#i am NOT letting anyone die bro

[beadelmare]

so how does one script out everyone's deaths without changing the entire course of the plotline

[kaipassedgo]

every day i wake up and am mad at the end of steves storyline and the full and complete lack of people who GET IT

[kavehayati]

Man I just give up.

[astonmartinii]

reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader

you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.

based on this request: Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others

yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life

view all comments

user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me

user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge

landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"

user3: that's so real though

yourusername: thank you!

landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow

yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?

landonorris: ???

yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?

landonorris: i guess...

yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before

landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone

yourusername: so you'll consider ?

landonorris: fine...

user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy

user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW

oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?

yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?

oscarpiastri: touche

maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually

yourusername: ???

landonorris: ???

user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭

user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?

user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)

view all comments

user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love

user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off

yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD

landonorris: they're not my children

yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them

landonorris: you spent my money on them yes

yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up

user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history

user12: who would willingly sign up for that

user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n

maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?

yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store

maxverstappen1: perf

yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families

landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy

maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?

landonorris: nO

yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!

landonorris: i have an interested candidate

yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?

landonorris: nope!

user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak

user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win

f1wagupdates

liked by user18, user19 and 11,043 others

tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55

f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.

view all comments

user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT

user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend

user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD

user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭

user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(

user25: this has mess written all over it

user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt

user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?

user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end

user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?

user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos

user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags

user32: i hope y/n is prepared

user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others

carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl

view all comments

user34: well that's not y/n

user35: that finished faster than i expected

user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job

landonorris: call me bro

carlossainz55: si, cabron

user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call

user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?

user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be

user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?

user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯‍♂️

user42: AHHHH???

maxverstappen1: oh that's not-

yourusername: you're so chronically online :(

maxverstappen1: you're alive?

yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in

maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?

carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?

yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here

maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.

carlossainz55: i'm so confused

user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?

user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 56,309 others

yourusername: certified boy hater

view all comments

user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you

landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn

yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement

landonorris: carlos is attractive?

yourusername: he ghosted me?

carlossainz55: i am right here

yourusername: blocked.

landonorris: did you actually just block him?

yourusername: yes 😀 !

landonorris: god this is a nightmare

yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT

landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section

user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment

user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿

maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here

yourusername: of course not pookie

oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?

yourusername: no?

oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue

yourusername: no, i don't think i will

oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE

maxverstappen1: what oscar said

user49: oscar and max are so real

user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others

landonorris: some snaps from '23

view all comments

user51: have we just been thirst trapped?

user52: i don't think it was intended for us

user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it

yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.

landonorris: i came second in singapore.

yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?

landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n

yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position

landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.

yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her

landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?

yourusername: maybe.

user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses

user55: don't get my hopes up

danielricciardo: i hope this works lol

landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?

danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think

landonorris: i'm not sexy :(

danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.

user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful

liked by yourusername

user57: I SAW THAT 📸

user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point

oscarpiastri: noted.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.

view all comments

user61: LET'S FUCKING GO

user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.

user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE

maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time

yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM

maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful

yourusername: it was painful for me too

maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS

yourusername: one date! ONE!

maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?

yourusername: fine.

carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE

maxverstappen1: lol

yourusername: lol

user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n

landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨

user65: OOP.

landonorris: i love you doofus

yourusername: i love you too muppet

landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?

yourusername: it got to over £300

landonorris: ours was £750

yourusername: are we dumb?

landonorris: no!

oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other

yourusername: LEAVE US BE

landonorris: oscar :(

user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.

view all comments

user67: MY BABIES

user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them

oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos

user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?

oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend

landonorris: OSCAR!

oscarpiastri: am i wrong?

landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end

oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track

user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me

maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!

landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries

yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs

maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment

yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?

landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO

maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?

yourusername: nope!

landonorris: nope!

maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both

yourusername: thank you max !!

landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock

yourusername: get that bag sis

landonorris: ???

yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)

landonorris: yes we do :) xx

user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute

fin.

note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X

[coolshadowtwins]

PT1

PT2

PT4

“I think this has gone on long enough.” Wei Qingwei cut in, letting Shang Qinghua fall silent. The A Ding Peak lord looked grateful, taking big breaths to get his footing back.

“Oh, you can’t be embarrassed,” Qi Qingqi said, amused. “You barely had any secrets to begin with. Not like Mu-Shidi over there, with his… experiments.”

Mu Qingfang slid lower in his seat, face red and trying to hide in his collar. Shang Qinghua had blabbed about many things.

“How does he know all that?” A random peak lord, who had been put on blast for three minutes straight, said bitterly.

“A lot of spying.” The imposter said, amused. He was fanning himself, like he had just been watching a show. Shen Jiu and Yue Qingyuan, next to him, were no longer in this conversation. Instead they were whispering angering to each other. Well, Shen Jiu was whispering angrily. Yue Qingyuan wasn’t really matching his energy.

“And who are you then?” Qi Qingqi asked.

“Ah… the nice Shen Qingqiu that you’ve all gotten to know and love over the past few years?” He said awkwardly, and then laughed even more awkwardly when no one said anything to that. “My name is Shen Yuan. I just accidentally took Jiu-Ge over. I swear I didn’t mean to do it. But I am here now, and you are stuck with me.”

“Bold move bro.” Shang Qinghua muttered. Everyone ignored him.

“You can’t go home?” Liu Qingge asked, looking at him intently.

“I might have… died, to get here.” The imposter, Shen Yuan?, said hesitantly.

“You died?!” Mu Qingfang asked, alarmed. He sat up straight, previous embarrassment forgotten as he looked him over, as if to find hidden injuries. “How did you die?!”

“I was… poisoned?”

“Someone poisoned you?” Liu Qingge asked intently, suddenly looking like he was about to go fight whatever poisoned him.

“….no.” He said slowly. He reached for a fan, only to find that he had none. His fan was with Shen Jiu, as the rightful owner. See this, Liu Qingge slid a fan over to him, like the ever fateful Shidi he was! Now with his face covered, he continued, embarrassed. “I might have poisoned myself?”

“You killed yourself?” Shen Jiu, checking back into the conversation, asked. On anyone else, it might have sounded like alarm. Yue Qingyuan, and a lot of the peak lords, also looked alarmed, most likely thinking about his depressed mood that everyone claimed he had over the last two years. Shen Yusn shook his head quickly.

“No! Nothing like that! I just ate some bad food!”

Silence. Then-

“You died from food poisoning?” Mu Qingfang muttered in disbelief. “That explains a lot actually.”

“Mu-Shidi, what does that mean?!”

[unfinishedslurs]

eddie's flat ass (steddie)

Dustin whips around as soon as they’re alone. “Steve!”

“I’m Eddie.”

“No, I mean you and Steve. You like him.”

“Of course I like him, Henderson,” Eddie says flatly, pressing a little harder on the gas in hopes of getting to Dustin’s house before he admits something he regrets. “We’re friends. Best buds. A couple of dudes being bros.”

“You’re full of shit,” Dustin says. “I’m not stupid. I saw that. I wish I hadn’t, but I saw it. You’re, like, stupidly into him. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie mutters. His street can’t come soon enough. 

Dustin pushes through. “When are you gonna ask him out?”

“Uh, never?”

“What?!”

“Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies,” Eddie rolls his eyes. “Nothings going to happen, Henderson. Yeah, I’ve got a stupid fucking crush on your babysitter, it doesn’t mean that Steve’s interested in me. He likes girls, Dustin, did you miss that part in the dossier? He thinks we’re a couple of straight guys horsing around, if he found out I was flirting with him I could be thrown into Hunt the Freak 2: the thrilling sequel.”

Dustin’s mouth snaps shut, and he laughs nervously. “Right,” he agrees. “He likes girls. But, uh, hypothetically, if he was into guys…”

They roll to a stop sign, and Eddie turns away from the road to tell the little shit off. But Dustin’s fidgeting, staring steadfast at the road and refusing to meet his eye. 

“You know something,” he realizes. 

“Uh…”

Eddie’s about to shake it out of him. “You’re hiding something, you little shit. What is it? Tell me.”

“I’m not,” he squeaks. 

“Bull-shit you aren’t. What is it? Is it about Steve?” Eddie pales. “Shit, does he know about me?”

“Well…”

“What the hell?!”

“I didn’t tell him!” Dustin yelps. “If you didn’t want him to know, maybe you shouldn’t have been so obvious!”

“Check your tone,” he snaps, hand shaking as he pulls on his hair. “Shit, shit, shit, okay, it’s fine, I just need to flee the country—“

“Why?”

Eddie is this close to throttling the kid. “What do you mean why?”

“Why is this such a big deal?”

“It could get me killed!” He shouts, banging a hand against the steering wheel. “He could—he could fucking tell somebody, and—“

“He wouldn’t do that!”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know that? You think someone’s a good guy until you’re interested in them, and then it’s all ‘You’re fucking disgusting,’ or ‘Freak,’ or ‘Don’t touch me, you fa—‘“

“Stop!” Dustin shouts, white knuckling the armrest. “Eddie, stop. He’s not going to tell anyone. It’s gonna be okay. It’s fine.”

“It’s not.”

“It’s fine,” Dustin stresses. “Steve doesn’t care if you’re gay. He definitely doesn’t mind you flirting with him.”

“You don’t know that,” Eddie says. 

“Yeah I do.”

“How?”

There’s that deer in headlights look again. Then Dustin takes a deep breath, and his expression turns guilty. 

“I know you’re not supposed to tell people this,” he says, “but you’re freaking out really bad and I’m, like, 99% sure Steve thinks you already know.”

“Steve thinks I know what?”

Dustin tells him. 

Two hours later, he’s still laying on the floor in the trailer, looking up at the ceiling. 

Bisexual. Steve Harrington, the man Eddie’s always hailed as the patron saint of heterosexuality, likes men. 

Might like Eddie. 

“Are you flirting with me?” Eddie blurts out, and immediately tries to bolt. 

He runs face first into a wall and ends up on the ground, wishing the demobats had just killed him. 

Steve appears in his line of vision, standing over his sprawled body. Eddie is treated to a wonderful view, eyes moving from his long, athletic legs to his crotch to his chest and broad shoulders, and finally reaches his face. His very amused face. 

Eddie’s entire body lights on fire. 

“What the hell was that?” Steve asks, laughing. 

“Uh…”

“Wile E Coyote over here. Seriously, man, that was some Loony Toons shit. I’m embarrassed for you.”

“Oh my God, shut up,” he groans. “Just let me die.”

“No way in hell. Sorry, Munson, I put too much work into saving your flat ass to throw it away like that.” Steve grins, holding a hand out for Eddie to take. He ignores it, rolling over so Steve can’t see how red his face is. 

“My ass isn’t flat,” he mumbles into the carpet. 

“Oh, it is,” Steve says cheerfully, nudging said ass with his foot, because he’s a bastard. Eddie doesn’t know why he likes him so much. Everything he does is catastrophically bad for his continued survival. “It’s cute though. I like it.”

“Henderson said, uh, that you were…umm…maybeflirtingwithme?” Eddie finishes in a rush. 

“What?”

Steve’s face is open, automatically tilting his right ear towards Eddie. Eddie doesn’t know if he’s aware that’s something he does. Robin says it’s because of all the concussions, his left ear just isn’t what it used to be. 

Eddie sags, unable to lie to his wide-eyed confusion. “Dustin said you're flirting with me.”

Steve stares at him. 

Eddie fidgets under his incredulous gaze, growing more anxious by the minute. Oh God, Dustin was wrong. Dustin was wrong about everything. Steve probably doesn’t even actually like boys, Jesus. The whole thing is obviously a bust. Eddie needs to cut and run, maybe make some bullshit excuse about his uncle needing him home even though Steve knows Wayne’s working right now—

“You needed Henderson to tell you that?”

[genderqueeradrien]

imagine the miraculous ladybug world tumblr dash when ppl find out who hawkmoth is

7 notes

pariscitizen Follow

BRO I JUST FOUND OUT HAWKMOTH IS FUCKING. GABRIEL AGRESTE???? THE FASHION DESIGNER???????

pariscitizen Follow

is the reason he never left his house cuz he was busy akumatizing people lmfaooo 😭

2,427 notes

baguettecroissant Follow

bruh i literally JUST bought an alliance too

9 notes

chatnoir Follow

what do you mean hawkmoth is my fucking father this shit SUCKS

chatnoir Follow

WRONG ACCOUNT

31,226 notes

chatnoir Follow

stop sending me asks i was born in a wet cardboard box all alone and youre scaring me

23,984 notes

ladybug Follow

i am not paid nearly enough .

16,049 notes

gays4jaggedstone Follow

can i finally come clean and say i fucking hate the entire gabriel brand 💀

79 notes

hawkmothsimp Follow

Does anyone else think hawkmoth is kinda...

adrienagreste Follow

HELLO ??? #HUH? WHAT?

39,104 notes

alyatheladyblogger Follow

Yes we are aware of the situation we are waiting for further details before commenting. please be patient ❤️ #i'm going to have a heart attack and die from stress #I LITERALLY HAVE AN ESSAY DUE TOMORROW.... FUCK 😭

2,395 notes

adrienagreste Follow

been getting really into taylor swift recently. big fan of speak now (2010)

baguettecroissant Follow

don't you have other shit to be addressing

adrienagreste Follow

addressing? if you mean the stuff with your mom i think you mean UNdressing cuz that's what ive been doing to her in bed YOOOOOOOO

djnino Follow

GET EM 💯

1,835 notes

marinettedupaincheng Follow

everyone be nice to adrien or i'm blowing this whole fucking website up

89 notes

eiffeltowerluvr Follow

it's only 10am and i feel like i've been awake for weeks what the hell is going on today

379 notes

felix Follow

adrienagreste Follow

WHAT???

felix Follow

you werent supposed to see this. this was private between me and my 12,794 followers

1,592 notes

duvinetdescigarettes Follow

Can we go back to the thing where chat noir might be adrien agreste the fashion model . what the fuck ?

ladybug Follow

let's ignore that for now 🙂

[drysdalesworld]

completely serious

jamie drysdale x fem!hughes!reader

ik the third pic is him wearing a ducks jersey but there’s nothing really of him in flyers gear that fit what i was looking for, so let’s just pretend <3

series masterlist

y/n.hughes just posted!

liked by trevorzegras, jackhughes, and more

y/n.hughes: to a new era baby! hope philly treats you well 🧡🧡 (please take care of him flyers or i will violently cry)

tagged: jamie.drysdale, philadelphiaflyers

( loading comments ! )

trevorzegras: i too will violently cry

lhughes_06: so this is where you took your impromptu trip to

y/n.hughes: & what about it

userone: still can’t believe it tbh 😭

yourbestie: she very much will! philadelphiaflyers

yourroommate: she cried upon hearing the news

philadelphiaflyers: we will take great care of jamie! do not worry 🧡

philadelphiaflyers: we will make sure to water him daily & make sure he gets enough sunlight 🫡

usertwo: stopp!! the way they are describing him as a house plant 😂 i cant

mfrost16: we’ll take him out on walks too!

userthree: now he’s a dog 😭😭

userfour: i mean he did bark his first game with the flyers userthree

jackhughes: i will not be picking up the pieces if she starts to violently sob

lhughes_06: you never do

_quinnhughes: i do that

_quinnhughes: when have you ever done that bro

jackhughes: i feel attacked rn

userfive: the way the flyers flew BOTH y/n & jamie’s parents out for his first game 😭😭 warms my heart

usersix: they did?

userfive: yep! during his post game interview, someone asked if the flyers flew anyone else out for jamie & he said that he wouldn’t play if they didn’t fly y/n out as well! (jokingly of course)

usersix: that’s so freaking cute 😖

jamie.drysdale: i was completely serious userfive

philadelphiaflyers: he, in fact, was completely serious userfive

userseven: UGH GOALS 💞💞

usereight: they’ll treat him well y/n!

jamie.drysdale: i’ll miss you so much love 🤍 i’ll have the flyers fly you out whenever (& if not, then i will)

y/n.hughes: i’ll miss you more!! im so so proud of you & can’t wait to see the amazing things you’ll accomplish in philly ❤️❤️

philadelphiaflyers: y/n’s apart of the team already! we’ll fly her out whenever you want jim! just say the word ✈️✈️

y/n.hughes just posted!

liked by luca.fantilli, masonmctavish23, and more

y/n.hughes: jamie photo dump during these trying & sad times

tagged: jamie.drysdale

( loading comments ! )

trevorzegras: the fifth picture is evil y/n. why you got to do my boy like that? (please send it to me asap)

y/n.hughes: check your messages babes 😚

trevorzegras: bless girl hughes 🙏🙏

userone: another shoe tying pic!!!

lhughes_06: uhhh, why am i not tagged in the sixth pic?? i so graciously taught your bf how to wake board & this is the thanks i get??

y/n.hughes: thank you so much luke for teaching my boyfriend how to wake board & almost kill him in the process 😑

lhughes_06: i am an amazing teacher! he did not almost die

jackhughes: dude, you almost broke his nose when you both went down after YOU jumped on him

lhughes_06: i do not recall such a thing

jamie.drysdale: i will let the fifth picture slide just this once bc i miss & love you so much 🥰 (also, almost died in the last pic 💀)

jackhughes: SEE!! lhughes_06

lhughes_06: 🎶 i cant see i’m blinnndddd🎶👨‍🦯

y/n.hughes: love & miss you more 🤍🫶🏼

_quinnhughes: the lake house that summer will forever be burned into my brain

usertwo: in a good way? 😀

userthree: THE FUCKING ‘I ❤️ MY GIRLFRIEND’ TSHIRT 😫😫😫😫😫

yourroommate: i specifically remember the first pic like it was yesterday

userfour: babes spill! what happened!!

yourroommate: y/n was not having a good week so jamie flew out for the weekend & showed up with flowers & wearing that exact shirt userfour

yourbestie: he said, and i quote, “i saw this shirt on tiktok & though you’d like it” & y/n proceeded to cry :) userfour yourroommate

y/n.hughes: why am i and my bf being exposed in this comment thread?? 🙃

userfive: WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE GOLF PIC 😫😫

y/n.hughes just posted to their story!

caption: from #6 to #9, here’s to new beginnings! jamie.drysdale

[zettaireido-emotion]

Camus character analysis: games VS anime

If you finished the Uta no Prince-sama anime and your opinion of this man is "wow, he's kinda terrible," I don't blame you. in fact I've seen a lot of people say this

In this post, I want to talk about his characterization in the games and give my two cents on what the anime was trying to do with him, especially in his single focus episode Saintly Territory (S3E6).

Disclaimer: I wrote this on a whim because I'm sick and stuck at home so if anyone reads this, sorry I might go all over the place

Spoilers for all of the games!

The "be my slave" thing

Starting with Anime Camus's most egregious crime: treating Haruka like a servant/slave (however you want to translate it)

Basically in his focus episode, Haruka is tasked with writing a song for Camus. She wants to learn more about him in order to write it, but Camus will only let her follow him if she acts as his servant. She accepts without complaining, Cecil is rightfully angry, Haruka continues anyway and the song gets completed.

Now, am I about to say that Game Camus would never do this? No because he literally does lmao.

The anime doesn't pull this "servant" plotline out of nowhere, here's the context in his route:

Haruka accidentally overhears Camus talking about a plot to assassinate Saotome on the phone. When he notices that she heard everything, he basically tells her that he has to kill her now. But if she served him, he'd be able to keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn't leak anything, so she could escape death.

Okay uh "work under me or DIE" isn't exactly better, nor is it a good start to a love story, but I'm not finished!!

(A side note: I have to add that the anime made him look like an even bigger asshole and borderline dumb when it came to the things he made her do. Like he expected her to know that snapping your fingers means you want coffee without prior explanation. bro

^This might have been for comedic effect but I promise he can be actually funny and endearing.)

What the anime couldn't cover

The Camus episode wraps up with Haruka pulling through and writing a song that makes Camus "sincere," he says it's cool at the very end and that's the episode. I think the problem is that we technically didn't see him being sincere or what that even means to him, besides when he was singing (banger song btw)

It's a shame because in a 20-minute episode you really can't show the game experience of slowly piecing together what this man's problem is.

First of all, in Debut and AS you'll be quick to notice that he always has homeland and duty on the mind, constantly reminding himself that he's in Shining Agency/Japan for a reason, and it's NOT to have fun or make friends

The truth is, he slowly starts to appreciate the banter with his colleagues, music, and working there in general.

But because of his initial mindset, he has to rationalize & justify every connection he forms, like "it's just for work" or worse: "actually it was ALL A LIE and I NEVER ENJOYED A SECOND OF THE TIME WE SPENT TOGETHER, I'm such a great actor haha"

He uses that to fool himself and to push the other person away so it doesn't happen again. This scene is probably the best example:

(I'll be using google lens because it's faster but I checked that the tls were okay)

He also does this in the Non-Fiction drama, which may or may not have actually happened, but I think it's still a pretty good reflection of what could happen in reality because he tells Ranmaru their bond was a lie, then mopes around in his guilt thinking about the good times and wondering why he's sad, and THEN later doubles down on the "it was a lie, I don't care about you" because he just can't let himself get attached to anything.

Basically, he's terrified at the thought of forming actual bonds because he genuinely thinks he's nothing if he stops being a cold weapon:

At one point he does admit he sucks (as a love interest)-

-which is pretty huge by utapri standards. I love these games, but the amount of times where a male lead does something icky, and everyone, including Haruka, acts like it's normal or like it's Haruka's fault is ehhh but I digress

Upbringing

Of course he's very proud of his homeland and status, but sometimes it's to the point of thinking he can't be anything other than his title. So why is he like this?

We got to hear about his childhood from Camus himself a few times, and it often ended with Haruka thinking "wait? that's kinda messed up?" and Camus insisting it's nothing/it's normal so yeah that's something...

His parents were in an unhappy arranged marriage, and his mother was forced to birth an heir which traumatized her so much that she can't see Camus without falling ill. Overall it's a pretty tragic situation since what happened to her was horrible, though not Camus's fault either. Even now she refuses to see him, and I wouldn't say that makes him sad because he never really met her, but simply knowing of her sacrifice probably adds a lot of pressure. As in, he only exists for this one purpose (inheriting his father's title and serving the country), so if he doesn't play his part correctly, it would have all been for nothing.

He was raised by his father not as a child or son but as the heir, always treated and judged as an adult (even during physical training apparently, make of that what you will)

When Haruka asks about childhood memories he has a very hard time finding something that doesn't have to do with his duties or the nation. And then admits he didn't truly have a "childhood" since he was never treated like a child

As for the queen, I think his love for her is sincere: she taught him a lot of things growing up, and according to him, she's also a victim trapped by her duties so he wants to ease the burden.

So hypothetically, if he found things or people that made him happy in Japan, he would feel obligated to lock them away because that happiness is incompatible with his life: he'll have to leave when his mission ends, he shouldn't be spending time on things that aren't "useful" as he doesn't have the free will to pursue them

In his mind he's completely tied down by the fact that he was born and raised for a single reason, and the fact that he does want to serve the queen.

(This is Saotome describing him btw)

Also it might sound ridiculous to bring his self-worth into question because of how pretentious he is, but I've counted a few situations where he seemed to have complete disregard for his own life, only worrying about Haruka and Cecil's safety in scenes when they were present. And he thinks wanting to be loved unconditionally is a childish thought he shouldn't have.

"Double Face" was a lie. There's like at least 10 layers

On the surface he does have two personas, his perfect polite butler act for the media, and his cold bitchy attitude off camera. But honestly, even when he's not acting as a butler, he's often putting up a front to hide any form of vulnerability (from himself as well)

His main struggle is finding who he is outside of what he's being told to do. Before, he never actually stopped to think about what he WANTS because it just never occurs to him, or if it does he ignores it.

That's why realizing that he has his own desires is essential to his character development, and him staying with Quartet Night (and Haruka in his routes) is so important. It's why Reiji feels the need to reach out and when he does, Camus either freezes up or tears up;

This all makes him the opposite of Ranmaru (being true to yourself and sincere), and similar to Ai (gradually learning to view the world in a less cold and logical way), but I kind of want to save that for another post lmao

He is especially hard on Cecil because Cecil says & does whatever he wants, and everything still works out for him, which is a way of life that Camus can't imagine for himself at all (despite maybe wanting it?)

That he can realize this and eventually admit out loud, despite all his pride, is also one of my favorite things about him

Season 2 does hint at something, so that's pretty cool!

Side note, I really love that his theme in the new Oracle series is "Change," the melting of ice.

So what was the anime supposed to do??

Of course there's no way to show all this in a single episode or even during the runtime of the anime, and I never expected them to because the story is very surface-level (that goes for all characters).

It's just unfortunate since the anime is the most accessible and well-known utapri media in the western fandom, and the character's main episode is bound to leave the biggest impression.

I understand the choice of being laser-focused on the servant plotline, it's supposed to be funny (?) and waters him down to a trope that's easy to understand at first glance (the step-on-me guy I guess)

Still, I can't help but compare it to Ranmaru's episode, who was also hard to work with in the games but was chill in S3E7 and got to pet cats. Anime onlys will never know how much Camus loves to dote on his dog smh.....

[a-d-nox]

tarot hypothesis: major arcana and squid game player numbers

paid reading options: astrology menu & cartomancy menu

enjoy my work? help me continue creating by tipping on ko-fi or paypal. your support keeps the magic alive!

067 (0+6+7 = 13 -> death)

has a very transformative experience while playing the games especially when playing marbles. unfortunate for her, she has an unforgettable death moment where she's dying from her internal wounds only for 218 to "unexpectedly" kill her before she could succumb to the wound. like the mourners in the card, 456 is so devastated by her death that it changes his outlook on the final game.

218 (2+1+8 = 11 -> justice)

is the first person to mention the voting process to leave the game on the show. also kindly let ali borrow money and his phone... despite the final rounds, he began the games with a level of fairness kept in mind.

101 (1+0+1 = 2 -> high priestess)

perfect definition of reversed high priestess energy, he shows time and time again that his is disconnected from his own intuition - he doesn't know who to trust outside or even inside the games. he also relies too heavily on others when it comes down to it...

456 (4+5+6 = 15 -> devil)

gi-hun is like the terminator he just keeps coming back for more - but seriously homeslice literally comes back to the worst place he has ever been and where he has faced his own addiction with games... also he tends to make the same mistakes over and over like trusting people he thinks he knows...

333 (3+3+3 = 9 -> hermit)

myung-gi is a cryptocurrency influencer... its virgo male coded... but also i would like to predict him dying in darkness or being alone in some fashion during the final season's games. if not that then, i believe 222 is going to leave him in the dust.

388 (3+8+8 = 19 -> sun)

tell me dae-ho doesn't have hella youngful energy? also of naivety??? the sun is explorer so either he is a VIP or he could escape (by mere luck)... OR, which i think is most likely, he will end up being somewhere he shouldn't be and be killed for it.

246 (2+4+6 = 12 -> hanged man)

martyr coded... we just knew he was gonna die... and it's a horribly sad story because his sick daughter is all alone now...

120 (1+2+0 = 3 -> empress)

GET IT GET IT GET IT!!! i am sorry WHAT that is so on the nose. a trans woman as the empress is crazy spot on. i love it!! i saw that and was like *GASP*!!! also *gasp* because its park sung-hoon

007 (0+0+7 = 7 -> chariot)

oof more reversal energy... that man hesitated so hard when it came to getting his mother in my opinion and he hesitated when voting too... not to mention the lack of impulse control that he has...

149 (1+4+9 = 14 -> temperance)

i have seen a lot of people saying that she is a VIP and i disagree especially if this matrix numerology is still spot in s3. she is definitely a "friend" and not a foe.

390 (3+9+0 = 12 -> hanged man)

another martyr coded person. he was set up so the audience would love him and feel like he was a good person only for him to get swept away by someone who he just knew too much about.

222 (2+2+2 = 6 -> lovers)

bro please hear me out... front man's wife died carrying their baby - what if his empathy and projection of his history on to her is what ends up saving her life?? he did make a few comments (no i don't think he just has human decency lol) about taking it easy and to be careful because she is pregnant...

044 (0+4+4 = 8 -> strength)

when i was watching the show i was like i don't see it - i get moon (18) energy vibes but not strength (8) then she had her mini meltdown and i was like there it is... there is the vulnerability under that mask of "faith" in fate.

125 (1+2+5 = 8 -> strength)

then on the other hand... this is an extremely vulnerable character with zero back bone seriously reversed energy...

230 (2+3+0 = 5 -> heirophant)

thanos - tell me that man's ritual was not popping a pill and getting out there in the game.

001 (0+0+1 = 1 -> magician)

OBVIOUSLY no one can trust anyone what equals 1. its a duh moment (even in the 8 show - which i may do next if this does well) - the magician is a creator when upright and a manipulator when reversed...

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© a-d-nox 2025 all rights reserved

[drenched-in-sunlight]

very opionated talk underneath the cut

this is what I get for keeping checking out the fandom tag, but oh well 😭

seeing the reasoning behind the “Marika and Godfrey would have been proud of Godrick for the grafting” take is so wild to me like… are we just going to ignore the fact that Nepheli - who is implied to be Godfrey’s descendants, said Godrick’s deeds “taint the very wind” and helped us beat his ass and it’s her who later becomes the rightful Lord of Stormveil ?

+ Roderika, who is thematically a reflection of the girl Marika was pre-Godhood, losing all her companions and being left alone scared shitless and heartbroken in a shack, blaming herself for not being strong enough, brave enough to go die with her friends, all because Godrick is making a mockery of Godfrey’s name and enacting the same tragedy that befell Marika’s people ?

Like, I can sorta see why people refuse to see the Living Jars in the Lands Between as Marika reclaiming a practice that was tainted by the Hornsent deeds, returning it into something done to honor the dead and let them be returned to the Erdtree to continue the cycle of life - death - rebirth (is scattering ashes of the deceased to the sea not a thing in many irl cultures anymore or am I going crazy), cuz if one has certain…views on her, it can be hard to see anything she does in a positive light (actually even if you don’t see it that way, equating jar innards made of dead warriors in a ritual to honour them with living ppl being cut up and forced to meld together as a form of torture is… a choice), but to completely ignore Nepheli and Roderika’s stories and their role in the narrative? 💀

Plus, where in the game is it even stated or implied that Godfrey being a battlefield maniac means he is ok with *read writing on hands* some guy sending his lackeys out to hunt Tarnished (Godfrey’s own warriors) and making them into unwilling extra limbs?

The guy that gives his all to fight the player by himself and compliments us on a battle well fought… will see honour in gaining strength via kidnapping ppl and stealing their strength, instead of fighting your own battles, honing your own skills and getting stronger on your own? Huh?

And even ignoring all that, Kenneth - a mere nobleman, not even demigod or anything, fr called Godrick a “jumped up country bumpkin” who fleed from Leyndell, holed up in Stormveil to hide from Radahn (why are we forgetting this…bro can’t even pass the Godfrey’s no.1 Stan vibe check) and then got beaten up by Malenia?

To add insult to injury, Godwyn’s body lying beneath Stormveil will literally stab anyone coming close to him (which is sth I have an interesting conversation with ppl on twitter about. there’s one person bringing up an interesting interpretation that Godrick probably took off with a relic of Godwyn’s body hoping to graft a piece of the Golden Prince onto himself, but Godwyn body was like “no” and infested the castle ground like a disapproving ghost 😭 but Godwyn is cool with us because he knows we have Marika’s sanction 😊).

Godrick… has no support whatsoever from Marika and Godfrey’s direct descendants, other than maybeeee Morgot who probably was only there to keep an eye on Stormveil - a place of importance to his dad and maybeeee a bit family pity for Godrick, definitely not because he’s proud of the stuffs Godrick is doing (he astral project there to scare us a bit then leave. We gonna kill Godrick? None of his business.).

And there’s also Godefroy who literally got locked up in a gaol… by a Leyndell Knight who later got the highest honour of Erdtree Burial after he passed away - specifically because of his feat in capturing Godefroy. Why are we forgetting Kristoff???

No one in Leyndell likes the Grafted guys, no one in Limgrave likes the Grafted guys, there are numerous items in-game expressing disappointment and sadness at the decline of the Golden Linage…. it’s a real damn no one likes you situation 😭

Then later on, Godrick got replaced by Nepheli.

So who are the ones being proud here ????

I’m not even a Godrick hater, I think he’s a fucked up, but compelling!, conclusion to the linage that Marika has with Godfrey - who is probably one of few people who actually knows what she used to go through.

I could even see the kind of pressure and struggle he must have gone through, humiliation after humiliation, hiding from and losing to Radagon’s children of all guys, carrying a legacy that is too big for him to handle. But to say that Marika and Godfrey would have been proud of him? Or that grafting is somehow a reclamation of the trauma Marika’s people went through and turning it into strength ????? He doesn’t even know that Marika was once not a God, let alone anything about her people’s suffering to reclaim anything ? That’s not his pain to reclaim ???

Someone else already did that. Marika herself. Rakshasa herself. You really do not have to give a man all the flowers for something women (who actually suffered and went through that trauma) already did.

[thevoidstaredback]

Danny: Dick! There's a monster under my bed and it's really ugly

Tim: Honestly, fuck you

Oracle: Time for Plan G

Batman: Don't you mean Plan B?

Oracle: No, we tried Plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over Plan C due to technical difficulties

Nightwing: What about Plan D?

Oracle: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago

Agent A: What about Plan E?

Oracle: I'm hoping we don't have to use it; Phantom dies in Plan E

Robin: I like Plan E

Danny, texting Tim: Tim! HELP! I'm being kidnapped!

Dick: Where are you?

Danny: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help!

Tim: I'll call Dick

Dick, answering his phone: Y'ello?

Tim: Where's Danny? He texted me that he was getting kidnapped

Dick: Danny? What do you mean? He's right here next to-

Dick:

Dick: I'll call you back *hangs up*

Dick: MY NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!

Danny: WHO ARE YOU?!?!

Robin: How do Batman and Nightwing usually get out of these messes?

Oracle: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out

Babs: You can trust me! Let's not forget who pull you out of the river when you were twelve!

Dick: Let's not forget who pushed me in!

Robin: How are we supposed to defeat Captain Boomerang?

Tutelary: I'm not supposed to have ideas; I'm the hot one

Robin: I'm pretty sure I'm the hot one

Dick: Without you, Danny, we're just three idiots who live together

Tim: You make us a family, Danny

Danny: Well, I'm like the cool rebel sibling, of course

Babs: No, you're the mom

Dick & Tim: Yeah, definitely the mom

Babs: Look, Danny, if you come back to us, I'll let you clean my room

Danny: Deal

Dick: Look! Here's my award for most rules broken!

Danny: That's not an award; That's just a really angry letter from Bruce

Dick, hanging it up on the wall: Well, it has the word 'most' in it so I'm calling it an award

Babs: I have seven empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them

Danny: Put spaghetti in 'em

Babs: I am currently taking suggestions from anyone but you

Tim: Put spaghetti in 'em

Babs: I am currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two

Dick: Put spaghetti in 'em

Babs: I am no longer taking suggestions

Tutelary: You need to drink water

Nightwing: No

Tutelary: The last guy who didn't drink water when I suggested died

Nightwing: Oh, my god!

Tutelary: In a plane crash

Nightwing: That sounds unrelated

Tutelary: I'm the one who crashed it. Don't disobey me

Danny, aggressively throwing water bottles: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

Tim: Uh...what's up with him?

Babs: He's trying to yell mental health and well-being into us

Danny: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU

Dick, sniffling: It's working

Robin: How come when I have fun it's considered wrong?

Batman: People die when you have fun

Wally: I like your dress

Dick: Thanks; it was 50% off

Wally: I'd like it 100% off

Dick: The store can't just give out free stuff

Wally: That's not what I-

Dick: That's a horrible what to run a business, Wally

Dick: I have decided that I am, in fact, a snack. People are just not hungry

Wally, under his breath: I'm starving

Tim: Why are you smiling?

Dick: What? Can't I just be happy?

Danny: Bruce tripped and fell in the parking lot

Dick: I can't find it... I can't find it!

Babs: What did you loose?

Dick: I can't find it! I can't find my happiness!

Babs: What do you-

Tim: He means he can't find Danny

Danny: So... I see you've been spending a lot of time with Kon recently

Tim: No, Danny, it's not what it looks like, I swear!

Danny: Oh, really? No reason for me to be jealous?

Tim: No! You're the only one for me

Danny: Is that so?

Tim: I promise! Kon and I are just dating, okay? He's my partner

Danny: So there are no best-friend-feelings involved?

Tim: You are still my one and only best friend! He's just the love of my life, nothing more!

Danny: But I'm still the platonic love of your life, right?

Tim: Of course, bro!

Danny: Bro...

Kon: What the-

[thepepsislvt]

so like SEE THE VISION also hi robin

so like backpacking for Dante on his motorcycle and him driving like an absolute maniac bc bro doesn’t have a license and then him making fun of us for holding on for dear life even though he likes it 🤭

you could do any dante but my hearts telling me 3

I totally didn't specify any Dante but just know that Dante 3 was in mind. I love that old man even though he is dumb asf 💔

I hope they can find a cure to his kind

Dante x Backpacking gn reader

Warnings: Dante, Dante's driving, Slight innuendos but nothing to nsfw

Manic and reckless are two of many words describing Dante’s driving. Or just Dante himself. His lifestyle was all just reckless. He drove around on his motorcycle like he owned the place or didn’t have a license. In his mind, the first part was true; in everyone’s mind, the second half was true. It was truly a wonder how he hadn’t killed anyone yet. He has injured himself multiple times riding around but never his backpack. And you sure as hell weren’t going to be the first.

You clung onto his waist tightly from behind as he wanted to go for a joy ride with you. You made a mental note to decline to ride with Dante and go with Lady the next time. When Dante hit a particularly deep pothole in the road, it sent you both airborne and off the motorcycle by a couple of inches causing you to scream. Dante chuckled at your scream and decided to rev his bike loudly and go even faster.

“Dante! Slow down! I am not dying to your stupid ass driving!” You would yell over his shoulder for him to hear through the wind and his helmet which he kindly let you wear. 

He sighed and decided to slow down,  looking for a place to park. Dante suddenly got an idea and now the city wasn’t such a great place to park anymore. With another rev to his bike, the two of you started going faster once more. Before you can scold him once more, he hits a curb sending the two of you off the road. The dirt and rocks underneath the tires of his bike made for a really uncomfortable and bumpy ride. 

There was one instance where you thought Dante was going to hit a deer but right at the last second, he made a sharp turn to avoid the poor animal. The sharp turn almost caused you to fall off his motorcycle. Dante had luckily grabbed your arm with one of his hands, keeping you hanging onto him.

Finally, the rough ride was over. Dante finally made a halt on top of a hill outside of the city. But in normal Dante fashion, he gripped the breaks making the stop abrupt. He kicked his kickstand and tilted his beloved Cavaliere to sit on the stand. Dante threw one leg over the bike to be able to turn his body towards you. 

“Dante I swear to Sparda” You had started to say, sliding off the bike to land on your back into the tall grass below your feet. “You need to start driving better or you will be on your little rides alone.”

“Awe did somebody not have fun? And here I thought I was a pretty good driver. You wound me” Dante gave a fake hurt voice paired with his stupid little pouty face that you love so much.

You gave him a groan loud enough to hear through the helmet you had yet to take off, too busy trying to keep your heart in your chest with how much it was beating. Dante stood up from sitting to stretch his muscles. Dante then fell to lay on top of you.

“Baby c’mon, you didn’t die. You’re safe and in the arms of your skilled driver and totally awesome boyfriend” The white-haired man said, wrapping his arms around you to trap you in his hold and tapping his head against your helmet. 

Dante then moved one of his hands to click the side of your helmet causing the visor to flip up, revealing your eyes glaring right at him. He raised an eyebrow and attempted to move the visor back down to avoid your gaze. 

“You’re no fun. As much as I love it when you’re mad at me, I can’t stand seeing your eyes burning a hole in my sense of humor.” 

With that, you tilted your head away and started wiggling your arms out of his grasp. Once you were mostly free, you removed the helmet from your head. 

“Awe there you are my little killjoy” Dante teased you even more causing you to blush and push his head away. “I’m sorry you can’t handle how fast I drive baby, but Cavaliere needs to go fast and so do I”

Dante laid his head on your chest to listen to your heartbeat which was now somewhat calmed down from its previous racing state

.“You’re so dumb, Dante” You ran your hands through his white hair causing the overgrown man baby to cuddle into your chest even further. 

“But you love me” Dante says before perking up to look at you in the eyes. “I have an idea! What if I taught you to ride? You think it will be a more pleasurable experience for you?”

You gave the manner a thought before shrugging your shoulders. You gave him a brief ‘maybe’ before pulling his head back down to lie on your chest.

“Great! You can practice on the rider if you get what I’m referring to” 

You couldn’t see his face but you already knew he had a smug look and wiggled his damn eyebrows. You gave him a light bash at the back of his head causing him to suck air through his teeth. Before he can protest anymore you pull his head back by his hair and smash your lips into his.

“I love you asshole” You pull away for a second to breathe and speak your mind before pulling him into a kiss once more. “But you get on my nerves”

Dante was surprised that you had decided to kiss him. He knows you love him but even he knows he can be a handful. In the typical Dante fashion, he decided to speak up with a comeback.

“There is one particular nerve I am hoping to hit” He gave you a cheesy ass grin. Oh if only you could wipe the smug look off his face.

“I wish I kept my mouth shut. You simply are too much at times” You pushed his head away causing him to groan, already missing the feeling of your lips. “Always knowing how to ruin a moment. But I guess it wouldn’t be you if you didn’t open that big mouth of yours”

“I know something else I can do with this big mouth of mine”

“Dante?”

“Love of my life?”

“Shut up, please”

[rzyraffek]

Guys I suffer from jojo brainrot, I know its not my usual writing , but I need to get this out of my system. NO SPOILERS they/them pronouns, sfw, Request open

Also for obvious (and legal) reasons in josuke and okayasu ones reader is like 16.

Also I didnt finish jojo part4 yet so some stuff might be eee not accurate?

More jjba dating headcanons!!

Including Kars, Santana, young Joseph, Jonathan, Josuke, Speedwagon, Okuyasu

Kars

Homie will litteraly pet them. My guy has god complex, thinks that humans are so so smol and so so tiny

Picks them up like some lil baby and probably carries them around everywhere

S/o mostly just vibes in his huge mansion while Kars plots some evil emo stuff (again)

Quick reminder that this guy was doing ah mimimimi ah mimimimimi😴 for last few centuries so s/o has to explain him a lot of stuff

Imagine him getting jumpscared bcs your phone made a noise, or him just walking up to light switch and turing lights on and off repeatedly. Mans fascinated

Also guy is a walking muscle so no matter how big or smol s/o is they going to be picked up and carried around, probably he uses only one hand too btw

Pls brush his hair he will litteraly melt

Santana

...

"Human why you carry tiny talking square everywhere? Is it magical?"

My guy will take their phone and 'accidently' take 50selfies, but not in sexy way, but in 'his face is zoomed to camera and you see only his eyes and forehead' way

His love language is quality time, understanding and gifts

Hates germans btw

Will give them random stuff, like he will litteraly bring them a microwave and be like "human explain meaning of this". But also gives them shiny rocks, jewellery, hair accessories. If s/o wants a new car, my man gonna litteraly pick up first car he sees and bring it to them

I am convinced he eats food with his bare hands. S/o has to give him tutoral how to use knife and fork, he won't like it >:(

Young Joseph

Homeboy hands are everywhere, if my guy doesn't hold their hand, he is putting his hands on s/o shoulders or waist or just kisses them

Doing make-up together. And nails. And hair. All of this while shittalking his enemies and talking about all the drama.

Tequila Joseph first dragqueen in history btw

Never go on plane with him, no matter how romantinc he promises it will be. Do not

Also makes fun of Ceasar that Joseph was the first one to find a partner not him😍

S/o and Ceasar probably meet up sometimes to just complain about how dumb Joseph sometiems is😭

Will litteraly do anything to impress them frfr

Jonathan

Not boyfriend, but Husband material

My guy will be on walk with his homie speedwagon and litteraly act like teenager girl with crush. All blushy, shy and asking for advices

Gives them handfuls of flowers, but like Jonathan's sized handful (alot)

Loves walking with s/o and holding hands ofc

My boy will blush and die if s/o does first move

Pls s/o beat dio up he sucks

The best boy husband

Josuke

Bros gonna be so protective, like fr my guy will be worried if s/o goes to shop and doesn't come back in more than 20minutes

He will blush if s/o tries to hold his hand

Mumbles a lot about hair routine and hair products, and probably likes to comb s/o hair

Okayasu probably cried when he found out that Josuke has a partner btw

The sweetest boy alive

Guy will accidentally spoil them. Also they are basicly immortal due to all crazy daimon stuff

If s/o sees stands... OMG PLS pls hug his lil man, his stand i mean. It looks very hugable

Playing video games when s/o and josuke lied to his mom that you came over to teach him some school stuff>>

Okuyasu

This dude

This guy

Will litteraly beat anyone up, for no reason anyways. He just do be like that.

He is very dumb, please be patient

Isn't romantic, he tries to act cool and tough, but he is unintentionally cute! Like he will go to s/o house in middle of day, knock on door and he like "sup babygrill I bought you some ice cream"

If you guys play any kind of competitive game he might let them win! But he never tell them that of course

Also he is very physical, but not in romantic/sexy way but in 'dub me up homie/sup give me high five' hes very bromance. he also enjoys just leaning on them, like yall just stand waiting for bus and this dude will put like half his body weight on them

Once he had a nightmare and called them at 3am

Speedwagon

Btw sorry that characters are all over place and not organised, I am sleeby

My guy will shank anyone for you babe

Talks, a lot. So if s/o is a listener type, they will get along well

Goes to Jonathan and asks for advices about relationships!

S/o steals his hat and he pretends that he's offended, but pls dont stop you look cute!

My guy is very very...unorganised... total mess of a men if it comes to life. I dont even know if he has a house btw

Cuddles on couch when he's sure that noone is around>>>

Will read them to bed if that helps s/o fall asleep

He has poor eyesight but he doesnt wear glasses. Bonk him pls

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere Deadpool Headcanons: I "FULLY SUPPORT" THIS (RUN!!!) (Marvel)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am The Yandere Specialist and no I am not being held hostage by Deadpool to make sure that you become his darling, I am not in danger at all!!! Hehehe! Anyway, let me sell you on why Deadpool is the right man for you! Now let's do this, enjoy it!]  (Side Note This was multiple Traits of Deadpool From Various Deadpools Across the Multiverse and Media) 

(Disclaimer: Deadpool is not yandere in canon, and he is such a great guy in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters, and yanderes, and Deadpool, but mainly Deadpool, is fine. Just do not be illegal or gross about it, You know who you are! You Dirty Flaky Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life, but Deadpool is an ideal partner in real life. Remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank you!)  -Base Yandere Headcanons With Deadpool From Movies Mainly!- 

.Deadpool is a very good man, he is good with kids and he is very sweet.  .He is also very good in bed.  (Come on Wade this is going to get me canceled... Fine...) 

.He also would be willing to do almost anything with you in the bedroom. 

.He fell for you right away and he knew that he wanted you as his partner, for you to be his one and only. 

.Deadpool is also Pansexual in Canon! He does not care what parts you have, what you were born as, or what gender you feel you are!  .He adores you and will have you as his and his alone he will make sure of that! 

.Of course, he would be the best husband you could ever ask for and make you tons of chimichangas.  .This man would kill for you that is a fact (SMACK) BUT it is for your own protection of course. 

(you did not have to hit me you jerk)  .He is the type of yandere that is going to deal with rivals by first trying to get them to leave you alone, maybe with a few minor gunshot wounds and threats to their life. 

.If They do not back off he will shoot them in either the tit and or crouch.  .He is going to make sure that they screwed the pooch when they tried to take you from him, he will not regret doing it either. 

.He would probably make them regret ever even looking at you. 

.He would mock them for even thinking of trying to be with you. 

.He is going to mocl his rivals one hundred percent. 

.He also can bend and break the fourth wall... Which he may or may not be doing right now and influencing these headcanons. 

(OW! I said he may or MAY NOT! ASSHAT)  .He is a very sweet man for the most part, but oh, oh boy is he possessive and protective. 

.If anyone was to hurt you, the love of his life. He would make sure that every single one of them was dead, including him. 

.He would not be able to kill himself though so if you did die he would find a way to bring you back somehow, because he just would, don't ask questions. 

(Yes, Wade! I know that is just lazy writing to say just because! Who is the author/content creator here!? Yeah that is right, me so hush up!) 

.Now where were we? Ah Yes, Deadpool would also be the most chaotic Yandere ever. 

.He would never hurt you, but he would hurt rivals and such. 

.This bro has no chill as a yandere. 

.He would be the type to break rivals's bones on a wimb. 

.Not to mention mess with them. 

.He is going to be the type to make sure no one fucks around because they would for sure find out. 

.He is the yandere that would go to such lengths to have a long life with you, even risking his life. 

(Do not question the logic, Wade, you are legit insane!) .He would confess to you in a cheesy but romantic way, and also it would not fully be planned. 

.Not all the time at least. He would have a higher chance to do it on an impulse with a candy pop ring. 

.Which is kind of sweet if you ask me. You have to love Wade aka the Deadpool man.  (Yes, Wade, I love you no shush, do not make this weird) ..He also would want to have a family with you. If you have a uterus be ready for a good impregnation. 

.And if you have no uterus or you do not want to carry a pregnancy. You can expect him to come home with a baby. 

.Where did he get the baby? 

.He won't tell you! He won't tell me! There is just going to be one random ass baby in your home and you will be a mama a daddy or a zazzeh (like daddy but with Z another gender-neutral term Zazzah like a mama with Z) Depending on what you want to be called, but you will be a parent.  .And by the slight chance that you did not want kids, he is going to get a Landshark for you to have as your Landshark baby. 

(Which Deadpool agrees that is the superior choice and I mean he is not wrong! Landshark baby is the best baby) 

.If you accept his love, he will be over the room and you can count on doing the devil tango right then and there. 

(Wade I hope you did not propose to them in public... I am not held responsible for your indecent exposure to (Name) OR THE OBSCENE PDA YOU TWO DO!!!) 

.If you turned him down? He would throw said ring pop over his shoulder, and act like he was messing with you. 

.But he is not going to give up. 

.He is not going to kidnap you, but he is going to start stalking you (which he already did, Wade said I may have forgotten to mention that he has been stal- OW Okay okay... Watching over you!) 

.So he would increase watching over you. To see where he went wrong. 

.He would also be interrogating so many of your friends and family. 

.To see if you were seeing someone else or if someone was blackmailing you, he is doing his best to watch over you all the time. 

.So that he can get rid of anyone who is hurting you. (DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT HE IS TRYING TO GET RID OF HIS RIVA- OW OW OW OK Ok! OK! I will drop it!) 

.In the end, he is one of the better- (Okay Wade, you don't have to point a gun at me) one of the BEST Yanderes to have. 

I fully support you ending up with Wade and saying yes to his love!  .You two are meant to be and would be very happy together, trust me (NO RUN MUFFIN RUN!)  [YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, Another this chapter is done! I hope that you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins! 

[leclercloml]

Bunny? It's MIFFY | FT7

Pairing: Ferran Torres x french!reader

Summary: in which ferran's girlfriend is obsessed with the miffy plushie.

Genre: SMAU

Warninga: grammar mistakes probably, google translated spanish & french

Author's note: this one is made specially for @zowanew the og miffy girl, ilysm and i hope you like it 🤍 (most of the pics contains Sira Martinez and I know she's not french but for the fic let's pretend she is)

yourinstagram

liked by ferrantorres, pablogavi, mikkykiemeny and 234,638 others

yourinstagram the love of my life and Ferran 🐰🤍

view comments

ferrantorres WOW, thank you??

⤷yourinstagram you're welcome.

⤷username lmfao 😭

ferrantorres did I just got replaced my a literal stuff toy?

⤷yourinstagram stuff toy? STUFF TOY??! her name's MIFFY.

⤷ferrantorres stuff toy.

⤷yourinstagram blocked.

⤷username Ferran ilysm but don't you dare call miffy a stuff toy ever again.

liked by yourinstagram

⤷username she liked 😭😭

mikkykiemeny my girl 🤍

⤷yourinstagram ILY !!!

⤷username the IT wags.

username they're so cute tho 😭🩷

ferrantorres I love you ❤️

⤷yourinstagram I love you too I guess.

⤷ferrantorres you guess?!!

⤷pedri 😂🫵🏻

⤷username LMAO 😭😭

pablogavi i could use that as a punching bag.

⤷ferrantorres please do, you're doing everyone a favour

⤷yourinstagram DON'T YOU DARE GAVIRA.

⤷username that's something gavi would definitely do.

username okay but can we talk about how cute these two are?? No?? Anyone??

ferrantorres

liked by yourinstagram, pedri, pablogavi and 2,629,729 others

ferrantorres Mi novia 🩷

view comments

yourinstagram he won a banana for me cause there was no game which winning prize was miffy 😔☝🏻

⤷ferrantorres be grateful?!

⤷yourinstagram I AM.

⤷username y/n would choose miffy over Ferran anyday

liked by yourinstagram

⤷username she liked the comments lmfao, poor Ferran.

pedri why was I not invited?

⤷ferrantorres as if you don't thirdwheel us 6/7 times a week.

⤷pedri exactly. It should be 7/7

⤷yourinstagram no. give us a break.

⤷pedri R U D E.

⤷pablogavi it's ok bro, we both can hangout 🫂

⤷pedri i would rather chew on a glass.

⤷username HELPP

⤷username golden retriever gavi x black cat pedri>>>

⤷username my man was tired of driving him to training everyday 😭

username okay but the 2nd slide, I might kms.

⤷username ikr they both are WAY TOO adorable

username can someone kiss me? with a gun? down on my throat?

⤷username ayo chill 💀

username still can't believe how Ferran bagged her.

⤷mikkykiemeny me too.

⤷username mikkyyyy lmaoo 😭😭

username everyday i open Instagram, saw these fuckers on my feed, wonder when it'll be me, cry myself to sleep, and then repeat.

⤷username us moment 🫂

yourinstagram added to story 10 mins ago

caption: Ma vie 🩷 (my life)

view replies

ferrantorres thought that was that rabbit but okay te amo ❤️

⤷yourinstagram for the last time ferran torres garcia it's MIFFY.

⤷ferrantorres rabbit.

⤷yourinstagram sleep at Pedri's today.

⤷ferrantorres I'M JOKING.

mikkykiemeny can't believe I got replaced by a basic white boy 😔.

⤷yourinstagram OFCOURSE NOT, you're my no.1

⤷mikkykiemeny I better be

pedri why was I not invited again.

⤷yourinstagram can you shut the fuck up?

Twitter

iMessage

Fer<3

look what I just found

y/n

Ferran mfing Torres!!!!

You better bring one of em home

Fer<3

One? Nah.

y/n

Wjwhakshsh

Je t'aime tellement!!! (I love you so much)

Come home as soon as you can.

Fer<3

I love you too!!!

On my way

Instagram

yourinstagram

liked by ferrantorres, mikkykiemeny, sophiawebber and 2,638,920 others

yourinstagram the gift giver vs the gifts, Je t'aime 😭🩷

view comments

ferrantorres te amo ❤️

⤷yourinstagram je t'aime aussi ❤️(i love you too)

⤷pedri ew.

⤷yourinstagram go away hater.

ferrantorres the gift giver>>>

⤷yourinstagram get over yourself

⤷pablogavi fr fr and give pedri back

⤷ferrantorres no.

⤷pablo kys.

⤷username I'm dying lmaaaooo

username cuties 😭🫶🏻

username i would die for them but that's just me tho.

⤷username me too girl me too

mikkykiemeny I'm better than both

⤷yourinstagram ofcourse you are wifey 🤭💍

⤷frenkiedejong no.

⤷ferrantorres no.

⤷username the real couple is actually mikky and y/n, Ferran and Frenkie are the side chicks here.

username I want what they have.

Twitter

Grace's note: this one was quite fun, I hope you like it @zowanew and Ferran literally loves you.