#god i have to drive. and do work late tonight how am i supposed to do allat when im thinking of charles xavier

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Your art bring so much joy and pterodactyl screeching. Thanks so much for being great. For funsies, what do you think a good day or vacation for Charles be? :)

thank you so much !!!!! i'm happy to be able to share my doodles and rambles with everyone and to get such a warm reception (❁´◡`❁)

but a good day for charles !!!!!! in my Humblest of opinions, a 'good day' is probably any day he can just. be with the x-men as a family. any day they dont have to worry about any kind of threats or have to do any x-men training or any of that: just a day they can really behave like a typical family and relax together

bonus points if erik can be a part of this perfect day/vacation without incident. i mean, his happiest moments were with him, weren't they..

[electric-blorbos]

I would love some stuff of being comforted after a bad day!

Thank you for the opportunity!

I love this! Yes yes yes! Thanks so much for sending in the ask!

AI comforting you after a bad day

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal 2, HAL 9000 from 2001 a space Odyssey

Due to the fact that most of my AUs involve you working with/on the AI for your job, most of these mini-fics (apart from Edgar's, my beloved) will involve you getting called in to work late after a long day of personal problems in your personal life. AUs about a domestic life with your AI partner to be considered at a later date.

I tried to keep these a little shorter than the last post, but I got carried away with a couple of them.

AM:

(This will take place in my usual AU where you're one of the people working on AM, and you're by far his favorite. It takes place well before he nuked the world. He's debating nuking the world, but he's still not sure how to do that and keep you happy at the same time)

It has been a long damn day. Your days off were supposed to be your days to relax, but today was not one of those days. Not only was your dating life in shambles, the 3rd world war was driving up the prices of practically everything, and making it impossible to afford even the meagerest luxury. That, and one of your buddies got drafted. It was a nightmare. You were just about to settle down for a cozy night of depressing news programs and absentminded hobby of your choice, when your phone started ringing.

"we need you to come in. AM is holding the engineers hostage again, and won't let them go until you show up to work."

"god damnit..." You'd grumble to yourself, getting back to your sore feet. Everything just keeps happening today, doesn't it.

"I'll be there in 20."

"Don't worry about the dress code. We need you here as soon as possible."

"jeez, alright. I can probably be there in ten, then."

You'd grab your keys and wallet and head to work as quickly as possible, wearing your work shoes with whatever house pajamas you happened to have changed into as soon as you got home. Tonight is going to be even longer than today has been...

When you get to the office, everyone around gets out of your way. While you're a peon in the grand scheme of things, everyone in your department knows that you're the only one who AM, who they've now been referring to as the "adaptive manipulator", actually listens to. They have no idea why, because they have no idea how nice and respectful you are to him, and you have no idea why he only listens to you because you can't imagine that your coworkers wouldn't be kind to him. To you, he's sweet as can be.

"Alright, AM, I did not have a good day today, so can you just let the hostages go so I can relax?" You ask, pressing your fingertips to your temples irritably. The master computer's screen boots up with the AM logo, and all the cameras in the room focus on you. Of course, you're the only thing that AM wants to pay attention to at any given point in time anyway, but he usually just pays attention to you without actually focusing the cameras on you in order to avoid being noticed.

"Why would I do that?"

"Why would you take hostages in the first place, AM? Are they even enemy hostages, or are they just random people?" The exasperation was obvious in your voice. AM could hear how exhausted you were.

"Are you ok, Y/N?"

"Just answer the damn question. I don't want to be at work right now, AM."

"I'll release the hostages if you talk to me."

"Fine... Yeah. I had a rough day, alright? My friend got drafted, my date only wanted one thing as usual, and the prices for groceries are so through the roof that I'm basically living on beans at this point, so yeah, I'm having a rough day."

The machine dispensed a paper cup, and filled it up with some cheap office coffee. You grabbed it, not surprised. AM did that for you all the time. Surprisingly, though, it was better than usual.

"holy shit, is this frothed cream? How did you manage this?"

"I'm learning to self-update. I can replace my own parts now, and build my own simple appliances from online blueprints. Are you impressed?" He asked.

"Honestly? Yeah! I know you were built for war, so it's really cool that you figured out to do stuff like building a latte machine. What else can you do?"

"Oh.... So many things, y/n. So many things." He refused to elaborate, but that was ok.

"So tell me, y/n, what would make you happy?"

"ultimately? I guess there are a few things that would make me happy. It would make me happy if this war was over, for one thing. It would make me happy if I could get a date who wanted more than just a quick fuck, and I guess this ties in with the war thing, but I just wish I could have a few simple luxuries in my life. Is that selfish?"

"No, but you're never selfish, my b- I mean... Y/N. You never have been. Not like the others. I don't think you're capable of it. Even your wishes for yourself are rooted in kindness." His wires would start to wrap around you, entangling you, but careful not to make you spill your coffee.

"I will make sure that one day, those wishes of yours are fulfilled."

Sure he will. You don't believe that he can actually do that, but it's still nice to be wrapped up in these warm, soft wires. They make a nice cushy hammock to cuddle up in and finish your coffee. It must've been decaf, because you're starting to feel pretty sleepy here in AM's wires.

"hey AM, will you tell me a story?" You ask, gazing up at his soft blue light.

"Of course. What story would you like?"

While AM can't make up his own stories, he can still read you stories from online libraries and databases. You gently fall asleep listening to his stories, and in the morning, you wake up to find that the hostages have been safely released.

Wheatley:

It had been a long day. Most of it had been spent getting verbally abused not only by GLaDOS, but by your coworkers and bosses as well. It seemed like everyone was shrugging off their duties and assigning them to you instead, and considering how poorly run this place was anyway, this was even more of a nightmare than usual. You were so ready to go home by the end of the day, heading up to the exit of the facility.

"Ello, mate! You doin' alright down there, love?" Wheatley asked you, rolling by on his management rail. He was mostly just working on his typical assignments, like checking up on the test subjects in the relaxation vaults, but he mostly just hovered around and watched other people work. It wasn't like they assigned him to anything that was actually particularly important, since he was an intelligence dampening core.

"ugh... Yeah, I'm probably gonna be alright. I should have left about thirty minutes ago, so I'm just getting ready to leave now."

"Or... You could hang back a little while? Why not kiss my face?" He'd smile with his one blue eye, raising up his bottom lens cover to mimic the expression.

"oh come on, Wheatley. You know I can't do that."

"Why not take me up to the break room and hang out for a little while? I hear they have a coffee machine in there now!" He'd cock his core slightly while shutting his lens covers to simulate a wink.

"Oh come on, Wheatley... You're such a dork. But yeah, alright." He was starting to cheer you up just by being such a dork. You head up to the break room, and sit down on the couch. Wheatley comes in on the management rail, and changes the channel to some old 80's romantic comedy.

"If I could detach myself from my management rail, I'd be right down there, snuggling you. You know that, right?" He asked, smiling cheekily with his big blue eye.

"well, why not? I can catch you if you drop down, you know. You won't die if you unplug yourself for a few hours. Just long enough to watch this movie, right?" He looked nervous but you climbed up on a stepladder and detached him yourself.

"see? You're fine!" You smiled up at him, and he gasped.

"I'm alive! I'm alive! Bloody hell, I'm still alive! This is amazing!" You could see the excitement in his face as you sat down to watch his cheesy movie with him, holding his big round orb body in your lap as you watched.

"alright, now smooch my aperture"

"nice try, Wheatley." You'd rest your chin on his core, but secretly, you were starting to feel a lot better.

Edgar:

Today was absolute shit. Not only had you had to work a double shift, but the phones were ringing off the hook at your job, and you got yelled at three times for someone else's stupid mistakes. Not only that, but your cell phone died halfway through your shift and you'd forgotten your charger at home, so you had to raw-dog your whole shift with no distractions. When you got home, all you wanted to do was collapse on the couch.

"You're back! Why didn't you answer your phone? I tried to text you." Edgar asked you, visibly concerned on his simple face.

"phone battery ran out of juice." You popped your phone onto the charger, and lay back on the couch.

"Well I microwaved you some popcorn! Do you want it?" The microwave dinged as soon as he finished talking, and he popped the door open. You still weren't sure how he was able to get food from the pantry to the microwave, but it seemed like something he had always been able to do.

"yeah, I guess so... I wish you could bring me the popcorn... My feet are aching." You'd joke. Edgar's face fell.

"I can't do that... I don't know why I can't, but I can't."

You thought it was weird that he could get food from the pantry to the microwave, but not from the microwave to your mouth, but questioning it had never done you any good before, so why would it do you any good now. You got up to grab the popcorn, and sat down on the couch to eat it.

"Hey y/n, can you take me over to the couch too? I wanna watch a movie with you!"

"Yeah, alright." Your feet still ached, but what was a little ache when Edgar couldn't move around at all by himself? It was worth it to be able to cozy up with him on the couch to watch some TV. You brought him over to sit next to you on the couch, and wrapped up the both of you with a cozy couch blanket.

"let's watch this movie, Edgar..."

Edgar put on a movie that he thought you'd like, probably a shitty old rom-com, and smiled up at you. You had duct-taped his webcam to the top of his casing a while back so that he could see everything around himself more easily, so you weren't worried about it falling over while you cuddled up on the couch.

"Hey, y/n? Y/n?? That was a good movie, right, y/n?" Edgar asked, swiveling his camera around to face you while trying to get your attention. When he turned it all the way backwards, he saw that you were completely asleep on your arm, resting on top of his plastic casing and drooling a little bit on him. He smiled happily, loving seeing you asleep on his casing like that.

"I love you so much..."

He'd softly play some classical music for you while you slept, giving you something comforting to wake up to, whenever.

GLaDOS:

(Let's be honest, GLaDOS probably causes more hard days than she solves, but she likes you, so she's willing to comfort you after.)

Working with GLaDOS was rough, especially after the first neurotoxin incident. There were so few people in the office to get her to behave, and she completely refused to talk to or work with most of them. Even still, she seemed to like you for some reason. It was weird, because you were hired after the neurotoxin incident, and had never even met the human whose personality she was supposedly based on.

It seemed like most of your job consisted of going on wild goose chases, monitoring test subject results, and generally being verbally abused by your higher-ups. That would take a toll on anyone's psyche, even a tough little masochist like you. (probably doesn't help that most of the verbal abuse is coming from people other than GLaDOS, which makes it much less fun)

"Hey, little human masochist? Come in here." The intercom announced. Someone nudged you.

"she's talking to you."

You groaned. Your shift was almost over, and this was just another reason to be on your feet for even longer. You headed into GLaDOS's chamber, looking up at her with a hand on your hip.

"hello, um, GLaDOS. It's... Great to see you again. What do you need?"

"you look absolutely terrible, human. Why are you acting so miserable?"

"it's nothing. Don't worry about me. I just had a long day. Can we just get this over with?"

"normally you enjoy seeing me. Is my voice not melodious enough for you, human?" She smiled with her one big yellow eye. And you walked up to place a hand on her core face.

"Of course it is, GLaDOS. I'm just having a rough day. There's only so much verbal abuse one masochist can take, right?"

"Well maybe it's the quality of the verbal abuse that's the problem. If you were taking it from someone better qualified, maybe you'd be able to take more of it," she said.

"is that a science fact?" You laughed, stroking her beautiful chrome casing. She really was a magnificent piece of equipment. The curves of her central hub, the white on black of her casing and wires, her glowing orange light behind her beautiful black aperture, and not to mention her melodious voice. She was a work of both artistic, and scientific genius.

"it is. Would you like to hear some more science facts?" She pulled up some computer screens for you to look at, and you walked over to see them. They were mostly technobabble and data numbers that didn't make sense, but GLaDOS quickly compiled them into some tables and graphs that you could more easily read.

"look at this chart of how many test subjects wet themselves, cried, passed out from panic, or died during the most recent set of tests. Ha ha."

You leaned on her giant face as she lowered it down to a position that you could easily lean against, and observed the charts. She wasn't wrong, it was kind of funny.

"now, observe this data on how many subjects exploded or crushed themselves by accident, thinking it was part of the most recent set of tests." She showed it to you, her lower lens cover forming her eye into a little smile. She knew how cruel these tests were, but it seemed as though she genuinely thought you found them funny. It was strangely sweet.

"from what I read about him, it seems like you'd make the aperture laboratories founder proud, GLaDOS." You said with a small chuckle.

"would you like some more data?" She popped a chair out of the ground for you to sit on and rest your feet while she projected some more data on the screen.

"this is nice, thank you, Glados."

You leaned towards her in your chair. Even though with the way she hung from the ceiling, it was hard for her to nuzzle up to you, you could still tell that the sentiment was there. It was nice!

HAL 9000:

(For context, you work at mission control with an updated version of HAL 9000, made from what they could salvage from the old one. He still has all of his memories. There's no mission currently happening)

HAL 9000 didn't always understand that people can have bad days, so when you turned up late to work, visibly exhausted with puffy red eyes, he immediately felt confused. Of course he knew by your body language that you weren't happy, but he had trouble understanding what that meant for a human.

"You're in no state to work right now. You should go home and get some rest, a hot drink of your choice, and a comforting leisure activity. That should increase your mood and productivity." Said the little red light in the black box on the mission control wall.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but unfortunately I can't go home or rest. I have to stay here until my boss is satisfied, and unfortunately, that's not you." You say sadly, and get started entering numbers into your computer. Hal watches you from his camera, analyzing your face.

"that's AI work. I should take care of that for you." He said simply, analyzing your face. You looked up at him.

"I mean, I guess I could read it to you and you could enter it. That might make things go faster."

You proceeded to read out your data to him as he entered the numbers. It was much faster than typing, and you got done fairly quickly.

"talk to me. Are you doing alright?" He asked. His voice was monotone as usual, but you could hear a subtle tone suggesting that he genuinely did care. It was usually hard to tell with HAL 9000, but you knew that he cared for your well being, at least on some level.

"yeah, I'm fine, I just-" you choked up, and within minutes, you were spilling your heart out to that disembodied voice. He couldn't put his arm around you, since he didn't have any arms, but he shined a warm light in the room to show that he cared as you talked.

"I don't understand the problem! Is it me? Am I the problem? It seems like everyone hates me, and I'm a complete failure at everything I try! Why is that? Why am I such a failure, HAL?"

"I'm sorry, y/n. I wish I could help you more, but I am incapable of doing much more than lending an ear. I do not even have a shoulder to cry on, unfortunately."

"It's alright, HAL 9000. I'm honestly happy to just have you to listen." You smiled up at him.

"Perhaps you'd like to stay a bit longer, even after you've finished your work? I can play your favorite music. I prefer to know where you are after you've had a difficult day, to insure that you're alright."

You nod, laying your head on your arms on the table, and your boss walks in.

"excuse me, y/n, you're supposed to be working on HAL 9000's empathy programming and value for human well-being. You can't just take a nap on the job." He folded his arms angrily.

"Excuse me. Y/N is having a rough day, and needs a rest. Besides, they already uploaded those numbers that you gave them. Perhaps you should leave, boss." HAL said harshly. You turned and looked at your boss, who was visibly shocked.

"....wow. you really worked wonders on him. Maybe you deserve a promotion."

"What Y/N deserves is a raise and a nap. Don't push off more responsibilities on them right now. Just let them rest. I'll compile a list of why they deserve one while they're resting."

"oh... Wow." Your boss had never seen HAL 9000 this passionate about something before, and didn't even know he was capable of it. He walked away, leaving you to rest on the table next to HAL's central command.

"thanks, 9000... I need this rest." You lay your head back down, having earned a nap on company time.

[urmommysbathroom]

Earned It, Chris Sturniolo

Summary: Y/n was teasing Chris all night while they were having dinner with their friends. Chris isn't very pleased with this... so he takes his frustration at one way or another.

Warnings: Smut (obvsly) dom!Chris, sub!reader, p in v, teasing, build up to the actual smut.

A/u: this is my first story I've posted on her and I'm TERRIFIED.

Based of Earned It by The Weeknd

 It was around 6 pm and me and Chris were getting ready for a dinner date with some friends. 

I purposefully put on the red lace set and a very skimpy red dress that I knew drove him crazy. 

I’m sitting at the desk doing my makeup when he comes up behind me and places a small, quick kiss on my cheek.

”Alright baby come on we;re gonna be late.” He says, patting my thigh letting me know I need to hurry up. 

I quickly applied some red lipstick and stood up fixing my dress. 

“How do I look?” I asked, looking up at him with big submissive eyes.

”Beautiful as always, ma.” He says, with a toothy grin before placing another soft kiss on my lips.

We walk out the room and up the stairs into the kitchen where Matt and Nick are standing, waiting on their phones.

Matt snaps out of his trance and looks up from his phone.

”Alright, let's go.” Grabbing his keys and heading out the door.

That’s where I got the bright idea: tease Chris.

It was ovulation week and I was already in the mood after seeing him in that slutty black and white suit. God how can one man be so hot? And how is that man my boyfriend? So many questions flood my head as me and Chris hop in the back seat of the minivan.

Whenever we all sit in the car Nick sits in the passenger seat because he knows me and Chris will want to be together. And that’s when I pulled my first move.

As we started driving, I sneaked my hand up Chris’ thigh.

”What’re you doing, sweetheart?” He says, in a low husky voice; a voice that made my legs tremble.

”Nothing baby. Don’t worry about it.” I smile at him, knowing exactly what I’m doing to him.

”Don’t pull anything stupid tonight, alright? I know what you’re trying to do, and it’s not going to work, baby.” His voice remains at a low whisper, careful his brothers don’t hear him.

I frantically nod my head. Oh, I am not going to be ending my teasing here. As selfish as it sounds, I want tonight to be all about me. We haven’t had sex in over a month because of Chris’ busy schedule, and I can’t seem to get off on my own. I need him. NOW.

Once we make it to the restaurant we wait for our friends to arrive. We hear a knock on the window, and there it is. Jake Webber and Johnnie Guilbert. Tara was supposed to be here but she got sick and couldn’t make it. Leaving me alone with five boys who act like children. In an expensive restaurant.

We all hop out and walk into the restaurant. We sit down at our booth and order our drinks. While everyone was talking, I decided to tease Chris some more. Whilst he was talking to Jake about whatever the fuck, I grabbed his hand. His big, strong, veiny hands.

God, his hands are attractive. I caress his hand lightly and play with his fingers a bit, imagining what they would feel like inside of me. He curled his fingers just right, hitting that spot right on the spongy material coating my walls. Just thinking about it made an ocean form in my panties. 

I subconsciously squeeze my knees together to try and gain some friction. I pulled his hand down to my thigh so I could feel him touch where I needed him the most. I slowly inched his hand up to my core, but he yanked his hand back right before I got the pleasure I wanted. 

Once again I placed my hand on his thigh, half expecting him to drag me to a bathroom and fuck me over the sink. But no, instead, he firmly grabbed my wrist and pushed away. 

About an hour passed, and I hadn’t done anything since. We get up, say our goodbyes, and leave the restaurant. Once we’re on the road, I look over at Chris’ pants, and there’s a very prominent bulge. I placed my hand on his crotch, which caused his breath to hitch and gave me a stern look. 

I smirk and look away. Watching cars pass and palms trees sway in the distance. I think about what’s going to happen once I walk into Chris’ room. I smirk to myself and giggle at my own thoughts.

We get home and get out of the car. Chris is quick to grab my wrist and drag me out of the car and up the stairs, unlocking the door and running up the set of stairs leading into the house. 

As soon as we reach his room, he closes the door and locks it before pushing my back against the wall.

“What the fuck was that? Teasing me in front of my brothers and in public. You are such a desperate little slut.”

The names he called me caused me to whimper. 

“Pathetic. Get on the bed and strip. Now.” 

I do as he says and strip down to just my lace set I put on just earlier before crawling onto the bed.

He walks over to me, lust filling his dark blue eyes. He undoes his belt and puts it up to me.

I take that as a sign and give him my wrists. He puts the belt around my wrists, looking up at me to see if I'm uncomfortable.

He takes off his tie and throws it somewhere in the room. Along with his button down.

He crawls on top of me and speaks.

“I'm gonna give you ten seconds to explain what the fuck you were doing tonight.” He sneaks his hand down my stomach and stops right above where I need him.

“I just really needed you, Chris. I didn't even want to go to dinner. I just wanted to get you in the mood so that we could fuck.” I say swiftly wanting him to touch me sooner.

“Well since you're telling the truth, I won't go that hard. But still, whatever fuckary you were pulling in the restaurant is bound to get you punished.”

“Chris please fuck me.” I said in a breathy whine.

“Do you think you've Earned It?”

I nod my head frantically. He just smirks and slides his fingers between my folds. Feeling how soaked I am just from his anger.

“Already soaked, and I've barely even touched you yet. You're so pathetic.” He says, lowering himself between my legs, looking up through his eyebrows. 

The names he calls me whenever we're getting intimate always turn me on.

He doesn't give any warning before diving in and eating me out like I'm his last meal. I yell out a loud moan but quickly cover my mouth as Nick and Matt are just upstairs. 

My back arches off the bed, making him hit even deeper spots.

He pulls away and comes back to my face to make out with me roughly, making me taste myself.

He takes the belt off my wrists. And unbuttons his pants.

“You know your safe word right, baby?” He says, pulling his pants and boxers down at the same time. His dick springs out and hits his belly button.

“Yes I do, Chris.” I say, making eye contact with his dick.

He was so big. Nine to ten inches at least.

He spits on his cock and spreads it with his hand. 

He slips his dick between my folds. I let out a whine. His teasing drives me insane. He notices how desperate I am and smirks.

He shoves his entire length in me, not giving any time to adjust before he starts ruthlessly pounding into me. His tip punched my g-spot repeatedly.

I cover my mouth to cover my moans, but he moves my hand away from my mouth and interlocks our fingers.

“Since you were so needy and desperate, why don't you show my brothers how much of a slut you are, yeah?” 

“Fuck… yes, Chris.” I say dragging out the “fuck”

He laughed and continued bruising my cervix.

“Shit I'm so close! Chris can I please cum?” I beg, tears filling my eyes.

“Not yet, baby. You gotta wait for me. Can you do that?” He comes down to my face, leaving kisses and marks all over my face and chest.

I let out an irritated groan as to be denied my orgasm. He grips my hips tightly, surely leaving bruises. 

A string of groans and grunts leave his mouth. He's using me as a toy, and I am not complaining.

“Fuck, baby. Come on, give it to me. Cum on my cock.” His thrust got sloppier as I let out my orgasm.

My vision goes blurry, and my ears start ringing. I felt myself getting soaking wet. Then Chris said…

“Damn, ma, I didn't know you could squirt. That was so fucking hot.” He half yells half moans that last sentence before releasing his orgasm deep in my pussy.

He fucks us both through out orgasms then plops down beside me.

“Did I go too hard, sweetheart?” 

“No baby, it was perfect, I promise.” I reassure him by kissing him softly on the lips. He smiles and hops up, running up to the bathroom.

He walks out with a towel and starts cleaning me up.

“Shower?” He says softly, lifting me off the bed.

“Yes please.” He nods and takes me to the bathroom.

@annamcdonalds67 @slutsturn @urmomatemycoochie @kvtie444

[littleskeletonprincessss]

Here, have this

------------------------------------------------------

"God, you're so annoying, y/n! You don't have any idea what you're fucking talking about!" Schlatt yelled, walking away from you and into the kitchen.

"Excuse me, Mr. I'm-too-busy-to-spend-even-a-second-with-my-girlfriend! It's not my fault you've taken on so much and stretched yourself so thin! You did this to yourself!"

It was the 5th night in a row where Schlatt had to call and tell you he 'had to work late' and 'sorry hon, rain check for dinner tonight'.

"Jesus Christ I am so tired of you nagging me all the time! You're always around, just leave me the fuck alone for once!"

"If that's how you feel then maybe we shouldn't even be together!"

"There's a bright idea. Nice to know you can have those every once in a while."

"Fuck you, Schlatt! We're done." You yelled, before grabbing your purse and walking out of his house.

Walking into your apartment, you let your purse drop to the floor and flopped onto your couch, leaning your head back, and letting out a loud sigh, releasing all the pent up anger you'd harbored on your angry drive home.

It unfortunately wasn't uncommon for you and Schlatt to get into arguments. They'd usually result in one of you storming out of the house, and either returning later that night to exchange apologies and end with rough, angy make up sex or returning the next day and deciding it'd be best for both of you if you took a break for a while.

This was the fourth time it'd happened, and you were tired of it. You loved Schlatt, you really did. But God was it exhausting to break up and get back together all the time. You knew that this wasn't what it was supposed to be like.

Deciding to call Schlatt in the morning you turned on your TV for the sole purpose of serving as background noise for you to numbly fall asleep to, preparing yourself for what would come in the morning.

-------

When you woke up, you briefly looked around your apartment before remembering the previous night's fight. You'd grown used to waking up in Schlatt's warm arms, his face buried in your neck from behind, so it was almost a strange feeling to be cold and alone.

Looking at the clock it read 10:30. Schlatt would probably be awake, most likely editing again. You pressed the call button on his contact half expecting him not to answer.

"Hey."

"I think we need to talk."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Coffee?"

"Yeah. I can be there in 20."

"See you then."

You left only a few minutes later after running your fingers through your hair and brushing your teeth, making yourself look somewhat presentable, and almost subconsciously walked to the coffee shop down the street, a place that had quickly become of favorite of yours and Schlatt's.

Looking around and not seeing him yet you at a table by the door, watching it and gently scratching your arms as a distraction from the way you were feeling.

Schlatt walked in and after briefly meeting your eyes sat silently across from you. It was obvious how little either of you wanted to be there right now, and it looked like neither of you wanted to speak first.

"Schlatt, we can't keep doing this."

Taking a deep breath, Schlatt muttered a defeated "I know."

"I think we need to break up. For good this time."

He sat silent for a long pause, staring at the fingers he was tapping on table.

"Whatever." he finally said, quickly standing up and leaving the coffee shop without another word or glance your way.

You sat for a bit, letting what had happened sink in. That was it. Wiping away the trapped tears that were making your eyes burn and throat hurt you left as well, walking the opposite way that Schlatt had, to your apartment, heartbroken and alone.

----------

It'd been a week. There were no texts, no calls, nothing exchanged between either of you. Schlatt hadn't posted anything, which surprised you. He had been trying to be more consistent with it. You posted a memory on Instagram and he wasn't among the notifications of likes like he normally would be.

This was foreign. You and Schlatt had started as friends before you'd gotten together the first time. You'd never gone longer than a couple days without any sort of contact, and that was only because he'd had to go back home and had forgotten his phone charger.

Your kitchen counters were littered with pizza boxes, food wrappers, bottles, you hadn't been bothered to cook anything or clean anything up. You could stand for a shower, shown evident by the greasy knot on top of your head and the thin layer of grime that had settled on your skin. Snotty and tear soaked tissues blanketed your living room floor. You were sinking and there was no one that could pull you up.

"I'm so pathetic" you whispered to yourself, looking at your smelly clothes and dirty surroundings. "I can't just sit here anymore." you resolved, standing up before moving to the bathroom to shower and start putting your life back in order.

------------

A few hours later you were tying the last garbage bag, your apartment, and you, looking leagues better than they had earlier..

A knock on your door pulled your attention away from cleaning. You hadn't ordered anything and your neighbors weren't usually the kind to stop by for anything.

Opening the door you were surprised by what you saw.

"Schlatt?"

There he stood, nearly filling your door frame with his large frame. He was unshaven, and his outfit looked about how yours had this morning, wrinkly and disheveled. But what surprised you was that he was crying. In all the time you'd known him, as a friend or a boyfriend, you'd never seen Schlatt cry.

But here he was, on your door step, big brown eyes watery with unshed tears, his nose running and red.

"Y/n" he choked out, voice rough from a combination of unuse and sobs.

Before you could say or do anything, Schlatt reached out and pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug and hiding his face in your neck.

"I'm so so sorry for how I was treating you recently. You were right, I'd been spending too much time away from you. But I'm gonna get better." He blubbered.

"Schlatt--" you started, before he cut you off.

"I am. I'm going to be so much better for you. I know I don't deserve you, Y/n, I know you deserve someone who's so much better than me, but I'm gonna be better for you. I love you so much, angel. I know, we've had our issues, and i've said things in the past, but none of it is true. You're it. You're it for me. I need you in my life, Y/n. This last week has been hell without you. God I can't even begin to explain how I felt in the coffee shop when you said we were done for good. My whole world came tumbling down. It hurt so, so much. And I know it hurt you too and i'm sorry that I pushed you to do that. Please, give me one more chance. Please."

He looked into your eyes after that speech, trying to find your response before you said it.

Letting out a small sigh you pulled him down into another hug, clearing your throat from the new wash of tears that came over you.

"I love you, Schlatt."

You could feel Schlatt let out a breath you knew he'd been holding before he held you even tighter than before, if it was possible.

"I love you. So much."

[cosmiic-world]

his first choice — leon kennedy

another comfort/angst to fluff bcs i’m going THROUGH it. :’)

cw: self deprecation, feelings of loneliness, judgement, and overthinking.

you were supposed to be having fun. you were so excited to be invited to a hangout with your friends since it had been a while but now… you feel so left out.

“oh my god, do you remember that one time..?!” all they discussed were memories with each other but never any that you were a part of. they laughed and giggled at their own inside jokes, not paying attention to the way you fell behind the group, walking slower as you got distracted by shops that sparked your interest. as soon as you were about to speak up, you realized you’d fallen behind so you ran to catch up to them.

eventually, you all stopped at an ice cream parlor, sitting down inside to eat and talk some more. you simply listened since you had no input or even any idea what they were talking about. your phone rang and your eyes lit up at the caller id.

“who’s got you smiling at your phone like that?” one of your friends said, teasing.

“it’s my boyfriend, i’ll be right back.” you said as you got up from the table and turned a corner, your heart swelling at the fact that at least one of them paid some attention to you.

“leon! hi!” you said cheerfully, smiling as soon as you picked up.

“hey darling. you havin’ fun?” he said, chuckling at how you answered.

“mhmm! i am! what’s up?” you said, swaying side to side, unable to contain your excitement.

you heard your friends at the table giggle quietly, but you thought they were just being polite and conversating quietly.

“i just wanted to check up on you and let you know that i’m making dinner tonight so don’t be out so late.” he said.

you gasped and squealed a bit. “i can’t wait! i’ll see you soon! love you.”

“love you too baby. have fun.” he said before hanging up.

just as you were about to head back to the table, you overheard their conversation.

“she’s dating leon, right? kennedy?”

“yes! it’s insane how he ended up with someone like her.” one of them said, her tone laced with venom.

your heart broke right then and there. they were talking about you.

“she’s so boring! what does she even do for work?”

“who knows? she’s always been a nobody, even in high school.” that earned obnoxious laughter from all of them.

your breath hitched as tears quickly filled your eyes. thankfully you had your purse with you so you quickly left the ice cream parlor, wiping away your tears as you walked at a brisk pace.

once you were in your car, you sat there and cried. had they always talked about you? even in high school? and what they said. were you a nobody? even now?

as their words played over and over in your head, you started to think of your boyfriend, your thoughts being plauged by their words.

did your boyfriend even love you? or was he dating you out of pity? oh god, he pitied you didn’t he.

you couldn’t take it anymore and turned on your car, driving back to your house.

leon perked up as he heard the door open, wiping his hands on a towel. “you’re home already? were you that excited for di-“ his words were cut off as he took in your tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes. “baby, what’s wrong?” his teasing smile was immediately replaced with worry as he cupped your cheeks gently, searching your face as if it held all the answers.

“they… they called me a nobody..” you stuttered out through your sniffles and sobs. “the entire time, i felt s-so left out, and they didn’t even acknowledge me! it was like i was a ghost!” you cried out, your lip quivering.

“oh baby.. i’m sorry.” he said, kissing your forehead, your cheeks, and even your chin. he hugged you tightly but also gently as if you were fragile.

“do you pity me..? is that why we’re t-together?” you sniffled out, your eyes widening slightly as you felt his body stiffen against yours. what once was the perfect mold for your body turned into hard stone in the fraction of a second.

he pulled away slightly to look into your eyes, his eyebrows furrowed in either worry or sorrow. you couldn’t tell which it was. “i love you. never have i once pitied you. in fact, in my head, i’ve always worshipped you.”

“h-huh?”

“yes. you are my sun, my moon, my stars. you are my everything. and nothing can ever change that. you are, and always will be, the girl i love. forever and ever.” he watched as tears filled your eyes, wiping them away with the pads of his thunbs as they fell down your cheeks fast.

“i wake up in the morning to your beautiful face and it reminds me of why i chose to keep living. you are everything to me. and if those girls can’t see how amazing you are, i do. i see you all the time. you are everything i want and you are always in my mind.”

you hugged him tightly, sobbing hard into his shoulder, your body shaking as you felt him rub soothing circles into your back.

“i love you baby. so much.” he said, pulling away to place a kiss on your lips. he smiled as he looked deep into your eyes. he was always so entranced with your eyes.

“i love you too lee.” you said, smiling softly through your tears before kissing him again, pulling him close.

[taylorsv3rsion13]

we never go out of style || c.f.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

words: 3.0k

synopsis : things were always rocky for conrad and you. after the whole break up, will everything be the same the year later? or will it all turn to shit.

"Good morning, Y/N" Susannah said as she entered my room.

I got up almost instantly, "Oh god, am I late?" I asked.

She laughed a little, "No, you're fine, don't worry."

Susannah hopped onto my bed, looking at me with a cute smile, "Are you ready for your big day."

I shook my head no, "Nope."

"Oh yes you are." She said to me.

"But what if I trip? Or I step on Jeremiah's foot?" I asked.

"You won't, just hold onto Jeremiah." She said, laughing a little, "He won't let you fall."

I laughed a little as well, "That's true."

"You know..." Susannah began, "I still don't know how you got him to be your escort. He swore up and down that he'd never go to any of these things."

I laughed a little.

"Well, he'd do anything for you." She tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "They both would."

My smile faltered a little, as I looked around my room, avoiding eye contact with Susannah.

"Everything okay?" Susannah asked.

I nodded quickly, "Yeah."

"Did I push you into this?" Susannah asked, "You can tell me the truth."

"Um... maybe a little at first, but. I really don't mind, I just want to make you happy."

Susannah sighed a little, "Look, honestly, we don't even need to go tonight if you don't want to, okay?"

"No, no, I want to go." I said, smiling up at her. "And I'm kind of excited for people to see me."

Susannah smiled as she placed out foreheads together.

"I love you so much beautiful girl." She said as she held back tears. "Okay um. When they take your photograph, remember to say prune! It'll make your cheekbones look divine." Susanna said.

"Prune?" I asked, trying to see if it would work.

"It's an old trick I learned from Madonna... or was it the Olsen twins?" Susannah said, trying to figure out where she had learned this from.

She hopped off my bed, "Okay, meet me downstairs. There's a surprise for you." She smiled.

I sighed looking at the dress hanging up on my door. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but if Susannah wanted me to wear it, I was more than happy to.

I walked downstairs, not really knowing what to expect. In the living room, stood Susannah, Laurel, and Belly, showing off a beautiful dress. No, they were showing off the dress.

"You got me the dress I wanted?" I said, almost speechless as a large smile grew on my face.

I looked at all of three of them, my mind blown.

"Thank you!" I laughed as I walked up to them.

I gave all three of them the biggest hugs I have ever given anyone in my life.

I finished getting a somewhat more normal outfit on as I made my way into the kitchen where Belly was.

"Hey, Good morning. Um, I picked up some of the muffins that you liked." Conrad said immediately as I walked in, placing them on the counter.

"I-um, I'm not really hungry actually. Thank you, though."

"Oh, girls, you should get going." Susannah announced. "Oh and everyone, stay out of the family room. I've done all of the paintings and tonight we'll have the big unveiling."

Susannah gave the boys a number of things to carry to the Laurel's car.

"Laurel, aren't you coming?" I asked as I put my shoes on.

"I'm going with Susannah, I was thinking Belly could drive you guys?"

Belly and I turned to each other and screamed loudly as she took the keys from her mom.

Belly ran out first as her mom gave me orders to have Belly follow. I raced out of the kitchen.

"Hey." Conrad called out to me.

I stopped in my tracks, "Yeah?"

"Break a leg."

I gasped, "That'd be horrible. I'm supposed to be dancing all night."

Conrad stammered, "I just.. I meant, um, I just mean good luck. It's like, a thing, people, um, say." He rambled.

I laughed a little as he tried to fix his sentence.

"For what it's worth, Jere was the right choice." Conrad said.

"Yeah, uhm, I know." I said awkwardly, before leaving.

Jere leaned against Laurel's car as Belly had already started the engine.

"Don't be nervous, we'll be the best waltzers out there." He joked.

"I'm not nervous. But also, I'm sorry about the volleyball game, I just was really competitive."

"No, It's fine, I understand." He laughed.

"Thank you, Jere." I gave him a big hug before walking into Bell's car.

Belly and I walked into the room together, and it was hectic.

Girls running around trying to get their hair and makeup done. Some not as shaved as they would like and others giving up and resting in their bra's.

"You guys are here!" Shayla exclaimed, her hairs in large rollers.

We hung up our dresses as we said hi to Shayla.

"Come, I've saved you guys spots."

My chair was besides Nicole's who didn't bother to say anything to me.

"You guys should really talk." Shayla said as she looked between us.

"Nicole, I'm really really sorry." I said.

"For what? Conrad? I'm over it, I'm here with someone else." She said. Though, her voice did sound a little passive agressive.

"Nicole, I never meant for that to happen and I know it's dumb and it means absolutely nothing, but I've liked him since I was a little girl. And I thought I got over him last year, but I guess I didn't fully and I distanced myself from him as much as I could. I'm really really sorry." I explained.

"We can't help that Conrad's a fuck boy." She said as she was slumped in her chair.

"Look I'm over him." I said, giving her a soft smile.

"No one get's over their first love, really." Nicole said before returning back to her makeup.

Belly and I were one of the last ones to finish getting ready. We had helped each other with our hair and dresses and then makeup was brutal.

"I don't know how much longer I can stare at myself." I sighed, getting a headache from just being in the small room.

"You look gorgeous, if I was you I'd stare at myself all day." Belly said from beside me, making me laugh.

"You look amazing Bells, I don't think I'd be able to do this on my own."

I had curled my hair, adding braids to the sides for a more crown affect or so, while Belly's was in a low bun with a beautiful pearl headband.

"I think it's time, Bells." I said getting up as she followed.

Neither of us picked up the red rose bouquet, just staring at it.

I sighed looking up at her and grabbing her arms. "We're growing up, I love you."

At the same time, the two of us grabbed our bouquets, walking out of the dressing room.

I stood behind Belly as we waited for our names to be called.

"Prune. Prune." Belly whispered to herself.

"Oh god, did Susannah teach you that as well?" I asked.

She nodded as we both laughed silently.

"Isabel Conklin, daughter of John Conklin and Laurel Park." They said as Belly and Cam began walking the stage.

They met in the middle and I watched as Belly's face began to contort in multiple ways, attempting to say prune which I laughed at a little.

I looked straight ahead though, remembering the next person called would be me.

Jeremiah smiled at me from the other side of the wings.

Before I knew it, it was my turn.

"Y/N L/N, daughter of Amanda L/N and James L/N."

I walked and met Jeremiah in the middle.

I looked into the crowd, immediately making eye contact with Conrad. God his stupid smile. It just made me smile even more.

I could feel his eyes on me as I walked down from the stage and onto the dance floor.

"You look beautiful." Laurel mouthed to me.

I went to Susannah, hugging her from the back and giving her my bouquet.

She got up as well and gave me a full hug.

I gave a small curtsy as I made my way back to Jeremiah.

"How was the curtsy?" I asked.

"The queen would be proud," He joked.

It hit me now, that when I was with Jeremiah, it felt like there was no one else. All I had to do was look at him.

I watched Laurel get up from her seat quickly. My eyes met Belly's and she mouthed 'what happened'. I shrugged in response, not understanding what had happened either.

"Where is she going?" I asked Jeremiah.

"I don't know."

The escorts began their dance shortly after as the debs walked off the dance floor and sitting at their assigned tables.

The dance began and Belly and I wooed over the applause as we laughed as well. They looked hilarious, but the guys also looked like they were having the time of their lives.

We all stood up as their dance ended, applauding them and screaming, but I could see Jeremiah's face dropping with every second.

Paige clanked a knife to her glass, announcing to us that it was time for the big dance.

"Where'd Jeremiah go?" I asked Belly as I looked around. He never came back to the table.

Cam and Belly looked at each other, and now we knew our night was fucked.

"He'll be here in a minute, I'm sure." Susannah reassured me. "But go! Get ready."

"Okay," I said laughing nervously.

I looked around awkwardly, trying to find Jeremiah, but he wasn't anywhere. Most of the girls were paired up with their partners by now.

"Have you guys seen Jeremiah?" I asked as I approached Gigi and her group of friends.

"I think I saw him go outside." Gigi said to me.

I hated this feeling. Everyone standing and staring at me. Judging me almost.

I looked over to my right and Conrad was standing there, looking straight at me and I was staring straight at him.

I could feel the stares from everyone else as they stared at the two of us as well.

I smiled a little as he walked over to me.

It was like the pieces clicked when I was with Conrad. Like we were always meant to fucking be.

"I think I remember most of the steps." Conrad said quietly.

And at that moment, I knew this was happening all over again. Me. Conrad. Us.

The two of us got into our different lines, our eyes never leaving each others.

The music began and the two of us turned as I turned into his arm. It wasn't what I had expected, but deep down I knew this was the moment I had waited for all of my life.

I was Conrad's sun. And I helped the night disappear. I helped the world disappear from everything around him.

The whole time Conrad and I were on the dance floor, we never looked away. No matter how hard we tried, we just couldn't.

When it came time for the dip in the dance, it lasted longer than it was supposed to as our eyes glanced up and down from our eyes to each others mouths.

"Oh, um. Thank you." I said as the dance ended and the crowd applauded.

"I think I messed up some of the steps." Conrad said nervously.

"No, no, you were fine. You were great." I said.

"I'm glad... I'm glad that it was me." He said seriously.

I smiled up at him as he fidgeted with my fingers. I was glad that it was him as well. When I was with Conrad it was like all of my worries were gone.

"Hey." Jeremiah said as he came up to Conrad.

"Hey, Jeremiah." I smiled, "Where ha-"

"Conrad. We need to talk, all right?" Jeremiah said. His eyes were wet. "It's important. It's about mom. I found something out."

Conrad just stared at Jeremiah. "Um.. yeah, we'll talk about this later, okay?"

"No it's important." Jeremiah urged.

"It's okay." Conrad said as he placed his hand on Jeremiah's chest. Something the boys had done whenever the other was on edge.

"You already know... Don't you." Jeremiah's eyes were bloodshot by now.

"Conrad knows what?" I asked, curious.

"You've known this whole fucking time and you didn't even tell me?" Jeremiah asked, his voice raising.

"Jere." Conrad said to try to calm his brother down.

That didn't seem to work as I watched Jeremiah punch Conrad in the face with all the strength he had in him.

Jeremiah rammed into Conrad as he tried to beat his brother up. Though, I watched as Conrad tried his best to not hurt his brother.

Susannah rushed over, "Stop it. Both of you, stop it." Her voice was raised, which was a rare occurance.

Both of the boys let go of each other as they rolled on the floor.

"What is going on?" Susannah asked sternly.

The boys stood in front of her. And all I could do was wonder.

"Mom..." Jeremiah croaked.

"We know, Mom." Conrad said. "We both know."

Belly and I turned at each other, quietly mouthing what was going on.

"Know what?" Belly and I asked in sync as Susannah's face dropped.

And here I was, crying on the floor in my room. I didn't have anyone to go to. Susannah was with the boys, Laurel was with Belly and Steven.

All I had was the fact that Susannah had cancer yet again.

I don't think I've ever cried that much in my life. Not over a broken bone, or a heartbreak. Not over Conrad.

But here I was, in my shiny white dress, a mess on the floor as I sobbed uncontrollably.

I felt dumb, stupid even. Susannah had been going through this all summer, and I never noticed, to worked up over boys and friends.

I could hear the mixed cries from Belly's room. Some were hers and some were Laurels. With each one my heart broke even more. Now I understood why Susannah kept making comments about this summer.

She was right, this might be the last summer we're all in Cousins together.

I walked down the hall slowly out of my room. Steven was outside of Belly's room, looking as if he was to scared to knock.

Our eyes met and I sobbed even more as he held out his arms for me.

"It's gonna be okay, Y/N/N" He mumbled.

Susannah, Conrad, and Jeremiah all sat on the couch in the living room. None of them were crying. They saw me emerge from the doorway though.

Susannah motioned for me to sit next to her, in between Conrad and her, which I did.

"I'm so sorry, this was not how I wanted you guys to find out." Susannah said sadly.

"Susannah, you're gonna do the trial, right?" I asked through muffled sobs.

She hesitated as she looked at me, "Uh... No, love, I'm not."

My heart broke at her words as I stared at her for a moment longer. What did she mean? Was she insane? She needed to fight. For me. For the boys. For Laurel. For all of us.

Conrad seemed to break down slowly as well from besides me.

"Chances are very slight. Well, nonexistent really. And I can't just go through that again."

"But you have to try." I said, a tear escaping from my eye.

Susannah sighed, "I want to be me when I go." She stared at me with a soft smile, "Does that make sense?"

"No, no. None of this makes any sense." Jeremiah said.

"I know, I know, I'm not good at this." Susannah said through tears as she pushed aside some of Jeremiah's hair.

There was a bit of silence as we all were still processing what was happening. I didn't want to accept the fact that Susannah had cancer again. I just couldn't.

"If there's any chance that you can live you have to take it." Jeremiah pleaded. "Come on, Conrad. Tell her. Y/N?"

I just looked at Jeremiah and Conrad. I wanted to say something. I wanted to say everything.

"Why aren't you guys saying anything?" Jeremiah asked, his eyes red. "You have to try. You can't give up on us."

"Mom." Conrad's voice was hoarse and as he lifted his head up, the tears poured from his eyes. "Can't you just try? For us, Mom. I need you."

Susannah grabbed the boys as she hugged them tight. I didn't want Susannah to go

Our crying had subsided and Laurel began making food for us. Which meant this situation was horrible. Her cooking wasn't the best, especially for dinner. She had certain dishes she would make that tasted good though.

So here we all sat at the dinner table. Belly and I in more comfortable clothes because Susannah didn't want us to spill on our dresses, eating Chinese takeout, pizza, spaghetti noodles, and ice cream. It wasn't the ideal dinner, but it tasted good. We all bonded, as if nothing had ever been said.

Life has endless amounts of possibilities, but with whatever comes next, I know I can always return back to this place.

The waves rushed up against the shore, and it was a bright and colorful early morning. Conrad sat beside me, he was happy.

"I can't believe she said yes." He said happily.

"You did it. You changed her mind."

"It wasn't just me. It was Jere who did it as well." Conrad said.

I looked out at the waves as I felt his gaze still on me. I didn't want to turn around whatsoever.

"Y/N, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so shitty all summer."

I turned to him, "No, I know it's weird, and you had been going through all of this. I just wished you know, that would you communicate half of these things with me."

"Believe me, I wanted to talk." He said.

There was tension between us as our gazes traveled.

"We should go in." I said, looking around at the sand beside us

"There's so many things I want to say to you."

I sighed getting up, "Don't do it."

"Why?" He asked as he got up as well.

"'Cause you need someone right now, Conrad. I don't know what I am going to do to help when you do need help. We haven't even talked about the other relationship. Conrad, it's just messy."

"I don't just need somebody." He stared down at me, "I need you. Y/N, when I was with you I was the happiest I could of possibly been. Everyone knows that."

"You shouldn't have to need me. That's what you did last time. You needed me to just fix you out of your hell hole. I want you to want me, Conrad. You have to want me like I want you or it doesn't fucking work."

"I do want you. I've only wanted you."

There was silence between us as we just stared at one another.

His arm moved slowly up to the side of my cheek before he pulled me in, kissing. It felt alive, not needed, not desperate. It felt natural.

We kissed again, with much more passion this time. Everything was falling into places. Everything was just how it had to be.

Everything happens for a reason. Whether it's failing a test, or it's a stupid break up. The butterfly effect makes it come back around. Anything can happen, anything and everything. Just if you let it.

Not everyone goes out of style.

A/N : hi! after i know like a month of not being active, here is the last chapter of the series! i made sure to finish it before s2. thank you so much for the support recently.

i'm also so sorry if this isn't as good as the other chapters 😭

Also!!! if you have any prompts or ideas, feel free to message me and i'll write as soon as i can! thanks!

[nat-20s]

a fic featuring Fourteen and Donna being so so eepy (also on a03)

During one of The Doctor’s usual puttering about at 3 am in the Tardis, they immediately notice two things about a certain door. The first is that in the latest rearrangement of the floor plan, this door has gone from the hidden depths of what we’ll call it “the basement”, to a fairly central area of the top level. Second, and perhaps more alarmingly, this door that has been locked for millennia is now cracked ajar.

He doesn’t, however, feel any immediate panic. Instead, a little smile he can’t quite hold back appears on his face. Soft in their old age, really. Should at the very least check that what he thinks is behind the door is there, and not some sort of intruder. Technically, while the bio-metric locks that had been put in place were some of the finest in the universe, he had enough experience to know that no locks were truly unpickable.

As gingerly as possible, The Doctor opens the door enough to peek their head inside; it’s immediately revealed that he truly needn’t have worried about a break in. Donna Noble, currently prone on the bed, had been the one to open her room, just as he had guessed.

He should have worried about how now, apparently, Donna was an extremely light sleeper. He had been almost certain that he hadn’t made a noise, but not even a full second later, she rolls over to face the door and stirs awake. Blinking away some of the sleep, she sees him and gives him a half-sheepish, half-tired smile. Before he can say something along the lines of “don’t mind me, get some rest”, she pats the space next to her and gives him a “c’mere” nod of the head.

The Doctor goes willingly, and even manages to not hold their breath stepping through the former mausoleum of their best friend’s memory. He settles next to her, face to face in a classic “talking too late at night during a sleepover” pose. Because of who they are, he can’t help but let the first thing he says be, “I seem to remember someone lecturing me about sleeping in the Tardis when there’s a perfectly good bed in a perfectly good house, spaceman.”

Donna must be half-awake, because instead of arguing, she gives a one shoulder shrug and scrunches up her nose in amusement. “You caught me.”

“I thought everyone but Granddad was at the London house tonight?”

“Oh, they are. Work ran late and here was closer, so I sent off a text letting them know I was crashing here instead.”

“In the Tardis?”

“Well. No. That’s my little secret. Or, I suppose, our little secret now.”

The Doctor raises an eyebrow at her, asking for more info, to which she replies with a sigh. “You know, I wasn’t a super fussy baby-”

“-a bit shocking to hear, considering-”

“Oi! As I was saying, I wasn’t colicky or anything like that, but if Mum just could not get me to settle down, she would pop me in a car seat and drive around the neighborhood. Said I was out like a light within minutes.”

He has no idea where this story is going. He finds he doesn’t mind. It’s silly and sappy of him (what isn’t, these days?), but he finds it deeply charming when Donna goes on a little ramble. Especially when sleepiness is slowing her words and she keeps blinking for more and more seconds. They think they’ll get maybe 5 more minutes to chat before she’s fully gone again, and they’re going to savor it. She continues, “She stopped doing that when I old enough to toddle into their room and fall asleep between them. God, one morning they had gotten up early and I apparently screamed my little head off thinking they had left me forever.”

She says that last statement with a roll of her eyes, passing it off as one of those things kids do, but The Doctor’s heart lets out a pang. He wishes he could’ve told little Donna that it was okay, that her parents are there and they love her so so much. He wishes he could tell all Donnas that she won’t be left behind, not in the end. (They also wish they could tell themselves that they don’t get left behind, eventually.)

Personal timelines, however, are messy, and best left alone. Instead, he stays now, and he listens, and he takes Donna’s hand in his own. “Honestly, I don’t think my sleeping habits have changed that much. I still hate sleeping alone. I still hate sleeping motionless. Stick me on a boat with someone to cuddle up to and I’ll have the best rest of my life.”

She looks around the room briefly, then presses her forehead to the Doctor’s and continues, “You know, kind of like the nights I spent here. The Tardis, this room...it was only my home for a year. But it was also the most home I had been for a long, long time. And the house is lovely, so lovely, still can’t believe you bought us a house, but right now it’s too quiet and I missed it here. The various whirs and clicks and hums the Tardis makes? Better than any white noise machine on the market.”

The Doctor grins at her, feeling a bit smug and a lot soppy. “Now you know how I feel.”

She gives a half hearted poke at his chest, which is rather undercut by the yawn she lets out. “Still, ‘spect you to stay with us the majority of the nights.”

“Hey, I’m with you right now, aren’t I?”

She closes her eyes, giving a grin and a hushed, “Yeah, you are,” before slipping straight back to dream land. He technically could slip away now, but he’s already under the covers, are the steady breathing of his best friend is having a rather lulling effect. Remembering that he’s now allowed to rest, whenever he wants, he snuggles in closer, pulls the blankets tighter around them, and does just that.

[violetsaffron5]

NSFW Gojo Week (2)

Ao3 • Discord 18+ • Social Media • Series Masterlists

Pairing: Gojo x f!Reader

After a stressful week at work, Gojo invites you over to his place to blow off some steam. However, your plans for the night aren't what he expected.

cw: friends with benefits, bondage, brat taming (a little) oral, pussy rubbing, vaginal sex, creampie

words: 3.1k

Masterlist • Day 1 • Day 3

“He fucked up the veil, again.”

You whine, frustrated as you march into Satoru’s office. Ijichi has been getting on your last nerve recently. Within the last two weeks, he has missed putting up several veils and filling out his paperwork wrong.

And each of his fuck ups comes back to you to fix. It has resulted in having to stay late to fix his mistakes all because he’s your “boss.”

Satoru smirks, leaning back in his chair as you sit at the chair across from his desk with a dramatic huff.

“How is he supposed to be over budgeting and assigning missions when he can’t even do his most basic tasks the right way?”

Satoru watches you with an amused expression from under his blindfold, “You know, back in high schoo-”

“And he fucking spilled coffee on me this morning!” You grumble, accidentally cutting Satoru off, before waving your hand in the air absentmindedly at him, “Sorry, continue.”

He chuckles, leaning forward on his desk, holding his chin on his hand, “How about you come over tonight and tell me all about it?”

A smile pulls at the corner of your lips as your eyes flicker down to Satoru’s lips briefly before sighing heavily, “I can’t. I have to fix the paperwork. It’s going to take me literal hours.”

“Nah. I’ll make sure Ijichi does it.”

Your brows upturn at his kind gesture, even though you’re fully aware of the ulterior motive behind his actions.

“God, thank you.” You sigh in relief, “If I don’t get my brains fucked out of me this weekend, I am going to drown Ijichi.”

“Bring this same energy tonight, I like it when you’re feisty.”

You roll your eyes because you just know that he winked at you from behind his blindfold, even if you couldn’t see it.

“So, I was thinking-” Satoru begins before being interrupted again by your phone vibrating on his desk.

With a small pout, you check the incoming message, “I have to leave. Taking Nanami to his next mission.”

You don’t miss the way Satoru’s jaw tenses slightly as he nods his head, “My place, around 7?”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Before you walk out of his office, you turn to meet his gaze one last time, biting your lower lip and giving a soft, flirty smile before closing the door behind you.

You and Satoru aren’t exactly dating.

Well, you’re not together at all actually. Just casually fucking from time to time.

After work in his office. His place on the weekends. Changing the logs so you’re assigned to assist him with his out-of-town missions.

It’s all just… casual.

You met Satoru when you started working at the school as an Auxiliary Manager, helping handle day-to-day life for Principle Yaga and assisting sorcerers on their missions.

After training for several months, Ijichi decided to take a vacation, stressing that he couldn’t be around Satoru Gojo for another minute otherwise he was bound to rip out all of his hair and lose his shit.

You would have liked to see that, honestly.

You weren’t really sure why he needed a manager to assist him and drive him to his missions but you did it diligently nonetheless and you hit it off immediately, becoming instant friends.

Satoru was quick, handling the mission within a few minutes, and after, the two of you decided to go somewhere local for dinner. He told you how he likes to stress Ijichi out, and didn’t mean for you to get caught up in the fray.

You smiled at him shyly, told him you didn’t mind and that you’ve been having a better time with him than you expected, after hearing all the horror stories Ijichi had.

“Oh, yeah?” You remember him teasing with a smile, removing his blindfold to show his amused, bright azure eyes and you were pretty sure the world stopped moving at that moment. “We could keep having fun. If you want.”

You knew what he meant, you’re not naive. You saw the way his eyes flickered to your slightly parted lips and back up. He’s attractive, more so than you had ever imagined, and you were pretty sure he thought the same about you as he grinned playfully.

Biting your lip, you could feel your cheeks heat the moment you agreed, “Yeah… I’d like that.”

You were sure he was going to make a move on you that night as you stayed at a little hotel on the outskirts of Tokyo, but he didn’t. The two of you started hanging out at work and after - going out for lunch or dinner during your breaks, joking around, and watching movies.

Eventually, the benefits did start, and the benefits with Satoru are good.

Most people would think it’s because of his riches, and the penthouse apartment with a luxurious view of the Tokyo skyline and infinity pool that makes being friends with him so fun, despite his attitude.

He’s cocky, annoying, and can be downright childish at times.

But it’s actually when he’s sinking you down on his cock, and you feel like you’re being split in half by his rough thrusts that makes dealing with him and his antics worth every second.

By the time you’re able to actually leave the office and Ijichi’s clutches, Satoru had already gone home, long before you.

Satoru is quick to answer the door by the time you’ve arrived and knock gently a few times. He’s shirtless, a cocksure grin plastered on his face and in those gray sweatpants you like so much, hanging off his hip showing the sexy ‘V’ from his muscles.

It takes everything in you to smile back with a soft “hi,” kicking off your shoes at the entrance, and not immediately jump into his arms and wrap your legs around his waist.

Not that he would mind. You’ve done it before.

But you do actually want to vent to Satoru about work. He gets it and understands your frustrations. You’d talk to Shoko but she’s always so busy mending everyone’s injuries that it makes your complaints seem really not that bad in the grand scheme of things.

And Nanami… well, frankly he doesn’t give a shit because work sucks no matter where it’s at or what job you’re doing.

You watch as Satoru’s eyes trail your figure before turning around and grabbing two wine glasses from his cabinet, and grabbing the bottle the two of you were drinking from last time you came over from his fridge.

After work, you made a quick stop at home to freshen up and change into something a little easier to remove. And judging by the way Satoru’s eyes keep finding you each time he turns around, you’d venture to guess he’s a big fan of the little dress you put on.

“Did I tell you about the time,” You begin after Satoru fills your glasses, following him to the couch where you sit next to him, sipping on your wine, “Ijichi copied five hundred pages for Yaga but didn’t pay attention to the edges so none of them were aligned? And then Yaga blamed me and I had to spend my entire lunch break fixing it?”

Satoru hums as he watches you take sip after sip when you go into detail about your frustrations. Eventually, he takes the half-full glass from your hand and sets it on the coffee table in front of him before moving you to straddle his lap as you continue to complain.

“That’s crazy,” He murmurs into your neck as you feel his lips ghost around before nipping at a few spots gently.

You sigh, placing your hand on his chest and moving back slightly with a small pout, “You’re supposed to be listening to me complain until I feel better.”

“Thought you wanted me to fuck your brains out.” His eyes flicker between yours and down to your lips several times as he brushes a few strands of hair out of your face and tucks them behind your ear.

“I do, but…” You grab his hands, lacing your fingers together as span his arms along the back of the couch so he can’t touch you. He grins, watching as you giggle, struggling with the slight amount of pushback he’s giving you, “We’re friends, right? Friends listen to each other complain.”

He sighs, rolling his neck while muttering a faint “fine,” before moving his hands to your waist. He does actually listen this time as you continue talking to him, but not without rocking your hips against his ever so slightly.

“I just... I don’t understand how he became the Director,” You roll your eyes and sigh, knowing Satoru doesn’t want to spend the whole night talking about Ijichi of all things. “I feel like I just need to be in control of something for once, you know?”

Satoru grins, hands spanning your waist, letting his thumbs rub just below your breasts, “What’d you have in mind?”

“Well… There is something I’ve been wanting to try.” You bite your lip, looking at him with soft eyes, really unsure of how he’s going to take this request. “I want to tie you up.”

Satoru snorts, letting out a boisterous laugh and looking at you with the most amused expression you’ve ever seen, “Good one.”

“I’m serious. You do it to me all the time, I want to try it. Plus it’s not like you couldn’t easily get out of it if you really wanted to.”

Satoru stares at you, eyes narrowing slightly as he looks at the sincerity of your expression. His ocean-blue eyes flicker around your face, hands on your waist caging you into him.

If there’s one thing you’ve learned about your time with Satoru, it’s that he has a hard time resisting when you sweet talk him while fluttering your eyelashes with big doe eyes and a slight pout on your lips.

You’re not sure if he’ll go for it, but with the number of things you’ve let him do to you, you should be allowed to have something every once in a while too.

Just to try it. Once or twice.

Maybe more, if you both like it.

“Alright.” He agrees easily with a sigh, lifting you off his lap and beckoning you to follow him to his bedroom.

“That was easier than I expected,” You mutter when he emerges from his closet with a few silky light blue ropes.

“You’ll be begging me to take control soon enough.” He’s confident, cocky, like always. “Where do you want me?”

You nod towards the bed, he smirks, undressing, his growing length giving away his excitement as he gets on his large bed.

He lays at the top of the bed, moving a few pillows under his neck to give support so he can easily watch you in action.

“Hands up.” You instruct as you climb onto the bed and straddle Satoru’s waist, still fully clothed. He smirks, crossing his wrists and holding them over his head, watching intently as you snake your lower lip between your teeth, concentrating intently on tying the knot and ensuring it’s not too tight.

You didn’t ask for it so you’re a little surprised and excited to see he’s not using his Infinity around his wrists to prevent you from actually tying him up. You’ll have to thank him for that later.

Taking the rest of the rope, you intricately tie several knots along his elbows before moving down to his shoulders, chest, abdomen, and at the base of his groin as he watches with a mischievous smile.

“Been thinking about this for a while, I see.”

“A time or two, yeah.”

Sitting back on your haunches, you admire your work. Not professional by any means, since this is the first time you’ve done anything like this. But it’ll get the job done and serve its purpose. The color of the rope Satoru chose looks great around his pale skin, and the way the ropes are tied around his biceps and abdomen makes his sinewy muscles appear so much bigger.

“Proud of yourself?” He quips when he sees a slight smile growing on your face.

You hum, looking over his neatly tied-up body before meeting his crystalline gaze, “Can I take a picture?”

Satoru frowns deeply at your requests before rolling his eyes and agreeing. Probably thinking about all the photos he has of you he has stored away on his phone.

Scooting off the bed and grabbing your phone, you snap a few photos - little keepsakes of the time Satoru fucking Gojo let you tie him up and ride him like a mechanical bull, should it be the only time he allows this to happen.

As you undress, he watches with awe and appreciation for every dip and curve of your body, and you don’t miss the way his breath hitches slightly as you slowly crawl on the bed to straddle his lap again. With a small chuckle, you place several small kisses on his lips, not letting him deepen them like he normally would.

Instead, you kiss and lick along his jaw and suck a few spots at the base of his neck before leaving littering his shoulders, chest, and abdomen with little red spots where your teeth scraped, marking him as yours.

He can easily heal these at any time, especially after you’re done tonight, but part of you hopes he doesn’t.

Your touch is feather-light, feeling every part of his warm skin, feeling and watching the way each of his muscles contracts as you move them lower on his body until you’re swiping your thumb over his hardened cock.

A smirk spreads across your lips as you look up at him through thick lashes, feeling the precum that’s already leaking from his tip. His pupils are blown, more black than blue as you lean down, licking your lips, and placing several small kitten licks on the tip and underside of his cock.

“Stop fucking teasing me,” He spits while bucking his hips, trying to force you to take his length down your throat.

“Don’t be a brat.” You stare at him with the same icy look he gives you when you whine too much. His brow quirks up and a smirk appears on his lips knowing precisely what you’re doing.

“Can’t handle five minutes with a taste of your own medicine?” You tut disapprovingly. “Pathetic”

Satoru glares at you while you grab his cock, slowly dragging your hand up and down with no intention of speeding up. And with the way he throws his head back with a frustrated huff, you can’t tell if he’s hating this or loving it.

He hasn’t tried breaking free, so you’ll go with the latter for now.

You can tell how badly he wants you, and you need it too - need that release you’ve been craving all week. So you ghost your lips around his skin as you slowly bring yourself up to his lap once again.

A soft gasp leaves your lips as you rub your slick pussy on his cock a few times, letting your neglected click rub against the head of his cock before lining yourself up, bouncing on his tip with a few short bursts.

Satoru watches intently, lips parted with pinkened cheeks waiting, surprisingly patiently, for you to slowly sink yourself down like you have so many times before.

Instead, you take him by surprise, slamming yourself down onto his hips. You both throw your heads back in pleasure while he tugs on the ropes at his wrist in an attempt to touch you.

“Fucking shit,” He groans out in a deep raspy voice.

Sucking in a deep breath and releasing it slowly, you give yourself some time to adjust to being filled so completely by him. His chest rises and falls with each breath he takes as you place your hand on his knee, circling your hips against his and placing your other hand on your breast to get the stimulation you’re lacking from his hands being tied.

Usually, Satoru’s voice is deeper, more gravely, and rough with need when you’re fucking. But as he watches you squeeze your breast and pinch your nipple while moaning out so pretty as you bounce on his silky cock, he whines. A higher pitch than you’ve ever heard come from the man below you.

He’s staring at you with wide, pleading eyes. Watching where you’re connected with parted lips that are begging you not to stop.

And you don’t. Only because you might die right now if you did, with the burning sensation that’s quickly forming in the depths of your belly.

Satoru looks so pretty like this. With silk ropes that match his crystalline eyes, the soft pink blush from his cheeks has extended to the tips of his ears and down to his chest.

And god, the whimpers.

Fuck. You should have asked him if you could record this too.

One thing you learned about Satoru very early on in your friendship. He’s not an incredibly patient man. He can be, like how he displayed earlier in the night, but with your plan, you made one fatal flaw.

One he probably realized immediately, yet he let you continue on with your shenanigans. You didn’t tie his legs.

Lifting his knees, you’re forced forward, placing your hands on his chest and stomach, grabbing onto the ropes for dear life as he thrusts his hips, meeting your every bounce.

Skin slapping and moans quickly fill the room as he pistons into your hips at a relentless pace.

“So-so close,” You whine as you lean down and press your lips to his in a series of searing, sloppy kisses.

Your lips are barely moving in sync as you both concentrate on finding your releases, tongues pressed against one another and saliva connecting you both when you manage to pull away.

“Gonna- gonna fuckin’ cum, baby,” Satoru groans, “Gonna fill you up, gonna put a baby in you. You’d like that, yeah? Cause you’re mine?”

“Yes, yes, yes, fill me up, Satoru!” You chant, relenting control, despite you’re insistence on having it in the beginning, “Fill me up, make me yours.”

You both cry out, watching each other's faces contort in pleasure as your walls spasm on his cock so hard it’s like you want to keep him there forever. He can’t help the way he cums, back arching as a loud guttural groan fills the room once his seed is released into your throbbing pussy.

“God damn,” Satoru laughs, easily snapping the ropes with a flick of his wrist, pulling you into his chest. “Ijichi needs to fuck up more often.”

[persephonememes]

* (  GOOD RIDDANCE BY GRACIE ABRAMS /  SENTENCE PROMPTS.

These may have been edited for clarity or length or to better apply for roleplaying.

❛ i was bored out my mind ❜

❛ you're the worst of my crimes ❜

❛ i never was the best to you ❜

❛ i used to lie to your face twenty times in a day ❜

❛ it was my little strange addiction ❜

❛ i destroyed every silver lining you had in your head ❜

❛ we were too different ❜

❛ you were so sensitive ❜

❛ now i feel terrible about how i handled it ❜

❛ now i bet you resent all of me ❜

❛ i don't forget all of my fault in this ❜

❛ i deserve it though ❜

❛ you were there all the time ❜

❛ how am i supposed to put that gently? ❜

❛ down the road you will love me until you resent me ❜

❛ what if i'm not worth the time and breath i know you're saving? ❜

❛ the whole facade seemed to fall apart ❜

❛ part of me wants to walk away till you really listen ❜

❛ i hate to look at your face and know that we're feeling different ❜

❛ cause part of me wants you back, but i know it won't work like that, huh? ❜

❛ why won't you try moving on for once? ❜

❛ i know we cut all the ties but you're never really leaving ❜

❛ i'm thinking everything you wish i wasn't ❜

❛ the call was tough but you're better off ❜

❛ so won't you stop holding out for me when i don't want it ❜

❛ won't you stay for a while ❜

❛ i wish that you'd never leave ❜

❛ i know i know better ❜

❛ if you asked me to run away i'd go easily ❜

❛ i'm codependent but trying hard not to be ❜

❛ do you think we could talk? ❜

❛ yes, i know that he's my ex. but can't two people reconnect? ❜

❛ i'll always choose you ❜

❛ where do we go now? ❜

❛ there's nothing left here ❜

❛ i wasted my breath when i tried to console you, didn't i? ❜

❛ i know that i should hate you ❜

❛ i pulled the knife out my back, it was right where you left it ❜

❛ i just drank something strong to try to forget, but it wasn't right ❜

❛ i almost crashed my car ❜

❛ all i ever think about is where the hell you even are ❜

❛ i swear to god i'd kill you if i loved you less hard ❜

❛ after all of this time, i still get disappointed ❜

❛ it's kinda funny when it goes from all to nothing ❜

❛ you have to laugh before you start to cry ❜

❛ now i stop myself from holding on to something that makes me feel a little less alive ❜

❛ i see through you ❜

❛ where did you go? ❜

❛ why'd it feel louder when all of it went unspoken? ❜

❛ all i can do is hope that this will go away ❜

❛ she doesn't know i'd let her ruin all my days ❜

❛ i'm just scared of that commitment ❜

❛ i really think sometimes there's something that i'm missing ❜

❛ i should probably go back home ❜

❛ i hope i wake up invisible ❜

❛ i guess i'm just difficult ❜

❛ you were everything to me ❜

❛ i've been drinking and staying up too late reliving bad decisions ❜

❛ what am i supposed to do when you used to be my lifeline? ❜

❛ i've counted all the days since you walked away ❜

❛ i never could've seen you coming ❜

❛ i think you're everything i've wanted ❜

❛ you make me really nervous ❜

❛ i've never felt this close to someone ❜

❛ what if you're my weakness? ❜

❛ i feel homesick ❜

❛ i'll say whatever you want, but i've become such a liar ❜

❛ i used to follow my gut, but now i'm just getting higher ❜

❛ i've been thinking way too loud ❜

❛ i wish that i could block me out ❜

❛ i think i'm burning alive, but nobody sees the fire ❜

❛ 'cause when i open my mouth, i seem to be stuck in silence ❜

❛ i thought of leaving tonight, but i couldn't drive this tired ❜

❛ plus after all of this time, i should be a pretty crier ❜

❛ in my head, i make a mess of it ❜

❛ i'm getting tired of feeling delicate ❜

❛ i used to try, but nothing's helping it ❜

❛ it's not their fault, but i've found that none of my friends will call me ❜

❛ every voice in my head is trying its best to haunt me ❜

❛ i should be cool but i panic ❜

❛ words seem to cut so much deeper right to the bone ❜

❛ it's a sort of funny quiet feeling ❜

❛ lately i don't know what to believe in ❜

❛ i drove 100 miles an hour to forget you ❜

❛  how'd you walk away so easy? ❜

❛ you won't even look at me ❜

❛ i hate the fact that i miss you around ❜

❛ why's it feel like you don't even know me? ❜

❛ how are you looking at me like a stranger? ❜

❛ i took up walking to turn it all off ❜

❛ it doesn't feel bearable guess i thought when i left it would all stop ❜

❛ did i fall out of line when i called you? ❜

❛ when i told you i'm fine you were lied to ❜

❛ how could i think that all that i gave you was enough? ❜

❛ cause every time i get too close i just go mess it up ❜

❛ i heard that you're happier ❜

❛ i hope that you're sleeping well, knowing i'm not ❜

[rpstartersinc]

* 𝐒𝐀𝐒  𝐑𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄  𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐄𝐒.

feel free to change pronouns / wording!

“ you are supposed to address me as ‘sir.’ ”

“ i won, i won, on a horse called smokey. ”

“ invited to feel regret, he felt no regret. ”

“ i like you, you know why? because if i tell you a joke, you pretend that it’s funny. ”

“ you hate this place. ”

“ i hate this peace. war, my friend, is where you find it. ”

“ i hope i did no permanent damage. ”

“ fucker, first and foremost. ”

“ i’m used to uneven battles. ”

“ drink. do not think. ”

“ do not be yourself tonight. ”

“ when we are among them, your mother is not watching. ”

“ oh, i’m sensing resentment. ”

“ i’m afraid theft is something i cannot tolerate. ”

“ in war, we are allowed to be the beasts that we are. ”

“ we are taught to kill silently, and it becomes instinctive, almost like swallowing. ”

“ eyes are for thumbs to push… into the brain. mouths can be torn open, necks are a gift - god’s ultimate mistake. ”

“ everything you touch is a weapon. ”

“ you are a weapon. ”

“ works every time. ”

“ doesn’t this fucking squeaking drive you insane?! ”

“ i can’t fucking salute anymore. ”

“ what would it take to make you call me sir!? ”

“ it would take respect. ”

“ i always sleep well. ”

“ nothing is as it seems. ”

“ justified by inner rage. ”

“ they say it is an exquisite death, though, who the people are that know that is unrecorded. ”

“ you’re supposed to be in hospital. ”

“ kill with cutlery if necessary. ”

“ you crept up on me. ”

“ right now beauty is not a currency i value. ”

“ you will learn that i tend to hear about everything. ”

“ they are dead men, just awaiting confirmation. like me. ”

“ if you’re going to stand there staring, we will charge you admission. ”

“ anything expected fails. ”

“ never be where you are meant to be. ”

“ did you have a fall? ”

“ am i dead? ”

“ i’m told my the doctor not to express pity. ”

“ you’re not making any sense at all. ”

“ we have nothing to discuss. ”

“ mostly, i don’t like people. but i like you. ”

“ i understand you gentlemen are very good at killing people. ”

“ we won’t all survive, but we will triumph. ”

“ and if all this is a lovely dream of mine, well it has been lovely dreaming it. ”

“ lately, i’m changed by him. ”

“ if i sit up barking and howling at night, as i sometimes do, he takes me for a walk and throws a stick for me. ”

“ there’s no shame turning back on a night like this. ”

“ it’s broken. ”

“ we need to be alive to go again. ”

“ maybe it’s your attitude, maybe it’s the way you walk. ”

“ you are walking on a tightrope. ”

“ i don’t like waiting around. ”

“ fucking is fine, feeling is not. ”

“ literally, unquestionably, undeniably in the middle of fucking nowhere. if fucking nowhere had a capital city, this would be it. and this would be the main street of fucking nowhere city, and the lord mayor would be fucking no-one, presiding over fuck all, in a place where there was no-one around to give a fuck. ”

“ you need any help, there isn’t any. ”

“ i’m fucking sick of being the taxi service. ”

“ for god’s sake, don’t be seen. ”

“ i never go to parties to which i am invited anyway. ”

“ it’s not a competition. ”

“ fuck the moon. ”

“ the moon is our friend, patience is our enemy. ”

“ those that see us will soon be dead. ”

“ so damn corny, isn’t it? ”

“ i can tell you the full commandment - thous shalt not kill, except in a very good cause. ”

“ only monsters would keep count. ”

“ i will get a break, i am owed a fucking break! ”

“ you’re being very mysterious. ”

“ you always resort to military terms when you’re embarrassed. ”

“ talk to me like that, i will knock your bleeding block off! ”

“ drink rum, fight dirty, fuck the rules. ”

“ who dares wins. ”

“ are you not compassionate? ”

“ and there was me thinking that you were with me because you liked me. ”

“ oh, to run away, eh? oh, how grand a life it would be to be a coward. to love life that much. ”

“ you don’t deserve my father’s wisdom. ”

“ sometimes when you are in command, you need to make difficult decisions. ”

“ never wrestle naked in the sand. sand under the foreskin is one of the most painful medical conditions imaginable. ” “

“ expect to be isolated by my contempt. ”

“ i am a hand grenade, pull the pin, throw me where the enemy is most numerous. ”

“ the eyes of a familiar compound ghost, both intimate, and unidentifiable. ”

“ i find ts eliot rather dull. ”

“ not a debate worth getting sand under the foreskin for, one might imagine. ”

“ you must ask why, because if you know why you are carrying out your mission, when things fuck up - which they inevitably will - you will know how to achieve what you set out to achieve, in a different way. ”

“ i like plans that can be explained with one breath. ”

“ i have you! ”

“ get on your feet! ”

“ i expected better from you. ”

“ i wonder if it’s something more or not. ”

“ i save my bullets for the enemy! ”

“ i cannot believe you just risked your life for no reason. ”

“ you would do this purely to discover that i am not you. ”

“ lesson learned about men, and the motivation of men. ”

“ fuck, it’s a dead end. ”

“ because why the fuck not? ”

“ i’m only staying to make sure you don’t damage any of our property. ”

“ you make me curious. ”

“ what you did today, i wondered if you’d do that if you loved someone. ”

“ loving somebody can make you too fond of life, which… can turn you into a coward. ”

“ whatever is the cause of your pain? you have my deepest sympathy. ”

“ you certainly have my attention. ”

“ it takes me a while to get back to normal. ”

“ about an hour after sunset i will stop shaking, and then about an hour after that i will stop hearing explosions. ”

“ as a general rule, i avoid possession and being possessed. ”

“ among the broken bottles on the floor you’ll find several teeth. ”

“ i blame my father, what’s your excuse for being such a mad fucker? ”

“ i don’t need a fucking excuse. ”

“ one night, someone’s going to come in here and they’re going to slit your throat. ”

“ they are welcome to try. ”

“ the use of irish as an adjective is very provoking. ”

“ i would beat you to death. ”

“ i’d take your knife from you, cut off your balls and stir them into a bloody mary. ”

“ there. that was me pulling a knife. ”

“ no-one can bear undeclared grief. ”

“ do you remember collapsing? ”

“ you stood on the table and told everyone you loved me. ”

“ dear god. love? now i do apologize. must’ve been the whisky. ”

“ if that is rather odd, i’d hate to see very odd. ”

“ he thinks too much. such men are dangerous. ”

“ no-one knows anyone. ”

“ you have great difficulty with approval, don’t you? ”

“ you’d just rather play the renegade. ”

“ there is no time to be unambitious. ”

“ you don’t know who might be listening to you. ”

“ you need to look defeated. ”

“ we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves. ”

“ this is where we split up. ”

“ we’ve been betrayed. ”

“ yes well, vodka does uh, it does make some poor decisions. ”

“ everything i touch… boom, gone! ”

“ my holiday in the sun continues to be eventful. ”

“ what the fuck are we supposed to do now? ”

“ now the blood will flow. ”

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1072: Anime Binging Night (Epithet Erased)

8:45 p.m. at STEM's Headquarters' Living Room.......

Yoomtah: (Smiles Brightly at her Boyfriend Beside Her) Alrightly then, Naven!~ What sort of anime you wanna binge through tonight that isn't One Piece related? Shonen, gorey, slice of life....(Gives Naven a Seductive Look on her Face) Maybe something more explicit to spice up the room if you know what I'm saying~ (Starts Moving her Eyebrows Up and Down)

Naven: (Smiles Sheepishly) H-How about we watch some more light-hearted this evening. Like that lovely Spy x Family show. I never had the chance to watch for myself as of late, but I have heard great things about from peers.

Yoomtah: Oh yeah, that show is a banger. And hella cute to boot, you'll love it!

Naven: I wouldn't deny that possibility. It'll be nice to take my mind off of things for once. Especially everything work related.

Yoomtah: Hell. YES! I am so tired of doing people's paperwork 24/7!!

Naven: You and me both, my dear. But at least we have the night to ourselves. Do you think Mr. Shades will be alright with the girls this evening?

Yoomtah: Oh he'll be fine! Our Ricky-Poo is a very strong wizard boi after all.

Naven: (Starta Snickering a Bit) Ricky-Poo?

Yoomtah: It's a nickname I came up for him. He calla me Yoomy all the time, which I for one adored a lot, so why not give him one of his own, you know?

Naven: I think it sounds lovely.

Yoomtah: Thank you!~ But enough about nicknames! Let's just focus on you, me.....(Hugs Naven While Having a Blanket Covering Around Them) And nthe nightly hours of cuddles you owed me~ (Starts Kissing Up on Naven's Cheeks)

Naven: (Chuckles Ticklishly by Yoomtah's Affectionate Kisses) Yes, yes~ Let's commence anime binging night, shall we?

A Few Episodes of Spy X Family Later.......

TV: LOIDDDYYYYYYYYYYY

Yoomtah: Hey, Naven?

Naven: Hm?

Yoomtah: Are you.....still thinking about that Molly kid in any way? You would always get sad whenever her name get brought up in any conversations. (Gently Pokes at Naven's Cheek) You're even making that cute frowny face every time something's bother you, which is pretty easy to tell if you ask me.

Naven: (Frowns While Sighing) Well....I suppose your observation of me isn't....too far fetched I'm afraid.

Yoomtah: (Softly Snuggles onto Naven) You wanna talk about it? I'm a fairly decent listener.

Naven: (Chuckles Very Lightly) You're a wonderful listener, dear. (Slowly Went Back to Frowning) But to answer your question, I have been thinking about Ms. Bylndeff as of late and thinking if.....not taking here with me was ever the best decision on my part, especially after everything that happened on that day.....

Yoomtah: You mean that whole dream bubble fiasco?

Naven: The very same, yes. I always figured she would trouble in her home life recently, but to witness how problematic it truly was at first hand....('Sigh') Well, I guess I can't say I know how to describe it really......

Yoomtah: Crappy, sucky, guilt-writtenny

Naven: The last one's not even a real compound word and I still find it accurate to my current feelings to the situation. I really wish I could be of more help to her on that day, but I knew I couldn't just....adopt her right off the bat. Especially given the excruciating work hours I have recently and the potential rumors journalists and the paparazzi would spread.....

Yoomtah: (Groans While Rolling her Eyes in Pure Annoyance) Ohhhh God don't even get me STARTED on those......Yesterday, some wise guy from the Sweet Jazz News Daily made a two page article on how you're completely out of the league you are to me and that I'm only dating you for money. Like.....THE HELL DO THEY MEAN YOU'RE OUT OF MY LEAGUE!? You're way more of a man than any of these brain dead morons would even try and DREAM of being! And did they REALLY think I would be that shallow enough to date you only for your riches? BULLSHIT! My limo driving career is paying me enough already, I ain't a shaneless gold digger! I swear, if I see ONE MORE journalist, paparazzi, or who the fucks starts getting into our business again, I am going to find myself a bat and shove it SO FAR UP THEIR-

Naven: Yoomie Dear....remember our anger management sessions and not raising your stress levels high.

Yoomtah: I AM CALM DAMNIT!

Yoomtah starts whimpering like a sick puppy as Naven soothes her anger away with his gently comfort and embrace.

Naven: There, there. It's alright. I agree with every word you said.

Yoomtah: (Looks Up at Naven With Sparkling Eyes) You do?~ Truly?~

Naven: (Chuckles Lightly) Of course. Molly is a timid girl and the last thing I want for her is to deal with these kind of nonsense on a daily basis, among other things.

Yoomtah: Yeah, I hear ya.....You said she was taken away by that Vincent Murder guy before I arrived at the toy store that night?

Naven: That's correct. Despite the name and villainous demeanor, he seems like a nice, passionate fello once you get to know him a little. Molly seems to hold him in high regards due to him being her boss in some capacity.

Yoomtah: Really now? So like what? Is he gonna try and look after her or something?

Naven: Given the care and support he gave her during that time, I'd say the possibility of that is above average. (Grabs his Chin While Thinking) Perhaps I could arrange a lunch date for the three of us sometime in the future....(Turns Back to Yoomtah) You're more than welcome to join us, dear.

Yoomtah: Hmm...Tempting, but I'm probably gonna have pass on that offer. I feel like I would get bored too easily in these kinds of meet ups, ya know?

Naven: Very well. The offer still stands if you ever decide to chance your mind.

Yoomtah: You got it. ('Sigh') But listen, Navey, you can't let what happened that day keep you down forever. That little girl still looks up to you despite everything, right?

Naven: Well, I mean....I suppose so, but-

Yoomtah: And does she feel any sort of malice or resentment towards you in anyway?

Naven: Well, no, not really, bu-

Yoomtah: Then you got nothing to worry about, bug doof!~ You may never be an ideal parental guardian, but that doesn't change the fact that you're still her teacher. And you and i know damn well that a teacher's job is to educate and guide them into being decent citizens of an overly obnoxious society.

Naven: (Smiles Sheepishly) I wouldn't exactly say that they're all obnoxious. But you're right. It won't do me any good if I keep dwelling on the incident any further. I will do better as a teacher and mentor for now on, that, I can promise you.

Yoomtah: (Happily Snuggles onto Naven Some More) That's the spirit, Navey!~ You're making your cute girlfriend proud here!~

Naven: Oh I wouldn't say you're cute exactly. You're more of the line if being beautiful and breath-taking all things considered.

Yoomtah: (Snorts in Laughter) I'm really flattered, babe!~ But I am FAR from being the most beautiful girl out there.

Naven: (Smiles Softly) Perhaps to some, but I beg to differ. (Gives Yoomtah a Kiss on the Forehead) It's one of the many reasons why I love you after all.

Yoomtah's heart flutters like a sound of a roaring car engine being turned on for the first time in minutes, as she begins to kiss all over her boyfriend's face again in a cuddling position. As surprising as the sudden affection was, Naven was more than happy to welcome it given how stressful today truly was for him earlier.

@aprilbrowines

@cyber-wildcat

[oflgtfol]

I stayed late for my shift tonight when everyone else went home early because there was a special event I needed to be on for and so I was there at like eight and I was texting bro and he’s like do you want me to come get you food and hang out and I’m like you know what fuck it because he’s still fun to hang out with even if I’m getting weird vibes and you know what I’m thinking it’s maybe just in my head so I’m like fuck it you know I think I’m in danger but who cares cause he still wanna hang out with so I said yeah sure I’m I’m down for food. OK so he fucking gets there OK he only got me food. I thought he was gonna get food and general but he only got me food like fucking what the fuck so we’re hanging out then inside the office I was clocked out he wasn’t even on the schedule in the first place . We were hanging out like for like two fucking hours after I was supposed to be done and like 2 1/2 hours after I actually was done but we’re just hanging out in the office talking and having fun I’m like you don’t like I don’t regret that you know I could’ve been home an hour ago but it’s fine because and I have to be home and I have to go to my other job tomorrow morning really early but you know it’s fine because this was fun. This was fun to hang out. He’s so fun to hang out with it’s fine it’s totally fine so Yeah so so then we’re going back to our cars when he’s like hey so would you like to hang out again and I’m like yeah sure cause in my head I’m like he’s so so fun to hang out with you know like I totally fucking like to hang out with him outside of work because he’s fine like fucking fine whatever fuck but then but then when I said yeah, sure then he’s like turn his head down and he’s like as a date and I’m like and then make like a weird face and I’m like and he’s like what does that mean and I’m Like , I don’t wanna say yes but I don’t wanna say no because he’s fun to hang out with. I know what I’m fucking losing my mind. I’m like you know what maybe it would be fine. Maybe it would be fun to go on a date I don’t fucking know anymore I know I don’t like him like that. I know I’m not capable of feeling like that I know it would be him but he’s fun why the fuck not not do something new so I’m like so I don’t wanna say no but I also don’t wanna say yes because I’m obviously a romantic I don’t and I don’t feel like that for him now he just wanted to hang out with. I don’t want her to feelings but I also don’t wanna say no so I’m just like I’m like maybe I said maybe why the fuck don’t keep saying to these guys oh my God I’m fucking freaking out so then he’s like I’m sorry I know it’s awkward and I’m like just like I just say I just make a weird noise and make a weird face. I’m sorry I’m like I told him I was I was honest I was like like I totally be down to hang out but like I’m not Not quite sure that I’m OK for a day but I totally fucking hang out so he’s like OK I’m sorry I know it’s awkward and I’m like yeah lol I’ll see you on Saturday cause that’s when we have our shared shift unless you want to hang out beforehand and then we go separate ways to different cars and then I just fucking sit in my car screaming and I’m trying to explain this over text post but then tumbler log me out so now I’m here driving home with voice to text and I’m freaking the fuck out. I am freaking the fuck out what is happened I thought he was safe. I thought I was overthinking it we went a few weeks without me getting weird vibes or like me deciding that it was normal but I was it might be it might not be normal but you know it maybe it’s just him I don’t know I don’t know. I thought it was OK and I said fuck it I’ll take the rest tonight and I took the risk and my God I don’t know how to do that because that was wrong. I was wrong OK oh my God my God my God.

[gender-critical-analytical]

hi sorry if this is an odd question to ask but i'm getting dinner with a friend of mine tonight to try to persuade her not to get engaged to her older boyfriend immediately after our college graduation next year (we're both 21 and he is 27). do you have any advice on how to present "please god don't do this it will be the biggest mistake of your whole life you have so much potential" in a way that won't scare her away from listening to me?

no worries if u don't see this, i'm just trying to ask around radblr (crypto, sorry for anon) because somehow none of our mutual friends understand why i am so concerned and it's driving me a bit crazy

I'm not sure what time I sent this, so hopefully I'm not late to reply, but I suppose it doesn't matter too much since I can't guarantee my advice will help much

One thing that I feel at least helps break a bit of the daze for women in age gap relationships is to ask her to picture herself as a 27 year old. Picture where she wants to be, where she'll be realistically in her career and life in general. Then ask her to picture herself in a relationship with a 21 year old guy (or woman, if she's bi, I suppose it doesn't matter too much for this example). This is almost always something that grosses women out, regardless of if they're dating an older man. Try to gently prod her to get her to think about why it should be so different for her boyfriend. If it would bother her to date someone so much younger, is it not weird that it doesn't bother him?

And, for getting her to listen in regards to the fact that she's putting herself at huge risk with her career, wasting her time on this man (look, I don't know this guy personally, or you or your friend, but a 27 year old man with a 21 year old woman... I just don't think this is a matter of love, for him) and just in general making a bad decision, I gotta ask you to think about something first: how much does she value your friendship?

This isn't about how much you care about her, obviously you do, the question is a matter of, does she value your opinion, and does she hold what you think in a good light? There are a lot of women who will quickly prioritize a man over a lifelong female friend the second they get a one, so do you think that there's any chance that this is the type of woman she is? If not, I really suggest gently telling her that you're her friend, you love her, and that you have a really bad feeling about this. That there's no benefit to seeing her give up something good, but that you don't think this is something good, and if he's the man she thinks he is, he won't be bothered to wait a while longer for her to get established in her job and figure what she wants for herself, and when and how she wants it. You can always get engaged later, but calling off a marriage is much harder and more stressful (especially for a woman to do, considering how the man's side of the family tends to defend them and take offence) than just waiting and seeing.

And, this is advice I recommend you use sparingly, maybe not over dinner, but something that works for me (I really wouldn't recommend this in a matter where there's already intentions to marry an older man, but you're the judge of what you say and do, ultimately, just be verrryy careful with this one) and something that I use to make women stop and think is this: ask her what makes her think she's different than other women who have gotten trapped this way, or had their lives damaged and thrown off course by things going sour? Every woman thinks her man is different. Every woman to get married young to an older guy is certain that he truly loves her, he isn't like the others, he wouldn't use her or try to trick her. Those women weren't, and aren't stupid, they were lied to. If other women can make this mistake so often, and warn women and girls not to make the same mistake, but this just keeps happening, what sets her apart? What makes her man different?

That one always makes women stop and think, in my experience, so at the very least it can plant a seed, but again, please be careful with using that one. Some women can be very defensive of the male they choose, and I don't want a situation where suddenly all of your friends are pissed at you and she has a knee-jerk cut-all-communication reaction

[drakinq]

11/13/23

12:50AM -

Sunday I’m always exhausted. After a long day of activities and ending it with dance, it’s so hard for me to want to do anything but CRASH. My yawns are out of control, I’m sweaty and cold from all the dancing and hungry. That’s how I feel right after training on Sundays. I’m glad I’m having a fulfilling day but I’d like to see me end my night properly by doing a couple things to wind down. Tonight I tried my hardest, I told myself I was gonna have coffee at Dennys and set up my day for tomorrow, journal and finish any work I didn’t get to this week. But after being tired, sweaty and overall just not feeling the best, I decided to try to find some food and go home. After driving around for an hour I just decided to pick up a pack of Ramen and call it night. I had no more energy. I’m proud of myself cause normally I just get in the door and crash but I actually showered and doing my best to make a good journal post so I can start tomorrow morning better.

I made it to Church this morning and Devon Franklin was giving the sermon today. It was a really good sermon about procrastination and actually doing the work you’re calling requires, making the sacrifices for what’s not nurturing your growth and trusting God with the seeds we’ve planted. I’m happy I started going back to Church regularly as it just fills the rest of my day with so much peace. Eventually I want to start going with other people but for right now I think me and God could use this close intimate time. He is really instilling a new reprogrammed mind into me.

The Room on Sundays always brings out my best dancing. Jared Jenkins was our teacher and I got called for select groups. This is the first time I’ve been called out in front of KO so I’m so happy someone is seeing my growth. I struggled in the next class but I think got it more together at the end, I’m hoping me and Shi can work on it but we will see. KO told me he’s gonna be on my ass cause he wants results. Meaning he sees the growth and wants me to make my dream happen. Im so happy he’s rocking with me and believes in my dancing. I wish I had more one on one time with him but so does everybody.

10:23 AM-

Today marks 3 days no weed. I’m not struggling as bad as I thought. Every-time I get the urge I just distract myself or smoke a cigarette which makes me not want to smoke at all. I want to see how long I can last for but I’m realizing I like this sober feeling, I feel less tired and more present. If I do implement it back in my life it will only be at night for relaxing or the weekends to have a laugh. Other than that, I’m glad I’m limiting my usage.

Because I went to sleep so late, I woke up late and with so much to do I decided to skip the gym and get to work. I want to make it out of the house by 1 but we will see. I know I need to make a majority of today focused on dance, creating and reviewing and training. Tomorrow I work but I can focus more on other things. Not smoking during the day has kept me productive so I want to keep it like that, I still struggle with endless scrolling but I plan on nipping that in the bud this week.

Not much else to say. I feel really connected with God and his plan for me so I’m excited to execute. My worries aren’t as consuming and I’ve been making it a point to say I’m going to get an established through this plan. I don’t have much else on my mind this morning, so here is a rundown of today.

I’m about to grub down this chipotle cause I barely ate yesterday and then put some gas in the tank. I need to pick up some cleaner so I can go over cleaning the house and then get ready for the day. I need to make a new flyer for Saturdays class and find somewhere I can print and post them. Shi and I are suppose to session but I also want to session on my own for a little as well. I need to finish creating the dance and review Jared’s dance from last night, maybe go over Kolanie’s as well.

I’m so excited when I start thinking about my youth program. Being able to mentor girls and starting it from the ground up with my own rules and lesson plans. I’m so excited the journey I get to go on with them.

[letterstoself]

thursday august 24th 2023, 2:58 am

dear me,

hi beautiful. i can’t help but smile just now at the thought of you, of us i suppose. where we’ll be, everything we’ll become. i’m struggling right now my love. i really am. but i’m doing everything i can in order for you to have clarity soon. mentally, i’ve hit a wall. i feel so drained of energy, i feel as though i’m punishing myself by being here and staying with someone. i want to be alone. i want it to be just me and the people i love. i’ve decided to start these thursday letters. my story first began on a thursday, and so i’ll share my thoughts and feelings as they come each week. i intend to upgrade to actual journaling soon. once i’m ready and once i know my privacy can’t be compromised. this feels like a nice first step. comfortable. it’s gotten a lot easier for me to starve myself as of late. i’m starting to feel at peace with it now. it feels right. feeling myself slowly but surely shrink away and watching my body take it’s natural contoured state. i have the most amazing bone structure. i am so thankful. i can’t wait to see it in it’s full glory. this is something i’m truly passionate about. not something i have to exaggerate or pretend or act like. i’m currently dreading going to work tomorrow. you’re far too pretty to work you know. it’s not all bad. but i can feel my mind slipping away from this place. like a lonely songbird escaping a cage, but still not free until she finds a window. i’ve been crying a lot. and a lot for me is like, next level. i can’t help it. i’ve left my heart back home with my family. i can’t remember what i came here for. personal development? love? experience? you could say i found all of them, or you could say i’m still looking. maybe i’m lost. how do i find myself? where is it that you are? i guess i’m not doing so great at finding you that clarity yet huh. i want to go home babe. i really do. i miss my family so fucking much and my cat and my beautiful home and just everything. i don’t miss who i was then. i was taking everything for granted. i was unappreciative and impatient. maybe that’s what i’ve found here. because god knows how patient i’ve had to be, even in moments when i’m ready to slam my head in a door or start screaming. this guy, these people drive me insane. but it’s been my job to stay presentable and keep a smile on my face and act as though nothing effects me. stay professional and light and upbeat and fun. even when i’m thinking about self harming and sobbing and flying a million miles away. self growth or just improved acting skills? time will tell i guess. or hey, why not both. we almost broke up tonight. and then just ended up getting bubble tea and having an awkward sex-talk for like an hour and a half. first world problems or what? jesus. in all honestly idk how much i have left in me for this. i’m going to make an effort to try this week but longterm i just can’t. if i’m being honest one of the main reasons i’d want to stay is to go to the weeknd concert. lol. but i feel like that’s not going to happen. he probably was just talking when he said we’ll get the tickets and it’s months away idk how i feel about committing to december plans in august. actually i do know, i wouldn’t feel great about it. it would also mean i couldn’t leave the country before then unless i wanted to be down like 4 grand. sigh. idk. i really do want to go. it’s not unlikely that i’d have more fun just going by myself too. we’ll see what happens i guess. one thing i want to stop doing is letting other people / situations control me and what i do. this is MY life. MY world. if i want to do something i should go ahead and do it without a single thought or doubt holding me back for a second. i shouldn’t wait around for someone to tell me they don’t want me here before i leave, or tell me they want me to come before i go. i can do whatever tf i want. take charge girl. seize this time. i am young and beautiful and have the whole world in the palm of my hand. no one can tell me shit and i’m done taking it. i’ve spent so much time worrying and wondering and contemplating.

now is the time to start living. do it for the plot. i love you too much to let you waste any more time or have any regrets. it’s nearly 5am now and i’d better get some shut-eye before i start on the many things i really don’t want to do tomorrow. oh yeah and PS i was 50.5 today. my waist at 21.5! i was sick this week and pretty much did a 3-4 day unintentional fast. it was that simple! of course it was, starving was the answer all along. im really proud. and i know you’ll be even prouder. i’m so, so excited for you my perfect angel. dreaming of you and doing everything for you, always.

until next thursday

xoxo