#i always knew i was SOMEWHERE on the spectrum

[ritz-writes]

guess who figured out where they live on the ace spectrum!! :D

[heartswithinreach]

LaDS with an autistic MC

a/n: another one i’m writing for me. but i tried to touch on different symptoms so others can feel included 😊

Xavier

He’s been asked if he’s on the spectrum more than once so he’s aware of what autism is but not much else.

That quickly changes when Xavier finds out you’re autistic. He does as much research as he can, both through books and online articles, and then subtly does his own study with you.

If he’s on his phone, you can bet he’s noting your preferences (food, texture, smells) and your interests for future reference.

Pleasantly surprised by how you start to change as you become more comfortable around him. He’s very glad to be allowed into your inner world.

Xavier never wants you to feel like a burden or you’re broken somehow. You are simply you. And he wouldn’t change a thing about his beloved partner.

Zayne

Autistic!MC 🤝 Autistic!Zayne

Zayne was diagnosed before you but didn’t pay it much attention until you got the same diagnosis in your teenage years. He added autism to his studies for medical school, learning how to care for you and himself at the same time.

When you come back into his life, he surprises you by remembering all the strategies and signals you made to support each other when you were young.

Masking has always been difficult for him. Hiding aspects of himself exhausts him so he makes sure you know you never, ever have to pretend with him. You can be yourself around him.

Zayne is in no rush when it comes to how your relationship evolves. You can both take your time in figuring this out and he’ll always be there.

Rafayel

“Yeah, I knew you were a weirdo from the day we met.”

Rude! But if you were worried telling him would change how Rafayel sees you, you have nothing to worry about. He’s loved you for so long, it’s just something new about you he gets to discover.

He loves how radiant your smile is when you talk about your interests. He could listen to you for hours, just basking in your light.

Rafayel also loves the opportunity to play hero.

“What’s wrong, cutie? You’re anxious and wanna leave early? Eh, this party was boring, anyway. Come on, I’ll get you something sweet on the way home. Don’t worry about offending anyone, I’ll take care of everything — you just breathe, okay?”

Sylus

With how rocky the beginning of your relationship was, it’s not unreasonable to think he would get frustrated with you the same way he did when you couldn’t resonate with him.

But no. Sylus is actually your most fierce and loyal advocate and very protective of your peace of mind.

He takes care of potential issues before you can even think of them and is slowly turning his home into a place of comfort for you — while keeping his aesthetic, of course.

Sylus happily allows you to cling to him in public, taking pride in how you go to him for protection. And if you have to go somewhere alone, you’ll hear Mephisto’s cry following you.

Never touches you without warning and always stops at the first sign of discomfort. Anyone who doesn’t do the same is swiftly handled by Luke and Kieran.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for sabotaging my husband's relationships?

CW for discussions about sex, but I wouldn't say it's NSFW

In my country, arranged marriages are very common and this was how I (24F) got married with "Jason" (24M) (note that I said ARRANGED marriages, not FORCED marriages. An arranged marriage is basically when your family plays matchmaker with you and someone else, but it isn't forced). It's important to say I never wanted to get married and am for sure placed somewhere in the ace spectrum, because sex was never something important to me. But I knew Jason since we were kids and he was always nice to me, so I accepted to spend some time with him and see where it would go.

Turns out Jason and I had a lot in common. Our country is pretty religious, but neither of us saw that much importance in religion and just pretended to our families to not cause problems. We are both more on the introvert side and don't like crowds or big family reunions. When I told him about my feelings about sex and sexuality, he was sweet and understanding. We ended up becoming good friends and it was obvious the idea of marrying each other seemed appealing for us.

So we got married two years ago. We made a deal to be basically good friends who are married, to not have sex and sleep in different rooms. He was allowed to sleep with whoever he wanted since he was not getting this from me. Everything was perfectly fine.

Our families, however, really started to pressure us to have children this last year. Since this was so important to them, we agreed to, well, try. But first I asked him to make an STI exam since he had his fair share of casual sex and, even though he reassured me he always used protection, I wouldn't feel safe otherwise. After the exam showed he was clean, we had our first time together and it was great. Way better than I could ever imagine. After that, he noticed I liked it and asked if sex was in the equation of our relationship now. I said yes.

This was a few months ago and since then we've been having sex pretty regularly, but we also started to spend more time together outside of that, and I think my feelings of friendship for Jason are starting to change. Not only that, but I started to feel jealous of his casual relationships, especially his affair with this "Anna" girl (20sF) who he's been seeing regularly for the past months. I'm scared he starts to fall in love with her, because he always speaks highly of her and he seems to like her.

So I kinda started to sabotage his dates with her and other girls, in a way? I pretend to have headaches, to feel sick or sad or any other excuse so he has to stay with me instead of go see them. I know it's childish and maybe I should just talk to him about it, but I'm so scared he doesn't feel the same and things get weird between us. It's not like we can escape each other.

AITA?

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

How do you think Elfangor's parents reacted to learning that Tobias was their grandson through Ellemist shenanigans?

I think their reaction would depend a lot on when the news breaks. Because if they find it out in the midst of finding out that Ax survived the war and finally gets to come home, then it might be a nice bonus but nothing more.

Like, that line from #38 that always takes me out at the knees: "My hearts ached for my parents. They had lost one son on this distant planet. I feared they would soon lose a second." Their younger kid is stranded far away, in a war zone, actively fighting for his life — and their older kid died the same way. If Elfangor having got busy with the locals comes out somewhere in there, then I'm not convinced they'd have the bandwidth to care.

However, if there is space for them to react...

I'd like to know more about andalite social norms with regard to fatherhood. Because I think the best comparison would be to the children of the Vietnam War (American GI fathers, Vietnamese mothers). The U.S. families' reactions to learning of those kids ran the gamut from "Bonus grandkid! Awesome!" and "Our dead son has a legacy we never knew about, which we can't wait to embrace" all the way to "The mom was irresponsible to let this kid exist" and "Our son would never; come back with a DNA test." But from what little I know of the issue, there are few assumptions that the fathers should have been there for their coparents and kids, because that's the U.S. take on fatherhood for you.

If andalites are similarly lax in their views of fatherhood, then I could see them finding it really cool that this piece of Elfangor is still around. If they're closer to Vietamese than U.S. views, then (even though it's not Elfangor's fault) I could see it coming as a big blow to his parents that he had a kid he promptly abandoned. But from what little we know of Noorlin and Forlay, they seem pretty far on the open chill hippie end of the political spectrum. So I don't think there's any risk they'd reject Tobias or judge Loren for his existence.

[alter-ego-xxx]

between james, sirius, remus, regulus, barty, and evan, who do you think jerks off the most and who does it the least?

nsfw

wooooooooh okay! Let's get into it.

6. Regulus; I think before he met James and got into a healty relationship, his connection to his body was kinda fucked up (be that the trauma/abuse or him being born into an afab body). And he was raised to think that everything involving pleasure was a sin. So he doesn't really jerk off that much, maybe once or twice a month (ovulation, maybe). {also this might change once he meets James and slowly gets to fix his relationship with his body.}

5. Remus; I think (also before Sirius) he saw it more as a "body maintenance" than anything really "fun". After he gets with Sirius, he sees the fun and pleasure in it, but now he's got a boyfriend for that purpose, doesn't he?

4. Evan; There's this popular hc that he is ace (I'm not really sure if I think that as well) but if he weren't, I just think his sex drive isn't that high. He's always ready to sleep with someone if he finds them hot, yes, but just on his own... he just doesn't really do it as much.

OR; Evan's position in this ranking could drastically change if he were somewhere on the ace spectrum, meaning that he isn't reaaally interested in having sex with someone else and only does it to himself.. then he'd end up at place 3 or 2.

3. Sirius; he is HORNY. One hot bloke changing in the changing room, Remus' hand too close to his thigh, and my man is BRICKED. He does, however, still have a lot of trauma and grew up in the same circumstances like Reg, so he's still ashamed of his needs sometimes.

2. James; HIGH! SEX! DRIVE! He's just overall a temparamentous (?) person, so he's also quite horny. Being pan doesn't help his situation. I'm quite sure tho, that his wanks are usually quite short; a video/photo, a hand, a few minutes, and a determined mind is all he needs.

1. aaand first place, of course, goes tooooo BCJ!!! Do y'all know this post that's like "fortunately god didn't give me a dick because he knew that I'd get bricked up about a still-hot paper coming out of a printer"? Yeah, that's him. But (un?)fortunatley, god DID give him a dick. He's also the guy to say that his dick is his favourite thing about himself "because it has brought me the most pleasure I've ever felt".

[sillysecretwriting]

Being somewhere on both aro and ace spectrums and having a partner is such an odd type of erasure. Like up until accidentally starting to date my current partner, I'd always just say "I don't really date" if people asked about my romantic life and just left it there. I knew that I was so rarely romantically attracted to people, it wasn't never, but the number of people I've been romantically attracted to in my entire life is maybe three? My partner is one of the three, so I ended up having this cute person that I'm romantically attracted to and now share large portions of my life with, but my identity hasn't changed. Our relationship is the rarity, not the normal for me, but now when people ask, and I tell them I have a partner, that larger portion of me that doesn't always understand why other people are so set on having a partner or why there's so much stigma around being single, is just erased in that person's eyes.

I was happy alone and didn't feel like anything was missing. I'm also happy with my partner. But I just hate that the aro (and ace) spectrum parts of my identity become invisible as soon as I mention my partner.

[lunarriviera]

under the skin meta: The Monologue™ (part 1)

[spoilers for s2 in general and ep 20 in specific—which, trust me, you really don't want to watch out of order. it's worth waiting for this one.]

if you’ve seen The Monologue, you understand. this is why tan jianci fans are somewhere on a spectrum from chronically bitter to unendingly distraught about never not yet getting to see him play gu yun in sha po lang/winner is king. if uts were a north american prestige drama, tjc would have just handily won an emmy. as it is he’ll probably just be in a bunch of romcoms and do more goofy stuff on hi6, and that’s fine too. i guess we’ll always have “wet the bed.”

where was i oh right The Monologue. this will be long but it’s possibly the most glorious moment in this entire drama so here we go.

to build up to it, tho, we need backstory: namely, season two's gradual unraveling of shen yi. we know he can’t sleep well and has ghastly nightmares about a little girl he didn’t save, mostly because he didn’t consciously know she was in any danger. in her red dress, like the little girl in schindler’s list, she stands out, tragic amidst the desaturation, and shen yi makes a variety of horrified faces about having failed her. (horrified faces seem to be his main ones this season, which is partly what makes The Monologue so exciting.)

anyway shen yi has already been pretty thoroughly harrowed by this particular case as it is, having been the one to figure out (of course) the serial murderer’s ritualistic pattern and motive. shen yi turns his most Horrified Face to du cheng to warn him that the next victim's in danger, and they have this exchange, which will be important later.

(what du cheng says is 别担心, which also gets translated as "rest assured"—like, don't let your heart be uneasy. i got this.)

so du cheng takes off to save the victim, and shen yi goes back to his office to do…actually, what does he think he’s going to do? some paperwork, a little light filing, maybe sharpen some pencils? instead he predictably goes into a glass-shattering fugue state, and imagines the little girl. this begins the monologue scene, even though it all takes place in shen yi’s head. pls indulge me by watching it again, bc i assume you’ve already seen it anyway, and my god it’s such a gorgeous piece of face journey that ALSO sets up what’s to follow.

in some ways this compressed little piece is even better than what comes after. the way he FLIES to her and FALLS to his knees, just rushes up to her stammering and devastated and PROMISING he'll save her this time. honestly it destroyed me, i watched it like 5 times in a row before i could even move on. the unheld-back generosity of this brief performance, the way he’s completely focused on her and then just FALLS APART, it snapped my heart like a carrot stick.

me, a fangirl: SHEN YI SHEN YI NO BB NO PLS SOMEONE HELP HIM me, film nerd: huh fascinating never seen an actor's lips shake before

so now he understands what he needs to do. what he MUST do. having had this revelation, shen yi shows up at the killer’s door, creepy-smiling at him and barging inside. and then he delivers The Monologue, ten solid nearly-uncut minutes of sheer batshit insanity.

shen yi rants. he raves. he paces and pivots and gestures, he thinks aloud, he surmises and expostulates and revises and reverses and exclaims and delivers each conclusion with rabid glee. he scowls and shouts and is sinister and grins and is just one thousand fucking percent unhinged.

we have never, ever seen shen yi like this before, and thank god, because he would scare people on the regular, and he’s scary enough as it is. why do you think he wears all those baggy pastels and smiles so sweetly. why do you think he tries to pass as an unassuming twink, it’s because if people knew what was really going on inside his head half the time, they’d be screaming crying passing out. (tho the beauty of shen yi is: he also really is just an unassuming twink.)

anyway there i was, like a bonehead, stupidly trying to screenrecord this scene before i realized it would be like fifty gig of fire emoji, and then my hands fell limply at my sides, bc it dawned on me what was actually happening. sort of like that moment in “free churro” when you realize bojack horseman really is going to keep giving this heartbreaking eulogy for the length of the entire episode.

because The Monologue is virtuoso. it's tour de force. this is the kind of thing they play at the oscars during your "in memoriam" clip reel. this is what undergrads copy for their audition pieces. this is some heath ledger shit. it's jack nicholson in the shining, al pacino in scarface. this is about one inch away from brando.

as a result of all this, shen yi has the serial killer (whose name is ge yutian by the way) eating out of his goddamn hand within like half a minute, absolutely spellbound—which is the entire point. if shen yi doesn’t convince him, all of this glorious sorcery is for nothing.

(the guy who plays ge yutian is good too, a perfect scene partner for this. he picks up every cue and lets tjc have all the room he needs.)

just a few more notes on the performance, both tjc's and shen yi's:

1. where it really goes off the rails is when shen yi shrieks, DAMN POLICE! and ge yutian JUMPS in alarm. this not only made me laugh (him being so bonkers that he actually frightens a serial murderer!) but is also the moment when The Monologue stops being "aw haha such a fun thing for an actor to get to do" and “…jesus christ what the fuck am i watching." look how i couldn't even get a non-potato screencap. it's from this point on that shen yi is possessed.

2. because he has to show that he identifies with ge yutian, that the killer can and should trust him because they think alike. but that’s just the old “FBI profiler eventually becomes his prey” cliché, so there’s more to it. he also has to convince ge yutian that his ideas, shen yi's, are ge yutian's ideas, from the inside out—and therefore he's the right candidate for the sheng role. and finally, that it's precisely his ability to act, to be a strong performer, that makes him the right choice. that it’s shen yi who’s most suitable, thanks to his convincing mimesis of ge yutian’s highly suspect “thought process."

3. to really pull this off, even as shen yi builds him up (cf. ge yutian clapping enthusiastically, enthralled by this flattering vision), he also has to tear him down. so he plays two roles at once: ge yutian and an unknown theatre critic—who’s also shen yi, because he’s still the righteous officer of the People’s Police, here to inform ge yutian that his vision is sick and twisted, and not anything his gentle-hearted lover would have wanted, not her way of being in the world.

4. finally i would argue that shen yi's admittedly shaky s2 state here suddenly seems a lot more bolted-on. a few viewers have worriedly described The Monologue almost as some kind of psychotic break but honestly i read it as so very controlled and so very deliberate. while he’s desperate (must save victim this time. must not fuck it up again.) he’s not deranged. he absolutely knows what he’s doing.

i'm sorry to say part 2 will follow. but to conclude for now:

• actors are witches. • 16:9 can no longer contain tjc’s talent this man needs 1.85:1 • you hardly ever get to see someone just NAIL IT TO THE WALL like this, what a time to be alive • (and these were long takes too. there wasn't that much editing. that was all him. and you can see three uncut minutes of it here) • pls watch under the skin for some unexpectedly fine acting as well as ofc crime drama, ensemble comedy, weird art historical facts, and captain du cheng (jin shijia), who alternates between being a giant goofball and an aloof occasionally scary badass. also they’re in love.

[canisalbus]

I've been curious about this for a while, and after finding your Tumblr and reading up on Machete lore I'd love to know; Is Machete autistic? I myself am autistic and I see myself in him quite a lot at times while reading your posts... If not, are there anything other disabilities or ailments he has? What about Vasco?

I'm hesitant to assign either them a lot of labels, but I think it's justified to say he has enough autistic traits to place him somewhere on the spectrum. Of course they hadn't figured out neurodiversity in the 1500's, if you knew him well enough you might call him a little eccentric. Even then he's reasonably proficient at masking and trying to appear normal to others. Having impressive self-restraint and an unhealthy degree of self-awareness helps with that. His surroundings are formal, rigid and impersonal and he has learned to navigate that specific social climate reasonably well. In addition to difficulty in socializing his main issues are sensory related, he's sensitive to textures, loud sounds and environmental overstimulation and has a low pain threshold, but can tolerate a surprising amount of discomfort in order to keep his face and not appear weak or unprofessional.

I'd say most of his physical health issues are related to anemia in a way or another, a condition that hasn't been discovered yet and thus can't be treated effectively. In their terms he simply has a weak constitution and is susceptible to mystery pains and illnesses. Unfortunately the catch-all medical care at the time is bloodletting, which, as you can imagine, only worsens his symptoms. Albinism affects the development of your eyes so his sight isn't the best and he's very sensitive to bright lights, to the point he prefers to stay indoors on sunny days.

Vasco, in comparison, has always been healthy as a horse, apart from recurring childhood ear infections. He exhibits some traits that could align with inattentive adhd, but probably not enough to justify a diagnosis. He can be a little disorganized, forgetful and has trouble starting and completing tasks, and has hard time forcing himself to stay invested in things he doesn't care about all that much.

[asagirisfavpen]

Pushing the gay agenda onto bsd because I can

Ada:

- Dazai - demiromantic, bi, preference for women, he knew from like 10 he's not straight

- Kunikida - demiaroace, that's basically implied in the show, he/they pronouns, bi with preference for women, took him a very long time (like 22 years) to figure out he also likes men

- Ranpo - aroace spec, gay, prefers he/it pronouns but wouldn't actually care

- Yosano - lesbian, knew since day one, she/they

- Kyouka - she never thought abt this kinda stuff but she doesn't think she'd really care abt the gender of the person she likes, somewhere on the ace spectrum, doesn't care about pronouns

- Kenji - doesn't really understand, he says he loves everyone

- Atsushi - bi, preference for men (women scare him but it's understandable because the women he knows are Yosano and Kyouka), he/they but he's too afraid to ever tell ppl that

- Fukuzawa - literally never thought abt this before meeting Ranpo, but he now thinks he's bi without really any preference

- Tanizaki - transmasc he/him, is always too awkward to correct ppl

- Naomi - pan, absolutely no preference or care for the gender of the person she likes

- Haruno - she/he, aroace

Port Mafia:

- Chuuya - demiaroace, transmasc he/they, will correct you if you misgender him, bi with preference for men, he probably always knew he likes men and was shocked when he found out that some ppl only like one gender

- Kouyou - bi-curious but she's not wondering is she likes women, she's wondering if she likes men

- Mori - bi, preference for Elise

- Tachihara - never had the time to think abt, always assumed he's straight but then he got a crush on Gin and was panicking he is gay. He's bi. Then after figuring out he's bi he realized he's also transmasc

- Gin - agender, couldn't care less about pronouns, pan

- Akutagawa - demiaro, ace, bigender she/he

- Hirotsu - bi, huge preference for women, only like one man in his whole life

- Higuchi - lesbian (her crush on Aku is comphet), she/they

- Kaji - queer. Just queer. No label for this man woman thing

- Verlaine - they/them, gay

- Rimbaud - he/she/they, gay(er)

- Albatross - she/he, bi

- Pianoman - pan (Lippmannsexual), uses he/him pronouns but wouldn't really care if ppl would use any other pronoun

- Lippmann - gender-fluid, bi with preference for nb ppl, will sue snyone (kill anyone) if they misgender him

- Doc - gay

- Iceman - aroace

- Odasaku - doesn't care for a label, likes who he likes, is who he is

The Guild:

- Fitzgerald - Zeldasexual, never loved or will love anyone else so he's not even thinking about it (his pronouns are U/S/A /j)

- Louisa - bi, preference for women

- Poe - has a gay crisis every other day because "what if this is the wrong label????" So he just says gay or queer

- Lucy - transfem she/her will kill anyone who misgenders her

- Margaret - seems homophobic but is actually an ally, she thought Lucy how to girl, she's questioned if she's bi before

- Nathaniel - homophobic homosexual (bisexual but refuses to admit his crushes on men because of religion)

- Mark - bi

- John - he/she, gay

- Lovecraft - genderqueer, aroace spec

- Herman - ally

Hunting dogs:

- Fukuchi - gay for Fukuzawa

- Tecchou - doesn't really understand it, he thinks that ppl shouldn't even label just love, and doesn't care what pronouns ppl use for him but if ppl misgender others he will correct them

- Jouno - gay, transmasc, will torture ppl if they misgender him

- Teruko - she/they/xe, queer

Decay of Angels:

- Sigma - agender, any pronouns, aroace spec

- Nikolai - he/it transmasc, gay

- Fyodor - aroace

- Bram - was once asked by Nikolai if he's gay and said "No. I'm actually too tired to feel gay right now." He/she

Other ppl:

- Ango - doesn't have time to fall in love or even think abt it, he/she

- Tsujimura - bi-curious

- Ayatsuji - says they're above gender (agender) and aroace

- Aya - currently questioning her gender (and life choises)

- Adam - non-binary, any pronouns

- Katai - transmasc, he/they/it, bi

[velvet-cupcake-games]

It's About to Get Real Gay in Here

I am fully transitioning to work on John's route this week, and I realized that from here on out in the main game, all Made Marion romances are unambiguously Queer 4 Queer (except Gui's, which is Almost Certainly Q4Q But It Doesn't Really Come Up). I didn't mean to put the two most hetero guys first. John was actually supposed to be the second route, but his route and Robin's are two of my most emotionally complex to write and I wanted a break in-between.

For newer fans, it shakes out like this (in modern terminology):

Marion is and always has been bi/pansexual.

John is a bi/pansexual cis man.

Meissa is a bi non-binary person with a preference for femme-leaning partners.

Alanna is a lesbian cis woman.

Gui is some flavour of non-hetero and is cis but gender-nonconforming.

Geoffrey is a demisexual cis man (and probably somewhere on the aromantic spectrum as well).

So let's put down a few Ask Box Ground Rules!

I will brook no homo-, bi-, aroace-, or transphobia in the ask box. If your question is offensive it gets deleted. I've been blessed with a generally quite pleasant ask box so far, let's keep it that way!

Yes, these basic sexual preferences are canon. I don't use modern sexuality terminology in the game because research strongly points to pre-modern peoples not thinking of sexuality as an inborn orientation. But of course pre-modern people knew that different people have different sexual preferences.

Why do I use bi/pan for Marion and John? Because they could easily use either label to describe themselves and because I like to reinforce the fact that bisexuality is not trans- or non-binary exclusive. This is not up for debate on this blog.

I will be particularly cranky if there is hate toward John as a bisexual man who has had male partners in the past. I've seen this happen to other LGBT/amare romance VN developers and I have no tolerance for it. If I get flooded with this kind of thing, I will simply turn off anon.

In a similar vein, I have been open about the fact that Meissa has a penis. I don't do ambiguous genitals for non-binary characters because I write explicit love scenes and it would absolutely not be fair to be all "and then they touched each other in their happy spots" for only non-binary characters. We all have bits, regardless of gender identity. This does not mean that Meissa is a man. They are not.

Everybody good? Good! Let's have fun, be gay, and, well... as this IS a Robin Hood game... DO CRIMES.

[luvzshy]

Hey, could you do Billie x reader where the reader has autism and is just super overstimulated and ends up have a autistic meltdown and Billie comforts them

Author's Note: Thank you for reading! I want to acknowledge that I wrote this story based on information I found online and may not fully capture the experiences of those on the autism spectrum. If there are any inaccuracies or oversights, l sincerely apologize. My intention is to portray a supportive and loving relationship. Your thoughts and feedback are always welcome! love uu 💕💕✨

Calm in the chaos

The anticipation had been electric. Billie’s concert was something you had dreamed about for months, a chance to see her perform live and feel the energy of the crowd. But as the night approached, the excitement began to shift into something more intense—a whirlwind of emotions you weren’t entirely prepared for.

You arrived at the venue, the sound of music spilling into the air, mingling with the chatter of excited fans. The bright lights outside felt overwhelming, almost blinding. You took a deep breath, trying to ground yourself. Billie had always said that being in the moment was important, but at that moment, all you could feel was the pressure building in your chest.

Once inside, the atmosphere was buzzing. The bass thumped rhythmically, vibrating through your body. The lights flashed in dazzling patterns, creating a kaleidoscope of colors that danced before your eyes. But rather than exhilaration, a sense of panic began to settle in. You could feel the crowd pressing in around you, voices overlapping, the music becoming a barrage of sound that drowned out your thoughts.

“Hey, are you okay?” Billie’s voice cut through the chaos as she turned to you, her brow furrowed in concern. She could see the subtle changes in your expression, the way your hands trembled slightly, and how your breath became shallow.

You forced a smile, a common reflex when you felt overwhelmed. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, but the quiver in your voice was a telltale sign. You could feel your heart racing, a tightening knot in your stomach that told you the excitement was morphing into something darker.

As the lights dimmed and Billie took the stage, the cheers of the crowd surged like a tidal wave. It was too much—too loud, too bright, too intense. The world around you began to spin, and your chest felt constricted. You glanced at Billie, who was radiant under the stage lights, but even her presence couldn’t anchor you in that moment.

“Billie, I—” you managed to stutter, your voice barely above a whisper before the words slipped away. The sound of the crowd seemed to amplify, the flashing lights piercing your senses, drowning you in a wave of overstimulation.

In that instant, the familiar signs of an impending meltdown rushed over you like a storm. Your vision blurred, tears stinging at the corners of your eyes. You felt trapped, caught in a whirlwind of sensory overload. Your heart raced, and before you knew it, you were overwhelmed with a sense of panic.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” Billie said urgently, her voice breaking through the chaos. She abandoned the stage, moving swiftly through the crowd, her presence a beacon of calm amidst the storm.

She knelt beside you, her hands warm and steady as she took yours. “You’re safe with me. Just breathe. In and out. Focus on my voice,” she urged, her tone soothing yet insistent.

Your breathing was erratic, and you struggled to follow her instructions, but you could see the concern etched on her face, the love radiating from her gaze. “Can we go somewhere quiet?” you managed to ask, your voice trembling as the tears spilled over, mixing with the sweat on your cheeks.

“Of course. Let’s find a safe space,” Billie replied, her grip on your hand tightening reassuringly. She led you away from the crowd, her presence unwavering, as she guided you to a quieter corner of the venue, where the noise faded into a muffled hum.

Once you reached a secluded area, she gently pulled you into her arms, wrapping you in a comforting embrace. You felt the warmth of her body, the rhythmic beating of her heart matching your own as you tried to regain control. She rocked you gently, her fingers running soothingly through your hair.

“I’m here. I’m right here,” she whispered, her voice soft and steady, like a lifeline pulling you back from the edge. “You’re not alone in this.”

Gradually, the storm inside you began to calm. The noise that had felt deafening faded into the background, replaced by the sound of Billie’s heartbeat and her soft reassurances. You focused on her voice, on the way she spoke your name, and how it wrapped around you like a warm blanket.

“I’m so sorry, Billie,” you finally managed to say, your voice thick with emotion. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Shh,” she said, lifting your chin gently so you could meet her gaze. “You don’t have to apologize. This is part of you, and I love you for who you are. You’re perfect just as you are.”

Billie wiped away the tears from your cheeks, her touch gentle and warm. “Just take your time. We can stay here as long as you need,” she reassured you, her presence grounding you further.

As you leaned into her embrace, you felt a renewed sense of safety. With her, you could let go of the pressure to conform or appear ‘normal.’ You could simply be yourself, all the quirks and complexities that came with it.

After a few minutes, you took a deep breath, your heart rate gradually slowing. You pulled back slightly, looking into Billie’s eyes, filled with warmth and understanding. “Thank you for being here,” you said softly, the words tumbling out like a sigh of relief.

“Always,” she replied, a gentle smile gracing her lips. “Let’s get back to the show, okay? Just take it one step at a time.”

With her hand in yours, you felt ready to face the world again. Billie guided you back into the venue, her unwavering support lighting your way through the remnants of the storm. Together, you navigated the crowd, and though the concert continued, you knew that no matter how overwhelming the world became, Billie would always be by your side.

[adventuringblind]

Guide Dog

Max Verstappen x Blind!reader

Genre: fluff

Request: no… please request things :(

Summary: adventures of max and the guide dog

Warnings: none

Notes: headcannon format. I’ve said it many times and I’ll say it again: blindness is a spectrum. This is short but I thought it was cute

Masterlist

We all know that Max is a cate man

Jimmy and sassy are practically his children

He was skeptical about the guide at first

A golden retriever that you’d had a few years now.

He’s a sweet dog that’s pretty chill even when he’s not working

You started slow

Brought your guide to his apartment a few times to see if the cats would get along with him

They did for the most part

As long as he didn’t bother them they were chill

You moved in with him after they got acquainted

Max thought it was fascinating to watch you with the guide

Sometimes he felt like he was competing for your attention

And the attention of all the pets in the house

They all liked you

Your dog knows his way around Monaco better then Max

And you haven’t lived here that long

Races are interesting

Most of the time you walk around with him before and after the race

Always away from the cars

Then you’ll watch the race from somewhere quieter

… and safer

During the race the staff is always running around and things around the garage are being moved

It’s a death trap for you and the dog

The amount of noise also makes it harder to navigate

Max himself started to become reliant on the dog

He was good about nudging max if he wasn’t on duty about running into things around his own house

Him and the dog came to an agreement that they would share you

Really it was Max making the deal

He ended up becoming the best wingman

He knew how to locate specific objects

Instead of bringing them to you, he brought them to max to give to you

Eventually jimmy and sassy also warmed up to the much larger four legged animal

You made a cute little family

Mostly consisting of fur, but still a family nonetheless

[ataraxiaspainting]

Heyy!! I don’t know if you still do Chrollo fics , but if you’re doing recommendations/commissions , can you make something like where the readers like “do you think you’ll kill for me one day?” and he’s like “yes. of course I will my darling” ?? It’s based off a sound I heard somewhere .. I think the song is called “I want it all” by Lana del ray. Thank you!! 🫶

damn he really would say that huh?

Bad Habit.

Yan Chrollo x F Reader.

Synopsis: “Where there is carnage, there is beauty.”

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, general anxiety and uneasiness, references to disturbing works of art (Saturn Devouring His Son, The Nightmare, Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan), manipulation, and talks of violence.

Word Count: 900.

*~*~*~*

There are as many things people can see as beautiful as there are shades of light shining through a prism.

Spectrums are quite common along with comparison and placement. It varies greatly from person to person, their preferences and their life experiences and their joys, and their fears.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, yes, but the eye of the beholder is also the window to their soul, to their psychological responses and traumas and memories of a past that would rather either be forgotten or worshiped. Every soul is different, and there is beauty in that. So, why do you find the heart and soul of Chrollo Lucilfer, whom many would call beautiful if they never knew him for what he truly is, so, so simply lovely? It does not have to do with his mannerisms or his confidence or his knowledge of virtually everything in this world, you concluded one day, after receiving yet another call from him, with him, as always, asking general questions like if you miss him and such. It is because he is the only thing I can cling to that will stay here, with me.

You cling onto him like a lost puppy, yearning for any sort of affection they can get no matter the cost. You did that when he first transported you from one place to another with hardly regarding any words from you on the matter. You do that now, in this art museum, full of unfamiliar faces and unfamiliar artwork and unfamiliar architecture. You missed home, back then. You still do now, and Chrollo still does not care one bit.

His hand is like a cuff, his arm like a chain, as he walks with you from one room to the next. But, still, it is the only thing that keeps you from falling apart.

So, like a sort of dance, you two move in sync. It is up to Chrollo as to if or when you will stop. It is never up to you, after all.

Does Chrollo enhance the horrific allure of these paintings, or does he once again bring all the attention to himself?

*~*~*~*

“Mythology often comes from our own woes.” He says, pointing upward, slowly, to Cronos’s eyes, which are bloodshot and large and dark. “A popular theory was that Goya was representing an oppressive government through Kronos, and the son that was prophesized to kill him as an adult represented the people who had started to revolt. But others don’t see it that way, oddly enough.”

You don’t respond, you simply look at the beheaded infant, which looks so soft and so rotten at the same time, with blood and deskinned chewed flesh running down his neck. He fits into his father’s hands perfectly, like he was made to be eaten.

*~*~*~*

“While most incubi are written and drawn as physically attractive creatures, this one in particular looks more akin to a gargoyle than that of a man.” He hums, and you can feel his hand wrap more tightly around yours. Not so much in a strangling, hurtful way, but rather just in a sort of reminderful way. “Maybe Fuseli was trying to make sure that the point of what the incubus really is is sent across to the viewers?”

With not a single word coming out of your mouth, a sure sign that you are zoning out his words, he squeezes a bit tighter to get your attention back where he wants it to be.

“What do you think, beloved?”

Once again, instead of answering, you choose to remain silent and focus your attention on other things. So, you look around. To the floor. To your high heels. Everything else, anything else. Only silence remains for a few more moments, but when the silence is not enjoyed any longer with another increase in his grip, you decide to answer before you get yourself into trouble.

“...I… I think that maybe it deals with sleep paralysis.”

Chrollo widens his eyes and smirks, and from those actions alone you know you have created a believable lie and concept that is sure to be amusing to him.

You’re forgiven.

*~*~*~*

“Historians say that the son’s death was the point of no return for Ivan.” A cradling of the arms and a Cat’s Cradle are the same; they both trap those within them.

Eyes are still eyes, whether they are real or not. Ivan the Terrible’s show a thousand tragedies and a thousand other faces his destiny could have worn, if he pushed the other one aside, if he had the strength to.

“Just like how Ivan was his son’s undoing, his son was also his.”

*~*~*~*

“...Would you ever kill for me?”

Violence is often not the only path Chrollo can choose to take. His words can be another, albeit that road will be much longer, and less smooth.

Who knows what he will choose when the hour of the heist comes to fruition when the art can finally be grasped and never let go of?

Which path do you prefer?

Which path does he prefer?

Do you prefer to be threatened with sweet honey that sticks to your skin or is so hot that it burns it?

“Of course, my dear.”

What you find grotesque, like the way the topic of violence is spoken so naturally from you and him, Chrollo always seems to find beautiful, like the way your moving lips are so lush.

…

Paintings are often just a reflection of how the world is, after all.

[belphies-hands-around-my-throat]

Lucifer, Belphie, Levi NSFW - The Kinks They Discovered With You/Because of You

Hello there, sweets! Happy Halloween!! 🎃

And thank you for deciding to follow this blog lol. I'm honestly kind of surprised with the engagement lol.

This is a bit late but the day has been busy haha. I hope you like my first released NSFW for this blog... And since it's Halloween, I'm not holding back on kinks~~ Sorry, if it's not up to your standards, I am very tired. 🙈

Lucifer - Cockwarming

Well, he was surprised with this because… To put it simply, he never liked mixing pleasure and work. Before you, he would always get annoyed with someone as much as trying to hit on him in a professional setting. But you… You were different. You were there for him, you supported him, and he trusted you. He knew you wouldn't let him fail, and wouldn't get in the way of responsibilities, even if he sometimes wanted you to. Would stay all night doing his work for him, if he felt overwhelmed.

It was your idea. You thought it would be relaxing. Truth be told, he didn't exactly buy it. But he would indulge you, just this once if not again and again if needed.

He would get distracted at first, feeling your warm tight hole around his cock. If he had will any weaker, he would give it up right then and there.

But he had self-control.

He leaned into it, scratching line after line into the paper.

And after a while, he discovered… It really was relaxing in a way. Your presence often had that effect on him but this… Closeness, and intimacy, even when he was otherwise distracted. Somehow… He felt completely calm.

He would lean back in his chair sometimes, push his hips further into your willing mouth, and run his gloved fingers gently through your hair.

It felt good. In a way that was different than sex, or cuddling.

Something in between.

"What a good little pet." He would whisper, unwilling to break the sleepy trance you seemed to find yourself in. "You really knew me better than myself there. Good job."

Belphegor - Dacryphilia

Oh boy. He has a complicated relationship with this one. Here's the thing he always knew about himself - he liked to be somewhere on the "mean in bed" spectrum. He perhaps had more appreciation for tears than he ought to have before. But. You were and remain to be different.

It started for him when he was still stuck in the attic, after meeting you. He would fantasize about his brother's reaction a lot at the time. And your reaction, inadvertently, as well. He imagined how satisfying and thrilling it would be to see the look of betrayal and surprise on your face. And then he started seeing you more and more. It was only natural you appeared in his mind more and more. He wanted to see you crumpled on the floor, looking up at him with pleading eyes, tears streaming down your cheeks. He wanted to tangle his hands in your hair, bring you to his level, and lick them off your face.

Except not really. That would have been gross. You were a human, he would never do anything so dirty.

He wanted, for a second, to be your God and then crush you under his heel.

It was't sexual. Really, it wasn't! So what if he woke up with an aching dick a few times after those dreams. He was just… Excited. It happened. No way he would think of a human in this way. Gross, downright disgusting.

Later though… After his plan had been realized, he found out he was an idiot for punishing you in this way, for something that was never your fault.

Well, it… Still wasn't sexual. Now your tears would make his stomach throb, and he only wanted to wipe them away. Tear apart the person that caused them. They lost their appeal after he was the cause behind them one time too many.

Or so he had thought.

He did not expect the fantasy to come back. He did not expect that him teasing you, looking up at him with a pouting flushed face, tears in your eyes, would make him feel like he was on the highest point of a rollercoaster again.

Truth be told, he felt guilty. Probably not as guilty as he ought to be though (because… He didn't need to crush you, not in the same way. You could be safe, and his, and not really suffer and break for them to flow. And hell, if that happened, he was there to protect you now. You didn't need to bear them alone now.) because he kind of… Indulged.

He would tease you, even if he knew some things would make you terribly shy. Playfully deny you when you wanted to touch him, or just play with his things. Stop at the last moment, when he knew you were just so close to cumming. Overstimulate you on purpose, when he knew you already did.

"So cute." He would breathe against your face, his cheeks flushed and eyes bright, your face caught between his soft and warm hands. "I can never get enough of it. Cry for me, just a bit more…"

Leviathan - Public+Voyuerism? Being a perv lol

Throughout his years on the planet (and various released hentai), Leviathan had a lot of sexual fantasies. Honestly, there wasn't a lot he couldn't find conceptually hot in one way or another… Well, this was it.

It was just… So embarrassing. The mere idea that he could be found out in any way was so utterly mortifying, that he sometimes had trouble with it, even within the context of his own fantasy. Let alone actually trying. He would always find himself embarrassed of PDA, screeching when something had even the tiniest potential of turning him on, turning away from revealing clothes, terrified of being called a pervert…

In retrospect, maybe that's why after all this, he found public to be such a turn-on in reality.

All the repression… Seeing you wear shorter and shorter skirts, lower necklines, coyly flashing him when you noticed him staring, pretending like you didn't notice but not only accepting his perverted gaze but revelling in it… He was never so turned on in his entire life.

The idea that you would see him as this dirty otaku pervert, see him like this and like it… He couldn't get enough of it.

He got a bit brave after a while. Not only staring but subtly brushing his chest against your back, smelling your hair, rubbing his bulge against your ass or thighs just for a moment in the school halls, before he would seriously die on the spot… Pretending like all this was just some freaky accident.

Slowly trailing his finger higher and higher on your leg while waiting in line, beyond titillated with the way your skirt hiked up, and you just stood there, red-faced, and took it.

He once couldn't take it anymore, couldn't stand the thought of getting found out that riled up, and took you to the public bathroom. He covered your face with his large palm, and thrust between your thighs, with your panties lowered just beneath your ass, slowly getting wet with both of your arousal.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" He would frantically chant in your ear, barely louder than a whisper. "Just for a little longer… Just let me for a little longer…"

[reorientation]

I thought for years and several unsuccessful relationships that I was a lesbian or at least bisexual with a strong preference for women. Everything just seemed to fall apart in the bedroom, sooner rather than later, and I’d almost convinced myself that I was somewhere on the asexual spectrum, because I always stopped wanting or even being interested in sex.

And then I confessed to having less-than-platonic feelings for an old friend, and we started hooking up, and it turns out I was wrong. I’m not gay, and I’m not asexual. I’m submissive. He’s extremely dominant and it’s excellent - I’ve never been more sexually fulfilled than with him.

I definitely never expected to be begging for cock, but I am, I love it, and I’m definitely not a lesbian.

This is incredibly cute, Anon! I'm so happy for you - that you found your place.

I wonder how your old lovers would feel, if they knew. Not only are you yet another data point for the old stereotype that every lesbian "just needs the right dick" - you didn't even know you wanted it until a man made you beg! So many women have tried so hard to make people believe that they didn't, on some level, truly need a man - but your deeply buried desire wasn't just to be with a man, it was to be beneath him.

I wonder how many girls there are like you - forever seeking the wrong thing, forever wondering why it doesn't feel real enough.

I wonder how many girls think they need a wife when they just need a collar.

[jeonscatalyst]

Hi May, so glad youre back!

There has been a lot of negativity in this fandom since AYS dropped, and it's always nice to have sensible Jikookers to turn to and discuss some things from the show.

I'm curious about your take on the car talk - since that one has been most controversial one. I know you said you'd probably make a master post about AYS but in the meantime I'd like to hear your overall opinion

Hey anon, thank you so much.

Yea it’s been a shit show since AYS dropped with everyone having very different opinions about different things but if you think about it, it’s always been like this. It’s literally always been a war zone everytime we got a new content with Jikook so just like any other time, this too shall pass.

Now about the car talk.

I think many of us already knew that Jimin and Jungkook weren’t seeing alot of each other or spending much time together in chapter two mainly because of their different schedules but them actually talking about it gave us more context.

Now, I am not going to behave like a taekooker and start coming up with lame ass excuses like, “it was scripted” or “they lied to hide their relationship” or “they didn’t mean it like that”. I’m not going to do all of that. If Jikook said they didn’t see each other much, then they didn’t. If they say they didn’t make time to call each other much then I 100% believe that, that is exactly what happened.

The car conversation started with Jimin saying that it’s been long since he went somewhere with Jungkook and Jungkook joined in a mentioned that they were supposed to go for drinks but unfortunately didn’t. Jk then mentions that when he was free and Jimin was busy, he didn’t call him and when he was busy and Jimin was free, he didn’t call him. Jimin said no he called but it seems like Jungkook doesn’t remember that he did. I have seen some different translations suggesting that Jimin and Jungkook weren’t talking about literally calling each other on the phone but talking about calling each other to hang out and do stuff together but all of those are technicalities and don’t really matter or make much of a difference to me because the point still stands that they didn’t seem to make time for each other for some reason and it seemed to have been a mutual thing.

Now, while some people will hear this and throw their hands in the air saying that this debunks Jikook and pack up their bags, it doesn’t. The only thing this possibly debunks is the fact that Jikook possibly weren’t actively in a romantic relationship at that particular point in time but it doesn’t debunk the idea that Jikook have in a romantic relationship before or are currently in one.

I have mentioned before that so often, many of us only look at the black and white of the world and neglect the grey and possibly the color. People often have a simplistic, binary way of thinking where things are seen as either all good or all bad, right or wrong, with no middle ground or shades of gray but the truth is that, in the real world, things don’t quite work like that. Situations, decisions, and people often exist in a spectrum, with various factors to consider, and understanding these subtleties is important. It important to look beyond rigid categories to appreciate the complexity and diversity of perspectives, emotions, and experiences in life. To put things in lay man’s terms, if Paul and Mary were in a relationship 6 months ago yet for some reason weren’t in a relationship last week, does this mean they never were in relationship? Short answer is no. People possibly not being together at one particular point in time doesn’t debunk the idea that they have ever been together and thinking that Jikook’s car talk debunks them completely is you looking at the world only in black and white and again, the real world doesn’t work like that.

I had also mentioned before on my other blog (gosh can tumblr give me my blog back already😩) that there was a good possibility that Jimin and Jungkook were not in the traditional or conventional type of relationship many of us are used to but this idea wasn’t welcomed by so many people because once again, to so many people, it is either Jimin and Jungkook are in a committed long lasting relationship or they are not at all but the issue with limiting things to opinions like this is that, when we get this kind of information that we got from Jikook, you don’t know how to make sense of things because to you, it had always been either this or not, true or false, yes or no and never the possibility of maybe or maybe not and that is why I kept maintaining that it was necessary to open your minds when it concerned things we don’t have full context of because you never know. You could be 100% right about Jikook being in a romantic relationship but when you limit that type of romantic relationship to just the conventional type, then it that’s an issue. It could also be a little to heteronormative to look at things like that and that unfortunately doesn’t also factor in so many things that could affect the kind of relationship jikook have, like the fact that they are idols, members of the biggest boyband in the world who live in a homophobic country etc.

Let’s look at Jikook’s history for a bit. Out of all members, Jimin and Jungkook are possibly the two who were usually seen around each other in and outside of work the most. For years, they were the two who spent most of their time together, by their own admission so they have a long history of spending time with each other in and outside of work. Taekook on the other hand don’t have a history of spending much time together outside of work. As a matter of fact, they both admitted that they didn’t. The person we always saw Jungkook with for so many years was Jimin while Tae was usually seen with his wooga and other sets of friends outside of BTS. So a jikooker thinking that just because Jikook were not seen together in chapter two, completely debunks Jikook is exactly the same as a taekooker thinking that just because Tae and Jk hung out together quite alot in chapter two proves they are a couple even though they don’t have a history of hanging out together outside of work before chapter two. See how dumb it sounds? It makes no sense because for a romantic relationship to be plausible, there needs to be history and that is something that Taekook doesn’t have while Jikook have a lot of it, so Taekook could have hung out every single day in chapter two while jikook never hung out a single day in chapter two but that will still never mean that Taekook is real and Jikook never was.

Jimin and Jungkook had consistently prioritized being with or spending time with each other more than anyone else for years, so the fact that this abruptly stopped in chapter two, convinces me more than anything else that those two did not have a platonic relationship with each other and that something probably happened. Jimin isn’t the type to just stop hanging out with his friends and especially not Jungkook. He isn’t the type of person who is flaky in his relationships. He isn’t the type of person who doesn’t value friends and relationships in his life. Jimin did seem to make time for everyone else but just not much of Jungkook and we know that it’s not like there wasn’t a chance for them for them to meetup at all because even Jungkook had tried a few times to ask Jimin to come have chicken with him, come box with him, come do a Live with him, Jungkook even opted to go to Jimin but Jimin said no. I’m not going to pretend like I know what was going on with them because I obviously don’t but it is obvious that something was off.

I think that now, it makes more sense why we saw Jungkook obviously pining. It makes more sense why we saw him waking up at 4am to watch Jimin. It makes sense why we all saw him visibly glow up everytime he saw Jimin comment on his Lives. It make sense why he talked about Jimin so much because for two people who didn’t seem to care to reach out to each other, they both really seemed to have each other’s names in their mouths and thoughts alot especially Jungkook. It made alot of sense for Jk to mention Tae as much as he did because he hung out with him alot, but what was his reason for mentioning Jimin as much as he did when according to them they barely kept in toch with each other? What was his reason for sitting his ass down and watching Jimin centric videos as much as he did?

I think that something was off with Jimin and Jungkook at the beginning of the solo era but it seems like things went back to normal after their NY trip because we know for a fact that Jimin and Jungkook spent time together after that. Jimin spoke about always discussing music with Jk when they were together, we heard him singing 3D before it’s release date which means he had heard it and the most important thing….Jimin and Jungkook enlisted together. They wouldn’t have done that if they were not in a good place.

It’s important to note that we are all watching Jimin and Jungkook’s lives unfold before our various eyes and what this means is that, we would witness good, bad and ugly moments. We would witness moments of them being so in love with each other as well as those moments when something seems a little off. These are things that happen even in our own relationships and maybe if we all had our lives being broadcasted and we sat down to watch every action, word, facial expression, body language etc, we would be more understanding of these people. We wouldn’t be so quick to judge, to get annoyed, to accuse, or to jump into conclusions. We would understand that human beings are complex and life itself is not and will never be a one size fits all.

Seeing as we are still following the story, I guess we all would have to wait to see how things play out but for now, I think Jimin and Jungkook are good. I cannot say for sure what they are to each other (cause I really don’t know) but what I can say is that those two really love each other.