#humor-quote

[thepersonalwords]

An angry wife can be more frightening than an army of disgruntled soldiers.

Matshona Dhliwayo

[catchymemes]

[daily-spooky]

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[galaxymagitech]

Bruce: Congratulations, Jason! You’re the first of my kids to graduate college!

Dick: Yeah, first and only one for all eternity!

Bruce: *Ignoring Dick by sheer willpower* Anyway, what are you planning to do next?

Jason: I think I’m going to continue my education in English Lit.

Bruce: *nervously* Great. You’ll get a Master’s Degree, right?

Jason: …

Bruce: …right?

Jason: Actually, I’m going for a PhD.

Bruce: This is a terrible joke. You’re over the supervillainy, right, Jay?

Jason: Look, my application to GothamU’s PhD program was accepted!

Bruce: No child! Of mine! Will get! A PhD!!!

Jason: I’m hoping to be a literature professor at GothamU, if I survive long enough.

Bruce: *screams incoherently*

Dick: I think you broke him.

[mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware]

[a--z--u--l]

Tumblr es una mezcla entre un psiquiátrico, un prostíbulo y un diario. A cuál pertenecen?

[n-u-b-e-s-n-e-g-r-a-s]

[daily--cats]

[catchymemes]

[daily-spooky]

[ur-daily-inspiration]

The inspiration

The result

[oautincorrectquotes]

Belle: I can't believe you assassinated the King!

Rumple: Well, 'assassinated' implies it was politically motivated. I killed him because he was a dick, so technically I murdered him

Belle: That's not better!

[galaxymagitech]

Jason: Hey, Alfie! Which of us was the least crazy as a kid?

Bruce: Let’s face it. None of us were easy children. I dropped out of college and then dropped off the grid. Dick was a menace—

Jason: Nah, Dick’s the Golden Boy.

Bruce: He wanted to single-handedly hunt down a powerful criminal and thought the entire manor was a trapeze.

Dick: Well, Jason was like the perfect kid.

Bruce: He ran away, died, and started murdering people.

Jason: Fair. But the Replacement’s your perfect little soldier, isn’t he?

Bruce: He stalked me, he says incredibly concerning things with no idea how concerning he sounds, he started YOUNG JUSTICE, I—

Damian: Batgirl III is boring. Surely she was easy to deal with?

Bruce: Are you kidding me? She got pregnant and started a gang war!

Steph: Guilty as charged. But Duke’s the normal one, so—

Bruce: You started a gang war? Duke started a gang!

Damian: I’m the perfect heir.

Bruce: You’re an assassin who is currently attempting to turn my house into a zoo. And you keep trying to murder Tim.

Jason: Eh, we’ve all been there. Except Cass. Cass hasn’t tried to murder anyone.

Bruce: Cass tried to fight Lady Shiva to the death, despite refusing to kill. Cass is not well-adjusted either.

Cass: Barbara is good.

Bruce: No, she keeps hacking the Batcomputer. And she’s dating my son. Honestly I have no idea how I’m still sane.

Alfred: I’m afraid your sanity is very much in question, Master Bruce.

[chaosandmarigolds]

Simon, wasted: sometimes I feel like if I become emotionally vulnerable with the people I love they’ll leave me because they realize I’m not the person they thought I was

Reader, equally wasted: I think…I think if you were emotionally vulnerable I would marry you

Simon:

readers:

Simon: so when I was ten-

[inside-my-gay-mind]