#i actually love this blog and this space so :))
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Thanks for formulating what I am thinking. If you need more proof that TERFs are the enemy, go on any of their blogs and look at the gender and orientation of who they are harassing and who their "activism" targets. You will find out that it's almost exclusively women (by far not limited to trans women) and the only men they ever harm in 99,9% of cases are trans men.
They claim they want to harm men and take their power away, but if you actually look at what they're doing and not just their propaganda, you will see that this is only a pretense to harm other women they perceive as "tainted by men" in any way (trans women obviously, but also bi/pan women, aro/ace women, neurodivergent and disabled women, women of color, or really just anyone who does not fulfill their oh so feminist but actually patriarchal femininity standards*). Because unlike men, these women are not defended by the current system, so they can target them without risk and feel powerful.
And don't think you are save just because you are a cis white abled neurotypical lesbian or straight woman. They will target you too as soon as you step out of line. If you don't want to protect trans people out of human decency, at least do it out of self-preservation.
Also look at the huge number of times where TERFs collaborated with fascists. And understand that even if they don't, they have a huge role in bringing fascist ideology into leftist spaces, and in making sure the queer community and feminists both can't act as a united front and at their full strength.
Maybe it is just because I am bi ("tainted by men", "unpure", "feminism traitor") and autistic ("too retarded to have an own identity" "mind like a child") and so was targeted by TERFs before, but you really need to learn their dogwhistles and understand that they are not on your side. When they say "fuck all men" they don't mean taking power away from cis men, they mean hurting minority men and all women who they can justify as being tainted by men. If they say "don't date men" they don't mean that dating men is really dangerous and you need to protect yourself, they mean that if you are attracted to men you are doomed to be abused and its your fault.
*btw a common tactic they love to use and will surely employ as reaction to this too is to bring up the rare minority woman they managed to brainwash into their ideology as a proof that no, actually they are not bigoted against that specific identity. Respecting a specific minority as long as they agree with everything they say and denounce their minority traits is not accepting them. Don't listen to what they say, listen to their actions.
garden variety conservative transphobia is going to get worse but radical feminism is also going to get worse. if youre a cis women terfs are going to try to recruit you and make you believe that the reason your rights are at stake is because of trans people. they're going to tell you that all men are your violent oppressors and they're going to include trans women in that category. they're gonna tell you about women who are gender traitors and joined the enemy and they're going to point to trans men. don't believe them. trans people are not your enemy, we have no power over you, and we desperately need your support and your solidarity.
be aware of radfem pipelines and dog whistles too. be skeptical of anyone that talks about the divine feminine or correlates birthing, menstruating, or female reproductive organs with womanhood. be especially skeptical of people who use those biological things as reasons to why women are more spiritual, or more in tune with nature, or just that they're better than men (read: anyone they decide is a man)
radical feminism is an expected reactionary outcome from cis women who are being oppressed by conservatives, especially when all they practice is ciscentric, liberal, white feminism. they feel the need to be radicalized but don't have the experience and information to pinpoint the true source of their suffering. trans people are not your enemy, AMAB people are not your enemy, anyone who identifies as a man is not your enemy. we're all being crushed under the same stone
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I always considered fiction my main way of escapism from my own troubles and the world's troubles. After yesterday, I feel like we all need a little bit of escapism and comfort, and I did the only thing I can offer, which is to write. I hope this can bring a little bit of comfort to anyone who's feeling depressed or scared. I hope my blog can be a little safe space if you need to escape. Please take care of yourselves and ily <3
Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, actually a lot of comfort, Luca helps reader cope with their feelings
Frostheim always made you feel inadequate. Small. Wrong. Not enough. Your blood wasn't blue and your voice didn't have the sound of centuries of generational wealth, unlike all of its students. Thus, you had no place in speaking up, or expressing your discomfort. Much less saying no.
Which was why you found yourself stuffed inside itchy, uncomfortable clothes that had been bought with Kamurai money – another reason why you couldn't run away from that place – nursing a glass of champagne that you would, most probably, not drink.
Frostheim's balls were a whole different torture on its own.
It's not surprising that the rich would pride themselves in following obscure little etiquette rules that made them feel like they were better than everyone else. It was fine, really. They could choke on their diamonds and coins and silver cutlery for all you'd care.
It's the fact that you had to endure them that truly abhorred you. Endure the waltzes, and the fancy canapes, and the constant flood of drinks, and the stares and the whispers and the stares and the whispers.
The stares and the whispers.
You knew how much people loved to gossip in that godforsaken dorm, but you hoped your professional (and almost friendly) relationship with both the Captain and Vice-Captain would keep them at bay, at least in front of you.
But you forgot that rich people have no respect for those they deem less important than them.
So you were standing on your own, in the corner of the giant ballroom, as you counted how many people would pass by, stare you down and snicker.
Your record for the previous ball was a little over 20 people. This time, you were already on 23.
What a lovely setting.
All you wanted to do was run, go to the campus’ store and beg Benkei to give you a little discount on a bulk of instant noodles and cheap wine. You refused to eat their expensive food as much as you refused to get drunk in front of them.
That was your plan, until the loudspeakers, carefully placed in every corner of the giant room, began playing a gentle tune that reverberated deep inside your bones, and caused you pain you weren't quite expecting.
At least not at that moment.
Much to your dismay, your eyes began to sting as the first words of the oh-so familiar song reached your ears and your grip on the glass tightened instinctively.
It was such an old piece. A cheesy, melancholic little tune released back in your early teens. Back when your biggest worry were your grades and being noticed by your cute classmate.
You downed the champagne in one go, trying to force the lump on your throat to disappear. Breathing became a little bit harder as you felt your chest squeeze with painful nostalgia and you stumbled towards one of the many balconies of the vast building.
You knew they would most always be empty due to the harsh winter weather right outside its glass doors, but you didn't mind. You needed space. Air. And if you were going to ruin your makeup, you wanted to do it on your own.
The singer's voice was slightly muffled, but you could still hear her. The lyrics lamented a wasted love, but all you could think of were the memories associated with the song.
You remembered carrying your childhood dog in your arms as you danced to it in your old bedroom, thinking about fairytale romance and the bright future ahead of you.
You remembered crying to the sound of it after your first heartbreak and the taste of salt on your tongue while your parents drove you to the beach, the song playing softly in the car's speakers.
You remembered sleeping soundly in a friend's room during a sleepover, the song playing time and time again after you all forgot to turn off the computer and the old music player.
You remembered your past life, seeming so far away from you despite you still being so young.
White, glittery flakes barely fell despite the biting cold that enveloped Frostheim like a snow globe. You shivered constantly, but were focused on how strongly you were biting your bottom lip, trying to keep the tears at bay. Your hands gripped the balcony's railing tightly, as you tried to ground yourself.
You missed the sound of the door opening in your intense focus, only snapping out of your daze once you felt a warm coat being draped over your shoulders.
“You shouldn't be outside without a coat. You could catch a cold, or worse.”
Warm breath tickled your cheek and you turned around, only to face two bright violet orbs that widened as soon as you showed your tear-stricken face.
“What happened?” Luca placed his hands on your shoulder, squeezing them lightly, voice frantic. “Are you okay? Did someone say something to you? Did you get hurt?”
You sniffled, quickly shaking your head in order to stop the barrage of questions. You enveloped yourself with his coat a bit tighter, finally realizing how cold you felt. The scent of bergamot on his clothes managed to ground you better than your own nails ever could.
“No, I'm fine. Nothing happened.” You murmured, looking down, a bit ashamed that your breakdown just had a witness.
“Something must have happened. You're crying. If you're distressed, you can tell me.”
You stared at Luca's worried expression for a second before sighing. He walked to your side, leaning onto the balcony's railing like you were just a few moments before.
“It's… nothing important, really. It's just a song that was played there.” you murmured.
“A song?”
“Yeah, I… it's a song I used to listen to when I was younger. It made me remember, you know? Stuff. My life out of here.”
Luca's worried expression morphed into one of sympathy. His lips pursed as he nodded, understanding what you meant without needing other words.
“You must be missing a lot of people.” He said quietly as you settled yourself beside him, looking at the winter wonderland that were Frostheim's gardens.
“Haha, yeah…” You sighed, tired. “A lot of people I didn't get to say goodbye to, nor explain anything. People that probably miss me too. My pets as well. Friends. I had a lot out there. It wasn't much, but it was mine.”
Your voice became strained as your eyes watered once more. You cleared your throat, trying once again to push down that lump. You might have ruined your makeup, but you didn't want to cry even more in front of the boy – you didn't want to feel like you were victimizing yourself, even if deep down you knew you were anything but guilty of your situation.
Luca placed his hand on your head, his touch heavy and warm despite the ambient. His violet eyes looked at you with a swirl of empathy and pain.
“I understand you.” He said, swallowing hard. “It's jarring. The sudden changes, the fear of the unknown and what the future holds. I miss my family too.”
“Right… you came from another country.” You felt dumb for a moment. For venting your anguish onto someone that was living something so similar to you. And in Luca's case, he was all alone in a foreign place.
You suddenly felt small.
“Yes. And it's hard sometimes. Most times, actually.” He chewed on his bottom lip before giving you a small smile. “But I try to keep my mind set on something so I won't get lost in my emotions. Nor in my grief.”
“Your brother…”
He nodded.
“I set my mind into finding a way to get him back. And I won't back down from this until I've done all I can, until I have him back with our family. But also…” His eyes flickered towards yours, scanning your face.
“What?”
“I do have another goal to keep me afloat. Something else I fight for, so I won't give up despite how hard it all is.”
You tilt your head in curiosity. Luca places his gloved hand onto yours, the warmth seeping into your skin as he squeezes you tightly and his eyes burn with determination.
“I also want to find a way to cure you of your curse. To send you back to those people you love and miss. I want to help you get your future back.”
You couldn't help the way your eyes welled up once again, this time out of gratitude for the boy that stood right beside you.
You knew how Luca had to consciously choose to fight against the odds time and time again, despite how others didn't understand his drive and even deemed him weird or inconvenient. You knew how he worked so hard to one day achieve his goals and to have him so openly offer his hand to help you achieve yours warmed your heart.
“Luca…” You muttered, feeling the tears freely run down your cheeks.
“You won't be lost if we're like this.” He raised the hand that was intertwined with yours. You nodded, drying your eyes with the flimsy sleeve of your clothes.
“I'll help you find your brother too.” You announced, as determined as him, through a stuffy nose and dry mouth.
“Thank you.” He beamed at you, his smile blindingly bright. “And when you feel like this again, when you're lost in your own grief… I hope you know you can count on me. As much as I will count on you when I need your help. Okay?”
“Okay.” You nodded. “Let's just ask Tohma to delete that song from his playlist, please.” You added and Luca laughed in agreement.
He pulled you towards the glass doors, leading you back into the warmth of the ballroom.
Before he opened the doors, he looked at you one more time.
“Let's help each other stay afloat?” He asked, smiling gently.
You smiled back.
“Let's. Thank you, Luca.”
“It's what I'm here for.”
He opened the doors and ushered you inside, shielding you from the cold outside.
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❤️ a good time!
tat!bucky’s favorite (or least favorite) thing about twelve
… why not both?
cause and effect
chapter summary: How Bucky fell in love with Twelve: Slowly, and then all at once.
pairing: bucky barnes x time witch!reader
word count: 1.8k
warnings: light angst and negative self talk (this is bucky y'all); some light pining 🤭please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.
a/n: i've literally had this one in my drafts for about two years and i hadn't actually planned on posting it for a while yet but i did promise distractions. and i missed him. i always do.
this is part of the time after time universe but can be read as a teaser and/or a standalone 💚
Bucky’s relationship with time has been fractured ever since a cold day in January that stole away the life he was headed towards and turned him into the monster underneath a child’s bed.
It’s hard to feel good about the concept of time travel once a lot of your own time has been taken away from you. Even now, there’s only so many things in his life he has control over; like the fact that he’s actively choosing to go back to therapy now, or that he’s able to keep a pet for the first time since he was thirteen years old. Stupid little things, like what kind of food he wants for lunch or whether he should take the stairs or the elevator.
Every single one of these things he’s fought for tooth and nail, clawing his way out of the past and carving out his own space in reality again, struggling, trying, hanging on like he wasn’t able to all those decades ago.
He’s probably still failing.
Some days, clinging to the present is tense and brings him nothing but grief. Sometimes, it feels like he’s going to have to mourn the past forever, whatever might have been; and maybe that’s his sentence.
He wouldn’t have wished it on anyone. He deserves worse.
And then there’s you.
Flickering in and out of time, constantly moving, changing in the time it takes him to blink.
It’s infuriating to him, the way you get to use your powers. The way you don’t need to think about consequences, because they don’t have to be permanent, don’t have to be something you need to live with for the rest of your life. To you, time has always been something that can be changed with a single snap of your fingers. Whatever you do can just as easily be undone.
Once you decide you’ve seen enough, you can just take the scene from the top.
And you’re so stubborn.
You’ve already seen how this goes on if you let it, and so you’re always right, end of story. There’s an ease to your steps because of it, a nonchalance in every movement, and it makes Bucky’s blood boil to see it so plainly.
With all the good that you could do, you choose to do nothing instead; to stay out of the picture entirely and burn through your powers just because you can, wasting them all on things that don’t mean anything.
How many lives could you potentially save?
Instead, you consume disturbing amounts of caffeine and then continue to provide running commentary to the world around you based on things that, to him, never happen at all. "Do this", "don’t do that", "take the other one", or, his absolute favorite, "don’t make me fix that".
Why not? he wants to ask, say, demand. Why not fix all of it?
It takes a while for him to realize that all of your fire means you’re burning from both ends. In fact, it takes Becca.
"You should bring her by sometime," she tells him on a rainy afternoon. "While I’m still alive and kicking."
His little sister just turned ninety-eight. Her kitchen sideboard is filled with black-and-white pictures reminding him of all the things in her life that he missed, arranged in perfect little wooden frames.
"And why would I do that?" Bucky asks, scowling at his cards.
"Because you keep mentioning her," Rebecca says dryly and whisks the cards onto her pile with quick fingers.
"You gotta be kidding me," he groans, noting down her points. "And I don’t."
"Do, too. I don’t remember you being this terrible at this game."
"Because I haven’t caught you when you’re cheating."
"Exactly. It’s embarrassing." She wins the next trick, too. "How’s Tuesday?"
"Am I clairvoyant now?"
"I was thinking lunch."
"No." Finally, he gets a couple of points down. When he glances up at his sister again, she’s looking at him expectantly and he sighs. "What?"
"You can’t fault me for being curious," she says. She has just as many opinions as she did when she was sixteen. Her eyes are still the same, too, the same shade of blue as his and the same glimmer of archness as their mother.
"Don’t you think it’s weird?" Bucky says, finally giving in. "The whole … time thing?"
"I think it’s very weird, but so’s you returning from the dead and kvetching about it." Her eyes narrow when he starts to protest. His mouth closes again. "Besides," she continues, shuffling her hand around, "it doesn’t sound all that fun."
"To have the power to never make mistakes?"
"To have to live through every mistake twice without anyone knowing."
Something about her words strikes him like a match, and so he tilts his head and squints at her and thinks that maybe, just maybe, he’s got it wrong.
That you carry not only your past, but all the futures you’ve seen that never came to be; all the what ifs having turned into answers.
And he thinks, how nice. And then he thinks, how horrifying.
It’s a thought that follows him over the next couple of weeks, and it starts reframing your interactions for him, in a way.
"Will you stop staring at me," you say without looking up from your book.
Honestly, he can’t. He’s still trying to pick up on it, the split second between before and after, that little change of your posture, your hair, your face, that tells him more time has passed for you than it has for him.
It’s more of a feeling than anything else, something right at the back of his mind telling him that something is different if he concentrates on it enough, but he’s never sure what it is. And he doesn’t like that; not one bit.
So Bucky crosses his arms and leans back. "Why?"
A flash of irritation makes your nose twitch, even though you still refuse to meet his eye.
"It’s rude, for one."
"Noted." He waits for the two that never comes. "Anything else?"
And there it is. A blink-and-you-miss-it kind of moment, like the air shifting around you ever so slightly, a certain knowing glint in your eyes when you roll them and get up.
"Annoying!"
He can’t help it. He wonders what your original answer was.
***
Bucky’s relationship with time changes slowly, the deepest cuts carefully mending themselves until looking back doesn’t feel like getting his bones ripped apart anymore, until he looks at you on a cold day in January and realizes he’s fucked.
At first, he hopes that it might be a fluke. A trick of the light, maybe, or seasonal allergies. That’s the reason why his eyes are drawn to your face as soon as he enters a room; the closest source of discomfort always the thing he seeks out first. That’s the reason why his chest constricts like that.
But the truth is, he knows this feeling has been building slowly; he’s just been unwilling to admit it.
Something soft and delicate has started to nestle in that gaping hole inside his chest, unbothered by the walls he’s so carefully built up.
He’d never planned on you.
Fuck, if he’d known in the beginning, he might’ve …
No, he thinks. He wouldn’t have changed anything.
Because you’re too good for him, anyway, and he knows it. Smart and strong and funny and gorgeous and capable of things he’s not sure he’ll ever fully comprehend; and it’s worse than that, because he knows you now.
You’re grouchy in the mornings and you make terrible jokes when you’re nervous and you have a strange feud with his cat and your smile makes him want to put his fist through the wall because what is he supposed to do with any of this?
He’s not made for this dance anymore. That part was taken from him so long ago, and he’s delusional to think that anything or anyone could return it to him after all the bridges he’d been made to cross and burn. Why would someone like him deserve to be given tenderness anymore in this life? Why would anyone want to try?
But that foolish thing blooming inside him feels a lot like hope, despite of what he keeps telling himself.
There’s just something about you that keeps pulling him in, and honestly, he’s tired of fighting it. Then again, the thought of you feeling the same is nothing short of ridiculous.
He’s not the same guy as he used to be. Hell, sometimes he’ll look at old photographs and barely recognize himself.
He remembers life before, and maybe that’s what makes this so hard. He remembers talking to pretty girls, their bright smiles, their soft skin underneath his hands. Good times were easy to come by, even though life was hard in a different way, then. But he was good at it; acting on his feelings alone used to be simple, fun, second-nature almost.
It’s different now.
It used to be different only once before, and look where that’s gotten him.
No, he can’t say anything. Not ever; or not yet, at any rate.
Sometimes, though, Bucky lies awake at night and listens to the rain knocking against his window, and he remembers how much easier falling asleep used to be when he had someone next to him and his mattress didn’t swallow him alive.
He’ll remember the dark circles under your eyes and wish it could be as easy as asking, too. He wonders if there’s a universe you remember where he tries, but he doubts it.
These days, he knows his mind again. And it’s not a burden he wants to share.
You have enough to carry on your own.
Maybe, he thinks as he stares up at the ceiling at three in the morning, maybe there’s still a certain comfort in your powers, in knowing all the possibilities, but it also means constantly losing something that’s real; always mourning the life that isn’t.
He can relate to that.
And maybe that means you can relate to him, too, at least a little bit.
It’s odd, how comforting that last little thought is to him.
When he does eventually fall asleep, you make your way into his dreams, too, sometimes. Those times are the worst.
You’re you, and he’s him, and there’s a sort of "us" in the both of you that doesn’t exist in real life. So when you let him lace his fingers with yours and press your lips to his forehead and it feels easy, that’s usually the point when he wakes up, heart tumbling over itself, right hand tracing the ghost of your touch, always too much, never enough.
He knows it’s not real.
He knows it’s just an indulgence; selfish, really.
The problem is that whatever small hope has decided to settle in his very core is impossible to kill, no matter how much he pushes it down; and he’s not sure he wants to lose it again.
Secretly, silently, serendipitously, you make him have faith in the future again.
But it’s not time for it yet.
if you want to read more about these two (plus a lot of time related shenanigans), read the main series here. or check out the rest of my bucky fics, that's also an option 💚 i don't do tag lists but you can follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications
#bucky barnes x reader#time after time#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes x you#bucky x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes series#marvel fanfic#mcu fanfic#inbox#sleepover time#tiff 🌤
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Tragically, Tumblr doesn't allow enough options to include every game, so Dream Land 1 was removed </3 (and tragically I couldn't include an option for the spinoffs either </3 )
#not a comic or an ask#kirby#kirby nightmare in dream land#kirby's dream land 2#kirby super star ultra#kirby's dream land 3#kirby 64 the crystal shards#kirby and the amazing mirror#kirby squeak squad#kirby's return to dream land#kirby triple deluxe#kirby planet robobot#kirby star allies#kirby and the forgotten land#still no asks drawn i'm afraid! i've been working on other stuff lately#honestly i think this blog is gonna be going into one of its hiatuses again soon#but polls are fun! so i'll be posting polls for a couple weeks#i actually wanted to do a ''what was your first kirby game'' poll this week#but the limited space for options makes that one more complicated to do. i'm gonna have to group games together#so i also need to figure out *which* games to group together#but i'll still do it another week! in the meantime though here's this poll!#and many apologies to anyone whose favourite kirby game is a spinoff 😔 i didn't have space#and also to anyone whose favourite is dream land 1 but i removed that one hoping there *wouldn't* be too many of you?#since super star's spring breeze is just dream land 1: abridged plot-wise#but personally return to dream land and its remake are my favourite!!#magolor my beloved <3#crowned and the rest of the ost my beloved <3#the lor as a fun hub area my beloved <3#and i just. honestly really love how much dialogue rtdl has. it's one of if not *the* kirby game with the most dialogue in it#and the magolor epilogue that the remake added was amazing!! ...aaaand i'm out of tags fgshshf
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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💛
#hello little stars#i've missed you so#wee update on me: i'm actually doing quite well at the moment#things were a little iffy there for a minute but i'm in a very healthy mental space right now#i feel more like myself than i have in a long time#which is a very welcome thing#unfortunately during the process of obtaining said healthy mental state my shameless hyperfixation abruptly broke into pieces#it isn't that i don't still have love for the show - i do - i just don't feel consumed by it anymore#it doesn't occupy the same space in my brain that it once did#instead that space has been opened up to new interests and ideas and hobbies and yes even the occasional new blorbo#and i will not lie to y'all - it feels good#as to the future of this account i think it's going to become less of a fandom blog and more of a whatever-i-feel-like-posting blog#a scrapbook of my interests where i put stickers of shows and movies i like on the page and scribble my most incoherent thoughts#a personal blog if you will#i'm very grateful for the last three years of my life and all the things + people this show brought to me#but it just isn't IT for me anymore - y'know?#anyway#if you've read this far - i love you#i've missed you#come say hi#i promise i don't bite#also a URL change will probably be coming in the near future so if you're like um who the HELL is that?! it's probably me#blessed be my babies#ily very much
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"For particularly important things, it's always more reassuring to write them down like this." - Zhang Beihai
[ID in alt text]
#my art#three body problem#3 body problem#zhang beihai#三体#章北海#i've been meaning to draw three body problem characters and actually post them on my blog for quite some time!#so if anybody wants me to draw any specific character from the series feel free to reply here or send an ask as a request!#beihai is my top favorite and he resonated with me more than i expected! i rather liked bits of consequentialist philosophical ideas in him#anyways incoming ramble/infodump in the tags about various subjects pertaining to him#all you need to know about me is that i often lurk in chinese language fandom spaces and you might see commonalities in designs#if you see fanartists draw him with the broken eyebrow and mole then that's due to the 我的三体 (my three-body) donghua adaptation!#admittedly i was introduced to the series through that adaptation years ago because it seemed rather absurd (minecraft haha) but oddly good#at least check out the third season (haven't seen the fourth one yet but that's ongoing actually) or listen to 夜航星 (night voyager)#i'm rather curious how fanartists on tumblr might tackle character designs since i mostly see the two live action adaptations here#i want to diverge my designs from any particular adaptation but my beihai design takes a lot from 我的三体!#now about beihai- i really enjoyed his characterization and i'd like to bring up a maybe unintentional parallel and foil with the eto#hopefully that's something new to add to the discussion about zhang beihai and here's what adaptations don't get about mike evans#in the book he's a character you mostly only hear about from others and he's known to be a private person#he conceals a lot of his thoughts from even people like ye wenjie + he taught the trisolarans about deceit#then his strategy to kill luo ji was to keep it low and make it seem like an accident which those obfuscations of thought parallels beihai#then evans says: “but… it's obvious now that everywhere is the same” which is similar to beihai's “it doesn't matter. it's all the same”#the contexts differ but i think they're good foils about human nature “being the same” with evans's quote being about futility#then beihai's was about how regardless of if he survived or not- someone else would be able to carry on with his work#i have many other thoughts about beihai like how chu yan's (captain of blue space) group approach with the voting contrasts beihai#while beihai tried to bear the weight of attacking the other ships in solitude- chu yan made vengeance against trisolaris a group effort#(which that action goes against how the swordholder was a solitary role instead of a group one which is neat to me!)#i'd discuss more but i think that's enough to show that i really love zhang beihai (feel free to discuss the books with me though)
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It's been rolling around in my brain the last few days for some reason, but I still hate the family backstory reveals for Sophie and Eliot. I've seen some of the meta for it, but quite frankly, it still makes no sense. If it had been something actually thought of and intentional in the original, I think it could have been so fascinating. I mean, Sophie's willing abandonment of Astrid to contrast with Nate's loss of Sam or Eliot's adoption in contrast with Hardison's and Parker's? Could have been excellent! But they came out of nowhere in Redemption and don't work with these characters.
Sophie was still actively using the fucking alias that she met Astrid under! She met with someone from her past on the show! Like. Quite frankly, that one is unequivocally bullshit that they made up and threw in and pretended could fit with the established canon. (And I'm sorry, but the idea of Sophie abandoning Astrid and never telling Nate about her just... So much of Nate's trauma was rooted in the loss of Sam, and I think that introducing this element after he's gone and unable to respond to it taints Sophie and Nate's relationship in a way bc I'm not exactly sure how Nate would've responded to learning about this but I think that it's something he'd have needed to know. I don't know how to fully express my thoughts on that but yeah.)
As for Eliot, I don't like the adoption aspect literally at all. The way that he would interact with his family and the memory of his family would be different, and I think that it's flat out ridiculous to think that he'd have never mentioned it to the team in the original show, especially when dealing with the kid cases. (I also dislike the biracial adoption as its own element because if Eliot was actually raised by Black parents in the... idk what 80s/90s? That just. doesn't feel congruent with how they write Eliot interacting with PoC, not necessarily in a bad way, but babe, he's written like a white southern man raised in a specific kind of culture that does not jell with that. It also makes Eliot look... really bad that he was apparently raised with the knowledge of how fucked up the military was and his parents' history and made the choices that he did.) Like the show may not have explicitly stated it but the implication of that relationship was vastly fucking different throughout the original show.
Just. These were not backstories that were congruent with their depiction and characters in the original show, and they're also just moves that I don't particularly like or find interesting directions for those characters. There's also something to be said about how it was apparently unacceptable for a woman to not have kids or someone not reconciling with their biological family when that was something that the original show handled a lot better. Out of all the directions to take Sophie and Eliot's stories, that's just not really one that I think was a good idea.
#i'm not sure if i worded this v well tbh which concerns me#bc like. like i said i dont like the adoption plot anyways but part of my problem with that storyline IS that billy is black#bc i don't think that the way eliot is written makes sense if he was raised by a black couple during that decade#bc the way that he would have engaged with his family and community and the world around him would've been different#especially bc he was raised in the fucking south in the 80s#bc i dont think eliot was ever racist in the original show but i dont think that he really knew#how it was different for poc in certain ways that dont make sense if he was raised by a black couple#like the previous implications of his childhood and specifically his father were v much in the stereotypical v pro military be a man cultur#that culture is also v rooted in toxic masculinity and whiteness#God i hope that makes sense bc i feel like that sounds v bad#but i'd love more black characters on the show and i think that for pretty much any other mc that'd have been fine#it's specifically eliot with the space that he occupies that i feel like it's a problem with his backstory#which also is why i dont like that he's adopted at all bc that's an influential part in how you first view your place and family and all th#that i dont think makes sense with eliot's character. like literally nothing about that reveal really feels like it makes sense with eliot#and to move over to sophie for a second i feel like bringing up the abandoned stepdaughter would have been pretty damn important#when sophie was struggling with the idea of who she really was beneath the aliases and the grift#and especially when she's in a relationship with nate who WAS a father like#and that she used the charlotte alias to meet with someone from her past but there wasnt anything about the fallout#which still makes no fricking sense either way#also insert something about sophie being an older woman without kids#(i know there's the ot3 but they're not actually in a position as her kids bc theyre still equals in a sense)#and needing to actually go no no she was a mom! and then bailed and did all this and blah blah but she's always been a mom in her heart <3#and adding in this relationship as if an older woman cant be satisfied or complete without kids#and i know that ppl might bring up parker but like lbr parker is positioned in a v different space narratively than sophie#ofc parker doesn't have kids she's positioned in a space as the Odd one the kinda broken one#her defying the expectations narratively doesnt necessarily work the same bc of her place#idk i kinda hope these dont end up in the main tags bc idk how ppl will respond nor how well i actually got across my points#but i do wanna tag them for my blog so#leverage#sophie devereaux
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Dracula cats! Catula! Again i have been persuaded into sharing art from the @lxgentlefolkcomic discord - this time it's cat designs of the characters of dracula.
notes under the readmore
- the only ones with cat breeds are quincey (maine coon), arthur (british shorthair) and lucy (british longhair) - oh, and dracula, who is some kind of oriental, becausv i wanted him to have that Weird and Slinky look, and also the weird nose shape. he gets more black as he feeds, which obviously isnt a thing cats can do, but it does come in in the same pattern that points do (extremities first) - being a maine coon, quincey is huge. that is all its just worth saying again - jonathans eyes also get a slightly red overlay after his time with dracula. because of the horrors. - quincey harker has his dads freckles, his mums eyes, and also her little wonky cross marking - if lucy and arthur did get to have children/kittens they would have been very cute. alas
#dracula daily#my art#dracula#jonathan harker#john seward#mina harker#and the rest lol#but as cats#hehehe i love designing cats actually so watch this space i might do more for other lxgf members who knowwssss (not me)#much cuter and far fewer wolves than the last piece of art from this blog#id for all pics in alt text btw#catula#league of extraordinary kittyfolk
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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Bro i was listening to Taylor swift and ‘don’t blame me’ song reminded me of Rin deadass
✦゜ANSWERED: YEAHHHHH!! IT TOTALLY FITS HIM!! @yourunhingedgirlfriend once made a Ren mood board(?) including that song as well, and it hasn't left my mind since ^^ <3
But yeah!! I still stand by the headcanon that [REDACTED] is in his Reputation era and Ren is in his Lover era ;v; Also, in this 391,490,009 page essay I will be talking about how "Mastermind" and "Hey Stephen (Taylor's Version)" are such Ren/[REDACTED] coded songs, and that the entire Evermore and Folklore albums were the inspiration behind Elanor's charac-
#Mother Taylor raised me so you KNOOOOW I'm all over that cryptic and machiavellian stuff >:)#It's why I have /massive/ 14DWY spoilers hidden all over this blog for y'all to find and work out ghjsdghjs#And there's even a TS song reference in one of the endings for Day 2!!#But ya.... I love her sm ;v; She's a big inspiration for me#Like.... this is probably gonna sound really cliche and silly but I /genuinely/ do admire Taylor Swift and her music <3#Everyone probably thinks she's overrated because Shake It Off/Love Story/Blank Space/etc were so overplayed on the radio#But Clean?? My Tears Ricochet??? You're Losing me????? GAHHHH!!!!!!!! T____T#So many amazing songs and people aren't listening to it!!!!!! /lh#Anyways!! Speak Now (Taylor's Version) is coming out soon and it's gonna feature Paramore and FOB <3 I'm crying. Sobbing actually /silly#Also!!! That means Last Kiss is gonna make a comeback and my inner child is healing!!!#💌 — answered.#💖 — about ren.#🖤 — shut up sai.#Not me ranting in the tags about how much I love TS kjgbSDJG Embarrassing..........#💖 — 14 days with queue.
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I have become the tumblr guy that pops in every now and then to interact with all my mentions and spam post and then peace out into the ether again
#I blame artfight and comms atm for taking up all my brain space and energy#but i'm having so much fun#I also got my rp blog up and running and i'm !!! actually rping with someone it's been so long#me when I trim a post successfully >:D I have mastered tumblr rp nothing can stop me (many things could stop me)#moots if u have rp blogs for ur oc's give me the url rn this is a threat 👈👈 (finger guns my most dangerous weapon)#I always put stuff like that in the tags moots do u read my tags like the thrown away newspaper yes or no </3#ANYWAY I'm also almost enrolled into all my sem2 units but I haven't picked my elective yet#think i'm gonna go for this drama one which I think is about writing stage plays ? their wording is always whack so idk#we'll see and i'll shuddup now going to specsavers to get new glasses so I can SEE and also DRIVE love u bye#nadine is typing...
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The amount of mischaractarization happening in this Fandom ALONE is upsetting and there's so many people that will do it deliberately despite the creator of designs/characters stating they DONT like it is kind of,, concerning. Like how are you that comfortable kicking around OCs or characters/designs for your own enjoyment? I'm so sorry that happened to you multiple times. It really is unsettling at how comfortable people are with making jokes or punching around designs in this Fandom and it's half the reason I don't post tsp content and stay anonymous in ask boxes and I'm sure I'm not the only one too
Sorry for the ramble this has just been on my mind for so long,, like since April of last year
wrapping my arms around you & holding you very closely
#anonymous#inbox#TSP blogging#YOU SAID IT ALL BUDDY ALL I CAN DO IS AGREE#if we're not overly sexualizing certain designs then i guess we're diminishing others.... yeehaw#if you would ever be so kind to share i would love to see your TSP stuff#this fandom is TERRIBLE about boundaries & respect actually. that doesn't get talked about enough#I MEAN AS ANY BIG FANDOM IS but we are literally so miniscule compared to other fandoms#but my god you've got people's private art getting shoved into public spaces - character interps getting stepped on to hell & back#I WAS IN THE DANGANRONPA FANDOM & I SAW SOME STUFF BUT NEVER EXPERIENCED ANYTHING LIKE THIS. ON GOD
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@ the latest anon who sent me a message (the one that starts with: 'To be fair, it isn’t just ‘someone holding beliefs that you happen to disagree with...'): Yeah, we're not doing this, sorry. I already explained that I actively keep real-life issues out of my blog and I explained why. I am not comfortable with people telling me who I should block. I am not comfortable with people trying to guilt me, as you did, to give some sort of a statement about someone I never even interacted with. I don't know this person whose blog you are referencing. I don't know the person who sent the first anonymous message. I don't know you.
This is the end of this conversation. Hope you have a lovely day.
#anonymous#messages#I am not publishing your full message#because I already explained why I don't want any political and social content on my blog#I deal with so much of it in my work environment#that's literally huge part of what I do for a living#y'all love to talk about mental health and safe spaces#both of which are very important in an individual's life#but apparently these concepts do not apply to people#who just want to unwind and actually NOT think about these things in this environment?#make it make sense#and miss me with it please
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Mmmhh...
#(Basically rant on my last two posts)#I know I've said it before and sorry for coming off as annoying–#but I really wish we still had a central bsd blog on Tumblr like fy-bungoustraydogs or bsd-central or things of the kind.#I think now everyone rushes to post news first. And although there's merit to it in knowing news as soon as they happen‚#in the long run the death of this kind of central official content ***fan*** blogs is such a huge loss of fandom spaces‚#especially for the archiving purposes they solved. Especially today that T/witter and G/oogle have basically become unusable.#Literally. Literally. I've been doing official content archiving since I was 11#(because that's the very specific kind of mental illness I have)#and let me tell you that the quality of web search and especially reverse image search only got worse–#in a way that is very evident and noticeable. Which is crazy tbh and not how things should work.#If anyone would like to start a bsd-central kind of blog I'll be the first one to follow.#Actually if anyone actually wants to establish it feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to share the resources I have!!!!#It just needs to be something multi-modded for a series of reasons I won't get into right now#I just can't personally do it (not as main admin at least) because that would be modding my FIFTH active bsd blog–#and that's a little too much even for me.#On top of some ethical concerns I have regarding whether it'd be fair for me to mod a fandom central bsd blog–#when I feel like I can't genuinely share the same amount of love for the franchise other fans share#On top of. You know. Getting a degree eventually hopefully.#Then years after the blog has been solidly enstablished and aquired enough credibility it could even open a free donations found to invest–#in buying and scanning and releasing bsd content that hasn't been shared yet like the guidebooks or illustration books or everything else–#for everyone to see...#The dream. (Is realistically never going to happen) (Won't stop me from daydreaming about it every day)#((Still salty I couldn't afford the guidebooks only due to the shipment prices. I *would* have scanned and uploaded them.))#That was a long and idealistic rant. Kyotag out#Edit: *Modding my SIXTH bsd blog#Apparently I mod so many blogs I lost count of them
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seeing so many incredible and actual legendary fandom writers/legends here and feeling so humbled and grateful but too shy to talk to anyone
me five seconds later realizing y’all are going to discover the truth that I’m Not Cool but instead a worm behind a desktop who writes way too many weird AU’s, writes & loves anime too and watches way too many sports
#this is like when so many big anime blogs followed me and I was like ‘I’m sorry I’m in love with Pedro pascal & write for him’#I’m sorry I’m a mess but hi howdy I’m actually still in awe of so many of yall??#you guys write actual epics and I’m like ‘scary hot cowboy monsters!’ but wow do I appreciate just being in the same space as yall#so many of you paved the way for little blogs like me and I truly am so grateful#Erika shut up tag
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