#i already miss him so bad :(
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saw two billboard ads today advertising the game and they were both using spurge and im :(((((((((
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"What do you want? What are you asking for? It's about love? You're being real specific." x
#gerard way#my chemical romance#mcr#mcredit#my edit#userangelic#usermaguire#useriselin#usercy#useroaks#usernaysa#usernine#tuserrobin#Has this already been giffed? Oh well if so!#It's only been a week and I already miss him. I love him bad style. :(
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!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED BEAUTIFUL PRECIOUS 🩵
#ITS HIS BDAY#ITS ALREADY 18 JAN#MY GORGEOUS HUSBAND#cant wait to finish his bday artwork#he means so much to me#he’s such an important part of my life#i love him so much :((((( i wanna make his day special#i miss him so bad#if only touya existed for me id be the happiest girl in the world :(( i love and yearn for him endlessly with each year passing#dabi#touya todoroki#mha dabi#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bnha#mha
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Adam Page: international playboy
#aewedit#wrestlingedit#adam page#hangman adam page#hangman page#pwx wrestling#cwf mid atlantic wrestling#my gif#hanger gif#ik this isn't aew but he is an aew talent and that's the only tag that is activefjvhbjh#he is fascinating to me bc he said on renee's podcast that before marrying he'd been with his wife on and off since high school#and that he didn't know anything about dating bc he's been like a one girl man for the most part#yet here's here trying to be all suave and flirty but it mostly comes across like awkward and adorable like????#i love him so bad i wanna cry 😭#also obsessed with the fact that he doesn't miss a chance to tell the world he is a freakgfjnfjkgnj#question for people more knowledgeable on adam page lore are the girls he's hugging in the audience just 2 random girls he went to hug#bc that'd be unbrearably cute fr lol#or did he know them already or are they like his cousins that'd make things awkward for this gifset lmao#i'd have to delete probs#his smile is so fking cute i will *** myself
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Rook: I'm really worried about Davrin and Lucanis, they keep arguing with one another... Its very bad Varric, what if it effects them in battle?
Varric, remembering that one time Fenris broke Ander's nose then took a knife in the back for him in the same night: I'm sure they'll be fine kid. They're barely even arguing if you ask me
#dragon age#dav spoilers#sorry its so funny to me#varric hearing the veilguard talk about their problems like adults instead of fucking/drinking/fighting their way out of it:#'wow my kirkwall friends really were fucked up losers huh:#'* whoops#i wish veilguard cast was a little bit toxic... i need them to be mean#lucanis should hate me so much more for choosing minrathous over treviso#i was counting on the yummy character drama...#he does trust rook a little bit less cause of it though so ill take that#i do feel bad about treviso im already planning a crow rook to save it and romance lucanis#sorry to compare these two to fenris and anders again i just think its funny#they should let me stick anders in the middle of the lighthouse#his sheer inability to cope with shit in a healthy way would be like setting off another bomb#someone tries to applogize and anders starts on his Bullshit you know what I'm talking about#can you guys tell i miss him. hes so bad at coping babygirl come back to me...#crow rambles
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How much of me is me? (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Papyrus#Another one that I cried to while drawing hehe ♪ Hhhhh I love their dynamic so much <3 <3 ;;#Sans' apparent disinterest in hurting Gaster is deeply interesting to me - we see him punch Gaster in Mercyplates even! :0#I can't help but feel that a good portion of it is Papyrus being there with him when Gaster gives them his arm haha#Would he have been as well-behaved if he'd been by himself? I wonder :)#But generally I read it as him having grown up <3 They've both matured so beautifully by that point it's just ah- such a treat to read#Their transition from their childhood to their teens and young adulthood into themselves is just jdlksafhdsfd it's incredibly well written!#I say ''I wonder'' quite a lot lol but that's just speculation - watching them grow into themselves is So Incredibly satisfying <3#It feels so natural to watch them become themselves ♥ It's beautiful ♪♫#And their sibling dynamic is truly unrivaled <3 They support each other! Lift each other up! Where one stumbles the other catches him!#I love them so much ahh#Papyrus' emotional intelligence gets me so bad <3 The sweetest lad#I feel like it would bother Sans that he/they have Gaster's memories and not their own#It makes me especially sad to think about everything he missed of them - if only you hadn't fallen behind on the footage Gaster! >:0#They already have some pretty incredible identity issues just throw being pieces of him in every sense into the mix#They're grown from him and even when they got away and built themselves that still got subplanted with memories that aren't even theirs!#It's a rough spot#Papyrus though ♥ Always knows what to say hehe#Reaffirming that Sans is the most important person to him - that they are to each other - that no matter what they're brothers#And that no matter what - even having Gaster's memories or being without memories at all - that Sans is a good person#That it's not out of self-preservation or trying to do it for Papyrus' sake (even if that is a lot of it haha)#That /Sans/ is the one making that decision of his own volition and his own morals and beliefs#And that he loves and supports him no matter what <3#''I know you can be a good person. You can choose to do the right thing'' and ''I see you being a good person. You're doing the right thing'#Hhhh <3 I love them <3
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ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️
b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3
#i dont know what i expected but i was waiting for a friend and too excited to wait until later#malevolent podcast#john doe#john doe malevolent#john malevolent#malevolent fanart#grimm art#ep 43#ep 43 left me with a lot of thoughts ... i didnt quite like how much of a recap it felt like at times but that might#be because ive been relistening and like yeah everyone knows that john 🙄 but that's not the case for everyone and with monthly uploads#things get forgotten easily#i find the discussion of “humanity” so interesting because John has shown that without someone that he has forcibly grown to value as an#equal... something he cannot do as the king of yellow as he is superior to all of his realm and presumably stays out of other elder god's#anyway. without that equality and enviroment to grow he fails to reach his goal of compassion and falls onto old ways.#John. The King in Yellow. shown by both times each has found themselves in human form do not just crave power and influence!!!#THEY CRAVE COMMUNITY!!! an endrich being not born or raised with nothing but power and ego#CRAVES COMMUNITY.#His goal of “humanity” is not a selfless goal like John projects - it is ultimately somewhat selfish as he does not want to be alone!!#which makes this desire so much more human#i don't know maybe this is just me spelling out whats already there but the way john and the witch argued about humanity frustrated me#it felt like they were missing the point or that perhaps the “good/evil” “black/white” retoric was already realised by me and john needed#realise it himself . which is fair !!!#i dont know!!!!#the witch was talking about how bad everyone was and how humanity is cruel and john was talking about Lily (#who also frustrates me how shes used in the plot somewhat she was literally just a nurse doing her job bro#) but to John - yes internally he is struggling with his moral greyness and im so proud of him for growing being himself SO PROUD#JUST.!!! he wants community. he needs community. he loves his friend. 'humanity' at its core does not matter as long as you try to be bette#and i think thats awesome and i really enjoyed the episode#guhh im rambling enjoy my tag rambling i dont know i want john to have more friends :(#yorrick can be another friend godd i love you yorrick so silly
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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Very messy scribble of a comic because they were on my mind (I doubt I’ll ever clean it up so I’m just posting it now so it doesn’t rot in my procreate files LOL)
#genzen#zengen#demon slayer#genya shinazugawa#zenitsu agatsuma#kimetsu no yaiba#genya x zenitsu#tanjirou kamado#tanjiro kamado#I’ve been feeling a very special type of sad lately so I wanted to kinda project that a little bit on my silly guys#I don’t often think about them in universe it’s always usually just modern au#I like to think that they were on good terms during hashira training#genya apologized for hitting him after they met up again from sanemis training#they spoke a little bit to each other at that point but after that it was mostly just#existing together during group hang outs#the whole group was preexisting already#genya just kinda would stand back and silently watch them have fun and banter#he never really felt like he belonged together with all of them#zenitsu also struggles with feeling like he doesn’t deserve to be apart of the group as well and will sometimes sit back with genya#they laugh together at inosuke and sit in a silence of mutual understanding#he doesn’t really show it but zenitsu is genuinely very torn up about hearing genya death#he missed his chance to be friends with the one guy he had the most in common with#he never got to see the soft side tanjirou would tell him about#if only they could’ve met before everything turned bad#if only they could’ve met in a world without demons#maybe they wouldn’t have turned out so bad if they had each other#maybe he would still be here if he had someone#zenitsu will forever beat himself up that someone as bad as him died when he himself lived#he didn’t deserve his second chance at life just as much as genya didn’t
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!! tbb s2e8 spoiler alert !!
ECHO IS CONTINUING WHAT FIVES COULDN'T FINISH.
SOMEBODY SEDATE ME.
I CAN'T STOP CRYING.
#bad batch spoilers#the bad batch spoilers#bad batch s2 spoilers#i am not joking when i say that i SOBBED#my face is so red#and swollen#i can't stop crying#i miss him already#the bad batch#bad batch#the bad batch season 2#echo
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So I finished Moominvalley season 4 and here is my review:
Of course, spoilers ahead! It's long. It's detailed. It's a bit much, and I spent hours writing it.
I greatly disliked this season, not just from one particular angle. When Moominvalley first came out, it was advertised as the first narrative-style adaptation. This would imply one concrete story that ran throughout the show. They said the story would take time and required patience, but there was a larger narrative story. What was that story exactly? In the beginning, each character was established with certain flaws that they needed to grow from.
For Moomintroll, throughout season 1, we see him struggle with his father's expectations. He never quite makes his own decisions—either doing what he's told or what other people in his life would do. In the last episode of the season, Midwinter Ancestor, Moomintroll is told by Too-Tikky to not open the closet door. Going against her wishes, he does so anyway. This is the first instance of Moomintroll making a decision for himself. In the end, it was a bad decision, and he regretted it, but it still was a big moment. We understand the importance of this journey when he changes out the picture by his bedside table. It was a baby photo with his parents; now, it's a photo of Moomintroll fully grown. This was meant to denote a journey of independence.
We see him continue with this struggle in season 2. The Hobgoblin's hat adds to the internalized identity crisis. During the lighthouse arc, Moomintroll is mostly doing his own thing, somewhat. Although, I think that cutting out his glade from the book sort of hurt this theme of independence. I hoped that they would revisit that somehow, but they never did. In season 3, Lonely Mountain, we see a sort of regression with Moomintroll. (Ignore how this affected Snufkin, I'll come back to this later.) When Moomintroll unpacks his things, we see a collection of items that represent Moomintroll's past. One of these items was the old baby picture. Aside from this episode, we don't see any notable growth from Moomintroll this season.
In season 4, we watch Moomintroll fall right back into his father's shadow. He continues to struggle to carve his own path. The set up for Comet in Moominland was promising, but ultimately did not deliver. When Moomintroll goes against his friends to make a decision for himself, it turns out to be a bad decision that he regrets later, and someone else has to guide him out of the situation.
Moomintroll ends from the same place he started as a character. All growth is erased and ignored. While this is the most egregious example—with him being the protagonist—he is not the only character that this happens with.
Snufkin probably upsets me the most, as he had so much potential to be the most interesting character in the series. In season 1, The Spring Tune, we see where Snufkin is starting as far as his strengths and flaws go. What particularly intrigued me was his relationship to attachment. We see that Snufkin ultimately fears abandonment, and he copes with this in conflicting ways. He wants to be with Moomintroll out of fear of being left behind, but he is afraid that he feels this way. He tries to create distance between him and Moomintroll in an attempt to ease what he experiences as pain. This is demonstrated further in the next episode, The Last Dragon in the World, when he frees the dragon. We see his struggle with responsibility and commitment in Snufkin and the Park Keeper.
In season 2, The Hobgoblin's Hat, Snufkin is explaining to Moomintroll what the King's Ruby is. The ruby functions as a metaphor for love throughout the season. Moomintroll imagines that the Hobgoblin must love this ruby, while Snufkin argues that he only wants to possess it. While both may be correct in their own ways, they fail to understand each other. As a result, Snufkin decides to leave Moomintroll out of fear of being possessed himself under the false pretense that he is helping with the hat (he did not). We never visit this plot point again.
Snufkin has some large developments in season 3. In the Lonely Mountain, we see Snufkin break down his walls and let Moomintroll in. He acknowledges his responsibility to him and his longing to see him. Unfortunately, this aspect of his character is completely abandoned in season 4.
Back to season 1, Snufkin and the Park Keeper, we get a flashback in which Snufkin is enjoying a party with Moomintroll until he is overwhelmed by the presence of others. He winds up abandoning Moomintroll and the valley. He does this again in season 2, The Hobgoblin's Hat, as discussed above. In season 3, Snufkin and the Fairground, Snufkin chooses not to abandon his responsibility to Moomintroll or the valley. When faced with an uncomfortable challenge, he chooses to stay and support Moomintroll.
In season 4, The Great Cold, when faced with a crowded challenge, Snufkin abandons Moomintroll again. While he appears later in the episode, it felt disingenuous to me. The original problem had already been solved. In Comet in Moominvalley, Snufkin does not abandon Moomintroll. In fact, he makes an active effort to stay by his side. But it feels strange, almost undeserved? We saw so little of Snufkin this season, and when we did, he spent his screen time backtracking his progress.
In season 3, Lonely Mountain, Snufkin has a small monologue about listening to the campfire as the sparks dance and fly. Well, the whole episode was about listening. Anyway, that was a call back to the season 1 episode, The Invisible Child, in which Too-Tikky tells Moomintroll that there are many lost souls in Moominvalley that needed to be heard. The screen then cut to Snufkin leaving the valley. It would have been really cool to find out what that meant!
His abandonment issues never really get addressed. Refusing to let Snufkin meet his father was just baiting the audience. It was also just bad writing! What's his deal—where's his lore?? Who made him like this? Why is he so afraid of intimacy? Why are basic fundamental questions about this main character being left unanswered?
It really is disappointing. Every adaptation (and the books, if we're being honest) treat Snufkin like a stoic hero. He doesn't want to be looked up to, yet he's always painted as a character that you should. This is the first adaptation that gave him flaws. He felt like a character that needed growth and time. He was never given either.
I won't spend so much time on Snorkmaiden, even though she was robbed, too. She never grew to be more independent apart from Moomintroll. In the same vein as Moomintroll and Snufkin, her character ends exactly the way she started. All of her character growth vanished in seasons 3 and 4. I love this version of Snorkmaiden. I certainly prefer it to her other portrayals. But the writers screwed her over so bad, it's heartbreaking.
None of the characters actually learn or change. Everyone sort of becomes a static character, which makes any semblance of a plot impossible to write. For the fun of it, I will try to decode a plot, anyway.
So, you're not crazy. Moomintroll and Snufkin were set up to be endgame. There was a way to make Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden endgame in a satisfying way, but the writers chose against it. It's a very suspicious backtracking that reeks of queerbaiting, but let me explain the narrative romance angles first.
I feel unsatisfied with the ending Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden got. Throughout seasons 1 and 2, they would frequently lie for each other's approval, and jealousy was a common player. They would ignore each other when someone more interesting came along. Ultimately, what led to the break up in season 2, Farwell Snorkmaiden, was the understanding that Snorkmaiden was just more mature than Moomintroll. In her own way, she was ready for a serious committed relationship, and Moomintroll was not.
However, there was never a formal conversation of them getting back together. They just sort of were? And all of the problems in their relationship were never resolved. They still lied to each other and ignored one another for something shinier all the time. It was irritating. These two became no better than Sniff in the end. I'm standing on business with that.
I'm also not convinced that Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden can have a healthy relationship after the finale. They will definitely break up again. They haven't resolved any of the issues that led to their original break.
Okay, so Moomintroll and Snufkin. Let's chat about that for a while. The first three episodes establish Moomintroll, Snufkin, and their relationship together (in that order). We, as viewers, are led to believe that their relationship (either romantic or platonic) is the key to understanding the story. Throughout seasons 1 and 2, every single motif for love (lanterns, fires, the ruby, etc.) that is introduced is done with Moomintroll and Snufkin. Regardless, different expressions of love and intimacy were the focal point of the show. That was almost completely abandoned in seasons 3 and 4. While turning the focus on the greater community could have added depth, it ultimately detracted from the close personal relationships that were driving the narrative.
So, the Groke. She does not just represent fear, she is a reflection of each character's own fears. I loved this! I thought it was a really cool concept, and the ways that she was portrayed in seasons 1 and 2 were excellent. Here's the thing. In her introduction in season 1, Night of the Groke, we are also introduced to lanterns/fires as a motif about love. The Groke is chasing love and craves acceptance. It's not quite something you can catch, and trying to is a failed endeavor. Brilliant episode. We saw what Snufkin's greatest fear was earlier in the season (loving Moomintroll), but we needed to pay more attention to see Moomintroll's fear. I think it was complex. On one hand, with the lanterns, Moomintroll could also be afraid to love Snufkin. However, as we saw at the end of Moomintroll and the Seahorses, he needs to learn independence before he can love someone. This was also reinforced through Snorkmaiden in Farwell Snorkmaiden. The fires and lanterns were constant reoccurring motifs (not just for Moomintroll and Snufkin, though that's where the focus is right now). Rewatch the season 3 episode, Lonely Mountain, and that one monologue that Snufkin gives will start to make sense.
By abandoning these important motifs, the Groke's conclusion feels unfinished. It just felt wrong. In the end, she did just represent fear. This completely erased the layer of depth that she had to start.
For Moomintroll to learn to be more independent and self-reliant, he needed to learn from Snufkin. For Snufkin to learn to accept love and responsibility, he needed to learn from Moomintroll. They were the keys to each other's growth. When they were together, the plot moved. When they weren't, the episodes felt like filler for the most part.
Also, small detail, despite the change in one photo (the baby photo to grown Moomintroll) the photo with Moomintroll and Snufkin never changed. Which narratively makes no sense.
The writers originally set this up for them to be romantically involved. Which, given the context of their dynamic in the books and comics, makes sense. It's not as much of a stretch as people are trying to gaslight themselves into believing. These characters were originally heavily queer coded. However, the original text is sort of a tragedy. No matter what happened, Moomintroll and Snufkin could never truly be together—no matter how much they tried. This mirrored Tove Jansson's relationship to her first fiance Atos Wirtanen as well as her relationship to her own queerness. However, it looked like Moominvalley wanted something different. Queer people had enough tragic stories told already. This one would tell queer kids that it was going to be okay, and that they were going to find love. Tove Jansson's original message about love and freedom was finally going to be understood.
Instead, not only was this potentially beautiful story abandoned, it was mocked. In the season 4 episode, Midsummer Meddling, there was a scene I found quite shocking. Sniff had convinced himself that he was to fall in love with somebody. One of his "love interests" was a male scarecrow. This is the only openly queer semblance of romance that we got and it was played off as a joke. In the final season. They didn't even backtrack Moomintroll and Snufkin, they just completely ignored everything that was set up.
In the final episode, Comet in Moominland, there was an incredibly brief exchange between Moomintroll and Snufkin about who looked up to who. This would have been a fantastic place to give these characters some sort of conclusion, but we don't get that. In all of the 45 minute special, the characters are never prioritized. In the whole season, even. Really, not a single character got a satisfying conclusion, but Moomintroll and Snufkin were the most important.
This is a powerful and historic piece of queer media. Tove Jansson's queer legacy was so iconic that she was directly cited as an influence in the legalization of same sex marriage in Finland. Her work proved to further the queer community. Despite sodomy laws and fear of incarceration, Jansson continued to do what she could to tell her own queer story. That is what Moomin is. That is its legacy.
I was prepared to defend Gutsy if Snufmin didn't go canon. At the end of the day, it's usually TV execs threatening to pull the whole show off the air. The show was too costly to risk any interesting writing. However, the writers didn't recover, and some of the writing just felt downright melicious at times.
Anyway, if you love slice-of-life content, you probably loved this season and the show's conclusion. It is such a shame that the creators promised something completely different from what the show turned out to be. It's no surprise that viewers are disappointed.
I do have one more thing to say ☝️😀. This is going to hurt Moomin's mission to expand to the US. It's been very obvious that they have been trying to expand to North America. Brave and bold writing would have caught the attention of new viewers. Instead, few Americans are going to recommend this show to others. Aside from that, the next logical move is to make an American adaptation. Good luck trying to find a competent YA cartoon creator that won't threaten to walk off the project if they can't have Snufmin. That being said, they'll have better luck making that canon here anyway. (Everybody say, "thank you Rebecca Sugar and Pendleton Ward.")
Well, in the end, I don't think the fight to make Snufmin a real, transparent queer story ends with Moominvalley. I can say, though, that the prioritization of profit over respect and love for others is not at all what Tove Jansson would have wanted.
Seasons 1 and 2 were peak, and season 3, episode 8, was batshit insane. That is all.
#this took me several hours to type out#but im glad i did#i feel like theres so much more to talk about#and theres so many more episodes i can rant about#but i more so want to hear what other people think#homophobia won today#and so did bad writing#sad!#thoughts of dante#moomin#moominvalley#moominvalley season 4#side tangent#the joxter having a song called you keep me warm when we already have a motif about fires and warmth and love#and then we dont do anything with that#they barely did anything narratively with the joxter#i love him so much and i love his voice actor#but hes really representative of the greater problem with that season#huge missed potential#hes there for three total episodes but does not add to a single characters development and least of all the overall plot#maybe ill make a separate post and the motifs and how they were completely abandoned in season 4
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I sure hope I don't bump into a nerd who happens to like and yap about aliens..
#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#this may be an admin/out of momo ayase sona post#LMAAAOO#god please give me my okarun#dandadan#literallymomoayase#momo ayase#ayase momo#okarun#ken takakura#momo ayase dandadan#anime#:(#i already miss my future okarun#i wanna talk to him so bad#looking for boyfriend#heh
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riz gukgak is SO distressing to have as a favourite character I can never funckign rest out here
#not art#smthing abt his character being motivated so equally by truth and fear#and he keeps looking for an institution that'd both help him seek the truth and assuage his fears#with him first being a PI bc his mom was a cop and then a junior agent with blessings from his dad#and hes like on that precipice of realising that its not just the people in the seats its the concept of it from the ground up thats fucked#so hes inclined towards conspiracy thoughts and an end-justifies-the-means pattern of action#like. man. hes just so fucking filled with anxiety. he guards the things that make him happy with ferocity#and the thing is! the world encourages this! every time hes paranoid he turns out to be right#that paranoia that already came from having very little control over a world thats unkind to you#honestly all the bad kids were prime radicalization/cult materials in freshman year but I feel like riz is even More so#theyre so fucking lucky they ended up together like that. there are so many things you can promise a kid#who already had plenty of things taken from and kept from him. a kid with an overworked mom and a missing babysitter#if riz didnt run into the bad kids it would be childs play to isolate him. gods. head in hands I cannot fuckign be here dude#this is why the ''small'' comic I tried to sketch ballooned up to almost 30 panels lmao needed to stuff someof this somewhere#but also skip is my favourite from ASO so maybe I just like experiencing hardship and challenges in daily mental exercises
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send my love | yoon jeonghan
🪄 pairing, yoon jeonghan x reader
🪄 warnings, short, lowercase intended, fluff, est. relationship, jeonghan is a tease, suggestive (jeonghan and reader kind of make out??), reader calls jeonghan hannie, jeonghan calls reader angel, jeonghan smokes (don't smoke kids it's not good for you), blonde jeonghan is canon, lyr misses jeonghan okay
🪄 author's note, literally don't know how this came about but all i know is that i remember seeing a meme or something saying jeonghan has a smoker's laugh and therefore felt inspired to write for him 😭 in all honesty though please don't smoke it's not good for you 🙏 ANYWAYS LMAO enjoy this sickening jeonghan fic! (and yes this fanart is supposed to be jeonghan)
🪄 now playing, send my love (to your new lover), adele
🪄 word count, 615 | for @kstrucknet
"since when have you listened to adele?" you ask your boyfriend, smiling as he glances up at you, taking a long drag of his cigarette.
"i've listened to adele before. you just haven't been here when i've listened to her music." jeonghan shrugs, playfully smirking at you as you move closer to him.
the two of you are lounging in bed, too lazy to start your saturday morning. jeonghan must not be tired, as he's currently twirling a new cigarette in between his slender fingers. his promise ring gleams in the light as he lights the tip of his cigarette, and you sigh, closing your eyes as you hear jeonghan inhale.
"this song reminds me of you." you whisper, and jeonghan chuckles, voice raspy and hushed. "really?"
"yeah." you finalize, and you stare at jeonghan, studying the slope of his nose and the small beauty mark under his eye. jeonghan was perfect in every way, and you knew it too, reeling in how beautiful your boyfriend looked when smoking. he was a dream, with his drowsy stare and lazy smirk.
"how does it remind you of me, angel?" jeonghan's voice is light, a wisp in your mind as you shrug, eyes still closed as you smell the cigarette smoke on his shirt.
"i don't know, really. i just think the guitar sounds like you." you smile, and jeonghan chuckles again. the sizzle of the cigarette's end is music to your ears, and you let your eyes flutter open, studying your boyfriend's features.
sitting up slowly, you bring jeonghan's chin to you face, tilting it to you as you stare him in his eyes. his eyes are so dark and rich that you find yourself getting lost in them, and you decide to make a daring move, taking the cigarette from jeonghan's fingers and snuffing it out.
jeonghan watches you with hungry eyes, a lazy smirk playing on his lips as he waits for your next move. you twirl the cigarette in your own fingers, teasing him with it as you pause, leaning in and now just seconds away from jeonghan's lips.
"would you just stop with the cigarettes, hannie?" you whisper, fingertip brushing over jeonghan's lips as he smirks under it. your lips brush his softly, slowly tasting the smoke from earlier. it stains jeonghan's lips like a lip tint, and it only makes you crave more.
"whatever my angel asks for." jeonghan concedes teasingly, pulling you closer to him as he threads his fingers through your stray hair. jeonghan reciprocates the kiss quickly, slowly and surely molding his kisses to yours as he groans under you. sighing, you cup jeonghan's face, melting into jeonghan's embrace as you taste even more of jeonghan's cigarette smoke.
finally pulling away after a few more slow kisses, you dreamily stare at jeonghan's face, memorizing every detail you think you can. you study it all: his dark brown eyes, pronounced eyebags, blushed cheeks, darkened eyebrows, breathless, parted lips, and soft, supple skin.
"you should stop smoking. it's not good for you," you say after a few seconds of comfortable silence, and jeonghan shrugs, nodding. "i know i should, but....it's fun."
laughing bitterly, you collapse into jeonghan's chest, knowing he'd deny you. "you would definitely be the type of person to do something bad because it's fun, hannie."
"definitely." jeonghan chuckles, and you giggle with him, sinking deeper into jeonghan's embrace as you twirl his blonde curls around your finger.
staring at your boyfriend as he lights another cigarette, you realize that if you weren't in yoon jeonghan's embrace right now, smelling nothing but his fading yves saint laurent cologne and cigarette smoke, you would have thought he was an all-too-put-together dream.
#seventeen#svt jeonghan#yoon jeonghan#kstrucknet#jeonghan#jeonghan imagines#jeonghan fluff#jeonghan seventeen#jeonghan x reader#god i miss jeonghan so bad ygs#like seriously#all jokes aside#....#please#bring him back#😭🙏#it's so empty w/o him#i need my cunty model cheater girlboss guy back#he's already served#why is he serving in the military#CRYING#2 years better go by so fast.#i'm so serious.#having jeonghan withdraws
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just a few javieran horse headcanons because i like them a normal amount
branwen
- tall AND fat. kieran makes sure he’s always fed (maybe even accidentally a teensy bit overfed. just because kieran can’t help but indulge him when he butts him with his head or nuzzles at his pockets when he knows there’s treats in there. but never too much because ‘obesity is a problem, even in animals !’). probably about 17hh, taller than average for a kentucky saddler but nothing too big. especially since kieran himself is quite tall
- VERY well-tempered, both naturally, as well as because kieran has literally made him bulletproof. bagged him, blanketed him, stood, jumped, backflipped onto and off of him. this kindly gentleman of a horse only spooks when he wants to be bratty specifically.
- i think he’s about 6 or so, came from the stables kieran worked at after being orphaned, he was just a colt when kieran was just a kid. kieran learned how to birth foals quickly, and branwen happened to be one of them. with the way that they fell in love with each other and the way that branwen whinnied and pranced up to the fence when kieran came back to buy him after the army didn’t work out, you’d think that horse was born just for him.
- his favourite treats, in order, are rutabaga (kieran’s secret for branwen’s glossy coat. also why he’s kinda fat.), boiled potatoes mixed into his oats, apples, and fresh greens. he’s simultaneously incredibly easy to please because of the simplicity of the latter parts of his favourites list and also very needy and complicated because kieran so loves to make his pony happy with his absolute favourite treats, so he tries his very best to get branwen’s eccentric tastes pleased once falling into the VDL’s.
- i always say “a horse’s favourite thing to do is hurt itself”, and i think this statement holds relatively true for branwen as well, though there’s a 25% chance that he’s actually hurt, a 50% chance that he’s only mildly injured or spooked and he’s playing it up to get kieran to dote on him, and a 25% chance that he will protect kieran with his life when they’re in a dire situation (see: snake on the ground or gunfire nearby. or even god forbid a spare tumbleweed find it’s way rolling nearby.) despite kieran’s last wish being his horse getting injured. branwen thinks that he’s gotta be The Man and protect his dad sometimes. it does not help in any situation ever whatsoever.
- branwen is the PERFECT companion for a trail riding date. he’s settled, calm, has a great gait, and as a gelding, truly is not worried about other horses being “faster” than him, so he never gets rowdy nor has any problems when partner riders/horses crowd him. kieran is allowed to ask for as many kisses as he pleases because branwen will never jump when javier’s gold-tipped boots poke him in the side and boaz irritatedly flicks his flank with his tail. truly a goated wingman. also never complains about long rides, and enjoys being out of camp with his rider for as much as physically possible for both of them, so he’s never barnsour in either direction.
boaz
- as an american paint, he’s naturally short and stocky. saddle ends up being a bit loose, though, as javier isn’t as dedicated to keeping him perfectly fed or groomed. he loves him, sure, but horses are somewhat of tools to him, so he kinda does slightly more than bare minimum to keep him kempt and healthy. around 14.5hh, slightly shorter than average and quite dense with muscle
- temperamentally a bit volatile. this horse has just as much drama as his rider, if not a little more. doesn’t like something ? ridden too long ? that stick looks too much like a snake ? hasn’t spent enough time with kieran that day ? he will snort and grunt and bunny hop if javi isn’t on him, and shudder hard enough the saddle shakes underneath him if he is. boaz likes to please his rider, but he also demands pleasure himself, and has no issue with “accidentally” placing a hoof on his owners nice, intentionally clean boots, and subsequently slowly leaning more and more of his weight onto it when he doesn’t immediately get what he wants. bratty pony. generally, he keeps javier safe, though, when it comes down to it.
- around 5 years old. after dutch found javier trying to steal chickens the first time they met, he soon took him back to that ranch and their first take as gang leader and member was a 1 year old grey paint colt for javi to train and subsequently ride. until he was rideable, javier rode a morgan that was formerly hosea’s, named carolina, while he lead boaz everywhere behind him.
- favourite treats, in order, are corn cobs (especially dried), prickly pear fruit AND cactus, sugar cubes, and sliced apples. will force javier to share his maiz with him. javier has always sliced his apples up since he was a colt, not only because javi simply finds comfort in toying with his knife, but also because boaz will not eat them otherwise. javi will also cut all of the spines off of the cactus before letting boaz eat them.
- in terms of injury, boaz is the most dramatic tank on the planet. this horse could arthur morgan-style run face first into a tree and then fall off a cliff and walk it off. but not before he gimps and limps and whines and teeth grinds his way into javier leading him instead of riding him for the next mile or two. once kieran started taking care of him, there is also a 25% chance of boaz faking a terribly painful injury just to get kieran to dote on him.
- kinda the worst wingman ever LMFAO easily annoyed, easily aroused, easily offended, and as a stallion, HAS to walk in front of the “herd” (his rider’s boyfriend and his horse). pins his ears back, smashes into personal space, flicks branwen with his tail (and preferably kieran, if he can reach him) even sometimes will nip at branwen if the latter tries to calmly make this date a date and not a life or death race (whoever loses, their dad is gay) and walk side-by-side to aid their riders’ hand holdings. will make executive decisions via stopping or veering off for fresh green grass beside the trail, will at points actively attempt to shudder javier out of his saddle (has succeeded once when javi was distracted by a story being excitedly told by kieran), and will also spook and take off running so fast javier thinks it must have broken his neck from the velocity. generally makes trail rides a living hell, but kieran finds it charming, and it makes for some cute shoujo-style “omg … *reaches out to help you up after your horse bucks you off because he saw a log that looked nothing at all and everything like a cougar and pink and white soft bubbles surround me* are you okay ? here, let me help.” moments. maybe some day boaz will be allowed off of the national american terrorist list written by javier “rizzless rider” escuella
ok im tired and that’s all i can think of please enjoy and feel free to contribute 👍 i love them so bad im gona cry
#i’m at the gym for the first time since my od and ouugghh i’m so emotional#it’s 2am aslo. ouu they haunt me#i love thinking about them being silly little domestic cowboys#and just going on dates and riding their little horsies#my fav horse girls !1!!11!1!1!! even tho javi isn’t a horse girl really but in my heart he is cuz kieran loves trail rides#and so javieran go on trail rides a lot as well as “’riding into town’ as an excuse to get out of camp together#javier is so good at listening he truly learned the art of shutting up when he couldn’t speak english and also was learning in america that#he really should trust sparingly because the new world was so incredibly hostile to him from the start simply for being who he was and where#he came from#so he’s such a great active listener and while it’s kinda a trauma response it also works very well for javierans relationship because kiera#has never in his life ever felt important or safe or like anything he said mattered to anyone so perfect brilliant ‘i’m listening go on’ jab#vier makes kieran feel so loved and heard in ways he’s never ever in his life experienced and javi takes them fishing and riding and to the#stables constantly because he’s LISTENED to kieran and kieran never has to ask to do something he wants to do because javi’s already HEARD h#im (and he also knows kieran would never ask for anything first ever because he never feels like he deserves anything at all. nor even feels#safe enough to dare).#and javier gets his cake and eats it too when kieran asks and asks and asks because kieran cares about EVERYTHING right from the getgo beau#se unlike javier kieran has been entirely unable to turn his heart off at all in any capacity so he loves and loves ans loves against his wi#ll so javier has been so adored from the start because kieran can’t HELP it so he gets him gifts and learns things for him and javi just as#much never has to ask for much other than courage from kieran. ever. can anyone hear me is anyone lidtening ouuu#ok enough sorry they make me so emptipnal#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#javieran#kieran duffy#javier escuella#text#hero's talking to himself again#hero’s waxing poetry again#i think that was the tag ¿#im gonna throw up i miss them so bad they’re everything to me oouuggyuuuy
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Me: This fic needs plot.
My brain: Okay, I understand. The fic needs more wallowing.
Me: No. We need to cut back on the wallowing to get to the plot so this doesn't like three more weeks to write.
My brain. Got it, got it. The fic needs Wilson to have free time so he just walks around and contemplates. Nice long chunk of Wilson's depression and trauma.
Me: No. Not at all. It needs less time reflecting on the past.
My brain: Understood. I have the solution. The fic needs...flashbacks.
Me: Okay fuck it. Fine.
#house md#hatecrimes md#fanfiction#fanfic writing#james wilson#seriously how am I not at the SII part yet#SII is always a tool to START the real plot#After her there must be relationship problems and therapy and even more important angst wallowing and then the climax and resolution#And yet. The fic is already over 5000 words#I not only missed my self-imposed deadline I'm going to miss it by a lot#But I am working on it every day so eventually you can expect a shiny new Research fic casting light in Wilson's trauma#The premise is “what if Wilson's 'eating neediness' and compulsive Fix It attempts are an ingrained habit imposed on him from a young age”#Because just because House says Wilson loves it doesn't mean he actually does#He and House are actually really bad at analyzing each other#I don't think Wilson is so attached to House because he needs to care for House (House doesn't even let him care for him that often)#I think it's kind of the opposite. House lets Wilson shrug off his need to be a caring angel and let out his inner bastard#The attachment is based on NOT fixing House or being expected to make him all better#The attachment is Wilson feeling safe enough to act on the impulse to saw House's cane in half without hating himself or being punished#Like they can fight and be juvenile and insult each other and then still love each other#Neither will leave the other upon figuring out who the other Really Is TM
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