#and then i got scared out of playing a bard because im like oh well sometimes i just dont know what to say in a situation

[suddenrundown]

currently repeating "you are under no obligation to be good at the things you do for fun" to myself over and over

[divorcedwife]

What rpgs have u liked/played and how did u like them? :) i saw that your fave is pillars 1 and i love the setting n story so much (i just loooooathe real time with pause combat unfortunately. This also has soured da origins to me a lot. Do action pls or even better turn based but not that) also u have a lot of amazing anders art <3

pillars 1 my beloved!! maybe you already know but i must mention it just in case - did you see that pillars 2 deadfire has turn by turn combat? i don't think it's as good as the first in terms of writing, but when they introduced turn by turn, it became one of my favorites just for that. it made me so violent because combat went from a necessary evil to my favorite part of the game, so i was just going around the world looking for people to fight. and it really has its moments, i loved serafen and the first quest with the pirates, and it is a game where you can actually roleplay and cause real harm without intending to if you just listen to your companions all the time. they're not all good people.......

and bg3 also has combat that i really loved :-) i played it as a bard and as a rogue and i really loved both. i loved playing a support character and not feeling like the main character so much, and as dark urge, i thought rogue combat played with the idea of the urge very beautifully because i was so good at killing that i tended to skip dialogues and just kill.... i just wish i could reverse the clock and talk the devs out of constantly rewriting it ship of theseus style. the companions to me already had an issue of being too friendly and too innocent in their sufferings in a way i didn't find compelling, so making them even more into fandom versions of themselves is just evil

but i think that's all for RPGs where i really like the combat, all my other favorite games have real-time strategy and i just do my best. kotor 1 & 2 have it, although i enjoy it more when i unlock fucked up evil force powers. i still do love dragon age origins & 2, and have some fondness for dai because i really like the characters. and dao was largely improved for me by playing a mage instead of an archer ; if i can say anything nice about datv, it's that they've made archery good for the first time ever in dragon age. being an archer in dai is especially sad, you have a range of like two meters

i also tried the first baldur's gate game but i got too scared and confused with the companions management and the way the story progresses - like i strayed from the main quest and that locked me out of meeting jaheira, so i had to restart and redo all of that and it was painful. i think i could play it if i had some guide to follow or something, i just don't have the 1990s gamer disposition. but i really liked xan, i made him leader of the party so i could hear him complain all the time

& i think that's kind of it...! im not a huge gamer in that i don't try tons of different games, i just mostly obsess and replay the same ones over and over again. there's some others i could mention - like i played outer worlds and i liked it ok, i played fallout new vegas but it wasn't really my style and i didn't finish, and oh wait i just remembered i played all three mass effect games! well, i liked the first game and hated 2 and 3, which may be my most controversial hill to die on but i must be true

[kimmkitsuragi]

okay i Finally sat down to play tonight lmao and i killed yurgir !! it was fun here are 3 thoughts:

1) i killed him in combat the last time, because well um. our party approached the area kinda weirdly. i didnt even have the chance to talk w him, i just got into combat lol. but this time!!! this time i talked with him!! since im a bard, i decided it's only fair to make him kill himself this time lmao <3

2) i love how astarion disapproves first, and then takes his disapproval back and gives approval + inspiration instead 💀 he's sooooo terrified he forgets that he doesn't even like getting into combat most of the time- i mean cmon man, isnt avoiding combat with manipulation your whole thing? like if it was any other combat, you would be screaming crying throwing up (positive) at the chance of talking our way out of it but noooo once it's about you, you get so scared of losing your chance that you dont even consider talking out of it. loser (affectionate)

3) kicking my feet giggling at the fact that raphael just gives people SONGS in the place of demonic contracts. he fascinates me so much . disney villain ass devil. oh and now im so SURE that he decided to help astarion just to piss daddy dearest off. best supporting role in a video game in the year of 2023 (bafta approved)

[amphii-writes]

Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together 

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t 

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi 

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone 

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED 

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared" 

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now" 

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh? 

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"

[crushcandles]

im sorry work was bad but I am allllwaaayyysss here to talk about geralt calling jaskier pup esp if jaskier does something kinda stupid and gets hurt? like accidentally breaking a finger and realizing he won’t be able to play the lute for a while and at first geralt doesn’t see the big deal but then jaskier looks up with big teary eyes and geralts like “oh, pup” and cares for him really gently?? Or the classic nilfgaard captures jaskier and when geralt rescues him a hoarse, kinda desperate “pup”

Yes, anon, yes. This is the real good hurt/comfort, the kind you feel in your belly. Please send me 800 messages because you’ve got me by the soul. I’ve been entertaining myself with a kind of The Eagle-style scenario that involves Geralt having to hold Jaskier down for some emergency medical attention and there’s nowhere for them to look but at each other. Jaskier’s in pain, sweating and pale and scared and Geralt can’t let his shoulders go or he’d probably fling himself off the table.

It’s so loud - the healer’s yelling at his assistant and the wound on Jaskier’s thigh, and Jaskier’s panting – so Geralt doesn’t know if Jaskier can hear him when he says, “Jaskier, you’ll be fine. Jaskier. Pup. Calm down.”

The healer puts his blade into the wound and Jaskier closes his eyes, trembling hard but being good and staying still.

+

It’s a whole thing. But this capture scenario is also incredible! Rescuing?!?!? I am so down. Tell me all of your thoughts!!

It’s more a stealth mission than a hack and slash, which means Geralt has to creep around, half-hearing snatches of Nilfgaardian guards talking about the bard in the cells, how he’s stupid but pretty, better with the bruises. How it’ll be really fun once the witcher he follows around comes to haul him out.

Geralt thinks a lot of bloody, tearing thoughts as he moves through the shadows behind the guards, as he finds the jailer with the ring of keys. The hardest to hold thoughts come as he casts Axii. He longs for a different sign or his sword, but settles for the jailer putting his keys on the hook by the door and taking himself for a long walk in a monster-infested forest. He gets the keys and douses the torches as far as his magic can reach. He doesn’t need the light to find Jaskier. Geralt can smell him and hear his heart beating.

He’s in the middle cell, between a drunk and someone beaten so bloody they’re almost dead. He stands up out of the straw on the floor when Geralt opens the door.

“I’m not afraid,” he tells the dark, although there’s no way he can see Geralt as well as Geralt can see him. He has a bruise on the side of his mouth and one of his eyes, but he’s standing tall, his hands in fists despite how hard his heart is hammering. So brave despite everything that’s happened to him.

Geralt gets to him quickly and startles him by cupping his bruised cheek with his gloved hand. Jaskier flinches, and then freezes when Geralt’s thumb passes over his lips.

“Pup,” Geralt whispers hoarsely. He hasn’t spoken since the Nilfgaardians captured Jaskier. Hasn’t had anyone to speak to. “Pup. It’s me.”

“Geralt?” Jaskier sounds surprised, but he reaches out to get his hands on Geralt, starting to cling.

[diamondcamefromhell]

Dance

Summary: this was a request by @rosasteri [who may as well be dubbed my creative muse bc the request i get from them make me super inspired ]“ hi, can I request Jaskier x reader? jask, geralt and reader stay in tavern. jaskier plays his music, but other bard comes and jaskier decides to take a rest. people start to dance so jaskier offers to reader his hand and trying to convince her to dance. but reader doesn't know how to dance so Jask teaches her “

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 2,019

A/N: i really dont have anything to say, lmao, for some reason im at a loss for words today - spent most of it writing original story, and now have an this dying rge to read percy jackson, so guess i know what i will do tonight, lol, either way

any and all feedback is appreciated and can be left anonymously on my ask page <3

I heard raindrops outside before Jaskier strung his lute again. I peak out the window to see lighting strike somewhere far away. The tavern, however is dry and safe. A fireplace is lit near me, providing a good bit of warmth. I lean my back against it now, looking at Jask.

His shadows remind me of the monsters Geralt slays, splashed across the floor. The wood creaks beneath his feet, but his music overpowers it as his singing fills the room. I hear Geralt grunt in front of me as he chugs his ale. Our eyes meet, and while he seems annoyed, he also looks happy. He got rid of some noonwraiths today, so we were celebrating. The townsfolk were welcoming to their newly found hero and his sidekicks.

Jaskier prances to our table, as if to check if his friends were paying attention to him. He made it really hard not to. I wink at him, as he offers me a smile, dancing away now. I sip my wine, taking eyes off the bard to look at the witcher. His gaze was glued to the window, but a smile was on his lips. I decided not to bother.

I hear some disturbance come from the entrance, as a man rushes in. He’s wet from the rain, but I doubt he cares about that. From underneath his jacket he pulls out a lute, inspecting it to see if there is any rain damage on it. I see his shoulders relax and the answer is clear.

Jaskier seems to notice a fellow bard too, stopping his lute. He waves the guy in, allowing him to take the honours of entertaining the guests, as he drops next to Geralt.

“I need a break.” He exhales the words, taking his ale and sipping it.

“Oh yes, being a bard is sure tiring.” Geralt teases, as Jask nudges him.

“Try to do it yourself, then.” I smirk at them, twirling the drink in my glass. “Y/N, do you think being a bard is easy?”

“Easier than being a witcher.” I mumble, chuckling. “But sure, it’s not easy.”

“I have to entertain the masses, you know what happens when they aren’t pleased?” Jaskier dramatically throws his hands in the air, looking to Geralt and back to me.

“They throw rocks at you?” I can’t help but let out a laugh and Geralt’s comment, who in response smirks. “Because that’s what some do when they see a witcher. They throw rocks or whatever happens to be at their disposal. One time it was a cat.”

“Oh no.” I say, now fully laughing. I see Jaskier break character too, as he giggles. “Cats hate you, Geralt.”

“Feelings mutual.” He smirks, as I giggle again.

The silence between is comfortable, but soon the rained upon bard fills it. His lute sounds different, not the sounds I’m used to, but it’s still pleasant. His voice now fills the tavern and I steal a glance at Jaskier, to see what he thinks.

From what I can tell, he likes it. His lips are curled in a smile, and he’s nodding along, without realizing it. I relax, glad he’s not getting competitive. Our eyes meet and he sticks his tongue out.

“I wont try to overplay him.” He says, as I smirk.

“Not again.” Geralt corrects the bard, who flushes red, downing his drink.

“Shut up.” He practically gargles at us.

I laugh. One time at a similar evening, another bard came in and Jaskier wasn’t happy about it. He also wasn’t on his first ale. Or his fifth, for that matter. So he tried to overplay the other guy, and things went wrong faster than Geralt and I could grasp. Our good friend was trying so hard, he danced into a pillar, breaking his lute in half, and then crying.

We helped him out. After we stopped laughing.

I see people spring to their feet now, as the empty space is filling up with patrons, dancing. Couples and friends alike start to move. In turn, bard makes his melody more cheery. I appreciate that, nudging my head side to side in beat.

“Y/N! Let’s dance!” Jaskier yells suddenly, startling me. I stare at the bard, who is already on his feet.

“Jaskier, you know I don’t dance.” I say, as he rolls his eyes.

“Stop being a party pooper and just do it.” He teases as I cross my arms. He grabs my shoulder shaking me.

“I don’t know how to dance!” I argue, and he stops the shaking only to start poking my arm.

“I’ll teach you.” He argues back and I see Geralt raise his eyebrows.

“Teach Y/N how to dance into pillars? Don’t let her embarrass herself like that.” I give witcher a thankful look, but Jaskier is relentless.

“Geralt, fuck off.” He puts his hand right up Geralt’s face, before looking to me again. “Y/N, let’s go!”

“Fine!” I finally give in, as Geralt looks like he is really close to losing his shit and hitting Jask or, gods forbid, his lute. I’d rather avoid another broken-lute-and-cry situation, as funny as it was.

I lazily stand up, and before I can even gain proper footing, Jaskier drags me out. I nearly run into one of the dancers, but at a last second, Jask pulls me out of the way. I glare at the bard who offers me an apologetic smile.

I straighten up, as he starts to step around, dancing. I blankly stare at him, not moving an inch of my body. Jaskier sighs, grabbing my hand and waving it around.

“Loosen up, Y/N.” I roll my eyes.

“I’m dancing. It’s called a statue.” I tease, as Jaskier nudges me, laughing.

“Just step around.” I raise my eyebrows. “Like you really need to use the restroom, but in time with the music.”

“What now?” I laugh, as he rolls his eyes, pulling away.

I try to take his advice the best of my ability, stepping around a little, but timing it with the music. Jaskier grins and I can tell he’s trying to hold back a laugh. I stop, getting embarrassed, once he realizes that, he laughs and hugs me.

“I’m sorry, it’s just your legs, they move, but from waist up you look dead.” He laughs in my ear as my face heats up.

“Well should I just act like I’m dying and shake all around?” He snickers, pulling away. His hand still on my shoulder now slides to my hand.

“Let me lead you.” I press my lips, nodding.

“Sure.” I say, through my teeth.

“Do the leg thing.” I am not sure what he means, so the bard sighs. “The toilet dance.”

“Right.”

I do ‘the leg thing’ as Jask gently moves my arms around. He sees that I am not showing much, if any, restraint, so he grows more confident and bold in his moves. I feel like a ragdoll, dragged around, and he starts spinning.

Until I trip, falling and getting under his feet. He crashes on top of me, and I swear I hear Geralt laugh.

“I can’t breathe!” I grunt, as I feel Jaskier vibrate on top of me. It takes me a moment to realize he’s laughing. I try to push him, but the bard just won’t budge. “Jaskier, for the love of god!”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He says, finally lifting himself off me. I glare at him as he extends his arm to me, helping me up. He breaks out into laughter yet again. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” I say, cleaning my dress with my hands. I feel my cheeks heat up as I see people snickering looking our way.

“Like you hate me.” He pokes my cheek, removing his hand before I can punch it away.

“But I do.” I respond, as the bard ends his song. People cheer for him, as Jaskier and I stare at each other. I struggle to keep a straight face, breaking into a smile. “I hate you.”

“Sure you do.” Jaskier purrs, winking at me, before the bard plays another song, and he starts dancing around.

I don’t wait for him to drag me around again, and I start moving. I do the toilet dance, not forgetting my upper body this time. Jaskier looks me up and down, smiling. The tune pics up in speed, and I struggle to keep up, scared of tripping.

“Don’t be so scared.” I hear the familiar voice, as if he just read my mind. I give a quick glare at the bard, before focusing back to my feet. “You’re thinking too much.”

“If I don’t, I’ll be falling too much.” I hiss, still not lifting my eyes, until his hand lands on my shoulder, stopping me.

“Just look at me or close your eyes, and listen to the music.” He does a twist, grinning. “Let the music carry you.”

“I’m not a musician, Jaskier. Music doesn’t carry me.” He beeps my nose in response, an even bigger grin painting across his face.

“Music has a power to carry anyone. You just need to allow it to do it.” He waves me closer to himself, so I lean in. “And the secret is, nobody knows how to dance. That’s why nobody also judges others. We all just… allow ourselves to move.”

I step back, taking a deep breath in. I close my eyes, listening to the fast-cheery tune. I focus on the bards voice, as it wraps around me. I try to let go off my anxiety and fears, letting my body lose. I try not to think of what I’ doing and who may be watching. I follow the notes like my body is the instrument.

It feels freeing, as if some weight has been lifted off my chest.

I open my eyes, expecting to see some judgemental looks, hear some laughter, but just like Jaskier said, nobody was judging me. I even stole a glance at Geralt, who was simply paying no attention to us. I look at the bard, as he gives me an encouraging nod.

The song dramatically slows, and he now steps closer, extending his arm. I never danced with anyone, but Jaskier seemed like a good practise. We were great friends, so if something went wrong, I am less likely to want to dig myself into a hole.

His hand lands on my waist as I put mine on his shoulder. He takes our free hands, lifting it to the side. I know males lead, so I try to do the same thing. Give in to music, and follow the energy, which in this case was my partner. Our eyes meet and his blue ones shine, reflecting the fire. I smile, not even realizing we are, in fact dancing.

“You’re a natural.” He says, gently pushing me so I would turn.

“Maybe you’re a good lead.” He pretends to be surprised, twisting me around.

“Yes, I think that’s it.” He finally agrees, winking, as I let out a giggle. “See, dancing isn’t that bad.”

“I guess so.” I am reluctant to agree, I know he wont let me live this down. “As long as no pillars happen to be in a way.”

“You will never forget it, will you?” He says through his giggle, and I shrug.

“Maybe. But I wont forget this either.” I say, as he gives me a kind smile.

The song ends and I don’t let go off his hand, dragging us back to our table. We sit down and Geralt looks at us.

“You two danced well.” He says and I am taken back, as it is rare to get a compliment from witcher.

“Thanks.” I whisper, looking at the table.

I let go off Jaskiers hand, my heart beating faster. I don’t hear whatever he starts to blabber about, and I notice Geralt look away too. A different song picks up, and I cant stop my feet from dancing under the table.

I look out the window to see the rain has passed. The sky is clearing up.

[microfeelings]

Well you know what they say, if you want to get things out there you... have to get things out there

So Fantasy AU with Game Grumps

Tbh i dont know how this started... It might have been something along the lines of Dan would make a great bard, and Suzy is totally a druid... and everything went downhill from there, but also, who knows how my brain works there is like 4 trains of thought at the same time and they're all roughly have the same thoughts if that makes sense? So I'm thinking of something in 4 different ways and its hard to pinpoint from wich train the idea came from... yall still with me? Cause I tend to ramble when I'm panicking (and also dont know what I'm doing)

The idea is basic dnd party doing missions all over the fantasy land and nearly dying/accidentally destroying cults in the process of getting to the big plot (WICH I DONT HAVE LMAO, remember that comic about the "oh man, two cakes" guy? This is me presenting the ingredients of the cake and calling it a day, I am so sorry, my brain is way over the place to get you something better)

So far I have three paragraphs and is like 80% rambling, I feel like a deer in the headlights. Anyways so the characters;

Arin: half orc barbarian, dont know how to describe my decision other than.... big arms. And also, not to be thirsty on main he would look so good with tusks (sidenote: I love half orcs, never played dnd but honestly i would probably only ever play half orcs). Basic adventurer, left the place he grew up with when he was of age to find himself and get stronger, also since he kinda didnt like himself he tried to get rid of his tusks and long hair, but eventually left them to grow. Always travels with a companion and that doesnt always end well. Sweet, kind and funny, he makes friends wherever he goes, but also lots of enemies (like a lot of people want him death, even demons, and Arin still doesnt understand why cause hes not the worst person ever come on) its hinted through foreshadowing (i talk like this is a fucking show) that he is a vessel for an old moon/sun god, or is the moon/sun god reincarnated and he hasnt remembered yet. And by implied I mean, I've been playing with the idea, but I dont know if I'll follow through (at least its a plot)

Dan: elf bard, of roughly 250+ years, hes got the most experience in the bunch as an adventurer but also feels out of time because he slept through 50 years straight cause he was sick, when he woke up he found out lots of people he knew had died and that kinda fucked him up. Diplomatic in a tipical bard fashion (he will fuck his way out of the mess) but an experienced swordman as well (with both a longsword and a rapier). When he first woke up he got the first job that he could manage (mercenary) where he met Brian, he later left the job because it didnt feel right with him, and started travelling on his own, he met Arin and started travelling with him cause friendship and also barbarian here to make sure you dont die in battle you squishy elf

Suzy: elf druid, keeper of a forest near where Arin lived a season, befriended him when he was younger, never left the forest cause it was her duty to protect it, but it got invaded by a group of mercenaries and it got impossible for her to drive them off (like come on, she is strong, but its really hard to drive off like 50+ people) she tried to ask for help in the nearby towns but nobody came to her aid for being the witch of the forest, until eventually Arin and Dan accepted to help her, she later joined them in adventures. Her body is covered in tattoos, and is trying to convince Arin and Dan to get one as well (pls). Her favorite forms to take are bear, snake and spider (to scare Dan)

Ross: tiefling warlock. The first person to travel with Arin when he was younger, they met when Ross initially tried to kill Arin but failed, they became fast friends and also ride or die for each other, and Ross would never tell him that his patron ordered to kill him and his initial intent was to do it, but ended up liking Arin too much to get trough with it. Loves to antagonize Dan for the sake of it and sometimes gets jealous of him (I was his friend first) wraps his tail around Arin when he gets scared/is sleepy and Arin thinks its adorable

Brian: human rogue. Part of a mercenary crew that is absolutely despicable, met Dan when he first woke up and accepted him as the only partner (he killed all the others) since Dan fell asleep below a tree near the town Brian grew up with, and troughout his life he always saw Dan sleeping under a tree and now hes awake asking for a job here? You stick with me, I promise not to stab you (too much). Since he has a wife and daughter he want to leave the life of mercenary, so Arin agrees to help him kill his own boss (A+ on the handling things boys)

And then there is Barry, who I want to be a recurring character but I never really got into GG until he wasnt there so I dont know a lot about him, and theres a bunch of other characters that are definetly a part but also there is only so much I can write here and theyre kinda more like background

I write like those old fanfic writers who are always interrupting their own work but instead of pluging in something like 'lmao im crazy' im having a panic attack

Also I feel like I need to say this, this is technically polygrumps? But like most romance in any tv show, it add nothing to the plot, I just like shipping

[genderfluidmollymauks]

highlights from last nights session

a continuation from this campaign

the dm, before even fucking starting: i would like one of you to roll a d20 me: i’ll do it. just a straight d20? dm: yah me: i got a nat one the entire party: *laughing* dm: i- ok, so there was a mechanic involved that you had to roll literally anything but that.

also, since i rolled the first nat 1, i have to make the highlights reel. buckle up.

the bard woke up first, and tried to make breakfast. rolled a 3 to make breakfast. we all wake up to the smell of smoke and i, thinking quickly, throw a rock at the fire the bard made

bard: what are you doing! me: it was on fire! bard: i made the fire! that was for breakfast! me: ... oh

the bard braids my hair and several things happen during this time

i ask if she stole a hankerchief

she gets blue hair dye all over her hands

we realize “oh, where’s the ranger, you know, your half brother”

the bard freaks the fuck out when we realize the ranger is missing bc they are. siblings.

me: i call for bambi (the ranger’s deer companion) dm: bambi is right there me: great, can you lead us to febey? dm: bambi looks exasperated. she just goes to a tree and lays down.

the ranger was asleep in the tree. 

the bard threw a rock at him

lots of rocks being thrown this session, as you can tell

after this rock throwing session, we all kept following the trail from yesterday to find the person we were hired to find and then out of nowhere, the dm goes :) roll a perception check

the ranger got a NAT ONE and heard a wounded animal. fun!

there was no wounded animal. just a swamp. 

which we got stuck in

me: fuck me: that was in character

i did that several times throughout the session

me: we need to go to that swamp.  carter: we need to follow the markings me: no, i remember, specifically, loki said to go to the swamp. they said the guy we’re rescuing was stuck in a swamp, and it would be kinda funny if i got stuck too, but that isn’t the point, we’re supposed to go to the swamp. so unless i remembered wrong, or my dm fucked up-

oh, by the way, i was RIGHT, the markings did lead to the swamp :)

we enter a scary hole in the swamp, and we hear a scary disembodied voice ask “WHO GOES THERE”

the artificer, trying to be practical: carter. me, being myself: i’m a paladin the bard, trying so hard to get us safely out of here: we’re the circus 

scary voice: A PALADIN? WHO DO YOU SERVER, PALADIN me, realizing my mistakes: loki scary voice: TELL ME, HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE ROTTING GOD? me, very aware of my mistakes: uh, no, but i always like to keep my options open scary voice: ARE YOU READY TO COMMIT YOUR SOUL TO THE ROTTING GOD? me, so so very aware of my many, many mistakes: im not ready to commit to anything, but if you have an hour long power point presentation-

me, ooc: in the back of my head im just going “loki loki loki help help loki help” dm: loki doesn’t respond me, who knows loki has never shut the fuck up a day in their life, comforted me when i cried, and has always made a point to be there for me when i need them: oh no

a tiefling in a big goopy sack descends from the ceiling and the entire party basically goes “this is either florian or rose’s romancable npc”

me: jeremy i swear to GOD if this is my girlfriend-

it was florian, all is well

the scary disembodied voice turned out to be a lady with wings, a tail, and horns, who looked vaguely fiendish, and we all kind just went “hot” and referred to her solely as “hot lady”

the bard almost seduced her. almost.

during the fight florian was a BADASS with all kinds of fire spells

dm: florian goes up to you and touches your shoulder and says “flame on” me: i ask him if he’s a flaming bisexual dm: he gives you a wink

i, the paladin with a chronic inability to hit anything, ever, got a NAT 20 to hit

dm: i’m giving you a free divine smite for that

dm: roleb, you can’t see this, but the rest of you see their sword light up with a soft green light as they hit the hot lady, and she screams me, in character, after I hit her: yah. i’m a paladin.

after the bard sang a CUSTOM BARDIC INSPIRATION SONG FOR CARTER i took the opportunity to hand the lady (who had at some point ceased to be hot and was now just an old woman screaming at us) a poster about loki

dm: she’s going to take a swipe at you with her nasty claws me: wha- oh right, her turn is right after dorami’s. dm: you take 4 points slashing and 6 points of acid damage me: what the FUCK me, in character, to the lady: i guess you’re not a fan.

after the battle:

florian: so simon sent you to save me the other members of the party: yah me: nope, loki sent me. me, handing florian a poster about loki: you’ve been saved by the paladin of loki! congratulations! i’m not asking you to convert or anything, but a little gold thrown their way wouldn’t hurt

im basically just like “unless theres loot anywhere around here, i want to get the fuck out” bc im scared as fuck and cant contact my deity, who literally never stops giving me unprompted advice

we find a chest, and when i open it, i, bad dex mcgee, had to make a dex save. i failed, and took a dart to the shoulder. i kept the dart.

we all also rolled ridiculously high perception checks, so:

dm: you pull out the linens, and the three of you look at it, and you all at once kind of go “false bottom”

we find 420 gold

florian: i think i was useful in that fight, and i deserve a share of the gold carter, not having that bullshit:  if you want me to help, i get my fair share, which does not include paying the damsel in distress

we also find a fancy dagger (i took it) a fancy ring (the bard took it) and the fucking rock (which the artificer took)

i need to explain something about this rock.

this is the rock that when we tried to roll arcana for it, with a NAT 20, we couldn’t understand it, and it just felt old. this is the rock that we found in the domain of a woman proclaiming shit about a rotting god taking my fucking soul. this is a rock we found in a place i could not reach my deity.

tHIS IS THE ROCK THAT WHEN CARTER TRIED TO SKIP IT, SHE HAD TO ROLL A WISDOM SAVING THROW, AND THE ROCK TOLD HER NOT TO THROW IT AWAY.

I HATE THIS FUCKING ROCK

me, literally at half health, running around after the battle: does anyone need healing :)

i use my lay on hands points to heal 2 points of damage to florian, 3 points for dorami, ANOTHER POINT FOR FLORIAN AFTER CARTER SLAPS HIM, and five points healing a disease florian had, that the dm later revealed he DIDNT ACTUALLY HAVE

meanwhile i’m basically bleeding out going :) this is fine :)

me: i run out dm: where to? me: the exit

me: as i go to the path i’m just going “loki? loki? loki?” dm: as soon as you get to the path, you hear in your ear, loki going “rose? caleb? ROLEB?”

loki: i couldn’t hear you, i couldn’t see you. i have been around for a very long time, and that was the most scared i’ve ever been me: yah but you’re the all powerful god, try being the squishy mortal

loki: you should heal yourself, you should- me: what what no no i’m fine, listen have you heard of the rotting god? loki: you know i hear your friends telling you to take care of yourself, and i agree, you should me: i’m fine but i feel like you’re dodging the question. do you know anything about the rotting god, because that scared me loki: you know whats even scarier? i don’t know anything about that.

artificer, ooc: are you talking to loki out loud? me, ooc: yes. bard, ooc: dorami is just like “is this normal paladin behavior??” loki: you should probably go, you’re freaking out your friends me: no i’m not! bard: uh, yes, sweetie, you kinda are 

we are officially booking it back to town, and the bard and florian are hanging in the back flirting grossly the entire time

me, yelling back: IF YOU TWO WANT TO HAVE AN EVENING ROMP IN THE WOODS, BE MY GUEST, BUT WE’RE TRYING TO GET BACK TO TOWN bard, yelling back: I CAN DO BOTH

we also had to roll perception checks on the way back to town, and i got the highest, and i was the only one who saw a fucking shadow in the forest beside us

like i cannot stress this enough i think we accidentally stole an unholy relic from a rotting god and its the GODDAMN ROCK

we all start playing with matches on the way back, because i’m a pyromaniac, florian is a fire magician, and the bard has pyrotechnics

fireworks were made

dm: you get back to town and you realize it’s been overrun by mandated soldiers the party, currently consisted of an ex-soldier who deserted, a professional liar, the ex criminal we just rescued, an actual criminal, and a sixteen year old with a sword: oh shit

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

alright so we’re back with chapter three - the Great Witch

-

i wonder how much of their memories Nick and Maya have actually recuperated 

the whole thing seems a little dodgy...

-

“This bench looks like a torture tool– shall we try it out on you, Nick?”

why is Maya so bloodthirsty in the game?? i mean she’s mischievous, but...

-

ahhh their widdle walking sprites are so cuuuute!

-

hang on– is that a picture-picture of Barnham with his dog?? if so, that should raise a lot of questions...

also why is the only person who *doesnt* comment on the painting Phoenix? he’s the art major.

-

you know, ive seen plenty of Phoenix X Barnham, and Darklaw X Barnham, but I’ve never seen any Phoenix X Darklaw 

i wonder why...

maybe Ive just never come across it

-

“Mr Wright, are you alright?”

(no response)

he's dead guys the fucking dog killed phoenix wright 

-

luke: I can talk to animals maya: haha omg cool! phoenix, laying in a pool of his own blood: hurgle

-

wait did maya just call Barnham adorable by proxy 

-

things layton likes: puzzles, stone lanterns 

-

oh fuck i forgot about the puzzles

also what the FUCK muffet

-

Patty: I believe in your Phoenix

Phoenix, trying not to cry: cool cool cool

-

aww. its nice to have a moment to just talk about feelings, especially between the sidekicks. 

...

...dont go into the forest you little fuckers

-

maya likes helms..??

-

“I used to come here with Nick. He’d carry the water pots, and I’d cheer him on!”

that reminds me, theres no plumbing. in fact, since its the middle ages, theres not even any outhouses. maya and phoenix have canonically shit in the streets

-

DOGS AND CATS, LIVING TOGETHER–

-

its 12:30 on a school night and I've spent over an hour trying to help a dog deliver mail 

oh maya solved that one! thats the first AA solve of the game. ...er, to me.

-

i dont understand how piccarats work

like, the previous puzzle was 30 piccarats and it was ridiculously easy. this one’ twenty and ive already lost ten points

maybe its to do with how my brain works– the 30 one was a pattern/colour puzzle, and I'm an artist. this one’s about directions, and I'm ASS at directions.

-

darklaw what are you WEARING

you look like a skimpy medieval furry

seriously what is with the metal skirt on bare thighs 

is that supposed to be comfy 

-

man these backgrounds are so beautiful 

-

why did she specifically tell Maya to be wary of witches

-

“You certainly both love your food. Personally, I’d just like a little more sleep...”

amen bro

-

oh fuck

Drosselmeyer wants to see Layton. dont let him brainwash ya!

-

“So this is the deathknell dungeon? Looks more like solitary confinement to me.”

considering the fact that she can see out the door, i doubt its solitary nick. solitary is a sealed box from hell.

-

Maya: you were just scared that nick would fuck up like always!! because he's an enormous fuck up haha!! Espella: i... no, i think he's really great

Phoenix: ...hey can i change assistants please

-

OH HO

CLIFF HANGER 

-

one does not simply

visit the storyteller

-

“come to think of it, during that parade, the storyteller did seem to be held in high esteem by all the townsfolk...”

guys have you not realized that youre literally meeting god yet???

ah see Layton’s got it

c’mon luke keep up

-

pfft they think Layton’s a hatter 

just wearing a tophat does not a hatter make 

-

ah the knights garrison

this is where Chucky stopped playing on his second third-space save 

I wonder why...

-

“And so the travellers finally arrived...”

yeah well first of all??? if you wanted me to get in there faster maybe dont make your door a fucking puzzle maybe 

fuck you old man you aint shit 

(btw i managed to solve it accidentally in the recommended 4 turns by pressing 3 random buttons and then realizing id somehow succeeded)

-

Storyteller: [farts suspiciously]

-

Storyteller: you guys are bad because you stopped me killing children

Layton: 

-

“OOPS”

DUFLUS SHFLS 

LUKE ITS OK 

I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO BE MAD

-

Espella: it’s true... that the towns folk look at me in a different way

well for one thing youre a different art style than most of them without being anything usually associated with said art style 

-

oh ok that i was not expecting 

she’s,,, jesus???

-

Maya spitting truths here 

-

wait hang on a second 

first of all– “the great witch is just a character of myth” yeah well EVERYONE is a character, Espella

also, she says she came to live with Patty 5 years ago... which is also what Phoenix and Maya said

when their memories all got altered to include phoenix and maya, does that mean they like, had a whole growing-up-together for five years roster of memories?

13 y/o Espella and Maya meeting, bonding over stuff, wondering why only Maya had to make bread and Espella didnt 

Phoenix–– hell, in the time frame, he’d be ‘Pheenie’ being their older brother. Acting like his 25 y/o self, or harkening back to those days and acting accordingly??

and how shitty it must’ve been when they realized none of it ever happened.

-

“Were these things... My memories?”

well probably not considering im pretty sure that tiny kid being flown over was you

-

i feel bad for nick’s... wherever is getting bitten, but this does lend credence to my headcanon that animals hate phoenix so 

also the inquisitor office theme needs to chill the fuck out

-

“Exactly what are you doing over there on all fours”

dont do that 

“He just sits back and lets his dog bite people, err... I mean, me”

he’s lucky nobody flips the fuck out and bites back. i suppose nobody would dare if they knew it was his dog, but still. not very responsible.

-

“Dr. Delduke” eh

well now

-

“He was no witch.” “Why?”

“HE was a man.”

( Welp, can’t argue with that. )

hey!!! equality to witches!! boys can be witches too!!

-

“Maya... can you get this mutt away from me? I can’t feel my leg.”

“Aww... So soon? I was hoping he’d use you as a blue chew toy just one more time.”

ok, seriously, what is UP with Maya? I can’t remember her ever being this violent in the original series. Like, she hit Nick over the head with the shichishito that one time, but she wasn’t constantly wishing harm on him??

-

as much as i appreciate seeing a tiny maya model i fucking hate the cloud puzzle fuck you for doubling up on it

-

oh i lucked into the answer awesome

this seems to be a running theme...

-

every time someone looks at the bell tower, they always comment on the bell never being heard. it must be foreshadowing.

-

wow Jean is very short

...also I'm calling it now, HE DID IT

-

hmm Greyerl’s voice actress is a little more noticeable than Luke’s...

also OH OK. the fucking bell tower just MANIFESTED OUT OF PURE FLAMES

THATS COOL

-

“He reacted in a moster peculiar way. Unlike others who saw it, he seemed unsettled, as if he was truly afraid of something” 

oh i dunno, maybe the DEMON BELL TOWER???

-

Maya: only YOU can fuck up that badly, nick!

ok... genuinely, utterly, seriously, why is Maya so malicious in this game? She does tease Nick a lot throughout the series, but its usually in a more playful or goofy manner. A lot of the things she says in this game seem sort of unnecessary or weirdly hurtful... especially since phoenix hasn’t done much to warrant any of them.

-

hmm

well, I know what happens to Maya

but what the hell is he doing to Nick?

also I do hope there’s a reeeeeaaaaally good reason for all this...

-

layton flings out his arm to shut luke up skdgkafajkf

-

wait why did the owl bring them that

-

“Luke, my boy... We have the need... to rent a steed.”

LAYTON

oh and they fucking did

-

“You think that’s bad? You should see Nick try and do the laundry– Now that’s a major blunder!”

see that seems a little more in character somehow

especially since its something that seems like he would fail at.

still, weirdly insult heavy...

-

hey hey 

100 coins

-

“in an alchemy sense”

shouldn’t that be an ‘alchemical’ sense?

-

“I guess you’re more suited to small, dark, damp places.”

is that a reference to the mushroom thing??

-

phoenix, in someone else’s abandoned basement: oh no their house plants are dying :( ill water them 

this man??? is pure??

-

“Well well well. If it isn't a well.”

NICK

-

“Come to think of it... I haven’t noticed any plumbing here in Laborynthia.”

HA 

I WAS RIGHT

THEY SHIT IN THE STREETS

-

“As things stand, Mr. Wright is in serious danger!”

uh the story said Maya would die, not Phoenix. It said he’d be cursed, but Maya would be tried and burnt. You should probably be more worried about her...

-

great witch: sup guys I'm gonna fuck shit up

game: the following is too horrifying to look directly at; here, have some shenanigans with Luke and that other bard Bardly was complaining about.

-

“Birdly”

fuck you perhaps

-

NO

WHY IS EMEER THERE

NOO

-

also hi Layton you’re looking a bit uh 

a bit 

...well this hardly makes any sense

doesn’t Layton appear not long after this? also, it’s easy enough to prove Maya’s not a witch; just hand her the staff and ask her to politely turn Layton back. 

that or just cry on him real quick; worked for Ash

-

bweuuuhhh dont cry luke pls

luuuuke

its ok luke magic isn’t real luke

...though from what I’ve heard of your universe, someone could have used Science to turn him into gold and that could be totally real so

just 

c’mon in for a hug lil guy

also see yuh all next time for part... four? i think?

[hdawg1995]

DnD Antics: the bard and necromancer kill the party... with laughter

so earlier in the week me and ryan (spine) were goofing around and it was decided that we would secretly bring it into the game. mehehehe~

oh and the universe is gonna be destroyed next session.

so to start us off we did some last minute activities which included nazul (ghost boy) making a petition to turn the small gnome town we left into the greatest steam punk city this side of the world. a few nat 20s and a 50 or two later the whole town has left...

ryan (spine): i go to the blacksmith. DM: you find a gnome, crying in his work shop. Spine: what you got for sale? gnome: nothing! that gnome in the town over with her mech shop has ruined me!  Spine: meh. you know i was the one who helped her make that shop. gnome: you? YOU? I HATE YOU! *turns invisible. steals Spine’s money* Spine:....i was gonna offer to upgrade your shop but what ever. Zack: *enters* hey how much are these shiri- Gnome: *still invisible. steals Zack’s money.* Zack:....*takes sitrikin*

mean while the witcher is training with master splinter and the turtles. they stole some of his mutigen so there half ling sized and doing a pretty good job at beating his butt. when his training is over all but 2 of the party members wants to train as well!

linsy: you’re not gonna join us? ryan (spine): im still grounded. i can’t leave my room.

so the necromancer scrys his water bed (its water. like. hes a lizardman... his room is a mini swamp... he called it his wide screen tv) to watch as the party goes up against the turtles.

meanwhile envoy is praying to the blue flying moose so she knows she still connect to them because eff the ring master and his stupid face gonna stab him in the throat

everything is going well until nazul spring boards off of Zack and sends him into a spike wall killing him.

envoy over the PA system in the do jo: YOU’RE GROUNDED NAZUL! nazul:...how do you know whats happening???

mean while me and Ryan begin our plan. the others have concerns and so far the DM has face palmed at a note he received in order to keep the srprise a surprise.

tim: what are you two doing? me: shhh things ryan (spine): its nothing harmful. tim: now im scared. me: this is just envoy and spine goofing off cause there best friends.

later~ ryan (spine): and rose WILL participate. command familiar! she can’t fight it. she is grounded. ryan (frost): like you? group: *snikering* ryan (spine): shut up shafeek you’re grounded too! i get my door back tomorrow.

as the training continues its really neck and neck. suddenly!

coolie: i want to bull rush the wall DM: okay linsy: no no no, rephrase that. you want to through the wall. coolie: yeah. linsy: through the hole leo made. coolie: no :)

elizander bull rushes the wall (much to the enjoyment of the yak) and smacks everyone with debris. 

the turtles have powers based off of the TMNT board game (DM’s wife is like the biggest turtles fan i have ever met. im not surprised she has a pathfinder esk TMNT game) and at this point miky is hypnotising the party (that isnt dead aka Zack). how ever, Vale is a kitty and she likes shiny things. she wants miky’s nunckuks... and knocks him out for them which makes raph go into ‘raph rage’ and he kills her in the first hit but keeps going.

soon im having a hard time keeping my excitement in as frost crystal is the last one standing (everyone is either dead or has fallen into the void). by now ryan (frost) and linsy are beyond curious and coolie has just brushed it off as antics but then me and ryan (spine) stand up-

*the lights go out. a spot like and music starts up. Envoy and Spine are at the finish line* Spine, dressed as jessie: PREPARE FOR TROUBLE! Envoy, dresses as james: AND MAKE IT DOUBLE! Spine: TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVASTATION! Envoy: TO UNITE ALL PEOPLES WITHIN OUR NATION! spine: TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF TRUTH AND LOVE! envoy: TO EXTEND OUR REACH TO THE STARS ABOVE! Spibe: SPINE! envoy: ENVOY! Spine: TEAM ROCKET! BLASTS OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT! envoy: SURRENDER NOW, OR PREPARE TO FIGHT! rose: rose! thats right!

the party is dead. both in real like and in game. the bard, necromancer, and his familiar do perform checks and the DM has thrown his hands up in the air laughing. Envoy and Spine, together, can now do the team rocket motto as a performance spell. all attention (and aggro) will be directed at them. #WorthIt.

and then we make pizza for the turtles :D

after we rest to get spells back, we learn about genis and how apparently they...dont... have... weaknesses....im still gonna stab the ring master in the thro-

so we all get together and go to the earth sanctum thing and being the jerk he is the ring master shows up and is like “thanks for opening the door for me. bye!”

once in side him and the bard have a dance off. the bard wins... but nothing happens. went like this. envoy: DANCE OFF! ringmaster: PANTS OFF DANCE OFF! me: can i counter song that? DM: you can’t counter song a counter song. me:....i didn’t play a song??? he has counter song???

bear: ursoc want dance! ringmaster: sure thing buddy! *dances with bear* bear: *tries to bear hug and crush the ringmaster* ringmaster: *poofs away* nu-uh-uh! that wasnt nice mister bear. bear: ursoc want dance! ringmaster: i’ll send you to a place where you can dance all you want!

ring master makes the bear and eventually the raven disappear and he is currently distracting our ranger with a LITERAL STAR!

ringmaster: *holds up cards* hello witcher. i heard you like to play games~ elizander: *picks a card but touches the ring master’s hand* coolie: i use devour magic. DM: :) okay. ringmaster: nu-uh-uh~ *drains elizander’s health.* me: COUNTER SONG! DM: there isn’t a song. me: oh but me shouting DANCE OFF is a song??? coolie: *draws a card from the DM’s tarrot cards*..... ryan (spine): please tell me thats not what i think it is. ryan (frost): is it DEATH? coolie:....”the fool”.... me: you were a fool for trying to EAT THE RING MASTER! elizander loses all his wisdom and intelligence. has to be songed away from a ledge so he DOESNT DIE me: its the hag encounter all over again...

DM: Spine, you realize you can’t connect with yethan. spine: SHIT envoy: *checks to make sure shes connected with the moose* ringmaster: *appears riding the blue flying moose.* envoy: YOU SON OF A HAG! GET OFF MY FRIEND! *nat 20* ringmaster: *spurs the the moose, making it stop* thats a nice mount you have there. envoy: The Blue Flying Moose Is Not A Mount You Can Just Ride Around Like Some Rodeo Pony, They Are My FRIEND!

mean while the cat person is having a philosopurrr moment with the ring master. TBH his plan... is very selfish and doesnt make much sense and the cat is calling him out on it.

we eventually get down into a maze full of beholders. this is where we left off.

im gonna kill him he spurred the moose who the eff does that this lilly livered yellow belly son of a hag thats who gonna smack him with battle cry i swear

unfortunately the ring master currently has a head start now, disabling Zack’s wings, cutting Spine off from his summons, and temperately separating our ranger from her animals. next time we meet the fate of the universe will be decided and honestly i have NO idea how im going to help. Envoy is very upset and will not be negotiating anything any time soon.

[diableriepervert]

all inquisitor asks >:3

OH FUCK YOU

romeo's specialization is that of the assasin because i personally thought it sounded cool

romeo decorated skyhold with draconic themes because he wanted to fought hard killing those dragons and mught as well get some use out of them

he doesn't like being called the herald at all but as an inside joke when he has to go under cover he will introduce himself as "harold but all my friends call me harry" none one ever laughs

hates the chantry, thinks the whole "maker abandoned everyone" thing is stupid, he thinks andraste was a cool mage whos story got highly exaggerated not unlike his own

he doesnt have a favorite follower because he doesn't acknowledge that part and trys to remove himself from the pedestal he's on, his favorite adviser is Josephine, he does have a younger brother dynamic with cullen though

romeo couldn't help falling in love with dorian, Dorian is the first person who's ever flirted with romeo, first everything really, romeo also unfortunately has 'i can change him' syndrome

he immediately told dorian about the letter, he couldnt have lied to him even if he wanted to, to lovesick. he didn't get dorian to forgive his father, he was to worried to think about what dorian might want in the future and in the moment just simply asked if he wanted to leave and go back to skyhold

at first romeo didnt know what to think of sera, but after spending some time with her they had fun spreading some harmless chaos and pranks together, romeo always wanted a sister and he found one in sera

romeo could never sacrifice the chargers, even if not for bulls sake but selfishly his own, he's grown very close to krem dalish and skinner in particular

he 100% supports leliana as devine, he loves the idea of the mage college and wouldnt want it any other way

romeo gave vivianne the wyvern heart

he didn't drink from the well of sorrows, one reason being that he didnt want to disappoint solas and the other being that he's made dorian almost watch him die far to many times

romeo never had a proper father figure, just Nin, who can best be described as 'its hard being a single mother when youre a 12 year old teenage boy with no kids' mixed with the over protection of someone whos lost everything, so when solas was vaguely a teacher figure towards him romeo was like "ah yes this is my dad" and just wanted solas to be proud of him

while his favorite adviser is Josephine his most trusted adviser is Leliana

the companions he feels most comfortable around are cole, dorian and bull

romeo was furious at the corruption of the wardens, he loved the hero of fereldens story as a teen, so for this to be their legacy he was severely disappointed and wanted better for him, for all that he sacrificed

romeo follows the strict belief that the only good templar is an ex templar whi realized being a templar is stupid

he's not very good at it, but he loves playing wicked grace, it let's him have a moment to simply live in the presence of those he loves

he of course allowed cole to stay, he felt good knowing that there would always be someone for anyone who needed it, no matter how small. He encouraged cole to be forgiving and stay a spirit

romeo didnt trust morrigan but he liked her, that is until he tried to lecture him, an dalish elf, on dalish history, go against the sentinals wishes and disrespected abelas

he hates the circles, while he does understand that magic can't be roaming wild he cant stand the idea of how mages are treated in circles

biggest regret? hes got a few, his first is when dorian told him he was going back to tevinter he was to scared of holding dorian back and making hin feel trapped that he let him leave without putting up any fight, like he didnt care. the next being that he never let those around him know how much he cared for them, he feels as though him being the inquisitor and not letting anyone ever know how much he was always hurting and scared is the reason everyone left in the end, that he wasn't a person but an idea to them, and not being able to save his clan, that he couldnt save his family and once again made Nin lose a clan

his greatest triumph is dorian, being in love with him, being loved by him, and watching him change for the better

romeo was mostly confused about blackwalls true story, while a little hurt he mainly just wondered how blackwall was never found out before this despite it being so obvious, maybe he's just to trusting but he forgave him and sentenced him to stay in the inquisition

romeo has to much faith in people, its nearly impossible to lose his trust, unless you are morrigan of course but thats just common sense

he supports cassandra rebuilding the seekers simply because he trusts her

romeo disbands the inquisition, he knows that the only way to continue to try and save the man he calls his friend is to not be spied on by said friend

he forced all three of those idiots at halamshiral to work together and rule, they were acting like children so the solution is to treat them as such

of course he let solas kill those mages. Mage rights except for those guys in particular, fuck them

I made the choice between alistair and hawke to leave hawke behind BUT in my canon romeo would never be able to chose who should die or live and my hawke would never let there be an option for anyone but him to stay behind, so in my canon im pretending stroud was there instead to be sacrificed, he knocks out hawke and makes the romeo carry him out. Rip stroud ypur a real homie for that

romeo never really believed he was the herald or that andraste was anything other than a strong mage so he wasn't to surprised that it wasn't andraste herself that saved him

romeo doesn't really cope well at all being inquisitor, he overworks himself and bottles anything troublesome until cole outs him, not even that coles reading him he just is the only one romeo confides in because he knows cole would be upset otherwise

he doesn't really care for bianca, loves the crossbow, thinks varric deserves much better than the woman

he let josephine solve her family problem her own way but let leliana help, he trusts she shes knows what shes doing

cullen did NOT start taking lyrium again, romeo is so proud of how far cullen has come away from the templars and would never let him fall back into that trap

emerald knight loot goes to the dalish, he knows its what his clan would have done

romeo hates tevinter, one for all the negative aspects of it ie slavery, blood magic, homophobia, transphobia, ect..., but also for taking dorian from him.

his favorite bard song is the one about sera

romeo is proud to be an elvhen inquisitor, not being because hes dalish dalish but simply as an elf, he won't let anyone take that from him

he got along well with the champion, he and hawke became friends quickly, they spend a lot of time together after the exalted council

romeo looks up to saint (mahariel), as someone who is also dalish and suddlenly being forced to save the world he thinks its comforting that saint got to be happy and find love at the end of his story

call it an elf thing but hes very proud of all he's accomplished

[hdawg1995]

DnD Antics: the tree spirit dies at midnight...

so today was fun! quick summary (not everything but like the major/funny bits)

the necromancer got drunk, Ranger’s animals arn’t happy, and the one time the bard doesnt do an arcane knowledge check...and other things happen!

so yeah! hydra had a mate...with 30 heads...  DM: you see shiny things at the bottom of the deeper part of the lake. shafeek: imma go down there Ryan (spine): im going with him! ryan (frost): same envoy: DON’T DIE! frost: NO PROMISES!

they find the remains of one of the DM’s former games; “they were a joke campaign but kinda not. they once made a bucket and enchanted it to summon fried chicken. they gave it to a king in order to gain his favor.” the party consisted of bacon bits the wizard (blue star cloak+hat and staff) a nameless knight (plate mail, 2 bags of holding, long sword) a bard named bard marly (black turtle neck, a beret, bongos and 2 daggers) a rouge who juts so happened to be named mcgiee (fishface family cloak-PURELY because of the concordance- 2 daggers) and a witcher (2 legendary swords). 

being the bard i got all the old bard’s stuff... which was cursed...

DM: you have to speak in a french accent me: i can’t DO a french accent D: imma just do remove curse. DM: do what? me: remove cu- oh fight me... linsy: sure you can! just add a Z to everything! me: *makes at least 10 attempts. resorts to just head nods.*

we get everyone out before the hydra’s mate wakes up. meanwhile the bear is very upset about being dropped like a potato nuke on the hydra, the griffion is scared of the bear, and the poor spider is so scared shes hugging onto Vale for dear life. she goes full blown face hugger at one point the poor thing is so scared.

me: *attempts a french accent again*....zhe at is curewsed. DM: *losing it* ryans: *knee slapping laughing*

we get the rod and take the path out of the maze. also Spine found some lake moss which was near the hydra nest which Nazul ALMOST STOLE AN EGG FROM (you guys don’t know this, but during our first inconuter kinda spine and the samurai went missing due to spelunking in a cave full of spider eggs. spine and nazul basically recreated a under water version of these events).

rolls a nat 1 while trying to make it a lazy boy chair. sets my house on fire.

envoy: YOU ARUE ZHE GROUHNDAD, ZPINE! spine: but- envoy: FIX YAT! spine: how- envoy: YOUR ZOOR? ZE GONE! 

it gets fixed and spine helps but he is still grounded. his door is just s sticker in the house to let people know where his room is but yeah. no door.

envoy: *uses remove curse* hat: hon hon hon you fool! zhere is but won way to remove me! me: ZEIPLOMACY! hat: to remove ze naughty beret, you must hit ze two headed monkey ze proper way. me: two headed monkey? linsy: do we have to punch Tim in the nuts?

envoy gets a nat 20 on playing the bongos and the hat falls off. arcane check shows that who ever wears the hat can cast a 6 level bard spell (even if they arn’t a bard).

envoy has a snow ball fight with gnome children. it is glorious. they built a fort. the yak made a snowball bigger than the gnome houses. anyone that dared to talk with the bard (or in spine’s case just happen to be in rage) was pelted with snowballs.

vale: envo- *snowball misses her*... Envoy can you do a arcane check for me? envoy: sure! *checks* your hydra bone arrows, when you fire them, turn into TWO arrows. vale: thanks! *throws a snowball at envoy. leaves* envoy: *THUMBS UP!*

spine uses word of recall after frost crystal used it to go find a new pet with the ranger. he goes back to see our friends sperlock hobbles and plotson! he also gets drunk... i repeat- the necromancer got drunk.

spine: PLOTSSSON! howsss the town doing ssshow me around! *note: ryan is swinging his arms around* DM: he takes you out of the office and shows you the town. Spine: wait i... i forgot my clock. *hugs cloak* need my clock. DM: you put your cloak on and he shows you the town. roll reflex. ryan (spine): *fails* DM: your coin purse is stolen. Spine: PLOTSSON! THERE THEY! *falls over* ryan (spine): i scry my hand to see where my gold is. Spine: *holding the bottle of liqure and using it to see his gold in the reflexion* where is dissss?

they eventually find who stole it. the halfling child who survived the accidental slaughter of her faimly at the hands of Spine and the witcher. Spine sees her and casts a grabby demon hand spell.

Spine: don-t... sorry she is alive jussst captured *toung thing snakes do* splotson: and how do you know that? spine:...MAGIC EYES! *hes not lying* splotson: go home Spine you’re drunk Spine: but my gold. splotson: go home you’re drunk Spine: but my gold. splotson: Spine. spine: i wanna talk to her. splotson: i don’t think i want you to talk to her. Spine: but i wanna. someone steal’s Spine’s backpack and Splotston runs after them. Spine get to where the halfling is and it turns out it was a dummy, but there is a decoder device. rolls a nat 1.

DM: you speak into it. “hello?” “hello.” “who is this?” “who is this?” “Spine” “who is spine?” “who IS Spine?” roll to be interstitial. Ryan (spine): *fails* DM: you are now having a existential crisis.

mean while more snowball fights. Envoy has in listened the children into pelting the witcher. also she plays a song that makes it rain snowballs.

Frost crystal and Vale go on a hunt with a giant wolf pack! (well the wolves are giant, the pack is just the mommy and 3 pups) they track a dire moose but it was killed by a frost giant which SUCKED cause now they have to fight the giant and they break it’s legs and cut its hand off and it flails and kills the mamma :( vale is saved by The Hunt and it’s divine intervention, one of the pups saved Frost crystal and is now her new pet.

elizander: Envoy, could you make a planter for me in the pokeball? Envoy, atop the yak:.....BEAT ME IN A SNOWBALL FIGHT AND WE’LL THINK ABOUT IT! elizander: *pelts envoy with snowballs, knocking her off the yak* HA! envoy: *nat 20 on a snowball. hits eli in the face and knocks him down* Nazul: *shadow teleports and buries Eli in snow. DM: you start to feel the affects of the snowballs. its very very cold.

Zack’s wife informs him that she is pregnant. he also admits that he touched the hag’s butt so shes not happy.

envoy: *throws snowball at zack* Zack: *catches it. throws it on the ground* envoy: you suck at fun, your kid is gonna be so bored.

vale and frost are off on their own adventure, so is tim and his wife. Spine was told to go home cause he was drunk so he went home.... to the swamp... so Envoy, Nazul, and Elizander go on an adventure!

Nazul: we should play a game. i spy with my little eye- envoy: *throws snowball at elizander* elizander: *throws snowball at envoy who ducks and it hits Nazul.* Nazul: *nat 20 on a tackle and pelts eli with snow* yak: *buries them both in snow. starts rolling giant snowball with Witcher and ghost boy inside*

envoy learned a song that summons snowballs from the sky

also the witcher and Zack met a very gay and very flamboyant saitr. he had kidnapped them and taken them to the fay wild. i left the table at this bit so i don’t know how they got away. all i know is the satir really really really liked the witcher.

frost got a wolf, spine was teleported back via death.

Spine: *summons litch* hey do you have anything that can get me from here to the gnome city? litch (tiffiny): yeah but you’re not gonna like it. Spine: why? *dies* spine: *clawing his way out of a shallow grave in the gnome city* NOPE. I DID NOT LIKE THAT.

envoy: *flying through the sky on a yak* Spine: *flys up* HI MINION! envoy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

nazul: *enters center of market* ANYONE KNOW WHERE THE BLACK MARKET IS? random gnome: what the FUCK are you doing? shut up! gnome police: *shows up* who was yelling about the black market? nazul: him *points to gnome* gnome: *is dragged away kicking and screaming* DM: the only person who could have showed you where the black market is is now being dragged to prison.... shafeek: breaking out of jail is easssssy!

they bust the gnome out and he tells him how to get there. Nazul then kills him.

spine... is hella shady. he gets into the black market and gets a tree spirit and a black sapphire. its midnight as he flies back to the grave yard to murder the tree spirit and imprisions the soul into the gem. he then drops the gem+tree spirit = death seed into his necropolisp. he now has stronger zombies and the ones that needed to regenerate due to the nuke will regen 4X faster.

at this point i had to go home, so there was probably 1-2 hours more of antics

see you next week!