#i am genuinely shocked when people want to be nice to me atm even on the most basic level

[dykemonstera]

.

[standardquip]

Relationship with my parents

This is about me rationalizing my relationship with my parents, who voted trump. They are (sincerely) nice people.

(quote from below) "It's been really hard to rationalize my relationship with my parents (and their relationship with trump) when I'm largely in far left echo chambers who loudly proclaim that anyone who supports trump is a racist, fascist, asshole, nazi, etc. When that's blatantly false, simply put.

But I also don't want to make some wide sweep about how they're uneducated morons who don't fully understand what they're voting for, or are victims of propaganda, because I don't think that's true either. At least not for my dad, anyway."

---- cw suicide mentions, transphobia

My relationship with my parents has not been great. For most of my life, I hated them and was actively trying to get away. My life got better once I finally did. I ex-communicated them after they refused to accept me as their son (I am AFAB).

To illustrate how bad it got, I was in the US Navy and I tried to kill myself and was separated due to those actions. I got one phone call and I didn't call my parents. They had to figure out I was no longer in the Navy from someone else. How awful for them.

After only a few months of them finally leaving me the fuck alone (honestly probably due to the shock of the Navy thing), they started trying to have a relationship with me again, and the only reason we ended up reconnecting was because I gave up trying to fight them. Also they used the correct pronouns finally. Our relationship was pretty transactional from then on. They wanted a relationship and I needed money. I mostly forgave them (or at least accepted that they did the best with the knowledge they had at the time) and after a lot of therapy, I didn't hate them anymore. I don't know if I have ever loved them, but I reached a point where interacting with them didn't ruin my mood so there was a mostly peaceful co-existence.

By the time I finally got financial independence (which involved getting VA disability and buying my own house), I wasn't treating my parents like ATMs anymore but I wouldn't say my view of our relationship was anything more than platonic.

All of the relationship effort came from their end. They wanted to visit me, I never volunteered to visit them. They want to call me, I almost never call them, etc., etc. I'm a loner, the only reason I talk to anybody really is if they call me.

Anyway. I had a breakdown in 2018 which involved getting real with my mom about my mental health, something I'd never really done before. Ever since that day, my mom called me every friday and my dad called me every monday. I saw it as they were just making sure I was still alive and maybe it was partly that but I think they mostly just wanted a reason to talk to me more often.

They also started visiting me every year and we would do big house construction projects. My house would probably still be unlivable if it were not for their help.

It should also be stated that they live about 1000 miles away from me and they drove to visit. So visiting me, to work, involves considerable time (and energy) on their parts. And they did it every year.

They also volunteer a lot in their home state. So they are, genuinely, good people.

They are not racist. But they are christian, (mostly) white, and affluent (probably the lowest tier above "upper middle class" ), so basically insulated from most of the world's problems.

They both had troubled childhoods with families that were poor. They both worked their asses off to get what they have now. They both worked full-time for basically their entire lives, even while they had kids (me and my brother).

So, naturally, they are fiscally conservative.

They're both retired now. My mom is now basically a tradwife and she doesn't really think for herself, politically. She says sometimes she doesn't vote at all but when she does, she votes for whoever my dad tells her to vote for.

She was a nurse, but she's against universal healthcare. She believes abortion "shouldn't be used as birth control" so that makes her pro-life somehow. They believe being queer is fine as long as you don't "participate in the lifestyle" so they don't believe in gay marriage.

They love sinners such as myself, but they don't want to participate in a system that enables those sinners, essentially.

My dad's views boil down to fiscal conservatism only; he's basically a single-issue voter. He believes that the rich will always find a way out of paying taxes so we should give up on the whole thing. The middle class (him) always ends up paying so he needs to look out for himself now and he'll vote for whoever will lower taxes and whoever makes his stock market portfolio look good.

He doesn't understand why people get so heated about political topics. Why can't we just have a rational discussion? Why does everyone get so angry?

He didn't outright say it, but I think he believes that all of the identity politics (if it even goes into law) simply won't be enforced. So it shouldn't be such a high priority to think about.

My dad is constantly watching the news and trying to get "both sides" of the issues. He actually does watch both sides of the news, too. That being said, I don't think he's ever voted for a democrat in his lifetime? So I'm not sure what kind of things he's actually learning.

Either way, I would consider my dad "well informed" on politics.

They both voted early for trump this year. They've been voting for him since 2016.

With all this background in mind, it's hard to say I should disown my parents over politics.

It's been really hard to rationalize my relationship with my parents (and their relationship with trump) when I'm largely in far left echo chambers who loudly proclaim that anyone who supports trump is a racist, fascist, asshole, nazi, etc. When that's blatantly false, simply put.

But I also don't want to make some wide sweep about how they're uneducated morons who don't fully understand what they're voting for, or are victims of propaganda, because I don't think that's true either. At least not for my dad, anyway.

It is completely understandable why two people who got shitty hands and worked their lives to get out of those situations would be bitter that their incomes are going to people who did not work as hard.

It's not morally right, but it's understandable.

Earlier this year, as the red states were ramping up the efforts to make all the leftists move out, my dad asked me if I would visit them in their home state of georgia. (For reference, I live in a northeastern blue state.)

I said no, because in case he had forgotten, I am transgender. And I don't want to go where I am unwanted.

And he said "So what? Ignore them."

This was over a phone call. That pissed me off royally but I am not very verbally "with it" so I didn't response directly until later, via text.

Where I wrote:

(begin quote) Regarding the anti lgbt laws It doesn't matter if they're 'not that bad' or 'won't be enforced'

It doesn't matter that they may not arrest me because I don't look trans or have all my legal documents matching.

What matters is that red states have made it their mission to pass (or try to pass) laws and policies that actively hurt lgbt people, OF WHICH I AM ONE, making it clear they do not want those people in their state(s).

And it would be one thing if you guys did not actively vote for the party pushing those views (I still would be reluctant to visit but maybe I would anyway) but you don't. You vote republican. You are probably voting for trump. You actively disproved of my entire transition and you said you thought it was a mistake and my scars made you sick.

To this day I don't know if you actually think of me as your son or if you're just paying lip service to your kid's mental illness to avoid drama so I'd talk and have a relationship with you again. This goes for both you specifically and mom.

So no, I'm sorry, I never plan on visiting you in georgia. I never plan on going to georgia again for any reason (even the [anime] conventions) unless the political landscape totally changes.

I'm not going somewhere where "my kind" isn't wanted and I'm CERTAINLY not going there to visit parents that support (either directly or indirectly) the laws that actively hurt lgbt people, which, again, I need to remind you I AM AN LGBT PERSON WHO IS ACTIVELY BEING HURT BY THESE POLICIES and was and currently am being hurt by the culture these policies represent.

"So what? ignore them" is MASSIVELY IGNORANT and it pissed me the fuck off.

As a side note, this is the thing I was talking about with Florida [on the phone]. License can be revoked and you can be charged with fraud. Partway down the article it does say that if taken at face value it could also apply to tourists. https://www.newsweek.com/transgender-people-florida-face-drivers-licenses-revoked-1865187 And again Georgia is definitely nowhere near as bad as what desantis has been doing in florida but the public sentiment down there about trans people certainly seems the same to me right now

This is a blog but it's more clearly written. Where the news article mostly focuses on people attempting to newly change their license, this blog talks more about what it means for trans people in general who could be charged with "misrepresenting" their identity (by having a license that says their sex is not their birth sex -- this is me. I am a person who has M on their license and wasn't born male.) https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/florida-misrepresenting-gender-on

Same person also made a risk assessment map, which is useful if you want to read more context about what states have been doing in relation to anti-trans bills (I do not use this map to influence where I travel; I found it today to help illustrate the current state of affairs.) https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/erins-anti-trans-risk-map-early-legislative

This article is to ground my comments about public sentiment and the "political situation down there." Even if this is just one extremist saying this, it's not like the republican party is doing anything to separate themselves from this guy's opinions. It just adds fuel to the fire and the growing anti-trans public sentiment. The article does a pretty good job explaining how those comments have impacted society. https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/cpac-speaker-transgender-people-eradicated-1234690924/

You might be wondering why I have suddenly come out of nowhere about this stuff. The answer is because all of this crap only started happening in the last 2 years! Yeah there was some arguing about bathrooms and sports once in a blue moon years back, but nobody really cared that much. Then suddenly in 2023 there were 589!!! anti-trans bills crafted.

The worst part is, I don't even actively seek out this information! The florida memo was something I accidentally found! I actually try to stay away from the news because (especially for trans people) it is SO BLEAK.

Here's an article that illustrates the rise in the crafting of these bills: https://translegislation.com/learn

And, I'm not even touching on whether you personally agree with the bills. That's not a debate I want to have. I don't really care if you personally agree the bills should be passed or if the wording in them seems logical (I feel like it should go without saying, but just to be clear: I don't agree with any of these bills, including the ones about preventing medical care for trans kids).

What I AM trying to impart on you is that the mere fact the bills exist, the mere fact there are SO MANY of them, especially so suddenly, is cause to believe that there is anti-trans sentiment and is very clearly indicative that the states making those bills, by extensions republicans, by extension YOU, MY PARENTS, would prefer that trans people do not exist (I AM A TRANS PERSON), and I do not feel safe in a state that holds a majority of people who who hold those views. I also do not feel safe in a state that borders florida, THE WORST state for these bills and sentiments.

Anyway I don't expect any sort of response from you so don't feel pressured to come up with something. But at least now I can say you have been informed.

(end quote)

He never responded or directly referred to these texts in future conversations, which I expected. These texts were sent in early April. Since then, my parents visited me twice this year, where we decidedly did not talk about politics at all.

However, my relationship with my dad was pretty much gone after these texts. I really did not see a future for our relationship. We were never that close anyway, had never reconciled as much as my mom and I had, and since this conversation (and knowing their voting pattern) I had mostly written off any future relationship with him.

But I resolved to not ACTUALLY do anything about it until the election. I was (perhaps foolishly) thinking they either would vote Harris, or not vote at all, or Harris would win and I could just keep ignoring political discourse with them.

I really did try to see it from their point of view. Did trump have decent economic policies? Maybe there was too much bloat and some branches of government could be drained.

But the people who spoke badly of Trump were vast and kept coming out. Trump's ideas come off as "I'm 14 and this is deep" and while on the surface some of the ideas seemed ok, the people he was appointing to "replace the swamp" seemed, on the whole, absolutely the wrong picks and would definitely make things worse. Not to mention how pretty much the entire world's country leaders ALSO spoke out against Trump, too.

I certainly was no fan of Harris, I thought some of her plans were BS (I consider myself fiscally conservative too, for the record!) but I thought she was certainly better than Trump so I voted for her anyway.

Trump really felt like he had no redeeming factors and all of his cabinet picks that I know about seem just as bad, if not worse, than him. I don't understand what my dad was seeing in them (or hoping for). He said he didn't like trump as a person but he thought Trump would be better than Biden/Harris.

I was hoping that, if trump's policies really weren't that great anyway, maybe... just maybe... he wouldn't vote for trump for me. Because he supposedly loved me. A person who happens to be lgbtq. And his child.

[insert Red Hood monologue about Joker here (specifically 1:53 - 2:09)]

While I do mostly live in a left bubble online, I am in a very red area of a blue state and the lefties I personally interact with are more centrist imo. So I had no illusion about this election. I knew it was going to be very close.

Still heart-breaking to see Trump win, though. Now I actually had to deal with what I'd been putting off for so long: my relationship with my parents.

Emotionally, it would hurt them far more than me. But in every other aspect, it would hurt me more than them.

After 2 days of essentially shock, I decided to ask for my uncle's opinion. My entire family is left except for my parents.

I said (heavily summarized) I'm thinking about excommunicating my parents. Do you have any opinions or advice? He said (heavily summarized) my dad is a lost cause but my mom (his sister) is all he has left and he wants to have a relationship with her. He is angry they voted the way they did but he doesn't think politics are worth sacrificing that relationship. They will continue to have a relationship and continue to not talk about politics with each other.

I said, but how do you expect people to learn if there aren't any consequences specifically to those people? He didn't have a good answer.

My mom calls me every friday. Today is friday. After the talk with my uncle, I decided to just split it up. Compromise.

I texted my mom:

(quote) I'm really upset with the election and your part in it and I'd prefer you didn't call me for a while. If you need to come up for your dad I'll still let you stay here but otherwise I need space. (end quote) [Her dad (who I don't have a relationship with) is currently in the hospital.]

And then, an hour later, I texted my dad: (quote) I'm not going to go out of my way to avoid you in person if you visit again, but I'm not interested in having a relationship with you at all.

I've taken you off my schwab accounts as POA (might not go through until tuesday) and I won't answer any future calls from you.

The only reason mom is not being cut off is because unlike you, I don't think she fully understood what she was voting for. (end quote) Today has hurt a lot, actually. More than I expected. I guess I had reconciled with them a lot more than I thought I Had previously.

I hope I made the right choice.

----

This entry is about me rationalizing my relationship with my parents. Realistically, I personally will likely be unaffected by a Trump presidency. But as I stated in my long text to my dad, it's really not about that. It's about the sentiment that it's acceptable to believe people like me shouldn't exist.

That being said, Trump's policies are absolutely horrid anyway. More specifically I am not looking forward to distrusting my food quality even more than I do currently, nor whatever they're doing with the EPA. Can't wait for our water and air quality to go to shit. Fun times! /s

I think that anti-lgbtq policies are pretty low on the priority list and I'm hoping we'll be mostly forgotten about while they dismantle everything else.

I will personally be insulated from a lot of harm, being in a blue state, passing, post-transition, and a military veteran. At this point I can really only worry about myself, because if I try to worry about other people now I'll lose it.

For everyone else, try to take it one day at a time. Trump doesn't get into office until late January, so you still have time to figure out what you want to do.

Hugs for everyone.

[sevlgi]

bubblegum pop

requested: no

group: twice

pairing: sana x fem!reader

genre: fluff

contents: rich girl!sana, college!au, cashier!reader.

warnings: none

synopsis: An unfortunately hostile encounter with the school’s sweetest rich girl might just lead to more than you ever expected.

a/n: inspired by @pearicot​‘s mean girl rosie series! (by the way, i’m not trying to feed into the “dumb sana” stereotype with this; i just thought that her personality fitted the character i was trying to achieve! does anyone wanna request continuations or scenarios in this universe 👀

word count: 3.3k

Something about Mondays the week of finals always got you in a bad mood, especially when you had  to work double shifts at the same stupid ice cream shop you’d worked at for the past 2 years of college. 

So maybe, just maybe, there was reasoning behind you snapping at the love of your life during your first meeting.

Actually, there really, really wasn’t.

There were plenty of mean girls on campus who you wouldn’t regret yelling at whatsoever, but you just happened to blow up at one of the considerably nicer rich girls.

Minatozaki Sana didn’t mean anything bad when she innocently held out a hundred dollar bill to pay for a $5 ice cream. She didn’t mean to seem pretentious, nor did she mean to mock you and your minimum-wage job, but you just so happened to take it that way.

“Really? You have to rub it in my face like that?”

Sana stared at you, the money that she held out wavering in the ear. “Sorry?”

Pinching the space between your eyebrows, you huffed out an exasperated breath. Luckily, there was no one else in the shop about to witness the stupidest meltdown of your life. “You think I don’t know that I’m poor? It’s five dollars for God’s sake, no need to bring out the big guns. Oh, or are you doing this to avoid seeming more pretentious with your daddy’s black card?”

The brunette’s hand retreated quickly, the heels of her Louboutins clacking softly against the pastel-toned linoleum of the ice cream shop. Fuck, you hated that linoleum. “I... I didn’t mean any of that, I swear! Um, is there an ATM near here?”

Once again, the girl meant well, and you took it badly. You scoffed, glaring disbelievingly at her. Some part of you was screaming out that you were putting your entire job at stake, and your morals as well, but you disregarded any common sense remaining in your brain. “An ATM for 5 bucks? Dude, just don’t.” Dipping your hand into the tip jar, you scrounged out a lousy crumpled bill and threw it down on the counter, shoving the bubblegum-flavored sweet to Sana. “Okay? Now get out, I don’t want to see your privileged ass anywhere near here.”

The dense gray clouding your mind somehow missed the hurt expression on the girl’s face as the staff door swung open. Wendy’s hands, though gentle on your shoulders, shoved you behind her with surprising force. “I am so sorry, Sana, it’s finals week. Surely you can understand? The ice cream’s on the house.”

“No, of course it’s okay!” Sana sounded genuine enough, that was for sure; you caught her glancing worriedly at you a couple times, nothing malicious whatsoever in her eyes. “I can pay though, are you sure?”

“I’m sure. See you in class,” Wendy called out, smiling all the while until the girl disappeared into the Lamborghini parked by the curb. As soon as that happened, she turned back to you, concern tugging at the corner of her lips. “Y/N...”

“Yeah, I know,” you mumbled as you crossed your arms. Already, you were regretting what you said, though you were far too stubborn to actually apologize on the spot. “No arguing with customers about capitalism. Sorry, Wendy.”

The girl bit her lip, scanning the store to make sure that there wasn’t about to be an influx of customers. Usually she enjoyed working with you; you just had absolutely terrible mood swings sometimes, and those days were nothing short of hellish for her to deal with. “Just head home. Focus on your finals, and come back next week. Okay?”

You hesitated to agree, knowing that you needed the money, but the grim expression on Wendy’s face told you that you had no other option. “Okay. Sorry.”

As you snatched up your stuff and shoved the door to the street open, you missed the sight of Sana watching you through the tinted windows of her 6-figure car.

“Really? Sana?”

“I know,” you groaned, biting down on the plastic spoon in your mouth. The flavor of the month (the only one you could eat completely free) lingered unpleasantly on your tongue, the taste of it oddly salty. “She was so nice about it, too.”

Jeongyeon and Mina exchanged glances, not touching their respective cups of “Ocean Caramel” either. It was extremely kind of them to come and accompany you on the slow days, both of them even offering to suffer through the gross ice cream with you.  “If it was Park Roseanne I might understand, but Sana,” Mina winced. Jeongyeon nodded in agreement; after all, everyone on campus knew about the reputations of Roseanne and Sana.

On one end of the “rich girl” spectrum, Roseanne was quite possibly the bitchiest one of all. She and her Bugatti Veyron, the college upgrade from her old McLaren, absolutely weren’t to be messed with. People who went to high school with you often told story of the G Wagon she smashed, the locker room she lit on fire, and so many other horror tales of a spoiled girl gone wild. You were sure that had you gone off on her, even Wendy wouldn’t have stopped you.

But on the other end, Sana was notoriously kind. Sure, her family raked in an income close to that of the other girl’s, and her wardrobe was just as expensive, but she made a point to donate to charities every time she went shopping. She tipped in the hundreds, and she didn’t ever ask for her designer clothes back when she lent them to strangers. She paid any dinner bill in full when she was there, and sometimes even when she wasn’t invited.

No one was entirely sure about the relationship between the two, but Roseanne seemed to hate Sana more than she did other people. The two fought publicly occasionally, but Sana’s kind heart made it so that even Roseanne couldn’t carry a fight very long. She didn’t respond to insults, it seemed, nor did she ever seem to actually take them personally. 

Stirring her half-melted soup, Mina continued, “Hopefully she doesn’t hold it against you. She doesn’t seem like the type, but...”

Jeongyeon shook her head, opening her mouth just as the doorbell rang. You froze when you looked up to find a designer-dressed bombshell, a sweet smile outlined in Chanel Rouge Allure. She looked completely out of place amidst tired college kids spending their last paycheck on ice cream, white gauzy sleeves and blue dress shimmering under LED lights. If you were being honest, you’d say that she was the most beautiful person you’d seen in your life, but you were always well versed in lying to yourself. “Y/N, you better go.”

“Why?” you whined, pouting at your much more responsible friends. They ignored your puppy face, though; Jihyo was usually the only one you could sway, Momo sometimes if she was feeling merciful. “I’m on break.”

“Only when there’s no customers,” Mina argued, shoving you to stand. Jeongyeon smiled at you, waving you away. “Go, and don’t screw it up this time.”

You forced a smile onto your face when you reached the counter, bowing and adjusting your name tag. “Hi, what can I help you with today?”

“Hi, Y/N!” Sana grinned, bowing back. The fact that she remembered your name only made your guilt worse; if she forgot who you were, you could at least pretend that she didn’t remember the incident at all. “Ah, could I have the same thing as last time? Bubblegum Pop ice cream, on a sugar cone today. 3 scoops?”

Nodding, you moved to open the case, avoiding the girl’s gaze as you did. “Of course.” She was quiet at that, staring at the ceiling so as not to rush you. Without prompting, you blurted, “I’m... I’m really sorry about last week, by the way. I don’t know what I was thinking, blowing up at you like that.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay!” she protested, waving a manicured hand in the air. “I promise I understand you. We all have our bad days.”

You wanted to apologize again, if just to assuage your guilt, but you held off on it, joking, “How do you deal with them? Yell at Gucci assistants?”

Sana looked honestly offended as she accepted the cone proffered to her, eyes widening in shock. “I’ve never done that, I swear! Besides, I don’t like Gucci much.”

A light smile quirking at the corners of your lips, you handed the receipt to her as well. She didn’t ask for it, probably not caring about the measly price or having the space for it in her tiny bag, but took it anyway. “I’m sure you don’t. Your total is $5.23, will that be cash or card?”

“Cash!” She held out a 10 dollar bill, pride shining behind that gorgeous face as you raised your eyebrows in surprise. When your hands brush together, you were reminded of how much better she was than you, how you probably weren’t worthy at all to be touching her with your shop-issued baseball cap and grimy apron. But Sana doesn’t seem to mind, still smiling that airy smile at you and not moving away. She broke your stare by offering, “I don’t want to sound rude, but keep the change.”

“Not rude at all,” you fully laughed that time, dishing out the remainder to stuff in your tip jar. You still felt terrible that she felt the need to apologize about such a normal comment, asking, “Are you sure it’s okay? You can have this one free too, if it makes up for me shouting at you...”

Sana shook her head, sugary light pink already mixing into her lipstick. She walked away, still waving with that gorgeous smile on her face. “It’s okay. I’ll see you soon, Y/N, you look really pretty today!”

Turning back to your friends, you whispered, “Damn. She’s really nice.”

You planned on spending your one day off from school and work cozied up with a good book and your favorite hot drink, but you supposed that getting into a fight with Park Roseanne wasn’t the worst way to go either.

As soon as you entered campus, book in hand and blasting music in your earbuds, you found a crowd of at least 3 dozen people right in front of the library building. It was unlike you to butt into others’ business, especially when it might lead to a ruined day, but Roseanne’s voice carried loud over the hushed whispers of everyone else. “--huh, Sana?”

It wasn’t any of your business, but for some reason, Roseanne’s tone when saying Sana’s name angered you immensely. Frowning, you shouldered your way through the crowd. The closer you got to the center, the more expensive the clothing that brushed against your own rough jean jacket was, cotton and leather becoming silk and velvet. You originally planned to just fit in with the other spectators, but with a shove at the small of your back, you were thrust into the center too.

To your shock, Sana’s eyes were red and shining with tears, the tip of her nose cherry-colored as well. Her head was almost bowed as she stared at her shoes, but she looked up to you when you almost bumped into her. You stuttered out, “H-hey. What’s going on?”

Instead of an explanation from the Japanese girl, though, your gaze was drawn to the blonde across the courtyard. “Didn’t you hear? Little Miss Perfect here got broken up with,” Roseanne scoffed, an infuriating smirk on her perfect face as she tilted her head at you. “By a future CEO, no less. I guess she isn’t a gold-digger, or maybe there’s some other reason that he didn’t want her anymore.”

Your hand shot out to protect Sana, a scowl making its way onto your own face. “Excuse me? From my standpoint, any future CEO is still way outta her league, so forgive me for doubting that he’s the one who didn’t want her. You’re the one dating someone who makes a tenth of what you do.”

Roseanne rolled her eyes, lips thinning. “Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that, Y/L/N, or you’ve got another thing coming. There aren’t many lesbians in this damn school.”

“You know me, don’t you?” Sana’s voice was wavering as she spoke, but it was strong enough to echo in the courtyard. To your surprise (and somewhat satisfaction), the blonde  girl’s eyes widened as Sana stood forward, her lips jutting forward. “That’s why I’m not dating him anymore. I like girls, too.”

Somehow, you’d never expected that Sana was attracted to girls, but it made perfect sense. An irrational part of you wanted to cheer, but instead, you forced yourself to speak.

“R-right.” You continued to glare at Roseanne, who finally seemed to be speechless. “Yeah, so how come you’re tearing Sana down? We should be supporting each other, but you’re being so rude to someone so kind, and that says all I need to know about you.”

Reaching out, you latched onto Sana’s upper arm and pulled her out of the circle, people parting to let the two of you through as Roseanne wasn’t able to conjure up something to respond with. You didn’t stop walking until there was only silence surrounding you under the shade of a swaying tree, finally stopping to let the girl sit. “Are you okay?” you asked, brow furrowed as you knelt to be mostly face-level with her.

Somehow, there was a smile on her face; a slightly snotty smile, but nonetheless the most beautiful one you’d ever seen in your life. You ignored the uncomfortable leap of your heart when you reached out to take her hands into your own, somehow forgetting about the hostility you’d felt towards her from the beginning. “You- you stood up for me.”

“Yeah. I did, I guess,” you shrugged, smiling slightly. “I’m sure that was rough, though, to come out. How’re you feeling?”

“Honestly, much better,” Sana sighed. She leaned back, fingers curling slightly around yours as the afternoon sun shone golden brown in the locks of hair spread out on her shoulders. “It was good to get it off my chest. I didn’t even know you were into girls, you know.”

Reaching up to scratch your head, you chuckled, “Well, I am, if it makes you feel any better. What happened between the two of you, by the way? She seems to hate you so much.”

The girl laughed, as bubbly and airy as her regular voice. “I may or may not have dated her girlfriend before. But it was a long time ago, and I’m still friends with her! Roseanne just can’t forgive me.”

You feigned shock, swatting at her arm. “How terrible of you! I’m so disappointed.”

You were stuck simply smiling at each other for a good minute or so before you looked away, picking at your shoelace for something to do. “So. Uh, Roseanne knew the whole time?”

“She did,” Sana confirmed, nodding. “She just never talked about it.”

“Well, it’s good to know that she isn’t the only other one in the school with me,” you sighed, sitting back on your heels.

Sana lurched back forward, hands clasping together at her chest. “Then we should celebrate! We can go shopping or something, and we can just be happy that we aren’t alone anymore.”

It suddenly struck you how quickly you could change the girl’s entire outlook, a smile coming onto her face with no effort from you whatsoever. But even more surprising, you smiled even larger than she did just looking at her. 

Laughing, you sat back on your heels and shook your head lightly. Seeming to take it as a rejection, Sana’s eyes widened. “Oh, only if you want to, of course! We can go wherever you want, we don’t even have to go shopping if you don’t want to!”

“No, we can go shopping,” you answered, reaching back over to squeeze her hand and pulling her up with you when you stood. “Come on, then. Let’s go celebrate.”

Sana wasn’t a great driver, but you didn’t expect much else. You were practically sick to your stomach by the time that you reached the mall, face green as you swayed out of the car.

“Ah, Y/N, I’m sorry!” Her hands rubbed lightly at your back as you squatted in the parking lot, fist held tight to your mouth. It wasn’t like you were actually going to throw up, but you didn’t want to risk ruining the girl’s expensive shoes. “I’ll let you drive next time.”

Next time? you wanted to ask. But you managed to stand, nodding quickly to ease Sana’s worry. “Yeah. It’s fine, I’m fine. Should we go?”

Immediately, she latched onto your hand, swinging between the two of you as she started to rush forward. “H-hey, lock your car first!”

Sana had unsurprisingly expensive tastes, but also surprisingly understated ones. She was fun to shop with, that was for sure- she loved to offer you clothes and also to offer to pay for them, but you didn’t necessarily hate a pretty girl telling you you’d look gorgeous in a certain sparkly dress.

She didn’t do any of the typical stuck-up things you expected her to- Sana carried her own bags, and she never forced you to follow her instead of doing what you wanted to. She did like to try on outfits and show them to you, but that could be ignored when it was just another opportunity for you to stare at her.

Eventually, you ended up having ice cream at one of the stores in the mall. You balked at the price, but Sana swiped her credit card without hesitation. “I have to admit, this bubblegum doesn’t taste as good as yours,” she pouted.

Chuckling, you savored the rich flavor on your own tongue. “You should’ve picked an expensive flavor then. Vanilla and chocolate are always good in these kinds of stores.”

“You know a lot about ‘these kinds of stores’ for someone who claims to be poor,” she teased, eyes widening as soon as the words slipped out of her mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean-”

“Nah, it’s fine,” you smiled, leaning on your palm. “I’m good with it, since we’re friends now.”

Sana grinned at that, her eyes curving charmingly. “We’re friends? Most people don’t want to be friends with me, I’m really glad you’re willing to.”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

Looking down for once, the girl mumbled, “They say I’m dumb. You know that everyone says I’m nice, but they also think I’m dumb because I pay for everything. I just want to be kind, but no one takes me seriously.”

A wave of guilt rushed over you for previously feeding into the stereotype. The more time you spent with Sana, the more you realized that she was as brilliant as any other, and far more kind. “Well, that’s stupid. You are kind, Sana, and you’re amazing. I’m lucky to be your friend.”

She clasped your hand over the table, soft skin warm over yours, pink flushing in her pale cheeks. “Thank you, Y/N. You know, this is the best time I’ve had in a while. My boyfriend didn’t even listen to me this well,” she laughed.

Despite the fact that she treated it as a joke, you felt horrible. She was all too used to thinking the worst about herself and not believing that she was worth any better, and that was the worst possible thing you could imagine for a girl with a heart of gold. Jabbing your spoon into the remaining ice cream, you blurted, “Then go on a date with me. A proper one, not just a normal hangout like this.”

Sana instantly blushed, looking down as if it’d hide her face at all. But she missed the heat that rose to your cheeks too, the nervous biting of your lip as you waited for a response. “I would love nothing more,” she smiled, her eyes shining brilliantly. “And I can’t wait.”

[nightshade-minho]

-Blue Book- (6)

Warnings: suggestiveness, future smut

Word Count: 2.4k

Chan knows what happiness is. He's felt it before in mild amounts- like the time when he was 7 and his dad bought him that toy truck he'd been wanting, or when he ate his favorite food.

As the years went by though, he found it harder and harder to feel even an ounce of that elusive emotion. It wasn't like he was a particularly sad person, either. He was just...existing.

Which is why he found you so intriguing. He watched as you rambled away between sips of your boba, accentuating your words with wild gestures. It was cute, how passionate you were about art and how happy you got when you talked about it. Chan loved making his music too-it was a welcome distraction from his hectic life. He never found himself feeling this level of enthusiasm, though.

"And yeah. That's why I think Bernini is objectively better than Michelangelo."

He smiled, nodding, though he hadn’t really paid attention to what you had been rambling about. God, he couldn't help but be fascinated by you.

This was bad. He couldn't lie to himself anymore- he was definitely starting to feel things for you that went beyond mere intrigue. It was easy to pretend he didn't like you when you weren't around...But when you were right in front of him, Chan found himself hating the way he wanted to spend more and more time with you. 

Suddenly, the door to the cafe opened. You looked up when you heard the tinkling bells, a frown growing on your face as you watched Minho walk in with Miyoung right behind him. 

You sat up immediately, glancing at your watch and shooting a quick, apologetic smile to Chan. “Uh, I just remembered I have somewhere to be, so-”

Too late. Minho smirked as he walked over to your table.

“Chan, thought you’d be here. Can we talk?”

Chan’s eyebrows knitted as he slowly looked away from you. “Okay, I guess.” He stood up, following Minho as the two boys walked out. You looked up at Miyoung, who offered you a shy, genuine smile before sitting in Chan’s spot.

“Hey, Y/n. How are you?”

“Hey. I’m good. You?” You said slowly, slightly cautious. Miyoung was one of those girls who hadn’t been particularly mean, but it wasn’t like she’d gone out of her way to befriend you either. 

“I’m alright...” She smiled again, trailing off a little awkwardly.

Her smile seemed genuine enough, but would she have smiled at you the same if you weren’t with Chan? Probably not, You noted with slight bitterness, sighing under your breath.

“Do you want some?” You spoke up, gesturing to the untouched cheesecake in front of you, tilting your head.

She shook her head, the same smile fixed on her face. “Nah, I’m on a diet. Thanks, though.” She opened her mouth, looking like she wanted to say something else, closing it and fiddling with her fork.

Awkward silence.

“I...” Miyoung looked at the fork in front of her, avoiding eye contact. “Are you happy?”

“Hap...py?” You questioned, a little confused.

“With Chan. Are you happy?”

“Oh..well yeah, I guess.” You frowned. “Um...we’re not actually dating yet, you know that, right?”

“You’re not?” Her eyes widened a little. “Oh...the way he acts around you, I thought...” She shook her head, sitting up straighter. “Anyway, I’m sure he’ll make it official soon.”

“Hmm.” You stared at the girl, her expression a little sad as she looked up, staring out the window. You tilted your head, following her gaze to Minho and Chan, who seemed to be having a conversation.

You looked back at her. “Why’d you ask that question? Are you not happy with Minho?”

“Wha- no, I am! I just... ” She paused. “Forget it. Hey...you want to come with me to the mall later?”

You raised an eyebrow. A week ago you had no friends, and now some of the most popular people at school were lining up to spend time with you. Huh.

“Sure.”

***

“Why do you want to talk? What’s up?”

Minho rolled his eyes. “Nothing much, really.”

Chan frowned. “Why’d you take me out here, then? I’ve got to get back to Y/n-”

Minho narrowed his eyes, leaning against the wall. “Chill, dude. She’s with Miyoung. She’s not going to die if you leave her alone for a few seconds. Why do you care, anyway?”

“What are you talking about?”

Minho pressed his lips together, observing the uneasy expression on Chan’s face. 

“...Whatever. Just know prom’s in a few weeks, and Miyoung’s whipped for me.” He smirked. “You better get that book fast~” He turned around, walking back towards the cafe door.

Chan watched him leave, fists clenching as he watched Minho go up to the table, greeting Miyoung and steadily ignoring you. He watched the slightly hurt expression on your face uncomfortably. He felt so much anger, all of it directed at Minho...and some of it at himself.

***

Miyoung quickly put a smile on her face as Minho entered, standing up as he slunk a hand around her waist. 

“Hey, baby.” He smiled down at her. “Let’s go, my parents aren’t home~”

“Oh...actually, Minho, I kind of made plans with Y/n.” The boy frowned at that, glancing at you. He opened his mouth to protest, interrupted by her.

“Um, we were planning to go to the mall, but you can come too! And so can Chan.” She said, smiling sweetly up at him and running a finger up his chest. “Please? I’ll make it up to you later...” She winked.

“Fine.” He gritted his teeth, looking up as Chan entered, placing a hand on your shoulder. 

“But we’re going in my car.”

***

Miyoung was a sweetheart, really. She just wasn’t the kind of girl you’d usually befriend- but someone was better than no one, right?

She ran her eyes over the jewelry on the shelves, humming under her breath. “Hm, I’m not sure which necklace would match my belt...what color is your prom dress?”

“Oh...I haven’t exactly bought one yet.”

She looked at you, her eyes widening in shock. “What? Prom is two weeks away!”

“Yeah, I know. I might just wear one of my mom’s old dresses.” You shrugged, looking at the brooch Miyoung was holding. “Ooh, that one’s nice.”

Miyoung shook her head incredulously, putting the brooch down and grabbing your wrist. “Come on. I’ll help you find a dress, just follow me.”

You groaned but let her pull you along, deciding to entertain her for the time being. After all, she was your only female friend in years, and you didn't want to lose this yet.

***

People passing by the two boys sitting at the table and sharing their fries would probably think they were friends. Two dudes, hanging out and enjoying a fun guy's night. If only they knew.

Minho slipped another fry into his mouth as he tilted his head. "So you're sure you're going to get the book within the next few days?"

"Um, yeah. I know she trusts me. We've gotten really close."

"Yeah...I can tell." Minho raised an eyebrow, swirling his next victim in the small tub of ketchup.

Chan frowned as he took in Minho's expression. "What's up with that tone?"

"Don't you think you're getting a little too close to Y/n? You could easily steal that book if you wanted to, you spend every day with her now and I'm sure she's left her bag unguarded around you." He smirked. "Part of me wonders if you actually want her around. If you're dragging this out on purpose."

Chan turned red, the implications of what Minho was saying making him swear internally. "Wh- what are you talking about? I only hang out with her cause you made that bet. Or I wouldn't have looked twice at her." He said firmly, almost like he was trying to convince himself.

Minho shrugged, devouring yet another fry as Chan's mind started racing, the familiar feeling of confusion rising up again.

***

"We shouldn't keep Chan and Minho waiting." You groaned, Miyoung choosing to ignore your pleas as she tossed yet another dress at you.

"Shh, they'll be fine. They're at the food court, and you know boys and their relationship with food of any kind. I assure you, they're not missing us. Now come on, I just know you'll look good in green." She smiled.

You sighed, tiredly clutching the dress as you went back into the changing room for the nth time. For the last half hour, you'd repeatedly tried on dresses to the point where you were ready to collapse from exhaustion. However, the excitement Miyoung was radiating made you want to please her...and it was kind of nice, the way she oohed and aahed each time you changed into a different dress. Was this what it's like to have a friend?

You stared at your reflection in the mirror once you managed to get the dress on, your eyes widening. Wow.

The silk was dark green, hugging your waist perfectly. The cut of the dress flattered your body like it was made for you. It was the perfect dress. You fell in love with it the more you turned around, assessing your reflection from every angle.

Slowly, biting your lip, you checked the price tag hanging off it. You sighed. Just as you thought.

You knew your mom would never be able to afford a dress this expensive. A sudden rush of guilt ran through you as you dropped the tag, running a hand through your hair as you moved to take the dress off.

For a minute, your hand paused on the zipper, your eyes travelling back to your reflection. For a moment, you let yourself imagine attending prom wearing this beautiful dress.

An image of you and Chan, slow dancing under the dimmed gym lights settled itself in your brain. You let a small, dreamy smile take over your face as you removed the dress. Even if you'd be wearing your mom's old floral dress, at least the Chan part of your fantasy would remain true.

***

You hadn't had this much fun in ages. So this was what it was like to hang out with friends. You wished you'd met Chan and Miyoung earlier.

The only problem? Minho. Your worst nightmare, in the form of a handsome high school boy with a devilish smirk and a weird, unprovoked hatred towards you. The fact that you were now left alone with him was probably the only downside to an otherwise wonderful day.

Miyoung had dashed into a shop, saying she'd be out in a second, and soon after Chan had dipped saying he had to go withdraw some money at the ATM. By pure, rotten luck, you somehow winded up sitting next to Minho on the mall bench as the two of you waited for your partners to come back.

You stared ahead of you, determined not to look at the boy sitting next to you. He'd always ignored you, treated you like you were the dirt on his shoe. You weren't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing you hated him as much as he hated you.

After a few minutes, Minho smirked, glancing over at you. "Why do you look so worried? Afraid your boyfriend's gone to cheat on you?" He asked, his tone dripping with fake sweetness.

You turned to look at him, glaring. God, this dude was so annoying.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Minho's eyebrow raised slightly, as he hadn't really expected you to reply. His expression faltered for a moment before his usual sneer took over his face once more.

"There isn't anything wrong with me, darling." He said, looking up and eyeing a lady in a crop top. You followed his gaze and let out a snort.

"What an asshole."

"Excuse me?"

You turned to him, anger taking over your entire being again.

"Miyoung's a sweet girl. She deserves a lot better than a lying dickhead who can't even keep his eyes to himself." You scoffed. "You should stop using her like this."

Minho's mouth opened slightly, the slight shock giving way to amusement as he grinned.

"I'm using her?" He pouted. "Hm. I guess that is wrong...I should probably take lessons from your boyfriend, yeah? Since he's so perfect."

"What do you mean?" You narrowed your eyes, slight discomfort settling in you as the man shifted closer to you on the bench.

"Just saying." He shrugged. "Channie isn't who you think he is." Leaning in, you shuddered as you felt his lips graze your ear. "I'd watch my back if I were you, sweetheart~"

He quickly drew back as he noticed Miyoung emerge from the shop, expression neutral as he stood up to go over to his girlfriend.

What was he talking about?

***

"Hey, you okay? You seem...out of it." Chan said gently, glancing at you from the corner of his eyes as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

"Oh? What- no, I'm fine." You nodded, carefully staring at your lap. Chan turned to look at you, frowning.

"You sure?"

"Uh huh." You said slowly, staring out the window as Chan drove you home. There was silence in the car, and Chan hated it. The atmosphere was thick with unspoken tension. He wanted to do something about it, but you looked so closed off and guarded ever since he got back from the ATM.

"You can...you can always talk to me, you know." He said gently, as he stopped the car in front of your house.

"I know." You mumbled, looking up at him. "I'm sorry. Thank you for today, it was fun. See you tomorrow?"

"I wake up at 5 am every day for you, now." He whined, glad your smile was back on your face. "You know, going to school that early should be a crime."

You giggled as you got out of his car, closing the door and going over to his side.

"Well then, arrest me, officer~"

Chan blushed slightly, gripping the wheel. "Bye, Y/n." He laughed, as you blew a kiss and turned to enter your house.

Chan let out a sigh under his breath. He realized slowly that for the entirety of the day, he hadn't felt all that much jealousy. He'd been too focused on you to even notice Minho's desperate attempts to induce envy in him. And after Minho's sly accusation, Chan didn't know what to believe. Could it be...

This was bad. This was really bad.

[lalainajanes]

17 + 43 for the prompts!! so happy to see that you're accepting prompts

Okay, these are from a list I reblogged awhile back thinking writing would be done (but then 2020 decided do continue to be 2020 - aka a series of awful awfulness). I’ve missed writing and I’m getting back into the habit so I decided to finish up a short-ish thing that was already in progress.

#17 was meeting at a party whilst drunk au and #43 was falling in love with their best friend’s partner au. But I didn’t get to drunk and I’m cheating a little bit with the definition of partner – my brain is an angst free zone these days!

That Perfect Stranger

As much as Caroline hates surprises, she does take a certain amount of joy in surprising other people. When she’d gotten an invite to Bonnie Bennett’s 50th birthday party, she’d immediately started investigating flights to New Orleans.

She hadn’t RSVP’d. Rude? Probably. Caroline had rationalized that, based on the invites (champagne cardstock embossed with a shimmer so subtle it had to be stupidly expensive), whoever was throwing the party wouldn’t skimp on food or drink, so an extra person wouldn’t be an issue.

It’s been about ten years since she’d last seen Bonnie, and she’s never visited Bon’s adopted home town.

Weaving her way through the thick crowds on the streets, carried along by the music and the energy, Caroline’s kicking herself for not making the trip sooner. She has a general idea of where she’s going, has the address memorized, but she’s content to take a meandering route.

That might be the slight buzz she already has going – either the drinks from the bars here are really heavy on the booze, or there’s something in them designed to affect vampires. She’s getting a few appreciative leers in her short metallic dress, but given the vast array of attire on display – from ratty jeans, to sparkly costumes, to the tiniest club skirts – she doesn’t feel out of place.

She might have to stay a few extra days and do some exploring.

Caroline’s not entirely sure how her oldest friend had ended up in New Orleans. They’d reconnected long after Bonnie had made the move. Bonnie’s never been one to brag though Caroline’s heard whispers from other acquaintances. Something about evil witches coming back from the dead, mortal danger, a showdown of supernatural species, then Bonnie showing up to kick ass and take names.

At the time, Caroline had still been committed to pretending to be human. She’d fled Mystic Falls when it became clear that far too many people wanted to kill her, had hitchhiked across a few states before her cash had run out in Chicago.

Luckily, she’d mastered compulsion easily. Chicago was home to all sorts of easy marks – business bros who genuinely thought hitting on a seventeen-year-old girl was a thing they should be doing. Typically, such a man’s only redeeming quality, which Caroline had been happy to take advantage of, was the lack of a limit to how much money he could withdraw from the ATM at once. It had taken a little trial and error, but she’d mastered feeding enough to sustain herself without leaving a pile of bodies behind.

She’d built up a nice little nest egg, had even gotten her first college degree. She’d optimistically sent her parent’s an invite to her graduation. Her mother hadn’t shown; her dad had. He’d just been armed with a stake and a jug of vervain.

After that, Caroline had given up on blending in.

She’d been flitting around the globe for about a decade when Bonnie had found Caroline on Instagram and sent a DM. At first, Caroline had been leery about another trap. Bonnie hadn’t been too thrilled to make Caroline a daylight ring, and she’d kept her old email address for years, hadn’t heard a peep from anyone she’d grown up with. Her curiosity had gotten the better of her, and she’d replied.

Stilted text conversations got longer, more fluid. Eventually, they’d progressed to phone calls. Caroline had carefully planned their first meeting, in a city where she had connections and witches were thin on the ground.

They’d had some hard conversations on that trip. Ended up spending way too much time ugly crying indoors, considering they’d been in freaking Porto in June. They’ve made up for it in the years since.

Caroline sidesteps a pack of probable frat boys – cute, she notes idly, probably tasty – twists her head a bit to make eye contact (she’s not hungry now, but who knows how the night will go). She smiles, a little flirty, only to stop abruptly as the noise disappears as if someone had pressed the pause button.

She can still see the street behind her, jam-packed with people and lit up by streetlights and neon bar signs. In front of her, however, it’s quiet. Still. Caroline jumps when a throat clears, her head whipping around to see a man in a white tux who definitely hadn’t been there before. “What the crap?” she squeaks, fangs dropping.

His face remains smooth, not even a hint of shock or fear evident. He’s blandly handsome, nonthreatening, but she’s learned not to trust outer appearances. “Miss Caroline Forbes, correct? You’re here for Miss Bennett’s birthday?”

Warily, Caroline nods.

White tux smiles, friendly now, “Excellent; she’ll be pleased you’ve made it. Can I see you inside?”

His head tips, and Caroline almost jumps when a stone staircase freaking shimmers into view. White Tux pretends he hadn’t noticed her shock, jogging up the steps. He pulls a gleaming door open. It lacks a doorknob, is instead marked with half a shiny M (probably real gold, she decides).

He waits patiently while Caroline makes her way up the steps. She’s careful, given the fact that they’d appeared magically. Between her high heels and her short skirt, even her vampire reflexes won’t save her from humiliation should she take a fall. When she’s at the top, she peers inside curiously.

She hears music again, the clink of glasses. Laughter. “Do you need to see my invite?”

Caroline’s got it in her purse, but the man shakes his head. “Not necessary. You wouldn’t have seen me if you weren’t on the guest list. Welcome to The Abattoir. I hope you have a pleasant evening.”

“Thank you,” Caroline murmurs, biting back her questions about the impressive magic this place obviously holds. No need to seem like a total yokel if she’s wrong, and cloaking gigantic buildings in the middle of a busy city is in every witch’s bag of tricks.

The lights are low, and most flat surfaces are covered in candles, lending a warm glow that bounces off ornate framed paintings and crystal chandeliers. The click of her heels is lost under the sounds of the party, louder now that she’s crossed the threshold. She follows the noise easily, walks through a set of double doors into a packed ballroom.

Caroline lifts on her toes, scanning the room, notes the party spilling out the far side, where several sets of French doors open onto what looks like expansive grounds. “Well,” she mutters, snatching a glass of champagne from a passing waiter, “Bon, you’ve been keeping some secrets.”

“I have not,” Bonnie says, and Caroline whirls, narrowly managing to avoid tipping her glass.

“Bonnie!” she squeals, shifting forward and throwing an arm around Bon’s shoulders. “Great dress.” It’s teal and short, with dramatic sleeves and a deep neckline, just a tiny bit witchy.

“I’m so glad you came!” Bonnie says, returning the hug enthusiastically.

“I am too, actually. Why have I never come to New Orleans before?” She sways a little to the music, drains her champagne, smiling when Bonnie laughs, “Seriously, I had a better time on the walk here than I have in ages.”

“We do like to hear that,” a low voice replies, just behind Caroline. She startles, dropping her glass, though it’s neatly caught by long fingertips, just next to her bare thigh, before it hits the floor.

People have got to quit sneaking up on her.

A hand lands on her hip, nudging her away from a potential collision with a nearby couple, and Caroline whirls, ready to remind Mr. Sneaky Feet that it's rude to interrupt a conversation.

The words don’t come. Caroline hadn’t realized just how close he would be.

Or that he’d be really attractive.

Her eyes dart to the champagne glass clutched in his hand, to a bare wrist, then a crisp white sleeve that’s already rolled up. His tie is askew, and his eyes are downcast, in the middle of giving her person an equally thorough perusal.

She can’t even be mad about it.

His thumb toys with the sequins that cover her dress, flicking one absently back and forth. She opens her mouth, unsure of just what is going to come out. There’s a 50/50 chance it’s either snippy – because hello, personal space – or flirty because she’s got excellent eyesight and fully believes in shooting her shot.

Thankfully, Bonnie interrupts, tugging on Caroline’s arm until she has the personal space that she’d been slow to take back for herself. “Klaus, this is my very good friend Caroline.”

There’s a definite warning in her tone. Caroline glances at Bonnie’s face, finds her expression is pleasant enough, at least to a person unfamiliar with Bon’s moods. Caroline is, however, so she studies Klaus a little more carefully. She shifts, boxing him out, and waits until Bon meets her eyes. A quirk of an eyebrow, then a tilt of her head, and Bonnie gets the message. “No, ew.”

So he’s not an ex, or someone Bonnie’s interested in. Good news, Caroline thinks, because that would be awkward considering how much she hadn’t minded his hands on her.

However, Caroline can’t help but look at Bon like she’s nuts.

Bonnie sighs, “It’s a long story. Klaus and I are…” she trails off, like she’s struggling for words.

“Partners,” Klaus supplies, smoothly shifting so they’re a circle once more. Caroline’s pretty sure he’s unused to being ignored.

“Eh, more like coworkers.”

A flutter of Klaus’ fingers and a new tray of champagne appears. He waits for Caroline to select a flute before taking one for himself. Bonnie declines with a shake of her head. “I feel like there’s a story here,” Caroline says, nudging Bonnie not so subtly with her foot to let her know that she’s a little peeved she hadn’t heard it before.

“Klaus is the one who first… invited me to New Orleans.”

Caroline doesn’t miss the hesitance. She narrows her gaze, shifting her weight to widen the distance between her body and Klaus.’ A smirk tugs at his full lips, but he sips his champagne, doesn’t press forward again. “I’m sensing the word invite is doing a lot of work there.”

He grins at that. “Truth be told, it was more of a coercion. A bit of blackmail, a few threats. But it all worked out for the best.”

Dubious, Caroline looks to Bonnie, only to find grudging agreement. “I will never admit Klaus is right about anything. But New Orleans is home now.”

Klaus’s smile turns taunting, and he lifts his glass, tipping it in Bonnie’s direction. “You’re welcome.”

Bonnie’s lips press together and Caroline feels an odd crackle of energy but then two other men, one familiar, one not, are at Bonnie’s side. The man she doesn’t recognize is taller and cups the back of Bonnie’s neck, pulling her into a kiss that’s so not appropriate for company. Enzo’s mouth brushes the side of Bonnie’s neck and Caroline knows she’s gaping at the scene like an idiot. Bonnie melts into Enzo though, her hands tugging the other guy closer. When he pulls back he tosses Caroline a salute, before spinning Bonnie onto the dance floor. She just catches his words before they’re swallowed up by the crowd, “No aneurysms on your birthday; you can torture Klaus at family dinner on Sunday.”

Enzo’s towed along, managing a wink at Caroline, “Hello, Gorgeous. We’ll catch up later, yeah?”

“Enzo, what…”

But he’s gone and Caroline resists the urge to dive in after them and start asking questions. “When did that happen?!” she exclaims, forgetting she has an audience.

Klaus leans closer, “Kol and Bonnie have been off and on for decades. They’ve been consistently on since Enzo arrived… about two years ago now.”

“I cannot believe they didn’t tell me,” Caroline grumbles. Enzo she kind of understands, he’s not the best at texting or emailing, is forever losing his phone. Bonnie should know that getting into a polyamorous relationship is the kind of juicy dirt that needs to be shared, damn it.

Klaus lifts a shoulder, “I’m not entirely sure your friend views it as serious. I expect a blow up once Kol presents her with the gift he bought for her. Possibly why he’s attempting to institute a no aneurysm rule.”

She’s dying to fish for more details, has to bite the inside of her lip to keep from immediately peppering Klaus with questions. He’s watching her expectantly though, his lips curled in amusement, and she knows that’s exactly what he expects.

Caroline would hate to be predictable.

She looks at the people near them, notes that most of them avert their eyes, as if they’ve been attempting to eavesdrop. “Klaus,” Caroline says again, letting the name roll off her tongue slowly.

“Mikaelson,” he supplies, with just a hint of a sigh. She supposes she has to give him a point for not attempting to deflect. “I assume my reputation precedes me?”

“That you’re an evil megalomaniac that’s prone to violent murderous rampages when things don’t go your way? I might have heard a whisper or two.”

He carefully avoids her gaze, sipping his drink calmly. “I’ve mostly cut down on those,” Klaus mutters.

Caroline hums noncommittally. But she doesn’t leave. “Bonnie leads the witches here, that much I know. What is it that you do?”

He moves closer, until she can feel the heat of his arm pressed against hers, skin separated by only his shirt. “I built this city.”

Caroline’s eye roll is automatic, too used to similar bragging from men who are trying to impress her. She reaches out, straightens his tie. “Sure,” she drawls, rubbing the obviously expensive fabric between her fingertips, “you seem like you build things all the time.”

He takes no offense, presses her hand flat against his chest, a laugh rumbling out of him. “You long are you planning on staying in my city, Caroline?”

His touch is light, his thumb stroking the back of her hand. It feels like an invitation, not a threat. Still, one can’t be too sure when playing with dangerous hybrids. “I assume that’s not a ‘be out before dawn if you don’t want your head on a pike’ hint?”

He circles her wrist, lifts her hand to his shoulder. He sets his glass aside, Caroline does the same. “Correct. You’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like.”

“Good to know,” Caroline says, letting Klaus lead her onto the dance floor.

She had already been contemplating a few extra days, hadn’t she?

[masteroftheblade]

What are your favorite and least favorite animes? Why do you like/dislike them?

oh god here we go lmao 🤠👍 prepare for an entire novel as always lol

my favorite animes atm are Naruto, Dragon Ball, Attack on Titan, and Claymore. Overall, my favorite genre of anime is shonen (and in case you dont know what that is, its basically shows that are marketed to young boys. it'll have shit like superpowers and poorly written female characters). My least favorite genre is Shoujo (marketed at young girls). I honestly don't hate the entire genre, I just hate how much romance is in there since im pretty romance-repulsed. If there were more Shoujo series like Claymore, I'd probably be in love w/ it. I'll start talking about these shows individually, starting w/ Naruto.

1. Naruto.

Honestly, the only reason I started watching Naruto was because my friends peer pressured me into doing it, and it actually differed from what I expected it to be story-wise. The beginning of the show started off amazing; it had excellent world building, magic systems, interesting characters, and it attempted to address how messed up the whole shinobi system is. But then Naruto got on the front page of Shonen Jump, and everything went down from there. It started to focus more on cool fight scenes than the actual plot. I wont get too much into that, because you can literally find entire blogs dedicated to dissecting that, but Naruto killed itself w/ its own popularity. That said, I love the characters and world building and I can look past most of its flaws anyway.

Would I recommend reading/watching it? Yes, but only to say you did it for bragging rights. Don't go into watching Naruto if you want deep looks into imperialism and militarized governments, because you will get the complete opposite of that :P Also the best way to watch it is to watch it with friends.

2. Dragon Ball.

I only started watching DB about a month ago, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I think its a garbage series. The fight scenes have little to no weight to them, because no matter what, the protagonist of that episode will always succeed in some way. For example, when Goku (a 12 y/o boy) was fighting Giran (a 10ft tall godzilla man) and was getting his ass beat until Goku just... randomly grows back his tail that was cut off earlier and wins. We are never told why he grew back his tail, and i think he only gets it back so he can have a cool fight scene in a later episode. Goku can literally be battling genocidal gods and he will still always win. The show also goes out of its way to sexualize/show a female character being harrassed. Every. Fucking. Episode.

That said, it is a fun show, and I really enjoy watching it. Like Naruto, I really love the characters and the world they are in, I just hate the way it was handled, and its painfully obvious that DB was made by a bunch of old men in the 80s. Unlike Naruto, however, I really appreciate how simple it is. It doesn't force a narrative about space genocide or whatever being bad, and I'm very thankful because that kind of narrative would be absolutely botched in this kind of series. It's also nice to have a show that doesn't take itself too seriously. Shows like AOT are amazing and important, but those shows can be overwhelming with their heavy subject matter. I would only recommend watching DB if you want to see some really good art/character design. Don't take the show seriously, and you'll have a good time.

3.Attack On Titan.

This anime was actually the first I've ever seen! I saw the very first episode when it aired in 2014, so I'm definetely biased in that regard, but I still try to look at this show in the most objective way I can. This show does almost everything right. The pacing, the characters, the art, the plot, you name it. It takes a concept that looks silly on paper and turns it into this grueling story about war, politics, and the trauma of being a soldier. It never treats it's characters like they're only one-dimensional, or like they are there just for one purpose only. These characters feel human in a way Naruto and Dragon Ball could never be. But there is one thing that has me concerned about this show, and its about the weirdly anti-Semitic undertones it has.

You probably heard the controversy already, but it really effected the way people on the outside of the fandom view the series. The show is heavily inspired by European culture, specifically that of Germany, and there are an ethnic group of people called The Eldians in the show that are pretty anti-Semitic in this kind of setting. The Eldian people have the capability of turning into Titans, and the Titans are what divided the world and killed millions. As a result, another group of people started doing the shit the Nazis did to Jewish people, basically making the Eldians into this weird allegory for the holocaust??? Which was kind of a shock to me when I first realized that was the angle they were going for. I genuinely did not expect that considering what the series started off as. The foreshadowing is there and all, I just didn't think they'd use real-world events as inspiration.

Now, this actually has the complete opposite problem Naruto and DB had. Naruto and DB had amazing ideas and concepts that went to shit, AOT's whole holocaust narrative was trash from the beginning.

The show could have easily had a different kind of social/political commentary without even going near the holocaust narrative. It comes off as kind of a half assed idea that people put way too much effort in, so it's kind of in this weird grey-area between "modern anime masterpiece" and "what the fuck were they trying to get across with this show?". If you asked me what the moral of the show was, I wouldn't be able to tell you.

Now, because of the fact that the Eldians can literally turn into man-eating beasts, this makes the comparison of Jewish people and Eldians very racist, and it doesn't help that Japan is still full of legitimate Nazis, making the whole situation look even worse. Since I am not Jewish, I wont speak for other Jewish people. There is a very heated debate on whether the show is racist, and frankly I don't think it's within my right to say if it is or isn't. What I will say, is that I really loved the show and appreciated the social commentary it provided, and I think a lot of people would benefit from watching it, but I think it's also important to listen to Jewish people's views on the show. For this reason, I specifically avoid reblogging AOT stuff, but I do love that show and I wont hate on people who do reblog stuff from it. It's definitely not a light watch, but it does provide a lot of thinking material.

4. Claymore.

This. Show. Was. Amazing. But. Underrated.

First off, this is a shonen show that is led by a majority female cast and a female protagonist, and all of those women are badass swordwielding lesbians and I love it. Second, the art style is beautiful. Third, the story is really interesting from so many angles, so much so I am not even going to mention what its about because you dont need to know, you just need to watch it and see what happens. The first season was an absoloute ride of a show, and if you love shows like AOT or Berserk, you'll love Claymore. Honestly, this show was what AOT should have tried to be. It also has its fair share of militarized imperialist commentary, but this is the only show on this list that actually fucking critiques imperialist ideals and has a main character that actively refuses to participate in that kind of oppressive system, choosing to fight it all together.

But the show got fucking cancelled right before the first arc even finished. You can thank shows like Naruto for that 🙃🙃🙃

10/10 Would reccomend, but just be prepared to be left on a major cliffhanger. You can try reading the manga, but it's kind of hard to follow since all of the warrior girls look the same.

[citialiin]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @forseenclade thank you ! man i am so bad at doing memes.  tagging: @blossomingbeelzebug @zhrets @lupichorous @dansiere yayayayayayayaya

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated [ z/iggy stardust is DEFINITELY not my original character, but 683 is, and every single part of how i rp ziggy from his backstory to his personality was made up by me. that being said, ziggy is still a character that exists in media. ]

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO. [ im pretty sure ziggy is tied with the thin white duke as one of b*wie’s most famous fictional personas? ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES ? / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ maybe a little overrated ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ celebrity rock god of limitless talent vs inevitable overrated washup. most celebrities are polarizing anyways ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  — there isnt much canon to go off of i think? the album barely even states if ziggy is an alien and b*wie himself got really wishy washy about it (sometimes saying z is a human who was contacted by aliens, he was an alien himself, etc). i dont think we know anything about him besides what he looks like (red hair / weird eyes / pale / “well hung” lmao) and he has a band called the spiders from mars, he plays the guitar left handed, he’s bisexual + androgynous, and he’s charming and popular with the teens but inevitably is a victim of his own ego. and he dies.  that too.  but that’s literally it! we know Nothing else about him.  so i filled in all the gaps because my brain has worms.  theres a little bit of the story that verges on fantasy (that he’s some sort of messiah messenger for “the infinites,” whatever the fuck THAT means, david) so i nix that because i prefer hard scifi.  and theres one BIG part that i just ... deleted out of his canon, in that the world is ending in 5 years in his timeline, and he’s like ... aware of this ?  but that’s dumb and confusing.  i legit dont care anymore. my OC now.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  im so embarrassed i know i could be genuine and actually try but i have brain blockajjolajlakala33lak33klak333ak3jka3akjj323j3 i guess it’s like ... ziggy is truly the ultimate expression OF humanity because he reveals everything both wrong and right about the human condition, he literally embodies the best of humanity and the worst at the same time, he’s a really interesting critique on the idea of genuineness/earnestness vs commercalism in art, the perils of fame, and also how humans are so inherently corrupting?  a lot of thematic stuff i like exploring is like what is innate to humans vs what is learned behavior, what are things that humans do naturally that ziggy mimics out of his desire to be like us?  i think he has a really good story arc -- he went from being a literal nameless CLONE in a society full of pragmatic forward thinking science-oriented people to a sell out rockstar celebrity in a society of people that value individualism and self expression and art, but in the process completely lost his mind and himself and gave into the worst that humanity has to offer like rampant selfishness, drug abuse, self destructive tendencies, etc. characters changing is always interesting and ziggy truly changes for the worse -- but he is never just black and white, he was never good and then suddenly evil, he just was always the same person putting on different facades and trying to be himself by constructing an identity that maybe was who he wanted to be versus who he actually is.  i dont know what im talking about. hes just an alien trying to be too hard to be human in all the wrong ways.   i just like how “gray” ziggy is. he isnt good or bad, he can be very nice and he can be very mean, he’s overtly showboating confident but at the same time deeply afflicted with self-consciousness (why tf else would anyone be So obsessed with how they present themselves?).  hes an icon of individualism but also commercialism.  he’s freakishly alien but is almost more human than humans themselves.  he struggles as lot in his head -- which makes for interesting writing, i guess !!  Im so emabrrased im not going to go back and read what i wrote so if i typoed dont look at me

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  i think ziggy comes across as really mean and nothing else.  his horrible bitchy rudeness comes across as hee hee hoo hoo sassy isnt he a rascal when it’s supposed to be more like ... he’s so far gone into the celebrity delusion he’s conflated aggressive rudeness with charmingness because no one told him otherwise and everyone worships him to the point where he’s just given into the delusion that he can do no wrong.  i think theres the general simplification problem that happens with a lot of fictional characters, it’s easy to see him as just a whacky sassy glittery quirky rockstar when i guess it avoids the inherent tragedy of like ... everything else about him. his totally fake and false sense of identity built up from superficial things like fame and labels and stardom.  maybe my version of ziggy is just too weirdly depressing and sad when i know his original iteration wasn’t quite so ... grim.  im not very sure tbh.  

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  hmmm ... a lot of things! i just really got into b*wie stuff in early 2019, i’ve ALWAYS loved aliens and sci-fi, and i was really shocked that db sets up such great visual storytelling potential but does it through music.  i just really liked ziggys “story” and i like any chance to think about aliens so i just got invested into piecing together a little backstory for him using, like, the cumulative knowledge of literally every other piece of science fiction ive ever consumed in my life.  this was summer 2019 when i was making initial pitches for my thesis film, and so i just randomly decided to pitch “animated version of ziggy stardust” as one of the potential ideas.  shockingly everyone liked it a lot and so did my professor who thought it was really cool, and then i just ended up sticking with the character and working on him for an entire year.  ziggy became my hobby but also my homework.  he was such a fun character because everything about him was interesting to me and i had just enough source material to have a starting point but so much room to take him in any direction i wanted to.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  honestly, yooooou guyssssss. i have some really amazing fwends that ive met thru here .... and some of our dumb stupid stories have literally become NOVEL length. it just self generates inspiration because you realize the limitless amount of stories you could tell with this one single character when your character enters his story or he enters their story and etc. etc.  ive drawn endless amounts of comics and stuff for him ... ziggy is just so endlessly interesting ...   cringe be cringed bro but recently (i know this sounds dumb bear with me or die.) ive kind of realized a lot of how i rp z comes as some metaphor for the experience of being an asian immigrant/being asian in the US -- his home “culture” is a lot stricter than the rampant selfish individualism of the usa (he only lives in the uk and usa, so he thinks the whole planet is like this), he’s dissuaded from standing out from his community and his selfishness becomes a community burden rather than a personal flaw, and when he does come to earth, he goes through such awful culture shock, literally nothing makes sense to him and everything is Different.  and while some things are different in a Nice way, something things are different in an Awful way, and he’s given the option between losing his true personal identity as an atominan and giving it up to be a human.  the allure of being a human is a little too much but losing yourself like this is traumatic, in a way.  obvs like ... a little silly and definitely not something that i actively intended to put into his story arc, its just something that fell into place cuz i guess i worked so closely with my own personal experiences and feelings of “alienation” (pun intended) to try to understand how he would feel being a literal alien an shid. its cathartic to write about him. but he also has a lot of my own personal interests just thrown in -- 70s fashion, scifi, science, tryhard implications about human nature, art history, whatever dumb nonsense i get into

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES?

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO  [ i would prefer information to spring up organically in the story but cuz threads always get dropped i end up just telling people outright. i didnt want anyone to know his home planet/his old name but barely anyone writes enough with ziggy to get to that point to reveal it (i legit managed to do it organically Once) so i just had to write it in a post lmao orz ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ wrote a ton of drabbles ! drew a ton of comics! ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO 

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / I DUNNO?

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES  / NO. / IDK ? 

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  definitely!  like i said ... my version of ziggy ended up being the protag of my thesis film and for 1 yr straight his characterization, backstory, design, and even how i wanted to animate his fucking movements (ziggy stardust timing charts.) were beaten to death in a classroom environment, torn apart and rebuilt into something better.  had i stayed with what i originally wanted to go with, ziggy would be so different than how i write him 2day. amazingly my pre production professor is a literal two time emmy award winning storyboard artist and animator so he definitely helped me design him (my version of ziggy is meant for ... a cartoon, obviously, not real life) and give him a better backstory?  and my post production professor is a retired disney animator who worked on hercules and a bunch of old disney channel shows?  had i gone wah wah wah i dont want to hear ur critiques i wouldnt have made him better.  if you ever think ziggy seems inconsistent or poorly written ... tell me !! i literally major in ... animation. cartoons. entertainment.  my job is to entertain you. if you are not entertained, there is a problem.  ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED ????

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I LOVE QUESTIONS? i love ... answering questions ... if you ask me something ill come kiss you.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  sure! i dont know why that would happen, though, because i mean ... he’s an OC. but i gues someone could be like “i feel like this is incongruous to things you’ve previously established in his character” or somethin

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  i feel like a lot of b*wie stans would find my version of ziggy weird but i mean thats fine!  i guess my goal is to have a well written character, not necessarily an accurate version of ziggy

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  if you hate MY version of ziggy thats fine but if u hate ziggy stardust in general (like the bowie concept) then u need some taste what the fuck is cooler than a egomaniac genderless bisexual rockstar alien with red hair? nothing. go back to watching your CW shows you dirty filthy normie

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  yes! dm me though. dont clown me on the dash like that.  i usually write your replies 12 AM - 4 AM so it’s expected.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  hmmm ... maybe! i do like to talk to people and i am VERY nice, trust me, if youre ever sad ill do everything i can to make you feel better. but im quiet! i dont really reach out to people and i tend to just keep to myself.  im not very social or extroverted at all haha i barely can make ooc posts without feeling like god’s coming to beat my head in with a brick. im sitting here at 5:30 AM with this meme feeling like if i post it i will die (BUT I MUST)

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Punk Girl/Civil War Submission by The Wild West Pyro

Heyo, good morning/afternoon/evening/night

My friend on discord (The Wild West Pyro) had an absolutely mind-blowing theory concerning who the band ‘Punk’ Girl is, why she’s important to the story, and how she will lead to the rift in the Calypso Twins relationship. I don’t want to spoil anything for you guys, so I’m just going to dive right in.

(A majority of this will be directly from our conversation, with [some edits by me] to help with context and add in pictures.)

Here we go!

So we figured Punk Girl is in some way related to the CoV, or the cult in general, as she makes an appearance on what seems to be a cult-centric shirt on the gearboxloot instagram page (more credit to @ifalnasminiatures for providing me with this link!) 

“Well, there are [a few] ways this could go:

Punk is linked to the COV and is intended to spread their message even further with the typical subliminal brainwashing thing. So they can broadcast outside of the planets the Cult has a presence on.

It’s a sore subject between the Twins, but one they hide rather well. The girl is related to them, she’s just considered by one of them as “that disgrace who refused to reclaim the birthright and ran off to join a band instead, ugh.”

She’s a band that works for the Cult sometimes. But in fact, she’s the eyes and ears of the Alliance within the Cult. Best of all is that she’s directly related to the Twins. Secretly, she disapproves of what they’re doing, but she’s the Alliance’s best hope of what’s going on.”

[That last one is the one he goes over the most, and it’s super interesting.]

“The Twins never suspect that the spy was in fact the one closest to their hearts.”

[my response: It would explain why there are no other bosses on the MoM that we know of (excluding the twins bc those are guaranteed), because she’s never going to become a fight even tho she looks the part]

“Also, [regarding] the last bit of your post, it’s just asking for a sidequest where it’s revealed that all the Gen 3.0 VHs known how to play some sick bass.

Punk Girl: ‘Hey, my bass guy is sick, can you take over?’

Zane: ‘FECK YEAH’”

[We talk a bit here about a Scott Pilgrim-esque Battle of the Bands, with Mr. Torgue as the competition, so there’s a bit of a transition that’s missing.]

“Hey, you know how Athena encrypted her messages between Engorge commercials? Punk Girl cleverly hides her messages in her music or backmasking. That’s how she sends her info to the Vault Hunters.

The twins never suspect a thing, and when she finally reveals she’s been working for Lilith, they’re genuinely shocked- and then the rift develops. One sibling would want to protect the girl, the other would want to punish her. The twins seem extremely close, so I personally feel it’d be odd if one of them up and betrayed the other [without outside influence].

It would be a great twist, too. Jack always had something planned out to trip up the Vault Hunters. But Lilith has learned much within these seven years. It turns out, Lilith is far better at pulling the strings than we ever thought Tyreen was.

Also, when Punk Girl reveals that she’s a spy for the Alliance (likely mid-game), this happens:

Tyreen screaming “YOU BITCH” amongst other horrible things and ECHOing up Punk Girl to verbally abuse her for hours, which continues through the rest of the game.

Troy trying to gently persuade his youngest sister to “Please come back” and “I don’t want to kill you”, attempting to smooth-talk her back into supporting the Cult. He keeps on ECHOing her gift baskets.

The twins arguing with each other over the fate of Punk Girl. Which, if done right, could potentially lead to a civil war within the Cult…

And to think it was all over a nice girl in a cool band.

Of course, both Troy and Tyreen are trying to kill the Alliance still, they’re just now divided over the fate of the girl and who’s gonna get the power of the vaults.

Which would add a human layer to it all- in the end, it’s just two selfish children squabbling over some big, universe-shattering toys. Albeit with billions of lives ended in the crossfire.

The war predicted by the Watcher was terrible. Zarpedon said so as well.

And, honestly, nothing’s more brutal and vicious than a civil war several galaxies-wide.”

[It was at this point that I absolutely lost my shit (in a good way) bc goddamn bro]

“Ideally, Tyreen goes out of her way to harass, demean and try to ruin poor Punk Girl’s life, and the [Crimson Raider] Alliance have to help her stand emotionally as Punk Girl undergoes a truly horrible campaign of cyberbullying, physical assault, very violent death threats and actual attacks on her band members. Tyreen mobilizes all her loyal followers to just try to hurt Punk Girl on whatever way they can.

Troy is a little different. He’s supposed to represent the streamer who manipulates fans into giving him what he wants, or scams folks by pretending to be disabled or whatever. Or the handsome fellow who’s a total self-centered jackass on the inside, but charms many people’s hearts nonetheless. So he tries to subtly brainwash Punk Girl into returning over to the Cult, and sweet-talking her to try and get her back on his sides. He’s like the caring, warm big brother on the surface, but really he just wants a new loyal sibling at his side, someone he can control far more easily. Troy’s promises are extremely alluring, his followers appear to be proposing an alliance with the Raiders (which Lilith refuses at all costs) and it’s going to be difficult for Punk Girl to resist his brainwashing techniques and honeyed words.

Basically, protect Lilith’s most treasured and loyal agent, including asking out Atlas and maybe other friendly corporations for favors to protect Punk Girl and her bodyguards (the new VHs). Bonus points if Punk Girl really is a latent Siren or something, and her power has to be safeguarded.”

[So, we know the unknown Sirens (there are two atm) are, if we understand Siren powers correctly: 12 and 7 at the time of bl3. 

HOWEVER. It’s been stated by Danny Homan that there are multiple ways for someone to receive Siren powers: 

The most important part of this exchange is the idea that, in universe, somehow, existing people can become Sirens. Now, I am not sure if this is solely through other Siren powers (Tyreen), or Vault bullshitery, or if they just wake up one day with the tattoos, but according to Homan, it’s definitely possible. In fact, I would go so far as to say the writers are keeping things intentionally vague for this reason.

What I’m trying to reason here is that even if Punk Girl is older than 12 or 7 (odds are she is, if she’s in a band!), she could still be a Siren, just that she got her powers at a later age, like 11 or so, meaning she’d be about 23 or 18 in BL3, respectively]

“If Angel does return, and Punk Girl is going through utter hell thanks to the twins, Angel will be the finest confidant and greatest friend she’ll ever have. Angel went through similar treatment at the hands of Jack, and she’s not going to let another girl with wings get hurt again. 

I mean, most of Punk Girl’s story arc would be heartbreaking, as it really seems like the Twins have fully turned their wrath on her rather than Lilith and the Alliance. Luckily, the Vault Hunters are there to act as her shield. Like, whenever you pass her in the ship, your character can give a random line of encouragement in the really tough times she’s going through, or something like that. 

And if Punk Girl turns out to be the final Siren after all, Lilith, Angel, and Maya would all ensure that she’d never be hurt like they were in the past. 

As the abuse Punk Girl would be receiving is from her own blood relations, [it] would be far more painful for someone to experience.

Now, for how the corporations may get involved, they’ll probably just start by trying to exploit this new galactic-wide civil war (especially as it’s hinted that the Twins do mass brainwashing or something [in the] Psycho character guide), then throwing each others’ armies at their rivals in support of one Twin or another. Although I’d imagine that Atlas and maybe Jakobs would stay out of it. [In addition], the Hyperion analyst in Moze’s ECHO from Commander Lily has dialogue that implies that all the corporations are preparing in case a Second Corporate War breaks out, since the first one essentially made the BL universe what it is now.

There we go, we have the war set up, as entire populations turn on each other, having become psychos pledging undying loyalty to one of the Twins. It’s going to be a mess.

[To end] on a comical level:

Maya: (hugging both [Ava and Punk Girl]) I love my dumpster children.

[Also:]

Tyreen, with this red background and thrash metal playing in the background and “angry war face” makeup: HEY MY WHORE OF A LITTLE SISTER, YOU ARE A [insert hate speech from evil liverstreamer gremlin here].

Troy, in a fancy suit and in a warm armchair with a fireplace roaring behind him: Hello, little sister. You remember the time we played at the beach together? Well… [insert sentimental tale of sibling love and fun here that is really a thinly veiled plea to rejoin the Cult].

That’s it, that’s both their streams from that point on.”

[I don’t have much to add, to be honest. This was great.

I love the whole thing, all the way down to his characterization of everyone involved. I can totally see Tyreen being the loud, explosive one out of the two, with Troy being quieter, but far more manipulative. I think it would contrast nicely with their designs and what people might be expecting from them, especially with how Troy is the big one with his cybernetics and always scowling, and Tyreen is shorter, always smirking and looking like she’s in control. It’d be so funny to see those two roles reversed and I really, really hope that’s the plan. Especially after the reveal that Troy is the one with the braincell lmao.

The idea that this small incident could end up causing a huge, brutal war, not just between the twins, but the corporations as well, is great. We know the Watcher claims ‘war is coming’, and this would help explain what we should expect. It would be very interesting if we needed to pick a side of aid at the start of the fight (i do imagine this will be Troy if The Wild West Pyro’s characterization of the twins is true), then turn on that side once the other is eliminated.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I do!! Massive credit to The Wild West Pyro for literally all of it. It was a really fun read.]

[midnightsdarkangel]

Mark of the Beast CH2

And chapter 2 is here! Chapter 3 is currently being written atm so hopefully it shouldnt take too long. but till then enjoy some more feels~

Summary: Fukami hasn’t been doing too well, she wished they had longer but she knew their fate the moment they met. Its not easy having a kraken as your familiar. 

"Is he alright...?"

Wadanohara walked downstairs only to stumble upon Dolphi and Memoca at the front of the stairs looking up at her, worried. It was sweet to know how much they cared for each other; when Fukami had collapsed on the boat, Dolphi ran out despite her fear for the weather. The two looked up to Fukami, and sometimes Wadanohara did too. He always protected them when things got hard. Despite how little he spoke, he was kind to them. It made Wadanohara feel happy to know, despite how isolated Fukami felt at times, he really was loved. But her mind returned to the more pressing matters at hand.

She sighed and walked down to meet them, trying her best to sound reassuring. "He's fine now; just a bit exhausted, so it's best to let him rest."

The two familiars looked to each other and just nodded and grinned. "Good, I thought I needed to go upstairs there and cheer him up myself," Memoca proclaimed, holding her hands to her hips proudly. Dolphi giggled, amused by her actions as the two began to talk to each other about how they would try and make him happy when he wakes up.

As they chatted, Wadanohara snuck out and away. When she got outside, she carefully shut the door and set her sights on the castle. Not really wanting to be held up by anyone encountering her, she focused her magic to summon her anchor. Pulling it down to be level with her, she carefully climbed on and pushed her feet off the ground to get some distance before setting off at high speeds. Her hair blew hard against the air; she had to keep a hand on her hat at all times so it wouldn't fall off. The world below her looked wonderful. It was so nice to see the town from up top. Though it was more of a blur, she did appreciate the times she was able to just fly above.

Once she reached the castle, the anchor burst into small bubbles. She pushed hard on the large doors, hearing them creak loudly as she cracked them open.

"Wadanohara?"

She jumped, shocked, and almost lost her balance, tumbling backwards to be caught in the arms of a surprised Tatsyumia.

"A-Ah!" In a flush of embarrassment, Wadanohara leapt to her feet and looked down shy.

Tatsyumia couldn't help but smile in amusement. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself. What are you doing here then?" she queried, looking at Wada's startled expression.

It was actually perfect timing that she would find her mentor here alone, instead of trying to ask for her privately in front of the others. Tugging Tatsyumia's arm, she wore a worried frown. "I need your help... It's Fukami."

Tatsyumia's curious face turned grim as she took Wadanohara by the hand and led her across the bridge to a more secluded area near the old sea. Once they were alone, she sighed and turned to Wadanohara, sounding gentle but still had a stern tone to her voice. "Is it happening?"

"I... I'm not sure... When we were coming back, he just collapsed! It was scary... He couldn't breathe, and he was trembling. I had to use my magic to knock him out before he harmed himself." Wadanohara explained looking away, regretting not realising something was wrong sooner. It was terrifying, watching her own friend cry in pain right in front of her and not even knowing what she could do. "When I checked his mark, it was pretty warm. He told me it would burn at times."

Tatsyumia sighed and took a few steps away to look out to the horizon. It was a tense atmosphere. Wadanohara had never thought she would ever have to talk about Fukami's condition so soon. She had assumed it would take much longer before he would even show signs, or that he had overcome it during the time they had spent together. But it seems it was all in vain...

"Don't worry, Wadanohara..." Her mentor's hands touched her face, gentle and slow. "It's good you've come to me now rather than later. Can you bring him here when you get the chance? I think the princess should know."

Nodding, they both just stood in silence and shook their heads to try and get out of this grim atmosphere. Even though Wadanohara was nervous, she was glad she had someone to go to. Wadanohara herself had no clue what on Earth she would do if she had to figure it out herself. She had never personally experienced anything quite like this... It was something her father and Tatsyumia knew better.

"Thank you." She smiled, feeling Tatsyumia ruffle her hair as she summoned her anchor.

All she could do now was just wait and see.

--

"Guys, I'm back, I was just taking a walk-"

When Wadanohara returned home, she was met with a rather funny sight. Fukami, seemingly already a lot better when she had seen him before, was sitting on the couch with both Memoca and Dolphi beside him. The two was busy fussing over him with plasters and drawings to make him feel better. His arms were completely covered in bandages, which from observation were poorly tied. Fukami noticed Wadnohara come in and despite his blank look, she could tell he was a bit uncomfortable.

Wadanohara couldn’t help but laugh, alerting the other two. "What are you two doing?"

Memoca quickly sat up and waved at Wada as she approached them to sit on the other side. "We decided to take care of Fukami while you were gone since he was hurt!"

Wadanohara was tempted to tell them it wasn't really physical pain that was burdening him, but just seeing how much they cared was sweet. She giggled, "Ok, you two, I'll take over now."

They nodded and hugged Fukami before running into the other room. Once they had left, Fukami let out a long sigh and slouched on the couch. He looked exhausted from all the attention. She went over and gently started to unravel the bandages from his arms. Fukami looked away as she got close, his heart racing as he felt her warmth.

Wadanohara, however, wasn't aware of Fukami's embarrassment as she gently took off the plasters and stepped back with a smile. "Sorry I was gone for so long, I went to see Tatysumia."

Fukami flinched. "I don't need her help..."

It was a sore spot for Fukami, regarding the members of the castle. Wadanohara wasn't sure what had exactly went down before she had met him, but it was clear it was something he refused to talk about. She wasn't around when the red sea was sealed away, but sometimes she wishes she was, just to see what had happened. It was obvious Fukami was there before Wadanohara was even born. It was odd to see him get defensive over the past when normally he was indifferent to a lot of things. He might not show it as obvious as Memoca would; he was more subtle with his emotions, something Wadanohara had learned to understand over time. Fukami was socially awkward, being isolated for most of his life, and the constant abuse and hate he received from others made it hard for him to fully express himself. Wadanohara learned there were two things Fukami felt safe doing: one big one was using his tentacles. It was super rare when Fukami would do anything with his hands, as he always had his tentacles on the job to do whatever he wanted while his hands were tucked away in pockets or hidden.

Wadanohara was always interested in familiars, or creatures as a whole. From living in the sea kingdom, there were always two types: ones who preferred to stay in their original form, and those who could change into a human at will. Of course the traits of whatever animal they originally were would show in their new form, some more subtle than others. What came with that also was their instincts. Familiars, despite how much they seem human, are still creatures in the end, creatures who developed and learned over time. In a sense, they had their own form of magic. She would instantly think of her own familiars in her observations. It seemed people like Sal and Samekichi were able to alter forms back and forth, while Memoca and Dolphi, being the youngest of the group, only maintained their human forms. A part of her assumed it was preference, but also how strong the familiar was. Transforming back and forth was the same as using her magic - you needed endurance.

And then there was Fukami. When Wadanohara looked at him, he was different. Not in a drastic way – no – it was how you could tell what his mannerisms were like. Despite his human body, he relied more on his tentacles and animal senses more than anything else. She had always meant to ask him all sorts of questions, but for him it was a bit more sensitive than that. Never once had Wadanohara encountered an octopus with the mark – heck, finding any octopuses lately was a rare occurrence. Most had been locked away or killed in the past. For Fukami to be the newest victim to its curse made her heart hurt. If her theory was correct, down the line it wouldn't be long before Fukami would forget even her, he would forget his morals... who his friends were... The only remaining thought on his mind would be to hunt and destroy.

And of course, there's the other thing Fukami fell back on for reassurance: the fact he wasn't forced to speak. Fukami never really said much, mainly more on the moments where it was needed. Idle chatter was something he tried to avoid, but not because he didn't want to – God, no. It took Wadanohara a week for him to confess, he just... genuinely didn't know what to say. Being away from people for so long, he wasn't even sure how to have a normal conversation, always fearing he might say something wrong.

Just unraveling the bandages from his arms, she couldn't help but look at him with concern. He was still too young for this... much too young. For him to start showing signs terrified the sea witch.

"What am I going to do with you...?" she muttered softly, cupping his cheek in her hand. Fukami didn't say anything but looked at her surprised as she gently pressed her forehead onto his. "I promise I'll help you... So please, you need to trust me on this."

The two stayed there in silence. Fukami carefully reached out to touch her arm, but flinched and withdrew. Instead he let his tentacle do the job, brushing her hair back and pulling her to sit down beside him. Despite his discomfort to receiving help, he loved Wadanohara... He loved her with all his life. The fact she was even doing all of this for him was a foreign feeling, something he didn’t want to lose.

He sighed. "I'll accompany you tomorrow to the castle..."

Wada smiled. “Good. Now you need more rest, ok?”

Fukami was about to argue he wasn’t tired, but the drowsy feeling told him otherwise. He grumbled to himself as he laid down, slowly resting his head on her lap, his body getting weak as he felt himself slip away. He looked absolutely adorable to Wadanohara, who thought it was nice seeing him calm. Looking out the window, it was already beginning to get dark out. Her own eyes began to close as she yawned and tried to sit up. But she felt Fukami's tentacle tug her arm not to leave, mumbling something as he pulled her closer to him. Flustered though amused, Wadanohara stayed put until he was satisfied. Her hand absentmindedly stroked his hair, feeling for his neck to feel if it was warm. It still was, but not as bad as it had been a while ago. His breathing was slow and steady. Curling around Wada slightly, he looked vulnerable. Her smile faltered as she looked at the window. “I'll keep you safe… I promise.”

--

“Wake up! I'm hungry!”

Wadanohara jolted awake, face to face with Memoca on her bed, who was staring at her with a pout on her face. It took her a few seconds to realise she had fallen asleep in her dress. She also realised that last night she'd slept with Fukami. That made her heart race with embarrassment. She jumped up, looking around, and noticed he was still sleeping with his face buried in the pillow. It looked hilarious – his hair was ruffled up and he was tossing and turning in his sleep.

“A-Ah… I'll be downstairs soon.” Watching Memoca go downstairs, she sighed and walked to a mirror to inspect how she looked. Her clothes were wrinkled from rolling around in them. Thankfully, Wada knew just the spell to fix it. She gave her skirt a quick brush off before closing her eyes. Her hands gathered energy as she focused on her clothes, and soon they glowed faintly, restoring their condition nice and proper. She gave a little twirl around, happy with the results, and followed Memoca downstairs.

Some time had passed, and Fukami had finally opened his eyes. “Hnn…” he grumbled, lifting his head from the pillow, dazed to what was going on.

“Morning Fukami, how are you feeling?” Wadanohara asked curiously, walking beside his bed.

She watched him groggily sit up, rubbing his eyes. “Still tired…” he groaned.

He would do his routine Wada had watched him do countless of times. His tentacles would do all the work while he would try to wake up. He slipped his coat off and hung it up while brushing his hair. It must be useful to multitask the way he did, Wada thought to herself, watching how easy it was for him. With magic, sure, she could do the same thing, yet it never really occurred to her as something she needed to do. For Fukami, however, it was just part of his nature.

“Are you making breakfast...?”

She snapped out of her thoughts. “Ah, you're right!” She exclaimed, quickly running downstairs before Memoca would try and tackle her out of hunger, leaving him alone.

--

God, that was so embarrassing, Fukami thought, his hands covering his face as he moaned in agony. He laid on her lap, and made her stay! Normally he wouldn’t do that, he was too shy and stubborn. To Wadanohara, he had to be her mentor, her familiar... And yet, he felt safe in her warmth. He could hear her downstairs with the others as he laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He’ll come downstairs later, he thought, as he rolled on his side to the window. The burning had gone down, thankfully – not completely, but it was bearable now as he didn’t have to flinch when people touched it. A part of him considered if maybe Tatysumia would help him, but another part felt irritated that Wada would even think that they would help him: some sort of monster that no one even cared about. His hands gripped the sheets as he tried to think of something else, anything. He really wanted to make some excuse that he was busy, or accidentally do something that caused them to postpone their visit to the castle. But Wadanohara was persistent, he knew that very well already.

Fukami loved that about her, though.

He just wanted to tell her how he felt inside. Wadanohara was the only one to make him feel complete, but Samekichi… That shark had stolen her heart... No. He was always in her mind even before the two had met. Even though he was in the red sea, she still cared about him, constantly smiling and reassuring to everyone he was coming back, when really he could tell it was for her sake more than anyone else's. At first, when the shark had left, he thought she would finally get over him and pay attention to him for once, but seeing her suffer was not worth it. It never was. But what was he supposed to do? It wasn’t fair of him to even think this way, yet it would be on his mind constantly. He wanted to steal her away, but he didn’t want to make her upset. She was his everything, his life, his purpose. Without her, he was lost... and now that this stupid curse was taking its course, he felt bitter that the only reason she paid any attention was because he was suffering.

He’d never tell her. She can’t know how he feels. If he did, it would ruin everything. Either she would laugh at him as if it was a joke, or she would slap him and be shocked he would even think that she was okay after Samekichi had left. It was better to suffer in silence than to break her heart further by making her choose what she really wanted.

“Fukami, breakfast is ready!”

He would protect her no matter what...

Shaking his head, he stood up and sorted his coat out only to feel sick inside. He coughed harshly into his hand, his world spinning for a few seconds... and then he realised he was coughing up blood. Black blood.

“Come on, I’m gonna eat your food if you don’t come!” Memoca shouted up the stairs.

Fukami tried to keep calm, quickly wiping the blood off. “I’m coming, hang on.”

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 11: “Recalibrate How I’m Playing This Game” - Caeleb

okay I'm writing a long confessional then going to bed.

Jules was robbed. I was really gonna idol them when Jones/Caeleb told me Jules was getting votes, but Jules was only getting 5, and I naively thought both that Jason wasn't going to flip and Tom wouldn't self vote AGAIN ASKDLJFAF.

I'm frustrated because I love Jules. Jules was robbed and deserved better than having to deal with Alex who like will tell Jules they made a mistake and ugh. I'm frustrated that I didn't idol Jules, even though it wouldn't have been smart and would've put me in a tough game spot, its just all super tricky sigh.

in other news, Jones/Mo/Mitch need to go. I'm super proud of Mo for doing something (like genuinely) and not playing passively, I defo underestimated him, but him and Jones have way too much sway on this tribe, tied to Mitch who is clearly able to work people.

I think a good end-group for me would be Me/Benj/Tom/Julia. I really really like Caeleb but he actually is playing super smart, so I really don't think I can have him sticking around much longer.

I think a good new bootlist is: Jones > Mitch > Mo > Jason > Caeleb

I'm just frustrated because Jules was robbed and really did not deserve that, Mo/Jones are too powerful, and now so is Mitch. I'm gonna idol one of them out, and I'm going to love doing it.

Holy fuck what the fuck that worked. Ok so here’s what just went down, Jules said to Jason that she’d be fine voting out either me or Mitch. People were leaning towards Mitch. We had like 20 minutes left and we started discussing and I threw out to Jones, what if we get Jules out, but she kinda ignored it and carried on with the Mitch plan. Because Jules has a lot of connections I can understand why Jones would be hesitant. So then I throw the pitch rob Caeleb and Mitch throws the pitch to Jason and they’re both on board. But that would of only been five people. Meaning it most likely would of tied so we were like ok I guess we’ll just vote Mitch. BUT THEN BENJ GETS ONLINE and he’s like “Yeah I’ll vote Jules.” SO I SCRAMBLE BACK TO CAELEB LIKE WAIT VOTE JULES WE HAVE THE NUMBERS. SAME WITH JONES AND JASON. WE GET JULES OUT. Which of course is sad because she’s literally a sweetheart and she’s super funny, but she had so many people in her corner and her and Ali combined was a scary combo. BUT I MEAN I HAVE A COOL GAME MOVE IN MY POCKET NOW THAT I DID (with Mitch) BUT WOW ME.

Whew chile!!! I must admit that vote was VERY scary and VERY hectic. I thought for a moment my game was ending. Thankfully my social relationships with people allowed me to stay and send the person who was targeting me home (Jules). Now this is GREAT for me because i trusted Jules the least on the merge tribe. The communication thing never worked out between the two of us but i still find her to be a very nice person :). In regards to the vote, Mo/Caeleb, Benj, Jason, and Jones all voted to save me. To me, I feel like this means im in a really good position because everyone likes me enough to SAVE me. Up until 5 minutes before the deadline, I thought i was done for. I gotta be careful with who I work with in the future because my threat level is rising. People in touchy subjects saw me as the one who thinks they are running the game but are not, but man is this far from the truth. I'd like to say that although I didn't know what was going on COMPLETELY, I still pretty much helped/forced the target onto the person who went home. Ian- Told Alex about how I suspected Jason and Ian of being a duo (correct assumption according to ali) and everyone ended up splitting between the two (I did not care who went). Alex- I pushed very hard for alex to go because he was so dang controlling and i found that very threatening. Jules- targeted me first but I never trusted her because of how little we spoke. When she decided to target me it was the icing on the cake. Hopefully these next few rounds are smooth sailing because we NEED easy votes for at least a little bit.

okay so i am trying SO hard for immunity, like its not even funny. i think i have 100+ points right now, with more videos uploading and with more planned photos tomorrow. immunity would be SO sweet, because that'd guarantee me a spot in the F8, and with my idol F7.

in other news. if i haven't said it enough, it must be said again. BENJ IS SUCH A KING. like today he told me he wants to go to F4 with Julia and Tom. I truly, truly could have shed and wept real tears. That is exactly the F4 I want, like EXACTLY ,and Benj agrees, and we are going to make it HAPPEN.

He also wants to separate Mo/Jones this round... and like honestly, I'm so down. Like I think he wants to vote off Mo versus Jones which I think is a bad idea, since Jones is a better talker and more of a threat, but his argument about Jones being a shield makes some sense.

my ideal bootlist moving forwards for the season, although it requires like julia/tom to stick with me and benj pretty tightly, is:

Mo/Jones > Mitch > Jason > Mo/Jones > Caeleb > F4: Me/Tom/Benj/Julia

and also since i love doing this for no reason, this would be my ranking of those left if i was to go to jury this round:

Mitch > Jason > Jones > Benj > Caeleb > Julia > Mo > Tom

Mitch is SO savvy, and so likable, and I could see as a definite winner, having survived so much. I can't decide if Jones is a threat because she is just so likable, or if she is actually palying super well, but I have both her and Jason very high in my opinion. Benj is so smart, I feel like he probably isn't considered as such by the other threats, but I hear him talk game - he is super woke. Caeleb is actually playing a very smart game too, flipping back and forth. I definitely underestimated him in early merge, his MIND. Julia I think is super game-savvy, just her style gets in her own way sometimes. Mo I feel like definitely did stuff last vote, but I see him as Jones' shadow/goat right now so would need to see much more. Tom I'm stuck because him self-voting twice I think almost definitely excludes him from winning so its hard to tell how I'd feel about him in an FTC. the main thing is that... we shall see.

BUT I AM WINNING IMMUNITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Sending this now bc I forgot. Jason beat me in reward OOPS but I can still possibly win immunity,,,,,? Maybe?

Eek me at jules being voted out, honestly i didnt really know what was going to happen at that tribal for the sole fact that everything started moving whilst i was asleep but im kinda shocked that it ended up being jules.... Like i personally wouldnt have made that move right now maybe in like 2 more rounds. Its quite scary the fact that mitch got so many people to turn on jules when i thought she was quite the loved player. So I've gotta keep an eye out for him he's probably playing the best game atm but i think ill try to take him out sooner rather than later

I think I might have to recalibrate how I’m playing this game. I honestly didn't think I was all that close to Jules so her cursing me kinda surprised me. SO, that means I think a lot of people are gonna be cursing me in the upcoming rounds. Not that I am planning a lot of blindsides, I just feel a lot closer to the people actually left. Julia might be the only one that wouldn't curse me at this point, but also she might because she doesn't like me all that much. And being cursed a bunch might put a really large target on my back too.

y'all i just found another idol im SCREECHING. and its a boujee one too, a sapphire idol. I'm so AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, i know where 2/3 idols are for sure, I'm truly screaming.

This was me an Mitch on call when we realized we had the numbers to vote out Jules

heres the thing, i prefer the selfie scavenger hunt when im on a team because that way im motivated to get stuff done out of fear of letting everyone down. where as by myself, i let myself down all the time. ali is scary good at comps and im lazy.

ALI FOUND THE MERGE IDOL AND ITS A SAPPHIRE IDOL AHHH!!!

IM SO HAPPY FOR HIM/US BUT ALSO LOWKEY PISSED BECAUSE I GET ALL THE BRIDGE STEPS AND THEN HE GETS LUCKY AT THE VERY END LMAO. AGAIN.

BUT OH WELL ATLEAST ITS NOT SOMEONE ELSE!!

And if I had any doubts (I never had) about him betraying me before I have 0 now.. u like have to really trust someone to tell them u have 2 idols LOL I could literally expose so much right now

BUT IM NOT GONNA WOO!!! BEST DUO IVE EVER HAD! Like I know it will be hard to beat him at the end but idc I want that duo story for us

Literally an idol magnet king I knew I chose the best ally on day 1

sapphire idols sound kinda annoying tho cuz u cant choose who its played on . like what if ur plan actually works and u idol the person u wanted gone LOL

lowkey would rather a normal idol ?? anyways ali went off in immunity and its final 9 idk who will go but I kinda want like mo gone (king) but we have no strategic bond so.. plus he will slip by to the end otherwise

I doubt that plan is gonna work tho cuz idk how to lead votes!! im flop sheep!

Update on idol hunt - I'm killing johnny

Update apparently I’m running a vote KSKSKKFMFMFFK take back EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT NOT NEEDING POWER LMAOOOO

ok so Storytime

I’m talking to Tom at like 5:00-6:00 ish, and he says he hasn’t heard anything but he’d be down to vote Julia if other people were voting Julia (at this point this is the only name and it was said by Tom and that’s it)

At this point I tell Mo what Tom said (Bc tom and I were talking about Mo) and he said he wasn’t surprised Julia’s name was brought up

Talk to Mitch at like 7:00 ish and he’s apparenrly being targeted by Ali and for whatever reason I have this hero complex and I wanna save him all of a sudden?? I also feel like he’ll be a big shield down the road that everyone else would want out over me so it makes much more sense to keep him? SO I tell him about Julia.

I Run to Mo, tell him about Julia plan he’s on board. MOs talking to Caeleb, and Jason wouldn’t go behind Mitch’s back. So that’s already 5 people I think voting Julia, 6 if we include Tom and 7 if Benj also knows. Which I’ll probs tell him.

So ya??? Turned an idea into a plan!! I’m doing that y’all. Idk?? I’m proud. I don’t need need this much power after this round or else my ego will be the size of my dick but!!! Idk guys I’m proud of myself.

(Literally only 35 minutes later)

Literally having a stroke tonight laid ease

Uhm apparently Tom/Jason/Ali had an alliance and were trying to get me out and tried throwing me under the bus to Julia and tried saying shit I didn’t say,, so ya,,, :)

Tom tried twisting it like I was the one who threw Julia’s name out bc apparently she’s inactive? Which is cute,, I said jack shit about that. So ya.

Um I’m voting Tom tonight now. I’m an indecisive bitch tho so it might change but. Fuck Tom. We gotta break up this alliance apparently. Julia’s the only person that’s said shit to me this whole day about what’s happening so I’m more likely to believe her than anyone else sooo ya. Fuck Tom. Fuck these men.

[queercapwriting]

hey I don't know if you're taking prompts atm, but if you are could you please write some more nb!alex college au, I love them so much and your writings make me so happy!

(A follow-up to this story: https://queercapwriting.tumblr.com/post/160089660369/pleasee-write-nbalex-in-college-like-could-they )

“Wanna get outta here?” Maggie asks, chuckling at Alex’s banter with their roommate, but also wanting the full attention of this adorable enby.

And it terrifies her.

Her desire.

Her question.

Terrifies her because the only people she’s kissed have been girls in high school who took her underneath the bleachers to make out, only to tell their boyfriends later that she took advantage of them.

Terrifies her because of Eliza Wilke.

Terrifies her because of her father.

But she’s away, now.

Away, for the first time.

And Alex Danvers? This kid hanging out of their window, undercut and tank top and sleeveless vest and and flattened chest and baggy shorts all but screaming their queerness? Their braveness? 

Maybe Alex Danvers won’t punish her for her desires.

But at her question, Alex almost topples out of their dorm room window.

Maggie catches them by their stomach, and they both pause at the contact. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been so – “

“No, no, it’s… it’s just funny, right? Because usually when someone says ‘you wanna get outta here,’ they mean go home or something, but I am home, so you don’t mean go home, right, you mean go away from my home instead of to it, and it’s just…” 

Alex putters like they’ve run out of fuel, and they shrug awkwardly. Adorably. 

Maggie’s never wanted to kiss anyone this badly, and she chastizes herself harshly. She barely knows Alex.

Doesn’t know them at all.

But their rambling is awkward, and it’s earnest, and earnesty isn’t something Maggie comes across a lot.

“Just what, Danvers?” she helps them out, a small smile tugging at her lips.

“It’s just funny,” Alex finishes, starting to blush, and Maggie hears Lucy sighing dramatically at Alex’s lack of chill inside the dorm.

Maggie gulps and she lowers her eyes to Alex’s lips and she looks away as soon as she realizes she’s done it.

“Your room isn’t the only home on this campus,” Maggie says, her voice low, her voice hopeful.

Alex nearly falls again, and Maggie grabs them again.

Alex opens and closes their mouth helplessly.

“But for now, wanna take a walk?” Maggie grins, hopping down from the window and retrieving her backpack and motorcycle helmet from the ground.

Alex takes nearly a full thirty seconds to stammer a yes, and somehow their rambling makes them more attractive to Maggie. More unassuming. More… earnest. More honest. More genuine.

“Uh – yes, just – uh, can you come around the front entrance? I’m sorry, I – “

“Yeah, yeah, it’s cool. Meet you in a minute. Um – nice to meet you, Lucy!” Maggie raises her voice at the end.

“Have them home by midnight, Sawyer! It’s not a huge campus, I can easily find out where you live!”

“Yes ma’am!” Maggie offers a mock salute. Even though she knows Lucy can’t see her from inside, she knows Alex can, and Alex laughs.

She decides she wants to make Alex laugh as much as she can.

“See you on the other side,” she offers up to Alex, and they nod as they scramble backwards off their windowsill, nearly falling in. 

Maggie chuckles to herself once she listens to make sure Alex is okay. She slings her bag over her shoulder and sets off at a jog toward the main entrance of Alex’s dorm.

It takes Alex more than a minute or two to get there.

It occurs to Maggie that they might not come.

That Maggie asking if they wanted to go somewhere – to get outta here – might have been rude to Lucy. Might have been a turn off to Alex.

Because why would someone that attractive want to go anywhere with Maggie anyway? Why would someone that soft want to have anything to do with Maggie, anyway? 

Maybe Alex had only said she could come up and sit on their window to be polite.

They seemed like they were a polite person.

Politeness was good. Nice. 

Good and nice didn’t deserve Maggie Sawyer.

How could she have been so stupid? So overconfident? How could she have been so – 

“Maggie.”

Her stomach backflips at the slightly breathless sound of Alex’s voice, and she turns.

“You’re a lot taller than me,” is the first thing she says, because she couldn’t really tell when they were sitting on the windowsill together. It’s the first thing she says because the shock of Alex actually standing there in front of her, eager and ready to head out… wherever… is so unbelievable.

Alex grins and straightens, puffing out their chest slightly.

“I uh…”

“You don’t have to actually respond to that, it was a stupid comment.”

“No! It wasn’t stupid, I… um… I’m sorry I made you wait. I’m uh…” They glance around and take a deep breath, but Maggie had used their pronouns without hesitation and without any reluctance, and she still wanted to go out with them – go out? were they going out? did this count as going out? – and it feels so good to still, maybe, be wanted, and they want to talk, to share, so badly… “I’m not used to my uh… to my binder yet, it’s uh… I’m still not used to things like uh… hopping out of windows and stuff.”

Maggie grins and nods, giving Alex another once-over with her eyes. “Well, it’s good self-care: you’re not supposed to be all breathless with them on anyway, right?”

“Gonna be hard to be around you while I wear it then,” Alex blurts out softly without thinking, without considering, and Maggie’s breath hitches, and Alex’s face flushes.

“I’m sorry, that was forward, I just meant – “

“No. No, Danvers, I…” She realizes there are tears in her eyes and she’s not quite sure why. She clears her throat and she forces down a gulp. “Where do you wanna go? On campus, off? There’s this pizza joint a few blocks off the SU that I like. Do you like pizza?”

“Isn’t it kinda the law?” Alex chuckles, and starts walking. 

Maggie falls into step, and after a quiet moment, Alex offers their arm out for Maggie to hold onto.

“Oh, a gentlehuman,” Maggie laughs, accepting their arm. She looks up at Alex with soft eyes. “Is there a word you prefer? Something less gendered, more?”

“Context,” Alex shrugs. “Right now?” They glance down at Maggie, at her leather jacket and tight jeans and gorgeous, gorgeous hair. “Gentleman would be just fine. I mean, unless you… you’ve only dated girls before? Not that this is a date, I mean – “

“It’s not?” Something’s dancing in Maggie’s eyes, something a lot like that confidence she’d had in her walk when she’d first gotten off her bike. But this is less affected, less defensive. This? This is happiness. This is hope.

“Is it? I mean, do you want it to be? If – I mean, I know it’s not how dates typically happen – “

“What, you mean sitting with a girl on your windowsill, getting egged on by your roommate, and then taking the girl on a walk to a pizza place off campus? That’s not your typical MO, Danvers?”

Alex laughs, and Maggie grins.

“I don’t have an… I mean, I don’t usually – we just met, I don’t want you to think I’m trying to…” 

“To what?”

Alex shrugs, stiffening as a group of frat boys laughs their way past them. They glance down at Maggie, whose face is suddenly steel, and Alex decides they like her even more than they already did. They put their arm over her shoulder and pull her closer to their body protectively.

The boys pass, and Alex shifts their arm, unsure of what to do.

“Is that okay?”

Maggie nods with a tight throat and a throbbing heart. Alex keeps their arm around her shoulder.

“You said you’re new here. New to cities. I told you I’d look out for you. I don’t want you to… to think I want anything in return.”

“Except maybe a date,” Maggie deadpans, but she’s smiling and her dimples ease Alex’s worry.

They lapse into a surprisingly comfortable silence, taking in the campus, taking in the football game on one side of the quad, the class being held outside on the other.

“Why would you want to?” Maggie asks after a while.

“Want to what?”

“Look out for me.”

Alex shrugs again. “You don’t seem like you need it. Looking out for. But everyone should have someone. It’s lonely otherwise.”

“Yes,” Maggie says after a long moment, and her tone tells Alex she’s not responding to their comment about loneliness.

“Yes what?” they ask, furrowed brow and nervous heart.

“Yes, this is a date, Danvers,” Maggie grins, and Alex can practically hear Lucy whooping from all the way across campus, can practically hear Kara’s excited squeals when they call her later tonight.

And all these things?

Make them feel like they’re flying.