#how not to date a dragon

[queer-book-character-tournament]

Characters, book, and author names under the cut

Thom Morgan/Clay Parker - Love, Hate, & Clickbait by Liz Bowery

Milo/Xander - How Not To Date A Dragon by Lana Kole

Ballister Blackheart/Ambrosius Goldenloin - Nimona by N.D. Stevenson 

Vivienne (“Vivi”) Duarte/Heather - The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

[transbookoftheday]

How Not to Date a Dragon by Lana Kole

Milo is no stranger to the fine things, so why in the world would he deny himself the finest thing he’s ever seen across the small bar in his even smaller home town?

Spoiler alert: he doesn’t, and his curiosity leaves him cuffed to one of the Hunters of Obscure Artifacts.

The HOA’s magic cuffs leave him unable to don his scales and his dragon itches for freedom.

Trapped hand in hand with his supposed mortal enemy, that’s not the only itch Milo would mind scratching.

Xander, however, has other plans. They need this dragon’s treasure, because that’s what hunters do.

But ever since the Big Reveal, torturing dragons for their treasure is outlawed. A minor complication, and one that requires the kinds of creative solutions Xander excels at.

They’ll do almost anything to secure this treasure, and get unchained from the all too charming dragon it belongs to.

Is there any line a desperate treasure hunter won’t cross?

~~~

Join them on their journey to freedom and discover if X really does mark the spot in this delightful rom com.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Viago, when playing as Rook De Riva: you IDIOT you were my favorite fledgling why did you have to make a mess of this now I have to jump through all these convoluted hoops to keep you safe. Teia stop telling Rook how much I missed them it's not funny they could have DIED. also your room is exactly the way you left it please come home

Strife, when playing as Rook Aldwir: Why hasn't this weird bug i kicked out of our camp ages ago died yet :|

[seafoamdew]

sk8er bois

[trashcatkid]

FUCK A ‘DREAM ROTATION’ OR ‘MY TOP TEN FAVES’, WHATS YOUR DREAM CAMPAIGN????

[coffeeanddaggers]

I MEAN YEAH THIS IS ACCURATE AF!

[foldingfittedsheets]

So one thing I’ve noticed is that people’s DnD characters may vary but there is usually an underlying thread that they all have in common. This thread is typically related to what that person struggles with the most.

For instance, my betrotheds DnD characters: a bitchy warlock we had to bust out of two different pacts, a sassy barbarian, a reformed drow cultist, and a sunshine fighter cleric.

All these characters were wildly different but at their very core struggle was them grappling with their self worth. My betrothed struggles with their worth a great deal and even with different facets showing their characters all have that too.

Mine all tend to contend with different themes of loneliness and acceptance. Surprise, surprise, the little autistic gremlin yearns to have been met with more love and lasting friendships.

So we’re at breakfast. I am meeting a new friend of my betrotheds for the first time. It’s been twenty minutes since I’ve met this man. I say my theory. He laughs. He starts to describe a few of his characters but specifies that he often has healing aspects. He gives a very broad overview of their character arcs.

I ponder for a moment then said, “Would you like to have my assessment?”

He laughed, “Sure!”

“We’ve just met. It’s gonna get real.”

“Bring it on.”

“I think your struggle is that you feel you must offer something of value or service to people to be worthy of their love.”

His jaw dropped. His fork froze midway to his mouth. A potato fell. He stared into space as this sank in. Quietly he said, “Oh.”

[paperglader]

i just feel like someone should take one for the team and write the fanfic where miss homotron goes to dragonstone on foot, meets her situationship’s new lover, and immediately goes like blind with jealousy and fury (rhaenyra, as always when alicent’s near, looks and behaves like a very confused kicked puppy)

i just need homotron and saphotron to meet, so the real war can begin

[kabsey]

crow rook: this is my son, jacobus

viago: he’s not your son

rook: he is now. i’m claiming him

viago: you can’t just claim him

rook: you claimed me

viago: that was-

rook: that makes you his grandpa!

jacobus: abuelo!

viago: por la sangre del hacedor

[zuppizup]

With the revelation that Rayla likes romantic books, coupled with Callum's love for non-fiction, I am filled with the sudden urge to write a Rayllum bookshop AU.

[voie-lacte3]

texas roadhouse rolls

—the one where you go on a date to texas roadhouse

| check out the rest of his masterlist!

| taglist! anon list!

| fluff?? lwk crack

| can yall tell im feining for sum roadhouse 🤤

you're in your bedroom, hair clipped up, headband on, primer being rubbed on. "whats the vibe like tonight, hun?" you ask, mason peeping his head from your closet. "so we're definitely matching," "oh yes, what we thinking??"

"so, since im wearing," he motions to his hrown shirt, baggy jeans, and brown sombas. "we obviously gotta go with this for you," he pulls out a cute brown, off the shoulder, crop top. "mhm mhm, what about pants?" "skirt actually," he shows you your denim (mini) skirt, "and finally," he pulls out your identical brown sombas.

"look at you fashion diva,"

mason rolls his eyes playfully, causing you to smile at him through the mirror. "dont rush me mason, i know that look. a baddie needs time to get ready"

────୨ৎ────

"babe, you're gonna make me crash the car" mason says as you lean over the center console, twisting your mascara wand dangerously close to his like of sight

"at least we'll look hot," you mumble, eyes wide as you coat your lashes. "we wouldn't be in this predicament if you wouldn't have rushed me" you pout, making him grin

one of his hands instinctively reaches over to rest on your thigh, "sorry queen, wont happen again" you hum in contentment, resting one hand on top of his while the other fidgets with the radio

you land on some random country station, smiling and turning it up. "ughhhhh," you groan, "imma jump out of this moving vehicle." he grins, glancing over at you with that crooked, smug little smirk. "please, you’d never leave me. not with the rolls waiting."

you gasp suddenly, recognizing the melody of the song immediately.

"i send the check for the lease every january, to eleven hundred beckham ridge road", you start, making goofy faces at mason

the 2 of you sing along to Luke Combs' hit song In Case I Ain't Around. it was slightly off key, more screams than actual singing, and lots of chaos,

"IN CASE I AINT AROUND WHEN YOU GET OLDER—" mason dramatically hits your thigh

"I JUST THOUGHT I'D TELL YOU NOW SO DOWN THE ROAD YOU'RE," you clutch your chest,

"ALL GOOD TO GO THROUGH THE HIGHS AND LOWS AND ALL LIFE'S UPS AND DOWNS—" his voice cracks, but he stays committed

"YEAH THAT WAY IM STILL THERE FOR YOU SOMEHOW, IN CASE I AINT AROUNDDDD," the 2 of you fall into a fit of giggles, mason pulling into the parking lot right as the song finishes.

"if i died, i'd haunt you"

"hello?!?" you look over at him, "so like, thats really random! how about we dont think about death," you cup his cheeks, squishing them. "plus, you already haunt me with your stupid good looks and adorable dimples"

he laughs, leaning over and kisses your cheek, "cmon, lets go stuff our faces in rolls"

────୨ৎ────

the hostess seats you in a corner booth beneath a dim neon sign, promising to be back in a bit to get your drink orders.

as soon as she leaves, one of mason's hands is in the bread basket.

"bro, its not going anywhere"

"don’t judge,” he says, mouth already full of warm bread and cinnamon butter. "i’ve been dreaming about this." you laugh as his eyes dilate, "i think i have competition,"

your boyfriend doesnt even hear you, completely entranced with shoving rolls in his mouth, only proving your point. "mace, baby, slow down, you know we can get more, right?"

mason practically moans at the thought of more rolls, "you’re literally going feral over rolls right now," "you love it, excuse me— yeah, can we get more rolls please? thank you so much"

"mason thames, no shot you just finished a whole basket of rolls" "did you want a bite?" you roll your eyes playfully, shoving his knee from under the table

"question, would it make me a fatass if i get a baked potato and some mac?"

your sweet, sweet boyfriend deadpans. "did you seriously just ask me, the person who just downed like, 5? 6? rolls, if getting a baked potato— "loaded baked potato..." he sighs, "if getting a loaded baked potato and macaroni—" "would make me fat? yes. yes i did."

"my love get whatever you want— thank you! i guarantee you'll still be body tea compared to me when im done with this basket" he instantly grabs another roll, slapping more butter on it

"you're right, i'll get a caesar salad to balance it out— hey! let me get at least one roll"

────୨ৎ────

"holy fuck..." you let out, patting your tummy in content. he sips the last of his sweet tea and smiles at you, like you didn't just eat enough food to feed a small village

"babe." he hums, not really paying attention, "mason.", at that, he looks up at you. "i'm actually fucking enormous, do not look at me when we get up. why the fuck would you choose a shirt that fits THIS tight?!?"

your lover laughs, "first of all, i chose it cause we gotta be baddies together. second of all, i love allll of you, bloated or not." you groan, "can we please, go on a walk or something??" mason laughs once again, asking for the check as you lay your head on your hands

"bro i dont think i can walk any further—" you sigh as you reach the door of the restaurant, moving aside slightly so an elderly couple could enter. "genuinely, give me a second", your loving, sweet, kind hearted boyfriend, no hesitation, picks you right up

"MASON!" you squeal, "put me down! i look like such a pick me, oh my God, put me downnn, im pretty sure im like 10 pounds heavier—" you practically hear the eye roll in his voice, "i love you, but shut up. let me carry my beautiful girlfriend in peace"

"you’re insufferable."

"oh shut up, you like it.”

(you do.)

────୨ৎ────

30 minutes later you're at a park. you walked around for about 15 minutes until you felt at ease.

"now that i dont feel like manny the woolly-fucking mammoth, lets take some pics. your insta is highkey dry," mason fakes a gasp, clutching his chest at your insult

nonetheless, he takes his phone, following you like a lost puppy. "right..here?" he questions as you pose in between 2 tall trees, lighting very scarce. "yes mace, its giving twilight" "i literally dont know what that means but pose"

in that moment, he dedicates his life to taking pictures of you, "YES BABY! chin up, MHM! just like that—" "you're actually on illegal levels of hot right now" "FOR FREE?!?" "WAIT!! lemme do a point 5, gotta get that fake paparazzi vibe"

you laugh at his words, posing in various ways, the poor boy twisting in weird weird, even laying on the ground at some point, claiming he needed all the right angles.

"you’re so pretty.” he mumbles, snapping another picture before you walk towards him. "you’re so clingy." he hands you your phone, "yep." he leans down, kissing your cheek

click, "seriously?" "whattt, it was such a cute moment" "send it to me, i'll be chalant tonight"

you turn, kissing him properly. "im glad i secured the cutest baddie in texas" you giggle at his words, feeling his arms wrap around you in a hug, forehead against yours

"cant wait to marry you," you whisper against his lips. he smiled. "so… loaded baked potatoes and texas roadhouse rolls at the wedding?

you kiss him before he can say anything else.

a/n: tbh. this is lowkey shitty and idek what it is, but im sleep deprived asf 💔 and also, i probably wont post until Monday cause i wanna catch up on my asks, sorry chat

tags: @bluebvrriee @v4mpire-bit3s @neroloops @m-e-m06 @icollectrubberduckies @tuttifrutt1 @unsaidjaelinrose @sorry-for-party-rocking-rah @courta13 @thegr8estpuff @90zl1ps @user168537 @katie-the-bookworm @cecedelove @ktaerssoi @celestiiql

[dividers from @cursed-carmine]

[timethehobo]

Just a scribble. I’ve been using this style a lot for him cos it’s kinda fun. His dead stares tho…

[stuck-in-jelly]

Soren being protective of Claudia when the boys who go out with her make her cry

[bingusteaweeb]

i had a vision . a very gay, yuriful vision

[blinksalot]

hmm today i will drop the trailer for season 2 part 2. surely nothing bad will happen 24 hours later

[dellamortte]

In matters of the heart, one must be discerning.