’t be too saddened by my passing. i understand the love you harbor for me, but please don’t let it be the reason you’re awake at night. a mortal’s life is short compared to yours, and you still have many years, many decades, many centuries. without me, you still have our children, and their children, and their children, and many generations after. you are never alone, my love. and there will be much, much more people in the future who will love and accompany you as i did.

the letter wasn’t complete, since you had a habit of calling him to bed every time he stayed up working. but you knew the purpose that the letter was supposed to serve. to make you feel better. but the day by day torture and regret that you put yourself through has already put you into an abyss so deep that a simple farewell letter couldn’t pull you out.

you became secluded, just like how your life was before a certain kamisato rudely interrupted.

he swept in, rescuing you from fox hunters when he was no better. the hunters wanted your life, and him making you fall in love and then leaving is no different. and the more you think about it, the more resent grows, and the moment of comfort that the letter brought you was long forgotten.

he wooed you with his sweet words and warm smile until you willingly handed him your heart. and then he left you alone, just like nothing had happened. but what was worse was that he didn’t just leave, no, he took your heart with him too.

you were used to loneliness for centuries. you enjoyed the leisurely life you had. but now that you’ve seen happiness, seen companionship, seen love, how were you supposed to go back to your previous life?

it’s cruel. what he did was unforgiving. and asking you not to despair? it was selfish.

he was alike a caretaker that has made an animal dependent on him and then pushed them back into the wild. a caretaker that stripped the abilities of hunting and survival from a wild animal before abandoning them once again. a caretaker that rescued an animal in need before blowing out the fire of hope.

how could he? more importantly, how are you going to survive without your caretaker? you’ve grown used to it all in this habitat that you loved, and now you can’t imagine a life without him.

you’ve grown miserable, resentful, to the point that you can’t help but want to tell him that you’ll never forgive him for the rest of your life.

but you can’t. you love him too much, gave him your all and more. he’s the man you loved, the first and only man you loved, and the one that loved you the most. how could you ever have it in your heart to hate him? how could you hate someone that first thought about you when the idea of their own death comes into mind?

one moment you’re screaming, sobbing from all the pain and anguish, and the next you’re begging for something, somewhere, that they could bring him back to you.

because without her caretaker, the silly fox that already gave her heart away would die in the wild.

do not copy or repost my works. likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated.

[tokyoyumeeee]

come home

cw: nsfw under the cut, toxic relationship

Your eyes were rolled back and your hands gripped the edge of the glass table. The wires in your mind felt tangled and clouded by the heat of the moment. He thrusted his digits in and out of your roughly, wearing a smug grin. “Cant stay mad at me, hm? I mean I can see why,” he murmured into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You could hear the smirk in his voice. That smug bastard. Yet each time you kept running back to him like a wandering cat. Running away just to return back home. With each drama, you vowed to never return to him. What a liar you were. “F…fuck you…” you managed to spit. Shame burned and tinted your face, but your clit was practically dripping with arousal. “Come down baby. You know you can’t stay mad at me, and you know we’re meant for each other. So relax and let go,” he pressed chaste kisses to your jaw, slowing his pace. Your legs trembled and your body felt like it was on fire. You tried to form a coherent reply for your retort, but only a string of incoherent babbling came out. You were nearing your climax and he knew it. You both also knew that you were about to pass out. “You always come running back into my arms, doesn’t this tell you something? Rest baby, you’re home,”

-GOJO, childe, DAZAI, pantalone, ayato, FYODOR