#i am a guy in whatever way the spies are guys.

[dueling-jesters]

idc what you headcanon their sexualities are, but black spy is so unintentionally transmasc-coded it's unreal. he is 100% t and also some flavor of lgb, as is white spy. transmasc nonbinary lesbian, transmasc bi, gay trans man, transmasc nb gay, whatever!! those two radiate that energy. i will die on this hill /hj

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

You REEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLY can't just joke and/or give your opinions on a character/publicly humiliate the people who harass you and tell you to kill yourself in your own fandom, even if you give clear compliments to both things and people, without oversensitive hypocrites jumping the Chaz and assuming you've gone full Anti, huh? 💀

Oh no! I called a "Princess" I once thought was my friend "Honey" at 4:00 in the morning after she accused me of being Anti and she throws a fit and then a completely romance repulsed person I didn't even know cut in White Knighting assuming calling people Pet Names was a Scandal! 💀

Oh noes! I called a Fictional Werewolf Furry Girl: 'Little Miss Stinky Tuna"! Is The Fictional Assumed Aro/Ace and fandom dubbed 'Stinky Deer Man' going to manifest and call me an Edge Lord again? 😂

You are all lucky I didn't say "Little Miss Stinky Tuna Bum" with both the literal and figurative arse shots we were served during this episode. Wow.

I am going to miss that sad little Clawdeena Wolf Clone being the sharpest Edge Lord in Skool shitting all over the G3 Monster High Tags like that Cyborg Barbie from The Most Popular Girls just saying what every other Alumni Edge Lord was also thinking, jeez.. Who knew the full moon turned her into Rachael Tice? Hope Rachael Tice don't have Werewolf Lice, like Tuna ... 💀

[firemenenthusiast]

—“spades”

ivo x fem!reader

summary: keeping a straight policy is hard when you have a deep voice talking into your ears

warnings: 18+, smut, porn with little plot, unprotected sex (be safe people), cunnilingus, fingering, semi-public sex

a/n: been wanting to write for ivo for a while cuz he’s a babygirl 🙂‍↕️ also we hit another huge milestone !!! WHOHOOOO THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE. this is my gift to you <3

it’s quite unusual for you to come down to the basement where all the geeks work to provide information for the charter, especially you. when you work with them, you’re usually some place else, only being able to hear them through the earpiece all the time.

you couldn’t care less about them, as long as they make sure that everything going in the way of your mission goes away, and that you’re getting paid for whatever extremely dangerous agenda the charter is putting you through. of course that changed when jack’s suddenly not the one receiving the signal at the end of the frequency.

“this is homebound requesting confirmation, can you hear me well ?”

he had a really deep voice. maybe it’s the prickling ice scattered along the climate you were landed on but his voice sent chills down your spine.

“where’s jack ?”

“jack’s not here to assist you today, i am” frowning, you could sense the sternness in his response, as if he’s pissed to be assisting your every movement from now on.

“hey i didn’t ask for you either alright” all you wanted to do was complete the mission assigned as per usual, collect the check and go home. none of this unnecessary chit chat with the people you only wanted to strictly work with. if you could do it all by yourself, you would’ve a long time ago. but you’ve learned a while back that the mission will only go smoothly with the help of the basement geeks sending cues through your earpiece.

so the mission went okay, it would’ve gone well if the one providing you informations was jack, but instead it was some guy named ivo. at least that’s what he referred himself as, and he sounded pretty unsure about everything. as if he was only put on that task for the first time. you are just glad that no parts of you were severed just to complete that mission, especially with an incompetent assistant panicking in the earpiece.

oh how you wished they’d never put anyone else on other than jack, as he was the only one that actually sounds like he knows what he’s doing.

yet you still couldn’t help but paid a visit to the basement the next day you were free.

that particular voice stood out inside your head, lingering around especially when you tried to close your eyes and drift away. it was all you could think of for days until your feet dragged you down to the headquarters, before your lips specifically requested access to the underground labs.

when you finally laid eyes upon the pair of lips that emits that voice, an immediate grin crept itself across your cheeks. your lashes fluttered naturally to look at him, with the curls on top of his head almost grazing the low ceiling of his work area. you just prayed he’ll never bump his head ever. from the long lashes decorating his deep brown eyes to the neat beard on top of his clear tan skin, that voice suited him so well. maybe too well that he was nothing short of pretty.

it was common for other spies to come down to the basement, especially stone. you heard that she was real friendly to everyone she works with, and for her to occasionally come down there is no surprise.

on the other hand, that’s not your style at all. you choose not to expose yourself to unnecessary danger of being close with anyone down there, as you have nothing to give you reason to trust them. so when you appeared in his work area, leaning against his desk on your hips, it came to be quite the surprise.

“wh- ?! what are you doing here ?” there’s that deep voice you missed from the mission again. the whispered tone of his voice told you he was agitated to say the least, having no recollection of you saying anything about coming down there. carefully slipping away to the files room from the main database platform, you then made sure that your footsteps are followed by his much larger ones.

but that was a number of visits before, you couldn’t exactly put a number of how many times has it been. particularly because you almost always end up banging your head on one of the files cabinet that you forgot you were ever down there, and being fucked stupid to the point of brain fog, accompanying you all the way home from your visit.

you’ve succeeded again this time, in getting him to follow you into the control room, hearing him groan in protest as soon as he turns his back against the door

“i told you this is too close to the main platform, do you not see these glass frames ?” he’s pointing around to the see-through panes surrounding the room, obvious that anyone passing through the room will definitely see the both of you. looking up at him, you have to crane your neck to meet his gaze as he’s towering over you.

“let’s go to the back, please” he’s told you that multiple times, trying to convince you that no one ever goes there anyways and the fact that it’s at the other end of the compound

smoothing the palms of your hands across his fabric covered broad chest, your fingers settle to grip on the edge of his sweater. sighing, the firm flesh always feels so good against your hands. smiling up at him, your grip around the edges tighten before pulling him down, your faces now only inches away, allowing you to feel him shiver a breath out through his nose

“where’s the fun in that, hm ?” you grin at him

wasting no time, you’re quick to peel off the ugly sweater off his shoulders, your tugs slick as he’s immediately left only in his top. his large fingers work on the hem of yours, trying to lift them off before stopping and grabbing you by your waist instead, the size of his fingers almost wrapping the entirety of your sides.

“c’mon, we can’t- not here. if anyone sees im done for” the firm grip against your skin makes you stop your work on his belt to look him in the eyes

“you’re right. oh, or i can just leave, you know ?” raising both your eyebrows at him, you cock your head to the side as you earn a look from him, flashing across his eyes

“no- no, please i just- i don’t wanna get caught” he’s half begging, batting his lashes. though you enjoy seeing him like this, a part of you cares if he’s at risk of losing his job because of you.

he tries to make it up to you quickly, planting soft kisses down at the crook of your neck, delicately trailing his lips down towards your breasts before swiftly pulling your top off your head with ease. letting out a soft moan, you lean against the table behind you on your hands, giving him access to keep kissing down your body, his lips now grazing the tip of your nipples through your bra. you forgot how good is he at this, and just how gentle he could be.

“fuck— just take it off” you urge him, to which he looks at you through his pretty lashes, you can feel him grinning against your tits. he’s shaking his head slightly, opposing to your words as he pushes the fabric of your bra, releasing both your mounds to bounce against his cheeks. between the soft flesh and the hardened nipples on his face, he could feel the rush of blood towards his cock, making him moan against your skin.

he’s continuing his kisses on your navel now, with a hand cupping his crotch trying to relieve the pain of blood quickly rushing to his tip. both of his knees are already settled on the hard floor, the palm of his hands steadying himself against your thighs. as soon as his lips get to your jeans, his fingers move fast to unbutton it before pulling it down, the fabric pooling at your ankles.

tilting your head down, you could see him kissing on your clothed pussy with half lidded eyes, his arms moving slightly to help the grip he has on his hard on. you nod your permission to him as he looks at you, raising both his hands to pull your panties down, immediately closing his eyes again as soon as he feels his lips on your soaked puffy folds. feeling the vibration of him moaning against your pussy, your fingers rake across his scalp in between his tight curls.

his sudden sucking on your wetness takes you by surprise, your mouth forming an ‘O’ before he’s lapping in between of your folds, the tip of his tongue flicking against your clit repeatedly. at this point you regretted not listening to him about going to the far back of the compound, as you feel like screaming your lungs out. the pleasure of the flat of his tongue licking on the entirety of your pussy makes you curl your fingers, grabbing at his hair as you couldn’t help but grind against his face.

he’s enjoying having you smother your juices that some of it is beginning to cover his cheeks that he’s moaning, further sending vibrations to the nerves beneath your folds that also has you struggling to conceal the whines pushing past your lips.

“ivo,, fuck—“

“in a second” you manage to make out of his mumble to the strings of curses falling down your lips

he’s now tongue fucking your hole, you can clearly feel the wet appendage sucking at your sensitive clit alternatively. at this point he’s simply burying his face into your pussy, eating you out like he’s been starved for days. the sounds of tongue smacking on the wetness, accompanying the sucking on your hole makes the room sound so dirty.

before you know it he’s sucking on your clit again, flattening his tongue to feel your folds grazing against his tastebuds for the final time before you’re cumming into his mouth, to which he eagerly laps it all up, his face shiny with your wetness clinging onto his skin.

looking down at him, the both of you lock eyes as you try to catch your breaths, bead of sweat already prickling at the surface of your temples. you hadn’t even calmed all the way down before he gets up to tower over you again, turning you so your back is now pressing hard against his chest, his large hands grabbing you by your tits. his swift movements earns a squeak from you, before you could feel him continue your previous work on his belt with his free hand. the clinking sounds of his buckle tells that he’s impatient, his fingers move fast to push his pants down, forcing the crotch to push down his boxers covered cock, making him wince.

“i’ve missed this pussy, fuck—“ you swear his voice just got deeper when you hear him utter against your ear, his teeth grazing the skin at the side of your neck before biting down on it, making sure to leave marks. the last time he did this, it was accidental but fuck, it got him going like a rabid dog.

pushing his boxers down next, his cock springs up from the elastic band as his fingers immediately wrap around his length. collecting saliva at the tip of his tongue, he spits a huge glob of it down for his hand to catch, before carefully spreading the slick all over his cock.

he still has both his hands grabbing your tits, his fingers playfully flicking at the nipples with his head resting at the crook of your neck. your body is flushed against his, sweaty skin sticking against each other’s as you feel his other hand trailing along your waist towards your pussy, before his fingers settle on your puffy folds.

you’re trying to hold onto the elevated bar attached on the wall, feeling your hole being grazed by the tip of fingers before being split open by two of them, the size of his fingers enough to get him another moan from you. it’s almost crazy how you feel so stretched out with just two of his fingers; let alone his cock.

“i swear you’ve the prettiest pussy” he let out, making you lean back further onto his shoulder. of course he thinks that, it’s not like he’s fucked that many, or anyone had ever wanted to fuck him.

plunging his fingers into your pussy, you could feel them against your walls, curling the tip against it. as soon as he finds the spongey spot when he presses down, he pulls his fingers out making you whine in protest.

“oh baby it’s fine, gonna give you my cock now” the words leaving his lips almost make your knees give out, but he has a strong grip across your waist propping you up.

wrapping his fingers around his cock, you could hear the slick sounds of him pumping his shaft before slowing down to position it against your pussy, rubbing the tip in between your folds to collect some of your wetness.

as soon as he thrusts half of his length into your hole, you could hear him sigh as he adjusts his position. he’s pulling his cock back to only leave his tip inside before pushing it all back in again, his large hand squeezing the soft mound of your tit at the pleasure.

“more ivo, please-“ you hear yourself let out, begging him for more, wanting him to just fuck your senseless

“yeah ? tell me what you want” he’s holding his hips back from fucking into you, making you say it before even thinking to move

“fuck me please, fuck me” pretty much sums up everything that you want him to do to you at the moment, not caring about anything else, even if it means that he’s gonna fuck you dumb.

you hear him tsks at you before thrusting hard, his cock slotted tight into your pussy with a loud slapping sound of his hips against your ass.

“so much for being a hard ass, i could just fuck you dumb” his words slip through his gritted teeth, the pleasure of your walls hugging his cock tight have him groaning into your ear.

the thrusts of his hips makes you bounce against his thighs, your tits bouncing in his hand making him squeeze them harder. his other hand moves down your pussy, circling his fingers on your clit at a rapid pace along with his cock fucking into your pussy, your whines sounding perfect in his ears.

“s’good ivo—hmm,”

with the fog starting to cloud your mind it’s clear that he’s fucked you dumb. your hands are holding onto his arms as you struggle not to let your tongue lol past your lips. his thrusts have gone eager and sloppy too, desperately hitting the tip of his cock against your walls trying to get your pussy to make him cum.

as both your highs are starting to chase your conscience, he’s biting down on your shoulder, the pressure’s sure going to leave marks.

“fuck, m’gonna cum” he pants, his thrusts messy

“inside, ivo please” all you could think of in that moment is how good his cum is gonna feel filling you up and oozing out your hole

“hmm fuck— oh fuck, thank you- thank you” you could feel his cock twitching against your walls as he mumbles a string of thank yous, wrapping his arms tightly around your body as he’s cumming, you could feel his warm load spurting inside your pussy, his hips faltering, pumping you full of his cum all while you’re orgasming yourself.

the control room is filled with the sounds of both your moans as you ride out your highs, sounds of staggering heavy breaths and the smell of sex reeks the space.

ivo’s kissing your shoulder gently, slowly pulling his cock out before turning you around to kiss you. returning the kiss, your eyes are half closed as his lips feel so soft against yours, the kiss slow and delicate, in contrast to what he just did. as he pulls away, his lips still close before trailing down to kiss on your tits, wet tongue grazing the nipple with your hands on his head.

he pulls away smiling, reaching down for his pants allowing the both of you to get dressed.

“you gonna visit me again ?” he asks, leaning on the control panel, watching you smooth your top out

“in your dreams, ivo”

and there’s that damn smile he’s near falling for.

taglist: @flipsconhelado @r4vn @love-me-pls @radioloom @farleighlover @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @luckystrikerealness @juniperhasfallen @themoonchildwhofell @khxna @fuckshitslover @szapizzapanda @inglourious-imagines

divider creds: @loser-otaku-girll

[sweeter-than-teafood]

Texting

AN: I was inspired by the artifact for Amy and Sitri’s card, and thought up the silliest thing lmao.

Tw: A lot of swearing from these devils. Also, this is going from what we’ve seen from Day 3 of the Unsightly Guy event. So it may be ooc in the future. Or not. Yeehaw.

✨—————————————————————✨

-3am, Gehenna’s Palace-

Bzzt!

A new message? Sitri glared at his phone as the lit screen illuminated his entire bedroom. Who could be texting him at this ungodly hour?

————————————————

-Hell-Oh Talk: 1 new message-

Amy (Online now)

Status: Ew 2 drinking tea. Can’t b me, I’m manly as fuck.

————————————————

Sitri rolled his eyes at the violent devil’s status. Of course he’d think that, he has no patience to enjoy sophisticated hobbies. He probably couldn’t even pour from a teapot if the instructions were written on the bottom.

He opened the message, expecting to see some pathetic diatribe of how canned coffee is superior and that tea-making yields zero-rizz.

Amy:

Lol, maybe MC would lyk u if u weren’t 2 busy 😭 over their dead gramps. Solomon! Solomonnnnnn… Wot a loser u r! Enjoy ur left hand, buddy! 😂

…

Crunch!

Sitri ground his teeth, pissed off by the message. How dare he! The Descendant of Solomon liked him just fine! Who was he to comment on their relationship, when he hadn’t even met them yet?!

Fingers started typing away with a fury that wasn’t usually displayed by Sitri. He hit send, and decided to head to the tearoom for a cup of black tea to calm down.

-Meanwhile on the outskirts of Gehenna-

Amy smirked at the message he had just sent to Sitri. Sure, he would block his number because that fancy prick had nothing useful to say to him, but sometimes it was fun to unblock him and send an insult just to ruin his day.

Bzzt!

Oh? A reply so soon? Well, whatever it said, Amy was certain that it was complete and utter angelshit.

————————————————

-Hell-Oh! Talk: 1 New Message-

Sitri (Online now)

Status: Only a fucking idiot would use a stick as a weapon. Have some diversity, you caveman

————————————————

Amy scoffed at Sitri’s status. Of course he’d think that! He thinks he’s hot shit just because he trained in many weapons! But nothing bashes in angel skulls better than what he uses! Sometimes simple is better!

He opened the message, ready to read some sad sob story about Solomon.

Sitri:

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?

I'll have you recall that it was I who graduated top of our class in the Gehenna Military Program, and how I am an esteemed alumni of the Hades Intelligence Student Program, I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Heaven, and I have over 666 confirmed kills.

I am trained in guerilla warfare and I'm the top pistolier in the entire Gehenna Miltary Forces. You are nothing to me but just another measly target.

I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this Hell, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over a simple text? Think again, fucker.

As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Hell and your GPS location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, you lowly maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life.

You're fucking dead, loser. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed and armed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Gehenna Capital Military Force and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the country, you little shit.

If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "funny" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot.

I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. I’ll use your tears to steep my tealeaves in, because nothing will bring me greater satisfaction than to see you snivel and beg for mercy. You're fucking dead, you cowardly bitch.

Amy let out a harsh laugh. Did this dickhead get ahold of some dank shit from Abyssos? The levels of delusion were incredible. His finger hovered over the textbar, before he decided against it.

“I have better things to do than to entertain this butler wannabe. Maybe later.”

-Sometime later, in the Palace of Gehenna-

That damn bastard.

>>Seen 16hrs ago

Sitri grits his teeth in annoyance at the ever increasing hours on the small bar. First that meathead talks shit about him, and now he can’t even form a response?

‘He’s probably masturbating to this, that fucking asshole.’

Sitri shuddered in disgust at the mental image and quickly threw himself into his paperwork as a welcome distraction.

-Gehenna’s Outskirts-

Amy decided to finally reply to Sitri’s lengthy text. He ponders for a second; there are so many things he could say to further fuel this tea-drinking bastard’s aggression. But he opts for something simple that will infuriate him.

-Palace of Gehenna-

Bzzt!

Sitri looks up from his paperwork to see his phone light up. He immediately grabs it and clicks on the notification.

—————————————

-Hell-Oh! Talk: 1 new message-

Amy (Online Now)

Status: Bitches b mad lmao

Sitri chose to ignore the devil’s pathetic status for now. He opened the message.

Amy:

Nice CV, loser. Still get no bitches tho.

Sitri stared blankly at the text, before he closed his phone. What a waste of time.

“I’m not even going to reply to that.”

Little did he know, he would pick up his phone ten minutes later to start typing away.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: This is my first time writing a threesome. And I thought who better to do it with than KiriBaku and F!Reader. I hope it doesn't suck. Let me know! Thanks for checking this out, you guys.

C/W ::: Threesome (KiriBaku + F!Reader), F!Reader slightly spies on the two of them, nearly invisible coercion, Oral {M->F and a little later {F->M}, unprotected sex P->V, pulling out & cumming on F! back, F!'s first time with 2 men at the same time. I can't imagine a bad time would be had by anyone who's with these 2, aged up characters, Kiri is 25 and Kats is around there (I don't know how close they are in age canonically, so deal? Or tell me =). If I missed anything, grammatically or warning wise, let me know and I'll fix it. Thanks, hope you all enjoy this!

WC ::: 4,101

You stood there like a hypnotized idiot, staring at the 2 men as they talked over the picnic table at their campsite.

They noticed your attention. They noticed the first time, the third time. The twelfth time. And whatever number this time was.

You wondered if they were there together together. The way that they fed each other little bites of fruit at breakfast had you thinking. Had you hoping if you were being honest. Not that it'd make a difference. You were over here and they were over there.

The guys waved at you, smiling, laughing at your blank stare.

What they (probably) didn't know is that you were imagining what it would be like to be bent over the table they were eating at. Fucked by either one of them and sucking on the cock of the one who wasn't fucking you. You thought you were being discreet. Isn't that always what you think when you're lost in a daydream?

One of them had gotten up from the table and took a less direct route to where you were standing next to the tree. You were so focused on the blonde that you didn't notice the redhead coming up behind you.

The dazed look on your face was so cute, your finger stuck between your teeth and your thighs clenched together, adjusting your stance to create some friction from your jeans on your puffy clit. It was becoming unbearable. You turned to head back to your site and climb inside of your sleeping bag to ease the nagging of your cunt.

"Hi?" You nearly jumped out of your skin at the word. "OH ... oh my god. Hi. Sorry. There's just a little family of gray squirrels um, the other side of your camp. And I've been w-watchin' 'em." You tried. Your face was scrunched up as you forced yourself to lie to the redhead.

The man laughed. "Squirrels, huh. Yeah, gray squirrels are cute ... or whatever. Um, my friend and I thought maybe you were staring at us and we were going to invite you over to sit with us. If you wanted? Are you ... are you here by yourself? My name is Eijiro ... Kirishima. You can call me Kiri, though.

You smile and nod. "Yeah? I mean, yeah. I'd like that. I am here alone. 'S not much fun out here without some company." Kirishima turns to walk and leads the way to his camp where the blonde is sitting.

He doesn't look as friendly as Kirishima. But you've been known to have bad judgment before. So you give him a chance and you approach him with a sweet little smile and extend your hand. He doesn't do anything but take it and pull you down onto the bench of the picnic table between his spread legs.

"Pretty little mouth you got there." The blonde says. "Good call, Kiri." Kiri smiles and puffs his chest out playfully. "She does have a sweet lookin' little mouth, huh, Kats?" He asked.

Kirishima sits in front of you and reaches out to brush your hair away from your neck. He leans in and whispers in your ear, "So, what are you into?" You're taken aback by the question and unsure of how to answer it. "What ... what do you mean?" You stammer. "Camping? Mmm, I come out here sometimes when I have to get some clarity." You look at the blonde. "I didn't catch your name?"

Bakugo smirks. "Katsuki. Bakugo. And he wasn't asking whether or not you like camping ner--" He was interrupted by Kiri.

"Kats! Play nice with our new friend. Kirishima put his face back down against your skin and took a soft breath in. "Hohhh shit, man, she smells real pretty, too."

Katsuki brushes the hair aside from behind you and lines his nose up with the soft, warm spot on your neck just below your ear. "You're right. Pretty. Like ... like fucking vanilla and cinnamon. And like before sex." You swallow hard and Kirishima moves his head back to look at you. "See? He thinks so, too." The two men look back at each other and nod at some unspoken exchange that took place between them just seconds ago.

"You know," Katsuki said, "we were really hoping to run into someone out here this weekend. His hands were hot as they sat on your shoulders, occasionally giving you a little squeeze. Trying to reiterate their intentions.

"F-find some-someone? For what?" You asked. The sky was getting dark and the wind was picking up. "Why were you guys looking for someone?"

They both huffed a little breath through their noses and Kirishima said, "Fffor ..." he kissed the left side of your neck. Katsuki finished his sentence, "thisss." His lips found their way to the right side of your neck. They felt a little dry against your skin. But the heat coming off of them was undeniable. You try to close the space between one side of your neck but all that does is open up further for the other side to be touched.

"Smells s'good, fuck." Katsuki mutters to himself.

You let out a squeak as the situation settled into your brain. "O- oh. Oh! For that. I ... *aheh* I ... Ok."

No sooner had you finished figuring that out than a rumble of thunder spread through the atmosphere. It startled you so badly that you jumped back against Katsuki's chest and pulled Eijiro closer to you, his chest to yours. "Jesus fuck!" You yelled. "I h- thunder scares me sometimes. If I'm outside, anyway.

"Thunder scares you?" Kirishima asked.

You nodded, "Mhm, ever since I was a kid. I know it can't hurt me. But just the idea that the only tangible thing about is sound, I dunno. It fucks with my head."

Kirishima stood and pulled your hand, his eyes asking you to join him. You watched him as he tilted his head to their tent, urging Katsuki to guide you up and over there with him and you. Katsuki stood and took your other hand and they smiled at you as they gently brought you closer to where they had set everything up.

You weren't exactly resisting their guidance. But your feet were heavy as you plodded over with them. They were walking plenty fast enough to get all of you over there.

"This is us." Kirishima said. Katsuki began to unzip the door and he held it open for the two of you to walk in.

The tent was more like a tiny cabin; there was a little space just inside where shoes could be taken off and left there so no dirt would be tracked around in the sleeping area.

Once the three of you were in, the 2 guys took their shirts off and tossed them aside onto the bed. Kirishima motioned for you to come over to him and you walked there like you had no choice in the matter. Like he willed you there. And so it was.

He raised his arms out and put his hands on your shoulders. Tilting his chin down, he looked up at you through heavy lashes. "You ever been with 2 guys before, pretty girl?" Closing the space between you, he rubbed his nose against yours and flashed you a perfect smile. It brought up a heat in your stomach. You didn't know if you were nervous or excited. Nauseous or getting aroused.

"Don't be stupid, loser! She wouldn't be here if she didn't know what was going on!" Katsuki yelled.

"Excuse my friend ... he's always in a bad mood." Kirishima said as he glared over your shoulder at him. You nod and roll the edge of your hoodie between your finger and thumb.

Katsuki took the opportunity to pull you back against his bare chest and wrap his arms around you. "You're so cute. So much smaller than me." He laughed. "So soft." He whispered into your ear as he ran his hands over your waist, stomach and thighs. "Don't be afraid of us. We promise we're not gonna hurt'cha. Maybe stretch you out some ---"

"Bakugo! Don't scare her!" Kirishima tried to get his brazen friend back in line once again, but he had a smile on his face all the same.

You took the time while they had another quiet exchange to really look around. There was some kind of thick mattress under the 2 sleeping bags that had been zipped together to make one large one. You briefly counted 6 pillows. "You guys like pillows." You laughed for the first time since being brought here.

"Mhm, pillows = comfort. Speaking of comfort, you pretty little thing, why don't we get you more comfortable. May ... may I take your sweatshirt?" Kirishima asked as he rolled his thick fingers just under the hem of the piece of clothing you'd grown accustomed to fidgeting with. You put your arms up over your head so he could pull it off.

Kirishima stepped back for a moment and admired your body in your tank top and jeans. He had a smile on his face as he watched your breasts rise with each shallow breath you took. He pulled his eyes away and turned to Katsuki. "I think that's a good start." Bakugo said.

"I think so." Kirishima looked back at you with a little wink. "What d'you think, pretty? You good with us taking your hoodie off? You look real good ... real good to us. Isn't that right, Kats?" Kirishima asked him.

Katsuki nodded and walked up to you. He put his hands on your shoulders and tilted his head down to look you in the eyes. "We want you to feel good. To feel comfortable. You think you can do that for us? We just wanna have some fun." He shot a half smile at you and put his hand out for Kirishima to come over to him.

He walked to Katsuki and took his outstretched hand and stood close to him. Kirishima looked down at him and put his left hand on the back of his head, pulling him in for a slow, exaggerated kiss. You could see their tongues wrapping around each other.

"Mhmph ..." You exhaled a whine that was full of breath you didn't realize you'd been holding back. You hadn't noticed until you saw their tongues swirling around each other, but you were incredibly turned on. Your clit was throbbing and the wetness that had been slowly forming in your panties was becoming uncomfortable.

The two men pulled back from their kiss and smiled at you, their heads still touching. "We can make you feel so good." Katsuki whispered to you. "Do you want to? Do you want to have some fun and learn some new things?"

Kirishima got down on his knees and put his hands on the buttons of your jeans. "Is this ok, just gonna take your jeans off, yeah?" Kirishima asked you. You nodded. It was all you could do. You didn't want to talk and ruin the moment. You wanted to be quiet and watch as they slowly peeled off your clothing like you were a present they'd been waiting for.

Katsuki pulled the elastic waist of your tank top out and over your breasts, letting it fall back against you. He reached behind your back and unclasped your bra, letting it fall to the floor. Kirishima pulled down your jeans and panties and said, "Looks like she wants to." He kissed your thighs, letting his lips trail over your goosebump ridden skin.

"Are you cold, pretty? Let's go climb into the sleeping bag." Katsuki said.

It wasn't that you were cold, necessarily. But you had never felt so exposed in front of someone. Let alone 2 people. And yet, you had never felt so at ease. It was a strange combination.

Katsuki took your hand and led you to the sleeping bags. He lifted the flap and stepped back, nodding for you to go inside. You crawled in and situated yourself on the plush mattress, watching as the removed their pants, staying in just their boxers. The guys climbed in on either side of you.

You laid on your back, hands at your sides. You didn't know what to do with them having only been with 1 person at a time before this. They got settled on their sides, heads in their hands, watching you. Waiting for you.

Kirishima leaned over your tits and pulled Katsuki in for another kiss. Their eyes were locked on each other as they did so.

It was erotic. You had never seen two people kiss like this before. Katsuki had his hand on Kirishima's shoulder, his fingers squeezing the muscle there with each brush of their lips.

"Kiri, you wanna taste her?" Bakugo asked.

Kirishima nodded. "Yeah, yeah I do." He lowered himself down onto his stomach and scooted closer over to you. His face was between your legs, his eyes looking up at you as he brought his hand up and pushed your thighs apart. "Mmm, fuck, so wet for us already?" He asked. He dipped his finger into your folds and ran it up to your clit. "So wet, Kats. You wanna see?" Kirishima asked.

He pulled his finger out of you and held it out for Katsuki to suck on. "Yeah, so sweet. So fucking sweet, Kiri." You couldn't help but arch your back and push yourself down closer to Kirishima's fingers. They were just out of reach, though. "Kats, she's following my fingers. Watch ..." Kirishima said. He dipped a finger just inside your cunt and swirled it around the entrance.

The way you reacted to him caught Bakugo's attention almost immediately. You could hear how wet you'd gotten and the moan you let leave your lips was nothing short of filthy. And the sound your pussy made against his hand made you even wetter.

Katsuki crawled over you and propped himself up on his elbows above you, his face directly above yours. "Look at me." He said. "I want to see what you look like when you come. Kiri's gonna make sure you cum. But your eyes will stay on me. Got it, princess?" Katsuki asked you.

You nodded and whispered, "Yes." It occurred to you that you haven't really spoken since you got into the tent. Did you even tell them your name? You honestly couldn't remember and you honestly didn't care. You were responding to their little pet names for you marvelously.

Kirishima lowered himself back down and put his tongue flat against your clit, letting it move up and down. He flicked it against the sensitive bundle of nerves and then swirled it around it.

Bakugo lowered himself down and brought his lips to yours. He dipped his tongue inside of your mouth, finding yours, as Kirishima brought you closer to the edge of an orgasm. Katsuki brought his hand down and swiped a finger across your nipple, flicking it, sending shockwaves of pleasure to your cunt.

"Mmmph, mmmhmmmph" You moaned into Bakugo's mouth.

"Shhh, shh, pretty. I wanna hear you. Let me hear you come." Bakugo whispered as he pulled back from your mouth.

Kirishima wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked, flicking his tongue back and forth rapidly. Bakugo watched as you writhed around, grinding yourself against Kirishima's face. Covering him with your slick as Katsuki put your hands on the back of Kiri's head so you could push him further into your dribbling cunt.

He was doing so perfectly on his own that all you could bring your hands to do was grab ahold of his hair and tug on it a little. He needed no guidance whatsoever.

Your body tensed up. Katsuki knew what was happening. He pulled your chin towards him and looked deep into your eyes. "Keep 'em open, baby. I wanna watch you."

Kirishima sucked harder and flicked his tongue faster. He inserted two of his fingers and began to pump them in and out of you. Dragging them over and over your walls. The sensations filling your body and the noises filling the air, all were bringing you over the edge.

You looked at Katsuki as best you could. Your eyes screwed shut at the height of your orgasm. "That's right, princess. Good girl. Just like that." He smiled. "Awesome, Kiri." Katsuki said. He ran his hand through Kirishima's hair, roughing it up a bit.

You laid there against Katsuki, panting. Kirishima had scooted up next to you, his face still wet with your juices. He kissed your neck and whispered in your ear, "So fucking sweet. Thank you for letting us play with you. You're so pretty. We just had to, baby."

Katsuki sat up and adjusted himself to sit up against the pillows. He pulled you up onto his chest and Kirishima scooted up behind you. His chest against your back. You could feel his cock hard against your ass. It was so hard, so big.

Katsuki tilted his head down and kissed you, running his tongue across your lips. You opened your mouth and his tongue was pushing its way into your mouth.

"Look at me, pretty." Katsuki said as he pulled back. You looked up at him. "You still want us?" He asked. You nodded. "You want us to fuck you, pretty baby? Let you feel us 'n let us feel you?" Katsuki asked. You nodded again. "Say it. Say you want us to fuck you."

"I want you to fuck me." You whispered. "Please." You added, meekly.

"Say no more." Katsuki pulled his boxers off and revealed his cock. It was big. Thick. You couldn't help but reach out and wrap your hand around it, stroking it.

You leaned down and brought your lips to it, kissing the head before opening your mouth and taking it in. "Mmmmph!" You moaned as Katsuki put his hand on the back of your head and pushed himself further into your throat. "Already breathin' through her nose. What a good girl you - ah fuck - are."

You pulled back and stroked him, twisting your hand as you did. "She's got a nice little mouth, Kats. Don't you think?" Kirishima asked. "She looks so pretty with your cock in her mouth." He added.

"Hey," Kirishima scooted down and pulled off his boxers, revealing his hard, throbbing cock. You could see the precum leaking out of the tip. "Can I fuck you now, pretty girl?" Kirishima asked, looking down at you, smiling and stroking himself at a lazy pace. "You look so good down there with Kats' cock in your mouth. I want to make you feel good, too."

You looked over your shoulder at Kirishima, nodding. You spread your legs and Kirishima positioned himself behind you. He squeezed your ass and he pushed himself into your dripping cunt. You could feel him stretching you out, filling you up. Your pussy looked so pretty with Kirishima moving in and out of you. The slick glistening on him in the shadowy light of the afternoon.

He pushed himself all the way in, bottoming out inside of you, his hips pressed against your ass. "Fffuuuuck ... oh, oh shit." Kirishima began to laugh and you looked up at Katsuki to see if this was typical behavior of his when he's fucking someone. He tilted his head to the left and watched himself disappear in your body. "I - hooo shit - did we … did we even get your name?"

"Mmmm, yeah, pretty girl. You never told us your name." Katsuki said, reaching out and running his thumb across your lips. You opened your mouth and sucked on it, swirling your tongue around it. "Tell us your name, baby." He said.

You let Katsuki's thumb out of your mouth and said, "Y/n. It's y/n."

"Well, hello, y/n. It's nice to ... have met you? Meet you? It's nice to have you here with us today." Katsuki said, fumbling for the right words as you ran your hand up and down his cock.

"Mhm, mhm, s'nice to meet you both, t- ... fuck, too. Heh, sorry. Just feels so damn good what Kiri's doing back there."

Kiri smiled at Kats and gave him a smug look. "You hear that, Kats? I feel so damn good back here." Kats flipped him off and rolled his eyes. "Whatever, shitty hair. I could make her brain come pourin' out of her ears. So shut the hell up." He said laughing.

The three of you continued to fuck like that, the tent filling up with the sound of your moans and the smell of sex. You could feel yourself getting close to coming again. Katsuki knew, he could see it all over your face; the way your eyes stayed shut for longer and longer amounts of time. How your mouth would hang open. Down to the turn of your head when Kiri hit those magical little spots inside of you.

"You close, pretty?" Katsuki asked. You nodded. "Me, too, pretty girl. Me, too."

You came. Hard. Your walls tightened around Kirishima's cock, forcing him to pull out of you and cum on your back, your ass. "Hohhh fuckshitfuck! Almost didn't make it there!" He laughed as he patted your ass cheeks and watched them bounce back against his palms.

You worked Kats’ dick through your second orgasm, bringing him to his first. Your mouth, ever diligent around his wide cock, sucking and slurping on it, minding your hand placement. Katsuki's cock began to throb harder and twitch against your lips and fingers. "You ready, pretty girl? You ready for me to cum in your mouth? Huh, princess?" You nodded and opened your mouth, holding your tongue out for him to cum on.

"Awwwh, fuck ... yeah. Good girl. Good girl. There you go. Oh shit ... oh shit." Katsuki watched you, your mouth, your eyes, his cum dripping down your chin. "Oh my god. Fuck, that was good. That was good." He smiled and pulled you up to his chest.

The 3 of you laid there, breathing hard and enjoying the afterglow of a good fuck.

"We're gonna have to do this again." Katsuki said.

"For sure. You were amazing, pretty. So good." Kirishima said as he ran his hand up and down your curvy sides and back. "So soft."

"So fucking sweet." Bakugo added. "Thank you for playing with us." He kissed the top of your head.

You didn't know what to say. It was all so overwhelming. You didn't want to go, either. But it felt awkward to impose yourself on their time together out here. So you said your goodbyes, dressed yourself, and headed back to your campsite, where you climbed into your tent and slept until the sun cycled through once again.

You didn't see Katsuki or Kirishima the next day. But you heard them from their tent. Moaning and talking loudly. It made you smile. It made you miss them. You hoped that they were enjoying one another. Maybe you'd find them again before you all left.

And now, you had a newfound love for camping. And you had a newfound love for being used by two hot guys who wanted nothing but to make you feel good and feel good with you. So maybe you'd come back with a plan. A plan to find them and bring them back to your little campsite, where you could lay under the stars and learn a little more about each other. Learn a little more about how you can make each other feel.

That sounded nice. And you could only hope that they would think so, too. After all, there were a lot of days left in the season and you didn't have anything better to do.

The sun woke you up the next morning. The leftover raindrops on the top of your tent looked so pretty, casting almost prism like lights across the small space. You rolled your sleeping bag down and crawled over to unzip the door. Stepping out, you stretched. For the first time in a long time you felt like you were actually breathing.

You looked over at where the guys' site was, but it was empty. "Damn." Turning back to your little spot, you noticed a plastic bag with a piece of paper in it, stashed between two small rocks.

"Hey pretty,

Thanks for playing with us.

Give either one of us a call if you want to reconnect. 

Kats wants to fuck you this time so he’s really hoping you’ll call. 

xoxo

~ Kiri (XXX-XXX-XXXX)

--> BAKUGO (XXX-XXX-XXXX)

Later, princess 

Taglist ::: @callm3senpaii @millennialmagicalgirl @darkstarlight82

[imahinatjon]

Can you write something about a reader who only focuses on what they did wrong. Like for example, they had a mission that they succeeded flawlessly in, and they know that. But they only focus on the small mistakes and how to perfect them. And after some time, Fyodor, who has started to fall in love with them, grows irritated at their unhealthy habit and decides to teach them a lesson, by overstimulating them. No worries if you don't want to write something like this

It has been WAYYY too long. I am so sorry for not getting to this sooner. But hey! Its done now. Been a busy month and my hands are killing me lol.

Anyway, here it is. Overstimulation with fyodor. Maybe out of character.

How much more?

Fyodor x Reader 18+ 💋

This was... oh THIS was irritating. Fyodor didn't send you out often, in his opinion you were too good for the lowly, mediocre jobs, so he'd wait for a better and more Important mission to send you on- he trusted you'd get the job done.

Not that he'd ever told you that.

So of course, you assume your kept behind so often because your not good enough to go on missions - without even realising that the ones you DO get assigned are the more important ones.

But how were you to know that they were important to him? You'd never seen a 'normal' job.

No normal person would ever be caught complaining to Fyodor in such a way. The only person who spoke to him so familiarly was you.

And it was ovbious he had some sort of feeling towards you, to everyone but yourself. Your colleagues weren't sure if they should worry for you or be glad you'd be somewhat protected.

Aha! But, none of that is the point, not really. The focus of this is what your doing right now - complaining again to Fyodor. Telling him all about your last mission. An astounding success it was! But... well, that one guard? He managed to spot you and alert a few other guys of your infiltration, all because you were a little too loud. I mean, you did take them down, but you have a rather nasty scratch on your arm. Only a scratch, but it hurt, and hindered the rest of your mission. Maybe if not for that first mistake. It would have gone a little more smoothly.

Fyodor really didn't care. You did the job, and you made sure it was a success, all the little details were inconsequential.

But he listened to you. Patting your head as your frowned deeply when you sat beside him.

He wanted to fix the problem. Somehow. Your constant complaining DID get annoying at times. Besides, you were seriously underselling yourself on a regular basis.

Then he had an idea.

In hindsight, a stupid idea which didn't make much sense, and wouldn't do anything to fix things in the long run, but it'd be a temporary fix.

...

That and he just really wanted to eat you out.

This little thought of his, an impulse he'd never have acted on if he wasn't already a little ticked is what landed you on your back, sprawled over a sofa, fyodor gently massaging your genitalia, ghosting gently over all your most sensitive parts with his cold hands.

Occasionally he'd hit that one spot, making you flinch with a cold shiver up your spine and your hips twitch.

You sighed quietly, he was slow, and it was relaxing, blissful, and then you felt something warm fan over you.

Opening your eyes you spied his mouth closing in on you, ready to take in your essence.

"W-wait!" You yelped

Fyodor stopped and looked up, expectantly, he wanted an explanation

"Its not... I'm... what if it doesn't... it won't taste... Good?" You weren't sure hoe exactly it should he said. You were sure whatever he wanted to do would feel heavenly, and you desperately wanted him to continue, but doubts persisted.

He sighed.

"Any more complaining and I'm not letting you come"

'What?' You thought to yourself. He was harsh, and you were sure he would stick to his word should you complain again, but, his hand squeezed yor thight gently. A subtle message 'its okay'

And he was soon back between your legs, tongue working wonders, one hand over your stomach, arm keeping you still, the other toying where his mouth was absent.

He moved around a lot, switching his attention to various parts of your body, bringing you closer and closer to an edge you would soon reach.

You felt your muscles tighten, his hair run between your fingers, and you were sure you must have called his name at some point as your mouth was open and throat a little dry.

You needed some water.

But something was stopping you after your climax. A sensation that slightly ached, made you wince and look down. Fyodor was still going. He has to know you've already come right? Surely...?

Of course he knew.

But you hadn't much time to entertain his intentions as your next orgasm was ready to crash down upon you like a tidle wave, more intense than the previous.

He shifted, leaning up over you.

"Think you can come again..."

You wanted to shake your head no...

But... the I

Thoughts of what he could do to you... this was a change you didn't get everyday.

All you could do was weakly nod. Even if all your insides all felt tight, even if it ached slightly, even if you grew tired... you wanted to take everything he would give to you.

Just like another mission. How much could you take?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good?

[penny00dreadful]

So... some of you may have noticed my fics have come to a screeching halt the last couple of months which is not like me and I am here to explain myself.

Babygirl, I have been preparing.

The end of this month is my 1 year anniversary of posting in this fandom, of posting any of my work online after not doing it for like fifteen fucking years and it has brought me so much incandescent joy, I decided I had to do something for it.

(I've also hit like... several milestones which is fucking insane like you all know I'm just some cranky bog witch, right??)

I have been working on my WIPs for over the last two months. All... holy mother of god... like nine of them???

Some of these have been completed, some I am still writing and some are mostly done.

So starting from my anniversary date, 23rd October, every second or third day, I'll be posting a chapter of something.

I have so much material built up this shit could go on until 2024

@hbyrde36 called it my own personal Penny00Dreadful BigBang... and yeah kinda! 😅

I wanted to do this to show just how much I love this community. Your kind words, your support, your unhinged ramblings, your obsessive love, your talent (for free??) it's all amazing it's so amazing and I wanted to explode forth with my love for it so I figured why the fuck not do this stupid idea??😅

All of these will be posted both to tumblr and AO3 so subscribe over there to keep updated or follow me here!

OH! And let me know if you wanna be tagged! If you wanna be tagged for a specific fic or for everything I'll add you, whatever you want.

You've made me so happy and so warm for the last year. The way I know if I'm having a bad day I just need to hop onto this side of tumblr and everything will be peaches and gravy again.

I love you guys so much. 😘🖤

Updated Schedule - (18th Feb 2024)

Fic list with blurbs below the cut, this will (roughly) be the order they're posted in:

Return of The King - COMPLETE

Steddie Vampire AU with a twist! Vampire Steve comes back after falling to the bats. There is two more chapters left and those chapters have been completed.

Comeuppance - COMPLETE

Dustin just wants Steve to be happy. So he tries to parent trap him with Nancy. Clearly they should be together. But Steve's heart doesn't even seem to be in it at all! How is he so bad at this? And Eddie is being less than helpful

Rookie Mistake - COMPLETE

My Steddie Established Relationship Spies AU oneshot that will have a multi-chapter prequel fic coming very soon after!

Eddie is "retired" and Steve has been injured on the job, so he's supposed to be taking it easy. How hard could a walk to the gas station be?

Before He Cheats - COMPLETE

Songfic! Carrie Underwood - Before He Cheats

I literally have no excuse for this one. The rotted brainworms were behind the steering wheel with this one.

One evening, Eddie gets a call from some guy named Steve dropping the news on him that his boyfriend has been cheating on him. With this Steve person and Steve had no idea up until that day.

And Eddie rarely takes that shit lying down.

Steddievember Smut - COMPLETE

No Nut November is here! One can play however he wants. The other just has to wait for December to roll around. I have no other words to describe what this will be, it does what it says on the tin. I blame the STWG discord server. Currently we're looking at four little ficlets for this.

Cat and Mouse - COMPLETE

The Steddie Spies AU Prequel! How they got together and the extreme ups and downs their enemies/rivals to lovers journey goes through. I had so much fun with this one.

And They Were Roommates! - COMPLETE

omg they were roommates.

Steve and Eddie don't hate each other exactly. They just... tolerate each other. But one night Eddie doesn't come home for hours. Long after he's supposed to and it's not like Steve is worried or anything... he's just... concerned for a fellow human being... that's all.

Through The Valley - IN PROGRESS

Post-Apocalyptic AU. Eddie, Dustin and Nancy have a nice little community of survivors outside of Hawkins that they take care of, surviving day to day. Everyone's a little broken, missing the rest of their Party just hoping that one day they'll find each other again.

Devotion

Dungeons and Dragons AU. Steve is the golden boy of the small town of Hawkins. Harrington in name and now a Paladin with his very own oath to hunt down the Bard, the witch Eddie Munson and bring him back to justice under High Priest Henry Creel.

[hotvintagepoll]

I am adoring all of these polls and gif sets and just being fed so many hot vintage people. As someone who really hasn’t watched very many classics, are there any movies you’d recommend for someone just starting to dip their toes in older media but unsure where to start?

Sure! I don't want to sway any voting, but I'll put an incomplete list of favorites that involve hot men not still in the bracket below the cut.

Something to note that applies to most of these old movies—older movies have different pacing than modern movies, so some of these might seem really slow or weird to start. There are also different ways of framing gender and agency, for better and for worse. I've italicized the ones that I think are the best for starting with, but go with whatever genre/aesthetic sounds best.

The Court Jester (Danny Kaye, Basil Rathbone)—a circus performer working for a quasi-Robin Hood infiltrates the royal court. Fun comedy that's incredibly accessible and still so light on its feet. Swordfighting, glamorous medieval costumes, court intrigues, and silly accents.

Singin' in the Rain (Gene Kelly)—fun polyamorous musical comedy. The dancing is incredible, but so is the sense of joy and camaraderie between Gene Kelly, Donald O'Connor, and Debbie Reynolds. Genuinely captures the feeling of hanging out with your best friends. 1920s Hollywood, big movie studios, backstage drama, goofy hijinks.

The Adventures of Robin Hood (Errol Flynn, Basil Rathbone)—classic swashbuckler/romance. It could read a little slow to modern tastes but the action scenes are absolutely killer, as is the sentiment of seeing little guys pull down big capitalists evil monarchs. Swashbuckling, labor activists merry men hanging out in the woods, hot men in tights, social commentary swords, a Maid Marian who really holds her own and falls in love with the socialist

Charade (Cary Grant)—thriller/romantic comedy. Audrey Hepburn's husband dies and leaves her a hidden inheritance, and she's racing some skeevy characters to find it. A little bit scary but mostly charming and gorgeous, and you can find it high quality virtually anywhere because they fucked up the copyright trademark in the opening credits. Romance, murders, Paris, 1960s fashion, chases in the night.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (Dick Van Dyke)—this movie is divisive for some reason—I personally like peace, love, and joy, so it makes the list. This is a James Bond movie if James Bond had two kids, lived in a windmill in the south of England, and was into cottagecore inventions more than martinis and racism. This is very much a kids' movie so go in with that expectation, but enjoy the gorgeous production design, the wonderfully silly performances, and Lionel Jeffries pulling out every stop as an insane old man. Dick Van Dyke has excellent DILF energy. Magical cars, big musical vibes, fun inventions, and romantic fantasy.

To Be Or Not To Be (Jack Benny)—comedy/drama. A ragtag Warsaw theatre troupe stands off against the Gestapo after the invasion of Poland. TW for Nazis, obviously, but overall this is a comedy with some heft, and kind of shocking to be this ballsy about fucking hating Hitler's guts in the 1940s. Hambone actors, Shakespeare, spies, 1930s gowns. It's been a minute since I watched it so I don't think there are any TWs here, but go forth with caution.

Witness for the Prosecution (Tyrone Power)—mystery/legal drama based off an Agatha Christie story. The performances are campy fun and the twist would be at home in something like Knives Out. Big dramatics, hambones, lots of talking, a bit of a mindbender.

The Lady Vanishes (Michael Redgrave)—mystery/suspense/romantic comedy. It's a little slow to start but roll with it—once the action moves to the train the pacing really picks up. This gets slotted as a thriller sometimes but it's much funnier and gentler than that. There's some period-typical snarkiness directed at anyone Foreign™ by some of the British characters; the British characters are also made fun of. Trains, British people, international shenanigans, mystery, and humor.

All About Eve (absolutely none of these hot men, lots of hot women though)—a legendary actress fights for her life against the rising star who supplants her. Big drama, big performances, lots of gasp! and dahling! and vicious little quips. New York, theatre pronounced theahhtah, drama queens and plotting.

The Philadelphia Story (James Stewart, Cary Grant)—talk-heavy comedy, lots of quick banter and period transatlantic accent fun. It's a bit shouty and conflict-heavy at times, but I don't think James or Cary have ever been hotter, and Katherine Hepburn is just wow. Very funny dialogue, relatable characters, incredibly hot across the board. There is one instance of a racial slur (not directed at anyone but still there) and one shove. Some people won't like the discussion of Hepburn's character's choices as a daughter and a wife. With all of these movies you'll see a a range of how female characters are presented and treated, and while some period movies fall hard for sexist tropes, I personally think the performances, direction, and subtext of many of these films actually prioritizes the experiences of the female characters and shows them as living, breathing people, even if they're not framed the way they would be today.

[prosperdemeter2]

WIP Wednesday

Not watermark this time but another AU that I am having WAY too much fun writing... I give you a glimpse of Retail Manager!Eddie and Fire Marshal!Buck. I'm actually really excited for this story to be finished, I have so much planned for it.

Eddie was going to commit arson.

Which probably wasn't the smartest thought to be having while the much too attractive Fire Marshall listed out every single thing the previous store manager had screwed him over on but…. But Eddie was going to commit arson. At this point, it would probably help the company out to just burn down the whole store, take the insurance payout, and start over from the ground up. Preferably while still keeping him employed but, well, beggers couldn't be choosers and all that. “Your score is horrible,” the guy said with a tone of voice that meant that he was at least mentally, laughing in Eddie’s face. “Like, seriously, I don't think I should even let you stay open for business with a score this low.”

“So shut us down.” Eddie grumbled, kicking his sneaker against the scuffed up, unfinished concrete floor in front of the management desk.

He had been there a week.

A week. And Eddie had already had to argue with several customers over the return policy because the previous manager - may she rest in absolute hell (no, she wasn't dead, she had just gone to another store down the road and Eddie hated her on principle) - had thought the sign explaining it was tacky and removed it from the registers (which was illegal. They had to be posted). He had already had three workers put in their notice, the assistant manager kept looking sorry for him and annoyed by his questions, and now this. The Fire Marshal's inspection.

Eddie had worked his share of retail jobs and none of them enjoyed when the Fire Marshal visited. Granted, none of his stores had failed as hard as this one was apparently going to, but he figured there was a first time for everything.

The Fire Marshal snorted, “I'm not shutting you down.”

Great. Of course he wasn't. He was just wasting Eddie's time by pretending to care about his job. “Listen -.”

“I get it,” the Marshal said, pen tapping on the clipboard he brought with himself. It had several stickers on the back. Eddie had spied one that had said ‘hello, I'm anxious and I'm trying my best’. It looked like Chris’ folder for school. “It's, what, your first week?”

Eddie tried not to twitch and, instead, crossed his arms firmly around his chest. “Yes.”

“We'll call this a test run. You see what I do this time around, I give you a… Progress report or whatever. I'll come back in a few weeks when you've had some time to settle in and fix stuff up. Give you your real grade then.”

“That's…” Nice. Unfairly kind, actually. Something Eddie really hadn't expected. Every Fire Marshal Eddie had ever had the honor of being inspected by had shown up in a stuffy suit and tie, their badge clipped to their front pocket, and the air of someone who was almost good enough to be a firefighter permiating their being. This guy had shown up without any grays in his hair, a stupidly kind looking professional smile, a crisp white shirt with a small stain on his sleeve and a dark navy tie. He had introduced himself with a quick, firm shake of Eddie’s hand and said hello to the cashiers. He had worn his badge on his belt loop, not his pocket, and he had waited until Eddie was done with a customer before asking go to his office. Eddie didn't have any reason to be being so cold towards him. He almost felt guilty about it.

“Here,” The paper ripped as he tore off Eddie’s copy, signed the bottom, and handed it to him.

A 23%?!

Eddie balked at the score, “Oh, come on, man.”

“You're lucky it's not worse.”

“How is this lucky? It's an F minus.”

“Your smoke detectors don't even work in half the store.”

“They work.”

“See that blinking red light?” The Marshal pointed to the smoke detector above Eddie’s head. It blinked mockingly at him. “Half your alarms aren't doing that.”

Okay, so that… was a problem. “You marked down,” Eddie glanced at the paper, the neat, blocky handwriting in all capital letters. “That our store is too dirty. We clean it every night!”

“Cleary, not well enough.”

Absurdly, Eddie was insulted on behalf of his dusters. “You're just being petty.”

The Marshal bristled, “No, I'm being thorough.” He clicked his pen and shoved it in the front pocket of his khakis, and like it was mocking him, the overhead light in his office flickered, threatening to turn off completely. “I'll be back in a few weeks. Get this stuff fixed, and I'll give you an actual grade.”

“Get this stuff fixed, and I'll give you an actual grade,” Eddie mocked when he had left, burying his face in his hands with a groan. “Fuck you, Fire Marshal…” he glanced at the papers, to the name written out in print first before signed much too neatly. “Buckley.”

@wildlife4life 😘

[friendlyengie]

I would love to hear ur hcs about the mercs sleeping habits (including ur OCs ofc)

ive always wanted To draw something for this but ive never had the like. Idea to do it in a way that would land the punchline. But basically on their days off I think Engineer is up until sunrise and Demo sleeps until sunrise and they sometimes catch each other in the middle but otherwise they wont see each other until theyre forced to start waking up at the same time again for work.

Anyways . Specifics. Hm.

Medic- trying to write this out for him I’m torn between “despite the way he is, Medic’s sleep schedule is shockingly consistent” and “he surgically removed the need for sleep out of his brain when joining Mann Co. and now sleep is like a recreational activity for him.” I genuinely think it could go either way.

Sniper- sleeps a solid 8 hours and still manages to pass out standing up during mission briefings. I don’t think his sleep is particularly pleasant, easily startled due to spy anxiety. But during his inappropriately timed naps? He could sleep through the base exploding probably.

Scout- Shockingly well put together morning person if he gets to sleep on time. Usually the second person up after Soldier to go on a morning run and shit. But if his sleep schedule is thrown an hour off track it all goes out the window. Drag his out of bed and he goes right to the couch and back to bed.

Heavy- With the way he lived growing up I could see him really having trouble with sleeping. Not easily startled, but very restless. Type of guy to occasionally have a “Something is Very Wrong” instinct kick in at 3 am and is perfectly aware that trying to get back to bed afterwards is a lost cause, so he’s learned to commit and has a handful of things that he does to pass the time instead.

Engineer- great at giving well thought out advice on why sleep is important, follows it unless he doesn’t. Celebrates his ability to keep himself on a good sleep schedule for a few weeks by letting himself go multiple days with no sleep if he feels like it’ll be “useful” for whatever he’s working on. Started to cap himself off at a 72 hour maximum after a 5-day streak resulted in the genius decision making that went into getting drunk and lobbing off his hand (And then remembering he probably should’ve had Medic around, or a proper gunslinger prototype built before doing so.)

Pyro- probably sleeps but always seems strangely and immediately attentive if you go to wake them up.

Demoman- respects his sleep schedule and expects you to as well. Fuck your all nighters, he knows how comfortable his bed is and he’s taking it. Hours vary depending on how much he’s been drinking, which will also determine how well he participates in the “guy who can just kind of fall asleep anywhere” club.

Spy- I feel like the only thing worse than sleep paranoia about spies is being a Spy trying to have a proper sleep schedule. Less as a result of his current job and more as a result of the many jobs hes taken in the past, I’d think Spy’s developed serious paranoia to letting his guard down in most regards, sleep included. Smoking supposedly “helped” the issue way in the beginning, most definitely just exasperates the issue now. Usually walks around the base with clear intent as to not be heard by anyone, so he’s probably got most of them convinced he sleeps pretty routinely.

Soldier- Consistently, on the dot, like clockwork. Not always the first to bed, but always the first to wake up. Wouldn’t wake up if you launched a bomb through his window but if you tried to gently nudge him to wake him up he would attack you like an enemy combatant and now you have to fight him and win.

[thepalaceofharuhime]

Hmmm…

Looking at your fandoms, I can’t help but think some sort of Bingqiu in Spy X Family (or a SxF Xianxia fusion) could be super fun!

The question is… what would their roles be.

Assassin Luo Binghe, or spy Luo Binghe… and which of them gets gender swapped. 🤔

Oh!! Maybe Shen Yuan was meant to be an ally of the female half of the main duo, Liu Mingyan, but through shenanigans he somehow ends up with her role instead, and the System demands he fake marry Binghe anyway. 😂

This is exactly the kind of prompt i was hoping for! TY!!! 🙏

The way i see it Binghe would definitely be the assassin, Shen Yuan is too big of a softie not to mention one who so easily put on the mask of another man before so he would definitely be the spy.

But also being oblivious to feelings yet a capable badass, bad in the kitchen, feeling inadequate as a partner? All Shen Yuan. Binghe with his protagonist Halo meanwhile would fit better with Mr. All around perfect Husband. So i guess it'd be a little like Yor and Loyd had switched professions.

Shen Yuan's over protective brother in a position of power? I wonder who that would be? Enter Shen Jiu haha. Rather than secret police he'd be a detective looking in to all the murders rather than keeping state secrets from spies though. To keep that rivalry between him Binghe. The family member Binghe became an assassin to provide for? His mom. The gardener AKA the guy who hired him and hands him his missions? Meng Mo. Franky,the spy's funny informant and gadget supplier, occasional babysitter and not to mention bestfriend? Shang Qinghua.

I dont know if i should replace Fiona with Liu Quinge as Fiona's character really would fit Binghe better. But Liushen is a weakness of mine even if onesided and those two were just made for coworker romances. Maybe I should give Binge someone trying to woe him too? Sha hualing? Then if i dont go with your other idea of having SY transmigrate in to Liu Mingyan (which i am saving up in my head because i absolutely love the idea) then i can add something in the background with her and Sha hualing. I'm positive i could find a way to write in Mobei for SQH or i could go with Scumplane and have him end up Shen Jiu and actually yeah that would work, need to distract SJ long enough for Bingyuan to get it on afterall. Oh what about SQH x SJ x LQG? Or should Shen Yuan get a second husbandafterall? Alternatively imagine LQG crying over a bowl of icecream.

Next question is if SY didnt transmigrate into LMY then who is he? What about Ning Yingying? Who could be SJ's little sister in this world? Or he couldve just been put in there as a female version of himself. Or like it was with Shen quingiu a character who vaguely resembles him and has a similar name. She just happens to be a woman though. Or maybe go with the mulan aproach and have him crossdress? But then how does he explain to his brother that he's suddenly - he could say that he's in love with binghe and the only way to marry him was fake his papers to pretend to be a woman since queer marriage isnt yet allowed in their fictional country. Like no one cares if they date its just they havent gotten to the legalisation of marriage yet. And if SJ asks why they had to get married so suddenly anyway (cuz no way in hell is SY getting away with saying he forgot to tell him for a year) he could say that they had to so they could adopt their daughter. Who in this case scenario could be Ning Yingying, should she still have Anyas powers? damian could be Ming fan or the little palace girl or whatever (im not yet far enough in the books to now her and the old man that well so id have to check the wiki) and i could make the palace master donovan desmond and have SY and LBH team up to take him down in the end.

Anyways yeah these are just some ideas, and again thanks for the prompt! I can't wait to write this! Maybe i'll draw something for it later too. ❤️

[closedrop]

So far I am 25 hours into Crisis Core and learned many things

(Crisis Core spoilers and theories ahead)

- Genesis has a Bible (most likely related to LOVELESS and his theories) and I joined his fan club

- Sephiroth has a fan club with “images that your average Sephiroth fan could never ever dream of seeing” apparently which is a bit worrying but I am also a Sephiroth fan club member so

- Tseng knows Aerith somehow? Willing to bet this is either related to her having been in I think Shinra facilities for a while. Orrrr something love related(?)

- Cid is in space training :) (I love Cid.)

- Cissnei is a character, don’t know much about her but she’s there and I don’t THINK she’s in the original FFVII but if she is she’s hidden because I dragged Cloud around on SO MANY side quests. (Cissnei your chances of living do not look good in the future I’m not gonna lie)

- I believe Gongaga is still intact and hasn’t yet been destroyed by theeee Mako Reactor I think it was sooo that’s probably gonna be an important plot point if that happens

- At least two of the SOLDIERS are gay for Zack or at least find him attractive in some way (which if they are, good for them, good for them)

- The fact that once you’re in the science dept. you can’t leave because they deal with too much sensitive information, that’s a really nice detail and I really love it. I learned that a few days ago I think and I really appreciate that because it makes Hollander’s stuff make more sense I guess from what little I do know

- I lied about Sephiroth he’s not the comedy character it’s Genesis, my man just shows up, spouts poetry(It’s always LOVELESS) and then dips. “My friend, will you fly away now. To a world that abhors you and I 🤓” (I’m sorry Genny ily I’m in your fan club 😞)

- Apparently nobody likes Angeal because from what I saw there was one person in his fan club and it’s getting shut down because she’s too depressed to do anything about it (unless Zack intervenes, which can’t be possible anymore because I missed that chance, sorry Angie 😞)

- There’s a lot of definitely not relevant small details(lie) Like Zack’s whatever limit break that he uses when you haven’t gotten the character’s image in the DMW yet. It’s just cross slash, which is Cloud’s 2nd limit break in the original FFVII (I can’t say anything about the new one since I haven’t played it yet- but yeah) Another one being Aerith’s bow, since Zack buys it. (I’m sure there’s more I can’t think of right now but yeah)

- Zack is 6’1” and his hobby is squats apparently which makes sense but I figured he’d more of a casual baking kind of guy. (Though he’d also be the kind of guy to burn like Kraft Mac n cheese so I don’t know if I’d trust him in the kitchen ever-)

- Zack got doxed lol (and Yuffie got his address)

- Zack the puppy.

- Wutai spies are very bad at being spies

- Every child is a con artist (except for that one that one time)

- Zack, master treasure hunter (Me because I have spent most of my time doing just missions and side quests-)

[chaoticbardlady99]

Lethal Woman- Chapter 4 (Astarion x GN! Reader)

Background- You are a Nightmask Death Bringer who was kidnapped by a Nautiloid Ship. Along with 6 strangers, you search Faerun for a cure for the Tadpoles in your heads- before it’s too late.

Author Note- I changed up the backstory a bit because I finally made a Tav that I really love. I am going to post a picture of her- please remember that you can imagine yourself as whatever race, character, etc you want. This is just the character I envision as “Rowan”. (half drow with draconic sorcerer blood from your mother).

CW: Gore, violence, death, murder (JUDAS NO!)

Chapter Five

Chapter 4: Astarion

Auntie Ethel’s Tea house had been nothing short of a shit show.

Between the possessed fighters, mysterious exploding spores, and the museum of suffering- the groups morale was at an all time low.

The fight had been absolutely exhausting and Mayrina was not helping with her screeching the whole fight. Astarion had considered shooting an arrow at her cage and letting it fall into the abyss. Except, you kept his mind off of her plenty during the fight.

Astarion had stayed next to you in combat- you moved together to become a deadly duo. You both moved and dodged in the right ways so that the other person could move in close and keep the hag distracted. He enjoyed this little dance of yours and a part of him hopes that you’ll continue fighting this way together.

However, that is the least of his concerns right now. Astarion watches as Mayrina screams in horror as you resurrect her very deceased husband.

Astarion has to stifle a laugh as he looks at your face- your features twist into something resembling disgust and horror. Mayrina looks at you and you hold out the wand to her- dropping it gingerly in her hands. Mayrina walks away and leers at the party as she begins to storm off. You wave awkwardly.

“Uh, I hope you guys live a long life together,” you shout flatly.

“Darling,” Astarion pipes up, “I think that ship sailed a funeral ago.”

He hears you choke back a laugh as Mayrina shoots him a glare- he tries to suppress the victorious grin that threatens to consume his face.

Karlach’s belly laugh is contagious and Astarion can’t help but laugh along with her. You are trying so hard to keep a serious face while shamelessly giggling behind your hand. Gale, however, just pinches the bridge of his nose with an exasperated sigh. He spies Gale’s small smile as he takes in your laughter.

How oblivious, he smirks, Gale is quite smitten with you and you are not even aware of it.

Astarion takes the chance to wink at you. He watches as a nice shade of pink dusts your cheeks and the tips of your ears. He lets a seductive smirk pull at the corner of the lips as you look away from him and try to help Karlach gain her composure.

Gale glares at him as Astarion flashes a shit eating grin.

He noticed the wizard’s affections for you a few days ago when Gale had been showing off his magic. Gale had been looking at you like you put the moon in the sky. You, on the other hand, had been fidgeting and tripping over your words during the entirety of the interaction. At first Astarion thought you fancied Gale, but when he had brought it up to you- you had looked at him with horror.

“No, definitely not.”

“Oh? You were so nervous over there darling, I thought you were going to practically melt into the ground from his affections,” he teases, trying not to let the worry find its way in his voice.

If you have fallen for Gale- what the hells was he going to do? How would he be protected? Would all the time he has spent developing a rapport with you be for nothing?

An unfamiliar emotion wound tightly in his chest- he was also fighting the little voice in his head that screamed at the idea of your attention being on anyone else. He enjoys the time you give him and he didn’t want to lose that time to Gale of all people.

You sigh, “No, I’m not interested in Gale- I just…”

He stared at you expectantly as you continued to avoid his stare.

“Dahlia didn’t really allow me to have social relationships. She said it would just be a distraction. The only real relationship that I have had and can truly remember was with Tessa.”

“Who is Tessa?” He blurted out.

He had been dying to ask since the night of the fire, the night you had run through the woods after crying her name in your sleep.

You looked at him sadly, “Just someone I loved. We dated for a while. From the age of like 13 to 16 years old. Dahlia didn’t like it so she killed her. Let’s just leave it at that for now.”

“Astarion?”

He snaps out of his head as you look at him with your hand on your hip- a quizzical eyebrow raised. He regains his composure and nods as if to say that you have his attention. You roll your eyes before flashing him a grin. He feels his chest squeeze tightly.

“Alright, you guys can go up ahead, I wanted to check out something really quick.”

“Do you want me to go with you, Soldier?”

You shake your head, “No, it shouldn’t take too long, I just didn’t take enough time to look at the Hag’s lair is all.”

Karlach and Gale seem content with this answer, but Astarion can tell you aren’t being entirely forthcoming.

As you part ways, Astarion slowly walks behind Gale and Karlach- waiting for your silhouette to be out of sight.

He stops and waits until Gale and Karlach’s voices fade away before following you. He snuck in between the bushes and the trees- not wanting to alert you to his presence. He knows you are more than capable, but a part of him can’t shake the uneasiness that fills up his chest whenever you leave.

The smell hits his nose first- metallic and sickly sweet. He scowls as his face contorts in disgust. Despite his better judgment, he keeps slinking forward. Your scent begins to intermingle and guide him to the source of the smell. He hears you voice and…

A man’s voice?

“So what are you hunting? Something exciting perhaps? Unfortunately, my companions and I have already killed the Hag, but you are welcome to pretend it was you,” you say, your voice sweet and flirty.

You are standing in front of a man- a Gur of all creatures. A low growl threatens to escape his throat as he watches the man eat up your attention.

“Nothing so dramatic. I’m searching for a vampire spawn.”

Astarion feels his whole body tense- if he had any blood in his veins, it would have frozen immediately.

If you were affected by what the Gur said, you didn’t show it. The confidence and sweetness looks so genuine on you that if Astarion didn’t know you, he wouldn’t be able to tell you were a socially awkward mess.

“His name is Astarion, but I fear he’s gone to ground. I was going to ask the Hag for help…” he says before offering you a pleasant smile, “but I’m sure I’ll find an alternative..”

You return his smile with ease. Astarion can’t see the emotions in your eyes, but the worry inside his stomach is beginning to rise up into his throat.

“So if you find this ‘Astarion’,” you start slowly with a hint of interest in your voice, “what are you going to do? Kill him?”

Why are you even asking that?

“No, I have orders to take him back to Baldur’s Gate,” he pauses, searching your face.

Astarion couldn’t see your face very well, but obviously something had changed.

“You wouldn’t happen to know this Astarion would you?”

The man’s eyes narrow as you pretend to think, tapping your chin with your index finger. A wicked smile adorns your face.

“For the right price I might.”

Astarion feels sick.

Maybe he has been misreading the situation the whole time. Maybe you had been tricking him and not the other way around. You got him to trust you by feeding him, spending time with him- getting to know him. He thought he was playing Chess while you play checkers, but obviously he was wrong. Your plan will succeed. However, your plan led to his death, not his salvation.

Astarion slowly reaches for his dagger- ready to jump both you and the evil Gur.

He watches as the Gur huffs in annoyance before pulling the coin purse from his pocket. Astarion shifts forward on his feet.

“It’s not much, but I-”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence. One of your hidden blades is buried in his right eye while the other is going up through the softness of his lower jaw, up into his brain. Astarion’s hand slips away from his blade as he slowly stands up to get a better view. You had certainly skewered the man- that was for sure.

“No hard feelings,” you say as you pull the blades from the man’s head- as you push him backwards.

The monster Hunter stares up at you, choking in fear as his own blood pools around him.

“I do know who you are looking for. Unfortunately, that means you are a complication,” you cock your head to the side, “by the way, you probably shouldn’t give people the name of your mark. Kinda leaves you open to being killed, but I guess you know that now.”

The man is hissing at you, trying to speak and you just stare at him until he calms down again.

Your smile is beautiful and cold, “Any last words?”

The man attempts to crawl away while his hands frantically reach for his belt where his weapons are. You step on his arm and Astarion hears the bones crack. The man lets out a gurgling groan.

“Well that was a bad choiceeeee,” you say in a sing-song voice before you unceremoniously dump a bottle of poison down the man’s throat- as if to add more salt to the wound, you pat his forehead and give him a cruel smile.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon.”

Astarion didn’t realize he was standing up, blowing his own cover, but he is too stunned by your actions to care. You had killed a monster Hunter for him.

The man is writhing on the ground for only seconds before he goes completely still. You let out a heavy sigh before looting him as Astarion continues to watch.

He hears you silently cuss as you dive into the man’s pockets. He hears you muttering something about a contract. Exasperated, you turn around on your heels and are about to walk when you stop dead in your tracks. You and Astarion stare at each other. The silence hangs in the air.

Your eyes soften when the initial shock fades and you give him one of your infamous lopsided smiles.

“I guess that Wyvern Poison from Nettie really works,” you chuckle, “I’ll have to let her know after the whole tadpole thing is taken care of. I can’t imagine she would be pleased that I used it for something other than its intended purposes.”

He wants to speak. He can tell you are waiting- he can practically smell the anxiety rolling off of you. Why you were anxious was beyond him. Why would he be mad at you? You just saved him for Gods’ sake.

When you realize he isn’t going to speak, you clear your throat.

“Well, let’s start heading back.”

________________________________________________

The walk home had been quiet and fast. Astarion watches as you collect your night clothes and head to the river to clean up. He pretends to be interested in the book he is holding as he contemplates the events of today.

His head is swimming with questions, but the one that bothers him the most is why. He hasn’t slept with you- hells he has barely even scraped the surface of his plan and you had brutally murdered an (arguably) innocent man for him. Astarion’s understanding of Deathbringers, specifically the Night Masks, don’t work for free and yet you haven’t asked anything of him.

There has to be a catch.

Astarion’s eyes shoot up from his book as you come walking into camp with Karlach on your heels. Your laugh sounds like music to his ears as Karlach does a crude impression of Mayrina and her husband’s future bedroom activities.

“Do you think it’s all still there? What if it falls off in side of her?”

Leave it to Karlach to ask the serious questions.

“Gods- do we even want to know?” Gale yells from his spot at the fire.

“My money is on it falling off,” Shadowheart says.

Quickly, the whole group is around the campfire besides Astarion. Everyone eats dinner while Karlach is enthusiastically describing the battle with the hag and the unfortunate end result.

Eventually everyone retires to bed. He sits on the edge of his seat as he watches you bid a quick good night to Karlach. You walk to your bedroll around the fire and just take in the flames. The agitation flares in his belly- you haven’t even made an attempt to talk to him since you got back to camp.

Oh to hells with it.

He gets up from his spot outside his tent and saunters over to the fire pit.

“Hello darling,” he says with his most charming tone, “this seat taken?”

You offer him a small smile and shake your head no. You turn your attention back up to the night sky. You both sit in silence like that for a while- Astarion pretending to read his book and you happily letting the flames warm your hands. Until the question bubbles up in his throat and Astarion can’t take the quiet anymore.

“Why?” he whispers.

“What do you mean ‘why?’” confusion paints your face as you lean towards him.

Why did you protect me? Why didn’t you turn me in? Take the gold? Lead him to camp and let him drag me away?

“I never thought I’d render you, of all people, speechless,” you say with a wide grin.

He can’t help but return your smile. He feels his eyebrows furrow as you give him your full attention.

“Why didn’t you take the money and turn me in?”

“Why in the hells would I do that!?”

Astarion winces at the aggression in your voice.

“Oh wait- no I’m sorry! I’m not-” you pause and take a deep breath, “I’m not angry with you Astarion. I just didn’t think you had so little faith in me.”

Despite your playful tone, he can still hear the hurt underneath.

“It’s not you- I just… I’ve never had anyone protect me before without wanting something in return.”

The sudden sadness in your gaze makes him squirm uncomfortably. The way you look at him makes him think you are peering into his soul- watching his secrets bleed through the facade he wears.

“Astarion,” his name falls off your lips like a prayer, “I don’t need you to do anything for me to protect you.”

Astarion’s eyes widen as he looks at you- searching for ingenuity, the lie. He never finds it, but he does find himself studying the planes of your face. Gods, you are beautiful. He won’t deny himself that truth, but the warm feeling in his chest makes it difficult to speak.

That pink dust pops up on your cheeks again as you notice his gaze. You look a little panicked and that awkwardness begins to appear.

You frantically follow up your statement with, “and besides, I feel like we fight relatively well together and we need all the hands we can get.”

Necessity- now that makes sense.

“Thank you,” the words fall from his lips softly, “no one has ever protected me before without there being a cost.”

Your gaze never leaves his- it’s his turn to look away with discomfort.

He continues, “I’ve always had to look out for myself so- thank you.”

Not even the sun could hold a candle to the smile on your lips.

“Of course Astarion. Don’t ever worry about not being protected- as long as you are with me, your chances of surviving are relatively high,” you contemplate for a second, “well unless you keep hiding Lae’zel’s daggers all over the place. I’m not going to stop her from retaliating.”

He let’s the warmth he feels dance across his features as he guffaws at you. That was another thing he had come to appreciate about you- it didn’t need to always be so damn serious.

“Darling,” he gasps, “I would never do such a thing. That is far too hilarious and I am a man of class.”

You roll your eyes at him, “Ah so Gale’s stretching mat just grew legs and walked off too then?”

He scowls, “if anything, I did us all a favor. Those ungodly groans at sunrise are enough to make an entire brothel blush.”

“Hm, apparently you haven’t been to very good brothels if that’s the type of behavior that embarrasses them?”

“Oh and you have?”

“That’s beside the point.”

“Hardly.”

He chuckles at the defeated look on your face and you stick your tongue out at him before settling back into your spot.

Astarion allows the overwhelming sense of calmness wash over him as he opens his book again. He attempts to read the first paragraph of the first page, but he can feel your eyes boring into him.

“Yes Darling?”

“What is the book about?”

Well that was unexpected. The last thing he thought you would want to talk about was his reading materials. Honestly? He had no idea considering he had picked up the book initially to look busy. He flips the cover over- “The World According to Bumpo”. Of course he picked the dumbest book to pretend to be interested in.

“I just started, but when I finish- I’ll let you read it-“ he says, “provided you give it back to me.”

“Oh, no that’s okay. Maybe you could just tell me about it?”

Astarion’s curiosity gets the better of him, “not a fan of the finer arts?”

You look at your hands and begin to pick at your nails.

“No, I just don’t… don’t really know how to read.”

Astarion wants to be surprised, but from what little he knows about this ‘Dahlia’character, it doesn’t shock him. Vampires will find any way to have the upper hand and you are very close to being as powerful (if not more so) than any vampires he has met.

“Would you like to?”

“Like to what?”

“ Learn how to read or-“ he clears his throat, trying to hide his insecurity, “or I could read it to you if you want.”

You perk up from your spot and cup your ear towards him, “I am all ears!”

He feigns irritation before he begins reading aloud.

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[1:24 am]

(cw: reader and Yuta have both consumed alcohol, mentions of alcohol and weed, steamy scene while under the influence, i said fuck and dick)

You were a blur of white in front of Mark’s hazy eyesight, why did he feel like he had to do something about you? He wasn’t in charge of getting you to the party, he knew that. And there was no way any of the guys would let you go home in your drunk state, so it couldn’t be that. Plus, you always spent the night with Frat boy!Yuta anyway. Hmmm, it had something to do with Yuta too but Mark couldn’t be bothered to remember as his song came on and he ran to the dance floor, abandoning the smoking circle.

From the other end of the room Haechan catches sight of you and Yuta heading upstairs just as he throws his head back for a shot, he couldn’t even remember how many he had at that point, but he did have a sneaking feeling he had to do something with Yuta. Whatever, someone had just suggested beer pong and Haechan never lost at beer pong. Yuta could wait. 

You sighed dreamily, head pressed into the plush pillows on Yuta’s bed paired with the searing kisses he was pressing down your throat, “Nu Chi throws the best parties.”

“We’re about to fuck and you’re thinking about the party? I literally have my hands inches away from your underwear right now,” Yuta deadpanned, albeit his words were slightly slurred.

“You’re not just about to fuck me, you know I like to kiss a little,” you smiled, tangling your fingers in the hairs at the nape of his neck before you finally yanked him toward you and pressed your mouth to his own.

From downstairs Johnny had just gotten a feeling in the pit of his stomach that his stupid, very, very stupid, younger frat brothers were doing something they weren’t supposed to. He caught Taeyong’s eye and he knew they had both gotten the same feeling.

Johnny had managed to carry Haechan off the beer pong table and wrangle him outside so the fresh air and the cold bottle of water in his hand could sober him up, while Taeyong was dragging Mark, who was fighting very hard to go back because “Man, they never play my boy Drake at these parties. Please, bro?” Which was a total lie, Drake was played at every party.

The two youngsters were sat in the grass avoiding the gaze of their president and vice president. “You guys were supposed to keep an eye on them! You know how they get,” Taeyong started.

“Now we have to search the whole house to make sure they haven’t advanced to fucking like rabbits!” Johnny pinched the bridge of his nose, “We made it easy and assigned one of them to each of you. God, we made sure they didn’t interact for the whole party, your only jobs were to make sure they never left anywhere together.”

Haechan slurred angrily, “Maybe you should have been in charge if it’s such a problem then.”

“Stop talking before you make him more mad, let’s get inside and find them before they do something they regret,” Taeyong instructed.

While they searched the house from bottom to top, separating random couples attached at the mouth, pounded on bathroom doors, and even looked under tables-yes, they had caught you and Yuta making out there once- you two were busy upstairs. It was an unfortunate habit that happened anytime with you or Yuta had a single drop of alcohol. You two would sneak away if you had the decency and make out as if no one would ever find you. They all thought it was funny at first seeing you two practically swallowing each other in a karaoke bar after some beers, but after years it became an issue of losing the two of you and having to apologize to police officers on more than one occasion. Taeyong and Johnny had known you both the longest and knew what could happen so they started interfering when they could, assigning you babysitter spies in the form of younger frat brothers. Which usually didn’t work out, like tonight, with the presence of alcohol and weed as a temptation at the end of a long school week.

You were both shirtless now, you were sat on his lap, hands tangled in his hair while his fingers were quickly working at the button on your jeans. You were trying so hard to not grind down on him to make it easier for him to get your pants off while you were otherwise occupied. 

You both pulled away to breathe just as the button had become unclasped, “finally.”

You smiled excitedly, rolling over to pull your pants down your legs, pausing when the rush of alcohol made you feel dizzy. When you felt steady again you laid back down on the bed, allowing Yuta to hover over you while his fingers lightly teased at the band of your underwear, “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this baby.” This would be the first time your drunken make out sessions advanced past just making out, Yuta was a ball of nervous excitement with a hint of arousal.

You smiled, pressing feather light kisses against his bare shoulder, “You expect me to believe that the hottest frat boy of Nu Chi doesn’t have someone to keep his bed warm every other night?”

Yuta stopped his movements, “No, you’re it for me. There is no one else for me in out school, in our city, country, or even the whole world. It’s just you, baby.”

You were lost in the intensity of his gaze as the door flung open to reveal an out of breath Johnny and wide-eyed Taeyong. “God, every fucking time! Why didn’t we check here first?” Johnny wondered aloud, grabbing the clothes off the floor.

Taeyong handed you both water, while Johnny pulled your respective shirts over your heads. “You guys know you aren’t allowed to sneak off together. Brother’s rooms are off limits to those not in the frat before the party is over,” Taeyong paused eyeing you, “and you both aren’t aloud to wander off and risk a charge of public indecency. We don’t want you to end up doing something either of you regret.”

“I’d never regret Yuta,” you hummed, snuggling into the pillows and letting your sudden exhaustion pull you to sleep.

“Because you never remember the next day,” Johnny mumbled under his breath before turning his attention to Yuta, “Bro, why do you always do this? The next day you’re the only one who remembers confessing your love or kissing or whatever you do when you sneak away and then you get hurt. You do this every time, and every time we tell you to confess when you’re both sober and you never do. You practically had your dick out this time bro, c’mon just confess!”

“I get scared,” Yuta replies, uncharacteristically shy. His gaze was locked on your form knocked out on his bed. He liked you- hell he might even love you. He loved being with you, having you in his bed, kissing you, even the nights that you forgot he found himself loving, little stolen moments in time just for him to remember. 

“Dude it’s your best friend! You both end up making out and ending the night in the same bed every single time you drink, you’re telling me you don’t think the feelings are mutual? For having made the Dean’s list the last two years, you are pretty fucking dumb,” Johnny chuckled.

“I’ll confess tomorrow,” Yuta sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.

Taeyong smiles as they leave the room, “We’ll hold you to it.”

Now, where did they leave Mark and Haechan?

a/n: i actually love (????) how this one turned out!!!

[genderlesssinner]

Bells hells Episode 110! Ooookay

Oh. Oh no. Samuel. Why

Oh it's worse. Oh boy. Kitten!Dani loving on Marisha is precious though, and I believe Sam's kids as well? Adorable but terrible

(I missed Marisha's ad bc internet panic)

Ooohhh I want all of the novelllssss aaaaahhh

Okay okay let's gooo

That Raven Queen lore drop last ep thoooo

Black and white and red all over 😂

Fair point Liev'tel, fair point

Makes sense. Dorian saw Opal in the Hell Catch, I wonder if Aimee will make an appearance at some point

What would graffiti in Vasselheim even look like?

I do think there would be some panic or something if that memory had already been broadcast though

"For the hell of it" MATTHEW

KIKIIIII SHES GETTING THE GANG BACK TOGETHER I AM EXCITED

SAMUEL I SAW THAT FACE. I wonder where the little bastard is though

Ooooohh good idea (I think?) Ash

Bells hells gonna go vibe with the Ashari??? Fuck yeah let's go yall.

I wonder what the Ashari in general would think of the titan shard holders, and Fearne being all fiery in general (wildfire druid)

I mean valid Dorian, yall have talked to 3 gods and gotten 3 very different answers. But yeah she's also my favorite but the Wildmother comes close

Man. No matter how this goes the leylines are fucked up something major. Magical storms?? Yikes

Oh no, hopefully Ludinus is not catching on to Liliana

Xandis!!!! Oh man I didn't even recognize who they were at first

🤣

Keybane?? Oooo Kiki gave them a title, sweet

I just live the way Xandis speaks it's so fun

"it sounds like a euphemism. It isn't."

Awwwuuhh Xandis remembered Letters 🥺

"Smiley day to you too" 😭

It makes sense to want opinions from all sides of the board, Fearnie, but yeah no Betrayers in the city. I would definitely be curious to see what Asmodeus or any of the others would say, after what he said to Braius last time

Also very interested with Braius wanting to go to the Platinum Dragon, instead of Asmodeus

Ashton is making some good points though I only kind of agree about the nature of the Betrayers and stuff.

Oh boy, Orym is right though. I mean, this isn't the time to leave things unsaid either

(looking at you, Orym,,, Dorian,,,)

You can be optimistic but also realistic - Hope we win (whatever the fuck that even means) and also know that this could be the end of you or your friends

"no I'll drag you it'll be fun" guuuuuyyyysssss

I was so expecting Sam to not have the fucking spell and just neigh at the damn horse 🤣

Oh well shit okay yeah he's probably like a celestial not a beast huh

They sent spies to the moon. I wonder who

Oh boy the Hells will be traveling with the Nein for a bit? That should be interesting

I'm so worried about Orym. Well, all of them, but especially him. He's keeping so much to himself and I know first hand how bad that can be.

Chet. I cannot. He has a little bit of a point but like. Don't be such a greedy little shit.

Ooooohh let's get Fearnie to talk to Cerkonos yesss

Travis is being such a little shit

Oooo Doriiiaaaaaan

Okay Robbie,,, oh my god

I love shopping trips for the little peeks we get into the day to day of the place

I'm not sure if I like the vibes I'm getting from this guy. It's amusing he's just sus af and that's before we knew he had forgery stuff

More whispersss damn yall

Oh no guys no don't fuck with the fusaka

I can't

That totally wasn't his shop they convinced me

Awwwww Dorian that's so sweet. He's so selfless

I love him so much

Hmm I wonder if they're gonna learn anything from the titan. Interesting

Break! I have a Duoling lesson to do, lol see yall after!

[languajix]

Cabin 14 Beach Day RP

Cabin 14 RPed the beginning of their collaboration project with Cabin 15 for the beach sports day event! Then we fic-ified it a little for readability.

As morning broke across the campground of the Fandom Family Reunion, whatever passed for the sun began to rise and paint everything golden and glowing, warming the scales of the turtle known amongst his cabin as Uncle Mike. He had just been on an early morning walkabout, popping in to say hi to a few friends he'd made thus far while his nephews napped in their little bedside nest.

As he approached the front door, he noticed a flyer stuck to it. Interesting. He tugged the loose piece of paper off as he scanned the contents, rocking on his heels and growing more excited by the second, then burst through the door and brandished it in the air with a grin.

"Hope everybody packed their swim trunks and snorkels! Looks like we've got a beach sports day!"

Spirit POV

Everyone on both floors of Cabin Fourteen were bustling through their usual morning routines. While his brother Mika brushed his teeth in the bathroom, Spirit sat on the edge of their bunk, swinging his legs, watching everybody do their thing. ICE Donnie was blinking himself awake from his pillow pile, rubbing his eyes with a groan. Uncle Mike's baby turtle nephews were making little sleepy peeps as well.

Through the gaps in the second floor railing, Spirit could see Scout and Scav leaning towards each other, deep in some sort of conversation that had morphed into nonsense noise by the time it filtered down to him. On the other side, Angelo had his back to the cabin, arm raised, glowing a little like he was doing some sort of magic.

Out of the corner of his eye, Spirit even thought he might have caught a glimpse of one of their special ops cabinmates moving past a window. Maybe. They were really hard to spot unless they wanted to be seen.

Then Uncle Mike burst in with an announcement! The next event was going to be...

“Beach?!” Spirit squeaked in excitement, he’d never been to the beach nor had he ever had a beach-related experience in the past, but there was a first for everything!

Uncle Mike raised the flyer in the air as though it would help prove his point in any way, wrinkled and folded over on itself as it was. "Yep! I've been by the lake before, and there is, in fact, a beach! Sand, something that I am pretty sure might be water if you squint... looks like it's going to be a fun day! I might see if my almost-brother Don wants to watch the kids; maybe they can build sandcastles or something."

Don. Spirit remembered Uncle Mike coming back to the cabin in the past couple of weeks with some stories to tell, saying he'd met a younger version of his brother - the Donatello who was in another dimension. The Donatello that Uncle Mike had met at the camp was apparently double mutated, or something - big, with lots of teeth, and Uncle Mike couldn't understand him through the growls, but as with most things, that didn't stop Uncle Mike from talking and trying to make friends.

Uncle Mike hopped towards his duffel bag at the foot of his bed, rummaging around in it for a second, and then humming happily while pulling something out: a strip of red fabric with two eyeholes.

He leaned in towards everybody currently in the cabin. Then he leaned back, looked around as though wary of spies or sneaky listeners-in, and finally leaned back towards his cabinmates. "...okay, everybody in here is going to see through my disguise faster than Clark Kent's glasses, so I'm letting you in on a little... secret. Me and a buddy of mine who is equally as handsome and fond of the color orange - we might actually be twins from another ooze - are gonna be causing some chaos. This guy has lots of great ideas, honestly, and I can't wait. We are cooking, as the youth say.

...But! Since this is a Raph-themed event, it's only appropriate for a Raph to be the one doing it. And if at the end of it all, they can't pin it on me because they think my brother - who is conveniently not here - was behind it all? Well then, that would be just too bad, wouldn't it?"

He dangled the red mask in front of them with a very devious grin and a wink. "I can trust you guys not to tell, right? Keep my secret identity?"

It took a second for Spirit to grasp what Uncle Mike was saying before it finally clicked and he let out a gasp and clapped his hands with a cheeky smile, “your secret is safe with me, Uncle Raphy!”

"I knew I could count on you, Spirit," Uncle Mike Uncle Raphy said, deepening his voice and doing a funny accent. "You make me - your red, buff, grumpy-on-the-outside-but-soft-on-the-inside uncle Raph who has been here the entire time - very proud. And if the best most awesome uncle Mike was here in the room with us, I'm sure he'd say the same."

With that, Uncle Mike pulled his own mask off over his head and worked at wrapping the red one around his eyes, doing up the knot with his singular hand. He started to frown and flex his arm muscles a little. Was this how Uncle Mike's Raph acted? Frowny and kind of silly, with a deep voice and an accent?

The cabin door swung open again, a little more controlled, this time, and Raphael and Cerulean made their way inside, boxes and boxes in hand. "Hey guys! We brought breakfast!" Raphael grinned, brandishing the towering stack in his arms.

"And news," Cerulean chimed in. "We met a few of our cabin neighbours people over at the mess hall. They're planning a capture the flag event and were wondering if we want to join."

Uncle Mike, er, Uncle Raphy coughed, as though the fake voice was kind of rough on his vocal cords. "As an experienced Raph of many years, capture the flag sounds right up my alley. I'm in." 

From the far wall where he was rifling through a cupboard, Marco frowned and looked down at Cerulean. “Sounds like a battle, I’m in. Let’s make sure our buddies on the roof are informed. I would be surprised if they are not spying on us now. I’ll bring one of my brothers with me.”

"First things first, we brought some rolls, some toast, some boxes of cereals..." Raph walked over to the kitchen and plopped his stack of boxes down on the counter, flipping the lids, pulling out the steaming contents of the baked goods and setting them out on the table plate by plate. It all looked so good that Spirit wished, not for the first time and definitely not for the last, that he could eat. Raph gestured over the spread. "Take your pick, guys."

"Good idea. We can strategise during breakfast." Cerulean pulled out a kettle to make some tea. He reached into his pocket for his phone, quickly typing a message before sending it.

Marco hummed in thought. "...well, is mystic powers a rule? If it isn’t, then I’ll take my Leo with me."

"Not sure. We didn't want to set anything in stone before we get everyone's agreement," Cerulean clarified as he slid his phone back in his pocket.

Marco smiled, his sharp teeth peeking out just slightly, giving it a menacing edge that sent a thrill down Spirit's spine. “Heh, for once I’m excited for one of these lame events.” Knowing Marco as he had for these past few weeks, Spirit could tell he was planning to scare the crap out of the other camp members.

“Wait are we playing capture the flag or going on a mission?” Spirit inquired as he drifted closer to the kitchen. He thought this was going to be a family friendly game; was he wrong?

Hunter POV

Hunter and the rest of their family followed Navy down from their little corner upstairs as the smell of fresh food wafted up through the kitchen and slowly filled the cabin. His big brother quickly whispered to them to feed themselves, and gave a quiet thank you awkwardly to the air, as none of them knew who brought the food.

As they sat down to eat, the conversation started flowing again over their heads, and Hunter could tell the moment Navy caught the mention of a game, perking up. “Oh, I'm sure it'd be great to do more socializing with other cabins! You know, since we've really not gone out and done much, and-”

“I don't know if a game of capture the flag would be good for ‘socialization’, big guy,” Hunter butted in, taking a bite out of the toast he had grabbed. He continued talking with a full mouth. “It's sort of, like, a competition.”

Navy clapped his fins together. “Well, uh, we can make it a friendly competition!”

How optimistic. “With those guys?” Hunter gestured with a thumb in Marco and Cerulean's general direction. “Good luck.”

"...Well you're certainly perceptive, aren't you?"

A figure shifted into view from behind Marco. He tipped his goggles up from the bridge of his beak to settle above his orange mask, right-eye seemingly brighter than usual. Once completely exposed, his palms found place in the 'empty' holster pockets hanging from his hips.

"Due to current circumstances, I will be the sole participant amongst my unit. I do hope that's not a problem."

It was one of those sneaky guys from the roof. The orange one. Mikhail. Hunter hadn't had much of a chance to get to know them all, personally, because they were always off doing some sneaky thing or another, but he was in tune enough with his instincts that he could usually smell or hear when they passed by. There were some things you just couldn't hide. Not from him.

Marco raised a brow. "Mhm, fair enough. I would rather not lose to a bunch of kids, so let’s not lose, okay?"

"Then perhaps we should call everyone for a quick meeting, yes? To figure out who would be joining the event." Cerulean drummed his fingers on the counter he was currently leaning against.

Marco nodded. “Hm, yes. I already have my pick. Not that you already hate him or anything, hence that’s why he’s tagging along.”

“Oh, fantastic.” Hunter rolled his eyes. “This will absolutely contribute to a great team environment.”

“We will be discussing the nitty gritty of the game with Cabin 15. We probably should make our way there after breakfast. For the meantime, tea?” Cerulean pulled out a couple of mugs.

Spirit turned to Mika, who was peacefully chewing on some cereal. “Are they planning a murder or a game?” He asked. Mika just air tapped his head and continued to eat. “Don’t worry about it,” was all he said.

Marco slightly raised his hand. “I’ll take a tea, if you don’t mind.”

“Before we go, I assume everyone here wants to win?” Cerulean poured a cup and placed it in front of Marco with a decisive thunk, eyeing him and Mikhael. “Any suggestions on how we ensure that?” His tone was light but his eyes said otherwise.

“There he goes again,” Raphael mumbled, chewing on his toast. He nudged the glass Navy was reaching for towards him.

Navy took the glass offered to him, taking a sip. "You know, I feel like I should be a little more worried about the people I'm surrounded by."

Hunter squinted at his brother. "You didn't get that idea when I told you one of them pulled a gun on somebody?"

Looking up from his bowl of ramen, ICE raised his only hand, "...following that subject, are weapons allowed?"

“Possibly, although I doubt permanent maiming would be allowed.” Cerulean tapped his chin thoughtfully.

Hunter scoffed at ICE. "I don't know if you should participate, shrimp." He stuffed the rest of his toast in his mouth, talking as he chewed. "Have you looked at yourself lately?"

ICE glared at him darkly, slamming his hand on the table and pushing himself to his feet, leaning towards Hunter as his chair scraped on the floor. "I would suggest you take that back. I know where you sleep."

Hunter huffed through his nose, crossing his arms across his plastron. "Cute."

Cerulean sighed. “Save the animosity for the other team, please. “

ICE hesitated, then sat back down, crossing his arm over his plastron. "Yeah Hunter, listen to the cabin leader," he said with a smug grin.

Cerulean raised his eyebrow but didn’t refuse the statement.

Hunter squinted his eyes and rolled them, but settled on just growling deeply and continuing to eat. It wouldn't be worth it to compete with someone that stubborn. Navy looked over at ICE with genuine worry in his eyes, and mouthed 'I'm sorry.'

ICE smiled innocently back, and whispered "Its alright, I'll let it slide."

Marco took the cup and swished the liquid around. “'Ensuring victory.' It’s hard to solidify a plan against enemies we don’t know. ...well, so-so we know. For now, we know that it’s consisted of versions of all of you. Every weakness that is yours could be theirs-“

Cerulean hummed, “true. The lack of information is unfortunate. My brothers and I had only minimal interactions with them and the information we had is lackluster. Does anyone here have longer interactions with the other cabin?”

While the two of them bounced ideas, Uncle Mike sighed, looking over at his nephews, currently curled up together on the bed. "I guess Don is probably gonna sit this game out, so I'll see about dropping the kids off with him. As a Raph, I can't let down our cabin by missing out on the action. It wouldn't be very Raphlike of me, y'know."

“Raph? I thought you were Uncle Mike?” Raphael bit the spoon he held in his mouth.

Uncle Mike gasped dramatically, holding his hand against his plastron. "You think I could be that amazing, spectacular brother of mine whomst've I love so much but rarely tell him outright except in life or death situations? Ha!"

Hunter was still struggling to get a proper read on Mike. He trusted the older turtle, for the most part. He hadn't done anything to not deserve that trust. He'd actually done more than anyone else in the cabin to gain Hunter's trust. There was just something so strange about thinking that Mike was supposed to be a version of Scout, his youngest brother. And the fact that, supposedly, Mike had three brothers in his own world, one of which was meant to be a version of Hunter himself. A turtle who he was currently trying to impersonate...

Mike glanced around for listeners in, then pulled up the very edge of his red mask and whispered out of the corner of his mouth to Raphael: "It's a secret identity. I am about to commit many crimes and they're never gonna pin them on me. As long as everyone here can keep my secret, at least." He winked and straightened back up.

Oh boy.

Maybe he really was a Scout.

Raphael blinked once, twice, before grinning in understanding. “Okay then, Uncle Raph. Oh, this is going to be weird,” he mumbled.

Hunter folded up another peice of toast to swallow whole. "It wasn't already weird?"

ICE POV

Tap tap tap, FE!Donnie skipped over to the breakfast table, breaking the tension by adding his own. "Sorry to intrude, buuut, I have some things prepared for the event!!” He smiled as he slipped what looked to be small pink balls in Marco's direction.

Knowing how the True Colors guys felt about most of the Fear's Embrace crew, ICE glanced at Cerulean, who looked like he was trying hard not to roll his eyes.

"I made smoke bombs too! We can throw them off!" FE!Donnie smiled ear to ear as he dropped a bag right in the center of the table. Awesome!!

Hunter put his head heavily in one hand. "No, you were right. It's gonna be weird."

ICE grinned and waved his hand to get FE!Donnie's attention. "Now that's my kind of guy! I'll take extras." He'd take them all!

Out of the corner of his eye, ICE just barely noticed Mikhail retreating into a corner to observe from afar. The cool special ops guy raised a hand to cover his mouth as he observed in silence.

FE!Donnie grinned as he waved to Mikhail. “Hey buddy! Want some smoke bombs? Can’t win without teamworrkkkkk!!!”

Mikhail quirked a brow, not giving the eccentric Donnie an answer as of yet.

“You’re just in time, Donnie, care for some toast?” Cerulean smiled, motioning at the spread before them.

”Oooooo! Sure!” FE!Donnie wiped some dust from his face, reaching for a slice.

“If we’re going for the win then what about placing traps around our flag so it’s harder for the other team to get it?” Spirit suggested, tapping his chin thoughtfully.

Marco nodded, leaning forward. ”...Good idea, we could split up into groups, one that defends the flag and the others attack.”

“Some hidden mines would work.” A voice sounded from the door - Captain, leaning on the doorframe with Angelo smiling on his side.

"Jeez, how freaky are you guys?" Hunter looked around at all of the schemers, and ICE could feel his judgement from across the table. "Like, can I get a freak meter?" He gestured up and down with a flat hand. "Like how freaky are you being today?"

"Freaky enough to explode our opponents; they wanted a competition... we’ll give them one.” Marco smiled slightly, showing off his sharp teeth before taking a sip of tea. He was brutal. ICE could appreciate that.

“I want a pitfall trap! Team rocket style!” Spirit voiced.

“I heard we’re having a competition?” Angelo bounced on his heels. “Something about beating our opponents? I’m in!”

"Oh boy, they're gettin' the kid into it..." Hunter covered his eyes and groaned slightly.

“I like how you think. I have some pitfalls, too, back in the base. Put some spikes in there and it’ll take care of some of the incompetent intruders.” Captain gave a respectful nod to Spirit.

Spirit's eyes grew wide, and he returned Captain's nod with a thumbs up, looking a mix of nervous and excited.

“Nope!” Mika jumped up, flailing his arms around. “Let’s try to keep this as PG as we can, please?!” 

Spirit pouted, “you’re no fun...” ICE nodded in agreement. PG was for wimps. He'd seen worse his whole life, really.

“Maybe something a bit nonlethal, hmm? Perhaps some of those sleeping agents we saw in action that night?” Cerulean prompted Mikhail with a raised brow.

“Or we can just knock em out with something,” Angelo shrugged.

"...I could stun them. You wanted to see my power, right? I’ll have at 'em..."

“Oh yesyesyes yes please!” Spirit cheered at Marco’s offer.

Mikhail tilted his head. "Chemical warfare is Don's field and he's tapped out at the moment. But really, any form of incapacitation is preferred. Pretty sure it's going to have to be a layered process though to make sure they stay down and can't use their abilities out of panic or the like. Relying on a single point asset to take care of targets is never ideal."

Mikhail waved his hand lazily in the air.

"...Something something 'single point failure'."

“Making sure they stay down is pretty important, maybe I could make something…” Captain mumbled.

“Ooh ooh! You could use those tiny robots of yours with a dose of tranquilizers!”

Tranquilizers! ICE perked up more. The more bloodthirsty his cabin got, the more exciting things were.

Captain’s eyes widened. “Angelo, you’re a genius!” He began to pace, “we can set a designated time after we knocked them out so the robots can inject more tranquilizers to keep them down.”

"Combine that with something that can stunt power-use and that should cover everything worth major consideration," Mikhail said.

Marco chuckled. "...Nice to see some teamwork, but let’s make sure we have some fun and, most importantly, let’s not lose, fellas!"

Uncle Mike (wait, he was going by Uncle Raph today, right?) nodded approvingly. "No turtle left behind."

Marco looked out the window in the direction of the mess hall. ”I can go to the meeting point to go stalk the competition; I’ll send information to Chip so he can pass it on to you all. Anyone want to come with?” He turned to give Cerulean a pointed glance.

Cerulean seemed to consider it for a moment, before stepping forward, looking determined. Flipping over to mission mode, or something. "That might be a good idea. Do you need stealth or conversation?"

"Conversation, I'd rather not give them a reason to get their guard up." Marco rubbed his face, sighing, as though he wasn't looking forward to it.

Cerulean placed his hand on his plastron and smiled. “Then may I accompany you?” He glanced at Captain, “and perhaps... Chip, was it? Could send the information back to you.”

Captain’s frown deepened before he finally nodded. “Suit yourself.”

Marco stood up and looked down at Cerulean, clicking his goggles on. "...alright, kid, keep your guard up but not to the point it’s noticeable. Let’s go.” The antennas bounced as he walks over to the door.

Uncle, uh, Raph? blinked, taking a bite of toast. "Glad they didn't ask me," he murmured to Mika and ICE, out of earshot of Marco and the True Colors guys. "Don's my bro, and Mikenstein is my not-twin, y'know, and I probably know some stuff, but I don't wanna let down anybody. Them or us. So I'm not getting in the middle of this. Yet, anyways."

Captain POV

Chip floated over to Captain, whirring in a way that almost came off as nervous. It wasn't unwarranted, Captain was still a little bit interested in dissecting him, but that could wait. The mission was more important.

A hologram appeared in front of Captain, showing video footage from Marco’s goggles. “Here you go, sir!!” Chip chirped. “Hi again! Sorry for trying to disassemble you that time,” Angelo smiled. He prodded Captain's arm with his elbow. An encouragement.

“I’m not going to apologize. It started it,” Captain mumbled, walking to the table and turning so everyone could see the screen. Everyone present leaned in, interested in whatever their team members were about to discover at the meeting point.

Sitting down, Captain tapped his headgear, starting a new file to store the recording.

“You are lucky my sir made me work with you." The digital eye frowned. “But you do have access to some parts of the system! Of course, Marco implemented a kiddy firewall..." 

Chip turned to Angelo, then. “I accept your apology, at least SOMEONE HAS MANNERS!"

Captain’s fingers twitched in annoyance, but he brushed it off. There would be a chance to take revenge later. He ignored the babbling robot and focused on the recording.

Meanwhile, Angelo grinned. “Very cute! Kinda like-“ Apparently remembering their agreement to keep SHELLDON’s intelligence on the down low, he changed the subject. “I really like those markings you have,” he leaned over Captain's shoulder to point to Chip.

“Hm? Thank you! The ones on my rings are symbols, for a recipe! Kinda like a reminder!”

On the side of the hologram, the screen also displayed a file system. At a glance, Captain could see they were all locked. One of the locked files was a video labeled as 'The Incident.' Fascinating.

“Oooh what kind of recipe?” Angelo leaned on the back of Captain’s chair to get a closer look.

Captain stayed quiet, eyes scanning the files along with the camera recording.

“...Well, uhm." Chip whirred, appearing to process a thought before deciding to be open with them. “Are you aware of the substance Empyrean?”

Empyrean? Captain had gotten some good images of Chip in their earlier encounter, but he turned to make sure the 'recipe' was properly recorded just in case, as subtly as possible.

“Hmm? Of course! That’s what made us after all.” Captain glanced back to see Angelo had started to float, kicking his feet up behind him.

"Well it’s also used for Marco’s medicine, it’s what makes him kinda tired all the time and cranky - he wasn’t always like 'this.'"

Angelo’s open and playful expression immediately shuttered off. His feet hits the floor. “You know that can be dangerous right? He’s risking double mutation every time he uses it.” He crossed his arms. “Where do you even get that much empyrean? The council should’ve been keeping an eye on it.”

"Since the Kraang has plagued most of our world, it’s not too difficult to find. Mainly from a large crashed Kraang ship that’s not far from our base."

Angelo blinked. “Oh. Yeah the whole living in an apocalypse thing.” He leaned back, “Still. That’s very dangerous. I would hate to think what would happen if something went wrong. Experimenting with Empyrean is…” Captain could feel the way Angelo shuddered beside him, “dangerous, to say the least.”

"...it’s difficult when your resources are limited. Sometimes we don’t have a choice. So sorry - we got a little off topic..."

“So are we heading out to the mess hall, or cabin? And are we going now or later?” Spirit asked.

“We are currently researching our competitors. Marco and Cerulean will give us the go whenever they are ready.”

FE Donnie laughed. "Ehehe! For a robot designed by Marco, you really like to spill secrets. BUUUT luckily, spilling secrets are fun when they’re Marco’s!"

Angelo brushed past Captain as he pulled away, and Captain glanced out of the corner of his eye to watch him make his way to Raphael's chair and rest his chin on his head. Raphael patted his arm in comfort.

On the holographic iPad, a pop up message of a thumbs up showed from Marco. “Oh! It would seem he is signaling for the rest of us!” Chip said, hovering over the holographic iPad. FE!Donnie jumped up from where he had decided to flop down on the floor. “It’s game time, fellas! Let’s show ‘em! Make sure you don’t alarm them with any of our plans!! Any questions?” he stood there with his arms behind his back for a moment, barely waiting for a response before chiming in, “Good no questions! I’ll see you there!!”

He ran off playfully. “Yippe, game time!” Spirit cheered. He tugged insistently at Mika’s band tails. Mika quickly finished the rest of his cereal and got up from his seat to appease his ghostly brother.

“You have to play in my stead Mika!” Spirit pointed at him like a general giving orders, and Mika saluted at his brother. 

“The opposing team will know no peace.” Spirit nodded upon hearing confirmation and smiled. “Now let’s hurry! I wanna meet the other cabin members!” Mikhail pushed his self off the wall and popped his fingers, already heading out. Captain heard him chuckle in amusement at everyone's excitement. Mike gathered up his nibbles and followed behind. Navy herded his brothers to go along with the group, Scout skipping along in front. ICE followed along behind Navy, still in the process of putting on his eyeliner.

Captain felt the buzzing of his own 'go' signal from Cerulean and stood up. He glanced at his brothers who no doubt also felt it, and tilted his head towards the door.

"I guess we're going now," Raphael stood up, making Angelo, who was still clinging to his neck, rise up with him.

Angelo climbed and sat himself on Raph's shoulder, ducking along when Raph passed the kitchen doorway so as to not hit his head.

Time to see what the other cabin had in store.

-

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

Hold Every Memory by @languajix

Ghost of the Past by @wandering-ghost

Second Shot by @twignotstick

Fear's Embrace by @karonkar

True Colors by @v-albion

It's a Complicated Equation by @leilanising

Covert AU by @chessman-protocol