#70 for Rusty and Kitty
#70 on my Spotify Wrapped: Back Porch by Willie Jones
Spotify / Youtube / Genius Lyrics
(The ask being referred to)
That 70 is for the basically 70,000 words of them that I wrote for my first NaNoWriMo.
Kitty's out on the back porch piecing together another quilt in the last bits of full daylight. In her rocking chair with her feet up on a stool, a look of total concentration on her face. Rusty looks at her through the screen door, sipping a can of beer and watching her as she works.
Her curls get caught in the breeze, not often enough to distract her, but sometimes she has to reach up and brush one aside, black hair against beautiful brown skin, the lighter color of her palms. Rusty could get lost in tracing the lines on her hands for days if she let him.
Her hands, which work so quick as she sews, a steady rhythm in her pace. This is a woman who's mastered her skills, who has little time to mess about. She's working, but because she loves the work, not because it's necessary.
He remembers falling into that same sort of haze as he fixed up that old rocking chair for her. It'd gotten into bad shape, and then one of the rockers had snapped. Kitty had sighed and tossed it out into the scrap. Rusty had snuck out that night and dragged it into the toolshed before the garbageman came.
He'd spent weeks putting it back together, shaping a new pair of rockers, and then sanding, finishing, and sealing. But the work didn't feel like work, not when he considered who it was for.
As she lifted up a yellow triangle to add to her quilt, he remembered that yellow Easter dress she'd had for a few years, with the little white polka dots, and the hat with the lace. She'd looked as pretty as a daffodil in it. Rusty had been sad to see it go.
She took a sip of her sweet tea, and Rusty remembered her teaching him how to make it so long ago, in the early days of their relationship. The way she's been so focused on instructing him that she hadn't noticed that his eyes were following the movements of her body instead, and the way she moved her hands. Her hands. They always drew him in, they were like magic, and she hardly every noticed how she always moved them so gracefully.
A green piece of fabric next. She told him she loved the color of his eyes, green and bright like new leaves, young grass. Rusty always found himself preferring hers. That beautiful warm brown. There couldn't be green growing things without the warmth of the earth.
She kicked off her shoes absentmindedly, sandals dropping down, and Rusty remembers a cross country drive, long before seat belt laws, where she'd at some point in the southwest hung her feet out the window and set her head in Rusty's lap. It hadn't been for more than a few minutes, but Rusty recalled the moment with a clarity that surprised him all these years later. The way she'd looked up at him, smiling.
Cars were always a good thing too. How she'd lean her head out the window sometimes and laugh. How one time they got tangled up in the back of his truck. Trips, camping and fishing. Hunting too. Escaping to places where people hadn't cared about how they looked when so many places in the world had.
He didn't know how long he'd known that she was the only one for him. She'd taught him English, to read and write. She'd never treated him like he was stupid even when he struggled. She'd just set those hands on his and guided him through the process of learning something new.
And he didn't know when she realized it, when she reciprocated. All he knew was that time didn't really matter, he just wanted as much of it as he could have to spend with her.
"Rusty?"
He startled, and Kitty was looking at him.
"How long have you been standing there?"
"A while." He admitted, taking another sip of his beer.
"And why didn't you think to come out and sit with me?" She's teasing him as she puts her sewing away into her basket, and then stands up, motioning for him to come out. Rusty follows her to the porch swing, and she unfolds a quilt he's familiar with as he sits down next to her.
The border is a series of camellia blossoms and flower dogwood, their state flowers, with a vining pattern around them. And in the center stands a redheaded man holding the hands of a black woman in a yellow dress.
Rusty helps her spread out the quilt over the both of them, and then puts an arm over her shoulder. Kitty leans her head into him.
"There." She hums. "Much better to watch a sunset like this, don't you think?"
Rusty has hardly even noticed the sunset, but he glances out at it as he pulls her closer.
"Can't agree with ya more, Kitty-cat."
And as Rusty admires the sunset, Kitty watches how the orange hues of the light nearly set his hair ablaze with color. How it brings out the freckles that aren't hidden under his beard. How it makes him glow.
She leans in closer, enjoying the moment with him.
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Transtalia Week 2020 Day 4
Day 4: Not being accepted
@the-transtalia-blog Wow, so this got a little depressing. And very long. So, uh, enjoy me projecting onto David and beating them with the angst baton.
Tennessee = David (Nonbinary person, they/them)
Kentucky = Henry (Cis man)
North Carolina = Nolan (Cis man)
South Carolina = Nora (Cis woman)
Missouri = Miles (gnc Cis man) (only mentioned)
Virginia = (I don’t actually remember their name, sorry Sybil)(Nonbinary) @hws-germania‘s oc (only briefly mentioned)
TW: Transphobia, including misgendering, deadnaming, invalidation, etc.
Day 4: Not Being Accepted
“So… I was thinking about changing my name.”
Henry looked up from where he had been pulling up bits of grass to braid together and blinked.
“Oh? Do you not like Fiona anymore?”
“I just… It doesn’t feel right. That doesn’t feel like my name.”
“… Ok. What were you thinking of changing it to?” Henry sat the length of braided grass in his lap and leaned back against the tree, waiting for an answer. His red-haired friend had tucked her knees under her chin, hugging them. She had been watching him, seemingly gauging his reaction, but now she looked down and pressed her forehead to her knees.
“Well, I was thinking… I kind of like David.”
Oh? Oh…. Nodding, Henry sat up again. That was really not what he’d expected. “Do, um… Do you want to change anything else?”
Fi- David peeked up from over… his? His arms. Tears had started to gather at the edges, and Henry did not like that at all. He shifted away from the tree, crawling over to David to sit next to his friend. Hesitantly, he reached out a hand and rested it on David’s shoulder.
“It’s ok if you do. I like David, too. I like you… even though you definitely cheated on the race over here.”
That got a giggle out of David, and he raised his head and wiped his eyes. “Thanks, Henry. And I did not cheat, I’m just a better rider than you!” David poked Henry in the ribs with a grin. “But, um, yeah… I think there are some other things I wanna change.”
Henry nodded. “Ok. I’ll help, if you want.”
David smiled, and Henry felt warmth come with the grin. He was sincere; he and David had been the best of friends since they were children, and they had always understood that if one of them needed something, the other would do whatever was needed to help. That wasn’t going to change just because he and David might, even if David’s changes might be… bigger than expected.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
David stood in the parlor and he (that really didn’t feel quite right, but neither did “she,” so…) could feel the eyes directed at him. He was so glad that his siblings weren’t visiting today, so they could have this talk with just the three of them.
Well, four, counting Henry, but he had tucked himself away in the corner as emotional support and was adamantly trying to avoid drawing too much attention to himself. David would have almost found it funny, if they weren’t so nervous; they had learned a long time ago that the Carolinas were not fond of their- his choice of friends.
Hmm… that wasn’t so bad. Can I call myself that, though? I’m just one per-
“What do you want to talk about, Fiona?”
David was shaken from their thoughts. They blinked over at Nora, who was sitting next to her brother and staring at David unblinking. Ever since they were little, David thought that look was creepy. Of course, Nora didn’t mean anything by it, she was just an intense person and when she gave her attention to something, she gave all of her attention to it.
Which was really unpleasant for David right now.
They shifted their weight to their other foot and took a deep breath, before speaking, “Well, first off, I wanna talk about changing my name. I don’t wanna be called Fiona anymore.”
Both Carolinas nodded, and Nolan commented, “Alright. It’s not uncommon for a personification to change his or her name, especially since we live so long. Times change, and things go in and out of fashion.”
“What would you like to change your name to?”
David glanced over to Henry, who was standing in the corner by the door. Henry nodded, and David grasped onto the reassurance that he offered.
“I, uh, I want to be called- I want to be called David, please.”
Both twins blinked. Neither spoke for what felt like hours, but David knew was probably seconds. Then Nolan cleared his throat and said, “David? Well, that is a very good name, but… I’m not sure it’s the best choice.”
Nora added, “Yes. We realize you must be looking for a change, Fiona, but perhaps you should consider a less… drastic change, hm? If you’re looking for a name that is less feminine, Logan is a lovely name for men and women.”
“It is. Are you trying to display your boyish tendencies? We know you were irritated with Madam Willingham for scolding you as a tomboy. She really should… Well, she should mind her own business, if you ask me, but Logan is a fine name for a lady who is not afraid of a little dirt and sweat. Or Riley.”
In spite of how they had prepared for this reaction, David felt themself (themselves? No, that’s not right, there’s only one of me…) deflate a little. In contrast, they could sense Henry bristling behind them. Henry normally was very calm, and it really to some doing to get him riled up, but god, the twins sure were good at it.
I should really say something before he do-
“I really don’t think that is what David meant.”
Nora and Nolan pivoted toward Henry, and David, despite the twisting in their gut, sighed at the thought of having to drag Henry out of another shouting match with their siblings.
“Really? Well, please, what do you think she means?”
Henry opened his mouth for a retort, then closed it again. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before responding, “That’s not my place. They can tell you.”
David held his breath at the wording. Nora frowned and Nolan quirked a brow, but neither addressed how Henry had referred to David, so David let out their breath and decided to move on quickly. They wanted this to be over with.
“I, er, well, Henry is right,” they stumbled. “I’m not trying to let people know I’m a tomgirl, or boy or whatever. I… I’m not a tomboy or a tomgirl. I…,” David sighed, and continued, “I don’t want to be called Fiona, and I don’t want to be called a girl anymore. That’s not what I am.”
Again, there was silence, but this time, the twins were much more obviously thrown. David waited for what they would say and prepared for the worst.
“Fi… David,” Nora said. “If you do not want to… be seen as a girl anymore, or if you think you would prefer to act and dress as a man, then… well, Nolan, I think we can work with that.”
“Yes… yes, we’ll go to the tailor tomorrow and see about having some new clothes put together. Just a few outfits, in case you reconsider this, ah… decision.”
“No.” David wasn’t quite aware of speaking.
Nolan hesitated. “No?”
“No. I mean, yes, I would appreciate new clothes, but I don’t want to be seen as a man. I don’t think I am a man. I don’t feel like a man.”
Nora shared a look with her brother before fixing David with a firm look. “We’re not really sure what you mean, then, dear. Are you going to act as a man or a woman, Tennessee?”
A cold feeling gathered in their stomach.
David swallowed.
“Neither. Or both? I am neither. But…” they trailed off at the looks they were receiving from both siblings. Nora always looked unimpressed, even when she was entertained, sometimes. She discovered early on how to garner respect among her peers as a young woman involved in the politics and finance of her state. But even Nolan, who was not particularly warm but was still less severe than his sister, was fixing David with a withering stare.
“Don’t be silly, Fiona. You are not a plant, or a chair, or a rock. You are a young lady, and if, for the moment, you fancy trying your hand at a man’s life, then feel free; we will help, within reason. But do not start running around with some fanciful ideas of… whatever it is you’re thinking.”
“Yes! Why, if-,”
“Do you want to leave, David?”
David almost jumped at the hand on their shoulder. Henry stood next to them, looking directly at them and ignoring Nora and Nolan’s spiel. David just stared at Henry for a full thirty seconds. They hadn’t realized that was an option.
Nora and Nolan were equally dumbfounded by Henry’s interruption. They stared at the pair standing by the door, somewhat shocked at being cut off and very irritated at Henry’s audacity to suggest walking out in the moment.
“Excuse me, but I thi-,”
“I think that you should kiss my ass, but looks like none of us are getting what we wanted, huh? I wasn’t talking to you.” Henry turned back to David and waited for an answer.
David couldn’t walk out in the middle of this. It was rude, and the problem would still be here later. All that walking away would do was postpone the unpleasant.
But David nodded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They didn’t notice they were crying until Henry wiped their face. They were already in Tennessee and had stopped to rest and decide where they were going to go. Henry was sitting next to them by the road and put his arm around their shoulders.
“Um, I really… I’m not gonna say everything is ok, because it isn’t. That, what they said and did, that shouldn’t have happened.” He paused and rubbed his face. David had left with Henry, and before they did, the Carolinas had made it very clear that until David had made up his mind and started “thinking clearly,” neither David nor Henry was welcome in that house. They had also threatened to write to Virginia about how terrible of an influence Henry had been by encouraging their sister to run off and confuse her about her gender and such, but Henry assured David there was little to worry about on that end.
“But, y’know, everything doesn’t have to be ok. Hey, look at me, please?”
David looked up at him and placed a hand on the one Henry had yet to take from their face.
“You’re ok. Ok? And I’m ok. And we’re ok, and that’s what matters right now.”
“Wow,” David laughed, “how very humble of you to add your whole self into that.”
“Well, I mean, if you wanna trot off alone, that’s cool. I’m just stating facts, my friend; I’m doing fine, you’re doing fine, or you will be, and that’s the important part.” Henry grinned. “Besides, are you really gonna tell me I’m not fine? Because let’s face it, I’m pretty fine.”
David rolled his eyes. “I think you’ve spent too much time with Miles.”
Shrugging, Henry stood up and helped David to their feet. He thought for a moment, then suggested, “We could head to his place, speaking of. Him and his older brother will probably be much more welcoming about this than those two d- *ahem* than the twins. Or we could just hang out here, or go to Kentucky, or Virginia, or… I don’t know. It’s your crisis, you choose.”
“Well,” David mused, “I’d rather avoid anywhere the twins will be willing to march into to scold me more, so Miles is probably the only option left at that point. They like him even less than they like you. Speaking of, thank you for not getting into it with them. I’m glad we just left, instead.”
“Hey, if being polite to them will make you happy, then…,” Henry made a pained face and swallowed, “then I will bite my tongue and not tell them where they can stick their fancy fucking teacups.”
Laughing, David shook his head. “Thank you, dear. Alright then, let’s be off.”
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