#which is to say. if any of you are mean about him being rightfully sick of this shit. i Will start blasting.

[crimeronan]

kitkat this is mean but i do at this point assume that anyone who gets mad about the aphobia episode of housemd, which is late in s8, is simply and straightforwardly racist, homophobic, intersexist, etc. like if that is the one (1) bad thing you think is worth talking about - a single, one-off episode that was admittedly terrible but nothing like the constant and unrelenting greatest bigotry hit parade that is the show as a whole - i simply don't think that is an opinion i will be listening to. THERE'S BIGGER PROBLEMS!!!!

my perspective on this is, i think, both a little kinder AND a lot meaner than yours -- i 100% think that the Vast Majority of people who never shut up about the asexuality episode have simply..... never watched house MD. like, i really think that's it. they just have not seen the show. the only thing they KNOW about the show is the asexuality episode.

in fact, i'd say that 80% of people who derail my ableism posts EXPLICITLY tag or comment some variation of, "i'd never watch this / i already knew the show was bad / this doesn't surprise me because of the asexuality episode."

so it's not like.... necessarily that they think asexuality is the Only Thing Anyone Can Ever Talk About. it's just that it's the only thing they ever HAVE seen anyone talk about. and they're parroting whatever they've heard.

without. knowing. anything. about. the show.

like. it's just that they legitimately, honest to God somehow think that the asexuality episode was DIFFERENT, and that asexuals were UNIQUELY maligned, because they Literally Have Not Watched The Source Material. and so they don't know how often it happened. to everyone. or how systemic it was. or how cruel the writers were on a constant basis.

i think that this is the truest read of all this discourse. at the very least, it's the only read that makes me Not Actively Homicidal, so it is the one i must cling to.

there are a LOT of viral posts about house MD that criticize the asexuality episode without criticizing anything else. and those DO make me raise my eyebrows, bc presumably the OPs have watched the whole show, and so i'm like. why do you seem to take issue with the asexuality stuff but Not any of the other stuff.

BUT. if i am being good faith and nice to people... i figure it's, like, Ffffine.... for asexual people to make their own posts about house MD. since i am making my own posts about ableism in house MD. talking about one thing is fine. even if it makes me raise my eyebrows. bc as you said, it's one ep late in season 8 that sucks but. is not, uh. it's not the core of the show.

it DOES vex me that discussion of the treatment of asexuality gets SOOOO MUCH MORE VIRAL TRACTION HERE than any discussion of ableism, but it doesn't surprise me, exactly... about 50ish percent of this website is ace (last i knew?), and a MUCH smaller percentage is chronically ill. and on top of that, sooo many chronically ill ppl exist in a weird space with criticism of house MD in the first place, because he's the Pain Blorbo who's a Sick Doctor, he's like the only ornery bitchy chronic illness representation a lot of people have experienced, and that often Means Things to ppl with chronic illness. and so sometimes they feel Weird And Uncomfortable acknowledging that the show is also, um. really really reaaaalllyyyyy mean and cruel.

and just generally. not great. to us.

so. the posts about ableism..... don't circulate. at least not outside of very specific chronic illness circles. bc you have to be Nuanced about the chronic illness stuff, there's a lot of Uncomfortable Feelings involved, and the asexuality stuff is MUCH more straightforwardly terrible ragebait, which is very easy to get mad about & reblog with tags about how you are mad.

With All Of That Said.

i DO think that if people read a post that's being critical of how house MD hurts disabled/chronically ill people, or they read a post about any of the other many many many Many evil bigoted episodes in the series, and their ONLY takeaway is to type, "well, i knew it was bad because i heard about the asexuality thing!"

....i DO think that is thoughtless and cruel. and i do think that people should stop doing that.

and i have locked numerous posts because of people doing that.

and if people start doing that in my notes again, i will be instablocking and possibly locking more posts. because. please.

you do NOT have to say, "i already knew it was bad because X," or, "did you know it was also bad about X??" when the post is not about X. i was not talking about X. i agree that X is bad, but i would like to talk about Y right now, and this kind of smug kneejerk "i consume media the right way <3 i know that it's bad when it's bad" response makes it.... impossible.

like. i am being Earnest As Fuck about ableism and my own life experiences and the horrific structural inequality/oppression/violence/etc in the medical system. it's written about a TV show, but it's not Actually About A TV Show. you know?? my thoughts about house MD are my thoughts about The Actual Real Life Medical System and Actual Real Life Doctors. I'm Trying To Say Something Important .

now is NOT the time for, "oh, yeah, and the asexuality episode was bad!"

NOOOO..... FOCUS ON THE WORDS I JUST SAID INSTEAD. BLEASE,

[aluraveil]

yandere ex pm dazai x reader

im imagining a scenario where it turns out that pm dazai doesnt really love you and that you were just a toy for him to play around with..

you're angry and rightfully upset and you're in tears and sobbing. you thought dazai loved you and it turns out that he didnt? what a sick joke.

buuuut then dazai sort of realizes that he's alone without you. there's a sick feeling of regret crawling up his spine.

and once he starts to regret, it hits him hard. he went from not caring and then did a whole 180 and started to miss you a lot.

once hes in the phase where regret eats up at him, he's quite literally scary as fuck. all of a sudden he becomes more agitated, more selfish, and has less patience.

all of his subordinates and people working under him can tell that dazai is a time ticking bomb about to explode. when he regrets, dazai becomes more aggressive and downright scary. if his men fail a mission they are all getting severely punished. dazai just doesn't have the patience anymore.

it doesn't get any better when he becomes the port mafia's boss. if anything, he becomes even worse. if you thought mafia executive 'Demon Prodigy' dazai was scary, you haven't seen anything.

as the boss of the port mafia, dazai is naturally in charge of everything that happens as he quite literally is the highest ranking member of the mafia because he's the leader. during the time period he takes over as the boss, nobody even wants to mess with him.dazai has much more influence over everything during this time and you can bet that he has been watching over you for quite some time.

it doesn't take long for dazai to snatch you back up. he quite literally was 'suffering' and in so much 'pain' without you even when it was clearly his fault. you cant blame yourself for leaving him. who wants to be with someone who doesnt love you? nobody right?

during this time, he tries to run into you by coincidence. at this point he sometimes runs into you if you worked at a restaurant or something. he tries to play it cool but you both know what his true intentions are and it doesn't need to be said out loud.

you however, are downright terrified. this is literally the same guy who committed 625 counts of fraud. 625. not to mention he is the literal boss of the port mafia. the boss. the frickin boss.

you're scared because you dont believe he will show any mercy towards you. this is because the two of you arent 'lovers' (you don't know if the both of you ever were because dazai didnt hold any feelings for you) and he probably sees you as nothing more than a stupid idiot. this is not the same dazai you loved. this is the dazai that doesnt love you meaning that he doesnt care about you which in turn means that if something happened to you, he just straight up doesnt care.

he starts calling you 'belladonna' and 'darling' again which feels awkward and disgusting. whenever he calls you that you straight up wince and cringe and you don't even try to hide it. there's a whole wave of awkwardness that lingers in the air when you just reply back with a "..hi?.." dazai senses that the tension in the air is so thick that you could slice through it but him being him he just straight up dgaf.

you're not thrilled to see him whatsoever. when he comes here he doesn't even order any food and just tries to talk to you. he always leaves you a huge tip when he does leave though. you never take it though. you dont want his money. the next time he does come you give the money back to him and but he refuses to take it back saying "you've been working so hard belladonna, you deserve to treat yourself." again with the belladonna thing. it doesnt feel right for him to call you that at all.

dazai knows that youre refusing his advances but it doesnt stop him from trying. afterall you loved him once. thats all that matters. its only the results that matter in the end right?

right?

...

maybe.

[ms-cartoon]

Y'know, even at this point, I still don't see how these two would even be friends.

I mean yeah, maybe they can get along and relate a little bit to one another. Maybe they can care a little bit about each other behind closed doors. But anything along the lines of being attached, best friends, platonic friends, boyfriends (hopefully not)? I just don't see it. I wouldn't recommend it. Even during this entire bullshit musical number, I still don't sense any chemistry. And it's not just because of the song or what the point of it all was.

The dynamic between these two is thought out so poorly and Viv is only forcing it at this point. She might as well only be pushing this ship because her fans want it to happen.

Cuz there is no taking away the fact that Angel is a constant uncomfortable flirt with Husk. Pushing his boundaries, touching him, and talking dirty. Obviously, Husk is rightfully annoyed by it and has all the reason in the world to not like Angel, no matter what trauma he goes through. Not to mention he was talking a lot of mess to Angel this episode, and it really upset him. And now that they had a heart-to-heart talk (which I don't see how that had any impact on their dynamic cuz there's hardly anything similar between them) it's all water under the bridge?? I never even heard Angel apologize for how he behaved around Husk. Like what- just cuz that's the kind of person he is and it's a trauma response, that means it's okay and he shouldn't feel sorry??? I get so sick and tired of that crappy excuse!!

What is it with Viv and shipping her characters with harassers???

The arguments that they have feel so sudden and forced anyway. I feel like the only reason why it happened was so that their relationship could feel earned later, but it just doesn't work.

As a matter of fact, Husk shouldn't even have been the one to chase after Angel. If anything, I think CHARLIE should've gone after Angel and had a talk with him! Cuz not only would it have been a chance for this episode to be focused on her (THE MAIN CHARACTER IN VIV's FEMALE-CENTERED SHOW) This could've been a chance for Angel to probably have more trust and care for Charlie which he never had in the first place. Especially when Charlie sort of got him in trouble with Valentino. She wanted to apologize to Angel so badly? Freakin go after him and say ur sorry! Why are you wasting your time on these silly ass notes!! Maybe this could've been a chance for Charlie to learn how bad Angel has it and that not every sinner who's as troubled as him could easily make a change for the better. And if Husk absolutely has to be centered as well, have him be shown enough times as Charlie was.

This show could've had a chance to be female-focused as Viv said it would be, but she and Adam blew it by the time episode 2 was uploaded cuz she favors all her male characters and ships much more than the opposite sex.

[obsidianpen]

Tell me Tom is bad at feelings without telling me.... Loved your new B&G chapter, kinda knew that we'd have to see the Dark Lord version of Tommy sometime soon, but didn't think it would be THAT soon. I want my fluff back.

Anywho - kinda funny that he's all in Hermione's face about being her 'Master' when he's quite literally a slave to that WAP. I think Hermione needs to put him in his place ASAP. Here's hoping that whatever they see in the vision really shows just how 'worthy' she is of being his equal.

I am also honestly jealous of all the people that are able to fantasise about the ending - I honestly have no idea and I'm loving it.

My only (silly) question is - will the lines ever stop spreading? It's clear that they are literally everywhere (thanks Tom), but surely they are running out of space to spread?

Also - the hand shaped mark on Tom's chest that Hermione did - are they somehow connected? Sorry I know that's 2 question.

Feel free to ignore them if they are too spoilery! x0x0x

okay I’m glad someone else sees this too haha! Yeah, so not to get to into revealing toms inner turmoil (if you don’t like knowing what’s going on in his head stop reading this),

but I’m totally about to ramble big time because I think a lot of people are missing this. Lots of comments like ‘he’s such an asshole!! How dare he!!!’ Well. Toms definitely spinning. And can you blame the guy? He went from getting a bouquet of symbolic wildflowers from hermione that was even sweeter than she realized (he often gave flowers to his clients as a shop boy, and he even stole some for her accidentally - never imagined once in his life that he’d ever get any - yes because he’s a guy but also because he has a lot of hang ups, he is not used to gifts, he gives things to manipulate and he takes the things he wants), and after deciphering all that realizing (even if he wouldn’t say as much) that he’s fucking down so bad for this witch, fully enamored, must keep. And THEN she’s sick and THEN she doesn’t take his nice ‘take a nap, love’ potion and THEN she gets kidnapped by Dumbledore and the freaking MACUSA and THEN he’s pleading with freaking Hepzibah like some lovesick peasant for help and THEN, when he’s knee deep in imperious curses and dark marks and internationally kidnapping metamorphagi bartenders, THEN, while retrieving her wand from the Ministry despite how tricky that is (like a true gentleman)… he finds out this bitch stole his ring. Which means she knew about his horcrux (well it was horcruxes but he didn’t know that then poor lamb) and in his mind, the only reason anyone would go after a horcrux would be to destroy it. Tom had to process a lot, still had to save her because he can’t have this seer who knows all about him in Dumbledore’s clutches, had to short term delude himself into pretending everything is totally fine until he gets her out, that whole grand escape thing happens, and THEN she wants to give him a blowjob??? Which he’s never trusted anyone to do, let alone this witch he’s obsessed with who destroyed his SOUL??? Who at this point he thinks is a world class psychopath, btw - but he lets it happen because even in his most crazed moments, he’s actually exactly what you said. And he knows it deep down, but can’t accept it, so yeah, he’s doing the whole ‘have to reassert my dark lord dominance’ thing, and while a lot of people reading seemed really hung up on him being a manipulative asshole (rightfully so, this is him), there was also a lot of pretty blatant worship in that chapter too (and in case this has also escaped the general notice, Tom is actually obsessed with pleasing her)

[aspens-dragons]

hi aspen here. ok rotumblr we (she life on my science till i project gc) need your guidance. the "i" in the following story is clearly not me. because i dont have a girlfriend. the pre-hangout facetime is going great chat. so far kekoa's the only one here with any kind of game, falinks has been to the post office seven times in the past two days, skyler is fucking vitamin d deficient despite living in alola her whole life, midori is out here bullying infant oshawott pups and ieke got fucking stopped at customs cause he brought a 4 lb tub of kimchi with him (???????)

anyway midori aita below

"aita for calling my girlfriend's oshawott kind of fugly

i (m16) am a student of blueberry academy; i'm from the alola region, so there a lot of pokemon at bba that i don't see very frequently, and this is awesome most of the time! recently, my girlfriend's (f15) samurott gave birth to an oshawott, which i have been VERY enthusiastic about, and im very prepared to be an active part of this oshawott's life. i did a lot of research about caring for the pups but the first time i ever actually saw a newborn oshawott was when her samurott gave birth. (my friends are clowning on me because apparently "bruh you couldn't have done that much research on the fuckin oshawott if you dont know what its supposed to look like") because i didn't know what newborn oshawotts are supposed to look like, i didn't realize they're just built that small and wrinkly, so when i saw the pup for the first time i thought it was diseased, and when my girlfriend corrected and explained to me that they're supposed to look like that, i said (aspen note: CHAT I CANNOT MAKE THIS NEXT PART UP.)

"oh so they're just fugly, sick! in a kinda cute way i guess"

my gf became very upset and told me that i was being mean and that i needed to think about how i'm going to act around the oshawott pup if i want to be part of it's life, and all my friends (m15, m16, m16, f17, m17) (aspen note: RIGHTFULLY SO) are making fun of me and saying she's too good for me because they would've dumped my ass on the spot, but i don't think i did anything wrong. AITA?"

[emaistome]

Through the years, the A song of Ice and Fire Universe has blessed us with amazing, and nuanced characters. But there are some of them who are purely evil, and I’m referring to characters like Euron Greyjoy, Geoffrey Lannister and Ramsey Bolton. Our question for today is where does Aegon II from HOTD stands in between them all?

Aegon is the first son of King Viserys Targaryen by his second wife, Alicent Hightower. From the day he was born, everyone expected him to be name heir, but his father kept his older sister, the princess Rhaenyra Targaryen the heir to the Iron throne, despite the Andal Tradition and the precedent established by the Great Council of 101, stating that the succession would follow absolute male primogeniture.

He was neglected by his father, who was sick at the time and didn’t really love or care about his four children with Alicent. And his mother was physically abusive, meaning that she used to slap him when he did wrong things. Aegon did a lot of wrong things. Like raping servants, drinking, and watching children fight in the pits of Flea Bottom. He is also aware that he is not loved by his parents, which is partially true and says that he tries a lot to make them feel proud of him but it never works. The people around him forced him to usurp the throne, which was rightfully his sister’s.

I think that Aegon is a badly written character simply because the writers want to make us feel bad for him while simultaneously presenting him as pure evil, or at least they do very little nuance him as a character. Aegon does unarguably the worst things someone could do in the first season of the show, we are not told why he did, and there’s no balance between some good things that he may have done and all the disgusting things he does. He doesn’t have any goal that might make people feel interested about the things he might do in the future. Even the things he says that he tries to do to please his parents are not shown.

In fact when he says all that, it feels more like gaslighting because the discussion was not about him being lazy, or not trying hard enough, it was about him raping a young girl, but he tried to turn the discussion about this totally unrelated subject. Even if we consider what he says about trying hard, the context of the discussion just proves that he was lying. Because it’s not very difficult to not rape the maids in the castle, and just go to a brothel, like he does all the time. On top of that he’s the last person to wake up in the castle, even the little children that he has, have already woken up, and there’s an important meeting that he doesn’t even know about.

It’s not even the worst thing that he does; personally, I think that watching children fight to death is worse. And there’s no build up to it, again we just have accept that he does just like watching children die. He is objectively evil, with no redeemable quality. I know his parents didn’t like him but it is not written in a way, that it could explain why he is the way he is, or at least the writers failed to frame it that way, especially considering that he’s a prince who was raised and pampered in a castle.

As a character he makes me think of a failed male version of Pearl. They have a lot in common:

• Their very religious and conservative mother;

• The sick father;

• The need to leave the place that they live in;

• The fact that they seem to be born evil, even though only Pearl recognizes it.

The first difference is that the movie was about Pearl, her life and her feelings, while Aegon had little screen time in a show that discusses mainly the struggles of women in a feudal and patriarchal setting, and he iss a rapist who doesn’t face the consequences of his crimes because the system protects him. He’s the antagonist.

Second of all, Pearl has all the things that might make you sympathize with a villain, she does good things by taking care of her sick father and working hardly in her family’s farm. On the other side Aegon seems so lazy, and is always bored, he does wrong things and it’s all he does. We can’t feel bad that his parents don’t love him, because the bar is literally in hell, he still can’t touch it.

Pearl has goals, she wants to become famous and leave the place she leaves in, but Aegon doesn’t have any goal, any purpose, he wants to leave his family but it’s mainly to avoid doing anything serious in his life, while his family might die if they don’t take the throne for themselves, and crown him.

Lastly Pearl does arguably the worst things between them two, she kills all her family but every death has an emotional weight to them.

• She kills her mother because she wanted her to feel as bad as she made her feel about herself;

• Pearl kills her father because she couldn’t leave him all alone in the house, and because she loves him;

• She kills the projectionist because he lied to her, and wanted to abandon her;

• And she kills Mitsy because she thinks that Mitsy is privileged by being younger and blonde, and got the role she wanted.

But Aegon does horrible things just because he finds pleasure in doing them. He doesn’t draw any emotion from the public, outside of disgust and outrage.

In the end, Aegon as a character is like an empty shell. He has nothing to appreciate, and this characterization will have an impact on things that he will do in the future, or how he will react to events like Blood and Cheese. How him going mad after this event will make sense if he never cared in the first place?

In Fire and blood, his characterization was more alike to that of Robert, minus the good humor, but in House of the Dragon, he seems to be an annoying, and whiny type of Geoffrey.

However I still think that Aegon plays some roles in the show quite perfectly:

• Being the embodiment of everything wrong with the feudal system;

• Being a foil to his brother, who thought that he was much better than him but won’t get the throne, because Aegon was the older brother;

• Serves in the development of characters around him especially Alicent who still loves him despite his very bad actions.

His biggest enemy was the time jump, because the writers seriously want us to believe that all his troubles come from his relationship with his parents when he was younger. But the only time we saw him as a child he was still being loved by his father and mother, so it doesn’t seem like they did anything wrong to him. When he grows old Aegon looks like he has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). And for this part I’m gonna extrapolate a lot from what is presented in the show and make a lot of assumptions, because there is little source material to work with

People with BPD, have an unstable image of themselves, difficulties to regulate their emotions, causing an increase in impulsivity, they are thus subjects to intense mood swings, feelings of emptiness and fear of abandonment. Generally important factors in the development of this disorder are from bad parenting styles.

His upbringing seems more that of a quiet type of BPD as there are four types, the impulsive, the petulant, the self-destructive and the quiet. But I digress. The quiet type of BPD is quite different from the others. As the quiet BPD are often overly dependent to their caretakers and in Aegon’s case this caretaker is his mother, Alicent. It is mainly small details that show his dependence to her, like the fact that when they all grow up, he’s the only one to wear green, the color they all wore when they were children, Alicent’s color. For Vaemond’s petition Haleana wore a golden dress and Aemond was dressed in black. But he was wearing green as if he was still dependant on her. In addition at the age of twenty she was waking his up, when everyone had already awoken by themselves. And it may not seem relevant but a lot of times, commentators who try to understand him talk about him as if he was some kind of teenager.

The lack of identity is linked to his position as the only first born son, in his period to not inherit their father’s position. From a societal point of view, if he’s not his father’s heir, what is he going to be? And there is no one to help him find another purpose. His father is often lost in poppy dreams and even when he is not, he cares more about Rhaenyra’s children than his own. On the other side his mother believes that he is going to be king but not because he is deserving of anything or because she loves him, but because she believes that he is going to die if he doesn’t. There has never been anyone around him interested in him as a person enough to show love or appreciation. I mean, they were preparing a coup in order to put him on the Iron Throne and he wasn’t even consentant, he wasn’t event present.

The caretakers also don’t encourage autonomy and erase the child’s sense of self efficacy; the child’s needs are neglected in favor of those of the caretakers. We saw Aegon being belittled by Alicent when he was fourteen, and at the same time she was forcing kingship onto him, and forced him to mary his sister, while all he ever needed was love and appreciation from his parents. He even knows that he is not suited, and doesn’t deserve anything, it’s probably the reason why he wants to leave, and maybe he thinks that everyone’s life would have been better if he wasn’t there.

People with this type of BPD are often somber, moody, quiet, clingy, and very angry on the inside. This is not at all how I would describe book Aegon, who is more impulsive, but it goes quite well for Aegon in the show.

People with BPD often experience feelings of emptiness, and often exhibit very hardcore behaviors in order to fill the void. They are always in search of pleasure, and adrenalin. And for Aegon it is blatant that even when he was only a teenager, he went farer than other children, like masturbating in front of a window, developing drinking habits and using sextoys (dildos). The more time passes the farer he goes, he drinks more, and rapes servants and watches children fight to death, all to fill the void left by the absence of his identity. These are traits that are most likely to be found in a self-destructive Borderline person. They come from quite explosive environments, and have a lot of repressed feelings, mostly anger from never getting their needs met. And it often creates anxiety and depression. This type is like the other, they are simply vacillating, between obedience and recklessness, impulsivity and indecisiveness. And I think that we will get more

In conclusion, out of all four of Alicent’s children Aegon is possibly the one who resembles her the most. Anyone barely shows love or interest towards them for who they are, they are both forced to marry people they don’t like and take responsibility for things that they don’t want. The biggest difference is that by being a man, and a prince, Aegon is allowed to fill the void in him as he wants, because he still enjoys the highest of the privileges. While on the other side Alicent was a woman, and daughter to a second son, who had a name, but no land, and had to cling to other people and be more careful in order to stay relevant. I think that Aegon is a little hill made of suppressed needs and emptiness that come back as anger, self loathing, and an insatiable need of pleasure. Although it can appear to work it doesn’t, because his characterization is like a scenario where Georges R.R. Martin started Tyrion’s, story with all the things that he did in the later book, without all the build up to it. The cracks will inevitably appear in s2 when he will have to show more emotions, like care for his family, while he lets his bastards in the pits, and doesn’t care about his wife and children. The only interesting things about him are his relationships with Alicent and Aemond.

[bebx]

tw: abuse, victim-blaming, the Johnny / Amber situation

I told myself I wasn’t going to talk about this again. Johnny has moved on and has left that chapter of his life behind and is glowing and healing. and I am so happy, so so beyond proud of him.

so I’m sorry for not being able to help it and having to bring this up again, because not only is it frustrating but it’s also very very triggering to see some people still use those inappropriate texts Johnny sent to his friend, Paul Bettany, in private, to try to paint him as this bad guy they so desperately want him to be. where in those texts he said inappropriate things about her, because he was venting to a friend after he’s been mentally and physically abused by her for years. but hey, since Johnny is a man, it’s oh so terrifying that he said mean things about his own abuser, who happens to be a woman. and therefore these texts alone must mean he was the “bad guy” in their relationship, because he said terrible things about her after he’s been mentally and physically abused for years, and it must mean she was this poor victim even if there’s solid evidence of her having mentally and physically abused him, one of which is her admitting, in her own voice, to having started physical fights, abusing him, calling him a baby when he chose to peacefully walk away instead of fighting with her, and daring him to tell the world that he, a man, was a victim too of domestic violence and see how many people believe or side with him, those were caught on tape in her own voice. let’s not forget those CCTV footages, the police / medical records and dozens of other eyewitnesses who confirmed she was the abuser, not Johnny. or the fact that she was the one who was previously arrested for domestic violence against her at-that-time girlfriend. or the fact she lied and was exposed when she said she’d donated money to sick children (literally I don’t care what she does with her money. she has the rights to keep those money, since it’s hers, and to not donate anything, it’s the fact she lied and literally used dying children as a tool to make herself look good — by saying she’d donated it all when it fact she did not donate anything and was later exposed for it — that disgusts me).

but because Johnny is a man, it’s so vile that he would say terrible things about his own female abuser in private text messages, when he was venting to a friend, because she was abusing him.

look at those tweets from our abuse apologist, Caitlin

I must say at least the ratio Caitlin has been receiving nonstop (these are only some of them) quite gives me hope in humanity. but I truly hope they learn and educate themself because, god forbid, if they were to find themself in an abusive relationship with someone (and I truly hope they never have to go through that) and were to say messed up things about their own abuser, I genuinely hope no one invalidates their being a victim because they said messed up things about their abuser behind said abuser’s back.

again, this will most likely be the last time I talk about this. so if you sent me something in my inbox, whether it’s to agree with me or to tell me to unalive myself (if you’re one of those abuse apologists who cannot except the fact that women can be abusers and men can be victims and that abuse has no gender) I’d have to respectfully ignore, and move on with my life. because I’m not looking forward to having any back and forth conversation regarding this topic again. Johnny has moved on. it’s over. he rightfully won.

last but not least, I’m happy that Johnny got his justice and is healing, living his best life. I am beyond proud of him for how strong he is and how far he’s come. that man is my strength and my hero.

[stilldancewithyou]

I'm Sorry, but why be team Conrad means that you can't have some grace for Jeremiah? Belly made a mess and it's okay to admit. She kissed Jere three times, asked him for going to the ball. They were hearing towards something. He found out his mom hás cancer and is probably dying the night before and he can have a moment? People act like he has no right to have feelings while excusing Conrad. Belly kissed two brothers in three days. Comparing with Cam's situation makes no sense. Cam mom's isn't dying and he doesn't have years of friendship and complicated feelings with Belly than Jere has. Also, in the begining of the Second book Jeremiah is rightfully mad at Belly, who supposed to be his best friend, for abandoning him while his mother was dying because she (as always) had drama with Contas. It's not about him not linking she was there for Conrad. Also, I hope Jenny drop the ridicolous "cheating" storyline because It was a cheap mechanism to get Belly and Conrad toghether without make them look bad because they had tears to sort out their relationship and Belly had a serious relationship with Conrad's brother. Also, If Jenny wanted keep the cheating storyline she shouldn't have made Jeremiah bisexual and perpetuate a disgusting steryotype. Conrad and Belly should be able to be toghether without destroy Jeremiah character, Jenny just need to be Brave and not take the easy, boring road.

I think you must be new here or you have only read a select few of my posts because I know I have said before that all of the characters deserve empathy and grace. All of the kids are messy and make dumb mistakes and hurt each other, but given what they are all going through, it's understandable. Losing Susannah was hard on all of them. For Jeremiah and Conrad because it's their mother, but also for Steven and Belly, since they also love Susannah and she is a bonus mom/an aunt to them. And it's also even harder to go through all of that at their age AND when it's the first death of someone you love you've ever had to deal with (which it is for all of them). I lost a very close family member (before I ever read the books) and when I tell you I felt all of their pain through all of the books...I feel for these kids, I really do.

It seems like we may be misunderstanding each other a little here...I assume you are responding to the most recent asks I answered and I think you are taking those responses out of context. I was talking specifically about the season 2 trailer and the sneak peek of Belly talking to Jeremiah about her and Conrad. And I will stand by what I said before- I don't think there is any excuse to talk to someone that way (and to yell at her that line about his mom dying. Belly already knew, was also hurting about it, and clearly felt like shit for what she was doing to him). In my personal opinion, you can explain someone's behavior, but nothing excuses it. In the end, we are all responsible for our own actions and the things we say. And yes, I will agree everything Jeremiah was going through at that moment was a lot and he was in pain, and Belly broke his heart on top of everything with Susannah. And that explains why he reacted that way, but it doesn't excuse his behavior. He knew it wasn't right to yell at her like that, but he wanted to make her feel like shit in that moment so he didn't care. Also, I was talking about a specific line She says in the trailer, "I was so focused on being there for Conrad, and I should've been there for you too" which is heard after Jere yells "We hooked up and then you hooked up with my brother!" and while I think his feelings are valid, Conrad also deserved to have Belly be there for him when he really, really needed her, and she shouldn't have to feel bad for that. I could be interpreting this wrong, but the way she said it made it sound like she was talking about when she and Conrad were dating and Susannah was sick, it wasn't that there was drama with him or they were fighting, she was just comforting her boyfriend Conrad and she put all of her energy into Conrad. It's an impossible situation to navigate, and no matter what she did someone would have been hurt. I think also in the 2nd book and season 2, she feels weird talking to Jeremiah after everything because he got all weird and upset and we know in the show he yelled at her that they're no longer friends. Yeah, Belly shouldn't have bounced between the brothers like that and she definitely hurt Jere, but Jere also made his own bed. In the books, she actually rejects Jeremiah in book 1 when he confesses his feelings and then he acts kinda weird and jealous at the end. There this little bit at the very end of book 1 after she kisses Conrad where Belly, Jere and Con are swimming in the pool together and Conrad flirts with Belly and touches her hair (or something along those lines) and Belly sees Jere looking at them all weird and jealous and it makes her feel weird and bad because she knows she's hurting him. It wasn't right that she stopped talking to Jere and didn't give him support when Susannah was dying, but I think she just didn't know if he even wanted to speak to her (it's not like he ever called her) and she felt like he was mad at her (which he is).

I think it's worth mentioning that when Belly chose Jeremiah for the deb ball, Conrad told her she made the right choice even though he was hurt and really wanted it to be him. He also never made her feel bad for choosing Jeremiah in book 2, never at any point said anything to her about her wanting to be with Jeremiah, he never even got angry at her for kissing Jeremiah or for ultimately choosing Jere (and I know people are going to say that was different bc Conrad told Jeremiah he could have her, but in the end it was up to Belly, and she could have picked Conrad, but she didn't) and in the 3rd book he didn't say anything rude or angry to her even when he found out about the engagement, he only got upset at the end when he found out that Jeremiah had cheated on her and she was okay with it (and btw, that's one big reason the cheating thing is important to begin with. it's the thing that makes Conrad admit his feelings). But Jeremiah makes her feel like shit for liking Conrad and wanting to be with him, and then he's a jerk to Conrad (his own brother!) and goes out of his way to rub the fact that Belly picked him in Conrad's face.

I don't think anything I say will change your mind so I won't waste much more energy on explaining this, but the cheating was important and it was basically the center of the book 3 storyline. I LOVED the 3rd book and from the time I first read it I could imagine how well it would play out on screen and the whole insane wedding thing would make such good material for a show. I truly do not understand how people are so against it. It's like a soap opera. And with these actors it will AMAZING. Also Conrad's POV is the best.

I don't understand why everyone is coming at me about the cheating thing. Idk what y'all want me to say or why you're all so mad about it, I literally do not get it. I'm sorry I want the show to follow the books I guess? I didn't think that was such a crazy outlandish thing to say. I also would strongly advise you to enjoy season 2 and then take all the time between s2 and when s3 comes out to prepare yourselves, because the show is already following the books so closely that I feel pretty confident saying s3 will follow the books as well, Jeremiah will probably "cheat" and then propose to Belly and we will get to see them planning the wedding all summer with help from Taylor and Belly's new college friends. Also please remember that I didn't write the book.

[paleneckauthorcowboy]

This is the next fic in the timeline, c!Kestin is in a new invirment and he's not doing great. TW!! Discussion of a toxic relationship, HABIT just being HABIT, brief implication of death.

I'm alive, I don't know how or why but I am. It's been a few weeks since I woke up here in New Jersey. I was found in the middle of the woods by a kind man, his name is Evan. He brought me back to his place, which is where I am staying now. Evan said that I could stay as long as I need, at least until I can get back up on my feet.

He's a total sweetheart; I mean, he checks up on me a lot and asks me about my day. He's one of the kindest men I've ever met, not to mention that he's kind of a goofball. He seems to go out of his way to try and make me laugh. It just feels like I could talk to him for hours and never get tired of it. 

He seemed very curious about my past, rightfully so; I mean I am technically just some guy that he found passed out in the middle of the woods. Despite all of his questions about my life before, I always just gave generic answers, never daring to go into any detail, out of fear that if he knew that he'd just think I was crazy and make me leave. But, things can change so fast; whether I like it or not.

I had been feeling pretty awful almost all day, not due to anything Evan had done. I just couldn't get out of my own head and just kept thinking about the past. I could get HIM out of my mind, the him in question being Alex. My now Ex-fiance, it hurt a lot to look back on his actions with my rose colored glasses removed, I could see every little thing I missed. Did he truly love me or was what he did just a clever ploy to stop further infection of the operator sickness? Would he have actually killed me if I hadn't done it myself? 

I'm fairly certain that anyone within a 12 mile radius could tell that I was upset, especially Evan or at least who I thought was Evan. He playfully nudged me, trying to get me to look at him or look at something that he was doing. "Evan... please I'm really tired, so could you please stop it." I spoke in a slightly serious tone, as much as I love his antics; I just don't have the energy for it right now. 

I feel his fingers on my cheeks and his palm under my chin, I tense very noticeably at the sudden touch but do nothing. I then feel him abruptly squeeze my face and yank it towards him, essentially forcing me to look at him. "I'm not Evan... also, don't you think it's a bit rude to lie, sweetheart?"  He asked what felt like a condescending tone, or like he was trying to scare me. Unfortunately, panic responded before I could think. I pushed him off of me with a rough shove. He fell off of the couch with a loud thud.

I felt instant regret as my mind raced, "Oh my gosh... I'm so- I didn't- sorry I just- I'm sorry.." I couldn't seem to string together a fully comprehensive sentence, my own distress causing anything I say to come out faster than my brain could process. I was trying to reach out for him, but I only got about half way until I pulled back; planting my hands into my lap, as if to stop myself from causing any additional damage. 

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that... I just- didn't think before I acted." I did my best to explain, I felt my hands shaking, but I wasn't scared of him hurting me, I could handle that. What I'm really scared of is him hating me or even just simply being mad at me. "I'm sorry.." I apologized again, my throat burned as I swallowed hard; doing everything in my power to not let the hot tears pricking at the corners of my eyes fall. "Woah, come on don't get you boxers in a bunch. It's fine, I'm not mad." He broke the awkward silence, trying to lighten the mood.

"Okay, I'm sorr-'' before I could finish my sentence he put his finger up to my mouth and shushed me. "Hun, you apologize way too much." He smirked at me, although his tone sounded a little bit annoyed. When he called me hun, it almost made my heart skip a beat, but at the same time it... hurt. "Please don't call me 'hun', I only really let people I'm close to call me pet names." I very gently pushed his hand away, looking him in the eyes with a semi serious look. 'His eyes are really pretty.' I thought to myself. 

Then I internally panicked at 'no no fuck why?' Do I like him? I think I do but I'm not sure. I looked away from him, focusing my gaze on the floor. "Well, then we need to get to know each other and get close. I'm Habit, I'm the demon who possesses your little boyfriend, and you don't need to introduce yourself, I already know who you are." He replied still with that smirk on his face, he leaned in close to me. I instinctively lean back and put my hands up, ready to push him back again.

"What- he not my boyfriend! We're not- I mean that's not to say I don't like him- like he's cute- I mean... uhh I don't know, I just know we're not dating!" I felt my stomach tighten, words once again fell out of my mouth before I really thought about what I was saying. "What I'm hearing is that you like him. Why not just go for it?" Habit asked, leaning in closer. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back, just hard enough for him to get that I was uncomfortable.

"Because- I don't know I'm just... not ready to enter another relationship." I didn't even realize what I said until I heard Habit chuckle. "Another relationship? What? did you just have a bad breakup?" He seemed just be joking around but it was enough to push me over the edge. The dam broke and I felt warm tears stain my cheeks. He stopped laughing, just staring at me with a look that said 'oh shit, I didn't mean to do that.' 

"Oh, I'll take that as a yes. Uh, sorry. Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, awkwardly patting my shoulder. I just broke, I couldn't hide how I felt, or the things that I went through anymore. "I just got out of a pretty unhealthy relationship just before Evan found me.. it wasn't always bad. It was just the time around the end of the relationship that was... not great." I spoke crossing my arms over my chest, Habit looked at me, waiting for me to continue. 

"He... my Ex-fiance... was kind of extremely manipulative and ended up isolating me from any other support system other than him... and then he kind of walked away for a bit, leaving me completely isolated. He also kind of was insane..." I explained Habit didn't look happy, understandably so. "So, he cut you off from everyone you loved and just left you alone? He sounds like a real piece of shit." He said through gritted teeth. I just looked down. "Yeah, I guess. He wasn't alway like that though, he used to be kind of sweet." I mumbled to myself, Habit shook his head. 

"The reason I can't just 'go for it' is because I know that I'm not over my ex, it wouldn't be right to start a new relationship when I'm still thinking of someone else. I'd only possibly hurt him and myself in the process." I explained further, Habit nodded. "That's understandable." He shrugs and stands up before plopping back down on the couch. "I... I do like him. I just need time to process what I feel and what I've gone through before I try to do anything." I got up and sat on the couch as well. Calming myself down.

 "I understand that and so does he. We are more than willing to wait for you for as long is needed. I promise you." He put a hand on my shoulder and I tensed up, he noticed almost immediately and tried to retract his hand. I grabbed it and gave it a nice squeeze. "Thank you, I don't think you understand how much that means to me." He squeezed my hand back, "my pleasure." We just sat there holding each other's hand for a little while.

They kept true to their promise and stayed right by my side for my entire journey of healing. And, when I was finally ready. I asked both Evan and Habit out, but that's a story for another day. For now I'll just enjoy my own version of happily ever after.

[nyxknocks]

This was a bland movie. Typically I try to steer clear of the synopsis for these films so I don't get influenced by anything else, but I skimmed this one and even with that it is so... vague. Nothing felt particularly cohesive throughout this film to me. It fits the more slice of life type of cut of just. Randomness. But it's also not random? The synopsis fit because this was such a long (feeling) movie fully of nothing.

Everyone hates Okin (?) for being a moneylender/loan shark type thing which like, rightfully so. She is insufferable in this movie too, but the other's don't seem much... better? Everyone is flawed which is realistic I suppose. It seems with Okin and Otomi (I think?) both seem to hate the fact they're aging as both of unsaid references to it. (Like the literal mirror scene with Otomi and her daughter. Youth vs aging. Then Okin's scene with the covered mirror where her fake smile falls). The sick one (Tamae?) has a rough relationship with her son because of the dad dying (And what's up with her making her son call her 'sister'?????? Can you say "emotional incest"). The other one is. I have no idea. Just there. Trying to have a kid I guess. You go girl.

While I don't like Okin by any means, I understand aspects of her character fairly well. They show her extremely securing her home at night to sleep, which I think tells a lot about her character. They make it a joke to say she hates men (and like.. everything under the sun apparently) but she was almost killed? Why does everyone gloss over that? The dude comes around too and everyone tells him to go see her!!!! What!!! The fuck!!! He tried to murder her?! And then they're implying that he deserves compensation for it because he went to jail and can't get a job now? I'm so confused. Like, y'all hate her, I get that, but did you hate her before or after the attempted murder. They're haters fr.

Also showing up to ask for money..... the audacity. Then her "great love" doing the same??? Diabolical. Whatever she did in her past life clearly came for her in this one because damn.

I truly don't see how this film is so highly regarded. Granted, I am extremely tired watching it and maybe I'm missing something? But this was a slogfest. None of these characters were interesting. It felt like just 4 days of catty old women being stingy and hateful. Like I said, I think part of Okin's is justifiable to an extent. She was almost killed. But damn.

The only credit I can give this movie is the very small and subtle nods to Okin's trauma. Also, deaf representation! Hate how they interacted with her though. I absolutely hated the sudden pivot to internal monologuing, too, because I feel like this movie did fairly decent with showing things without having to explicitly state it (the mirror, the dude's leg shaking before he got trashed to beg for money, etc). Definitely gonna read other posts and can't wait for the discussion in class because what.

What.

[heartlessfujoshi]

flufftober day 9 - aziracrow 'old friends'

Title: Old Friends Chapter: 2 of 6 Fandom: Good Omens Pairing: AziraCrow (Aziraphale x Crowley) Rating: Teen (Tooth-Rotting Fluff - Timeline what Timeline - Old Married Couple without being married) WordCount: ~2,120 Prompt: Happiness at First Sight

Read: Ch 1

---

The gentle purr of the Bentley was putting Crowley into a calm state, after arguing with a penniless beggar who wanted everything in the world handed to them on a silver platter. Crowley wasn’t about that life. Sure, he could have made it easier for the beggar, but then what lesson would that teach them? He was a demon, after all. It couldn’t be all fun and games all the time, could it? He knew of someone that would say that yes, it could be, but he wasn’t about to think about that being right now. That would be pointless. 

His foot pushed down on the gas pedal, speeding through London as if he didn’t exist. Reaching over, he turned up the radio, listening to one of his favorite Queen songs. Ah, Queen was truly one of the best bands to have ever existed. There was something about Freddie Mercury’s voice that sung to his heart. A fellow that knew his way around heartache and heartbreak, much like himself. 

The Bentley slowed down as it came around the bend, and found a place to park on the very busy street. Crowley sighed, but knew that this was what had to be done. He had been staying away from London for five months now, and was getting tired of feeling a bit lonely. Not that he would admit to that. No, never. 

He’d left London after taking in the show with Aziraphale. After he’d given him the suit that he’d left back at his flat after running out of town, afraid that the suit would taint him in some way. Which he knew was ridiculous, as it was just a piece of clothing. But because it had been a gift from his dearest friend, it had stayed at home, locked away so that no one else could see it again. Including himself. 

Crowley felt a tiny bit bad, because he hadn’t told Aziraphale where he was going. He kissed his hand, and had run away like the coward that he was. So stupid, if you think about it. Which he did, more often than he would have liked. Replaying the way Aziraphale’s eyes had lit up the moment he’d kissed the back of his hand. The way his smile shone bright above all other beings. His angelic demeanor, which should annoy him, did anything but that. Aziraphale was a true delight. 

Too bad he was slowly discovering he was madly in love with him. Or, what humans equate to love. Crowley thought it was all hogwash. Love was something that Heaven made up to make others feel the need to settle down and procreate. Demons don’t know the meaning of the word ‘love’, or any sort of sentiment around it. Love wasn’t real. 

But being around Aziraphale made Crowley feel differently. 

Looking down at his feet, he knew he was going to have to do a lot of groveling to his friend, and rightfully so. He would get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness, if that was what Aziraphale asked him to do. But he wouldn’t, because Aziraphale was too nice. Crowley would have made him do that, if Aziraphale ever did anything to warrant that sort of torture. Which he didn’t, because hello - he’s an angel. Of course he would never need to do anything like that because he was good. 

Made him sick, it did. 

He put his hand on the knob of the door to AZ Fell, and entered into the bookshop. It smelled of old musty tomes, all of which were handpicked by Aziraphale to remain in the shop. The angel never sold a one. It was more or less a front for his own personal collection, which amused Crowley to no end. He had to hand it to him - Aziraphale had found the perfect way to interact with the humans, yet remain on the neutral side as this was a safe haven of sorts. 

“Be right with you!” Aziraphale’s voice drifted down from the second floor. “Please do not touch anything on top of any bookshelves.” 

Crowley bit back a witty remark, knowing that if he spoke, it might make the angel upset. And he wasn’t here to make him upset. No, he was here to apologize for leaving London without a word. 

Aziraphale began to walk down the stairs, and all Crowley could do was stare in wonder. The light seemed to shine wherever Aziraphale went, framing him in the most glorious halo of light. It was in that moment that Crowley knew that this was what true happiness was. Some might say it was love at first sight, but again, he was a demon and didn’t abide by those Heavenly feelings. Happiness, though - demons could enjoy that from time to time. Not very often, but it wasn’t unheard of. 

Seeing his best friend with his nose in a book as he walked down the flight of stairs as if he didn’t have a care in the world - it was the most beautiful and serene picture of Aziraphale that Crowley had ever seen. His chest hurt in a way that he knew wasn’t heartburn, but something else entirely. The pain in his chest was a dull ache, which slowly grew into something warm that he wasn’t accustomed to. The heat of, dare he admit it, love. 

“How may I help you today?” Aziraphale asked him, his head still stuck in his book. 

Crowley leaned over the counter, while Aziraphale took up his place next to the till, still researching whatever tome was in his hand. He placed his elbow on the counter, and dropped his chin onto his hand, as he tilted his head to look at his best friend, who was so enthralled by his book that Crowley couldn’t help but be equally enthralled by Aziraphale himself. The angel took his breath away, quite literally, and it surprised him every single time he returned to his graces, after any amount of time apart. 

“Thought I might pick up a rare edition of the Kama Sutra.” Crowley mentioned, before standing back up, knowing that that would get Aziraphale’s attention. 

“Crowley.” His friend whispered his name, as if it were a simple prayer sent up to Heaven for guidance. The book he was holding was soon closed, and he was graced by his angelic eyes now resting on his own. He reached up and took his sunglasses off, knowing that he could be himself around his friend. “You’re here.” 

“That I am, Angel.” He smiled, happy to see Aziraphale was so happy to see him. “Did you miss me?” 

“You were gone?”

Ouch. That hurt in a way that Crowley wasn’t expecting at all. But then he saw Aziraphale smirk, which made him shake his finger at him. “That’s not very nice, Aziraphale.” 

“I wish I could say that I was sorry, but you had that coming to you, I’m afraid.” Aziraphale set the book down on the counter, and leaned forward. “Where have you been, dear?” 

“Everywhere.” He turned around, resting his back against the counter. He could feel Aziraphale’s presence behind him, which was nice. Not only did it feel nice to have his friend so close to him again, but the angelic radiance that shone off of him was beaming onto him, keeping him nice and toasty in a way that was almost therapeutic. “Do you know how long I’ve been gone?” He was curious to know if Aziraphale had noticed. 

“Five months, two days, and thirteen hours.” Aziraphale commented, before resting his forehead against Crowley’s shoulder. “Was the suit too much? I thought it made you happy.” 

Blushing, though he’d never admit it was a blush, Crowley reached up and touched Aziraphale’s hand, which was now resting on his shoulder. “It did make me happy. But you can’t be giving me gifts like that.” 

“Why not?” Aziraphale sounded put out by the idea. “I happen to think I should buy you more gifts. You always buy me pretty things. Why can’t I return the favor?” 

“Angel, I bring you books.” Crowley shook his head. “Those aren’t pretty things.” 

“They are to me!” 

The angel did have a point. He did know that Aziraphale preferred books to all other trinkets. There had been a few times where Crowley had thought to purchase something a little more - maybe a necklace, or a nice pocket watch. No, wait. He had bought him the pocket watch that Aziraphale was using more nowadays than when he’d initially purchased it for him back in the 1850s. 

Turning around, he grabbed both of Aziraphale’s hands without so much of a thought as he looked into his eyes. “I’m sorry to say that I didn’t bring you any books today.” 

“Oh, Crowley - I don’t need books today.” The look in Aziraphale’s eyes had his heart beating in a faster tempo than he was used to. “You’re here now. That’s enough for me.” 

He couldn’t help but smile, pleased to be in the angel’s presence again. “You’re not mad I skipped off without a word?” 

“Crowley, if I got mad because of that, we would have stopped talking millenia ago.” 

“True.” Crowley chuckled, pleased to see Aziraphale in such high spirits. Again, it was that strange sense of happiness that the angel brought to him that had him seeking him out. “Have you been busy?” 

“I never answered your question, dear.” Aziraphale turned around, and began to look at books on the shelf. 

“What question was that?” 

“If I missed you.” 

“Oh, that.” Crowley blew a loud sigh out of his mouth. “Eh, you don’t have to tell me if you did, or if you didn’t. It doesn’t really matter, does it? I’m here now.” 

“Yes, you are.” Aziraphale moved from behind the counter, and came to stand directly in front of him. His arms raised up, and Crowley answered the silent call of raising his own arms, the two coming together for a very nice hug. He wrapped his arms around the angel’s rotund frame, hugging him as close as he could without hurting him. “I missed you very much, Crowley.” Aziraphale whispered into his ear. “I hate when you leave me. Please, don’t do it again?” 

Closing his eyes, he could feel his chest hurting this time in a not so pleasant manner. “I will do what I can, Angel.” 

“That’s all I ask, Crowley.”

He kept his arms around him, holding him close as they basked in the quietness of the shop. Again, that feeling of happiness returned, as there was no one else on this planet that could make him feel the way that Aziraphale made him feel. The angel got under his skin in ways that he was too afraid to admit, but he knew that Aziraphale knew. His angel was too smart for his own good, and knew that by complimenting him, he would keep coming back to him. 

“Should we get some lunch at the Ritz?” Aziraphale asked, stepping away from him after what felt like an eternity. “I’m feeling a bit peckish, how about you?” 

“I could go for a drink.” Crowley didn’t really care for human food, unlike the angel who seemed to love it with a passion. He wondered at times why Aziraphale hadn’t curated a restaurant, rather than curating a bookshop that would never sell any books. At least he would enjoy the food. Ah, but Aziraphale did enjoy the books on his own, so that was a wash of an idea. 

“Then it’s settled.” The angel offered him his arm, which Crowley happily took. “We have lots to catch up on, Crowley.” 

“Do we now?” He asked, intrigued by the way that Aziraphale was now talking. “I haven’t been gone for that long, Angel. Surely nothing major could have happened while I was away?” 

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” They left the bookshop, Aziraphale locking up before retaking Crowley’s arm. He led him over to the Bentley, which honked hello to the angel. “Hello!” Aziraphale patted the hood with a fondness that made Crowley see red. 

“Hey, now.” He reached for Aziraphale’s hand, not at all liking the way it made him feel to see his angel touch his car in such a fashion. 

“Jealous, dear?” There was a playful smirk on Aziraphale’s face, as he got into the passenger seat. “Don’t worry - I only have eyes for you.” 

As if the world was against him, as soon as he got into the car, the stereo began to play The Flamingos. “Oh, shut up.” He growled in annoyance, as he listened to Aziraphale’s gay laughter.

Maybe five months away wasn’t long enough. 

---

Cross-posted to AO3

[misspickman]

curious about all of them but ESPECIALLY theory: existence is a mirror 👀

oh ive been wrestling with this one for a while and probably will continue to, its a tim's mental issues fic bc ive seen a lot of stuff about him being depressed/passively or actively suicidal but none of it really sat right with me so im trying to figure out how i think this would manifest with the character, but its tim and hes difficult. much to think about. so unfortunately this wip is a mess and im not working on it actively bc its so hard to get the vibes right and its frustrating. anyway heres a bit

“Don't you have anything better to do,” Leslie asks—complains—as she digs out a bullet out of his shoulder on a beautiful Friday night, “than run around clobbering people all night?” 

“Crime doesn't sleep.” 

“No, but you should. And you are not the only one for this job, are you?” she points out. Rightfully. Tim still feels unnecessarily defensive and just barely stops himself from trying to prove to her how needed he is out there, actually. “You're too young for this to be the only thing you do.”

That takes him aback. This is the sort of conversation that Leslie usually unleashes on Bruce. It feels… painfully unearned to be getting it in his place. 

He doesn't want to be a part of this discussion. He'll leave that to Bruce, Leslie and Alfred to ponder over, and he can go back to his work as soon as Leslie's done wrapping up his shoulder. The only reason he's here and not doing it in front of his bathroom mirror anyway is because Helena decided to play protective and basically dumped him in front of Leslie's door, and would not let him leave even if he tried. 

It's really not that serious. It's just a shoulder. 

“With all due respect, Leslie—” 

“Tim,” she cuts him off, taking none of it, “with all due respect, you are twenty one and sitting in my clinic with a bullet wound on a Friday night. And I know you're out there every night. Do you even socialize?” 

Tim bristles. It's embarrassing, and makes him feel just as young as she's treating him. “That's none of your business.” 

It doesn't feel good, being rude to Leslie, but it's an instinctive reaction. Tim is well sick and tired of people trying to tell him how to live his life. 

He thinks back on his last attempt to talk to a person his age who isn't involved in any of his vigilante life. He even likes Buzz, he wouldn't mind reconnecting with him, which is what he assumes the sudden invitation was about, but there's nothing like a miserable social interaction where you can't think of a single non-incriminating thing to say to drive home just how unadjusted you are to having a civilian life. 

It had been easier before, back when he had dad and Dana to keep happy with lies, and was basically forced to keep a normal life. Scratch that, it wasn't easier; he agonized over keeping secrets every waking second, he kept two messy lives and never seemed to make enough time for either of them, but it did mean he had some semblance of a normal life. He hadn't thought of it that way back then, but he can see it now. There's none of that left. 

Now, he has more than enough time to dedicate himself to being Red Robin instead of Tim Drake. He thinks he's been doing a pretty good job of it—except, nobody else seems to share his opinion. 

“You'll run yourself ragged until there's nothing left but the cowl,” she says, and Tim has an inkling that this is far from the first time she's said those words.

(title from this poem bc u know. vibes)

[elisethetraveller]

Continued from; @warmongersofzaun

Silco looked back at Sevika, who had accompanied him to visit the mage, who had just moved into Zaun. After a brief exchange of glances, his deputy gave a deep nod and stepped outside of the woman’s house. The low hiss of a lighter, being lit, probably so Sevika could puff a smoke while Silco worked, resounded as the door closed behind her.

Silco walked through the little appartment and pulled out one of the wooden chairs. Wiping it clean of any dust particles, he sat down opposed to the mage. Silco was wearing his coat, deep red collar up, making him look more regal and elegant than was common for the typical Zaunite. He spoke with a smooth, slightly raspy voice, which through its slow pronounciation and calm cadenza easily commanded an entire room:

“Yes, I am. I have heard you are the newest addition to the Lanes. You made a wise choice, not moving to Piltover. They care little for magic users upstream. Up there, you may have never been allowed to roost, but down here, you have all the space, you need to put down roots and with the right circumstances, thrive.”

Silco smiled now, sugary sweet. A shark in the deep blue sea, trying to let its victim forget the rows and rows of teeth in its hungry maw. Heterochromatic eyes gleamed with interest, curiousity but also a certain sense of care. Like a parent, wanting the best for their child.

Silco continued: “I could help you with that, young mage. The Undercity may be a part of PIltover currently, but downstreams.... Well, we do things differently down here. Very differently. Our culture can be a bit disturbing for outsiders. I am merely here to offer you my assistance in making sure you feel welcomed and find your spot among my people as smoothly as possible. If you could do me a favour or two in exchange, nothing too major, I would be the most grateful.”

She did not cough or gasp for air, even if the smog left a sparkling feeling in her lunges, like those pop rock candies, which tickled quite a lot. Elise suspected her magic was counteracting something damaging in the air, but it didn't take long to get used to as she wandered the streets. Everywhere people were desperate; hurt, sick, injured. There was much work she could do here. The mage began in the small, as she often did, people who had no one else to turn to and thus couldn't afford to reject a wild offer for help. Admittedly, she felt bad about taking advantage of their misery, people were rightfully on edge, but it was a necessary step to help more.

It had not taken long for her to set up a base of operations: A derelict little home in the "Lanes" as they were called. It was not much, but already it was improving. A broken arm earned a table, a fever enough pots and pans to stock a meagre kitchen, chairs she found and there had already been a bed in the house when she claimed it. People here did not have much, so she did her best to never ask for a price which could not be paid.

There was something exhilarating about this place. The mage had barely spent a day "top side" as her neighbours called it, but she had heard of their intolerance to magic. It was freeing existing somewhere that wasn't a problem. Or at least, if it was a problem, no one here cared to challenge her. However, that didn't mean she didn't attract attention. Eyes followed her pale form, which stood out like a sore thumb amongst the darkness and neons, on the street. People whispering and pointing. It was nothing unusual. As long as people behaved themselves, Elise did not mind.

However, hen a man, regal in his movements, wearing a good-quality overcoat and with a scarred eye, walked into her workspace accompanied by a brawny woman the mage couldn't help but think that she should have given more attention to the rumours. While she had not previously encountered 'The Eye of Zaun' she had heard about him. An early lesson in her new life had been minding those in power.

"Yes, I must say the city you have forged for yourselves is quite interesting." Interesting, intense and vibrant. It was so alive it could almost chase away the cold of the Void. A Wildstorm of Dandelions escaping through the cracks in the pavement. The mage smiled easily, the same friendly facade she wore when dealing with patients. "Though I must admit, when I settled down here, I wasn't expecting to get prominent company." A naive thought Elise admitted, but still, she had hoped to go unnoticed in the masses. "I must say it is quite the welcome. Had I known I would have cleaned." It was easy to fall into idle chatting when he was only one man. She had always found it difficult to stay on edge.

"Thank you for your interest, however, I must admit that I don't know if I should be honoured or concerned about your offer of assistance." Perhaps being less blatant in her language would do her some good, but Elise had never been a politician. "You call me young," And she knew she looked the part. "but I have been alive long enough to know one favour tends to evolve into several. What would you want my aid with?" It wasn't a refusal, occasionally favours aligned with her aims, but the mage had no interest in getting involved in the local power politics unless forced to do so.

( @warmongersofzaun )

[emocheol]

how seventeen realized you were ‘the one’

seungcheol

when you stayed up all night for him.

seungcheol had texted you and told you to go to sleep hours ago, knowing that he was going to be home late.

but you knew that he had a rough and busy day and you wanted to unwind with him, even if you were on the brink of falling asleep.

he was even later than you both expected, but you were resilient in staying awake. you drank some coffee and moved around the house, making sure you didn’t accidentally fall asleep.

he finally walked into your apartment and was greeted with your sleepy, but still smiling, face.

when you welcomed him home with open arms after he had the worst day ever, he knew that you were it for him.

jeonghan

when you understood his personality.

jeonghan wasn’t a people pleaser by any means. which made him quite blunt.

some people said that his personality was off-putting or that he should have more of a filter.

but you never said that to him.

from the moment you two met you fit like two pieces of a puzzle, he got you and you got him.

when he said something that wasn’t received well he would always look across the room and would see you smiling back at him, at least you got him.

he knew in moments like those that you were absolutely made for him.

joshua

when you met his mother.

when joshua couldn’t make it to the airport to pick his mom up you happily volunteered.

you had never met the woman before but you wanted to get to know the mother of your boyfriend. plus a few brownie points never hurt.

you instantly hit it off with his mother and bonded quickly, spending the whole day with her even when joshua said you didn’t have to.

when he returned home after work he saw the two of you sitting on your living room couch, eating a meal and chatting away like nothing else mattered.

the two most important people in his life were getting along. he knew then and there everything was right in the world and you were positively his soulmate.

jun

when you started crying over a stray cat.

you weren’t an overly sensitive person usually.

but when it came to animals that’s when all your walls broke.

one day you and jun were on a walk when you spotted a small ball of fluff on the side of the road. being the person you were, you had to go and check on it.

when you saw how skinny and scared the little cat was it brought tears to your eyes. you looked up at jun with glassy eyes and begged him to adopt the cat with you.

of course, he couldn’t say no to you.

when he saw how gentle and loving you were it made him fall even deeper in love with you.

soonyoung

when you instantly bonded with his friends.

soonyoung was a big believer that he needed his partner and his friends to all be friends.

so he was rightfully nervous when he introduced you to his closest friends, his 12 bandmates.

he assumed that you would be a little overwhelmed, meeting 12 men at once, some of which that had very loud personalities.

what he didn’t know was that you would mesh instantly with his friends. you all talked, laughed, sang, and got to know each other. all without the help or intervention of soonyoung, he just sat back and watched with a fond smile.

he saw how you fit so perfectly into his life and it made him certain that you were meant to be in it forever.

wonwoo

when you took care of him while he was sick.

wonwoo is used to doing things on his own. he was a caretaker and he was good at it!

but on the rare occasion that he got so sick that he couldn’t do anything he would just lay in bed and wait for it to wash over him.

when you became his partner he didn’t expect you to take care of him, he wasn’t used to it and frankly he thought he didn’t want it.

but one day when he contracted that strong sickness that made him bedridden you ended up by his side all day.

despite his protests about you getting sick you stuck around, feeding him soup and medicine, keeping him company, and getting whatever he wanted.

he wasn’t used to being taken care of but being taken care of by you felt right.

jihoon

when you spent the whole day in his studio.

jihoon had hit a creative block and you volunteered to stay with him in the studio and try to help to the best of your abilities.

he reluctantly let you come. not that he didn’t want you there, he just didn’t want you to see him failing.

but on the contrary you helped him more that he could put into words.

you helped create beats, gave your input whenever he asked, and made sure he took breaks and ate food (something that he often forgot to do).

he knew he was the luckiest man in the world to have someone so kind and caring around him. that day solidified to him that he’d never let you go.

minghao

when you made him feel at home.

minghao loved living in korea, but sometimes he got homesick.

he wasn’t one to complain but whenever he got extra homesick he would drop little hints. he’d talk about how he missed his moms cooking and his childhood.

the first time he did this you immediately thought up a plan to help combat his homesickness.

the next day he came home to a plethora of classic chinese dishes made just like how his mom cooked (you called her for help).

he couldn’t believe that someone would do something so thoughtful just for him. all he could think about while you two ate together was how he couldn’t think of anyone better to spend his life with.

mingyu

when you cooked together.

everyone knows mingyu is a stellar chef.

but what he didn’t know was that you were too.

your relationship heavily involved food and cooking as a love language. you would each cook each other your favorite dishes as signs of affection.

but mingyu’s favorite thing to do was cook with you.

it felt so domestic and so right.

he even liked how you would bicker with him since you each had your own meticulous ways of cooking different meals.

while you’re stirring something on the stove he’ll come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist.

he’ll watch you with the softest eyes, thinking about how lucky he is to have found someone like you.

seokmin

when you didn’t get annoyed with him.

it’s common knowledge that seokmin has quite the loud personality. it was one of the many things that you loved about him.

he knew that it could be annoying to some people, but he couldn’t help it.

but you loved when he would burst out into song for no apparent reason. so much so that you would often join him in song and even try to harmonize.

he loves that you’re never too busy to entertain him, it only makes him fall in love with you more.

now that he’s finally found someone that matches him he won’t even think of letting you go.

seungkwan

when you let him be himself.

seungkwan has always felt pressure to perform. but most times it takes up a lot of his energy.

he’ll come home after a long day of promoting with nearly zero energy yet. and he feels terrible about it.

he was sure that wasn’t what you signed up for when you started dating, so he would apologize and try to use the last of his energy to entertain you.

but you loved seungkwan no matter what. you understood what he was going through and you never pressured him.

you made sure he knew that you didn’t care if he couldn’t crack jokes all the time or be the bubbly personality that he is on camera.

you love him for him. and he loves you, so so much.

vernon

when you listen to the music he likes.

you and vernon had pretty different interests when you first started going out.

so as your relationship progressed you each began to share different parts of your lives with each other. and a big one to vernon was his music.

he didn’t know if you would even like it so he only mentioned it as an offhand comment, not thinking that you’d remember it.

but one day he came home to you dancing around the apartment, his favorite artist blasting on a speaker that you had set up.

you knew all the words to his favorite song.

he couldn’t believe that someone would take the time out of their day just to connect with him like that. in that moment he knew that you were special and he had to keep you forever.

chan

when you let him rant.

being so young and being one of the biggest names in the industry, chan always had a lot on his plate.

he was used to the fast paced life, but that didn’t mean he was always a fan of it.

some nights he would come home late and collapse on the couch, letting you settle in next to him while he went on a tangent about what went wrong that day.

most people would’ve told him to stop complaining or that things weren’t as bad as he thought.

but you didn’t do that. you let him talk and you validated his feelings. you didn’t make him feel inferior or stupid.

the weight on his shoulders always felt lighter after talking to you. when he realized this fact he realized that it was you. everything in his life was fixed with you and you were the only one out there for him.

[campbluelake]

Im running out of Oops I did it again lyrics | ████ 3.5 | re: everyone

Maybe Malyce couldn't find it in himself to be any more angry than he is but Jo feels a familiar feeling. A rage she's felt only twice before. She's sobbing on her knees but, rightfully so, everyone is getting in their verbal punches. Any sane person would agree that ████ deserves far more. Still… Jo can't help but to convince herself that Saya is done with her, her eyes staring hard at the taunt bracelet. That Mason is surely done with her too. That Yua is simply saying they're friends to calm her down. That Tommy is somewhere watching and disgusted she ever touched ████. That if Kyousuke is so sick of her then Eri must be too. She's going to lose everyone. She's going to be alone and have nothing. 

And if you have nothing then you have nothing to lose. 

Her hands wipe away the tears and runny makeup before she slowly gets back to her feet. She looks around at everyone, her breath calming down from her crying but replaced with a different pace. Her face scrunches up in a frown. 

"I couldn't lie about the secrets because LEON had my fake secret which I already TOLD HIM IT WAS FAKE before I fucking knew Warrick had it! If I knew what my other secret was I would have just said Leon had the real one!" 

It's an improvement, maybe, that she's no longer warbly and crying. She sounds fed up and mad. 

"And while I have time left on my clock, can I just say… FUCK. YOU." 

She whips out her arm, pointing at every person she addresses. 

"Fuck you, Kyousuke! I'm sooo sick of your little chill cool guy act when you're probably just a huge dick underneath. I don't fucking trust you for a god damn moment. Fuck you, Hibiki! You're just some god damn old prick who's mad because what? Your life didn't turn out the way you were hoping? Go fuck yourself! Fuck you, Malyce! I might be a murderer but I'll have something you'll never have! A family who actually loves me! Fuck you, Saya! You literally helped Kaede kill someone! Sure, you weren't expecting it to be Nico but also go eat shit if you're going to let this break our friendship, you massive ass!" 

Her body whips around to face Suzy, a special darkness on her features,

 "And you… You want to call me a bitch? At least I'm not some perpetually bitchy dickbag who whines and whines about the shit people did to me in high school. I'm sooo fucking sorry you were bullied by the mean popular girls but guess what. You're just a mean girl that nobody fucking liked and I can see why. You don't deserve friends because you're not nice and you're not loyal. You flip flopping back and forth about liking me or not. Your fucking lie about being worried about others seeing my IDs. Go fuck yourself, Suzy. At least when people were bullying me I finally did something about it. If it wasn't for that damn anti-violence crap I'd break your skull in! Why don't you go cry your stupid ass back to Hot Topic and stay there, you troll!" 

Her breaths are heavy, slowly backing up as far away as the area will let her. 

"All of you can fuck off and die! The only thing I hate more about how I'm dying is that I'm going to die and STILL be stuck with all of you! … Just hurry up and fucking kill me." 

Feeling all the anger and energy leave her Jo just turns her back on them, plopping down in the sand and rain.

[busket]

fuck it im going to treat myself today, long ass post:

first of all if you like this bit of lore thats fine, im not attacking your or saying that your way of enjoying zelda is wrong i just personally dont like it and heres why:

it removes any possibility of evil within the royal family of hyrule; if zelda has the blood of the goddess, then so does her mother and her grandmother and one of her parents and so on and so forth until the very first incarnation of hylia as a human being. were all those people without fault? i know "blood of the goddess" doesn't literally mean "a god, and therefore infallible" but do you think nintendo is going to ever go into depth about any evil that the royal family has done when its a bloodline of a diety thats widely recognized to be the pinnacle of good? thats why they never expanded on fracturing of the sheikah and the creation of the yiga clan. the royal family prosecuted the yiga clan because they were rightfully angry about having to give up their technology. but the game just writes the yiga clan as being foolish and bitter, and that the sheikah tech was better to have not been made (even though it saved hyrule from calamity ganon twice). im sure the yiga clan didn't immediately start out as violent and worshipping ganon because they were just normal people, and it never starts like that. we'll never get a royal family that has gray morality and does some fucked up stuff (like real life monarchies) because nintendo has enforced this divine right of kings in the games.

it removes a lot of zelda's autonomy as a character. what if zelda decides she doesn't want to have kids? she's the very last of the royal family, the last of the goddess' bloodline, so if she wants to pass on her "divine blood" then she must. i feel like she is forced to become a ruler in botw/totk even though the system is completely destroyed and she has no family or authority to tell her what to do; if she really has the goddess' blood i think she would feel like she has no choice. botw was so close with that "what if you didnt want to be a swordsman" memory; it was obvious zelda didnt WANT to be a princess. she felt like she couldn't wield her divine power, and she didnt really want to, she would much rather use the sheikah technology. she was so sick of praying and begging and only did because of the pressure of her father (which is the only semblance of moral grayness we get from the royal family, and even that is washed away as like: oh he had good intentions for abusing his daughter! its ok!!). zelda thrived as a scientist and a researcher and tbh i was kind of disappointed in totk when people were still calling her princess. does she really have intentions of becoming queen after all that she's been through?

it removes any possibility of nuance for ganondorf. just like zelda is the reincarnation of hylia and has the blood of the goddess, ganondorf is evil because of demise's curse. i love ganondorf being evil, i love him as a villain and i dont think i'd really enjoy him being a good guy. BUT i also want a little bit of nuance. wind waker ganondorf (notably written before skyward sword) wasn't a super deep character but he was deeper than any other ganons simply because he stated that he coveted how hyrule was thriving and full of life while his desert was bleak and how his people had to fight to survive. he wanted to take over hyrule because he wanted to be the king of a thriving and powerful nation, and not one that was struggling. still a very selfish motive because its about him as a ruler and not his people, and in his efforts he only destroyed what he was trying to win for himself. and because ww ganondorf IS oot ganondorf, that retroactively makes me enjoy oot ganondorf better as a character too, because its the same motive. but its better than totk's ganondorf who just....wanted everyone to worship him and then wanted to kill everybody because rauru told him what to do (?)

it connects botw and totk to the timeline in a way that i think is really unnecessary. the timeline is just kind of sillyto me and was made as a marketing strategy to sell skyward sword; it was the 25th anniversary and right when SS was coming out nintendo was like "this is the first game in the zelda timeline btw! the one that started it all! yes theres a timeline, we swear we made all these games to be connected, intentionally!!! and skyward sword is the first! play the game to see how the ~legend begins~!!! also buy our book HYRULE HISTORIA to see the timeline." i think botw exists perfectly as a soft reboot of the series and exists nicely outside of the timeline as its own creature. just the fact that both rito and zora exist should be evidence enough that you should just set it aside without having to do backflips to try to connect everything and see where in the timeline fits in. which means, it doesn't have to be connected to skyward sword. hylia clearly exists as a god in botw, BUT i think its so much more interesting to consider the possibility in meta that the myth of the princess carrying the blood of the goddess is just...made up! for propaganda! like, of course a monarchy would say that their lineage is descended from a god. thats so much more interesting to me than it literally being true. and zelda has very powerful sealing powers but individuals with unique magical powers is not uncommon in botw/totk. all the sages have magical powers, link has superhuman reflexes, ganondorf clearly had some ability to make clones of people and create/control monsters before he got his secret stone. zelda's powers may have been given to her by a god (like a dnd cleric situation) but that doesnt mean that she is literally descended from a god and has the blood of that god inside her from her family.

semi related but i also just really dont like how monotheistic tloz became after skyward sword. for me the best zelda pantheon includes the 3 triforce goddesses that created the world, then a wide array of minor and sometimes nameless gods that do other things. like how zephos and cyclos were gods in wind waker, and how the great fairies could be considered to be gods, or the bargainer statues. hylia being worshipped as The Goddess is like...idk i feel like puts the kingdom of hyrule on a pedistal, because she's the goddess of hyrule specifically. i much prefer the people of hyrule worshipping the gods that rule over nature or the gods that created the world at large. i just think polytheism is cool so its disappointing that they all just refer to "the goddess", singular.

ok thats all i can think of thanks for reading my bitching

every day I am so strong for resisting the urge to constantly complain about how much I dislike the lore that zelda has ~~~the blood of the goddess~~~ in her i hate it so much dude it's such doodoo writing i can't stand what skyward sword did