#how do i restrict properly
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
•-•;
akskskakshdkjf how do ppl exercise while on kcal restriction bc i cannot bring myself to do anything let alone exercise and now i feel guilty asf idk what exercise i can even do in my room without seeming random/weird
maybe next time imma go try doing one in school at lunch cuz my friends usually abandon me anyways seems more useful than yeeting in the bathroom like i used to T^T
damn feels lonely here and everywhere
#shitpost#shitposting#random shit#am i developing an ed#tw ed diet#how do i restrict properly#how do i exercise#@na trigger#ana trigger#personal rant#i feel dead#dizzy#⭐️ ving#ed not ed sheeran
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tis' the season where I mentally and physically suffer. Complaining below (feel free to ignore, I'm just venting. I usually do this every year to get most of it out of my system lol):
mmm the fall/winter SAD is indeed in full swing. No warmth + no sun = a bad bad time. I always get so annoyed when ppl assume that I love winter bc I'm a "winter baby", as if that has any sort of divine intervention on instantaneously adapting you to perfectly fit the climate you were born in. NOPE. Silly human superstition. I start to freeze once it hits below 20C. I wish I lived in a warmer climate o|-< The depresso is probably going to make me very whiny and moody until next spring, so an early forewarning bc I'm EXTREMELY annoying about it this time of year bc it's the only way I know how to deal with it. But moreso in addition to the physical stuff is how badly it messes with my mind, making me so depressed to the point of just... sitting in non-moving silence where I become stiff as a board (very painful btw) and I isolate, making the bad depresso brain time even worse where I overthink everything bc of the silence and isolation. It's also always the time of year where everyone goes quiet too, which is understandable, but also makes things 10x worse (I am very alone in my life and where I am, and kind of rely on online friends bc they're all I have. I don't even have a pet. I'm literally just, loner mode. I don't really have much family to speak of, and only one family member I do speak to. I have little to no connections at all. But regardless, this is still the best living situation I've been in my whole life, so that's saying something).
#i hate the cold; I hate ice; cold air hurts my skin and burns my lungs#i hate snow (I'm sorry I just don't think it's pretty. It's gross; erases all colour/everything; blinding; kills everything; claustrophobic#I hate long nights; i hate all the darkness#I take Vitamin D drops every day during winter and they don't really help#I also use those special lights meant to help during the long darkness for the same reason; and they also do not help#nothing works!!!!!! eating and drinking hot things doesn't help me stay warm bc heat dissipates away quickly and doesn't help my extremitie#the cold makes me SO dry and dehydrated; makes my bones hurt; makes outside DANGEROUS AF. ICE IS BAD. BE CAREFUL.#I can't retain heat; my hypothyroidism makes me colder by default and I just don't metabolize good/fast enough to keep myself warm#(my body temp is lower than average; fun fact! same with my blood pressure! both of them are very low)#I think my average from all the times I've had it scanned during covid was 32-36C. No idea how that works; I just remember checking it a lo#my fingers and hands are going to freeze; making it harder to draw/type/etc.#I'm not going to wear gloves inside my home bc that's dumb and they don't help anyways. It will just screw up my ability to use my hands#I get to be in pain for months with increased potential of being sick :/#also I HATE bundling/layering myself with clothing or blankets; it's suffocating; restricting; sensory hell for me; sweaters are uncomfy :(#also whenever I try to do that all it does is insulate the cold for me; keeping me colder for even longer!!!!! it's so unfair!!!!#I've worn out 2 space heaters already and they don't work properly anymore (I used them both so much I wore out my preferred settings lol)#sobs; i'm a sad plant lizard
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
making any sort of edit that requires decent quality, decent size individual stage photos of each band member is all fun and games until it's time to look for ones of ashton cos you'll have two main fighters to pick from:
1. good quality and size but 87% of his face is blocked by one or more components of his kit in a way that makes it borderline impossible to edit it out and the lighting is also dark blue and the photo is therefore gonna be very irritating to work with
2. the motif itself is fantastic, no part of his upper body is blocked by anything, he's angled directly towards the camera, the lighting is perfect, but the photo appears to have been taken with a broken and battered sony ericsson w810
cracking my knuckles, folding up my sleeves and preparing to indulge in a frustrated cry yk
#and i get it!! i do!! i understand very well why there are soooo few good stage photos of ashton out there#cos even if you're barricade. no phone camera is good enough to get hq pics of him cos of how much you have to zoom#or. no phone camera that i've ever seen at least#cos. like. there's a difference between photos that look hq on your phone and photos that actually are hq once you pop them--#--into photoshop and start working with them#and not a whole lot of digital cameras will be good enough either since no venues that i've ever been at allow detachable lenses#a lot of venues have restrictions on how long built-in lenses can be at max zoom too for that matter#and even if you have the right equipment available. there's the challenge of him being partly hidden behind the kit for most of the show#so then it's like...you have to be press or friends/family or ryan to be in a position to get PROPERLY good stage photos of ashton#so i understand why the pickings are so slim but it's still a pain in the ass🥺
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#sometimes. most times. if i cant articulate things properly i feel like my heads gonna explode. which is unfortunate bc i have the#language is hard brain problems. my neurology makes articulation difficult. but i try reguardless. which is sometimes. most times.#exhausting. that words gets thrown around a lot when i describe the patterns of my thoughts. exhausting. and it is i guess. tho id say its#more annoying and frustrating. but maybe its also exhausting. hard to tell when its how u think. but ive been reading a lot of papers this#weekend. enjoying the papers i read. papers about photosynthesis at the edge of habitability. about genetis and the structure and functions#of proteins. and the learning curve is steep but im learning bit by bit. and it just sorta makes me sad bc the way that my brain works has#so damaged the way that i interact with the world and i can see it at every step of my academic career. i dont even kno what to say abt the#past 2 years of my life. from where i stand now its just a black hole of self destruction. y did i do that? i dunno. at the time i was just#following the arbitrary rules and restrictions laid out for me within my head. did these rules have a rational basis? no. not usually. but#thats how it had to be. exhausting. but even then i coukd sometimes see thru to the wonder. and it was agony bc i wasnt allowed to think#abt it. its still agony now but i can feel it more often. maybe that's what happiness is to me. to be so full of wonder that i cant take it#i cant exist in that state or id b nonfunctional. its too big for my chest. it makes me want to scream and weep and pull at my hair. and#and its maddening bc i cant articulate it properly. except to call upon media short hands. there is wonder here. a nightmarish description#but not always. sometimes it was beautiful. theres a reason ive read annihilati0n 5 times despite hating the book. theres a reason i rewatch#the terror nearly once a month. to find beauty in a thing that causes you such terror and pain. theres something about it i can't find the#words for and its driving me nuts. exhausting. but so it goes#unrelated
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
having a LOT of fun recreating my warden and hawke using the ttrpg system
#i just wish you could get more spells and talents#like you get 12 and 10 respectively#(technically you can get up to 24 spells with careful talent choices and 16 talents if you count specialisations)#(but when they include every dao spell AND a bunch from the other games AND a bunch created for the ttrpg……it’s a bit limiting!)#i wonder why they decided to make it only go up to level 20#i get it for class powers but couldn’t they say like.. level as high as you want and alternate levels for spells and talents#and maybe start alternating levels for focuses or allow +4 focuses so you don’t just end up with every single focus#(not that there’s much risk of that. narrowing down my focus choices was just as hard)#idk it’s weird to limit something like that when you’re not restricted by video game mechanics#if i ever play this (which i hope i do) i’d want to extend it a bit#anyway. gotta sleep but tomorrow i’m gonna properly plan out abilities and preferred stunts too#(very confusing that they use ‘abilities’ as the name for what every other game calls ‘attributes’)#(but i DO like that there are 8. communication and perception are nice additions for a game that uses stats outside of combat)#(and god imagine how many focuses there’s be for cunning if they didn’t separate communication)#personal#da#darpg#i was doing like. 4d chess trying to plan out alim’s talents (some lore; spirit: creation; armor; spell expertise)#but then for hawke i was just like yeah give him max carousing and entropy and unarmed style. simple#(not actually. it was very hard rejecting other things. but i’m fine with what i’ve given him)
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I forget Ray is really into nutrition in a jock body builder way until you get to the section in your physiology class about how energy is consumed, burned, and stored and remember you've heard most of this through him
He's the guy who would time his pre-work out snacks and then insist on eating right after to increase glucose levels to increase muscle synthesis and on and on and on and on.
We know this because he was co-host for a couple months of COVID and he was the one that got us back on being fitness buffs after an era of being a survivalist couch potato.
And before anyone says this, yes it was also the time period where our relationship with food was the closest to a strange eating disorder. Just because it's men thinking about mUScLe and not being ""thin"" doesn't make it any less disordered. Serious body builder culture is unhealthy and dog shit, which is why we tend to favor XIV's jockiness.
I'm just writing notes on this and finding the "files in our brain" about this that he has and I'm just... excuse me sir, we are nerds in this house sir, why are you doing this in the most toxic masculine way.
-Lucille
#alter: lucille#alter: ray#seriously#eating disorder tw#ed tw#that being said#i do really respect how well researched he was in it.#we actually never physically got anywhere close to properly restricted diets since he carefully kept an eye on things#but he was playing this game of having to be perfectly in a perfect intake-outtake balance#and specifically keeping track of protein intake#and it was so excessive#I'm not sure if he would be so bad if he was co-host again#because during that time we were REALLY out of shape and also pre-transition#and so he took a lot of his extreme gender dysphoria out on excess fat and lacking muscle#and used that so hard to cope#which it did help him a lot but#you know#also it is really funny talking on this blog about ray#because him and I are like the background side characters cameo-ing
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
oooo girl i am STEAMING. never in my life have i wanted to send anon hate but TODAY. TODAY I DO!!
#i won’t. but they restricted replies on their most egregious post#so i can’t call them a waste of stem cells properly.#how do i block everyone who follows a blog in one fell swoop.#bc i recognize some of these urls in their notes and i do not want these mfs following me
0 notes
Text
.
#tag talk#was talking with my brother about being plural and like. I'm kinda the tough rough protector cliche one#and I was talking about wanting my other half to be happy and he hit me with something I'm still mulling over.#he was like “you talk a lot about wanting her to be happy. does she want you to be happy?”#and like. chat words cannot describe how much that threw me. it's my job to take the blows. to front when we're in danger and in pain.#I don't think she gives a shit whether I'm happy. she hasn't learned to care about me as a separate person.#I care about her because that's my job. I'm the fucking trauma alter or whatever. but she doesn't care back.#and we really need to have this talk once she's back. she's asleep right now cause we've been having real bad migraine and I've been dealing#but once things aren't so bad we need to have a fucking talk#I'm not happy being restricted to a relationship I'm not interested in. I don't want to date our partner and that's whatever#but I can't even go out and get fucked properly because even though *I'm* not in a relationship my second half is.#like. goofy ah situation where two people live in a single body so one of them is celibate in order to keep the other one monogamous#like. how the fuck do I do this? if he calls me babe or baby or my love one more time I'm gonna kill us both I hate it.#she likes words of endearment like that and I would rather die. she likes kissing him but I don't like kissing anyone in general#and this whole time I've been expected to just go along with everything because she just bulldozes me out of the way.#I tried to break up with him and she took over the next day and got us right back together again with apologies and letters#because she's genuinely emotionally happy with him and I'm happy for her because I do care.#but I'm not happy with the situation and I don't think she actually cares that I'm not happy. she's caught up in her own shit#and I'll admit I do like him. the partner. we communicate really well and we kinda click yaknow?#and I really do want to keep him as a friend long term#but I can't fucking do this I'm not monogamous I just wanna go get fucked good and rough and he's insufficient for that#one of these years I want to go to Folsom Street Fair. I've read a ton about it and it looks so fun.#I just wanna be sexually liberated and unfortunately I'm stuck in this body with a hopeless romantic#anyway. we've got a lot to sort out here.#I just. she does care but she gets so caught up in her own shit that she forgets to consider other people.#and weirdly enough I count as other people even though we're kinda(?) the same person#pretty similar music tastes. relatively similar fashion styles. same body and same childhood goes far in making you similar people#and yeah. I'm aware she's the more developed one. I don't get nearly as much screen time as she does. but I'm making up for lost time#idk. if I'm stuck here I may as well make the most of it.#also wanna know something funny? I think I'm the one who's tried to kill us every time. no way she ever had the guts to do it.
0 notes
Text
bringing your work home with you | S.R.
spencer shares details of a case with you - with a hands-on learning approach
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: smut (18+ mdni) content warnings: case information from 10x17 "breath play", erotic asphyxiation, choking, fingering, praise kink, aftercare, explicit consent, softdom!spencer, sub!reader, dacryphilia (ish), established relationship dl;dr. word count: 1.74k a/n: im no longer afraid of being perceived on the internet (lie) and will begin writing whatever i want (truth). including this.
“How was work?” You asked hesitantly, looking across the couch to where Spencer was sitting. He was lost in thought, although, you supposed if you had just returned from Wisconsin, you’d feel relatively similar.
Spencer hummed absentmindedly in response while flipping through the pages of the file he brought home with him. “The UnSub certainly had a unique signature,” he answered, dragging his thumb across his lower lip in thought.
You tilted your head to the side in curiosity, “Oh, yeah?” It wasn’t often that Spencer shared details of cases with you, usually because the information he’d be divulging was privileged, but you shuffled over a cushion in hopes that he’d share with you. “What was it?”
He reached over and ruffled your hair affectionately, “He had a particular affinity for erotic asphyxiation. Each of his victims had read this book, Bare Reflections, and that’s how he found them – through sexual fantasies.”
Furrowing your brows, you rested your face in your hand, “So like… sex choking?”
“Yes, love. Like sex choking,” Spencer said, not without humor, before getting up and going to the kitchen, asking you if you needed anything as he did.
When he returned, sitting down on the couch and flipping the file back open, you leaned to the side and said, “I never got the whole choking thing. Not being able to breathe never seemed very sexy to me.”
At that, Spencer closed the file he was scribbling in and set it on the coffee table, “It’s not meant to fully restrict your breathing. At least, not if you’re doing it properly.”
“And you know how to do it properly?” You challenged, raising a single brow at your boyfriend.
He laughed breathily at your test, “I know human anatomy well enough to know not to press on your trachea.”
You fail to hide the way your eyes widen when he speaks to you, his use of the words ‘your trachea’ implying that he is now thinking about choking you. “Cool,” you responded, your brain spinning as you began to think about Spencer’s hand on your throat.
“Come here,” Spencer spoke up, already grabbing your waist and sliding you across the worn leather of the couch. He carefully guided your body over his own until you’re straddling him – one knee on either side of his hips. “You’re a kinesthetic learner, you’ll do better with a hands-on approach.”
Letting a shuddered breath loose, you met Spencer’s eyes, “Hi,” you whispered, keeping your voice low as if you were sharing a secret in a crowded room. Without waiting for him to move, you ducked your head and pressed your lips to his. Quickly, Spencer’s lips coaxed yours open, allowing for his tongue to slip into your mouth.
Spencer’s arms wrapped tightly around you, pressing your chest to his so that you could feel the buttons of his work shirt through the thin cotton of your t-shirt. You were severely underdressed compared to him, lounging in just a t-shirt and underwear while he was wearing his work attire – it just added to the power dynamic you were navigating.
Gently, Spencer tugged at your lower lip, taking the flesh between his teeth before pulling away from the kiss. “Do you trust me?” He asked, loosening his hold on you, and instead running his hands down your arms in a soothing manner.
Straightening up, you nodded, “Yes,” you responded, reaching a hand up and grabbing a fistful of his shirt.
Lifting his dominant hand to your neck, your breathing faltered as he put his hand at the front of your neck, the thumb on one side and the remainder of his fingers on the opposite. “Is this alright?” He murmured, using his free hand to trace small circles on your inner thigh, leaving you wishing you could press your legs together in a desperate attempt for friction.
“Yes,” you repeated yourself, taking the inside of your cheek between your molars and sighing when he moved his hand from your leg.
Nodding assuredly, Spencer brushed your hair from your face, his dominant hand never straying from its newfound home on your throat. “Good, I’m going to keep asking because we’ve never talked about this before,” he informed you. “I won’t fully restrict your airway. If you need me to stop at any point, just tap my arm three times.”
His words led you to relax. The two of you left almost everything on the table, and you were usually good about discussing things ahead of time. You were sure he’d start doing things he knows you like in order to put you at ease. “Thank you,” you whispered, studying his golden irises.
“Such good manners for me, angel,” he praised you, noting the way your back straightens up when he does so. “When I squeeze the sides of your throat like this,” he said, keeping his voice gentle as his hand tightened around your neck, ��I’m stopping some of the air from getting to your brain, which makes you feel lightheaded, and when I let go,” he released his firm hold, “You feel a release of dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins that make your head spin.”
As Spencer guided you through the process, you felt yourself getting needier. Humming lowly as you came down from the high, you noticed Spencer’s hand back between your thighs – you couldn’t tell when he had moved his hand, you were too preoccupied.
You held your breath as his hand slipped into your panties, “Hey,” he chided, snapping you out of your anticipation. “Don’t hold your breath,” he says sternly, “I won’t touch you if you hold your breath.”
Pointedly taking a deep breath, it took all of your focus to maintain your breathing as he gently slid a finger between your folds, the wet noise only muffled by the fabric of your underwear. Tentatively, Spencer slipped his finger inside you, swirling it around your inner walls before pulling it out and pushing it back in, squeezing the sides of your throat as he started fingering you at a steady pace.
“Do you feel that?” He asked, continuing the pace he had set, keeping his voice low as he spoke to you. “How when I squeeze your throat your cunt tightens around my finger?”
Reaching a hand up, you gripped his forearm and placed your other hand on his shoulder, trying to steady yourself and desperately needing something to do with your hands. You let out a soft moan as he easily added another finger to his ministrations, your volume growing louder as he released your throat. Your skin flushed as you bit your bottom lip and looked up to the ceiling.
Quickly squeezing your neck, Spencer brought your attention back down to him, “Keep your eyes on me, love.”
You nodded almost imperceptibly in response, blinking rapidly, but leaving your head where Spencer held it – gently forcing you to maintain eye contact with him as he started curling his fingers inside of you, pushing his fingertips against your inner walls. “Spence,” you whispered, letting out a low whine as you feel your orgasm beginning to build in your lower belly.
“Did you wanna cum? Make a mess all over my hand?” Spencer asked tantalizingly, resuming pressure on your throat before you even had a chance to respond to him. He was enjoying this just as much as you were.
As you maintained eye contact with Spencer, he began to press the heel of his palm against your clit, the pressure only adding to your lightheadedness. With his hand on your neck, your moans come out garbled, forcing their way through your body. “Fuck,” the word came out as a hiss as tears gathered in your lower lash line. Between the pressure on your clit and throat and the continuing ministrations of his digits, your orgasm built up quickly.
In-kind with the pressure on your throat, you squeezed firmly at Spencer’s forearm, and he watched carefully to make sure that you weren’t trying to tap on his arm.
Your tears flooded over the edge, slowly streaming down your cheeks. You blinked to clear your eyes, but you didn’t let your eye contact with Spencer waver.
A small whimper escaped your throat, and Spencer hummed, “There you go, angel.” He said, nodding as his fingers continued working you to your peak, “I know,” he cajoled when you whined again. “I know. Let it go for me,” he murmured, watching as your body shuddered.
Once your orgasm hits its zenith, Spencer released his hold on your neck, moving his hand to your shoulder to keep you upright while your pussy spasmed around his still-thrusting fingers. Endorphins flooded your mind, prolonging your orgasm for god knows how long until he finally withdrew his fingers from your underwear.
While you remembered how to breathe, Spencer moved his hand from your shoulder to your back, gently pressing on your spine and letting your body fall forward. “I knew you’d like that,” he whispered mischievously, and if you had the energy, you would have rolled your eyes. “How are you feeling?”
Groaning, you buried your face in the crook of Spencer’s neck, “Jell-O,” you responded simply.
Your eyes were barely open as Spencer reached over for a tissue box, wiping your slick off of his hand before slipping his hand beneath the waistband of your panties. You whined and tried to push his hand away, “I know, baby. I just want to wipe you up a bit.” He told you before gathering your wetness on the tissue, wrapping it up and placing it on the end table.
“Toss it,” you mumbled sleepily, ignorant of the fact that you’re still in his lap.
Wrapping an arm around you tightly, Spencer pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of your head, “When you feel like moving, I’ll clean up.” He reached over for a glass of water from the end table, grabbing it from its coaster and trying to hand it to you, “Come on, you need water.”
Sighing, you forced your eyes open, “’m tired,” you told him, reaching a shaky hand up for the glass.
Spencer kept a hand on the glass as you drank from it, setting it back down when you were done and smiling softly at your sleepy nature. “Rehydrating is a nonnegotiable,” he whispered gently, but you were already asleep - or close enough to it that you didn’t respond.
#criminal minds#spencer reid#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#criminal minds smut#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfiction#dr spencer reid#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds oneshot#written by margot#mdni#margot after hours#softdom!spencer
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
Let's talk mobility aids!
Canes
Canes are for when you need to take a little bit of weight off of one side of your body, need a little help with balance, or need a little extra stability when you walk. It's an easy mobility aid to find and get, and it's pretty easy to figure out how to use. Have the cane sized so the handle sits at wrist level, then hold it on the opposite side to the one that hurts. Match your cane strikes to the steps on the hurt side. It will hurt your arm, elbow, and shoulder sometimes, but having a properly sized cane will help.
Rollators
Rollators are kind of the "next step up" in support. They come with more restrictions, you get limited to ramps and stuff, but they're also the least restrictive wheeled mobility aid because they're light and easy to pick up and toss around. They also have a seat a lot of times and a basket so you don't need to carry stuff. They're for when you need a place to rest, something to lean on when you walk, better balance assistance than a cane, and less weight bearing than a cane. I also found that it helped me with fatigue quite a bit. There's two main kinds, euro style like the first, and regular like the second. There are other fancier ones but I'm covering the basics here.
Rollators are my favorite mobility aid and I've used everything from canes to a fancy high grade power chair. They're just the perfect balance of help and freedom. They provide so much support for how far they go.
Crutches
Arm crutches are pretty neat! They're a lot more ergonomic than a cane. In fact, some people use a single arm crutch as a cane. They distribute the weight a little better, so it's not all on your wrists, and they support you better than a rollator can. The major cons I found are that they take two hands to use so you can't carry much and I had a really hard time trying to learn to walk with them. A lot of people who use forearm crutches have other mobility aids and use the forearm crutches when they want to or need to walk.
Manual Wheelchairs
These are for when walking becomes more difficult than pushing a wheelchair. There's no weight being put on your legs and feet and depending on your needs, you can get really specific with your adaptations if you have a custom wheelchair verses a standard wheelchair. My first custom chair looked like a monster truck because i took in the woods and gravel, my second custom chair after I got sicker has a head rest, a backrest that holds me up, and a little electric box that I can attach that helps me push. The difference between getting a standard and custom wheelchair is dependent on how much money the user has, what kind of needs they have, and what kind of medical access they have. (One is not more "real" than the other.) I highly recommend getting a cushion for under your butt if you have a standard chair without a cushion, I used a standard full time for 6 months and a cushion made a huge difference.
Mobility scooters
Mobility scooters are for people who can't walk long distances, but can still walk with the help of a cane or unassisted. If you can walk around your house, but not really much else, a mobility scooter might be the aid for you! There's a lot of different styles and battery life lengths and handling abilities so try a few different scooters out if you can.
Powerchairs
Powerchairs come in a couple different types or "groups" depending on your needs. Group 1 is the kind of chair you're probably most familiar with. It's basically for someone who needs a powerchair to get around their house, the doctors, office, and grocery store. You can't do any custom seat cushions or anything, but it's for people who don't need it. Think of like... someone who can walk pretty okay still, it just hurts to walk or they're off balance or a little weak feeling. A lot of times more elderly people will use these, if you're more active look into group 2
Group two chairs are little more durable, a little more stable, sometimes you can switch the captains seats out for custom seating... They're what a full time powerchair user would use if they don't need specialty functions like tilt or recline. They also often have 6 wheels rather than 4 like the group 1 chairs have.
Group 3 powerchairs are reserved for specific diagnoses like muscular dystrophy, ALS, and other severe neurological and neuromuscular illnesses. These are also called "rehab" chairs because they're for making sure severely disabled people have quality of life. The tilt function is for pressure relief, though you can also get things like elevation so you can raise and lower your chair, and some of them can recline flat. There are other avenues of moving grade 3 power chairs beyond the joystick as well in case someone can't use their hands or doesn't have them. (Head controls, torso controls, and straw controls called sip and puff are alternatives.) They can go on a little worse terrain than group 1 and two chairs and go a little farther, but if they get stuck they weigh 350 lbs and it's awful.
There's a few other types of mobility aid that I don't know enough about, like ankle foot orthotics and gait trainers, but these are the basic "mobility aid" most people will come across.
If you use another type of mobility aid and want to educate people, add it on!!
7K notes
·
View notes
Note
I absolutely love your time stamp works, could I request one?
11:11 pm with remus lupin... a soft cozy night slowly turns passionate as they cuddle in bed together?
-🪻
11.11 PM | REMUS LUPIN
"dove-" remus murmurs in between kisses. "taking my breath away-"
he's the sweetest thing with pink lips and half closed eyes. he looks like he's drunk on love, can't even keep his hands to himself. the blanket slips from your shoulder, leaves you bare in your tank top.
"it's so hot in here, do you think i should take this off?" you ask him with slightly curled lips. remus can feel his stomach tighten.
"you know you're a little minx, don't you?" he kitten licks the skin under your ear. "do you need help with it?"
"i can do it myself." you say, moving your hands quickly to free yourself from the fabric.
remus has long fingers, he knows how to use them when he wants to drive you crazy. he'd usually be more insistent, but it feels like the mood in the air is different tonight. he's tired and you're no better, you'd be fast asleep in bed if you couldn't feel the desire pooling between your legs.
"kiss me." you whisper, his lips are soft like silk.
remus moves his wrist to rub your hipbone fondly. he kisses you the way you want, you close your eyes and let yourself be mindless as you lean to him. your brain already feels like a mush, it's all remus now, and his scent. his kisses and lingering touches. you sigh in contentment.
his hands are on your skin, they feel like they belong there. you place yourself on remus's thigh, squeeze your legs and press yourself subtly on him. "remus-"
"come here." he pulls you to his lap properly. "using my thigh is not gonna help you, sweetheart, i can take care of you better."
"it's too much." you whine softly when a wave of pleasure hits you. "i feel like it'll be over so soon."
"it won't." remus assures you. his voice is promising, possibly the hottest tone of him that you've ever heard. "i'll help you take your time."
it all feels like softened liquid, seconds stretch, remus plays with you. he's undeniably hard under you, his fingers rubbing your swollen nub with determined fingers. you tilt your head back. his lips suck tiny circles on your chest.
you pull his sweatpants to reach him. he obeys, free of every restriction. he looks beautiful, so pretty like this for you. you touch him, your breath catches on your throat.
"i don't want this to end." you whisper, leaning close to his face. he rubs his hand all over your back, makes you shiver. "do you want to stay in me for a bit?"
he smiles. he looks at you like you're the most precious being, something to be admired. lifting his hips suddenly, he pulls you down. you clench, it's a good fit. remus hugs you to his chest.
"i can stay in you forever, i guess." he jokes, kissing the soft flesh of your neck.
"oh my god, remus." you roll your eyes back, half in pleasure and half in disbelief.
"you don't even know how safe you make me feel." he confesses silently. "fuck- baby, you need to-"
"i know." you sound sorry for clenching involuntarily around him. "i just can't stay still when you're saying things like that."
remus fixes your hair to give you a kiss on the side of your head. it's nice to stay like this. a deeper connection forms between you, you think.
"i'm gonna keep my thoughts to myself then." he says. "until i fuck you properly at least. i can't have you finishing me so quick just because you get turned on by my words."
"so rude." you say, loving how good he is at teasing. just your type of man. "i'm gonna fall asleep and you'll never get what you want."
"i already got what i want, silly girl." he presses you to his chest. "this is perfect."
#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin x you#remus x reader#remus x fem!reader#remus x you#remus lupin fic#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin fanfiction#the marauders#remus lupin smut#the marauders imagine#the marauders fic#the marauders fanfic#marauders era#marauders fic#marauders fanfic#marauders imagine#marauders
601 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wanda has been your best friend for almost ten years now, meaning you could trust her to chat about anything, without restricting yourself by prudeness or filters. But that trust went too far one day.
Word count: 1,119
Warnings: 18+ content, guided masturbation through phone call, kind of innocent and inexperienced reader.
A/N: I promise I'm NOT procrastinating this story, you'll have it sooner than you think, but, well, college... 💔
It was a big step, considering that you failed to enjoy every time you explored yourself with your fingers alone. As much as you tried to play music, lie down, and imagine exciting scenes, you ended up frustrated because it wasn't enough. So you opted to buy a little help. Maybe this way you would be able to explore your tastes and to please yourself properly.
Your best friend, Wanda, had recommended an online site. It had all kinds of artefacts, many of which you didn't know existed, or considered too potent a level for a newbie like you. So you went with the safest option; a simple ten centimeter vibrator, with three levels of intensity.
And nothing...
You felt the tingle of the vibration inside you, but nothing built up. It was just a pleasurable sensation that led to nothing.
You had sent a message to Wanda, telling her that you had already received it, and just when you turned off the toy and put it aside, your phone notified a message from the redhead, where she asked you to tell her about your experience.
"It's useless, Wanda!" You answered, such a simple message but all your frustration could be transmitted in this one.
"What do you mean it's useless?" She replied.
"Maybe I'm anorgasmic or something, because I can't finish. I didn't feel it helped me."
You were perplexed when your phone screen displayed her name, indicating that you were receiving a call. This was unusual of her, but you didn't hesitate to answer.
"Honey," she let out a giggle, as soon as you picked up. "What exactly are you doing?"
"Well, when I feel needy, no matter how much I stimulate myself, I don't orgasm. Not even with the toy. It's horrible," you answered honestly.
These kind of talks were frequent between you, and that was something you loved about your friendship. No judgments, no prejudice, much less in the face of topics that, at the end of the day, were completely normal.
"Yeah, but what did you do with the vibrator?" She inquired.
"Well, I put it inside, the usual," you replied matter-of-factly. You didn't understand why other girls did get to feel something when they had something in there, and you didn't. Why you were more complex about everything?
"Just like that?" She exclaimed, and at your confirmation, she let out another laugh. "No, darling, you have to tease yourself, make yourself desperate for your own touch."
"And how do I even do that?" you asked curiously, but also with a hint of relief. She seemed to have the solution to your problem.
"It's complicated, do you want to try it now? I'll guide you through every step," she proposed.
The thought of hearing her voice guiding you, that she would be listening to you as you pleasured yourself, made the anticipation take over, again initiating that feeling that was begging to be satisfied.
When you thought of Wanda, or when you spent many hours together with her, that feeling came no matter how hard you tried to ignore it. It was no surprise when you realized that this was not something usual and that you definitely felt attraction towards her.
But you didn't want to ruin the friendship you treasured so much.
"No, that would be weird," you replied, feigning aversion to such a thing, when really, that was all you needed.
"Oh, come on!" Wanda exclaimed. "It wouldn't. I'd be helping you get to know yourself, please yourself. I won't even see you."
You sighed softly in resignation. She was right, maybe a lot of friends have given each other advice like that.
"Okay, fine," you agreed. "What do I do?"
Wanda was glad you couldn't see her smile of victory when you agreed, or else, she would've also given herself away.
"First, spread your legs, and place the tip of the vibrator on your clit," she instructed you.
You did as she asked, and no sooner had you pressed, when you felt an electric current run through your body in a matter of a fraction of a second.
"Oh, shit!" You exclaimed, withdrawing it as if by reflex.
"What do you feel?" She inquired curiously. She was aware such a cute little thing like you wouldn't be able to take it first time. But that was what she was there for.
"Weird, like a swift current!"
"Exactly! Please try to place it again, and little by little, apply pressure," she replied. "At your pace, there is no rush, darling," she purred, making your core throb in desperation at her raspy voice calling you that pet name.
Again, you did as she asked.
The intense vibration made all the nerve endings in that area react deliciously to the stimulus, and again, it sent that current through your body.
You let out a little murmur of pleasure, feeling yourself lose control over your body. Your back arched, your eyes closed, and your free hand fisted your sheets in an attempt to keep you grounded and resistant.
"Good girl, apply more pressure for me," Wanda added, noting from your murmurs that you were becoming familiar with the sensation.
Applying a little more pressure caused you to emanate your first moan since forever. That snapped you out of your trance briefly, and you realized you moaned with your friend on the other end of the phone.
"I'm sorry," you apologized, beginning to feel your cheeks heat up.
"None of that," she countered. "Don't hold back, let me hear you."
In a matter of minutes, you alone learned to listen to your body. You explored different areas and found your most sensitive spots. You were so focused on not leaving a single inch untouched, that you even forgot that Wanda was listening to the mess of moans, whimpers, and murmurs of her name that you were letting out.
"Mmm, Wanda!" They became more audible tones, signaling that you were close. There was too much to process, but Wanda decided to quiet her thoughts and allow herself to be delighted by the wonderful sounds you were making.
Hearing you cum for the first time was the most beautiful of all, by far.
A scream of pleasure too desperate, even animalistic, for your own good. Your so innocent set could not withstand that longing finally reaching its highest exponent, after so much stagnation. She was even surprised your little lungs allowed you to scream like that.
Wanda provoked all that in you, without having touched you... yet. But she made up her mind that it would change.
"Start over, but don't you dare cum," she commanded you. "I'm coming over in ten," she established, before hanging out.
754 notes
·
View notes
Text
This is my RACK focused judgment free primer for heavy impact play. It covers every part of the body from head to toe and at no point does it say you can’t do something just the risks of doing so. I don't normally put warnings on my posts but most of my writing is fantasy, this isn't. I'm going to talk about any number of painful deaths and heaps more ways of becoming disabled.
In this primer "you" means the one doing the hitting, "victim" is the one being hit, and "tool" is the thing you're hitting with which could be a fist, foot, hammer, bat, anything. I'm writing it this way because its fun for me.
This primer also assumes you know the different types of impacts and how they affect the body, if you don't go look at my other writings.
Finally i take no responsibility for anything you do. All this information is what i could put together from medical journals and car crash reports if I've got anything wrong (and you can prove it) please let me know.
Enjoy
Head. With hits to the head, the two major concerns are concussions and neck injuries. A concussion occurs when a person’s brain impacts with the inside of their skull, this happens because the brain is suspended in fluid so if the skull stops or starts moving suddenly the brain will move out of sync with the skull. Symptoms of concussions can include headaches, confusion, lack of coordination, memory loss, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, ringing in the ears, sleepiness, and excessive fatigue. If your victim lost consciousness for any length of time and is having trouble speaking or understanding your words, you need to get them to the ER. There is no cure for a concussion but the best treatment is pain medication and activities that won’t tax the brain to give it time to recover. There are any number of ways to damage a neck, but generally it happens when a person’s neck is moved suddenly and violently or pushed past its limit. Minor injuries should heal by themselves within a few weeks but if unlucky pain and stiffness can last months or even years. For more major injuries, physical therapy or a neck brace might be necessary but only if the pain lasts longer than a few weeks. It’s also possible to hit someone hard enough to break their neck or fracture their skull but that takes a lot of force. All of these injuries can be avoided by supporting your victim’s head and neck by bracing their head against a surface or holding their head with your hand.
Jaw. It takes surprisingly little force to dislocate a jaw, you can do so with a good slap Dislocations are talked about in Note 3 at the bottom of this primer. Heavy bleeding from gums or a tooth that feels loose could indicate a fractured root. This is a fairly minor issue and if you see a dentist quickly they should be able to fix it back in place with no lasting damage. A tooth that has been knocked out completely should survive; get your victim to rinse their mouth out and rinse the tooth off and shove it back into the gap, and then have them see a dentist to make sure it’s properly seated and avoid chewing with it for a while.
Eyes. A fun combination of fragile and complicated. There's no first aid tips I can give you and it'll be real obvious if something is wrong. I will say you don't have to hit someones eye to give them a black eye, it’s bruising around the eye socket that matters. Also check Note 1 about the use of ice when treating injuries.
Nose. It’s more difficult than you think to break a nose. You definitely can with a good punch but you'll have to really commit. A broken nose isn't that serious (I've broken mine twice now) and isn't even ER worthy. If your victim is leaning backwards after breaking their nose the blood will run down the back of their throat potentially making them vomit or very sick. There is a chance a broken nose will heal in a way that restricts breathing in which case your victim may need surgery.
Cheek bone. Below the temple but above the gum line, running from just bellow their ear to their nose. Special mention to this spot because it’s the best place to hit your victim in the head (in my opinion). This piece of bone is very sturdy and not that risky to fracture. Plus, when you hit them here they have to watch it coming.
Neck. The windpipe, jugular, cranial nerves, vagus nerve, carotid arteries, and spine all live here and damage to any of these can cause permanent disability or death. Seek medical attention if your victim has trouble breathing or swallowing, or a lot of pain or swelling. Stingy tools are far less risky here than thuddy tools.
Shoulders. Note 2 on joints. The shoulder blades can either be an ideal impact location or one of the most risky depending on how it’s sitting. If the shoulder blade is jutting out away from the rest of the back, it’s very easy to damage If it’s laying flat against the back, it’s protected by a thick layer of fat and muscle.
Biceps. Top 4 impact location. The main concern is damaging the elbow and shoulder joints, if hitting in a way that will pull on those joints. Much like with the head, bracing the impact area against a surface will minimize the risk. Repeated hits to this area can temporarily disable the arm, which is fun.
Forearm. As above, the main risk is damaging the adjoining joints. There are also several important blood vessels and nerves running through this area and not a lot of fat an muscle to protect them.
Hands. Very little fat or muscle, mostly tendons, nerves, and cartilage. See Note 2 on joints. Special note to the palm, which hurts like hell but is relatively safe because of the extra muscle and fat in that area, great for punishment. Once again, stingy tools are much less risky than thuddy tools.
Breasts/ biceps. Top 4 impact locations. Thick layers of fat, muscle, and bone protect anything vital.
Sternum. That is the bone running down the center of a person’s chest that connects to their ribs. Not in itself very fragile but the cartilage that connects it to the ribs is easily damaged and will take a long time to heal. A fractured sternum will likely cause shortness of breath and pain when taking deep breaths. There's not much to be done about these injuries just rest and avoiding strenuous activity.
Spine. The single most risky impact location. Any damage to the spine risks permanent paralysis of everything below that point. As ever, stingy tools present less risk than thuddy tools.
Rib cage. Designed to protect a person’s most vital organs, the rib cage is very strong. Fractured ribs will cause pain breathing but aren't particularly serious. Snapped ribs can pierce organs If this happens, it'll be immediately obvious and medical intervention is required to prevent painful death. Special note to the 'floating' ribs at the bottom of a persons rib cage which don't connect to the sternum and are therefore much less resilient. Second special note to the spot right above a persons heart. A significantly hard impact at exactly the wrong moment in their cardiac cycle can stop their heart. They will loose consciousness and you will need to give them CPR until they can be defibrillated. This is ridiculously unlikely but better to mention just in case.
Abdomen. If you feel around your victim’s belly, you can figure out the line where their abdominal muscles sit. If you have them tense these muscles, you can hit them fairly hard with relatively little risk because the muscles plus the fat in that area create a thick layer of protection. (Pro tip: "Stay tense or this will might kill you" is not only true but hot and terrifying). Outside of that area or if they don't tense, there's real risk of bruising or even rupturing their intestines, which carries a 50-70% survival rate depending on how quickly you can get them to the ER. Symptoms to look out for are bloating, diarrhea, loss of appetite, and fatigue. Special note to the kidneys, which sit next to the backbone just below the rib cage and are very easily bruised. The primary symptom to look for is blood when peeing. As always, stingy tools carry less risk than thuddy tools.
Gluteus maximus. That's their butt. Hit it as hard as your victim will let you. Enough has been said about this region; I don't feel the need to recover that ground. Note 4 on bruises.
Genitals. I'm not going to get into CBT, that's a separate kink. But the vagina is very durable as it’s pretty much just flesh and fat on the outside Minimal risk, go to town.
Thigh. Top 4 impact location. Outer thigh will hurt more and bruise more. As with the head and arms, the primary risk is damaging the adjoining joints. Note 4 on bruises because this is the primary place for DVT.
Calf. As above. Shins are also a great location for punishment because they hurt like hell.
Feet. Very similar to hands. The soles of a person’s foot are intended to impact with the ground frequently and with some force, so they can take a fair bit of punishment.
Note 1. Ice. It is no longer suggested injury procedure to use ice to reduce swelling. Yes, it is effective at reducing swelling but we now understand swelling is an important part of the healing process and although ice might make it feel and look better in the short term, it actually increases the amount of time the injury will take to heal. You want the blood to be able to flow to the injury to take away dead cells and bring nutrients and energy.
Note 2. Joints. Neck, spine, shoulders, elbows, wrists, fingers, hips, knees, ankles, and toes. The reason these are almost always labeled "red" or "no go" on impact play body maps is because these are choke points for blood vessels and nerves; they are made of fragile tendons and cartilage, and they have very little padding for protection. They're also important for movement day to day and very difficult to heal properly. If a joint is damaged, you can buy braces for every joint from most pharmacies.
Note 3. Dislocations. If you're lucky, a partial dislocation will relocate by itself if you move the joint around as you normally would, not forcing it or trying to manipulate it with your hand, just moving it with its own muscles. If it does naturally relocate but you still have pain a few weeks later seek a medical professional. If you're unlucky or if it’s a total dislocation, you will have to see a medical professional. DO NOT TRY TO FORCE IT BACK INTO PLACE!
Note 4. Bruises. Normally, bruises are nothing to worry about but there are situations where a deep bruise can be a health concern. If the bruise continues to get worse after a week, there could be a hematoma under the skin, which is like a blood clot, and might need to be removed. The other possible complication is Deep Vein Thrombosis, which is a blood clot and can be lethal, if not treated quickly. With DVT, the symptoms are tenderness, warmth, and a "pulling sensation" which are pretty normal impact play symptoms. But if you're doing impact play at the level that could cause DVT, then you and your victim should know their healing process intimately, so if something feels off or isn't healing right, get them to a medical professional; better safe than dead.
469 notes
·
View notes
Text
More Good Omens nonsense ahead!
So, I've read a lot of theories that Crowley must have been some chief bigwig as an angel because he knew a (presumably) restricted heavenly password.
But consider who he is as a demon. He's not a duke or lord of hell, but he's got more sway than demons like Furfur (and not just because that's how he walks). He's acquired the maximum amount of freedom he can get with the minimum amount of responsibility.
I could see him being the same kind of angel, assuming he remained an angel for some time after the opening scene of Good Omens 2. Once the shine wore off and he realised he was powerless to change things, he could have just loitered within the perimeter of power without the inconvenience of being seen as powerful. I can see him as the angelic equivalent of somebody from the IT department who managed to procure a lot of very sensitive company secrets simply because nobody thought about him enough to restrict him properly. A little bit of 'Tell you what, give me the password and I can finish that for you. No, no, it's no bother at all. Off you trot!' here and there just to hoard for himself some semblance of power without having to do very much. Or maybe he just got a taste for manipulation early on and decided he liked it. Then if the rebel angels noticed his talents, the jig would have been up and he would have been steamrolled into siding with them even if he had no interest whatsoever in joining a war.
So, yeah, I'm not ready to presume he was a heavenly Higher Up. He could have just been a bit of a sneaky snake back then too.
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Eddie doing a deal with Steve at that picnic table after school. Eddie’s on his second senior year and pissed off about it. He’s trying to be cordial to Harrington, but he keeps remembering how the basketball team messes with his Hellfire kids.
So he up charges him, gets a little petty revenge; he’s sure Harrington can afford it anyway. The extra money can go toward Eddie’s T payments.
Something rustles in the woods and Harrington freezes, listening. Some kind of wet, furless animal jumps out of the trees in a blur.
Before Eddie can react, Harrington grabs his hand and pulls him up, heading to the closest sanctuary, the high school. Eddie’s freaking out. They run into the building, and Harrington pulls them into the janitors closet. He lunges to the back, reaching for a mop, but Eddie hears a wet skittering in the hallway and slams the door shut. Harrington whips around at the noise and the sudden darkness. Eddie holds his breath until the creature passes.
“What the fuck is out there?” He hisses at Harrington. The closet is cramped and the floor is littered with cleaning supplies. They're right up on top of one another in the small space. “This is crazy, this is so fucking crazy—”
“Calm down!” Harrington hisses back, closer than he expects, breath brushing against Eddie's cheek.
“Calm? Why are you calm, what's wrong with you?” Eddie's heart is pounding so hard he thinks it might burst out of his chest. He can't breathe. “We just almost got attacked by some fuckin' thing!” He flutters his hands to emphasize 'thing' though Steve probably can't see it in the dark. He smacks a shelf.
“I've seen something like it before, it's some kind of demogorgon.” Harrington says. Eddie splutters. The king of Hawkins High just made a DnD reference.
“How do you—that is not a demogorgon, Harrington! Demogorgons don't exist and even if they did, they don't look like that!”
“Hey, you asked and I answered. And my name is Steve.” He reaches around Eddie and tries the door handle. He's practically hugging him.
Steve swears and flicks on the light switch, illuminating the closet. “It's stuck.”
Eddie can see Steve's face properly now in all its glory. The overhead bulb gleams off Steve's stupidly long eyelashes. He almost wants to turn the light back off. His breathing is still restricted.
“Guess we're trapped in here until somebody comes by.” Steve says.
Eddie balks at the thought of being stuck with Steve in close quarters for so long. “No we're not, just gimme a second.”
Eddie shoves a hand up under his Dio shirt so he can pull his bindings a little away from his chest.
“What are you doing?” Steve sounds alarmed. His eyes are wide.
“Don't get excited,” Eddie winks because apparently he has a death wish, “just need to breathe. Get me a flathead screwdriver. The door opens inward.”
Steve snaps his fingers and points at him, “Right, the hinges!” He turns around to rustle through the shelves, which Eddie, uh, doesn’t mind. Goddamn.
He faces Eddie again with a flathead in his hands and a triumphant look. Eddie grabs it with a ‘thanks’ and goes to work prying pins out of the hinges. He can feel Steve watching him. Eddie gets the door loose and shoves it open, catching it so it doesn’t make noise.
Steve stalks past him wielding a mop like a weapon.
“Where are you going?” Eddie stage whispers.
Steve looks over his shoulder at Eddie, hair artfully falling out of place. “I’ve gotta find that thing, I’m not gonna let it roam the school.”
Eddie looks at Steve, looks back at the exit, looks down at the tile floor.
“Shit.”
He follows.
#trans eddie munson#eddie munson#steddie#steve harrington#ftm eddie munson#steve x eddie#monster hunter steve harrington#set vaguely after the stancy alleyway breakup#steddie ficlet#autistic eddie munson
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Unity
Fandom: Star Wars - The Acolyte
Pairing: Qimir x GN!Reader
Summary: You wake up on an unknown planet with a powerful Force wielder offering to help you hone in on your Force abilities.
Qimir Masterlist
You wake with a jolt, your eyes wide and filled with fear. You slowly sit up and take in your surroundings. You're in a cave but you're not sure where or why. You think back on what you remember last: Qimir showing up, him leading you to his ship, and then darkness.
"What the kriff, Qimir?" you mumble to yourself. You slide out of the makeshift bed and take a look around. Light shines through the crevices of the cave. There's another bed spread a short distance from yours as well as a pot with some sort of stew in it.
"You're awake," you hear a deep modulated voice and you turn. A man donning a black cloak and helmet stands in the entrance of the cave.
You gulp and ask, "Where's Qimir?"
"Off on a mission."
"And Mae?"
"Both of them are on a mission."
"...so we're alone," you state with a hint of fear.
The man cocks his head to the side, "I'm sure Qimir has told you I promised not to hurt you. I intend to keep my word."
He slowly stalks towards you. The hair on the back of your neck stands in alertness as he begins to circle around you. Your fists are clenched and you're trying to keep a level head.
"You're afraid," the masked stranger states.
"I was knocked out and taken to a mysterious planet and now have a powerful Force wielder circling me like an ice vulture. Anyone with a sensible brain would be afraid."
"You came willingly."
You can't help but scoff, "Qimir and Mae both stated that if I didn't go to you, you would come to me. I'd rather go to you than risk those around me of potential danger."
"Admirable, yet you're still afraid." With a flick of the stranger's wrist, a pot comes hurling your way, and you hold out your hand to cover your face. The impact doesn't come as the pot is suspended in the air.
You gasp, stepping back and dropping your hand, resulting in the pot to collapse to the ground with a clang. You immediately look back at the man who continues to stare at you. His helmet has no visor. You're not sure how he can see. It's crafted in a way that it creates some sort of devilish smile that leaves you unsettled.
"You possess a great ability. It's a shame you've gone this long unable to properly wield it."
"I'm not interested in being a Jedi-"
"Who said I was a Jedi?" you don't answer and he continues, "I can teach you the ways of the Force that aren't restrictive like the Jedi. I can help you reach your full potential. You have a gift, Y/N, you should learn how to use it. Let me help you," he holds out his hand and you look at it.
Your brows furrow and you suddenly look up, remembering that very same hand reached out to you, the very same hand that lead you up the ramp to the ship. That hand that gently cupped your face and made you fall into darkness.
Your breathing hitches and you slowly back away, "Qimir?"
The hand closes and slowly drops to the man's side, "I'm impressed." The man reaches up and lifts the helmet off him to reveal Qimir, "Not even my own apprentice has figured it out yet." He takes a step forward and you step back. He holds his hands up, "I told you, I won't hurt you."
"I'm so confused. Why-What do you want with me? Has this been a game to you or something?"
"I assure you, when I first walked into your shop, I was only there for the poison. However, there was something about you that kept me wanting to come back. To see you. I now know why. You have the Force. I can train you and-"
"You already have Mae-"
"You're different. Mae is my apprentice. You...You will be my equal. Together, we can make a difference," he slowly steps towards you and you remain unmoved. He takes your right hand and interlocks his fingers with yours. He repeats the same gesture with your left hand.
There's a faint buzzing sensation coarsing through you. You look at your intertwined hands and then at Qimir, who's smirking at you.
"See? How does it feel?"
"Strange...yet, comforting."
"Imagine how it'll feel when you become more familiar with the Force. How good it'll feel to be strong and powerful. Imagine it, Y/N," Qimir says with a whisper as he leans forward pressing his forehead against yours.
The air around you shifts and vibrates. It's a sensation you never felt before but you can already tell how addicting it is. It's as if you can see, hear, and feel everything around you and how much power they all contain.
"Stay with me," Qimir, "Be my equal."
You remain still as you gather your thoughts. You have never left Batuu until now. You always yearned for more than being just a shop owner. Despite being good at making concoctions and the occasional healing, you felt like you could be so much more than that.
You step back, peeling yourself from Qimir to look him in the eyes and say, "I want to be your equal."
He breaks into a wide grin, an eagerness in his eyes and a hint of something else you couldn't quite place.
470 notes
·
View notes