#i am exhaustion
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//HI IM ALIVE. I was actually gonna try to do replies this weekend but uhhh well! My mom had to take my dad to the dr w stomach pain and it turned out to be a gallbladder infection and so within four hours on friday while I was ASLEEP, NAPPING, she left a note and they went and ended up at the ER and he had literal surgery,
anyway hes still in recovery at the hospital and mom is with him, he's having some not great numbers w some of his blood levels and has been feeling rly rucky and had a fever overnight. but for now it doesnt seem to be anything dramatic/urgent beyond 'we are keeping him for observation and medication longer than initially planned'
i am just. tired! and stressed!
u can find me on disk orb tho, as well as my ooc/personal acct, @//captainsquality.
I am also generally still SUPER down to write via discord for rp stuff, and am actually p regularly active in that regard! so pls know if we are buds and we write and have each other on The Orb then a personal server for shenanigans is absolutely negotiable. im still writing i just havent been here on my rp blog much !!
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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MCU movies they should stop making
All of them
Marvel movies they SHOULD be making:
Deadpool vs the HOA
Deadpool gets hired as a high school girls' synchronized swim team coach
Deadpool enters an international Mahjong tournament
Deadpool corners the market on luxury pigeon breeding
#and other late night thoughts from the Apiary discord#listen. I am past the exhaustion threshold#marvel#Deadpool
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I have finally watched naruto at the tender age of 25
#naruto#naruto fanart#naruto uzumaki#sasuke uchiha#thats it am only tagging those two and maybe the ships implied bc on god three more names??? exhausting#hashimada#thats it folks come back later and see if i posted something else#posts that prove i am alive#fanart#doodles
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someone asked if i had ever drawn gojo with his scars, now i have :>
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#satoru gojo#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#this outfit i swear im gna get called out as a fake gojohater#its not my fault its the best one he gets#speaking of which i am enjoying the relative bliss before this fight n this outfit are animated sighs i already know its gna b mayhem#but ths neither here nor there ths none of my business#anyway this gojo took a lot longer than it should have also but i had some mishaps with th pose >:/ iykyk#i also wanted to like. toe th line with his expression between unsettling and relaxed if that makes sense??#mostly i didnt want him to look too genuine#idk how successful i was but i am Happy with it i think#or maybe its just the exhaustion talking#tbh im past exhaustion i think i spent over 14hrs drawing today i have been up since 7am and i am pretty sure my blood is energy drink#rings dinner bell gojolikers come get ur food#anon who asked i hope u enjoy! ty fr the request even if it was gojo /silly
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TAYLOR SWIFT: THE ERAS TOUR (2023)
#taylor swift#tswiftedit#tswiftgif#eras tour#taylor swift the eras tour#I'm eXHAUSTED#I dont think I ever made thIS MANY gifs in one set#I personally am proud of the choice I made on every transition gif in the middle#sorry speak now and acoustic section you're too short so I put you together in the obvious wrong order - for color arrangement purpose#forgive me :'p#userelena#userleah#btw - I made folklore teal...unintentional. who'd thought#flashing gif#flashing images#flashing tw
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slut autism is a curse because i was designed in a lab to reach pure sensory ecstasy during sex but actually having sex in these wacky modern times requires constantly responding to messages on a piece of metal that doesn’t feel real to me and i suck at it so bad so idk. if you want this pussy write me a letter
#blushing#am i the only person fucking exhausted by messaging….#i want to connect with people so bad. i wanna hear their stories. and yeah i wanna fuck nasty#but oh my god. i cannot keep doing this 😀#personal
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I told you I never stop thinking about merpearl
#I want there to be more yuri kiss art. There isnt enough. I guess I have to be the change I want. whaagh#I think Pearl is too awkward and clueless and horrified (because DL) to actually just kiss Gem like this (at least for awhile) but#mermaid pearl is built different. Still clueless though#I am so exhausted and I have much more important things to draw but Im sorry I had yuri in my system and I needed to get it out desperately#gempearl#shiny duo#hermitshipping#tubby art
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Welcome back to another episode of "I spent 10 hours making a fan comic instead of updating my OC refs"
#i am exhausted dear gOD I spent so long on this#anyways percy and ramsey hehehehehe#my favorite two goobers#epithet erased#epithet erased fanart#percy king#percival king#ramsey murdoch#my art
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Ghostfire Shen Yuan loyally following the lonely, undying, forgotten Luo Binghe from the original outline.
They never even met.
Shen Yuan had died long before Luo Binghe’s story was set to start. Abandoned by his System, he was left wandering the realms, searching for anything to latch onto, anything to stave off the darkness encroaching on his consciousness whenever he stopped. He keeps himself entertained with little jokes and references that will never reach anyone. At least back home, there were other people on the opposite side of his screen reacting, seeing. Paying attention.
He never would have thought he’d miss the times he was perceived by others. He’d give anything, though. Anything.
He stumbles upon the protagonist as he’s ascending the stairs of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect for the first time. Dressed in rags and heaving with the effort, Luo Binghe is exactly as Shen Yuan had pictured: a little bun, soft and kind and so very brave.
The excitement wears off soon enough. When the tea ceremony is held, Shen Yuan watches, hopelessly trying to stop the cup from hitting Binghe’s head. He lunges at Shen Jiu; let him be identified and exorcised, at least he would have done something with himself, however useless. It doesn’t work. Of course not—nothing can come between Luo Binghe and his fate.
Shen Yuan thinks about leaving. Many times. But every time he considers the possibility of going back to wandering the world, or just passing on… Well. There’s still a lot to see, isn’t there? It will get better. It will.
Only, it doesn’t. Not really.
There’s no harem; there’s no warm comfort offered to Luo Binghe by a sympathetic beauty, no wedding celebrations, no moments of gentle companionship, however brief, however superficial. There’s no camaraderie with the demons underlings, his generals, his allies; it’s all casual cruelty and dismissals, before it’s violence and subjugation.
There’s no joy. There’s no hope. There’s no ‘better’.
Something is wrong, that’s clear. Something is wrong, and Shen Yuan has no one to blame.
This is clearly not the Proud Immortal Demon Way he knows.
Centuries later, when Luo Binghe begs for the heavens to allow him to die, Shen Yuan hears. When Luo Binghe rages against the passage of time, alone in the wreckage of his palace, left behind by everyone he’d ever known, Shen Yuan accompanies him. When Luo Binghe lies down in the Holy Mausoleum and refuses to get up, Shen Yuan waits until he opens his eyes again and leaves the palace.
They end up in a hidden realm so filled with Yin Energy that Shen Yuan can channel it to manipulate his form into that of his former body. It’s not detectable by the living, but it’s there. He feels stronger, too. He can walk, float, fly, interact with what few other ghosts they encounter.
Still, Luo Binghe cannot see him.
Luo Binghe doesn’t talk much. Well, that makes sense, he was never in the habit of talking to himself, but still. It’s lonely.
They end up in a town where a diviner takes one look at Luo Binghe and offers him a free reading. Shen Yuan can’t enter her tent, so he waits outside.
She tells Luo Binghe of the little hanger-on he’s got. A powerful one, too, though he’s still getting used to his powers. He’s been here for a long time, she says. Since he was a child. He comes from far away—farther than even the most distant star.
Luo Binghe begins talking to him. Shen Yuan isn’t sure why, but he’s not complaining!
Luo Binghe also begins meditating again, trying to soothe the damage done by Xin Mo over the centuries. For every meal, he places a few fruits across from him on a plate he’d made himself, which he eats only after finishing his own dish. He makes space by his side whenever he walks on a narrow road. He stops at every landmark and tells stories about them, always starting the same way.
“Do you remember when…” becomes Shen Yuan’s favourite phrase.
One night, Luo Binghe sighs and looks across the table. Shen Yuan places himself so that he’s in Luo Binghe’s focus.
“What is it, Binghe?”
Luo Binghe doesn’t answer him, of course. Still, it feels like a conversation, when he says:
“I wish I knew your name.”
Shen Yuan frets. He’s been trying to manipulate the physical world, but he never got the hang of it. He’d tried drawing in sand, with water, just pushing things off shelves. And yet, nothing.
“I’m sorry, I wish—” he tries, but Luo Binghe is already talking again.
“I wonder if we ever crossed paths when you were alive.” He’s expressed this thought more than once. Shen Yuan never likes to think about how they’ve missed each other, how they’d been set up for failure from the start. “I wonder if we would have been friends.”
Shen Yuan scoffs. Of course not. Him and the protagonist? No way.
But—those cold star eyes, blindly searching for him, trying to land on him… They make him want to say, I would have liked that.
He reaches a hand out to touch Luo Binghe’s forhead. He’s taken to doing it whenever Luo Binghe broods, or makes a silly joke Shen Yuan wishes he didn’t find funny. It’s soothing.
He wishes Binghe could feel it.
When his finger touches the demon mark, it blazes. Luo Binghe gasps, that heavy gaze settling on Shen Yuan’s face.
Shen Yuan startles, and jumps away.
“No! Wait!”
Shen Yuan hesitates. Luo Binghe is looking around himself, eyes begging for even a wisp of Shen Yuan’s shadow.
He can’t deny Luo Binghe this.
He can’t deny himself this.
He reaches out again. This time, he cups Luo Binghe’s cheeks. When those eyes clear of panic and widen in awe, he whispers, softly, “Shen Yuan. My name is Shen Yuan.”
Luo Binghe looks like he’s been handed a treasure so precious he’s afraid to touch it. He hesitates, raising his hands in careful starts and stops, before taking Shen Yuan’s face in them, gently caressing the soft, cold skin of his face. His eyes dance with the haste he takes in memorising Shen Yuan’s features.
Then, he smiles. Helpless and weak and so, so precious. Shen Yuan has not seen hope so bright in Luo Binghe’s face since that fateful day on Cang Qiong Mountain.
“Hello, Shen Yuan.”
#svsss#svsss fic#luo binghe#bingyuan#shen yuan#bing-xiong#lbx#i DONT know what the fuck this is#im so exhausted. i am not in the right writing mindse#but please. please ponder this with me im begging so much#ignore every spotty grammar instance. im waving the ESL flag like its a shield#luo bing-xiong PLEASE tell me ur secreta#.txt#loyal ghost au
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I‘m a burden for everyone. I’m even a burden to myself.
#tw depressing thoughts#alone with my thoughts#depressing shit#feeling alone#sad thoughts#mentally exhausted#mentally tired#sadnees#overthinking#self h@te#i dont want to be here#self h@rm#i hate everything#overthinker#tw selfhate#i am useless#im not feeling good
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This might seem like an "old man yells at cloud" situation, but it's just wild growing up and being told how dangerous distracted driving is - how, at highway speeds, you can traverse the length of a football field (100 yards, 91 meters) in a matter of seconds - how one split second sending a text while driving could result in a potential fatal crash, and then getting on the road as a driver and being surrounded by billboards. Their entire purpose is to catch one's attention, so they're lining major roads, which tend to be highways. How is it that you're told how important it is to never be distracted while driving, but still being advertised to?
At best, this type of advertising is an eyesore to pedestrians and motorists and a general waste of electricity to light it, and at worst, it is an active danger considering they are there to advertise and therefore, must catch people's attention.
I'm not even against advertising in theory, but this particular mode bothers me so much and I hate how pervasive it is - especially in large cities or highways.
#politics#i don't know much about são paulo banning marketing billboards but on paper i want that here in the USA#as a motorist it at best just makes me more anxious driving in those larger cities because i want to FOCUS ON THE ROAD#and passing 5000 billboards per mile isn't helping actually!#i've gotten good at filtering that out of my FOV but it's still fucking exhausting lol#i especially hate those modern electric billboards. despise them actually#i am aware that advertising is a critical aspect to business management in some cases...#...but it shouldn't risk the safety of the populous for you to advertise to them and i see things like billboards as risking safety...#...i feel similarly about online advertising in that so much of it risks internet user's safety...#...such as flashing ads online which risk triggering epileptic seizures in light/photo-sensitive folks#distracted driving (texting): NO >:( || distracted driving (being advertised to): YAYYYY :D#i've been driving on my own for a few years now and i've been thinking about this for ENTIRELY too long
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caller id 📞 (click for quality!)
support me!☕ shop🥪 redbubble 💫
#viks art#digital art#digital illustration#ghostface#scream#slashers#fanart#artists on tumblr#clip studio paint#my art#art#illustration#Halloween#heheeheheh#dont expect much more for halloween to be fair i am exhausted and working on a lot of commissions sjdjdjdj#ghostface fanart#this drawing went through soooo many phases it's not even funny#dbd fanart
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retail workers should get double pay on black friday, and also they should be allowed to yell at one customer an hour
#i am EXHAUSTED yall#my store started early black friday today#and i am dreading every shift this week#black friday#retail workers#minimum wage
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I moved recently to start a new job and part of my commute now involves one of those high capacity toll booths where a two lane road suddenly flares out into 5-7 lanes of total anarchy with no lines anywhere, and then narrows back down to two lanes again, and we're just supposed to sort ourselves out? Who designed this
anyway I dreamed up this helpful anatomical guide on the drive home
#thought of flipping it upside down for it to read correctly but then it didn't feel like the driver pov#oh also yeah aside from generally pulling back from online spaces for the most part I've started a FAST-PACED full-time job#after on and off contract/part time work since 2020#I am WIPED#all the time#exhausted#I'm told I will adjust and I am trusting these people but holy shit I'm capital B Bushed#you will not see me frequently anymore but do not mourn for me#I am adjusting to my new fish tank...#I will be thriving#by the time I turn 30 next year I will be able to hit my 30s at a run#I'm feeling it mr krabs
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Its my birthday.... so I get to draw demoman as meiko..... !!!!
#tf2#art#fanart#team fortress 2#tf2 demoman#averiart#I am not 16 I am still 12 in my head#I am going insane#I dont know where the meiko and demo thing came from but its so real and makes so much sense.#drrink buddies or soemthigngggg#I AM EXHAUSTED#meiko vocaloid#this was inspired by rainelyn00 s ART BTWWW check them out!!!!
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