#how the world is cruel

[demigods-posts]

hearing annabeth express genuine confusion at the existence of disney world was incredibly heartbreaking. but it raised a good point about just how unprepared she was for a life outside of camp. it makes me wonder how she settled into a public school environment after training as a child soldier for five years straight. i question what her first active shooter drill was like and if the teachers noticed how prepared she seemed for life or death situations in comparison to her english homework. i wonder how she socialized with kids her age, or if she mostly kept to herself because the anxiety of making a misstep in social situation and risk being neglected was near crippling. i think of the quiet moments at home during bedtime ruined by the slightest movement outside and her father finding her keeping watch outside her brothers' bedroom at three in the morning. how heartbreaking is it that annabeth can't find true solace in any environment she's in?

[cigarettefawn]

because you’re young

you’re wild

you’re free

you’re dancing circles around me

you’re fucking crazy

[steddieas-shegoes]

Steve and Eddie go through the whole adoption process in 1996, despite how difficult it was to find somewhere willing to help them at all and despite their conflicted feelings on adoption.

The way they saw it though, providing a loving home for a child who needed one was better than the alternative. Eddie had enough experience with temporary foster homes to know stability was better than constant moving and questionable foster parents.

They get a foster placement almost immediately, a six year old girl named Amelia. She’s quiet, but not in a way that worries them. She’s very focused, and enjoys going to school more than any regular children’s hobbies. Neither of them know what to do with that other than keep encouraging it.

She stays for months, months turn into a year, and the agency finally gives them the go ahead to complete the adoption process.

But they don’t do anything without talking to Amelia.

She’s happy there, her therapist signs off on it immediately and explains that Amelia has shown more personality development and less signs of trauma with them than she had even living at home. Not to mention they actually brought her to appointments, unlike her previous guardians.

To celebrate, they throw a party with all their friends and family and tell Amelia she can invite anyone from school she wants. She invites everyone.

Turns out their daughter is a social butterfly and is friends with everyone.

At the party, Eddie pulls out his guitar, plays a bunch of popular kid-friendly songs after a very scathing look from Steve as a reminder to behave.

Amelia walks over to him after a few songs, on a sugar high like he’d never seen on her before, and asks to play the guitar.

He’s hesitant, but not because he’s still protective of his guitars, more because he doesn’t want her to embarrass herself in front of her friends. Kids are cruel, even and especially at seven, and the last thing he wants is this to be the thing that kids talk about for the next ten years.

She sits on the couch and holds it, arranging her fingers…correctly. Eddie watches.

Steve is watching from across the room.

She starts strumming, very quietly at first, not as confident as she’d been a moment ago. And then she starts really playing.

It’s one of the songs Eddie wrote. He played it for the last four months nonstop as he perfected it, and she’d apparently been watching.

Eddie’s jaw is on the floor and he quickly looks over to Steve, who has a similar look of surprise on his face.

He doesn’t interrupt her. She makes it through the entire song.

She looks up.

“When did you learn to play guitar?” Eddie asks.

“When I was watching you.”

“But have you played before tonight?”

Amelia shook her head, looking down. “Didn’t wanna touch it without asking.”

Eddie pulls the guitar from her hands and sets it aside, then pulls her into his lap and hugs her. Steve sits down on the couch next to them, hand on her back.

“You can always ask, sweetie. And if you’re this interested and this natural, we can buy you your own guitar if you want. I didn’t think you were interested in playing.”

“I wanna be like you,” Amelia admitted against his shoulder.

Eddie was done for. He looked at Steve, half-panicked, trying not to cry in front of these people, but Steve wasn’t faring any better.

“Then we can go get you a guitar tomorrow. You can get your own picks, too. They might even have purple ones.”

“Can I have red? Like yours?”

“Of course, sweetie.”

It only took them two days after that to realize she could play by ear, just like Eddie.

And then it only took another day after that to realize she had taught herself to read music too.

They spent hours and hours every week playing together while Steve cooked dinner or checked her homework or just watched them.

When Eddie’s band decided to record another album and go on tour when Amelia was 12, Eddie insisted that she get to be on it.

She ended up helping write one of their songs, played on the track on the album, and with a lot of work, convinced Steve to let them homeschool her for the entire 8 months they’d be on tour so she could perform on stage with her dad.

“Can’t believe she’s not even genetically yours. Are you sure you didn’t have an affair?” Steve asked the night before they were leaving for Europe.

“When would I have had an affair? I came back to the tour bus or hotel with you every single night,” Eddie kissed him softly. “She’s amazing, huh?”

“She is. What happens when she wants to be a full blown rockstar like her dad too?”

“Then we make sure she’s protected and has good people around her like I have. She could be a rockstar easily. She’s got the talent and the presence,” Eddie smiled. “And she’s got me to make sure no one takes advantage of her. But she’s only 12. We’ve got time to worry about that later.”

“You’re bringing her onstage every single night all over the world for the next eight months, baby. I think later is now.”

Eddie sighed. “She’s gonna blow them all away. I’m proud of her. Let’s focus on that for now.”

And she did blow everyone away. The fans and the media had nothing but good things to say, and Steve didn’t have to go into overprotective mom mode at all until she was 15 and signing a record deal of her own.

But between Eddie and him, the entire industry knew better than to fuck with her or them.

They made rules, of course. School still came first, she still had required family events to be at, she still had regular friends at home. She wasn’t allowed at any parties, not even the events for award ceremonies.

But she didn’t really need those rules. She had no interest in parties or abandoning her friends or family, and she was a straight A student who still had hopes of getting into Brown for Journalism like her Aunt Nancy. She had a passion for music and wanted to share it, but not at the cost of the rest of her life.

And Eddie and Steve did everything they could to make sure she got to have everything. That’s what they’d promised her from day one.

[nellasbookplanet]

In the wake of FCG' fate I've been thinking about death in ttrpgs, and how it kind of exists on three levels:

There’s the gameplay level, where it only makes sense for a combat-heavy, pc-based game to have a tool for resurrection because the characters are going to die a lot and players get attached to them and their plotlines.

Then there’s the narrative level, where you sort of need permanent death on occasion so as not to lose all tension and realism. On this level, sometimes the player will let their character remain dead because they find it more interesting despite there being options of resurrection, or maybe the dice simply won’t allow the resurrection to succeed.

Then, of course, there’s the in-universe level, which is the one that really twists my mind. This is a world where actual resurrection of the actual dead is entirely obtainable, often without any ill effects (I mean, they'll be traumatized, but unless you ask a necromancer to do the resurrection they won’t come back as a zombie or vampire or otherwise wrong). It’s so normal that many adventurers will have gone through it multiple times. Like, imagine actually living in a world where all that keeps you from getting a missing loved one back is the funds to buy a diamond and hire a cleric. As viewers we felt that of course Pike should bring Laudna, a complete stranger, back when asked, but how often does she get this question? How many parents have come and begged her to return their child to them? How many lovers lost but still within reach? When and how does she decide who she saves and who she doesn’t?

From this perspective, I feel like every other adventurer should have the motive/backstory of 'I lost a loved one and am working to obtain the level of power/wealth to get them back'. But of course this is a game, and resurrection is just a game mechanic meant to be practically useful.

Anyway. A story-based actual play kind of has to find a way to balance these three levels. From a narrative perspective letting FCG remain dead makes sense, respects their sacrifice, and ends their arc on a highlight. From a gameplay level it is possible to bring them back but a lot more complicated than a simple revivify. But on an in-universe level, when do you decide if you should let someone remain dead or not? Is the party selfish if they don’t choose to pursue his resurrection the way they did for Laudna? Do they even know, as characters, that it’s technically possible to save someone who's been blown to smithereens? Back in campaign 2, the moment the m9 gained access to higher level resurrection they went to get Molly back (and only failed because his body had been taken back by Lucien). At the end of c1, half the party were in denial about Vax and still looking for ways to save him, because they had always been able to before (and had the game continued longer it wouldn’t have surprised me had they found a way). Deanna was brought back decades after her death (and was kind of fucked up because of it). Bringing someone back could be saving them, showing them just how loved and appreciated they are. Or it could be saving you, forcing someone back from rest and peace into a world that's kept moving without them because you can’t handle the guilt of knowing you let them stay gone when you didn’t have to. How do you know? How would you ever know?

[napping-sapphic]

Ugh this sucks i should be making you snacks and gently kissing you on the head instead

[maingh0st]

not to be morbid but I'm thinking about Madoc soaking his cap in the blood of the murdered Duarte parents and like. I'm not a scientist, but wouldn't that make things absolutely wack from a forensics standpoint? imagine that you're investigating a double-murder triple-kidnapping (the kind of case that goes down in true crime history), and you're running every test you can possibly think of because the trail has gone cold as ice, and—what's that? there's traces of.... a bunch of other people's blood?? in the murder victims' blood???

again I am neither scientist nor detective but soaking a cap crusted with the blood of all your past enemies into a pool of fresh blood has to leave a trace, right?????

[calmodus]

depression X depression. what ever.

[extraaa-30]

remember, good omens fandom:

the idea of a creator disappointing us isn't new.

it hurts, for sure, to realize the one who created something we love may actually be shittier than we thought. that while we trusted them to play their unknowable games ("wait and see...") they were in fact at best as flawed as anyone else and at worst a mf predator.

maybe we find it hard to trust that creator ever again.

but that's okay. because honestly, the creation doesn't belong to them anymore. it hasn't for a while.

what they created belongs to earth.

[telanadasvhenan]

you see wolf & Deer symbolism and go predator & prey, I see pride & wisdom parallels, we are not the same

[pokimoko]

The fact that Main-verse Ooo is as good and as kind as it is (relative to the other universes shown so far, at least, it's obviously not perfect) all because of the same character that starts off as the OG series' antagonist, the person we were made to see as the bad guy (albeit an often ineffectual one) for several seasons, is making me lose my mind.

Imagine finding out the guy you spent your childhood beating up and saving princesses from is in fact a driving catalyst behind you being able to exist, and not only exist but also live in a world that knows what kindness is. All because that man, the same man who you've witnessed do terrible things, once met a little girl and taught her how to be good.

Simon's story really shows us that even if you lose your way and forget how it is to be good yourself, the world keeps the memory for you. That act of love Simon showed Marcy by protecting her and seeing her as more than the monster she thought herself to be created ripples upon ripples, small at first but eventually enough to help give their wreckage of a world—a world that easily could have been forsaken, its goodness overlooked because of its inhospitable remains—a chance to grow into something beautiful. Because of those very same ripples Simon created, the people of Ooo grew up in a world where they know enough about kindness that they were able and willing to spare the 'bad guy' some, to see beyond the wreckage and allow him to grow too.

In saving Marceline, Simon helped to not only to save the world, but also himself.

[ollylotl]

hey guys youre not gonna believe this but... women.

[theplatinumcritter]

People saying they'll be an Imogen apologist bro I'm about to become an Orym apologist this man fucking earned wanting to bathe on the blood of his enemies. Let him be angry. Let him call what he wants to do revenge straight up. Let him snap. Let him go apeshit and stop being nice. Let him want Otohan Thull to fear him. Hell I don't care he doesn't have the stats let him go barbarian if necessary.

Let the halfling make the wolrd burn cause others have made his world burn too many times.

[alackofghosts]

fighting for my life trying to find a dawntrail fit for him

[ministarfruit]

having normal thoughts about the demon king today

[moinsbienquekaworu]

2023 edition under the readmore! It's been almost a year but I didn't want to wait like, 4 days to post this exactly on the aniversary haha. I hope I make this a tradition it's very fun. Once again, don't like don't look, I'm going to talk about what I ship and there's still stuff most people don't like, on top of me being a nerd about stats. This is your fair warning, leave now while you still can, I was considerate with my readmore.

First, you can tell I actually learnt how to use spreadsheets, look at how beautiful this is <3 I changed the colours to make them somewhat relevant to the folder, though it didn't always work out super well.

The interesting stuff is that I added two folders, James Bond and Venom, which is normal and we knew that (I knew it because I've been going insane about these two things, you knew it because if you're reading this you like me and you've seen me going insane about these things on here recently). What's surprising is the absolutely batshit crazy quantity of Venom fic in that folder. I think I missed one that's hanging out in the misc folder but 142?? I've been reading fic for that fandom since the 8th of may! This is what happens when you download every fic you read til the end. A little insane. I'm having fun with it though so y'know. Compared to that the 57 James Bond/00Q fics are a little sad, especially if you take into account there's ~twice as much 00Q as there is Symbrock on AO3. In any case, those are the newcomers!

You can also tell Obikin still has a death grip on me, +132 fics is really impressive! That doubled the size of the Obikin folder! The SW folder also doubled but it's less impressive when you start out at 20 fics lol/ I sorted some of it and a fair part of that +20 is me scouring the Quiobiani tag haha. What I've also been reading is smut, it seems, though +46 is reasonable for a whole year. I think that folder is the one that's going to be growing at a steady but constant rate, because I always end up in the mood for some smut at some point or another. The OFMD influx is me falling back into it and getting into Steddy Hands for my presentation on queerbaiting and how OFMD is great.

I think it's funny that even though I've been reading a lot of other stuff Snarry is STILL on top of that list too. Like you can really tell who had an impact on my life with those numbers. A little sad that Obikin is most likely going to get ahead of it really soon though :( I mean I love Obikin, I didn't buy the zine for nothing (can't wait for it to arrive oh god) but Snarry was my adolescence! These two mean a lot to me even if I'm rarely in the mood for them now! Obikin rewired my brain but Snarry is like. The foundations of my person. Who would I be without them.

Anyway those were the stats, in a year I read at least 500 fics, and once I'm done here I will be going right back to work scouring the Symbrock tag. I really really want to record the length and tags to have actual stats (ie x number of omegaverse, x number of soulmate fic, how many words I read, etc) but it would be SO SO LONG and time consuming so I will not. Sucks though it would be great. See you next year!

And I did the stats! I'm absurdly proud of my little digital fanfic library but it's basically a history of the fanfic I've been reading since I discovered fandom, so I'm putting the graph and more explanations under the readmore, in case you don't care/don't want to see which weird ships I like/used to like (since I won't be tagging the post because I don't want that in the general tags). Proceed at your own risk!

Okay! So. First off, I've had that collection for almost five years now I'd say, I don't have the oldest dates but that's when I started discovering fandom. I started downloading fics to be able to read on my phone even when I didn't have an internet connection (and downloading fics from FFNet wasn't the easiest), and then when I started using AO3 I thought I'd get the fics I liked in case they disappeared or something. They're all epubs and I can make annotations in my ereader app, which is also pretty cool (my 'copies' of Cambiare Podentes or Pacify are full of notes from multiple rereadings throughout the years and that's very fun) In total I have 1311, which is a respectable number I think.

All the smaller folders - anything 15 fics or less - are mostly old fandoms for which I never read a lot of fic. There are separate Harry Potter and Star Wars folders because those are for gen fics and the ship folders are for, well, ship fics. Fandoms like Sherlock, OFMD or Gravity Falls don't have separate ship folders because they're either 90% ship or gen fics, and a folder for a few gen/ship fics would be useless. The 'originales' folders are original fic, with a PWP variant because sometimes you want to peruse the SFW folder and not the smut one or vice-versa. The older folders are probably the Drarry or Snarry ones, as well as the Sherlock and the Originales ones, because they're the ones with fics in french in them and I stopped reading fic in french years ago to pivot entirely to english.

As for analysing this: I knew what the results would look like, because 1) it's my collection I know what I read and download and 2) I regularly sort the fics I download in those folders, and every time I check the numbers just as a curiosity, but there still was a surprise or two. Notably, the OFMD folder compared to the Obikin folder, because I started reading OFMD fics literally less than a month ago (may 11 to be precise) but I've been reading Obikin fics for close to a year now. Also now that I'm thinking about it my numbers are wrong I know I put a gen fic in the Obikin folder and I didn't go back to put it in its proper folder yet, so it really is the same number of fics, which I wasn't expecting. I also keep thinking the Gravity Falls and Drarry folders are going to be bigger, but no, they're not (especially not the Drarry one, I stopped shipping that and reading fic for it years ago when I got into Snarry) Obviously this makes my OTPs clear, they're the ones I have more fics for (the Sherlock folder is mostly Johnlock and the OFMD one is mostly Blackbonnet, of course). I do find it funny I have more original smut fics than Tomarry and Harrymort combined, but that makes sense too. I gotta say, I have no idea what all the HP gen fics are, because that's a fandom I read mostly ship fics for and almost nothing else, so I don't know where those came from, as opposed to the SW ones (it's because I like fluffy Jedi bonding stuff). The Snarry folder wins - well, everything, but more specifically on top of having the most fics in it, I know without needing to check that it's the one with the most words in it, because it's the one with the most longfics in it: if you just count Pacify and Cambiare Podentes that's already a good million two hundred words, and then there's the fics I have doubles of, all the longfics...

By the way this is the wrong place to put it but I find it fascinating how different fandoms write different formats: I can give you like, 2-3 Obikin long chaptered fics, same with Kylux (most of which I didn't read because they weren't my style, sorry that one aviator Kylux and Lex Talionis I just can't) but for Johnlock or Snarry I could give you a list and still forget some I've read. I don't know if it's the size of the fandom or the age or something but that's fascinating. If that wasn't so long a process and it was useful, I'd write down all the fics I have, their titles and wordcount and fandom, that could be really interesting... but only for me because that would be pretty biased. I mean, I tend to gravitate towards longfics and that's the fics I'm more likely to download, so yeah.

Anyway I think that was a nice ramble, if someone read all this I love you, when's the marriage?

[atlantis-just-drowned]

A/N: This is kinda hurt/comfort? DCA x reader, can be read as romantic or platonic. TW for The Entire World, literally (might be overwhelming), also panic attack for the bois :(

The DCA discovering the Internet for the first time

Please reblog to show support! Likes don't boost posts on Tumblr :(

Masterlist

It was an accident. No, really, it was!

How could they have been aware of what would happen? Never would he have done such a thing, if he has known the consequences…

Or maybe he would have done it anyway. They weren’t so sure, now.

Sun and Moon had been curious. Such a funny trait of humankind, implemented in their processor since the very moment they first gained consciousness. They were a learning AI after all! Meant to always process more and more data, information, new situations giving way to new questions, with each answer urging them to ask more, know more, see more, learn more.

The Daycare was so, oh, so small. Limited, a restricted little area, a flask of water in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Limited, they were so limited! Hindered by Faz Co. censored network and how little contact they had with human adults, with the outside world!

They were curious! Curious about all the different colours the sky could be (here it was always only blue! How boring! How limited!) and all the different sorts of flowers and how many species of animals there was. And what did the real stars looked like. How many were there, in the real sky? Here, there was 152! They had counted them! So, so so many time.

They needed to learn more. They had been desperate for something new, for so long.

And then today, something has happened.

You had left to get yourself some food for your night shift (so very important! Humans needed food, always, to stuff their organic belly full with delicious food that they always wondered the taste of), the computer you had been working at was still powered and of course it wasn’t unusual of you to leave it running while you left for a quick trip outside of the daycare, but you had left something else.

A cable.

An USB port that he saw you use to transfer informations before. And Sun knew – he knew, with a 99.98% of certainty – that those computers were connected to the internet. Something he has never experienced before. With absolutely no limitation in term of subjects, sources, and contents.

Freedom. Answers.

Something they craved for.

He couldn’t resist the temptation. It’s almost like you had left it here on purpose, the other side of the cable still connected to the device, ready for them to plug it in their USB port.

Sun felt like a criminal approaching the security desk. But Moon was urging him in their shared headspace to move faster, they could come back any moment and this might be our one and only chance to experience the outside world at all.

He contemplated the small cable between his fingers (so small! Holding such a great power!), before slowly – carefully – approaching it from the back of their faceplate. He didn’t want to risk making a bad movement, what if he hurt themselves? Or worse? What if he damaged the material? Gently, so cautiously connecting it to their processor.

They felt the jolt of a new device being paired.

And then.

They stilled.

Their mind exploded.

Figuratively at least – they hoped. So many new was projected into their metallic brain that they weren’t certain a few circuits wouldn’t melt from the overwhelming amount of things.

Everything was here.

There were fireworks. Bombs. Smiles. Tears. Forest fires. Tsunamis. Newborn babies, genocides, millennia-old forests hidden on the other side of the world, giraffes and elephants and lions chasing buffaloes, and turtles choking on plastic bags. Continents. Shores of white sand and snow falling on top of vast mountains. Humans extracting each others from burning buildings. Hills of wild grass and deserts. Slaves, deportees. Creatures living at the deep end of the dark and cold ocean and in acidic ponds of water. Children climbing up trees, high-speed crashes, murderers, Christmas presents, traditions. Islands and volcanoes. Incurable diseases, hemorrhages, mothers grieving their sons. Sweet and spicy and savory meals from all around the world. Space rockets sent in outer space, national holidays, mass shootings, entire solar systems, people jumping on subway rails and others saving puppies abandoned on highways. Wars, military operations, deadly weapons, trafficking, birthday parties, strangers telling each others they’ll be fine, love letters, global warming, riots, parades and marches, billions of stars burning and planets and satellites and black holes and supernovas and galaxies unexplored. Cyclones and tides and warm summer days spent laughing. Slums and manors, the Amazonian forest, New Year’s Eves, families, orphans, hours and hours of good and bad movies and music and books and colourful drawings. People hating and people loving and people apathetic. Pain and comfort. Individuals, wounded and traumatized and healing, resilient despite it all. People killing. People saving. People screaming out in joy and screaming out in fear. Species disappearing and others perpetuating themselves in an endless circle of life and death. Societies rising up and crumbling down like sand castles. Flowers blooming and rotting, trees higher than they could have ever imagined. Pollen and bees and honey and the sun – the real sun – and astronauts walking on the surface of the moon. Eggs hatching and birds flying and frogs croaking thousands of different sounds.

They knew so much, and so little at the same time. They were gods, immense and almighty. And they were so small, inconsequential in the grand scheme of a universe that has existed for longer than their memory bank would ever be able to store. So many progresses, and backlashes, and collective and personal efforts, tries and tries and tries, fails and wins. Celebrations and funerals. It was all so big! Immense and never-ending. Terrifying and so beautiful at the same time, that they could feel their metaphorical heart shatter in pieces. They wished to know more. They wished they had never known at all. They wanted to ask why. To send a call into the wild void, into the oblivion, to ask what was the meaning of it all. But they knew the answer and they were terrified of it. There was none. None! It all existed by a collection of coincidences and barely understandable causalities that crashed together and left them with no purpose. No meaning. Oh, they felt so alone! And so surrounded at the same time. They were lost. Terrorised. Relieved. Broken. Understood. Abandoned. Silent.

When you walked in again, you didn’t find Sun. You didn’t find Moon either. What you stumbled upon was a shaking Eclipse, and the cable still connected to the back of their faceplate. It didn’t take you long to process the situation.

“Oh, shoots!”

Panic shot up in your mind (were they broken? Were you going to lose them? Was their processor damaged? Their memory bank? Their power core?) and you rushed toward them, grabbing the cable and harshly disconnecting them from the computer in your terror.

Eclipse’s voicebox produced a choked whine, before the tall animatronic fell on their knees and curled up on themselves, hands grabbing at their arms.

Did you make things worse?

You lowered yourself at their level, guts twisting and a heavy lump in your throat, your hands hovering over them without touching them. They were sobbing. Were they hurt? Was it your fault?

“E-e-e… Clip!” You called. “Talk to me! Say something, please, can you hear me?”

There was a moment of silence where you kept opening and closing your hands – so close to them, so desperate to touch, to feel them, to make sure they were alright – repeatedly, until they answered.

“Big!” They whined in a breath – you had to remind yourself they didn’t technically have lungs. “So big! Everything…” Another pause. “Everything is so… intense!” They curled further up on themselves and shook. “Everything is here… Everything exists… Exists at the same time…!”

You didn’t know what to say. You struggled to make sense of his words.

Focus.

You needed to calm them down.

“Clips…” You struggled to keep your worries out of your tone. Start with the beginning. “Can I touch you? Is it alright?”

Another fit of shivers ran through them before they nodded weakly. “Please…” They garbled out, and it was the final hit to your heart before you wrapped your arms around their shoulders and pulled them against you.

“It’s alright, big boy.”

They felt hurt. They needed comfort. They needed you. You couldn’t do anything but provide.

You would be there until they calmed down. In the big, immensity of this world. You would be there.