#how to lose weight at 40 years old

[mclacedes]

Let Them See (LH44)

a/n: writing angst wasn't helping my depressed ass at all so here's a smutty thought :)

summary: in which lewis has a controversially young girlfriend, who he suddenly isn't afraid of showing around

warnings: suggestive content, dirty talk, age gap, kind of sick, friends-to-lovers, secret relationship

WC: 1.9k

Everyone knew your relationship with Lewis was byword impulsive and complicated—not because you wanted it to be, but because of the circumstances you were in.

The 16-year age gap between you and Lewis didn’t sit well with everyone, making discretion your only option. You hid away together, sneaking around like teenagers, leaning on each other in any four-walled space. You lost count of how many times you and Lewis went to the rented villa on Lake Como, being able to take bites off each other everywhere possible.

You’d lost track of how many times you’d escaped to the rented villa on Lake Como, stealing moments to lose yourselves in each other.

And you liked it that way. The secrecy, the privacy—you’d been the one to insist on it.

You first met Lewis when you were 22, and he was 38. It was 2023, and your connection had been instant. You became best friends, growing closer with each passing day. On your 23rd birthday, he’d gifted you 23 of your favorite books, each one holding a handwritten note.

Now, at 24, with him at 40, the age gap felt striking, unavoidable. Yet, there was something about it that thrilled you, made your pulse race, your mind whirl, and your body ache with a want you couldn’t quite explain.

Now, it was all speculation for the fans and entertainment for the other drivers, who relished watching you and Lewis attempt to keep your composure in front of the cameras. Every stolen glance and lingering touch fed the rumors, the intrigue, the tension.

But tonight, none of that mattered. Tonight, you couldn’t care less about the cameras or what anyone thought.

It was December 7th, 2025—the night of the final race of the season. The night Lewis cemented his legacy, securing his eighth world championship and becoming the most decorated driver in Formula 1 history. The long-awaited eighth had finally arrived, and the weight of it, the joy of it, was almost too much to contain.

Everyone was at the afterparty—everyone except Charles, who had been Lewis’s fiercest competitor throughout the season. They’d gone head-to-head in countless races, but Charles ultimately finished third in the championship, with Lando getting closer and closer to the so-dreamed-of championship.

But in the end, only one person could take it home. And there happens to be only one GOAT. It had been Lewis’ from the very start.

The room was filled with those who weren’t envious but proud, celebrating his historic achievement. It was a night of laughter, toasts, and admiration for the man who had just become an eight-time world champion.

Lewis sat on a couch in the VIP section of the Abu Dhabi club, slowly breathing in the air of victory and sipping on the glass of champagne in his hand, its price not even a thought in his mind.

The air of victory didn’t reek of the podium’s champagne or the faint musk of the club, though. It smelled just like your Dior perfume, your vanilla soap and your vanilla shampoo.

Victory looked like the pretty girl sat on his thigh, bobbing her head to the sound of the all-too-loud music, sipping off her own glass of golden bubbly beverage.

“I think I’m getting too old for this,” he murmured, his warm breath brushing against your ear, his lips so close you could feel every word.

You chuckled, throwing your head back in that carefree way that always made him smile—it was one of the little things he thought was the cutest about you.

“Wanna leave already, Sir? We’re barely started partying,” you teased, tilting your head to meet his gaze.

He leaned closer, his voice dropping an octave, his words vibrating against your chest. “I’ve got far more interesting things waiting at home, Y/N. And trust me, we can party all night there too.”

The weight of his tone sends a shiver down your spine, warmth blooming low in your belly as the meaning behind his words settled in, making your pulse quicken.

Suddenly, you are too aware of how short your dress is and how his hand palms your thigh. You swallow hard, the music and chatter of the club fading into the background. His dark eyes are locked on yours, and the teasing curve of his lips only deepen your anticipation.

“Is that so?” you managed, your voice barely above a whisper, though you knew he could hear the challenge laced in your tone.

Lewis’s fingers traced idle circles on your thigh, his touch light yet deliberate. “You know it is,” he said, his grin growing darker, more possessive. “I’d even dare say… you like that idea, don’t you?”

“Outrageous!” you replied, flashing a mischievous smile, your teeth catching your bottom lip in a playful bite.

The warmth pooling in your belly grew as his hand slid up a fraction more, reaching the hem of your dress. His fingers toyed with the sequins, sending tiny sparks of sensation through your skin.

“Lewis…” you murmured, your tone caught between playful and cautious, though your smile faltered under his gaze. “We’re in public.”

His laughter rumbled low and deep, a sound that sent a shiver straight through you. “Then you’d better behave, sweetheart,” he said, his voice dangerously soft. His eyes never left yours, and his grin turned wicked as he added, “Because if you keep looking at me like that…” He let the words linger, charged and heavy with intent. “I might just have to take you right here.”

Your breath hitched, a mix of anticipation and adrenaline coursing through you as his words sank in. His hand lingered at the hem of your dress, just enough to tease, to test your resolve.

“Bold of you to assume I’d let you,” you shot back, though your voice wavered slightly, betraying your feigned confidence.

Lewis’s smirk deepened, his gaze never breaking from yours. “Oh, love,” he murmured, his voice like silk wrapping around you, “you’d not only let, you’d beg me to do so.”

Heat flushed through you, and you struggled to keep your composure under his piercing gaze. The music around you seemed to blur into white noise, the club melting away until it felt like it was just the two of you, locked in a silent battle of wills.

“Right… Then what if I told you I would absolutely love you to take me right here?” you said, batting your eyelashes as you looked into his soul through his eyes.

Lewis could feel his pants getting too tight around his crotch as you kept looking at him.

Lewis’s smirk grew even darker, the intensity in his gaze sending a shiver down your spine. “Shit, love…” he murmured, his voice dipping lower, rich and velvety, making a mess on your panties. “I have to remind you just how dangerous it is to play games you can’t win.”

The heat between you was palpable, a private flame burning brighter with every second. The noise of the club, the thrumming bass, the distant laughter—they all faded into oblivion. It was just him, just you, and the tension crackling like electricity in the air.

“Well, I’m not afraid of losing,” you whispered, leaning closer, your lips curling into a teasing smile. “Maybe I want to see just how far you’d go, Lewis.”

His grip on your thigh tightened, and his dark eyes dropped briefly to your lips, before returning to yours with an intensity that made your breath catch. He was holding on by a thread, and you could tell he was teetering between self-control and giving in.

“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” he said, his tone a warning laced with hunger.

You tilted your head, your confidence unwavering as you batted your lashes again. “Oh, except I do,” you replied softly, your voice dripping with challenge.

Lewis shifted in his seat, the tightness in his pants making his restraint all the more difficult. His jaw clenched briefly, his free hand resting on the back of your neck, his thumb grazing your skin in a way that sent a jolt through you.

“You’re going to regret saying that,” he said, his lips brushing against your ear, his words a promise and a threat all at once.

But regret was the last thing on your mind. You leaned in, your breath warm against his cheek as you whispered, “Prove it.”

The heat between you was undeniable now, a private storm building despite the crowd around you. The world didn’t matter—the cameras, the whispers, the flashing lights. It was just him, just you, and the pull that neither of you could resist.

And as his lips brushed the shell of your ear again, he whispered, “Let’s get out of here.”

He gently nudged you off his lap, rising to his feet. Taking your hand in his, he led you toward the exit. But just as you reached the door, a sudden burst of cheers echoed from the VIP bar.

Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Carlos Sainz, and Alex Albon were all staring at you two, grinning like they’d just caught wind of the hottest gossip in the room.

You smile, your cheeks flushing slightly, and bury your face in Lewis’ chest, hiding your laughter. He chuckles softly, his arms tightening around you for a moment before you pull back. As you step away, you look up to find him casually flipping off his co-workers with a playful grin.

A mischievous spark ignites within you, and without missing a beat, you mirror his action, flipping them off with a smirk of your own.

Lewis catches your move, a wicked grin spreading across his face as he watches you mirror him. His eyes gleam with approval, his playful side clearly taking over.

“That’s my baby,” he says, his voice low and teasing as he steps closer, his arm brushing against your shoulders, wrapping around your neck possessively.

The group of drivers, now aware of your shared gesture, laughs and shakes their heads, but their amusement only fuels your defiance. The tension between you and Lewis grows electric even when you two stop flipping the guys off, the playful challenge still lingering in the air.

You’re suddenly hyper-aware of the flashing lights, the cameras capturing every second of your interaction. The bright flashes momentarily blind you, but it's the weight of their gaze on both of you that makes your pulse race. It’s as if the entire world is watching, amplifying everything—the chemistry, the defiance, the thrill of the moment.

“Lewis…” you murmur, your voice low and laced with a mix of desire and curiosity.

Lewis doesn’t flinch at the attention, his smirk only deepening as he locks eyes with you. “Let them see. Let them gossip,” he murmurs, his thumb slowly tracing circles on your skin. “We’ve got this.”

Your heart pounds faster, the electricity between you undeniable. You hold his gaze, a playful yet daring smile curling on your lips.

“I’ve got you, baby,” he says, his voice a quiet promise, a declaration of everything you both are, everything you’ve been in that moment.

And as the flashes of the cameras continue, you both walk hand in hand toward the door, leaving the noise, the chaos, the spotlight behind. All that matters now is the intoxicating pull between you two, and the freedom of knowing that whatever the world says, you’ve got each other.

The night belongs to you. And that’s more than enough.

[joelmillermylove]

Where we belong Pt.1

Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Your older best friend Joel Miller finally confesses his love for you. Warning: just a bunch of fluff, age gap. Word count: 849. A/N: Hi babes! This is my first fanfic so go easy on me, Iv been working on this for weeks so I hope you like it and sorry in advance for any miss spellings and for the shortness! Much love 🤍

Part two →

It’s late at night in your living room. The only light comes from the flickering TV screen as an old, familiar movie plays. Joel in his late 40s and you in your mid 20s, you’ve been best friends for a few years now. You and Joel are sitting close on the couch, surrounded by the warmth and comfort of years of friendship. The remnants of popcorn and empty glasses are scattered on the coffee table. The room is quiet except for the movie’s dialogue, but there’s a palpable tension building between you.

As the movie plays, you feel Joel shift beside you. His arm, which had been resting casually along the back of the couch, slowly lowers until it’s draped around your shoulders. It’s a small, almost unconscious movement, but it makes your heart race. You can smell his Cologne, notes of citrus, leather and woodsy musk; it’s intoxicating. You lean into him, your head finding a comfortable spot against his chest. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat is soothing, but it also makes you more aware of how close you are to him.

Neither of you says anything for a while, both pretending to focus on the movie, but your thoughts are elsewhere—on the warmth of his body, the way his hand gently rubs your arm, and the unspoken connection that’s always been there. The movie reaches a particularly tender scene, you feel Joel’s hand still on your arm. You look up at him, and he’s already gazing down at you, his expression soft but serious.

“Joel?” you whisper, your voice barely audible.

He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he lifts his other hand, hesitantly brushing a strand of hair away from your face. The touch is gentle, almost reverent, and it sends a shiver down your spine. “I’ve been thinking,” he says quietly, his voice deep and rough, yet filled with something you can’t quite place. “About us.”

You blink, caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone. “What do you mean?”

Joel takes a deep breath, as if gathering his courage. “We’ve known each other for so long. You’re… you’re my best friend. But lately, I’ve been feeling things I can’t ignore anymore. Things I’ve tried to push aside because I didn’t want to mess up what we have.”

Your heart pounds as he pauses, his eyes searching yours for any sign of what you might be feeling. “The truth is… I’ve always cared about you, more than just as a friend. And I’ve tried to keep it to myself, but it’s gettin’ harder and harder, especially when we’re like this.”

His hand cups your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin in a way that makes your breath catch. “I love you,” he finally says, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time, and I just… I needed you to know.” The world seems to stop as his words sink in. He’s watching you closely, as if bracing himself for your reaction, his own emotions laid bare.

For a moment, all you can do is stare at him, his words echoing in your mind. You see the vulnerability in his eyes, a side of Joel he doesn’t often show. Your heart swells, and suddenly everything makes sense—the lingering touches, the way he always looked out for you, the moments when it felt like there was something more between you, You were in love with him.

“I… I love you too, Joel,” you finally say, your voice trembling with the weight of your own emotions. “I didn’t want to admit it because I was scared of losing you, of ruining what we have. But I’ve been in love with you for so long.”

Relief floods Joel’s face as he exhales, like he’s been holding his breath this entire time. “You don’t know how much I’ve wanted to hear that,” he murmurs, his thumb tracing your cheek.

Before you can say anything more, Joel leans in, hesitating for just a fraction of a second as if giving you the chance to pull away. But you don’t. You close the distance between you, your lips meeting his in a soft, tentative kiss. It’s gentle at first, both of you savoring the moment, the feeling of finally crossing that line you’ve danced around for so long.

The kiss deepens as Joel pulls you closer, his hand sliding from your cheek to the back of your neck, holding you as if he’s afraid to let go. There’s a sense of rightness, of everything falling into place, and you realize that this is where you were always meant to be—with him.

When you finally pull back, both of you are breathless, but there’s a new lightness in the air, the unspoken tension finally gone. Joel rests his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your lips. “I don’t ever want to lose you,” he says softly.

“You won’t,” you promise, smiling through the tears that have started to form. “We’ll figure this out, together.”

Joel nods, his hand still gently holding the back of your neck. “Together,” he agrees, sealing the promise with another kiss, one filled with all the love and devotion you’ve both kept hidden for so long.

As the night goes on, the movie forgotten, you and Joel stay wrapped up in each other, talking about everything and nothing, exploring this new dynamic between you. It feels natural, like the most obvious next step in your relationship, and you know that no matter what challenges lie ahead, you’ll face them side by side.

[growingstories]

Office politics

Fresh out of college, Nathan had put on the dreaded "freshman 15". Despite this, he was in decent shape, with a nice chest although his six-pack had disappeared. He began working at a finance company where the CEO, a fit 40-year-old, stood out among the rest of the management team, who were 30 something men with big bellies. The only woman in the office was Linda, the assistant to the CEO. Nathan met Henry, a handsome guy with a strong chest and a belly, who had started working at the company three months prior, they were both 23 years old.

Henry warned Nathan about Linda's influence in the company. He advised him to do whatever Linda asked in order to secure nice clients and tasks that would lead to bonuses. Nathan took this advice to heart and decided to play by Linda's rules.

One day, Linda brought a big cake to the office, announcing that the winner would be rewarded with a new client. The junior co-workers enthusiastically dug in, with one big guy eating four slices and emerging victorious. Nathan was on a diet to lose the freshman 15 so skipped the cake and watched how all the men devoured the cake in a matter of seconds. Little did Nathan know, the CEO noticed that he had skipped the cake entirely and mentioned it to Linda.

The following day, Linda gave Nathan the tedious task of filing old reports, a long and lonely assignment. To alleviate the boredom, Linda brought him six donuts. Nathan, unable to resist, ate one. Linda soon found out he only ate one and punished him by assigning him even more archive tasks.

Linda continued her pattern of bringing in large amounts of food every day, including pizzas, cakes, and other tempting snacks. The employees who ate the most received better tasks and clients along with bonuses. Nathan often tried to resist the fattening snacks, feeling determined to stay in shape. However, Linda would bring in other snacks as punishment for him. In an effort to burn off the excess calories, Nathan started running every morning.

As weeks went on, Nathan found himself 10 pounds heavier, while Henry had gained double that amount. Linda began handing out late-night tasks and arranging dinners for the employees who stayed late as a punishment for not joining her food challenges. Surprisingly, these employees were the fittest in the office. On the third night, Linda surprised them by bringing in bowls of ice cream, warning them not to let it melt. Fearing longer nights with work, they quickly consumed the ice cream-filled bowls. Linda then walked in and told them to go home, praising their good work.

After weeks of late nights and indulging in rich food, even the typically fit employees began to gain weight. Nathan and Henry found themselves in a constant struggle, their clothes becoming too tight and their workouts becoming a thing of the past. They had no choice but to complain to the CEO, who gave them budget for new clothes instead of stopping the overflow of overfeeding. Feeling defeated, they both decided to go all in for the bonuses and began participating in the various food challenges Linda organized. As they became more successful, the bigger guys in the office grew jealous and started to eat even more. Linda brought in more challenges and new tasks with bonuses, leading them to gain even more weight.

The big bonuses were accompanied by even bigger food challenges. Nathan and Henry found themselves struggling with their weight, experiencing heavy breathing with every movement. Instead walking or biking to the office they frequently took the subway or a taxi. Especially in Summer to avoid sweating. Their focus on work and food left little time or energy for dating, resulting in pent-up desires and frustration. They also found how ruthless the gayscene was, both experienced fatfobic remarks from their dates.

One morning the agreed that it was too much. In an attempt to shed some pounds, Nathan tried to start a diet and wanted to put on his running shoes. He could hardly bend over as his belly was in the way, he had to catch his breath after the first shoe and struggled with his second. He did make it outside in his tight clothes. After 10 minutes the intense exercise began to take a toll on his knees, and he found himself taking an uber home. The same afternoon he went to the Nike store to get new workout clothes. Surprised that he almost was 3 sizes up. Back in the office he started complaining about his new size and his failed running attempt, he told Henry that he would go the the gym the next morning and built on some muscle mass. Linda, always attentive, heard his complaints and brought him protein shakes to support him in his workouts, instructing him to have three a day. After a few days of going to the gym and skipping food challenges he was only getting bigger and found his new gym shirts also getting tighter. He was convinced that it was the laundry and that his muscles were growing. He started to feel more confident again.

Nathan continued with his dieting and his gym visits. Linda showed up with shakes and bars. Nathan found food wrappers from weight gain bars hidden away. While Nathan had become stronger, he realized he had also grown fatter. Meanwhile, Henry had taken up flirting at the office with growing Nathan seeking companionship beyond the office walls. He complemented Nathan on his new bulk. Nathan liked this and continued this pattern of gym and fattening bars.

Henry and Nathan found solace in each other and started dating. The had amazing sex and found a shared passion for nice restaurant and good food. The fact that both lost their once athletic looks didn’t bother them. They decided to abandon their diets altogether and began indulging in more food challenges, resulting in increased weight gain but also big bonuses they were sharing. Surprisingly, this made them Linda's favorites as they eagerly participated in these challenges, earning big bonuses. With their weight gain, they encountered more difficulties in their sexual encounters, struggling with positions and heavy breathing. Despite this, they continued to grow closer, engaging in intimate encounters both in and out of the office and agreed to stop seeing others.

Unbeknownst to the couple, the CEO started flirting with them individually. Confused, yet intrigued, Nathan and Henry decided to see where this newfound attention would lead. During a dinner invitation from the CEO, they were individually treated to a massive feast, where they ate to their heart's content and indulged in drinks until they could no longer move. By the end of the night, they agreed to explore a more intimate relationship together. The day following, they were rewarded with a big new and client a huge bonus. This pattern continued for the next few weeks, with their weight steadily increasing alongside their. earnings They continued their sexual encounters with the CEO both in and out of the office. They both were open about it to eachother and promised to share their money.

One fateful encounter, the CEO accidentally stumbled upon Nathan and Henry in the middle of their intimate moment. Rather than being angry or disappointed, the CEO invited them both to his home for another extravagant dinner. With each bite, they were stuffed beyond their limits, but their arousal only grew. That night, the three of them engaged in an intimate encounter, deepening their connection.

The following day, the CEO informed Nathan and Henry of their big promotion to the management team. They were given their own proteges to mentor and were assigned their own projects. The CEO revealed his secret to success: the bigger their employees became, the more bonuses they would receive. Inspired, Nathan and Henry continued to encourage their staff to indulge in the excessive food challenges, while they themselves continued their encounters with the CEO at his home. Their weight continued to skyrocket as they partook in more and more stuffing sessions.

[potentialguybodyswaps]

Cum Locked Into a Marine:

Are you in the military but feel like you joined the wrong branch? well there’s a way to swap branches, only catch, you have to swap bodies with someone in that branch and live their life, you can always swap back but only after both parties have finished their contract, so if you have 1 year left on yours, and you decided to swap with a fresh boot, you gotta finish the rest of their contract

Not many people wanna swap with a guy fresh out of boot camp but I did.

I’ve spent a year in the navy and didn’t like it one bit, when I joined I was hoping to join a brotherhood but the comrodery wasn’t there , when I was in A school, the base I was at for training was actually a joint base with the army, navy, Air Force and marines

Something that always upsetted me is when ever we’d see the marines, they were fine as fuck, for no reason, hands down the best looking fucking branch, no homo.

Even when I got to my ship and did a deployment with the marines onboard, they always looked hot and way fitter, if I would have join them instead of the navy, I’d definitely have abs but a lot of the navy struggles to stay within height and weight regulations

So I decided I wanted to swap with a marine, I made an account for the Body Exchange Program (or B.E.P. For short) and went to the subsection for military swaps and clicked on the marine branch to see what bodies were available

One thing I loved about the B.E.P. Is while the swaps are basically contracts and ment to last for the agreed time, they’re a couple ways to get out of that aswell… The B.E.P. Isn’t actually ment for long term swaps, so the only real way to do so is by breaking the TOS (terms of servicing). if both parties end up ejaculating while swaped, they end up locked in each others bodies

A lot of them had high standards in order to swap with them but I did find one Private named Matt Cummings. his profile says he’s only been out of boot camp for a week now and hates it, willing to swap with anyone from any branch as long as their not old.

I’ve only done 1 out of my 5 years so it didn’t bother me basically losing a year and having to restart a 5 year contract, especially if it ment I got to look hot as fuck and be a marine

Luckily I was only about 3 years older so I sent a request and after a little talking he agreed saying “I’d love to be in the navy and see more countries than just being deployed and stuck in 1”

Since we were in the same time zone this would actually be somewhat easy, we just set the time to swap to 3 A.M. when we’re both sleeping, and since we both actually had the next couple days off, it’d give us time to adapt and try to figure out our new lives

He asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this, promising it’s not like how I think it is. And I told him yes I’m sure…

Unfortunately he was one of the few profiles on here that didn’t have a profile pic so I was a bit worried about walking into this blind, but checking out the basic stats on his profile made me a bit more confident, 5’10 and 140. At the very minimum I might lose like 2 inches of height but atleast I lose about 40 pounds of weight also haha

I woke up the next day in a bed that didn’t belong to me and a dorm room that didn’t look familiar to me. Needing to piss I flung the blanket off me and saw that I was in nothing but my underwear, I rushed to the head (bathroom in military talk) and lowered them to piss and was kinda shocked, nothing too special about the dick, I mean about the same size as my actual body, but maybe a bit longer, ok, more than a little, I had to be atleast 3 and a half inches soft now, bro probably had like atleast 2 inches on me hard, I don’t know yet, so I’ll assume im about 6.5 or 7 inches hard maybe more now. What had me shocked tho was that I’m now uncircumcised! This is awesome man! I always wanted to be uncut. I just woke up and I’m glad this guy wanted to swap, definitely lucked out.

After I got done pissing and shooked my dick, I went to the sink to drink some water straight from the facet, after I got done drinking I stood up water dripping down my face onto my chest and onto my thin 6pack… if you could even call these abs, I’m not sure, maybe inbetween toned and abs status. Finally taking the chance to look in the mirror, I believe I lucked out, this guy seems to be one of the finer looking ones

While admiring my new self in the mirror I started to get hard and decided to check out the goods, pulling my underwear down my initial assessment seemed to be right, definitely bigger than my original body, so definitely atleast 7 inches. I decided to save playing with myself for later, hate to be a cliche and immediately go to touching myself after a swap, I’ll save it for later when I decide to act like a true marine and go get day drunk!

I tried finding some clean clothes but everything that wasn’t a uniform item was kinda just thrown onto the floor so I don’t know which piles are clean and which are not… I decided to take from the pile that smelled the lest like B.O. and get dressed

Once dressed I grabbed a backpack I saw laying around and left the onbase housing and found a store that happened to sell some IPA’s in there. I got a 6 pack and headed back to my room. on the way to the store and on the way back I was getting looks from everyone like I’m doing something I shouldn’t be, can’t be the alcohol can it? I mean no way, I tucked it into my bag. I mean, ya bro didn’t check the back of my CAT card to see my date of birth, so it’s technically underage drinking, but no one knows I have beer in my backpack nor does that explain the looks I was getting on the way to the store in the first place

I shrugged it off and just went back inside to my room. Once in I started drinking right away after I found some good shows to watch on this guys phone, I don’t know his password but the finger ID works, I’ll have to message him and ask him for the code later

It was taking me longer than usual to finish these due to not liking the taste anymore, and they were fucking me up more than usual making me a bit nauseous, I guess it makes since, this Matt guy has only been in for a week, probably didn’t have a taste for alcohol yet, not to mention different tastebuds in general, dam that sucks, this was one of my favorite brands too!

It took me almost 3 hours but I was finally on the last one, on a scale of like 1-10 I was probably a 6 on the drunk scale, trying not to throw up, which is ironic sense I use to black out and wake up never throwing up once throughout the night

When I get drunk I like to start cleaning or working out drunk, makes everything a bit more fun, I decided to do laundry, sense I can’t tell what’s clean and what’s not, I decided to just wash everything on the floor

Once I put everything in the washer I had a thought, technically I don’t know if the clothes I put on today were clean or not, and after spending some time in them today, technically they are dirty “fuck it” I said outloud and stripped completely naked tossing my clothes into the washer too before starting it

I went back and sat on the couch buck ass naked, it always felt weird walking around naked, so the fact that I’m doing it now in a slimmer body, balls swinging? Was kinda erotic, I started to get hard but the hornyness turned into fear when I herd a knock at the door

I remained still hoping they’d just go away, but then herd the sliding of the lock and the door open

“Aye Private FuckFace, I gotta talk to you. A sergeant and 2 corporals came in with him and closed the door behind them. For some reason I forgot that I was totally nude and thought it’d be a good idea to just start playin a movie again and pretend like I didn’t hear them

They walked around the corner into the living room to see me naked on the couch making them freeze and recalculate for a few seconds

I tried to not look up at them and continue watching my phone

“Well what do we have here” the sergeant said walking up to me

“Uh, uh, nothing much sergeant, just watchin a movie, you?”

“Me? What do I have? Let’s see, I’m given the task of coming to scald you for going out in public today and not shaving, what is this? Like my 3rd time telling you in the last week since you’ve been here that you have to shave EVERY DAY. And now I have YOU sitting on the couch, buck ass naked with beer cans on the table” he yelled knocking my partially full can over

“So that’s what we’re doing now? Underage drinking in base housing, not shaving. Sitting in the couch naked, legs open, not even trying to cover yourself, you know I told you if you kept fucking up I was gonna cum on your fucking face Private Cummings, I wasnt joking” he said unbuckling his belt

It didn’t register with me the first time, but it did the second, I’m so fucked up right now that I totally forgot that I was nude, fuck. Wait did he just say he was gonna fuck my face!?

I went to get up off the couch but he pushed me hard when I got half way up, sending me back on the couch.

“Now you know the rules to this, you can try to get out of this but I doubt you’ll be able too” he said nodding to the two corporals as he pulled his 5 inch hard dick out

I went to get up a second time but the corporals went behind the couch, each grabbing an arm and holding it back so I can’t go anywhere

“Suck” he said dick inches away from my mouth

“Fuck that” I screamed trying to spit on his dick as a sign of disrespect

Due to my slow reaction time the moment I tried to build up saliva and spit out on his dick, he just Jammed it in my mouth the second I opened it

I didn’t dare move, I’m not gonna fuck him up by hitting his dick but I’m not sucking it ether

I quit trying to fight to get up and just fell back into the couch more trying to get the dick to come back out my mouth

“Private FuckFace you are to suck my dick until I cum in your mouth, do you understand? That’s an order soldier” the sergeant said yelling at me

The moment he said “that’s an order” it’s like the combination of my boot camp instincts and this Cummings guy’s kicked in and I just quit resisting giving in and sucking his dick

Like a good soldier does, I gave it my all trying to do a good job and I suppose I did cause he yelled “I’m about to cum” I sped up a bit just so I can be done with this gay shit, the moment he started to blow his load in my mouth I quit sucking, but he wouldn’t pull out

I looked up to see my sergeant looking down on me, saying “you know the rules, now swallow, Private”

The moment I swallowed my sergeant nodded again and the corporals finally let go, they came back around the couch laughing

“Oh my god sergeant did he actually do it? Haha” one of them said laughing

“Yep, he swallowed it, which by Marine Social Code, means you, private fuck face, are officially my bitch now and have to do whatever I say whenever I say it” the sergeant said with a smile

“Bro what the fuck is wrong with y’all, fuck that I’m not nobodies bitch, you just mad a private has a bigger dick then you dude” I said standing up

“Private I told you, you know the rules, if anyone is able to take you by force and make you swallow their cum, your their bitch now, you could have gotten out of the hold we had you in, you just decided to say fuck your training, I feel like becoming a bitch all of a sudden right? Just accept it for what it is and do what I say like a good little bitch”

One of the corporals decided to tap the sergeant and ask him a question

“So uh, sense he’s your bitch now, do we get any sort of compensation for helping you? I mean he did put up a fight in the beginning and make us put some effort into holding him down, for someone that decided to become a bitch, he should have known he shouldn’t fight with his superiors” one of them said

The sergeant smiled and said “perhaps… Private go ahead and suck these two’s dicks aswell, take as much time as you’d like”

“No dude what the fuck is your problem I’m not doing that gay shit I’m a marine” I said angrily

“Private, you will suck these two men’s dick, that’s an order” the sergeant said

Once again it was like something in me was triggered and I proceeded to get down on my knees to make it easier for them to stick it in.

“ and you might be a marine but your a fresh marine, ment to be made into whatever the fuck we want you to be, if we want you to be the bottom bitch of the whole platoon, guess what your doing? Suckin dick just like we want you too” the sergeant said as I was giving one of the corporal the works

Both the corporals were bigger than the sergeant, so my only assuming is that the sergeant likes to get drunk with his power and assert it whenever he can, like now

After I got done blowing the first corporal, just like the sergeant did… he ordered me to swallow after cumming in my mouth. laughing, he pulled out and let the 2nd corporal take his turn

This time I didn’t need any instructions and just knew to swallow that way his dick come out my mouth faster, I hated every second of this, I thought the marine corps was the straight bad ass branch but I guess their even worse than the navy somehow

As I swallowed the 2nd corporal’s load I moved my eyes and glanced over at sergeant to see a pissed off expression

“What sergeant, I’m just doing what you told me to do” I said feeling the urge to please my superior officers

“I told you to suck their dicks, I didn’t necessarily say to let them cum in your mouth and swallow it, did i” he said rubbing his hands against the sides of the his temple

“Your point” i asked

“My point is now that you swallowed their cum, your all of our’s bitch now…. man you must really love this don’t you? It’s ok private, I knew from the beginning you must be a little gay from our first encounter, with that being said, we’ll round up the rest of the platoon and make sure you have plenty of cum to swallow and dicks to suck by the end of the week, I’m sure the rest of the guys will be ecstatic to find out they can get free blowjobs whenever they want and not have to go out into town to get it. Good work private” he said now smirking a little bit

“Ok I’ll leave the rest to you two” sergeant said and then walked out

Once the sergeant walked out the corporals both started dying laughing

“Hold up just stay right there private, ima make a call to the E-4 Mafia and get you some more dicks to suck tonight” one of them said pulling out their phone and started reading aloud the text he was sending to a group chat

“E-4 mafia, new platoon bitch is with me right now, drunk as fuck, giving out free blowjobs and swallowing, hit me up if you’d like to get in on this day one, goal is to get him to swallow every guy in the platoon by the end of the week” and send he said

Guys, come on now, this isn’t cool, y’all are gonna make me get a STD or something, you really want that? I said panicking

“Really only a problem for the ones after/if you get one private, but I think most would say it’d be a fair trade off in the hopes of having a platoon wide bitch, it’s gonna be a long 4 years for you dude haha” he said sitting down on the couch keeping an eye on me to make sure I don’t escape before his buddies show up

For some reason thinking about what just happened has me getting hard, the sergeant can go kill himself for all I care, but just like my new marine body, these corporals are starting to look kinda hot

The one that send out the group chat noticed I got hard and addressed me

“You find this hot Cummings” he said with a sly smile on his face

“I got something for you private, just go ahead and close your eyes and start stroking your dick dude, slowly”

I do so, and next thing I know I hear the corporal searching his bag behind me untill he found something, I herd a bag open and he asked me

“ do you like poppers private”

“I love them! What type of popper tho? Like jalapeño poppers?” I said starting to sound excited from the sound of food, drinking on a empty stomach wasn’t my brightest idea

As I’m still stroking my uncut cock I feel the corporal grab the back of my head and go

“ no these ones” he said as he forced my face into the bag inhaling chemicals

It suddenly felt like my dick was about to explode and so I let go immediately but it was too late

My dick started to twitch for a few seconds before I shot my load all over myself

“Noo!! What the fuck was that I yelled”

What I thought you said you liked poppers? I just figured I’d help you get off since you’ll be helping a lot of guys tonight he said with that same sly smile

My whole life has been turned upside down, I was hoping if I could make it pass the next few days the B.E.P. Would swap us back knowing I never cummed, not wanting the swap to be locked in

But now I’m stuck as this private Cummings guy for sure, since the corporal wanted to mess with me and make me cum myself, locking me in this body for years to come

#edit, I’ll try to make a patreon next week where y’all can see the pictures I really want to use for these stories 😏

[one-in-a-million-fishsticks]

Am I the only one who thinks that Alucard and Tera would kind of be a cute ship?

Let me explain!

Tera is a vampire now, and if she survives then she'll need someone else to teach her how to keep surviving.

She's the former group mom, and Alucard is the current group mom. It sounds silly, like a joke, but when you really consider it the two could relate to each other on a spiritual level. Alucard has spent almost his entire life protecting humanity, and Tera has spent the majority of her adult life either helping people as a speaker or protecting Maria as a mother. Both parties know a thing or two about crushing responsibility, and the weight that preserving the lives of others puts on a person.

Alucard is still mourning his polycule after centuries and this is pretty unhealthy, actually. A new flame might be just what he needs to finally remember what true peace and happiness are like, just as Sypha and Trevor would want him to.

People are going to hate me for this, and as a Disclaimer: yes, I know about the game lore. But Alucard getting with Maria just rubs me the wrong way, it's giving Twilight and I don't like it. A 40+ year-old woman is a much better match for a centuries-old dhampir than a 19-year-old, Tera has lived her life and carries much needed experience. Not that Alucard would ever knowingly take advantage of a power imbalance, but in my eyes no pairing between a 300-hundred-year-old and a 19-year-old could ever be healthy.

As long as no vampires or vampire hunters kill her, Tera is now immortal and Alucard won't have to lose her like he lost his human lovers.

Old person romance (my favorite).

[thebunnyslibrary]

Bucky Barnes Valentine's Drabble ❤️

wc. ~1500

pairing. Bucky x Curvy!Reader

summary. Reader is alone and in the gym on Valentine's Day of all days. Until the man of her dreams Bucky Barnes wanders in and offers to be her sparring partner...

an. I had a last minute idea for a drabble......that then morphed into TWO ideas!! Bucky is first up and I have another idea with Loki that I should hope to finish in the next couple of days. (PS I haven't forgotten my last Ficmas fic. I just kind of hit a wall and i'm still struggling to get over it. Maybe this will help.)

Also big shout out to @chasingmidnights for helping inspire me today ❤️

Going to the gym wasn't exactly your first choice of things to start your Valentine’s Day; but here you were. You preferred to come early early, still dark out early, for two reasons. First for being a bit of an early riser yourself. Usually not as early as you were today, but enough that in the summer, you were able to hear the birds sing at breakfast.

 The second that there were less people to stare at you. Confident as you were in your curves, the world had not gotten used to the idea of fat people working out in gyms NOT to lose weight add you’d rather not start today, of all days, that way. Valentine’s Day. You had no real hatred for it. But you did get a little jealous sometimes when you walked in the office and saw so many other desks littered with flowers and candies. But you couldn’t recall a time someone had sent you so much as a single rose.

This year, you’d decided to take the self-care route. You’d ordered takeout last night and tucked it away in the fridge for tonight, along with a slice of your favorite cheesecake from the old-fashioned delicatessen down the street (family owned since the days Tony’s father running Stark Industries). You’d chosen not to weep for your singleness but instead use it as a night of rest and recovery. A good meal, a nice book and your favorite vinyl record along with a long soak in the tub were you self-loves tonight…and your now charging vibrator would take care of the other kind too.  You just had to make it through the day.

                Even though you were a desk jockey, there was a physical exam all SWORD agents had to pass. You weren't extraordinarily physically gifted, but you could kick but in Just Dance when you wanted to. Unfortunately, the virtual reality sparring simulator at the Avengers compound certainly wasn't as fun as silly dance moves to 70s music in your apartment You knew sparring with the examiner wouldn't be like this, but you had no one else to spar with. And that was where Bucky found you.  

"If you'd like I can practice with you, agent." He’d startled you as you quickly removed the virtual reality headset and turned to see him standing there. It was amazing how well he fit into modern clothing.  He was wearing a sleeveless shirt, showing off this metal arm. You’d never seen his arm this closes and you were in awe of the Wakandan craftsmanship. You'd long admired the former assassin, but never thought in a million years he'd notice you. He was the dark contrast to Captain America, the golden boy. Both were incredibly handsome but there was something mysterious about him that drew you to him. You could easily see why he’d been a lady’s man in the 40s. And you were just a desk clerk. You couldn’t compete with the women, all of whom looked like super models, that threw themselves at him.

You looked around, not seeing any one else and turned back to him, standing there and looking at you, a genuine smile on his face. You nodded and quietly responded.

"Uh...yeah. that would be nice."

Sparring with Bucky gave you a much better experience. Being able to actually fight someone who was there instead of just a simulation felt great. Even though you were sure Bucky was taking it easy on you, you were a lot stronger than you thought, not to mention quick. You were able to duck and dodge and lay a few quick jabs to his chest. And that was nothing compared to how confident you felt, and how good Bucky looked. He seemed to be enjoying himself, a smile never leaving his face. Once or twice you’d stared a little too long and he’d gotten a few jabs in, but you recovered quickly. 

 At one point he had his arms around you in a hold and you were amazed how warm he felt. His chest brushed against your back and you let out a little gasp that you prayed to God he didn't hear. But you saw the smirk play at his lips.

"Sorry, doll. I run a little warm cause of the serum."

"It's alright.” You said, sheepishly. “Your touch actually feels nice." You bit your cheek as you realized how wrong that probably was to say. To your surprise, Bucky didn’t mention it.

"Well the best way to pass a test is with the proper tools. Not with Tony’s toys." He said, rolling his eyes. “And your touch feels good too.” You raised your eyebrows in surprise before he continued “You’ve got a good strong grip.” He shot you a wink and you couldn’t begin to process what he meant when the sparring resumed. Bucky and you trained for a good hour or so and by the end you felt much better about the exam.

Bucky also took the time to show you a few new self-defense maneuvers. He was demonstrating a quick way to hit someone in the gut before raising your hands up to hit them in the face.

"It's one fluid movement." He guided your arms. By now you were CERTAINLY used to his touch. Especially in moments like now where you when his arms where wrapped around you to guide you.  You'd never felt more safe and secure.

"Like this...." You jabbed your elbows backwards before swinging are your arms up, hands closed together and you FELT the contact against Bucky’s nose as you'd executed the move perfectly. But your pride turned to panic as Bucky grunted, then started a fit of coughing as you realized what you’d done.

"Holy shit. Oh my God. I mean... oh shit. Uhm. Captain America is gunna kill me.... Sargent Barnes uhm...sir...?? Are you okay??"

Bucky coughed a few more times, before his breathing finally shallowed. His hand was clutch his nose, now paying attention to that and feeling to make sure it wasn't broken before he finally spoke to you.

“Well doll, I certainly didn't expect you to knock the wind out of me twice in one day. But I'll take it. And you can just call me Bucky.” He said and you felt like you were going to faint. Had he just said what you thought he did?

"Wha...what...? Twice?" you said in disbelief.

“Sure doll.” Bucky admitted. “First was when I walked In here today.  Though I have to say you've done it a few times before that" he admitted. “Like the other day when I dropped off that paperwork and you looked so beautiful in your blue dress.” He bit his lip, recalling the memory.

“You're not. You're not serious, right?” He couldn’t be.

“Yeah. Uhm. I am doll. I’ve been wanting to say something for a while but I was worried you were scared of me.”  Your heart twinged a little and you gently placed your hand on his mechanical arm.

“Not at all Bucky. In fact, I’ve liked you for some time as I just…didn’t think you’d notice me. You could have any girl you want and I’m just a desk clerk.” You said. “Not a supermodel or a superhero. Or anything special."

“Hey listen to me. You’re absolutely gorgeous doll. Why do you think I’m the one that’s always bringing you everyone else’s paperwork.” You thought for a moment before you realized it was true. You’d never noticed it but while you often saw other Avengers dropping off work to someone else, whenever something had to come to you, Bucky was always the one to bring it. “It’s the highlight of my day when I get to see you. His words, full of honesty and admiration made your heart swell. He placed his flesh hand over yours and squeezed it tight. You gazed into the crystal blue pools of his eyes as he broke the moment.

“Besides everyone knows it’s desk clerks that makes the world go round. Trust me, My ma worked as a secretary for a while. The stories she could’ve told.” You both laughed at that and you loved his laugh. You weren’t sure you’d ever heard him really laugh before. It wasn’t as deep or boisterous as Thor’s. Rather it pattered and reminded you of summer’s rain on a wooden roof. And you loved the way his shoulders shook, even if it wasn’t that big of a laugh.

“Listen, doll, I know it's super last minute...and if you didn’t already have plans tonight… I We'll never get a reservation anywhere. But you could come back to my place and I could cook you dinner? Maybe we can watch a movie?” Bucky asked. You smiled and happily replied.

                “It's a date.”

[gainercontent]

We need to talk about your weight, Part 1

A conversational-style gainer story.

Alex: (laughs) Dude, is that really you? I almost didn’t recognize you!

Ben: (grins sheepishly) Yeah, it’s me. Been a minute, huh?

Alex: A minute? More like 2 years! Man, I’ve gotta say... you’ve changed. gestures at Ben What happened?

Ben: laughs nervously Well, you know, life and... a lot of pizza. Fell off bit.

Alex: raises eyebrows No way, you’re telling me you’ve been eating pizza? Last time I saw you, you were locked in, bro!

Ben: shrugs Yeah, about that... Work, stress, sitting around... I just crashed out.

Alex: laughs Man, I was gonna say you definitely fell off, let yourself go. pauses How bad is it?

Ben: looks down at his stomach Uh, pretty bad. I’ve gained like 40 pounds since we last hung out.

Alex: Whoa... I gotta admit, I didn’t see that coming. I thought I’d be the one who looked different. gestures at himself

Ben: eyes widen Wait, you? What are you talking about?

Alex: grins You remember how I was back in the day—gestures to his past self—the "couch potato" vibe? Well, things have... changed. I’ve been hitting the gym, eating better... lost about 60 pounds since last time.

Ben: blinks For real? laughs So you’re like the opposite of me now? What’s your secret?

Alex: Secret? Honestly, just locking in. I started small, cut out the junk, and actually made time for workouts. I wasn’t in a rush. Slow and steady.

Ben: Damn, I need to hear more about that.

Alex: nods sympathetically I get that. It’s tough. But you’ve been fit before, right? You know the feeling of being in shape. Just start small. Maybe don’t run a marathon next week, but a walk around the block could be a start.

Ben: smiles Yeah, you’re right. pauses Alright, I’ll give it a shot. And I’m not gonna lie, it’s kind of inspiring seeing you like this. I need some of that energy.

Alex: grinning Dude, come on. You're not that bad. flexes jokingly

Ben: laughs Compared to you...

Alex: mock offense I’ve dropped 60 pounds, bro! We are basically a walking before-and-after photo. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been killing it lately. I hit the gym like it’s my job. My scale’s practically scared of me now. I used to stand on it and it’d just say, “Are you sure?” laughs But now? Now it just says, “Congratulations.”

Ben: groaning Ugh, don’t remind me. I got on my scale last week, and it was like, “Error: too many pounds.” It just blinked at me like, “You’re beyond saving, buddy.”

Alex: laughs louder Bro, your scale’s basically judging you! That’s crazy. But hey, look, you’ll get there. I didn’t lose all this weight overnight. It took a lot of late nights at the gym and cutting out all the pizza and late-night grub.

Ben: smirking Oh, I remember the pizza. The “late-night pizza” era. You, me, a pizza, and a Netflix binge. Classic.

Alex: laughs Yeah. But now? I look at pizza and think, “That’s like a week of hard work on my waistline.” I used to just sit on the couch and eat chips like it was my job. grinning But listen, this is the perfect time to lock in, right? You’ve got a solid base to work from.

Ben: nodding Yeah, yeah. You’re right. Let’s do it. But you’ve gotta promise me something—if I hit the gym, you’ll join me for one more pizza... just for old times’ sake?

Alex: laughing Fine. But only if you promise me you won’t eat an entire pizza by yourself. Come to the gym sometime and let’s get you back to “Fit Ben.” I’ll even give you a few tips on how to avoid turning into “Ben and Jerry's" again.

[A few months later...]

Alex: grinning sheepishly as he points at Ben's middle Alright. I think we need to talk about this.

Alex: looking up from his Nintendo Switch Wha?

Alex: motioning to Ben You see this? pats his belly I swear, you've gotten even bigger since the last time we hung out.

Ben: laughs Bro, come on. It's not that bad.

Alex: pauses for a second Well, I’m not going to lie, I noticed you’ve put on a bit more weight. But hey, no shame I guess. shrugs Look, it’s not too late to turn it around again.

Ben: sighs deeply Yeah, I keep telling myself that. But the more I eat, the harder it is to stop. I mean, remember how I used to joke about having an emotional connection to pizza? Well, I think I’ve found true love in extra cheese and ranch dipping sauce. laughs awkwardly

Alex: laughing but with a hint of concern I get it. You’re not the first person to fall off, and you won’t be the last. But you’ve got to lock in, bro. You can’t keep punishing yourself with food.

Ben: shrugs Easy for you to say, Mr. Six-Pack. glances at Alex’s abs Every time I see you, I’m reminded of how much of a crash out I've had. Like, I’m stuck here, and you’re out there thriving.

Alex: sighs I don’t want to rub it in, but I’ve been locked in. I didn’t just wake up like this. But you know what? I remember how it felt when I was where you are now. So don’t think I’m looking down on you.

Ben: grimaces It’s hard not to feel like you're judging me, though. I used to be in your shoes. I was the guy with the abs, the guy who could run a 5K without breaking a sweat. Now, I can barely walk upstairs without being out of breath.

Alex: pauses, then smiles softly Dude, I won’t let you quit on yourself. Not when I know how good it feels to glow up. standing up and motioning toward the bathroom Alright, man. Day 1. Let’s see what the scale says. You first or me?

Ben: shrugging You go first...

Alex: grinning Alright, fine. walks to the scale and steps on it, eyes narrowing as the numbers flash

Ben: peeking over Alex’s shoulder What’s it say?

Alex: pauses for a second, then smirks 185. Exactly where I want to be.

Ben: whistles 185, huh? That’s crazy, man. You’ve really kept it together. So what’s the secret, huh? No pizza?

Alex: laughs Not quite. The secret is consistency. But I’m also not living the “no pizza” life. pauses I’ve found the balance, you know? I have my moments. I’m just more mindful of what I eat and when.

Ben: nodding That’s impressive, man. Alright, alright, now my turn. hesitates, then steps up to the scale, bracing himself

Alex: watching closely Don’t sweat it, bro. It’s just a number.

Ben: winces as the numbers flash Oh… looks at the scale in disbelief 243.

Alex: raises an eyebrow, trying to hide his surprise Whoa... alright. That’s... more than I expected.

Ben: chuckles bitterly Yeah, I guess I’m a little more than expected. I didn’t think I’d actually gain more weight after we talked about it, but here we are.

Alex: pauses, then pats Ben on the back It’s okay, man. Honestly, we all go through stuff. Just means it’s time for a reset. But 243... that’s a bit of a jump, huh?

Ben: rubbing his belly Yeah, well, when I think back to when I was running marathons and keeping my weight under control, I never imagined I'd be over 200...

Alex: chuckling Yeah, I hear you. For me, I never imaged I would feel my ribs. Like, when I lean over, I can actually touch my abs without feeling like I’m about to suffocate.

Ben: laughs Damn, that sounds like a luxury. I’m over here trying to find my waistline under all this, like, "Is it even still there?"

Alex: pauses thoughtfully It’s there, man. You’ve just got a lot more to uncover. I remember when I started, I could barely see my feet. laughs And now? Well, I can see the abs, but more importantly, I can breathe easier.

Ben: looking down at his stomach I can't believe I look like this when I was ripped 2 years ago....

Alex: I didn’t get to 185 in a month. It was a whole journey. glancing at Ben as he stands up from the scale, eyes lingering for a second Bro, Is that your shirt, or did you borrow it from someone else?

Ben: looks down at his shirt and grimaces Oh, uh… yeah, it’s definitely mine. Not sure why it feels like it's been painted on, though.

Alex: grinning Dude, I think it’s having an existential crisis. It’s like the fabric’s just trying to hold on for dear life.

Ben: mockingly Oh, look at Mr. Chad over here.

Alex: laughs harder Hey, it’s not my fault I’ve got the body of a Greek god now. You’re just stuck in the before photo, my dude.

Ben: groans Ugh, don’t remind me. Not going to lie, my pants are getting so tight, I’m worried I’m going to have a wardrobe malfunction.

Alex: grinning widely Oh yeah. I can already picture it—your pants just snap like a slingshot, and it’s like, “Boom! The transformation begins!”

Ben: laughs and pats his stomach Bro if I inhale too deeply, I’m going to rip the fabric like the Hulk.

Alex: teasing Well, at least you’ve got an excuse to buy a whole new wardrobe. And hey, you could always go for the “oversized” look. I’ve seen people rock that style. It's like, “Hey, I’m not overweight, I’m just on trend.” grinning You know, man, I’ve got a bunch of old clothes from when I was in your... uh, previous state. You want some? You might find them more comfortable than what you’ve been squeezing into.

Ben: raising an eyebrow Wait, you’re offering me your old fat clothes?

Alex: laughing Bro, seriously, it’s either that or you keep risking a wardrobe malfunction every time you sit down. Plus, the stuff I’ve got is super comfy. It might make the whole “getting back on track” thing a little less... restrictive.

Ben: shrugging Well, at least I’ll be comfortable while I work on getting back into my old stuff. I guess I can’t argue with free clothes. So, yeah, I’ll take some.

Alex: chuckling Alright, alright. But hey, I’m feeling a little hungry myself. What do you say we get some pizza... you know, to motivate you into working out again?

Ben: eyes lighting up Oh, now you’re speaking my language. Pizza’s a great idea.

Alex: grinning Perfect. One pizza, coming right up. But... holds up a finger Just one slice for me. I’m sticking to my meal plan. The rest? All yours.

Ben: looks at Alex, trying not to laugh Wait, you’re serious? raises eyebrow You’re going to order a whole pizza and only eat one slice?

Alex: nodding firmly Yup. Just one. One slice won’t kill me. But I know you’ll need more than that.

Ben: smirking Bro, you're a real one. You know, you could’ve just let me eat the whole pizza, but instead, you're being all generous, like, “Here, have the whole thing while I just have a taste.”

Alex: laughing Hey, someone’s gotta make sure you don’t fall off completely. You can’t have an entire pizza by yourself.

Ben: grinning Oh, trust me, I could probably take down two pizzas right now. stomach grumbles loudly

Alex: mock serious Alright, but remember—one slice for me. You don’t want me turning into before Alex again. That’s a slippery slope.

Ben: watching Alex bring the pizza in, the smell wafting toward him You’re really going to be the hero of the day, huh? grinning But I’ll let you have your “one slice.” I’ll take the rest.

Alex: laughing I’m a man of my word. sits down, takes a single bite of his slice, then looks at Ben Enjoy, my friend. The pizza’s all yours.

Ben: takes a big bite, sighing with contentment Oh yeah. This is it. This is what dreams are made of.

Alex: taking a slow bite of his own slice, watching Ben devour his You know, I might’ve overestimated how strong my willpower is. Just watching you eat that pizza is like torture.

Ben: looking up with a mouthful of pizza You know, if you really want to break your rules, I’ll let you have one more bite. grins mischievously I promise I won’t tell anyone.

Alex: laughing Oh, I’m sure. pauses dramatically I’m sticking to my one slice. But man, you’ve earned this. watches Ben keep eating

Ben: licking his lips Damn right, I have. Now, when do I get my second pizza? Because we both know this isn’t gonna be enough.

[love-toxin]

I want to be Dr. Brighton’s controversially young (legal) girlfriend. I want people to whisper and gossip about it…

PRRRR!!!! YOU GET IT!!!! Being Dr. Brighton's pretty lil' gf that's half her age but twice as adorable (in her own words) that she spoils and dotes on and just thinks of nothing else but you. Why a 20-something in college is dating a 40-year-old woman escapes most people, but they don't get to hear Lyza's praise whispered in their ears or ride her strap at all hours of the day, so what they think really doesn't matter. Compared to someone like Adrian, who would worry about spoiling you too much, Lyza can't spoil you enough. No kids and a professor's salary will do that to you. Clothes, books, makeup, lingerie--she even buys you toys to use on her or yourself for the bedroom, gives you her credit card and pulls the website up on her laptop and lets you pick out whatever you want. The only stipulation is that you have to show her whatever you buy when it comes in the mail, and demo it for her so she can show you how to use it...especially those little vibes that come with remote controllers or apps, so she can test it out so to speak.

Honestly Lyza wants people to gossip about it. She wants her colleagues and scholar peers to make comments about the young thing she's got a picture of as her phone's wallpaper, she wants her students to whisper during class about Dr. Brighton having a thing for college girls, and she wants to grin and chuckle at their comments without answering any of their questions because they don't know you at all. They don't know how many times a day you text her a picture of your panties all soaked through, begging mommy to give you some attention when you see her later. They certainly don't know anything about the way you beg when you're in heat, grinding on her hips and hitching your breath when her clit kisses yours, asking and pleading for her to make you cum. And she loves when you get asked out by frat boys or cute alternative girls and you just peer over at her for help, fidgeting with your fingers and mumbling until Lyza comes over and swoops in to save the day.

Not to mention how much she'd love breaking you in, especially if you're her first relationship or you've had a string of bad ones--particularly if those were with men, because she wants to rewrite your experiences and show you what it's like to be with someone who adores you. Your exes wouldn't eat you out? She's there demanding it before you leave for work or school in the mornings, so she can give your pussy the kisses she needs before you head off for the day. Got made fun of for being too fat, or too skinny? Pressured to gain or lose weight? Lyza will snap dozens of photos with her nice camera, put you in skimpy clothes and position you and everything, just for photos she can print out and keep on her in case she needs to see you and get off when you're not around. Trying to shave your body hair? Shut up. She'll finger you until you cry if you wax off that bush she loves for her--unless it itches and you want it gone for your own sake, you'd better keep it. She's not a 20-year-old kid, she's a grown woman, and her tastes have matured.

People probably think that it's a passing phase, too; "Oh, she's just confused" or "She has mommy/daddy issues" or "She's probably getting paid for it", but they're all beyond wrong. Thinking Lyza's just a sugar mommy or you're just 'experimenting' as college girls do is a complete reduction of Lyza's perspective of you. Yeah, she loves fucking you, and she loves your naiveté and the sweetness of your youthful optimism, but she knows fully well and knows that you know that she doesn't bother with people she's not wholly obsessed with. You just happen to be younger, but there's no way you won't be aware of how devoted Lyza is to you as a partner. She already has you named in her phone as "wife", so don't get it twisted--you can have the sugar, but you're not her sugarbaby. You're hers.

[deleteddewewted]

DILF! Shinsho Headcanons

Dilf! Shinso x Fem! Reader ( @lookhereiam drew dilf! Shinso a long time ago during a brain rotting session and I’m finally being it back. Here’s the amazing art!!!)

A/n: This headcanon is going to be more of a loe dump for the Dilf! Shinso series I've been working on.

MDNI

W: Fluff, Angst, Shinsho has two kids, Shinso became a hero and retired after a near-death experience and decided to work in marketing afterward so his kids wouldn't be left without a parent, His ex-wife is a bitch.

He became a dad pretty early on in his hero career. He doesn't regret a thing. He loves kids, they're his world. So when he had to change some of his work routines he was happy to do so he could spend more time with his kids.

He and his ex wife don't have an active co-parent relationship. She's absent and refuses to see their kids. Shinso and his children don't care anymore if she's in their lives.

After a near death experience he realized that if he was incapacitated or killed no one would be able to take care of his kids. He felt bad enough the first few times he got badly injured and asked his friends for help, Aizawa always telling him that he needed to be more careful with himself, but this out everything into perspective for him.

He dreamed of being a hero and doing something that would help people see that he was worth being one but he also dreamed of being there for his kids and getting to experience life with them.

He retires from hero work and was then moved to the marketing department of the hero company he was working for.

He loves that he now has time to enjoy watching his kids grow. His daughter and son get to have him every morning, evening, and weekends. He can’t wait to see what kinds of people his kids will become.

After his divorce he hasn’t put too much mind into dating. His focus is his kids and as he’s started to lose interest in keeping up with his heroic counterparts he’s started gaining weight over the years. He finds himself self conscious about his weight gain.

Wears glasses. He’s on his computer all the time so his eyesight has gone downhill.

But he time his kids are heading off to college he’s in his late to early 40’s.

He’s refused to date Ben after his kids kept insisting the would be happy for him if he found someone.

He doesn’t see a need to be with someone or even start dating again after so long. He’s lived his life and raised his children. He can’t wait to see what they would do once they’re out of college.

Yet, when he meets a new colleague of his he can’t seem to take his eyes off of them.

You’re gorgeous. There’s no other way to describe you.

You carry yourself with power and grace it’s majestic to see.

He’s shy and nervous around you. He’s never able to make eye contact with you especially when you lean closer to him. He hopes he’s not sweating too much.

Doesn’t pick up subtle flirting because he’s thinking that maybe he’s just being a weird old man by thinking that you’re flirting with him.

Feels like he’s going to pass away when you ask him to explain what he’s doing work wise.

When you finally convinced him to have lunch with you, he finds out that you’ve been engaged but never married. He hates that the information made no balls because it feels unfair to you.

He finally build sup the courage after working with you for months now, to ask you to eat at his home.

He offers to cook and when you accept he’s thrilled but once you leave he realizes he made a mistake because he doesn’t actually know how to cook.

[frownyalfred]

Narratively speaking, when should the batkids be able to beat Batman single-handedly? Sure, Cass can do it already and Dick is seen as above or on Batman's level but what are your thoughts on this? It's always hard to do this stupid power level stuff because the character you want to win is obviously gonna win, but you still have to show that Batman is this super ubermensch martial artist who always has a plan and whose goal is to make his kids surpass him but then how do you do that? When can you say, "yeah Batman's cool and all but [enter batkid's name] would totally wipe the floor with the old man if they were to fight 1v1"? This is extremely exaggerated but you get what I mean, right?

I'm genuinely fascinated by this question and I thought I could just ask you.

Thanks!😀

Yeah, it’s all biased like you pointed out since we all want our special blorbo to be the most special blorbo, even in situations where the logic gets pretty thin.

The thing with Bruce is, in his prime, he’s a god-tier fighter for multiple reasons. He’s got insane training under his belt, he’s at or above peak physical human conditioning, he’s trained to think strategically about combat, he’s fast for his size (despite his size), and he’s BIG.

The last one is so important. He’s anywhere from 6’ to 6’4, 190 to 240 lbs of muscle, etc. He’s not losing to most people in a fair fight! And he’s definitely not losing to someone much shorter and lighter than him when it comes to sheer power.

What’s interesting about the comics is that they largely argue that Bruce losing these 1v1s comes down to skill and experience. Cass trained for years to be a weapon, and her advanced training is what supposedly tips the scales in her favor. Same thing with Damian. Bruce makes the argument that enough training can create conditions for his Robins to surpass him, like you mentioned.

But is that actually a fair determinator of a fight? Can most if not all advantages Bruce might have in a fight with a woman half his size be overcome by volume or rigor of training?

It’s the comics, so the answer changes depending on what’s intriguing and fun. We can oscillate between Bruce being the ultimate overpowered fighter who can’t ever lose and Bruce getting his ass handed to him by his kids because it all comes down to power ranking, which is SO subjective.

Should the Batkids be able to beat him? In my opinion, not when he’s in his prime and it’s a fair fight. That isn’t me saying that they can’t win 1v1 through skill, misdirection, getting lucky, etc.

That’s not me trying to shit on female fighters either. Dick carrying 30-40 lbs less muscle than Bruce puts him at a disadvantage too. Jason being the same weight but not as fast/nimble puts him at a disadvantage to Bruce. Damian being a child fighting an adult will ALWAYS result in an unbalanced fight.

If you’ve ever squared up with a heavier, larger, more skilled opponent — especially if you’re a woman and they’re a man — one of the first things you have to learn is that, when it comes to pure strength, you cannot hope to win. It is an inherent advantage, and why we have weight classes for fighting.

Your goal is to figure out a way to get around that advantage. To be smarter, or faster. We teach women about throws and the benefits of having a lower center of gravity. We teach kids the benefits of being flexible or smaller in certain holds. Things like that.

But comics aren’t real life. The better question is, have we overpowered Bruce in a way that makes taking him down a peg or two somewhat difficult or implausible? How can we better show his flaws and complexity as a character when the stakes get set too high?

[morgansdeb]

Seeing the One Piece fanbase hyping up this 24-year-old white girl to play Robin because they're allergic to older and non-white women is so annoying to me (they're also allergic to fat women)*. The fact that she's super young when Robin is supposed to be visibly older and more mature than the East Blue Five, makes her an immediate NO for me. These weirdos will see a super young girl with black bangs and scream "Robin-chan~~!!!" because they can't consume media without their dicks in their hands. I mean, 19k likes? Seriously?

Iñaki Godoy is 20. Mackenyu is 27. Taz Skylar and Jacob Gibson are 28. Emily Rudd is 31. The ideal thing would be for Robin to be 40 (or AT LEAST 32, and not look like she just graduated high school. She needs to look older than Emily Rudd and the rest of the cast).

I can only imagine the amount of racist vitriol Robin's actress will get if she ends up being a WOC. And let's not even start with the comments about the size of her breasts. Emily Rudd is the most conventionally attractive white girl you could think of, and I still see comments saying she wasn't "right" for Nami because her boobs aren't "big enough."

"But Oda said that if Robin were real, she'd be Russian!!11!" And he also said Luffy would be Brazilian (Iñaki is Mexican), Nami would be Swedish (Emily is American), Sanji would be French (Taz is Spanish/English), and with Usopp... all he did was write Africa, which isn't a country. So let's be serious for a bit. Those answers weren't literal.

Y'all love to talk about how the creepy things that he says on the SBS are "jokes" (remember when he sexually harassed a fan who asked him if she could be a Jump Editor, or when he said he fantasized about Rebecca's top falling during battle? Because I do), so why are these answers the one thing you choose to take seriously?

But this fandom being filled with racist, misogynistic, fatphobic incels isn't surprising considering how terrible Oda is. All these issues are connected and lead back to the source material. It's nearly impossible to have productive conversations about One Piece when everyone wants to blame all the bad on OPLA or Toei, as if the creator himself wasn't the one who opened the door for every single problem.

Some of you act as if someone kicked your dog whenever someone dares to suggest that Oda isn't the Super Progressive Writer™ the fandom has deluded themselves into thinking he is. I don't even understand where the denial comes from, considering his misogyny is so blatant and his association with sex offenders is public information. I understand loving One Piece, but you don't need to kiss Oda's ass, you know? He's not a good person.

Being critical of the media you consume and its creator isn't being a "hater". I can consume One Piece while disliking its many, many issues. I didn't sign a contract that says I have to like every single thing about it.

I'll be upset if Robin ends up being played by some 20-something white actress, but I'm already upset by the fandom's attitude. *Don't think I haven't noticed the obsession some folks have with monitoring Ilia Isorelýs Paulino's social media activity to check if she's losing weight to be "manga/anime accurate Alvida", as if Alvida magically becoming thin is this super important plot point that needs to be adapted. The source material and the fandom's treatment of fat women is another topic I could rant about for days.

[hldailyupdate]

The Unlikely Lads: How Pete Doherty, Louis Tomlinson and Noel Gallagher teamed up for rising star Andrew Cushin

Not much can unite an Oasis brother, a One Directioner, and an erstwhile Babyshambler – but Andrew Cushin has done just that. Mark Beaumont speaks to the singer and his A-list backers about what they see in this Geordie ‘destined for great things’

Maybe once in a generation, the stars align: barriers crumble and the pop lamb lies down with the indie rock jackal. Kylie Minogue and Nick Cave. Miley Cyrus and The Flaming Lips. And now, Louis Tomlinson and Pete (now Peter) Doherty: united not on record, but to co-release the debut album by 23-year-old Andrew Cushin, a little-known Newcastle troubadour with a gift for mesmerising superstars – from all walks, evidently.

There’s no other explanation for a story that reads like A Star is Bornmeets Pygmalion, with a dash of The Karate Kid – on a hefty fried breakfast – thrown in. One whiff of Cushin’s early live footage and Noel Gallagher was producing his songs. A glimpse of him playing on Soccer AM and Tomlinson swept him away around the world on tour. Brief exposure to his onstage performance and Doherty was clamouring to release his debut album alongside Tomlinson, in what has become a hands-across-the-cultural-ocean collaboration. Forget “right place, right time”, Cushin is the right place and his time is clearly now.

“It’s all happened very much by chance,” this Geordie Maharishi self-deprecates down the phone from an airport midway through his 36 dates supporting Tomlinson on a tour that’s taken him across the UK, Europe and America. In several weeks his album, Waiting For The Rain, will come close to breaking the Top 40, partly down to such support from big-name mentors, partly thanks to an arresting talent set to bewitch a generation. “There’s a lot of acts that gig for three or four years and then they get discovered,” he says. “We were the opposite – you’re going out on this tour, but you’ve already got these big names behind you, you’ve just got to go and learn now. It’s been like an apprenticeship in music.”

Luck, Cushin’s celebrity backers will attest, had very little to do with it. “The songs are great,” Tomlinson tells me. “They’re super honest, super real. The lyrics cut deep, some of them, and I think that’s really brave as a new songwriter.” Doherty agrees. “It was the weight of what he was singing about, that was the first thing that grabbed me,” the Libertines rocker says. “The emotional weight of his songs and also the strength of his voice.”

Hard-earned traits, it transpires. In the wake of his father’s death, a then 18-year-old Cushin began pouring his anguish and survival instinct into rock-leaning singer-songwriting of brutal honesty and stirring redemption. If “Just Like You’d Want Me To” was an open letter to his father about his determination to overcome his grief and forge on to glory, the glowering “4.5%” was a devastating portrait of the effect his dad’s alcoholism had on the family. “By 12, he’s falling down the stairs, by one he’s claiming no one cares,” Cushin sings over plaintive piano and a faded heartbeat, “each drink, it drowns your son and daughter”.

“I wrote that three days after he passed away, out of such horrible emotions of losing a parent and not being able to speak to anybody,” Cushin says of what he calls his “therapy song”. “Sometimes it is hard for me to sing because it does bring me back to that place. But at the same time I’ve played that song so many times now and it’s amazing how many people come forward and can relate to it. Anybody who goes through having a parent who’s alcoholic or a friend who’s alcoholic, they all have similar stories and feelings about things that go on. If somebody knows someone who’s an alcoholic, they’ll know what I went through and vice versa.”

Cushin set about playing his songs around the pubs of Newcastle. Within three weeks he had secured a manager with links to Noel Gallagher who, in turn, put Cushin in touch with promoters and labels after being emailed a video clip of a live show. “When I was growing up my heroes were Noel and Weller and basically everything that my dad used to listen to,” Cushin says. “So to be doing music for about three weeks and to have an email from Noel and him to help us out with promoters and that, it was an insane three or four weeks. I hadn’t even played a gig outside of Newcastle at that point.”

Gallagher produced, sang backing vocals and played guitar on Cushin’s 2020 track “Where’s My Family Gone”, a raw dissection of familial conflict and the third and final single Cushin released on Virgin before his deal collapsed and gigs dried up during the pandemic. Cushin took Gallagher’s parting advice to heart, though. “He told us to graft,” he told NME in 2020. “He just said keep your head down, work hard and write, write, write. That’s what I’ll do.”

Constructing his album during the Covid downtime, Cushin swiftly bounced back, blessed from pop’s Mount Olympus. At his first post-lockdown shows, supporting Doherty solo for three dates, he found the Libertines singer side of stage each night, increasingly enthused by his performances. “I got about two songs in and I looked to my left and he was stood at the side of the stage kinda clapping away,” Cushin recalls. Doherty, having launched his own label Strap-Originals, enquired if he was signed. “I went, ‘No, no, we’ve just been released’, he went ‘Let’s see if we can do something’. Second night it was ‘We definitely need to do something’ and by the third night, he was all for it. Within four or five weeks we had a full album deal on the table.”

As the deal progressed, Doherty took Cushin on UK tours, drinking and jamming together on the road. Although, from the sound of it, touring with the now reputedly drug-free Doherty is no longer the class-A bacchanal of old. “I wouldn’t necessarily say [the tours were] wild,” Cushin claims, “Peter is getting on a little bit now, he’s a little bit older.” Then, last October, a fateful performance on Soccer AM mesmerised another high-profile supporter of the six-stringed arts.

“I just thought Andrew came across really f***ing confident,” says Tomlinson, who messaged Cushin on Twitter after the show to offer him a support slot at Shepherd’s Bush Empire. That show turned into 36 support dates across the world. “A lot of my fans will know that I’ve always been interested in new music and people on the up and however else I can offer a bit of advice or help. And if he’s already got the songwriting prowess that he’s got at this age on his debut album, the kid’s destined for great things. He came out on the American tour and he was mostly acoustic for a lot of it and that’s a real tough gig, just you and a guitar. But his voice is f***ing huge, a really big sounding voice. He really came into his own as a singer but also as a performer.”

As curator of his own The Away From Home indie rock festival in Italy, where he headlined alongside acts such as Blossoms and The Cribs this August, Tomlinson confesses to having been One Direction’s secret guitar rock fanatic. “It’s what I grew up listening to,” he says. “There was this really good indie bar in Doncaster where I grew up. It was 10 quid all you could drink. It lasted about 18 months and then the council banned it, but it was f***ing incredible. So that’s where I got into all that indie guitar music and stuff like that. To be honest, I kinda dumbed that down a little bit when I was in the band, obviously, because it was a very different thing, One Direction. So I think as I’ve gone out on my own it’s been about re-finding my roots and guitar music is something that has had a massive influence on my life.”

To this end, Tomlinson hopes to convert his more pop-inclined fans to the ways of the distortion pedal, bed hair and fourth-day jeans. “What’s fascinating to me is watching my fanbase watching [guitar bands], listening to this music and taking a real passion like I do. That makes me really proud.” And also, from a talent show phenomenon who’d otherwise have wanted to become a teacher or sports coach, a touch of popstar payback.

‘If I’m feeling down or if I’m in a bad way my therapy is the guitar’ 

Tomlinson’s 78 Productions teaming up with Doherty’s Strap-Originals label, then, isn’t quite the clash of cultural opposites it first appears. “Look at some of the great labels,” Doherty argues. “Look at The Sex Pistols with Malcolm McLaren getting together with Richard Branson. Over the years, labels’ main aim was to be a springboard for their artists to get as many people to hear the music they believe in. Whatever that takes – if that means having a major label take you up the alley for five minutes I will do that for my artists any day of the week.”

“Obviously I was a massive Libertines fan growing up,” says Tomlinson of his grungier counterpart. “It’s an honour to me. I really look up to [Doherty] as a songwriter, as a poet, as a creative in general. And I also know that he’s got Andrew’s best interests at heart, which is not something you can always say in these kinds of joint ventures.” The pair haven’t yet met to thrash out the details over a power fry-up, though. “There’s not been a lot of back and forth,” says Tomlinson, “We’re both busy guys. I’d love to sit down and have a chat with him, definitely. That sounds like the kind of business meeting I’d want to turn up to.”

It’s something of a fairytale ending for Cushin, and his Dave Eringa-produced album that is so fraught with struggle. Alongside celebratory Britpopian terrace anthems like “Wor Flags” and orchestral pop uplifts like “Dream for a Moment”, grimy soul rocker “Let Me Give It To You” tackles drug abuse, while the fatalistic “The End” envisions Cushin’s own funeral, complete with child choir singing: “It’s the end of everything and I didn’t mean a thing.” And, on “You’ll Be Free”, he confronts the sometimes-fatal consequences of men being expected to bottle up their pain.

“Suicide is something I hold very, very close to my chest, unfortunately,” Cushin says of the song. “I’ve lost the most important people in my life to suicide. Everybody coming through with their support for different organisations has been amazing but, for me, I can’t go and talk to someone. If I’m feeling down or if I’m in a bad way my therapy is the guitar.”

There’s something deeply heartening, then, about seeing Cushin so enthusiastically grasp the A-list opportunities flung in his path. “We were over the moon when both Louis and Peter both came together,” he says. “It’s such a dream thing for me to be in the middle, releasing a record through these two unbelievable artists. We’ve already done so much so quickly and we’re in a massive whirlwind of people just pushing and pushing.” Cushin may be the celebrity-coveted Bored Ape NFT of singer-songwriters, but his value is set to rocket.

[jessicafangirl]

The First Chapter of My Ghost Fic is here!

Please be kind. I've not written anything for this group before but god damn do I love Copia and this idea hit me and I decided to do it.

I'm a wordy bitch. You've been warned. You can also read this on Archive Of Our Own here

@nequissimus-canis asked to be tagged which was very kind. This is also dedicated to @foxybouquet who I blame for so many amazing things that I've learned and who enables me beautifully. You are my fave Ghestie.

Music Eternal, Fire Infernal.

Jennifer Travers is at the tail end of 40 and decides to do something spontaneous. Unfortunately things REALLY don't go as planned. Her life is in now in danger and the only place of refuge is a satanic church. She knew the band Ghost already, but she didn't know until that day that all of it was real and it would lead to something that would change her life forever, in more ways than one. And it would lead to some revelations for Copia Emeritus too.

Chapter 1

“The cemetery here is close to 300 years old. It contains some interesting residence that have a history that will send a shiver down your spine.” The tour guide’s Maglite flashed along the path and caught one or two of the “residence” headstones as he droned on in a bored monotone. As the group walked through the dark, Jennifer realized this was not one of her best ideas. Her breath was visible as she huddled in her hoodie. Let’s go on the spooky ooky tour, she thought to herself. Let’s troll through an old graveyard at night. Hey there’s a satanic church nearby…what could go wrong? All of that sounded great on paper but the reality was really kind of fucking miserable. This guy knew literally nothing about what he was talking about. Jen could have done a better job…not that that would have been hard.

She sighed and tightened the straps on her backpack. At 47 walking while carrying a backpack weighted down by her Switch, iPad, and clothes was not as easy as it used to be. But she wanted to travel light. This trip was something she’d promised herself for a while. After the year she’d had, a spur of the moment trip to the east coast to visit some of the older and creepier parts of the country was something she decided to do. She shoved some things into her bag and hopped on a plane. And now here she was probably going to break her leg because she decided to take a night tour like a moron.

It was pretty though, she had to admit as she and the four other suckers crunched through dead leaves. Very Universal Horror. She could almost see Dwight Frye and Colin Clive digging up one of those old graves if she squinted right. In the distance she could see the large, sprawling church that looked like it belonged in Romania and not in New York State. The guide had said that the Ghost project was in residence. When he’d said that it had cemented her decision to go on this insane tour just in case she could catch a glimpse of the band. She’d loved their music and the whole mystique but hadn’t realized it was a REAL church of Satan until…well…there was the church. She’d never seen a concert in person either, but the videos she’d caught online were interesting. The current lead singer was apparently a sweetheart for a satanic pope. She could hear her elderly, right wing mother screeching about how just having that thought was going to send her to hell. God knew the list her family had was already long enough for what was wrong with her, what was one more thing.

Jen realized she’d lagged behind as she’d kept looking up at the church and hurried to catch up. Even though the guide wasn’t the best he had a flashlight, and she had no freaking idea where anything was around there. That extra 20 pounds she wanted to always lose was felt hard as she rejoined the group. “The church you see is of course part of the Satanic Church of Emeritus. I’m sure some of you are fans of the band Ghost and if you aren’t you can find out information about the church and the band through this website…” The tour guide literally rambled off a web address and Jen raised an eyebrow. Were they supposed to write that down in the dead of night?

They kept walking and the guide led them into another area of the cemetery, this one with large tombs and statues spread out along the grounds. This was obviously the more well to do section and Jennifer was awestruck by how beautiful it was, even if it was slightly crumbling. The moon was shining down brightly now, full and clear, so she could walk without too much risk of falling on her ass as she was want to do. Her Converse sneakers weren’t really made for uneven ground, but so far, she was doing okay. As the tour guide rambled on Jen pulled out her iPhone and started taking some pictures of the statues. The one of the grim reaper was wonderfully gothic and even had a skull carved inside the stone robes that made it up. She headed over to another area where the largest crypt sat with a giant letter E carved over an archway entrance that had rose bushes on either side. They were old bushes that had grown nearly as tall as the entrance. The flowers were large, red, and smelled amazing. She loved roses but even she was surprised at how big the thorns were on those plants. It was almost like they were there not for the flowers but for some sort of deterrent to keep people from trying to get in or maybe even vandalize the tomb. When she leaned over to take a whiff of one blood red bud, she noticed the sharp little daggers were half an inch long and nearly that thick.

Jen took a picture of the entrance, her eyes taking in more of the designs that could be seen in the stonework not covered by the plants. Sigils…inverted crosses…pentagrams and peeking down from the roof were even a couple of gargoyles. Ah…yeah…satanic church. She slipped her phone into her back pocked of her jeans and ran her fingers through her short red hair, cracking her stiffening neck and realized she should get back to the group. According to her phone and watch it was nearly midnight.

But when she turned around, she realized the boring tour guide and the tiny group were gone. “Did that dip wad just leave me?” She said aloud. God, he really did suck. She headed back the way she came and sure enough the cemetery was empty save for the graves and her. “Well…this is the start of every god damn horror movie I’ve ever seen.” She mumbled to herself. Jen realized she’d been doing that a lot more over the last year or so. But now it was getting to be a habit. Being alone so much you just sort of did it, maybe to remind yourself you had a voice.

With a heavy sigh she took out her phone and checked the battery. She was still at a good 80 percent, but the bad news was her cell service was nowhere to be found. “And now, your life as directed by Wes Craven.” She spoke. “Fuckery doo…okay…” She looked up and was thankful that the moon was still pretty bright. With a heavy sigh she headed out of the graveyard. Jennifer headed towards the direction she was fairly certain they had come from. There was…sort of a path through the trees. The starting point was down towards the bottom of the heavily treed hill where a parking lot sat, not really used. She’d been brought there by a van for the tour. If that ass left in the van before she got down, there she was going to set fire to something. Probably the van if she found it again with the idiot inside.

About twenty mins of walking later she crossed her arms in front of herself realizing her KISS Destroyer hoodie wasn’t near enough of a layer over her thin t-shirt. She was also realizing she was well and truly lost. “If I hear Ki ki ki ma ma ma at any moment I will crap myself.” She said through slightly chattering teeth. The moon decided it had done enough work for her and was now covered in black, oppressive clouds. Jen pulled her phone out and turned on the flashlight. Still no signal. She pondered what she’d done to piss off the universe. She came to a steep downgrade and carefully picked her way down. Luckily it wasn’t too bad for too long and evened out. Unfortunately it led to a thick patch of trees. Jen started praying to whoever was listening that there were no ticks or spiders around. Then she wanted to punch her own face for even thinking about ticks and spiders.

The phones light was barely helping due to the canopy of leaves and how close together everything was. After another few minutes though she heard something. It sounded like talking, movement. This didn’t look like it was near the parking lot though. Did lumberjacks work this late? Was this even a place lumberjacks would be? That made her remember how Dexter wound up ending and she got momentarily depressed. Then she heard the voices again. Well, people was a good thing, right? In the middle of the night in the woods. Jen realized caution might be a good idea.

She headed towards the voices, keeping her camera pointed to the ground and discovered the woods thinned out a bit here. There, in a tiny patch of cleared ground three men stood and one man was on his knees, hands tied behind his back. Jen’s eyes got wide as she saw the large gun in one of the men’s hands. The man on his knees was crying. “I swear to god Donnie…I didn’t want to do it. But they had pictures. I couldn’t…” The man on his knees sobbed. He was balding and looked like he was in his 60s. His face even from this distance was bruised and bloody.

“Shut the fuck up.” The one who was Donnie she assumed spoke harshly, kicking the man in the stomach and making him double over. “I don’t give a god damn about pictures. You sold us out. We’ve got a fuck ton of problems now. But we’re about to have less of one.” He spit on the man’s face and nodded to the other man with the gun. He was tall, unemotional, with a face as blank as a robot. His eyes were so dark they could have been black. He calmly raised the gun and shot the man in the head once and then in the back for good measure. The man fell to the ground in a heap.

Jen hadn’t even had time to react it had all happened so fast but in that moment when it hit her she stepped away in shock and horror, her foot cracking a twig and flashing her phone up towards them, the fucking light like a beacon. The murderers turned and looked straight at her. The one with the gun raised it and fired, but it missed her. And that’s all Jen needed to find the inner strength to sprint back the way she’d come.

“Get that bitch.” Donnie told Blake, the man with the gun and his partner Gary. “I’ll take care of this trash. Hurry the fuck up.”

Gary nodded, straightening the glasses on his head. He and Blake quickly moved towards where the witness had been. There was no way there was anyone else around. This spot was used specifically because no one ever came down there. They weren’t quiet running through the brush and trees. There was no need to be.

Jennifer was running like she never had before. Small branches slapped at her face and arms, and she nearly tripped three times. In her head from far away she thought about every idiot teenage girl who had tripped and died she’d made fun of in a slasher movie. “Sorry…” she thought as she cried. The crying was a problem and something she couldn’t stop or had control of. It was making it harder to breathe and she needed to breathe to run. Running was important as she scrambled up the now incline, her fingers digging into the dirt to make sure she didn’t slide back down. Where the fuck could she go? What the shit was she supposed to do?

She’d shoved her phone back into her pocket, not wanting the light to attract the two killers on her tail. She didn’t have service anyway even if she had a second to call the cops. She didn’t know anyone here. She was alone and it was dark, and she was going to die.

She broke through another barrier of trees, and she knew she had gone a different way than she’d come at that point in her scramble to get away. Jen tried to breathe, to calm her heart, but she felt like she was going to have a stroke. She glanced to her right and then her left, and that’s when she saw it. There was a gate, black wrought iron and it was open. She ran to it and glanced beyond it and realized the path led into part of the Emeritus church. The sprawling building loomed large above her suddenly. Well…the devil or death? Which did she want? Right then the devil was looking good. Jennifer quickly made her way down the pathway. There were little black iron solar lights that lit the stone walkway which was thankfully flat. Her legs were burning as bad as her lungs at this point.

The path led to two metal doors and Jen realized she may still be screwed if they were locked. She skidded to a halt and took a chance to look behind her. There was no one yet…but that didn’t mean anything. She took another breath and said a little prayer…not sure who might be answering them where she was trying to get into and grabbed the door handle. That’s when she heard the sounds of footsteps from far away, voices murmuring low. “Please please please…” she begged and pulled on the door handle. It swung open. She didn’t hesitate, she went in and pulled the door closed behind her.

Jen’s wide blue eyes glanced around the dimly lit hallway she found herself in. The air smelled of incense. It was cool inside the building and the sweat that had broken out during her run immediately started to get chilled and she shivered from a combination of that and pure fear. Her adrenaline was pumping. The men would figure out there was only one place she could have gone. She needed to hide. She turned right and moved quickly hoping not to run into anyone. Jen entered through another set of double doors, these not metal but stained dark wood. So far, she’d not seen anyone else and for that she was grateful. She just needed to hide away somewhere and think, just calm down and think. Maybe the church was empty…maybe they were on tour or something…

The double doors led to a short hallway that opened into what could only be called a small chapel. Though instead of a cross or a Jesus crucifixion scene in front of the pews there was a large statue of a very beautiful devil. His wings looked like they were carved out of black stone, maybe ebony or onyx though that would be a lot of onyx. The rest of him was marble. His horns wrapped backwards on a head covered in carved ringlets of hair like a really majestic goat. There was real red velvet draped over the statue whose right arm was raised, two fingers extended. His other hand was outstretched as if beckoning you. Jen was unnerved as she looked at it, the chill on her skin seemingly growing. Then she heard a door slam, and it pulled her out of wherever her mind was going.

The room smelled even stronger of incense and was lit with black candles and a low light from a red and clear crystal chandelier that hung from the ceiling. There were pews, the pulpit area and over on the far right what looked like a small, dark wood confessional. That was the only place she could really try to hide in she saw. She glanced back once hoping it was just some friendly neighborhood satanist that had closed a door and then moved quickly to the confessional. She opened the door and closed it quickly, ignoring the seat and sitting on the floor. She drew her knees up to her chin and felt the tears on her cheeks again, not able to stop them. Jen tried to breathe quietly, tried to calm down. They’d hear her sounding like a dying elephant if she didn’t get this under control. And that’s when the divider slid open making her jerk.

A softly accented voice spoke through the partition “Hello…hi?”

Jen realized there was a priest or someone on the other side…oh shit she’d dragged someone into this. She whispered as low as she could, realizing that the man couldn’t see her where she was hunkered on the floor. “I’m..down here…please…I just need to hide.”

“Sorella…” The man’s voice took on a note of concern. She glanced up and saw an eye looking through the partition. It was white as the ivory of the statue. It widened in surprise. “What is the matter dolce signora?” He asked her.

Jen swallowed thickly; how much should she say? She needed to hide. This guy could just as easily say “Here she is boys. Hail Satan.” But for some reason his voice made her think he wouldn’t. “There are….men…they’re after me. Please I just need to hide until they leave…they’ve got a gun…maybe more than one.” She had to warn him.

She saw a bit more of his face then as he leaned closer to the divider. It was dark but she could see him more clearly as he appeared to be studying her. Jen recognized him as the paints on his face came into view, the green eye and the white. Holy crap this was the guy. This was the lead of the band. And he was taking confessions? What the hell would satanic confessions deal with? And good god this was all really happening to her. A wave of nausea came over her and she had to fight the bile coming up her throat.

“Signora, are you hurt? Have they harmed you?” He asked her gently.

Jennifer shook her head. “No…no…I just need to hide.”

She rested her forehead on her knees. Italian…he was speaking Italian mixed with English. That’s what the accent was. It just kept becoming more surreal. She remembered the accent from the concert videos. He didn’t have it when he sang. But he had it when he was talking to the audience.

She heard it then, the door opening to the chapel. Footsteps. Two sets of them. It was them. It had to be them. She saw the dual-colored eyes glance up at the sound and she started shaking. Well, this was it…spur of the moment decisions have led you to a satanic church and dying horribly. Great job girl. Here lies Jennifer Travers…she fucked up a lot. Only she wouldn’t have a tombstone, it would be a shallow grave in the woods where she’d end up feeding a group of feral badgers with her rotting corpse. Maybe they would be cute badgers. Fuck.

He looked back down at her. “Signora,” he whispered softly, “Stay here, do not make a noise, si?”

Jen nodded, realizing she was trusting a complete stranger with her life at this point. What else could she do?

Blake and Gary glanced around the chapel, starting to move through the pews, looking for where the woman could have gone. Blake glanced at the statue of Lucifer and paused, feeling like the thing was watching them. He knew what the place was, but he’d not been inside. Gary touched his shoulder and he nearly jumped. He pointed towards the confessional booth and nodded. They started heading that way when the door to the priests side opened.

Out stepped a man in black robes with gold and blue satin accents. Golden upside-down crosses where stitched into the fabric. He wasn’t tall, but he had a presence that was only made more intense by the fact his face was painted like a stylized skull. His brown hair was brushed back from his face, greying at the temples with thin lines on his face showing he wasn’t exactly a young man anymore. Blake was weirded out though by the eyes when he saw them. Ringed in the black makeup they were different colors. One green, one white, both of them staring at him and Gary in a way that made him as unnerved as the devil statue.

“Benvenuti Fratelli,” the man said, his black gloved hands raised, pressed together and giving a little bow. “I am Papa Emeritus the 4th…are you here for confession?” He asked them, one brow raised. “I was just getting ready to lock up for the night.”

Blake looked at Gary. Gary was the talker. He glanced at the strange man shaking his head. “No we’re not here to confess. We’re looking for someone. Anyone else come through this way? Anyone try to break in?”

Copia Emeritus lowered his hands while studying the two men in front of him. Something in them reeked of malice and he could sense it. It was part and parcel of being a Papa. You knew who to protect your flock from when you were in a church like theirs. He wouldn’t have needed to hear the terrified sorella in the confessional’s words to know these two were dangerous. He saw the bulky outline of the gun in a holster beneath the tall ones jacket. He’d seen enough crime films and series to know what to look for when it came to that too.

He pursed his lips. “It’s not really possible to break in here. All are welcome at our church.” Copia walked closer to the men, away from the hiding place of the woman and making sure their eyes followed him. “Even you signories if you wish to join us.”

Gary gave a cold smile. “We’re not really the church going type.” He replied.

Copia nodded, returning the smile with as much of a chilly demeanor as the man in front of him. “Well, that is too bad, si? Perhaps someday.” He gave a slight shrug. “But as I said, I am getting ready to lock up for the night.”

The double doors opened then, as if on cue and in walked three figures in all black, silver matching masks on their faces, each a devil with no eyes. One was bigger than the others but all three looked as though they could bench press a truck. Copia glanced over “Ah, tempismo perfetto.” He turned to the new arrivals. “These gentlemen were just leaving, would you be so kind as to as to show them out? Grazie.” With a graceful wave of his hand he motioned for the two men to head towards the doors.

Blake looked at Gary and Gary gave a subtle shake of his head. He knew she was here somewhere. There was nowhere else she could have gone. But they couldn’t do anything right now…there were too many people, and it would be too big a mess. And the silver masked figures were making the hair raise on the back of his neck. He moved and Blake followed him as they walked out. Gary turned to the painted faced freak. “We might stop back now that you mention it.”

Copia raised a brow. “Of course, as I said all are welcome. We’d love to have you.” He gave him another slight bow as they walked out into the hallway, the doors closing behind them, his smile making his face look even more skull like for a moment.

Gary narrowed his eyes, trying to ignore the weird feeling creeping up his spine at the entire group of freaks. Donnie wouldn’t be happy about losing the woman, but then again…he knew she wasn’t really lost. She was here somewhere in the freak house. He followed Blake and the three silver masked weirdos.

When the doors closed behind them Copia moved to slide the lock in place. He took a breath and let it out slowly. He hadn’t expected a confrontation like that tonight. Nor had he expected a frightened woman cowering in his confessional. He needed to find out what had happened, the whole story. And he needed to make sure the lady was okay.

Copia very slowly opened the door to the confessional area and saw her with her head laying on her knees still, shaking like a leaf. She looked up suddenly and he saw the tear streaks on her face. Her face has a few cuts and marks on it from dirt. Her knees and hands were covered in it as well. Her blue eyes were the color of the satin on his robes, but they were rimmed in red from her tears. They were wide and terrified as they looked up at him.

The Papa crouched down, taking a knee next to her and held out a gloved hand. “Cara, they are gone. You are safe here.” He said softly. She was scared and looked at any moment she’d try to bolt away. He couldn’t have her doing that since the safest place she could be right then was inside the church. “I’m Papa Emeritus the 4th….but you can call me Copia.” He gave her a small smile.

She didn’t seem to be convinced yet that she was actually safe with him. He noticed the front of her hoodie and gave a slight nod, his smile growing, “Ah, you are a fan of singers in makeup, si?”

Jennifer realized what he was talking about. The irony was actually funny as she took a breath and wiped her eyes. “Yeah…yes…I grew up listening to them.”

Copia nodded. “I did as well.” He decided this was working, get her mind on something else. “Who was your favorite cara?”

Jen found her breathing was getting easier. She wasn’t trying to gulp air into lungs that didn’t want to work. “Uh…I always liked The Starchild…but The Demon was great…he was a vampire first though.” Rattling off Kiss trivia…she’d nearly been shot, and she was talking about Gene Simmons and spewing blood.

The Papa nodded, “Well, due to my position I must go with The Demon as a personal favorite, eh? But The Starchild has a voice…” Here he placed two fingers to his lips and did an air kiss. “Bellissimo.”

Jennifer laughed…she actually laughed. Just another surreal experience in a night filled with them “I guess you would be team demon.”

“Si, I would.” He reached closer to her with his hand, “Cara, would you like to go somewhere more comfortable than the floor?”

She nodded then and he helped her to stand. Her legs were sore, and she was glad he offered her a helping hand. She nearly stumbled but he steadied her. “Sorry…I’m…I ran up the hill and it wasn’t great.” She let go of his hand and looked at her own, covered in dirt and cuts from clawing up it.

Copia saw the state of her more clearly now. It was obvious she’d been through an ordeal already. She was still shaking though she’d calmed down some. “I can imagine.” He said, “May I have your name?” He asked her.

“Jennifer…Jen…I’m…” She felt a little woozy. “I’m…okay…I think I may need to sit down.”

Copia took her arm. “Jennifer you are safe here as I said. We are a haven for those in need and trouble.” He led her over to one of the pews. “Here, allow me to take your bag.” Jen slid the straps off her shoulders and watched Copia place it next to her. She sat down on the cushioned seat.

Copia examined her a bit closer. She was pale, very pale. He realized whatever had happened she was going into or was already in shock. “Jennifer,” he said her name and she glanced up at him. “Can you tell me what happened?”

Jen wanted to tell him. She needed to tell someone and the nice guy in the skull make up was right there. But when she started thinking about it her lungs started to ache. “They…they killed…oh god they killed that guy…” She managed to get out.

Copia’s eyes widened. Oh Dark Lord…she’d witnessed a murder? “You saw this happen cara?” He asked, sitting down next to her.

She shook her head yes. “They shot him…twice. I…I couldn’t do anything it happened so fast.” She turned and looked at him. “They saw me and they…they shot at me. And I ran.” Her voice was breaking, she couldn’t breathe as the image of the man’s head basically exploding came to her unbidden. She was trembling so hard that she thought she was going to break apart. But she couldn’t stop it, she tried but she couldn’t.

Suddenly she stood up and started backing away from the nice satanist. She’d just told him what had happened. “I’m…I shouldn’t have…” She was rambling and Jen found herself growing dizzy. They’d want to kill him too now, right? She’d just signed this rock stars death warrant, hadn’t she? The nice devil guy with the pretty green eye. Oh god there were black spots in front of her.

Copia stood up and moved close to her. He’d been to enough concerts to tell when someone was about to collapse from heat exhaustion or something else. And right then she was having a hell of a panic attack, something he was personally familiar with. “Jennifer, you’re okay…it’s okay…” He moved closer to her slowly.

“No…no…not…okay…” Oh god, she couldn’t feel her legs. The blood rushed from her head, and she felt herself buckling. She started to hit the floor and felt arms catching her, heard the rustling of fabric as she was caught before she could. The scent of incense was stronger than before. She glanced up and through a haze she saw a skull staring down at her and three silver-headed demons. Before she blacked out completely, she realized…she felt safe.

TRANSLATIONS: Benvenuti Fratelli - Welcome Brothers Sorella - Sister Cara - Dear Si - Yes Signora - Lady

[growingstories]

Oscar

Oscar, a charismatic male model with chiseled features and a perfect physique, lived a life most people only dreamt of. He jetted around the world for his work, attending glamorous parties and rubbing shoulders with the elite. On one such occasion, at a lavish gathering in Paris, he caught the eye of a beautiful woman named Julia. It was love at first sight for both of them.

Fueled by their passion, Oscar and Julia quickly got married. Their life was a whirlwind of sex, excitement, and social engagements. Oscar's job started to decline as he crossed the threshold of 30, but he didn't mind too much. He reveled in the newfound relaxation and indulged in delicious treats, bidding a temporary farewell to his six-pack abs. Julia didn't mind; she loved him just the way he was.

As time went on, Oscar's life took a new turn. Julia's family was wealthy and demanding, often hosting extravagant social gatherings that they were obliged to attend. Oscar's modeling gigs became few and far between, and he found solace in the bliss of domesticity and delicious meals. Slowly, his toned physique slipped away as he settled into a comfortable routine.

The couple's joy multiplied when Julia fell pregnant. During her difficult pregnancy, Oscar stood by her side, ensuring she was well taken care of. However, her cravings also affected him, and both he and Julia found solace in indulging in snacks and treats together. Oscar's once-fit body gradually began to lose its shape, a testament to the love and care he had for his wife and unborn child.

When their beautiful baby girl arrived, Oscar's heart swelled with pride. He became an attentive and loving father, taking his princess everywhere he went. But in the whirlwind of parenthood, Oscar's focus shifted from himself to his daughter, leading to even more snacking and fewer workouts. Meanwhile, Julia bounced back to her pre-pregnancy shape, and their passionate moments between the sheets became more frequent.

As fate would have it, Julia fell pregnant again, and Oscar's weight gain intensified during this second difficult pregnancy. Enduring months of bed rest, Oscar ate to comfort himself and support his wife through these trying times. Though he yearned to regain his once-impressive physique, the weight seemed to pile on with each passing day. However, the birth of their healthy son brought immense joy to their lives, overshadowing any concerns about their physical appearances.

With a new nanny to help care for their children, Oscar discovered a newfound freedom and boredom. He decided to enroll in cooking classes to fill his time. However, his ambition in the kitchen began to affect his waistline. Lavish meals became a regular occurrence, and Oscar didn't hold back when it came to indulging in his culinary creations.

Turning 40 brought with it a sense of discontentment for Oscar. He looked in the mirror and realized how much he had let himself go. Desperate to regain his former glory, he reconnected with old friends who were still in the world of modeling. However, frustration, partying, and excessive drinking only added to his weight gain, pushing him further away from his goals.

As Oscar's children slowly entered puberty, he found himself relaxing once again. He and Julia embarked on numerous vacations, enjoying the constant flow of food and drinks on beach beds. Despite the weight he had gained over the years, Oscar had learned to love himself and his life. Happiness radiated from within as he let go of societal expectations and embraced the imperfect beauty of his world.

[spookypaleandfat]

my 50 reasons

1. i’ve hated my body since i was a kid. i can do something about that right now and get my body to a place where i can love it

2. no more crying in change rooms because i can’t fit into things

3. go into skinny girl shops

4. my old rings will fit me again

5. flat stomach

6. no more muffin tops

7. being a fat emo makes me look ridiculous. emo and gothic clothing look so much better skinny

8. my friends won’t call me “thunder thighs” anymore

9. i’ll be skinnier than all my friends

10. men will approach me

11. most boys want thin girlfriends so if i want a bf i need to be skinny

12. people can pick me up easily

13. i can sit on people’s laps without worrying about crushing them

14. my family will be so envious

15. a few people in school who were fat are now skinny and i can be like them

16. people are nicer if you’re skinny

17. i can eat without being judged

18. those pants i bought years ago will finally fit

19. less sweat

20. less sweat = less body odour

21. it’ll be easier to shower/shave/moisturise

22. i’ll be well hydrated

23. i can show off my body in small bikinis rather than having to cover up with high waisted bottoms or board shorts

24. NO MORE CHAFING

25. the crotch area in my jeans won’t disintegrate from my thighs constantly rubbing

26. thigh gap

27. no bingo arms

28. fit more comfortably in seats with armrests

29. take up less space

30. any hair length will complement me

31. my nails will look more natural and suited for slender fingers

32. no one will think i wear all black to look skinnier bc i’ll already be skinny

33. potentially lose my period

34. practice my self-control & discipline

35. “one size fits all” will either fit me or will be too big

36. hearing everyone’s reactions to my weight “how did you do it?” “you look amazing” “i didn’t even recognise you!”

37. people will envy me

38. more likely to get my dream job at a smaller weight

39. i can confidently post photos online

40. no more double chin

41. thigh-high socks/boots will actually fit my legs

42. retail workers at cute stores won’t judge me for entering their shop bc i’m obviously going to fit their sizes

43. more options at the op shops

44. going on holidays won’t be embarrassing and i can fully enjoy myself

45. be desirable

46. i’ll be someone’s thinspo

47. being dainty and delicate and fragile

48. save so much money from not overbuying snack foods

49. flirting will be real and not pity or a joke

50. i will be perfect.

[eatmangoesnekkid]

Just approved the chapter “How to Grow a Phat Ass that Has Little to No Cellulite?” I wrote this chapter with a lot of tenderness in my heart because I didn’t want any reader to think that I thought cellulite was bad or wrong in any kind of Cosmopolitan magazine, patriarchal standards of beauty, stay-forever-young way. I am a deeply indigenous and raw spirit in the modern world and I just don’t live in those sort of realities. And I wholeheartedly reject the unreleastic depictions of the adult female form.

I have always thought that having cellulite was grown woman juicy energy. The body of every female lover I have had was decorated with cellulite. My entire female line had or has cellulite. Big asses and big cute booty cellulite dimples run in my family therefore I’m the last person who would ever think that having cellulite is unattractive.

I used to have cellulite too and I share how I unconsciously got rid of my cellulite without trying. With that, I do want to be clear that cellulite is toxins in the tissues, and some women and other female bodied people can have cellulite from as early as 10 years old. Some of our little girls come into this world heavy in their spirit from birth, carried over from other life times, and it will nestled down into their young tissues.

Tapping into subtle energy is how we thrive in the new earth. Cords have to be cut and we have the lighten up the density. Even if you have a phat ass or desire to have one, when you bring more light to your body, the cellulite will naturally fall away and I teach you how in a chapter that includes beautiful pictures of my body with cellulite that no longer exists today.

One day I looked at my naked body and saw that all traces of cellulite were gone. I was 45 years old by the way and regenerating. I used to have cellulite on the front and back on my thighs and all over my ass. Maybe you can see it a little in this picture, but it was far more visible in person. It was gorgeous! But ridding the body of toxins regenerates our tissues and there is nothing we can do to stop it. I had two cycles with cellulite —one in my late 20s that dissolved and another cycle in my late 30s and early 40s that also dissolved.

And no losing weight doesn’t make cellulite go away. You have to go down and inside your body system in very simple ways. —India Ame’ye

Two things I taught my body to do over the years - to hold more(sun) light i.e darken up by strengthening my melanin and to get rid to toxins, to let go the old.