#i also started reading kings of sin and while I LOVE the first book i was bored with the second

[al-ghvl]

i caved and read this series two days ago… it ate tbh

I‘ve finished the Twisted Series and I loved it. I can‘t express how much I loved these books. They will forever be my favourite romance series.

[futurecorps3]

Hiii, could you write a nikokai fic where reader is like in love with kaz but he doesn't really pay attention to her. And then the crows meet sturmhond because of a heist and he takes interest in the reader form the first moment he sae her and makes her fall in love with him. And then whatever you want lol. Maybe kaz being jealous idk.

Sorry for any grammatical mistake, english it's not my first language.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞

Masterlist<3

Summary: After years of being in love with the one and only Kaz Brekker, breaking her own heart, Y/N meets someone else... Pairing: Sturmhond x fem!inferni!reader, Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

Warnings: The usual crow violence, DRINKING, jealous Kaz, mean Kaz, "unrequited" love for a little while, Matthias is alive and well like in the books duh but this is ofc before Nikolai becomes king, idc I just want my Fjerdan hunk happy in Ketterdam, curse words, kind of a messy timeline. HURT AND NO COMFORT. Lmk if I missed any.

Word Count: 2.9K!! Requested: Yes

A/N: IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! :( I've been looking forward to getting to this specific request because oh my god, also, I changed it up a little; making Kaz actually be in love with reader but never really trying anything. Tysm for requesting love! Hope you enjoy :)

˚ · • . °

Exhaustion. That's what she felt, and to be honest, it was even more frustrating when Y/N knew she was doing it to herself. Those persistent yet futile attempts at reading Kaz's silence or gaze as something else; a love message, a confession of his sins, any sign of vulnerability reserved for her. However, these attempts, though fervent, ultimately proved fruitless.

How could she confirm what she thought she saw if, after, say, he appeared distressed at her being in danger or fumed when some dick was being extra disgusting at the bar that night; he went back to being his usual cold self?

When she finally obtained concrete evidence that disproved her misconceptions ("Jesper, she prefers black coffee" or "Y/N, could you join me in my office for a moment?" simply to spend time together in quietude), he strategically distanced himself throughout the week, transforming those precious moments of tranquility and companionship into ordinary occurrences, leading her to, somehow, misunderstand them.

Another shot of vodka and the pain her thoughts evoked was replaced by the burning, bitter sensation in her tongue and throat. "A hangover won't make Kaz let you stay behind tomorrow, you know that?" Matthias smiled next to her.

Since he joined the crows, the Fjerdan had taken a special liking to his girlfriend's best friend; she was funny, kind hearted and could keep up his pace in drinking games. Nina couldn't be happier to see her loves get along so well, saying it's her dream come true. "Oh don't even start, Matthias" Y/N answered, feigning annoyance as she poured more of the burning liquid into her glass and pulled out another for her friend.

They silently toasted to nothing in particular and chatted about their books as they usually did. Matthias' romance novel had an interesting love triangle Y/N was eager to read when he was finished. From how he talked about it, the girl knew it was just her type of story. They were in the middle of a playful argument about a plot-hole Y/N thought she found when Kaz approached them.

His usual demeanor seemed a bit... shaken. If you asked the blonde, he'd say he only looked more agitated, but Y/N/N knew better; his hair was covering his forehead slightly, but he wasn't brushing it back. The limp was prominent still, yet he wasn't using his cane. Kaz was in a rush to get to her, maybe?.

"One of your fellow countrymen is starting a turmoil outside, doesn't speak Kerch. Will you please, for the tree's sake, go and talk some sense into his thick blonde skull?" Saints, why did she like him so much? Even like that, Y/N thought he looked rather divine. Matthias stood up from his seat and directed himself to the entrance.

"Since when do you care for what happens outside that door?" She asked with a grin, genuinely curious. "I wouldn't if he wasn't scaring off the pigeons. No wealthy tourist will endure the trouble that some drunk Fjerdan means just to get inside a place full of people that'll take his money" the boy explained, looking down at her.

Kaz's complexion, kissed by the soft glow of the candles, is pale yet flawless, as if untouched by the harshness of the world he inhabits. His sharp, well-defined features give him an air of enigmatic sophistication, further heightened by the way the light dances upon his cheekbones, emphasizing their elegant structure.

Y/N realizes she's staring. She looks away.

The bastard smirks. "Finding something intriguing, are we?" And oh, she wanted to stab him to see if that would wipe the stupid grin he carried. "Oh, please, Kaz. You give yourself too much credit. I was merely lost in thought, contemplating the mysteries of the world. Your face happened to be in the line of sight, that's all."

Quick, sarcastic answer, as if the seconds between her silence confirmed even further what he was saying. He scoffed, drinking the remains of alcohol on Matthias' glass and fixed his hair in the process. "Stop drinking, a hangover won't spare you from our meeting tomorrow".

˚ · • . °

She should've listened. The crashing waves outside only intensified the discomfort, while the salty breeze seemed to carry a tinge of regret. Even the beauty of the sea she was now too used to felt distant and inaccessible, overshadowed by the haze of her post-indulgence remorse.

Nina, taunting Matthias with a mature Ravkan song and Jesper shooting bottles in the warehouse, created an uneasy atmosphere for hungover Y/N. This unsettling environment made it difficult for her to focus on evaluating any potential deals they were to discuss with the privateer Kaz said they were meeting that day. Also, they had been waiting for over an fifteen minutes now! She was surprised Kaz was waiting still.

He checked his pocket watch subtly, sighing at the tardiness of their Ravkan guests. Then, he looked over at Y/N. Even with those deep baggy eyes and with her head on her hands in exasperation, she managed to awaken that odd feeling in his chest. He hated it. No, he despised it.

If he ever accepted that he was down hard for the girl, he could also get over the fact that she, too, liked him. Well, he wasn't dumb! There was no denying that Y/N's actions warmed his heart. He just knew loving was a dangerous thing to do, a weakness he couldn't afford after spending years building a reputation in Ketterdam.

Then came a loud bang on the heave wooden doors of the warehouse. "Fucking finally" Y/N sighed, going to open the door herself before anyone would, wanting nothing but to end this as soon as possible so she could go back home to sleep. She grabbed the handle and pulled, the bright light outside blinding her momentarily before seeing the privateer and his crew.

"Hello gorgeous! Here to see Mr. Brekker. I'm guessing you're one of his associates?" A sharp, slightly deep voice greeted. The girl shielded her eyes from the light and found captain smily offering his hand out. In Ketterdam, rumours ran as quick as blood on pavement; Sturmhond knew that. He needed no introduction. Every person involved in not so legal activities who didn't live under a rock had heard at least once about the dog of the sea.

She took it, shaking gently. "Y/N Y/L/N, but if you prefer nicknames, call me Haepha". Then she stepped aside, pretending not to notice the smirk on Sturmhond's face so his partners could come in. The rumors hadn't done justice to his captivating presence.

The charismatic privateer stood tall, his dark hair falling in unruly waves that added to his allure. His piercing blue eyes seemed to hold a world of secrets, and a mischievous smile played across his lips. Dressed in opulent garments that exuded confidence and flair, Sturmhond commanded attention with every step as his crew and he approached the rest of the crows.

"I'll stick to your name for now doll, too pretty not to use," And the bastard winked at Y/N, making a Shu girl who was walking behind him with the same confidence giggle. The worst thing about pretty men is they know they're pretty, and knew damn well how to get away with being cocky. She knew his type, so she brushed the wink off and walked towards her friends.

Kaz and Sturmhond shook hands. Everyone who was fast enough grabbed a seat in old boxes or even on the floor. Jesper offered Y/N his seat, knowing that the vodka she drank last night was no merciful rival, and stood behind her alongside his boyfriend. Inej lingered sitting in a window near them as Matthias and Nina remained standing, contrary to all the privateers' team.

Kaz started making introductions, all a mere formality, Y/N knew. "You've met Y/N, our inferni. Behind him are Jesper, sharp-shooter, and Wylan, our demo-man. The blonde wall-resembling man over there is Matthias, and Nina is a heartrender. Inej in the window, our Wraith" he pointed, everyone nodding or waving at the dark-haired man.

"A Wraith alright, didn't notice you were there sweetheart!" He pointed out and then introduced the twins; Tolya and Tamar. As well as Anya and Andrei, who were two members of his ship's company who wanted to come by and see who they were working with. When that was taken care of, plans were strategized by both leaders and positions were given to each member.

Y/N knew Kaz was characterized by having plans from A to Z for very elaborate heists, but even this one seemed out of his reach, almost too ambitious. But if Sturmhond's name lived up to the myth, nothing was quite impossible for him and Kaz's love for money could get him to plot even the tiniest detail.

Their objective this time was to steal some kind of jewel called "the moon's tears". It was a gem said to be worth four million kruge, to be bargained for even more; the crows' biggest heist yet. The vault it was in was widely known for its impenetrable security measures, including seemingly impenetrable barriers, intricate lock mechanisms, and a team of highly skilled guards.

Those two were absolutely insane! Even before one considered the noble who owned the vault and therefore the gem they were trying to steal, knew Kaz from the past. It was an extremely peculiar coincidence that a masquerade ball was taking place some distance away from the location of the vault, which represented the perfect opportunity for the work.

This would allow them to exploit the lack of security and sweep the gem away. Nina would ideally take care of the distraction, to keep the nobleman from returning home too quick, but her heartrending abilities would be helpful to make a quick work to make the few officers guarding the vault doze off.

So it became Y/N's job. A job she was to complete with Sturmhond.

After the meeting ended and Y/N's headache had worsened, a deep voice was heard from behind her. She turned to find the charming privateer flashing a smile at her. "Looking forward to working with you, darling" He commented, offering his hand out and all. She took it and shook half-heartedly, eager to just go home and sleep for the rest of the evening.

"Me too, handsome" Irony laced in her tone. "Doesn't seem like it, you alright? You look like a ghost. Lovely, yes, but still ghostly" The comment made her smile, tightening the grasp on his hand but not shaking anymore "Just hungover s'all" "Told you so!" Jesper proclaimed from their side as everyone directed themselves to the door.

The privateer smiled sweetly. "Got any plans this evening?" "Other than rotting in my room until my body stops hurting? Not really. Why?" Y/N looked down briefly, realizing she still hadn't let go of his hand and then released her grasp "Well, if my days at sea have thought me anything other than how to read the stars..." he started, tapping the necklace with a star charm the girl sported.

A "gift" from Kaz (some jewelry that wasn't redeemed from a heist he let her keep). "...is how to cure a hangover. Mind coming with me to a bar? You can decide which". Going to a bar with a complete stranger who had a reputation of being in trouble most of the time and who she were to work with? Sure thing.

"Promise youll make it go away?" "Promise".

˚ · • . °

And what a plot twist he was. Jesper had jokingly said to the girl that she shouldn't take a privateer's word but he did termiante her hangover with some strange, black-ish liquid she didn't dare to ask the composition of. Then they drank more.

As the drinks arrived, they raised their glasses, the clink of crystal breaking the spell of their silent connection. Sturmhond smiled, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "To new adventures and unexpected encounters," he proposed, his voice smooth and velvety.

Y/N couldn't help but return the smile, feeling the warmth of excitement spread through her veins. "To embracing the unknown," she replied, raising her glass in agreement. They took a sip, the flavors dancing on their tongues. A comfortable silence settled between them, allowing the sounds of the bar to envelop them. After a moment, Sturmhond leaned in, his voice low and captivating.

"So, Y/N, what brings you to this lawless corner of the world?". He asked, genuine curiosity lacing his words. Y/N's eyes sparkled as she recounted her journey, the challenges she faced, and the dreams that fueled her determination. Sturmhond listened intently, his attention unwavering, as if she held the secrets of a hidden treasure.

As she spoke, Y/N couldn't help but notice the genuine interest in Sturmhond's eyes. He asked thoughtful questions and shared stories of his own adventures, effortlessly weaving tales of daring escapades that left Y/N hanging on his every word.

The conversation flowed effortlessly, a seamless exchange of ideas, dreams, and aspirations. Time seemed to melt away as they delved into deeper discussions, finding solace in the connection they were building. Laughter intertwined with their words, a symphony of shared amusement and understanding.

They became lost in each other's company, entranced by the way their thoughts aligned and their hearts danced to the same rhythm. And as the night wore on, their conversation continued, their new found connection growing stronger with every passing moment.

She couldn't help but think of Kaz, when exiting the bar, and on the way back to The Slat. When would he ever, in a million years, make her feel so seen? How could he? He seemed to be nothing but cold and a bad type of confusing to the girl.

Y/N was not blind, either. Sturmhond was known for his endless romantic encounters with women across the sea, and he was interested in her. Now, she could not deny the guy was a charming boy too pretty for this Earth, sharp as a knife and, as she found out that evening, shared a lot of ideals and interests with her.

Could he maybe work as a rebound? Maybe. Would she shamelessly use him as that? Could be. Having his eyes on her that whole meeting was no coincidence, and she liked his attention. Maybe what mends a broken heart was a handsome privateer.

They agreed to meet up the next day, his treat.

˚ · • . °

Back at the Slat, Kaz was fuming. No, not fuming; seething. A bar outing? She just met him! He could not believe his eyes when they were talking hand in hand like they had known each other from a previous lifetime.

In the little time that had passed since (most of) the crows had returned from the meeting, Kaz had already gotten four drunks kicked out, death-stared a group of dregs twice so they'd shorten their break time to get them to work and downed four vodka shots.

Why was he this mad? She wasn't even his and as far as she knew; he had no intentions of being hers either. The boy couldn't be mad at her, but he was, and Kaz knew very well he was being a big selfish shit. He could not blame Y/N either; the bastard she had been crushing on gives no signs of interest but a privateer handsome as the devil shows up with his attention completely focused on her? Of course she'd fall.

He just hated that feeling.

It's presence looms, heavy and suffocating, wrapping its tendrils around the heart, constricting with an iron grip. It whispers sweet poison into the mind, distorting reality and fueling irrational fears. Like a tempestuous storm, it rages within, lightning crackling with envy, thunder rumbling with resentment. It paints the world in hues of green, tarnishing every joyous moment with a bitter aftertaste.

And then his heart sunk into the depths of his dark soul when he saw them walk in hand in hand. That was the first time Y/N had walked into a room and not looked for him, he noticed. She was laughing at something Sturmhond had said as they walked up the stairs until they reached the door of Y/N's room. He kissed her hand and she kissed his cheek.

The privateer then walked down the stairs, noticing Kaz staring.

"She's one of a kind, that one... Might stay a bit more after the job's done. See you tomorrow, Brekker"

The feeling was now leaving an empty, bottomless void in his soul. He bottomed his shot glass then poured another one.

˚ · • . °

Time kept ticking and the void intensified, but Kaz learnt how to deal with it.

He learnt how to deal with it when he kissed her after the job was done.

He learnt how to deal with it when Y/N took a break from the crows to leave with him for six months.

He learnt how to deal with it when she returned from her trip, beautiful tan skin and a diamond on her finger.

He learnt how to deal with it when he saw her crying herself to sleep because she missed him.

He learnt how to deal with it when she left for good.

He learnt how to deal with it when she was named queen of Ravka.

Kaz just learnt how to live with the shame and regret of not recognizing that the one thing he needed was right in front of him, hoping she'd have a place next to him.

˚ · • . ° .

Hi! Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed:) I'm actually sorry for this one...

Remember, the best way to support writer’s works on here is by REBLOGGING WITH TAGS. I’d very much appreciate it if you did!

Thanks again, stranger. Hope you have a nice day<3

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO REPOST AS THEIR OWN/TRANSLATE/OR COPY MY WORK IN ANY PLATFORM OR SPACE WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT CONSENT.

[kaledya]

Hey friend, I want to ask you some things about Constantine, I'm planning on making a FanFic about his way from Kid to Prince (Before he re encounters with Charlie).

1. How was his training? Was he trained by Lucifer? Or by Satan?, or by every single Deadly Sin?

2. Why did he lose his Humanity so much? Are there any specific or lots of events that relate to that?

3. When and which enemies he destroyed? If you don’t have it specified don’t worry, this is because after all nobody who fought him lived to tell it.

4. (This one is optional), Would you like to have something important on it? Something you would enjoy? Be honest, after all Constantine is your character.

First of all, I am very glad to hear that you want to write a fafic about him! And of course I will be happy to answer your questions!

1.

In terms of knowledge, he was usually educated by the leading sages of Hell (he had a different teacher for each subject, so he had a well-rounded education) and Lucifer taught him what he knew as much as he could (how to use his powers, how to be a king), while Lilith taught him how to behave in politics, ) Satan was the one who taught Constantine's perception of power in general, Constantine was a person who thought that power came only from knowledge, Satan taught him that power was only power, showed him that he could not survive with only knowledge and taught him that fear was stronger than love and respect.

He also learnt from Leviathan about education and science. He was not very close to the other sins in terms of education. When Constantine went to visit his aunt, it was one of the rare times when he was a child and not a prince, Bee tried to make Constantine happy, not to educate him.

2.

In general, the way he was raised and the training he received did this to him. Lilith and Lucifer had no evil intentions, they wanted their sons to be safe and strong, but they realised a little late that they were destroying the humanity in Constantine with their actions, and when they realised, they were at a point where they could no longer go back, but on the bright side, they did not follow the same thing with Charlie. Plus Constantine was already born with a superior intelligence, which made him less empathetic as he grew up, which came with the responsibilities of being a prince, so he had to grow up early because he had too much on him as a child. And even a normal prince would have to harden himself and control his emotions and act rationalistically in order to rule. Constantine was the prince of hell, surrounded by monsters and nobles waiting to see a weakness in him, and if he wanted to defeat the monsters, he had to become one of them. And Constantine did this, he hardened himself until his weakness or emotions were minimised.

The only person that constantine behaves with his sincere personality is his sister Charlie, I can even say that the face that constantine shows to Charlie is so different that Charlie almost does not recognise her brother at the royal meetings. (In the very later parts of the series, they start to develop a relationship with Serenity like Sherlock and Watson. but this is a very slow developing friendship)

and btw I was inspired to write Constantine by these two books maybe it helps to understand him!

3.Sometimes some demons decide to cross the line and Constantine can execute them. There is no one specific one at the moment, only Lucifer or Charlie can defeat Constantine, no one else in Hell is crazy enough to try to fight him. At least not yet.

4.Thank you for asking but no I've got nothing to add at the moment., and Constantine is my character, yes. but this is your fanfic, you can do whatever you want as long as you keep his personality, have fun! And when you're done writing and publish it on ao3 please tag me on tw and I look forward to reading it!

[lucythornwalter]

Wait a minute, I hear you say. Why are we starting with Felicity? She’s neither the first girl to be released (that’s technically a three-way tie, but the honor is usually given to Kirsten) nor the earliest chronologically (that would be Kaya). What is it about her that means she deserves the first entries in this project?

Well, she might not be the first for Pleasant Company, but she was the first for me. In 1998, when I was five years old, I saw a single volume of one of Felicity’s books in a spinning book rack at a Hallmark store, and I asked my mother to buy it for me based on the cover art and the title (it was Felicity Saves the Day, and the cover features her riding a horse and looking determined but frightened). I read it in the car, and then read it again, and read it again. I was already fascinated by history and specifically by material history, by books about ordinary life in the past and books about artifacts and customs. An Usborne book about life in the medieval era was one of my favorites, alongside another Usborne book about world geography that talked about languages and religious beliefs. I also loved children’s-aimed history books and movies like An American Tail, even as much of the subtle commentary went over my head. I loved The Wizard of Oz and its period setting, and this was also the year I discovered Annie through the 1998 Wonderful World of Disney adaptation. In 1999 I became hooked on A Little Princess and The Secret Garden, and Cosette from Les Misérables and a kids’ graphic novel adaptation of Oliver Twist. I had a box set of the Little House books and had a favorite (On the Banks of Plum Creek, if you were curious. Yes, I’m aware of the irony of being indigenous and liking these books as a kid, but my parents were more concerned with making sure I never watched the turboracist Westerns when they came on TV, and by comparison the near-absence of Native people in the Little House books was pretty tame).

Essentially, I was exactly the kind of person who’d become fully fixated on the American Girl books, and on opinionated and spunky heroines like Felicity in particular.

So. Who is Felicity Merriman?

Felicity Merriman is the eldest child of Edward and Martha Merriman, who live and work in Williamsburg in 1774. Edward Merriman is a genteel tradesman who owns a prosperous general store, and Martha is the daughter and probable only surviving child of an unnamed Virginia planter who owns a substantial estate called King’s Creek. Felicity’s younger siblings are Nan, William, and Polly. Her best friend is Elizabeth Cole, a recently-arrived new colonist from England whose family is deeply loyal to the British crown. Her books are primarily about struggling to find her place as a straightforwardly masc-of-center tomboy who prefers crossdressing and working in the trades to mending and cooking, and about the social divides caused by growing anti-monarchist sentiment in the American colonies and how her friendships and morals are impacted by the political turmoil.

Felicity Merriman is also a slaveowner, from a slaveowning family, and at no point do the original six books manage to address this. In fact, they actively avoid it – the status of her father’s assistant Marcus as an enslaved person is only confirmed in the “Looking Back: A Peek Into the Past” section of Meet Felicity once, and while it’s acknowledged that King’s Creek Plantation is a slave-worked plantation with slave quarters, the text of Felicity Saves the Day never states outright that she interacts with slaves despite the illustrations depicting her in the fields alongside them. There’s a darker-skinned woman named Rose who assists her mother domestically, and unlike Marcus she is never confirmed to be either enslaved or free, forcing me to come to the conclusion that she’s probably also owned by the Merriman household and thus by Felicity.

This is the original and damning sin of Felicity’s books and character concept, and it cannot be escaped. Felicity’s social status protects her from a lot of misbehavior and allows her the luxury of a leisurely girlhood with easy education and no expectation that she work for a living beyond being a genteel housewife. She has to pitch in around the house along with her mother and Rose, but she has plenty of time to ride horses and play with her siblings, and she gets away with doing nothing all summer while her laundry and mending and food are all magically done with no effort from her.

This is also one of the twin original and damning sins of America-as-settler-colony – the irony of slaveowners calling for and fighting for a narrow definition of freedom with broad ideals that they only want to take for themselves is at this point a very old topic of conversation. The other sin, the theft of land and the genocide of Native people, isn’t mentioned at all in Felicity’s books. Felicity Saves the Day is at least conscious of the casual cruelty of the Merrimans and devotes much of its Looking Back chapter to discussion of plantation life for slaves, but the only mention indigenous people get is a comment in Meet Felicity that we lived in North America for fifteen thousand years prior to European settlement. Where did we go? What happened to us? Pleasant Company isn’t that concerned with the question.

As a result, Felicity’s books are best read with something of a critical eye. Once you see how completely and how purposefully slavery is erased from her daily life, it becomes impossible to ignore, and kind of drowns out all the other things that are still excellent. And that’s a real shame, I think. There’s a lot to be examined here, about girlhood in the 1770s and girlhood in the 1990s, about class and gender and how those things impact and frustrate Felicity, about how she grows in confidence and about her sense of justice. Those things had an impact on me – I was inspired by her at five years old and I can recognize that fondness and desire to be just like her now, twenty-six years later.

Ultimately, I can love and appreciate what I, personally, internalized about her story and her journey to womanhood, but I’m never going to be able to uncritically lose myself in her world again. That’s the best and most comprehensive introduction I can give, and even that isn’t enough to effectively answer for what Pleasant Company chose to do. I can’t defend it, and I won’t defend it, but this was neither the first nor last book series I loved that was written by racists. I love it enough to say it fucked up badly, and I will be talking about this as it comes up (or doesn’t) in the text. That’s the best I can offer.

So let’s Meet Felicity.

[vvatchword]

Paradise Lost, Book 2 (Non-Zoot Edition): Sin Addresses Satan; Satan Allies with Chaos

<- Part 2 || Back to the Beginning || Part 4 ->

I'm not zooted for this one, I just want to talk about it.

Keep in mind this is flow-of-consciousness, so I write down exactly what I think, and then later I sometimes discover i am wrong roflll

“O Father, what intends thy hand,” she cried, Against thy only Son? What fury O Son, Possesses thee to bend that mortal Dart Against thy Father’s head? And know’st for whom; For him who sits above and laughs the while At thee ordain’d his drudge, to execute What e’er his wrath, which he calls Justice, bids, His wrath which one day will destroy ye both.”

“To execute/what e’er his wrath, which he calls Justice” is a metal line and she IS NOT LYING

I am continually struck by how all of these characters have not only acknowledged that God cannot be defeated, they’ve always known God couldn’t be defeated. They still fought him anyway. If I were reading this in a less fantastic setting, I would be like: “M-hmm I feel like a few important documents are missing.”

Another interesting trait: all of these characters know the future. Sometimes it’s awkward—for example, they spend most of Book 2 trying to figure out what to do after falling from heaven, then wax eloquent about events that haven’t happened yet.

It’s hard to know how much was intentional here, and how much was just done in the spirit of the thing, but you know that saying: “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day”? (2 Peter 3:8) It’s like these characters are not only devil-and-angel at once, but also every form of themselves from beginning to end. They haven’t yet committed horrors on the human race, but they also have. (This is not free will.)

This book makes constant asides as to God’s greatness. Everybody stops to talk him up—and by “everybody,” I mean “every single devil who gets a speech.” We haven’t had a single “good guy” yet: the only glory given to God that has been from a non-devil is Milton himself. While speaking of God, the devils’ tones rarely feel sullen or angry; instead, they feel very rote and matter-of-fact, as though they’re reading lines out of an encyclopedia. This is just the way the world is, and all the characters accept what is natural.

That’s dissonant on multiple levels. First, these devils literally JUST tried to overthrow Heaven (aka the ideal version of the world, the world-as-it-should-be). Second, given how absolutely broken the devils sound when they give their speeches—the ways they attempt to soothe themselves and comprehend their failure, added to their sudden comprehension of time (did eternity need to be invoked in heaven or Paradise until the birth of pain?)—these acknowledgments of God’s superiority ring false, like another scribe popped in and wrote BUT DON’T WORRY—

I’m trying to figure out Milton’s motivations here. Did he want to reassure the reader, the publisher, a religious authority, or himself? Keep in mind this was published back in a day where “freedom of expression” was not a thing.

By invoking the importance of the monarchy over and over, this may be Milton's attempt to say: "Mr. King sir, this is not supposed to be a story about your overthrow. Please do not kill me."

I’ve also started wondering about the political realities of when this was published. This feels extremely Protestant. Hey Wikipedia whaddaya say

[Milton scholar John] Leonard speculates that the English Civil War interrupted Milton's earliest attempts to start his “epic [poem] that would encompass all space and time”.

YEAH THERE IT IS

This book was published in 1667… by Peter Parker. Aw yeah :) With great power comes great abuse :))))

I also didn’t know Milton was freaking blind! You know, that fits; the story’s rhythm begs to be read out loud. I love the imagery that painters came up with: Milton dictating Paradise Lost to his daughters. I don’t know that this actually happened, but it’s kinda cool. Sounds like a callback to Homer so I’m a little wary—you know how people are.

Milton Dictating to His Daughter, Henry Fuseli (1794)

I bet this is exactly how he looked too.

HEEEGUUUGGHRRRHHHHH

Also, I just discovered that CS Lewis wrote a preface to Paradise Lost. I adored him as a child. I’m definitely reading that at some point.

Anyway, want to go back to reading Paradise Lost? I DO. Remember where we were? The snake-assed lady whose vagine is a Cerberi doghouse? Well, the devil asks who she and this Dart-wielding shade are…

Without research, I’m guessing the “dart” is a spear. The other option is an arrow, which sounds significantly less dangerous, and no bow is mentioned. I mean, you can still stab someone to death with an arrow, it just seems kinda silly. It’s like running at someone and jamming a bullet into their eye.

Of course, it may be meant to be an arrow. There’s a famous image in Revelations I can’t stop thinking about: the white horseman (commonly interpreted as Jesus—Revelation 6:2) comes out with a bow, but no arrows or quiver.

Holy shit, if you put Jesus and Death together you get a bow and an arrow and the arrow is death

I’m just kidding please ignore everything I say

[The devil asks: who the fuck are you guys and why are you calling me father?] T’ whom thus the Portress of Hell Gate reply’d: “Hast thou forgot me then, and do I seem Now in thine eye so foul, once deem’d so fair In Heav’n, when at th’ Assembly, and in sight Of all the Seraphim with thee combin’d In bold conspiracy against Heav’n’s King, All on a sudden miserable pain Surpris’d thee, dim thine eyes, and dizzy swum In darkness, while thy head flames thick and fast Threw forth, ’til on the left side op’ning wide, Likest to thee in shape and count’nance bright, Then shining heav’nly fair, a Goddess arm’d Out of thy head I sprung: amazement seiz’d All th’ Host of Heav’n; back they recoil’d afraid At first, and call’d me Sin, and for a Sign Portentous held me…

Suddenly, allegory!

I’ve been researching allegory lately—not well, and piecemeal—but I’ve been interested in its function, as well as what makes a good allegory and what makes a bad one. Now, before this point, I would have said that an allegory encloses the entire narrative, not just a part of it. But here we have traditional characters (Satan, Beelzebub, etc), all of whom Milton intended as representations of real spiritual beings, and all of a sudden: the allegorical representations of Sin and Death. They are not just characters, they are concepts—and yet I’d say they belong here. I feel like I can almost put a finger on why…

Was Milton a Biblical literalist? I really don’t know. There are most likely cultural and historical differences I’m missing here. I’m sure that, if Milton were a literalist, it would not be like that of the evangelicals we see today. Evangelical literalism is a particularly stupid, flat kind, and I’m not sure it was that simple back in 1660s England.

Another neat little factoid: a lot of Paradise Lost heralds back to the epic poetry of the Greeks and Romans, right? Who else sprang fully-formed from a forehead? Athena from Zeus! So this is a great callback and recontextualizing of an old myth, setting Lucifer on par with The Rapist King.

One big theme of Book 1’s was that all the other gods of the world are demons—every one of them. So Sin popping out, appearing godlike—for a moment, just like Satan himself—is a hell of a backslap. Athena was a virgin god of wisdom. You’re about to see what happens to Sin (hint: she’s a ho)

I suppose it is also possible that this is an attempt of Milton’s to represent an evolution of theology. Speaking of CS Lewis: Lewis believed that all Classical myth was composed of spiritual half-truths—like the ancient pagan faiths of the improperly-godded Classical peoples were reaching for that absolute truth of Christ, and were unable to because he hadn’t been born yet. According to Lewis, all these old faiths would ultimately be brought together under the umbrella of the Christian God’s single one. It’s one reason why Chronicles of Narnia is full of mythological beasts particular to the Greeks and Romans.

What do you mean, “what about the Jews? Weren’t the Jews around in ancient Rome? And at the time of ancient Greece for that matter?” Girl I don’t remember it’s been a minute and this is just me talking shit into the ether and I’m not even zooted right now

“…but familiar grown, I pleas’d, and with attractive graces won The most averse, thee chiefly, who full oft Thyself in me thy perfect image viewing Becam’st enamour’d, and such joy thou took’st With me in secret, that my womb conceiv’d A growing burden.

“Proshippers DNI/Sinatan shippers DNI”

Can we please appreciate “my womb conceiv’d/a growing burden.” That’s so pretty.

“Meanwhile War arose, And fields were fought in Heav’n; wherein remain’d (For what could else) to our Almighty Foe Clear Victory, to our part loss and rout Through all the Empyrean…

Back to the devil and his minions throwing in little asides about how great God is. Does this feel weird to you, too? It’s disingenuous. Every time you’re just about to accept the demons and hell-born as characters with full interior worlds, they give up on themselves. Characters should be selfish, self-oriented, self-protective. These characters keep stopping to bare their throats.

So why did these demons turn against God if they knew they were going to fail?

I mention this because Paradise Lost waffles about “free will” a lot. At first, I thought the devil mentioned “free choice” because “choice” was an inherently fallen concept, but then I remembered that Adam has a whole conversation with an angel and “free will” is uttered as a benefit.

Here’s a fun verse—one of many, they’re everywhere—that Milton was probably trying to invoke:

The Lord has made everything for its own purpose, even the wicked for the day of evil. Proverbs 16:4

That’s very cool. thanks God. Hey free will isn’t free if you brutally punish anyone who sticks a toe out of your arbitrary line you fucking asshole

“…down they fell Driv’n headlong from the Pitch of Heaven, down Into this Deep…

If you repeat this line out loud, it will heal you of all wounds. How do poets talk about this shit properly? I don’t have the language to describe why it’s good. It hurts, it’s so tasty. I started salivating like this was a delicious cookie. That delicious alliteration. Those hard d’s. HEA(D)long, then HEA(V)en. Soft f’s (fell, from). “Driv’n”, then “Heaven.” “Down” repeated twice, both times beginning a phrase. Long phrase, short phrase—the long fall, the hard stop; hard “d” to soft “v.” You can feel the drop.

I don’t know how to explain this so say it out loud ok

“…and in the general fall I also; at which time this powerful Key Into my hand was giv’n, with charge to keep These Gates for ever shut, which none can pass Without my op’ning.”

A woman who is also an opening. That’s really neat. Oh shit Jesus knocks down the gates of hell, right? Does this imply yet more rape or… yeeeeahhhhhh

Again, I’m struck by how the wicked are the tools of God as soon as the angels are. Why does Sin have to keep this key? What stops her from tossing that shit away? What stops her from opening the gates of Hell and leaving?

The glib answer is, “God does.” However, this wouldn’t be completely fair to say. Allegorical limitations apply here: Sin is not a full character.

Now, as Sin is a concept in this case, it’s like she’s transformed Satan into an allegorical concept by proxy: only by Sin might we allow Satan in. Nice.

It’s like… a tiny allegorical universe for a moment. A wee allegorical nugget.

“Pensive here I sat Alone, but long I sat not, ’til my womb Pregnant by thee, and now excessive grown Prodigious motion felt and rueful throes.

No. No I hate this. Stop

“At last this odious offspring whom thou seest Thine own begotten, breaking violent way Tore through my entrails…

remember Alien? Unfortunate

“…that with fear and pain Distorted, all my nether shape thus grew Transform’d: but he my inbred enemy…

I know we’re very grossed out but can we appreciate this use of the word “inbred” for a moment

“Forth issu’d, brandishing his fatal Dart Made to destroy: I fled, and cri’d out ‘Death’; Hell trembl’d at the hideous Name, and sigh’d From all her Caves, and back resounded ‘Death.’

Remember the “execrable shape” and the “miscreated Front”? I laughed about it, but Milton was being literal: what else could the devil say about Death? Death is a haze without meaningful form. Death can take whatever form he needs to do what he must. And, in this case, Death is greater than his father. He’s an anti-Jesus.

I also love the use of echo. The feeling of resignation and acceptance… just mwah, mwah.

“I fled, but he pursu’d (though more, it seems, Inflam’d with lust than rage) and swifter far, Me overtook—his mother!—all dismayed, And in embraces forcible and foul Engend’ring with me, of that rape begot These yelling Monsters that with ceaseless cry Surround me, as thou sawst, hourly conceiv’d And hourly born…”

Oh no. Oh no no no. Noooooo

So for the record, this is Death repeatedly raping Sin, who then gives birth to dogs on the hour, every hour, for the rest of eternity. Why dogs? Because nobody wants that.

Let’s take a step back from the allegory for a second, because we can. What did Sin do that was wrong? She was literally formed without choice. She had no choice in her nature and she had no choice in what happened to her. It’s debatable she wanted to fuck Satan. It is possible she did nothing but be born and ravished.

Yes I know she’s a concept, but she’s also playing a character here. If you didn’t want me to feel sorry for Sin you shouldn’t have made her a person. Also, the way Sin is being treated is considered an acceptable punishment. The devil characters, who can be treated purely as characters, are being punished by Milton in what he perceives as acceptable ways, and it’s arguable his audience would think similarly.

If God can treat the devils like this, there's no reason he can't treat us like this.

God is a fucking monster y’all. He’s the equivalent of every redneck who fantasizes about killing an Evildoer. Except then he MADE the Evildoer so he could purposely kill them. Worse than that: he made the Evildoer so he could make them suffer.

You ever see someone write so well they fuck up their own propaganda

“…with sorrow infinite To me, for when they list into the womb That bred them they return, and howl and gnaw My bowels, their repast; then burst forth Afresh with conscious terrors vex me ’round, That rest or intermission none I find.

Heeeyyyy are you supposed to feel sorry for Sin?

According to a quote of CS Lewis’ (from Wikipedia. Again, I’m not trying to do a great job here, I’m just fucking around, who even gives a shit), contemporaries of Paradise Lost would have known there were moments they were Supposed to Feel Certain Things, and that the Devil would be considered Bad right away, without any character-building whatsoever.

This is absolutely true. I’m coming to this slow realization that Paradise Lost exhibits traits of both modern narratives—where a character’s quality is SHOWN by their behavior, which includes their dialogue, which may not be trustworthy—and those of allegories, an older literary form. Allegories of the old days were far more straightforward, with characters written to be as one-dimensional and obvious as possible. Nobody wanted to be misunderstood.

However, this is also such a tone-deaf and willfully stupid take that I reject it in part. Look, Lewis was smart, but he would twist himself into a pretzel before he’d admit God could be a fucker: contemporary readers of this book definitely had problems with the devil’s part, and the devil’s complex qualities are part of the book’s draw. I’d argue that the devil is probably the only reason we’re still talking about Paradise Lost today—plenty of good shit was being written back in Milton’s day, and you have to dig to find it. Why did Paradise Lost not fall into a dark pit where only researchers go? It’s not because its first readers decided altogether to read it in a single manner most pleasing.

People are not monoliths guys. Movements are born and slow evolutions turned.

“Before mine eyes in opposition sits Grim Death my Son and foe, who sets them on, And me his Parent would full soon devour For want of other prey, but that he knows His end with mine involv’d; and knows that I Should prove a bitter Morsel, and his bane, When ever that shall be; so Fate pronounc’d.

This is simultaneously horrible, beautiful, and the most metal thing I’ve ever read.

Sin’s longing for cannibalism is the first overt sign of her interior monstrousness (unless she desired the incest, anyway).

This is a reminder to me that to appear ugly or distasteful was often used as a sign in old literature that someone is trash. It’s not a new concept. People confuse personal discomfort with truth all the time.

I am also reminded of the qualities of old allegorical literature. Dialogue wasn’t used to expand on a character’s inner world—it was used like an encyclopedia entry, to deliver clearcut information. The character was not a person, the character was a concept, and nobody was confused about that.

I just had an interesting thought: does Paradise Lost represent a kind of middle ground between older allegorical works and more modern character-driven works?

Wait, if she wishes she could eat Death, why did she stop him from fighting Satan

I mean, Death would win, but… I don’t know. A slave to the narrative? Yeah, probably an allegorical limitation. Allegorical symbols can’t break character or they cease being allegorical. This is one of their major limitations and it’s why writing an allegory that isn’t hamfisted is like scooping your eyes out with hot spoons. I’m starting to see how it’s unwise to just throw a random allegorical character in with a bunch of Normies: first, because they’re limited; they often can’t act like people. Second, what does that say about the rest of the narrative? It opens a can of worms. The artificial limitations of the devils suddenly becomes suspect. The allegory struggles to stretch beyond its tiny nugget prison.

“But thou O Father, I forewarn thee, shun His deadly arrow…”

Oh… ok :(

goofy-ass specter running at the devil with a goddamn arrow

I mean, it’ll work.

“…neither vainly hope To be invulnerable in those bright Arms, Though temper’d heav’nly, for that mortal dint, Save he who reigns above, none can resist.”

Every now and then, you get a hint as to how a word has evolved. Today, we think of “arms” as weaponry; here, Milton uses it to refer to “armor.” As for “dint”, it could go either as “blow, stroke” (the archaic reading, according to my dictionary) or as “force, power.” Also according to my dictionary, this is where “dent” came from (take this with a grain of salt lol).

I don’t know, it’s very cool.

She finish’d, and the subtle Fiend his lore Soon learned, now milder, and thus answer’d smooth.

I love the current-day connotations of the word “lore.” It makes this kind of funny.

Reading on, I’m honestly not sure if he believes Sin or not. You think you’d remembering fucking your brainchild. Then again, this is Hell; the characters exist in a weird between place. It’s possible that in the spirit world, concepts can be people… perhaps the nature of the spiritual is its adherence to the ideal (both ideal Wickedness and Holiness).

What makes this even harder to understand is: where does Milton intend for double-meaning and earnestness to reside? I ask because it was the style of allegories and parables to be rather straight-forward, as Lewis said. But these characters are sometimes almost modern, with clear snark and ulterior motives.

“Dear Daughter, since thou claim’st me for thy Sire, And my fair Son here showst me, the dear pledge Of dalliance had with thee in Heav’n, and joys Then sweet, now sad to mention, through dire change Befall’n us unforeseen, unthought of,

Smooth.

“…know I come no enemy, but to set free From out this dark and dismal house of pain,

Wait a minute. Is this where House of Pain got their name. IS THIS WHERE HOUSE OF PAIN

(I looked it up. It’s from HG Wells’ The Island of Dr. Moreau, which is just as weird.)

“Both him and thee, and all the heav’nly Host Of Spirits that in our just pretenses arm’d Fell with us from on high: from them I go This uncouth errand sole, with lonely steps to tread Th’ unfounded deep, and through the void immense To search with wand’ring quest…

“From there I go—this uncouth errand sole,” is what I’ll say when I’m heading out on errands from now on.

“…a place foretold Should be, and, by concurring signs, ere now Created vast and round, a place of bliss In the Purlieus of Heav’n…

I had to look up a word. “Purlieu” means “the ground on the edges of a forest, especially when partly subject to the same forest laws concerning game hunting, etc” or “the outskirts of any place; an adjacent district; the environs or neighborhood.”

I really like the implication of “at the edge of law.” That’s what God keeps coming down to—that’s what the book keeps coming back to: the battle between law and anarchy.

“…and therein plac’d A race of upstart Creatures…

fuck yeah. fuck you satan

“…to supply Perhaps our vacant room, though more remov’d, Least Heav’n surcharg’d with potent multitude Might hap to move new broiles…

I had to look up “broiles,” and in the process, discovered what may be the best dictionary of all time: Shakespeare’s Words.

“Broil” once meant “turmoil, confused fighting, battle.”

“…be this or aught Then this more secret now design’d, I haste To know, and this once known, shall soon return, And bring ye to the place where Thou and Death Shall dwell at ease…”

This section is so delicious.

First, Satan is schmoozing, 1000%. We only know this because he first talked shit to Death and Sin, and has now changed his tune. That said, it’s wildly unclear what his motivations are, half because he’s talking to literal allegorical figures. Once allegories get involved, they are stringently policed: neither Sin nor Death can be surprising to us. They will exhibit all the traits of their counterparts as understood by Milton’s version of Protestant Christianity. Their purpose is edification and education. An allegory is an encyclopedic entry given flesh.

Second, for what purpose does Satan offer these things? To pay them off? Probably. Does he offer them because he has grown a heart? No, probably not. Is he just offering what these characters want to hear? Probably. But, as you’ll soon see, he’s not lying. Does he know he’s not lying?

“…and up and down unseen Wing silently the buxom Air…

“Buxom” used to mean “lively, cheerful, bright,” not BIG OL TITTIES

“…embalm’d With odors; there ye shall be fed and fill’d Immeasurably, all things shall be your prey.”

We know, because we are inundated with Christianity in this country, that he’s telling the truth. He’s explaining that once Sin and Death are free, they’ll be free to feed on the Earth.

Is he telling what he perceives as truth, or is he promising pie in the sky?

If we were to be blitheringly flat, like Lewis, we’d recognize Satan’s speech as literal: he’s offering a promise he can keep; he understands what is going to happen before it ever happens. But because he’s complex, and started off his speech with flattery, I’m also not completely sure—I can only know by reading on and finding out if he spoke the truth.

Of equal interest: Satan is also doing right by his baby mama and weird fucking son. Sure, he’s talking shit, but he’s also taking responsibility.

Just. Kinda weird situation all told.

He ceas’d, for both seem’d highly pleas’d, and Death Grinn’d horrible a ghastly smile, to hear His famine should be fill’d, and blest his maw Destin’d to that good hour…

God I love this description. I love how Death contains “famine”, how he blesses his empty throat with promises of glut.

…no less rejoic’d His mother bad, and thus bespake her Sire. “The key of this infernal Pit by due, And by command of Heav’n’s all-powerful King I keep, by him forbidden to unlock These Adamantine Gates; against all force Death ready stands to interpose his dart, Fearless to be o’ermatched by living might.

One guy with one arrow versus everybody.

It’s all right, tell me how it goes

“But what owe I to his commands above Who hates me, and hath hither thrust me down Into this gloom of Tartarus profound, To sit in hateful Office here confin’d, Inhabitant of Heav’n, and heav’nly-born, Here in perpetual agony and pain, With terrors and with clamors compass’d round Of mine own brood, that on my bowels feed…

OH MY GOD SHE’S DOING IT

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

On that note: are you saying. That if God had maybe. Not been incredibly cruel to Sin. We may not have had Sin

Lewis would say something about how Sin had made her choice, and about how the brutalities wreaked against her were her own fault somehow, and that her nature was inherently wicked, so she would be wicked even when shown mercy. Then he'd end up with "it's an allegory anyway"

The problem with this is a) Christianity is about forgiving people who have committed some real humdingers, so this is logically dissonant, and b) so far, God hasn’t just punished: he has been nasty and cruel. The only love I have seen is between devils. If this is propaganda for God it’s not doing a very good job

“Thou art my Father, thou my Author, thou My being gav’st me; whom should I obey But thee, whom follow? Thou wilt bring me soon To that new world of light and bliss, among The Gods who live at ease, where I shall Reign At thy right hand voluptuous, as beseems Thy daughter and thy darling, without end.”

YES

Kinda weird but YES

Don’t take shit from that asshole lady he sucks

Thus saying, from her side the fatal Key, Sad instrument of all our woe, she took; And towards the Gate rolling her bestial train, Forthwith the huge Portcullis high up drew, Which but her self not all the Stygian powers Could once have moved… …So wide they stood, and like a Furnace mouth Cast forth redounding smoke and ruddy flame.

I just wanted to share this for the imagery. I love the imagery of a beautiful woman on a serpent’s tail, slipping slimy and bloody over the black earth, her body broken open in a hundred places where her hungry young have burst forth, and all around her the hellhounds loping. Then you can just feel the gates of Hell open and all I can think of is how I feel when I open the front door on a haboob.

“Redound” means “to fall out, contribute, turn out.”

Before their eyes in sudden view appear The secrets of the hoary deep, a dark Illimitable Ocean without bound, Without dimension, where length, breadth, and height, And time and place are lost; where eldest Night And Chaos, Ancestors of Nature, hold Eternal Anarchy, amidst the noise Of endless wars and by confusion stand.

Most of what I’m sharing here, I just LIKE. I like the image of Chaos and void. I love how it dwarfs Lucifer. I can feel the wind surging from that hot black egress. It probably switches back on itself—in direction, in temperature, in violence.

Also, I can't stop remembering that weird starlit void lurking below the surface world of Elden Ring.

...Into this wild Abyss, The Womb of nature and perhaps her Grave, Of neither Sea, nor Shore, nor Air, nor Fire, But all these in their pregnant causes mix’d Confus’dly, and which thus must ever fight, Unless th’ Almighty Maker them ordain His dark materials to create more Worlds, Into this wild Abyss the wary fiend Stood on the brink of Hell and look’d a while, Pondering his Voyage; for no narrow frith He had to cross.

“Frith” is an ancient word for “estuary.”

His Dark Materials is a book series. That phrase and the title of The Golden Compass originate from Paradise Lost. Speaking of which, I need to finish the series. From what I’ve read, the author had a bone to pick with CS Lewis, and I do approve of that.

Again, I love the imagery of this section, and that’s the only reason I’m sharing this. See, so far, Satan has been presented as a giant. He’s enormous. He’s powerful. But the chaos dwarfs him. Could absolutely swallow him. You believe in it as a dangerous place—a primordial place. It feels older than God.

Although the void here is technically allegorical, there’s worldbuilding here. This is an attempt at realism. The boundaries between allegorical and literal smear.

…At last his Sail-broad Vans He spreads for flight, and in the surging smoke Uplifted spurns the ground, thence many a League As in a cloudy Chair ascending rides Audacious, but that seat soon failing, meets A vast vacuity: all unawares Flutt’ring his pennons vain plumb down he drops Ten thousand fathom deep…

I had no idea that “vans” originated as a word for “wings.” For a brief, heady moment, I imagined Lucifer taking off in some cool fuckin kicks.

Here's where you see what I mean about action sequences: Milton is so damn good at making you feel the rough weather and envisioning weird spaces. "Surging smoke," "ascending rides/Audacious," "a vast vacuity."

...i love alliteration and action verbs. so much

…when straight behold the Throne Of Chaos, and his dark Pavilion spread Wide on the wasteful Deep; with him Enthron’d Sat Sable-vested Night, eldest of things, The consort of his Reign; and by them stood Orcus and Ades, and the dreaded name Of Demogorgon; Rumor next and Chance, And Tumult and Confusion all embroil’d, And Discord with a thousand various mouths.

Again, I just LOVE this. I’m trying to only share things I enjoy, but it’s so hard when the whole book sings.

"Wide on the wasteful deep." Mmmmfffffff f f f ffffffffffffff

"Sable-vested Night." You know, when people adjectivize nouns, usually I get mad, but this is gorgeous.

Had to include the bit about Discord because never before have I appreciated the name so well

“Yours be th’ advantage all, mine the revenge.”

Metal. Take whatever you want: I wanna fuck this guy over. (Satan absolutely said this.)

...Satan stay’d not to reply, But glad that now his Sea should find a shore, With fresh alacrity and force renew’d Springs upward like a Pyramid of fire Into the wild expanse…

One thing I like to imagine, especially when I see visual depictions of spectacular events, is wonder how the author came to envision them. As writers, we’re very lucky in this day and age that we can go look up videos and images and firsthand accounts of farflung events, and a lot of us take cues from film and television. Milton would have had a more limited palette.

What is more, not everyone can write an action sequence. Milton can. He understands that language is about feeling, not seeing.

It makes me wonder: what inspired the image of Satan’s launch? Fireworks? Comets? Lightning? The mere interplay with light out in the world?

“Glad now his Sea should find a shore” is a beautiful line and it’s about the devil allying with Chaos rofl

Send that one to your lover one day without explanation.

But now at last the sacred influence Of light appears, and from the walls of Heav’n Shoots far into the bosom of dim Night A glimmering dawn…

The sun is heaven confirmed

We're all gonna live in the sun someday

Oh wait I'm writing this.....

...im going to hell.......

…Satan with less toil, and now with ease Wafts on the calmer wave by dubious light And like a weather-beaten Vessel holds Gladly the Port, though Shrouds and Tackle torn; Or in the emptier waste, resembling Air, Weighs his spread wings, at leisure to behold Far off th’ Empyreal Heav’n, extended wide In circuit, undetermin’d square or round…

It’s fascinating to me that Heaven is seen right away as bending the laws of physics. A different writer whose name rhymes with "HP Lovecraft" would be like NON-EUCLIDEAN GEOMETRY

With Opal Tow’rs and Battlements adorn’d Of living Sapphire, once his native Seat; And fast by hanging in a golden Chain This pendant world, in bigness as a Star Of smallest Magnitude close by the Moon.

“This pendant world” "living Sapphire" UggghhhhHHH it’s so good

Imagine for a second: the peoples of this era already knew the Earth was round, but nobody had seen it from space yet.

Milton could fully envision it—like a jewel hanging in the sky.

What I don’t understand is “the golden chain.” It may be literal lol

Thither full fraught with mischievous revenge, Accurst, and in a cursed hour he hies.

This is a word-by-word account of my green-cheek conure flying into a plate of mashed potatoes.

To Be Continued

[fandxmslxt69]

CLEM!!!

Happy birthday, lovely! I hope you're happy and healthy! So sorry I didn't see your post earlier, I've been having a very hectic year with studying, working and just generalized stuff! BUT BUT I couldn't send you a inbox!

So like a said: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! you are one of the sweetest mutuals ever! And to celebrate that a gotta ask

What is your latest read?

And I want to know your all time favorite Jason fics, please with links and all!

LOVE OF MY LIFE HELLO!!!

OMG PLS DONT APOLOGISE I KNOW HOW HECTIC LIFE CAN GET!! i hope you are taking good care of yourself, resting and relax outside of studies and work!!! remember that none of it matters if you aren't feeling good <33

MY LATEST READ OKAY

um truth be told my love i have been in SUCH a slump lately,,,, its been tough out here.

i only read like 3 books very recently (last month or so)

I did read All The Little Raindrops by Mia Sheridan my QUEEN. its like a mystery thriller with a side of romance!!! Sheridan's books are ALWAYS a hit (she's very popular for her booktok famous Archer's Voice? And Travis !!) I've read like. most of her books at this point. I have never devoted myself to an author so much. She got me into the whole thriller genre and I LOVE her. so much. ITS SO GOOD AAAA. its not for the faint of heart and on more than once i find myself with the need to throw up with how HORRIFYING and messed up some of this stuff is (most of her thriller books are not for the faint of heart. lots of horrific stuff that is all too real and it makes it 10x more disturbing). Anyway i loved it i think i gave it a 4/5 stars it was so so good

2. i ALSO started Ana Huang's If Love series. I literally never shut up about Ana Huang like. EVER and i had been wanting to read this for a while and IM SO GLAD I GOT IT STARTED !!! Its a LOT less popular than hr Twisted and Kings of Sin series; she wrote it well before she got popular/published but its so good. its def not Twisted/Kings of Sin series but it makes it sooo clear how much she's grown in her writing, character development and general story telling!!! I read the first 2 books and UGHGUGHUFGHUFGHG yeah. new comfort series fr fr fr fr.

I also got digging through Lynn Painter's works (Love Wager, Mr Wrong Number, Better Than The Movies, etc) 10/10 her rom coms are sacred to me. this was a while ago though like. months ago lmao but i think abt her books always!!!

OH OH OMG I READ BIRTHDAY GIRL BY PENELOPE DOUGLAS !!!! SOME TIME AGO!!! yeah it changed my brain chemistry. i dont remember if i told you or not. but it changed my life. i think about it always.

edit: omg shut up i forgot i read some banger books months ago that i did not mention. i ate up Liz Tomforde's sports romance series (Windy City series) it was SO FREAKING GOOD. she had hockey romance, she had basketball romance she had BASEBALL ROMANCE. 10/10 amazing vibes

I ate through the latest of Lauren Asher's (Love Redesigned) IT WAS ALSO HELLA GOOD!! Ana Huang's King of Greed was also a vibe. not my fav but it was good. I ALSO delved into hockey romance SOOO DEEP. Fav series is probably Becka Mack's Playing For Keeps. It's the silliest stupidest fluffy no plot head empty series ever. the first book is 90% porn. its just for the giggles. the second is a bit better but the third is def the best in terms of actual plot & character development for example but the vibes are astronomical and i live for them

i ALSO started reading Sarah Adam's small town romance series (very very good). All fluffy fall vibes. CHLOE GONG HAD COME OUT WITH A NEW BOOK IN THE SUMMER AND I GOT TO IT AROUND THE NEW YEAR AND IT WAS SOOO GOOOD. Immortal Longings mm......she destroyed me once again.

OKAY ALL TIME FAV JASON FICS ok i dont have links (is lazy to go find links) but i will tell you two blogs im like religiously stalking:

@in-som-niyah has AMAZING THOUGHTS on Jason 10/10 i love getting all my jason content from her GOD BLESS THE HARDWORKING PEOPLE OF TUMBLR DOT COM

@fcthots also has some kick ass Jason stuff....like....from smutty to fluffy and domestic its....yeah. oooghgubjgubgn yeah yeah.

anyway i've probably forgotten to mention a bunch of books but thats all i can remember that was actually good. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN READING !!!

[fanfic-lover-girl]

I was goin thru ur blog n i saw a poll about who draco bullies n ron won but doesn't ron always start first whenever draco comes? isnt dracos focus only on harry n draco only focus on ron if he started on draco i read it from another blog long ago

also i saw ur answer to anons ask about ron deserving better n reblog about percy i also dont get how ron deserves better if compared to better friends maybe he does but overall ron is bad too lyk w how he treats percy despite percy caring for him the most, displays bout of jealousies n belittles others n hypocritical w muggles n pure blood beliefs

Hey anon. I don't want to be a jerk but please improve your writing expression. Reading this gave me a headache.

Anyway, let's get into it.

doesn't ron always start first whenever draco comes? isnt dracos focus only on harry n draco only focus on ron if he started on draco

Nope. I love Draco but I can't excuse his sins. While I believe Hermione and Harry are not as victimized by Draco as fandom claims, I can't say the same for Ron. I am struggling to think of a time when Ron attacked Draco first unprovoked, except for the scene in DH where Ron punched a defenceless Draco.

If you want, here are some examples of Draco provoking Ron and not (solely) focusing on Harry:

Book 5, Ch 21

“I’m surprised so many people could see them,” said Ron. “Three in a class —” “Yeah, Weasley, we were just wondering,” said a malicious voice nearby. Unheard by any of them in the muffling snow, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle were walking along right behind them. “D’you reckon if you saw someone snuff it you’d be able to see the Quaffle better?” He, Crabbe, and Goyle roared with laughter as they pushed past on their way to the castle and then broke into a chorus of “Weasley Is Our King.” Ron’s ears turned scarlet.

Book 4, Ch 11

“We saw him right up close, as well,” said Ron. “We were in the Top Box —” “For the first and last time in your life, Weasley.” Draco Malfoy had appeared in the doorway. Behind him stood Crabbe and Goyle, his enormous, thuggish cronies, both of whom appeared to have grown at least a foot during the summer. Evi- dently they had overheard the conversation through the compart- ment door, which Dean and Seamus had left ajar. “Don’t remember asking you to join us, Malfoy,” said Harry coolly. “Weasley . . . what is that?” said Malfoy, pointing at Pigwid- geon’s cage. A sleeve of Ron’s dress robes was dangling from it, swaying with the motion of the train, the moldy lace cuff very obvious. Ron made to stuff the robes out of sight, but Malfoy was too quick for him; he seized the sleeve and pulled. “Look at this!” said Malfoy in ecstasy, holding up Ron’s robes and showing Crabbe and Goyle, “Weasley, you weren’t thinking of wearing these, were you? I mean — they were very fashionable in about eighteen ninety. . . .” “Eat dung, Malfoy!” said Ron, the same color as the dress robes as he snatched them back out of Malfoy’s grip. Malfoy howled with derisive laughter; Crabbe and Goyle guffawed stupidly. “So . . . going to enter, Weasley? Going to try and bring a bit of glory to the family name? There’s money involved as well, you know . . . you’d be able to afford some decent robes if you won. . . .” “What are you talking about?” snapped Ron. “Are you going to enter?” Malfoy repeated. “I suppose you will, Potter? You never miss a chance to show off, do you?” “Either explain what you’re on about or go away, Malfoy,” said Hermione testily, over the top of The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 4. A gleeful smile spread across Malfoy’s pale face. “Don’t tell me you don’t know?” he said delightedly. “You’ve got a father and brother at the Ministry and you don’t even know? My God, my father told me about it ages ago . . . heard it from Cor- nelius Fudge. But then, Father’s always associated with the top people at the Ministry. . . . Maybe your father’s too junior to know about it, Weasley . . . yes . . . they probably don’t talk about impor- tant stuff in front of him. . . .” Laughing once more, Malfoy beckoned to Crabbe and Goyle, and the three of them disappeared. Ron got to his feet and slammed the sliding compartment door so hard behind them that the glass shattered.

For all Draco is obsessed with Harry, there are several times where he ignores Harry and focuses on making Ron miserable.

also i saw ur answer to anons ask about ron deserving better n reblog about percy i also dont get how ron deserves better if compared to better friends

I literally don't understand what you are saying.

maybe he does but overall ron is bad too lyk w how he treats percy despite percy caring for him the most, displays bout of jealousies n belittles others n hypocritical w muggles n pure blood beliefs

I never said Ron was not flawed. Yes, Ron treats Percy badly and he has moments of ugly jealousy. But it does not lessen my opinion that Ron is a better friend to Hermione and Harry than they are to him. I wish he had another love interest and another best friend. To me, Ron is the most lovable of the three. He's also pretty relatable to me. Not sure how Ron is hypocritical about muggles?? Yeah, the Weasleys have their own prejudices, such as their scorn for squibs but Arthur is the main culprit for treating muggles like zoo animals, not Ron. Ron does not hold any major bigoted pureblood beliefs that I can recall.

I like Ron a lot, he's my favourite of the trio. And I doubt anything will change that.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Can you recommend a few books with amazing Fellatio scenes?

For sure!

Thief of Shadows by Elizabeth Hoyt probably still has my favorite historical BJ scene. He cries because it was his first orgasm with another person and that's a Lot; she cries because she's emotional and also because like, you know, gag reflex stuff. They're super close to being caught by people. It's GREAT. Tbh though, Elizabeth Hoyt writes generally solid to great ones.

I mean, let us also not forget the scene in Duke of Pleasure wherein the hero is like "oh no the bad guys are about to catch us" so she just starts blowing him to make it look like she's a street wench or whatever they're trying for, and once the guys leave he's like "okay you can stop". And she. Does. Not.

New Camelot by Sierra Simone has several of my favorite BJ scenes. Most likely the "blindfold 'im with a novelty Mount Rushmore tie and go down on him to express your *eternal* gratitude" blow job is the best one, but I also really love the "the mighty Maxen Colchester has a gag reflex" [*cut to the mighty Maxen Colchester glaring balefully*] scene.

Naturally, Sierra's Salt Kiss has great scene in this context, and her Thornchapel series has some of the most "this is sinning" fellatio scenes I'e ever read. Like. The one where they're spit-roasting a priest is honestly not the most sinful BJ in that series. And speaking of that, her book Saint has an amazing scene in which ex-boyfriends, one of whom is a current monk, act out a "I'm a naughty monk and you're tempting me" fantasy BJ in like, the great outdoors lmao.

Mila Finelli's Kings of Italy has great ones. Like, full "you look so pretty like this" scenes, smudged makeup, love it.

Act Your Age by Eve Dangerfield literally begins with the heroine blowing her boss while calling him daddy without realizing that it is, in fact, her boss.

Give Me More by Sara Cate is an MMF romance with a couple of truly iconic blow job scenes, including hits like "giving my best friend head in the dark" and "my best friend goes down on me after his wife decks my dick out with whipped cream".

All of the Mackenzie brother books by Jennifer Ashley have good ones, but Lady Isabella's Scandalous Marriage probably has my favorite in the series because Mac is a Whiny Squirmy Hero.

Kennedy Ryan writes great ones in her All the King's Men duology--including one with the thing we don't see enough of in m/f romance novels (heroes getting their asses fingered).

Oh SPEAKING of that there's an amazing BJ scene in Kristen Callihan's The Friend Zone that includes the same thing. The man almost like, dies.

Cate Sebastian's The Queer Principles of Kit Webb has one of my favorite BJ scenes because Percy is a throat goat who happens to be going down on a man who's afraid of hurting him so he has to be like "YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER" about it.

Grace Callaway's books are generally great in this regard. I once compared an enthusiastic but inexperienced Grace Callaway heroine trying to go down on her hero to someone attempting the chubby bunny challenge. And I'm correct there, and boy do their heroes love it (while also being like, "she's objectively kinda bad at this").

Joanna Shupe's books usually have good fellatio scenes (oh, and she's also Mila Finelli). The Duke Gets Even and The Devil of Downtown especially win out in this regard.

[stainlesssteellocust]

Ok. Where should I start with the 40K novels?

I tried one like 15 years ago and it was bad, no memory of which. Generic space marine stuff. I like the setting and many games, though much of the fandom can be exhausting.

I trust your tastes!

Hmm. There are unfortunately rather more bad or mediocre ones than good, but let’s see. Hopefully your trust will not be misplaced!

Possibly my favourite is The Infinite and the Divine, by Robert Rath. It’s a tale of two Necrons, mad historian and archaeologist Trazyn the Infinite and his rival, oracle and time-wizard Orikan the Diviner, as they squabble over an artifact that could change the destiny of their people. A tale of petty scheming and Tom & Jerry nonsense that stretches for thousands of years. I’m currently reading Rath’s Siege of Cadia, and while it isn’t quite as good, more grand battles and the like, it’s still a good read so far.

Also about the Necrons is Severed by Nate Crowley, a lovely little novella about a Necron general who thinks he’s still flesh and blood, and his long-suffering assistant. The same author also has a few books out, called The Twice Dead King, and I’ve tried the first one. Found it slow going and got distracted, but maybe I wasn’t in the mood at the time. I’ve heard good things about it from others.

There’s the Cain series, which is considered a classic. It’s framed as the private memoirs of celebrated Imperial hero Ciaphas Cain, with asides from an Inquisitor he had a close relationship with. The joke is that, to hear Cain tell it, his reputation is a lie: He’s an utter coward who somehow manages to come out smelling of roses every time, is rewarded by being sent into ever nastier wars and situations, and ends up having to act like his false heroic persona in order to lever his reputation to survive.

It’s a slightly more comedic take on the setting than most, with an undercurrent of unreliable narration: It’s suggested that while Cain isn’t the square-jawed hero propaganda says he is, he’s a lot more heroic than he gives himself credit for, and the extend to which he’s really a coward as opposed to a brave man riddled with self loathing and imposter syndrome is left up in the air. Been a while but the ones I read tended to be fun, if slightly formulaic after a while.

I remember enjoying the old Sisters of Battle books by James Swallow, but I haven’t read them in many years so I’m not sure if they hold up. Same with the Eisenhorn series; both are due a reread and I’ll get back to you on whether they’re worth it.

Blades of Damocles is bolter porn but it’s relatively fun bolter porn, and watching the culture clash of the Imperium and the Tau is nice.

I originally got into 40k novels via William King’s stuff; his Ragnar stories are the usual Space Marine fare (star Viking flavour) but he’s more skilled with it than most. He also wrote the most iconic books for Warhammer Fantasy: The original run of Gotrek and Felix, about a dwarf who wishes to atone for an unnamed sin via dying in battle and the human poet who drunkenly agreed to write his death saga, and to his horror now finds himself dragged to the ends of the earth as Gotrek seeks a worthy death. According to fannish lore, their books were the most profitable part of the WHF IP when Games Workshop nuked that setting (a decision they appear to be rolling back).

And speaking of Fantasy, I personally liked the story Drachenfels, which begins in media res as a party of adventurers battles a dark lord…then cuts to years later as their leader, now a powerful politician, reunites his old party members. By putting on a play of their victory over the dark lord. In the dark lord’s castle. On the eve of his defeat. Which of course cannot possibly go wrong. No siree.

I’ll also throw in a couple of fanfics if you’re into that: Breaker of Chains and its two sequels (third instalment not finished) feature the Primarch Angron, in canon a servant of the Chaos god Khorne and leader of the berserk World Eater space marines. In canon Angron landed on the planet Nuceria as a child and led a slave rebellion against its masters only for the Emperor to snatch him away at the last moment to serve him, resulting in his comrades dying and Angron’s mind breaking, leading him to Chaos. In this story his Legion finds him first, his rebellion wins and he enters the wider galaxy relatively more well adjusted.

Relatively.

Whereas Suffer Not is the tale of an Inquisitor doing her best to actually make the galaxy a better place. Shockingly. Completed, has a sequel, got some negative fan attention because of its take on the setting but I rather liked it.

(Both of the above make the unusual choice of using second person, because they were interactive works: Readers would vote on the character’s next action, and the author would weave the result into the next update.)

I’m sure there’s a lot more stuff I’m missing, but that should be a good start.

[jazminetoad]

Crying and Pain aren't the Same

TW: Insecurities, toxic friendships, and anxiety for making people feel pain

"I wasn't always like this..."

"You weren't?"

"No... I used to live in a village with people, I had many friends, in fact, people used to say I had the biggest and most loving heart of all. Many call me their best friend, but over the years I started seeing it was because I was their only true friend.

It was fine when I was kid, friendships are easier to maintain as a kid. Then I got older and it was starting to get hard to make time for all those friendships, I tried grouping them up together, but even then it was hard to give time to each group, I had to pick and choose, but I also had a bad habit. You see I love seeing mortals squirm and react to things, I pull pranks such as hiding behind doors to jump out to scare 'em or made-up stories where the characters always ended in tragedy, always amused by their faces becoming squeamish or turning to despair afterwards, I liked pulling their strings of emotions but... one friend I pulled a string too hard and they felt pain... I despised that, after all, I become friends with people so they wouldn't be in pain yet I caused that... you might wonder how that's different from me enjoying them squirm, for a while I couldn't tell myself so I stopped doing those things. 

If you're wondering that wasn't the first friend that cut their ties with me, there was another before but I was the one who cut that tie because they didn't agree with something I said and scolded me heavily, even threatening to send their dad who is in the royal army to kill me. His eyes filled with so much rage and hatred towards me. I never wanted to feel that again or have others feel that, that's why I befriended everyone I could. I never expressed anger or hate, and even if they did things I disagreed with, I never judged them for it, after all, I didn't want them to have the same pain I felt, I wanted to prevent them from pain. So when I pulled a string too hard on that other friend, I tried to stop my habit.

It stayed suppressed for years, until I started writing books and the feeling came back, I wanted all who read my books to feel the despair written inside, I shared it with my friends and it was fine, they saw it only as a story. I was happy, I was able to pull strings to make them feel emotions without causing any pain. I had nothing to worry about until they... my friends who I couldn't fit into groups and were lonely until I showed up... they started to fall in love with me... I was terrified. You see how I managed to keep the bad habit away was because I kept a safe distance from them, I couldn't hurt them if I kept my distance, but with lovers, lovers are supposed to draw closer and attach themselves to the other. I feared I would hurt them, that I might pull a string too hard or they would curse me once they see what I am. I tried drawing away, saying we could be friends, acting as if I was in love with another, but one by one, their hearts broke, I caused them pain despite my efforts to prevent that. Some friends tried to reassure me it wasn't my fault, but even if it wasn't I hated seeing them in pain and suffering, I befriended them to prevent that, but in the end, it was for nothing. For a while, I thought I was cursed, to make friendships that ended with one side or both hurt. Then I was actually cursed, by a cleric in service of the king's royal army of all people.

I thought he was different, the arguments didn't break us like they did with others, so I put my trust in him. He too confessed his sins of the past, so I thought there would be no judgement, and indeed there wasn't. However, like the others who fell in love, I never felt the same but wanted the companionship to continue, I tried keeping it as friends and he put the illusion he agreed. Disaster brewed from it, first envious leaves sprouted when he saw me with other friends, and then he tried convincing me to run away and live in the woods with him, and while I was clueless about his manipulation, his spells had no effect on me. His last tactic was to read me a story about two friends who supposedly resembled us falling in love and then declaring their feelings for the other, but I was the kind who always separated fiction from reality, and as someone who pulled people's emotions in fun I always made it a point that it wasn't actually harmful to them.

You see, the difference between making someone feel despair by a story or squirm from a prank, and making from cry from pain and suffering, is that stories and pranks are meant to be light-hearted and fun, they are never to be taken seriously, they're meant to make someone's emotions for a moment in time, they have no ill intentions to scar a person forever. Making someone cry from pain and suffering, causes the person pain and forever remains as a chip at their heart, their mind permanently changed.

And during that time I argued with the man, that's when I came to that realization, specifically when he called me a demon.

I knew what I was. I was someone who befriended people because I wanted to prevent them from feeling the pain I felt when someone hated me and yelled at me with rage, and I adored making them cry over a story because if they had emotions they were afraid to show they now had a healthy way to cry it out, just like how I cried reading stories.

However, he didn't see that, all he saw was a demon.

So instantly I cut ties.

However, the damage was done, I now began to worry that no matter what I did they'd see me as a monster that toyed with hearts until they were broken. Then a curse was cast upon me, turning to appear as this creature, scaring away people before I could help them.

I was driven away by the people and well... took shelter in the forest. Eventually, I built this place... forever to reside.

While I have been alone, and there have been days where madness took over my mind due to isolation, in the end, I think this is for the best. If I'm here, no one will have to suffer from pain I cause, in turn, I don't have to worry about causing someone else pain."

[bettsfic]

I'm really enjoying your craft essay commentary! I have to read more in 2023, too. If you have anything in mind, it would be cool if you posted the list so we could take a look and join you! (Or if anyone has recs?)

i honestly wish i was one of those people who could make a reading list and make my way through it, but since reading is my job, when i read for fun it has to be either 1) entertaining, and/or 2) enriching, and it's surprisingly rare how few books there are that seem to fit into either category. which has nothing to do with the books and everything to do with my weird personal tastes.

but! here's what i'm hoping to make my way through in the coming weeks.

novels/memoirs

return of the king (re-read) and maybe some other tolkien stuff (i went on a used book store spree recently)

in the dream house by carmen maria machado (a christmas gift from @significationary!)

furnace creek by joseph allen boone (just preordered it in paperback)

the last 3 books of the neapolitan quartet by elena ferrante (i already read my brilliant friend)

the last samurai by helen dewitt

the color of sin and father of lies by janet inglis (these were very hard to get my hands on; i don't think they're in print anymore)

the locked tomb series? at least, another attempt will be made. the first time i tried gideon the ninth, it uh. didn't seem like my thing. but enough people have rec'd it that i'll try hard to stick with it.

maybe i'll finally read mdzs

i'd also love to pick up some classics that i'd intended to read for my comps, or maybe take a crack at smiley's list of 100 novels

nonfiction

authoring autism (this is going to take me a while, because it's a little over my head and also a very emotional read for me)

both tin house writer's notebooks

13 ways of looking at the novel by smiley

anatomy of criticism by frye (i think)

mystery and manners by o'connor

my narratology and rhetoric books (there are 2 narratology books that are based entirely on foucault so i'm gonna have to read him too probably)

and i have a bunch of other craft books on my shelf, plus a lengthy craft book purchase list, which i'm not letting myself touch until i've made a dent in what i already have

what i would love more than anything is to find a book or fic i can't put down, that i read until five in the morning and then pick up again as soon as i wake up (entertainment). or i'd like to find a book that's maybe not super interesting on a conflict level but which is so beautifully or weirdly written that it either teaches me something new about writing, or does one thing so remarkably well i might want to teach it in a class one day (enrichment).

last year, the best thing i read was a 700k fic that's not even on ao3 anymore, that was both entertaining (so sickeningly dark, with such high stakes) and enriching (i learned a goddamn ton about scene-level pacing and honestly just what it means to stare the present moment in the eye? i still can't even articulate exactly how masterful it was on a scene level). i also read when meat loves salt by maria mccann, which should have been a slam dunk for me (gorgeously written, historically accurate, extremely fucky gay relationship), and i did really like it but i read it in fits and starts throughout the year because it couldn't seem to keep my attention for long.

i thought the problem was that i was poorly medicated so i couldn't focus on anything. but now i can focus on stuff and i'm still putting down most of the books i pick up out of sheer disinterest. so i'm hoping this year i can kind of target that problem and figure out what my deal is, or find a way to reliably find books i know i'll like.

i always appreciate recs of the "this is the most exceptional thing i've ever laid eyes on" variety, so if anyone's got any of those, i'd love to hear them.

[crows-and-cookies]

SPOILERS ABOUT ALL GRISHVERSE BOOKS

What strike me when you read the Grishaverse books in order is how much Leigh Bardugo grew while writing them. Don’t get me wrong with this bit of analysis—I love all of them, and they’re all good. It’s just occurring to me as I read them how her style improves as we go on.

The shadow and bone series is a bit clunky, moving in fits and starts, with a tiny bit of a gap between each story. Personally, I don’t think the Mal/Alina relationship is as well developed as others to come. And there’s some things that Alina doesn’t explain, but not in the mystery way of the crows, but in like the way that she’s describing the action with not as much emotional depth as she could (think in the second book in the church with the Darkling). Also, it’s purely Alina’s POV (with the exception of the first and last chapters).

In SOC, we start to get that alternating POV, which gives us more insight into other characters, fully fleshing out the issues and events. Even with Kaz, who doesn’t think he likes to show emotions (which he does show emotions, just under the guise of Dirtyhands’ violence), we have his internal dialogue of what he’s feeling, fully giving us the scene/scene reaction.

Additionally, the diction is more poetic than the glimpses of poetry we saw in Shadow and Bone. ‘Her heart was a river that ran towards the sea’, ‘I will have you with armor, Kaz Brekker, or I will not have you at all’, and don’t even get me started on the sheer magnitude of metaphors packed into SOC.

Not to mention the way Kanej grow towards each other in SOC, how they do the same things but for different reasons. Malina is growing, but it’s Alina growing and Mal chasing her, and he ‘grows’ in the sense of dedicating himself to her, but not in the sense of himself as much as Alina does. Kaz grows from wanting revenge to wanting to build something, to wanting Inej. He finally wants something for himself, but not under the guise of money, for the reality that he loves her. He has growth outside of her, but she helps it along. Inej moves from wanting forgiveness for the sins forced upon her (I think) to wanting to change the system. Inej gave Kaz the space and want to build something, and Kaz gave her the strength and skills to want to fight not just for herself, but for others.

Additionally, the scale of everything is increased in SOC. The violence and stakes seem greater, even though the Shadow and Bone was about a war, and SOC was about criminals. Alina does eventually kill people and works through that emotionally and notes how it conflicts with her image as a martyr—the crows kill people and it’s a backdrop for other problems. Kaz kills Oomen (after ripping out his eye) for what he did to Inej, for risking the safety of his people. It’s him ‘making him pay’ and keeping his reputation on the surface, but underneath it’s about him having feelings that he doesn’t understand about Inej and about protecting what he’s built. Inej kills Dunashya as a way of killing her ‘shadow’ and moving forward with the idea of doing harm to do good (killing slavers to stop slavery). While the setting is smaller (just Ketterdam and the Ice Court, mostly), the stakes feel much more fleshed out and higher. It’s something they all want, for a variety of reasons. Alina didn’t get that until halfway through the series at least, as she was fighting herself. Also, Alina’s want is mostly Mal, which is strengthen by the fact that he’s an amplifier, but for me that doesn’t feel as deep as the crows wants and needs. Finally, Shadow and Bone is about someone learning to become Grisha—Six of Crows says fuck that, we’re all equal here, and makes a fulfilling story and plot with several Grisha and non-Grisha, challenging the world view that was presented in Shadow and Bone.

And now for King of Scars and Rule of Wolves. We're focused on two people who need each other to survive logistically (for ruling the country), but romantically it has to be pushed into the background of their lives. It's not the one sided pining of Alina for Mal, nor the denial we see with all three of the relationships in SOC. There is denial, but their positions of power add depth to their reasons why they can't be together, with logistical issues (Nikolai having to marry a princess) getting in the way, instead of just feelings. We see a little bit of that logistical issue for Mal and Alina in the first book (the letters never sent) and are introduced to Matthias and Nina as being separated due to Nina, but the fact that Zoya and Nikolia literally use the rumors about them to protect Nikolai but actually can't be together? Ouch. And again, we're hit with the Grisha and non-Grisha being on equal footing, but not just as criminals--as royalty. The circumstances for their relationship have been elevated.

I will say I don't find KoS and RoW as poetic as SOC, but that doesn't mean it's not well written. Her dialogue was always good, and it continues to be great as the books go. Where Bardugo really shines is in being able to play with characters we've already met, and really dig deep into them. We've seen Zoya grow from the sidelines, and then she makes her literally more badass that Alina was. Nikolai accepts his darkenss and monster. The Darkling actually has an ending that feels more satisfying than if he was just killed, because we thought we already got that! And Nina? Her relationship with Matthias actually grows in the reader's eyes postmortem. Even minor characters, like Adrik and Leoni, Tamar and Tolya, and David and Genya! She really gave herself the space to flesh out these characters and let them grow as people who've survived one war and don't want another.

I will say I loved that Zoya accepted queenhood as a Suli queen, but it could have been gone into more, instead of hinted at a few times. (Also, I'm a mixed, white passing brown woman, so I identified with her in those few moments.) And Nikolai's choice to step down and do what we're introduced to him as (an adventurer) is perfect. This book shines because the ending speaks for itself and ties up a lot of loose ends.

In all, SOC and CK are my favorite. I'm sure I could find other things, but I wrote most of this at work in early December and then found it again in the new year and added the part about RoW and KoS. Bardugo's growth through the series is evident, and I wholly recommend rereading them all in order if you haven't.

[imthequeenofinfinitecity]

Hybrid of the Seven Sins AU Masterpost

Summary:

Now this is a two-book series about the life of a Demon Angel Hybrid named Daniella Stella Fenton, the Queen of Infinite City and the Empress of the Human World. Daniella or Ella as she is called, is the second daughter and fourth eldest child of Jack Fenton, younger twin sister of Daniel Eleanor Fenton, younger half-sister of Dan James Fenton and Jasmine Madeline Fenton, and older half-sister of Diana Elizabeth Fenton. Jack was her and her brother’s donor for their mothers; Stella and Eleanor Phantom. He became their guardian after their parents died when their house was purposely set on fire when they were only a month old. The only reason the two survived was because their mother, Stella, who is an angel, used the last of her life to protect them from the flames (talk about a mother's love). Daniella had a relatively happy childhood but her life changed the day she witnessed an extermination. She became determined to put an end to it but this road has many obstacles, requires lots of sacrifices, and pain. She experiences this when she loses one of her family members but that just pushes her harder. However this is the future, let’s start in the past.

Note from author:

Ok, so this is just to explain a few things. For every single picture I use, I don’t own any of them and I will try to give credit to the artist but if it’s a picture from a shopping site then there’s no reason to do so.

Also while this story says that the Fandoms are Danny Phantom, Hazbin Hotel, and Helluva Boss, THIS IS NOT A CROSSOVER, this is an Original Work with characters, specific locations, and elements from the two fandoms. I am a big Danny Phantom fan and like to write fanfictions about it. I also have ADHD, so I create a lot of stories in my head (not all of them get written for severe reasons; one being I lose interest fast). While listening to the new Hazbin Hotel songs, watching the new episodes, and getting bored in school causing my mind to wander; I created this AU! I will be using some of the songs from Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss (Danny Phantom has like one song and there are a lot of covers for it so I will use one of those) as well as using episodes from the main two as outlines for some of my chapters as the second book is based off of the plot of Hazbin Hotel and the first book is based off the plot of Danny Phantom.

Also shout out to the person who inspired many of the changes to the episode plot within the chapters because a lot of these ideas for how the chapters were written came from her books. This person is Mikaela Miller, who created “The Phantom Twins: Season 1”, “The Phantom Twins: Season 2”, and “The Phantom Twins: Season 3”. You can find her on Wattpad.

Books:

Series Post

Book on Ao3

Book on Wattpad

To remember while reading:

Types of Characters

Types of Chapters

Species' Magic

Species Design

Clarification

Seven Deadly Sins & Seven Heavenly Virtues

Heaven and Hell Ranks

About the Characters:

Here you will find the species, sin, element, magic level, look, and so much more about the characters. There will be no pictures as I own none of them.

Actual Character (AC), Look (L), or Personality (P)

Team Celeste

Why I chose what Sins for the Team

Team Celeste Allies

Inhabitants of Hell

Team Celeste Family

From School

Minor Characters

Information Posts:

Most of this stuff came from Ao3 but I put it here so it's easy to find incase you need to go back.

Demon Angel Hybrid - A Dangerous & Rare Breed

Twin Bond

Government

Changing DNA or Genes

Enchanting Birthday

School (Magic Edition)

How The Body Works (Magic Edition)

Changes from Show

University of Magic

Nine Rings of Heaven and Hell

Anything Else:

Ella’s Symphokinesis

Spotify Link:

1-90 are in The Rare Hybrid Girl’s Life Starts Now!

91-157 are in The Kings of Infinite City and the 8 Divine Dealers

There are 160 songs total however the other three songs aren't on Spotify but they are on YouTube so that's where I have the full completed playlist. One of those songs are in the first book while the other two are in the second book.

[aspasiaclaudet]

#omg i remember the plot but not the names lol#ok after checking ao3:#post-it note romance (super cute merthur fic)#there are no grapes upon the vine (only the BEST PIRATE AU EVER)#for want of nail (super good 10/10)#you only live twice (james bond au and *chef's kiss*)#bbc merlin#merthur#merthur fic#fic rec

existentialcrisisallthetime

Depends on what you’re looking for, but i recommend Dower the Stars by RurouniHime; Next to You (it’s the rule) by LunaMyLove; and You Have to Chase It by arthurandhisswordbros

merthurruinedmeagain

@just--alex I’ll take all the ones you can give me! I haven’t really read a lot of Dark stuff, so I’d love some recs! Also I love long fics, so bring it on!

Original Poster

merthurruinedmeagain

@existentialcrisisallthetime THANK YOU! They’re being added to the list as we speak 🥰

honey-bee-111

You've probably already read it but I'm absolutely in love w/ this: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29127561/chapters/71505519

who-needs-coke-when-you-can-read

honestly, definitely For Want of a Nail by 0hHeyThereBigBadWolf on ao3

k-s-morgan

From canon-based fics: "And like the cycle of the year, we begin again" https://archiveofourown.org/works/6092269/chapters/13964185 The most realistic post-canon story ever. From AU, "Heart in a Headlock" https://archiveofourown.org/works/987049/chapters/1945908

gayasshedgebitch

The third part of this series has yet to start posting but both first and second are enough to keep occupied for a while. It's also Arther/Merlin/Gwen endgame which I appreciate https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129970

ohstinkity

THE BOOK OF MERTHUR ALWAYS AND FOREVER!! if you're looking for the hilariously-and-beautifully-written-character-developing-canon-rewrite of your dreams, it is 100% the place to go. I cannot count the amount of times I have giggled out loud only to end up sobbing at the end of the chapter.

aemelia

@ohstinkity YOU ARE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT

onceandfuturelesbian

deep in my heart i’m concealing by cithara IS SO GOOD

roomsofmyheart

Trying to list ones that other people haven't said already (Like Book of Merthur, which everyone should absolutely read). Some huge favorites of mine are Shadowlord & Pirate King by Footloose (honestly anything by Footloose is amazing), There Are No Gays in Football by Malu_3 (honestly not a sports person myself but it doesn't focus on the actual technicalities of the sport that much and more on the LGBTQ+ issues around th sport so it's a great read if you're into that)

roomsofmyheart

Sorcerer's Bane by BeautifulFiction (the author even made a bound book of this fic!! amazing), The Student Prince by FayJay (much college shenanigans and magic exists), and the first ever Merlin fic I read which I still adore to this day: Coffeeshop Muffins by skellerbvvt (very short fic but absolutely hilarious and adorable with two endings)

4blueeyes7

A couple of my favorites are To Love, Honor, and Piss Off by thenerdyindividual on AO3 and The Love That Binds Us by CarpeDiemForLife on FanFiction.net 😊

madamewriterofwrongs

Finding Home by riventhorn. An oldie but a goodie

part-alien-part-ghost

"How do i love thee? Excellent fucking question." by donttouchtheneednoggle Elyan/Percival, T, 8k. It send me to a whole other dimension for almost a week

colleen-boo-89

I’m trying to give suggestions you don’t already have but some of the ones listed already are definitely favorite. Anything by Cithara but especially Deep in My Heart I’m Concealing. Breathe My Name by LadyDanielle. Both are on Aow, both are Merthur and both are rated E

one-fond-mortal

SO MANY but I have to immediately recommend the works of thenerdyindividual and anarchycox! And many others too, tbh but I had to immediately talk about these. There's also Dies Irae by TyalaganD, three years past by andiwriteordie (still going on), Thinking Their Own Kisses Sin by helloearthlings, the king is dead (long live the queen) by princessoftheworlds

theriseofthephoenixx

immortal and revenant. i just love HP fics where merlin ks incorporated. the diary scorch marks and embers parvus merlin ravioli fist a fresh perspective protect you anyway

just--alex

Okay, sooo dark or long (for me dark means 1) dark character or 2) one of them suffered and other saved him) and long means 20k-+ Everything Merthur + one gen + everything on ao3

just--alex

Darkly Dreaming by emmbrancsxx0 (dark arthur and 73k+) Where I'm Meant To Be by WhiteRoseCottage (40k+ reincarnation) say you'll still be by my side by Imagined (28k misunderstanding) The Tickles and Tribulations of the Prince of Camelot('s Servant) by beau_and_aro, gwaines_season_three_hair (beau_and_aro (20k+ 13k has two parts, fluff) Five lessons on how to not kill your best friend by injeong (12k, Arthur has to watch Merlin suffering) 1/?

just--alex

Would You Be Mine, Could You Be Mine by lady_ragnell (23k+, modern) If You Have a Problem With Him, You Come to Me by Fantasy_lalaland (7k, Arthur goes mad after one noble attacks Merlin) Cry Wolf by ArgentSleeper (3k, dark, agravaine rapes Merlin) The Unknown Path by LoopyLiesey (18k+, not very long but i love it) in nobody's eyes but mine (hey shut up) by jatersade (43+, high school) The Many Duties of a Manservant by orphan_account (43k+,humor + fluff) 2/?

just--alex

Long Live the King by arcturus7 (19k+, merlin keeps hiding his magic and other sorcerer attacks him) Four Days To Fall In Love. by CupCakezys (29k+, canon and soulmates) 3/4

just--alex

4/4 NOT ao3 fanfictions In Time Of Trial by Shine (https://web.archive.org/web/20151017030852/http://boxofmagic.talkoncorners.net/viewstory.php?sid=29&warning=5) long Одно волшебное зелье by owk (http://www.snapetales.com/all.php?fic_id=20828) long, dark, in russian Caged Little Bird by Deminos (https://merlin-finders.livejournal.com/2033491.html) deleted so a link to download file, dark, long 4/4 :)

caethes

Ok so... Knights of the Air by riventhorn: historical WWII they're all fighter pilots during the Blitz The Ghost of Le Day House by rotrude: Historical WWII, horror/haunted house Merlin Emrys and the legend of Excalibur by one_more_psge: Harry Potter Fusion, but set after Harry Potter and has literally nothing but short mentions of hero worship. Fantastic story and every single word is relevant to the plot!!!

caethes

A song from far way by Polomonkey (and Mushroomtale): canon era, but Merlin never got to Camelot, basically a fantasy epic, basically AMAZING (plus gorgeous art) Requiem of a Forgotten Prince by queerofthedagger (and kairennart): canon era with a different type of memory wipe Murder on the Beat by the_mother_of_lions: sci Fi fusion with Among Us Destiny that Darkly hides us by Nympha_Alba: historical WWI, but magic and amazing art

caethes

If you will be my bodyguard by Tari_Sue: Modern AU, mystery Crime but also just very every day to day, and great art The mating Season by Camelittle: Modern Royalty with Soulmates but a different take and a good dash of mystery Hope of the immortal by ArtemisPendragon: Just Merlin as a statue? Brilliant! The inherent limitations of words by Imagined: Modern Royalty and university and Arthur being sweet and smart Merlin

caethes

You can also check out the fics I podficed, those stories are amazing and those lovely writers definitely deserve all the attention they can get

sundere1181

When it Burns by BelloBelle absolutely BROKE me and i love it so much

pieplease

The Tournament of all Magicks by corilannam / A Whole Lot of History by ladililn / For Your Information by reni_days / Coffeeshop muffins by skellerbvvt All merthur fics, all great !! Some fluffy some adventerous? Lots of bamf merlin bc i love him

seraviafly

Theres so many, but for favorite, I have to go with Loaded March by Footloose

j0mama69

"You only life twice" litterly changed the way i lived. Its not finished yet but the author hasnt given it up!

areesvt

This is my absolute favorite merthur fanfic http://archiveofourown. org/works/41121219.

outsider-lookin-in

I think I have reread and like the cycle of the year we begin again at least once a year for the last five years

says-swag-unironically

The Immortal and The Revenant!!! by RileyWilliamsJr on ao3!!!! it’s a harry potter crossover so not everyone’s cup of tea, but god d a m n is it the fic i keep going back to

inkmyth

I’ve got to say, I haven’t yet found my definitive canon-era fic yet but You Only Live Twice by storyforsomeone is my ultimate modern AU fic! James Bond AU, Arthur is 007, Merlin is Q, and the worldbuilding/ relationship development is incredible 💕

dameange

Any and everything by Footloose. If you're looking for magic in the modern era: her Loaded March series. It's a super long series, incredibly well written, has good!Morgana, and shape sifting dragons.

mortalmab

YOLT. You Only Live Twice is a James Bond AU that I never knew I needed until I found the author on tumblr making memes for it and I clicked the link and I was so fucking blown away. Hands down the best merlin fanfic I have ever read, bar none, each chapter is a mini novella in length so they come out slowly but also there’s like 25 chapters. You don’t have to have seen or know anything about James Bond to enjoy it, either.

ailelie

Older fic series, 30k. I've not read it in years, but I remember really enjoying it when I did read it: https://archiveofourown.org/series/789 (Originally read on LJ, but I found it on AO3 as well).

shana-rosee

There are so many good ones but you can’t go wrong with anything queerofthedagger

mindobsessionsss

@katherynefromphilly 's "And like the cycle of the year, we begin again". I died reading it six years ago. And still die at least once a year when I reread it.

oliversical

For the life of me, I cannot remember the title. But the plot is essentially they’re on a camping trip (Merlin, Arthur, and the Knights) and Merlin gets kidnapped but uses his magic to break free and Arthur sees. Merlin freaks and runs away and Lancelot and Gwaine freak out on Arthur

listeningfortheirritatingnoises

i know people have already reccd 'and like the cycle of the year we begin again' so i'll just say i second those, but other favs of mine include 'So Close and I'm Halfway to It" by Ariadne_odair (canon divergence magic reveal plot based and so good), 'The Sheep Whisperer' by Camelittle (modern AU stressed executive arthur and sheep farmer merlin), and 'Something Worth Fighting For' by The Avalonian (WWII, Arthur goes to war while Merlin stays home, I cried, a happy end)

nahasketches

Uuuuu I have a list 😅😅😅😅 In this link, maybe I will delete it in the future but for now all of my merlins fics are here https://viridian-guppy-7ad.notion.site/Ao3-Readings-d900c394922741bebe11e38dd5275427

someonecradlemeintheirarms

things that merlin isnt allowed to do bt Itar94, its been a while since i read it but its pretty fun https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7477406/1/Things-That-Merlin-Isn-t-Allowed-To-Do

queen-daemok

The Hands of a Hundred Winters by fourleggedfish, is the best Merlin fanfic series I’ve ever read. https://archiveofourown.org/series/1830772

wistfulvulpine

I put a ton of suggestions in my tags (sorry for the length 🥺) but I will put a link to the Livejournal fic, Pairing Pendragon/Merlin, here: https://merlinkinkmeme.livejournal.com/12537.html

itsjustclaryy

To Love, Honor, and Piss Off by thenerdyindividual. I adore it, it’s an absolutely amazing slowburn that calls out Arthur’s bullshit on the regular while still letting him grow and learn. BAMF Merlin and not even because of his magic. It’s the first one I re-read when I want a (mostly) lighthearted slowburn.

itsjustclaryy

@who-needs-coke-when-you-can-read that one is absolutely amazing

random-hooman

"Hiraeth" and "next to you (it's the rule)" on ao3

cabinrome

Fragments of the Past by Pearl09 literally altered my brain chemistry it’s Perfect

baconandgrits

A warlocks wish by vividpast

kiaqtexistuku

THE MARRIAGE THAT STARTED A LEGEND because I’m a masochist lol it’s on ao3 by Clearwater96 and it’s still being updated every Saturday.

juspaboks

@ohstinkity YES!!!! YES YES YES ITS SO GOOD!!!

fluorescentpuddingbrain

With Magic Soaking My Spine

bisexualbakes

As a musician, “Harmony” by Smcstrav literally changed my life

rmd04348

The Beltane Cycle series by astolat, but I have a super soft spot in my heart for the first Merlin fic I ever read: The Student Prince by FayJay. Love the podfics too!

miniaturemonsters

Am I the Clotpole? by tehfanglyfish; if i was a flower growing wild and free (all i'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee)  also by tehfanglyfish, its giving so mich greek myth about tragic lovers. Also, Strike Of Lightning by helloearthlings. Tbh everything by helloearthlings is amazing. Plus, twitterature by cominupforair, defo my fav modern setting one.  

merlin-emrys1

Merlin's son: a tale as old as time on wattpad, it's amazing, possibly one of the best I've read.

littlemissbrokensunshine

Introspective by snuffles the pig It’s not a completed fic but I’m in love with it and hope the author will update again soon

zmdd2017

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6414745/chapters/14685442 merlin is moved to a dimension where magic is legal AND merthur. literally amazing

hannahhook7744

I have a few. Teach a man to fish and he'll never run out of ale by Doctor959 Reckless Abandon by DreamersTales A Light for the Night by the_seaworthy_muffin ignite the sunlight (a "A Light For the Night" sequel) by indigotigress7 for the_seaworthy_muffin The Little Sorcerer by Hikage_Phoenix We'll Sing a Song of Days Gone By by VirusError How Hard Can It Be? by VirusError You Always Hurt The Ones You Love by VirusError

hannahhook7744

You're safe. They can't hurt us anymore by Laevateinn Liar, Liar, Noble, Sire by sinivalkoista Of Frogs and Knights by VirusError for thegoatjoke Taking Care of Merlin by katierosefun Protection by Highrise148 There's more but I can't remember them all. I also have a couple on my ao3 that I wrote If anyone wants to know the names

captain-sirius-stark

- Just Rumour Me by ListenToThat https://archiveofourown.org/works/42294534/chapters/106237560 - The Sins of the Father (shall not be visited upon the son) by vintagelilacs https://archiveofourown.org/works/29883702 - time, mystical time by andiwriteordie https://archiveofourown.org/works/38553492 - Deliquesce by BeautifulFiction https://archiveofourown.org/works/43597509 - Of Found Sons and Happy Ends by recklessDreamer https://archiveofourown.org/works/35511232 (especially this one)

captain-sirius-stark

- Linger On Your Pale Blue Eyes by supercalvin https://archiveofourown.org/works/20427404 - Of Swords and Honor by Valkyrie98 https://archiveofourown.org/works/42511746 - do not just linger; stay by a_written_dream https://archiveofourown.org/works/36695749 - Watch The World Burn by comic_history_magic_nerd https://archiveofourown.org/works/41351160 - The Legend of Emrys by sherlockruiningmylife https://archiveofourown.org/works/33381238 (I love this one so much)

auroraboringaliceinwonderland

Heart Lines by PeaceHeather on AO3 was one of the first fics I ever read when I first joined the fandom, and it remains a favorite to this day.

just--alex

No no no i saw the first reblog and i already want to read ALL OF THEM and i have like 1.5 of "read later" why are you doing this to me

kate882

orliththedragon

I Love You by evokingmemories Flying Change by Magnolia822 A Modern Manservant by Mamalazzer The Student Prince by FayJay The Chakra of Merlin by SweetAndSharp The Change Trilogy by emmbrancsxx0, mushroomtale Arcane Asylum by new_kate There Are No Gays in Football by Malu_3 (Grainne) Come Alive by kianspo Hell Bent by s0mmerspr0ssen Once and Future by TakeTheShot The Crown of the Summer Court by astolat

jellytamalies

A Warlock's Wish by vividpast | Dead People Don't Talk Back by Rental_demon | Wærcsár Tācnunge by Glon_Morski | Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Plan Your Future Based on Crystals by DSabian | Allow One to 'See' by mollrach13 | (these are all on AO3)

Okay so everyone in the Merlin fandom who reads this needs to reply with their absolute FAVORITE Merlin fan fiction. All ships welcome! Please help me out here, I wanna read what y’all are reading!

[gealach-in-a-misty-world]

The goddesses and gods have restored King Tel’s magic. His power over dirt, wind, fire, and rain is keener than ever. Still, his people are in danger. The sorcery of the antlered ones has also returned to his exiled brother, Lag. Hungry for power and revenge, Lag will cross any moral boundary to defeat his older brother—and make him suffer in the process. He’ll exploit Tel’s faith, decency, and generous heart to win the advantage in a war that will spill blood over the heart of Feigh. He’ll terrorize unarmed innocents. He’ll use sinful magic to transform the man Tel loves into a weapon. To end the bloodshed and secure the kingdom, Tel must ready himself to meet his brother and lover on the battlefield and eliminate the threat to peace and justice, whatever the cost. To do that, he’ll need to realize the final confrontation is really with the darkness, tragedy, and grief of his own past. The last war must be won inside himself.

"Fortune has surrounded me with good people".

Gideon E. Wood's The Stagsblood Brother sticks the landing with this incredible conclusion to the Stagsblood Trilogy, where all the loose threads are tied up and the final confrontation between Tel and his sadistic brother takes center place, pushing Tel beyond his limit. He will have to battle with himself and with his own, and make hard decisions that might haunt him; but he might find healing in the end.

This book deals with loss, grief, memory, and healing in such a poignant way. Tel, a recovering alcoholic, must do his best to avoid the lure of the drink when all things seem to go wrong; he has help, from his friends and loved ones, as he battles both himself and the dangers that threaten to tear not only his kingdom apart, but the known world, the cluster of six kingdoms inhabited by different races of humanity who hail from the gods and goddesses. The gods of the Stagsblood Trilogy are very real and passionate and meddle in the human affairs, appearing to Tel ever since the first book; the prophecy that was at the center of the second book takes here new meaning, for an extraordinary and quiet ending where wounds begin to heal and peace might be found.

The world-building keeps being effective and rich, painting the history of the nations, the struggles of the smallfolk, and the powers that control the world in all their irrationality. Lag is a perfect antagonist because he's truly unhinged, stopping at nothing in his quest for blood purity. He maimes and corrupts and revels with childlike delight in the destruction of his own kingdom, showing no remorse and a chilling amorality. The mental torture he subjects his own brother to is painful and difficult to read.

The author course-corrects all the things that prevented the previous books from being truly excellent (especially the second book, that was a step down from the quality of the first while still narrating a beautiful journey of healing), adjusting the way he recounts events and the pace of the book. The heart of his writing, the emotional passages that tear at the reader, he keeps and strengthens, creating a novel that doesn't shy away from the ugly in order to make it beautiful, that uses language at times very crude but always precise. This is a journey in three books, and he doesn't forget what started Tel's emotional journey towards healing, but always keeps it at the forefront of the reader's mind. The decision to tear Tel apart so cruelly in the first novel, followed by the way he begins to give Tel peace in the second, might make some readers decide to pull away, but I admire his decision to show that life doesn't end after a terrible tragedy.

Unfortunately this book is still saddled with numerous typos and small mistakes that take aback and stop the flow of reading, although it's less than in the first two books. But the strength of the narration is so intense that I'm inclined to forgive the lack of proper editing. The author also has a list of trigger warnings on his website, that I urge to check before embarking on this fulfilling but dark journey.

The Stagsblood Brother is a beautiful exploration of grief and healing.

✨ 4.5 stars

.

📚📚📚 IF YOU LOVE THIS, YOU MIGHT LIKE:

* All the Hidden Paths, by Foz Meadows

for: trauma, healing

[You can find more of my reviews about queer speculative fiction on my blog MISTY WORLD]

[dfroza]

Today’s reading from the ancient books of Proverbs and Psalms

for january 1 of 2024 with Proverbs 1 and Psalm 1, accompanied by Psalm 12 for the 12th day of Astronomical Winter (with the consummate book of 150 Psalms starting its 1st revolution this year)

[Proverbs 1]

I, Solomon, David’s son and Israel’s king, pass on to you these proverbs—a treasury of wisdom—

So that you would recognize wisdom and value discipline;

that you would understand insightful teaching

And receive wise guidance to live a disciplined life;

that you would seek justice and have the ability to choose what is right and fair.

These proverbs teach the naive how to become clever;

they instruct the young in how to grow in knowledge and live with discretion.

The wise will pay attention to these words and will grow in learning,

and the discerning will receive divine guidance,

And they will be able to interpret the meaning of a proverb and a puzzle,

the twists and turns in the words of the wise and their riddles.

Let us begin. The worship of the Eternal One, the one True God, is the first step toward knowledge.

Fools, however, do not fear God and cannot stand wisdom or guidance.

So, my son, pay attention to your father’s guidance,

and do not ignore what your mother taught you—

Wear their wisdom as a badge of honor and maturity,

as fine jewelry around your neck.

My son, should your less honorable peers pressure you to do what is wrong,

you should be strong enough not to go along.

If they should say,

Evildoers: Come on! Everyone, hide and let’s wait to see whom we can beat to a pulp.

We’re going to jump some unsuspecting chumps for no reason at all.

We’ll have our way with them, and when we’re through, there will be nothing left,

as if their bodies were swallowed whole by the grave’s dark pit.

We’ll take whatever we want—all their wealth and their fancy clothes—

and when we’re through, we’ll have piles of their treasure for our own.

You have to join us; forget about God.

We’re going to rake in the goods, and we’ll share all we take!

My son, do not join them;

keep well away from their violent, destructive paths.

For they run right away, every time, to do wrong,

and they are thirsty for blood.

You see, it makes no sense to bait the net and set the trap

while the bird is watching,

But these hiding in the shadows and waiting to spill innocent blood

are really just hastening their own destruction!

By giving in to their sinful desires,

they set themselves up to be ambushed.

This is what happens to everyone who tries to profit by violence;

violence will eventually rob them of their very lives.

There’s another voice in town.

It belongs to Lady Wisdom, who calls out in the street.

She cries out in the town square,

At the city gates, in the noisy city streets,

you can hear her speaking over the racket.

Lady Wisdom: You simple, naive people, how long will you love your feeble ways?

You simpletons, how long will you enjoy making fun of what you don’t understand?

You fools, how long will you hate learning what truly matters?

Turn to me and receive my gentle correction;

Watch and I will pour out my spirit on you;

I will share with you my wise words in order to redirect your lives.

You hear, but you have refused to answer my call.

My hands reached out, but no one noticed.

All my advice, all my correction, all have been neglected—

you wanted nothing of them.

So I will be the laughter you hear when misfortune comes, and it will come.

I will be the mocking sound when panic grips you—

When panic comes like a stormy blast,

when misfortune sweeps in like a whirlwind,

when sorrow and anguish weigh you down.

This is when they will call on me, but I will not respond;

they will be frantic to find me, but they won’t be able.

Because they despised knowledge of my ways,

and they also refused to respect and honor the Eternal,

Because they rejected my advice

and turned down my correction,

They will surely get what’s coming to them:

they’ll be forced to eat the fruit of their wicked ways;

they’ll gorge themselves on the consequences of their choices.

You see, it’s turning away from me that brings death to the simple,

and it’s self-satisfaction that destroys the fools.

But those who listen to me now will live under divine protection;

they can rest knowing they are out of harm’s way.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 1 (The Voice)

A set of notes from The Voice translation:

Each generation faces strong peer pressure to follow the world’s ways, especially during adolescence. That pressure can twist an innocent young man inside out until he is nearly unrecognizable to those close to him. Once gang mentality takes over, that young man could easily find himself in unexpected and troublesome situations. Wisdom calls, and her voice is clear: Remember your parents’ instruction. Avoid violence and violent people. If you don’t, violence will find you.

A strategic translation decision has been made to respect the historical situation of this book. In its original context, Proverbs is practical wisdom passed down from parents (especially fathers, see chapters 1–9) to young men who are preparing to enter a life of adult responsibilities: family, business, community leadership, and so on. Because of this relational aspect, we have retained masculine references when appropriate and have used more inclusive language when that was the intention of the original author. It is our greatest hope that God will use this work to remind fathers of the profound place they have in nurturing, instructing, and guiding the next generation.

[Book One]

Book One (Psalms 1–41) is attributed almost entirely to David; all but four of the psalms (1–2; 10; 33) are ascribed to him. In Hebrew Psalm 10 is a continuation of Psalm 9 because it was composed as an acrostic poem. Likewise, many Hebrew manuscripts combine Psalm 33 with 32. Only later are these divided into separate psalms. Psalm 1 sets the stage for the entire collection by explaining that the study of the Word of God is the foundation of a meaningful, prosperous life.

[Psalm 1]

God’s blessings follow you and await you at every turn:

when you don’t follow the advice of those who delight in wicked schemes,

When you avoid sin’s highway,

when judgment and sarcasm beckon you, but you refuse.

For you, the Eternal’s Word is your happiness.

It is your focus—from dusk to dawn.

You are like a tree,

planted by flowing, cool streams of water that never run dry.

Your fruit ripens in its time;

your leaves never fade or curl in the summer sun.

No matter what you do, you prosper.

For those who focus on sin, the story is different.

They are like the fallen husk of wheat, tossed by an open wind, left deserted and alone.

In the end, the wicked will fall in judgment;

the guilty will be separated from the innocent.

Their road suddenly will end in death,

yet the journey of the righteous has been charted by the Eternal.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 1 (The Voice)

[Psalm 12]

For the worship leader. A song of David accompanied by the lyre.

Help me, O Eternal One, for I can’t find anyone who follows You.

The faithful have fallen out of sight.

Everyone tells lies through sweet-talking lips

and speaks from a hollow and deceptive heart.

May the Eternal silence all sweet-talking lips,

stop all boasting tongues,

Of those who say, “With our words we will win;

our lips are our own. Who is the master of our souls?”

“I will rise up,” says the Eternal,

“because the poor are being trampled, and the needy groan for My saving help.

I will lift them up to the safety they long for.”

The promises of the Eternal, they are true, they are pure—

like silver refined in a furnace,

purified seven times, they will be without impurity.

You, O Eternal, will be their protector.

You will keep them safe from those around them forever.

All around, those who are wicked parade—proud and arrogant—and people applaud their emptiness.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 12 (The Voice)