#i am glad. i told him that it is
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Explanation for a thing below: sometimes, when iterator is just made, ancients paint X on their forehead. Because i think thats neat
It stays for a loong time, tho slowly fades
#my dad looked at (sketch)pebbles and asked “thats an ant :)?”#i am glad. i told him that it is#rain world#rw#rw five pebbles#rw fp#rw no significant harassment#rw nsh#i think i have a special place in my heart for screen-faced nsh lol. always love seeing designs like that-#-and I couldn't help but draw him that way myself#also sig's colours made me suffer. it's always such a struggle for me to colour them. but i like the result so it was worth it#pmpwbrrs
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#not to be a broken lil man on main#but I was on the phone with my dad for 30 minutes just now (that's a lot for a phone call with him) and like.... damn. yeah. i do have one#parent who's not horrible huh#we talked a lot about my plans for the future...... which I only now told him bcs scary and bcs........ I never ever during my 25 years of#being alive got the impression from my parents that something like this would be an acceptable career choice or something they'd support#and I mean. my [redacted] of a mother is the best example for how. not alright it is with her that I'm doing something that's not very...#traditional for this family#but anyways. my dad was absolutely fucking lovely#to the point that I get getting teary eyed and felt my throat closing up cause. huh. i guess in his own way he does love me and believe in#he asked me to send him a link or a pdf of my first conference report because he wants to keep it somewhere 😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm....... ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch#you know the ghosting I am really good at with tumblr chats (sorry guys. ilu. I just suck at communication)???? i'm also extremely good at#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones#so idk. hearing him say he understands and just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with him and like. wanted to know if I was doing okay.#damn. okay. damn#idk#this was such a good talk and he was so suppertive and non-judgemental and I actually told him about my birthday and how my mother's call#upset me and he was like. yeah. same. and like... he's basically gone no contact with her as well as it turns out#idk. I really should give him more credit and like... I feel like there's so much shifting and change and development happening while I'm n#not there and sometimes it's hard to remember that he actually /could/ understand some things. just cause I've always been so used to not#sharing anything about myself because it wasn't safe when I was younger and... idk........ lots of emotions going on rn#so glad we talked though. so glad#simon.out.#if you read all this.... idk man.... sorry for oversharing but thanks for caring ig <3
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Not to start shit, if you know me you know I'm a "ship and let ship" kinda gal and saying this I truly have no problem with James/Orla as a ship it harms no one and plenty of people like it, I like people having fun... that said...
I have never understood the common argument that James/Erin as a ship makes no sense and James/Orla should have been the ship instead. Often one of the arguments is that James/Erin wasn't set up while James/Orla was and I'm sorry... what? James/Erin have at least one ship heavy episode each season as well as plenty of background moments and several significant moments in Erin's Diary.
Even if you ignore all the background moments of the two holding hands, being inside each others personal space, the times where they're clearly matching and whatnot. There is at LEAST the implication that Erin would ignore her supposed crush for James, that she cares what he thinks, that Erin is James's type, that they're aligned in creative values and match each others energies, that Erin thinks he's handsome, that James thinks she's beautiful, that she can't imagine her life without him, etc.
James/Orla have some touchy moments... that's kinda all they have as far as romantic coding and I don't see how those two hugging in the Season 2 finale is somehow more significant than what setup James/Erin have throughout all the seasons.
Honestly, while I can see Orla liking James - you could build a case for it and convince me even though I see Orla as ace/aro in my own personal headcanons... no one has ever been able to give me a convincing argument for James liking Orla back. It kinda feels like you have to ignore that he never has a reason to fancy Orla back and just project onto him that.
Which, again, go off if that's your bag I think their friendship is fun and I could see making a ship out of it, but the common argument is that the SHOW makes a better case for James/Orla and like, no? No it really doesn't? It's just not main girl/main boy and some people really don't like that trope or Erin as a main and I think that if you say the show didn't set up James/Erin well and you argue the show would have been better with James/Orla based on what's in the show, you just might not like Erin very much?
I've also never been able to make sense of the argument that James/Erin is somehow the trope that 'guys and girls can't just be friends' like, is that not also James/Orla? Y'know, besides that Orla isn't a girl. They do use she/her during the show time period though and some people who argue this think Orla is a girl, they just think they're not THE girl. So somehow it's better even though it's the same thing.
Basically what I'm saying is that shipping is fun and we all oughta do it. Every ship besides the obvious ones is potentially fun and I'm down for it, but there is one ship the show was setting up and we all know what that ship was and I think it would be better if we all were honest about it.
PS: "James was gay the whole time!" Truthers, if you made it through this post somehow I'd like to offer a compromise: James Maguire is the most bisexual coded male character in media history we can all win here.
#derry girls#james maguire#jerin#erin quinn#Orla McCool#james x erin#erin x james#not tagging Orla and James as a ship because I'm not starting shit it's literally just addressing a common fandom thing I see a lot#when I track discussions of the show#funny enough I do actually have a stream-of-consciousness ficlet in my best friend's dms#where very early on Orla gives James a 'Valentine You're a Horse' card and he overthinks what it means for a week:#Orla: I like horses.#James: Wait so does that mean you like me?? Cause you said I'm a horse -#Orla: *grabs his face* James. I really like horses.#James: I... okay.#Orla: So we understand each other. *walks away*#And then they never discuss it again for like ten years until his wedding to Erin where Orla says they are glad at least Erin won him#since their attempt at wooing didn't work#James: YOU DID LIKE ME BACK THEN OH MY GOD!#Orla: I TOLD YOU I LIKED HORSES HOW MUCH MORE CLEAR COULD I HAVE BEEN. WE WOULD HAVE NEVER WORKED. YOU DON'T GET ME.#This is how I see any romance between them going hypothetically: Orla making an overture James just doesn't get and nothing happens lmao#this was stream of consciousness so if this post is rambling and incoherent be nice to me I'm on my period#I am fog brained today
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Portal 2 replay review: Hrmnnngggngmngm 💕💖💝💞✨❤️💗
#WPP#WPP2#Portal#I've only just revived GLaDOS (obviously had to play at least that far lol) but like hhnnnrgng <3 <3#The graphics! The space! The levels from Portal 1! The cutesy Aperture animations and the three(!) voice actors!#I've completely fallen in love with GLaD's P1 design but honestly what could possibly compare to her P2 design she's so pretty <3 <3#Stepping over her corpse to wake her up I'm normal I'm fine#And that we start in Test Chamber 1 and then fast track to 19 and end up in the toxic goo ravine fjdlsakfjsdf#I'm Fine I Swear#I forgot so many little details like the floor falling out or the buzz of the portal device (don't like but! Learned a new thing! -#- If while you're carrying Wheatley and you want the buzzing to stop just ''set him down'' - since he can't be set down lol#It cancels the noise :) Much nicer on the ears)#And Wheatley's voice actor ♪ His little flusters and chuckles hehe he's quite personably#I am So excited to get to the audio commentary fdjsalkjfdsf I found it and I'm biting biting biting#I have taken so many screenshots don't even get me started#Like all told for Portal 1 I probably took what like maybe 50 total? I'm probably already at 20 lol#Oh and I picked up a turret and it exploded on me :( I'm so distressed#I only want to knock over turrets I don't want them to explode!! Weh#Hhhh looking forward <3 Yay finally <3 <3#WPVG
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Ter stop talking over and making decisions for Dee challenge 2k24. Y'all ain't even friends at this point you're just the annoying coworker go away
#wandee goodday#wandee goodday the series#wandee goodday series#listen listen listen#i am glad that ter is starting to realize things about himself#i'm glad he's starting to embrace his feelings#howmstever he needs to do that in a way where he is able to give up some control#he cannot control dee's actions or responses#he needs to communicate with dee not make decisions for him#ter and dee do not mesh because dee is super competitive about silly little things#and he doesn't like being told what to do. he likes gentle nudging and he also likes his boundaries#yak still hasn't kissed him despite both of them knowing how bad yak wants to#ter extended their japan trip without talking to dee and then tried to kiss him not even knowing how dee feels about being kissed#dee hasn't had a chance to explain#and even before he had a chance to explain with yak#yak wasn't kissing him. yak was operating strictly off of body language and managed to not kiss dee#then he asked about it in a non-judgemental way and dee felt comfortable enough to tell him#and yak said got it boss. you know i want to kiss you but this is a boundary that we will not cross#until we are ready and willing to cross it together#yes yak has pushed a bit because he wants it but he always goes slow enough and gives dee enough space to back out before they kiss#which dee does#and he will back out until he doesn't#but that's the difference between ter and yak#dee was closed in and didn't have a lot of options to avoid the kiss if it hadn't been interrupted#i don't doubt dee would have managed to avoid it but ter blocked off a lot of opportunities to leave#yak leaves space for dee to leave if he wants to#ter is controlling and yak is freeing#and that is why dee was able to fall for yak after 8 years of pining for ter#he is free from the feelings that were controlling him#and now he can move on and be happy with someone who truly understands him
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the sole and devastating problem with monkey man is that it will literally never be able to push past the people who think the concept of the film disrespects hanuman ji to be exposed in an environment where people see it for more than its name.
#raj shitposting#my mother ACTUALLY asked me why the film took hanuman ji as the monkey god to drive the plot when there are monkey gods everywhere.#i was so shocked because wtf all those monkey gods are literally based on hanuman ji besides this is a film about an indian man.#she still thought that it was just disrespecting hinduism so i didn't let her watch past the scene with lucky in the tavern.#like i don't think indians have the tolerance or the right etiquettes to watch this film at all.#which is why i am starting to feel glad it was never released here. indians saale hain hi adipurush ke layak mcbc.#inn logo ko bhakti do to uski batti banakar filmmaker ki hi gaand mein ghusedna chayenge.#inhe violence do to kahenge humare bhagwaan aese nahi the tum log humare bhagwan ka mazak uda rahe ho.#saala chahate kya ho?#tum log behenchod adipurush dekho aur har acchi cheez ko ban hone do.#people view religion as blind devotion rather than something that allows you to connect yourself to your gods.#they don't believe their gods could make mistakes. and they sure don't believe for a goddamn second that their god could be wrong.#i am not saying monkey man is about proving god wrong because it FUCKING ISN'T.#it's about a boy who clung to a story his mother told him as a child in hopes of finding her in the ugly face of the world.#something that would allow him to keep going because that's what hanuman ji would've done. that what his mother would've wanted.#like stop this absolute crap nonsense guys this film does not call the kid hanuman it literally invokes his image to inspire the kid.#HANUMAN JI IS WHAT IS HELPING THE KID FIGHT THIS WAR WITH HIMSELF AND THE WORLD.#he's literally like the krishna to the kid's arjun. he's a guide who talks through the kid's past through his mother's voice.#tum log bajrangi bhaijaan hi dekhlo bhai tumhare andar yeh picture hazam karna ka guda nahi hai.#monkey man#dev patel
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it was sort of rude of them not to immediately tell leon czolgosz that he couldn't retract statements. they let him go on for at least a little while and only then were like Wellll we are ignoring all of that .....
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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For anyone else who may need to hear this today:
You will find people in your life who exactly what you can give is enough
You are allowed to set boundaries, you are allowed to not give everything
Looking after yourself means you can give more in the long run
You are enough
#putting the rant in the tags in case people find it comforting to relate#and also ahh#but without ruining the post#turns out my ex told one of my friends “im so glad you can give me that they couldnt”#were pretty sure that he meant emotional support#i put myself under stress to support him and it still wasnt enough#i did things that i was chill with doing but didnt care for and didnt have the energy/capabilities to pretend to enjoy#but it wasnt enough#two days after this he messaged to be like oh hey i miss us and i miss us being close#fuck you dude#im not mourning us youre alone in that#i dont even hate him and i know that he didnt mean bad from it#but man it got me thinking#dodged a fucking bullet#this is vaguely ace rather than aro themed#i am still both but my aceness is coming out in this post#sorry aros#ace#asexual#tried to make it vague so it fitted both though cause i feel like both groups can relate tm
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Went to the bookstore today and asked about their mythology section and this frickin guy had the gall to be like "Yeah it's over here, but these are really dense and difficult so let me show you the children's mythology section." I was so baffled I didn't say anything. Normally I would've been very offended, but I couldn't help but laugh because I was like "I've been reading those massive textbook-esque mythology books since I was a literal child as research for my novel, sir. But sure, show me the kid's section, I like reading kids' books too."
#i talk#I genuinely think he just phrased it really badly and was just being stupid#which is the ONLY reason I was like ''yeah alright I'll let you live''#but I was very amused by that entire interaction#Went up to the register later and he got excited over some of the audiobooks I chose and we had a nice chat about that#I saw he was reading a BNHA comic which surprised me (especially after his previous comment)#and I told him I heard it ended recently and he said he was glad to hear that since so many comics he read as a kid just went on and on#and never ended#I think I've reached that age where I'm just like#''I can recognize you're not being an asshole you were just a bit stupid. Bless your soul''#Coincidentally the big textbook section was right in front of the checkout counter#which was funny because I DID just sit there and flip through a bunch of things for almost half an hour#That reminds me I really do need to read 100 and one nights (Arabian Knights) sometime. That's like the one Big one I've never read#Beowulf too that's the other big one#I just need to find really good audiobook versions of them. I can't sit down and read anymore#Another interesting moment from that same bookstore:#I overheard that dude and his coworker / boss talking with an older guy#and the guy said he was a psychic or something#and the bookstore guy was like ''Can I ask you a question then? I am going to judge you for it if you get it wrong though''#pftt#it was all very lighthearted but I was just like yeah that's my city alright#I miss seeing those random interactions and random moments
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Okay y'all it is over it is done the conversation has been had he knows I love him we are still friends I have cried my eyes out properly I have laughed again my heart will keep on hurting for a while but it is FINISHED
#it is a bit rough to be told that the age gap (3 years??) is too big and life stages are too different#and that it would be unwise since im graduating next year#and then be told that he's not attracted to you in that way#and THEN be told that if you were younger he might consider it#but alas that is the way the cookie crumbles#i do value his friendship very much and i am glad for it#but i am also glad he was honest with me#lads if i could choose i would go through all of it again! i have loved this poor sweet oblivious boy for a short while#but it has been very long and very deeply lodged in my heart#anyway i will be okay and im glad i can laugh again so soon :)#thank you for praying for me it really has been a fresh new hell in many ways#and i do love him. i do love him so terribly much#but i know it will pass#also he WAS very sweet about it. very sweet and honest and vulnerable and i deeply appreciated it#part of me is like. WILL I EVER LOVE AGAIN??? and the other part is like. i cant imagine loving anyone else#i kid you not he is the most wonderful God fearing gentle kind man of integrity i know. i love him terribly.#and there is no other guy who i trust implicitly and know i can tell or talk to about anything#so it is hard to imagine loving anyone else. he is so precious to me and just being around him makes my heart so happy#it will pass!!!!!#the waiting room chapter
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So let me get this right
Edgeworth had a quarter of life crisis, went to Europe to find himself, realised Phoenix gave his life meaning, and came back ready to confess.
Meanwhile Phoenix, who used to openly admire, be worried about and even give excuses to Edgeworth even when he was kinda mean, was so personally offended by how much it hurt him to think he was dead that when he came back Phoenix completely shut down every good emotion he felt towards him and started acting like a petty teenager with a grudge.
And now Edgeworth is the one reaching out and questioning his morality and acting hurt when Phoenix is mean to him. Interesting.
#and by interesting i mean i am going insane#worthwright#narumitsu#i'm still testing out what names feel less weird to use btw miles is weird and wright too but idk if using a first and a surname is as well#also. i was so pleasantly surprised by how emotionally mature phoenix was in the first game#and in this one he just startes accusing edgeworth of being evil all the time like?? he was way less understanding before#theonly explanation is that he mourned edgeworth like a lot and to protect himself from feeling all that he pretended he didn't#care actually because edgeworth was all those things people said he was (heartless and forged evidence anddid anything to win a trial) even#if he has actually helped Phoenix to get to the truth a lot of times before despite going against his own professional interests#he's treating him as if he's manfred von karma and not the one who phoenix himself protected against the guy#a bit disappointing tbh so i have to read it like that and not that he actually forgot all that; he only started believing in those things#he told himself to hurt less and now he's too tangled up to listen to what edgeworth is saying and doing#besides that: i'm SO GLAD he got an actually guilty client at last!! that's part of being a defense lawyer and now he can feel#that conflict edgeworth feels everytime he has to balamce doing his job with getting to the truth. also i want to see an edgeworth W#my babygirl needs it#“ace attorney”
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#so a little over a year ago i kissed a guy who i have known for nearly 20 years. on the lips#well he kissed me to be fair#after a whole night of dancing together and i will admit yes i flirted with him a LOT but. the thing is we have a weird kind of situation#because we aren't really friends but we share a best friend#and when our best friend was depressed we texted each other to try and think of ways to get her out of her funk#and when he need tips on what to get our mutual best friend he texts me too#and when we see each other at parties. well. the times we have ended up alone have always been charged lets just say that#and he REMEMBERED one of those moments and told me so last year and i was floored so i decided to go with it and flirt with him fhdshf#anyways. long story short he literally picked me up and pushed me against a wall and kissed me. and then. we shared a cab and hugged#good night and never talked about it again#i saw him a few months ago for the first time since That Night and we. did not talk about it! gfdhgd i am glad but also it's a bit weird id#and now he and our best friend are on holiday together and they are both messaging me and he just. texted me a kissy face.#and now i want to kill him (affectionately).#oh and he has a serious girlfriend so :) hgfhdhh i make such good life decisions don't i#i never told our best friend about the kiss btw. because she would kill both of us for sure#okay rant over anyways i dont think i will ever be normal about this guy. story of my life
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#I feel like such an asshole but#my husband's brother has left his wife and I'm SO HAPPY for him#I hate his wife. so much#she is so mean and controlling and just. not someone I like.#and apparently I was right about her. she was not nice to him. he's been really depressed and just never told anyone what she's like#I'm sad that he lived like that for years but I'm glad he finally ended it#they have a kid together so it's not that simple. but still. I'm happy for him#it's genuinely not that I'm happy because I dislike her like - haha he left her! no I'm really just relieved#it was extremely obvious that she's not a nice person and I don't understand why everyone else didn't see it?#and I'm happy that this means we might see him more. I felt very uncomfortable (unsafe tbh) when she was around.#(not unsafe physically but she's very mean and just says whatever she's thinking. which is usually not nice. and I have social anxiety sooo)#anyway I feel really mean but I literally jumped up and down because I was so happy when my husband told me#also I'm always afraid that I'm actually just like her and I just don't know it. because everyone - or at least my family - thinks I am like#that and. idk it scares me. I don't want to be like that.#my husband always says I'm not but. 😬#he would say that if I was really mean and scary because then he would be too scared to say that.......#personal
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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#hsr leaks#the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am#i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before#but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one#so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days#it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me#but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and#gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it#and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story#not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know#but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game#anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream#pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we#i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing#Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it#and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet#also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff
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ur making it pretty hard to not be curious about aftg like what is going on can you infodump ur worst to me
so basically it's about a guy called neil who's not actually called neil bc turns out he's the son of a HIGHLY abusive mafia hitman and him and his mother have been running from this guy for years which ofc means changes in identity and a SHIT ton of issues ranging from good old fashioned paranoia to lighting cigarettes not to smoke them but to let them burn down bc the smell reminds you of your mother's burning corpse. but neil is obsessed and i mean OBSESSED with this made up sport called exy which is like lacrosse but with the violence of ice hockey and he joins a pro-team despite aforementioned ABUSIVE MAFIA DAD AFTER HIM and guess what! the guy who signed him is called kevin and his ex-team are affiliated with the mafia too! including neil's dad! neil just screwed himself over big time! but who cares when you have exy! enter: andrew minyard. andrew is a blonde, 5ft, ex-juvie, under-court-surveillance-for-grevious-bodily-harm goalkeeper currently working unofficially as kevin's bodyguard and, while we never get an actual diagnosis bc god forbid we handle mental health properly in this thing, it's implied that he has some kind of psychosis and, as part of his plea bargain, is legally obgligated to take incredibly mood-altering medication that makes him manic in exchange for being allowed to stay on the team (aka with kevin who he's VERY possessive of), done entirely for the wellbeing of those around him and effectively against andrew's will. does he stick to that deal? fuck no! but it doesn't stop there! andrew proceeds to spend the entire book being as violent and unpredictable and generally cunty as possible in order to figure out What Neil's Deal Is bc neil is capital S Shifty and andrew is convinced he's from kevin's old mafia cult team trying to hurt him. we spend an entire book watching the three of them wrestle between neil's paranoia, andrew's protectiveness and kevin's desire to Please Can We Just Play Exy. there are some keys involved. someone dies. there are two more books. inexplicably two of the characters can speak fluent german purely from high school classes.
#aftg spoilers#just for book 1 but still BIG spoilers lmao#ill also tag this as:#hella reads aftg#bc i told people to block that tag if they didn't want spoilers so it's more likely to be effective#but yeah! arent you so glad you asked gloomy! this is the abridged version!#i genuinely havent even mentioned more of the insane parts bc i couldnt even explain if i wanted to#also i know i touched on andrew's meds here but i actually do have Views on all that and i was NOT getting into that here lmao#also just andrew's mental health as a whole. i could write essays#ask#aftg#the foxhole court spoilers#tfc spoilers#tfc#rereading this is making me laugh bc i come across as such an andrew-anti#as if he hasn't been one of my all time fave characters for six entire fucking years like do you know how hard that is and yet he's there#so just to clarify i am mad at a lot of the things andrew does but im also mad about the court-mandated-medication#and every therapist that gave him some shitty diagnosis and also nora for going down the 'violent psychopath' trope#andrew is a victim of his own books i would give my life for him <3
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