#i am done!!! i have given up!!!
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y'all why do i even pay for insurance when they refuse to cover anything lmao
#“we aren't covering your weirdo adhd meds because you need to try a formulary drug first”#wow it's almost like there's a nationwide shortage of EVERY SINGLE ONE of your formulary drugs!!!#literally the drugs they'll cover are generic adderall generic ritalin and vyvanse#oh and desoxyn aka pharmaceutical grade methamphetamine#i have fought with them every month this whole summer and i am DONE!!! i cannot deal with this again!!!#i have been using a manufacturer coupon to get my meds for $75 since each time my claims have been denied soooo whatever#i have had one issue or another with my adhd medication EVERY. SINGLE. MONTH. shortages and doctor switches and insurance shit#i am done!!! i have given up!!!#m.txt
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the mourn watch background gives you such a GIFT in having other characters notice and call out on-screen that rook code switches like a motherfucker. the whiplash of hearing my snarky 'heeey I'm just a little guy! :>' funnyman rook speak the heightened ritualized phrases of the mourn watch with perfect seriousness and gravity completely naturally and/or break into an academic tone that can keep up with emmrich at the drop of a hat never stops giving me such endless delight. truly their real mind is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside some hideous mourn watch casual wear
#that last one was just for comedic purposes rye would NEVER wear the mourn watch casual wear willingly#he hated the new livery so much he hoarded every pair of the older watcher robes he could hunt down so they'd tide him over#in the hopes that the next uniform design would be less awful. he is a fancyboy at heart. he should be wearing so many earrings#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#A Watcher's work is never done#rye's whole deal is half built on the feeling of 'we've had a lot of fun here today folks. but at the end of the day I have given my oath#and I mean to fulfil it. so either help me do that or get out of my fucking way' that sort of naturally rises out of this contrast#and everyone who has for a moment doubted his complete seriousness and sincerity about it so far has ended up much deeper#than six feet under by the end of it all haha#I've found I've actually been able to build a really good sense of character here (with some reloading to see different options#to be sure lol I am a control freak) -- mixing in a stoic response in certain situations for example can inform so much with so little#and the contrast works out to be so much greater.#just this sense of a layer of levity and awkwardness on top of an immense and unflinching seriousness#that sometimes shines through. it's uh. it's been really good for me
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the boy! inspired by @triforce-of-mischief:
very loosely based off of this panel from @/linkeduniverse:
and with text/textless versions:
#i am Done (my wrist has given up on me for tonight)#i feel like i could've done Really Cool shading but alas...#i don't think the expression really transferred the way i wanted it to#he looks more pissed off than i was going for#i have same EXPRESSION syndrome actually i've figured out#might come back and change things but for now i am Okay with it#tryna have a 'don't let perfect be the enemy of good' mindset#but also anxiety?? idk i'm just some guy it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things#anyway uhhhhh#ALSO I DID NOT FLIP THE CANVAS AND I DON'T EVEN CARE LIFE IS TOO SHORT!!
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please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤
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#🌱Thank you<33🌱#I guess my latest vent art post made some of you guys worried. I'm sorry ;;n;; )#but I'm alright. well.. kind of? Like I haven't done anything to myself kind of alright?#maybe I should explain bit about my situation but at the same time I don't feel comfortable to open up too much#but simply said it's about doing art as a job and mental health#Things haven't been going well but I am getting help for my mental health#This is all what I will say for now about my situation#I apologize again that I made you guys worried#but I do warn that I might post more vent art if I get enough energy to draw#this is just one way how I deal with my emotions#but if you don't like vent art I suggest to block the words vent and vent art#I remember tumblr has this option somewhere??#and uhh.. I don't really know how to end this post but thank you everyone who has been sending support<33#I might not know how to reply to them but I have read them all and I'm very thankful for all the support what you guys have given me🌱#Thank you🌱#ask#anon#me talking
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Wait going off the idea that Athena keeps things from her favorite people:
What does diomedes give her?
#epic the musical#The odyssey#Greek myths#Athena#Diomedes#On one hand I would love to see diomedes gifts up on the same shelf of odysseus's carvings#But on the other hand diomedes and Athena have a much more traditional mentor relationship#Verse her absolutely batshit insane relationship she has with odysseus and the love she has for the rest of the family#And diomedes prays /interacts with Athena in a much more traditional way too#So I imagine he gives her proper sacrifices instead of yeeting random wood carvings at her#Maybe this is something that happens later in life for diomedes after he's retired and founded a couple cities#He finally has time to 1. Discover what he actually likes to do and 2. For his relationship with Athena to soften into actual friendship#Diomedes (now forty): carefully placing his first actual gift (instead of sacrifice) on Athens alter#Diomedes: goddess Athena i hope this indulgence is okay. I made this for you as a gift for all the time you have spent helping me#Diomedes: now that my fighting is done i hope you will grace me with you presence from time to time. Thank you goddess for everything.#Athena: who didn't realize she was upset that her and Dios relationship never developed into friendship until this second#Athena: clutching the gift to her chest and using quick thought to scream internally#Athena: voice cracking : It's FINE#(Later Athena dragging odysseus from his bed at 3 am screaming at full volume diomedes finally gave me a gift#He's never given you a gift proof that he likes me better than you get fucked#And then disappears before odysseus can retort because she has to spend hours finding the perfect place for her gift)
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THE USOS REUNITE WWE SMACKDOWN (OCTOBER 25, 2024)
#no useful tags just me bitching lmao#i am SO unmoved#im praying theres more to all this than them just speedrunning this reunion just so certain things can line up in time for ple shows#and so wrestling fans with less than one braincell can get the instant gratification of their favwit tag team together again 🥺#bc oh bite me lolllll#so much of this ~cinema~ is starting to feel rushed and im just hoping theres turns or angles or REASONS for it#but thats asking me to trust wrestling with carrying storylines fully and i do NOT#the things i wanted most from this story were jey getting proper acknowledgement/vindication and apology for his abuse#and explanation for why the family treats solo as they do (and then expect him to be a well adjusted adult lmao)#jey has NO reason to forgive them yet like did they buy him hallmark cards behind the scenes?#and theyve done much worse to him for much longer the new bloodline#you dont get to brag about this being the greatest slowburn long term cinema storytelling and then just....#im HOPING so bad its not just as simple as it looks i am#they keep swearing theres so many more 'innings' to this so idk prove me wrong please literally do#but that still wont make me moved by ✨og bloodline reunion✨#bc what yall mean yall are still the heels in my eyes like why do you have so many family members yall left on the side of the road#while talking about family above all and dont divide family lmao#and i get ~twin bond~ but LORD#actually that twin bond excuse is evil too#solo go bring in jeremiah since hes technically part of wwe canon too and beat their asses together actually lmao#i aint forgot jey saying something like having brothers is great but how being a twin is just different/special#like yeah sure but can you not make your other siblings sound like secondhand brothers or whatever shdhfhjf#ok im done. for now. for this post. maybe.#venting about my interests is fun for me ok#its how i process the information given to me and understand it#and also i like to bitch
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My workspace has been compromised.
#I have completely given up on Colin’s face (for the third time)#and am going to pretend this is done so I stop trying to fix it#sigh#but Penelope is looking great so let’s focus on that lmao#penelope featherington#bridgerton#mine
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How did you manage to handle not one, but FOUR separate accounts in fl? I recently made the account for my HD little guy but having to do the tutorial again just seems miserable
there's... weirdly several answers to that question, actually??
a HUGE part of it is due to the way FL is structured. the 10-minute action timer is a core part of the game on a fundamental level, and the fact that i can very easily run out of stuff to do on one character and thus have an excuse to quickly and easily swap to another is just... convenient? satisfying? i'm not entirely sure how to explain it. the fact that i can make progress even while i am fundamentally simultaneously Not Making Progress is like pure dopamine for my freak insane awful little brain. there's just something really pleasing about spending all of my actions pursuing The Goal Of The Day™ on one account before casually swapping to another and doing the same without feeling like i'm wasting time or acting to the first account's explicit detriment. the downtime helps! the recharge time helps! the structure really really works!!
i'm technically only actively playing three, maybe two accounts minimum. the only reason the fourth (the one that'll be my future BaL playthrough) currently exists at all is so i can get his earlygame completely out of the way now and not have to waste time running through it all later, when what i actually want to do is play the ambition i've made myself wait a full year to play. and also getting free goodies as seasonal stuff happens,, something something surprise tools to help us later. the only two accounts i'd say i'm really "actively playing" at the moment are caeru and lark- and of the two, lark takes the most priority, since his ambition is the one i'm currently pursuing in earnest. for a couple months now- despite being My Main FL Character- the scoundrel has actually been pretty inactive on a gameplay front outside of the occasional progression in TLC and discordance content. purely by virtue of having Very little left to do outside of Very long-term grinds and vanities. they're in their "now what?" "now you can start playing the game" era. they've graduated to previous protagonist background cameo in a sequel anime series. they're like the yin FLPC equivalent of red at the top of mount silver. they're Literally just vibing rn. i only keep posting about them regardless because i'm insane and i will never ever ever ever ever let that bat go. but yeah, big TLDR, outside of doing the bare minimum to keep making waves/notability up every week, i'm not actually spending that much time on accounts i'm not currently actively interested in playing. and that accounts for way more gaming spoons than you might think.
i have a virtually lifelong history of playing MMOs, especially and specifically world of warcraft. i was born in the endless grind for useless video game pixel vanities and/or bragging rights. molded by it. you all have merely adapted to doing the same piece of content a pointlessly excessive amount of times for literally no reason besides whimsy and folly. me? i've done my time. i've served my sentence. i've spent weeks doing the original burning crusade netherwing dailies. i've devoted days to running praetorium over and over and over again, back-to-back, nonstop, long before square enix cut it in half and made it NOT take at minimum an hour and a half per run. i've perfected my silverwastes + auric basin goldfarming strategies. i've (almost) crafted dragonwrath tarecgosa's rest. i've killed the sha of anger so many times its dying scream of agony is embedded into the very fabric of my being. ""only"" doing making your name content four times over? that is nothing to me. it means nothing to me. it is so infinitesimal i can do the persuasive seduction quests in my sleep. it's not a matter of handling misery, or having the capacity, or even sighing as i remember the brass embassy raid segment of the watchful questline seriously i don't know why i keep forgetting that exists or what even is my problem with it i just am so consistently mildly inconvenienced by it and its highly specific resource requirements and it is the worst thing ever. maybe i'm just so used to the scoundrel's near-infinite money and troves of disposable items that i've completely forgotten what being poor is like. despite having done that step 3 fucking times now. ahem. anyway. i have transcended the feeble mortal bindings of my resistant-to-grinding flesh and ascended to a higher plane of enlightenment, they may call me insane but they will be the ones left laughing when they see what that "insanity" has wrought, i've usurped them, i've usurped them all-
hacks and coughs and awkwardly clears my throat. i mean. uh. um. Ahem.
the empress' court artistry + tales of the university nerfs helped too.
#and yes#before you ask#i have forgotten which account has which items/has done which content many a time#i think the most painful incident was forgetting to keep up the scoundrel's making waves while i was still playing nemesis with caeru#given that im trying to build it up to 12 and reset their specialization... that was uniquely painful#then again they have like 40 BDR so it wasnt actually that inconveniencing lmao#fallen london#ask#long post#sorry for the infodump + sudden villain monologue.#all jokes and personal accounts aside i totally get the apprehension abt doing that stuff again#it's not for everyone. not by a long shot.#im only doing this because im genuinely invested and in love with this silly little browser game#and way back when i started i made a (only half metaphorical) solemn oath to experience all of its ''main stories''#and truly see everything it has to offer#(bc i like. physically cant do hyperfixations by halves. i need to consume Everything abt the thing or i'll explode)#(and even then i'll probably explode anyway. it's either completely drop it or go All In until it stops taking up so much space in my brain#(and. given the track record. that is not happening with FL for a while yet)#but like. that isnt actually normal behavior. just. just to clarify.#from what ive seen a VAST majority of people do not go out of their way to play literally every ambition#and that is so valid. it is so overwhelming. you have to juggle so much.#you have to play the earlygame So Many Goddamn Times.#(as i said. served my time. did my sentence. i am my scars. etc etc)#the best advice i can give as someone who's so completely desensitized to that repetition it doesnt even phase me anymore?#the same advice i can stress to all FL players. legitimately just take ur time with it. play when you want to.#dont when you dont.#sometimes you have to grit your teeth and bear things. and when it comes to alts you Will have to grit your teeth and bear it all again#but the beauty of this being a game that one plays for fun is that unlike. say. crushing deadlines or annoying coworkers in real life#you are completely within your power to decide when where and if you want to grit and bear it all#..wow this is ADVANCED yin rambling holy shit. i actually reached the tag limit. i think this ask should be put on some kind of list
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I have seen a wild amount of people complaining about the context of Wind Breaker and how "unrealistic" it is for the characters to go to school but without any teachers or adults being shown or protecting them and... First of all, realism is not what you're going to find reading a Shonen and if you want a full-on high school experience, read another manga. It is very common to skip those details as a writer because they are not interesting in the slightest and they have confirmed multiple times that all of their grades are awful, so you won't get a silly little arc about them studying, because they directly don't. To say it is "unrealistic" is to ask for boring, pointless, plotless occurrences in a Shonen manga about fighting. Are people even hearing themselves when they complain?
But it's not only from a writer's perspective skipping what's unimportant that justifies the lack of teachers and responsible adults, but the plot itself. At first, it is confusing, but I think you only have to look a bit deeper into the cultural context of the story to understand why there aren't teachers/adults shown.
I'm around chapter 100, so I am not sure this gets explained further in the manga, but my theory as to why they behave this way is pretty simple, honestly: They are poor and in ruins, and adults with the power to change things do not care about them. Easy as that.
Whether it is real or just an exaggeration of what's actually going on, it has been shown countless times (especially in Umemiya's backstory, explaining directly how authorities don't care about the kids or anybody, really) that the whole city is made for outcasts and left to rot by the government. It is not some apocalyptic bullshit, it is stuff that happens every goddamn day in real life. They go to school but they aren't shown studying and the place itself is a mess. We only see Umemiya running the school but it is confirmed that there's staff and somebody grading them somehow, despite never being shown studying or doing anything other than patrolling. But they have shown us that the city used to be extremely problematic and chaotic and only recently have things started to change for the better. Most villains and even main characters are orphans and live on their own. There's a whole arc about a group of kids being left to rot in poverty without any means to study or live a normal life. Even our main character lives on his own in a horrendous apartment. Like--
I believe you have to be blind to not see that, if this isn't just literally some people turning their backs against poor kids in a place in ruins, it is at least an exaggeration of these things happening in real life. Because they could have classes and teachers and everything you want in the manga to make it more realistic, but this is, after all, from the perspective of teenagers who can't rely on anybody but themselves. There's only so much a teacher can do, and we know most of them do nothing for these kids. So if it is "unrealistic" perhaps you aren't aware of what damn hyperboles and metaphors are, but this is from the students' points of view, and when you live in a place like this, it doesn't matter how many teachers there are or police, because they won't help. So they are directly erased from the story to be replaced with Sakura's point of view of Umemiya running the whole place.
So I think that instead of looking for realistic interpretations of their high school experience, perhaps you should empathize a little with the actual real high school experiences of people like them.
#'they are fighting and the police doesn't do anythin-' the police never gives a fuck the police has never given a single fuck#i have seen people get killed in my street and robbed and raped every day and the police have never done a thing please grow up#'where are the teachers!' well maybe they do try to teach but when the kids aren't being taught how to live they don't give a single fuck#perhaps that is why they follow only umemiya have you perhaps considered that#you could also say the author skips these things to not make it boring or idkk maybe the city itself funds these kids#but i believe it is just the representation of sakura's pov being left behind by every adult in his life#i am not in these kids' place luckily but i also don't live in the best district and it IS dangerous to walk around on my own#and police or adults have never done a single thing to fix that#so i understand where the story is coming from and why the school in this manga is this way#anywayyyy people are soo boring perhaps the manga only wants to tell you the interesting stuff#if they talked about them trying to graduate THAT would be unrealistic bc they don't care and also you'd be BORED#people learn how to read between the lines i am begging you oh lord#wind breaker#wind breaker (satoru nii)
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crying myself to sleep im so sorry they cut you out atsuko they couldn't handle the cunt you were serving im so sorry but i know i saw you cheer on your son during the dark tourney i saw you hold onto a dying puu i was there i know
#like do i understand atsuko slander ofc yeah she's a shitty neglectful mom#but i love her sooooo much you have to understand#and you miss out on sm if you didn't read the manga cos for some reason she was basically ejected from the anime#considering yyh isn't exactly fuckin feminist im so grateful for the main girls they do have#then again they're all done incredibly dirty all the time#if i start on keiko I'll never stop don't piss me offfffff this media didn't deserve her let alone yusuke of all mfs#shizuru i love you smmmm yyh should've been about you instead#atsuko who doomed her child because how can one learn to love himself when his mother only practiced self loathing#atsuko who im giving the world's sweetest smooch to because you were only 14#you could've given up but you stayed and you did it and you did it BAD. you did it bad and you love that you did#i cant even talk about yukina cos yeah. me when i introduce a character that has complex relationships with other ppl#but i refuse to give her agency and personality and depth#fuck man. botan really did get the lion's share of screen time#do you have any idea how stoked i am that botan exists#main cast NO OFFICIAL LOVE INTEREST just chilling#no stupid ass love triangle she genuinely just doesn't seem interested in men i LOVE HERRRRRRR#botan hit yusuke with your oar again i wasn't recording the first time <3 love her ough#but yeah once i write that spirit detective shizuru au it's over for you bitches#yu yu hakusho#head in my hands atsuko marry meeeeee i promise i wont try to fix you (lie)
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Moving out of concept art and into what’s Actually Done! Showcased here are a couple expressions for both pets so far with their dialogue balloons - mostly pulled from NPC references, but I did get a screenshot of my pet in-game using it in reply, not just in Kinzchat! So cute <3
They’re both introducing themselves here with the names I’ve given them, but I really wanted the process to be as Webkinz-like as possible, with a few extras :)
Which started with being able to pick pet pronouns! Thinking about it now, Webkinz doesn’t ask for player pronouns, does it? :0 But I wanted that to be an option too! It was...something of a process to go from one set of adjustable pronouns to three, especially as I haven’t played with any Ghosts that give you the option to assign both the character(s)’ and player’s pronouns! I had to give it a fair bit of thought of what to check against and how to not have them interfere with or overwrite each other (which did happen early on lol), but I got it! Only took a couple hours of frustrated-sleepily hammering away haha
These screenshots were taken pretty much back-to-back - the only thing changed here is what shell is being used, and shell-checking has come in soooo clutch here ahh, thank goodness ♥ Many and big thank-yous again to @cherryistired for helping me troubleshoot menu shell-switching! Exactly what I needed, am very grateful :D
My original concept sketch of this process was perhaps a little overconfident in what I could accomplish for my first time playing in code lol; I have seen custom pronoun-setting though! And I think I probably could do that, but multiple pronouns... Again, I think I could, but... The name of the game was limiting my scope (lol) to see how many Different things I could implement in short order, so I’ll gladly take my three sets of pronouns and pet names vs. player name and go haha
It’s also a bit funny to look back on this little Diamond - I really haven’t drawn her much! Kind of loosely following Webkinz’ style, her face looks especially silly I think haha
I’ve also got my main menu balloon looking rather fabulous imo ✨ Technically there’s two - More and Back - and most of the features are Very Much in the Coming Soon To A Ghost Near You phase lol, but they’re all {bracketed} up to be filled in as I get their assets made :D There’s still a few placeholder pieces here and there - especially since I haven’t gotten to inter-Ghost communication just yet. Everything in its own time!
I ended up having a lot-a lot of fun with naming and renaming, I went a little silly with Just How Many reactions the pets could have to their names haha
They’ll refuse to be named after any of the Hosts directly, and they’ll give you a side-eye if the name is Close To but not Quite a match haha
The mischievous expression has gotten an awful lot of use already! Although I’ll probably change the “Nu-uh!” expression to something else once I have an alternative that fits better - I need that gradient-to-mad expression set so bad!
And although they won’t accept NPC names, you can name yourself after a Host, and they’ll react! :D There really is so much flexibility for Easter Eggs like this ahh, it’s fun!
All told, I ended up playing the most in Bootend, Menu, Nameteach (hgh), and String, although I’m realizing now that maybe a lot of the stuff I put in String belongs in Word...? It’s all been OnFunctions anyhow, and it’s organized in a way that makes sense to me but is perhaps not as intended lol - nothing says I can’t go back in and move some stuff around, as long as it continues to function properly haha. I’ve kept my error log neat and tidy!! As many times as I’ve broken something, I’ve fixed it thereafter! :D It’s a very satisfying process ♪
#My art#Ghostkinz#Diamond#Rocky#Webkinz#Ukadevlog#Probably the last one for the time being! I've moved on to the next Monthly Project so that's taking up my focus for the time being#Though there is more concept art for some of the unfinished features so I mean... I Could make another lol#And if I may have possibly chosen a monthly task I'm fairly sure I can finish before the end of the month so I can back to a bit of coding#Well I mean that would just be serendipitous I'm just giving myself a little extra wiggle room who knows what will happen#Lol#It really has been hard to Actively set down in favour of other things but I said I'd work on it for a month and that's that!#It was an enriching experiment and I can come back to it once some other things are in order ♪#Much better to leave a project on an ''I can't wait to come back!'' than a ''Oh thank goodness I don't have to anymore'' haha#It really is something I'd like to see through; for my sake so I can actually have the satisfaction of Finishing Something#Constantly frustrated by my ideas not being in the state they deserve to be released it hh#I can see them in my mind's eye! They're beautiful and wonderful! I want everyone to see what I see!#And I know I /can/ do it!!!! I just - like here - tend to underestimate the scope#But now that I've given it my best go in this time frame I have a better understanding of what I'm up against#Of course I couldn't make something simple as my first go 'round lol - even simplifying as much as I can here it's still Very lol#But I genuinely am cutting corners so I don't stagnate in ''No it HAS to be like THIS!'' - since that's where a lot of my projects trip#It doesn't have to be perfect - it has to be Done Enough - and I fully intend to release it once it is#I have a lot of lofty hopes for this project - but if I can capture that electrifying Have To Make feeling into it#To keep pressing on and not give up and keep learning and growing - that's what I very very much want the most <3#Gonna keep at it >:3c Gonna keep learning and implementing! And gonna finish it!!!!!!
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WOAH, HE'S BIGENDER? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!
#hey. hey. im just saying. he LITERALLY 'transed his gender' in a diagetic bit in orange. and if that wasnt enough.#in blue he disguised himself as squid jenny specifically with larry's powers (the only thing hes done with them on screen)#got caught by his god-assigned roles-obsessed caretaker. and was given the label of being something intrinsically unescapably deceitful.#while 'pretending' to be trans girl.#like. if i wasnt pretty sure it was all an accident i might even call the allegory here slightly heavy-handed.#with the nccts emphasizing a theme of 'youre not just what people say you are#you can be more than one thing at the same time' with crim#i think crimson can have boygirl swag. some bigender pizzazz. i think he deserves it.#is it REALLY a cpu kerfuffle arc without a subversive narratively relevant gender-transing.#am i supposed to believe the spirit of deviance himself is cis? get fucking real. grow up. /silly#also a lil crimtoinette in there. just for flavor. because i cant help myself.#also sidenote the nccts have given him this cute lil tendency#to tip his hat down to hide his face when hes trying to be Genuine or Thoughtful or Poignant. and i enjoy that little touch#i maybe like this guy a little too much. hes most of what ive drawn for months.#but what do you want from me. i read him as a queercoded villain deconstructed at the metanarrative level.#am i just supposed to be normal about that.#me and zia talked about this in dms and discovered. we came to a lot of the same conclusions. completely independently. lmao#cpuk crimson
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I've been picking mostly only the essential flirt options with lucanis in the romance so far (I've personally found the dynamic much more natural and mutual when you do that, more like forming a solid friendship slowly and inevitably becoming something else and less like you keep pushing on him and getting little back b/c he seemingly just gets overwhelmed and goes into freeze instead), and I think rye is a pretty hard person to read at the best of times even though he's been Down Real Bad from pretty early on and their chemistry as people is naturally really good. so the way the almost-kiss plays out in this playthrough feels a lot like it has the added layer of lucanis realizing that no but for sure rook is flirting and not just being kind or a good friend* it IS actually happening it's not just wishful/fearful thinking!!! and then uh. maybe going a bit too hard a bit too fast in all the excitement at that revelation haha
*in lucanis' defense he has seemingly literally never had a friend who wasn't his cousin-brother before, under those circumstances I suppose some confusion is extremely natural if not outright expected lmao
#meanwhile rook is kicking himself for being unprofessional b/c he WAS getting something important from spite there#and also lucanis had like. just woken up was that cool of me. should I have told him. should I have slowed that down???#watcher's duty crashing into watcher's longing blues ensues#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I think I might have done something hilarious and a little wonderful to the lucanis romance#by making a rook who's even slower to romance than he is fhskjfhsa#even here I was straight up like 'oh this is a little early for this don't you think' on rye's behalf (it's not we have to be mid-game)#imagine how he'd fare in some of the other romances you'd just bowl him over. davrin might kill him#(and also they would kill each other for unrelated reasons during it but that's another matter (affectionate I love my lads))#lucanis has been squinting at rook in stolen moments ever since the café scene like '...did I imagine that vibe. surely not right.#i'm pretty sure. but am I. I do know he likes me. but DOES he like like me or is that just what I want it to be. this is very embarrassing#for everyone involved' (it is)#davrin has had both their numbers the entire time tho. and been extremely annoyed but professional about it#he knew from the moment these two chucklefucks showed up in his recruitment mission. and has been an adult about it. mostly#even when they've made it real hard ('so I'm gonna go ahead and assume you're not letting the abomination serial killer run around#just because you're transparently excruciatingly sweet on him. right. RIGHT??')#I have accidentally given lucanis a pattern of falling for people who keep covered neck to toe at all times#but like not to be a metaphor for their emotional intimacy issues or anything haha. imagine.#I'm making my own heart so tender by imagining lucanis struggling to get rye out of his (many-layered) robes during the romance scene#and both of them laughing right from the soul in relief and delight at each other b/c like 'how could I kill a god only to be bested#by nevarran fashion. also how in the maker's name do you get dressed so quickly in the mornings this is intense'#'same way one does anything else lots of practice and a can-do attitude'/'well I'll just have to put in the practice then'#and they just hug for a while. *head in my hands* yeah okay I can be normal. I can be normal about this.
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Once, Always
(Edmund has an abundance of birthdays)
.
“I say,” murmured Edmund sleepily as the fire burned low. “When do you suppose it is here? I mean—what time of year? Do you think it’s the beginning of September, the same as it was in England?”
“Summer,” said Lucy. “Certainly summer.”
Peter agreed. “I think it must be Highgrass, if I had to guess. Perhaps later. Greenroof?”
“If it’s Greenroof, then Edmund gets another birthday,” Lucy sighed. “Eleven or twelve, Ed?”
“Neither,” put in Susan. “A thousand, if you’re going to rationalize it that way. Now everyone hush, please, and get some sleep.”
.
Edmund’s birthday was the fifteenth day of Greenroof by the Narnian reckoning. Greenroof, late summer, when all the leaves were dark and broad. Narnian summers were long, but Greenroof was the last and best of the summer months. Greenroof was hunts through the dense foliage, blackberries heavy with juice, lazy afternoons, bonfires, wild romps, and the pleasant kind of sweat. Edmund’s birthday celebrations were always held on Dancing Lawn in the old days: the sort of long, laughter-bright nights that summer was made for.
.
The second time Edmund celebrated his eleventh birthday, it was just past three months since he and his siblings had returned home from the country. Their house was glass-strewn and battered, but still standing when they arrived home. By August it was beginning to feel really safe again, but sometimes Edmund still woke in the night to find his mother standing silent in the doorway, drinking in the sight of her two sons returned to her.
The professor sent one of Ivy’s famous spice cakes for Edmund’s birthday. It arrived tied in red string, which made Lucy reminisce fondly about dear Mr. Tumnus. Edmund’s siblings pooled their allowances to buy him the new Nero Wolfe detective novel, and his mother gave him a new cap and an electric torch.
“How do you feel?” his mother asked over dinner.
“I don’t feel any older, if that’s what you mean,” he said. “Eleven feels just the same as ten did yesterday.”
.
All four of them missed their birthdays the first year in Narnia. Too much else was going on at the time, and none of them was quite sure when their birthdays were supposed to be besides. The measurement of time was a thoroughly tangled issue.
The Narnian year had four hundred days even, divided into fourteen months of inconsistent lengths. Furthermore, the kingdom had only known winter for the last hundred years. The Narnians themselves were still remembering how the calendar worked in a world where the seasons changed. They didn’t have the words yet to explain it to their sovereigns.
.
“Eustace,” said Edmund, “your journal is wrong.”
“Give me that,” Eustace scowled at once. “I know it’s wrong, but there’s no need to rub my face in it. Aren’t I trying to make up for how I was?”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant. The month is wrong. You’ve got September written here, but time works differently in Narnia than it does in the Other Place. Haven’t you noticed that it’s summer, not autumn?”
“Oh.” Eustace shrugged. “I followed Occam’s Razor and assumed that the climate here was different rather than time itself.”
“Occam’s what?” This was Lucy.
“Occam’s Razor: the simplest solution to a problem is the most likely—never mind. Well, go on, what month is it?”
“Highgrass,” said Lucy.
“July,” said Edmund at the same moment. “More or less.”
.
They worked it all out one afternoon as the second spring of their reign was ending. Peter and Susan wrote out the English calendar on one stack of parchment while Edmund and Lucy sat down with the Narnian calendar and penciled in seasonal markers as best they could manage.
“The first crocuses came up right at the end of Cleardome, yes?”
“Yes, I think so. And the snowdrops were in their full glory that month too.”
“How do you want to deal with leap year?”
“Just forget about it. Narnia doesn’t have anything similar, so I think twenty-eight days for February is fine for our purposes.”
“Magnolia in Laceveil, yes?”
“Laceveil is a good marker in general. We ought to set that as May and go from there.”
Birthdays were guesses, no matter how much counting they did. Yet as memories of England receded and Narnia’s world blossomed into everything they knew, those guesses solidified into fact. Edmund turned eleven for the first time on the fifteenth day of Greenroof. He was the first of his siblings to celebrate a proper birthday in Narnia.
.
The fourth time Edmund turned twelve, he received another electric torch to replace the one he’d lost. He laughed for half a minute, holding that gift in his hand.
“Really, you should have expected it,” said Susan primly.
"I did."
Their mother tsked and added something about keeping track of one’s belongings, but that was alright. His siblings understood.
Edmund flicked on the light and watched the beam land on the far wall across the living room. Bright at the edges and dark towards the center where the bulb was. He moved his wrist sideways and watched the spot of light follow.
.
Edmund might have forgotten about his birthday aboard the Dawn Treader if Lucy hadn’t remembered. She conspired with the cook to have a spread of Edmund’s favorite foods at supper (such as could be managed at sea) and coerced Rynelf into playing jigs on his fiddle afterwards. While they were dancing, Caspian called for a cask of his best wine, and soon the ship’s whole company was making merry like only Narnians could.
“Didn’t you have a twelfth birthday the last time you were in Narnia?” Caspian asked curiously as the party was dying down.
“Yes,” Edmund replied, “and the time before that too. Confused yet?”
“Ed has all the luck,” Lucy pouted playfully. “We always seem to return to Narnia in the summer, so he gets all the extra birthdays.”
Caspian's face lit up. “How extraordinary! When’s yours then?”
“Cleardome. There’s a year and a half between Ed and me, and he never lets me forget it.”
“It’s really not as exciting as all that,” Edmund added. “We’re not living our lives backwards, or unstuck in time, or any such nonsense. It’s more like—our lives are folded in on themselves, you see? But never the same way twice.”
“I think it’s more like music than anything else,” Lucy said, a kind of fond wistfulness in her voice.
“Yes,” said Edmund. “I know what you mean.”
.
On the thirteenth of Greenroof, the Telmarines laid down their arms and surrendered to Old Narnia. The next day, messengers were sent forth across the land with news of the surrender and with terms for the Telmarines. Caspian’s coronation followed, and then Edmund woke and it was his birthday again.
Breakfast that morning was long and languid, for Peter and Susan knew that they must say farewell to Narnia, even if the younger ones did not. They lingered round the table with Caspian and Trumpkin and the rest, and presently Peter offered a toast.
“To my brother King Edmund, who is eleven and twelve and sixty-three and thirteen hundred years old today.”
Everyone raised their cups and repeated, “King Edmund.” Caspian nodded and added, “Long live the king,” with an almost ironic tilt to his head.
Naturally, Edmund nodded back. “And to you, King Caspian. Long may you reign.”
Another round of assent followed, and then Lucy cleared her throat. “But also,” she said, “To late summer and the rebirth of Our Narnia. And to the land, the sea, the hills, the trees, the sky, Cair Paravel-by-the-sea and Dancing Lawn and all the flowers that are still in bloom. And to the color green. To all of us here today, and to those who are gone. And to Aslan.”
“Here, here.”
There were tears in Susan’s eyes now. “Happy birthday,” she whispered, and squeezed Edmund’s hand tight. Edmund looked down at his plate, fiercely overcome with love for this place and these people. In a strict, chronological sense, it had been less than a month since his last birthday, but how did the saying go? Time was just a tangled string, or falling snow, or whatever else Aslan told it to be.
.
“Bother,” said Edmund, “I’ve left my new torch in Narnia.”
Everyone chuckled at this, but Susan said, “Wait a year. We’ll get you a new one for your next birthday.”
#Edmund has a late August birthday#which means that Lucy's must be early in the year if 'really there was only a year between them' holds#AND we still choose to go with the birth years from Jack's timeline#and idk i just really love the idea of the Pevensies repeating their birthdays and just kinda reflecting on it#not in an angsty 'adults in kids bodies' way (ugh)#but just in a sort of 'huh. what a neat opportunity to think about#who i am and who i've been and who i'm becoming' kind of way#that pulls out the growing up themes from the series and examines them#idk i hope that's what i've done here#this is a veeeeerrrrry loose re-write of a really old middle school piece about Lucy having multiple eleventh birthdays#it just makes more sense if it's Edmund given the setup with Prince Caspian#anyway#narnia#the traitor who mended#leah stories#pontifications and creations#working on crossposting to ao3 (hopefully w/i the hour)
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An open letter to right-wing Tumblr
Nobody owes you a debate. Their refusal to interact with you isn't an attack on your free speech. Rights exist in the third-person perspective in ways just as solid and just as established as in when they are expressed in the first-.
What makes your right to say whatever you want without government penalty for having done so (except in a few, well-established, well-defined precedents that any reasonable citizen would agree with) any more sacrosanct than my right to exercise free assembly to say "fuck you, fuck this, I got a better life to live than to spend it listening to the same horseshit being argued over and over again?"
The court of public opinion holds a lower standard because it's ultimately the lowest stakes in anything we have the gall to call 'justice' in this nation-- every case is presented to every individual juror who sorted out their findings based on what they had available to them, and judged them one way or the other. Sometimes the cases reach conclusions like (as an example), "the right is more bent out of shape about trans people while also being really fuckin unwilling to do anything about the chimos operating within their own ranks" and found a reasonable consequence for that finding to refuse to consider conservatives in any other relationship besides adversarial.
If you don't like that, either present better info or find better beliefs. Nobody will hate you for changing your mind, everybody does it. It's okay to admit mistakes, and it actually shows a degree of maturity to accept that and take accountability for them.
(and before you try; fuckin don't. Democrats are just as fucking terrible-- y'all don't think Palestine is being raped hard enough while liberals try to tell everybody a little of it is necessary. Harris lost more than Trump won. Their best idea to run against a brain-damaged rapist was to find a brain-damaged rapist of their own and then bury #MeToo because sometimes presidential candidates are allowed little a rape, as a treat. Don't explain to me how democrats are bad, too, motherfucker, I actually chaired for the shiftless pieces of shit. the point is to be better than the other assholes, not to be even bigger assholes. They keep trying to muscle in on your brand and y'all keep sliding right in response. The matter of Epstein's death matter less than the idea that several powerful people availed themselves to his hospitality and nothing will ever be done about that because Republicans and Democrats both were involved. The majority of CSA cases are by people who the victim knew and trusted but y'all wanna tell everybody you think is too ugly to shit in a public restroom that you know better-- considering how much nuance Jim Bob Duggar found about child molestation when the world discovered he raised his own flesh and blood to be a serial toucher, are y'all just oblivious or trying to smokescreen your own predation? Half of y'all get real bent outta shape about age of consent laws for some reason)
The fact that you feel it in cumulative is on your own fuckin heads, assholes. You don't blame the people for the idea of messages spreading farther, wider, and faster than the time it took you to think not at all about it before you pressed 'post' any more the Democrats can try to blame voters for not supporting someone more unpopular in 2020 than a sociopathic racist CIA Blacksite dickhead (the rat-faced fuck) who tried to force the most cringe-worthy fucking meme of the election cycle before Hillary Clinton's fight song horseshit (no, seriously, look up the high hopes dance and tell me that ain't fuckin pathetic).
I would say better politics start with you, but taking the law of averages and the current state of the Overton window in American politics into consideration, some of you won't make your best contribution to American politics until you leave this world.
#politics#american politics#political commentary#unsolicited opinions#fuck trump#fuck harris#fuck democrats#fuck republicans#hot take comin through#matt gaetz as a.g. is like making josh duggar sec of education#i get why social isolation is a thing#MeToo#patriarchy#rape culture#i have given up#all i can do is what i am doing already#if i knew what i was doing it would be done by now#but the thing is#its the exact same shit that you are doing#but i am acting on the information i have before me#media literacy#media criticism#transgender#trans rights#trans rights are human rights#lgbtqia#aces and enbies too#lmao pete buttigieg really told the world and his husband he would take a pill to be straight
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Your art bring so much joy and pterodactyl screeching. Thanks so much for being great. For funsies, what do you think a good day or vacation for Charles be? :)
thank you so much !!!!! i'm happy to be able to share my doodles and rambles with everyone and to get such a warm reception (❁´◡`❁)
but a good day for charles !!!!!! in my Humblest of opinions, a 'good day' is probably any day he can just. be with the x-men as a family. any day they dont have to worry about any kind of threats or have to do any x-men training or any of that: just a day they can really behave like a typical family and relax together
bonus points if erik can be a part of this perfect day/vacation without incident. i mean, his happiest moments were with him, weren't they..
#charles xavier#snap chats#i think a lot about charles and his feelings of loneliness/isolation and want for love/family and it makes me want to throw up#please . .. just one day where he gets to be with his kids and it doesnt turn into a soap opera#have a picnic in the park. take them to the library. play some wii sports and accidentally break the tv i dont KNOW#just a domestic day for charles ... thatd be good ....#god wait that reminds me of a goofy 92 christmas comic i wanted to do. is it too early for christmas art.#no matter im too busy rn anyhow VACATION WISE THO hmm...... thats something to ponder......#god i have to drive. and do work late tonight how am i supposed to do allat when im thinking of charles xavier#oh to be able to talk about charles xavier all night ... alas .... tasks must be done ....#i will be given another chance another day but for now good night team !!!!!!!! thank you for the ask and excuse to talk about charles <3
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