#humans are dicks

[mantareidraws]

Giving battinson the big birb hug he so desperately needs 🫂

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

[panakina]

I refuse to believe that Bruce Wayne, a man in his fifties who took up martial arts in his twenties, who has had at least one serious spinal injury and countless other injuries, is in anyway comparable to the adult robins, who have been training and conditioning since their early teens if not earlier and are all in their prime.

[batsyheere]

"So, handling your archnemesis," Danny starts. The room falls quiet, heads slowly turning to look at the man as he writes the words on the chalkboard. When finished, the characters somehow both messy and neat at once, Danny places the chalk back down and claps his hands.

"I typically call them fruitloops. Often they're in a better position than you are- older, richer, more powerful. They may have some sort of status that protects them when facing the public."

Tim wondered where Dick was right now, and if he was laughing. His brain was lagging like a computer as he tried to process what Danny was saying, and how seriously a few of his fellow teen vigilantes were taking this.

"Some of their more common tactics are-" the chalk was picked back up, and Danny writes as he speaks.

"Manipulation, isolation, conditioning, and empathy."

MICE.

Tim stares at the board, and quietly slips put his phone.

-What have I done to deserve this.

Enjoy your lessons Tim-

His head thumps against the desk. Conner leans over, gives him a pat on the shoulder but returns to taking notes as Danny goes on to explain the conditioning tactic.

[himulrai]

with this the spike trilogy comes to a close

previous here!

I have really bad art block atm my posts are gonna be even MORE rushed and staggered than usual I'm so sorry😕

[galaxymagitech]

Tim: Oops, sorry, I forgot to be a human being. Dick: I...don't think that's something you can forget. Tim: Hypocrite. Dick: I didn't forget, I just decided that physical and mental limitations actually don't exist for me. Tim: Right, sorry. I forgot to pretend to be a human being.

[frownyalfred]

“Sorry, no super powers for your collar to turn off!” Dick says, before proceeding to do a move that is beyond 99% of all humans on earth

[flamingpudding]

*hisssss* My comfort human!

Nightwing stared, he turned his head staring at Zatanna in a way that clearly spelled the question: Are you seeing what I am seeing?

Zatanna only gave him a shrug with a smile before focusing back on the meeting, leaving Nightwing to turn back and stare. He wasn't the only hero in the room with that reaction. There were a couple others too that reacted similarly. Only Batman appeared to be able to hold his pokerface.

Right before them was Constantine trying to explain to them all how their goverment basically fucked them over, while a 'ghost' teen was clinging to the man's shoulders glaring and hissing at them all. Worst of all Constantine was acting like the kid wasn't even there. Like there was no a white haired, black and white dressed teen hugging the man around his shoulders while glaring at them with glowing Lazarus green eyes.

"Uhm John? What's with the kid?" Green Lantern finally asked interrupting another one of the magicans rants about how screwed they were to which the Brite only glared at the hero.

"Ignore him."

"But..."

"IGNORE him."

"Maybe we should remove the child from this meeting before we continue?" Superman offered good naturally and Constantine looked pretty much done with them all, Nightwing noted. The blond waved with his hand as if telling them to 'go on try it'.

The heroes exchanged glances. Before Superman moved forward reaching out to remove the teen....

...and promptly got bitten. Nightwings eyes widened as he noticed the teen actually broke kryptonian skin!

The teen then proceeded to hiss at them while clutching onto Constantine protectively. The magican only let out a suffering sigh and muttered something about never touching a core again.

"My comfort human! Get your own!"

[ozzgin]

I have no clue where the ice cream stuff came from, but I guess to each their own? I mean frozen treats have a wide variety and various versions that can be tasty. There is this frozen mango treat with chili powder that is meant to be a mix of sweet and spicy, there is that one thing where people put maple syup on freshly fallen snow and roll it on a stick to eat it, there are those who freeze their candy/candy bars cause cold taste better.

To sum it up, people like to have frozen stuff in their mouths.

And now my dirty mind has lead me to think about some type of snow monster with an ice dick to suck. Treat it like a snow cone and put flavored syrup on it. (Very sorry for this lol)

[emacrow]

The Wayne's garden was magic.

Damian didn't understand the bats meant as he roam around, alfred's prized fruits, vegetables and flowers lay neatly around.

The Wayne's garden was huge in size as he found a total of 37 hidden weapons locations so far and was still counting.

It was a pass time game to him to see what father added, only for Damian to see a little glow flicker between a hedge near what seemed to an old abandoned broken down well.

That certainly looks like a secret entrance to the batman cave, not far from here, and if not, he has his grappling hook with him.

Damian looked down the well. It was dark and deep down below, not a speck o- but there.

A two flicker of glowing blue light flash very down below before vanishing. He didn't think a second later as he leap down into the well.

The bricks of the well wall seemed to go on for a minute as he fell, only for his falling feeling lighter and lighter as he went down.

A gun blaster lodges in the dirt, and Damian fell on a dust covered star theme bed that bends over but never falls with him. A tea cup full of glowing much greener lararus pits floated around as the walls became from dirt like to frozen ice with a star embedded in them.

Damian held up his grappling hook to shoot upwardsit to malfunction was when he panicked.

only for him to land on top of something soft and fluffy, bounced a few times, but cold as ice, a gigantic room that was covered floor up to the ceiling in frosted ice with odd languages, thousands, and thousands of doors with variety of sizes and shape, two massive baby sized crib with two bundles wrapped in white fluff fur Damian was sitting on.

The Wayne's garden was magic that went across damian's mind only for he noticed what he was laying on was still moving slowly.

Damian glances downwards to notice he is sitting on a giant white fluff of a much more gargantuan person.

Hair white as snow with icicles and frosty snowflakes, a floating massive crown covered in snow and stars insides, skin paler than white paint, a icy breath leak out, sprinkling shining snow and stardust as they lay in a frozen bed the size of Wayne's manor itself.

It was cold, icy cold even with Damian's training in the League of Assassins couldn't withstand this. His consciousness fading with each cold breath he took before the last sight was the large bright, shining, pale greenish blue eyes opening to see him before darkness took him alongside the blinding green.

...

..

.

Damian would only wake up to his frantic father, lightly shaking him awake as he lay in the garden between the hedges. The day was still out, except for one thing that was missing was the old broken down well.

Tiny patch of frosty blue flowers instead was there in its place.

[that-satireguy]

Oh my fucking days. I did not think I would have to spell this out for you morons.

TRANS PEOPLE ARE NOT REQUIRED TO STAY IN COUNTRIES THEY ARE UNSAFE IN 'TO BE ACTIVISTS'.

TRANS PEOPLE ARE NOT REQUIRED TO STAY IN COUNTRIES THEY ARE UNSAFE IN 'TO BE ACTIVISTS'.

It is NOT MY JOB to sacrifice myself and MY FUTURE to change shit in this country.

I WANT TO GET

OUT

[syrupbitee]

free my boy from his own show he did nothing wrong

[violent138]

Every time Jason comes to Dick's place instead of using the window or breaking in unseen like a normal member of their kind, he takes the stairs or elevators and chats up Dick's neighbours. And it makes Dick go crazy because Jason will tell them the most unhinged, false nonsense about their lives and his neighbours will rag on their father or sympathetically pat Dick's arm and Dick gets progressively more and more rattled by the unravelling of his comfortable, well constructed persona.

[potatounicoorn]

Dick Grayson - Ruining non-human heroes perspective of humans since 1964

[garpen]

I love Gothamites thinking that the batfamily are Cryptids when they're not.

I also love the idea that to begin with, Gothamites know Robin has been a bunch of different human kids that the: Definitely a Cryptid Batman™ (bc let's be honest that thing is not human) has taken under his wing.

I think it makes the Robins scarier to them. Like "There's something fucked up enough about this kid that the Demon Bat took them in." And they're all pretty sure that every time there's a switch in Robin's it's bc the Cryptid Demon Batman thing probably killed them off or something.

They always try and warn off whatever new Robin he's taken in, but whenever they do the New Robin always laughs them off or attempts to assure them that they're fine and not worry.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 274

You know what is fun? Baby Ghost Jason. You know what could be even more fun? Ghosts are Dragons. 

Jason? Aware of none of this. 

He was on comms, y’know listening and rolling his eyes at Dickwing, who used his real name, really Dick, he mocks. It’s just a stakeout, nothing new there, honestly boring when he could be blowing something up instead. It should have just been a stakeout. 

Yet there’s something suddenly there, something behind him. Something that causes his hair to stand on end and his comms to spark into static like some sort of horror movie. Something, something with clawed hands with corpse-pale skin tipped in black, stained or dead or something else, tilting his head up and up and up as he’s frozen. 

“A child, out here? Alone?” a voice crackles, hisses, hums, and purrs, somehow all at once, unnatural in its tone. He can’t move, he needs to move, he has to move, but it’s like the space around him has gone cold and dead, like he’s stuck in the Pits once more as claws hold his head and his vision blurs. “Sleep, child. Rest- we’ll be home soon.”