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[denimbex1986]

'Something funny happened on the way to the Doctor Who 60th anniversary special. For, as celebratory as the occasion is, it’s also proved to be a reminder of how intrinsically tragic the Doctor’s life can be.

First, the celebratory part: Not only is David Tennant – surely one of the most beloved of the Doctors – back for three specials, the first of which debuted on Saturday on Disney+ in the U.S. and BBC One in the U.K., but so is writer-producer Russell T Davies, who re-launched Doctor Who back in 2005 after a 16-year absence (not including the American TV movie). Davies gave us many of the hallmarks of modern Doctor Who, including casting Tennant and creating Donna Noble, the Catherine Tate companion who is also back for these specials.

But Donna is where some of that tragedy comes in. As “The Star Beast” kicks off, the Doctor gives a quick “previously on” direct-to-camera, reminding us that, in order to save her life, he had to erase his former companion’s memory when we last saw her (long story). That means Donna has no memory of the Doctor, their time-and-space-faring adventures together, or all of the good they did for the universe (including saving it from annihilation!).

And yet, when we pick back up with her in her domestic London life in “The Star Beast,” something is gnawing at Donna.

“Sometimes, I think there’s something missing,” she says. “Like I had something lovely, and it’s gone. And I kind of look to the side, like something should be there, and it’s not.” Donna acknowledges that she has a family who loves her and that she should be happy. “But some nights,” she says, “I lie in bed thinking, what have I lost?”

She’s lost the same thing that any companion of the Doctor eventually does: a life of unrealized dreams that were, against all odds, incredibly realized, the chance to travel to the furthest reaches of time and space, and back again, and see untold wonders. Who can say if she’s better off or not than any other former companion, since she can’t even remember what she’s lost since leaving the Doctor’s side, only to return to the humdrum reality of life on Earth. Perhaps her memory wipe was a blessing.

I’m reminded of one of the great stories from Davies’ original tenure on the show, back in the first David Tennant season. In the 2006 episode “School Reunion,” former companion Sarah Jane Smith (Elisabeth Sladen) returned to Doctor Who, having originally appeared in the 1970s alongside the Third and Fourth Doctors. Here, the Tenth Doctor is overjoyed to encounter his old friend, but the perspective on the matter for the time-hopping alien super-genius is quite different from that of Sarah Jane, who feels as if she was essentially abandoned by the Doctor years earlier.

“I waited for you. I missed you,” Sarah Jane tells the Doctor.

“Oh, you didn’t need me. You were getting on with your life,” the Doctor cluelessly responds.

“You were my life,” she says.

It’s a heartbreaking moment, and this is in an episode that’s also about school teachers who are secretly giant, flying vampires rendered in bad CGI, so that’s saying something. But just like Donna, who can’t quite remember why she has an aching hole in her soul, Sarah Jane spent years pining for, as she puts it, “the splendor” of her days with the Doctor.

Perhaps, though, the even more tragic figure is the Doctor himself. In “School Reunion,” Sarah Jane presses the Doctor on why he never came back for her. He flatly states that he couldn’t. And at the end of “The Star Beast,” Donna – now with her memories restored and the day saved, of course – declines travelling with the Doctor again, but she does suggest that he could pop by every now and then for a visit and a cup of tea. “Why is it such a big goodbye with you?” she asks. The Doctor, however, is oddly non-committal about the prospect.

It all comes down to the immortality of the Doctor, doesn’t it? At one time he was thought to have a cap of 12 regenerations, but has since exceeded that (gotta keep the franchise going). That means that our favorite Time Lord could very well live forever, but at the very least he’s got to be thousands of years old by now. (It’s hard to calculate precisely.) Imagine the colossal loneliness of that existence, even if it is peppered with companions here or there for what must be, from the Doctor’s perspective, brief moments in time. Moments that he apparently fully remembers and never forgets. “I really do remember, though. Every second with you,” he tells Donna.

It’s not a new concept – that the immortal figure must watch all that he loves get old and die, time and again. While Donna being freed of her memory wipe and having adventures with the Fourteenth Doctor again by the end of “The Star Beast” is certainly a happy ending, she will have to, inevitably, say goodbye to him again in just a few weeks. And as the Tenth Doctor told Rose (another companion he has long since left behind) in “School Reunion,” he is ultimately alone: “That’s the curse of the Time Lords.”'

[bruce-wayne-simp]

Ok yall im about to watch Remainder (2015)

I love how when i started my Sandman obsession i was like 'ok but we arent gonna get obsessed with Tom Sturridge' and now here we are. Ive watched Pirate Radio like 3 times and now im watching this

Disclaimer: idk what exactly this movie is about. Ive read a synopsis before but that was a while ago and i forgot what it was so 🤷‍♀️

The rest is under a read more, so, incoherent rambling ahead (hopefully). If not ill just be yelling abt how pretty he is i guess

Spoilers ahead

Oh god its starting aaahhhh

Hes panting....

So he's walking around frantically (but not like. Panicked) with a suitcase

Ok he left his luggage and now something fell-

HOLY SHIT he just got bashed in the head by something falling

How is he not fucking dead that was BRUTAL

Oh ok so hes basically dead??

Oh no hes awake actually

3 minutes in and this is a rollercoaster already jesus

Ok so he's in the MRI end he's remembering something

Ok creepy old lady

HE'S SPEAKING AAAAHHHH

Oooh he's scraggly here. Long hair and a beard

Ouch i feel bad for him :( he got tea and then fell while carrying it back to the bed

Did he rip the phone cord out of the wall on purpose

Ok tbh this is getting kinda tedious

Ooooh wait now its getting interesting

Ok so hes in the phone booth bcs he accidentally(?) pulled his phone cord out of the wall and this guy is impatient and wants to use the phone but gives up and goes away.

Then these two guys pull up in a car and are trying to get him out of the phone booth. The guy from before pulls out his phone and starts recording and one of the two guys reveals he has a gun. The guy recording manages to spook the two guys off.

Tom (T. Sturridge's character) gets out of the booth with the help of the recording guy, looks at him intensely and calls him Christopher. Chris gets kinda freaked out bcs that's his name and Tom somehow knows it.

INTRIGUING. Which is great bcs i was about to skip forward

Oh shit now there's some lady in his house

He knows her??? Ok

Also he did rip the phone out of the wall on purpose

Oh thank god hes getting a haircut

Oh also btw hes getting a settlement for the accident which is 8.5 million pounds but after taxes and stuff itll be like in the hundred thousands. The catch is that he can't talk about it. Which to him is all well and good bcs he doesn't remember anything about it.

Its kinda implied by this point that there's more to this than just an accident

Aww he's talking to the lady (idk her name and at this point we don't know his either) and he says he remembers her. He specifically remembers seeing her right before the accident (which we saw earlier), he remembers her smell and remembers kissing her or someone who looks like her

They're in the lawyers office and GOD is he pretty here

I noticed the way he moves his hands kinda oddly in The Sandman and i wondered if that was a character choice but i think he just Does That?? Idk we'll see

Im so confused. What??

I'm even more confused

How dare he look pretty with blood on his face looking pathetic in the subway

Oh shit thats a little complicated

So he went to this guys house where hes having a halloween party. The dudes name is Greg(??) and knows our guy. We find out the lady's name is Catherine and she is Gregs wife. Our guy is kinda agitated and trying to leave (for some reason) and Greg keeps pulling him back. Greg drops that she is/was his wife and that shes a liar and our guy pushes past him, goes into the bathroom amd vomits in the sink.

"Blizz. I think youre bad at explaining. None of this makes sense!" Exactly. Im even more confused

I have faith this will all make sense soon. We are only 30 mins in.

Is this just a 'this movie' thing or a British thing?? Is everyone this impatient all the time?? First hes in the phone booth for literally 5 seconds before someone tells him to hurry up. Now hes in the bathroom for maybe like 1 minute before people are like 'hey hurry it tf up' like CHILL yall

Ok nows a good time to mention this. He keeps having visions/flashbacks of this little boy in a red and blue coat and a creepy old lady

Oh shit that was intersting. Ok so he had a vision of walking around his flat and he winds up in the stairwell and he sees the old lady. She says something and he cant make it out so he asks 'What?' and she looks kind of up and next to him and the little boy is right there. The boy holds a hand out, our guy closes his eyes and he opens them to find himself still in the bathroom.

Wild. Ok. Im a bit more intrigued than confused now

Ok he was in the bathroom for an hour apparently. Theyre justified in yelling at him. But he also suffered severe brain damage so 🤷‍♀️

✨️arts and crafts time✨️

Catherines back!

He's kinda wary of her after his convo with Greg but she shows pics of herself in Oxford (where she said she was going) then they start bantering a bit and he says theyve had this conversation before and asks if she remembers and she says no :(

They're kissing aahhh

Oh shit Greg called her

He threw her phone at the wall and told her to get the fuck out

Hes not having a good time. Tbh he never was

Ok so he made a cardboard house during his arts and crafts time. For what? I have no idea.

Ok he lifted up the top and now he just destroyed it. Forget about the house we hate the house

Ok actually don't forget about the house he's calling realtors to ask about the house he recreated

Use a laptop you loser ❤️

OOOOH OKAY

So remember the vision he had in the bathroom?? THATS THE HOUSE HES LOOKING FOR. THE HOUSE HE WAS IN IN THE VISION. IT WASNT HIS FLAT.

Ok i think i get it? Hes having these visions and he remembers things and hes trying to recreate the memories and figure out what the visions are

Ok also i like the realtor guy. Hes working with him to figure out what the place hes been seeing is. Down to the old lady and the little boy.

Also we find out more details. The old lady cooks liver all the time to the point where our guy can smell it upstairs and puts her trash out whenever our guy leaves his apartment. Theres a guy who composes music and our guy can hear it upstairs.

Like hes professional and obviously a biy weirded out but hes not just like. Dismissing him out of hand

Also id youve seen The Kissing Gifs, this guy is the guy he kisses later on

The realtor guys colleagues find the house within like. Minutes and our guy is THRILLED

"I want you full-time, all the time." "Im not cheap." KISS ALREADY, DAMN

Oh shit it's those two guys from the phone booth

Oh ok so he wants to literally recreate the visions. He bought the complex he was seeing and he described the lady and the other dude so the realtor guy can move them in i guess?? And hes having construction workers make it EXACTLY as he saw it.

This man has Issues. Thats it thats the movie(?)

Oh my god he's having it recreated down to the fucking CATS on the roof. Jesus christ.

This part is hilarious

Ok so they tied the cats down to the roof bcs they were falling off the roof (horrifying). Our guy sees this and is like 'wtf no' so they have this amazing convo

Naz: These are the last cats we have

Tom: ...so?

Naz: So if they fall we'll be cat-less

Tom: Then we'll get more cats- why are we even having this conversation?

Like it's awful but funny as shit

Realtor guys name is Naz (we just found out)

(The cat handler quit btw)

Jfc he's like. Inspecting the people who are moving in with Intense Eye Contact

Oh my god hes like. Ordering this guy to do nothing but compose music that has ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN day in and day out and start over again and again

Holy fuck this is so Wild. There are people in line who literally have their faces covered (bcs i guess he doesn't know what they look like????)

He just told this lady that there's a broom closet but he doesn't want her to ever use it. But she needs to think about it. WHAT THE FUCK

"You will notice there are some rooms that have been left blank. Like the masks some of you are wearing. You're not less important, you're just less specific."

Hey. Hey Tom. Do you take constructive criticism? How about you use that small fortune and go to ✨️therapy✨️

Greg's a bit of a douche

Wow this is creepy as shit

He's going into the house and everyones in place recreating the vision but its just so... produced.

Hes micromanaging the SHIT out of this

HE WANTED TO MAKE THE LITTLE BOY APPEAR AGAIN. HE TOLD NAZ THAT THE BOY APPEARS WHEN EVERYTHING'S RIGHT. I WAS WONDERING ABOUT THE LITTLE BOY

Also the old lady fell when she was doing her thing and it knocked him out of seeing the boy

Christopher (the guy from the phone booth) seems chill.

Also Toms proposition is weird but not like. Actively malicious. He told Chris that he wanted him to stay at the phone booth. The longer he stays the more he gets paid. Also that the phone will ring and he gets paid if he answers it

We have 50 minutes left in this fucking movie

Oooohhhh hes sleeping with some random lady to try and recreate a memory i think

OH he's trying to recreate the memory with Catherine but without Catherine

Nooo those guys got Christopher :(

Naz is a real one

Oh god hes recreating Christophers death. HES PLAYING THE ROLE OF CHRISTOPHER HIMSELF

He had the guys use an ACTUAL TASER on him

Naz was like 'youre not using an actual taser' and Tom was like 'then go home' and i guess Naz decided to stay lmaooo

He threw up afterwards bcs being tased is Not Fun and was like 'again' and Naz (who is very sweet) was like 'i don't understand why it's necessary to hurt yourself'

Once again, NAZ IS A REAL ONE

Theyre still doing it again tho

Nvm he walked out of the phone booth and immediately collapsed lmao

Oof the lady he has playing Catherine is Over It

'I won't hurt you' he says as he has his hand around her neck

Men will do literally anything other than go to therapy

He scared the living shit out of her and now she's just reciting her lines on autopilot to appease him

To his credit, he feels bad about it (bare minimum)

Nvm about that actually

Sir you just traumatized some random lady bcs YOU can't deal

Oh fuck

Ok so the two guys got him

Apparently he stole the suitcase he had in the beginning of the movie before the accident and they wanna know where it is

Which is a problem bcs Tom can't really remember anything

Oh shit they're torturing him abt it

Oh wow that house is super fucked up

Literally everyones waiting in place and Tom and Naz are just. Upstairs.

They've been frozen for OVER AN HOUR

Tom's just. Watching tv like he doesn't have a dozen people frozen in place downstairs.

Wealth really does fuck you up huh

Ok bcs of Reasons theyre reenacting a bank robbery. Don't ask me why. I know why but i just don't feel like explaining it

Is Naz a realtor? I don't think he is actually. I just assumed. Sorry Naz.

At least he has a lot of stuff to put on his resume now? He could make a killing in theatre. That's basically what he's doing now is stage managment

Omg in this scene he looked like Dream for a second there

See, he wants it to feel real, but he's producing it every step of the way

THEY KISSED

Holy shit

Ok so. Basically he wants to do an actual bank robbery.

The hyperrealistic set isn't enough. If im hearing him correctly he wants to do an actual, honest to god bank robbery with real guns and everything at the actual bank where it happened

Without the actors' knowledge

Guess who works at the bank? Catherine.

This is so fucked up

What the fuck

Holy shit Tom shot him

What a psychopath

Oh my GOD

He just shot all the actors

THE KID IS REAL

Oh my god oh my god oh my god

WHAT THE FUCK

IM SHAKING WHAT THE FUCK

BRO YOU JUST KILLED 4 PEOPLE

NO FUCKING WAY

ITS STARTING OVER AGAIN

Its over oh my god

Final thoughts: Just... im speechless. What the fuck. I dont even know what to think. What a trip. It starts off super slow but damn. I might rewatch just to figure out what the Fuck but thats not high on the priority list. I might watch Like Minds next??

[raxistaicho]

Are we not Engaged? Part 5

Spoilers under the cut

-Dragon loli Azura is getting attacked by Corrupted.

-She’s looking for her sister. Alear 100%

-What does getting Sommie to max joy do anyways? Oh well, making the littler bugger happy is fun XD

-Alear Yunaka C: I can’t stop hearing Ahri when Yunaka talks lol. “I’ve merc’d a time or two,” okay that was legitimately nice word play. Honestly, I like Yunaka most when she slips into killer mode when she scores crits. I’m probably trying to read too deep into her, but I’m curious where her real self starts and ends.

-Louis Yunaka C: Louis gives her tea. What is it with Firenans and tea. Louis asks Yunaka about her family, Yunaka kinda dodges the question and Louis tactfully withdraws. Not much happens here, but I suspect we’re building to something.

-Citrinne uses big hurty lightning \o/

-Celine Louis C: T E A. Celine likes to smell her tea. Louis knows where special tea is and Celine’s excited.

-Alcryst Citrine C: Citrine’s training, Alcryst praises her for it. She’s upset about not being strong enough for some reason.

-Hmm, seems I can’t actually take master seals into battle, that’s interesting.

-On to Brodia castle and chapter 8.

-Oh wow, Brodia castle looks even harder to take than Firene castle.

-Diamant is coming to greet us, hopefully he doesn’t take a shot at us or try to start an international incident.

-There’s something off-puting about Diamant’s eyes.

-Morion’s voice actor is terrible.

-Diamant apparently argues with Morion not to leave the castle. What, is he not capable of defending himself in this kingdom of might? Also the game actually froze in the middle of Morion’s dialogue for a bit, I never had that happen in Three Houses.

-It happened again lol.

-Morion just tosses Roy’s ring at Diamant, wtf... I know I’m supposed to see him as good-hearted and friendly, but he’s just acting like a another doofus.

-Here’s Roy. Thank god his summoning tune wasn’t a remix of Beyond the Fucking Sky. Or at least not one I recognized.

-Oh hey, here Ivy. “She’s dodging all our wyverns’ attacks.” We’ll see if that translates to gameplay lol.

-Ivy’s gonna take my life and my soul. Oh boy, more edgy cliches. At least she’s not as annoying as Hortensia. Oh she’s actually remorseful.

-Oohhh, the Sage Lord was Leif.

-Oh christ I already don’t like Amber.

-Citrinne got a Constance level! \o/ Oh well, with her meh base speed she might as well quadruple-down on poking. Besides, I have Celine when I need a monster-fast mage (17 speed roflmao)

-Etie’s decision to just really really stupid strong worked out when she dealt Zelkov a crushing 22 damage with a crappy Longbow, lol.

-Zelkov is like he's trying to be Hubert but he doesn't realize part of the charm is Hubert just embraces who he is and also takes it out for a romantic evening. At least he’s not lacking in noticeable character traits like Kagetsu.

-”With this ring, nothing and no-one will take me down.” They all say that. Then I send Celine after them.

-We got Leif \o/

-”Emblem of Genealogy” I really fucking hate how Leif is representing Genealogy Gen 2 rather than Thracia.

-”How could I have failed,” you flew straight into an ambush.

-Wait, did we just let Ivy leave???

-King Hyacinth is trying to challenge Morion into combat.

-Morion is toss around death flags like crazy. No idea why Diamant is so afraid when Brodia has been at war with Elusia for ages.

 -Diamant is boring as shit as a character. Morion’s supposed to be jolly and fun but he’s just an idiot.

-Finally we reference whether or not Alear can turn into a dragon. She absolutely will before the end.

-Oh my god, Catherine’s alive and she got old and came to Brodia!!!

-Celine Alear B: TEA. Seems bandits are attacking tea trade routes. What is it with Firenans and tea. Eve is sending Celine after the bandits because... she knows the most about tea? What? Alear asks what she’ll do, Celine says she’ll “drive them off with pranks”. Celine, you’re like my best soldier, just go kill them all \o/ Celine laments that real life isn’t so fanciful, then she raises things to 11 by saying she’ll do whatever it takes to protect her people. I mean I have her burn my foes to death easily but eh.

-Oh nice this game carries over Echoes’s weapon transformation system. Except unlike Echoes it gives you materials at better than a drip-feet.

-Framme Chloe A: Oh my god, it’s still the same scene. Framme accidentally gave Chloe a sandwich of fried bugs. This is literally just their B support being repeated!

-Celine Etie B: T E A. Turns out Alfred almost died when he was young and Celine had to toughen up because of it. Etie’s hand is still trembling. Oh she’s using her weird weighted teacups again. Celine’s handled cannonballs???

Celine Alcryst C: Celine’s out late because she can’t sleep. She admits to having recurring nightmares due to lingering trauma of when Alfred was sickly, Alcryst says he fears Diamant dying too. This one was legitimately a good support convo, it’s like something from 3H.

-Citrine Clanne C: Citrinne bugs me, she’s trying to be a refined mature lady but she’s got the same babyface as the other girls. Clanne’s trying to help a withered wildfowe, Citrinne is pleased for it. I think this has something to do with her obsession with getting stronger.

-Oohh, gold corrupted. I wanna see what that’s all about.

-Oh no, the fog of war is back.

-Alear Alcryst C: Alear almost gets ambushed... by a wolf. Alcryst asks the wolf to leave Alear alone... and then begs it to leave... This is worse than anything Bernadetta ever did.

-I began a relay just now. Later I shall see what the ignorant masses achieve with my incredible Louis, Celine, and Chloe.

-Celine Alcryst B: Turns out Morion stupidly made Alcryst worry that his father and brother will die. Alcryst goes to check Diamant whenever he’s woken by his nightmares. They pledge to support each other.

-Alcryst Diamant C: They’re sparring. Diamant is mostly trying to help out Alcryst’s mindset, but Alcryst is stubbornly pessimistic. It ends on Alcryst wondering if Diamant has any weaknesses.

-Alcryst Lapis C: Alcryst vows to protect Lapis because he thinks he’s worthless, but it makes Lapis really uncomfortable.

-Vander Amber C: Vander is devoted and stuff, Amber’s stupidly looking for a legendary weapon he thinks might be at the Somniel because he’s Amber and he’s stupid. Vander tells Amber he needs to make a weapon legendary by becoming legendary.

That’s all for now, next will be chapter 9.

[riddlecrux]

Light seen through the windows: an analysis of windows as a literary tool in Elriel relationship

I would love to preface this meta with my favorite disclaimer that everything that I will be discussing is based on what I have gathered from SJM writing. The quotes used in this post will serve as a starting point for further analysis. Additionally, I will be using things such as symbolism, metaphors, and literary device methods to build up my reasoning and beliefs. On another note, this, as usual, is strictly pro-Elriel meta. If they are not your cup of tea and you wish to comment, please be civil and bring arguments supported by the text.

So many of us like to gaze and stare through the windows daily. Looking at the world behind the glass often is considered a form of tranquility that we feel. Windows are essentially doors that lead us to whatever lies behind them - the last border between being in one place and then in another. It isn't then surprising that windows serve as symbols and metaphors in literature. From the start, whenever I read a passage about windows in ACOWAR I was reminded of Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. You may ask why?

Emily Bronte used windows as symbolism in her work. They are very important for her characters and their personal arcs. They are symbols of barriers, misfortunes that characters face. Windows there are metaphors of various obstacles estranging Bronte's characters from achieving their hopes - realizing that the dreams they had will be not fulfilled. As I don't want to get spoilery with Wuthering Heights, I'm going to draw conclusions in a very neat manner. Bronte used windows as a connection to nightmares that one of the main characters was suffering from - it ties to the fact that in his nightmares he sees the person he had loved, haunting him. Because of the relationship with a said woman, the imagery of windows in this particular scene symbolizes death, an obstacle that stands between both of them. Throughout the book, we also get glimpses of how windows might be used as a metaphor for social classes and the contrast between them, and how Heathcliff and Catherine have to go about it. Along with the windows, doors are also used as a symbol of trapping someone in one place, obstructing them from achieving their dream or preventing them from reaching out to their loved one. Not to mention that during a very particular scene with Catherine, she wants the windows open - a symbolism of her wanting to feel free, to connect with something she knows, she longs for. This leads to the conclusion that windows in Bronte's novel are symbols of life and death, they are the in-between - a symbolic barrier.

On the other hand, windows in literature signalize something called "art of watching", and usually it is connected to a female protagonist that observes life, events through the window. Not to mention, the most famous association to windows such as "windows to the soul" - which, of course, is more metaphorical. It allows us, the audience, to connect with the character's inner feelings, struggles, as we are presented with the emotional aspect of said person. They are the bridge between the inside and outside. Windows are also a source of light, which we humans crave. Looking through the window one can absorb the light, which can resonate as a symbol of growth and change. Metaphorically we see the light from the window when we feel a need to light up the darkness inside us. They expose us, our inner feelings, and struggles.

When I read ACOWAR I have noticed that SJM decided to use windows, quite clearly, in the indication of two particular characters. Azriel and Elain. For the first time, when we met Elain again in the third book the window is a big issue.

"The suite was filled with sunlight. Every curtain shoved back as far as it could go, to let in as much sun as possible."

We have a clear description of the sunlit room, curtains shoved to further underline the need for light.

"And seated in a small chair before the sunniest of the windows, her back to us, was Elain."

In the brightest place in the room sits Elain, in front of the window. She is exposed to the sun, to sunlight and is absorbing that light - which is highlighted during this scene (which makes it important to note).

"Her skin was so pale it looked like fresh snow in the harsh light. I realized then that the color of death, of sorrow, was white."

The sunlight exposes Elain, its harsh light makes her pale, almost translucent. Even Feyre realizes the graveness of this picture comparing this white hue to death. As you can see the chain of events in this scene played like that: sunlit room -> curtain swept away -> Elain sitting in front of the window -> sudden comparison to death.

"She had been always so full of light. Perhaps that was why she now kept all the curtains open. To fill the void that existed where all of that light had once been. And now nothing remained."

Feyre deducts that the need for light on Elain's part is a desperate call to brighten the darkness inside her - which perfectly aligns with the metaphorical usage of windows. Elain basks in light in a helpless cry for help. The very dark void that appeared within her after being Made eats her away. It sucks her immortal life away - the one which she yet didn't get used to. On the other hand, we as readers are presented with the fact that Elain is trapped. In this Fae life, in this room, in this situation in which she grieves for her past and many what-ifs.

Nothing. Not even a flicker of emotion. “Everyone keeps saying that.” Her thumb brushed the ring on her finger. “But it doesn’t fix anything, does it?”

Sitting in front of the window - a sunny one to be precise, which symbolizes life, growth, and change, Elain is presented in a contrast to her surroundings. To show that visible barrier that her person has to overcome. She realizes that her dreams are meant to be unfulfilled, that they are unreachable.

"My stiff, limping steps, at least, had eased into a smoother gait by the time I found Elain in the family library. Still staring at the window, but she was out of her room."

The next time we see Elain she is out of her room - her "cage", but even though she left the boundaries of her entrapment she still chooses to linger around the windows. As Feyre notices, Elain gazes through the window - we are obstructed from Elain's POV and it's hard to imagine what she could be thinking about. Yet the symbolic manner of using the window as some sort of mirror, a passage that happens throughout the series, allows me to think that the metaphorical usage of windows, in this case, isn't a far-fetched idea.

"Elain didn’t turn. She was wearing a pale pink gown that did little to complement her sallow skin, her brown-gold hair hanging in loose, heavy ringlets down her thin back."

SJM uses this sentence to highlight that it isn't just a quick glance out of the window - in fact, it is constant staring through it. It is important for us as readers to note that this thing, window gazing, is an occupation that lasts for long periods of time. It isn't something trivial, it is something that showcases the importance of said windows in Elain's journey.

“What are you looking at?” I asked Elain, keeping my voice soft. Casual. Her face was wan, her lips bloodless. But they moved—barely—as she said, “I can see so very far now. All the way to the sea.”

Feyre decides to ask Elain who is still gazing through the window. Her answer is very ominous and holds a great deal of importance, but also underlines the fact that she is drawn to the window. Not to mention that what she is seeing is the sea - another vastly discussed symbol. In this situation, I believe that the interpretation can lay in a more psychological aspect of the matter rather than a literary one. In the works of very well-known psychiatrist Carl Jung the sea "symbolizes the personal and the collective unconscious in dream interpretation". So from his notes there comes this annotation that caught my attention, "The sea is a favourite place for the birth of visions."

Elain is a seer who constantly gazes through a window which symbolizes the in-between, life and death. These two are connected to one another and SJM used many things to further develop Elain's character as a powerful figure.

"Elain only turned toward the sunny windows again, the light dancing in her hair."

After the whole conversation Elain doesn't move from her spot, quite the contrary she returns to her previous activity. Gazing through the window. Once again we are reminded about the sun and light - which signalizes that Elain tries to undergo through the process of rebirth, but also tries to break free from the unhappiness that came with lost dreams.

"Something in my chest cracked as Nesta’s eyes also went to the windows before Elain. To check, as I did, for whether they could be easily opened."

Here we have an instance of both sisters realizing that Elain spending so much time in front of windows can be dangerous, as in her attempting to jump from them. Once again, the symbolism of death.

"More steps—no doubt closer to where Elain stood at the window."

Elain is still beside the window when Lucien tries to talk to her. Even alone she seeks the place next to the window to stare.

"But sunlight on gold caught his eye—and Elain slowly turned from her vigil at the window."

Elain is still by the window, for the whole scene she is there not moving an inch from it. Furthermore, the word "vigil" is also an interesting choice. There are different meanings of it, but I find these ones very telling and suitable for this instance: a period of sleeplessness; insomnia, a watch kept, or the period of this and a devotional watching, or keeping awake, during the customary hours of sleep. We can speculate about what happened to Elain while she was in the Cauldron, what made her so withdrawn from life and so desperate for the light. I want to believe that we as readers will get our answers in the next book since Elain being a seer with unknown powers makes her a perfect target for Koschei with which she has already had connections.

She looked away—toward the windows. “I can hear your heart,” she said quietly.

Again, during the whole conversation, she doesn't move away from her spot next to the window. Windows for her, start to become a symbolism of change and rebirth - the things she probably wished while being confined to her room.

Elain only stared out the window, unaware—or uncaring.

We have another mention about staring - which further highlights how important windows are as a literary tool for Elain's character. She seeks light, she wants to overcome this barrier that was thrown at her the moment she was Made. She, perhaps, watched through the window to observe the life which was stripped away from her and turned her into this immortal being. Or, maybe she just desperately wanted to brighten up the darkness that gathered inside her because of that whole situation. Another important thing to note is that this scene is a first moment alone with Lucien - her mate, which should have been very painful for her. The conversation also held a lot of weight, yet she valiantly stood by the window as if somewhere behind it she could find an answer.

“So it can’t be a perfect system of matching. What if”—I jerked my chin toward the window, to my sister and the shadowsinger in the garden —“that is what she needs? Is there no free will? What if Lucien wishes the union but she doesn’t?”

Here we have an instance of "art of watching" in which Feyre observes Azriel and Elain through the window. By watching them she comes to the conclusion that both of them are better suited and actually can comfort each other in comfortable silence. The window here is used as a barrier to showcase parallels of two couples: happily mated Feysand and unhappily in love with other people Elriel.

"But I looked to Azriel, currently leaning against the wall beside the floor-to-ceiling window, shadows fluttering around him."

And here we are start with Azriel and windows (also in ACOWAR). He is another character that has an extraordinary connection to windows. He is often mentioned next to them and somehow parallels Elain's behavior - staring through windows, being near them.

"I blinked, realizing I’d been lost in the bond, but found Azriel still by the window, (...)."

As we can see Azriel lingers next to the window without moving away from it - as the scene progresses we know that the conversation lasts a good ounce of time, yet Azriel stands in his place by the window.

"Azriel didn’t so much as turn from his vigil at the window, though I could have sworn his wings tucked in a bit tighter."

The same wording, the same imagery. Both used for Elain and Azriel. Both of them keeping vigils at the windows, staring through them as if they could find an answer through them.

"The main room of the guardhouse was stuffy and cramped, more so with all of us in there, and though I offered Elain a seat by the sealed window, she remained standing—at the front of our company. Staring at the shut iron door."

This scene is when Elain is about to confront her lover - Greysen. It is underlined that she rejected her usual spot, which is by the window, and preferred to face the door. She was trapped, she knew that a very important discussion will take a place here. She chose to look at the door rather than at the window, which in this matter could symbolize hope for a change - she stared at the door which metaphorically means transition or imprisonment.

"(...) close to Elain’s side as she and my sister silently kept against the wall by the intact bay of windows."

Another instance of Elain and her being content with being next to the windows.

"I’d seen Elain staring out the window earlier—watching Graysen leave with his men without so much as a look back at her."

"Art of Watching", but also the window's symbolism of dreams that were unfulfilled. At that moment, we can assume, that Elain realized that her dreams concerning human life and her future with Greysen would only be unattainable dreams/hopes.

“What now?” Elain mused, at last answering my question from moments ago as her attention drifted to the windows facing the sunny street. That smile grew, bright enough that it lit up even Azriel’s shadows across the room. “I would like to build a garden,” she declared. “After all of this … I think the world needs more gardens.

At the end of ACOWAR, we have this powerful moment, in which Elain gazing out of the window sees sunny streets = life. A chance of rebirth, which also beautifully overlaps with the fact that she proposed building a garden! The in-between that she balanced on while gazing through the window for so many times turned from death and misfortunes into life and hopes of the future.

ACOFAS

"Elain politely refused, taking up a spot in one of the wooden chairs set in the bay of windows. Also typical."

From Rhysand's point of view, we can deduct that even they are aware of the fact that Elain and windows are something notable. It is a place where she feels comfortable and probably spends a lot of time.

"Beyond the windows, darkness had indeed fallen. The longest night of the year. I found Elain studying it, beautiful in her amethyst-colored gown. I made to move toward her, but someone beat me to it."

In previous quotes, we could gather information about how Elain craved the light and how desperate she was to lighten up her person. Here, we can see that she also started to embrace the darkness. She is again by the window, observing the darkness as if no one else was around her. And of course, the one person who goes towards her at that moment is Azriel, a personification of darkness in the books.

Azriel strode to the lone window at the end of the room and peered into the garden below. “I’ve never stayed in this room.” His midnight voice filled the space.

Azriel went straight to the window. And not an ordinary one, but the one through which you can see the garden. Life and light. I know many were theorizing if what kept Azriel so occupied by the window was Elain, but I would love to put some of my thoughts in this discourse. Yes, I do think that what caught his attention, or who caught his attention was Elain. However, Elain at that moment represents life and light - the things that are associated with windows. And if you spin it around you have Azriel=darkness, death staring at Elain=light, life. The in-between, the very initial symbolism of window in literature. Not to mention that in this scene we have Azriel watching the light and next we have Elain observing darkness.

“No,” Azriel said, not turning from the window.

Azriel remained at the window. “Will Nesta stay here if she comes?

“I’d still be surprised if they remember once the storm clears,” Azriel said, turning from the garden window at last.

We have a whole scene in which it is so heavily implied that Azriel was constantly staring through the window, not even bothering to move away from it. We also have another highlighted thing which is the fact that it was a garden window.

There was a tiny box left on the table by the window—a box that Mor lifted, squinted at the name tag, and said, “Az, this one’s for you.”

A small thing, yet a very sweet one. The fact that even his present was placed close to the window, which starts to become an Elriel thing.

ACOSF

"She’d barely slept for fear of Elain walking off this veranda, or leaning too far out of one of the countless windows, or simply throwing herself down those ten thousand stairs."

We have a reminder that during her stay at House of Wind, Elain was a symbol of death. She carried it on her while being associated with windows that were used as a source of light that helped her heal.

"Elain stood at the wall of windows, clad in a lilac gown whose close-fitting bodice showed how well her sister had filled out since those initial days in the Night Court."

Even when she visits Nesta, she takes the place by the windows. It is something that is strictly connected to her. As if the windows were part of her now.

Elain’s smile was as bright as the setting sun beyond the windows. “I thought I’d drop by to see how you were doing.”

Light, sun, life = Elain.

“You’ve got good coloring, I mean,” Elain clarified, striding from the windows to cross the room. She stopped a few feet away. As if holding herself back from the embrace she might have given.

SJM still used the passages to underline the passage of time that Elain spent standing next to the window. It is a place in which she feels good and perhaps safe.

"They’d sat in them, before this fire, so many times that it was an unspoken rule that Azriel’s was the one on the left, closer to the window, and Cassian’s the one to the right, closer to the door."

We also get the information that Azriel always was the closest to the window - which is an odd thing to add without a deeper meaning. As if to further build up that connection between him and Elain - that both of them are aware of the fact that they are also the symbolism of the allegory of windows. I believe that SJM really researched that light and darkness trope, with which she built and she is still building up Elriel. The windows are just another tiny nugget that further envelopes both of them as one. Because while Elain transformed from death to life, she still welcomed darkness and embraced it - and Azriel opened to the life and light, seeking it. As I said, windows are a literary tool, which perhaps wasn't the main idea in the SJM text, but the amount of parallels between both of them and even the same wording applied to different scenes tells me that it's yet another connection between them.

[matteblacklips]

august update ii

Disclaimer: I would like to begin this email thread by saying if you didn’t want to receive emails from me you shouldn’t have given me your email to begin with.

Joke of the chain: Hear about the new restaurant called Karma....There’s no menu: You get what you deserve. Trip to NYC: New York was not what I expected. Of course it smelled & there were a lot of rats but I actually really loved it there. Huge fan of Kelvin being down af to do anything and a bigger fan of Stevin and Mina. I can’t wait until October 7th to see Jack Harlow there and have a weekend with 7. I found the coolest decorations for my new apartment and I just need frames for them now, and I got a special edition Spider-Man comic. Kelvin and I spent some quality time together this weekend and if he doesn’t hate me after spending four hours with me both ways, it’s safe to say Kelvin is never getting sick of me. The bar we went to was called The Vig Bar and walking there for 20 mins was almost worth losing a toe..the drinks were disgustingly strong.

Shefali Roast: Fiona asked me if she should go see Ewan McGregor this weekend, and little ole me confused Obi Wan with that boxer/wrestler/fighter from Ireland. I'm totally blanking on names and I can't tell if it's because I'm getting old or if my brain is fried from all the boozing I've been doing.

Kelli Talk : Everyone please pray for our queen Kelli who is now living with three boys until after Labor Day weekend. Being a physical touch girlie, I made her hold my hand today...let me know why neither of us have any f'n circulation? Boy update: Everyone welcome Alex to the chain. He is extremely excited to read the tea. Also; I left my purse at his apartment after my sneaky link & I swear I’ve never felt like more of an idiot considering not even 24 hours before that, I left my purse in Kelvin’s car after he dropped me off. Thank you, T, for driving/making me drive to go get it. I’m never doing that again.

TV Provider Update: HBOMax currently has the best selection of new shows and movies. Will keep you updated considering it changes every few weeks after they took down the Dark Knight Rises, I’ve never been Pro-HBO but they brought back some classics.

Pop culture Update: Jeanette Mcurdy (is that how you spell her name¿ I definitely messed that up) released a book and she basically talked about how much she resented Ariana Grande to the point where she heard a song of hers play on the radio and she started bawling her eyes out. Not Ariana’s fault obviously but Nickelodeon basically forced her to turn down movie roles because of her Sam and Cat contract but would let Ariana miss weeks of work for singing. It’s really sad when you think about it.

November/December plans: I was thinking of getting tickets to go see Celtics/Bulls game in November at TD Garden and I’m 90% down to send it but no one ask to go with me unless you’ll drop the $400 now. You already know I’m so petty that I’ll go by myself and watch the Bulls lose. I’m also down for the Celtics/Heat game in December, but I don’t have a grudge against the Heat. Serious inquiries only.

Amendment: I actually went to buy the tickets but I couldn't find my debit card so now I'm impulsive AND upset. Will try again tomorrow.

Catherine Update: 

Friend update: 7 is sick, Thomas and X are probably fine. Kiersten is headed to the cape this week. Anthony and X might live together. X is still so sexy. Kelvin listened to 2 hours of Taylor Swift with me this weekend. Mina has my glycolic acid toner and probably will never use it (I recommend that he does). Kelli is living with her boyfriend. Catherine might go see Alesso tmr. Fiona quit her job (congratulate her). Lynn saw The Weeknd in Dallas, she’s also a reels girlie. Tyler now has an apartment in Chicago and has a blanket and his couch ready for me. Mina Shehata is doing well, I miss him dearly, does anyone remember the first email I sent out (the one with the Holiday Muffin recipe), I’m still so touched that he chose to use that recipe and made it to top two in his baking competition. 

Anniversary : Happy Three Years, Pat and Sierra!

Song on repeat: Butter by BTS but the Meg Thee Stallion remix. Listen to it, you will not regret it. 

Availability this week: High chance of 7 and I going to dinner with Thomas and X this Friday, also high chance of us being on a boat. Kiersten is free this week so assume that the girls are raging this weekend (Saturday) Everyone is welcome to come. I can send a follow up email about location/where we go. Wednesday & Thursday are looking like I’m going home (considering I haven’t been home since last Tuesday) and I’m pretty sure my dad misses me. I work remote on Friday and that means I’m either taking the early morning bus in OR driving into the city after my 4:30 call OR I may not be allowed to leave my house..stay tuned.

Best, 

Shefali Patel

Follow up questions:

Do I have a loud voice? I was with a man and he said I did and I'm not gonna lie...that shit hurt my feelings so bad I almost shut up for the rest of the night.

What's worse, homewrecker or homie-hopper? Like from the perspective of the person being homewrecked and the homie that got hopped on. I personally say homie-hopper because imagine your best friend fucked your boyfriend/girlfriend.. that's fucked...could never be me...ever.

Keep in mind you would be responding to the chain so don’t blow my spot if you can help it. I would really appreciate keeping my dignity if I could.

What to expect: weekly to biweekly emails regarding things that matter to me including but not limited to bad jokes, an update on plans, current events, and my personal favorite new recipes and places to check out!

[aquietwritingcorner]

Sicktember Day 21: Unlikely Caregiver Word Count: 1836 Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl Rating: T Characters: Alex Louis Armstrong, Olivier Mira Armstrong Warning: Mentions of past torture Summary: A younger Olivier is home healing from capture and torture at the hands of Drachma. Her relationship with her family is still broken. The last thing she wants, is to show weakness. So of course Alex finds her at a weak moment, and there’s no way she can refuse his help. Notes: This goes back to a headcanon I have that when she was young, perhaps a Warrant Officer, Olivier went undercover in Drachma. She stayed there for months, until she was found out. Once she was, she was captured, taken to a Drachman prison, and tortured for three days. She was pulled out by a team, but not before she had suffered severe injuries. She was sent back to Central as soon as she was stable enough to recover, and to the Armstrong Mansion. This took place before Ishval. Olivier is a young officer, Alex is in his first year since graduation, working towards his State Alchemist License. See Whumptober 2020 Day 5 for specifics on how Olivier was captured. AO3 || ff.net

_________________________________________

Unlikely Caregiver

Olivier paused, panting for breath as she pulled herself along the forest path. She still had her crutch, but she couldn’t get herself up to use it. Perhaps if she could get to something that she could pull herself up on she could stand and hobble toward the edge of this planted forest on the family property, but—

She flinched as she heard dogs barking again and, while she knew in her head that they were just some of Strongine’s rescues, kept safely pinned up until she could find homes for them, Olivier’s heart jumped, and panic coursed through her.

These were the wrong kinds of trees. This was the wrong season. Those were the wrong kind of dogs. She was in the wrong condition. But it was still a forest. There were still dogs. She was still alone and trying to escape something.

Her heart beat faster, and she resumed her journey, trying to drag herself down the forest path. This wasn’t Drachma. She wasn’t being chased. There weren’t dogs about to set upon her. She wasn’t about to be captured and dragged off to a prison to be tortured. She was home, in her family’s gardens, healing from torture in a Drachman prison.

She pushed on, reaching out with the arm that wasn’t still healing from being broken to pull, and pushing with the unbroken leg to propel herself forward. Her back, still a mess of healing scars from whipping, protested, but they were healed enough that they weren’t a detriment to her. Her abdomen, the muscles still healing from the surgeries they had to do to repair the damage to her lower abdominal organs from the deep stab wound she received, ached and protested, but the fear overruled any thoughts of further damage she might be doing. All she knew was that she had to get out of there. Her panic said to get out before Drachma got her again, and her rational side said to get out because it would help her calm down. She had one focus.

Reach. Push and pull. Reach. Push and pull. Reach. Push and pull. Reach—

“Olivier?”

Her head snapped up, panic threatening to clog her throat again, her hand going to her sword, but she pushed the panic down as best she could. Standing on the path before her was her brother, looking both concerned and perplexed. He had stopped, not coming any closer to her, and he appeared to be waiting for something.

“…Alex,” she said, and it seemed to be what he was looking for.

He made his way over to her, the concern in his expression overriding everything else. “Olivier, are you alright? What happened?”

Mentally, Olivier cursed. She didn’t want him to find her here like this. She didn’t want anyone to find her here like this, but especially not him.

She made no secret of the fact that she resented her brother. Oh, as children she had watched over him as she had all of her siblings. It was her duty as eldest. But she had always resented the way that just him being born a male had stripped her of her birthright, of the inheritance she deserved. She had been kinder when he was younger and didn’t understand. But as he grew older, she had made sure that he understood.

“I just fell,” she said. “I’m f—”

A dog barked again, and it sounded closer. The panic surged again.

Understanding seemed to light in his eyes, and he knelt before her, still in uniform from his day of work. “Olivier, how can I help you?”

His eyes and voice were soft, kind-hearted, and she wanted to curse at him, just to see if it would toughen him up a bit, but she knew that would just be a waste of breath and words and wouldn’t help her at all. “…Help me up. I need to get out of here.”

“Of course,” He nodded, and reached out with strong, gentle hands to help her stand. He helped her to her feet, allowed her to lean on him to get her balance back, handed her the crutch, and then let her go, although he stayed close to her side.

Oliver said nothing. She just focused on walking enough to get out of here. Bad enough that he had found her like that. It would be worse if he saw her panicking more. He, for his part didn’t say anything, just walked beside her.

They finally emerged from the forest, which was like a breath of fresh air. Olivier, energy spent, headed straight for a bench that was nearby. She hobbled to it, practically falling down into it. Alex followed her, sitting beside her. He didn’t say anything and neither did she, not for a long time.

Finally, though, he spoke up. “Are you alright, Sister?” he asked her.

Her default reaction was to say “Of course!” but she found it stuck in her throat. “…I need some water,” she said instead, and he nodded.

“I’ll go fetch some,” he said, and got up without complaint.

It left Olivier there, alone on the bench, and she tried to calm herself down. But her brain was going, and the forest was right there, and she could still hear the dogs. It felt like everything was closing in on her no matter what she said or did. It was getting closer, closer, and then it would take her and deliver her back into his hands and she didn’t think she could do that again. She could feel the cold of the prison, taste the blood and iron in the air, feel the hands setting her up for more torture, the touches, the comments, then—

“Olivier?”

Her head jerked up again, and this time, she couldn’t quite hide the panic she was feeling. Alex was looking down at her with concern, but she couldn’t respond to him. She almost wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t.

He set the water he had down, and reached out to her, taking her hands in his. They were large and warm and strong.

“Olivier,” he said. “Why don’t we get you back to the mansion? We can take some tea there.”

Shakily, she nodded her head, and he took that as leave to help her up. She let him, although she didn’t want him to have to help her. But she needed the support, and she hated it.

Slowly they made their way back to the entrance to the garden. The further away from the forest and the dogs she got, the less panicked she felt. Instead, she started to feel disconnected from everything, and she wasn’t quite sure how to parse it, nor did she have the energy to.

Instead, they walked to the entrance of the gardens. A tea service was already there, no doubt thanks to her brother and his thoughtfulness. He helped her sit down, poured her some tea, pressed something sweet into her hands. He talked about Catherine and her latest escapades. And all the while, he kept concerned eyes on Olivier.

Eventually, she felt as if she were back to herself, although she was very tired and in pain at that point.

“Enough, Alex,” she said. “I don’t need to hear any more of your prattling.”

He stopped. “Of course, Sister. What do you need?”

Normally she would have replied with something sarcastic, or even slightly insulting. But tonight she was too tired to think. “… Rest,” she finally said.

He nodded and stood up. “Then allow me to escort you to your rooms.”

She was too tired to argue. “Fine. Whatever.” She went to stand as well and made it partway up before her good leg gave out under her and she started to fall.

“Sister!” Alex was right there, catching her, and she had to lean on him for a moment before she fought back.

“I’m fine, I just—” she tried taking her own weight back, and she started to fall again. She cursed out loud.

“Please, Olivier, let me help you,” Alex said.

She didn’t like it, but she didn’t see that she had a choice. “Fine.”

He shifted her weight around, letting most of it rest on him, and kept a gentle hand on her waist, just in case she couldn’t handle walking like this. Olivier hated it, but it was better than being carried, and Alex, resent for him or not, was preferable to the rest of her family.

Slowly, they made their way back to her rooms. Alex practically taking all of her weight by the time they got there. She was exhausted, and she collapsed onto the small settee that was in her suite. Alex helped her onto it, and then disappeared further into her rooms. She had no idea what he was doing, but she found that she didn’t care at this moment.

It was only a few minutes later when he returned with a soft nightgown for her. “I took the liberty of going head and turning down you bed,” he said. “You’ve also a glass of water on your nightstand.”

She blinked at him, then with great effort reached out and took the nightgown from him. He dutifully left the room, after making sure that no one else would be accidently barging in on her, and slowly she changed. When she was finished, he came back and helped her to her bed, making sure that she was settled in. After that, he set about cleaning up her clothes and straightening her rooms before returning to her side.

He placed her sword against the nightstand, within reach, the same sword that was supposed to be his, as heir, that she had fought for and won, that meant so much to her. “If you have need of nothing else at the moment, Olivier, I’ll take my leave of you. But if you need me, please, let me know.”

“Whatever, Alex. Leave me be. I’m tried.” Her eyes were still looking at her sword.

He nodded. “As you wish, Sister.”

He left her suite, making sure that the lights were off and low, and Olivier found herself drifting off to sleep as she stared at her sword hilt. She couldn’t help but think about her brother.

She still resented him and what he took from her. She resented him not standing up to their father more and instead speaking up for the traditions. He was soft-hearted, which would cost him. And he expressed his emotions too freely. But he was a good man. He cared about his family. He was principled. He was strong and skilled. She could respect that, at least. She still didn’t think that he deserved to be the heir by virtue of being male alone, but at least he was a good man. There was something to be said for that.

Who knew? If he proved his mettle in the military, perhaps one day they could reach a truce.

[p4ntry-d3m0n]

Crumbling Walls

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Ao3

Chapter 11

Feel free to tell me what you think, I’d love to hear your thoughts and input!!

With being sent back to square one, for the umpteenth time much to the queens’ bitterness, the house got even more tense than before. They wanted to be close to Jane, but it was so goddamn frustrating, and soon fights happened left and right again.It was almost daily, though the queens who could be caught fighting most often were Catherine and Anne, usually about old wounds that were still healing. And while rare, sometimes Anna’s voice could be heard booming throughout the house too.

 It was after the first few arguments that Anna decided to leave when the beginnings of a fight could be heard. Cathy tried to stay in her room, both to avoid getting caught in the crossfire and to come up with ways to help Jane. Kat found herself reverting back to how she was when she reincarnated, quiet and keeping to herself, even avoiding Anna and Anne. When the fights became especially loud, she would run to her room and hide behind her bed, squeezing a pillow tight to her chest and imagine being somewhere else. 

More than once, she had thought about knocking on Jane’s door and asking to stay with her. She didn’t know why, but she never cared to figure it out either.

It was one particular night that Anne and Kat were sitting close on the couch. Anne saw how Kat went back into her shell and tried to offer a movie night between them so that their connection didn’t fall apart. Anne just got to know her cousin, she didn’t wanna lose her. The queens’ family movie nights had dissolved completely, but the beheaded cousins figured continuing the tradition, even if by themselves, was enough for now.

It was tense at first, but they later loosened up and started to feel like they had recently. They laughed and pointed out things in the movies that they found silly, sometimes dramatically lip syncing to what the characters were saying and snickering at each others’ expressions. Then Kat heard the second queen’s laughing cut off and noticed that Anne sat up and was glaring at something behind her. Or rather, someone. Kat turned to see Catherine just entering the kitchen and her mood dropped, sensing an argument brewing. She pulled her knees to her chest and sighed. Things were going so well too. When Catherine came back out with a cup of tea, she saw how Anne was glaring at her and scowled back. And so the fight began.

Kat never knew what to do when she heard the two queens’ shouting from her room. She always froze. She couldn’t handle it when they got loud like that, not when they reincarnated and not now. It brought too many memories of when Henry would scream, of the shouting when she was brought out to be beheaded. The fifth queen covered her ears to block out the sound as much as she could, looking towards the hallway to see if she could exit without being noticed. She thought she saw movement, but then she heard Anne’s voice boom and felt fear rush through her body. Kat started to shake and her mind was going fuzzy. Then there was another shout and everything went silent.

It took a while for Kat to calm down enough to comprehend what happened, but she looked up at Catherine and Anne and how they were staring at something behind her, shocked and slightly scared. Turning to see what made them go silent, the fifth queen saw Jane seething and glaring at her predecessors. She was trembling, but none of them, not even the blonde herself, knew if it was from rage or fear. Jane took a quick breath to regain some patience before briskly walking towards Catherine and Anne. The two flinched when she was in front of them, but the third queen just separated them and gave them a stern glare.

“For royalty, I thought you would know how to behave. Clearly not.” Anne made an indignant sound and Catherine opened her mouth to say something, though they quickly backed down when Jane narrowed her eyes. She sighed and gave them another scathing look. “You know better than to cause such loud and unnecessary arguments when everyone here has issues with all the screaming.”

She glanced at the fifth queen still sitting with her knees to her chest and her hands partially up to cover her ears, and she looked concerned for a brief moment before her eyes flashed with anger. Jane began glaring at the two previously arguing queens and angrily gestured to Kat. “Look at what you two did, the poor girl’s terrified!”

Catherine and Anne had the decency to look ashamed as they averted their eyes to the floor. And so when Anna came home and Cathy came out of her room to investigate why she stopped hearing the two queens fight so abruptly, they and Kat found themselves watching Jane scolding Catherine and Anne as if a mother would scold her children. Both of them looked ashamed, sheepish, and mildly embarrassed once they noticed they had an audience. When Jane was done, she glanced over at the other three queens and they tensed a bit, thinking that they were gonna be next. Instead, the blonde just sighed and looked back at her predecessors, gesturing towards the others. 

“Apologize. Apologize to each other and the others for causing so many disturbances. Don’t think I haven’t heard them.”

Catherine and Anne looked at each other with reluctance before the former sighed and crossed her arms, gritting out a bitter apology. She tensed slightly when she heard Jane’s stern voice speak up. “Like you mean it, Aragon.” The first queen turned to look at her with irritation, but paused when she saw cold blue eyes glaring at her. “You’re an adult, a former lady of court, not a child, so act like it.” 

Looking embarrassed, Catherine quickly nodded before looking Anne in the eyes and, much more genuinely, apologized. The second queen was slightly amused, but cleared her throat when Jane started to set her glare on her. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have lashed out when you didn’t deserve it,” Anne said. The first queen was surprised to see genuine remorse in Anne’s eyes. She nodded and the two looked to Jane, who seemed pleased.

Jane gestured towards the other queens standing off to the side, and Catherine and Anne felt guilt run through them when they saw the others looking at them with caution. “We’re sorry. We never should’ve put any of you through all the yelling and fighting when we had resolved our issues already,” Catherine said. Anne nodded and continued. “We know what it’s like too. To be scared of it. We know that and yet we subjected all of you to hearing it. We’re so sorry.” A moment of silence before Anna puts a hand on her hip and gives a sigh. “Well, it’s about damn time,” she said. The first two queens were worried at her tone, but relaxed when they saw Anna smile with a joking look in her eyes. They couldn’t help but smile in relief when Kat and Cathy relaxed and came over.

The third queen smiled a little before clearing her throat, gathering the other queens’ attention. She pointed at the couch behind them and said, “Sit.” They all looked at her in confusion, baffled by Jane’s unexpected order. She raised a brow at them and they quickly scrambled to the couch, not wanting to make the woman mad after seeing her with Catherine and Anne earlier.

Jane nodded, slightly amused at how quickly the queens moved, and tossed the blanket at them before making her way to the kitchen. The others were more than a little confused and surprised with the third queen. They had never seen her this way, to make demands and be so assertive. Most of them had assumed she was fairly meek and not very headstrong, but not anymore.

The queens noticed a sweet smell drifting from the kitchen to the living room and soon Jane came out with a few mugs. When she handed them to Catherine, Anne, and Cathy, they recognized it to be hot chocolate. Before they could thank her, Jane had already made her way back to the kitchen to get more. She took extra care with Anne and Kat’s, as she felt that she had hurt them the most with her distance. 

As the blonde gave the beheaded queens their hot chocolate, she mostly avoided eye contact. Jane froze when Anne softly thanked her and flicked her gaze to her predecessor’s. Anne seemed to be just as nervous. She didn’t want Jane to close in on herself again, but her breath hitched when Jane gave a series of taps, the same as when she had carried Anne to her bed when all of the queens fell asleep on the couch. Anne hadn’t known Jane knew about that.

Moving on, Jane gave Kat her hot chocolate and allowed herself a small smile when the fifth queen thanked her. She rearranged the blanket around the queens a bit so it was more secure and got up to leave when Anne excitedly let out a small gasp and said, “This is the longest you’ve ever talked to us!” Jane blinked in surprise and then felt her face flush. It was embarrassing that her distance and aloofness was so much that this was the longest interaction she’d ever had with her fellow queens. She did have to pause, though. This was the longest she’d talked with them other than when they had all just reincarnated.

And surprisingly, she didn’t even feel scared.

But of course, as soon as she acknowledged it, her mind began to panic and terror began to fill her from head to toe. Jane’s hands began to shake, but she quickly did her best to stifle it and hide it from the others. This is progress, she told herself. She thought of how to respond to Anne. “Yes. Yes, I suppose it is,” she awkwardly settled on. Jane went to turn and walk back to her room and paused. Turning back to the queens, she mumbled, “I am trying, you know.” The others could hear the uncertainty in her tone and realized that Jane must have been trying as much as they were, if not harder.

She had only gotten a few steps closer to the hallway when she heard an almost meek “thanks, Jane.” The queens saw her look back at Kat, at them, with a blank face and felt a pit in their stomach. They hoped they didn’t just go back to square one. Then they saw Jane smile and she softly said, “You’re welcome, Kat.” As she left the room, the other queens felt a surge of emotion rise. That was the first time she had ever smiled at them and it was genuine. The fifth queen felt a little more emotion than the rest, though.

That was the first time Jane had called her Kat.

[shortyisweird9]

'Lonely ghost serie'

"Babysitting is hard when you ,yourself, are a gremlin, baby"-part V

Tw⚠️: swearing, angsty vibes ( I think)

Your body moved in distress, turning the sheets all over as you left out a gasp of terror, your face clenching in pain. You have a nightmare, a usual occurrence that happens when you are stressed. Having such a big imagination, your dreams/ nightmares came vividly, with excruciating details. You could see them in colour however the images were blurry, hazy almost.

This nightmare was about Fatima, the sketch artist from up top. She was a senior here and usually the person in this block turned for guidance, relief and peace. She was from the South part of Sudan, fact that she lets it known by her traditional style fashion, her food and her drinks and the occasionally loud conversations she has with her folks back home. A peaceful artist with beautiful brown skin with yellow undertones, an oval face with a big smile plastered on it and shinning black orbs. An angel in disguise that you often seek when the world proved too much for you. Fatima never really showed her own worries and fears but you were one of the privileged few who did see her at her lowest, an experience that motivated you , scared you and hurt you. The amount of times your heart clenched those times matched with how many tears left her orbs.

You were ejected vertically on your bottom as your mouth left a silent scream, tears dropping from your eyes but you didn't have time to think it over since loud noises came from upstairs,Fatima's room. In your paranoid state you didn't question the musicality of the sounds ,chosing to ran out the door ,slapping it shut and jumping two steps each time till you reached her door.

Fatima was enjoying her second favourite types of music, Afro-Latina songs when a storms of pounds hit her door. Confused and terrified, she grabbed the nearby mop before she opened the door. It was just you.

You stood there in black shorts made from former leggings to long for your short legs, white ripped shirt stained with old paint from when you helped her renovate and messy long hair and tear filled puffy eyes.

"Y/n! My girl ,what happened?"

There she was, with a long white fit dress that ended in a curve at the start of her feet and silver grey hijab wrapped around her head. She look energised despite being 5 in the mornina Most importantly she was Most importantly, she was safe, unharmed and happy.

Your noise picked up the aroma of her handmade mix of tea that filled the textile of her dressing where now your head rest as your body convulse in a breakdown again. Shocked and confused, she wasn't stopped however from showing you the comfort your soul may need.

She caressed your long hair and rubbed your back as you two sat on the white tiles of the entrance. The door long close by her other roommate, Catherine Blank - a 26 years old from Dublin.

On Fatima's commends, the red haired freckled woman brought you a knitted blanket and a cup of water. Her hands found their way on your cheeks when you finally calmed down,rubbing them on your wet skin as you drank the water. Your eyes fell down in shame for disturbing them.

You didn't know why it happened. Just two hours ago you finished talking with Corpse and went over your notes one last time.

You seemed fine, too busy for any bad thoughts to bug you or anything such as. Yet here you are.

"Jesus ,girl. You scared us." Came the heavy accent voice of Catherine.

You looked at her standing in black leggings and a black top, skinny hands on round hips and a scowl of worry on her square face. Green eyes softening when they met yours.

"I..um..."

"You don't have to tell us right now, sweet girl. Come, let's enjoy each other with some select songs."

You all three burst in laughter at the ridiculous pompous tonality Fatima chose to express herself with.

You followed, grasping the extended hand of Catherine as Fatima rearrange the blanket around your tattoos covered body.

————————————————————

It was morning when you finally return back into your apartment. The door closed itself with a heavy thud that resonated within the insides of your shaky lungs. You calmed down significantly since that explosive outburst of fears and terrors.

You cleaned your eyes as the light of the morning painted you in a sick look: eyes blood shot, red nose, puffy face and pale skin. You looked like you died and came back alive, well maybe a fragment of your sanity died tonight who knows? Your shredded sigh echoed in the empty apartment ,the others already gone to work/university. Essentially you were alone. Again.

You cleaned your eyes as the light of the morning painted you in a sick look: eyes blood shot, red nose, puffy face and pale skin.

You looked like you died and came back alive, well maybe a fragment of your sanity died tonight who knows? Your shredded sigh echoed in the empty apartment ,the others already gone to work/university. Essentially you were alone. Again.

Your soul long desired the touch of another: to be grasp tightly and lovely by their hands, to be enveloped in their smell as they whisper sweet nothings into your ears, to have their warmth dry your tears, to bring comfort to your pain. You resigned years ago that you were never meant to experience this sessions, merely observed them. But your heart craved them and craving it did, as you watched in fake disgust the romantic displays in Ace's romances.

Right now, after crying your eyes out, your burns needed that comfort, needed that care and love but again you were denied of them, you can only thank yourself for that.

The cup was slapped in foolish fury as you tossed some hot water in it. The tea bag falling towards the end of the cup.

Three knocks were heard at the door and you curiously turned, cup left forgotten.

Opening the door, Omar was standing there with a little albino boy with clear big blue eyes and curly locks. He was wearing a red blue and white checkered shirt with beige church pants. He smelled nice ,his cologne hitting your your long narrow nose immediately after opening the door.

You raised a brow as he sheepishly smiled.

"Nice kid."

"Thanks."

Then silence.

You continued drinking your tea,staring at the man who finally realised that you didn't know the motive of his visit.

"Alma didn't tell you?"

"What?"

"She said you agreed to watch over Tj today."

Wait.

Your panicked grew was your eyes turned to the calendar to the right of you. There in bold yellow numbers the day of 5th November was left clear with the exception of being circled over with a gold marker.

"Shit ,it was today? I mean ...fuck. Sorry, Omar. It totally slip my mind."

The man laughed ,his brown eyes were warm and forgiving, no offense taken by your skip of mind.

"It's fine,Y/n. So it's alright if I leave this little guy with you for a bit?"

"Y-Yeah. But I don't have-"

As Omar entered the hallway, a grey bag you previously not seen was by the door , you picked it up before going to the living room.

He sat the kid dressed in a sailor white and navy blue stripped t-shirt and light grey sweatpants on one of the sit of your 1970s floral printed sectional sofa.

The kid was making sounds and hand gestures ,wanting to be picked up again by his father who was busy speaking with the 159cm tall woman.

"Tj here is a big of a love bug, get him to like you and you can't go anywhere anymore. Just like his mother I suppose. "

"Does he have any..um..food preference I should know about?"

"Um...Wait, Alma left you a notebook, ah well not you but me. Here ,it should have anything you will need. Again,thank you so much for doing this Y/n."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it." You said ,flipped the pages of the hard back notebook. Luckily Alma had a neat writing.

"Well, I need to go now. Be nice, little guy. "

Omar bent down to kiss his son's forehead, a sign of goodbye. The child stared at his father with a confuse look as he bubbled nonsense. His tiny hand reaching for the leaving figure.

Omar left soon after ,waving bye-bye to his son and almost kissing your forehead as a habit he picked up since he got together with Alma, their form of goodbye.

You stood there, staring at each other as the kid started to laugh and throw his toy at you. You caught it, he will throw it again and so forth.

You were tired however and knew the boy with too much energy will not be easily manipulated into sleeping. Opening the TV to the kid's cartoon channel , you settled on the opposite couch ,eyes falling victim to tiredness.

----------------------------------------------

You must have been asleep 2 hours and so begore the loud crys woke you up.

Crys? Shittt! The kid.

Shooting out of your crouched position, you ignore the stirring pain of your sudden movement. Your legs' thud brought the attention of the crying mop of hair.

A wrenches smell filled your nostrils as your dread grew when you realised where its source came from. Looks like it's time to change a diaper. Oh ,man!

With a mask over your nose, hair tied behind your back and gloves you started changing the boy in the bathroom, you cleaned and washed him and brought him back on the layed blanket on the couch. Your disgust grew as you cleaned the sink and disinfect it.

You groaned as you threw your equipment in the bin, a bing didn't let your stomach cringe at the memory of the smell. It was a message from Corpse.

'Hey :)'

You smiled, quickly texting him back.

'Hey!"

'Up to play something today?'

'A new stream? You just finished one tomorrow, I don't want you to burn yourself out.'

'<3 But no, I mean to play together in private, just the two of us.'

You wanted to text him back, teasing him with the proposition of a date but the sounds of broking glass was heard from the living room.

With a scream , you quickly typed out :' Cant baby in troble.!'

The kid was fine thankfully , grinning and laughing at your panicked state. What was not fine was the white porcelain vase with blue florals Sabrina brought for her collection. She wouldn't be mad per say but she wouldn't be happy either.

The kid ,now standing to ran around the room ,using the coffee table to his advantage, your legs screaming from the workout. Luckily the broken vase was behind you away from the child.

Unfortunately, your phone started to ring. Who the fuck would call me now? Oh! It's Corpse. Wait..Corpse!

"H-hey Corpse ! What are you - come here you little block of swiss cheese."

The man laughed as the phone's speaker vibrated on your right ear where you lodged it.

Tj laughed innocently as you grabbed him and hold him to your left hip. Your hair,nerves and mood all a mess.

"A-Are you okay?" Corpse asked after recovering from the fit of laughter.

"Me? Oh ,sure. I have a gremlin here who's more trouble than his worth. Hey! Stop that!"

The happy face of Tj turned in a cringy crying one as he wailed. Apparently you wanting to stop him chewing on your white banda, tightly nicely on the top of your head ,was too much.

"Sounds like trouble. By the way, you called me?"

"I did?"

Your eyebrows clenched as you look at your calls history,you did actually. The icon of the call must have been press on accident or that it was a sign from the universe that you are in dire need of assistance.

"Y-yeah. Look, Corpse l-I gotta go. I will call you-"

And you stopped, your breath becoming more fast as your nose flared.

"Um ghost? Are you...Are you there?"

"Stay on the line,Corpse. This kid just pissed on me."

With that another wave of laughter hit the man as he thrown himself into the chair.

----------------------------------------------

Finally, you changed the damn brat after cleaning him again and taking a shower yourself. You left a breath as you watched the chil playing with his blue rocket toy.

"Babysitting is much harder than the films makes it out to be." You grumbled, pouting as you listened to Corpse's chuckles.

They managed to calm you enough to turn the intimidating glare you had plastered all over your face into a more stern one.

Your body dressed in a clean pair of white jeans short, black tank top and blue checkered shirt over, leaned on the frame of the door. You were waiting for the milk to heat up, luckily the boy was only a month away from being an year old so you could give him cow milk without worrying.

"Babysitting is hard when you ,yourself, are a gremlin, baby." He said ,his voice making you visibly tingle.

You sighed, placing the phone near the wooden bread box and grabbing a cup. By now the milk should have warmed up.

"Um...goofball?"

"Yes,Corpse?"

"You...you are not wearing your voice changer. I..I am sorry, I should have told you from the start but I like the s-sound of it ,I didn't want it to stop."

You could hear the beads of his bracelets as he played with them, nervously waiting for your response.

"I-It's okay, Corpse. You don't need to be sorry."

You swallowed, this day really came for your neck. Your eyes stung as you fight them off, no reason to make Corpse's day shittier by being pathetic.

"You are not fine ,are you goofball?"

The kind and worried tone of this wonderful individual you became to take a liking of was enough to cause everything in you to break loose.

"N-No ,it's not. Everything been so fucking stressful and I-I don't know what to do Corpse. I try my might to fight these thoughts but everytime they resurface stronger and more disturbing. I can't keep them in control, Corpse. I just CAN'T. A-And I keep worrying about losing all: my friends, my belongings and my family. I feel like I will drive them away especially if I can't bring my share to the table. I don't even know why I tell you these to be honest, I don't want to scare you away but in the same time I ... FUCK!"

Your fists hit the table you been resting on hard , scaring the child in the living room. His cries only angered you more.

"Ghost. Ghost! Ghost! Gho-"

"WHAT?"

You instantly regretted shouting at him,stopping from your pacing too.

"Calm down,buttercup. I know how you feel and going down a warpath or an abyss of sorrows ain't the answer. Come, let me help. "

"You still want to?" Your voice came out timidly and shying away in fear, shielding your eyes in shame despite him having no possible way of seeing your face.

"Of course, you goof. Now let's see what we do with that kid."

You swiped a tear out of your right eyes ,smiling and nodding before remembering he couldn't see, just hear you. That made you more anxious now that you realised that he knows a close guarded information.

————————————————————

A smile ran down your face as you watched the child all wrapped up in his dark blue blanket struggle to jeep his bright eyes opened as his ears and energy were captured by Corpse's singing. It's was a lullaby about moon and love, being in Spanish you only understood unfortunately the words close to your mother language.

You almost lost yourself to the gentle hums , stringing of a guitar and over all wholesome cozy atmosphere when loud voices and thumbs came from the apartment near Fatima's.

An idiot called Tudor who plays the bass part in Sergiu's band lived there, he and his boyfriend Micah. Two assholes who had a bone to pick with everyone, well more like Tudor had ,Micah was a follower.

The sense of protection enveloped you as you caressed the child's hair and kiss his right temple, letting him with Corpse to fall asleep.

Your grey flippers cracked against the stone stairs harshly and quickly. Your glare being as cold as the staircase room.

You knocked furiously on the door, hurting your hands by the metal indentations carved into the door. Your ears picked up footsteps approaching the door in a lazy manner, the two making jokes about what kind of bitch could be bothering them.

The smirk on his long face vanished when his pale blue eyes meet your fiery dark ones. He puffed a lock of dirty blond hair , saluting you in a cocky but intimidated manner :

"I wonder why the Red Riding Hood is paying us a visit? What do you think ,Micah?"

He leaned back to let his dark skinned boyfriend take a look at you. His eyes showed fear but he continued the masquerade in order to please his scumbag of a lover.

"I don't know, babe. Maybe she wants a threesome."

Tudor laughed like then pig he is, Micah lipped an apology to you, his black gems cowering in shame.

Micah wasn't a bad man , he was just naive and a people's pleaser, with no sense of stern morals but even awareness to know he is the wrong. You never understood why he wasted his breath by staying at the side of this buffoon of a dude. You ignored his half-cocked insults, knowing they didn't really had a backbone to them.

"I will appreciate if you could tone it down a little. No one needs to know you two are making a sex tape."

This seemed to anger the taller white as mayonnaise man who dismissed his boyfriend with a wave of his painted hand and moved forward to you. The red door of his apartment shutting up with an echo.

You two glared at each other, not one of the other backing down. Your breath was forcefully calmed down by your anger , last thing you needed is for him to know he was affecting you by coming too close. Your hands shook in their tight grip and you were pleased you cut your nails earlier.

"Just because Sergiu lets you come with us when we play, doesn't mean you and I are friends. Got it, girly?"

His rough tone only displeased you.

"And just because you can string two cords and not sound like a dying cat doesn't mean you are a great singer either, buddy."

"Fuck you." He said that to you in a clasped breath, his teeth biting on his lower lip as his face appeared more furious.

If this motherfucker puts his hands on me ,I swear I will...

"Y/N? Y/N!"

It was Sergiu.

The man in a punk style leather jacket ran quickly up the stairs, his armored black boots clicking away.

His face was twisted into a fearing expression before turning into a more pissed off one. He knew of Tudor's dislike towards you and knew that the both of you won't hold back if this turns physical. He needed to be smart about this.

"Man, come on. Leave her alone."

He moved to come between you ,Tudor's movement of hand stopped him.

"Nah,man. This bitch thinks she come here like she owns the fucking place and tell me what to do? I am sorry, princess, but you got another thing going. "

"TUDOR ISAAC POPESCU!"

A female voice caused his blood to ran cold and you to smirk.

Behind Sergiu, a petite woman in her mid fifties glared at him. Her greying hair caught in a bun,her olive wrinkled face was in a madden frown as her blue eyes shield by fuchsia framed glasses stared at him. The madame in green suit pants and white and black blouse was his mother.

His mother, a teacher at your University, was a lioness of a woman, never detour from the right path of doing things and more importantly never afraid to tear down anyone if they being dickish. Not even her loved son.

Sergiu grabbed gently you without a word as you two left the mother and son quarrel in peace, a part of you already starting to feel bad. You hate when you argued with someone but your anger sometimes got the better of you. Today truly has been an exhausting day.

————————————————————

You are in your room,Corpse still on the phone with you. You already explained what happened and know you enjoyed just talking with him about everything and nothing at the same time,trying to not fall asleep for how calming his voice was.

"You sure you don't want me to end the call. You must be tired from all the noises. "

You stirred, cleaning the droll of your left wnd of your lips. Your head ache as you saw that night has befallen.

"Wh-What?"

"Goofball,I was talking if you wanted me to let you rest but you already beat me to it."

"T-Tj?"

"Your friends said they will take care of them. They were so surprised to find me singing to him, though."

"Ah,shit. Sorry Corpse."

"Nothing to be sorry about, pumpkin. "

"Pumpkin, seriously?" You asked ,snuggling back into the comforter.

"Yeah, why not? The fall season is still up for a month or so."

"Hmm, I prefer goofball better."

"If you say so, princess. You *yawn* you sure you don't want me to let you sleep?"

A panick arised into your soul as you quickly told him no.

"P-Please stay."

"A-Alright."

He began to continue the story one of his subscribers send him as your eyes shut. A smile on your lips at last.

————————————————————

Hey,guys!💖

Hope you enjoyed the fifth part of the serie. It was a roller coaster to write.

Anyway, stay safe!💗

Tagged💖:@moolujk @magenta-skyline @yikesyikesyikes95 @simonsbluee @cherry-piee @yoyoanaria @gaysludge @mythicalamphitrite

[just-the-hiddles]

Writer’s Spotlight | myoxisbroken

Happy hump day, peeps!  This week’s spotlight is the queen of a historical fic, AU or canon.  The maven of food porn in a fic. And the reigning champ of teasing me with smut @myoxisbroken​ !  Let’s dive in!!

The Basics

MASTERLIST HERE

Any other names you want people to call you?

Miss Ox, myox, whatever you feel like!

How long have you been writing fic?

2 years.

What fandoms and/ships do you write?

MCU (Loki, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes), other Tom Hiddleston characters (Pine, Conrad, Sharpe, Buxton, Nicholls, Plumptre, and ever-growing), and just branching out into Pedro Pascal with The Mandalorian; I also have a few Doctor Who fics in my Masterlist (Ten/Donna Noble)

How did you get started writing fic?

I was reading a ton of Doctor Who fic and enjoying the Doctor/River Song stories. Then I rewatched DW season 4 and was so depressed about Donna's ending that I immediately watched the David Tennant/Catherine Tate version of Much Ado About Nothing. And then I started to ship the Tenth Doctor and Donna.

So I read a bunch of their fic and thought, "You know what would be awesome? If someone wrote a WW2 AU where Donna's a single mother and the Doctor is an injured fighter pilot that she takes in as a boarder." And then I started to get snippets of dialogue in my head, and ideas for scenes, and I wondered if I might be able to write a story myself. I hadn't written anything in years, but I decided to give it a try. And a few months later, I had my first story completed, a 14-chapter Doctor Who AU.

 After that, I had the writing bug and I haven't been able to stop coming up with ideas and working to put them into words!

Story Recommendations

Which of your stories are your favorite?

It is honestly so hard to choose. I'm only going to choose completed works, because I always love the WIPs I'm working on. So, let's see: You Bring Me Home is one of them, because it was so fun to just jump into a sexy vacation romp with some playful kink exploration for James Conrad (Kong: Skull Island). With Brooding Wings was my first attempt at a vampire story using multiple Tom Hiddleston characters, and I really enjoyed playing with the dynamics of different personalities and settings in that world. 

 In A Restless World Like This Is is another, because I had such a great time writing a fluffy love story for Steve Rogers and an older OFC. It started as a spite project because of someone's objections to older characters and turned into such a lovely experience. It was one of the easiest I've ever written in terms of how quickly it flowed from my brain through my fingers. I'd loved writing for Loki (An Excellent Suggestion was my first Loki story, and my first time writing smut) and for Bucky (We Are All Victims of Physics Sometimes was my first dip into capturing Bucky's quiet reserve and depth of emotion).

I honestly could go on and on about stories but would only sound more conceited.

Which story are you most proud of?

I think A Pursuit of the Heart. It was my first time writing in the Regency/Georgian era, and I did a TON of research for it. It was also my first novel-length story, and I didn't even know if I could take on something that big or write a historical romance convincingly, in a way that felt era-appropriate and true. I was so proud of the finished product.

Which of your stories do you think is the most underrated?

Let Your Heart Be Light, a Bucky/OFC story with a Christmas theme - its companion piece, Kissing The New Year In, also didn't get much traction. But I loved writing them!

Someone is new to reading your stories, which story/stories should they read first?

It depends on what actors and characters they like, really, as well as if they like smut or fluff or both. For a smutty one-shot, I'd recommend An Excellent Suggestion (which has a one-shot sequel). For a swoonier longer fic with smut, I'd recommend either You Bring Me Home or my fake relationship Steve Rogers fic The One Thing You Can't See. 

For fluff, An Unforeseen Outcome is a Loki one-shot with both fluff and a little emotional hurt/comfort. Interestingly, I've written more not-smut fluff for Loki than for any other character. I think I just want him to find connection and love and acceptance so much. 

And if you are a fan of historical romance, I'd recommend either my Thomas Sharpe AU A Compromising Situation, or if you like your fics with a healthy dose of angst, Beside Us When Beauty Brightens, my William Buxton (Return to Cranford) story about what happens after he loses Peggy.

Which Story did you do the most research for?

A Pursuit of the Heart, since it was my first one set in the Georgian era and I had a lot of catching up to do! I research for most of my stories, and definitely for my multi-chapter stories. Even if they're contemporary, I still look up resorts, locations, restaurants and local foods, things to do, etc. I can't help it. It's like I'm addicted to research.

Which Story was the easiest to write?

For a multi-chapter fic, In A Restless World Like This Is. For a one-shot, probably my Loki Christmas fluff All I Want For Christmas Is You.

The Writing Process

What is your favorite part of writing?

When a scene I've had in my head just flies out of my fingers and onto the page, and I can read it back and think, "YES! That's just how I wanted it!"

What is your least favorite part?

When my brain is too scattered and unfocused to actually allow me to do any writing.

Describe your style in 1 to 2 sentences.

Well-researched stories that use the information to make you feel like you're there and that incorporate sweetness into even the smuttiest scenario. Also, food porn, and porn porn.

Who are some of your writing idols and/or influences?

For published novels, Mary Balogh and Sabrina Jeffries are two of my favorite historical romance writers, and I think that reading them has helped to make my writing better. In terms of fic authors (some of whom are also published), @nildespirandum​ and @caffiend-queen were two of the first I read in the Tom/Loki fandom and their excellent quality and intriguing plots are an inspiration, even if I will never be able to write plots as twisty as theirs. Also, reading @yespolkadotkitty​'s stories helped me push myself to get better at setting scenes and at incorporating the various senses into stories, because she is so good at both of those things and so much else.

What programs do you use to write and/or edit?

I use Google Docs. I have also been dancing around buying Scrivener for an original novel I plan to write and shop around, so I'll be doing that soon.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

Plotter, for sure. My brain would implode if I tried to pants my stories.

Do you write RPF or not?

I have a few chapters of a Tom Hiddleston RPF in draft form but haven't proceeded with it. I'd kind of like to write a Pedro Pascal RPF one-shot. I love reading RPF but feel odd about writing it for some reason.

Who is your favorite character to write and why?

Again with the tough questions! It might be Loki, because he is such a chameleon and there are so many hidden depths to him. I really want to write some multi-chapter Loki stories, because so far I have done one-shots and one 3-chapter short fic. I'd like to explore a longer character arc for him.

What do you think are your writing strengths?

Authenticity because of my research, realistically depicting emotions, and writing in a style that feels genuine to the setting and era.

What do you struggle with?

PLOT. I do think that there is plenty of room for all kinds of stories, and I like to tell stories about relationships. But I would like to get better at adding outside conflict and other types of plot to my stories.

Favorite Trope?

It's so hard to choose between There Was Only One Bed and Fake Relationship. I think those are my top two.

What is the best piece of writing advice you have heard?

Write something. Anything. Even if you think it's crap, get your first draft done, because you can always go back and rewrite something that's bad and make it better. Also, if you're stuck on your WIP, write something else - a piece of another story or one-shot, a description of something you saw, a character profile, a bit of personal journaling. Keep writing and don't let a temporary roadblock turn into a long-term one.

What would you say to a new fanfic writer starting out?

It's hard when something you wrote doesn't get a lot of attention, especially when you love it. We share stories in the hopes that other people will discover and enjoy them, but you have to at least partly do it for your own satisfaction, or it will get pretty discouraging if the likes/kudos, comments, and reblogs just don't happen.

What is a random bit of research you have not managed to work into a fic yet?

Ladies' drawers (underwear) were not commonly worn until the mid-1800s. They were thought to be gentlemen's garments and it was thus vulgar for a lady to wear them. Yes, ladies of the Georgian (incl. Regency) era were generally commando beneath their skirts, petticoats, and shifts. But that was still a lot of layers.

Any goals or WIPs you want to share?

My goal is to write an original novel (series) set during the Napoleonic Wars. My hope is to get it researched, written, and put in final draft form so that I can send query letters out before the end of 2021.

This or That

Fluff or Angst

Fluff AND Smut

Reader Insert or  OC

Canon Divergent or AU

Pepsi or Coke (Neither: Cherry Coke Zero)

Coffee or Tea (Neither: Cocoa)

Sweet AND Savory

And that is it, until next week, remember to check out the masterlist here.  And your new fav fic is just around the corner!  Until next time, toodles!

[aikrus]

Your Reply

Pairing: T. Iida x Reader Rating: 15+ Words: 4k289 Warnings: Reference of Alcohol, and angst  Requested by: No one, but requests are open! Summary: The story of Iida’s summer before UA, and how love isn’t always a good thing.

      QUIRK: Soul Beam

   The summer before high school was a fever dream that Y/n never wanted to wake up from. The sweat sticking to her skin was only ever washed away from the storms that passed through her life- note: even the pools she submerged herself in never removed the glistening water from her body because sometimes water needs a little force behind it in order to cleanse you. 

The gold and purple sunsets are passing memories that she wants to desperately hold on to. No taste will be quiet like the pancakes she had eaten, and no smell will ever replace that of the sweater she stole (despite overheating every time she wore it).

Scars are a painful reminder of what she went through, and it takes a little to see them as a badge of honor, but the help she received only made it re-open in the long run. 

Tire swings will never be the same, and that stupid song is still on the radio- as if it wasn’t playing enough in her head. Y/n used to think she was strong, but now that’s barely believable. Ice cream cones and train rides have a hidden meaning that will only ever be known by her and it hurts to know that no one can help her mourn a love that never happened.

--------------

The first question was asked when the summer started. It was next to a moving van that was a beacon calling out to everyone on the street it was parked on. The well-off neighborhood was full of upstanding citizens who wanted nothing more than to welcome the newest member with open arms. 

It was that beacon that called the Iida family over to the driveway. But as Tenya walked with his brother and parents, he wondered if the bright beacon that drew him in was the moving truck of the bright smile of the teen girl, happily grabbing boxes of things to bring inside. 

“Hello! We’re the Iida family, this is my husband, and these are my two son’s, Tensei and Tenya. Welcome to the neighborhood!” The wife smiled kindly at the mother.

“Thank’s for coming out! This is my husband, Y/d/n, and my daughter Y/n. We’re really looking forward to joining the neighborhood,”  to the untrained eye this looked like any normal greeting, but Y/n knew better. She could see the subtle glances her mom threw at her. She was trying to say how cute the younger boy was. It received a light chuckle and an eye-roll from her daughter.

“Tenya,” The Iida’s father said, clasping him on the shoulder, “Why don’t you go help Y/n with her boxes?”

“Yes, sir,” he said, walking over to the moving truck.

“You can just grab that one if it’s not too heavy,” she pointed at a medium side box labeled ‘Knickknacks’. He hummed in agreement and followed her up into her room, noting the aesthetic that she surrounded herself in.  

---------------------

A knock echoed through the newly-decorated house, alerting the present family members of a visitor. 

“Not it,” Y/n’s dad said, pressing his finger to his noes; her mother follows suit.

“You guys are literal children,” Y/n groaned, forcing herself off the couch she had grown ever so attached to.  Grumpily, she made her way to the door.

“Oh hey! Iida, right?” Y/n said, recognizing the boy that had already been in her room.

“Yes! That’s me. I uh,” he scratched the back of his neck nervously, “I was heading down to the boardwalk, and I wanted to know if you would like to come with me?” 

Truth be told this wasn’t his idea. His mother had been pressuring him for days in hopes to grow closer to the new family. It wouldn’t be long until they realized the Iida’s are a line of hero’s, and she wanted to get close to them before they found out.

“Oh,” Y/n replied, suddenly thinking of the clothes she was currently wearing. While her tie-dye shorts and loose t-shirt weren't anything to be ashamed of, they were not ‘paint the town red’ clothes. 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to!” Tenya said, suddenly embarrassed that he randomly invited a girl his age to hang out with him. 

“No! I’ll gladly go, just give me a few minutes to get changed. Come inside,” Y/n had said, opening the door wider for him before racing upstairs. 

--------------------

       Iida walked slightly behind the girl he was supposed to show around. It was a cliché, but she was mesmerizing. Her hair bounced with every step, and she walked like she had a purpose, and the end goal was in mind and she would stop at nothing to get there. 

She looked like she was made of honey and sugar and a taste would give him a cavity. The beams of the sun projected from her eyes like the cosmos and it made him want to fall in- knowing full well that drifting through the endless space would never cease to amaze him.

“Do you think they sell corn-dogs here?” 

“Huh? oh!” He blushed, before pointing ahead, “Yeah, there’s one right by the docks.”

“Well then what are we waiting for?” She smiled and leaned closer to Iida. “Let's hurry!” There was a burst of light laughter in her voice, as she grabbed his hand and ran off. What was he doing here?

--

When they reached the end of the docks- corn dogs in hand- they say on the bench which over-looked the sea. Night had fallen while they were out, Y/n becoming absorbed in learning as much as she can about where she moved to.

As she looked out to the wine-light sky, she wondered if she could swim to it. The horizon looked so close, like just reaching out a little further would put it in her grasp. It wasn’t until Tenya’s hand grabbed her shoulder that she realized she really was leaning forward.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked, eyebrows pulled together.

“Yeah!” She smiled, snapped out of her thoughts,. “Just day-dreaming,”

“We should get you back home,” He said, before looking back to the water. 

She saw his glasses, they reflected the golden hue of the sunset, and the beautiful purple that fought underneath it. She saw all the beauty in the world in his eyes, all that was good and right- was all in front of her. He was the sunset, he was the horizon she so desperately wanted to get to.  

“Hey, Iida?” Y/n asked, swinging her legs back and forth under the bench. 

“What is it?” He said, looking over to her face- which didn’t turn to see him.

“Stupid question- but an icebreaker; if you could have anyone in the world- living or dead- over to yours for dinner, who would it be?” she blushed a little, but kept a calm face.

He knew the answer as soon as she finished the sentence, but there was no need to tell someone he just met the name of the girl he had been in love with for years- so all he said was, “Probably Catherin The Great, she had a few political opinions I’d like to hear about first hand,”

“Hmm, I can see you two bonding over tea,” She smirked, standing up from her seat, “Let’s get home.”

Tenya nodded, walking beside Y/n- thinking about her.

----------------------------------------------------------------

        A month had passed, and the little interactions the two families had resulted in the Iida’s inviting them over for breakfast. Y/n had woken up early to get dressed. She pulled her hair into a ponytail, harshly shaking it so the baby hairs would fall out. She threw on a form-fitting sweater and yoga-pants. Despite wanting to look like it’s a casual mornings- she did apply some casual makeup to make herself look a little more awake. 

It was stupid- she knows- but Y/n really just wanted to look a tiny bit better when he sees her again. Looking in the mirror, she wonders if he’s putting a little extra effort in his appearance as well. She could only hope.

Walking down the stairs, she saw her mother- also wearing casual makeup- and her father in a black polo and slacks. They were both standing by the door, waiting for their daughter to come out from her cave. 

“Why are you guys already done?” She asked, turning on the phone and checking the time.

“Wanted to make a good impression,” Her dad smiled, putting his own phone away. 

“Alright,” Her mom smiled, putting on her wedges, “Let’s get going. Y/n can you grab the scones and smoothie?”

“Yeah mah, I’ll be right back,”

“Thanks love,” she smiled, grabbing the house keys off the hook. 

They were kinda heavy, but it was nothing she couldn’t carry. That didn’t stop her dad from taking it from her with a smile. She could have done it, but she’s not necessarily upset about it.

---

Sitting at the dining room table was only awkward in the beginning of the meal. The Iida’s seemed to be pretty profesional people, but the Y/l/n’s were introverts with an acquired sense of humor. Joking about everything from people at work, eachother, and random facts they had learned, the Iida’s quickly became much less tense during the meal. 

The mother and father- whom’s names Y/n never seemed to learn, were last few to smile or laugh along side the rest, beaten by Tenya by only a second, but Tensai had been the first to crack a joke, almost beating Y/n herself to break the ice. 

The loud laughter slowly split into multiple side conversations; Y/n- who sat across from Tenya- tried to strike up a conversation. “Do you want to be famous one day?” 

“Hmm?” He asked, looking up from the lone strawberry cut on his plate, “Yes, I plan on being a Hero.”

A few seconds longer than a moment had passed, end Tensai asked Y/n in return, “What about you? You wanna live the life of fame, or are you more of a low-key kinda gal,” he smiled at her, and for a second Y/n though he had noticed the embarrassment worn on her face after being rejected and forced into silence.

“I dunno really, my quirk is pretty multipurpose. I originally wanted to be a counselor or therapist, but it’s changed from a vet to doctor, to a hundreds of other things. My parents think I should be a hero- I wouldn’t mind I don’t think, but the constant attention could get pretty annoying. A like being busy with people and events, but I do value my privacy,” 

He smiled at her, nodding in acceptance at her answer. The Iida parents had been listening into her words while she spoke, but they still conversed with Y/n’s parents as well. 

Y/n saw a smile on Iida’s face. That mirrored on her own, and suddenly her pancakes tasted a whole lot better. She missed the far off look in his eyes, if only she saw the worried look that was on Tensai’s face. If she had, maybe that small warning could have protected her heart.

---------------------------------------------

         Y/n had found an abandoned tire swing in their large backyard, three acres of cleared land and two of forest. The swing was in a small clearing- it looked like a party or two had been thrown while it was vacant- shown by the few nips thrown about the ground. She swung back and forth- listening to music playing in her head. 

Because of how caught up in her head she was, she never heard the footsteps approaching her. “Hey, Y/L/N!” Tenya greated. 

“Jesus Christ!” She shouted, falling from the swing. Thankfully, with the use of his quirk, Iida was able to catch her just in time.

“You should really be more careful,”

“I’ll be sure to remember that,” she rolled her eyes. 

He smiled, helping her back up to the swing. He slowly began to push her back and forth, spinning her as fast as he could listening to her laughter. Getting more and more dizzy, she closed her eyes to stay level headed. 

With a heavy sigh of contentment, Y/n lied on the grass with Iida, staring up at the beautiful blue sky. “Hey, Tenya?” She asked, still looking up.

“Yeah?” He turned on his side to see her better- only to notice her eyes were closed. 

“What’s your perfect day?”

“Hmm...” he thought for a second, trying to think of a good answer. “Probably waking up early, and seeing the girl I love as soon as I open my eyes. Then I’d like to eat breakfast with my family- followed by patrol with my brother. Then I’d like to go home and make a cup of tea and sit down with a book I like. Yeah, that sounds pretty good,” he smiled himself, closing his eyes to really picture what he was saying. 

“That sounds really nice Iida,” she whispered, wondering if she could be the one he loves.

---------------------------------

           Summer only had a month left, but Y/n wanted to make the most of the fleeting free-time she had left. Wanting to explore more of Japan before her freedom was stripped from her, she invited Iida to go on a roadtrip with her. 

It wasn’t hard at all to convince her parents to let her go, with her quirk she really didn’t need to worry about being attacked. Even then, she’s physically strong if she can’t use her quirk to defend herself. With the rise of heroes to protect everyone, Japan quickly became one of the safest places. Y/n was also very closely trained with America’s top hero, Reflector. She taught Y/n everything she knew and fully plans on giving Y/n her hero agency as her predecessor. 

Iida’s parents were a little harder to convince, but Y/n’s parents were very persuasive. They would be gone for a week, and they would check in every morning when they woke up and every night before they went to sleep. If they didn’t call during one of the time’s then they had until the next call to respond.

They had made a list of regions and cities in them to visit in them, with the days they would be arriving and leaving. If they skipped a stop of stayed longer, then they had to text their parents with the nex information. Solid rules, and both the teens agreed to them, as well as their parents. 

The bus ride to the train station was relatively short, but it was in complete silence. It was a little awkward, but they just had to get through that one part. 

The train ride itself was much more enjoyable. With their suitcases in hand, they sat close yet comfortably. “Hey, Tenya?” 

“What’s up?” He asked, looking up from his phone to see her eyes staring back at him- a smile tugging at his lips. 

“For what in your life do you feel most grateful?” She questioned, smiling into his eyes.

“Probably my family,” He responded as soon as she finished- having grown accustomed to Y/n’s random questioning, “They’ve done so much for me, and I only hope I can pay them back for all that they’ve supported me through.”

Y/n nodded at his answer, acknowledging how very much like him it is. The loud bustle of train and constant shaking led them to listening to music together, sharing earbuds and squeezing close together. It was a cheesy, new, pop song- one that will probably inspire a sub-culture of girls to bind together. It was weirdly comforting.

---------------------------------

        The last night they spent through their travel of Japan was by far the most enjoyable. There was a small frost in the air that traveled with the two, following them in their own little bubble. 

The streets were lightly illuminated, and it seemed like they were the only two in the world. Y/n had grabbed him by the hand, dragging him to an ice cream vendor. Seeing her in front of him, Tenya was thrown back to the first time they spent time together- everything's so different now. Yet, her beautiful eyes stay constant. Her kindness in unwavering. She’s still a girl made of honey and sugar.

After traveling together for so long, the two stopped correcting people who referred to them as a couple- they simply accepted it as an inside joke. This was why they laughed when the man behind the counter said “And these two for the cute couple,” with a wink at the end of his sentence. 

Walking linked by the elbows, the two passed through the park. Shivering from the wind and the chill of her ice cream, Iida stopped the pair. He took off his sweater, revealing the long-sleeve shirt he wore underneath, and he handed it to her. 

“Ten! You’ll freeze to death,” she said, refusing the offering.

“C’mon Y/n/n, I can heat myself up through my engines, and I wasn’t asking. You’re gonna wear the sweater or you’ll get sick. Put it on,” he said, taking the ice-cream from her hand and raising her arms like she was a child. 

Y/n was very pleased the cold hid the blush on her face- last thing she needed was for him to discover her feelings on the last day of this amazing trip. She slipped into his large sweater, and grabbed her ice cream back from him.

“Hey Iida, I’ve got another question,” she said, walking with him through the trees bordering the street. 

“I’m ready,” he asked, looking forward to make sur they didn’t walk into anything in the dark. 

“What’s a personal problem you could use some advise for?” She asked, actually curious as to what he could possibly need help with. 

He sighed, not making eye-contact. “I guess since we’re close enough- even on nickname basis- I should be comfortable telling you this. I’m in love with this girl, I’ve never stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her,” a dopey smile came onto his face, “I have no idea how to tell her. And now we’re going into highschool, and she’s going to meet so many other people- people I’m sure are more fun than me. I want to confess to her before the summer ends, but I have no idea how to. So,” he sucked in a deep breath and looked at Y/n, “What do you think?”

Y/n smiled, she was so sure he was being cheesy and talking about her. She fully believes that he’s gonna confess tonight. It has to happen- that’s the only way what he just said makes sense. 

“I think,” she closed her eyes, “You should look her in the eyes, and compliment them. Whether she accepts your compliment or refuses it, tell her you want her to know how perfect she is- and then tell her how you feel. Tell her how just seeing her makes your day, how you want her to be the first thing you see in the morning, and the last voice you hear at night. Tell her you want to spoil her, want to tell her everyday how perfect she is. Confess to her that she’s amazing, and that you love her. Let her know how you feel, and then respect her reply. But, there’s no way she’ll turn you down. Be confident, you’re amazing and I’m sure she feels the same,”

Tenya thanked her for her advise, and they fell back into a comfy silence. It was then she remembered the night they decided to go by first names, the night she realized how hard she fell for him.

----

Y/n was sitting on her rooftop, Iida beside her. They were looking up at the stars- sitting in silence. Like always, she started the conversation- “Hey, Iida, If you died this evening without being able to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? And Why haven’t you told them yet?”

“Huh,” he murmured, thinking hard. “I’d regret not thanking my brother more. He risks his life to save people, and he practically raised me. He’s why I want to be a hero, to live up to his expectations. I guess I haven’t told him yet because I want to prove that I’ve done something with myself. I want him to know he doesn’t have to raise me anymore- that I succeed,”

Y/n thought for a moment, before answering a question for the first and only time they have known eachother- but he didn’t ask it. She just felt a need to finally speak.

“I had an ex-boyfriend,” she sighed, clenching her eyes shut; “We’d been dating for five years- since we were children. We were so close as kids, but when our quirks manifested he broke up with me. He said my quirk was too dangerous for him, that he didn’t want to be part of the backstory of a villians history. It fucking ruined me. I was an idiot for actually thinking we could have lasted. About a month after we broke up, a villian attacked the agency I was working at. The only reason I was there was because I know the hero in charge, and he knew that. He had come to the building during my break- I don’t know why he was there, but I was the only person he knew there. The villain attacked, but his quirk wasn’t very strong. All he could do was change the color of an item for a few seconds. He was killed that day- slaughtered by the villain who’s only reason was boredom. I wish I could talk to him one last time, tell him I loved him one last time.”

Iida scooted closer to her, pulling her head onto his chest, letting her use him as a crutch. “It’s okay, Y/n. It’ll be okay,”

----------------------------------------------------------

When highschool started, and Tenya hadn’t confessed his love to him, Y/n came to the painful realization that she wasn’t the one he loved. However, it was the first day of school that hit the nail on the head. 

She had entered the classroom of 1-A, after her family convinced her to at least try out the hero course, and was terrified that she would know no one. And then, she heard a voice that reminded her of someone very similar.

At the far end of the room, she saw the back of a blue-haired boy scolding a blond with his feet on the desk. A smile spread across her mouth when she realized who this up-tight teen was. Practically running to cover the distance of the class, Y/n launched herself onto Iida, latching onto her. 

“Ten!” She smiled, shifting to wear he could comfortably hold her up.

“Y-Y/n?” He asked, momentarily stunned by her sudden appearance. He smiled and spun her around for a second before putting her down. “You’re here? You’re parents convinced you to pursue being a hero?” he was reasonably confused, but he wasn’t upset she was there- if anything he was glad to have a second familiar face around.

“Yeah, I’m just trying it out,” Y/n laughed, scratching the back of her neck. 

“So heartwarming, now get outta my line of sight four-eyes,” the blond snapped, glaring at the pair.

“You’re annoying, you know that?” Y/n said, rolling her eyes at his comments. 

Meanwhile, Iida laughed at Y/n being called his girlfriend. Y/n, who used to laugh with him, could only do her best to not cry. 

“C/mon Ten, let’s go to your seat,” Y/n said, tugging his hand towards the spot with his name on it- stopping when her arm was tugged, caused by him not moving with her. 

“Sorry Y/n/n,” he said, releasing her hand. “I would, but I promised Momo I’d meet her by the gate and guide her to the classroom. You know about Momo, right?” He looked into her eyes hoping she would put it together herself. After realizing she wouldn’t, he reminded her, “We talked about her on our last day of the tour.”

“Oh,” she said, feeling suddenly really cold. 

“Yeah,” He smiled, “Wish me luck!” He gave her a thumbs up and walked out the room- leaving her stunned and so very cold. 

A scoff echoed from behind her, causing her to look back and see the blond once again. 

“That guy’s an idiot- glasses or not. It’s so obvious how you feel about him, and you’re way to attractive to pine after someone like him. You’re smart too, since you got into this school- he’s really missing out,” he rolled his eyes, but he also knew what just happened- even though no one else in the room picked up on it. 

He assumed they were dating, but when Iida laughed, Bakugo had no clue if he was laughing at them dating or the girl’s reaction. He quickly figured out which of the two was the truth, and he also realized that he had no clue that she was in love with him. 

Y/n didn’t react to his words, just stuck in the weird state she was in. She wasn’t sad, or angry. There was no tears or screams or breakdown, just a silent wave of shock. An ocean of doubt consumed her, filling her with a sense of... nothing. 

She should have known. She should have realized. It’s entirely her fault. Who could love her. Who would want to love her. Who wants to date a freak. Who wants to date someone with a villainous quirk like hers. That’s why he was shocked when she showed up- he thought they’d reject a future villain like her.

No wonder everyone hates her; if she was someone else she’d hate herself too.

[invisibleicewands]

Actor and activist Michael Sheen speaks about his career so far and how he has adapted to life during lockdown

Michael Sheen sighs. His fingers stroke his grizzly beard and for a moment, he’s no longer in New York; he’s stepping onto a stage for the first time back in his home town of Port Talbot.

Gone are the days of a telephone interview. The pandemic has seen to that. Zoom is the new way of life. And across the internet, across the Atlantic, Michael’s voice is beaming right into my Cardiff home.

He’s in the US, filming for the acclaimed drama series Prodigal Son. It goes without saying that he has come a long way since his early days in South Wales. But he traces the success of his career back to his days of youth in Port Talbot.

“As I’ve got older, I’ve realised more and more about what went into allowing me to have the path that I’ve had in life. I’m very aware that I had a supportive family, a family who would be involved with performing in one way or another.

“They also pointed me in the right direction, not necessarily professionally but my parents and aunts and uncles and grandparents were all involved with the amateur dramatics society. Coming from an area that had a tradition for actors in the form of Burton and Hopkins, there was a lot of respect for it.”

Michael has followed in the footsteps of the giants of stage and screen; but in doing so, he has forged his own path, straight out of the industrial South Wales town that he still calls home.

“If anyone was to take a look, they wouldn’t think that Port Talbot would have that kind of output. I was very involved with West Glamorgan Youth Arts groups that were borne out of the local education system. Godfrey Evans was the man responsible for founding the West Glamorgan Youth Theatre Company. He changed the lives of generations of young people from the same sort of South Wales area — myself, Russell T Davies and Catherine Zeta Jones, who I’m currently working with on Prodigal Son.”

Michael was to then train with the National Youth Theatre of Wales in the Welsh capital.

“We never moved around much when I was young so moving to Cardiff during the Summer holidays to do the National Youth courses — that was like going on holiday. Even going to Neath back then seemed exotic so to go all the way to Cardiff seemed like going to Mars. I remember we stayed in the university’s Senghenedd Court halls of residence. We’d rehearse in various places around Cardiff and it honestly felt like a mixture of being on holiday and going to space. It was so exciting. That was my introduction to Cardiff.”

The National Youth Theatre of Wales was to give Michael the grounding that has underpinned his career since.

“It was a brilliant youth theatre. It taught me great work ethics; it was very disciplined. Once I went to London, I realised that I’d taken it for granted about what was available in my area. I’m not too sure about how it compared to others in different parts of the country, but I started to see how my life could have gone a very different way. I owe a lot to the hard work of others. I’m amazed that I ever made it.”

Like Hopkins and Burton before him, Michael moved to London in 1988 to train as an actor. He attended the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art (RADA), where he picked up his first professional role and graduated in 1991. Throughout the 90s, Michael’s stage work brought accolade after accolade, and he made his first TV appearance in 1993.

“Stage work is where I started but theatre work has a tendency to take over your psyche. You wake up in the morning and all you can think is that you’re performing that night. You can’t concentrate on anything else. That may be the way for other actors too, I don’t know, but that’s how it is for me. And it’s strange because the performance only takes up a few hours of the day but it takes over an actor’s life. I do a lot more work now in front of the cameras these days and despite it sounding grim, I’d say that I feel more at home on the stage.”

Michael’s breakthrough screen role was as former Prime Minister Tony Blair in the 2003 film, The Deal. It was to mark his first collaboration with screenwriter Peter Morgan. They were to team up again for the 2006 movie The Queen, Michael once again reprising his role as Tony Blair. He was nominated for a BAFTA Award for Best Actor in a Supporting Role. In that same year, he also appeared as English actor Kenneth Williams in BBC Four’s Fantabulosa!

For the following year, Michael starred as the television broadcaster David Frost in Frost/Nixon in the West End, before it was adapted into a movie in 2008, in which he again played Frost.

“I’m very lucky to be in a position where I’m able to express who I am as a person. People always come up to me and say ‘Oh, you’ve probably heard this before but I love your work’. But I’ve been on the other side of that — I’ve done it myself, so I know how important it is for them to do that. What really puts a smile on my face is if someone says that they’ve been deeply touched by something that I’ve done.”

Michael has gone on to become a household name, both here in the UK, as well as in the US. But what would he be doing if he wasn’t acting?

“I was only talking about this the other day actually. If I wasn’t doing all the acting stuff, I’d like to run a book shop. But I wouldn’t want anyone to take the books. I’d want people to come in and talk about the books. They’d have to come in and we’d drink tea and talk about them. But I wouldn’t want them walking out with the books.” Michael pauses. “Maybe it’d have to be a library instead.”

Meeting people is one thing that many across the world have had to think twice about doing since the outbreak of COVID19. In June 2020, Michael starred alongside his friend David Tennant in a six-part television lockdown comedy called Staged, which was made using video-conferencing software. A second eight-episode season aired in January 2021.

“The pandemic has made me realise how vulnerable we all are. I’m working in New York at the moment and it really saddens me to see how many businesses are closed down — and for good. It’s startling to see how our economies have been brought to a halt. It’s frightening how many conspiracy theories have sprung up but overwhelmingly, it’s heartening to see how people have worked together.”

The actor has taken a keen interest in the fate of small local businesses, especially those faced with the challenges presented by the pandemic. He’s also keen to see Wales get a better quality media, suited to the country’s needs.

“Most of our news comes from outside of Wales and that has sent conflicting messages to the people of Wales during the pandemic.”

Despite his international fame and success, Michael hasn’t forgotten his roots or those who are in a place that he was once in.

“I’m lucky in that I can use the reach that I have to help change aspects of society for the better. I don’t do charity work in the traditional sense but I do see my life as two distinct parts and the acting side of it allows me to support causes that I care about.” He is currently the honourary President of Wales Council for Voluntary Action and in 2017, he founded the End High Cost Credit Alliance, which works to promote more affordable ways to borrow money.

As we wrap up the interview, Michael has spoken for more than half an hour. It’s still early morning in New York, his coffee has long since gone cold and he has another day of filming ahead of him.

“It’s a little unnerving being here with the pandemic still going on, but we’ll get through it somehow,” he says.

It seems it’s all in a day’s work for Michael Sheen.

[my-unruly-heart]

my heart’s at the wheel now

Tag List: @radcowboyalmondtree @annabanana2401 @babeebobo

masterpost

sorry if this is bad, it was kinda just me exploring a different way of writing and how Anne deals with her trauma around the beginning of May. So it will talk about her beheading in passing and there is a minor panic attack.

30th of April

“This quarrel with Norris, and the gossip it caused, may have been the reason for an argument between the King and Queen on Sunday 30th April, recorded by Alexander Ales and written as an account for Elizabeth I, Anne and Henry’s daughter, in September 1559:-”

“Never shall I forget the sorrow which I felt when I saw the most serene queen, your most religious mother, carrying you, still a baby, in her arms and entreating the most serene king your father, in Greenwich Palace, from the open window of which he was looking into the courtyard, when she brought you to him. I did not perfectly understand what had been going on, but the faces and gestures of the speakers plainly showed that the king was angry, although he could conceal his anger wonderfully well. Yet from the protracted conference of the council (for whom the crowd was waiting until it was quite dark, expecting that they would return to London), it was most obvious to everyone that some deep and difficult question was being discussed.”

The queens knew may 19th would be a bad day for Anne but they didn’t expect her to pull away from everyone so early. They had all been at an interview (that seems to be how all these stories start) and it was seemingly going very well, the historian was kind and genuinely cared about hearing the queens’ stories. He also was very aware of the date and before they began pulled Anne aside and told her she didn’t need to answer anything that she didn’t want to, he also asked what topics she would like to avoid. So, all in all, it was a pretty successful interview. 

The feeling of dread Anne had begun to feel that morning was forgotten by the time she had retired to her room that evening. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits as the second queen fell asleep with a smile on her face.

1st of May

“Henry VIII and his second wife, Queen Anne Boleyn, attended the joust just as they had in previous years, but this one ended with the king abandoning his queen unexpectedly. If Anne hadn’t figured out that something was going on before this point, she surely must have been suspicious at the king’s sudden departure.

We know that court musician Mark Smeaton had been arrested the previous day and that within 24 hours he’d confessed to sleeping with the queen. However, Anne was in the dark. Bad things were happening around her, but she did not know what was going on.”

Anne had to drag herself out of bed that morning. The usually energetic girl shuffled quietly to the kitchen where all the other queens were already seated. 

“Morning love,” Catherine smiled at the younger queen as Jane turned to make Anne a cup of coffee, a rare allowance for Anne that early in the morning. “Sleep well?”

Anne looked at Catherine for a moment, blinked a few times then shrugged, “Oui, mais ça n’en a pas envie.” Catherine laughed for a moment before turning to Cathy,

“Do you mind translating love?” Cathy nodded giggling a little at how out of it her girlfriend was, “She said yes, but she doesn’t feel like it.”

The first queen nodded and smiled sympathetically at Anne. Soon all six women had settled down at the table. Kit was talking about something, using dramatic hand gestures for emphasis as Anna laughed at the girl quietly. Anne tried to listen to her cousin but her mind was fuzzy, she was so so tired. Maybe if she just closed her eyes for a minute-

“ANNIE! No sleeping at breakfast!”

Anne looked up blearily at her cousin, gave her a smirk, and dropped her head back onto her arms, folded on the table. The rest of the day went on in a similar fashion and the daze Anne seemed to be in never lifted.

2nd of May

“In “Las nuevas de Ynglaterra de la presion de la Manceba del Rey”, recorded in Letters and Paper on the 2nd May, it reports Rochford’s arrest as being to do with him covering up his sister’s crimes and being an accessory, rather than being one of her lovers:-

“The Emperor has letters from England of 2 May, stating that the mistress of the king of England, who is called queen, had been put in the Tower for adultery with an organist of her chamber, and the King’s most private “sommelier de corps.” Her brother is imprisoned for not giving information of her crime. It is said that, even if it had not been discovered, the King had determined to leave her, as he had been informed that she had consummated a marriage with the earl of Nortemberlano (Northumberland) nine years ago.”

This leaves us wondering whether George Boleyn was arrested first and then the charge of incest made up later, a shocking and horrific allegation which would turn everyone against him and his sister.”

The show that night went well, it was one of those nights where everyone got really into it, including the audience; and for what it was worth, Anne was in a good mood. The second queen joked around with the others, although she stuck close to Maggie’s side the two seemed to be in better form.

The queens and ladies in waiting were all well aware of the date and were frankly quite shocked at how well Anne and Maggie had been handling everything, considering the mess the year before had been. When the group of 10 Tudor women got home that night the adrenaline from the show left them all awake. After some friendly banter back and forth it was decided they would watch Moana.

It was about halfway through the movie when Maggie and Anne began talking amongst themselves, “à quoi sert le crabe ? Je suis désolé de ne pas l’avoir, il se sent un peu plus”. (what's the point of the crab? I'm sorry I just don't get it, he feels a little bit extra)

“Je suis désolé a fait Anne 'Kitty est triste alors j’ai besoin de lui obtenir un chat' Boleyn juste tout un film supplémentaire ?” (I'm sorry did Anne 'Kitty is sad so I need to get her a cat' Boleyn just all a movie extra?) Cathy looked up and laughed at Anne, “Vous n’avez pas de place pour parler, mon amour” (you have no room to talk, my love)

The three girls laughed before turning their attention back to the movie. As Anne got ready for bed she smiled, it had been a good day.

4th of May

“Sir William Kingston, the Constable of the Tower of London, was ordered to make regular reports to Cromwell regarding Anne Boleyn’s imprisonment in the Tower. Obviously, Anne could say things that her enemies could use against her and for that reason her ladies in the Tower were appointed by Cromwell and were also ordered not to speak to Anne unless Lady Kingston was present to remember or record what was said.”

For the next few days Anne seemed to be glued to either Maggie or Cathy, it wasn’t surprising for anyone really so they all went on as normal. It was around this time that Anne and Cathy began going on walks more. No one asked about the change as it wasn't hurting anyone, but it was the first sign of the storm that was brewing.

  The show that day had gone well and they had rehearsals for some events afterwords. The girls were all goofing around on the stage while the directors took a few notes,

“See here’s the thing there is no way to know that we all see colours the same!”

“Anne, I thought we had a no talking nonsense at rehearsal rule,” Aragon looked over at the girl and sighed, “stop mumbling to yourself.”

Anne just stuck her tongue out and leaned back onto Cathy who was braiding the girl’s wild hair. She looked up at her girlfriend, smiled, and gave her a quick kiss. The rest of the day carried on in a similar fashion, although Anne couldn’t ignore the heavy feeling in her stomach.

15th of May

“On the 15th May 1536, Queen Anne Boleyn was tried in the King’s Hall in the Tower of London. The trial was to be a huge public spectacle, attracting, according to Chapuys, around 2,000 spectators, so Sir William Kingston had arranged for a “great scaffold” (platform) to be erected in the middle of the hall, benches and seats arranged for the lords, and benches along the walls of the hall. Alison Weir writes of how a special throne for the Lord High Steward, the Duke of Norfolk, was placed on the dais at the end of the hall, underneath the canopy of estate which bore the royal arms – the Duke of Norfolk was to represent the King and would have to put aside the fact that Anne and George were his niece and nephew.”

Five out of the six ex-wives of Henry VIII were awoken by a shrill scream from the loft bedroom. A conversation wasn’t necessary to make the decision that Jane and Catherine wouldn’t be any help, try as they might to help Anne. Kit and Cathy went up the stairs while Anna went to help the other two girls make tea for everyone (“no Cathy you do ‘t get coffee until breakfast and that’s final.”) 

When the girls got into the room Anne was thankfully awake, and she wasn’t scratching at her neck. Instead, she was just sat staring at the wall opposite her bed. “He was innocent you know” Cathy frowned as she sat beside her girlfriend, not really knowing what she meant. “Can I touch you, Annie?” Anne nodded before continuing her thought as she curled into Cathy’s side and Kit played with her hair. 

“Why’d Henry feel the need to go after George?” Kit sighed, she wasn’t annoyed at her cousin, she just didn’t have an answer for her. Cathy looked at the youngest queen for a second before turning her focus back onto her girlfriend, “No one knows Annie, but it wasn’t your fault.” Anne shook her head and sat up straight, pulling her knees up to her chest. Anna returned at this point, handing everyone a cup of tea before sitting down to join the conversation.

“I know I don’t deserve forgiveness, but I like the idea that some people think I might” It was Anna who spoke this time, after a few moments of stunned silence. “How do you KNOW you don’t deserve forgiveness? What did you do wrong?” Anne just looked at her, part of her agreeing with Anna but the ‘what ifs’ were loud and overbearing. 

After a few moments of silence, it was obvious that Anna wanted an answer, “Nothing.” It was meek and not very convincing but it was a start, and that’s all anyone could ask.

[ingek73]

Here Are 20 Headlines Comparing Meghan Markle To Kate Middleton That Might Show Why She And Prince Harry Are Cutting Off Royal Reporters

Over the years, Meghan has been shamed for the same things for which her sister-in-law, Kate, has been praised.

Ellie Hall

BuzzFeed News Reporter

Last updated on January 13, 2020, at 12:00 p.m. ET

Posted on January 13, 2020, at 10:40 a.m. ET

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex (aka Prince Harry and Meghan Markle) didn't just shockingly "step back" as senior members of the royal family this week — they gave the UK media a big "fuck-you" for years of what they said was biased and unfair coverage.

The couple's new website on breaking up with years of royal protocol laid out — among a lot of other things — their media strategy, stating that they will no longer participate in the traditional royal press system that grants exclusive access to a select group of UK outlets.

Britain’s royal correspondents, they said, are seen as reliable sources of information. "This misconception propels coverage that is often carried by other outlets around the world, amplifying frequent misreporting," they wrote. Removing themselves from "royal rota" coverage has sparked an outcry among UK media and drew a protest from the National Union of Journalists.

This isn't a new complaint from the royal couple — they just took an unprecedented step to do something about it. Harry and Meghan have said publicly that they believe they have been treated unfairly by the UK press since the moment news broke of their relationship — that they are bullied, that there are racist undertones to coverage of them, and that they have been held to a different standard than Harry's brother and sister-in-law, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (aka Prince William and Kate Middleton).

The UK media outlets that currently make up the royal rota are the Daily Express, the Daily Mail, the Daily Mirror, the Evening Standard, the Telegraph, the Times, and the Sun.

Here is a look at 20 stories from these outlets that appear to show a double standard between press coverage of Meghan and Kate. BuzzFeed News has reached out to all of the outlets featured below for comment.

Kate: "Bumping along nicely! The Duchess was seen placing a protective hand on her tummy as she exited the event." Daily Mail: March 22, 2018

Meghan: "Personally, I find the cradling a bit like those signs in the back of cars: Baby on Board. Virtue signaling, as though the rest of us barren harridans deserve to burn alive in our cars." Daily Mail: Jan. 26, 2019

Kate and William: "Prince William was given one of the green fruit – wrapped up in a bow – by a little boy who's mother is suffering during her pregnancy too... 'He said he'd take it to [Kate] and see what happens – and said good luck for [the boy's] mummy.'" Express: Sept. 14, 2017

Meghan: "The pregnant Duchess of Sussex and so-called 'avocado on toast whisperer' is wolfing down a fruit linked to water shortages, illegal deforestation and all round general environmental devastation." Express: Jan. 23, 2019

Kate: "Royal sources said yesterday that the Queen understood and endorsed William and Kate’s decision not to spend Christmas Day with her. One said: ‘Her Majesty understands that it is a dilemma that many young couples face and acknowledges how close Catherine’s relationship is with her family." Daily Mail: Dec. 16, 2016

Meghan: "The fact is the Queen expects to have the family around her for the festive season... to the Queen, for whom the tradition of the family gathering is a key date in her calendar, Harry and Meghan’s absence will be a matter of great sadness. It will also be a source of frustration." Daily Mail: Nov. 13, 2019

Kate and William: "Creating their own companies will allow William and Kate to bring out, should they ever chose to, myriad items of officially-endorsed merchandise from tea towels to coffee cups... Kensington Palace officials said they were doing the ‘sensible thing’ in protecting the couple’s rights." Daily Mail: Jan. 17, 2014

Meghan and Harry: "The Sussexes want to stamp their name on dozens of products including T-shirts, hoodies, journals and gloves for their newly-created foundation Sussex Royal... Experts said Harry and Meghan were actively preparing to quit the Royal Family months ago by filing trade mark applications to commercially protect their brand." Daily Mail: Jan. 9, 2020

Kate and William: "Prince William yesterday backed brother Harry’s brave admission of his mental anguish — and blasted the monarchy’s 'stiff upper lip' tradition... William said: 'There may be a time and a place for the ‘stiff upper lip’ but not at the expense of your health... '

"'Catherine and I are clear we want both George and Charlotte to grow up feeling able to talk about their emotions and feelings. Over the past year we have visited a number of schools together where we have been amazed listening to children talk about some quite difficult subjects in a clear and emotionally articulate way, something most adults would struggle with. Seeing this has really given me hope things are changing and there is a generation coming up who find it normal to talk openly about emotions.'” Sun: April 19, 2017

Meghan and Harry: "Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have bucked royal tradition once again with their latest TV interview — in which they claimed they were 'existing, not living.' The couple ditched the stiff upper lip of previous Royal Family generations and flew the flag for 'Generation Therapy' as they revealed their emotions to the world - but were they right to do so?

"What you make of 'fragile' Prince Harry and Meghan's comments may depend on your generation. Sun parents and kids reveal what they think of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex airing their emotions in public - and whether they have the right to moan in such positions of privilege..." Sun: Oct. 23, 2019

Kate: "It was reported that new Duchess of Cambridge requested her favorite scented candles and toiletries from luxury fragrance brand Jo Malone be delivered to scent the Abbey. A selection of candles, handwashes and lotions was requested, specifically in citrus spring scents including Orange Blossom, Grapefruit and the ever-popular Lime, Basil & Mandarin." Daily Mail: May 4, 2011

Meghan: "'Meghan wanted staff to go around with these atomizers, like spritzer guns, and spray the chapel with scent before anyone arrived. Royal Household staff stepped in and told her office politely, but firmly, that this was the queen's chapel and it simply wasn't appropriate. I don't believe they said no because they thought it could affect the chapel in any way. It was simply the principle of the thing. This is a place that has held royal weddings, funerals and even contains the royal vault. I don't believe a request of that nature had been made before.'" Daily Mail: Nov. 30, 2018

Kate: "As far as bridal bouquets go there was nothing particularly regal about Kate Middleton’s modest arrangement of simple, seasonal flowers. Like the bride herself the bouquet was effortlessly elegant and understated.

"Yet behind that modest posy lay a secret story. Kate, the commoner-turned-duchess, had painstakingly selected blooms with real meaning. She is evidently well-versed in the language of flowers, a little-known romantic relic from the 19th century.

"Hence the use of lilac in her bouquet, which signifies the first emotions of love, the lily of the valley meaning a return of happiness, hyacinth standing for constancy, myrtle meaning love and the ivy, which represents fidelity. Then of course there was the suitably named Sweet William, which is shorthand for gallantry." Express: Aug. 29, 2011

Meghan: "[Meghan Markle] was holding a wedding bouquet which flowers were replicated in Princess Charlotte and the other bridesmaids’ flower crowns. Express.co.uk can now reveal the children’ crowns were made of flowers that can be deadly, especially for children. Meghan’s bouquet was made of forget-me-nots as well as sweet peas, lily of the valley, astilbe, jasmine, and astrantia...

"Lily of the valley is a highly poisonous woodland flowering plant and ingestion could be deadly... As Meghan’s bridesmaids were so young, having this flower on their heads could be considered a dangerous decision. Other brides have also used this flowers including Kate Middleton, Princess Eugenie and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall." Express: Oct. 13, 2019

Kate and William: "The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh missed the small family affair. The decision is understood not to have been taken on health grounds, and to have been mutually agreed by the Queen and the Cambridges some time ago. The Queen, 92, has a busy week ahead, with high-profile celebrations in central London marking the centenary of the RAF on Tuesday, and a visit by US President Donald Trump in Windsor on Friday." Daily Mail: July 9, 2018

Meghan and Harry: "The situation has surprised some senior staff at Buckingham Palace, who feel that the duke and duchess should have planned the day better. ‘There is huge support for the couple in not wanting to conform to tradition. They are young, they are striking out on a different path from other members of the Royal Family and there is enormous goodwill for them. But they shouldn’t do that without regard for tradition,’ said one. ‘Her Majesty was already scheduled to be in Scotland for her annual Holyrood Week and had a prior engagement at the weekend. There is a feeling amongst some that they should have been more accommodating about the date.’" Daily Mail: July 4, 2019

Kate: "It is a fashion conundrum not many of us will ever face, but what exactly does one wear for tea with the Queen? The Duchess of Cambridge met this challenge head on yesterday by co-ordinating her outfit with the Queen’s powder blue ensemble... The Queen, on her first ­official event to mark her Diamond Jubilee, was dressed in a pastel hat and two-piece coat dress with military-style rows of gold buttons designed by Angela Kelly. Looking relaxed and elegant, her outfit was perfect for what looked like a fun official engagement with the girls." Mirror: Feb. 14, 2013

Meghan: "The Queen's aides had told [Meghan] she would be wearing a green hat as a mark of respect to those who died in the Grenfell Tower fire. The Queen is said to have been 'baffled' when Meghan turned up without a hat as she didn't realize she was supposed to wear one too. A senior aide said: 'I don't think the Duchess fully understood. This was not a request. Those are for others to make, not the Queen.' The Queen's staff are said to have noted the Duchess's mistake or 'lack of deference'" Mirror: Oct. 29, 2018

Kate: "We see a woman in her prime: stylish, confident and positively radiant, nailing outfit after outfit in the style stakes — and it’s a joy to witness... That old uniform of girlish dresses, tan tights and nude heels has been replaced by dazzling super-chic outfits to satisfy even the most exacting fashionista." Daily Mail: June 16, 2019

Meghan: "Proper royalty is about tradition and duty, self-effacing service and loyalty — year after year after year, season after season... That is not to say that a monarchy cannot or must not move with the times — simply that it has to resist the temptation to be buffeted by passing cultural trends. Fashion is the exact opposite. And as fashion’s most famous bible, Vogue exemplifies the transient nature of the beast." Daily Mail: July 29, 2019

[elin-moon]

Finding the queens - Part 2

I’m adding a tag list to this because people were asking to be tagged so, you’re welcome! Also, I wasn't expecting for people to actually enjoy my idea so, thank you! Anyway, on with the story! 

Part 2: Anne Boleyn

Cathy sat on the couch, drinking the tea that Cat had made for Cathy and herself. Mae sat on the carpet, playing with her plush toys while Mary watched the television that was on the other side of the living room. It was a small room, really, but rather cozy. It was quiet, except for the tv noises and Mae’s random little giggles. 

“So, now that we’ve decided that we aren’t the only ones who have been resurrected, i think we should think about finding the other queens.” Cathy said, trying to break the silence. Cat looked at her and quickly nodded before looking back at Mary. She seemed to always look at her if she wasn’t talking to someone. Mary quickly turned around, looking at Cathy, and asked: 

“What do you mean by finding the other queens, Miss Cathy?” That had been the first time she had actually heard Mary talk since she had died in her previous life. Cathy wasn’t sure how to answer. Did Mary even know about her past life? Or because she had been resurrected as a child, she didn’t remember any of it? Would she understand if she explained it? 

“What Miss Cathy means is that we have to find our other friends!” Cat jumped in, seeing Cathy’s struggle. “But that is for the adults to talk about, baby. Okay?” Cat said, trying to make Mary lose interest or just to end the conversation entirely.

“But mama, i want to help find your friends!” Mary said back, getting up on her feet and looking at Cat. Mary was short for her age, having more of an average height of a five year old, but she stood proudly. As proudly as a nine year old can stand. “Please!” she said, a hint of eagerness in her voice. 

“I’m sorry princess, but there’s nothing you can help us with.” Cat said, a calm smile on her face. Mary ran to Cat and jumped into her arms, giving her mother a hug. 

“You know what, Cat? Just let her tag along! She might not be able to help but this will still be exciting for her!” Cathy said, putting away her tea cup and going to pick up Mae, who wasn’t very bothered with what was happening in the room. “Maybe we should go outside and get some fresh air.” Cathy suggested. She saw Mary clapping her hands excitedly, looking at her mother. 

“Yeah, sure.” 

                                      ----------------------------------------------

The park was rather empty, and the playground only had a couple of children playing there. Mary immediately ran to the swings as Cathy and Cat sat on a bench with Mae. Since Cat was busy keeping an eye on her daughter, Cathy turned to her own daughter, Mae. Through the one month she has lived in this modern world with Mae, she’s figured out that her daughter liked one thing at the playground, and that was the sand pit. So, she took her daughter to the sand pit, which didn’t have anyone playing in it at the moment, and watched her daughter play, making sure she didn’t eat the sand. After a few minutes of Cathy just watching her daughter try to bury herself, she hears Mary run from a distance, calling:

“Miss Cathy! Miss Cathy!” When Cathy looked at Mary, she saw she was holding the hands of another little girl, who was a bit taller and had fiery red hair and pale skin. Once both girls reached her, Mary happily introduced the girl. “Miss Cathy, meet my new friend, Elly!” she said, presenting the girl with her left arm. “Elly, meet my mama’s friend, Miss Cathy!” she said, presenting Cathy with her right hand. 

“Hello there, Elly!” Cathy said to the little girl. “It’s very nice to meet you!” She slowly took the little girl’s two small hands into her’s. 

“It is very nice to meet you too, Miss Cathy!” Elly said, a small smile on her lips. Cathy could see now that Elly had dark eyes, kind of like Mary’s, but slightly lighter. 

“Elly!” a woman’s voice yelled. “Elly, don’t run away from mummy like that!” Elly turned around and ran into the embrace of the owner of the voice, who was a woman with pale skin and dark brown hair. “Don’t surprise mummy like that!” 

“I am very sorry, mummy!” Elly said as her mother picked her up. 

“It’s okay!” the woman said, before turning to Cathy, Mary and Mae, who had crawled into Cathy’s arms as soon as Elly had run off. “Hello, it is very nice to meet you! I’m Anne and this is my daughter, Elizabeth, or Elly for short.” she said, petting her daughter’s hair. 

“Oh, um, hello! I’m Catherine, or Cathy for short.” Cathy said, looking at Mae, who was sucking her thumb. Mary had already run off, getting Cat here as well. When she noticed that Anne was still looking at her, she continued: “And this is my daughter, Mary, but i just call her Mae.” 

“She is adorable!” Anne said, looking at Mae. “And what about the other little girl, isn’t she also your daughter?” Anne asked, looking for Mary. 

“Oh no, she is my friend’s daughter. Her name is also Mary.” Cathy explained calmly. Anne giggled, finally noticing Mary trying to pull Cat off the bench. 

“And what’s your friend’s name?” Anne asked, still looking at Mary and Cat.

“Catherine, but she is Cat for short.” Cathy explained, getting up on her feet holding Mae. Anne laughed a little, probably at the irony of two friends named Catherine both having a daughter named Mary. Cathy hadn’t noticed it before, but it was actually quite funny. 

“Mummy,” Elly said, tightly holding on to her mother’s green t-shirt. “Can we show Miss Cathy your music?” Elly had a little smile on her face as she said that. Anne laughed.

“Of course, sweetheart!” she said, putting down Elly and pulling out her phone from her pocket, quickly tapping on it. After one minute, Anne gave Cathy her phone and showed her a song called Greensleeves. “That was the first song i ever produced. It’s how I got to work with Shakesy P, writing lyrics for him. It’s honestly an honor!” Anne said, putting a hand to her heart. Cathy looked at the title and Anne’s name, her full name. Anne Boleyn. 

“I have a weird question for you.” Cathy said, giving Anne her phone back. 

“Hit it! I like weird stuff.” Anne said, putting her phone back in her pocket. 

“Do you happen to have been resurrected? Don’t think me crazy, but I'm Catherine Parr.” she said, feeling the embarrassment rise to her cheeks. “I know you probably think i’m crazy but-” she was interrupted before she could speak by Anne grabbing her by the shoulders and looking right into her eyes. 

“You too?” she said in surprise. “Oh my God, i thought i was the only one, thank God!” she said, letting go of Cathy’s shoulders. “Does that mean that Cat is… Catherine of Aragon?” she asked, pointing at Cat, who was now watching as Mary played on the swings. 

“Yeah.” Cathy said. “But please don’t fight right now, we still have to find the other queens!” Cathy reasoned. Anne nodded in agreement. “Hey Cat! I found Anne Boleyn!”

@silverpetals97 @patdfobmcr-yt

[lailaliquorice]

a dream is a soft place to land

this is a very very long awaited prompt from the lovely @bottom-of-the-bin who asked for aralyn with the prompt ‘It was you the whole time’. took me a little while to think of something but I’m soft today so here is some soft for you cass!!

I need to write more aralyn in general, and when I saw the show last sunday Jaye’J and Vicki were aralyn rights so I’ve been needed to write them this week in particular. little bit of historical aralyn alluded to too, and some nice commentary on anne’s relationship with relationships. I get a big people-pleaser vibe from her, and I think with catherine she has just found that person who is her home and she can sink into. it’s good and I love them <3

Skipping out on 500-odd years of human development meant that there had been plenty for the queens to adjust to when they were first reincarnated. Some things had been an exciting curve; most technology, for instance. Their appreciation for cameras and the ability to save moments forever was obvious in the photo frames dotted all over the house as well as Anna’s scrapbook, Jane’s photo album, and Anne’s string of polaroids. The internet had been a wonder for Cathy’s research , while Catherine was probably most grateful for the documentaries she could watch on a quiet evening when she didn’t want to be alone in her own head.

But there were some things that had been much harder. Remembering that falling ill wasn’t a death sentence anymore, for instance. The first time Kat had come down with a cough she’d burst into Jane’s room in hysterics, sobbing between painful breaths that she didn’t want to die again, and Catherine had seen too clearly the fear in Jane’s gaze as she hushed Kat with reassurances none of them quite believed in. They knew things were safer now, could remember that logically, but when times were stressful it was hard to trust in something so different from what they’d known.

A particularly nasty bout of colds had struck the entire cast and crew, meaning more than one show had to be cancelled as the fight to get six actresses and four band members onto stage became too hard. It was nothing serious, they were all repeatedly assured, just enough to make them all a little miserable and the idea of doing the job they loved so much seem like an impossible feat.

Catherine made sure to close the door quietly as she came home from a show with Anna and Kat. They’d managed to push through to what they were hoping was the tail end of the little epidemic, with all the Ladies in Waiting except Maggie back in commission and half of the queens just about able to pull off a good show.

Cathy’s insistence on pushing through when she was sick had caused her illness to drag on for much longer than anyone else’s, much to her frustration that Anna doing the same had had the opposite outcome, while Jane’s anxiety around illness meant she felt a little too mentally fragile to go on stage even though she was probably physically able to. Anne, on the other hand, had managed not to get sick for long enough that she got cocky thinking she’d escaped, right before she fell ill at the last minute and was still going through the worst of it.

After bringing Jane a mug of peppermint tea and checking that Cathy was still resting properly, Catherine padded quietly up the stairs to Anne’s attic room. Upon peering round the door she saw her curled up on top of the duvet asleep, though she stirred with a quiet hum as the door hinges squeaked slightly.

“Hello love,” Catherine said, crossing the room to sit on the edge of the bed as Anne blinked sleepily up at her. “How are you feeling?”

Anne hummed again as she decided on her answer. “Tired and achy,” she said, which explained why she hadn’t really moved from her lifeless position on the bed.

Giving her a sympathetic smile, Catherine felt her forehead before answering and wasn’t surprised at the head radiating from her skin. “You poor soul,” she murmured as she stroked Anne’s hair away from her face.

“I don’t like it,” Anne muttered, though seemed to relax a little under Catherine’s gentle touch. After several seconds of quiet, she met Catherine’s gaze almost hesitantly before asking “Can… can you just hold me for a little bit? Please?”

Catherine’s heart melted a little at the shyness in her voice, swinging her legs onto the bed to lie down and open her arms. Anne didn’t wait for her to say “Of course,” before she was crawling into her embrace, one arm around her back as she laid her head down just below Catherine’s chin.

They were quiet for a little while, Catherine just enjoying having her girlfriend in her arms and Anne taking obvious comfort from having someone holding her close. She was just wondering if Anne had fallen back to sleep when she shifted a little and asked “Do you remember that time we went riding back then and got lost in the woods together?”

The old memory was an unexpected but pleasant one, and Catherine found herself smiling into Anne’s hair as she replied. “Of course. We began that day at each other’s throats but ended it friends at long last, not that we could let the King know that. Whatever made you think of that now?”

“I dunno. Was just thinking about us, I guess.”

Catherine couldn’t help the frown that made its way onto her face at that, struggling to keep the stiff tension she could feel from building in her shoulders to the point where Anne would notice. “How so?” she asked, trying to keep her voice casual.

Anne shrugged, but when she moved her head up to look at Catherine there was only a soft smile on her face. “How its different with us than anything I’ve felt before.”

The curious quiet from Catherine clearly registered as a cue for her to continue, as Anne coughed into the crook of her elbow to clear her raspy throat before she spoke again. “Normally when I fell for people it’d be all at once. I wanted them, they wanted me, we’d both just want the people we showed to each other and when we really saw each other it never lasted. When they really saw me.” She trailed off for a moment then, a faraway look appearing on her face as she finished “I was always too much.”

“Never for me,” Catherine interrupted quietly, kissing Anne’s forehead lightly.

“That’s what I mean,” Anne fought on, finding Catherine’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “There was never any big moment with you, y’know? It never hit me like a bus that I was crushing on you which was what I always looked for. But it was that day in the woods that I actually saw you for the first time and you saw me, and for the first time ever that made things better.”

She broke off to sniffle loudly, and it was only when she looked back up into Catherine’s adoring expression that she realised that the usually so hard-headed Anne Boleyn was actually almost crying.

“And it took far too long but eventually I just knew. It was you the whole time. It was always going to be you.”

Catherine let out a choked up breathe as Anne finished, pulling her closer and holding her tightly. “I love you,” she said, not a single shred of hesitance in her voice. She’d struggled to utter those three words for so long, but now they fell off her tongue with practised ease from just how much she meant them.

Anne hummed happily from somewhere around Catherine’s collar, willingly accepting the kiss that Catherine placed on her lips before she gave a reluctant frown. “You’ll get sick if you do that,” she whined, sounding very unwilling to be the voice of reason for once.

“I’ve already had this illness, I’m immune to it now,” Catherine pointed out somewhat confidently, though pulled an unsure expression as she added “Well, I think that’s how it works.”

Laughter from Anne brought the smile back to her face, soothing her girlfriend’s worries by kissing her on the nose instead which just made her giggle harder. But she grew a little more serious when she spoke again, thinking of what Anne had said as she voiced her thoughts aloud. “You know what I think of love at first sight, but there was something on that day you’re right. Familiarity. Like my soul had found it’s home on Earth and it was with you,” she said wistfully.

“I love it when you get poetic,” Anne said, her voice somewhere between adoring and teasing.

Catherine gave a quiet huff, but her pretend annoyance lasted a second before the soft expression returned to her face. “You know what I mean though,” she said, and Anne hummed in agreement before she continued. “You’re the one person who I can be truly honest with. I never doubt my words with you or second-guess myself. I don’t have to be Catherine of Aragon when it’s just us within these walls. I can just be Catalina.” She loved it when Anne called her by her Spanish name; loved the distinction it gave her between her usual self and the person she knew inside, loved how the clumsy syllables rolled off her non-native tongue.

Nodding, Anne held Catherine’s gaze with a loving smile. “To me you are just Catalina,” she said, as if it was the most simple thing in the world. As if loving her was the most simple thing in the world.

“And I love you for it.”

Anne smiled. “Love you too.”

Catherine rolled onto her back as Anne clung to her tighter, curling up in the crook of Catherine’s arm with her head on her chest and legs tangled with hers. The last words before she drifted off to sleep were barely audible, but Catherine could pick out enough consonants from the sleepy mumble to get an idea of what she was saying.

“I always feel safe when I’m here with you.”

Pressing a kiss to Anne’s forehead, Catherine lay still with only her hand moving to card gentle fingers through Anne’s hair while she slept. She knew better than most the trust issues that Anne kept so quiet, so the true enormity of Anne’s statement wasn’t lost on her. So she held her close while she got the rest she so desperately needed, wondering what she had ever done to deserve to have someone like Anne walk into her life and look at her like she had hung the stars.

Catherine was ok with not knowing the answer to that. But what she did know what that she had no intention of ever letting her go.