#i am genuinely crying atm

[fizzseed]

i am not the same person nor am i okay.

[zabobzionek]

Day 5 - Syringe

Little lore drop as well bc you can experience glimpse of Carr's past while she was still locked in Scavengers' hideout!

[truly-quirkless]

Anonymous asked:

Friendly reminder that you're never a bother to your friends and we love having you in our sphere, love hearing you ramble and love interacting with you because you're cherished and precious - a friend <3

[Unprompted???? || Accepting!]

Mate it is 9:40 AM on Sunday morning do not bring tears to my eyes like this.

[dykemonstera]

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[agayconcept]

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[cetoddle-archive]

bro

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

I hope you're okay and my hcs aren't fucking with your mental health /gen 🫂 -🌟

oh no dw, the hcs aren't fcking me up, please don't ever b afraid of that happening hksjdhgk i assure you it won't

[donut251155]

The "Yugi twins situation" is NOT incestuous

I'll just analyze stuff people used to "prove" the opposite of this, as someone with a close (PLATONIC!!!) relationship with a sibling

I'll just get straight to the point

This scene is NOT incestuous. They hadn't seen each other for DECADES, it makes sense that Tsukasa reached out to touch Amane - usually if you can't believe you're seeing someone you reach for their face, no? And he just moved his head up (+ the つ (translated as "rub" could just be his hand moving and could be a translation error. Like the "ah…" from Amane, he says "つー" (Tsu) which would've probably been him calling out for Tsukasa)

Also Amane was blushing because he WAS ABOUT TO FUCKING CRY??? IT'S NORMAL TO GET RED WHEN YOU CRY??? That's basic knowledge I fear

He'd seen his brother after AGES, AFTER HE KILLED HIM. I WOULD'VE HAVE CRIED TOO IF I WERE HIM Y'ALL HE'S CRUSHED BY GUILT, GRIEF AND IS HAPPY TO SEE HIS BROTHER AGAIN

I also think that if the scene was supposed to have some incestuous undertones, Tsukasa wouldn't have moved his thumb back.

Someone said this

I believe it doesn't have incestuous undertones for three reasons:

1. He had a dreamy and hopeful face in both cases. Usually, when characters dream of doing anything, even eating a cake or something like that, the artist adds blush to make the desire stronger. Tsukasa's desires were just having fun with his brother at a festival, something COMPLETELY PLATONIC, and knowing that his brother genuinely cares about him (another COMPLETELY PLATONIC thing driven by a sense of insecurity that he got because of how grumpy Amane was while sick. He wanted to hear his brother say "I love you" (PLATONICALLY) for the last time. It's less ambiguous in the Italian version because it's "Amane, tu mi vuoi bene?" which can only be seen as platonic (voler bene is platonic, amare romantic))

2. He looks cuter blushing. He's a child, children are supposed to be cute. He looks depressed without the blush in the first image 💀💀

See? He's cuter with the blush

3. He blushes for like 90% of the time. It makes him cuter, more childlike, he's FOUR YEARS OLD. The blush disappears when the drawing is too small for it to be added, when he's supposed to be confused, scary/creepy or serious.

This part fucking hell. Y'all do not know how four year olds think, do you?? Let me enlighten you

To the four year old Tsukasa, you either love or hate someone. No in between. He isn't talking about romantic love, he's talking about caring about someone, usually deeply. He means the platonic kind of love, it's all he knows. Nene reacted that way because she's 15, to her "love" is the romantic kind of love and she's in love with Hanako, same with Kou - they're teenagers who learnt that romantic and platonic love are different. Tsukasa doesn't know. He loves Amane in a platonic, brotherly way and thinks Nene loves his brother in the same exact way, like every other 4 year old would've assumed

(I reached the max of images :(( I meant the part where Tsukasa asks Nene if she loves Amane and says they're the same after she says she does, her mistaking it as romantic love and him taking it as platonic. Mb guys I'm new to Tumblr)

For the pose where the early manga showed us how Amane supposedly killed Tsukasa: it's not suggestive in any way. It just looks like Amane pushed Tsukasa down, stabbed him and that his knees gave out after he noticed he actually did what he did because of the wave of guilt and grief he felt (he even dropped the knife)

That's all I can think of atm :D

If you have any questions about this, ask ahead and I'll answer them!! I'm ready to answer

And sorry if I sounded a bit pissed off, but I am. I'm so sick of people misunderstanding sibling love lolol if you ship them go fuck yourself and do not talk to me, do not even breathe the same air as me I hate you and you're a disappointment to humanity

[dropthedemiurge]

Love for Love's Sake | Things You Didn't Notice #6

Translations and comments for Episode 6 (I have ADHD don't come after me, I was too invested that I bingewatched episodes yesterday and now I need to rewatch the 3 and 4 to make thorough comments on the dialogues). I was prompted by @lurkingshan to pay more attention to the movie posters :D Please let me know your thoughts after!

At first, I wanted to say that the movie titles were translated (at least, in my version of subs) and there was nothing behind them beside obvious but I decided to research more and indeed found somewhat interesting things! (the post will be long so I'll pile screenshots together)

First thing we see – Myungha has agonizing thoughts about "I can't believe I am on a date with a guy (when I'm supposed to be just an NPC/Player in this game)" next to the movie poster with an interesting title "The Guy Who Will Give a Kiss for 10 000 won"

This movie doesn't exist :D However! The title and poster style is clearly based on the old manhwa from ~2006 that's called "The Guy Who Will Give a Kiss for 5 000 won" (lmao they doubled MC's price that's inflation for you).

The note at the bottom says "Top Secret Disclosure: Kissing Method" aka MC is the guy who promises to teach you how to kiss if you give him some money, and the same note is shown in the LFLS poster. I thought the guy on the poster looked similar to Myungha but I think they actually got Taevin (the actor) to pose for this fake poster xD

Which leads me to the first thought that these posters were born out of Myungha's imagination – come on, we just got the scene between him and Yeowoon where they kissed for the first time and Yeowoon asked Myungha to give him time to practice and improve kissing (Myungha with his slightly better experience probably feels like a mentor with some "shady" intentions who eventually falls in love xD) Coincidence? I don't think so.

The second poster on the wall is also about a non-existent movie but before diving into that, here's how Yeowoon comes into the picture.

Two things: "Wonderful Ghost" huge poster on the wall behind him and the caption on the wall next to him.

In case you haven't paid attention, it says "If you come at four in the afternoon, I'll begin to be happy by three," which is a popular romantic phrase that definitely reflects Yeowoon's feelings atm, aww.

Meanwhile, Wonderful Ghost movie (also called as "The SOUL-mate") actually exists! But it's not new, it was released in 2018 and the story is about a guy done with his life after tragic events who becomes haunted by an energetic ghost that changes his life and mindset. (I did phrase this summary deliberately non-specific to make you feel another connection to the current story of LFLS.)

The caption on the poster also says, literally translated, "Let's do it together until the end of the world". This movie has other poster versions with other captions as Google shows but this is the version shown in Love for Love's Sake. Actually, while we're on the topic – I have no idea where "Love for Love's Sake" title came from, does anyone know? Someone in my previous posts speculated about the story based on this title but the Korean title of this series is "연애 지상주의 구역" ("Dating Supremacy Zone", or just "Dating Zone") which is the term that comes up in alert whenever Myungha is close to Yeowoon.

Anyway, back to our zombies, gorillas and demons. The movie Myungha and Yeowoon actually went to watch on their date was "Zombie Gorilla VS Demon Crocodile". The caption on thte poster says "Who will protect the world?"

Again, this movie doesn't exist. Why would they make such a point of showing Myungha crying and experiencing genuine emotions (when he only shed tears after he got scared by the full-scale system error and when his grandma got into hospital)? Well, Myungha explains it to Yewoon by himself.

"Well, it was the first time I see someone crying for a zombie gorilla." "Do you know how epic this movie is? The crocodile was actually an extraterrestrial. He met the gorilla here and joined him to save the world." "The plot is really strange." "It was very emotional."

Does it ring a bell? I don't think I need to add any words. Myungha = someone who came from another world and joined Yeowoon to save him and complete the game with happy ending. Myungha relates a lot and cries. I just find it funny thinking about how "The plot is really strange" and "You have a very strange taste" can be also said to all the viewers of LFLS (well, we all are very invested in this a bit confusing mysterious story as well, aren't we?xD)

I also love how we keep being reminded about the "unreality" of the story, how system can experience bugs and things in the world can glitch and Myungha is never immersed in this new life or his new love story to the 100% (cue all the 'choose anyone but me, go date a better man' and patronizing way he treats all characters around him, instead focusing on preventing them and the world from bad events following author's instructions)

I don't think I have much to add to the rest of the episode, I mirrored the haters articles and messages which were written for the show but the comments are quite generic (I couldn't read all of them but I didn't notice anything unusual). One thing, the DM to Myungha technically says "Die, Tae Myungha".

All I can say is that the online anonymous bullying is really prominent and a huge problem in Korea that leads to celebrities' depression and sometimes suicide. All influencers (and there are a lot of them in SK) are held to unimaginable 'perfect' standard and forums often have anonymous commenting which makes messages even more cruel (but later they addressed the issue and I think at least under news articles in Entertainment/Celebrity section the anonymous function was turned off, still, there are a lot of ways to ruin someone's life online). It happens in every country, of course, but stalking/online bullying is something that can be understood very easily by Koreans because it's often on the news and in the community.

Another little detail – even though Myungha does talk to students who are technically "younger" than him by one school year like he's old and wise, he doesn't use the word 'kid' nearly as much as you'd think xD (but the subs are doing the right thing anyway because how else are you supposed to show that subtle cultural difference between saying Cha Yeowoon and Yeowoon-ah, or Myungha calling Sangwoon by his name when he's frustrated with him instead of cursewords or titles?)

In the phrase "Get it together, kid!" Myungha actually uses the word 새끼 (saekki) which can be a curseword (like 'asshole, bastard', used by school gangster in previous eps) but it also literally means 'a child' that can be used by grandparents for their grandson or by parents, for example. So basically, think of 'son of a bitch' which can be used both as cursing and have literal meaning. Koreans have the same (개새끼 - son of a dog) phrase.

But it doesn't have an affectionate connotation when said by teenagers or adults (unless it's said to close friends without heat), and I am sure Myungha says it with more of "Get it together, you brat!" meaning. I just used this screenshot to tell you about Korean cursewords, he-he.

+ bonus: there is no translation or anything, but since we were talking about posters, I just found it funny and adorable how Yeowoon visually replaced here the poster behind him xD

[lastoneout]

CW: Discussions of weight loss, fatphobia, eating disorders, and cancer.

I still cannot get over how when I dropped 30lbs in part because I had a massive IBS flare for like two months that was so bad I was going to get multiple tests to make sure I didn't have cancer and yet I could not and STILL can't even mention it to a doctor(or most people) without them congratulating me. Like there are a few things a doctor can say that piss me the fuck off but congratulating me for dropping 30lbs during a period of my life where I thought I might be DYING instantly makes me hate them. I'm STILL having to say "I got really sick and lost 30lbs" to make people shut the fuck up. I was getting skinny so fast it was scaring my family AND me but whatever I guess being skinny is SO great and I should be thankful I went through hell that permanently changed my body in a way that I genuinely don't like!

'Cuz that's the other thing, I don't like how I look now. I gained like ~8lbs when I was in bed with the blood clot and ngl I started actually liking the way my body looked again. I don't like how I look rn, my fiance does(he loves how I look 100% of the time and I appreciate that endlessly) but even he admits I looked happier and healthier when I weighed 160lbs and now I kinda just look like I'm exhausted. When I got up to 143lbs I was looking in the mirror like "oh, I almost look like myself again, I forgot what it felt like to be happy with my body" like I looked healthier!! But nah the weight is already falling off because 135lbs is my new baseline and there's nothing I can do about that. (Also I hated how I had to get new knee braces made because my old ones don't fit anymore and I had to buy new clothes because the ones I enjoyed don't fit anymore and augh the only thing that is making me like my body rn is dressing butch, if I didn't have that I'd be going insane.) And I still have to deal with people acting like this thing that has legit ruined years of body positivity work is a good thing. Because at least I'm skinnier.

Society is so sickeningly "skinny positive" it legit disgusts me. And like this isn't even a drop in the bucket compared to what fat people go through, and it's why I'm so fucking passionate about fat liberation, I've watched tons of people I love completely destroy themselves to look more like me and I have to sit here and not only feel awful because I love them and don't want them to have to go through this but also because I know even looking like me wont be enough. Doctors still tell me to lose weight because I'm like a couple of lbs outside of "healthy" on the BMI scale, which is insane I weigh less than 10lbs more than I did when I was SIXTEEN atm and I can't say anything because I know they won't listen if I explain that even just being this thin is making me hate myself and feel like shit.

Fatphobia is so fucking evil. It absolutely destroys people. I genuinely baffles me that most skinny people can't see it because it's being used against us too, just in an affirming way and to me that is genuinely repulsive. Every compliment on my weight loss makes me want to punch through a brick wall. Knowing my story is going to be used to bludgeon other people with my condition becuase I lost weight without doing anything so "everyone" should be able to makes me so angry I could cry. It actually makes me feel sick to be praised for this, to know I'm a "success" story, to be lumped in with people who hate the people I love for the way their bodies naturally are, who want my loved ones to destroy themselves, who think I'm better than them when I am absolutely not.

Fat liberation is what we need to work towards, not "skinny positivity" or whatever, this is a systemic issue just like sexism and racism and homophobia and ableism and it must be dismantled if we want to create a better world for us all.

[rochenn]

9 Fandom Folks to Get to Know Better

Tagged by @lttrsfrmlnrrgby - thank you!!

3 Ships I Like: Big on my hand-picked Codywan atm. Kim Kitsuragi/Harry Du Bois is an evergreen. Hagen/Volker from the OG Nibelungenlied is in the process of gripping me and not letting go.

First Ship Ever: dude I think it might've genuinely been Astérix/Gaius Iulius Caesar. I was 7

Last Song You Heard: Johnny B metal cover by Equilibrium, apparently?

Favorite Childhood Book: Walter Moers had me in a DEATH GRIP as a child. I think Rumo, Die Stadt der träumenden Bücher and Der Schrecksenmeister are my favorites, and after that definitely comes Krabat by Otfried Preußler. Those books had my imagination shooting through the roof

Currently Reading: The Nibelungenlied in small semi-daily doses. It's a blast!

Currently Watching: I Love You Phillip Morris (was anybody gonna tell me there is a gay prison romance movie starring Ewan McGregor and Jim fucking Carrey or was I just supposed to find that out myself? Huh? And why am I crying about it? HUH???)

Currently Consuming: REWE store brand paprika chips. Yum yum

Currently Craving: Chickpea stew. Or a big fat bloody steak. I should probably make dinner

no pressure tags: @charmwasjess @catboydogma @ghosts-of-rishi @blueberry-ry @in-a-mellow-tone @clonemmunism @sabellart @skeletons-eat @eightbitpale

[lynn-tged-posting]

webtoon ep 149 spoiler below cut

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nobody could have prepared me for the MULTIPLE CRAZY THINGS that happened this chapter holy fucking shit . holy fucking shit i didnt know whether to laugh or SCREAM,,, i was with family so i had to hold my reaction in

javier in this frame is me rn at all of them . i am shaking lloyd and javier in a box.

i saw this frame n went "awww haha how funny and sillycute the protagonist thinks his noble is the protagoni-"

"-im SORRY WHAT. THE FUCK."

LIKE . WHAT. DOES THIS MEAN FOR JAVIER? WHY DID HE *DISAPPEAR* AFTER THIS WHAT. WHAT?? IS LLOYD NOW CONSIDERED THE MAIN PROTAGONIST OF KNIGHT OF BLOOD AND IRON BY THE SYSTEM? IM SO???

AND THEN HIS HEART??? FREEZING FOR A MOMENT IM SO SERIOUS I GOT SO FUCKING SCARED

and then THIS i got so much tonal whiplash but in the best way i was abt to cry HAHA

also thinking about javier stepping forward and protecting lloyd its a little thing but i like it a lot

AND THEN THIS I. WHANDBDHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LMFAOAOAOO THE EXPRESSIONS R ALWAYS SO TOP TIER ALSO WHAT THE FUCK LLOYD UR IN DEEP SHIT NOW,,,

genuinely this chapter is giving me whiplash i am all here for it it makes me insane but. in a good way! HAHA

also apologies for the poor screenshots i have to use a diff browser atm to access its. an experience

[togament]

Hi Bibi, i just want to say you’re doing amazing and your post are literally ADDICTING. I was a little worried because I didn’t know if Wind Breaker would get a lot of attention on Tumblr yk? (Just because it’s new) AND YOU CAME AND SAVED ME. I love you, your brain, and your page. Please keep going and I WOULD LOVE to hear your thoughts on new episodes/chapters (only if you want). Thank you for feeding my delulu brain. Hugs 🫂

OH YOU SWEETHEART COME HERE YOU!!!! 🫂 I’M NOT CRYING I SWEAR.

thank you for the kind words dhdjkd i don’t know if i’m worthy of such praise too like—everyone leaving cute (and unhinged ofc) stuff in the tags and in my inbox gets me all giddy and blushy and!!!!!! Seeing you guys enjoying my stupid ramblings means the absolute world to me (i see you guys in the tags and i read every single one. Love you you freaks 😏) fun fact, I only started writing fics on this account and only for windbreaker so all the interactions and thirsty feedback I get genuinely, genuinely makes my heart do the boom boom. So smooches to every one of you!!!!!! (only if you want them. you could exchange it for a headpat if you want ig)

ok enough of the sappy stuff. WINDBREAKER TIME!

windbreaker blowing up on tumblr is so so so well deserved. i was genuinely shocked because it took a little bit for the hype to catch on???? the seiyuus are literal legends (in my eyes hehe), the animation’s SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE HELLO!??, the op and ending song aren’t ass??????? I’m super excited for what’s to come for our fandom and the anime. ALSO fun fact, I have the fattest crush on Umehara Yuichiro so him voicing Togame literally brought me to my god damn knees, bro. I’m expecting Eguchi Takuya to secure a character too bc ofjfkdkd his voice would be perfect for a villain.

also may or may not have picked windbreaker up bc I saw a character named Kiryu and an eyepatched character and I 😮👈😮👈 YAKUZA REFERENCE!!!!! (probably not but the coincidence is silly to me)

I’m not super caught up on the anime (on episode 7 atm!) I wanna savor every episode and binge them back to back (also bc my hubby’s got so much screentime I wanna savor that him EVEN MORE YUM YUM YUMMY). Caught up on the manga though and I Have Thoughts.

(spoilers under the cut)

the endo fight’s scaring me, man. also super fucking worried about ume bc WE HAVEN’T SEEN HIM FOR SO LONG??? the chair throw spooked me. also worried about ume’s vegetable garden. I know it’s getting trampled to shit. also very worried about sakura. he’s getting all banged up by endo, his nose is probably broken now wtf he was bleeding SO MUCH.

chika’s scary too. both him and endo. i honestly don’t know what’s gonna happen next like, they’re both so unpredictable and unhinged that my butthole’s clenching in sheer terror.

I’m also very concerned about suo. WHY HAVE WE NOT SEEN HIM EATING (or maybe I’ve missed a panel lol) but with every food offer he’s ever been given, he turns them down. also the fact that we only know him on a surface’s surface level even when he’s one of the main boys is scaring me. we’re 140+ chapters deep and not one single suo morsel for us to nibble on. I don’t want a betrayal thing happening ok lol that would be my tipping point i fear.

OKAY I WAS RAMBLING TOO MUCH AHDHSHAHHA

if you guys want me to yap about a chapter or an episode or potential seiyuus for other characters or if you just want my thoughts on things (i am a Certified Yapper), i am directing you to the askbox! This was super fun!! Extremely forgetful too so this could help me remember all the stuff that’s happened so far.

thank you so much again for sending over an askkskfnnxnx heaven knows i needed a little pick me up today. you delivered and made my entire day, sweetheart!!!!! Ily!!!!!!! 🥹

[qvert]

Favorite Caitvi fanfic?

Favorite Caitlyn quote?

Favorite song from the season 2 soundtrack?

Feel better soon!

Oh jeez okay

1 - Okay so I am a bit partial to @venomwrites atm specifically Parabolic Its sort of like vignette of missing moments and then it continues after the end of season 2 - I just think the characterisation is so wonderfully on point. In addition to that I am making my way through a lot of the stuff from SarcastCity and that has been pretty spectacular as well and a lot hornier

2 - I don't think... hm... okay so I am deeply attached to the entire conversation Caitlyn has with Jinx in the cell especially the 'no good deed can undo our crimes'? idk if that's the exact phrase. And then 'you've grown a bit predictable' is OBVIOUSLY is very high up there. But I genuinely think for her its more so the stuff she didn't say out loud that took my breath away - as a not super verbal person I can relate

3 - Phew... To play on the Piano? Can't Hear it Now but then Paint the Town blue is also just stuck in my head and Remember Me makes me cry every time Yeah no I can't choose If were going for both seasons though I don't think anything can top What Could Have Been

[luguangs]

tag games! 💌

i'm so late and i'm 100% sure i missed several of these because tumblr only keeps notifications for the last ??? who knows how many months. so sorry for the delay! i promise i wasn't ignoring them i genuinely just forgot 😭

edit: i had this drafted since january 18 and i forgot to post it. again 💀 i'm leaving it exactly as it was as a capsule in time for myself though

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tagged by @orviposition @karura @misakarose @hansooyung @milaghoul - thank you for the tag mira, may, tay, roy, and mila! 💕💕 these were actually three separate tag games but since they were really similar i decided to combine them!

tag someone you want to know AND/OR some of your besties

favorite color: blue!

3 ships: yoohankim (orv), llojavi (tged), shiguang (sgdr)

first ship ever: merthur (? genuinely can't remember sorry my liege)

last song: IS - sue

currently listening to: dizzy bezerko album by unlike pluto (nothing but bangers it's insane)

last movie: children who chase lost voices (2011)

currently watching: sabikui bisco, a sign of affection, cherry magic, mr. villain's day off, solo leveling, 7th time loop, dungeon meshi

other stuff I watched this last year: my main obsessions were buddy daddies, trigun stampede, moriarty the patriot

shows I dropped this last year/didn't finish: i rarely drop shows but i had to pause to your eternity bc it was making me cry too hard lmaoo

currently reading: the greatest estate developer, sabikui bisco, lord of the mysteries, thriller trainee, and a bunch of manhwa/manhua

currently consuming: coffee (decaf bc caffeine is now poison to me)

currently craving: idk i think a cinnamon roll could fix me actually

currently working on: crocheting a snoopy-themed gift for my mom's bday!

current obsession: tged brainrot babeyyy

sweet/spicy/savory? savory!

relationship status: happily single amen

last thing I googled: ranjatai

~~

tagged by @aomitois thank you tem! 💞

Which feeling that has no name are you?

~~

tagged by @userfrieren thank you sm for tagging me jenna! 💖

alias/name: gaby

birthday: sep 3

zodiac: virgo

height: too tall

hobbies: reading novels, playing video games, making gifs

favourite colour: blue

favourite book: omniscient reader's viewpoint !!!!! it changed my life please read it i am on my knees

last song: 云与海 - 阿YueYue

last movie/show: the middle

recent read: i think the last thing i finished was mdzs (i say this when i haven't even managed to finish the extras lol)

inspiration: finding something that hits like orv is what keeps me going ngl

story behind url: idc if i have a kim dokja url i WILL beat the kdj kinnie allegations 💪

fun fact: i know at least the basics of 11 languages!

what’s the colour palette of your name?

(duplicated image for sizing) i actually love this! these are all colors that i would normally wear bc i'm a big fan of subdued shades with a slight touch of earth tones!

~~

tagged by @sugaaz and @hansooyung to do this picrew! thank you moon and roy 💕

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tagged by @koushuwu to do this picrew! tysm mica this was so cool! 💖

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tagged by @sawaisanna to post a wip - thank you malina! 💞

i don't have any edits in the works atm, but here's a wip from a fic i'll likely never post.

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top six reads of 2023

tagged by @tls123 - tysm francesca! 💖

global examination by 木苏里 *

devil venerable also wants to know by 青色羽翼

thriller trainee by 妄鸦 *

the book of disquiet by fernando pessoa

mist unlimited by 微风几许

camera lucida by roland barthes

(*) haven't finished these yet

first things first can i just point out how fucking funny it looks to list danmei and philosophical books together bc it's sending me 😭

i read relatively "few" books in 2023 but that's only because i spent the most time reading two monstrous books that unfortunately didn't make it to my top 6 :/ (iykyk)

it seems like 2023 was the year of narratives that break out of their confines, self-awareness, and deconstructing paradigms <3

~~

💫 preference 💫

tagged by @aomitois - tysm tem!

ancient or modern

bitter or sweet

chocolate or vanilla

coffee or tea

create or destroy

day or night

early bird or night owl

freckles or dimples

gold or silver

greek mythology or egyptian mythology

macarons or eclairs

hot or cold

thunder or lightning

typewritten or handwritten

secret garden or secret library

spicy or mild

dark magic or light magic

virtue or vice

ocean or desert

moon or stars

rough or smooth

mermaids or sirens

known or unknown

rain or snow

~~

tagging for any of these: (no pressure!) @icythot-bakubitch @ruanbaijie @feitanporter @itoshisae @dokjaism

@mudanonaito @himawaari @aroacehirano @mauxanhduong @apparently-artless

@72g @miyamiwu @focryst @justapieceintheirgames @smol-ackerman + anyone else who wants to join!

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Ok here’s a request (u don’t have to do it if u don’t have time).

Relationship: Jesse/Becky/reader(or original character)

The reader has been keeping a secret from their partners Jesse and Becky, they had an abusive parent. They only find out bc of a fight or something when the reader experiences some ptsd/anxiety symptoms. This results in fluffy hurt comfort.

(I totally understand if this is to much to write bc of the subject matter, so if u can’t because of personal reasons I get it.)

Thanks!

For The Better

Fandom: Full House

Pairing:  Jesse Katsopolis x Becky Donaldson x Female Reader

Characters: Jesse Katsopolis, Rebecca Donaldson, Female Reader, Nicky Katsopolis, Alex Katsopolis

Word Count: 2319 // Rating: Mature

Summary: Jesse does something he regrets

Tags/ Warnings: Child abuse, Hitting, Spanking, Trauma, Childhood Trauma, Arguing, Hurt, Comfort, Angst, Bad Behaviour, Naughty Children, PTSD, Anxiety, Crying, Guilt, Request, Requested Fic, Polyamory, Throuple, Co-Parenting

Notes: I am working slowly through all my requests. I'm not into many of them atm because im focused on my Elvis stuff [Jesse would be 100% on board with this i feel]

Hope this is okay.

‘Nicky, Alex stop!’ Jesse said as his sons darted around him. He was trying to work, to lay down new material, but he couldn't as his two rambunctious boys were determined to get under his feet. It had been like this all morning. Y/N had taken the girls to school whilst Becky was at work leaving him with no choice but to keep the boys in the basement with him as they worked on their new tracks. 

‘Jess man,’ Steve sighed from behind his drumkit. The twins had darted away from their father and were now interested in hammering on the cymbals and giggling at the noise they made. 

‘Boys!’ Jesse said lurching forward to collar them both and pull them away. He took his guitar off with his free hand and then bent down in front of them trying not to crack as they looked at him with those adoring eyes, ‘you need to behave now. I mean it. I don't want to have to punish you okay?’

‘Okay daddy,’ they said in unison. Jesse nodded and led them back to their small desk which was set up with a painting station in an attempt to keep them quiet, something that had not happened thus far. They sat down and started engaging which made Jesse heave a sigh of relief before he turned back to the guys and gestured for them to start playing again. As he took to the mic once more he finally started to relax.’

‘Well her love doesn't come along until midnight,

And her passion rages on until the daylight-’

‘Jess?’ came a call from the stairs interrupting his singing. The band groaned and he groaned along with them just as Y/N appeared at the bottom of the stairs. She smiled at him and said, ‘hey, sorry to interrupt I thought I’d come and take the boys off your hands.’

‘Well thanks,’ Jesse said as she sidled up to him, her hands resting on his chest, ‘didn't you see the on-air sign though?’

‘I must've missed it,’ she said, ‘sorry baby.’

‘It’s fine,’ Jesse said tightly making Y/N’s brow furrow.

‘Is this a problem? I mean it was a genuine mistake,’ Y/N said feeling uncomfortable. He was mad. She could tell.

‘You know better though,’ he said, ‘I mean you had to know I was recording down here.’

‘I did but I didn't think it was a big deal, Jess. I’m sorry okay,’ she said.

‘It's just between you and the boys we haven't gotten anything done,’ Jesse sighed exasperatedly. 

‘Well, that's what it's like when you have kids,’ she said.

‘You don't think I know that?’ Jesse said, ‘I mean, wait where are they?’ 

Jesse and Y/N’s heads whipped around looking for the tykes who were no longer at their assigned station. As he turned around he spotted two pairs of shoes sticking out from under his mixing table and headed towards it. Behind his desk were Nicky and Alex, tape in hand, unspooling masses and masses of black onto the floor around them. 

‘What the hell?!’ Jesse said. It was their current tape. The only thing they had managed to record the entire morning was now lost and unspooled all around his troublemakers. 

‘Look daddy,’ Nicky said offering up his now useless tape. 

‘What did you do!? I told you to behave!’

‘Jess it's okay we can sort it,’ Y/N said from behind. 

‘Can we?!’ he asked, ‘they don't listen Y/N! They run around and they make noise. They break things and terrorise anyone in the room. We can’t fix it! They don't listen to anything.’ 

‘So what do you suppose we do?’ she asked. 

‘I know,’ Jesse said and before waiting for her to reply he yanked Nicky and Alex out from the desk and stood them in front of him, ‘now I told you you had to behave and you didn't listen to me. So I’m sorry but I have to do this okay?’ 

And before Y/N could speak he spun them both around and placed two harsh spanks across each of their behinds. The twins didn't speak as he whipped them around, looking at him wide-eyed, ‘now I’m sorry it came to that but you boys understand right? You need to listen.’

‘Okay daddy,’ they said in a distinctly less jovial tone than before. 

‘Jess,’ Y/N said in barely more than a whisper. She couldn't believe what she had just whispered. All of a sudden memories cascaded in her brain like fireworks bringing with them pain and anguish. She couldn't think. Her body was in overdrive, there was ringing in her ears and sweat pumping off of her as she looked at the twins' hurt faces. Jesse looked up at her, clocking her blank face and offering one of worry from him but she couldn't say anything. Before he could question her she grabbed the twins and darted upstairs. 

She could hear him calling her but she couldn't stop. She needed to get out of there. She needed to protect them. She bolted upstairs, ignoring the tears that were now running down her face or the distressed cries from the boys as they asked her what was the matter. Once in the attic, she got them in their room, pushing their changing table up against the door. 

She collapsed against the opposite wall, trying to push out the echoes of shouting and the feel of red welts on her skin that weren't even there. 

‘What's the matter, mommy?’ Nicky asked coming to sit in her crossed lap.

‘Nothing baby,’ she sniffled pulling him in close and then Alex who was determined not to be left out in too, ‘it's fine. We’re safe.’ 

‘Y/N?’ she heard Jesse say, as he called her name again his voice got closer until she heard the rattle of the door handle from across the room. Her heart was thudding in her chest. It was a sound she had heard a million times before. Someone determined to get inside, to get to her when she didn't want them to. She couldn't let him in. She needed to protect her boys.

‘Y/N why is the door locked?’ he asked, ‘baby-’

‘Go away,’ she said and though it was faint he heard it.

‘Y/N what's going on?’

‘Go away Jess,’ she sniffled.

‘Y/N-’

‘Go away!’ 

She heard movement outside the door as Jesse rested against it. He was confused. He didn't know what had happened. In the span of two minutes, he had gone from a loving father to a man who hits his children. He knew he’d messed up. Spanking was never something he thought he would ever do but he had lost sight of himself. Everything had been so full on. The noise, the running around, the interruptions and finally the tape. He had lost it. And he instantly regretted it, even more so when he looked up and found Y/N’s horrified face watching him before she bolted from the room kids in two. Now she wasnt coming out. Was she scared of him? 

Pain rippled through him at the thought. He needed to see her. He needed her to come out so he could apologise. So he could beg for her forgiveness and tell the boys how much he was sorry. 

But he couldn't force his way in. He needed help. He needed Becky. 

✵✵✵

‘Jess just tell me what’s going on,’ Becky said as they climbed the stairs to the attic.

‘You'll find out soon enough,’ Jesse said as they entered their living room. Jesse gestured to the twins' room and then went to sit on their bed waiting with bated breath that this would work. Becky watched him confused before she headed to the door and tried to open it frowning when it wouldn't budge. 

‘Y/N?’ she asked gently. 

‘Beck?’ she heard a sniffle come from the other side of the door.

‘It’s me,’ Becky said, ‘can I come in?’ 

‘I can't open the door Beck,’ she said, ‘I can't-’

‘Why not?’ Becky asked.

‘I’m scared,’ she said, ‘and I keep telling myself Im overreacting but I can't get up. It's like I'm glued to the floor.’

‘Jesus, what happened?’ Becky said incredulously looking at Jesse for answers but couldn't bring himself to say anything and instead hung his head in shame. 

‘Mommy?’ Nicky said excitedly.

‘It's me, baby,’ Becky said, ‘Y/N you need to come out.’

Beck-’

‘Think of the boys,’ she said, ‘I mean you can't keep them in there forever-’

‘They're safe in here,’ Y/N reasoned.

‘And they're safe out here too,’ Becky reasoned, ‘why wouldn't they be?’

‘Jesse hit them,’ Y/N said making Becky’s eyes go wild.

‘What?’ she said, ‘is this true?’ 

‘Beck I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘I didn’t mean to.’

Becky watched him for a moment, hurt written all over her face before she retained her composure and she looked back at the door. 

‘Y/N, sweetheart, I know what he did was wrong but you have to come out. We have to talk about this. You can't keep the boys locked up forever honey. Please? Come out?’ she said. Y/N didn't reply but there was distinct movement behind the door and the next time Becky tried the handle it clicked open without issue. The boys flocked to her as she opened it, clinging onto a leg each as thas stroked their hair and then asked them to go and play. They ran into the living room resuming the leftover jigsaw that they had insisted on getting out at three am that morning. 

Becky walked into their room ad slid down beside Y/N on the floor as Jesse leaned against the wall watching them shamefully. 

‘Can someone tell me what happened?’ Becky asked, moving a strand of hair off of Y/N’s face as she sniffled. 

‘Jesse spanked the boys,’ Y/N said. 

‘Jess?’ Becky asked looking at her husband with the hope that it wasnt true.

‘I’m sorry okay? I don't know what came over me. They were getting into all sorts, they wouldn't sit still, we got no work done and then they ruined the tape we’d been working on all morning and I don't know. I just lost it,’ he said. 

‘So you hit them?’ Becky asked with disbelief.

‘I’m not proud of it Beck,’ he said, ‘and I’ll never do it again I swear.’

‘That's what he said,’ Y/N said with a scoff that made both pairs of eyes fall on her.

‘Who?’ Becky asked confused. 

‘My dad,’ she said shakily, ‘every time he used to hit me. Every time he’d march into my room finding the littlest thing to lose it at me over. He'd always say that that was the last time. That he never do it again.’

‘I never knew that about your dad,’ Bekcy said. 

‘I never talk about it,’ Y/N admitted, ‘I never needed to. I mean I thought I’d gotten rid of that shit but seeing Jess, I mean the boys’ faces just brought it all back.

‘Y/N you have to believe me when I say I couldn't feel worse right now. I know it was wrong. And believe me, I never want to feel this way again. I never want to upset you or the boys like this again.’

‘How can I trust that?’ she sniffled, ‘I mean I never thought you would-’

‘I mean it,’ Jesse said, ‘you two and the boys are my everything. You have to believe me.’

He came to kneel in front of them then. His hands were on theirs and he looked at them pleadingly. She looked at him for a second, her heart aching at the thought of his actions. 

‘Jess is right,’ Becky said, ‘I mean I don't condone what he did in any way shape or form but it was a momentary lapse. I believe that don't you?’ 

‘And if he gets angry again? If the twins do something like today again?’ Y/N asked. 

‘Like I said. Nothing they could ever do would make me want to feel this feeling again. It's the worst feeling in the world,’ he said.

‘Yeah,’ Becky said, ‘and I’m sure Jess doesn't expect forgiveness right away right aby?’

‘Whatever it takes for you and the boys to forgive me I’ll do,’ Jesse nodded. Y/N seemed to deliberate on that point for a moment before she nodded gently. 

‘And maybe we can talk about it a bit more?’ Becky said, ‘I mean we all have our own ideas about parenting and I know we discuss stuff but it's usually as it happening to us. Maybe it would be good if we talked a little more. That way when situations come up we’ll know how the others feel about it.’

‘Yeah, I mean I had no idea about your dad,’ Jesse said, moving to sit beside her. 

‘I’ve not felt those feelings in a long time,’ she admitted looking up at him, her eyes red-rimmed from crying which broke his heart all over again. 

‘I’m sorry it was me who made you feel that way,’ he said. 

‘Well I suppose it's better you’re trying to make up for it,’ she said with a weak smile, ‘he never even acknowledged it happened. A quick mumbled apology and then he’d be right back to where we started.’ 

‘Well then at least we’re making changes right?’ Becky said. 

‘For the better,’ Y/N said, leaning in so Jesse could wrap an arm around them both. 

‘For the better,’ he agreed. 

He didn't feel entirely better about himself and he was sure Y/N didn't either but they were right. What had happened in the past didn't matter as long as they tackled the here and now. And more importantly together.