#i dunno i just wanted to vent and i will delete this later.

[spacecatdet]

Already seen victim blaming on xitter 👍 Lets not do that and lets leave the hermits alone. Make up your own minds on if you should support Iskall. But I feel like if one of his VH team members leaving for differing morals, the hermits going back 6 plus years to remove him from thumbnails and titles, and removing him from the site and merch should be enough Doc even said they can't talk about it which could mean anything, including something legal. Mumbo said there were no minors invovled but doesn't mean others weren't since there ARE victims Just leave the hermits be, and let the victims decide if they want to come out. And stop victim blaming lmao

[girlfox]

━

[carbonateddelusion]

sits here. my mood has been swinging back and forth like a pendulum lately

[binders-and-beanies]

Doin bad again folx

[lucyvaleheart]

.

[squidthechaotickid]

Hm. Vent in tags.

[coridallasmultipass]

.

[arsen1cs4ng0]

tbh i kinda hate how vosim's overtaken a lot of my life + identity and shit, and it hurts for me to say this

[a-lonely-tatertot]

I dont think theres any feeling like losing a friend

[gltzgghln]

my feelingce on weed r so complicated cuz I like stoner culture and the plant has helped me thru anxiety and flares but withdrawal is real and smoking anything WILL fuck up ur throat. maybe I'm just more sensitive than other ppl who smoke

also I'm very lucky to be in communities w stoners who recognize addiction and addictive behaviors. Addiction runs in my family and I know I have addictive behaviors that I probably got from my dad :/

I wish like. People were nicer to addicts in general. People will say "you have an addiction" and I still can never tell if after my addictive behaviors are acknowledged that they will still love me even if I repeat something that isn't 100% beneficial to me

[cinnoasch]

Is it ok if I request an Akira scenario where he's helping Y/N achieve her 'true persona'? How would he react when she achieves her persona? Or, different case scenario, how would Y/N react to Akira's "new form" when he gains HIS persona. dunno if this would work out, I've kinda forgot parts of the plot of Persona so I don't rlly remember where or when exactly this happened-

A/N: Hi anon! I'm so so sorry this took so long! I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 2427

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Wish (Akira Kurusu x Fem!Reader)

You let out a sigh as you stare at your phone, occasionally typing some words and then deleting them a few seconds later. Tomorrow, the Phantom Thieves were going to steal Maruki’s treasure and fix reality once and for all. You were a bit nervous, but you had faith that things would turn out the way you hoped. The only thing that was bothering you however… was Akira. Besides the short conversations you had with the team during palace exploration, you hadn’t talked to him outside of that. You really wanted to, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to text or call him.

It was silly honestly. He was your boyfriend, yet here you were unable to talk to him. When you two first started dating, Akira told you that he would always be there for you, no matter what. Whether you needed to vent, talk or just wanted his company, he’d be there. Yet what about you? You hadn’t been there for him when he started the infiltration on Maruki’s palace. You had a hunch that things weren’t right from the start of the New Year, yet you couldn’t bring yourself out of that ‘perfect reality’. You wanted things to stay like that, even if he wasn’t by your side. Even if that was what you wanted the most.

Suddenly your phone rings, playing a ringtone you knew far too well. You glance at the screen seeing Akira's name and you answer hesitantly.

"Are you using our text messages as your grocery list again?" He asks.

“Wha- no, why would you ask that?”

“Well, you were taking a long time to type so I just figured you were typing your grocery list out.”

“I wasn’t typing out my grocery list for your information. Shopping’s the last thing on my mind right now.” You sigh. “Anyways, how’d you know I was typing? Were you waiting for me to text you?”

Akira chuckles, “I mean when your girlfriend suddenly cuts you off, a guy can’t help but wonder if he did something wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Akira. It’s just… you know things have been hectic. We’ve been so busy lately with Maruki and everything else.”

“So busy that you can’t talk to me?”

You stay silent. He was right after all. Akira had made sure you all finished planning out a path to the treasure long before the deadline. You had plenty of time to talk to him, but you just felt guilty every time you thought about it.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” He sighs. “It’s just… I miss you;, you know? We’ve barely talked since this whole thing started. And I’m not blaming you, it’s my fault too but if there’s something wrong, I want you to tell me.” 

“I know, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I know it’s late, but I want to talk to you… can I come over?”

“No need, I’m already heading your way. Just wait for me, okay?”

“Okay.”

You hang up and put your phone down on the couch next to you. You were glad that he called but you also felt terrible. The last thing you wanted to do was make him worry, make him feel as if he did something wrong. You hated hearing him like that. Sure, you two had your fights sometimes but this was different. Not only did you betray his trust, but you broke your own promise to him.

Akira must have been closer than you expected because a few minutes later you hear a knock on the door. You go to open it, greeting him with a smile. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He replies a bit out of breath. “You weren’t waiting long, were you?”

“Please tell me you didn’t run here.”

“I didn’t. Definitely not.”

You roll your eyes as you pull him inside and close the door behind him. “Liar. Come on in, before you catch a cold.”

Akira chuckles, “I only did what you told me to. Besides, I was going to show up uninvited, but I’m glad I called you first.”

“So that’s why you said you were already headed over… Well, thank you for calling first.” You clear your throat. “Anyways, um, sit down. Would you like some tea or hot chocolate?”

He shakes his head, “No thanks.” Then he takes a seat on the couch, patting the empty space next to him. “Come here. You don’t have to be so nervous.”

“I’m not nervous…” you mumble as you sit down next to him. “Okay maybe a little, but it’s just because we haven’t talked like this in a while. Like… a serious conversation like this.”

“Would you believe me if I told you I was nervous too?”

“No. You’re always so calm and collected. If you are, I can’t tell.”

“Then here,” Akira says, taking your hand and placing it over his heart. Even through his winter coat, you could feel his heart beating at a quick, steady pace. You glance up, meeting his gaze as he smiles softly. “Now, do you believe me?”

You nod, unable to tear your eyes away from him. Just how lucky were you to have someone like him in your life? Someone that easily washed away the doubts in your mind with a single action. Someone that was so kind to you even after how you treated him. With a simple action and a smile that melted your heart, Akira washed your guilt away. It’s hard to believe that your ‘perfect reality’ didn’t have him by your side. 

“If you keep staring at me like that, we might not get any talking done at all.”

Drawn out of your thoughts, you quickly pull your hand away from Akira’s chest. “S-sorry, I was just thinking…” 

“It’s okay. Still nervous?”

You shake your head. “Nope, nerves are all gone. Thank you.” With a deep breath, you start. “Well, first of all, I wanted to apologize for how I’ve been these past few weeks. I didn’t mean to cut you off like that, and my intention wasn’t to make you think you did something wrong. It’s just… I felt guilty.”

“Guilty?”

“Mhm… the truth is, I knew from the beginning that this reality was off. I’m not sure how I knew, it was just a hunch really. But, instead of telling you, I pretended to not know. It’s just seeing everyone so happy… it wouldn’t feel right taking that away. Yet in the end, I guess we all made up our minds anyway…” You look down at your hands, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. “The main thing is that I should’ve been there when you first infiltrated Maruki’s palace. And yet I wasn’t. Despite you always being there for me, I couldn’t even be there for you…”

“So you knew…”

You nod, feeling Akira’s gaze. You knew that if you looked at him, you might just end up crying. He didn’t sound mad, if anything it was more surprise and slight disappointment. To be honest, you weren’t sure why you made that choice of not telling him. Maybe it was just how you were, you always had a habit of hiding things from people, even if you didn’t mean to.

To your surprise he ruffles your hair, and you look up, seeing him smile. “I’m not upset. So don’t look so sad. I’m a bit hurt that you didn’t tell me, but it sounds like you had your reasons, right?”

“...yeah. I didn’t want to see our friends have what they wanted the most taken away from them.”

“And what did you want? You probably weren’t affected by Maruki’s reality because you didn’t have it.”

“I…” You hesitate. Would it be selfish of you to say what you wanted? He was already right here next to you. Just like you wanted originally. However, voicing your thoughts aloud was different. If you told him, what would he think? 

“There’s that look again.” Akira says with a small chuckle as his gaze turns towards the ground. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me now. Or ever, if you don’t really want to. But just know that whatever it was, it wasn’t selfish of you to think that way… I mean, all of us, me included, we have our selfish ways, don’t we? That’s why this ‘perfect reality’ came about anyways.”

It wasn't often, but very rarely you saw this type of expression on Akira. It was distant, but there was also a feeling of longing. As if he was trying to come to terms with something. 

“...perfect reality…” You mumble quietly. Then your eyes widen in realization. 

Tonight was the last day for Maruki to contact Akira. You felt stupid for forgetting something so important. Then you look at Akira. Did he have that same look throughout all of this? That look of loneliness? That look easily told you who else was on his mind.

"Maruki contacted you… right? To be honest it slipped my mind… even though it was something so important."

Akira nods. "Yeah, he contacted me."

"And Akechi was there too?"

He looks at you surprised. "How did you-"

"The look on your face. The last time I saw you with that expression was when he died. You two were really close, huh?"

“...yeah.” Akira sighs. “Somehow, Maruki heard of what happened to him and in order to give us another chance at being friends, this reality came to life.” Akira runs his hands through his hair. “If we don’t go through with taking back our reality… Akechi will be alive, and if we don’t… well the answer is obvious.”

You stay silent, not sure of what to say. What could you say to this? 

“It’s a lot to take in, right? You’d think it’d be a simple decision after everything. But when someone’s life is being used like that…like a bargaining chip… it just feels wrong.” Akira shakes his head slightly and glances at you. “What would you do if you were me?”

There was that expression again. How were you supposed to answer him when such a sorrowful expression painted his face?

“I…” You begin hesitantly, trying to find the words to say. “I’d go through with what we started. Of course, using someone’s life like that is just wrong, but I think it’d be best if we went through with it. I think Akechi wouldn’t be able to stand knowing that we turned our backs on what we originally planned to do. If we did that… it’d just seem like his sacrifice in Shido’s palace was for nothing… at least that’s how I feel.”

Akira chuckles, “Sounds about right.” He sits up, leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling. “I thought the exact same thing.”

“You already gave Maruki your answer then… So why ask for my opinion?”

He hums in thought, a smile appearing on his face. “Because your opinion is important to me. Why do you think I was in such a rush to get here, to talk to you? During this whole thing, I’ve heard everyone’s opinions on what they thought we should do about this reality. Yet the one person whose opinion I wanted to hear the most, the person whose opinion is the most important to me, never contacted me to talk.” Akira turns to you, a soft expression on his face. “You know I’ll always be here for you right? No matter what. So don’t keep your feelings or thoughts locked inside.”

You blink a couple of times, feeling tears start to prick at your eyes again. You chuckle slightly as you look away from him. “You sure do have a way with words. Makes sense that you’re our leader…” With a sigh you face him with a smile. “I’ve made up my mind. No more keeping to myself. It wouldn't be fair to you, making you worry. I want to be someone you can rely on too.”

You couldn’t explain it but somehow, you felt different after you told Akira that. As if your soul felt stronger somehow, as if a voice in your head told you that you had changed. You weren’t exactly sure what this feeling was, but you knew that you wanted to give back to Akira after all he’s done for you.

You hear him chuckle, about to say something but you place a finger on his lips. “Nope, I know what you’re gonna say. That you already rely on me for a lot, but let me have this okay? I want to trust in this feeling that I have, that I can be stronger for you and the team. If I can’t truly confide in you, then who am I to even wish for you?”

“You… So that was your wish?”

“I-” Your face reddens in embarrassment as you take your hand away from his face and avert your gaze. You didn’t even realize what you had said.

“Oh, what happened to ‘no more keeping to myself’?” Akira teases. “C’mon, be honest now.”

Your face reddens even more as you look down at your hands, mumbling slightly. “I wished for you.”

“One more time? I couldn’t quite hear you.”

“I wished for you! There, happy?” You shout as you look at Akira. He had the widest smirk on his face. You grab the pillow next to you and smother him with it. “Wipe that grin off your face…”

“What? A guy can’t be happy that his girlfriend wished for him? You don’t have to be so embarrassed. Y’know it’s cute that you’d wish for something you already have.”

“Just please… shut up.”

He laughs and suddenly you feel his hands on yours as he lowers the pillow so he can look at you. “But seriously, I’m really happy you told me, even though you said it without realizing. You said it with such conviction, I wasn’t sure if I heard you correctly. You feel… stronger.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“Mm, I think I can prove otherwise.”

You laugh as you look up, meeting his eyes again. “Yeah? And how can you-”

In one swift motion, Akira closes the gap between the two of you, his lips pressing onto yours. It was quick and sweet; you didn’t even have the time to react with how fast it happened.

As he leans his forehead against yours, you can hear him whisper, a bit of playfulness laced in his voice. “Believe me now?”

[crescent-cubed]

sleepy brain says its time to share some inner thoughts

imma be real i am pretty constantly worried about what other people think about me that i just. dont post sometimes bc im anxious people will think im weird or ill lose friends bc of something i posted

sorry if i complain too much btw. i know yall say its okay to complain on my own blog but i dont want to bring people down w me yknow

sorry if i overshare stuff too. i have a bad habit of doing that since i like fully explaining things to paint a full picture.

i just. i dont want to be a bad person and i cant always tell what i should and shouldnt do sometimes so i just shut up and keep to myself and its kinda lonely yknow

should i even post this. do i delete it later if i do. i dunno at this point. should probably go on the vent blog but theres only like 4 people on there and a part of me wants people to see this even if theres another part of me that doesnt want to bother people and idk what to do at this point so im just gonna post it and see what happens ig

[wyrdify]

This is my brain right now. I am burnt out. Beyond it, really. Both my husband and I are. Ramble below cut because I'm just... I need to vent.

My husband works 50 hour weeks with a boss who does not show up most days, yells at him a lot over the phone, isn't clear about what he wants, and is overall abusive. The person who brought my husband into the company takes credit for the work he dumps onto my husband and doesn't come in half the time. Never mind the other issues he deals with on a daily basis. He comes home exhausted every day, and his weekends don't leave him much time to recoup that energy (especially since at least one of our friends likes to ask for help every weekend). To say my husband is looking for other work is an understatement. Y'all know my job. It's part-time, pays minimum wage, corporate thinking it was a good idea to use gifts instead of raises or bonuses, has shit communication with management, is stressful as fuck, et cetera. It sucks. It's sucked for years. I hate it. It makes me cry and rage nearly every time I have to sign into work. Getting out is difficult because it's convenient for me to work from home and not spend money on gas. Plus, my car currently needs a bearing fixed, and it means I can't drive on the highway. I did apply for a part-time job as a library assistant, but I have very little faith in it going anywhere. Working on getting my master's degree in library science is complicated because my past loans are in default, so my husband and I are gonna work on that this weekend when we have time. This is on top of trying to deal with my mental health shit: needing to change systems (which means changing providers, going on wait lists, etc), trying to ensure I have little to no breaks in my actual care, chasing down diagnoses for myself, maybe trying out new therapy... yeah. I will admit to dragging my feet because it honestly sucks that I have to do this, but someone's gotta. I'm just so tired, y'all. It took me months to beat TotK when it normally wouldn't have. I am so tired all the time. I had to work on my birthday, and I could barely enjoy that actual day. The day after was better since I got to get stuff pierced, and I got to go see Barbie, but I still feel... I dunno. Maybe it's depression talking along with the fact that I don't ever handle my birthday well (what is an appropriate amount of attention to receive vs is it even okay to mention it vs is it okay to want attention). I cannot stand my own brain. Anyway, before I keep dissociating, that's just an update. Husband and I are burnt out. I just wanted to vent. I may delete it later. idk my bff jill

[nubinublado]

So weird vent but the whole drama with James Somerton is making me think about this more and more and I just gotta write it out at this point.

So, he deletes comments, i know this because he deleted one of mine. It was on the shipping video responding to the end or it when he started taking about RPF. I believe he made a point about how companies often have their idols queerbait cause #straight women are more comfy with male idols having sex with other men because it "doesn't count" so the idol maintains virginity (NOTE this is me paraphrasing by memory i was literally going rewatch or read the transcript but it is completely gone now holy shit).

But ya, because i'm a huge bts fan i wanted to give my thoughts on what he said about kpop and those problematic games on variety shows would make idols play that were designed to make them accidentally kiss. My comment was basically (again paraphrased from memory)

"Ya it's sucks that idols have to do queerbait-ey things," note the I meant talking about the aforementioned games not anything that would come down to cultural differences like the standard of how affectionate men can be with each other, "especially considering there have to be closeted idols who are queer (but we shouldn't be speculating ppl's sexualites) who are scared to come out because it would jeopardize their careers (not to mention they live in a very conservative country) but then all of a sudden they have to almost kiss their friends/groupmates"

In my comment I wanted to emphasize a fuck the industry cause in general I don't like the whole accusing real ppl of queerbaiting cause even in seemingly cut and dry scenarios like what I've described that person could still be queer and in an even shittier position than their straight counterparts who have to do that crap.

But I digress. Cause I swear the comment wasn't inflammatory at all I didn't name any idols or groups. Just a typical opinion that was left open to discussion. And it confused me on why he deleted it. Now I never tried to get an answer b/c I am of the belief that getting blocked or having a comment deleted is a hint and you should take it. But I'd be lying if i said that whenever that James comes up I don't think "what about that comment bothered him so much?"

Maybe I made a massive typo and accidentally said that we should speculate idols sexualities and I accidently called for a campaign of outing celebrities in a youtube comment section

Maybe I was too unnuanced with the whole no speculation point. Like, if an artist puts queer imagery in their work in a "if you get it you get it" kind of way towards queer fans. Is it problematic if queer fans pick up on the clues, does coming out only count if straight ppl can understand it etc etc. But still I feel like he could have just replied instead of deleting the whole thing. Again wasn't an aggressive comment very much open to discussion.

But he just deleted it. I wasn't mad just confused, still confused. Now that he's been figuratively exposed at every single angle I'm even more confused.

Like ya, it is tempting to say "oh I just wasn't misogynistic enough how dare I suggest that the industry is the real big bad" or "he thinks assuming sexuality is ok because then he can't brush off criticism by just assuming it's coming from a (straight) woman"

But, I dunno I have more integrity than that. Maybe it is a bad take. Still open to discussion it over 3 years later lol.

I've gone back and fourth between whether I should post this or not. But seeing that he's now deleted the video despite neither Hbomber or Todd in the shadow mentioning it their videos has sort of pushed me to archive its existence in some way even if it's just for a petty reason lolol.

[moonstone27ls]

What is CBR’s Problem?

Forgive the minor rant or vent moment? Will delete later.

To those that don’t know CBR, is a comic website. It’ll cover movies/tv shows, etc as well. But just writing this cause lately ... I’m getting kinda miffed at how they’re complaining about Spiderman’s love life.

Before someone gives me  “its their opinion/respect it” crap I get it. But I also have an opinion so I’m just letting it out.

For I wanna say two months. They’ve been kinda dumping on Spidey/MJ’s relationship. And I’m not trying to start a shipping war. Depending on whom, I can be a multishipper. Heck I love reading AUs where Spidey is married to Gwen/or even Black Cat. But since there’s a new storyline (not getting into that, comics are drama lol), where they are split.

That part doesn’t bother me. Its comics, they always find a reason to break up a couple. So that the hero doesn’t seem old to the audience I guess. I mean this isn’t even the first time they’ve been split. So again its not news to me.

Whats been getting on my nerves is that they been dumping on Mary Jane like she was the weakest character to the storyline. One article was basically dumping on her/and writing that Gwen Stacy was the ideal choice. That compared to Gwen, MJ was never good enough. 

Now they wrote an article of how they want them permanently split. Because Spidey is apparently in DESPERATE need of a new girl. 

Again the split isn’t new. It doesn’t even bother me if Peter dates other women, he’s done it before. Whats bothering me is that CBR feels the need to dump on MJ like she’s in the way. I haven’t seen them do this to Scott/Jean Grey. Or even Scott/Emma (that I know offf). This wasn’t done when She Hulk is dating (I dunno who she dates a lot I don’t read that comic). 

And I find it hypocritical that they wrote how Gwen was better. But then I wanna say two weeks before that article they wrote how Gwen/Peter had issues and were apparently a doomed relationship.

Another reason it annoys me is that I feel in minimizes Mary Jane as character. Maybe depending on the writer(or even movie) she’s not handled well. But over the years Marvel has done its best to improve her as a character. She’s just as important as Gwen is (was. I dunno not getting into that either). Just cause she’s not a rocket scientist or whatever, doesn’t mean she’s worthless. I’m not gonna write a big article on her importance. But I have seen other accounts who have done it. And its made me see she’s important.

Not to mention I don’t know why they wanna rush Spidey so much 8B. Why aren’t they rushing Wolverine? Or tons of other heroes. I dunno it annoys me a little. Plus I’ll be honest whats the rush? They probably do have someone planned just take your damn time and wait 8B.

[mudskip-muses]

sitting here thinking if i should go on a semi hiatus and not start any more threads so i can make a dent in my drafts but i also know i wont adhere to it