#but as with tea and baths and beer it is very wearing to feel like i am somehow interacting with fandom Wrong by NOT wanting that?

[mangled-by-disuse]

so one of the things that annoys me endlessly is this phenomenon where, when I say I like something, people assume that means I want more of it, a different version of it, add-ons and bells and whistles, and i'm just like

no.

no, when I say I like tea, I mean I like tea. Not herbal tisanes, not "tea with--", no milk, no sugar, no fruit, no frills, just good-quality tea in a range of fermentations and colours.

when I say I like a hot bath, I mean the bath. Not bubble-bath, not bath oils and foams and salves and unguents, not candlelight and music and a zen space to sensually relax with a book and a glass of wine, just a hot bath in a normally-lit bathroom where I can unwind and get clean.

when I say I like beer, I mean I like beer. Not fruit-flavoured, not with a special something-something added, for the love of GOD not sweetie-flavoured, just a well-brewed ale or stout in a simple pint glass, in good company.

and that isn't because there's anything WRONG with the add-ons! these are not bad things! I know that for some people, a tea advent calendar with different herbal blends, or a luxurious foamy scented bath with candles and music, is what they mean by "I like tea" and "I like baths". but it would just be nice if when I asked for a green tea, people didn't assume I mean "with..."

anyway this post is about lord of the rings: war of the rohirrim

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Blind Love Epilogue

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there.

nsfw, minors dni

A season had passed since I decided to continue being Roger’s exclusive Fairytale Keeper.

Kate: Lately, Roger’s been acting strange.

Victor: Roger’s always acting strange, so that's normal!

William: Yes, since he’s also Crown, he’s an eccentric who wears a mask of decency. Completely normal

While I told the two about my worries during a tea party, they just smiled gracefully as they sipped from their teacups.

When I raised my shoulders, William chuckled.

William: Heh, sorry. Victor and I are happy that we get to spend some time with you. 

Victor: Yes, since you’re always with Roger. This time we have is valuable, and we’re enjoying it.

Kate: Thank you, William, Victor. I’m enjoying my time with you two as well.

Victor: So…What do you mean by “strange”?

Kate: Roger’s always been very into his research, but recently, he’s been a little too into it…

~~ Flashback ~~

Kate: Roger, it’s almost midnight. Are you not heading to bed soon?

Roger: Hmm, nah. I’m fine, you go on ahead. Good night, Kate.

--

Kate: Roger, why not take a break since you’ve been working all day? How about some good beer…

Roger: I’m on a roll right now. Save me a beer.

~~ End flashback ~~

Kate: …Stuff like that.

Victor: It definitely is strange for him to refuse his favorite beer!

Kate: Right?!

After he and Victor exchanged glances and nodded at each other, William’s smile widened.

William: You’re feeling discontent that your lover’s paying more attention to his research than you, aren’t you? You’re so adorable.

Kate: That’s! That’s right… While I do want his attention, I’m more concerned about his health since he hasn’t taken a break…

Roger’s lifespan’s already been cut short because of his research.

That’s why I want him to live longer, even if it’s just for a second.

I want us to live together for as long as possible.

Victor: Kate’s right, he shouldn’t be reckless. However, sometimes working hard’s what makes you feel alive and brightens life up. From my perspective, Roger appears livelier than ever. Moreover…The reason why Roger’s been so into his research—I believe it’s to do with his relationship with you.

Kate: With me…?

Victor: I definitely don’t know for sure. That’s something you’ll have to ask Roger.

(...Victor and WIlliam are right)

Roger and I had gone through a lot before we became lovers, and we’re here now because we’d talk to each other every time.

Kate: Thank you, Victor, William. I’ll go ask Roger.

--

After Kate scampered out of the room like a dog, William narrowed his eyes.

William: You’re as good of a liar as ever. You know what Roger’s been “doing”.

Victor: I do. Despite being human, that man is likely trying to step into the domain of the gods.

William: You got them to stay together, expecting some sort of unpredictable reaction. Was this the outcome you expected?

Victor: It was more freeing and groundbreaking that I expected—I find it amusing.

William: …You really are evil.

--

(—I made up my mind to talk to Roger)

If I approached it the same way as usual, he’d turn me away again. 

Jude: Move, you’re in my way.

Kate: Ah, Jude. Good timing. I have a question.

Jude: Do ya have selective hearing for stuff that’s inconvenient?

Kate: How do you talk to someone about something when they’re always finding ways to avoid it?

Jude: *sigh* Gotta take their freedom and interrogate. Ya can also restrain ‘em, threaten ‘em, or use sleeping pills to cloud their judgment. 

Kate: I’d rather not do something extreme, but I’d probably get turned away again if I don’t. I think Alfons has some sleeping pills that are safe to use. Thanks Jude!

Jude: …O_O The hell is she doin’ that to.

--

Alfons shared some sleeping pills.

That night, I dropped them into water and gave it to Roger after his bath.

—But when he drank the water, he frowned…

Roger: This water tastes funny…It tastes like…sleeping pills.

Kate: What?!

Roger: Yep. I know what most drugs smell and taste like. Should’ve put them in something with a stronger taste if you wanted to trick me.

Kate: Then why did you drink it all…?

Roger: Thought it’d be fun to play along.

Roger smirked and looked at me leisurely.

Roger: Suppose I got about 30 minutes before I conk out. Better tell me what you’re up to now.

(...Since he’s already seen through me, I’ll have to tell him everything)

I first told him about how I tried to trap him so that we could talk properly.

Kate: I’m really sorry for trying something as stupid as that sneak attack…!

Roger: …Pfft, heh…

Kate: …Roger?

Roger: Nothing. Just didn’t expect you to use sleeping pills. You’re turning more into my type.

The way he happily ruffled my hair made any feelings of regret disappear.

(Roger really is a strange person…I also love that about him)

Roger: So, were you thinking I was doing some other research on top of my curse research?

Kate: Yes. What exactly is making you work so hard?

Roger: The ends of chromosomes have this structure. I believe they play an important part in chromosome integrity. The shortening of those structures might a cause of aging—

Kate: Um, Roger!

Roger: Hm?

Kate: …Can you simplify that for me?

Roger gave a knowing smirk and spoke again.

Roger: Research on extending lifespans.

(——Huh)

That’s not what I had expected and my thoughts came to a halt. However,

Kate: Extending lifespans. That…

Roger: I’m aware that what I’m researching is unethical. I’m not trying to be a god. It’s evil to speculate on and take human life under the guise of God. Humans can’t become gods. And I got no intention of creating a monster like immortality. But I can still get as close to being a god as possible and use that power properly and effectively. In short, I wanna fight back so that I can live for even just a second longer.

Kate: …Roger.

Roger: If you disagree with it, then—

Kate: I don’t. If I’m not mistaken…is it possible you’re doing this research… To live with me for even a second longer? 

Roger just smiled.

That smile alone was enough to explain everything.

Roger: I’ve already given you everything I have.

The deed to his land, property and assets, a lab coat…Roger had left me a lot of things.

Roger: But that’s no reason to give up on wanting to live a little longer. Never imagined I’d try to do something as stupid as getting close to being a god. It’s all because I fell for you, Kate.

Kate: …

What Roger was trying to do was self-centered and probably disgraceful.

But even if everyone criticized him, I’d rejoice in it.

I really am starting to become like Roger.

Kate: …You really are absurd. But…thank you, I love you.

Roger: I know. Ah…Damn it…I’m gonna pass out.

Roger removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

Roger: Haven’t slept much lately so this drug’s working fast.

His large frame flopped onto the bed like a puppet with its strings cut.

While holding me in his arms.

Kate: Roger?

Roger: …Gonna make love to you…the moment I wake up. So…stay with me…’til... I...wake…up…

After saying that, his breathing started to even out.

Kate: …If you say stuff like that…then I can’t let you go.

Lying in Roger’s arms, I listened to his heartbeat.

The thumping reminded me of  a small animal, and my chest tightened.

(...Even if it’s only for a second longer, I want to be with you forever) 

I ended up falling asleep in his arms and had a dream.

It was a dream about Roger and I living together forever.

We lived forever while fighting against despair—sometimes getting hurt, other times laughing together.

But I knew this was a dream, and that reality wouldn’t be as sweet or kind.

We haven’t found a way to get rid of curses or extend lifespans…

Such a future might not be possible.

But that doesn’t mean we have to give up.

Fighting against despair is what kept us alive.

--

A soft light shined on my eyes and I awoke from my slumber.

Kate: …Mnn…

Roger: …Ah, you’re finally awake. Morning, Kate. Well, I guess your body woke up first.

Kate: Huh? Ah…!

My nightgown was bunched up and Roger’s fingers were buried between my legs.

Even though I just woke up, I already felt so hot, achey, and wet…

Roger licked his fingers and then spread my legs—

Kate: Ahhh—

He lined himself up with my entrance before thrusting in.

Roger: Haaa…I got turned on but how cute you looked while sleeping…

He looked at me as he continued to thrust in and out.

Roger: So, what’d you dream about?

Kate: Nn, ahh… …It was…about your…dreams.

Roger: …O_O

He brought my hand to his chest.

(Ah…)

I could feel Roger’s heart beating a little faster than before.

Roger: I’m in good health. At this rate, I’m not gonna die even if I’m killed.

Kate: Hehe, then I’ll give you more things for your heart to beat for so that you’ll live longer.

Roger: …Since when did you get so good at provoking me?

Kate: Huh? Ahh…

I felt him grow harder and Roger laughed.

Roger: Then let’s do a lot of exciting stuff, Kate.

Kate: Roger, ahh…wait! Ahh! 

As I thoroughly received Roger’s warmth, I made a wish.

I wished that my days with him would last for even just a second longer.

I wished for a miraculous eternity.

Letter | Both End Clear Story

[skelekins]

<< >>

Have some copy pasta Gen Swapfell-Facet Lore from my notes app

Disclaimer: messy

Muffet - Snowdin tea and bakery owner. Close relationship with Skeles. Puts cayenne pepper in many versions foods - spicy sweets. Has a few (like 3) setup for spider checkers - a checkers game with an otcoganol board. Waffle-coffee house. Speciality is spider Waffles, Soft Boiled spider Eggs, and Spider coffee

Muffet is a very hairy spider/rancho with scales/hairs all over body like the fluff of a moth. Helps with insulation. Smaller spider monsters are primarily covered in fluff for extra insulation with only tips of legs visible. Spiders wear little uniforms - usually hats/ribbons/tassels

Diner is covered in trap magic - one of many reasons no one causes a lot of trouble - snowdin in general assumed to be covered

Unlike skelebros Muffet can completely hide her trap magic unless someone is looking for it. Or at the very least her anchors are extremely small/needs less.

Smaller spiders may also use trap magic -> mainly just related to their physical silk.

Silk is heavily used in wardrobe and general materials.

Muffet must be seated the majority of the time the diner is open due to outgrowing the building. She doesn’t need to move much to reach every corner of the diner.

Double doors allow Muffet to leave through front if needed but she prefers to use the basement exit that leads to an enlarged basement - big enough for her to move properly, with a separate door out the back of the diner.

Muffet does not often actually leave and the back door is usually locked tight and hidden behind trash and webs. Since she has space to move in her home below she doesn’t see a lot of reason to leave.

Enjoys cooking and making sweet confections with her kin. Finds Sans and Papyrus cute - seen Papyrus grow up. A little older than Sans.

Spider eggs served to help keep populations acceptable. Boiled in a dust bath -> turning the interior monster into a weird edible savory jelly-like creature that is excited to be eaten. They feel no pain and usually find weird entertainment from being eaten in pieces. Not offended if eaten head first.

Diner spiders may actually be at LV 2 -> spiders have their own leveling customs. Basement spiders LV 1 - part of why Muffet and Diner Spiders are partial to Paps and Sans

“Muffet’s”? Like Grillby’s?

Grillbys - bar and grill

muffets - cafe and diner

While being a diner doesn’t actually care how long anyone is there. Closes late opens early -> most of Muffets time is dedicated to business with closing hours uses for rest, self care, and baking for the next day.

Probably has early days and maybe takes a “Websday” off once a month or so. !!she would be big enough and strong enough to easily go to Hotland or the capital if she wanted fancier supplies. !! <- gives part of reason for being so dedicated to the diner. Maybe gets special stuff for her kin/herself. Also cares about residents of Snowdin in her own way.

Like the idea of some of the bigger spiders acting rough and having little spiked bats to emphasize her kind of hard-punk/street gang aesthetic

15' 3"

Alphys - captain of the guard, watches over Waterfall but mostly has attention elsewhere ruling by name alone. Has Stone generally look after it. Originally from Hotland, met Undyne while stationed in Waterfall. Ascends (playing with words dunno if like that) in genocide route. Maybe something Al or Alph <- not a lot of options even with Alf.

Absolute Alphys? Alphys Ascendant

Her gameplay is similiar to Undynes except instead of blocking the player has to shoot her attacks like a game of asteroids.

Undyne - Royal scientist spicy fish yandere-like/light. Drinks beer enjoys super violent manga. Mew Mew -> Bork Bork

Jewel has a rough relationship with Undyne. Initially they were friends but after Undyne met Alphys she started to gain more level. It once got away from her and Jewel had to shortcut away from her as she was undeterred by Sans protection due to her own relationship with Alphys. She moved to Hotland not long after; secretly regretting her actions and not trusting herself in Waterfall any longer.

Napstablook -> Retraton - RTT // Retraton Para -> translates into shared HP forcing use of consumables along with cursor that copy’s players movements // maybe Retrabot to play off being an automaton vs mettaton being robot // Retrabot Para

Retraton held in place/ can’t move legs. Instead commands show through others monsters/puppets/effects. Usually broadcasts tragedies. (stone in turn loves tragedies lmao)

Has Rounded mascot form - form that is held in place. Para is transformation - still held but with extending arms.

Retraton Para - has extra arms.

"Oh yes~" -> "Oh no :("

Previously Napstablook -> taken to Undyne when Alphys found her missing her home; neighbor of Undyne. Forced into robot when he kept trying to return home.

Songs are very sad and yearning. TV shows are A Lot but also uses a lot of effects because it’s not like there’s infinite monsters.

May not actively star is show frequently but instead use puppets || marionette puppets his cast and narrates -> sometimes puppets are real monsters Retraton has some sort of relationship with surrounding monsters hinting at his Para form.

Para - kills Undyne before protag can activating Para form. Para uses Undynes soul. Might kill surrounding monsters / connected monsters as well.

Retraton - no use of legs - part of why puppets. Maybe needs to remain charged or frequently and feels more comfortable plugged in.

Arms > legs.

Box Form -> literally just a box with arms - no wheel. Has to drag himself or walk with his arms. Maybe has a hover butt? Or a skateboard. Or has lots of little legs. Roomba.

Mettaton(MTT)- Hapstablook

Instead of lie on the floor feeling like garbage they sit on the roof and consider love.

Gaster and Riverperson -

Stay in their respective posts however Gaster speaks in song and the Riverperson speaks in hands

Riverperson - gondola (gondoga) dog theme, speaks in hands, gondola above river because river water is too dangerous

Grillby - fire sale; father of fireflies literally flames with wings. Has a pet Fryfly - long fry-like fly. Instead of forcing player onto strings covers the field with hazards and fire. Have to switch and jump over between flames.

Pacified by firesauce (increases damage, possible burn damage, take one damage for spice) or Frenchfire (a firefly with an exploding baguette - covering the board around you in fire for one turn and burning any incoming attacks) or the purchase of either from his Hotland firesale.

Prices may be inverted to some extent -> Hotland Prices are cheaper but u need both items to pacify him. Ruins are achievable but ridiculously expensive. Only need one to immediately pacify him. Differentiated by name is Hotland Firesauce vs Old/Ruin Firesauce

All Dog references -> Cats (and vice versa)

Dog Squad -> Cat Squad

Annoying Dog -> Adorable Cat

[rychillacases]

I'm going to answer this for my MC, Yaetherim. These are intriguing questions. He's a former forest protector turned private eye.

(Art by Pamonyaart.)

In the morning, tea, black, no sugar. In the evening, either beer or fruit juice, depending on the context. He drinks what he likes to drink. He's especially fond of Nistyr juice. This is a fruit native to Rychilla, which is about halfway between an apricot and an orange.

Yaetherim doesn't have much of a routine. He'll use water and a washcloth to scrub off dirt, while getting dressed of a morning. Then he'll tidy up his hair a bit and that's it. Bathes about 4-5 times a week, slightly higher than the usual 3-4 times.

Fairies use favours as currency, rather than coins or other tender. So Yaetherim's biggest purchase, so to speak, would be his dagger. It's a style known as a 'stinger', which is common for fairies. But the spent-crystal blade and wood inlay are marks of a top-quality weapon, designed for a user of florakind magic like him. For it, he traded his silence regarding an illicit affair betwen a fairy and the human armourer who made the stinger. It wasn't relevant to the case he was investigating.

He has 9 physical scars, most of which are visible in the artwork above. There's two on each of his legs, one on his left arm and three on his right. Another one crosses his chest. But the biggest is the hole in his right wing. It's been covered by a patch of airship skin fabric, held in place by stitches. Mental scars include touch aversion, mild PTSD, wariness of waterkind magic and a very negative body image. All of these come from one attack, when he was a forest protector. He found two Rychillans (humans) trespassing in the forest. They attacked him with a water lance and left him for dead. His plotline in my first book, A Pinch of Distrust, revolves around finding who did this to him.

It was after his second visit to Alkentoft, the nearest Rychillan town, several months after he was attacked. Despite the amount of time that had passed, the Rychillan town guard had made barely any progress in the investigation. This frustration, and the stress of knowing his attackers could return to finish him off, drove him to breaking point. He was alone when this happened, in a room at Cropper's Crony Inn.

He's the youngest of two children. His older brother, Naeviol, is the village apothecary back home. Naeviol is very protective of Yaetherim, even more so after Yaetherim was almost killed. Unfortunately, Yaetherim often doesn't see this, and tends to view Naeviol as borderline smothering. (I am planning some relationship development here.)

Yaetherim usually doesn't wear shoes. This is common for a forest fairy, they usually go barefoot or wear flip-flops or sandals. These shoes will be woven from plant material, and be light in construction. Yaetherim prefers being barefoot, as he can feel the texture of what he's landed on, and if there's any unexpected movement within it. At the start of Flames of Doubt, while posing as a caterer, he wears sandals. He finds them uncomfortable.

His hut in Riala Village is, like most fairy huts, a single room containing a bed, a couch (backless), wardrobe, dresser (with mirror), table and chairs. All furniture is wooden, with upholstery and coverings woven from leaves. When he's asleep, the door will usualliy be locked.

His favourite holiday would be the feast of gratitude. It's when Fairies throw a massive feast in honour of Galarus, the creator. Although he's not a professional cook, he enjoys it as a hobby and is very skilled at it. So he'll usually volunteer to help cook for this festival, and throw himself into it. It allows him to forget his troubles, if only for a few hours.

He usually wears his stinger sheathed on his belt, close to his right hand. As well as this, there's also a florakind crystal, worn in his belt buckle or his suspenders. The crystal is pretty much standard for all magic users (i.e. everyone). But these two items allow him to defend himself, should that be needed.

So my problem with most ‘get to know your character’ questioneers is that they’re full of questions that just aren’t that important (what color eyes do they have) too hard to answer right away (what is their greatest fear) or are just impossible to answer (what is their favorite movie.)  Like no one has one single favorite movie. And even if they do the answer changes.

If I’m doing this exercise, I want 7-10 questions to get the character feeling real in my head. So I thought I’d share the ones that get me (and my students) good results: 

What is the character’s go-to drink order? (this one gets into how do they like to be publicly perceived, because there is always some level of theatricality to ordering drinks at a bar/resturant)

What is their grooming routine? (how do they treat themselves in private)

What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go? (Gets you thinking about socio-economic class, values, and how they spend their leisure time)

Do they have any scars or tattoos? (good way to get into literal backstory) 

What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances? (Good way to get some *emotional* backstory in.) 

Are they an oldest, middle, youngest or only child? (This one might be a me thing, because I LOVE writing/reading about family dynamics, but knowing what kinds of things were ‘normal’ for them growing up is important.)

Describe the shoes they’re wearing. (This is a big catch all, gets into money, taste, practicality, level of wear, level of repair, literally what kind of shoes they require to live their life.)

Describe the place where they sleep. (ie what does their safe space look like. How much (or how little) care / decoration / personal touch goes into it.)

What is their favorite holiday? (How do they relate to their culture/outside world. Also fun is least favorite holiday.) 

What objects do they always carry around with them? (What do they need for their normal, day-to-day routine? What does ‘normal’ even look like for them.) 

[sebastiankicksrocks]

Meet Krista

(the second image was my first ever concept design of Krista so thats why it looks a tiny bit different than the first character sheet)

This isn't a full in depth analysis on Krista's backstory (if you want that look at this post where I talk about all of the warriors) its just talking about her in general as a person and her interests

So like I said in my previous post, Krista is a determined and strong person, though she can often overestimate herself and is at times a bit too cocky, while she obviously is physically strong she doesn't pay much mind to using certain tactics to fight against enemies other than just fighting them, she often immediately goes off punching people without thinking of her surroundings and any way she could outsmart her opponent.

Krista also can get overwhelmed easily when things go wrong, she also sometimes imagines bad things that could possibly happen in her head and then gets obsessive and worried over it even though it hasn't happened in real life.

Despite her flaws Krista is very nice and seems to be the type of person that can make friends easily.

Krista is the latest member to join the warriors, the warriors is a group of people who protect the fictional town of Lotville (the town is in Arizona), Lotville has a lot of supernatural occurrences but its always covered up by the authorities and made to look like natural occurrence such as accidents and murders, so the warriors sort out the supernatural stuff instead.

Krista is originally from Sweden, she went to Lotville because her older sister went off to study in America but then went missing, so Krista went looking for her and ended up joining the warriors.

Krista learned the basics of English when she first joined the warriors and she's decent at speaking the language though she does struggle to pronounce certain words.

Krista is really bad at drawing, she always makes people's heads look like eggs and she doesn't understand basic anatomy, this doesn't discourage her though and she always tries to do her best

Krista loves indian food, burgers, carrots, cucumbers, lemonade, banana smoothies and green tea

Krista hates chicken nuggets, pears, anything with nuts in, pickles, beer and water (but she drinks water anyways because you gotta stay hydrated)

Krista's favourite music artists are Blondie, Lady Gaga and Slipknot

Krista's favourite movies are The Matrix and The Mummy

Krista occasionally plays video games, but she's not that good at them so she mainly plays video games targeted at younger kids like Mario

Krista wants to read books but she's very bad at paying attention, most of the time when she's reading a page she immediately forgets what she just read afterwards and needs to read it again, so she often just watches the movie adaptations of books (as long as she's heard its good)

Krista has so many friends that when someone asks who her best friend is she can't answer because she doesn't want to make anyone feel left out (though she does mostly spend a lot of time with Sasha Koslov and Aiden Banks)

Sasha got the heart necklace for Krista's birthday because Sasha thinks she has a heart of gold

This particular story doesn't exactly have a 'main character' but if someone were to ever adapt this story into a movie, tv series or some other story based media I'd recommend either Krista or Aiden be the main character

Krista is attracted to men and women

Krista sometimes forgets to take off her gloves, she often sleeps with them on and sometimes she accidentally wears them in the bath/shower and doesn't realise for a long time

Krista prefers baths over showers but Aiden makes her take showers most of the time to save water (all of the warriors live in the same building which is basically an abandoned hotel turned into a base)

Krista isn't scared of spiders but she is scared of flies, she has an irrational fear of flies flying into her ear and laying eggs and then maggots start crawling around in her ear, she kind of likes spiders because they eat flies

Krista still goes trick or treating at 24 years old, this is her halloween costume:

(its a ghost girl apparently)

Krista was named after Historia's fake name Krista from the anime/manga Attack On Titan

Krista wears bandaids over her earrings during training because she takes too long to take them out

[colossal-fallout]

[ Classified ]

The full report - Eren Yeager

The following report details all information on Eren Yeager. Contains NSFW content and reader must be over the age of 18 to view this document.

For your eyes only.

Name: Eren Yeager

Birthplace: Shiganshina

Height: 180cm / 5ft 9"

General

[ A1 ]

Appearance & Hygiene practices:

Eren's chestnut brown hair is always clean and fresh. Whenever he pays you a late night visit, he'll have most probably just gotten out of the shower. Coconut scented shampoo of sorts? Whatever it is, it smells so good.

Prefers showers over a bathe. He says it's to save time, but he spends a good 40 - 60 minutes in there, easily.

Once he's dry, likes to throw on jogger bottoms and a hoodie over his bare skin. His bare skin that is now so soft and scented as his favourite shower gel which is either tea-tree oil or Coconut.

If he wants to remain clean shaven, Eren must shave every 2-3 days. Sometimes he likes to grow it out but nothing ever past a long stubble.

Minimal body hair.

Trims the hairs on his pubic bone/lower stomach. Has pleasuring you in mind as he does so. Will take into consideration the friction against you.

Totally clean shaven testicles.

Eren's nails are short but that's because he bites them. [ see section A3 ]

Beautiful set of teeth. Brushes twice daily in a modern AU.

Eren adores it when you brush his hair for him. He finds it extremely relaxing as you massage his scalp. His eyes will close and a small, barely audible hum will emit from time to time.

Eren's skin care routine is pretty basic. All of the steam from sitting in his hot, frequent showers for so long seems to do him wonders - his skin is flawless and worthy of envy.

Due to the healing power of being a Titan shifter, Eren has no scars.

Eren has quite large hands with long fingers. He doesn't wear rings or jewellery as it reminds him of the burden of when he had to keep that damn key on him at all times. Will however, put up with a wedding ring.

[A2]

Body & Love language:

Eren is a pretty introverted person. His hands are usually tucked away inside of his pockets - be it either trousers or hoody/jacket.

He hunches a little too. Likes to feel hidden. He's had enough attention over the years and wants nothing more than to just shrink away in a crowded room. Or maybe, it's the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Brooding, moody exterior. Extreme "resting bitch face"

Shrugs a lot. At first glance, you'd think he was a moody teenager trapped in a grown man's body.

Likes to sit with his feet flat up on the chair with his knees splayed - you'll usually find him like this with an arm resting over a knee while the other is at a 90 degree angle pointing away from his hip.

Fumbles his hands together in formal occasions when he can't sit so casually or tuck them away.

Likes to drape his arm over you without touching you. His arm will rest above you on the top of the chair. A clear indication of "They're mine" and "I will keep you safe"

His hips will usually be swivelled in your direction, regardless of where you are in the room. A subconscious body language of sexual yearning.

Eren likes to hold hands with you when you're walking. He's not huge on PDA but likes the strong yet subtle showings that you're together.

Tends to rub his thumb over the back of your hand absent-mindedly when you do so.

His love languages include physical touch. Can get very needy and touch starved pretty easily. Not in a overbearing way, but even just a run of his slender fingers through your hair is enough to keep him going until the two of you are in a more private setting.

[A3]

Bad Habits & Tendencies:

As mentioned above, Eren bites his finger nails. His toe nails too. It's pretty gross to be honest.

He never does it in public, but he has been known to do it in front of you when he feels comfortable enough to do so.

Get's very fidgety when irritated or annoyed, which is pretty often. Especially if Jean is around.

Short temper. He's learned to tame it more over the years where he doesn't show it so easily. But everyone has their limit and when his is reached, his yell is booming and pretty intimidating.

During an argument with you he has been known to raise his voice, but it's not the frightening roar you've heard him unleash on others before.

Always apologises to you after he's calmed down. Even though it wasn't that bad.

If you two ever have a bad falling out, will lock himself away for days. He'll be pissed at himself for letting it get so bad and depressed that you two are having such problems. But he'll do anything he can to fix it.

[ A4 ]

Common misconceptions:

Obviously everyone has their own cannons and opinions. But I don't personally see Eren as being an abusive partner. Yeah, he has his problems and treats his friends like shit but there's a reason for that we'll probably see in the last chapter. If you're worthy enough to pierce that cold and distant shell, you're a very special person and he'll treat you as such.

Eren actually has a large heart hidden under that huge chip on his shoulder. He cares and loves the people around him unconditionally. Even to the point of carrying out mass genocide to protect them.

Still... He does have a dark side to be weary of at times.

Even though he's gross while in Liberio, usually Eren is actually pretty clean.

[ A5 ]

Food & Drink:

In a Modern AU Eren loves fancy coffees with the weird names. The longer to pronounce, the better. He just likes the fact they give him energy and the fancier ones taste good.

Due to not having meat for so long, a good ol' fashioned beef/lamb stew is his favourite.

Doesn't drink in canon.

Modern AU, his alcoholic beverage of choice is bottles of beer and craft ales. Sometimes is a sucker for red wine.

[ A6 ]

Modern Au:

Eren wears loose clothing. Hoodies, loose jeans, those baggy cardigans too.

His texting style is spam over one long message. Especially if he's pissed off. He's too impatient to sit and type in paragraphs.

Drives a black car. Don't ask me what type, I don't know cars. But it's black, 'kay?

It also has "black ice" air freshener inside.

Likes to ride quads and mopeds along fields. He's a thrill seeker. Rollercoasters, bungee jumping... you name it he's game.

Eren plays the guitar. He took lessons for it but after about a year he just went his own way and self-taught.

If he sees a guitar at a party, he will pick it up and play it. He won't sing though.

He actually hates singing. He finds it embarrassing.

Always has in his air pods/earphones.

Likes any sort of music that is catchy.

Probably streams on Twitch. He won't talk much though.

Could have a wide range of jobs. Coffee shop, could be in college, might be a ride attendant... who knows? It's anyone's guess what Eren is doing. He doesn't talk about himself that much.

Romance & NSFW

[ B1 ]

Crush:

Eren would definitely be in denial he has a crush on you at first.

• “Does y/n seem different to you?”

Armin; “No…? In what way?”

“I dunno… Just, different.”

• His poor stubborn brain would be ticking for weeks as to why he suddenly wants to be near you a lot more often and has urges to touch you, even if it’s just a slight brush against your arm.

• Will find any excuse to do extra training with you

• Once he FINALLY clicks on as to why he’s had these feelings, he’ll be pretty knocked off his feet and a little annoyed at himself.

I’m here to kill the enemy...

• Still though… Can’t seem to keep himself away.

[ B2 ]

First kiss & general kisses:

After the initial denial and keeping himself away, he'll just decide one day he's had enough of feeling this way and decides to to something about it.

He won't shove himself onto you. He'll do some sly probing to see if there is any indication of reciprocation.

Knowing Eren, he'll indirectly piss you off or insult you. He didn't mean to. He's just lacking social skills. Man aint smooth.

You'll slap him, probably, where he'll keep his head away from you for a few seconds, realising he's pushed you too far. Whichever side you palmed him away, he'll stay.

He'll slowly return his gaze to yours before gently holding your arms, apologising and planting his lips onto yours.

His general kisses are quite firm and forceful. Not in an aggressive way, but a "god I want you so bad" way.

Always either slides his arms around your waist or cups your face/head.

He tastes like sweetened tea <3 / Coffee in a Modern AU

Loves coming from behind and snaking his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck when you're doing something. Doesn't like it when your attention is away from him for too long.

When he's feeling soft and tender, will dance his nose with yours and catching your mouth in a caress.

When he's super turned on, he'll suck your tongue, bite your bottom lip and kiss anywhere he can.

[ B3 ]

Sex:

Ha ~~!

Eren is up there with the best when it comes to sex. He knows what he's doing and he does it well.

Extremely skilled with his fingers and tongue. He'll have you crawling the walls with hysteria as he likes to tease you throughout the day. He more than makes up for it, though.

Gropes, nips, kisses, licks, bites, flicks... anywhere and everywhere he can.

Is the most vocal when you perform oral sex on him. Will groan so deeply, his entire body will vibrate.

Dirty talk is this man's second language.

"Look how desperate you are for me." / "Look how desperate for you you've gotten me..."

"Do I feel good like this?"

"Am I making you feel good baby?"

"You're so good at that. Fuck, such a good girl/boy"

"S'so fuckin' tight."

"You're my little fuck thing, aren't you?"

"You're perfect."

"I love you..."

Are some of the many things you'll hear while he's fucking you.

He doesn't really have a favourite position. He'll gladly take you anyway he can. If he's in a rough mood, he'll bend you over the sofa, take you up against the wall... But if he's feeling more soft he'll make slow, passionate love to you for hours.

He does have a strong soft side at times.

Dominic Dominant. He loves seeing you totally at his mercy, the power over you the most arousing thing in the world to him.

Big daddy dilf vibes. He knows what he’s doing and he’s fucking good at it too.

The only time he’ll sub is if he wants to be lazy - letting you ride him and use him to your heart’s content.

Dirty talk. It can get pretty degrading at times. If you’re not into that, he respects that boundary.

Will absolutely ruin you.

Low-key loves it when you claw his back in hysteria. He thrives knowing he can send you absolutely insane, and he can just heal the claw marks in a matter of seconds. Sometimes even during sex (which is the hottest thing ever)

In an AU modern, he would love to fuck you near a large mirror or record you both getting at it to watch at a later date.

A lot of hissing, humming and low groaning, especially when he’s close to unloading.

Likes to watch you masturbate, putting his head close and observing intently. Loses his shit if you moan his name while doing so.

Hair pulling is his overload language. Will tug fistfuls when he gets too turned on.

[ B4 ]

Kinks:

The risk of getting caught. He likes having risky sex in semi public locations. Makes a game of how loud he can get you to moan, knowing someone would probably hear you.

Light Degradation. When he’s in a rough mood, he doesn’t mind calling you a few names. Nothing too extreme. And if it’s not your thing, he’ll respect that boundary.

Loves a good ol’ 69. Having you on his face with your ass in view is just… *Chef’s kiss*

Speaking of ass, he loves to bend you over too, allowing himself in nice and deep with a great view and something Juicy to grab.

[ B5 ]

Aftercare:

Aftercare with Eren isn’t anything special unfortunately. He’s another who gets sleepy after sex.

Won’t ignore you though. Often lazy pillow talk is on the cards and telling you how much you mean to him and how beautiful you are.

Will run his fingers across your scalp to soothe you.

Also will kiss any bite marks or finger bruises he’s left behind and ask if you’re okay.

Relationship with loved ones & becoming serious

[ C1 ]

Friends & Family:

When Eren meet's your friends family he will be polite yet quiet. He wants them to like him but he won't pine for their approval. If they like him, awesome. If they don't...? No big deal.

Same goes with your friends. He'll stay quiet until spoken to at first, but once he's been eased into conversation, he'll flow with it a lot easier.

Again, he'll be polite but don't expect him to kiss ass, because he certainly wont.

[ C2 ]

Marriage:

You couldn’t actually believe Eren had proposed. Although he was down on one knee in front of your very eyes, your mind just wasn’t accepting it. Folks and onlookers watched with bated breath, awaiting your answer. He sure kept this surprise hidden well…

Of course, you said yes and he picked you up by your waist in a spin, colliding his lips to yours.

And now here he was, watching you walk down the aisle, a lump in his throat and his heart racing.

You looked gorgeous, like something from a fairy tale.

And of course, he looked as handsome as ever. His suit was smart and his hair was up in its usual bun.

Armin is his best man, of course; who is standing and beaming with pride.

Eren holds back his chokes and tears as he reads his vows;

“Y/N… From the first time I ever laid eyes on you, all those years ago, I knew you would be in my life forever. Back then, I didn’t think it would be as my wife, but God I am so glad it is. I’m sorry for my stubbornness and irrational behaviour when we were young. But despite that you still loved, and stood by me and for that I’ll be eternally grateful. I vow to always stand beside you, whatever the world throws at us. I vow to hold you when you need support. I vow to remember how you always had my back no matter what. And I vow to always love you, with my heart and soul, until the day I die and after.”

The room erupts in cheers and tears when you seal your kiss.

The reception is wild.

Everyone is drunk (except Levi) and dancing. Reiner and Connie are dancing like weirdos, Reiner's blazer removed and at one point Connie is on his shoulders.

Sasha has too much to drink and is spewing in the bathroom.

Mikasa can’t stop crying with happiness and pride.

He carries you to your room afterwards where you spend all night sealing a special bond that will never be broken.

[ C3 ]

Children:

Eren has a soft spot for children, believe it or not. As seen before the expedition to the forest of giant trees. He sees his old self behind the innocent glint of unaltered admiration within a child's eyes.

He's not super into child play though. He wont pull weird voices or funny faces. He'll sit at their level and speak to them like they were anyone else. Obviously, watching what he says around them.

If they're unchecked and acting themselves, he'll become quickly annoyed as they wreck havoc around him and will have to leave the room or he'll get too agitated.

If his s/o discovers they're pregnant he'll seem to take it well. But inside he's falling apart and freaking out. He won't ever show it to them, but he doesn't know how he could be a father. Would he be like his own? Would he be able to be a good figure to look up to? What if he fails? Is it selfish to bring a child into this cruel world?

He'll be shocked but understandably so. After after a couple of weeks of self-reflection and brooding, he'll start to feel better about the whole thing.

More protective over his s/o than usual. Will make sure they're eating, drinking, resting and god help you if he finds you doing something you shouldn't such as trying to lift something heavy.

Will hold your hair and rub you back, as well as bring you water while you're having your morning sickness.

"Babe? It's four in the afternoon. How come you're still sick?"

"Eren, it's called morning sickness but it can happen any time."

He'll click his tongue. "....That's a dumb name, then."

The first time he feels the baby kick within you, his heart absolutely melts. His eyes enlarge and you could swear you saw them soften with that spark behind his emerald greens he had when you were younger.

His large palm is warm against your stomach as he feels around, the little flutter of your child hitting against his skin making him flinch in surprise at first.

"Woah..." He'll gasp in amazement. "They're already so strong. Hey, y/n? Doesn't that hurt?"

"Sometimes." You'll laugh softly.

He'll gingerly place his face to your skin, a little embarrassed he's doing this; but he feels the need. "...Don't hurt your mom, okay?"

As your pregnancy progresses and you get larger, he will not leave your side. If he has to, he'll be worrying and you'll be occupying his mind. In a modern au, he'll constantly call and text and will get Mikasa or Armin to check in on you often.

Will be so gentle during love making. He's terrified he'll hurt the baby.

One of the only times you've seen Eren panic in his adult life is when your waters break.

You'd gotten up in the middle of the night to pee. Climbed back into bed and felt a strange pressure, followed by a pop. Then a warm gushing sensation. You wait a few seconds to settle your own panic before you nudge Eren awake.

"Eren..."

He'll bolt up, confused. "What? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

"Eren, my waters have broken."

"Shit. Okay. Shit. What do we do? Shit." He'll leap out of bed and throw the lights on. You get to your feet where more water will start to drop onto the floor. "Shit, shit. I'll get the bag. Do you need help getting dressed? Okay, where's my jacket? WHERE'S MY JACKET?!"

"Eren, honey I need to you calm down."

"Okay, sorry. I'm calm. Shit. Shit..."

Will hold your hand with a worried look the entire time you're in labour. Has water and snacks on hand.

Will watch in amazement as your child is pushed into the world. This magical moment changes something in him, but right now he's not sure what that is.

They will bond immediately. As soon as he holds your son/daughter he can't take his wide gaze off them.

They're inseparable.

Any doubts of being a bad father is washed away as he takes them under his wing and teaches them about the world.

[amysteriousmessenger]

RFA with an MC who gets SUPER EMOTIONAL on her period, like she cries for absolutely everything, also when they go to the store to buy pads for her 👉👈

I got you anon! I will try to keep this gender-neutral to include anyone who has periods! I hope I did okay for you <3 I’m sorry if these are kinda short, I have a bad headache today but didn’t want to skip posting again!  Yoosung Kim with an MC on their Period Headcanons

Baby boy is a little scared scared, he didn’t mean to make you cry. He didn’t know you wanted the last biscuit, he didn’t even know you liked these biscuits. He’ll offer to go out and buy you some more but by the time he’s offered you’ve already stopped caring and moved on to another snack. 

He’s had to buy pads for his sister before, but he’s still rather shy to be in the aisle looking and he would essentially just run through and grab the first pack he saw. No matter how much he tells himself it’s not a big deal, he still blushes at the counter. He’ll also call to ask what snacks you want whilst he’s out.

He’ll give you lot of cuddles and let you wear his hoodie. If you’re having a particularly bad day he’ll also make you his very special omurice to make you feel better! 

If you want affection then he’ll offer you a backrub, but if you want some space then he’ll make himself scarce and play LOLOL until you feel better!

Zen/Hyun Ryu with an MC on their Period Headcanons 

He thought it was a bit weird that you were crying during a cooking show, but wasn’t one to judge. He suggested putting one of his musicals on to make you feel better but it somehow made you cry even more.

He would absolutely offer you a massage and ask if you want any painkillers but on the whole he’s a bit clueless towards the whole thing. He’s never really had any experience with it, but he can’t stand to see his lover cry regardless.

Zen thinks of himself as knight in shining armour when you ask him to pick up some pads from the convenience store when he’s going out to get beer. He has absolutely no idea what he’s supposed to be buying so you might have to write it on a piece of paper for him or text him a picture of what you want.

He’s not a great cook, but he’ll try making you any food you’re particularly craving.

Once again, this man is offering you a bubble bath and a massage.

Jaehee Kang with an MC on their period Headcanons

She knows. She understands. 

Jaehee offers you chocolate and Zen’s musicals, which is usually how she deals with her own period when it gets particularly bad. Jaehee also absolutely understands crying extra hard during one of Zen’s musicals, and will offer you her shoulder/chest to cry on.

Usually, Jaehee would offer you a tea or a coffee but caffeine can make cramps worse, so she’d offer you a nice decaf coffee or some hot chocolate instead. 

At least Jaehee wouldn’t need to go out to the store as she’d have her own sanitary products and painkillers in her apartment if you were in need of some extra. She also has a hot water bottle for any particularly bad cramps. 

Jaehee suffers quite a bit when she’s on her own period but doesn’t really get the time to look after herself and recover from the fatigue and headaches, so she just has to power through it because she’s worked like a machine at her job anyway. This means that she gives extra sympathy to you because it’s a little bit of sympathy that she wished she could get. Please, be kind to Jaehee when it’s her turn.

Jumin Han with an MC on her period Headcanons

Jumin, horrifically, definitely knows when you’re due to start your period and has his personal shopper prepare accordingly. Jumin’s personal doctor has all of your charts so your health can always be monitored and protected. 

He’d try to be empathetic, but he just sort of comes at you with facts and science rather than any actual comfort.  ���____, I understand you’re crying because you’re menstruating, this is because your hormones are out of bala-’  - ‘Jumin, dear.’  ‘Yes?’  - ‘Please, shut up.’  ‘Of course.’

He wouldn’t have to go to the shop because he had your products bought well in advance, and there is always a personal supply for you there. Besides, if it was an absolute emergency he would just have one of his staff members go to one of the stores in his building or even send poor Jaehee out to get them.

If you drink, he’d offer you a glass of wine whilst informing you that ‘alcohol can slow down uterine contractions thus relieving the pain to some extent’ which, you didn’t really need to know, but appreciated the offer nonetheless.

Jumin would offer you a backrub and would make sure you’re appropriately pampered with whatever food you wanted from the chef even when he’s not there. Jumin wouldn’t baby you, but he is sympathetic.

Saeyoung Choi/Seven with an MC on their period Headcanons

Seven is worried that he was cold towards you without realising and you cry because of it. Once you explain it to him, he’s both relieved and ready to give you some cuddles regardless. If you’re not in the mood to be touched, you can just set up camp on one of the beanbags next to his desk for company.

He has plenty of snacks to keep you going, so for your sake it’s best to be craving Honey Butter Chips and Dr Pepper. If you want something more substantial, you’re welcome to anything in the kitchen or to take a couple of notes out of his wallet to order some food for the both of you, lord knows how long it has been since Seven had a decent hot meal that wasn’t made by you.

If he has to go to the shop, this man is absolutely in the sanitary product aisle calling to ask what size pussy you wear. He’s a little confused, but he’s got the right spirit. He’s a genius, but he gets a little confused and just buys a bunch of stuff so he doesn’t get the wrong one.

If you’re in need of some attention, he’ll let you sit on his lap whilst he works for a bit, or join you on the sofa if he has finished for the day. He’ll join you for a movie and wrap his arms around you, since they’re warm enough to basically act like a hot water bottle anyway.

[lune-hime]

Garden of Tulips (Levi/Reader) Tea Time # 2 ~ Shower Mishap

~Click me for more chapters~

“What did it look like?”

“Hmm?” Levi looked up from his place next to your sleeping form. “The titan that tried to snack on my darling granddaughter.” “Ugly as fuck.” “Aren’t they all?”

Levi recounts memories of the reader and their shared life together while she recovers from a serious injury.

!!WARNINGS!! - Violence, gore, smut, wholesome content ;)

So these little Tea Times were written as little filler-memory chapters to place in between the main story line.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Y/N.” Hange drawled. She clumsily attempted to sit cross legged along the dining hall bench, her legs not quite folding correctly. When she almost tipped over the side, Erwin used his quick reflexes to snag her by the arm and place her upright. You sloppily turned your head to give her as much undivided attention that your remaining active brain cells could muster.

“Please enlighten everyone on the shower story.” Her request brought a giddy smile to her lips. Levi immediately cast you a quizzical look, his gaze drowning in beer. Your face heated up like an oiled saucepan but thanks to the excessive drinking it made no difference to your already rosy complexion.

“But it might be too unprofessional for the Commander.” You shot a sassy look at Hange over Levi who was seated between the two of you. Alcohol was quite the bold word choice inducer as you definitely would not have phrased your sentence with so much gusto if you were sober.

“What in the fucking hell  kind of story is this?” Levi asked darkly, his pupils dilated so far they eclipsed their usual silver. There was a preciseness to his phrase despite it being slurred. Indeed, the only soul at the table who knew of your unintentional shower adventure was your former squad leader. Erwin chuckled softly and Mike quirked an eyebrow at you.

“We drink as friends tonight, Y/N. No one will get you in trouble for just telling a story-” Erwin began his explanation calmly but paused when he locked eyes with Levi’s burning glare. It took what was left of his composure to refrain himself from laughing at the tiny fireball across the table.

“But only tell it if you are comfortable doing so.” The commander flashed a dazzling smile before taking a hearty swig of his drink. The man may have been inebriated but he was still so much more put together than the rest of you. Well, with the exception of Mike of course.

“It’s not that bad, don’t worry about it Vivi.” You reassured the steaming man between giggles. You reached up to gingerly pat his cheek a couple times, his glare turning into an intensely childish pout that he would definitely deny later.

“So you’ll tell it?” Hange chittered, practically vibrating with excitement. You nodded lazily, swaying a bit but steadied by Levi’s secure arm around your waist.

“Okay so, it was during my first few months as a cadet-”

↞♞♘↠

You had come to terms with the fact that you were going to be tired on a daily basis. Since you had joined the cadets it was nonstop physical and tactical training that bored into the innermost parts of your brain and body, immersing you in a constant state of exhaustion. Your grandmother’s war stories about her painful life in the military were indeed accurate (well, yours were much less scandalous than hers); it’s no joke how far the organization pushes every limb, muscle, fiber, and atom within your being.

Which was why you couldn’t be happier that you had an hour of free time to shower after your training session before you had to meet your mentor. Plush towel hanging off your shoulder, you rounded the corner of one of the many hallways of the vast compound and practically skipped into the bathing area.

The steam from the showers was thick at first and obscured the space as you passed through the initial chamber to enter the main bathing area. The only element of the atmosphere that told you other cadets were occupying the room was their loud banter and laughter. Only, it wasn’t the feminine voices you were accustomed to hearing and you’re pretty sure you just heard Connie’s na-

“Y/N!?!?!” A voice shrieked, immediately scuttling to the side upon discovering your arrival. When your vision adjusted to the thick steam, your eyes widened in shock when you spotted Eren's very exposed form through the haze.

"Ohmygodohmygod, Eren I'm so sor-" You blabbed, immediately trying to look anywhere but the boy's nether regions. Before the split second it would have taken to cover your eyes, you were startled by an immense figure in your personal space. The shadow gave you zero time to shield yourself from the Michaelangelo’s David that was possibly the cockiest cadet on the premises.  

"Y/N, I didn't know you were so bold. Come to play?" Reiner cooed, smirk widening as he watched your face heat up to the scalding temperature of their showers. He made no effort to hide his manhood, as Eren did, and actually attempted to emphasize it by propping his leg up against one of the benches littered throughout the bath. You were frozen in embarrassment and as much as you wanted to punch him right in the spot he most yearned for you to gaze upon, you couldn't do it.

"Walls, Reiner do you have any shame?" You spat back, your muscles still seized up with your beyond awkward encounter.

"None if it comes to you, sweetheart." He chuckled confidently. Before you could quip back another response, a blur shouting your name dashed towards you and turned your vision black. The hands over your eyes became your sole protector from the copious amounts of naked men.

“I know you are dumb, but you really need to watch where you are going.” Jean scolded from behind you in a hushed tone. You let out the balloon of a breath you had been internalizing. If you hadn’t believed in angels before, Jean sure as hell was your angel now. He abruptly turned around and began waddling the two of you towards the entrance when you heard agile footsteps circling around you. Jean suddenly halted, the unexpected loss of movement sending you flailing.

“Hold up, Jean. Maybe she knew exactly where she was going.” Reiner purred. You felt Jean’s breath quicken against your ear and his grip on your temple tightened momentarily. You didn’t need to physically see Reiner’s face to picture the shit-eating smirk edging its way into his features.

“If you wanted me, Y/N, all you had to do was ask.”

The sound of wet feet against tile grew closer until you felt unwanted puffs of air leaving feather-light touches on your face. Jean suddenly flung you sideways like a cooked noodle, placing himself between you and Reiner and causing you to squeak in surprise.

“Fuck off Reiner. She doesn’t want to see your tiny dick.”  Jean spat back. A chorus of snickers resounded through the bathroom.

“She was trying hard just a moment ago to avoid the temptation.” Reiner huffed. His arrogance was like a tough stain that you couldn’t get out, no matter how hard you scrubbed.

“Sadly, I did see it and Jean’s right.” You groaned. Your best friend let out a snort followed by the laughter you could feel rumbling from his chest.

“You must not have gotten a good look at it then-”

"If you don't get out of our way, no one will get the minute pleasure of seeing your dick again." Jean sarcastically threatened.

"Please, Reiner, give it a rest." A soft voice pleaded to your right. You recognized it as a familiar cadet, one Jean had grown quite close to.

"Everyone else besides you is uncomfortable here." Marco's even tone was music to your reddened ears. There was a palpable silence of which you presumed was the soundtrack to an alpha male staring contest. Then, Reiner huffed and backed off seeing that the odds were against him.

"Fine, fine. You know you can always call on me Y/N." Reiner chided before sauntering back into the shower.

"The only call he'll be getting is from the infirmary." You grumbled under your breath.

“Can’t keep it in his pants for five minutes can he?” Jean scoffed lowly as he began leading you to the doorway.

“I mean he’s not wearing pants…” You mumbled, still trying to recover from the overwhelming shock and embarrassment. Jean stopped you at the entrance to the connecting hallway.

"When I let go, don't you dare look behind you." Jean warned, playfully swaying you back and forth.

"Okay just let me go!" You sputtered and swatted his arms before he released you.

You fixed your gaze on the tile walls and heaved a sigh of relief.

"Thanks Jean, I owe you one." You said, voice regaining its composure.

"Whatever, just buy me some food when we go into town next." He replied. You heard him turn around and begin padding back to the showers when you realized your shoulder was missing a fluffy presence. Your towel must have fallen off during your steamy showdown.

"Jean wait!!" You exclaimed. You turned around and in the waning of your flustered hysteria forgot you were technically still in the boy's bathroom. Both your and Jean's eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

"Shit, Y/N what did I say???" Jean exclaimed, hands immediately flying to cover his crotch. You breathed a heavy exhale, feeling the flames scorching your cheeks once more.

"Dammit, I'm sorry! My towel fell-" You sputtered and cursed at yourself for letting the heat flood your brain cells too.

"Ah! Y/N-" Marco appeared with your towel, only he was sporting his birthday suit as well. Oh, this could not get any worse. You were the embodiment of a beet, cheeks puffing in fear and eyes screwing shut.

"I have your towel, I was going to place it by the doorway but-um-here." Marco gently grabbed your hand and placed the towel in it. He laughed nervously and retreated back into the bath.

You turned back around to face opposite of the doorway and slumped your head into your hands exasperatedly.

"You good now?" Jean checked, slight annoyance evident in his tone.

"No." You whimpered in utter mortification.

“Reiner’s just a dick who thinks that everyone wants to see his own.” Jean said with a roll of his eyes.

"It was an accident, so don't worry. Plus this gives me prime blackmail material." He snickered. You shot him the middle finger over your shoulder.

“How am I going to face anyone in that room anymore?” You groaned sadly, the last three minutes of excitement playing on an endless loop within your mortified mind.

“Easy, if they bring it up just kick them on any part of their body you saw today.” Jean snickered.

“But I saw every-” You started to protest and then gasped in horror. Your humiliated expression deepened Jean’s smirk.

"We'll pretend it never happened. Now please, go to the proper bathroom before you play with the crazy lady. You stink."

↞↠

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” Hange asked, taking a break from poking at the titan’s dirtied toenail. When her apprentice approached the titan holding area she looked absolutely worn out.

“I have the extreme urge to scratch my eyes out.” You groaned, setting your bag of notes down and crouching in the grass next to her.

“Please don’t, today I need you to help me scratch Bean’s eye instead.”

↞♞♘↠

Levi’s grip threatened to shatter the glass pint as he brought it down onto the table with too much force.

“If we had been together when this happened I would have ripped off every one of their micro cadet penises.” He hissed, the alcohol turning into flames within his eyes.

There was a moment’s pause before the entire squad leader table erupted in laughter. The guffaw rattled the wood paneling and caused confused cadets to turn their heads in shock. Erwin accidentally snorted some of his beer and was now struggling with it coming out of his nose. Seeing the commander in such a state caused the same exact thing to happen to you, the burning of the alcohol hurt almost as much as your stomach did from hilarity. Mike kneed the table so hard that it sent his drink flying at Hange who moved out of the way to dodge it, only to smack into Levi’s chest. The action caused the two of them to double over and flip off the bench which only caused the rest of your table to create a larger cacophony.

Nights spent in cherished company like these were ones you held close to your heart.

[do-you-think-im-spoopy]

Because I requested it...a post-Small Potatoes Scully-is-mortified-beyond-repair fic.. (this is version 2 bc my last one got eaten in the drafts)

Shit. He knows.He knows.He knows.He knows. She paced the carpet between her couch and coffee table, involuntary reliving the trauma. Which is what she'd been doing for the better part of two days now.

Knows what? What does he know? What does she even know? He couldn't know when there was nothing to know. He couldn't. But he does. He knows.

Scully stared at the spot where faux-Mulder had been days earlier. Another wash of pink fell over her cheeks, burning them in the cool of her living room. A tight coil in the pit of her stomach that wouldn't seem to budge. Shame. Horror.

Turns out her carefully constructed emotional walls were immune to everything except a dressed-down almost-Mulder, some casual conversation and a half a bottle of wine. Easy as ever, Dana, she scolded herself.

Of course. Of fucking course it wasn't him. She'd known him for four years. He didn't show up to hang out. He didn't want to talk about their lives. He certainly didn't try to kiss her. She'd have to make a dress out of literal X-files to catch his attention. Stupid, she thought, her face heating up again. She placed her cool fingers to them to hide from the embarrassment.

She felt...icky to say the least. And no amount of bubble baths would help. Not hours of scrubbing her apartment. Not throwing out the clothes she'd been wearing. Not calling her mom. Not a new box of herbal tea. Not a new book. None of her usual comforts. Nothing had helped. She was filthy.

Call him..a voice nagged, and she nearly laughed to herself. She was going nuts. The walls were closing in.

She ignored the fact that both she and her inner voices knew that the only way to start moving past this was to talk to him. Nope. Not gonna happen.

No, it was time for the big guns. Greasy cheese pizza, butter popcorn, beer (not wine, the very idea turned her stomach sour). Or the torpedoes...dye her hair, redecorate, get a dog, leave the country.

He hadn't called. Why hadn't he called? She had a vision of him meeting with Skinner, asking to have her reassigned. How could he work with her now? He KNEW.

She was vulnerable and she hated it. She was exposed and naked and felt violated.

Not by Eddie Van Blundht. But by Fox William Mulder. He had seen past her carefully wrought defenses and he hadn't even had to try. Made no effort. Just busted in to them already obliterated. Literally.

She played through a hypothetical conversation, rehearsing her denial. Besides, was she even really about to kiss him? She was just sitting there. Prove it! You can't! Ha!

But he knew. By the look on his face there in her busted doorway. It was burned into her memory, that look. Fear, turned confusion, turned...something she had been trying to analyze but couldn't.

She could practice lying to him for as long as she wanted but as soon as she looked at him the truth would come out. Or nothing would come out, which is as good as an admission.

He would know. He knows everything.

Bastard.

She played through a scenario that was, in her opinion, the most likely and palatable. One where he teased her relentlessly about the...unpleasantness.

Unpleasantness? You mean almost making out with your partner's doppelganger.

Maybe she could go back to teaching pathology. At least there she wouldn't be a laughing stock. Dead bodies and busy students don't have time to laugh.

She was overreacting, well, slightly. But, the pizza was definitely still on the table. She picked up her cordless phone, which began ringing in her hand.

"Scul-I mean hello," she said, shaking her head.

"....hey," she straighten her back at his voice.

"Hey," she said too cheerfully, clearing her throat, trying to sound casual, failing.

"It's time to go get his statement, I'll meet you there in an hour," he said, matter-of-factly.

"I will see you there," she said, stressing each word more than she meant to before hanging up.

Scully stared again at where Van Blundht had lit a fuse under her perfectly comfortable fortress of denial, glanced to the doorframe where Mulder had seen her through the wreckage.

She grabbed a blazer from the back of a dining chair and headed for the door, feeling different. His voice. He sounded...hurt? Betrayed? It wasn't awkward, it wasn't pity, it was more than that.

He was jealous...of..himself? Of what he could be? Of what... they could be?

She smiled as she touched the splintered wood of her doorframe.

She knew.

My first TXF fic in 23 years! And it felt so good.

[expired-monster-craft-smp]

Vibes Dream SMP members give off (in my opinion)

Dream

Barked at people in high school ironically but it became unironic real quick

Can’t cook very well but is good with a knife, especially at a fast pace

One of those kids who either purposely spells the first word wrong in a spelling bee to just be done with it right away or tries the hardest and manages to win (there is no inbetween for this heathen)

Bites ice cream with his teeth

Has snorted pixie stix far too many times and sneezed blue after each time

Eats bananas with the peels

Wears mismatched socks

Has taken a bite out of a pool noodle because he liked the texture and impulsively bit it (ADHD things✨😌)

Walks around looking extremely high but he’s just spacin out and stuck in his head

Dreams (lmao) in Minecraft and video games in general

Will flirt with anything that moves but has no idea how to respond to compliments

Makes fun of himself first before anyone else can

Has eaten an orange peel and it wasn’t that bad in his humble opinion

Wears khaki shorts

Eats the wax part of the baby bell cheese

Doesn’t actually know what genre his music taste is cause he vibes to everything

Georgenotfound

Picks at the skin on his lip when it’s dry so it bleeds and he tries not to give in by licking his lips often enough to the point where it became a habit

Wears velcro shoes because he doesn’t feel like tying them (he knows how, he just doesn’t wanna do it)

Eats peanut butter straight from the jar

Makes that disgusting “ants on a log” thing (celery stick filled with peanut butter topped with a row of raisins)

Can’t drink milk plain, it’s gotta have some sort of flavour

Can draw a perfect straight line but his circles look Terrible

Eats cheez-its like cereal without milk

Loves making little noises so much like he walks around his house doin chores and he’s just goin “memememenownownwnkwkshskshkshskhs”

Hates wearing socks

Coloured his tongue with highlighters because they’re non-toxic

Constantly tapping his feet and hands to a song/beat playing in his head

I can’t imagine this man using a bike of any sort, so Imma say he doesn’t know how

Can’t be licked by dogs because he’s used to being licked by his cat so it makes him uncomfortable

Can actually sing pretty well but gets real nervous in front of people so he fucks it up

Sapnap

No idea how to cook anything other than Mac and cheese please help this man

Meows at cats because he wants to confuse them and laughs Way too hard when he does (his laugh is like sunshine so I’ll allow it)

Would be fantastic at braiding hair Idk why

Gives the BEST fuckin hugs EVER

When singing, he makes noises for the instrumental parts too

Wanted to play the drums at one point

Really likes pit bulls but he’s more of a cat person so he loves them from afar

Only vaguely knows how to shave his face properly without hurting himself

Opportunities for him come up out of pure luck but mans is skilled for them so it works out well almost Always

Used to or currently has a skateboard and isn’t too bad

ALWAYS has bruises appearing everywhere for no reason, he doesn’t even know where 90% of them are from

Calls his friends twinks to jokingly bully them and gets away with it because he himself is not a twink

Gets sudden bursts of energy in the middle of the night and just shimmies around a bit to try and deal with it

Favours spearmint over peppermint

Arsonist

Banned from three (3) Dave & Busters in Texas

Badboyhalo

Washes his hands after doing literally anything

Likes the bird exhibits at the zoo (specifically the penguins)

Very good at cooking, best at soups and stews

If he painted his nails they would definitely be a baby blue

Overthinks very simple things and it makes him look less smart than he actually is

Drinks tap water

Probably prefers whiskey over beer

Knows how to tap dance a bit

Surprisingly good at taking and handling shots

Steady hands

Adds extra chocolate to hot chocolate

Plays sudoku and is really really good at it (only uses pen when he plays)

Everytime he sees a Himalayan salt lamp he NEEDS to lick it despite knowing it’s very salty and he’ll pull a face afterwards

Not great at Rock Paper Scissors

Wears sunglasses inside for no reason at all, he just,,,Does

Still has a stuffed animal from childhood perched on his bed

Probably tried his hand at archery

Tommyinnit

He has no idea how to use a baby voice on children or animals, so he just talks to them normally

Wears socks to bed

His fingers are double jointed

Always starts twitching if he stays still for too long because he’s gotta move around

His shoes and have different laces and it bothers everyone but himself

Doodles on himself in class when he’s bored or not paying attention

Has really good hearing, both with pitch and volume

Can’t eat tomato’s by themselves, it’s either gotta be in sauce form or with something else

FUCKING LOVES STRING CHEESE

Terrible handwriting

Favourite part of a slice of bread is the crust

Wants to paint his nails black to be cool and edgy but his hands are far from steady and he has no clue how to paint nails

Pretty affectionate with close friends (like Tubbo and Wilbur) off stream/camera

He likes pears for some reason

Wilbur Soot

Is constantly having to decide between leaving his hair as is or shaving all of it off

He also thinks about adding some colour but never actually does

Most tea is gross to him

Everytime he puts a breath mint thats circular in his mouth, he pretends it’s a pill and he’s taking drugs because he thinks that’s funny

He does that vacant state as a joke but that really what he looks like when he’s spacing out

Likes to aggressively flirt with his male friends but if his female friends flirt with him, he gets a bit flustered

Has probably accidentally swallowed a guitar pick

Once drank two entire jars of pickle juice

Bonks his head on anything and everything

He has broken a pair of glasses by walking face first into a pole outside

Thinks kinetic sand is fun

Has passionate arguments with others about trivial and random topics like chicken feet

Can open a beer bottle with his teeth

Would accidentally pop and swallow a bracket if he had braces

Tubbo

Hates sharp cheddar cheese

Everytime he learns a new word it’s in every sentence he says for the next week or so

Ate candle wax for a dare once

Doesn’t know how to tie a tie and will probably never learn

Wanted to do ballet at one point but decided not to

He has eaten multiple flowers for absolutely no reason other than wanting to know how they taste

Starts vibrating if he’s too excited

Used to bite his nails

ABSOLUTELY DESPISES MUSTARD

Has eaten paper and says it doesn’t taste that bad

Enjoys telling his friends how much they mean to him (this has resulted in Tommy and Wilbur crying on a few seperate occasions)

Spaces out a lot and doesn’t often pay attention to his surroundings

Gets lost inside of Best Buy’s

Likes s’mores but doesn’t properly understand how to make them

Technoblade

Learned to cook purely out of spite and found it’s actually pretty fun

Constantly getting smacked in the face by trees when walking outside

Really likes apple pie

Everytime he looks at potatoes he thinks of all the hours he spent trying to win the potato war

Starts things as a joke and gets too into it

Doesn’t like the taste of most energy drinks

Has rubbed salt and lemon juice into an open wound to just,,see how it felt (he did it once and Hated it but did it again because he forgot what it felt like)

Sometimes hates how quiet he is because everyone he knows is loud and talks over him

Despite how he is portrayed in the Dream SMP, he is extremely loyal to his friends and would kill for them

Over seasons his food because he can’t taste it otherwise

Really good balance

Doesn’t like to wear bright colours, but still enjoys wearing colours

Good at knitting

Quackity

Actually fairly quiet when off camera

Will accidentally use Spanish grammar while speaking English sometimes

Country music confuses him

Doesn’t really like kids but they really like him

Can’t dance

Hardest drugs he’s ever done is second hand smoke from a cigarette and children’s Tylenol

His favourite jolly ranchers are the red and blue ones

He uses lighters as fidget toys basically

Will have a breakdown, take a bubble bath, and call himself the self care king

Dehydrated

Wants a pet rat but he already has a cat and doesn’t wanna risk anything

Constantly questions why his main source of income is playing Minecraft with two 16 year olds

Karl Jacobs

Probably ate a spider once

Would wear those socks that are like gloves for you feet where it separates all the toes

Eats ravioli straight from the can, cold

Can answer an incredibly complex math equation fairly easily but will stumble over 12x11

Loves kids so much and speaks to them in a soft voice

Tried making ramen in a coffee pot and broke it

Drinks 2 monster energy drinks a day on average

Likes to open walnuts with his teeth but doesn’t actually eat them

The embodiment of that one John Maulany joke where he says you could spill soup in his lap and HE’D apologize to YOU

Loves physical affection so so much!!!!

If he moves his wrists in a certain way, they pop Really Loudly

Fantastic at making cookies

Fundy

Lowkey actually a furry but more on like, a cat boy level than fursuit level

Drives a Honda Civic

Likes ABBA

Adds parsley to almost anything he makes food-wise

Loves garlic bread so much, he’d commit a federal crime for it

Middle child vibes

Decent at skiing

Good at singing but isn’t terribly confident

Seems responsible at first glance but in reality he’s pretty chaotic and childish

Bad at spelling

Always cuts his nails way too short so they always feel weird/hurt

Likes bracelets and rings

Thinks pastel colours slap

JSchlatt

Despite the character he plays, he’s actually really sweet

He’s genuinely that cryptic off camera as he is on camera

Can cook but chooses not to most of the time

Would probably say “what pussy size you wear” to anyone who asks him to buy pads

Not actually as intimidating as he appears to be

Lowkey would fight a child

Shuts down when someone compliments him, often using aggression as a front because holy shit they just called him handsome and kind what the Fuck-

Jokingly says his license is suspended but in all actuality he never got his license in the first place

He has two (2) extra teeth but they don’t need to be removed so he kept them

Has a stick n poke of a stickman on his ankle he got in high school

Likes physics

This is already very long, and I still plan on adding more.

[t-o-m-hollands]

Summery: Tom is not entirely sure of how it happens. But one moment he’s the gardener of Locksley Hall, and the next he’s run off to marry the lords daughter. A girl he despises.

Well, sort of.

Warnings: Smoking.

A/N: this is (loosely) based on the Locksley Hall poem by Tennyson, but the relationship between them is pretty heavily inspired by Atonement by Ian McEwan (the first part of the book) and the story at large also slightly inspired by Downton Abbey.   Also, I’ve changed the law in this. As I understand it (from watching Downton Abbey) girls could never inherit the estate, no matter if she was married or not. Here you will inherit, but only if you are married and it will then go to your husband. Also, I was listening to Old Money – lana del rey the entire time I was writing this. 

-

Locksley Hall, England – 1920.

It’s June, and Tom finds himself praying for rain.  

It’s one of those summer days when the air stands still. Not a whiff of wind, no breeze in the trees, not a cloud in the sky. Just an ever-pressing, inescapable heat that seems to paint the whole world a hazy golden shade.  

He’s knee-deep in the earth, sweat running down his back, shovelling soil under the merciless sun. It’s midday and the warmth is intolerable. He can already feel the blisters he’ll have on his hands tomorrow. To top it all off his head is pounding and he reminds himself to give Harrison a good kick in the chin the next time he sees him; for convincing him that one more drink wouldn’t hurt.  

And god, he desperately wants a cigarette.  

“God, it’s hot today” Madeleine’s bored voice drifts out the open window. “One can hardly think straight”.

Tom lifts his head and observes her through the glass. The owner of the voice is in the conservatory. Wearing a lace dress and her dark curls perfectly pinned into place. She is primly drinking tea alongside her mother; safely hidden away from the beaming sun.    

He swipes the sweat from his forehead before shovelling the spade further down in the dirt. A sudden urge to throw some of the earth through the conservatory window hits him, just enough to dirty up her white gown. But he resists it. Instead he sits down by the flowerbed and leans his pounding head against the wall. His sore muscles scream in relief. Lighting a cigarette, he then closes his eyes and inhales deeply. The whole world goes white as the sun shines through his closed eyelids and a soft sigh escapes him.  

“Have you received any more letters from Sir Hatfield?” He hears lady Locksley inquire from inside.  

“What, James?”  

“Yes, of course James, has he written you again?”  

“Thankfully not”.  

“Oh, don’t be silly child, he’s the owner of Hatfield house! God knows you could do worse than him” Lady Locksley scolds her oldest daughter. Despite himself Tom’s interest is peaked, so he keeps smoking and listening to the conversation, ignoring his gardening duties.  

“But he’s such a bore” Madeleine whines in response. “Honestly mother, all he ever talks about is hunting. And Hatfield house is a terrible building, you know I can’t stand Tudor architecture. Plus, James is ancient.”  

“Don’t be ridiculous, he’s not ancient, he’s ten years younger than your father.”  

“Exactly, and I’m two-and-twenty years old!”  

“Oh, do be quiet, you’re very lucky he’s shown any interest in you at all. I have talked to your father about this. It’s high time for you to get married. Ever since Francis…” she trails off and Tom knows why. Francis had been her oldest child and only son, the one set to inherit the land and the title. Who had died in the war during the battle of the Somme. Tom had known Francis and had not been fond of him. Upon hearing about his death he’d wondered if the heir had been shot by one of his own, though he did not air this suspicion. Tall and handsome Francis may have had been, but he had also been entitled, rude and unkind to animals. He’d beaten his horses, screamed at the servants and taunted his sisters.    

Lady Locksley continues with a new air of authority in her voice. “It’s more important than ever before that we find you a good match. You know what’s at stake if you don’t marry and marry soon”.    

Silence for a second, and unease is setting like lead in Tom’s stomach. Maybe this isn’t a conversation he should listen in to.  

“Yes, I know.” The words sound heavy and reluctant in Madeleine’s mouth.    

He opens his eyes and discretely as he can he pops his head up to sneak a look through the window. The look on the young heir’s face strikes him. It’s not sad, nor angry or dismayed. It’s apathetic. Like she’s somewhere far, far away.  

“Boy, I thought I told you to start digging!” Bertie Higgins voice booms over the grounds as he crosses the corner of the building and walk towards Tom, who quickly puts out his cigarette.  

An elderly man, with bushy beard and eyebrows, a bit too fond of beer and with fingernails so dirty Tom wonders if they’ve ever been cleaned, walks towards him. Mr. Higgins has worked as the head gardener on the grounds of Locksley Hall for longer than anyone could remember.  

“Sorry Mr. Higgins, I just took a breather” he says before putting out his cigarette and picking up his shovel again. Mr. Higgins observes him for a moment, then he leans in closer and whiffs of the beer the older man had for lunch hits Tom’s face. “Listen, boy” he says in a low voice “no good will come from spying on them gentle folks, hear me? No good will come of it”.

“Mr. Higgins I wasn’t -” Tom begins to defend himself but the gardener pats his shoulder and continuous in his stern voice. “Is no use lyin’ to me, boy, I’m too old, I’ve seen too much. You’ve been sniffin’ after that young heir since you came back. ’s no use lad. Them folks are not for the likes of us, above your station she is, well above your station.” Tom wants to protest. For he has most certainly not been sniffing after anyone, least of all Madeleine Locksley, but Mr. Higgins continues. “Now Alice,” he says and pats his shoulder again “she’s some good maid she is, why not ask her out?”  

Alice was indeed a maid at Locksley Hall. Pretty and always ready for a laugh. She’d made it perfectly clear of her interest in him too. There was however a streak of pettiness to the girl that he wasn’t too fond of, and therefor he’d reclined her thus far. But he doesn’t particularly feel like sharing that with Mr. Higgins.  

“Now boy” Mr. Higgins goes on. “You had your breather, go back to diggin’, if I told you once I told’ you a thousand times, you dig when the sun’s out and the dirt is dry an’ you water when the sun’s gone down”.  

Tom goes back to digging, the sun burning his neck, and his joints already protesting.  

He doesn’t notice Madeleine’s brown eyes observing him from within the conservatory.  

***  

The bathwater has gone cold. Still, she stays in the water. The prospect of putting down her book and getting up and ready for yet another family dinner seems dull at best. The rose-scented cold water feels refreshing against her skin. Today really had been unbearably hot. 

Still the heat lingers in the air.

Outside the bathrooms leaded windows the last rays of daylight are lighting up the grounds. Though the light in the gardener’s cottage is already lit.  

Dropping her copy of Pride & Prejudice to the floor she sinks further down into the water. Leaning her head back against the edge of the tub she closes her eyes and sighs.  

She’d just gotten to the part in the book where Elizabeth refuses Mr. Darcy’s proposal and it had annoyed her. How Elizabeth could refuse Mr. Darcy and all his possessions, and it didn’t lead to despair and desolation for her entire family, instead, as if by the waving of a magic wand, everything worked out beautifully in the end. That wasn’t real life.

Everything was annoying her today. Her mother’s persistent nagging, her father’s detachment, granny’s constant complaining. Tom’s strong arms wielding a shovel. The cotton shirt sticking to his sweaty back, the suspenders holding up his muddy trousers.  

She sinks further down into the cold water.  

Tom had looked annoyed today as well. But then again, he’d seemed permanently aggravated ever since he got back from France, at least in her presence. She’d seen him laugh plenty of times with Harrison from the pub when she visited the village, and with Alice too. He’d even crack a smile from time to time with Mr. Higgins. But her presence always seemed to put a frown on his face.

It had not always been this way.

As children they had played. They had explored the woods like travellers discovering a new world. Had run over the poppy fields pretending they could fly. They’d made it down to the sea and Old Sailor Joe had told them stories of Odysseus, and his long journey home. They’d sneaked out and slept under the stars and he had told her all of what Mr. Higgins had taught him about botany. Of how the things we sow in the ground with time will grow. About which flowers could kill you, and which ones could heal.

They had shared secrets and kept them between themselves, solemnly sworn blood-oaths with all the seriousness of a promise between children. They’d sworn that whatever happened between them stayed that way. That his secrets were hers and she’d keep them to her grave, and likewise for him.

Then she’d been sent away to boarding school and he had gone to the village school and that had been the end of that. During the holidays so much time had seemed to have passed between them that it was hard to pick up the threads of childish games where they’d left them. Then, war had broken out and she’d been sent to live with relatives in Canada, and Tom, well, Tom had joined the army.

Once they’d seen each other again years had passed, and they were strangers to one another.

The last evening light shines over the grounds of Locksley Hall, but Madeleine doesn’t move out of her bath, instead she stares out the window, feeling no motivation to move.  

Everything is fleeting, that was what she kept feeling. The hours, the days, the weeks, the months and years. Time passed her by so rapidly and yet all the days looked the same. She felt like a leaf landing in a river, being swept away with the stream with no control of where it was going or were it’d end up. Soon, she would be married, most likely to dreary James Hatfield, and then they would settle in Hatfield house and she would never spend her days roaming the grounds of Locksley Hall again.

Or maybe, she wouldn’t marry, and upon the death of her father and in the lack of a male heir, all their lands and possessions would go to the crown, and they’d all would be left with nothing.

A scream works itself larger in her throat. It had started earlier that day, with her mother in the conservatory. It would only grow larger, and larger until she wouldn’t be able to hold it in any longer. She knew this much from experience.

It felt like this,

In school they’d been taught about diamonds, about how with heat, pressure, and time diamonds are formed to something so unbreakable and everlasting that only another diamond can cut it. She’d imagined how all the screams she’d held inside, pressed between two lungs, over time created so much pressure that they’d turn her insides into diamonds.

As a child she and Tom had snuck into the library one night. In a book of medical terms they’d found the word autopsy with the description:  “An examination of a body after death to determine the cause of death or the character and extent of changes produced by disease — called also necropsy”. Not understanding much of this they had searched the other medical books until they found a more thorough description of what the word meant.

She had been horrified upon finding the truth in all its bloody glory. How, upon one’s death, a pathologist would cut you open to see what they could find. Painted pictures of the procedure followed, and Madeleine is still certain that the image of a cut open human heart is imprinted on her retinas forever.

She imagined it like this,

When they cut her open they won’t find veins, or blood, or intestines. But instead a cloud of smoke as they’ll tear her up, and inside –

dust. 

And a diamond heart; at the living core of which a handful of secrets shared between children years ago were kept. And the pathologists will look at one another and ask themselves, ‘why did she walk around with a diamond heart for all those years?’ Not realising, that her diamond heart was a perfect symbol of her.

Beautiful and valuable.  

And essentially useless.

The door to the bathroom bursts open, and a very aggravated eleven-year-old girl stands on the threshold. Her cheeks are flushed red, not only from a day spent playing in the sun, but from barely held-back rage.  

“That hag!” she bursts out. Her curly, brown hair a mess, wearing a grass-stained dress. A big hole at the sole her left sock.

Madeleine finally steps out of the cold water, pulls on her robe and turns to Beatrix.

“Beanie darling, you know you can’t call people that. Now, what has happened?”

“She told me I’d only be fit to marry a sailor the way I look! And then she had the nerve to say that I was lacking manners! Just because I told her I’d love to marry a sailor, at least he wouldn’t be such a bore!”

The older sister tries to hold back a smile, not wanting to encourage this kind of behaviour. “Would we perhaps be talking about granny?” she inquires.

“Do we know of anyone else that fit the description absolute hag?” her little sister answers, hand on her hip, clearly still annoyed. “Also, she says I have to change for supper in the nursery, god knows why; I’m hardly trying to impress nanny, and that they are waiting for you downstairs.”

And thus, it is time to face the unavoidable and join the lion’s den. Madeleine steps into her adjoining bedroom to get dressed and Beatrix follows closely behind.

“You’ll never guess who she suggested you should marry” Beatrix continues, amusement in her voice, as she sits down at her sisters dressing table, inspecting the bottles of scent and jars of powder with a bemused look on her young face.

“Was it by any chance James Hatfield?” Madeleine answers as she steps into the blue frock Alice had laid out for her earlier.

Beatrix stares at her sister in incredulity and in a heartbroken voice she wails with disbelief in every syllable,” OH, surely not! Leine, you can’t marry him! You simply can’t!”

Benie and Lenie were the affectionate nicknames the sister had for one another. As a child Beatrix had not been able to say Madeleine, but instead only pronounced the latter part of the name and dragged the vocals out into a ‘leeniee’ every time she called out for her.

“Well, he hasn’t proposed yet, so nothing is set” Madeleine answers while avoiding her sister’s questioning eyes, inspecting her hair in the mirror instead.

“So that’s why they’ll have a ball then, I was wondering what called for such an occasion”. 

“A ball?”

“Yes” Beatrix states, inspecting her own freckled, sunburned face in the mirror. “Mommy told granny that they would have one as soon as possible”.

The scream works itself larger in Madeleine’s lungs.

“Oh, well. It can’t be helped” she says and leads her sister out of the bedroom. “Now, you really do need to change, or nanny will be furious with you, and I’ll have to join them downstairs”.

The bedroom door closes behind them as they leave.

***  

The late evening air is loaded with the scent of rhododendrons. In the trees the nightingales sing, and the summer air feel cool against her bare arms as she steps out into the night.

Carefully, as to not be seen from any of the windows, she makes her way across the garden. It is dark, but on her childhood paths her feet still knows where to tread. She walks past the house, the gigantic rhododendron bush, and along the pathway lined with pink geraniums, down the trail past the summerhouse by the lake and further still until she arrives at the fountain by the labyrinth. The deep green hedges are lined with powder pink hydrangeas, blue hyacinths and cardinal red peonies. In the middle of it a square with a fountain. And if you look past that, the entrance to the labyrinth itself. 

If she had walked further still, away from the labyrinth, she’d come to a wide field of poppies. Had she, instead of walking north from the house, walked west she would have ended up by the sea, and the cliffs and Locksley Bay. East of the house laid the road to the village, and then the road to town. South of the manor the forest grew.  

She doesn’t go through the entrance of the labyrinth but sits down by the edge of the fountain. From her pocket she picks up a package of Woodbine cigarettes, but when she goes to light it, the lighter only flickers.

“Need a light?”

She nearly falls into the fountain, taken by surprise by the familiar voice. Tom laughs and walks out of the shadows. Hands in pockets and hair a wild mess.  

“Wanker!” she burst out, heart beating painfully hard in her chest.

“Now, now, where did you learn a word like that?”

He’s so smug, and it’s making her skin crawl with anger. She ignores his question and ask, “did you follow me here?”

He moves closer still, until he’s right in front of her. Then he takes out his lighter. She puts the cigarette in her mouth and he lights it for her.

“No” he answers eventually. “Was just finishing up watering the peonies.”

“You water the peonies in the middle of the night?”

He lights a cigarette for himself and blows out pearl white smoke into the summer night before he answers. “Yeah, as Mr. Higgins keeps telling me. You dig when the soil is dry, otherwise you’ll shovel mud, and you water the plants when the sun’s gone down and the soil is cool, or you’ll just end up boiling the poor things”.

She looks at him, really looks at him; while he’s busy looking up at the moon. His white cotton shirt is filled with stains of earth and his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, a worn linen jacket thrown over his shoulder. Worn suspender holds up his muddy pants. His brown locks frame his face perfectly and in the moonlight his skin, tanned from working out all day, seems to almost radiate. He looks positively angelical. A sudden urge to pull her fingers through his hair overwhelms her. 

She looks away.

The nightingales sing louder than ever in the silence, as do the buzzing insects. Somewhere in the far distance a fox screech.

“You know” he says, sitting down on the bench opposite the fountain, leaning back he spreads out into a relaxed position. “Whenever I hear a vixen’s cry I think about Gideon’s ghost.”

“Well, you are the inhabitant of Gideon’s cottage”.

When, or indeed why, the gardener’s cottage on Locksley Hall had been baptised Gideon’s cottage no one seemed to know. Not even Old Sailor Joe, and rumour has it he’d been guarding the boats in Locksley Bay since the first wave crashed against its shore.

But the gardener of Locksley Hall had, for as long as anyone could remember, lived in Gideon’s cottage.

As a child her older brother had frightened her with tales of Gideon’s ghost, and how he still roamed the grounds of the manor, still volatile over long forgotten quarrels. When ever she’d hear a fox’s cry at night, as they laid tucked up in their shared nursery, he’d told her it was the ghost of Gideon, seeking out small girls to take out his revenge on. She had been terrified.

When she’d told this to Tom he had lost his temper with her brother, the two had never gotten along, and he’d taken the older boy to the ground, punching him with his small fists until a furious Bertie Higgins, who’d seen the quarrel from across the yard, had pulled him off him. Madeleine knew Tom had gotten a trashing from Mr. Higgins for the attack and a stern telling off from her father.

“I love that old cottage” he says with a found smile on his face, blowing out more smoke into the air between them. “But I’m yet to see his ghost. ’s a shame really, would have asked if the legend was true about gold being buried at the cliffs of Locksley Bay”.

She smiles, and the nightingales keeps on singing. The scent of peonies and hyacinths is heavy in the air, despite the smoke.  

Tom observing her with an intensity that unnerves her, so she turns away from him to look down into the fountain. Slowly she lowers her hand into the cold water and she watches as the goldfish swim around her.

“Why are you out here smoking at night?” he asks, and she turns to back to look at him, pulling her hand out of the water. He’s still observing her, and she feels almost naked under his glance, despite the silk gown she’s still wearing from dinner. It makes her nervous when he looks at her like that, because underneath their easy tones of conversation, she’s not actually sure he likes her all that much. She shivers, goosebumps all over her naked arms.  

“Here” he says and throws her his jacket. She utters a thank you and pulls it on. It smells of earth and smoke, and fresh cut grass. It smells like him and her diamond heart beat harder in her chest.

“Papa doesn’t like me smoking in the house.” She answers in the end.  

In fact, her father was against her smoking at all. It was a habit that had begun at Talbot Heath boarding school. Smoking with the other girls behind the gymnasium. They’d practised smoking without coughing, feeling mighty smug when they succeeded.

But smoking was, as it had been pointed out to her by her father, ‘not a dignified habit for a woman of her class to partake in’. When she’d gotten back from Canada after the war they’d have words about the subject. In the end the general agreement was that she did not smoke in the house, or amongst other people. She didn’t always follow these rules. There were days when all she did was sit in her bathroom, smoke cigarette after cigarette and read books. A part of her wanted to walk around the house and leave a trace of smoke in every room. Like a ghost, reminding them that she is still there. But a deeply rooted respect, verging on fear, of her father has always kept her from doing such a thing.

Tom hums in reply, that smug smile on his face again. “And what’s dear papa to say about this then? Hmm?” He nods at her, sitting just a meter away from him, wearing his jacket. “Princess sneaking out at night to share a smoke with the gardener?”

“Oh, do shut up”.  

“You know you really have improved your vocabulary since we last spoke” he replies dryly, “must be all that reading”.

“How do you know I read so much”.

And maybe it’s a trick of the moonlight, but she swears he blushes, his cheek the colour of peonies. “I can see the light in your window from my cottage at night”.

“Oh, and you’re keeping tabs on me? How sweet!” You reply in a mocking tone, grateful that you get the chance to be smug for once.

“Well, it’s hard not to notice it” the annoyance is clear in his voice. Then he changes the subject. “What are you reading so late at night anyway?”

“At the moment, Tennyson”.

He groans, “of course you like Tennyson” he scoffs, puts out his cigarette and lights a new one, offering her one as well, which she accepts.

“What’s wrong with Tennyson?” She asks, indignant.  

“Nothing I guess” he responds, “unless you’d like to read about things other than knights and fair maidens”  

“He did not only write about knights and fair maidens!” She defends fiercely. “He wrote about love and loss and death and privilege and -”  

“Oh, he wrote about privilege, did he! Well, you know all about that, don’t you? Little miss ivory tower”.

“And what do you read then? What is so good it makes Tennyson look foolish to you?” She tries to keep her annoyance out of her voice, but its difficult, especially when he looks at her like that. Like he finds her laughable.  

“Recently? Mostly Gorky.”

“You always did prefer your literature Russian. You’re politics too if Alice is to be believed.”  

He smiles, a little less condescending this time, “and you always loved your poetry, and no, she isn’t”.

“You must like some of the poets, surely?”  

“I’m rather fond of Shelley, actually”

“And the sunlight clasps the earth, and the moonbeams kiss the sea:  what is all this sweet work worth, if thou kiss not me?” she quotes, not considering the implication of her words until they’ve already left her mouth. It had always been her favourite poem, and the words fell from her lips so effortlessly. But the intensity in his eyes as he observers her seem to change the very air around them. It is as though the whole world stills, if only for a moment. Like the nightingales and the foxes and the crickets all have heard her, and quieted down, in suspense over what’s to happen next.

He stands up and puts out his cigarette. Looking away from her he suggests, “we should head back, it’s late. I’ll walk you”. So, she puts out hers as well and follows him, and in silence they head back to the manor house, each avoiding the others eyes.  

She pulls his jacket closer to her.  

Then, he stops in his tracks. “Look,” he says and points up at the night sky “Andromeda burns bright tonight”.  

Already as a child he’d been good at recognising the constellations. Many a night they had sneaked out and wandered off to the poppy fields where they’d laid down their heads, and he had pointed up to the sky, just as he was doing now, and taught her to read them.  

“Andromeda, who was tied to the rocks, to be eaten by the sea monster Cetus?”

He nods, but doesn’t look away from the sky, “but Perseus rescued her”.

“And you criticised Tennyson for writing about knights and maidens” she teases.

He looks down at her then, a smile tugging the corners of his lips. They start walking again, his hands in his pockets, looking at the road ahead.  

“So, what did your dear Tennyson write about privilege?”  

“That opportunities are only given to those with riches already” she answers, and then she quotes, “every door is barr’d with gold, and opens but to golden keys.”

Tom is silence for a moment. They’re nearing the end of the road; they’re by the rhododendron bush, and they’ve reached the points were they have to walk their separate ways.  

She removes his jacket and hands it to him.  

“Keep it, for now. You can give it back later, you’ll freeze.”

“No” she argues. “No, Alice will see it and wonder”.

He doesn’t argue with her on that point but takes the jacket from her outstretched hand. “Well” he says, awkwardly. “See you around, Lady Madeleine”.  

They part ways.  

***

FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED

(A/N: I’m reposting this because the first time i posted it didn’t show up in the tags and it had like 3 notes)

Taglist: @londonmademedoit  @isthataladybag   @ceexreverse  @daygiowvibe @averyfosterthoughts @applenter @viwihere @youcompletemess @marvelpeters @youngsenpaibaby @duskholland @vanillanestor​ @panicattheeverywherekid​ @starrycigarettes​ @primadonnasdream​

[denkimystery]

Denki Mystery Series - 1st Episode: 『Six Men Getting Sick』

ー Midorito House, Eve of the Jyushimatsu Festival

A Voice: ... Come to think of it, the owner of my cab company… I wonder if he’s one of those people who's into the occult?

Ozo: I only come to the office sometimes. And whenever I’m there that’s all we talk about.

Ozo: Like, strange stories of this area? I’ve heard a lot about that too. I've heard it all from that person.

Takashi: Ah! I know who you’re talking about. He came to my store, too. He kept chattering on and on about how I should get out of this place before I am unable to leave, and then he just left.

Hajime: Wow. Is that person a local from here?

Ozo: No, it's nothing like that. I heard that he came here a long time ago, and then he was given the job and entrusted with the company. You're very curious, aren't you.

Karatsugu: I wonder what he was doing before that. He’s not from around here, but he knows a lot about it, right? The stories of this place, I mean.

Ozo: Come to think of it, people wouldn't talk so openly about that kind of stuff if they were from here. I wouldn't ask or deny it, though.

Ozo: He said I drive too rough, so he started calling me “Cowboy”.

Toshio: You sound like a villainous pro wrestler. It’s kinda cool.

Ozo: Right? But I'm not that buff! … Phew, that was a nice time. It's been about half an hour since we got back from the factory?

Ozo pops open a beer. The sound of the fizz is replaced by the sounds of him gulping his drink.

Chorosuke: It’s a bit late, but we've prepared a midnight snack.

Ozo: Whaaat, I didn't think the Master was here, but he cooked for me? That's very kind of you.

Takashi: Let me help, Chorosuke-san.

[[Takashi gets up to help Chorosuke set the food down.]]

Takashi: Wah, this looks so good.

Ozo: Ahhh! I'm so hungry!! … Ah, can you let me borrow your phone before we start?

Chorosuke: Sure, be my guest. … Dayoko, escort him please.

[[Ozo follows Dayoko out of the room.]]

Toshio: You have some for me too? Wah... It's mushroom soup! Looks good.

Chorosuke: Everyone, you must be hungry. After you eat, let's rest for today. We still have tomorrow.

[[Ozo comes back to the room.]]

Ozo: Thanks for letting me call. It was the president. I told him I was sick.

Ozo: Since we have a private gathering tomorrow, I told him I was gonna stay up and he replied with a resounding OK. Heheh!

Ozo: If it had been the old lady in the office, she would have told me to go home for sure!

Takashi: That’s the normal reaction. I think you're being underestimated by your president.

Karatsugu: Well, let's eat before it gets cold. Thanks for the food.

Toshio: Thanks for the fooood!

[[Toshio shoves a spoonful into his mouth, chewing eagerly. Everyone else follows suit.]]

Hajime: These mushrooms are delicious.

Chorosuke: These are the mushrooms that my student grew. He often gives me some, they are very fragrant and delicious.

Toshio: Are there other ways to eat it other than miso soup?

Chorosuke: You can also roast it, it’d still be delicious.

「Thank you for the meal.」 Everyone says when they’re finished.

Chorosuke: Did you all like it? Then, let's brew some tea. ... Dayoko, your big bwother*** will also help.

[[Chorosuke leaves the room.]]

Takashi: … Huh?

[[Takashi’s gaze is pointed down. Staring at something.]]

Takashi: ……. Jyushimatsu-niisan, why are you buried in the ground. Heyyy… Ah, another Jyushimatsu-niisan.

[[Hajime looks at where Takashi was looking at. There’s nothing but the floor.]]

Hajime: Ta-Takashi-kun? What’s wrong? … Are you ok!?

[[Meanwhile.]]

Ozo: … Hm? When did I get back to the car?

[[Ozo notices he’s not alone, looking into his rearview mirror he sees someone on the passenger’s seat.]]

Ozo: Customer-san, why are you wearing a paper bag?

Ozo: … Hie! [Ozo flinches as the customer removes his paper bag.]

Ozo: … You look just like me…!?

[[Toshio seems to be struggling.]]

Toshio: Uwah! What’s this thing in front of me! ... A big dog!

Chorosuke: Dayoko! I won’t hand Dayoko over to you!! Dayoko!? Where-? Dayoko?

Karatsugu: ... huh. I feel like my back is…

[[Karatsugu focuses on the feeling in his back before realizing that it’s sharp and he’s in deep pain.]]

Karatsugu: … W-Waaah!! I-I’ve been stabbed! I’m dead! I’m cuuursed!

Hajime: Eh... Where am I?

[[Hajime looks around.]]

Hajime: It’s pitch black.

Hajime: H-HIEEEEEEE!!! [[All of a sudden Hajime screams. Thrashing and flinging.]]

Hajime: H-Help meeee!!! SOMEBODY, HELP ME!

Takashi: Waaaaaah…!! … Huh. What was that?

Ozo: Wah! What the-? A-are these mushrooms safe to eat!? I just had a scary dream!****

Chorosuke: Huh? What’s the matter? Nothing happened to me, I’m fine. Here, have some tea.

[[Chorosuke starts pouring tea.]]

Toshio: I'm fine too.

[[Toshio starts munching on some of the snacks Chorosuke offered with the tea.]]

Toshio: Delicious! Where did you get these snacks?

Ozo: Eh ~ !? You're always eating them, so you've built up a tolerance? I don't remember it clearly, but I was really scared!

Toshio: Aah! Are you okay, Karamatsu-niisan? The corner of the desk is digging into your back.

Karatsugu: Eh!? The corner of the table? … Ah, thank goodness. I thought I was stabbed in the back…

Hajime: Haa~. [[Hajime releases a sigh he’s been holding.]]

Hajime: …. What was that. Just now. I’m not immune to these mushrooms… What did I just see…? Th-That was scary.

Toshio: Aaaa, that was delicious. … Well, I’m going home now. I’ll see you all tomorrow. My big brothers and Todomatsu!

Takashi: I'm getting a little used to it. That “Todomatsu”. Jyushimatsu-niisan.

Ozo: You live on the other side of the mountain, right? Why don't you just stay the night? Or, do you want me to drive you home?

Toshio: The roads are dangerous at night. I can take a shortcut.

[[Toshio stands up quickly in one fell swoop.]]

Toshio: Nanna is waiting for me.

Chorosuke: Here you go. Didn’t something break just earlier?

Toshio: Thank you, Choroma- Chorosuke-san. Todomatsu, my bigger brothers. Good night!

Thump, thump... Rustle, rustle, rustle. [[Toshio takes off running, his footsteps landing heavy on the dirt path. Soon after he runs through the bushes and into the forest.]]

Takashi: Ah…! He jumped into the bushes. I-I hope he’s ok.

Chorosuke: Ogami’s fine. Oh, and he’s always running around in the mountains.

[[Dayoko walks in to tell Chorosuke something.]]

Chorosuke: Hm, what. … Aah. Thank you, Dayoko. Everyone. The bath is ready. Please, help yourselves.

Ozo: Ah~, I'm going to catch my breath ‘cause my eyes are getting tired*****!

Chorosuke: Eh!?

Ozo: If we're going to talk about scary stories, how about we tell a “Hundred Stories” while drinking?

Chorosuke: Can you stop doing that I don’t want to get in trouble if something weird happens!?

ーThe Endー

Original Event

Summer Arc: 1 | 2 | 3

Mod Note: This came from the Stories that came with the Akatsuka Mansion Attraction from Trashneyland. All 4 and 3 star attractions have 3 stories, often related to the theme of the building. (ex. Akatsuka Mansion has 3 stories related to Denki Mystery. Geruge Castle also has 3 stories related to the Geruge Set).

The original title is 二豎(にじゆ)と六人の男 (lit. The Evil Spirits of Illness and the Six Men). *Nijiyu (二豎) is a term that originated from the legends of Zheng Chenggong. Unfortunately it’s all in Chinese and I’m already at my wit’s end so I can’t give you an exact origin lmao. I’m not sure what exactly happened but there’s this Duke who was cursed to not be able to eat anything new. He is feeling ill, he dreams of his illness and the doctor says that the illness can’t be healed because the cause is somewhere even his medicine can’t reach. That’s my rough understanding of what happened. Anw, that illness became known as the Nijiyu. Edit: I looked up David Finch's filmography again and turns out that the original title is referencing his 1967 work "Six Men Getting Sick (Six Times)". I've changed the title to make more sense to English readers, but I've kept the original title in the mod notes. If the stage names are references to David Lynch's movies then the story names are references to David Lynch's short films. And unlike the stage names, the titles of each story is relevant to what happens in the story.

*** Chorosuke uses Anii-chama again. Which is a cutesy way of saying bigger brother: Nii-san > Nii-sama > Anii-chama. He’s acting like a sis-con btw.

**** If you haven’t noticed, their mushroom trip is based on their original attack sprites. Ozo’s hallucination is a combination of his (Taxi + Passenger) and Toshio (Removing Mask)’s attacks. Karatsugu, Hajime and Takashi are slightly different from their original attack sprites (Karatsugu doesn’t write a dying message, Hajime doesn’t wield an axe and bolo, Takashi isn’t screaming). Chorosuke and Toshio’s hallucinations are original. Chorosuke is hallucinating about Dayoko being taken away and Toshio’s hallucinations involve a big dog, most likely the Inugami Youkai.

*****I think the original text is an idiom? I don’t know what it exactly means though so I did my best approx.

[slashscowboyboots]

The Blackboard Jungle: Amarillo by Morning (Part 2)

Part 1

I think I can get all of this out by Christmas (if my Internet doesn’t take a shit like it has the last two days).  Thank you for your great feedback

Tag list @izzysdenimjacket​ @no-stone-no-bone​ @sexcoffeeandrockandroll @awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands ​ @smokeandmirrorz ​ @sodalitefully ​ @roger-taylors-car ​ @harley-m-rose ​ @whisperess33 ​ @shawolat​ ​ @80snikki @rumoured-whispers

Warnings: asshole alert, more stuff coming out of the kids, fanfic smut.  All credit to the songwriters and I hope Ian Ziering is having a good time wherever he is

“Is tonight the night?” you wondered, glancing at your hair and smoothing your dress in the mirror.  You were getting ready to go out on a date tonight, possibly with your soulmate.  Someone named Ian Ziering.

No, not the actor.  He was actually a friend of yours, since you’d contacted him on Facebook, dming him a photo of your arm and asking if he had a tattoo of your name.  He sent back a picture of “Hortensia” boldly inked between his shoulder blades and the two of you commiserated for hours.

Eventually, though, love struck.  Ian invited you to be his guest at his latest “Sharknado” premiere, and you ended up seated next to a stunningly pretty actress carrying a flask in her purse, and as the two of you imbibed, she spilled the tea on everyone in Hollywood, delicious and hot and fresh.  

More than a little drunk, you asked her what her soulmate mark was, and she pulled her dress up her thigh to reveal the initials “I. A. Z.,” which made you collapse into stupefied giggles.

“Heeeeyyyy, Sia,” you slurred, snickering loud enough people turned around and stared, “heeeeyy, you gotta meet my friend.”

Ian had Facetimed you, saying that someone had reached out to him saying that he had the same name as him, although he wasn’t a member of Ian’s family.  When he realized this Ian only lived an hour from you, he immediately got in touch.

“Maybe he’s the one,” he said, hope visible in his icy blue eyes.  “Do you want me to set you up with him?”

“Sure,” you replied.  It was completely pointless to carry a torch for Jeff Isbell, his initials didn’t match up with your marking, although he was completely under your skin.  He’d bought you two cases of paste, as well as a sour cherry scone from the bakery across from the school, and because his room was next to yours, you frequently consolidated your classes, often with eye-opening results.

“Miss Teacher,” one of his students said, and you bent down to her.  “I gotta birfmark.”  She removed her shoe, then yanked her sock off and held out her right foot, proudly displaying the TAD decorating the top of it.

“Oh, you said, squatting next to her, “T. A. D.”

She drew her head back, her tiny face creasing in disgust at your horrifying ignorance.  “No, that’s Tad, Miss Teacher.  I can read, you know.”

You were immediately apologetic.  “Oh, yes, of course, um-?”

“Mari,” Jeff gently provided.

“Did you call me?” one of your pupils asked, and you looked into Tad Wilson’s huge brown eyes.

“Uh, no, honey, I didn’t,” and before you could say anything else, Mari lunged her still naked foot at him.

“I got your name on my foot,” she said.  “It’s a birfmark.  You got one?”

Tad blinked at her, then yanked up his shirt.  Over his heart was a small but intricate swallowtail butterfly.

Jeff gasped.  “It-no, it can’t be.  That’s unbelievable.”

You looked at him, his face visibly paler and his eyes enormous.  “What’s unbelievable?”

“Her name-her name is Mariposa.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not.”

“That’s me,” Mari giggled, touching the butterfly and making Tad blush.  “Can I hug you?”

He pulled his shirt down and held out his arms.  “Sure.”  They pulled each other into a sweet embrace, and Jeff sat down at his desk and rubbed his hands against his face.

“That would’ve made my life easier,” he muttered.

You watched the two kids giggle and twirl each other around, your heart aching at how adorable and lucky they were, and asked, “You haven’t met your soulmate yet, Mr. Isbell?”

“No, and I probably never will.”

“Why?” you asked, curious.

He looked up at you, and his eyes were so tired, you could have cried for him.  “It’s not a picture, or initials, or even a name.  At least I don’t think it’s a name.”  He dug a palm into his left eye, then sighed.  “Uh, have you found yours?”

“No,” you said quietly.  

“What did you end up with?”

“Uh, initials.   They aren’t common.”  You looked away, feeling a lump aching in your throat.  “I-I have a date tonight, though.”

Jeff jerked his head up, then set his mouth in a thin line.  “Hey, that’s great.  Good luck.”

He’s not who I want, though, you thought, and before you could say that out loud, Tad threw Mari on the ground and ran to you.

“OW!” she howled, holding her head.  “Mr. Isbell, he hurt me!”

“Miss Teacher,” Tad gasped, holding his rear, “I need to poop!”

“Go, go!” you said, escorting him to the toilet in the back of the room.  When he shut the door, you gave the thumbs up to Jeff, who nodded, his eyes still heartbreakingly sad.

You’d agreed to meet Ian at an upscale restaurant halfway between your locations, and when you arrived at Sur La Table, he was nowhere to be found.  

“Reservation for Ziering,” you said to the hostess, and she guided you back to a private table.

After you were seated, you checked your phone to see if he’d sent you any texts saying he’d be late.  He hadn’t.

He was attractive, not as Jeff but not bad, you thought, scrolling through your very limited correspondences and sighing as you thought, Maybe this is what’s meant to be.  You took another drink of water, and another, and after three glasses of it you were ready to leave when he flopped down in front of you.

“Hey, babe,” he said, throwing you a wink and aiming finger guns at you.

“Um, hello, Ian,” you said politely, noticing a lack of apology for his lateness.  “Did you get held up at work?”

He took a long drink of water, then snapped his fingers at your server.  “I need a beer, toots, like now,” he said to her.  “Chop chop.”  He rolled his eyes. “Stupid college kids.  No, I found this new filter on Snapchat and I was really feeling it, y’know.  Sent it to a couple of my honeys.”

“Did you now?” you asked, ice creeping into your voice.

He threw his arm over the back of his chair.  “Yeah, I mean, my hair looked good today, so why waste it?”

On what? you thought irritably, as your server sat his beer down.

Ian grabbed her arm.  “I’d like the filet, well done.  You got ketchup here?” he asked, and you bit back a wince at what he planned on doing to such a nice cut of steak.  He handed the menu back to her, then snatched yours out of your hands.  “She’ll have salad, no croutons, no dressing.”

“I beg your pardon?” you snapped.

“Can”t have you porking up if you’re my soulmate. I need you to eat quick, too, hun, I gotta ‘Stop the Steal’ meeting starting in 20 minutes.  My man Trump was robbed.”

You stood up so fast, your chair nearly tipped over behind you.  “I think I’m done here,” you announced, throwing an arm in your jacket.

“Un uh, I ain’t getting stuck with the bill!” he hissed, standing up as well.  “You make all the money, you’re supposed to pay for this.”

Although it pained you to remain in his presence, you had to ask, “Ian, just what exactly was your soulmate tattoo?”  

Heart pounding and terrified you’d find your own initials, you watched him pull his shirt sleeve up and reveal a cat on his inner forearm.  “It’s pussy,” he smirked.  “I get all the snatch I want.” 

“Good luck with that,” you said, already heading towards the door.  Before you left, you stopped your server and handed her two 20 dollar bills.  “Please cancel our order.  And I’m sorry he was such a prick.”

“No shit?” Ian asked, his mouth hanging open as he held his phone.

“What an asshole,” Sia said.  “Did you hit him in the balls?”

“Now, love,” Ian said, shaking his head, “violence is never the answer.”

She shrugged, flicking her dark hair back.  “I guess you’re right.  So did you key his car?”

“No, Sia,” you sighed.  “I think I’m going to take a hot bath and try to forget today.”

“That sounds good Sis,” she replied.  “I think I’m going to flood his email with VD and ED ads.  Goodnight, honey.”

“I love this woman,” Ian said, grinning as he pecked her on the cheek.  “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Mmm, Blaze, that was incredible.”

“You were like a tornado.  I’ve never been with a woman who had so much passion.  You nearly made me pass out.”  Blaze’s eyes crinkled at the corners.  “That was like angry sex.  Are you mad at me?”

You chuckled.  “No, my handsome cowboy.  I’ll never be mad at you. I-” you wanted to tell Blaze you loved him, that you hadn’t thought about anyone but him since you first laid eyes on him at the faculty meeting rodeo.  

But Blaze was heading to Amarillo in the morning, up from your San Antone home.  He’d only be wearing everything he owned, and your heart ached to watch him leave.  It was heartbreaking that love wasn’t enough to keep the two of you together, that an unseen hand controlling the universe opted to keep the two of you apart.

He turned over, his large hand caressing your face, his greenish eyes questioning. “I what, baby?”

You threw the covers off of you and trotted over to your gun safe.  “I want to target practice.”

After lining up a row of cantaloupes and pumpkins, you neatly dispatched them one by one, thinking about jerks, feeling the bullets leaving the chamber with a scream and watching the fruit blow apart with a happy thrill.

“Well, that was terrifying,” Blaze drawled in his midwestern twang.

You opened the pistol, barrel still smoking, and said, “Little sister don’t miss when she aims her gun.”

[kickingitwithkirk]

The Coupon Book Of Love

Summary: Dean and Y/N have a falling out during a hunt and return not speaking. This upsets Jack who decides to help fix their relationship.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader, Confused Jack Kline, Mentions of Sam and Cas

A/N: for @winchester-fantasies  #winchesterfantasies1000followerschallenge.

Word Count: 2623

Warnings:  fluff, some arguments, ogling of m/f body, necking, mild language, implied sex

Prompt: 10. “I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with.” 

A/N: This is my first attempt at writing fluff so hopefully it doesn’t suck and there was to be coupon photos included but I couldn’t get them the right size and had to delete.

*No beta, all mistakes are mine

*****

Jack Kline was sad. 

Dean and Y/N had returned from a hunt not speaking to each other. This was not completely abnormal for them. Their relationship is one of extreme passions, running hot or cold depending on the day.

It was when Y/N moved back into her old room and Dean started drinking all the whiskey in the bunker they all knew something very bad had happened. Sam tried to find out what had happened but all he could get out of either of them was ask Dean or ask Y/N. 

After Sam retired for the night, Jack went to his father Castiel and asked why do people who are in love like Y/N and Dean hurt each other? 

He said that human love is complicated and had no definitive answer.

Jack could not let them go on like this. Y/N was perfect for Dean, she could help with his highs and lows, make him smile when he was in one of his dark moods and had an off kilter sense of humor that matched his.

So Jack turned to the internet looking for the answer. 

He found all sorts of sites with recommendations how to: repair relationships, muddle through misunderstandings, blogs from magazines like Cosmo on how to fix things with your significant other, spice up your love life, even watching Dr. Phil on YouTube.

But most of the advice given was about vocalizing thoughts and feelings and Dean doesn’t do those things.

Jack starts thinking when they return from a hunt Y/N will say to Dean, “I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with.”  Dean’s eyes always lit up like the displays at Christmas when Y/N asks him for a cuddle. Which is weird because Dean is vocal that he doesn’t cuddle.

Sam teases Dean that Y/N’s secret code for nookie didn’t fool anyone. Dean tells him to shut up while smiling.

Jack shakes his head, is cuddle and nookie the same or are they different things...humans are very confusing.

He’s about ready to quit when he notices a tab for Pinterest that wasn’t closed yesterday and clicks on it. There were a few boards; cooking, pies, vintage cars, pinup girls.

Unlike what Sam is always saying, Dean does use the internet for more than watching porn. 

Jack scrolls around for a while looking at other pins when he sees something. Tapping on the photo he reads the description. He likes the idea presented but it’s not quite right for Dean and Y/N...

...so he comes up with his own plan.

******

The Next Morning

Dean staggers into the kitchen looking for coffee. Lots of coffee after another night spent with Jack, Jim and some wild turkey. Going over to the pot he wonders why Sam hadn't made it after his morning run like usual. Dean sees a piece of paper taped to it with a typed message.

Please go to the library ASAP.

Dean ponders the note while the coffee is brewing and grudgingly heads there after pouring a mug. He is surprised to see Y/N standing by the table looking as tired as he felt. Then he notices a paper in her hand. “Got one too?” He asks, slowly moving to the other side, the table separating them. 

She nods once in acknowledgment.

On the table between them is a letter and two small boxes with their names written on them. Dean slides the letter towards him and reads it out loud.

Dear Dean and Y/N,

I don’t like it when you fight, it makes me sad. You're treating your love as something disposable. I want you to be happy like before and since both of you are stubborn so I’ve come up with a way to help. 

Each box possesses a specifically tailored coupon for each of you with extra, individual instructions accompanying it and must be completed together once a day in order. 

Sam, Cas and I are on a hunt so you have the bunker to yourselves. Have fun.

PS: No peeking ahead-this means you Dean. 

*****

CAR WASH

I can't believe I agreed to do this repeatedly going through Dean's head as he entered the garage after they had opened the boxes and shared their first coupons.

He’s grabbing the paraphernalia kept there for bathing his Baby when Y/N walks in wearing...oh crap...that button down plaid shirt tied up under her bust and those cutoffs made from an old pair of jeans of his that hug her curves just right.

Okay, if that’s how she want to play…game on baby.

Dean hands her a sudsy bucket giving her the look. Y/N blinks perplexed as he walks over turning on the faucet and starts wetting down the Impala. 

She pulls out the sponge and starts soaping down the passenger side as Dean works on the drivers side. They watch each other, quickly looking away when caught.

By the time they meet at the trunk they're both wet, Dean’s t-shirts clinging, accentuating his torso and his jeans have molded to his bowed legs and scrumptious bum. Y/N abruptly hurries to the front of the car.

Dean, smirking to himself, makes the mistake of looking up through the windows. He can see Y/N stretching over the hood as far as she can reach, water and bubbles sliding over the slope of her breasts, nipples pebbled up under the material.

She bends down in front and he quietly steps to his right looking down the side of the car and can see her pert rear swaying in the air as she's scrubbing the grill. Dean reaches over the top of his jeans, pushing down his harding length.

“Okay, she's clean enough, I'll finish up here.” Dean gruffly states. Y/N pops up confused, “Um, are you sure, we haven't waxed yet.” 

Dean feels himself flushing, that’s the last thing he needs right now is Y/N’s breasts bouncing as she's vigorously buffing his...car. “I forgot to get a new can, we’ll do it later.”

“I’ll go get cleaned up and meet you back here in an hour for the next part.” Y/N says as she leaves the garage hips swaying as she walks up the steps. 

“Good thing were not leaving right away.” Dean mutters to himself grimacing at how his wet jeans have become way too constricting.

~~~~

Y/N slid the prepacked basket onto the trunk and shut it, hearing Dean come to a sudden halt and peered over the roof at him, taking in his flushed expression.

“Something wrong?” She inquires.

“I.. uh..I haven't seen you in that in a long time.” Dean stammers out awestruck waving his hand at Y/N’s appearance. Her hairs pinned up in loose waves and dressed in the tea length, off the shoulder summer dress he loves on her.

“Not the most practical thing to wear when chopping off a vamps head.” She quips.

“So, where are we going?” Dean asks, pulling the key out of his pocket.

“I’m to drive us...” she starts, “Nope, not happening sweetheart.” Dean steely interrupts. 

Sighing Y/N walks over, “My instructions say I'm to drive to a predetermined location and I can't tell you where it is so I need the keys,” holding her hand out, “Please.”

Dean clenched his jaw reluctantly handing her the keys and got in the passenger side.

They drove for about an half hour, Dean glaring out the front window the entire time. Y/N turned onto a tree lined gravel road going a quarter mile before stopping. They sit in silence gazing out the front window astounded.

In front of them is an abundantly flowering meadow surrounding a small, private lake. 

Jack couldn't have picked out a more perfect place.

“Sooo...what are we supposed to be doing?” 

Y/N hands him the coupon reading…

ROMANTIC PICNIC

*****          

MOVIE NIGHT                 

Y/N enters the Dean Cave not surprised Dean’s already settled in one of the recliners with pizza, popcorn and various other snacks spread out and a twelve pack Margiekugel cooling in the iced tub between the chairs.

They had spent the day doing various choirs separately around the bunker to give each other some space after yesterday. Y/N admitted to intentionally teasing Dean while washing the Impala and vice versa. During their picnic, something neither of them would ever normally do, they had fun together.

Dean seemed to be enjoying spending time together like they haven’t had much of lately but when they got back he decided to go out for a few cold ones instead of spending the evening in and pissing off Y/N.

“Ready for a marathon of The Man with No Name sweetheart?” Dean smugly asks trying to get a rise out of her. Y/N’s grabs some pizza and settling in the other chair takes a big bite of the meat lovers slice and chews slowly. Dean stares wondering why she hasn’t reacted, well aware Eastwood is not a favorite of hers.

Y/N finishes chewing, fishes a beer out of the tub opening it and after taking a long draw finally glances at Dean and flashes her coupon.

CONTROL OF THE REMOTE

“Sonovabitch,” Dean spits out, sinking in the chair cause knowing Y/N she’ll pick some long-ass, drawn out British dramedy that Sam’s the only one willing to watch with her, “I'm gonna get that Nephilim for this,” he pouts but will never admit he’s actually pouts.

A saccharin smile crosses Y/N’s lips as she takes the remote from him and brings up the menu to select a movie. Dean kills the beer in his hand and grabs another as she continues searching, occasionally clicking on one before going back undecided.

“Will you just pick something so we can get it over with.” Dean surly growls out, opening his fifth beer. Y/N gives him an annoyed huff pressing start. 

Dean jerks upright in surprise at her choice, “Seriously, we're watching...”

“...I don't like spaghetti westerns but seems you forgot I do like slasher films,” Y/N interrupts, “and don't you dare tell Sam, he already thinks I'm off my beam since we got together as it is.”

“Alright and I'll not take that last part as an insult.” Dean happily agrees, snagging the popcorn/M&M’s bowl shoveling in a mouthful as Y/N rolls her eyes, settling in to enjoy an evening of some slice and dice together.

 *****    

HOME COOKED MEAL       

‘’Argh! This is ridiculous, what made Jack think I could cook anything?” Y/N yells at the tablet sitting innocuous on the counter in front of her with the recipe Jack had picked out, taunting her.

Dean stopped in the doorway observing the mess Y/N is making of his kitchen. The flour bag is tipped over one counter spilling on the floor, the cutting board has something green cut into so many different shapes it's unidentifiable, other various items scattered about as the skillet on the stove is starting to smoke.

Then the alarm goes off screeching throughout the kitchen.

“Turn the stove off!” He yells over the alarm rushing over switching the stove off and grabbing a lid to smother the fire. Once it's out he turns on Y/N, “Are you trying to burn the place down? Don't you know not to set the heat on high under oil?”

“Yes Dean, I'm trying to burn the bunker down so I can get out of doing this!” Y/N screeches loudly waving the coupon in Dean’s shocked face.

He's never heard her like this, Y/N is one of those people that nothing outside of hunting makes her lose her cool, it’s one of the reasons he fell for her.

Dean approaches cautiously, reaches out placing his hands on her shoulders and slowly running his hands up and down her arms. “Baby, it’ll be fine but you need to calm down,” softly speaking in the soothing voice he used to use to calm Sam down when he was little and having a nightmare. “Now, what are we fixing for dinner?”

“Salmon Croquettes with wild rice and steamed asparagus.” Y/N glances over at the tablet, “I can’t understand why Jack would give me this, he knows I can’t even boil water outside of a tea kettle and...what do you mean we?”

“You really think Jack would intentionally let you cook anything outside of a bowl of cereal after the Cajun waffle incident?”

“They weren’t that bad.” 

“Sweetheart, we had to buy a new waffle iron.”

 “Alright Guy Fieri, what does yours say?” Dean pulls the coupon out of his pocket.

DESERT NIGHT

“I got your favorites and if you're a good girl,” Dean pauses, licking his lips teasingly, “I’ll let you decide how to devour them.”

*****                           

Dean grabs his jacket off the chair back and heads to the library looking forward to tonight's activities. Well, he’s part of it anyways since Y/N hinted hers was something he never ever did.

Dean steps up into the room and stops dead in his tracks when he sees Y/N sitting at the table in her outfit for evening. 

“Damn sweetheart.” 

“You don’t clean up to bad yourself Winchester,” Y/N remarks as she gets up walking around him, seeming to be mentally undressing him, “and since I don’t know where we’re doing tonight I was thinking that if you play your cards right,” she leans up, her voice husky next to his ear, “you might get lucky.” 

Dean takes his plump lower lip between his teeth and slowly lets it slide out making Y/N’s breath hitch as they stare into each other's eyes.

“So what are we doing tonight?” Y/N inquiries in a slightly breather voice than normal.

DATE NIGHT

Dean slides his arms around her waist, “I was thinking of taking you somewhere you haven’t been in a while,” he leans down kissing along her collarbone, moving up the side of her neck, “depends on what your half of the evening entails.” 

 Y/N retrieves the coupon from her jeans back pocket and Dean groans, dropping his head onto her shoulder.

SLOW DANCE

 “I was thinking we can do what this coupon literally says or we could interpret it a different way.”

 “Okay, I'm listening.” Dean mumbles.

“Well, there was no specific instruction from Jack as to what type of slow dance...” Dean’s head snaps up, his pupils dilating to the point the mossy green color has all but disappeared as Y/N keeps talking about the different types of slow dancing they could try.

“What are you asking?” Dean interrupts, his whisky roughened voice is even more gravelly sounding as his aching with desire.

Y/N walks backwards till her hips bump against the library's table, hops up on it leaning back onto her elbows, “I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with.” 

~~~~

Later that night

“So we agree we're not gonna tell them the real reason for our fight?” Y/N asks as she finishes braiding her shower damp hair, sitting at the foot of the bed. Deans leaning against the headboard with their last two coupons sitting upside down next to his sweat pant clad hip.

“They’ll think it’s stupid, especially Sam,” Dean remarks, “so, you ready to admit that Die Hard is a Christmas movie.” 

“Nope, you're never gonna convince me,” Y/N pronounces as she climbs onto Dean's lap leaning forward to softly brush her lips over Dean's before sitting back and picking up the coupons turns them over...

YOU WIN THE FIGHT  

YOU WIN THE FIGHT

“I think we better hang on to these, ya know, just in case.”

[silenceofthecookies]

One piece matchup for @basilisa-scorpii / @some-piece​ 

I’m 25 cis woman. Bisexual, however, I tend to lean more towards men or more “masculine” women, when it comes to physical attraction. I’m a tall gal (180cm/5’11) and on the chubby side of the scale, especially when it comes to boobs (I’m outranking OP girls, I’m afraid, rip my back xD), apple body shape, long legs. Dark, almost black, wavy hair, dark eyes, olive-ish complexion. Pierced girl here: 3 in left ear, one in right and a labret; totally planning more as well as tattoos. Rather tomboyish with a huge love for punk style, I like wearing black clothes and “break” them with something warm and vivid, like yellow or red.

ISTJ and Capricorn. Extremely introverted. Shy and reserved towards “stranger danger”, but I like people in general and I like company, as long as I’m having a safe distance and the “people time” is balanced with solitude. I have a huge tendency to be gloomy, can come across as rude and insensitive to people who don’t know me well, since I don’t really care about social boundaries, I’m sarcastic and have quite a morbid sense of humor. I am horribly hot-headed, but I do my best to tame it, so I rarely explode… But when I do, then it is indeed an explosion. Around the right people, I tend to get softer (aka the face people usually see on my blogs, doing my best to not be a bitch lmao) and more chaotic. Once I become close to someone, I am loyal to death and kind of overprotective. I’m not really affectionate and can’t express emotions well, my love language is an act of service. Biggest flaws: stubborn af, clumsy, oblivious, over-cautious, control freak, workaholic.

I love reading (sci-fi, fantasy, thriller, crime stories, magical realism, comics), travelling, history and archeology (ancient and medieval Europe), ornithology, stargazing and astrophysics, mythologies and folklore, cooking, writing, Greek history, language and culture. 

I also like: wandering around early in the morning/at night, reading on a windowsill, visiting random places in my city and around, rainy summer days and storms, birds, cloudless nights, dark chocolate, when someone plays with my hair, freedom of choice, meditating, good hot tea, hiking, sitting in water (hooot baths!), tattoos, piercing and body art, liquor, atmospheric bars with good music, good beer and good, small company.

I hate: crowd, clingy and noisy people, being told what to do and when, covering my neck and chest, being touched without asking for permission first, hot and sunny weather, losing control over situations or myself, cruelty against animals, kids and weaker people; bigotry, judgemental people, injustice, symmetrism, sterility, overly spicy food.

Any additional info you would like to share, fun facts, etc.

I’m neurodivergent (autistic and I suspect I might have ADHD in addition, though it both can go together and shares some similarities so who knows).

Used to be very sport oriented (trained basketball and for short time fencing) but because of health issues I can’t do that anymore. I do like being active whenever my mental and physical states allow me to (I just love yoga cause I can flex how flexible I am lmao)... But I need to be watched cause die hard or do nothing and I end in even worse condition, so yeah, someone with one more brain cell than me is needed around xD

I have a very high tolerance for toxic substances, such as alcohol, drugs, lots of meds… And luckily very good pain tolerance, cause most painkillers don’t work on me and whoa boy.

(No wonder I hate dentists with passion.)

I get along better with people who are straightforward and honest, even if sometimes they might tell me something I do not wish to hear. I will sniff bullshit out on a mile and if someone lies to me once, it’s over. And on top of that, I just don’t get hints, implications, allusions. Also, since I absorb emotions like a sponge, people who act too dramatically quickly overwhelm me, either it’s negative or positive emotions. 

I’d be the definition of a slowborn protagonist… Because it’d take me ages to realize someone has a crush on me and even longer to open enough to accept them lmao I’m a horrible, hopeless case.

I match you with... 

Trafalgar Law!

Bas. I kid you not. I spent 10 minutes trying to figure out if your match should’ve been Law or Zoro. Went down my list as usual, ended up with those two anyway. And here I wanted to surprise you ☹ Anyway, here’s why I picked Law:

Law is very calm, levelheaded and in general, not noisy at all. He’s a balanced person who generally won’t overwhelm you with his own feelings and emotions. He’s straightforward with his words and actions, because who has time (or energy) for beating around the bush? When Law says something, he means it. What also makes him a good match for you is that he is very calm, even in emotional situations, so he can step in before you explode.

A relationship with Law is very much drama-free. He’s a doctor, a captain and an insomniac gremlin, he doesn’t have the time nor energy for fights. You’re both adults, and problems will be handled as adults, by talking. Law won’t raise his voice unless you do so first and even then, it’ll take a while. In the rare case a fight escalates, he'll just walk away and wait for the situation to cool down.

Law is very patient with you. He’s not a person who will quickly get attached. Once he falls in love with someone, it’s unconditional. If you’re in disbelief he’ll show you through his words and actions that he’s serious. If you can’t accept it, he’ll wait until you can. He’ll give you all the time and space you need. Be prepared for some teasing about that way later in the relationship when you’re both comfortable with it though.

Law shares in your dislike of crowds, so dates will usually be something away from them, or something where you can easily get away from should it be overwhelming. Much like you, he too has times where he needs to recharge from social interactions by having some alone time, and he will never judge you or guilt you for needing some time for yourself.

Let’s not forget Law is a doctor. He understands your health, both physical and even to a degree mental, and will help you where needed, mostly by telling you not to push yourself and stopping you when you’re doing so anyway. He’s concerned about you but not in an overbearing way, trusting you to know what your limits are. Be prepared for a little nagging when you do know better but do things anyway.

Law’s love languages are quality time and acts of service, preferring to show this feelings for you through actions rather than through words or physical affection. He's happy you're not too clingy either, though that doesn't mean some affection isn't needed from time to time.

In general, Law will always respect your independence and even encourage you to do things with people beside him. He knows he's very busy and sometimes won't have enough time for you, so he wants you to have other people as well that you can enjoy yourself with. He doesn't easily get jealous either, though he is curious about your friends, wanting to meet them at least once, if only so he knows who you're talking about when you tell him about your day.

[thewildomega]

Star in the Sand Ch.4

Making your way up the steps of your home you let out a little whimper as you opened the door and stepped inside. Not hearing anything or seeing any lights on you assumed Crocodile was sleeping already. Good you really didn't want him to see you like this. Walking down the hallway with your head lowered you rubbed your face but stopped and knit your brows when you noticed your bathroom light on. Rounding the corner you quickly flushed red and turned on heel. "Why are you taking a bath in my bathroom?" you asked, hearing the sound of the water moving a small amount.

"You are the one that said a bath might help with migraine." he said in a normal deep voice, staying where he was. Seeing her keep her back to him he smirked at how flustered she was, had she never seen a naked man before? 

"Yes well I didn't mean in my bathtub." you said. 

"You expect me to fit in that small one in there? Besides I didn't think you would be home so early." he said. Tilting his head a bit as he finally took notice of her stiff stance and wrinkled clothing. 

Sighing you turned back but kept your eyes up as you reached to grab your bathing supplies and razor. Going to walk to the guest bathroom to shower you froze when his hand grabbed your wrist in a tight but not painful grip. 

Furrowing his brows at the dark mark along her cheek he saw as her face turned away from him more. "You are hurt." His voice came out lower and more caring than he had ever heard it. 

"I'm fine." you assured him, pulling your hand out of his grasp and walking out of the room. Going to the guest bathroom you shut and locked the door, sitting your stuff down on the edge of the tub. Looking under your lashes at your reflection in the mirror you saw the darkening bruise along your left cheek and temple, bringing your fingers up you gently poked the area and winced. Letting out a heavy sigh you looked down and started removing your clothes to take a quick shower. By the time you were done you no longer saw the light on in your bathroom and wrapped a towel around yourself before moving to your bedroom to put on your pajamas. As soon as you could you crawled into your bed and burrowed yourself under the covers. While you were hungry, having not eaten lunch or dinner you didn't feel like cooking. Hopefully Crocodile could manage his own supper tonight. Thinking back to the sight of his bare chest you bit your lip, he was a muscled man and you had taken notice of the small dusting of hair on his chest. You wondered how it felt, if it was soft or coarse or somewhere in the middle. Swallowing hard you closed your eyes and shook your head, nuzzling into your pillow, there was no reason to think like that. 

.................................

He had been waiting in the living room for her but she never came back out after her shower. Glancing to the time he saw it was only nine, he hadn't eaten yet and he doubted she had either. From what he had took notice of she didn't really eat that much, she seemed to forget most days. Standing he moved to the refrigerator and looked for something he could cook. Seeing beef, he rose a brow, he could work with that. Slicing the beef into thin strips he cooked them with onions and some other things before spooning it over the rice. Leaving it to cool on the counter he made them both a cup of tea and then walked down the hallway to her room. Knocking lightly on the door he didn't hear anything at first but then a small noise met his ears and he opened the door. Looking towards the bed he saw a small lump under the covers and furrowed his brows. "Come eat." he said but she didn't move. Crossing his arms over his chest he walked over to the side of the bed she was on and looked down at her. "I know you are not sleeping." 

"Yes I am." 

Rolling his eyes he let out a deep sigh, "I don't cook very often and I damn sure have never cooked for a woman before so you better get your ass in there and eat. We can watch that Dracula movie." he told her, his voice deep and firm, leaving no room for discussion. She laid there for a few seconds longer than needed before she finally stood and walked to the kitchen with him right behind her. 

Looking down at the bowl and tea you grinned softly. "Thank you." you told him and heard him grunt in acknowledgement. Eating your meals in a peaceful silence you kept your eyes down, until he finally spoke. 

"What happened to you?" he asked, his eyes looking over the bruise on her face with hard eyes. 

"Just a little misunderstanding." you said without looking up. 

Dropping his eyes to her darkened knuckles he knew it had been more than a little misunderstanding but if she didn't want to talk about it he wouldn't push the subject. Still though, it angered him to know someone had hit her, that someone had hurt her. Swallowing the food in his mouth he lifted his chin, "How old are you?" 

A little shocked by his sudden personal question you glanced up at him. "Twenty-eight." 

He would have guessed twenty three. He was sixteen years her senior. "When is your birthday?" Humming when she told him he narrowed his eyes, "Since you did not inquired about my own age or birthday I am guessing you already know." he said and saw her give him a small grin. Flickering his eyebrows he lifted the lat bite of rice to his mouth, "Well go on, I'll give you two free questions." He said, thinking he already knew what she would ask. 

Humming you steered your bowl, lifting a piece of meat and rice to your mouth, "Where were you born?"

A little shocked he took a deep breath, "In the East blue, Conomi Islands." he told her and saw her eyes go wide.

"What?"

"You and Nami are from the same place." you said. 

Grunting he grabbed his cup of tea, "Next question." This had to be it.

"What's your favorite color?" 

Okay now he was shocked. Those were not the questions he was expecting. Seeing her still waiting for an answer he let out breath, "I like blue, like the sea...." ...like your eyes, he thought but didn't say. Seeing her give him her usual soft grin he felt that fluttering in his chest and took a deep breath, "Movie." he said and saw her nod before she got up and took both of their empty bowls to the sink. 

.............................

It was day thirteen and he had decided to go back to the bar with her for the day, wanting to get out of her house and also keep an eye on her, even though he would never tell her as much. At the beginning of the night things went rather slow and they both played games of chess to help the time go by. They had even made another game out of it, with every piece the other took they were allowed to ask one question. He had a desire to know more about her, things he had never bother learning about people he encountered before. Taking her piece he set it to the side, "Tell me something about my world that I may not know." he said. 

Humming you looked over the pieces left on the board. "Luffy is Garp's grandson." 

"I already know that, obvious really, they are both stubborn and act like fools." he said. 

"Okay. Luffy is Dragon's son." you tried, moving your piece to take his knight.

Now that he didn't know. "The revolutionary leader?" he asked and heard her hum. 

"What's your favorite thing to eat?"

"Crocodile meat with tomatoes." he said and heard her laugh. 

Hearing the door open you looked up to greet the person when a familiar face met yours.

Noticing her face fall he knit his brows and looked behind him to see a small group of people coming in, one man was in the front with a small smirk on his face and one arm thrown over a woman's shoulder who was sporting a busted lip and black eye. Turning back to see Nina, y/n's co-worker walking by. 

"I'll get them y/n." she said.

Looking over y/n's annoyed face he rose a brow, "That the one you had your 'misunderstanding' with?" he asked. Hearing her grunt and grab the whiskey bottle from under the counter he was expecting her to refill his own glass but to his surprise she made herself a small tumbler and downed it in one go. "How did that whore do that to you?" he asked, nodding to the fading bruise she had tried to cover with makeup. 

Sighing you looked at him, "She hit me with a beer bottle when I was coming back in from taking out trash." you grumbled. "I don't even know what I did." you shrugged. 

Gritting his teeth he glanced at the woman out of the corner of his eye. She wore a short skirt and shirt that showed her stomach and far too much cleavage to be even remotely considered classy. In all honesty she reminded him of a woman one would see at the brothels back in his world. His y/n ... No, not his...Y/N didn't dress like that, other than the one time they had went canoeing he had never seen her wear anything that showed a lot of skin. Most of the time she wore a pair of pants and a long sleeved blouse. Well the other night she had worn a pair of shorts and a T- shirt but even then it had a high collar. Taking a deep breath he saw her move to help Nina with the order for their table. 

Turning back around once you had helped Nina get the drinks onto the tray you saw Rob walking over with a big goofy smile on his face. "No Rob, before you even ask the answer is still no."

"Oh come on good lookin' I ain't even said anything yet." he said, taking a seat at the bar. "What's wrong? Why you look so grrr." he said, scratching at the air. 

Watching y/n walk to the end of the bar to refill the other customers drinks he rose a brow. "Maybe she doesn't wish to be annoyed by little pests like you." Crocodile said as he sipped at his drink. 

Looking to the man he waved his hand. "Naw man, y/n loves me. She just don't know it yet."

"Of course she does." he grumbled. 

"Hey star look, you know how they say you are what you eat?" he said and saw her set the beer in front of him. "Well baby I could be you by morning." he grinned, giving her a wink. 

Scoffing you rolled your eyes and walked away. 

Shaking his head he let out a growl. This man couldn't take no for an answer. For the next hour he listened as the man repeatedly tried to win y/n over with horrible pick up lines. Although, he could see her grinning slightly at some of them and wondered if the man was only doing this to annoy her into forgetting her problems. 

"Okay Starlight what about this one... Are you a pirate?"

Catching his attention he looked at the man with slightly narrowed eyes as he sipped his drink.

"...Because I got a lot of semen waiting for you." he finished.

Almost choking on his drink he heard everyone else laughing and saw y/n looking up at the ceiling. 

"What is wrong with you?" you asked. 

"You baby, but I tell you what, let's go to the parking lot for a few minutes and then when we get back I'll be all better." he grinned, finishing his beer.

Shaking your head you took the bottle and tossed it into the trash, "Goodnight Rob." 

Sighing he stood and paid for his beers, "Alright fine, you just keep playing hard to get." he said playfully before walking towards the door. 

Making sure the an was gone he looked towards y/n and stood. "I am going out." he told her, taking the cigar she had bought him out of his pocket and seeing her nod. 

Watching him leave you made your round at the bar when Nina walked over. 

"Hey y/n I'm going to go out for my break okay, do you want anything from Jim's?" Nina asked. 

Shaking your head you saw her nod and then leave through the back. Washing the few glasses out and sticking them in the dishwasher you grabbed the cleaning cloth and spray, going to start washing down tables when a banging filled the bar. 

"Can we get some service?!" 

Cutting your eyes over to the pool tables you saw the group from earlier standing around snickering and smiling as the trashy woman called for you. Gritting your teeth you walked over to the tables, plastering a small grin on your face. "What can I get you?"

"I would like a cockta..."

"How about you doll?" the man asked, cutting off the woman and making her lips give a small pout. 

Turning your head up to the man you dropped your fake grin, "Try again." you told him.

Wrapping his arm around her waist he pulled her flush to him and smirked, "Come on girl, let me show you a good time." 

Shoving on his chest you growled, "I'm not interested. Now are you going to order or are you just going to sit around and waste my time."

Raising his lip in a snarl he grabbed her wrist "Don't get lippy girl." 

Feeling your temper flare you snatched your hand from him and went to walk away, "Go fuck yourself." you hissed but stopped short when something hit your back making you fall forward and let out a cry of pain. 

"Pathetic bitch." he said, tossing down the pool cue.

Panting you opened your eyes and looked down to see the cue beside you on the floor. Grabbing it you pushed yourself to stand and swung the cue through the air.

..............................

He had been sitting on the bench outside, smoking his cigar when he heard a feminine cry from inside the bar followed by the sound of something wooden hitting the ground. Feeling an odd sensation in his chest he stood and tapped out the cigar before quickly heading in. Opening the door he swept his eyes across the floor, when his eyes locked on his target he saw her swinging one of the pool cues, smacking the man in the legs and knocking his feet out from under him. Next thing he knew the others were rushing forward and y/n started trying to fight them all off. Hurrying over he saw one of the men swinging a knife towards her and quickly grabbed his hand, twisting it quickly and hearing it break. Throwing him down he witnessed as y/n punched the woman in the face, knocking her unconscious with one hit. Giving the other man a hard look he saw him back up and move to grab his friend. Before too long the whole bar was cleared out and he looked back to y/n to see her dropping the pool cue back on top of the table. Watching as she walked over to one of the chairs and sat down he took notice of her pained expression and frowned. "Are you alright?" he asked. 

Leaning over you placed your face in your hands and nodded, "I'm sorry." 

"Whatever for?" he asked. Moving towards her he noticed the stiffness of her back and curled his pointer finger under the hem of her shirt. Lifting it up some he felt her tense and saw her try to quickly sit up but he placed his other arm on her shoulder to still her. Tilting her head to look over the large purple welt across her lower back he grit his teeth, a growl rumbling in his throat. 

Blushing you pulled down your shirt and gently grabbed hold of his left forearm. "Thank you for helping me." 

Feeling a warming in his chest at her gentle touch he quickly cleared his throat and straightened his back. Pulling away his arm and hand he sighed, "Yes well I couldn't let them beat you too badly, how would we get back to your home tonight." he said and saw her give a tired grin before she was pushing herself to stand. 

Cleaning up the bar and explaining to Nina what had happened when she got back you were not surprised by the sheriff that showed up as you went to close. Gritting your teeth as he questioned everything that had happened and then your part of the story you backed up as he reached for you, saying he needed to see what had 'supposedly' started the fight. Thankfully Nina had quickly offered to show the man the video and he finally dropped his hand but stared at you longer than needed. 

He had sat in his normal seat as the two women spoke to the man who y/n had explained to him was kind of like a marine. The man who had to be in his late fifties looked at y/n with an unsettling look and from here he could hear how he seemed to question everything she said, asking if she was sure that was what really happened. When he reached out to grab her he noticed the woman take a step back and stiffen up. The male made her uncomfortable, that much was clear and as Nina spoke up he grit his teeth at how long the man remained staring over y/n. 

Once the sheriff had watched the video he had only grunted and told you that he would take care of it. Deciding not to push the matter only because you wanted to get as far away from him as possible you nodded and moved to lock up. Thankful Crocodile was here as the sheriff seemed to linger close to you. 

"I suspect you'll be going up the mountain tomorrow evening for that meteor shower?" he asked in a raspy voice. 

Humming you locked the door to the bar and quickly moved away from him and unconsciously more beside Crocodile. 

"Well you be careful, never know what might happen when you're up there all by yourself, when no one else is around." he said, his voice growing deeper. 

"She won't be alone." Crocodile growled, taking a step forward and staring down the man.

Smiling he looked up at the man, "I'm sorry I don't believe we have met. I'm Sheriff Jones and you are?"

Raising a brow at the man's outstretched hand he rose his chin, "Crocodile." 

"Like the dangerous reptile?" he huffed, dropping his hand.

Smiling he stared into the man's eyes, "Precisely." Seeing the man's smile drop he stood back straight and glanced down at y/n, his eyes softening, "Are you ready my dear?" he asked and saw  her nod.

"I'd be careful if I were you boy, that one there is trouble, ain't you girl?" he huffed with a smirk.

Seeing y/n's eyes drop he felt his rage taking over but knew if anything was done he would just cause her more trouble. So instead he smiled, "I tend to enjoy trouble and mayhem." the look on the man's face making him want to laugh. Walking her to her side of the truck he made sure she got in okay before walking around to his own, casting one last look at the sheriff before getting in. 

Driving away you finally let out a deep breath and licked your dry lips, "Thank you... for tonight and with him." you said in a soft voice just loud enough for him to hear.

Furrowing his brows he looked to her, "What did he mean by you were trouble?" he asked, ignoring her thanks.

Taking a deep breath you kept your eyes on the road. "I've had run ins with the law before, nothing too serious, stealing food and other little stuff like that, when I was younger. He has been the sheriff for years and we've never gotten along." you told him. 

He had  a feeling she didn't want to talk about this anymore right now so he let it go, he would try again another time. "So what is so special about this meteor shower?" he asked and saw her smile. 

"The Lyrid meteor shower. The best view is from the top of the mountain, you can see up to 18 meteors an hour." you told him.

Not being able to stop his grin at how much her eyes seemed to light up at the mention of the event he hummed. "And how exactly do we get up the mountain?" he asked. 

"Hike." you said and heard him grumble. "I'll buy you another cigar..." 

"Deal." he said and heard her giggle. 

..........................

"How did I let you talk me into this?" he asked in a deep voice as he walked with her up the mountain trail. 

"We are almost there." you smiled. 

"I should have asked for two cigars." he grumbled. 

"Hiking is good for your heart." you told him and only heard him huff. 

"So are pinto beans but that doesn't mean I am going to start eating them." he told her.

Grinning you scaled the last bit of trail and stood at the top of the mountain, looking out over the land below with a contempt smile. 

Looking over the landscape he had to admit it was rather peaceful. Following y/n to the flat area he saw her sit down and let out a sigh before he lowered himself down to sit on her left. 

Taking your book bag off you unzipped the pocket and held out his cigar, watching him smile as he took it, lighting the end and exhaling a cloud of smoke. Sitting a thermos of coffee beside him you saw him raise a brow but lift it up none the less. 

"Coffee?" 

"Figured it might help keep us warm." you shrugged. 

Yes it was fairly chilly up here but his thick fur coat kept him warm. Looking down at y/n he took notice of her wearing a simple pair of jeans, boots and her own jacket that wasn't all that thick. He wondered if she was cold. Seeing her drawing something in her sketch book he looked over her hands and noticed they were a bit pale. Biting his cigar he considered giving her his own coat but before he could say anything she gasped lightly and looked up as the first meteor shot across the sky. 

.................................

Watching the meteor shower with her, they both sat in a comfortable silence. She had drawn the event in her sketch pad perfectly and he had been amazed by her talent, having not seen her work before now. More often than not his eyes drifted down to her out of the corner of his eyes, finding her wondrous look more entertaining than the sky. He could see the reflections of light in her eyes and grinned, "Starlight." stiffening when he realized he had said it out loud.

Hearing him say 'Starlight' you broke your eyes from the sky and looked up instead into his two silver eyes, feeling a strong warmth radiate through your chest. Blinking you felt his finger brush yours, your heart beating like a hammer in your chest. When something red caught your eye you looked beside him to see smoke, red smoke. Furrowing your brows you sat up straight, "What is that?" you asked. 

Looking around them as the smoke encircled them both he snapped his head this way and that. What the hell?

"Crocodile?" you called as a harsh wind started blowing around you both, blocking off any sound. Going to stand you felt a shock of sorts on your hand as you tried to push through the smoke and let out a small yelp.

"Y/n!?" he yelled, wrapping his arm around her to pull her away from the smoke. Before another word could be said the ground was gone from under them and they were falling. 

Screaming you felt as he held you tightly, the wind blowing your hair wildly. 

There was a flash of light and then he landed hard on his back, letting out a small 'ooff' as y/n landed on top of his chest. 

Realizing the both of you were no longer falling you opened your eyes and looked at the wooden walls and floor. Feeling warmth beneath you you turned your head and blushed when you saw you were in fact laying on top of Crocodile. "I'm so sorry." you apologized, scrambling off of him. 

Pushing himself up he looked around the familiar place and then at the woman who was snapping her head around in all directions. Her bag and it's contents were scattered around them, the table and two chairs from before were there but the candle was no longer lit and the witch didn't appear to be here either.

"What just happened? Where are we? Crocodile..." you asked, your heart and breathing erratic. 

Holding up his hand he watched it turn to sand and smiled. He was back. 

Your eyes went wide when you saw his hand and wrist turn to sand. Suddenly it all sunk in and you couldn't breath. Crawling over to your bag you started shoving things inside. "Oh no. No, no, no, no!" you yelled. Zipping it up you stood. "This can't be happening." you mumbled. Looking around the small, dusty room you started jumping, "Hello? Smoke stuff you can take me back now. I don't belong here." you said to the air, looking down at your feet and hoping to see the red smoke start up again. 

Standing he looked around the room before looking back to y/n when he heard her panicked voice. Walking over to her he grabbed her shoulder to stop her from jumpping. When two scared blue eyes looked up to him he  furrowed his brows. 

"Why isn't it working? Why did I get brought back with you?" you asked him in a soft, scared voice.

"I don't know." he told her. 

Shaking your head you swallowed hard, "I can't be here." you whispered.

"It will be alright..."

"How can you say that? I'm stuck here with nothing, I don't even know where we..."

"If you recall, I was the same way when I came to your world." he said quickly, his voice deep. Still seeing worry in her eyes he sighed and rubbed her shoulder with his thumb, "Now it seems it is my turn to repay the same kindness you offered me." 

Shaking your head you kept looking in his eyes as it made you feel a little better. "I didn't ask for this, I didn't expect anyth..."

"I know." Softening his eyes he looked to her, "Will you trust me?" he asked. When she nodded he let out a sigh, his chest being filled with pride. "I will not let anything happen to you, you have my word." he said in a deep voice. Standing back straight he looked around the shack, finding the door.  Leading her to it he twisted the knob and then peeked out to see the street mostly empty, the sky just as dark as the night he left. "Come on, you stay by me alright." he said and saw her nod again as they walked away from the hut. Peeking back he saw no sign in the front yard like there had been and furrowed his brows but said nothing. Placing his hand on her lower back he led her towards the inn he had been going to that night, hoping Bonez was still there.