#how not to date a dragon

[queer-book-character-tournament]

Characters, book, and author names under the cut

Thom Morgan/Clay Parker - Love, Hate, & Clickbait by Liz Bowery

Milo/Xander - How Not To Date A Dragon by Lana Kole

Ballister Blackheart/Ambrosius Goldenloin - Nimona by N.D. Stevenson 

Vivienne (“Vivi”) Duarte/Heather - The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

[transbookoftheday]

How Not to Date a Dragon by Lana Kole

Milo is no stranger to the fine things, so why in the world would he deny himself the finest thing he’s ever seen across the small bar in his even smaller home town?

Spoiler alert: he doesn’t, and his curiosity leaves him cuffed to one of the Hunters of Obscure Artifacts.

The HOA’s magic cuffs leave him unable to don his scales and his dragon itches for freedom.

Trapped hand in hand with his supposed mortal enemy, that’s not the only itch Milo would mind scratching.

Xander, however, has other plans. They need this dragon’s treasure, because that’s what hunters do.

But ever since the Big Reveal, torturing dragons for their treasure is outlawed. A minor complication, and one that requires the kinds of creative solutions Xander excels at.

They’ll do almost anything to secure this treasure, and get unchained from the all too charming dragon it belongs to.

Is there any line a desperate treasure hunter won’t cross?

~~~

Join them on their journey to freedom and discover if X really does mark the spot in this delightful rom com.

[franticvampirereads]

This was really good! The snark and the banter and the softness got me right in the feels. I loved that Xander and Milo were such dumbasses around each other and that Milo fell first (but Xander was right behind him)! These two were just so much fun and I would happily read more of their adventures.

Another thing that I really loved about this book was the care that went into crafting these characters. Especially Xander! It’s not often that you come across a trans-nonbinary main character in an urban fantasy book. I loved that they had this super tough exterior when facing the rest of the world and a soft mushy interior when it came to Milo. And I loved that Milo completely respected Xanders pronouns and their body and let them take the lead when it came to sex. It was just lovely all around. How Not To Date A Dragon is getting four out of five stars! I can’t wait to dive into the rest of this series. 😊

PS: this book does have a misgendering scene with Xander’s parental figure/mentor. So please be careful when you read this one.

Reading Challenge Prompt Fills:

Shop Your Shelves: heatwave, in a series

Read Queerly 2023: nonbinary main character

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 5/5

Book Blurb: Milo is no stranger to the fine things, so why in the world would he deny himself the finest thing he’s ever seen across the small bar in his even smaller home town? Spoiler alert: he doesn’t, and his curiosity leaves him cuffed to one of the Hunters of Obscure Artifacts. The HOA’s magic cuffs leave him unable to don his scales and his dragon itches for freedom. Trapped hand in hand with his supposed mortal enemy, that’s not the only itch Milo would mind scratching. Xander, however, has other plans. They need this dragon’s treasure, because that’s what hunters do. But ever since the Big Reveal, torturing dragons for their treasure is outlawed. A minor complication, and one that requires the kinds of creative solutions Xander excels at. They’ll do almost anything to secure this treasure, and get unchained from the all too charming dragon it belongs to. Is there any line a desperate treasure hunter won’t cross? ~~~ Join them on their journey to freedom and discover if X really does mark the spot in this delightful rom com.

Review:

A dragon who just wants to spend his days baking but is suddenly stuck (literally) with a hunter who wants his hoard... but the real treasure might be right in front of them. Milo is a dragon who is living a peaceful life, protecting the small town he lives in and running his own bakery. One day a new stranger, or rather hunter appears in town and suddenly before Milo knows it he is handcuffed to said stranger. Xander is a hunter, Xander wants and needs this dragon’s treasure because its what hunters do and what their family expects them to do. Xander needs to secure the treasure but the charming dragon accidentally makes them lose the key and now Xander and Milo are handcuffed together and things are about to get complicated. Xander has only ever wanted to fit in and their family is the only one that has accepted that they are a nonbinary individual, but then there comes Milo, who instantly accepts them, who is sweet, and pretty, and kind... and now Xander doesn’t know what to do with their feelings. Milo has always loved collecting treasures... but now he can’t help himself with wanting this very hot hunter despite everything. Both Milo and Xander were never really meant to fall for each other but the more time they spend together the more they are beginning to realize that the only treasure there is, is each other. This was seriously such a cute story!!! I absolutely adored the couple and how sweet Milo and Xander were for each other. I have adored this series and I can’t wait to see what couple Lana does next!!

**Arc was received from Lana Kole and all my opinions are my own**

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Viago, when playing as Rook De Riva: you IDIOT you were my favorite fledgling why did you have to make a mess of this now I have to jump through all these convoluted hoops to keep you safe. Teia stop telling Rook how much I missed them it's not funny they could have DIED. also your room is exactly the way you left it please come home

Strife, when playing as Rook Aldwir: Why hasn't this weird bug i kicked out of our camp ages ago died yet :|

[coffeeanddaggers]

I MEAN YEAH THIS IS ACCURATE AF!

[foldingfittedsheets]

So one thing I’ve noticed is that people’s DnD characters may vary but there is usually an underlying thread that they all have in common. This thread is typically related to what that person struggles with the most.

For instance, my betrotheds DnD characters: a bitchy warlock we had to bust out of two different pacts, a sassy barbarian, a reformed drow cultist, and a sunshine fighter cleric.

All these characters were wildly different but at their very core struggle was them grappling with their self worth. My betrothed struggles with their worth a great deal and even with different facets showing their characters all have that too.

Mine all tend to contend with different themes of loneliness and acceptance. Surprise, surprise, the little autistic gremlin yearns to have been met with more love and lasting friendships.

So we’re at breakfast. I am meeting a new friend of my betrotheds for the first time. It’s been twenty minutes since I’ve met this man. I say my theory. He laughs. He starts to describe a few of his characters but specifies that he often has healing aspects. He gives a very broad overview of their character arcs.

I ponder for a moment then said, “Would you like to have my assessment?”

He laughed, “Sure!”

“We’ve just met. It’s gonna get real.”

“Bring it on.”

“I think your struggle is that you feel you must offer something of value or service to people to be worthy of their love.”

His jaw dropped. His fork froze midway to his mouth. A potato fell. He stared into space as this sank in. Quietly he said, “Oh.”

[paperglader]

i just feel like someone should take one for the team and write the fanfic where miss homotron goes to dragonstone on foot, meets her situationship’s new lover, and immediately goes like blind with jealousy and fury (rhaenyra, as always when alicent’s near, looks and behaves like a very confused kicked puppy)

i just need homotron and saphotron to meet, so the real war can begin

[zuppizup]

With the revelation that Rayla likes romantic books, coupled with Callum's love for non-fiction, I am filled with the sudden urge to write a Rayllum bookshop AU.

[kabsey]

crow rook: this is my son, jacobus

viago: he’s not your son

rook: he is now. i’m claiming him

viago: you can’t just claim him

rook: you claimed me

viago: that was-

rook: that makes you his grandpa!

jacobus: abuelo!

viago: por la sangre del hacedor

[timethehobo]

Just a scribble. I’ve been using this style a lot for him cos it’s kinda fun. His dead stares tho…

[trialsofthedas]

Emmrich: What makes a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

Lucanis: A stab wound.

[bohemian-nights]

People really are missing the point of a character like Nettles. Being the a non-Valyrian dragonrider is what makes her different(in every positive definition of that word) and helps to serve a larger purpose in this story.

Valyrian blood is not special. It’s not needed to do great things. No one is special because of what family they happen to be born into.

A non-Valyrian Nettles shows that we are more than the circumstances which we are born into. Our birth, our names, and our very blood does not define us. Our actions are what do. We can overcome so much and rise to become absolutely extraordinary with a little bit of determination, patience, and a dash of help along the way. Nettles exemplifies that to the fullest extent.

She's more than a Black Valryian. She doesn’t have to be Valyrian. She shouldn’t have to be Valyrian.

She’s a survivor. She’s a final girl. She’s a Black low-born girl likely without a drop of dragons blood that tames a wild dragon with patience that killed countless others who had dragons blood. She survived the Dance where others high and low alike fell and perished to become a firewitch to the Burned Men.

Her legacy is immortalized in the history books(and by the Burned Men cause they still worship her) as one of the last(if not the last) dragonrider(s) before Dany all without having any known Valyrian ancestry.

[casino-lights]

I posted an excerpt a while back from a wip I titled "shameless illario apologism" and I think it's time I post the whole thing because this stupid man resurrected my urge to write. a drabble about the ending of A Murder of Crows is beneath the cut with some mentions of Illario x oc because he is unfortunately my pookie. enjoy!

He looked so pitiful on his knees, gasping for air, one eye red and swollen from a particularly swift blow to the face. A single tear streaked down his bruised cheek, leaving a shimmering trail that caught the light with every breath he heaved. His doublet was more crimson than blue now, each dark blotch blossoming further across his chest as the blood from his wounds soaked into the embroidered silk. 

It would never come out. Yet more stains to add to the ones quickly mounting on Illario Dellamorte’s reputation.

“What are you waiting for, cousin?” he panted, fully expecting Lucanis’ blade to sink into his flesh any second now. “Finish what you start.”

Though he cast his eyes downward, he refused to close them. He would not meet his end in the dark. But his grandmother’s voice made him raise his face, and his heart plummeted into his stomach as he watched her make her way toward the stage he knelt upon.

“Get up, Illario,” she said flatly, as if she were simply asking him to take his feet off the coffee table. “No one from House Dellamorte kneels.”

As Viago hoisted him roughly to his feet, he found himself wondering if his parents were forced to their knees as they died. Were Lucanis’ parents? Were their cousins? Were their cousins even old enough to stand?

Illario forced himself to meet Lucanis’ eyes. Defiant, even until the end. If he was going to die at his cousin’s hand, he would look him in the eyes first. He would look their grandmother in the eyes and hope, as he had hoped his whole life, that maybe she would see that her least favorite grandson was capable of more than she thought. 

Lucanis asked his companion what to do with him. Rook. The woman who saved him from the prison he was in by Illario’s hand.

She responded with a question in kind: “Didn’t you say he’s like a brother to you? That he is your brother?”

As if Illario needed to feel even more shame. It was hard enough to look Lucanis in the eyes without memories of their childhood flashing across his mind. Wyvern-hunting. Prickle-burrs. Canes across the back. Coffee in the kitchen. Too-hot cookies. Tying knots with bloody fingers. Sauce-covered faces. Tear-stained cheeks. Crying against each other in the dark.

Lucanis was all he had. The only person he could ever rely on. The last member of his family who didn’t hate him, didn’t hurt him, didn’t think he was worthless. And Illario betrayed him.

Of course, when Illario taunted him, told him he used to be somebody, Lucanis replied with a bitter, too-quick, “And you never were.” Maybe he was hiding the hatred all along. Maybe he never respected Illario at all. Maybe Zara was right. His family never loved him.

“He was my best friend,” Lucanis said, looking at Rook. “One of my only friends, before you.”

Zara’s voice rang in Illario’s ears. A touching lie.

In a voice thick with the blood that coated his throat, Illario rasped, “You think you can show me mercy? That is not up to you, is it? Caterina is still First Talon.”

And like clockwork, Caterina answered, “His decision stands. Lucanis is the new First Talon of the Antivan Crows.”

Lucanis looked more surprised than Illario. He couldn’t muster shock. With both of them alive and present, this was the only possible outcome. This was why Zara told him he had to get rid of them. This was what he had suffered Lucanis’ presumed death to prevent.

“Viago, keep him out of trouble,” Lucanis said with a weary sigh. “I’ll come by to discuss the details in a day or two.”

“I’m no miracle worker,” Viago replied dryly, “but I’ll see what I can do.”

Illario the troublemaker. Dellamorte the Lesser. It was who he had always been. Sometimes, when he was in a more generous mood, he would joke about it. But it was always true, whether or not he gave himself the nickname in jest. Caterina saw him as an annoyance and a burden, and Lucanis… who knows how Lucanis really saw him? Right now, he was treating him like a little boy throwing a tantrum, not someone who had the throne of the most feared guild of assassins in Thedas within his grasp mere minutes ago. Was it brotherly love, or blatant disregard for everything Illario had accomplished?

All this for nothing. Worse than nothing. His grand prize was a crippling, mortifying defeat at the hands of the Demon of Vyrantium and an outsider, in front of every Talon, every House, every Crow with any kind of sway. The best he could hope for now was either a merciful death or a lot of short memories. His reward for his scheme, nearly two years in the making, was disgrace.

As Viago pulled him away, he looked only at his cousin. He mustered half a grin through the searing embarrassment. “Lucanis…”

“Don’t, Illario. Not now.” And he turned his head away.

Every step hurt worse than the last. His adrenaline wore off, leaving him tired and sore. He felt as pitiful as he looked. He felt like a child. His chest burned, his throat felt raw, and though his wounds stung and still seeped blood, it was his lungs that tightened, swelling with the urge to cry. 

He had not cried since Lucanis’ wake. Ironically enough, Viago had to escort him up the stairs then, too. Illario suddenly wished he was as drunk as he’d been that night, or that Viago would be merciful enough to knock him out again. Based on the sheer hatred in his eyes, though, that seemed like a faraway prospect. And his head would still hurt in the morning without any of the blissful forgetfulness a drunken stupor would bring.

The only thing missing from the next morning would be Lidia. She’d practically torn the Diamond’s guest wing apart looking for him after the wake. She hounded him until he ate, followed him through the city until he was weary enough to sleep, held his head in her lap and ran her fingers through his hair and soothed him until he could drag himself out of bed. She never knew how much of that paralysis, that deep depression he fell into was pure guilt. And still, all she ever did was defend him. After that depression was over, when Caterina and Viago questioned his ability to return to work; after Lucanis came back, when he tricked her into leaving the Diamond just in time for Zara’s people to take Caterina; after he killed Zara, when he held Lidia with scrubbed-raw hands and told her he didn’t want to fight anymore and that he could finally give her everything he promised if she could only just trust him a little while longer…

There would be no similar concern from her this time - not after what he put her through. He drained her blood in her sleep so he could find her if she ever left. He lied to her for over a year about where he was and with whom. He kissed her goodnight and held her until she was fast asleep before swapping his chest for a pillow and sneaking out their bedroom window so he could see Zara. 

He would return to Lidia before sunrise. That had been his promise to himself. Return to Lidia before sunrise, because she always looked her loveliest at dawn. He slipped back in through the window after a bath and crawled back into their bed, and she curled up against him and smiled and mumbled something drowsily about how he smelled nice. Every time, she asked if the job went well. Every time, he said yes. And every time, he felt that heavy ache like stones piled on top of his chest, another weight added with each contented sigh or nuzzle of her head.

He touched Zara with the same hands he touched her with only an hour before. He did it so many times he lost count. He always tried to make it up to her in the morning - a one-sided debt that kept growing and growing as he drew from her seemingly never-ending well of trust without ever replenishing it. Another betrayal to add to his list. Another person who actually loved him, lost to his own ambitions and Zara’s unfulfilled promises. He thought he would only lose Lucanis. He had prepared himself for that. He thought it would be quick and painless and Lucanis would never feel the sting of knowing his cousin - his brother - sold him out. 

And now he stood at the door of the smallest guest room in Villa Dellamorte, having cost himself Lucanis, Caterina, Zara, Teia, and everyone else who may have loved or even simply tolerated him once. He had no one and nothing to show for his efforts.

Not even Lidia. 

It would have been too much to hope that Viago would bring him to his own room. That would be much too comfortable for a traitor like him - and much too close to the new First Talon’s room. He stepped inside the guest room without a word to Viago, whose disapproving stare said more than enough to fill the silence.

As Illario sat weakly on the footstool at the end of the bed, Viago rolled his eyes and finally broke the quiet. “I’ll have a healer stop by. It’s more than you deserve, but I’m sure you know that. The First Talon wants you alive. Think on why.”

He locked the door behind him. And Illario was alone.

[vaguely-concerned]

lmao if you're a mourn watch (and possibly other urban-ish based backgrounds too I'm not sure?) mage, when you get the scene with strife coming to pick up emmrich for their date (bless) and he says that 'the thing about your friend is that for a city mage, he isn't afraid to play in the mud' thing, rook puts up the faux big wounded eyes and protests 'hey, I'm a city mage! 🥺'. (to which strife says 'well we can't all be perfect' and stone cold walks away. king. have fun out there with the lightning bugs and your lanky fancylad I've seen his fully unleashed rizz in action and you're a lucky guy <3<3<3)

[lunarharp]

played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles