#i also don't want people to do it out of obligation i just want that noted

[sakumz]

____________________________________________

a/n : I LOVE YOU KIMICJ the man you are 😣 school au, ooc, kms joke once or twice kunikuzushi is scaramouche or wanderer...

[ m. kinich x fem reader ]

____________________________________________

" that's the exchange student? " you hear whispers and whatnots around you as you walk towards your classroom. books in your arms since the teacher asked you to pick it up, first thing in the morning before heading to class.

" morning y/n, " xiao greets you as he shoves the students blocking the path inside the classroom, holding the door for you to go in, as you smiled and thank him. placing the books on your teacher's desk as you made your way over to your seat, kinich takes the empty seat next to yours.

it's a wonder, your class is so lucky to be hosting the exchange student. thank you aether for being the student exchanged in your class. you silently thank the archons and of course your dearest classmate for such exchange, heck if he's staying over forever in kinich's school and kinich stays here forever, even better! you get to admire the pretty man by your side and the one behind you is xiao. he sighs as he stares out the window.

when lunch starts, you can't help but want to ask the exchange student to eat with you. well he is new and everyone will probably go to their own friend group and chat lunch away. what you should obviously expect was the people crowding around him, asking to go with them.

xiao taps you from behind as you silently nod, determine to take kinich with you than the randos.

" hey malipo- " you whisper shout from your seat as he quickly turns his attention to you.

" kinich is fine, " he cuts you as you flush red.

" um yeah k-kinich, wanna come with me and xiao? we'll eat on the roof and well... it's quieter there. " you lean over and whisper. he gets up and apologised to the people around, telling them he wants peace and quiet and well, to say the least they obliged and left him. he follows you and xiao quietly up to the roof.

you were right, it was a lot quieter. only you guys being there, being on the roof definitely has it perks. he could see the outside of the school, there's a basketball court and he spots a red and white hair guy, definitely shorter playing the game with an indigo bowl cut hair who even had a different uniform. he's not an exchange student like him, is he? he was certain only five from his school was here and was not told any other school would be here too.

" oh! kazuha is playing with the kid from the school directly opposite us! " you gush as xiao turns to look out.

" yeah that's kunikuzushi, " kinich sits next to you, opposite xiao. you peered over when he opens his lunch box.

" what a cute bento, " you mumbled out loud, flushing once more when both males stared at you.

" my classmate made it, we're staying in the same host family, " he says as you can't help but get interested.

" that's really cute, you guys must be pretty close huh? xiao over here is my childhood friend, kazuha was in the same class as us back in first year. also I bought cookies so you both better eat up! " you shove the bag in the center.

" tasty as ever, " xiao compliments as you flash him a smile, the smile that sends his heart beating a mile a minute.

" it's good, " kinich compliments after. your pride eating at you.

" there's a little something on you, " you point at the corner of your lips as xiao looks confused at you.

" here let me just- " you swipe your hand over xiaos cheek, dusting the cookie crump off.

the bell rings after leaving you to internally scream. back to hell. class went by pretty quickly, you tried to pass paper messages to xiao and you barely got any replies back.

" hey are you doing anything after school? " you ask kinich, walking him to the shoe locker with xiao behind you.

" I don't have anything, " he responded. you look over xiao, he gives you a nod as you internally cheered.

" let's go to this cafe! me and xiao always go there whenever we're free and well it's my work place too so feel free to come whenever you want, heck please bring that classmates of yours too! I'd definitely love to meet them and- " yapping till you were out of the school gates you weren't expecting someone to whistle at you.

you stopped and stared at the source of the sound, it was coming from the road directly across you. you sigh when you see who it is.

" heyyy y/n! " sethos called you over as kunikuzushi glared at the man.

you waved as xiao quickly grabs your hand and push it back down. you look at him as he shakes his head no.

" hey I know they're from our quote on quote rival school but it's rude to not greet back, you know. " you whisper scolded, jabbing him with a finger playfully.

from kunikuzushi point of view, you looked so adorable with a hand to your waist as you scolded your little childhood friend. wait WHAT!?! he aggressively shook his head as sethos stared at him cheekily.

" listen up pipsqueak! " kunikuzushi starts only to earn a slap from behind, he scowl and turn quickly to look at the perpetrator. it was lumine, she glared daggers at him as she scolded him for calling whoever he was calling a "pipsqueak". you waved sethos a goodbye before walking away with kinich and xiao.

--

" what's his problem? " xiao mumbles as he takes a seat opposite you in the booth. you can't help but giggle, kinich by xiaos side feeling confused. there's definitely more to this rival school going on.

" y/n! you're here, " your fellow colleague greets whipping out her small notebook to take your order.

" helloo, " you greet with your signature smile.

" anything catches your eyes? " you ask kinich who was flipping through the menu, xiao points at one as his eyes follow his finger.

" um, I'll get the kitty parfait. " he says shyly.

" haha three kitty parfait then, " your colleague obliges and within minutes the parfaits came. your colleagues even added a matcha tea, lemon tea and coca cola. guessing everyone's preferred drink right.

" mind if I take a picture? " kinich asks as he pulls out his phone, you quickly said yes.

" hey get a picture of us too~ here give me your phone, " you show him your palm as he placed his phone on.

you turn the phone camera to selfie mode, aiming it so that the food can be seen and both xiao and kinich faces were in. throwing on a peace sign as xiao and kinich followed along.

you three ate your treats, talking about everything and anything. kinich has a pet named ajaw, he can get pretty aggressive but he's a sweet thing. pulling up videos and pictures of said pet. xiao also shares embarrassing stories of you in between. kinich couldn't help but laugh at certain parts of the story. leaving you fuming at your friend. kinich finds it adorable when you pout.

" well we should get going. I'll walk you home y/n, " xiao starts as you stared back at him, sighing when he tilts his head to the side.

" did something happened at home? " kinich question as you laugh at the bitter thought.

" it's fine really, " you force a smile as you stand up. bidding your colleagues and the boys follow behind. whispering to each other. you can't be bothered to know what they're talking about, having an internal battle on what might possibly happen at home. you had a fight with your brother after he told you his partner of five years was a homewrecker and he didn't do anything or defend himself when his partner started talking shii about his family.

" this is it, bye bye " you sounded so sad when you wave them goodbye, closing the door behind before they could say anything else.

kinich and xiao looks at each other before making their way over the nearby bench around the area.

" yeah something is definitely up, " kinich mumbles as xiao looks at him, slouched over the bench.

" you like them don't you? " he smirks.

" wha-what are you talking about? " kinich sweatdrops.

" aaah, we'll just leave it till tomorrow then. you know your way around the area or do you need me to walk you back too? " xiao teased leaving the dark hair male to laugh.

" I know how to get home, thanks. " he bids xiao goodbye as they both made their way home.

--

" fancy seeing you here, " kunikuzushi starts as you look over your shoulder and place the glass you were wiping down. it's a Saturday, no school. your work decided to come up with a little small event to promote the best selling kitty parfait. you blush and immediately hide yourself behind the counter, you're wearing a maid dress and kitty ears!

" hey now, aren't you going to serve me? " he teased as you stand up, you're the only worker right now. the next one will come in an hour.

" how'd you know I'm working here?! " you scold as he smiles.

" hey hey, I've got a little recommendation from the principal of the school but that doesn't matter, " he mumbles the last part turning back to stare at your eyes.

" I've been wanting to come here! so many people in school has been talking about it. even that smart ass alhaitham has been here not once but twice, " he raised two fingers as you grab his fingers, squeezing it hard as he lets out a playful scream.

" is this the person you've been talking about? kinich, " you quickly looked over kunikuzushi as he followed your line of view. you blush when you saw kinich in his casual wear. he is so handsome, charming and so much beautiful words you can't think of right now but he's just so drop dead gorgeous. he had his headband on his forehead, black t-shirt on and you can't admit it but his arms.

" please kill me kunikuzushi, hat guy, wanderer " you whisper as you shake him by his shoulder.

" hey must you bring up that stupid nickname and even the game name I used. " he sighs at your dramatic antics. he doesn't fail to notice your growing blush. you looked adorable if only it was for him.

" wha-what would you like to have today? kinich and beautiful girl, " you cry internally is that his girlfriend, you shove kunikuzushi aside as she points at the chocolate cake. just then your phone rings, you excused yourself as you quickly picked up the call. trying not to kill yourself when your boss tells you, you'll be working the full shift alone since your work partner had something going on. well its not so bad doing a full shift alone especially when the sun's setting down and well the customers just adore you the most.

you place your phone down, biding your boss an okay and goodbye as you look over kunikuzushi who was just playing with the jewelleries around his fingers and neck.

you cleared your throat as you beam back at them, right you're so good at faking smiles even kunikuzushi and xiao have a hard time figuring out which is fake and which isn't.

" so one chocolate cake? is there anything else? " you tap the order in the cash register screen as kinich finishes the order with " the same kitty parfait we ordered and two colas would be nice. "

you thanked them for ordering and tell them to take a seat, even rejecting his money because he's an honoured guest along with the girl he was with. assuring him it's on the house, kunikuzushi looked over the cash register area, picking up some of the memo notes you were writing down. one definitely caught his interests as you worked on their orders. quickly finished the final touches, making it as pretty and perfect. you walk over to their table. smiling at them when you approach, telling them to enjoy before you could return back to the register you hear kunikuzushi shout, " hey aren't you missing something? "

you glared at the man before turning back to the "couple" .

" I'll give you some blessings okay? make it delicious, " you form a heart with your fingers, moving it around your fingers as you shut your eyes tight.

" moe moe kyun~ "

to say the least, all you hear was kunikuzushi loud laughter as you rush back over to him.

" tell me your order now. " you demand as he sniffles back a laugh.

" o-one kitty parfait, the strawberry one. " your heart drops. keying in the order and bringing it to the man. why did he pick the seat opposite kinich, one where they can make eye contact.

" hey don't forget your magical blessing, " he flashed you a smile as you glared at him.

" make it delicious, " you say between gritted teeth, " moe moe kyun~ " just as you're about to walk away he grabs your hand. you turn to look at him stunned.

" there's no customers right now, so you can definitely fulfill my customer request right? as stated in the memo, " he grinned as you stared, flushing when you remember the event lines.

' obliged to the customer wishes, eg feeding them as long as its nothing super dangerous, do it '

" feed me. " you quickly take a seat opposite him, your kitty ears pressing against your head. the kitty ears, you scream. you looked so adorable you didn't notice the quick flash from his phone. your kitty ears pressed on your head as you flushed red, eyes squeeze tight as you grab his spoon.

" open up, " you place the spoon full of whipped cream and strawberry jam infront of his face, your other hand hovering under his chin to catch whatever mess he could possibly make.

" so how's school, " he tries to make small talk as you continue to feed him. just as you're about to give a response, you accidentally push the spoon filled parfait into his mouth, the whipped cream hitting the corner of his lips. you can't help but wipe the corner of his lips with your finger, forced habit from xiao, and the opportunity to tease the lingering eyes on him, he grab your finger. bringing it to his mouth to lick the whip cream.

you blush at his action as the kitty ears pressed against your head again, your tail swishing from side to side. yeah you're definitely not wearing this set of cat stuff again! thank goodness there was a normal version somewhere. you didn't expect people you know to come and you could've gotten out of work the following hour when kunikuzushi came. ugh the co-worker!!!

" hey y/n, " kinich calls over to you as you look back, your face flush red as kinich can't help but blush at your appearance. your cat ears and your flushing face.

you hand kunikuzushi back the spoon as you ruffled his hair for revenge, as he quickly brings a hand to your cheek, giving it a squeeze before you walk over to kinich's booth.

" yes? " you exhale slowly, trying to calm your racing heart.

" I hope we're not bothering you, this is mualani. she's- " kinich was interrupted as she grab your hands.

" we're classmates back in our old school and we're living in the same host house, I can't get a second away from him huh. hahaha! though each class in your school, holds one exchange student. he's pretty lucky to get a cute girl like you in the class. heck you're even prettier than the picture he showed! " she gushed as you flushed harder, he talks about you to this girl!?

" are you both datin-"

" what! no! I would never date this emo! " she scolds as you can't help but laugh, kinich cleared his throat earning a playful glare from mualani.

" thanks for the treat and like always, good things comes to an end. I'll see you in school, y/n. " kinich gets up as mualani follows bidding you a goodbye as she walks first, kinich feels his legs glued to the floor. his ears didn't fail him and kunikuzushi was purposefully being loud when he mentioned the event lines.

he did order the item that'll strike the event lines to work, you stared at him as he looks down, gulping down as he says what you weren't expecting to hear.

" there's an event thing right? I'm allowed to make a request? " your kitty ears perks up, you try to control your beating heart.

" yeah you can make a request as long as its nothing too stupid and crazy, " you looked to the floor, avoiding his gaze as you try to calm down.

" can I get your number then? " to say the least you thought you died and met the archons. with shaking hands you accept and key in your number.

he bids you goodbye as he walks over to mualani as she smiles, giddy as she can't wait to hear more of what kinich has to say. he's been pretty chatty since meeting you and she's definitely in for it all.

kunikuzushi did stay to help you clean the store, he said you'll pay him with one of the events request to which you agreed.

--

" xiaooo~ " you playfully poke his cheek from behind his seated self. you sigh as you gave him a hug resting your head on his head.

" I'm gonna kill myself. " you stood straight as you take your seat, and kinich enters.

" did you hear, in gym class. one of the rival class from the school will join us. " someone says as you felt a shiver down your spine, this class better not be kunikuzushi.

luck was not on your side when you catch his gaze on you. him sitting on the bleachers as xiao and kinich just so happen to sit a few seats infront of him. you were playing basketball first. you as the appointed captain and lumine was your rival captain.

" beat her ass, y/n! " you hear kunikuzushi shout as everyone turn to look at the man. his shame out the window, thank the archons sethos isn't here.

" you're supposed to cheer for us! " the girls in his class shout as he stuck out his tongue.

the game did end with your team winning, kunikuzushi calls for you to come over as you obliged. he hands you a bottle of water as the referee calls for the boys to come and get ready for the game. he smiles as he catches your gaze. waving as you nearly choke on the water. nilou takes a seat next to you as lumine on her other side and keqing went to your right side.

" heyy! cheer for me okay!? " he shouts as you flushed the girls looking over you as you scream a do your best, you guys! that's definitely not targeted to kinich, xiao and that kuni boy.

the girls tried to get intel on the boy as you tried your hardest to focus on the game. twenty minutes in the game and kunikuzushi team was one point down. he grabs hold of the ball and just as he's about to score he shouts your name.

" this one's for you, y/n! " he shouts as he shoots a three pointer earning two points, the girls cooing at the smoothness. the game then ends and the teacher congratulated the team for winning before ending his class.

" he definitely likes you, " nilou says as she stands up. lumine following her as she tells you he's too far gone.

" he's a stupid one for sure, " keqing pats your head in pity for your love life.

you look over the boys as they gathered close, you walked over as kunikuzushi was massaging his hand.

" what's wrong? " you question as he smiles weakly.

" just jammed my fingers. " you grab his non-injured hand. bringing him to the first aid kit, placed on the first row of the bleaches he takes a seat as you wrapped an elastic compression bandage over his finders.

" hey why don't you kiss my boo boos away? it'll heal faster just like your magical blessing to my parfait. it was really delicious, " he teased as you brought his hand over to your lips pressing a quick kiss over it. kinich and xiao decided to take the seats next to you and kunikuzushi, drinking water and calming down from the game.

" we have an hour free and then lunch break, you should join us. " you say, standing up and changing as the boys meet you at the roof.

xiao sits next to you as kinich and kunikuzushi was opposite. silenced filled the first part.

" open up, " kunikuzushi brings the egg roll from his bento to you mouth, as you ate it. xiao calling you to open up too as you ate the broccoli from him. kinich opens his bottle of cola as he brings it to your face as you chug a good amount.

kunikuzushi smirking as you glared daggers at the growing tug on his lips. realisation hits you as you start coughing, xiao pats your back as you stand up. packing your things as you bid a quick goodbye.

" see you guys later, and bye kunikuzushit. " you mindlessly walk away, it's still too early to go back to class.

" now what is her problem, " kunikuzushi mellowly says as the two looks over the male.

" you tease her too much, " xiao points his chopsticks at the male as he laughs pushing his chopsticks away with his own pair.

" admit it, we all know who she likes. " xiao flushed. it's not him and he's well aware.

" why do you like her, kunikuzushi? you even got her to feed you, your parfait... " kinich trailed off as xiao stared wide eyed at the indigo man, he laughs.

" she's fun to tease, plus quite the beauty. she's too nice for her own good, " kunikuzushi admits, reminiscencing the first time he met you when you threw a punch at him for talking shit about your school. that's when you met sethos and lumine for the first time too. they quickly took a liking to you.

" what about you, xiao? " xiao can't help but stare and look away at the pair of eyes on him.

" she's pretty, yes. I grew up with her so I guess you can say my love for her just keeps growing with her... " there's more to love you for and he's too shy to tell it to them.

kunikuzushi is well aware with the choices you won't pick him nor would it be xiao, he pats xiao on the back. trying to lighten the mood, so he tells embarrassing tales about you as xiao returns the same.

--

mualani caught you walking down the halls, she drags you to the vending machine around the garden as you sat on the bench, sipping on your carton of milk.

" why do you like kinich? " she cheekily asked as she plops next to you.

" he's handsome, quite the sweet talker and um.. im not sure? my heart just longs for him... " you confess, feeling the same burning on your cheeks as she laughs.

well you have her support in this, she cheers you up and attempts to tell you embarrassing stories about kinich but they ended up being more about her. kinich catching her doing embarrassing stuff.

as class was ending, kinich tells you and xiao, he'll be waiting for mualani so xiao and you left together first.

you invite xiao over to your house as he obeys. placing the plate of almond tofu and a cup of ice lemon tea. you enjoyed the peaceful silence. before admiting something xiao was painfully aware of.

" I like kinich. " he swallows hard.

" I like you, " he confessed as you flushed. turning to look at him and he he maintained eye contact back.

" I'm sorry, " you looked away as he was quick to hold you hand. rubbing smooth circles.

" it's really okay, dating someone you grew up with would be a bore huh? besides you probably see me more like a brother than some romantic partner... " you can't help but sigh, if you hadn't met kinich and xiao confessed. you'll definitely accept, he was nothing but kind and sweet to you.

" you're never boring to be with. my heart just longs for the guy, " you sigh as you grab the hand, touching your hand. you bring it to your forehead as he place the spoon down, patting your head.

" if he ever breaks your heart, my arms are open for you. if you're thirty and he hasn't married you, I'll marry you in a heartbeat. " you can't help but laugh.

" I'll allow that, I'll break up if he doesn't propose hahaha, please don't wait for me if you did fall for someone. " he nods as the conversation continues. you introduced a new character in your life as xiao filled you in on what happened during lunch when you left. your soul leaving your body when he says kunikuzushi was sharing embarrassing stories about you. hell the new character in your life couldn't say any embarrassing stories about kinich because it was mainly him catching her on the act.

you walk xiao to the door when it was time to leave, he pulls you in for a hug and you let him hug you for as long as he felt like it.

--

the next day in school, school felt pretty fast this time. probably because you fell asleep in class thanks to someone keeping you up all night.

" y/n come with me. " kinich offers a hand as you blindly take it, rubbing your eyes with your other hand. you don't know where this guy is taking you.

he brings you to the garden, the gazebo in sight as you take a seat and he stands. hands hiding something behind. a yawn escapes your lips as he shows you the flowers.

" I like- love you. " he confess, your eyes shot open. this can't be a dream? you pinch your cheek as he laughs, pulling your hand away to plant a kiss on it.

" it's not a dream. I love you a lot, your kindness. you really helped me feel at ease in the school, I met a few cool people thanks to you. even if we're far apart, I'll do anything for you. we're still living in the same country just different region. it will take awhile to get to you but for you, I'll do anything. " you can't help but kiss the corner of his lips as he cups your face, giving you a proper kiss.

to say the least even being so far away, you never felt lonely. kinich texts you 24/7 even video calling whenever you want. when you graduated, you eventually moved to a place nearer to him to attend college. xiao and kunikuzushi unexpectedly following. all four attending the same college, you weren't expecting to be in the same business course as kunikuzushi as xiao and kinich happen to share the same course. well kinich never fails to slap a smile on your face everyday.

[paraphwrites]

so obviously the time period a character comes from impacts them. but i adore the analysis of dbda and loneliness so now i want to analyze the characters + their time period + loneliness

edwin. so, edwin is from the 1900s. he was raised with the knowledge that he would join the military, that he would get married. this was an accepted part of life. now, i do not wish to analyze the full scale of edwin's relationship with violence (at least, not here), but i do think it's interesting that edwin goes out of his way not to inflict harm on others. this is potentially because he was raised in such a way where that was the norm, and he always knew he did not fit traditional male standards. he has always preferred knowledge and books to fighting and sport. this would have been incredibly isolating, especially as a young boy in a school for children of military members. additionally, as a queer person, edwin would have been entirely socially isolated from his peers. whether they picked up on it like simon or just thought he was un-manly, the point stands: edwin would not have fit in with his peers and seemingly had no friends when he died. which is very sad. and very lonely.

crystal. crystal's parents neglected her for their work. she lashes out. she lashes out and pushes people away (or in front of traffic). she is volatile and destructive and she is like this because she lives in an age when parents are expected to care for their children, and her parents still actively chose not to. crystal is especially traumatized because even tho she is in upper class which may have a higher rate of willful parental neglect, the expectation is still that parents love their children. moreover crystal is psychic, and that's never really been fun. she'll be completely different from all her peers in a fundamental way which she probably never talks about with any of them! so, like, of course when david, a demon, comes along, she lets him in - she's finally with someone who understands and makes her feel less lonely. someone else who's weird and angry and pretty and supernatural. and then he, too, betrays her. there is also almost certainly a race element, which may further disassociate her from her peers, seeing as the upper class is usually very white.

jenny. so jenny grew up as a lesbian in the 90s. now, i don't know much about washington state, but i do know that they legalized gay marriage in 2012. which means for over half of jenny's life, she was living with the knowledge that she would never get to live the same type of life as her peers; though the white picket fence americana dream may have been less prevalent by the 90s, it still was very ingrained in american society - especially small town society. i wonder if part of jenny's gothic fashion is to distinguish herself from other people - if she cannot have the same lives as them, then no one will make the mistake of assuming she will.

so the night nurse is lonely in a very unique way. she is lonely because she does not have a proper conception of an actual human life. she has no friends or relationships - nor does she want to; she does not know what they are like. and, i think, because she exists so outside of time and removed from society, that it makes her inherently lonely. she is lonely because somehow she was created and somehow someone convinced her that her only purpose in life is to collect lost children and she is satisfied with this but she is also alone. she has no time period to be contextualized in, and that in itself is the context.

niko is lonely because her dad is dead and her mom lives in a different continent. and i think that because she is able to utilize manga and cartoons as a form of escapism, it allows her to fill that void of devastating loneliness a bit more. she lives in a world where if she doesn't want to think she does not have to. she is not obligated to be courageous. however, she also lives in a world where she is able to choose to self-isolate, even if that isn't good for her. so when she is sad she hides away because she can and it's scary and she doesn't want to do it alone but she doesn't want to do it with her mom. i've seen people saying crystal is such a teenage girl but niko? niko wants her mom to comfort her but doesn't want to talk to her mom. niko is horribly lonely and it's only a gay victorian twink who can get her to smile again. niko is lonely because she exists in a world which allows her to be and it takes someone who is not from this time to help her move past this

charles. god, we all know how lonely charles is. biracial, abused by his father, probably bisexual, good with people yet killed via hate crime, morally upstanding. charles is the epitome of loneliness because he grows up in such a particular moment of time. he lives in the 80s. feminism and queer rights have been radically shifting in the past two decades. the 80s have huge amounts conservative pushback from these movements. so, yeah, being gay isn't a crime anymore, but gendered expectations are being reestablished in a new harmful way. so, yeah, charles is growing up in a time of progress, but he's also growing up in a household which will absolutely be anti-progress, and ergo charles is stuck in this dichotomy of he could hypothetically have everything but that would mean losing everything, too. he's lonely because his dad beats him. he's lonely because his mom doesn't say anything. he's lonely because he has a piercing but his dad locked him in his room for three days after it. he's lonely because he attends a boarding school which rich racist pricks. he's lonely because never once in his life has he admitted how the intersection of all his identities puts him in a situation where he is completely alone. and he isn't alone -he's got edwin- but their experiences with loneliness are vastly different.

as i have said a stupid number of times, dead boy detectives is a story about loneliness. and the writers made these characters so damn brilliantly because they all make so much sense in the context they were raised in.

we are all shaped by the context's we're raised in. everyone is raised at a different moment in history in different environments with different families. human experiences are so unique that everyone is inherently lonely. but lonely does not mean alone and lonely does not mean forever. it means when you were fourteen you cried yourself to sleep but now you're twenty and know how to play cricket and your friends come to all of your matches. it means you were raised in a world that was cruel and unforgiving, AND it means that because of that you don't have to be. dead boy detectives teaches us that we're all horribly lonely, and maybe that makes each other a little less lonely

i'll take some of your burden if you'll take some of mine, and whatnot

[yanderes-galore]

Oooh how about yandere scenario where Macaque grows obsessed with the platonic female travel healer reader who’s also a monkey demon , who was around him when he came back from the dead, and nurse him back to health, but what if reader had to leave after his treatment was done👀 (if you want to include a prompt , maybe 1 “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” From ddarker-dreams)

I assume you meant they're both platonic with each other and not just the obsession being platonic. Either way, I struggled on this plot-wise... but I hope it came out okay.

Familiar Face

Yandere! Platonic! Macaque with Healer! Monkey Demon! Darling Scenario

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Clingy behavior, Possessive behavior, Macaque has a thing for scents, Kidnapping, Forced companionship.

Macaque was a face you haven't seen in a long time.

You already knew of him, as a fellow monkey demon you naturally knew of the others. You were on friendly terms with Wukong and Macaque when the two got along with one another. Yet after their falling out, and Macaque being sent to the Underworld to suffer, you took up the job of a wandering healer.

While Wukong became a hero as the Monkey King, you wandered the lands helping those in need. Many knew you as a helpful monkey demon compared to your more mischievous compatriots. Always finding those in need to help... before leaving on your way again.

You've had many patients. Human and demon alike. However... you don't think you could have ever been prepared for meeting who you did today.

Macaque himself, a thousand-yard stare on his face as he looks... lost? Confused?

You kept your distance until he collapsed on the ground, then you felt obligated to help.

Your usual routine was to set up a camp to help your patients. Quickly you got to work setting up a tent with two bedrolls before doing your best to pick up the other monkey demon. Once setting him inside... you got to work.

You started with an herbal remedy for exhaustion, making a tea before waking Macaque up. Naturally... your old friend was... combative. You should've expected that from someone supposedly straight out of the underworld.

It took a lot of reasoning, bickering, and some restraints before Macaque calmed down. It appeared the other monkey didn't recognize you at first. Yet once you calmed him and passed over your remedy, you saw a glint of recognition in his eyes.

There's a long silence as Macaque recovers. You let him keep quiet, sitting back in your tent as he sips your remedy. What feels like a half an hour passes before he acknowledges you properly.

"... So... it's you...?" Macaque murmurs, still recovering as he sips the tea you gave him. It's not entirely his thing but it is helping. You snort, looking him over as your tail sways.

"Yeah, you're lucky I crossed your path when I did...." You sigh, curiously watching the shadow monkey. "You aren't supposed to be here... How'd you even get here?"

There's a long awkward pause before Macaque laughs nervously.

"Long story! I guess you could say I got some help... I promise I'll... behave this time." Macaque laughs softly, although you can tell it's a bit forced. "Geez... You're doing this now? Running around doing...?"

"I help people, Macaque." You answer, checking over your supplies. "That's what I've chosen to dedicate my time to. I roam and help people."

"You're playing hero?" Macaque scoffs, immediately reminded of the fact you and Wukong got to be helpful while he was cast into the depths. "You taking after him?"

"It's nothing like that." You huff, sitting in front of him. Macaque can't help but watch you intently... despite the edge in his tone. "I get restless sitting still. People look to me for help. I enjoy doing that."

Macaque merely gives a grunt of disapproval as he curls his tail around himself. It was... pleasant to see a familiar face. He's just... envious he had to suffer for so long.

You're still just as helpful as he remembers... it's both pleasant and infuriating.

"Right, of course, free spirit and all...." Macaque murmurs, golden eyes trained on you before freezing when you came closer.

"I'm checking you over for wounds...." You reassure him, taking note of his suddenly flicking tail. "Stop acting so damn grumpy... I'm trying to help...."

Macaque is stunned by your comment but reluctantly relents. He can't deny he always enjoyed your scent and touch. You were always soothing... always easing his stress even around Wukong.

The word fate flashes into his mind but he flinches and ignores it. He was simply... lucky. Lucky to have met you again... one of his best companions...

Fate and destiny are such silly concepts.

But as Macaque lets you check him over, he can't help but... admire you still. You two weren't just on "friendly terms" to him. To him... you two were true friends.

Yet when he confronted Wukong and the two fought... He saw his female monkey friend nowhere.

At the time, and a little now, Macaque resented you for that. You were no doubt either told by Wukong to leave or were off helping someone else. All while Macaque was left to suffer without your presence.

Smelling your scent, the distinct scent of herbs and female monkey, only brought up memories. Memories of he, Wukong, and you together. Memories before all the hurt.

The thought nearly brings tears to his golden eyes but he hides it. He shakes a bit at the feeling, causing you to look up at him confused. Macaque merely glares... even when he doesn't mean it.

Having you help him felt like no coincidence...

If fate... destiny really brought you two together...

Macaque would be a fool to let you slip out of his grasp again.

---

Recovery didn't take long for Macaque. Yet the fellow mystic monkey managed to drag out your stay for an entire week and a half. He excused it as 'catching up'... all in hopes of seeing his healer monkey friend again.

You often monitored Macaque carefully throughout his recovery. While normally cunning and mischievous, he seemed strangely behaved with you. He took every remedy you gave him with no complaint and overall just acted playful.

It reminded you of old times when your only concerns was eating fruit with your friends. You could tell Macaque was particularly fond of those times. Throughout the week he kept bringing them up, smiling as he clung to you.

Your reunion was surprisingly sweet with him. You were so caught up in remembering those pleasant memories you nearly didn't notice his change in demeanor. The longer he was with you... the clingier he was.

Despite being friends, Macaque often wrapped his arms around you. His tail always right around your waist or entwined with your own. You don't recall him being this clingy before...

But you could only guess what he went through.

Your time with him was pleasant yet you couldn't shake the thought of there being something... off. Not only was his appearance suspicious, but he seemed way too... clingy. You enjoyed seeing your old friend again...

Yet you should really continue on your way....

"You're all healed." You comment, putting your things away. "It was nice to see you again, old friend... Behave, will you?"

Macaque watches you pack up your supplies, dread pooling in his gut for a moment. He... had originally made it his goal to get revenge on Wukong... but he didn't want you to leave. He should let you leave and go about his original plan...

Yet the idea of losing your scent, your warmth...

You freeze when Macaque grabs your tail, peeking over your shoulder. He forces a grin when you glance back at him. You feel intimidated immediately as his grip tightens.

"Leaving so soon, friend?" Macaque purrs playfully, his voice barely hiding a dangerous tone. "I thought you liked me around?

"Macaque, let me go. We'll meet again some other day..." You reason, only for Macaque to shake his head with a chuckle.

"Sorry, girl..." Macaque whispers, pulling you close. "Don't think I can let you do that...."

"Let go, Macaque...!" You growl, earning another chuckle from the shadow behind you.

"Why ever would I do that?" Macaque muses, slinking in front of you. "Don't you know I missed you, my friend? I missed the girl of our mystic friend group... and how she always helped people..."

Macaque steps closer, his stance predatory.

"Even if the person she helped was dangerous..." Macaque coos, leaning in to place a hand on your shoulder. "She still helped... even if it got her into trouble... isn't that right, friend?"

"Wh—?" You go to respond, yet dark hands erupt from your own shadow and trap you. You struggle the best you can, panicking. Macaque only watches with a grin, tail swaying.

"So sorry to do this... but I can't just let you go now, can I?" Macaque pouts, circling you. "I haven't seen you for what feels like millennium. Being lonely really hurts...."

Macaque then embraces you from the front after he finishes his circle, his tail wrapping around yours securely.

"Don't you know we were meant to meet again?" Macaque whispers with a mischievous grin. "You were meant to help me. Us, two friends, together again...!"

You still try to struggle, but Macaque's grip tightens.

"Afraid I can't let you go anywhere, friend." Macaque purrs, patting your head.

"You're stuck with me now... destiny demands it...." Macaque hums, playful as he nuzzles into your fur.

"You've always been too naive for your own good... Helping people can be dangerous, y'know...!"

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Eyes and Eyefestation who actually do want their partner to look at them?

Eyes

"Don't look at me, don't look at me, don't look at me-" is what they used to say in the past in frantic undiscernible whispers, wishing they didn't cause hotel visitors physical (and psychological) pain.

Now that they have you as a partner--wearing special glasses/contacts to block 90% of the damage they'd normally cause--they are delighted that you could look at them and talk without being in agony!

You never really got to see their eyes before, and now that you could and also saw the blue flaming aura surrounding them...

You swear you're staring back at a literal angel.

Something truly ethereal.

Since then, they've kept you company throughout the hotel, hanging out near the key and the real door, lighting up dark rooms and warning you of Rush in the greenhouse.

When you're stuck in the mines, Eyes still keeps up with you via teleportation, making their presence known and trying to help where they can (ie blinding Giggles).

But they've grown rather needy since realizing you could look at them.....as now they want you to do nothing but that.

It's tough when you gotta hide, look for Screech, or avoid Figure, Seek, and the Grumbles. And often the tiniest distraction meant starting back at the broken elevator.

But your death isn't too concerning to Eyes, as you'll just come back and be able to look at them more and more.

Why would you ever wanna stop?

Eyefestation

After learning she stuck around the Hadal Blacksite specifically to spite humans, you thought she'd put you into that same category of awful people who tortured her with injections..

But after you found your own workaround her radiation beams, she's..actually grown quite fond of you, impressed with your ability to adapt and meet her one request:

Look

Look

Look.

And indeed you do...or at least whenever it's safe.

I hc she has object permamance so if you're just walking by an Abstractee, she'll get upset thinking it took you away from her..

Only to be content when you reappear a second later.

Unlike Eyes, she knows you have to prioritize avoiding Pandemonium, and Mr. Lopee certainly won't allow you to stay behind and chat with her if you're with a group.

Still, she's convinced Painter to lock you in more gauntlets with her, and he's surprised, thinking she utterly despised you.

But no, she wants to just look at you and be alone with you. Even for a short time.

And Painter still obliges, now believing you cared more about her than the crystal.

[thelaurenshippen]

genuinely think it's good and healthy to follow at least one person in each of your fandoms who reblogs good gifsets but has just...absolutely dogshit takes on the show, or who ships that ship you despise. keeps things fresh. keeps things grounded. you gotta stay humble

[sergle]

sergle i thought you didn't like ppl objectifying you :/

god okay this gave me whiplash. make sure you remember how to read before proceeding. sound words out for a friend or family member if you need to. People Being Thirsty in my general direction is different from people like. seeing me only as JO material. I Don't Like people thinking they're smooth as hell trying to dm me what they assume women want to hear. Describing some cringe ass shit. I Do Like a compliment. I even like a compliment that is clearly thirsty. I don't think "I've jacked off to you" is a compliment. not from yall anyway. super controversial, I know. a fat fetish blog following me and reblogging my selfies Is objectification. someone being vaguely horny can be good, or bad, or funny and I show it to ppl on discord and laugh- depends on the specifics. Most of the people following me are too uwu to even get close to the line. they've backed so far away from the line out of fear that they tripped over something while they were backing up and it was embarrassing for them. People trying to push me into sex work specifically while I'm fundraising, because they know I'm more vulnerable at that time and they want to take advantage of me needing money, is definitely sexual harassment, that's definitely me being objectified. the ask I just got, though, was not that. 😭 just telling me that some girls think I'm hot? that is tepid as hell. thinking someone is attractive isn't objectifying them. all attraction is not objectification. please. work with me here

[softshuji]

Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.

[stormyweaver]

it's been a rough week tbh. having three days off honestly exhausted me more than energized me. that piled with a ton of OTHER shit i won't get into bc it's just stressing me out even more, and...

fuck. i've never felt so fucking incapable and simultaneously proud of myself.

[husband-steve-cortez]

Zaeed's loyalty mission really would have been better if the mission was explicitly to take out Vido and we knew this beforehand, and freeing the hostages technically wasn't what Zaeed was being paid for here.

Then it's "do the mission to the letter, take out a really bad guy and get Zaeed's loyalty at a cost" as the renegade option and "fail the mission (and Zaeed) and save the hostages" as a paragon option.

Because even for a renegade Shep. Letting Zaeed go the fuck off, blow up a refinery, bitch at you, and leave a bunch of people to die just so Zaeed can get some revenge and feel good about himself and be more loyal is a lot to swallow.

Not impossible to justify by any means (I make Ezra do it and he's not even really a renegade lol), and not every renegade option needs to be super justifiable. But it is a lot. Some of that even being directly contradictory to how renegades are typically characterized (saying fuck you you're acting crazy to Zaeed is kind of renegade to me tbh).

Vido is a bad dude that needs taken out and Zaeed will claim killing him solves a lot of problems, and I don't doubt it, but it would've been better justified if Vido was on our radar beforehand and needing to explicitly take him out was what we were here to do (Zaeed can still not reveal his personal stake until we get there, that I like).

[thursdaygrl]

feeling a little :///

[tardis--dreams]

One thing you need to know about me is that I will never reblog anything that has the addition "this should be reblogged by everyone" or anything of the like.

[wasabikitcat]

the loneliness of not having close friends vs the desire to not Be Perceived

[llycaons]

not that they were on the ships list but some of the boring default m/f ships reminded me of how much I hate wq/jc. like 🤢🤢🤢🤢🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

[medicinemane]

Man, I'm just kind of dazed today

I woke up yesterday around 9am, didn't do much for the day, went to bed... realized it was too hot to fall asleep (cause my window is broken so I can't open it)

So I got up, filled 3 box with papers as I sorted out the magazines and mail

Then I needed to stay up till after 8am so I could go to the post office to return that bowl. Came back and laid down but... you know when your body just feels wired and you really need to sleep but can't? Probably cause it's pumping out hormones to keep me awake to compensate for me being so tired, that's my guess based on how it feels

Anyway, lay down and kind of drift off with a video in the background, but... I think I was just on the verge of sleep but not able to cross over... like dozing at best

Then I hear Bart making noise and look over and he's acting like he's hunting a mouse, and sure enough he was, so he helps me cup it, and then I go take it to a field outside of town to hopefully live a better life... but clearly wasn't sleeping if I'm doing that

And... I'm still up. I think I'm gonna try and take another crack at sleeping... I hope I can do it. Things do at least feel a bit cooler

But yeah, I'm a mess today, gonna be two days worth of dash to look through whenever I get up, and then I can also respond to the couple messages I've got

But oof... hate feeling like this. The non depressed part of me wants to die just because maybe then I could finally rest

[chronicbitchsyndrome]

i have been in community with profoundly developmentally disabled peers and peers with brain damage my whole life, bc i had a childhood diagnosis. i have also been leftist my whole life; my mother was a marxist and raised me that way, and while their politics were absolute dogshit, they were lefty dogshit.

my entire life, i have seen leftist educators throw mentally disabled people away as "lost causes" because they couldn't engage with the material the way it was being presented. leftist outreach and education does, genuinely, have a massive lack of accessible material. to be blunt, people are not interested in retrofitting their leftist outreach to be accessible to people who learn best through episodes of sesame street.

as in, i have repeatedly faced outright laughter and cruelty over the idea that this could be a priority. or even something that we consider doing at all.

"people who are that mentally disabled don't need to know about these things," the kindest interpretation goes. ("people who are that mentally disabled don't interact with the world, anyway, they're all in institutions or monitored 24/7 by their parents," the uncharitable underlying assumptions go. "they wouldn't be a worker who needs a union. or a library attendee. or a member of the community garden. or a volunteer at the food bank. or or or")

the people i have seen this hurt the worst, over and over again, are profoundly mentally disabled people of color whose lack of access to accessible antiracist education is causing real danger in their lives. institutionalized disabled people of color who have learned racist ideology and behaviors from white authority, whether they were adopted by white families or incarcerated in care institutions run by white staff. who are treated lower than garbage by leftist educators, who view them as "lost causes," as unworthy of time and effort and attention, as deserving of their abuses because they... what... internalized the abuses that make up every aspect of their lives since birth?

i see people saying things in this conversation like "disability isn't an excuse for racism or transphobia or whatever, people have the obligation to improve themselves." oh, believe me, i have seen again and again how many privileged disabled people utilize their disabilities to punch down on others, try to escape accountability for their punching down by citing disability. but individual weaponization of identity is just that: weaponization of identity.

the power structures at play are what they are. it is a noble and admirable goal to want leftist outreach and education to be more accessible to all. if that is truly your goal, you must eventually reckon with the existence of people who do, actually, really need it presented in a picture book. or an episode of bluey. or a conversation where you only use examples of people they know in real life, using things that happened to them personally. the existence of people who cannot grasp forms of abstract reasoning, who need information presented as rules, or as guidelines, or as categories. the idea that yes, fully grown adults who need daniel tiger to explain racism to them are human beings who not only deserve access to that very thing, but who also deserve to be a part of leftist spaces and benefit from leftist organizing. are people for whom it might be INTEGRAL they get to be a part of leftism. are victims of racism themselves and suffering without access to antiracist spaces and community and support.

and you will need to reckon with the abject cruelty of your peers who laugh and mock the very idea of this. you need to reckon with the fact that a lot of people you respect, a lot of leftists doing genuinely good work, will respond to this by making fun of the people you're serving, even outright telling you their violent fantasies about these people. that is the experience of organizing in leftist spaces for profoundly disabled people. that is why so many of us burn out so fast. there IS a structural problem with mentally disabled people being seen as disposable and not a part of community. and it is EXTREMELY present in leftist organizing and outreach efforts.

[caparrucia]

Full offense and pun fully intended, but I genuinely think the very existence of "dead dove, do not eat" was a fucking canary in the mines, and no one really paid attention.

Because the tag itself was created as a response to a fandom-wide tendency to disregard warnings and assume tagging was exaggerated. And then the same fucking idiots reading those tags describing things they found upsetting or disturbing or just not to their taste would STILL click into the stories and give the writer's grief about it.

And as a response writers began using the tag to signal "no, really, I MEAN the tags!"

But like.

If you really think about it, that's a solution to a different problem. The solution to "I know you tagged your story appropriately but I chose to disregard the tags and warnings by reading it anyway, even though I knew it would upset me, so now I'm upset and making it your problem" is frankly a block, a ban and wide-spread blacklisting. But fandom as a whole is fucking awful at handling bad faith, insidious arguments that appeal to community inclusion and weaponize the fact most people participating in fandom want to share the space with others, as opposed to hurting people.

So instead of upfront ridiculing this kind of maladaptive attempt to foster one's own emotional self-regulation onto random strangers on the internet, fandom compromised and came up with a redundant tag in a good faith attempt to address an imaginary nuance.

There is no nuance to this.

A writer's job is to tag their work correctly. It's not to tag it exhaustively. It's not even to tag it extensively. A writer's sole obligation, as far as AO3 and arguably fandom spaces are concerned, is to make damn sure that the tags they put on their story actually match whatever is going on in that story.

That's it.

That's all.

"But what if I don't want to read X?" Well, you don't read fic that's tagged X.

"But what if I read something that wasn't tagged X?" Well, that's very unfortunate for you, but if it is genuinely that upsetting, you have a responsibility to yourself to only browse things explicitly tagged to not include X.

"But that's not a lot of fic!" Hi, you must be new here, yes, welcome to fandom. Most of our spaces are built explicitly as a reaction to There's Not Enough Of The Thing I Want, both in canon and fandom.

"But there are things on the internet that I don't like!" Yeah, and they are also out there, offline. And, here's the thing, things existing even though we personally dislike or even hate or even flat out find offensive/gross/immoral/unspeakable existing is the price we pay to secure our right to exist as individuals and creators, regardless of who finds US personally unpleasant, hateful or flat out offensive/gross/immoral/unspeakable.

"But what about [illegal thing]?!" So the thing itself is illegal, because the thing itself has been deemed harmful. But your goddamn cop-poisoned authoritarian little heart needs to learn that sometimes things are illegal that aren't harmful, and defaulting to "but illegal!" is a surefire way to end up on the wrong side of the fascism pop quiz. You're not a figure of authority and the more you demand to control and exercise authority by command, rather than leadership, the less impressive you seem. You know how you make actual, genuine change in a community? You center harm and argue in good faith to find accommodations and spread awareness of real, actual problems.

But let's play your game. Let's pretend we're all brainwashed cop-abiding little cogs that do not own a single working brain cell to exercise critical thinking with. 99% of the time, when you cry about any given thing "being illegal!!!" you're correct only so far as the THING itself being illegal. The act or object is illegal. Depiction of it is not. You know why, dipshit? Because if depiction of the thing were illegal, you wouldn't be able to talk about it. You wouldn't be able to educate about it. You wouldn't be able to reexamine and discuss and understand the thing, how and why and where it happens and how to prevent it. And yeah, depiction being legal opens the door for people to make depictions that are in bad taste or probably not appropriate. Sure. But that's the price we pay, creating tools to demystify some of the most horrific things in the world and support the people who've survived them. The net good of those tools existing outweighs the harm of people misusing them.

"You're defending the indefensible!" No, you're clumsily stumbling into a conversation that's been going on for centuries, with your elementary school understanding of morality and your bone-deep police state rot filtering your perception of reality, and insisting you figured it out and everyone else at the table is an idiot for not agreeing with you. Shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down and read a goddamn book.