#i also don't know how much of a surprise it is that vex is here but she is!

[bunni-v1]

sunday x m reader who wont shut up while hes working so he makes reader cockwarm him to shut him up

Cockwarming With Sunday

🍓Dom Sunday makes my skin crawl. Anyway, I went for a softer take than what you wanted, sorry lol. Even when Sunday tops I can't see him as all that mean, at least, not in the way this was worded lol. Anyway, I'm very well Sunday's biggest hater (I love him more than life itself), so I hope you enjoy this. I want him dead.

Tw: NSFW; Implied power dynamics; Mean(?) Sunday; Grammar Errors; ts kinda ass

Info: Dom!Sunday x M!Reader (it's hard to tell lol); Cockwarming; pre ae sunday; Nsfw

Word Count: 1.5k

Sunday was always considered to be a patient man, especially with those he considered important to him. He had put up with plenty of Robin's silly plans and humored her with delight -- he loved her after all, and any plan she had wasn't truly all that silly so long as it came from her. He even enjoyed her endless conversations when he was meant to be finishing up paperwork. His time with her was sparse, he could afford extra time away from his duties for her. She never kept him for long anyway, understanding his position better than anyone else.

You, however, did not have the excuse of being his darling sister. You spent a significant amount of time with him, both in and out of work, and he had all the time in the world to spend with you. Which meant you knew better than most others how much he needed to fill out this report today. Yet... you kept running those stupidly pretty lips of yours.

He wasn't even sure what you were talking about, he'd tuned you out about ten minutes into your talking. Nearly an hour had passed, and you were still going on and on about something or another -- he catches that it's about an up-and-coming artist you'd seen, not that he cares for any musician that isn't his sister. It wouldn't be so bad if you were just talking, he'd mastered the technique of ignoring things that seemed to get under his skin, but you needed assurance that he was listening.

He would occasionally have to pause and answer questions without much context, or hum in acknowledgement of your words. Your incessant rambling is normally incredibly endearing to him, but with the deadline looming over his head, and the ache stinging between his brows it was enough to make it vexing.

He lets out a sigh, hands pressing the pen to the desk just a bit too harshly. You silence yourself, flinching back a little in surprise. He nearly coos, he hadn't meant to scare you, but you were very cute when frightened. (Perhaps he shouldn't be thinking such things...)

"My love," He hums, meeting your gaze with a calm smile, "you know I love having you around, don't you?"

You nod, nervousness shining in your eyes, giving you away despite the brave front you put on. You were always too easy for him to read, a bit concerning considering the enemies he has, but he'd prefer you pliant than hardened -- at least, in that way.

He gestures to the papers on his desk, "You also know how important it is that I get this done today, yes?"

"Of course," You answer immediately, and he can see the realization of why he was scolding you across your face. So very cute. "Was I talking too much?"

He hums an affectionate smile on his face, and gestures for you to come to his side. You do so with no arguments, as expected. He turns in his chair, grabbing you by your hips to situate you between his legs. You flush a bit at the contact, predictable as always, but he chooses not to comment on it.

"I need to get this done, angel," He asserts again, and you frown shamefully.

"Would you like me to leave?" You offer, but the idea sours something in his chest.

He shakes his head adamantly, "Of course not. I love having you here, but you'll have to behave for me."

There is a spark behind your eyes at his words that makes him ache a bit, his member coming to life much too fast for his liking. The effect seems to be mutual, as far as he can tell from his position near your crotch. His placid smile morphs into a slight smirk, and his eyes meet yours again, "You can behave for me, can't you?"

You nod adamantly, "Of course, s-sir." The title is stuttered, somehow unsure despite your knowing very well what he wanted from you now. It was so adorable how concerned you were with overstepping with him. You truly could do no wrong in his eyes, even when you were getting in the way of his work.

"Then," he pushes you to step back, leaning back in his chair, "Take your pants and underwear off for me. Quickly, I'd like to get this done as soon as possible."

You nod again, doing as he says like a well-trained pet, pretty eyes looking to him for approval as you shove the clothes to the side. He rewards you with a smile, leaning forward to run a finger along the bottom of your hard cock. You hiss at the sensation, drawing a chuckle from his chest.

He eases himself out of his pants as he tugs on your sensitive member a few times, enjoying the little whimpers you give him. His dick springs free, hitting his stomach. He leans back again as it does, telling you what to do with his eyes alone. You follow along like in a trance -- he'd almost believed you were under the influence Harmony, if it weren’t for the fact that he wasn’t using it in the moment.

You hiss lowly as he slides into you. Going raw must've been painful for you, but it felt heavenly for him. Your ass squeezed him so well like it was meant to hold him deep within. He smiles reassuringly at you as you finally sit fully on his lap, taking your chin in his hand to settle a kiss to your lips.

"Very good," He compliments.

You bite your lip, averting your gaze, "Thank you, sir."

He tuts at you, drawing your gaze back just as quickly as it left, "You can sit still and wait like a good boy, can't you? If you can't well..."

"Of course I can!" You respond with a desperation that surprises both of you, quickly adding, "Sir."

"Good, good," he hums, pressing a warm hand against the back of your neck. Your chin rests against his shoulder on instinct, getting comfortable against him. Once he's satisfied with you behaving, he leans forward and starts back to working on the document you'd been distracting him from.

The scratching of his pen is one of the only things keeping you grounded in reality. The stretch of his thick cock in your ass is almost too much for your brain to handle. You shouldn't have been talking so much, honestly, this is no one's fault but your own. Still, the torture of not being allowed to move for fear of worse punishment is enough to make you want to cry.

You sit there pretty on his dick like a good boy, though. Always so obedient for him, if only he didn't have to tell you to behave. No one is perfect, so this was a sacrifice Sunday had to make to keep things as he liked.

His fingers climb up your spine, tingling across your body right to your achingly hard cock. You almost hear Sunday chuckle when it twitches between the two of you, but it's so quiet you believe you might've made it up in your fucked out brain. You wiggle your hips in an attempt to get some friction, but all Sunday has to do is place his hand on it and you cease all movements.

Sunday seems, on the outside, entirely unaffected by everything. For the most part, he really is. He's blasting through his work faster than before, but that was because he couldn't wait much longer to bend you over the papers and reward you for good behavior. Each squeeze around him has him swallowing down groans, determined to not give into your temptations -- no matter how wonderful that sounded.

When he signs the last dotted line and closes the stack of papers back to the front page he lets out a sigh that resembles more of a moan than anything as you clench anticipatorily around him yet again. His pen is set on the desk with a little 'click', and he finally looks at you after agonizing minutes of your squirming. Lust has clouded over his gaze, and he looks positively angelic nearly lost to his own sin.

You are no better, pleading with your eyes for him to fuck you like the sweet thing you were. Tears pricked at the corners of your lashes, a picture of absolute beauty. He smiles at you, wiping them away from your cheeks as they spill over.

"You were very good, my sweet angel," He hums, moving his hands to your hips, "you deserve a reward for behaving, don't you?"

You nod adamantly, your heart picking up in excitement. He raises an eyebrow expectantly at you, and you know what you're meant to do next without the need for words. Standing from his lap, hissing as he leaves your tight hole, and bending over his desk like the good pet you were.

"Very good..." He hums, and your spine tingles in excitement as you hear his pants and belt hit the floor around his feet.

[azurityarts]

Team VIP

A cat crew coming to you sometime not Soon™

[convexicalcrow]

"Cub, please, go rescue the Allays, please, we can't let them stay there, they're so distressed!"

Scar's voice was also distressed, but Cub hadn't needed to hear him to understand. It had been a long time since Cub felt that deep Vex rage well up inside him, and it was both strange and also familiar. At least he knew why he felt that way.

"I'll get them, don't worry. He's not still there, is he? He's gone to do other things?"

"He's not there, no. Just, hurry. They're so scared! We gotta get them outta there!"

"Alright, leave it with me."

-

Jevin was easily distracted, it's fair to say, and in his Vex form, Cub was able to sneak into the place where he'd kept the allays with ease. He could feel their distress as he got close, and they flew to him once he broke in, clinging to him in fear.

"Don't worry, we'll get you out of here. You'll be safe with us. The Vex will avenge you," Cub murmured, giving as much comfort as he could.

There were small sad trilling sounds coming from the Allays. Cub could see the scars on their bodies where they'd caught Jevin's sword but had somehow survived. Cub wasted no more time in whisking them away to his base, hoping he could find a way to calm them down a little. He wouldn't defeat their trauma, of course, but that wasn't the point. At least he could give them sanctuary.

-

A lot of people assume Allays and Vex are enemies. That Vex corrupt Allays into Vexes. But this isn't true. Vexes are the rage Allays can't express. When Allays seek revenge, it is deep indeed, and handed over to the Vex, who can act in ways they simply cannot. And when the rage is over, the Vex are becalmed by the sweet song of the Allays, both comforted by their own presence. That is why Allays reside in mansions and pillager camps. Anywhere the Vex are, so too are the Allays.

-

"Cub, I've left a creeper in Jevin's house! That'll sort him out!" Scar said as he arrived at Cub's base later on. He wasn't surprised to see Cub still in his Vex form. "I named it CatDog! That'll teach him to kill Allays!"

"Very good, very good. It's certainly a start, that's for sure. I think we can find other ways to torment him, though, as the season progresses. These poor Allays, man, you gotta come see them. They've got scars, it's awful," Cub said.

Scar gasped. "Scars! Oh no! How dare he! Come on, show me where they are, I gotta look after them!"

-

Cub led him down into the basement of his house and flicked a switch. It opened a hidden door that led to a staircase going down.

"They're down here. They wanted to be far, far away, so I dug a hole at bedrock, and that seemed to suffice. They were sleeping last I checked," Cub said.

"Good, I'm glad they're resting. They'll be okay, won't they?" Scar said.

"I hope so, but you never know with traumatised Allays. Sometimes it's just too much. But I'm hoping we can give them enough of an outlet so they feel okay again."

-

It was, of course, a long way down. There was some soft conversation, but both Cub and Scar felt their anxiety and rage grow the closer they got. Part of it was empathetic; they were both feeling that way anyway, but part of it was coming from the Allays as well. Eventually, they arrived at a room, with a door closing it off. The soft sounds of Allays could be heard from within, their songs still very soft and mournful.

"Just be quiet and gentle, they're really on edge," Cub murmured as he opened the door as slowly and carefully as he could.

Scar nodded and followed him in. The room was small and confined, the two Allays sleeping under a blanket on a pillow in one corner. A soul lantern in one corner offered a little light, enough to see how much dimmer the Allays were. Cub sat down beside the Allays, watching over them.

"Just sit and be quiet. They like knowing we're here. I promised we'd get revenge for them. If you want to Vex yourself up a little, I'm sure they won't mind that either," Cub said, keeping his voice low.

Scar grabbed a spare pillow and sat down. He closed his eyes a little and let his Vex features come through a little bit. Vex magic always felt more powerful when he was in Vex form. "We'll avenge them alright, don't you worry about that, little Allays. I'm still so angry! Gods. I'm a zookeeper! How dare he just kill Allays like that!"

Cub shushed him. "There's a time and a place for anger, and right now isn't it." He reached down and gently touched the Allays, who opened their eyes and sat up a little. "The Vex are here, little ones. We'll protect you. We'll avenge you."

The two Allays made soft little cries before allowing Cub and Scar to hold them. Cub held his close to his chest, offering a little Vex magic to comfort the poor creature. Scar wrapped his in a blanket and cradled them in his arms. The rage was building, and for an Allay to feel rage, well, something very bad had definitely happened to cause it.

"This is just like the one I rescued last season. The one Zed got to kill him by holding thorns armour. Man, that Allay was messed up," Cub murmured.

"I did hear about that one. I hope they're okay now."

"It took a long time, but we got there. And these guys'll get there too. And if that means we get to have a little fun along the way, well. So be it."

"So be it. Long live the Vex."

"Long live the ConVex."

[pearlaquaoceans]

The amount of stuff knocking around in my head about episode 99 have me thinking nonstop about some of the gods and I gotta write it down. This might not make sense or it might not be how the gods will appear by the end of the three episodes but oh man am I invested right now.

Sarenrae - I could have only dreamed for Ashley to play the everlight but she is and it is perfection. I have missed the warmth of Sarenrae since VM and to have her back is fantastic and to have Ashley who showed such a love for her as Pike is so beautiful and wonderful.

I am totally behind Sarenrae falling in love and having a family in her mortal form. She loves humanity much like Pelor but being the goddess of forgiveness, she can understand them more and see their flaws but also the beauty in those flaws. I think because she forgives she can also see humans as the full beings they are and she loves them still. How could see come to Earth and see the good in people, and allow them forgiveness when they do wrong, and not love them? Humanity is messy and falling in love is messy and families are messy and it fits so much with what she governs that it just feels right to me. Her being a school teacher feels right to me. I fully believe she is going to carry the scent of the top of her children's heads for as long as she holds that mortal form.

Pelor - This one surprised me. He has always been shown in a domineering and stuffy light. He is a god in a traditional sense who seems untouchable, unreachable, and unparalleled in his grandeur. So the moment Nick Marini spoke as him, I was shook because it was so very... gentle. Warm. Present. I cannot remember the last time my feelings on a character did such a left turn that I was not expecting. As soon as he spoke I was in. I was invested.

And Pelor is in that traditional way, a god. Someone who loves his creations but also sees them as.. feeble. Needing guidance from the gods. It is a hubris that any god is capable of. Yet because of that, he is equally caring. This is the Pelor I had never seen. We have seen him be kind in a way with Vex, demanding with his followers, and unforgiving of the sins commited in his name, but we have not seen him gentle. And here, we see him so gentle. So caring for their creations. He wants them to survive, to feel more than just pain in existence. For the first time I truly believe he loves humanity. Maybe it will change in the next few episodes but for now.. I for the first time, care about him.

The Matron - Mmmmmaaaannnn I would expect nothing less than for Laura to play her. They are forever twined and I am so happy she is. The matron is.. so complex and I am stubborn and did not come into this believing I would feel anything but stubborn anger towards her for what she did to Vax even if she didn't really do anything wrong. I do believe she would have given him a long life but she could not and so she has instead chosen to keep him by her side and seeing this version of her... I can see it. I can see Vax giving her a sense of life that she has not felt in many many centuries.

As soon as Laura talked, I felt.. a warmth for her. A feeling, but I was not prepared on any level for the moment she said Purvan's name, to start sobbing. I don't know why but just knowing him and some of his journey, the mirror to Vax, the man who follows his queen and guarded her... I cried. I cried for him and I cried for her. I love that she is the goddess to know intimately what humans are capable of and knowing how little they would hesitate to destroy the gods. She also is willing to remind the gods of the fragility of man. I kinda love it. Damn it.

Melora - Man, the playing of her as relentless in her hunger is so interesting. Because nature exists to eat. Eating is survival. And survival is harsh and uncaring. Nature will not put compassion above survival. Melora is often played as warm and nature can be that but a world that has been choked by smoke and ash for a hundred years is a Melora that is haunted and starving. I love it.

I just really love the three all playing the gods they have been closest to or affect by in the campaigns. I love it. Its such a brilliant move.

[crimeronan]

kitkat this is mean but i do at this point assume that anyone who gets mad about the aphobia episode of housemd, which is late in s8, is simply and straightforwardly racist, homophobic, intersexist, etc. like if that is the one (1) bad thing you think is worth talking about - a single, one-off episode that was admittedly terrible but nothing like the constant and unrelenting greatest bigotry hit parade that is the show as a whole - i simply don't think that is an opinion i will be listening to. THERE'S BIGGER PROBLEMS!!!!

my perspective on this is, i think, both a little kinder AND a lot meaner than yours -- i 100% think that the Vast Majority of people who never shut up about the asexuality episode have simply..... never watched house MD. like, i really think that's it. they just have not seen the show. the only thing they KNOW about the show is the asexuality episode.

in fact, i'd say that 80% of people who derail my ableism posts EXPLICITLY tag or comment some variation of, "i'd never watch this / i already knew the show was bad / this doesn't surprise me because of the asexuality episode."

so it's not like.... necessarily that they think asexuality is the Only Thing Anyone Can Ever Talk About. it's just that it's the only thing they ever HAVE seen anyone talk about. and they're parroting whatever they've heard.

without. knowing. anything. about. the show.

like. it's just that they legitimately, honest to God somehow think that the asexuality episode was DIFFERENT, and that asexuals were UNIQUELY maligned, because they Literally Have Not Watched The Source Material. and so they don't know how often it happened. to everyone. or how systemic it was. or how cruel the writers were on a constant basis.

i think that this is the truest read of all this discourse. at the very least, it's the only read that makes me Not Actively Homicidal, so it is the one i must cling to.

there are a LOT of viral posts about house MD that criticize the asexuality episode without criticizing anything else. and those DO make me raise my eyebrows, bc presumably the OPs have watched the whole show, and so i'm like. why do you seem to take issue with the asexuality stuff but Not any of the other stuff.

BUT. if i am being good faith and nice to people... i figure it's, like, Ffffine.... for asexual people to make their own posts about house MD. since i am making my own posts about ableism in house MD. talking about one thing is fine. even if it makes me raise my eyebrows. bc as you said, it's one ep late in season 8 that sucks but. is not, uh. it's not the core of the show.

it DOES vex me that discussion of the treatment of asexuality gets SOOOO MUCH MORE VIRAL TRACTION HERE than any discussion of ableism, but it doesn't surprise me, exactly... about 50ish percent of this website is ace (last i knew?), and a MUCH smaller percentage is chronically ill. and on top of that, sooo many chronically ill ppl exist in a weird space with criticism of house MD in the first place, because he's the Pain Blorbo who's a Sick Doctor, he's like the only ornery bitchy chronic illness representation a lot of people have experienced, and that often Means Things to ppl with chronic illness. and so sometimes they feel Weird And Uncomfortable acknowledging that the show is also, um. really really reaaaalllyyyyy mean and cruel.

and just generally. not great. to us.

so. the posts about ableism..... don't circulate. at least not outside of very specific chronic illness circles. bc you have to be Nuanced about the chronic illness stuff, there's a lot of Uncomfortable Feelings involved, and the asexuality stuff is MUCH more straightforwardly terrible ragebait, which is very easy to get mad about & reblog with tags about how you are mad.

With All Of That Said.

i DO think that if people read a post that's being critical of how house MD hurts disabled/chronically ill people, or they read a post about any of the other many many many Many evil bigoted episodes in the series, and their ONLY takeaway is to type, "well, i knew it was bad because i heard about the asexuality thing!"

....i DO think that is thoughtless and cruel. and i do think that people should stop doing that.

and i have locked numerous posts because of people doing that.

and if people start doing that in my notes again, i will be instablocking and possibly locking more posts. because. please.

you do NOT have to say, "i already knew it was bad because X," or, "did you know it was also bad about X??" when the post is not about X. i was not talking about X. i agree that X is bad, but i would like to talk about Y right now, and this kind of smug kneejerk "i consume media the right way <3 i know that it's bad when it's bad" response makes it.... impossible.

like. i am being Earnest As Fuck about ableism and my own life experiences and the horrific structural inequality/oppression/violence/etc in the medical system. it's written about a TV show, but it's not Actually About A TV Show. you know?? my thoughts about house MD are my thoughts about The Actual Real Life Medical System and Actual Real Life Doctors. I'm Trying To Say Something Important .

now is NOT the time for, "oh, yeah, and the asexuality episode was bad!"

NOOOO..... FOCUS ON THE WORDS I JUST SAID INSTEAD. BLEASE,

[utilitycaster]

Hi I’m a new critter and I love your account and both your meta and your takes on “drama” I genuinely want to know (if you don’t mind saying of course) what you consider to be the most egregious, bad faith cr take that you’ve ever seen. I just like reading your criticism because it’s both incredibly articulate and smart but also very satisfying

Hi anon,

Thank you! I do have to say this is a difficult question with a boring answer but I'll give you a tangential one as well to make up for it.

Obviously, the misogyny and death threats in C1 are the worst! Anything that rises to the combination of structural oppression and literal death threats is going to be the worst, even before you factor in how utterly tiny the stakes were here (and, frankly, you shouldn't factor that in; doesn't matter what the cause is, big or small! Do not send death threats!)

The reason I tend not to talk about that is because there's very little to say. It's misogynistic death threats. That's awful, inexcusable, and dangerous in any context. But if someone doesn't understand how terrible this is, I don't think I can say anything to add to that.

Anyway because that was true, but obvious and not terribly revealing, I have been thinking a lot about mean-spiritedness in the fandom and I'll talk about that here. It's something I try to be cognizant of, because here's the thing: I talk a lot of shit. I'm aware I talk a lot of shit. There's many reasons why I talk a lot of shit. But I do try very hard not to be mean-spirited. I think there is a very clear distinction between criticism, even harsh criticism, of things you don't like, whether it's in execution, concept, or they just aren't to your taste; and mean-spiritedness, which is much more based in a desire to do harm to others.

I think again the example I've mentioned recently of people harassing Liam until he took a song off a Caleb character playlist is the pinnacle. This doesn't have any real goal re: criticism - it doesn't address an issue with the character nor the narrative and the only personal preference it reveals is "I, a random fan, don't like that this song was used in this context" which is not really relevant and you can skip it. Harassment is never justified, and even behavior that skirted harassment really served only to be a dick to Liam. It didn't have a single result other than "Liam takes the song off and feels kind of bad for a while," which I suspect was in fact the goal for most people, and that's pretty abhorrent.

Harsh criticism is not necessarily constructive, but it is with the intent to reveal - either a personal preference, or what you believe to be a flaw (structural, thematic, etc) within the story. It might not have a goal - personal preference really is just "I don't like this guy" and that's fine. Mean-spiritedness, however, exists just to spew bile and do harm.

So the following (most of which are paraphrased, but all are things I've personally seen on Tumblr alone, and nearly all are from the last year or so) aren't per se the most egregious or bad-faith takes, but they are absolutely mean-spirited. They have all destroyed my estimation of the people saying them for the most part beyond repair, and in many cases, if they have not hurt my estimation of the ship or character they were intending to support, they have certainly increased my estimation of the things they were intending to oppose. (And it goes without saying: any harassment - any - is automatically mean-spirited).

"I hope Fjord and Jester have divorced [author's note: they were not married] and I hope it hurt."

"I hope Caleb and that floaty fuck have broken up by the solstice."

"I hate Ashton, and Campaign 3 wouldn't be any different if they weren't there."

"My wishlist for this episode is that Chetney hits on Fearne and Ashton cockblocks him"

"I hope Fearne makes that robot eat his stupid coin"

"I'm not surprised that Yasha missed, because Yasha is bad at everything."

"Funny how Vex goes against her husband but does everything that Keyleth says" [Author's note: later proved to be hilariously untrue]

"No one cares about Travis's characters."

"Oh, Liam meant that Essek's own guilt would still exist by 'It won't help the inside?' I thought he was just being a fucking twat."

I think some people go into fandom not because they want to talk about characters, but because they see it as an opportunity to hit someone. I think some people believe they are entitled to a "win" (not normal to want nor possible to achieve and often less about the story and more about the fandom agreeing with them) and will engage in any tactic no matter how underhanded if they don't think they're getting it. That's what mean-spiritedness is in the end. It's not a single opinion, and often it goes under the radar compared to more stupid but less clearly unpleasant takes - a lot of the above didn't result in a ton of discourse because most people see these and rightfully go "oh that person is a tar pit" and block them - but it's certainly, outside of bigotry (which is also frequently also mean-spirited) - the most bad-faith approach to fandom on the whole.

[theoutcastrogue]

D&D 5.5 Rogue tweaks

[5.5, 5.75, 5.24, OneD&D, 2024 D&D, ugh, I don't care]

Rogue

In the base class, honestly everything's GREAT except stealth rules and damage output. So all I got to add is:

See Invisibility, Trueslight and similar don't let you see creatures that used the hide action successfully

Pending a more comprehensive stealth fix, because dear god these rules suck, and also I won't be sure how they even work until the DMG comes out.

Sneak Attack 1/turn/target

Extra Attack at lvl 5

My old 5e houserule. This may seem too much (with the Nick Weapon Mastery you can have 3 melee attacks/attack action at lvl 5) but remember that it's a much bigger hassle to set up sneak attack for multiple targets (stealth and Steady Aim will only cover one attack), Cunning Strike sacrifices sneak attack dice lowering dmg, and often you'll simply run out of targets. So you won't actually be dealing 3 x sneak attack dmg every round. Also remember that other martials got boosted even more and deal quite a lot of dmg. Needs playtesting, but I'm confident it's gonna be fine, and if it's not, I'll just roll back the extra attack.

Cunning Strike includes Disarm, like in the playtest

Come to think of it, shouldn't that be a Weapon Mastery? Do you think books down the line will introduce alternate weapon masteries, like, rapiers normally get Vex, but alternatively you can pick Disarm or whatever? Cause we can beat them to the punch and homebrew that right now!

Arcane Trickster

you can cast Mage Hand without verbal components

you can cast without verbal components [Proficiency Bonus] times / long rest

Self-explanatory. Sorcerers are the masters of metamagic, but conceptually this subclass needs Subtle Spell.

Mage Hand can be used to pick locks and disarm traps

No idea why they removed this ability, and limited Mage Hand to Sleight of Hand, but that's just silly and we're bringing it back.

you can use scrolls of the spells you know

Just clarifying a little thing here – an unfortunate wording appears to prevent Arcane Tricksters and Eldritch Knights from doing that by RAW, because they choose "Wizard" spells, and you can only use scrolls of your "class's spell list".

Assassin

the extra damage from Surprising Strikes is now twice your Rogue level, and applies only on the first sneak attack that hits in the first round

Assassinate, famously, used to let you crit surprised targets. Surprise rules changed, and now we get instead advantage on initiative (new and cool), advantage vs creatures that haven't acted yet on the first round of combat (as before), and Surprising Strikes: if you sneak attack on the first round, add +rogue lvl to damage. (so like, +3 at lvl 3 and +20 at lvl 20). Although much more reliable, this flat bonus is really underwhelming, and doubling it gets it on par with a crit. I feel that's appropriate. What's the point of being an Assassin if you don't wreck someone once per combat? It's your job!

As for the crit, I will miss it because it was HEAPS of fun, but I'll admit that for multiclass martials the "Assassin 3" dip was simply too good, and anything that's too good is bad design.

And I added the "only on the first sneak attack" clause due to my 1st houserule: now rogues can potentially sneak attack more times per round, and we only want to go nova once.

Soulknife

Psychic Blades can now be used outside your turn

Opportunity Attacks are finally feasible with psychic blades in 5.5, but for example a Commander's Strike from your Fighter buddy gives you an attack as a reaction, not called an Opportunity Attack, so it wouldn't apply. And it's a pointless restriction.

Thief

is perfect 10/10 no notes

Main sources:

2024 DnD 5e Transition Guide and Change Log: Everything That's Different in the new Player's Handbook (RPG Bot)

2024 PHB Rules Changes D&D 5.24 (Treantmonk's Temple video)

2024 Player's Handbook First Look Review (Dungeon Dudes video)

[redacted]

[waltwhitmansbeard]

For the Hospital prompts, may I request

17. "Please tell me that isn't your blood on your shirt." Perc'ahlia in Vamp Machina?

If it's not fitting, you can pick another universe <3

17. "Please tell me that isn't your blood on your shirt."

Vex isn't used to the worry. When one is a powerful, nigh-indestructible undead killing machine with razor-sharp teeth and an ass that won't quit, one becomes accustomed to feeling untouchable, unshakable, even in the face of acute danger.

And then some skinny nerd with a death wish and annoyingly nimble fingers comes along to turn everything upside down, and here she is, arms crossed tightly around herself as she resists the urge to tear open this receptionist's throat in rage. All she gets is a phone call from the witch her brother's been knocking around with—"Percy's in the hospital. I...I thought you'd want to know."—and she's not even allowed in to see him. These fluorescent lights are hell on her skin, make her look even more undead than normal. How much longer is she expected to wait before someone gives her some fucking answers?

She's left to stew in her own anxiety for so long that she almost misses when they come out, Percy half-draped along Keyleth's side as she helps him hobble toward the door. In a flash, Vex is in front of them, earning a gasp of surprise from the witch. She inspects Percy, taking his chin in her hand as gingerly as she can to inspect his face, his neck, his clothes. "Please tell me that isn't your blood on your shirt."

And despite the swollen black eye and the stitches on his lip, the fucker laughs, gravelly and low, and Vex wants to bite him in all the best ways. "Not all of it."

Keyleth scowls. (As annoying as she finds her brother's fascination with the little witch, Vex can't deny she's pretty, rosy and delicate in a way she bets tastes wonderful.) "He stumbled across three vampires feeding on a woman in alley and thought he'd take them all on himself." Vex frowns; he's a talented vampire hunter, she is aware, so surely three wouldn't be enough to do this kind of damage. Keyleth continues, her voice dripping with acid. "Why don't you tell Vex how many wooden bullets you had on you at the time, Percival?" Oh, how fun—this kitten has claws.

Percy's eyes flick up to the ceiling, clearly over being chastised. "Two."

Vex's stomach swoops. Two bullets? For three juiced-up, pissed-off vampires? Gods, she's lucky he's alive. She drops his chin. "I thought you were intelligent, Percy."

His eyes—eye, really—narrow into slits. "What would you have had me do, Vex'ahlia? Let them kill her?"

Yes, she wants to snarl. Fuck that bitch, better her than him. Vampires killing humans is the natural order of things, but she'll burn this city down if he's one of them. She's aware of the hypocrisy, of the irrationality of her bone-chilling desire to keep him safe, but she can't be bothered with reason. He's hers, and Vex is not interested in sharing. She sees the challenge in his eyes, his waiting for her to say it out loud, her willingness to say that some nameless human woman should die in order to prevent this level of devastation to his body, the body she is so very fond of, but she won't give him the satisfaction.

She slips her arm around his waist, on the opposite side of Keyleth, and begins to urge them forward. "Come. I'm sure your witchy roommate has supplies to heal your pretty eye back home, and I'm going to take that shirt and use it to find the one who did this to you."

"If you want to see me shirtless, Vex'ahlia," he murmurs, low and weak, "all you need to do is ask."

Fuck, Vex can feel the heat of the embarrassed flush on Keyleth's cheeks, but it's overshadowed by her own heat simmering low in her belly. She brings her lips right up to his ear, which is also caked in blood. "You and I both you know you enjoy it when I don't ask."

That, at least, seems to rattle his self-satisfied confidence; he nearly trips as they exit the hospital. Vex grins, eager to get him home and punish him deliciously for his recklessness.

[stillness138]

5 things i'm able to rant about for an hour without preparation, or, the brainworms tag game

thank u @thirstyforred ☺️

-

i think i'm quite predictable, but lemme try

1. yeah, this one takes the top spot here too, surprising nobody. the witcher, text, lore, metatext. or however it's called when the writer had a goal and we all have to live with his increasingly more nonsensical way of reaching it. everything about it makes me go insane and what perhaps the most is the way people - and i now mostly mean writers other than Sapek - handle the material after him. the good and the bad. these books and whatever came out of them thematically touch me like nothing else does and i can't imagine a world where the attachment i have to it all didn't exist. an hour would barely suffice to get started.

2. art and art history. obviously, so i don't have to type a whole lot here. i always did it, i studied it, it's a fundamental part of me. if we ever go to a museum, give me something to chew on so i don't yap the whole way through.

3. meteorology. i just think they're neat meme but it's clouds and our atmosphere. it's a bit deeper than that though, i grew up in a gliding environment and this was an omnipresent, crucial part of it. my interest in severe weather resparked a couple years ago so now here i am, running out of the house whilst sick to take pictures of a thunderstorm. don't ask me about tornadoes.

4. the elder scrolls, with the clarification that i am very very far from actually knowledgeable about it. but it, for me, exists in a funnily similar place as the witcher when it comes to including ideas and themes, but also author and intent in how i look at these works. this would lead me to a whole tangent on how nothing exists in a vacuum and triple A videogame writing, probably. i really enjoy creating characters in this universe, maybe more than any other (they don't know i have like 30 tes ocs...), but keep the brainworms in check on purpose because if i cared about another thing at the mercy of corporate interest as much as i already do about that one, i think not even touching grass could help me.

5. i'm not sure if this is the best descriptor or if it deserves its own spot but...people? fandoms and cliques, how art is perceived and treated. how class and classism play into that. i feel strongly about these things because i find people fascinating and spend too much time on the internet, but i'm also who i am and interacting with people will sometimes inevitably make me ponder these things. it's why i put "theme shitaboutgiver" in my bio here tho so i guess gamers give me enough of a headache to warrant a spot on this list.

i also wanna know what vexes the rest of strays so consider yourselves tagged frens 🌼

[lixenn]

*breaks into ur window so i can spill all my questions here while I read Yves' 😳😳✨ profile*

Lix...there are so many Marina mentions in Yves' profile sdjfbhsdf their beef is so hilarious to me, I might just start shipping them lowkey but then iirc Marina is alr married right? (another L for Ein, I will be staying in my DanxSqualo corner) 🤣😭🤣😭

Does Yves have a favorite flower in particular? Or maybe a flower that would represent them best?

I see that they're also a massage enjoyer!! How often do they get massages?

If "humiliating Marina in one of their verbal sparring matches" is one of their future goals, does that mean that that they've never really won? or does it always end in a draw? 🤣🤣

Heya there Ein!! *hands you a cup of tea* Nice having you drop by, it's always a pleasure 💜🫂✨

Yves and Marina

Yes... those two... I honestly don't know where that dynamic came from, it lowkey attacked me in a dingy alleyway and now I'm stuck with it lmao. As for shipping: Marina never married for love, she married for political ambition. She's fond of her husband and might even love him in some way but it's more of an owner indulging a particularly silly pet than anything substantial. He was a means to an end and he fulfilled it after Marina established her network and gave birth to her son. So technically her husband isn't really in the picture, but Marina's view of romance is... twisted. She likes the idea of it but often finds the reality... disappointing. Her family and her goals are her priority, anything else is inconsequential. To the surprise of everyone who knows them Dan is actually the more romantic out of the two siblings, which is why he really really doesn't like his sister's husband. But he will keep his mouth shut because Rina is happy with the situation. Yves on the other hand... They fail spectacularly at romance and dating because they miss the point of it entirely. There's no balance in all of their past relationships because Yves takes too much but never gives back. They manipulate and break hearts and cheat and they only feel an echo of pain when people leave them for it, if they even get a chance to do that. Most of the time Yves ditches their partners before they have a chance to break up with them. I can see the appeal for the ship though I feel like it would a be a very toxic one lmao.

Flower

Thanks to lovely @rebo-chan and her flower wisdom I can tell you that the flower that represents Yves is foxglove!

The foxglove is strongly associated with fairies, a fitting flower for the Fae. It's believed that fairies would play them as music in order to lure in those who are foolish enough to come into their gardens and from there they are tricked into sitting amongst the fatal blooms. They are painful if touched, and fatal if ingested. Foxgloves represent insincerity and deceit, but also immense pride in oneself and individuality and honestly this is Yves in a nutshell. They are arrogant, they lie and manipulate as they see fit but even if they put on different masks to trick their victims, they will always know who they are underneath. There's no taming the spark that makes Yves the selfish, beautiful, greedy individual that they are. In the end Yves will always be poison. Do not touch for you will suffer and do not look because if you do it's already too late.

Massage

Massages are the best and Yves knows it so they go to their favourite massage pallor bi-weekly. It's one of their many expenses which they can afford because their info isn't cheap by any means.

Verbal beatdown

Most of the verbal sparring matches do end in a draw since both Yves and Marina have silver tongues and a well of information at their backs. But more often than not Marina gains the upper hand which vexes Yves tremendously. Rina simply finds it hilarious and uses Yves' rage to further humiliate them. So even when they actually manage to win, Yves will always strive to beat Rina verbally into the ground.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Sebek Zigvolt New Year's Attire Personal Story: Part 2

"I'll fight strongly and beautifully!"

(Part 1) Part 2 (Part 3)

[Beside Mister S's Mystery Shop]

Sebek: Wh-

Sebek: WHY IS MY HAIR SO OUT OF PLACE!?

Vil: HUH!?

Sebek: THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! I MUST FIX THIS IMMEDIATELY…!!

Vil: You seem quite panicked… That surprised me. Were you really the type to worry so much about your appearance?

Vil: I completely thought you weren't concerned in the slightest towards your hair or clothes.

Sebek: What are you saying!? I am always striving to be worthy of being the Young Master's attendant!

Sebek: In order to be of any assistance to their master, an attendance must always strive for perfection. It would be out of the question to present to him a disheveled appearance!

Sebek: This hair of mine tends to fall into disarray, so I always take care to keep it set perfectly with the proper hair products.

Sebek: Of course, I do this even when Malleus-sama is not nearby. He may show up at the shop at any time…

Sebek: If word spreads that I was in a state of disarray, then it will tarnish Malleus-sama's reputation!!

Vil: Is… Is that so. Well, good looking out.

Vil: I suppose now that you mention it, you certainly are always dressed very properly.

Vil: I also believe that it is important to choose your appearance depending on the time and place. I didn't expect us to have this in common, of all things.

Sebek: Urk, these strands that have fallen out of place just won't go back at all. Normally I would be able to set it again with a comb like this.

Vil: You must have sweated a bit too much from moving at a different pace than you're used to. It won't fix itself just by pawing at it like that.

Sebek: How vexing. It takes me so much time in the morning to set it, and yet this hair…

Sebek: …Hm?

Vil: Why are you staring at me so intently?

Sebek: Why is your hair not out of place at all, Vil-senpai? Even if you weren't moving as much as me during that battle, it's still strange.

Vil: Nothing is strange about it. I have simply taken the proper precautions.

Sebek: Precautions…?

Sebek: …I see. So that is what you meant by your comment earlier that I was "making too many unnecessary movements."

Vil: Huh?

Sebek: So, you… You were moving in a way so as to not throw your hair into disarray!

Sebek: How practical of you. And learning such special movements would no doubt be good training.

Sebek: TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!

Vil: That's nowhere near the right attitude to ask me to teach you.

Vil: But… Perhaps. If you vow to listen to everything I say from here on out, I don't mind teaching you.

Vil: For starters, you should learn how to ask others for favors properly.

Vil: As one of Malleus's followers, you of course know how to request help from others properly, yes?

Sebek: Y… Yes, of course.

Sebek: …Please, Vil-senpai. Would you teach me the method to set my hair so it does not become disheveled?

Vil: Well, I suppose that is 100 times better than before. Good on you for being so forthcoming.

Vil: And I suppose I can acknowledge your high-standards in your personal upkeep…

Vil: Right, I've decided I like it. I'll look the other way on your former attitude just this once.

Sebek: The deal is struck, then. So, what is your secret?

Vil: The secret to keeping your hair set perfectly is… this.

Sebek: Hm…?

Sebek: TH-THAT IS…!

[Mister S's Mystery Shop]

Vil: Alright, that was 5,100 madol. Thank you for your purchase.

Heartslabyul Student A: That cost hurts my wallet, but with this, I can have another ＨＡＧＯＩＴＡ battle.

Heartslabyul Student B: We'll take our revenge for our loss this morning, and get our hands on Sam's Golden Ticket!

Vil: Sebek, we have a challenger. Go get ready.

Sebek: Oh, you're the Heartslabyul students we obliterated this morning. Didn't think you would come back so soon.

Heartslabyul Student A: Ugh, the way you speak gets on my nerves. This time we'll definitely win and make you pay!

Heartslabyul Student B: Sebek should totally be exhausted from all those consecutive matches. We'll be able to mop this up easily with him that tired.

Sebek: Humph, say what you want. But let me tell you this as well.

Sebek: THE ME THAT STANDS BEFORE YOU NOW… IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON FROM BEFORE!!

Heartslabyul Student A: Wh-what? The mood just shifted…

(Part 1) Part 2 (Part 3)

[anistarrose]

*turns giant spotlight on you* why don't you tell everybody about that cursed crossover fic :3c

(WIP ask game here)

oh I was wondering if any of you who Knew would use this as the chance to make me spill the beans about this one... I'm so glad you did, though. because I have a lot of thoughts about why Bill Cipher and John/The Hunger should have a mutually toxic Chess and Vore hangout, to make each other worse.

(spoilers for The Book of Bill under the cut)

this was of course inspired by what I call Mandibles Theory, and what I've been lovingly called a coward for not calling Vore Theory: the implication from The Book of Bill that he not only burned his dimension, but also devoured a great deal of the other inhabitants, possibly even to get to them before the fire could. my first reaction to realizing how much sense this theory made was "oh my god that's fucked up," but obviously, my second reaction was "oh my god Bill's so John Hunger coded now, they should make out sloppy style."

the premise is that Bill develops an interest in the Light of Creation — possibly finding out about it in the first place because Ford ran into the IPRE or something, but the dimension-hopping nerds all take a back seat for this one. the next thing Bill finds out is that there's already a dimension-destroying eldritch horror with his sights set on the Light — but that's not enough to stop Bill, obviously. he lets himself into John's mindscape...

and Bill doesn't fully understand the significance, but John is surprised not to see Merle, actually. because this is post-"are you my friend?"/"I feel sad," that whole implication leaves a bad vibe in the air on John's behalf, though it's not enough to stop them from getting a chess game going, where they exchange (heavily selective retellings) of their backstories. Bill shares that he could see the third dimension — and John shares that with the Light of Creation, he could see the fourth. he could see time, the length of eternity. John says this in such a grave tone that Bill rolls his eye, says he's been alive for trillions of years, it's not all that serious — and John retorts that trillions of years are still less than eternity. that Bill still can't comprehend eternity.

now, Bill wants power, he wants John on his side. so he switches topics and plays up their similarities even further. he likes eating people too! it's one of his favorite pastimes! "tell me, Johnny, how you shut out the angry voices of those devoured souls! I like to drown the suckers out with my favorite songs, so how do you cope?"

John's reaction isn't what Bill expects — least of all given that Bill is wildly, wildly playing down how much the screams of his devoured family still haunt him. but John declares he doesn't have this problem. he doesn't devour for the sake of destruction, but for the sake of becoming something more with the planes that he finds — every lifeform the hunger swallows becomes immediately as vexed as John is with the horror of existence and the maddening nature of eternity.

"everyone listened," John tells him, insistent; "every single person listened." he says this, and cracks of opalescent corruption run up his neck, across his face, and he still maintains: "no one has ever turned away from the truth, from — from the Light —"

the reader knows that Merle turned away. and that that's what drives John forward, with a fervor in his eyes that makes Bill think he's angling for some kind of eldritch makeout session, which, you know what, Bill might be into that — but that's not what John's after. tendrils of the Hunger unfurl from his body, and try to absorb, try to devour Bill himself. he wants to drag Bill down with him. to make him see the world as John sees it — to think about existence not just for trillions of years but forever, to think of living with the screams of his devoured family tormenting him for forever.

and for a moment, Bill does start to see it that way. the existential dread assails him from all angles — the prospect that no partying, no portal, no puppet, no Sixer can stop his suffering forever? the prospect of carrying this guilt and these devoured souls eternally?

what saves Bill is not any strength of willpower exceeding that of John's. the only reason Bill breaks free is because, fundamentally, he cannot accept that unhappiness could be real. to accept that his eternal existence would be torturous would mean accepting that he is unhappy now, that none of his rationalization or his partying or his puppets have changed that. and Bill can't accept that.

he burns his way out of John's mindscape, he flees the Hunger-dimension altogether, and he never dares pursue the Light of Creation again. it pierced his mental defenses in a way that nothing had before. a way he's determined, silently determined, to never let happen again.

the last scene cuts to Ford and Merle playing cards on the Starblaster. and Merle's like "say, buddy, you just get a weird feeling that we just dodged a bullet we never even saw coming?" and Ford's like "some of us are scientists, who don't so haphazardly mix metaphor and superstition. but yes, I do feel a bit like a scary shadow just passed underneath us in the ocean." and then they go back to playing cards and the fic ends there with no one the wiser

[aspiringsophrosyne]

Episode 3: The Feast of Realms

What can be improved?

So....let's talk about episode 3.

Dinner With The Briarwoods.

This bit is mostly personal preference, but there's something here beyond that. Something I would like to get into so that we can come back to it later.

One thing I really enjoyed about the stream counterpart to this episode was the slow. Fucking. Burn.

Sadly, we weren't going to get nearly as much of a slow burn in the animated show; we have much, much less time to draw out tension and suspense. That said...I don't really understand the choice to change the circumstances around the dinner to make the scene as quick of a burn as it was.

Because now we have The Echo Tree, and the talk in Syldor's office.

That talk in Syngorn was exactly what I expected from the Briarwood dinner. It perfectly translated to animated medium the same horrible, slimy unease that comes from having to tolerate absolute vileness under a mask of civility because you just can't do anything else in the moment.

So....what up with that?

It's possible the writing crew didn't have the confidence three episodes in to try something so subtle...

But if that's not it, then why?

Adapting the dinner more closely to the stream would've served it just as well if not better. Both stream Percy and animated Percy are relatively quiet characters up to this point (especially compared to the other main characters). Letting animated Percy know about the Briarwoods in advance, letting him stay quiet, letting him subtly and silently boil at the Briarwoods audacity makes the resulting explosion of violence and irrationality that much more striking.

The CRew have said they didn't want the series to be a one-to-one adaptation. It can't be, and even if it could they wanted even stream watchers to occasionally be surprised. I respect and approve of that. However....while I can see the purpose behind other changes in the animated series (which I'll get into when they come up) I don't see what we get out of this one.

......I also think Vax with the Briarwoods in their room could've been dragged out just a little bit longer, but that's just a nitpick.

The Twins' Bond.

Recently on the TLOVM S2E12 q&a, Matt confirmed that the reason Vex couldn't sense Vax's presence in The Hope Devourer was because the golden life thread that had previously connected them had been redirected to the Matron of Ravens. Before this, they shared what was effectively a psychic twin bond, which allowed them to tell when one of them was in danger.

This....is not communicated incredibly well in the series up to this point.

What we get in The Feast of Realms is Vex inexplicably reacting to Vax being in trouble and knowing where he is, with no explanation or exposition. It basically comes across as a plot contrivance.

And it wouldn't have been hard at all to set up; while VM are talking and Vax volunteers to go scouting, Vex could've reassured the group that the twins have always had a sixth sense for each other. (You can even put in a gag here where she pinches him and they both react in pain at the same time.)

"I can always feel it if you're in trouble. And where you are when you get in trouble. So don't fuck it up. Or I will find you."

"Whatever you say, stubby."

Hell, they could've made it even more explicit than that by showing a golden thread pulling on Vex while her brother was downed in the courtyard. This would not only cause her to worry for him but would pull her in the correct direction.

This would've made it clear that there's an in-world reason Vox Machina was able to get to Vax in time. This would also set up Vax's deal with the Matron quite nicely. If the bond between the twins had been better established by that point, it being cut would have immediately communicated to the audience just how big a deal Vax's bargain was.

And how much it really changed what the twins once shared between them.

The Fight

One thing I have very, very little to criticize in this series and one thing Titmouse does exceptionally well is its fight sequences. Everything is kinetic, has weight, you can feel the damage being done to the participants, you feel the stakes....it's great.

What I think they have a problem with though, is cutting to scenes during a fight that have nothing to do with the action.

Let's look at how the show cuts back to Scanlan in the middle of the Briarwood fight:

The gang got kicked around for a bit, to the point where Keyleth and Vex were knocked off their feet and confered with each other:

Keyleth: We're not doing terrible, right?

Vex: No, this is terrible.

And then....we cut to Scanlan.....

For some reason?

This isn't to say that it's a bad idea in and of itself. Cutting back to the palace theoretically gives us a moment of comic relief, it can break tension, and/or drive up tension by pulling us away from the action while it's still ongoing. Also, Sam and Peter Habib's song writing is always a welcome addition to any episode.

The problem is the placement of it. Why did we cut to Scanlan then, at that point in the fight? What specifically did it give us to have it occur at that particular moment?

By all appearances, not much.

So, what can we do to make that moment more effective? There are probably a couple of ways, but here's just one possible example:

Have Delilah launch a very visually impressive spell at Vox Machina. Build up its approach. Have the camera pull in closer and closer to our heroes' faces to show this very dangerous spell getting closer and closer....only to cut away, right before it hits, to the inside of the palace. A loud bang is heard inside; maybe it even rattles the windows. The crowd notices and starts getting visibly and/or audibly confused and worried. Scanlan notices them noticing, then with desperate quick thinking, starts slathering cake all over himself and going into the climax of the song.

Placed this way, this scene serves multiple purposes:

It's one more thing that shows just how powerful Delilah is. Even people inside the palace are taking notice of her magic.

As mentioned earlier, it drives up suspense and cuts tension at the same time, as we see Vox Machina about to be hit by a powerful spell (that we hear go off inside the palace) but we don't get to see the result of it for a bit.

Having Scanlan notice this and then turn up the wildness of his act to try to distract the crowd gives him a touch of extra depth. Yes, Scanlan is a naturally outrageous character. But this helps show he uses his natural outrageousness strategically. This serves as a good example of why Scanlan is so integral to the group. Plus, it fits neatly with the way Sam would play at the table and how many people play Bards in D&D in general.

Lastly, it sets up Uriel and the palace guards coming upon the aftermath of the Briarwood fight at the end of the episode.

The Feast of Realms is a very solid episode, and arguably it's where everything really kicks off. There isn't much to really pick at here; just little bits and pieces that I think could've been done slightly better. Overall, damn well done, and surprisingly accurate to the stream as well.

[utilitycaster]

idk if you're still doing the unpopular opinion thing. Feel free to ignore if you're not. My unpopular opinion is that, because the romances in C1 happened without any planning from the players, it set the precedent to the cast and the fandom that if they talk about the relationships out of the game, it's gonna make them not as organic or "earned". Laura just teasing Travis about fj already made people disregard the ship as "planned" (ignoring the 500+ hours of development) and treating it as if it was bad because Laura "planned it" in advance. But honestly, Imodna is a ship that would've benefited A LOT from some out of game conversations between Laura and Marisha and I think it would've been better if they had planned for them to become a couple from the beginning, so maybe they could've focus more on developing it in game

I'm not still doing it per se but I'm not not doing it, but also to be honest I agree with you on which of these ships are good and that Imogen and Laudna needed considerably more planning, but I actually disagree that this is how this played out for other ships.

I didn't watch Talks for campaign 1 nor watch Campaign 1 as it aired (and Talks didn't start until after the romances had begun), but from what I recall from other conversations Liam did at least float the idea of playing romance out of game to Marisha and Matt - the surprise was when and how he revealed it, which is really no different from Fjord and Jester. I think (and as with all thoughts re: the fandom in C1 I might be wrong because I was not there; it's educated guessing) it was simply more surprising to the audience in that campaign because there wasn't a talkback show, because the fandom was smaller and less romance-focused, and because Vax and Keyleth particularly was very early since some of the development was pre-stream.

I think this post, which I made about a month and a half ago, about talking about the relationship in-game and in-character, might be relevant, as might this post about defining the relationship from yesterday. I think talking out of game is good and useful (and I think the fact that Matt, on 4SD, essentially said "do not try this at home" re: Imogen and Laudna is worth keeping in mind) but also I think that having the characters communicate in-game is arguably more important. Like, I don't know how much Taliesin and Laura talked about Percy and Vex out of game, nor can I say how much was necessary, but the fact that Vex, while Percy is dead (but Taliesin is watching from backstage), says that her heart belongs to him is the equivalent of a green flag conversation. Like, I don't think the cast typically plans out "my character is romantically interested in this character", and even if they do that doesn't mean it will remain the case or that anything will come of it; but a lot of the conversations happen in-game, but in a place where action is not immediately required from the other party (this is important) and that's just as valid a place to talk as out of game. It even serves as a reason to talk out of game; if Taliesin heard that and Percy was not interested in Vex (or if he as a player was uncomfortable playing romance), that's a chance for him to say "by the way, here's where I'm at" out of game after the session.

With Fjord and Jester specifically...look. A lot of people just don't like that relationship, which is their right, but the arguments against it have always been incoherent. As I was around during Campaign 2 I can say that the criticism was essentially ever-changing with each episode, which is usually a sign that it's baseless. It went from "Travis doesn't do romance so this isn't even on the table" to "Jester isn't even interested in him" to "wow Travis didn't plan this at all lol he doesn't care" to "wow this is too planned and inorganic and fake" to "well Laura blinked twice in Liam or Marisha's direction this episode [and also Fjord and Jester made out mid-combat] so I'd say we're winning, folks!" to "we popping the BIGGEST bottles in the finale where they break up" to "this campaign was a FAILURE and I hope Jester is eternally miserable" to "how DARE we have a Fjord-centric two-shot, prayer circle for Fjorester divorce" to "[incoherent sobbing, incorrect use of the term 'comphet', rage-quitting the fandom, and/or creating an entire Essek Hate Block Evasion sideblog]."

Anyway my point in all this, in addition to having fun, is that haters gonna hate and in the case of the Campaign 2 ships, which are all incredibly well-developed throughout the course of the campaign, they are going to make shit up. We don't need to pretend like it comes from a place of anything other than illogic and bitterness; too much planning was just one of the many things they threw out to try to justify a dislike that was, imo, barely related to what was happening onscreen.

But yes: especially because Imogen and Laudna were, out of game, intended not to be romantic, it desperately needed some kind of conversation that defined boundaries and indicated a change, and it's telling (and obviously I'm biased, but also, my blog archives speak for themselves) that the tenor of the conversation among those who ship it has drastically changed over the course of the campaign whereas the criticism has been remarkably consistent since roughly post-gnarlrock fight. But the fix could have been a conversation either out of game or in-game with other characters. Like, FCG and FRIDA, or Deanna and Chetney, are actually a perfect model of how you can handle this primarily in-game.

[bluiex]

Random Scarian Heroes x Villain AU thing I made for no reason Mumbo: Let me get this straight, he gave you a rose. Grian: Yes Mumbo: After you two fought. Grian: Yes Mumbo: ...and you kept it. Grian: What was I supposed to do when people give you flowers?! I've never been given flowers in my life, especially from a hero! Mumbo: Grian, you might give Scar that little hope that you might like him back or he has a chance! I love torturing people but I'm not on the same boat when it comes to breaking other people's hearts. Grian: But I don't wanna throw the flower away! I like roses. Mumbo: *sighs* Fine, just try to ignore Scar I guess? Let's just see where this will end up. (Months later..) Grian: Mumbo..? Mumbo: Hm? Grian: He asked me out...on a date. Mumbo: ...wha- WAIT WHAT?! REALLY?!?! Grian: We had another a fight as usual in the city and before I could head back here, Scar pulled me over and asked if we could go on a date!! Mumbo: Well?? What did you answer? Grian: ... Mumbo: Grian? Grian: I..I might've said yes...? Mumbo: GRIAN Grian: HE'S NOT THAT BAD!! He's cute so I just thought why not. Also..I umm, kinda like him too so uhhh...yeah. Mumbo: *facepalms* You know what? Makes sense why you've been having goo-goo eyes for him. Grian: HEY!!

(After the date) *Grian comes back from the date* Mumbo: So, how was it? Grian: We're going on another date soon. Mumbo: ... Grian: Are you..mad? Mumbo: No, Grian. I'm honestly happy for you so don't worry about it! Grian: Then why were you so silent?? Mumbo: Nothin' much, I just feel like I'm on the path to being a third wheel. (Grian and Scar started dating, not many people know about it but some do. Civilians have suspected that villain named Watcher, Grian, and the hero named Vex, Scar, have some chemistry going on but have shrugged it off) (3 years later...) Mumbo: I HEARD THE NEWS!! Grian: News of what? Mumbo: THAT YOU AND SCAR- wait.. Grian: Mumbo? Is everything okay? Mumbo: ...nevermind forget about it. Grian: Okay then?? Mumbo: *walks out of the room* Mumbo: *calls Scar* Mumbo: Scar? Scar: Oh hey Mumbo! What's up? Mumbo: I thought you proposed to Grian!!! I almost spoiled the surprise. Scar: Dude I'm scared!!! What if he says no?? Mumbo: That man loves you, alright?! Put that ring on your boyfriend right now and make me your best man in your wedding!! Scar: Okay okay!! I'm just trying to find the right time. Mumbo: I've literally cleared out Grian's schedule just so you can propose!! Just do it man! Scar: You're right!! I will do it!! Mumbo: YEAH Scar: YEAH The end :D

OUESFESOGIGRDOJKHD Honeslty this is better than any fic. THE BOYS MARRY AT THE END AAAHH They have a wedding, and invite all the heros and villains and its an amazing time

[redwineconversation]

I felt you in my life before I even thought to

TL:dr version: good news for Arsenal and Juventus - Lyon is basically dead! Bad news for Arsenal and Juventus - Lyon is particularly good at coming back from the dead.

Disclaimer: I'm like soft 90 percent sure I have referred to "Case of the Ex" before somewhere on this blog, but just to clear about when I use that expression, it simply means playing against your former team and nothing to do with a player's personal relationship status.

Anyway, with that out of the way, let's chat about the UWCL draw.

First up is Arsenal on October 19, which I am not super thrilled with in terms of timing - I would have much rather play them in November when we wouldn't be as dead - but not much you can do about it.

There's several factors at play: the alleged "Beth Mead Revenge Tour"; just how long can Lyon survive on life support while being on a ventilator; and how van de Donk handles Case of the Ex.

I want to chat about the latter because I have seen two sides so far on social media: either van de Donk will kiss the badge and provoke Arsenal fans, or she will acknowledge she was with the club for six years, Gunner for life, all that stuff. Here's the thing though: we don't know which way it will play out, and probably won't know until the game(s) actually take(s) place.

Yes, van de Donk did write a love letter to the club and the fans. Yes, she was with them for six years, and even I am reluctant to downplay the emotional attachments she had to the club. You don't stay that long with a club if there wasn't something there. I am more than happy to concede all of that.

But the van de Donk who wrote that love letter isn't the van de Donk we have now. I absolutely do not mean it in a negative way. It's just a hell of a lot easier to emotionally deal with Case of the Ex when your new club is the one handing you the Champions League trophy.

I've seen Case of the Ex go both ways: Sára Björk Gunnarsdóttir was subdued at best in her celebration when she scored against Wolfsburg in the 2020 Champions League Final (Lyon won 3-1, their fifth straight). Saki Kumagai, who was with the club for eight years. was respectful scoring against Lyon in the group stages last year. (Her goodbye post to Lyon remains, in admittedly my biased opinion, probably the most touching goodbye to a club).

Pernille Harder had a completely different take on Case of the Ex when Chelsea played Wolfsburg. If anything it took me by surprise - I would have expected Harder to have been the most respectful out of the three cases I referred to. Wolfsburg took her to two Champions League finals, made sure she was talked about when a discussion arose regarding the world's best players, etc. I would have put legitimate money on a subdued goal celebration.

That wasn't what happened.

And that's why I think it's premature to say van de Donk won't. Yes, she had a very good relationship with Arsenal. But she's at a different club now, who has given her what she wanted all along, and maybe, depending on your view on professionalism, sees her for what she is.

She sees Lyon for what they are, too, and I think that's another factor which is going to be at play: she understands that a vexed, vengeful Lyon is unplayable. Are we certain, if Lyon finds themselves in a hostile environment at the Emirates, with certain players diving and calls going against them, that Lyon's eyes won't darken? Are we really certain van de Donk's won't?

Which leads me to the second point of discussion: what is stronger, Beth Mead's alleged Revenge Tour, or Lyon's hatred of losing? It perplexes me a little to read with such conviction Beth Mead being angry > Lyon losing. Both are strong, both are valid, but. It's a lot harder to GOAT yourself past a team whose eyes, I have said repeatedly, change at the very thought of losing.

Mead might be angry, might want to prove herself, but it's so, so hard to do so against a team like Lyon. I also have full confidence that Mead will be mouthing off about how she is angry, about how she wants to prove herself, about how Lyon is on life support and therefore there for the taking. She is hardly known for restraint, are we supposed to believe, in all due honesty, that she won't say something which will piss Lyon enough to get off the ventilator and be themselves?

Now it must be said that Lyon currently being crippled by injury is something that plays to their opponent's favor. If you do the math Lyon is without 10 important players: Carpenter, Macario, Marozsan, Majri, Hegerberg, M'Bock, Dabritz, to name just a few. The Carpenter Dilemma has not been solved and will not have been by the time these games take place.

If Arsenal want to win, they have to put an end to this bullshit Miedema as a 10 thing they have going on. She will be eaten alive by Lyon's midfield, particularly if Henry gets to play DM. Miedema is not quick enough, does not see the game fast enough to play as a 10 against a team of Lyon's calibre, crippled by injury or not.

With that being said, I am more concerned about Juventus than I am about Arsenal, and again, remain somewhat perplexed by certain individuals dismissing Juventus because of their current league rankings. This is a team that Lyon has a history of struggling against. This is also the team that both Wolfsburg and Chelsea struggled against. Are Arsenal fans really so cocky that they believe themselves to be the exception?

Still the question remains: can Lyon force themselves into a resurrection? We don't know. And we won't, either, until these games are played.