#i AM actually studying
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I think I need to bath in ice
#it's so fucking hot#and i ran out of my ice coffee except i am still at a coffeeshop studying ochem and getting another cold drink costs money#sos#ema rambles#and yes despite all appearances (read: me constantly rebloging and posting stuff in the last few hours)#i AM actually studying#currently going through aldehydes and ketons#again
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doylist explanation for why Gidel is only in Fellow's non-idle lesson animations: probably something about space constraints and making sure two sprites in one seat aren't covering anyone else when they're not in focus
watsonian explanation for why Gidel is only in Fellow's non-idle lesson animations: he snuck in and is hiding from the teachers, don't give him away 🤫
(I've reached my limit of unsuccessful attempts at pulling them before I need to save keys for Halloween, so I've been living vicariously through youtube videos...but the fact that Gidel just pops up from under the desk to wave his arms around happily is really testing my resolve. D: I'm gonna die when they finally get to do alchemy...)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#i hope you didn't think i was done with these dorks#they're here to study and also steal everything (including our hearts)#i forget if rollo has a similar line about what he's doing at nrc but i imagine he made sure it was all meticulously above-board#carefully planned out and all his papers in precise order#meanwhile fellow kicks down the door and is like 'what up birdman i'm here to learn some HISTORY'#'also this is my emotional support child. ...wait what do you mean you have precedent for this'#(he does have another home screen line that's like)#('i thought ortho was weird when i met him')#('but now i'm realizing that this school is actually just incredibly buckwild all the time')#sigh. i know fellow and gidel's adventures at nrc are non-canon but i really just want this random adult man inexplicably just there.#the more twst becomes cromartie high the happier i am
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you know what, there's a fic out there you might recognise through this image, but if not - @reedroad, i see you and i am grateful for this delicious pain
but yeah
i needed to focus on the part that offers some comfort because it is in my nature i guess
#art is a coping mechanism#fan art#interview with the vampire#devil's minion#iwtv armand#iwtv fanart#iwtv art#amc iwtv#amc immortal universe#iwtv spoilers#assad zaman#daniel molloy#kiiiinda#i pinky swear i actually studied Eric's hands bc i am a NERD#i drew this as a palette cleanser after work stuff
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throwback to when me and my friend found a white bird while walking and I kept on thinking about how it was literally Nikolai
#So here’s Nikolai bird and other stupid Nikolai birds because that’s his aesthetic now#Am I meant to be studying for mid years?#Yes#Am I actually studying for mid years?#Nuh uh#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd nikolai#bsd gogol#bsd fanart#bungo stray dogs#bungou gay dogs#bungo stray dogs fanart#my art#digital art
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something. about. the horror of being sent on an impossible (death) quest and obligations and hospitality politics. the trauma of not having a home, and then the trauma of being in a house that becomes actively hostile to you, one that would swallow you whole and spit out your bones if you step out of line. all of this is conditional, your existence continues to be something men want gone.
it's about going back as far as I can with the perseus narrative because there's always a version of a myth that exists behind the one that survives. the missing pieces are clearly defined, but the oldest recorded version of it isn't there! and there's probably something older before that!! but it's doomed to forever be an unfilled space, clearly defined by an outline of something that was there and continues to be there in it's absence.
and love. it's also about love. even when you had nothing, you had love.
on the opposite side of the spectrum, this is Not About Ovid Or Roman-Renaissance Reception, Depictions And Discourses On The Perseus Narrative.
edit: to add to the above, while it's not about Ovid, because I'm specifically trying to peel things back to the oldest version of this story, Ovid is fine. alterations on the Perseus myth that give more attention Medusa predate Ovid by several centuries. this comic is also not about those, either! there are many versions of this story from the ancient world. there is not one singular True or Better version, they're all saying something.
Perseus, Daniel Ogden
Anthology of Classical Myth: Primary Sources in Translation, edited & translated by Stephen M Trzaskoma, R. Scott Smith, Stephen Brunet
#perseus#danae#komiks tag#long post#every other week i start to say something about how greek heroes are a good case study in diaspora and exile trauma#but man perseus makes me so sad. so does danae. she loves her son :(#perseus turning a whole island to stone is a huge mood. i would also do that if i were him#anyway (salutes) take care everyone i gotta watch yunho's new video it looks like a fucking movie im so excited#(i singled out ovid bc i remember the fucking shit perseus discourse that ran through this site. i remember#im preemptively loading a gun and pointing at it before it can touch this post#it hasn't died out either i see it on twitter all the time in the most ANNOYING ways possible i am TIRED#esp bc they're actually doing medusa a narrative disservice like congrats! you made it worse! stop telling me it's better!!!!)#it’s all greek to me
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Sae Niijima is such a good character it drives me insane a little. She's not a mother nor a maternal or doting older sister but instead a twenty four year old who was thrown into a position of responsibility that she never asked for. She loves Makoto just as much as she resents her and its so apparent every time they talk up until November. "Are you studying?" (I want you to do well) (I need you to get a job and stop making my life harder) "I'll use any method necessary to get this promotion" (Life will be easier for us) (So stop distracting me with your problems) "Focus on your future" (I know that you're capable) (I can't afford to waste my time on you, so stop wasting time on others)
Makoto is not only the sole reason she pushes as hard as she does for a promotion, for success, and the reason that she loses herself in her animosity over her fathers death, but also someone she can't stand for so long. Makoto was 14-15 when their father died. Sae was 21. As soon as she got the career she wanted and things started to look up, her stability was robbed from her and she was disillusioned with the system that her father had taught her to rely on and completely adhere to. How do you manage, the daughter of a cop, following his footsteps towards law enforcement, when you're suddenly reminded of how unfair it is? You can't quit, your little sister relies on you and she's so young and struggling just as badly with this grief. So you pick yourself up and you get moving again. You push harder, press further. You abandon your morals and your ethics because punishing criminals (guilty or not) is almost like punishing the man who killed your father.
And the whole time she's fighting for promotions, going for drinks with the SIU Director to make herself more favourable for promotions, trying to navigate being a woman in a competitive, suffocating, male-dominated field, falling behind despite doing so much where others are promoted for doing so little - all the while your little sister comes back from school and her biggest issues are so small compared to yours.
Persona 5 revolves so heavily around grief and loss and change and Sae embodies all of that so well, all of the sharp and unpleasant and jagged parts of grief.
#sae niijima#persona brainrot real#idk what possessed me for this i jsut love her#beyond her being rlly hot and such a driven and compelling character#the way that we see her on screen is so heavily shaped and influenced by grief that its almost crushing when you notice it#she focuses on work because if she falls behind it could cost her and her sister everything#yet she lives in her fathers house. works a job her father would be proud of. is praised through her proximity to her father.#her sister idolises her and relies on her like a parent. sae was never supposed to be that to her#how am i meant to be your mother and your father? how am i meant to be the source of stability in your life when im not stable in mine#and the whole time your little sister sits there and where shes actually putting on a brave face and forcing through her own grief#struggling to put a life without her father into perspective#to you she just looks ... complacent. willfully ignorant to the situation that you're both in and the struggles you're both facing#why WOULDNT you hate her?#and then you realise that shes not ignorant. shes not as stupid or as oblivious as you thought#every time she was being distracting and asking pointless questions she was just reaching out to you#and each time you had to push her hand away and tell her not now. focus. study.#they drive me insane actually#persona 5#p5r#persona 5 royal#makoto niijima
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Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!
Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*
Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!
#original#the last unicorn#tlu#peter s beagle#molly gru#schmendrick#schmendrick the magician#two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first!#my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped!#no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different.#to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life!#but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb#the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!!#my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘#i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful.#and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE#mostly zoro's blades from One Piece#normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and#then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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That fucking fish that I hate‼️
#pressure roblox#roblox pressure#pressure roblox fanart#roblox pressure fanart#sebastian solace#sebastian solace fanart#I actually can’t stand him I love him so much I want to make sushi out of him#Or put him under a microscope to study him and his assholeness#Of all things why am I fixated on a ROBLOX GAME HRGRHSKFHDK
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so....
I did it
#it was a very chaotic process#i can rest now#(or watch qsmp till 7am. again)#ive never actually studied anatomy so.... sorry#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#qsmp fanart#qsmp etoiles#qsmp philza#qsmp tubbo#qsmp cellbit#spiderbit#i guess its all#i hope there are no spelling mistakes cuz i am dumb and there were some#ntfl art stuff
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me: i really like celegorm. i think he's a really interesting character and i enjoy rotating him in my mind like a particularly ill tempered pigeon
also me whenever i see luthien content: get his ass. steal his dog. bonk him over the head with a hammer. no rights.
#hilariously celegorm is actually not my fav feanorian#my fav is caranthir#tolkien#silmarillion#silm#celegorm#luthien#listen. LISTEN. is he my war crime blorbo??#yes.#however i am also not a weirdo who thinks the men in the extended works can do no wrong#i am a luthien stan (affectionate)#i am a celegorm stan (studying him under a microscope with malevolent intent)
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i can trick myself into classic art studies if i get to draw my fav character lol
#neopets#neoart#my art#the darkest faerie#i bought some classic art books because i havent been happy with anything ive drawn for months. so figured it was art study time#and i am actually shocked at how well this turned out. alphonse mucha's style is surprisingly easy to practice in#im going to do more of his style plus some of the other art books i got#my anatomy has been sufffferrring because of not having my own resources and just winging it. time to do lots of studies
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Just Loop.
#fanart#my art#artists on tumblr#isat#isat spoilers#isat loop#human loop#crossover#ddlc monika#implied!!!#ddlc#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#two hats spoilers#isat ss discord casually gives me cursed ideas this week#and I am more that happy to sketch#because yep that one is on me#I love this more than I should probably#basically a study of both the actual isat style AND colors#I wanted to draw Loop's eyes for a long time#isat fanart#isat au#basically!
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I listen to the peachyville horror for the plot
#I am so out of practice AND IT SHOWS!!!#BUT I NEEDED TO SPEEDRUN THIS TO GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD SO I CAN ACTUALLY STUDY FOR MY EXAM TOMORROW YIPPEE#dndads#my art#suggestive#trudy trout#Kelsey grammar#the peachyville horror#ill draw them good or something this weekend I have TWO DAYS OFF
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Doodle dump before bed
A ddbb if you will
#my art#ms paint#tomtord#tordtom#norska#i made these instead of studying for a test#also I am sleep deprived again yes#it's when the magic happens hehe#does anyone even read these#if you read this comment poop#or dont actually#uhhhhhhh im gonna go sleep now#gn norska nation
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Tuesday is chuu day! (x)
#more haniwa redraws because i am Sick and Twisted#duck scribbles#i might as well remake the entire mv atp but no editor </3#i wanted to put a part of the lyrics in the caption but they all give me secondhand embarrassment im sorry#actually drawing this in general also did. i think ill need a while to recover#enstars#midoyuzu#yuzumido#midori takamine#yuzuru fushimi#ensemble stars#tori voice if youre gonna flirt in here at least lock the door#ignore the fact its still monday its tuesday somewhere else in the world#anyways have you seen the new profiles. they did that for me specifically i think im never getting over it#hes studying painting..... im so proud of her...........#also read the fuyume midori story its rly cute :'] disaster mentor and little brat princess#regardless. back to finals hell i go </3
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