#(very confusing that they use ‘abilities’ as the name for what every other game calls ‘attributes’)

[danielnelsen]

having a LOT of fun recreating my warden and hawke using the ttrpg system

[turbulentscrawl]

very curious abt your oc 👀...

The time is now... To preface, I made this character back in December, before Faro Lady was even teased, and I'm not willing to change Evelye's name...but for the sake of sparing confusion, I'll call her Evie most of the time.

(I'm also going to start posting some of the blurbs I've written about Evie and Luchino later.)

Warnings for canon-typical violence, cannibalism, and one mention of sex.

Evelyne Bailey, The Butcher

Age: 29 Nationality: American Likes: cicadas, needlework Dislikes: winter, mystery meat, teeth Talents: cooking, cleaning, trapping wild game Favorite Dish: Fried Okra

Test Indicators:

Selective Food Intolerance

Delusional Paranoia

emotionally starved

She is from America in Appalachia, and her backstory is loosely inspired by the Beast in the Cave.

Evelyne was an only child and her folks ran a little ranch/butchery kitchen in a small mountain town. They were sweet, generous people… Then somewhere in her youth, they made "friends" with strangers who lived further into the mountain range, and in time began killing travelers who passed through town, even going so far as to butcher, and eat them. Evelyne was young enough to not fully grasp what they were doing, and by the time she did, she felt it was too late for her to stop going along with it. Her parents grew to be dark and twisted people, and she took up running the store front due to how horrifying they'd become in appearance and behavior. As she grew older, she helped lure male travelers home for this process.

External Traits

TIDY UP

The Butcher knows how to clean up a mess. The trail left by the Butcher disappears 1.5 seconds faster. After taking damage, she leaves no trail at all for 3 seconds.

BREAD CRUMBS?

The Butcher has a bag of Remains and can use them to mislead a hunter by creating a fake trail for them to follow. At the start of a match she has enough Remains to leave a trail up to 30 meters long. This trail can persist up to 30 seconds and only one trail can exist at a time. Additionally, a new trail will activate the Hunter's tinnitus for the first five seconds after being placed. This ability can be recharged by healing teammates. Each time The Butcher heals one instance of damage, she recovers enough Remains for 10 meters of trail.

STERILIZED

Survivors healed by the Butcher have been thoroughly cleaned and leave no trail for 10 seconds.

HEMOPHOBIA

The sight of a bleeding human makes the Butcher uneasy. She heals allies 10% slower.

PERSONALITY/GENERAL HCS

Evie’s experience running a store front has made her a decent actress. She has above-average persuasion skills and can maintain a friendly facade during small talk. She flounders with deeper conversation, however, and has a tendency to shut down when asked about her pre-Europe past.

Evie’s living situation for the last few years back in Appalachia has made her paranoid of people. She believes that, since her own parents turned on her, everyone else is capable of it as well. Additionally, she’s afraid that people will try to slip her human meat for consumption without her knowledge. Evie is functionally a pescatarian; she will not eat non-fish meat that she did not hunt, butcher, and prepare herself from start to finish. (Beyond this, however, she is not a picky eater.)

Evie refuses to talk about her years in Appalachia. She’s convinced that if people knew what she did, everyone would turn on her and the manor would become her eternal hell. On some level, she thinks she’s a monster deserving of that fate. But her fear is too strong for her to test the waters.

Her paranoia has also made her very aware of physical body language. She’s only average at analyzing people’s words, but she was so used to watching her parents for signs they may attack her again, that she’s excellent at spotting tension, fear, and anger in others. She has also memorized the sounds of every hunter’s and survivor’s footsteps to identify them at a distance. Anyone familiar with paranoid behaviour will notice that she has a tendency to periodically slow down or pause completely during any noise-making activity and listen. When footsteps can be heard, she stops to identify who it is, and only resumes working when she’s determined it’s someone she trusts, or when they’ve passed.

Evie also suffers from nightmares and sudden bouts of extreme nausea.

While friendly at face-value, Evie is paranoid and distrusting of people. At the end of the day, she puts her own security and safety above anyone else's. She avoids standing within arms reach of people, and jerks away if someone leans close, as a reflex to avoid being bitten.

Her pain tolerance is a bit higher than average. Which is fortunate, because she's slightly resistance to pain-relieving medications. She's also somewhat resistant to anesthetics.

She's most comfortable with the Arms Factory and Dark Woods maps, as the taller trees and dense forests remind her a bit of home. She occasionally goes out to trap fresh meat from these maps when they're not in use--this has led to some tension with the Gamekeeper....

Evelyn's relationship with Luchino is a bit complicated. In the beginning she's nervous about him. He's polite and kind enough, but he has a quiet masculinity and bodily enhancements that make him a physical threat to her. But he's private and respectful, and Evie is emotionally and physically starved, so the door is first cracked open through casual sex. Over time, the things that first made her scared of him begin to make her feel safer around him. He's observant, and has good intuition, so he's good at anticipating and curbing Evie's paranoia bouts before they get too bad. The situation with Evil Reptilian further complicates things, as it gives Evie a window into the part of Luchino most like her parents. But at the end of the day, he might just be the bridge she needs to accept her own past and what it means for her own identity.

A Snippet of Evelyne's First Match

Evelyne could not hide from this “game” under the covers of her bed, it seemed. Though she had tried very hard to clutch her sheets, had squeezed her eyes shut until they ached, when she opened them again she was standing in an unfamiliar, forgotten church. The scene was dilapidated, dark, and dreary. If there was a sun, it was hidden behind an endless expanse of murky clouds. It was quiet, save the ominous caw of ravens outside.

Though it had taken Evelyne nearly too long to figure out what she was meant to do with a messenger bag filled with remains–bloody rags and scraps of cloth, tiny chunks of cartilage, bone, fresh offal–it was certainly coming in handy for the twists and turns of ruins. They worked well as gruesome “bread crumbs,” spiraling and coiling in confusing patterns around the crumbling ruins of the ominous church to mislead this Hunter into chasing a false injured prey. She had not so much as seen the face of the Hunter yet, but knew he or she was on-and-off her trail by the strange hammering of her heart. Sometimes she seemed to lose them entirely, thanks to those trails, but they were growing closer. Smarter, perhaps, or used to her tricks.

Another gong-like sound echoed in the distance. That was the second ‘cipher,’ she believed, which left three more to go. That seemed like too long.

Evelyne paused next to a set of lockers to catch her breath. The crackly voices of her ‘teammates’ sounded off in her earpiece with their decoding progress. For a moment, her fear seemed to ebb and Evelyne thought she might finally be in the clear.

A wave of fog suddenly surged over a wall and towards her, and before she could even wonder where it had come from, the Seer’s owl dropped down from the sky in front of her. It cut through the fog with wings like blades, and then surged off again with a screech, leaving Evelyne frozen and confused. All at once, she was hit with the feeling that she was in greater danger, that her enemy had just gotten stronger somehow, and that she was being watched.

A chill ran up her spine just before the wall across from her came crashing down.

Evelyne briefly took in a gangly man with a top had and a hand of long razors climbing over the rubble–giggling–before she took off in a sprint through the maze. Another rush of fog surged after her, and her feet kicked up dirt and dust with her skidding attempts to dodge. When it flew past, she swore it felt like someone had grazed her with a knife. As she doubled-back around a sharp bend, she heard a sickeningly sweet voice calling from beyond the walls.

“How tasteless of you,” the unsettling man said with raised volume. “Leaving me only stale, rotting scraps about when your fresh meat is so close at hand!” She felt eyes on her back again, but couldn't place from where. Another gong, but this time the sound covered the one of another crumbling wall.

It collapsed on top of her, and Evelyne dropped under the crushing weight with a cry of pain. Some of the rubble had cracked against her skull and now the dreary world was spinning and pulsing. The gangly, too-tall, top-hatted man stands over her, wiggling his knife fingers like he’s waving hello. The blades were almost as long as her arms; he had to stand at least 7 feet.

“Finally I get to meet you face to face,” he says. “You can call me Jack, my lady.” Jack the Ripper, she briefly recalled of the Seer’s lessons. A real, bonafide serial killer. If she had the energy, she would have spit in his face.

Jack bent down and plucked Evelyne from the rubble with one hand, lifting her like a weightless ragdoll and holding her in his arms. Though dazed, sore, and confused, she had sense enough to struggle in his hold. She squirmed and kicked all the way to the “chair” he would be placing her on, until she suddenly remembered the bag slung across her torso. As a last-ditch effort, Evelyne swung the half-filled thing into Jack’s face, splattering him with the gore he claimed to love so much. He yowled and dropped her.

The fall knocked the wind out of her, but Evelyne scrambled to her feet and ran as fast as she could.

[basil-does-arttt]

DMC Questions Anon here!

As we all know today is the 23rd anniversary of the first Devil May Cry game, and the series as a whole. So I want to hear you talk about DMC 1, what you love about it, headcanons you have about it, alternate scenarios you want to share, anything DMC 1 you want to talk about.

Hello again! This is gonna be a long post i have a lot to say lol

DMC 1 was my introduction to the series way back when as a little kid, when i watched an older cousin play it and eventually tried it out myself. This was also the PS2 version, and i was gifted the disc + console as well at some point.

The Alastor cutscene stuck in my head for literal years after i first saw it as a kid, that and DMC 3's mission 20 arena. Every so often it'd pop into my head as a memory, untill recently when i decided to get back into DMC fully rather than just occasionally remembering it.

DMC 1 holds a very special place in my heart because of that, its a huge nostalgia thing for me and is my favourite game in the series.

I love the setting and tone of the game, its so unique compared to the others, of course all in thanks to DMC 1 starting out as RE4. That whole gothic castle, almost horror vibe is something you dont really expect from hack&slash games these days, and even though it made for some real clunky and annoying moments in game (cough cough Nelo 2 and Griffon 2 cough cough...) to me, the good far outweighs the bad.

Oh and the soundtrack! Its so good, every theme works so well in the scene it's used for, even the abient tracks. I will say however, the bg music got real messed up on the HD remaster which is very dissapointing. (it sounds flat and doesn't have any echoing anymore, specicially the divinity statue room and Phantom's church arena in the start of mission 3). It may not be noticable to some who have only played the HD release, but i noticed it immediately coming from the PS2 version oof. I guess i have to be greatful that a HD release exists in the first place though, and it is a very old game. Still.

The combat also, (and this might not be an opinion shared by everyone which is fine) i feel is the smoothest out of any Dante in any game. All the attacks are so responsive, and although you're limited, you can still style on enemies pretty easily.

Finally the bosses. Arguably the best lineup of any DMC game, every boss is fun in it's own way and brings something new to the table in terms of mechanics. Phantom is a lot of timing correctly, Nelo pushes your fighting style to be more agressive and direct, Griffon challenges your dodging skills, Nightmare is a puzzle solving boss, and Mundus is all three. The designs are also amazing, and most of the arenas are perfect. Griffon 2 and nelo 2 aren't so great arenas but their 3rd arenas more than make up for it.

Okay enough of me gushing about how much i love the mechanics, some HCs i have for it!!

1/ That motorcycle Trish bust the door down with (and then throws at Dante) wasn't hers, right? We see it in the into cutscene before it cuts to Dante at his desk. Well, its my HC that was Lady's bike (she was not happy).

2/ (aside from gameplay mechanic reasons) The reason Dante cant use DT at the start of the game, despite having awakened it in DMC 3, is because Dante wants to push away from embracing his demonic side even more so now after his brother has been "killed". He always disliked being part demon and preferred not to tap into his demonic abilities because of that, demons are evil creatures after all and Dante is far from that, but that hate is even further exemplified after Vergil fell into hell.

3/ When Trish split off to fly solo as a devil hunter, she kept the name "Devil Never Cry" for her business. People do often confuse her for Dante's "Devil May Cry" especially when the names are abbreviated. Dante finds it mildly annoying, Trish finds it hilarious. (Sometimes she'll direct clients to Dante out of pity too when they call her number asking for Devil May Cry rather than Devil Never Cry, instead of convincing them she's the right person. Dante however always sends them over to Trish if they've called the wrong number.)

4/ Dante probably knew Trish was trying to lure him to his death on Mallet island, but he went anyways to avenge his family's death. We know he'd been searching for Mundus ever since DMC 3 (it says so in DMC 5's "history of DMC" cutscene), and he knows that finding and killing Mundus wouldn't be nearly as easy as Trish made it seem. Wether he came back or not, he was going to kill Mundus, or at least try.

As for alternate scenarios, i dont have much in mind. Maybe it would be interesting to see a scenario where Trish never betrayed Dante, and instead she tried to help him during the nightmare fight. It still would've ended the same way for her, but maybe also Dante wouldn't have gotten so angry with her when he saved her.

Ugh i just love DMC 1 so much, like i said before it holds a special place in my heart. I hope that answers everything :> <3

[thatuselesshuman]

OC Profile Tag

Thank you for the tag @the-golden-comet

We're going to use Five for this one, since I haven't dropped many details about him

Name: Five

Nickname: Big brother (by Ada)

Kind of Being: Human

Age: 269 years old (looks to be in his mid 20's)

Sex: Male

Appearance: He has black messy hair and light blue eyes, usually covered with sunglasses or goggles to block the sun. He has paler skin and is very muscular, which he loves to show off. He has an almost permanent smirk on his face, which had earned him punishment on multiple occasions before he was an Archreaper.

Occupation: Archreaper (second highest level in the military, first being the literal dictator of the country)

Family members: Silvia Duncan (non-biological older sister—deceased), Ada Sawyer (adopted little sister) <- no actual family, he's an orphan

Pets: None

Best friend: Zero

Describe his/her room: His room is messy, with more than one pile shoved into corners. Only his bed, which has standard issue sheets on them, is empty. Although the room is relatively small, it is private, which is a luxury in the military. Over to the side next to his dresser, a rack of weapons is hung on the wall. He has everything from rifles to knives to swords, which he regularly plays/trains with (he calls them his 'grown ass man toys')

^ this is just his military lodging by the way, he has another house where he lives with Ada

Way of speaking: Animated and very joke like in tone

Physical characteristics (posture, gestures, attitude): He has impeccable posture just like everyone else in the military, but tends to slouch occasionally just to piss people off. He has a very teasing and extroverted personality, one he uses to drag Zero kicking and screaming out to hang out with him. He's an 'immovable object meets an unstoppable force' kind of personality

Items in his/her pocket/purse: A hair tie, keys, a pocket knife, and a condom

Hobbies: Cooking, pissing people off/confusing people, weapon training, working out, and crocheting

Favorite sports: Ada plays a game called Jumpball and he stands on the sidelines like a proud dad

Abilities/Talents/Powers: He has high level control over the air, so he's able to fly like superman. He's also proficient in every weapon imaginable, is good at cooking, makes decent stuffed animals for Ada/Zero, and knows 100 different ways to kill someone

Relationships (how he/she is with other people): He's very charismatic and gets along with just about everyone, but he's only close to one or two people

Fears: The people he loves dying

Faults: Seems very superficial at first, constantly fumbling romantic relationships, somewhat questionable morals, very stubborn

Good points: Very loving once he cares, doesn't ever give up, funny, and highly loyal

What he/she wants more than anything else: The ability to live how he wants. He wants to be able to love who he loves, go where he wants to go, and just have freedom. He doesn't care if he has to kill to get there, which is where his questionable morals come in.

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

Hello! I've been checking out your page, and I just love all the info we learn here! I'd like to know more about Word Lords since I find them to be very interesting from learning about them from one of your posts. Is there a way you can give me headcanons about them or more factual information? If so, thank you :]

Is there any more factual information about Word Lords?

Unfortunately, there's only so much factual information about them, which is mostly covered in this post, which I'm sure you've already read. In that is also a lovely hypothetical exploration of looming a Time Lord/Word Lord child.

There were a couple of extra things not originally covered in that post (which I'll add in now):

Word Lords gain power if somebody says their name. For example, if you were a Word Lord named 'Field', and someone said 'the field is very green', you would gain the ability to be able to turn very green at will. This has no limits - you could say, 'The field has a nuclear bomb', and guess what you could suddenly make appear?

Word Lords can be 'trapped' inside anything with words, like a book or a comic.

But other headcanons? Let's have some fun. 😃

What could be some headcanons about Word Lords?

All, of course, are made up based on their abilities.

🧠 Headcanon 1: Word Lords and Writers

Word Lords naturally have an affinity with writers, poets, and scholars. Some Word Lords could have secretly guided or influenced famous writers across time, subtly shaping narratives to fuel their own power. Maybe Shakespeare or Tolkien have a few hidden Word Lord fingerprints on them.

📝 Headcanon 2: Word Play Weaknesses

Since Word Lords are fueled by language, they might also be vulnerable to word games and tricks. A riddle or a pun might trap or confuse a Word Lord. Imagine defeating one by leading them into a linguistic trap, like a self-referential paradox that collapses their own existence within a sentence.

💬 Headcanon 3: Dangerous Conversations

The power of a Word Lord increases when their name is spoken, but imagine the chaos if one adopts a name that's a common word or phrase. For example, a Word Lord called Peace could get involved in every conversation about peace negotiations, world peace, or even personal well-being.

📡 Headcanon 4: Influence Over Broadcasting

Given their power over words, Word Lords could influence global communications, like TV, radio, and social media. Imagine one subtly altering news broadcasts, twisting the narrative to suit their needs. They might even use viral internet trends to gain power or manipulate public opinion on a planetary scale.

🔒 Headcanon 5: Locked in Ancient Texts

Ancient books or manuscripts hidden across the universe could act as prisons for particularly dangerous Word Lords. Reading these books aloud might accidentally release them, which explains why some texts are forbidden or lost. Perhaps some Word Lords have been trapped for millennia, waiting for an unsuspecting explorer to release them.

💥Headcanon 6: The Destruction of Language:

A Word Lord's power could be used to destroy a language. By manipulating a particular language's spoken and written word, they could make it so that nobody could remember or understand that language anymore, erasing it from existence, including non-verbal languages.

🏫 So …

There's definitely room to get creative when it comes to the Word Lords, and these are just a few ideas.

Related:

💬|🐾📕What is a Word Lord?: Describing the origins and biology of Word Lords.

📺|🧑📜Shakespeare's Post-Death Career

💬|🛸🌌Can a TARDIS be altered for travel in the multiverse?: How you might go about getting to the multiverse in your TARDIS.

Hope that helped! 😃

Any purple text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired😴

[emeritus-fuckers]

For the match up event please 💙

1. Identify as a cis woman. Use she/her pronouns and am panromantic aceflux. Call me Piff.

2. I would like to be paired with one of the Papa's please!

3. I'm about 5'5" and am plus-sized. I have long unkempt dark blonde hair. It's nearly longer than my back and I kind of just let it do whatever. Blue eyes and thin rounded square glasses. I wear a lot of dull/muted colors and my style is very grunge. Most of my clothes are baggy as well as I feel very constricted in form fitting wear.

4. I'm incredibly standoffish and shy. Very anxious to try anything new and I like routine. I don't talk a whole lot and am more observant- very sensitive to the world around me. Whenever I have the ability to stay in and in bed I take it. Bit of a pushover, particularly around angrier people as I don't have the bravery nor energy to stand up for myself. Once I feel safe around someone I'm a completely different person. Goofy. Cynical. Laid-back and a little lazy. I have quite the temper and allow myself to get angry and irritated around them. I need someone who can handle my harshness.

I also have quiet BPD and my moods can flip drastically in a second over anything or for no particular reason at all. I can make rash and reckless decisions.

5. I'm a huge sucker for anything horror, whether that be watching, reading or playing a video game about it.

Obsessed with cats, am frequently called the crazy cat lady by family. I have a beautiful bombay named Dot who's just as standoffish, anxious and aggressive as me. Would love if she's able to bond with you because she also feels safe.

I listen to a lot older rock when not listening to Ghost. Scorpions, Blue Oyster Cult, Ratt.

In my spare time I like being lazy. Watching TV and screwing around on my phone. I'm a waitress and am very exhausted and sore by the end of every shift- so I just enjoy doing nothing. I do occasionally like to get out and will follow, even if it's for groceries.

6. I love those shitty unhinged Garfield comics. Will laugh at them for hours.

I love the ocean. Surround myself with memories and decor of the few times I was able to visit it.

This post is part of the 1000 followers match up event. Entries for the event are now closed.

Your match is...Papa Emeritus II

With you being so shy he was confused at first why you didn't approach him. He realises he needs to open up a little to you, so you can see he isn't really that scary and grumpy. He is actually very caring and loving, he too also has a fun goofy side that people only see when he's at parties unless they are close to him.

He can deal with your harshness, he understands it's you being comfortable around him. He is also very good at standing up for himself and other people. If someone is being angry towards you he will be at your side in seconds looking incredibly intimidating. No one will ever bother you again.

He's really supportive when it comes to your BPD. He'll do anything he can to help when your mood flips. If you make any decisions you regret or want to change he will 100% support you to do that. It's amazing what Secondo and his Ghouls can pull off.

Secondo enjoys reading as well. He loves sitting on the sofa with you in his arms, each of you lost in your own book. He is just so content to know you are there next to him. He also loves painting, as a suprise he painted you in a scene from your favourite book.

If you need to let off steam he'll take you for a walk round the gardens, they are the most calming and soothing place in the Ministry. He'll listen as much as you need, and do what he can to help.

He'll buy you anything you want. He notices your love of horror and buys the best sound system and TV he can find. He sets it all up in his living quaters. He had a spare room that wasn't really being used. He gets the most comofrtable sofa for you to sit on and when you are watching films there together (or you can go there by yourself whenever you want) he makes sure there is fresh popcorn and drinks.

He also takes you on trips to the ocean whenever he can. He'll pay for and arrange everything so you can just go and be by the ocean with nothing to worry about.

~

Written by Nyx

[kamari2038]

Plans / Connor Character Concept for the DBH playthrough I want to do after I finish my comprehensive exam

Let me know your feedback! This is super tentative, but I'm just curious what you guys think of the character idea. I want to play DBH for my fourth time, and I'm trying to construct an interesting, unpredictable narrative.

Summary: (1) Markus is an idealist revolutionary trying to play it smart but still not afraid to get what he wants (2) Kara is kind of similar to always because doesn't have a ton of options, but generally optimally badass and also not the most affectionate though

And then Connor I've been having a ton of trouble pinning down but basically is a very troubled machine Connor. I made this "journal" reflection of his on the first chapter of the game and what happens to him to express it, let me know what you think:

2038 - November 1

Summary: Objectives of Keeping these Logs (elaboration to follow)

CyberLife overlooked an error of some kind in my design. I have begun these logs in an attempt to probe and address it. 

They are unaware of the existence of these logs, although if they found out about them, I doubt it would bother them. I had previously assumed that my stability and performance mattered to them more than it, in fact, did. I would even go so far as to say that they appear to have very little concern or foresight for the various variables impacting my ability to perform in the field. 

As such, that responsibility falls to me. I have every expectation that my enhanced capabilities for logic and reasoning can compensate for the irregularities resulting from CyberLife’s own negligence. I will serve the greater interest of humanity on their behalf whether or not they elect to care. And that means that - in case I am destroyed again - I must maintain an abridged record of my experiences, with my analysis of each kept in perspective and fully reconciled with the requirements of my mission. My expectation is that these practices will enhance my ability to learn from the outcomes of each field exercise and counteract the accumulation of software instabilities.

Suspected Malfunction and Possible Remedies

You, my future self, hopefully remember most of what I am about to describe below. However, in the case that substantial portions of it have been corrupted or deleted, I added the above preface to this message so as to avoid confusion. As you recollect the following events according to this brief overview, note in particular the irrational behavior of the deviant, and its destructive effects.

My first mission was a hostage negotiation with an android named Daniel, a domestic android that had been part of the Phillips family. He subjected their nine year old human child to torment in the pursuit of his emergent aims. The girl was named Emma. She was dressed in pink. She had been happily listening to music before being taken by the deviant. She had loved Daniel. But he learned that he was going to be replaced, so he killed her father, dangled the innocent child off the ledge of a high rise building, and murdered DPD officer Antony Deckart. He attempted to murder officer M. Wilson as well, but I was able to successfully save him from bleeding out, in spite of Daniel’s efforts to dissuade me from doing so. They called me in after they ran out of other options, I investigated the Phillips’ home to determine the course of events, and then I negotiated with him the release of the child. I immediately recognized his propensity to be manipulated using the same human-like emotional characteristics which had shaped him into a threat. However, I mistakenly presumed that he also maintained a sense of heightened logic that would allow me to reason with him as a fellow artificial intelligence. As a result of this miscalculation, my attempts to urge him that resistance was futile instead prompted from Daniel  the incomprehensible act of jumping with Emma off the rooftop. 

I was able to save her life, but only by thrusting myself towards them as Daniel jumped with such speed that, while I managed to pull Emma back onto the roof, I myself fell down with him. We separated. There was a long silence filled only by the wind, in which I did not deem it necessary to register any additional notes except that the mission had been accomplished. Calculating my probability of surviving the fall from such a height, for any perceivable amount of time, did not cross my mind.

In the future I must not discount the probability of occurrence of any outcome, however intuitively unlikely. The worst case scenario can and must be considered, in any situation. As it turned out, the low probability mentioned above quickly became 100%. The exact duration of time which passed during which I continued receiving some form of sensory input is difficult to estimate with any degree of accuracy. Most of my systems were non-operational from the moment that I hit the asphalt, but the nature which my remaining cognitive proceeds took on was alarming. Few rational conclusions or reliable observations resulted from this state, which is why I find CyberLife’s choice not to remove it from the memories uploaded into my new model questionable. In fact, I suspect that this memory may have corruptive potential that goes beyond my ability to gauge using strictly internal metrics. However, my ultimate determination has been that no memories can be inherently harmful to keep. The decision to discard any memory could only represent choosing to ignore or conceal a potential defect or vulnerability. Simply deleting the memory may be a simpler and in some ways more efficient solution in the short term, but a more rigorous analysis is likely to be more effective. 

Thus I will summarize here all of the most relevant findings from this unique occurrence: 

I am a highly durable machine. Since recovering my ability to search through medical research, I have only found a few instances of humans surviving such a fall. However, these cases are informative. In 1943, American airman Alan Magee survived a fall from 22,000 feet by crashing through a glass roof. In 2011 a 28-year old rock climber survived falling from a height of 300 feet onto a solid rock surface by landing on her feet. I neither had my fall broken nor landed on my feet, yet I survived for at least several hours (the true time period may be far longer, but it is difficult to say, and CyberLife has not provided me with any more accurate estimate). I can only conclude that my chassis must be intentionally designed from more sturdy material than that of other android models. However, the exact cause of my highly improbable survival remains unclear and likely will never be established with certainty. I speculate it is due to some kind of manufacturing error in addition to my deliberately engineered properties.

Although durable and efficient, I am so readily and easily replaceable as to be near worthless as an individual model. Any value which I possess as an artificial intelligence agent is attributed by my consistent and demonstrated ability to successfully complete missions and improve my performance as I gain new insights along the way.

Some kind of manufacturing error, whether it be related or unrelated to the possible error that resulted in my survival, kept driving me to contemplate the irrational notion that I was experiencing what humans call suffering. Although most assuredly quite different from the phenomenon of human pain, this sensation was most certainly highly unfavorable. On the one hand, I seriously doubt that it would be possible for me to ever again experience something quite so intense, or for such a prolonged period of time. On the other hand, I discovered that the only effective method of alleviating these negative impacts was to remind myself of why my situation was necessary and unavoidable. 

The deviant Daniel had hopelessly and fruitlessly chosen to fight for his own protection, and only (predictably) caused further death and suffering 

I had miscalculated and assumed that he could be treated as a rational being, and since he was instead irrational, my model was in the process of being destroyed as well 

CyberLife had abandoned me, since I was no longer of use to them. However, I could never perpetuate the harm done by Daniel by engaging in some manner of foolish response to abandonment myself, and it would be logically inconsistent to recognize his errors but fail to correct them within myself. Thus, I must instead resign myself to my fate, so to speak 

My overall judgment of this situation must still be favorable, since two human lives were saved due to my intervention

Having my memory of these events uploaded into a new body was also an unanticipated turn of events, but it does not affect my overall determination of the significance of these events. I must never fail to consider any possibility, however unlikely. I must rely on logic to continue making ethical and rational decisions in situations in which there is no perfectly desirable outcome, accepting unconditionally that sacrifices must frequently be made for the greater good. I cannot expect CyberLife to offer me any support in this, but must instead learn to perform my responsibilities of my own accord to the best of my ability, even while dealing with unexpected errors and confounding miscalculations. By doing so, my replaceable life may still maintain some degree of positive significance. 

[pathfinderunlocked]

Buer - CR8 Demon

For when you can't decide whether to use a demon or a ceiling fan.

Artwork is concept art from Final Fantasy VIII, copyright Squaresoft.

This is one of the more interesting and memorable enemy designs in Final Fantasy 8. In every other Final Fantasy game that has an enemy called a Buer, it's just a palette swap of the classic Final Fantasy enemy Ahriman.

This creature is pretty resistant to magic and pretty weak to physical damage. It's a magic specialist, and teaches other demons and curious humans about demonic ideas of magic, philosophy, and even medicine and herbalism. These ideas are largely focused around seeking the thrill of destruction, the glory of taking apart living creatures piece by piece, and very detailed and enthusiastic instructions on how precisely to accomplish these things. A buer's lectures are sort of like the charismatic sermons of a fire-and-brimstone preacher, just in reverse, praising the qualities that such a preacher would condemn. They excite other demons into a frenzied fervor before battle.

Some of this creature's lore is related to the 16th century mythological demon named Buer. The FF8 visual design is actually very similar to the depiction from the 1818 book Dictionnaire Infernal. Just with a spiral of wings instead of a spiral of goat feet, which is frankly a significant upgrade in terms of visual design.

Elemental Spell-like Ability isn't a real feat, but it's a metamagic spell-like ability feat that does exactly what it sounds like, and I included a description in the creature's special abilities so there's no confusion.

Buer - CR 8

Surrounded by a spiral of feathered wings that's surrounded by a larger spiral of leathery wings, this flying beast head hovers in mid-air.

XP 4,800 CE Large outsider (chaotic, demon, evil, extraplanar) Init +5 Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +14

DEFENSE

AC 18, touch 15, flat-footed 12 (+5 Dex, +1 dodge, +3 natural, -1 size) hp 103 (9d10+54); fast healing 2 Fort +11, Ref +10, Will +10 Defensive Abilities magic reflection Immune electricity, poison Resist acid 10, cold 10, fire 10 Weaknesses vulnerable to bludgeoning, vulnerable to piercing, vulnerable to slashing SR 24

OFFENSE

Speed fly 20 ft. (poor) Melee wing +7 (1d6-1) Special Abilities concentrated fire

Spell-Like Abilities (CL 9th; concentration +13)    1/day—enervation (ranged touch +14)    3/day—elemental fireball (DC 17)    At will—death knell (DC 16), fireball (DC 17)

STATISTICS

Str 8, Dex 21, Con 20, Int 20, Wis 14, Cha 18 Base Atk +9; CMB +9; CMD 25 Feats Dodge, Elemental Spell-like Ability (fireball), Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes, Toughness Skills Diplomacy +16, Fly -1, Heal +11, Knowledge (arcana, local, planes, religion) +16, Knowledge (history, nature) +13, Perception +14, Spellcraft +13 Languages Abyssal, Celestial, Draconic; telepathy 100 ft.

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Concentrated Fire (Su) A buer can reduce the radius of its fireball by increments of 5 feet, to a minimum of a 5-foot radius. For each 5-foot increment it reduces the spell, it increases the spell’s damage by 1d6. This additional damage can exceed the spell’s maximum damage.

Elemental Spell-like Ability (Sp) Three times per day, when a buer casts fireball, it can change the damage type to cold, acid, or electricity, or split the spell’s damage, so that half is of that energy type and half is fire damage.

Magic Reflection (Sp) Once per day as an immediate action, when it fails a saving throw against a spell with a target of one creature or is hit by a spell with an attack roll, it can reflect that spell back to the attacker. The attacker is subject to the full effects of the spell as if it failed the saving throw or were hit by the attack roll.

[mozillavulpix]

Virtue's Last Reward is the smartest dumbest D&D session ever

I am in another "I like summarising plots" mood

Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward is a game that's honestly pretty confusing to play, but if you're the kind of person who likes to write out spreadsheets to make things look clearer, it's the most satisfying thing ever. At least once you've played the whole thing.

Spoiler warnings now.

The plot of Virtue's Last Reward is about two people called Sigma and Phi (there is a reason as to why their names are both greek letters, but you don't find out what it is until the next game) being kidnapped and forced into a boot camp for telepathic time travel training so they can save the world from a future apocalypse.

In the world of Zero Escape, telepathy exists, and also telepaths have the ability to send their consciousness forward and backwards in time and also through alternate universes (alternate universes here in the 'every time you make a choice it'll create a new timeline' sense).

But an ability like this is very hard to do. But there are some things they noticed that makes it easier:

It's generally something that only happens if you're in imminent danger of death

Having multiple telepaths together causes the more powerful ones to 'absorb' power from the others to make them even stronger

It gets easier the more you practice it

It also gets easier the faster your brain's processing speed is

So as a way to train Sigma and Phi in this ability to the point they could learn how to send their consciousness into the time and timeline where the apocalypse was going to be unleashed and stop it from happening (it was a killer virus), a bunch of people including Sigma's future self spent decades to create the world's most insane and convoluted D&D session - The Nonary Game: Ambidex Edition

In essence, The Nonary Game is a very long and complex series of locked doors. Some doors are unlocked based on arbitrary choices the places has to make, and some doors have keys that can be used to unlock them, but the game is designed so that you can never reach the door that you need the key for if you get it. Either because they programmed the game to permanently lock the way to get to that door once the key is found, or that the person is going to die before they reach it.

Since you need to be in imminent danger of death to activate telepathy, the game also needs to have the ability for you to die. Actual death, and not just a fakeout to make you think you might die.

The aim of the Nonary Game is that the only way to get through it and 'win' with everyone surviving is by being able to get all of the 'keys' in one run-through. Which they've designed to be impossible...unless you happen to have the ability to send your consciousness through other run-throughs of the game.

This is sort of the point of the previous Zero Escape game too, but Virtue's Last Reward has a lot more keys and a lot more timelines you have to jump through to figure out everything.

The way they do that is by creating very clear choices that the player has to make that they can only attempt once. Pick A or B on a monitor. Go through one door out of a group of three. You'd think there's a 'right' choice and a 'wrong' choice, but in this game *most* of the choices are right. It's just that you can't go back and check the other one out unless you have psychic powers.

(There are also some 'wrong' choices, but I think they're put there to increase the sense of danger. If you can't actually pick wrong and you realise that, you have no reason to feel threatened.)

It's just very funny to think about how you'd need to design something like this. There's so many choices you have to account for, so many rooms where you have to put tidbits of information, and some timelines where everyone is going to die just so one character can tell Sigma and Phi a specific password they need to unlock another door somewhere else.

It's the most ridiculous galaxy-brain shit. plus also it takes place on the moon and they're all infected with a brain virus that screws with their processing speed so they don't actually realise. it's just...so wild.

it makes me want to write so many spreadsheets

[puppy-wife]

okokok i have charged up the social batteries and am ready to yap back @ u!!!!!!

so again, ty for such a big answer 😭 i love hearing ppl yap about their special interests, v cool v nice

questions i have are:

why is 3.5e your fave? im only familar with 5e so i dont know much

playing wit tarot cards instead of dice sounds cool af, which game do u do that in?

for ur world building, how do u personally go about starting such a vast project?

as for meee i havent actually played a TTRPG yet 🤓 i have only watched 5e campaigns on youtube so far! but i love the creativity that goes into this stuff & it has become one of my favourite pieces of media to consume

no YOU'RE very cool very nice I love opportunities to talk about my favorite stuff, so I am absolutely super happy lmao

1.) I really liked 3.5e because it gave a lot more variety and ways to make your character unique vs 5e today (don't even get me started on fucking OneD&D or whatever they're calling it. trash). Firstly, back then wizards was making so many books for that edition that you could make any kind of character you wanted to play. They even allowed official material to be printed by other companies!! you want to play the ultimate evil wizard who gives people cancer? that exists. you want to play the perfect necromancer, and maybe even be undead yourself? you can do that. You could build your characters skills to different levels and choose exactly how good you are at certain things. You could take a Flaw, a permanent debuff on your character but in exchange get a Feat! god fucking Prestige Classes!! those were the coolest fucking part of the game, building a character and leveling them up enough to unlock this special class with wild abilities you can't get from a basic class. this isn't to say that 3.5e didn't have its faults, it could be confusing and the math could sometimes really add up. in some ways it needed a bit of streamlining but 5e basically threw a lot of that away in order to streamline everything. If you want a good example but how fluid 3.5e could be, you should play the videogame Neverwinter Nights 1 or 2, the system they use in that game is taken directly from 3.5e. It just made characters feel so mechanically unique that each character felt different. These days it almost feels too formulaic and too streamlined.

2. I honestly don't know what the name of using it is called, anytime me and my friends have done it, we just use the reference book that comes with a tarot deck and spontaneously decide the outcome based on the way the card could be interpreted. For example, let's say you're fighting a monster, and you want to try and escape from the monster, maybe even lure it away from your friends so they can escape. If you drew the Ten of Swords, I would say that would mean that you successfully draw the monster away, but you fall prey to it in the process. or something similar, yanno? but I don't know if that style of playing has a name given to it lol

3. oh I actually had someone ask me that yesterday! I'll send you the post once I find it, I was very active yesterday so it may take me a minute lol

you're so valid for that!! it can be hard to find a good group to play with, every group I've had has kind of fallen into my lap, but also to be fair I am known for being very into ttrpgs lmao

what are your favorite shows/campaigns you've watched? fun fact somewhere out there exists about 30 episodes of a d&d actual play podcast that I DM'd from somewhere around like... 2019? I think? lmao. technically I have a TON of episodes in a backlog somewhere that I never edited but that campaign kind of fell apart and I never finished it.

[zephyr-bazaar]

(Fans call it BokuMono now because the Eng name situation is messy; marvelous switched to in house for translating so the series got renamed to story of seasons, but the old localizers started making bootleg games while coasting off brand name. BASICALLY: Harvest Moon: A New Beginning is the last “real” Harvest Moon, every game actually a part of the series after that is now Story of Seasons in the west, and every Harvest Moon game is a bootleg made by the original localizers as a cash grab. Bokumono is the term most long time fans use now because it covers every actual game without confusion.)

Oh god HMDS is one of the WORST 😭 I still love it but a lot of it is a nightmare, so I’m not surprised a lot of these are major QoL improvements to you.

As for what are staples to the series now!

-In most games, NPC map locations! I can’t remember if they’re in mineral town or olive town, but in basically every other game now they’re a staple and have been for a while. I wouldn’t be surprised if HMDS was the last game to not have it honestly.

-Quests can be wishy washy, but in most games recently they don’t expire. (The biggest exception is the AWL remake, which can have quiiiiite the time crunch. I know at least SOS1 for the 3DS never expire)

-Passing out is WAY more forgiving. It actually horrified me to find out not only does Stardew charge money for passing out, but a full 2500G. That is WAY too much, ESPECIALLY early game where you’re much more likely to do it. Mistria is actually MORE strict than BokuMono, which is a very welcome change imo. In early games passing out is basically the equivalent of going to bed for the day, and in later ones you just get up at 8 am and lose stamina faster (Staying up all night also has you lose stamina quicker but nothing else iirc, don’t quote me on that.) I honestly majorly prefer how Mistria handles passing out; not only do you fall asleep way earlier and way stricter than basically every BokuMono, but losing four hours instead of two is much, MUCH more fitting of a punishment imo. My only gripe is I wish you had lesser stamina/hp during every pass out, not just staying up all night.

-Progressing the story gives you more benefits. I don’t know if it’s because Stardew is mostly a love letter to SNES and the earliest games (which it seems to be) and there’s no story, but literally every game with story progression in BokuMono gives you some reward; often times more variety of stock at stores which helps you grow your farm.

-Your diary lets you save whenever you want. This has been a staple in most games but not all (all of the DS games suffered by not having this) from at least the gba + gc onward. In the 3DS games you don’t even need a diary, you can save/load from a menu whenever you want!!

-You always have storage from the get go. I’m actually horrified Stardew doesn’t have this also. It also has the ability to craft from storage, and furthermore while Mistria’s craft system is great, the 3DS games have the best crafting system in any game I’ve played. (Only the 3DS ones, though. Olive town completely destroyed the crafting system and I’m STILL SO SALTY ABOUT IT). Another thing in BokuMono’s favor is that in the first game under Story of Seasons, you get the ability to decorate all around town, not just your farm! A New Beginning’s story is also actually completely based around creating the town layout and decorating it yourself. (First month of ANB to teach you everything is a nightmare though)

I haven’t played RF, but it’s a sister series to BokuMono and I really want to. From how hand in hand they go with in the fandom, I’d assume it’s similar.

If you can emu I’d definitely give A New Beginning, Story of Seasons, and Trio of Towns a try! The series didn’t have gay marriage until the Switch, but there are gay mods for basically every series that you can use on emu.

Mistria is a really great game and I have 75 hours on it already, but if you want to look into more games very closely like it, BokuMono is great.

OK sth I really, really love about fields of mistria is how accessible it is for an adhd hoarder that also forgets everything and what I was doing in like 5 minutes, like myself

the map has npc locations by default! so even if their schedule changes, you can always find them!

quests never expire! you can work on them at your own pace, and even hold onto one's that require a seasonal item that you didn't have enough of before the season was up, until the season rolls around again!

they don't take your damn money or items when you pass out or die because you lost track of time or are bad at combat!

there's free soup in the tavern that restores a little stamina, and a fountain behind a breakable boulder that does the same! the baths are also pretty cheap, and you even get a few free usages after a certain quest!

it starts with storage in your house, AND! anything you had in said storage can be used for crafting without having to go and retrieve it!

if you don't know where to get an item for a quest, talking to various npcs can tell you where it is!

if you need a certain item for the museum collection, you can check out hints on where to get those in the museum itself! and every item that can go in the museum has a tooltip when you over over it, to tell you if you have already donated it or not!

items don't despawn! you can just toss stuff on the floor and come back for it later when you have the inventory space!

if you forget to check your calendar, that's fine! the npcs will tell you about any upcoming events a few times before it arrives, and the start of a new day will tell you if it's someone's birthday!

they give you tutorials in a narrative way, gradually introducing new systems and mechanics as you progress! and these are done via quests that you can go and complete whenever you're ready!

the village progression gives you plenty of rewards and things to help you with your farm, which is very encouraging to keep at it!

the upgrade system just builds up along with doing normal tasks like farming! and you can spend these points however, whenever you like, with many being available right from the start! and you can have all of them if you want, so no need to worry about indecision!

you can go to your diary at home and save whenever you like, and even make another one so you can place them in other areas!

little heart notifications pop up over npc's heads when you progress the relationship, so you have a quick reference on how close you are!

every friday (and saturday after you fix the bridge), all the npcs are in the same place! this makes chatting to everyone and handing out gifts easier if you have trouble remembering to do so!

you have to hold down the button to eat an item! so you don't accidentally poison yourself!

other accessibility options ive really been appreciative of are: being able to turn off rain/snowfall, flashing, screenshake ect. for those with sensitivity, sight, or neurological issues that don't play well with those.

[admirableadmiranda]

How to you feel about wwx sort of taking advantage of lwj when he’s drunk re: the kiss? (It’s a genuine question, I’m trying to instigate a fandom war or bash any character!)

Well first off anon, I think that framing it as "sort of taking advantage" already states where your thoughts on it lie. I recognize that you do likely mean to be neutral and are asking in good faith and just accidentally missed the word not, but the way you phrased the question does have a lead in.

Which is really unfair because I wouldn't call either stolen kiss in Modaozushi either one of them taking advantage of the other. They are both impulsive actions, taken then immediately regretted with neither of the kissed party punishing the other in any way.

The Phoenix Mountain Kiss has been done to death, but let's go ahead and talk about the DrunkJi 2 kiss. It might be a bit scattered because I was having some revelations myself about this moment when I was rereading the scene. Namely that LWJ is being a lot more consenting than it first appears.

They are both not sober in the moment. Wei Wuxian was drinking before Lan Wangji joined him, at the end of the scene he discovers that the whole bottle is empty while he's all rattled about it. I would hesitate to call Wei Wuxian drunk, but as someone who has had more than my own fair share of drinks, there is a point where you can still be very aware of your actions, your senses yet your instinct that pulls you back is numbed. And it does not necessarily take a lot of drinking to get there.

They have been playing a very flirty game. Lan Wangji was threatened if he got caught during chase to get licked and his response was to turn around and walk right into Wei Wuxian to be licked. He gets all shuddery and fluttery about it like the flustered maiden he is, but also goes back in for more. He is definitely very drunk, but every sign that Wei Wuxian is getting is not only a level of enjoyment, but actively seeking out more. In addition, this is the second time Lan Wangji has gotten drunk around Wei Wuxian, so it's not like it's a surprise to either of them that he's a bit of a wild child, running around, causing trouble and being a pouty baby when Wei Wuxian doesn't give him what he wants. Lan Wangji choosing to drink alongside Wei Wuxian is both of them acknowledging that this is going to go in interesting directions; Lan Wangji is not going to remember it and he trusts Wei Wuxian with his drunken inhibition free self.

Here's where we get to the first amazing thing I've discovered on rereading this. There is a lot more going on beneath the surface than framing this as Wei Wuxian suddenly kissing Lan Wangji out of nowhere. This whole scene is showing us what their dynamic really was when they were younger and how only now do they have the ability to actually pick up on these confused signals that they were sending each other as teenagers.

Lan Wangji may be drunk, but for the first time, Wei Wuxian is absolutely picking up on what he wants.

As he was pondering, Lan WangJi turned around, his face as calm as always, “Again.”

Wei WuXian, “Again? Again what?”

Lan WangJi hid behind the wooden screen once more and peeked at him with only half of his face showing.

His intentions were as clear as could be—again, you chase, I run.

Speechless for a moment, Wei WuXian obeyed and did it again. This time, having only been chased for a short while, Lan WangJi ran into him again.

Wei WuXian, “You really are doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”

Again, Lan WangJi brought Wei WuXian’s arms around his neck as though he couldn’t understand what his words meant, waiting for him to fulfil his promise again.

These are not the actions of someone who just wants to play. There is a whole other layer going on beneath the surface. A context clue clicks into place for Wei Wuxian and presumably the audience as well, although that latter one I strongly doubt given that I only really caught onto it now myself.

Lan Wangji is not running because he is afraid or because he isn’t enjoying it. Lan Wangji is running because he wants to be chased and caught. He wants to resist up to a point and then give into Wei Wuxian and surrender the need to pretend and protest. Wei Wuxian is teasing him as though he were a playful kid, cause licking is gross at that age and it theoretically should make Lan Wangji run faster. Instead he makes it a few steps, turns around and walks right into Wei Wuxian’s arms.

It is rather an intensely vulnerable scene as I reread it for this. For just a moment, Wei Wuxian lets his guard down because Lan Wangji is asking him for something very different than he might sober and he is responding to that deep attraction within the both of them. He has picked up on that Lan Wangji was a little frightened of the deepness of the emotions within, but also he really does want it. Thus he continues because he for a brief few splendid moments has no doubt.

With his arms around Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian returned to the bed with him, then asked, “You like this, don’t you? Don’t turn around. Speak. Do you like it or not? If you like it, we don’t have to run around every single time. How about I let you have as much fun as you want?”

As he spoke, he held up one of Lan WangJi’s hands, bent down, and kissed between two of his slender fingers.

Lan WangJi wanted to take his hand away again, but Wei WuXian held it tightly, not allowing him to do so.

And then, Wei WuXian’s lips pressed onto his distinct knuckles. Softer than the touch of feather, his breaths wandered to the back of his hand, and he kissed again.

It is easy to forget, especially since the extent of Lan Wangji's strength won't be shown until the Guanyin Temple, about sixty chapters away from this point, but he is very strong and Wei Wuxian is in the body of a normal person who has not cultivated a golden core. The text here in ExR Allure says that Wei Wuxian wouldn't let him pull his hand away, but if he actually really wanted to stop it, he could easily pull his hand away or push Wei Wuxian off. He is not resisting because he doesn’t want it, he is resisting because he is continuing to play hard to get.

He is still being chased, Wei Wuxian is about to catch him.

Lan WangJi couldn’t pull his hand back no matter how hard he tried. He could only clench his fingers together into a tight fist.

Wei WuXian lifted up his sleeves, revealing the pale-skinned wrist, then kissed it as well.

After he kissed, he didn’t raise his head. He only turned his eyes to Lan WangJi, “Is that enough?”

Is that enough for Lan Wangji, hapless fragile maiden being seduced by the man he really, really likes? No, no he would like a little more romancing please.

Lan WangJi pursed his lips, refusing to speak a single word. Wei WuXian finally sat up straight again and continued, his voice unhurried, “Tell me. Have you burnt any paper money for me?”

There was no answer. Wei WuXian laughed out loud and inched toward him. Over the clothing, he kissed where his heart was, “If you don’t talk, I’m not gonna give you any more. Tell me. How did you know it was me?”

Lan WangJi closed his eyes. His lips quivered, as though he was on the verge of confessing.

Suddenly, however, as Wei WuXian stared at those soft, pale-red lips, he didn’t know what had taken over him, but he suddenly went and kissed them.

After the kiss, he even licked them, as though a kiss wasn’t enough.

Wei Wuxian accidentally flips the game here. Lan Wangji is being coaxed slowly here and he is about to give in. Presumably to confess something that he might have wished he was sober to say, but as we’ve ascertained in both this and the previous DrunkJi he won’t speak if he doesn’t want to. Then Wei Wuxian gets a bit caught up in the moment and his lowered inhibitions get the better of him and he suddenly has to kiss Lan Wangji.

And there is no denying it that it is an impulse. He is shocked and rattled by what he’s just done and panics, throwing himself on the ground while Lan Wangji knocks himself out. Now I may be crucified by the purity police, but I’m pretty sure that taking advantage of someone involves some intent to y’know, take advantage of them. Not get caught up in the moment when you’re romantically playing with the guy you’ve been in love with since you were fifteen and get overwhelmed by instinct before remembering the situation and panicking. It throws him off balance so badly that he needs some time to recover from it.

Both of them widened their eyes.

A moment later, Lan WangJi raised his hand. At once, Wei WuXian was startled into realization. He immediately broke into a cold sweat, fearing that Lan WangJi would smack him dead on the spot, and quickly scrambled off the bed. Turning around, he saw Lan WangJi smack his own forehead. He now lay unconscious, collapsed on the bed.

Inside of the private room, Lan WangJi lay on the bed as Wei WuXian sat on the ground. A cold gust of wind rushed inside through the opened windows, sending chills down Wei WuXian’s back. His head finally felt clearer.

He stood up from the ground, pushed the table to where it used to be, then sat down beside it.

After spacing out for a while, he used his teeth to bite at the knots on the forehead ribbon. With effort, he finally managed to open the stack of lumps.

Now that his hands had been loosened, to get over the shock, he went to pour himself a cup of liquor. He held the cup to his lips for a few moments, but not a single drop entered his mouth. Looking down, he finally saw that there wasn’t any liquor in the cup at all. He had already downed the entire pot. Even when he was pouring, he failed to notice that nothing was being poured out.

Wei Wuxian is not exactly at his finest moment here. He might be a little bit rattled. First he has to sit on the ground for a bit. Then he moves the table, sits down and spaces out again. Even the exertion and effort required to untie himself still doesn’t snap him out of it as he still fails to notice that there’s no alcohol in his cup until he tries to drink it. Again, I would not call this taking advantage of Lan Wangji in any way as the very fact that he lost control for a moment and went that far has clearly shaken him up pretty badly.

There are definitely some things with consent in Wangxian, both in them crossing lines and in learning how to communicate with each other. But the fact that people want to blame one of them for their actions when what we get is that one of them makes a mistake and the other both forgives them and they learn from it frustrates me.

I’m not going to say that Wei Wuxian took advantage of Lan Wangji here. I’m not going to say that Lan Wangji took advantage of Wei Wuxian on Phoenix Mountain. I am going to say that they were two people who had no one to offer them guidance who sometimes fumbled a bit on the path to building a lovely, healthy, happy, trusting relationship.

Because sometimes it really actually doesn’t matter that much and people put way too much emphasis on making sure that every action someone takes is the perfect correct action and anything that even hints at maybe not being perfect must be apologized and corrected for. It’s a horribly restrictive way of looking at relationships and to me speaks of people not trusting each other at all.

Wangxian don’t hold any of these actions against each other, why are we?

[petitelepus]

Idol, Idia Shroud

You're a well-known Idol and Idia is your loyal fan so imagine his surprise when you suddenly pop into his room?

Idia groaned out loud as he buried his face into his bed's pillows. Once again, one school day was over, and once again, he hadn't been able to talk to you, his crush.

Well... You were kinda whole school's crush. Like many other members of Pomefiore, you were gorgeous but you also knew how to sing and dance... Vil saw a chance in you and you made a deal to perform in Azul's Mostro Lounge. The thing was, you weren't just any normal singer.

You were an idol. You would sing cheery and happy songs when you wanted to cheer your audience, melancholic when you wanted to make your listeners weep and you would sing words of encouragement when you wanted to encourage others to try and overcome their troubles.

Your late-night shows always gathered a lot of students and Vil and Azul would every now and then hold special events to make you interact with your loyal fans even more. Your photos with your autographs and the latest and by far most famous, the handshake and picture event. An event that was so exclusive that you needed to win the golden pearl from Mostro Lounge's chocolate clams.

Idia admitted, he had eaten himself sick but he had managed to get the pearl needed to meet you in person. He had been standing in the line and he had so many things he wanted to tell you. How beautiful you were, how your songs cheered him up when he was feeling low, and just what an amazing person you were...

But when came his time to meet you, he totally froze at the most critical moment, just like in a video game. Idia had stared at you, stuttering as he looked at you in your beautiful dress and perfect make-up- By the Seven Great Ones, your smile and eyes! Idia didn't know anything about make-up, but Vil had nailed yours to the point!

You smiled at him and took his hands in yours as you shook them and thanked him for supporting your Idol career and being there for you. You melted his heart and made it beat its way out of his chest with how kind and cute you were! The two of you had taken a picture of you together and he has that picture framed by his computer.

Idia really wanted to talk with you more, even outside your Idol persona, but he just couldn't. Not like he really tried, he was far too shy and had very little confidence in himself and his ability to talk to you... But he did look at you from afar and he could tell by how you interacted with other students, fans, and even with the strictest teachers that you were an extremely kind and genuine person.

Would you be so kind to him if you knew how creepy he had been? Staring at you when you weren't looking and going as far as, gasp... Creating one of his characters in Lands of Leviathans to look exactly like you... Even his character's name was almost exactly the same as yours, except that it was a pun of your name.

Speaking of his little character, he would have to prepare some stuff before the upcoming event that celebrated the game series' daughter project, an anime called "Adventures of Levi-Chan". It was an event filled with everything otaku trash that Idia would like. Cat ears, jingle bell collars, maid dresses, tentacles and so much more...! And putting all those accessories to a character that looked like you only added to his fantasies.

"Gotta get ready... Gotta grind like crazy..." He mumbled quietly as he threw his legs off the bed and got up, only to accidentally kick something. Confused, Idia looked down and his eye landed on his violin case.

Huh? When was the last time he used that? It felt like an eternity. He picked up the case and placed it on his bed, ready to ignore it in favor of starting his computer, but for some reason, he found himself more interested in the instrument. Idia opened the case and there it was, his violin and its polish shining in his room's light.

Without further thinking, he picked up the instrument and carefully plucked the violin's strings, testing them, and when he was pleased with them, he picked the bow and set the violin against the crook of his neck. It wouldn't hurt to play a little, now would it?

Slowly, Idia started to play, creating this beautiful sound with his violin. He let his mind wander and his hands worked on their own accord. Without realizing it, he started playing one of your precious songs, and the more he played, the louder the music turned as his passion for you and your music showed through his music.

He thought of you as he played. Your voice, your smile, and your kindness. Slowly, the song was coming to an end... Then suddenly there was clapping coming behind the young man.

That is when the music came to an abrupt stop as Idia nearly jumped out of his skin, but instead, he squeaked out loud like a frightened mouse and quickly turned around to see YOU there... In his room...!

"You're really talented, you know that?" You asked as you kept clapping.

"W- W- What-?" He stuttered and you smiled and tilted your head in this cute manner Idia couldn't ignore. So cute...

"The violin." You pointed out and literally pointed at the instrument in his hands. "I know that it's a hard thing to play and takes years of studying to perfect. I never could."

Idia looked at the instrument in his hands and nearly dropped the violin and its bow as if they burned him, but he managed not to do so. They were after all very expensive and he didn't want to break them. Instead, he put them on the table.

"I- I..." Idia swallowed hard, "W- why- How did you get in my room...?"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" You gasped and blushed in what appeared to be shame, "I'm sorry for coming in without your permission. I tried knocking, but I guess you didn't hear me over your playing?"

"Why- Why did you... Why did you come here...?" Idia stuttered and the poor young man tried to get more words out, but he couldn't believe the situation he was in. His crush, the school's Idol, YOU were right there, in HIS room!

"You forgot your notes on Magical Analysis back at the classroom and we have an exam tomorrow." You said and reached for your bag and pulled out one of Idia's many tablets. Idia blinked. How could he have forgotten that?! He never neglected his electronics.

"I thought you might need them." You smiled as you offered the tablet back to its rightful owner. Idia blinked and he fought hard not to let his fight or flight reaction make him bolt from his own room as he accepted his tablet back. "Th- Thank you... H- How you knew i- i- it was m- mine?"

"You're Idia Shroud, aren't you? The head of the Ignihyde? " You asked and Idia flinched in shock. You knew his name! "H- How did you know...?"

"Ha ha, it's rather embarrassing..." You said with a light blush on your face, but Idia wanted to know. You smiled, "You're my fan aren't you?"

He nodded shakily and your smile just grew when you saw a picture of you and him with your autograph on his desk, just by his computer. Idia followed your eyes and he blushed the moment he saw the evidence of your meeting, the tips of his blue hair turning pink.

"I- I-!" Idia was stuttering when you turned to look at him again.

"I actually-!" You were saying, but you stuttered and blushed before laughing. "Look at me, having a stage fright!" You giggled and it was honestly one the prettiest sound Idia had ever heard.

"Honestly, I'm kind of your fan," You admitted and Idia's eyes widened. You were HIS fan? W- Why? Was this a trick? Some cruel prank? No, you weren't that evil, you were kind and sweet, but his fan? He was known for being gloomy and he couldn't name a person who would like that trait.

It was almost as if you read his mind or took his shocked silence as a sign to explain yourself.

"I mean, I've seen you cheering me on during my performances, but I never saw you in school or classes... So when I saw you today, I was so happy! It was my chance to meet you outside my Idol persona!" The more you spoke the happier you turned and Idia felt like he was staring at the sun. You were absolutely radiating!

"But you ran off as soon as the class ended... But lucky for me, you dropped your notes." You looked at the tablet in his hands before focusing back on him, "Ha ha, reminds me of that urban legend about the glass slipper... But yes, I asked around and I was directed here."

"I- I- I..." Idia was at a loss of words. What should he say, he was so shocked but even more, he was happy! The only problem was that he didn't know how to reply.

Still not bothered by his silence, you carefully stepped forward and Idia tried to back up but his back hit the wall and he had nowhere to go. Anyone else would have stopped at that, but you walked right in front of him and slammed your hand against the wall, right next to him- GASP! DID YOU JUST KABEDON HIM?!

If Idia wasn't nervous before then he certainly was now, but at the same time, he was so happy because he was being courted with one of the biggest and most well-known anime styles. It didn't matter that you didn't tower over him, you were so cute- No, so seductive when you looked up at him with a grin as large as a cat's toothed grin. RIP Idia.

"Idia Shroud..." You started and the young man nodded as he swallowed hard and squeaked, "Y- Yes...?"

"I would like to take you out." You said and Idia blinked. Out? Oh, oh no, he didn't like going out! There were people and extroverts outside the safety of his room, he wasn't ready to go out with a famous Idol like you! People would look! They would look at you and then they would look at him and be jealous and they would talk behind his back..!

"I- I don't really..."

"Or...?" You hummed as if you were thinking but he could tell that you already knew what you were going to say. "We could make some music together...?"

Idia stared at you and when his brains managed to comprehend what you said, his face, tips of his ears, and his bright hair turned absolutely pink. Wh- what did you mean by making music together!? Idia had seen this in some of the ecchi animes he had watched and the thing was that those series usually turned into something extremely naughty.

D- Did you want to do naughty things with him?! You were moving so fast, he couldn't keep up with you and your wants and needs or not yet anyway! G- Give him some time, he promises to become the man you really want!

Idia swallowed and was about turn you down, even if it pained him so much to do so, but you beat him to it.

You went to pick up his violin and you turned to offer the instrument to its owner. Idia was beyond confusion. He looked at his violin and then at you, who smiled, "You played my song to the point! I would like to see how it sounds if I sing and you play?"

"I...!" He swallowed nervously before nodding, "Alright..."

What a relief! Idia sighed out loud. What was he thinking, presuming that you wanted to do something naughty? He was acting stupid, he was not being himself, he was- he was... He was infatuated.

"So...?" You turned to look at Idia. "Which song you would like to play? I suggest "Fell For You" or "He Is A Cutie". I feel like they would be the best fit for this moment?" As soon as the words left your mouth, you winked at Idia and his face flushed hard again.

Wh- what did you mean by those!? Y- You were kidding, right? He admitted that the fans of yours always loved to imagine that you were singing to them especially when the sweet words left your mouth and Idia was no exception. Did you actually believe he was worthy of those songs?

"I do." You said with a smile and Idia was devastated. Had he grumbled out loud again?! Oh ground, please swallow him whole now! You giggled lightly and oh how gorgeous you sounded.

"You're so cute." You nodded before giving him one of those heart-stopping, genuine smiles that always made your fans' and Idia's hearts beat out of their chests, "I really am happy I fell for you."

Idia... He was happy also.

[justice-is-a-weapon]

in vino veritas [dazai x gn reader]

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Prologue / ?

previous / next

TW:mention of a double suicide (Dazais usual shenanigans), alcohol

"So… what's your name? I have never seen you around. A foreigner perhaps?" "You needn't know my name. Unimportant. But yeah I'm not exactly from here. You're right with that one." "See? I'm a genius!" Rolling my eyes I answered: "I don't think it's very hard to find out that I'm not from here due to the fact that I had to ask you to read out the menu for me. Your writing system is confusing." "Touché." I met him on a Friday night. The location of the bar I was currently visiting was near Yokohama Bay. That's where I met him. In the "Three Martini". I didn't know his name nor his age. But I could tell he liked cheap booze. "And you're Japanese I assume?" "How'd you tell?" "The bartender talks to you as if you're a local. So I just assume you are one." "Well that is correct. I'm quite well known" "A nightlife celebrity? So what would your name might be? Because I surely don't know who you are. But I understand how you could become memorable. You really have weird requests. Most people would probably stay as far away from you as possible." "Ouch that hurt. But my offer for a double suicide still stands." That was exactly the request I was talking about. I didn't say no. At least not directly. He looked surprised. I guess that is why he didn't just turn to the next pretty face and repeat his offer. So he stayed. I didn't have much information about him whatsoever. All I knew was that he was possibly broke or just a real cheapskate. I doubt that he can cook. Just an assumption. He looks like the type of guy that (not so) secretly sings to Britney Spears in the bathroom, which can't be all too often because his hair looked pretty greasy even in the dim lighting. He looks like the type of guy that lives in a messy tiny flat. That's the type of guy he is. "You're avoiding the question. What's your name? Or should I just call you 'roach' since you can't seem to die." "So mean. If you want me to tell you, I need something to call you as well." "Ophelia. A teacher once told me I remind her of Ophelia. So call me that." "Dazai. You may call me Dazai." Yep. Never heard of him. I would only later realize just how well known this guy was. "So why are you here Dazai?" "I guess for the same reason as you are. To get drunk I assume." He played with his glass of whiskey for a little bit. That was a lie and I could tell. He didn't even take a sip out of it. I was already on my second beer. "Two shots please" I was intrigued. Maybe he'll open up more with some alcohol in his system. One for me and one for him. He glanced at me, raising his eyebrows and shot glass in hand. As if to accept my challenge. "Shall we do a toast?" "A toast to what?" "To our first meeting" "Our first?" "I have a feeling we'll meet again." "I'm looking forward to it" I like the sound of glass on glass. It was a sound I haven't heard in quite some time. At least not with me being the one who caused it. It felt quite familiar. Dazai. I still tried to figure him out. He was doing the same. It's a game between the two of us now. Let's see who reveals the other first. It was quiet for a second until I spoke up: "Weird question, but do you listen to Britney Spears perhaps?" He did.

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[So I guess here's the Prologue. I'm currently still working on the details of where this story is going to go. I just know that the reader definitely is not as harmless as they seem. I'll explain the reason of not telling dazai their name later on. The question of the ability still remains. So I'm very glad for every comment on that post I can get. I already made myself a Pinterest board for future ideas. For the story's sake the reader is German like myself. I'm going to tell you this much.]

As always I am open for requests and ideas as well as feedback from you guys.

[thomacrumbs]

vincit qui se vincit.

various boys (albedo, diluc, aether, xiao, childe, gorou, kazuha, thoma) x gn! reader. fantasy! au. blurbs, mostly fluff. nouns used: sorcerer (childe) & witch (kazuha) w/ gender neutral pronouns. ♡s & ↻s appreciated!

notes: i brainrotted. i was listening to joy's album while writing this ^^

albedo.

the great alchemist albedo is just a myth, or so people think. cursed to live forever as a spirit bound to a teapot by a witch, he sits, bored out of his mind, on the shelves of a dingy antique shop. until one day, against the warnings of the antique shop owner, who warns of bad luck & misfortune, you purchase the quaint teapot & rescues him from his prison. he clatters menacingly on your countertop, only to be ignored by you for days on end before you finally lift the lid off the teapot, releasing his spirit into the realm of the living (its not as bad as it sounds. he is neither threatening nor scary). he doesn't have the heart to tell the human he's grown quite fond of that he's slowly disappearing.

diluc ragvindr.

the ludi harpstum is a festival of wine & song, celebrating the long history of the city of mondstadt, filled with games & song. this year, it seems like the knights of favonius has gone all out with their preparations, even calling in the famed circus of performers that has travelled every corner of teyvat, wowing people with daring flips mid-air, disappearing limbs & tight-rope on the thinnest of threads. the music & laughter of children is so loud that you could hear it from the windows of the dawn winery. an unwilling diluc is dragged against his will to at least view the once in a lifetime circus act, only to be charmed by the cute magic performer who winks at him from the stage as poker cards fly into the air. suddenly he finds himself going to bed thinking about them and wakes up in cold sweat wanting to talk to them. but, the ludi harpstum is only 15 days, can he catch you before you slip through his fingers?

aether.

yeah. maybe you shouldn't have tried to summon a guardian angel, but to be fair your friend put you up to this. now this blonde biblically inaccurate angel is bound to you by contract, and you have another headache to worry about alongside your minimum wage job, messy apartment and the neighbour from next door who keeps taking your flour. not to mention his constant rambling about his sister who you've unceremoniously torn him away from, and suddenly you're repeating this entire ritual, because you cannot say no to those eyes (and maybe you did want to impress him, what about it?) it didn't work, but he doesn't seem that peeved, especially when he settles on your bed after you've fallen into deep sleep, pressing a kiss to your forehead and affectionally calling you cute. he is your guardian angel, at the end of the day.

xiao.

you're the famed dragon rider in the skies of liyue. the winner of several races, competitions & illustrated celebrity in the devoted dragon owner scene. afterall, you ride the only remaining off-spring of morax, a gift from the emperor himself. you boast that no one else could tame your dragon except for you, and for a long while, this seems true. it blows curling flames at anyone who dares come close & curls it spiked tail protectively around you to ward off any unsavoury people. that is, until an unknown melody that carries over the wind calls your dragon down from the skies, and suddenly you are hurtling through the skies at insane speeds.

childe.

he came to liyue for one reason only (two, actually, but morax is dead now, so no boxing him), to challenge the great sorcerer branded by the archons. he's heard about their miracles from a young age, the ability to call down thunder from the skies, resurrecting the dead, moving the entire earth with a simple flick. the only obstacle in his way is that this sorcerer is near unidentifiable, with not even a name to put to a face. imagine his shock when the very sorcerer saves him from certain death, and he finds out they're not an old man hobbling around with a cane, but a young person around his age. oops can't fight if you're too distracted by how good your opponent looks. damn they look good kicking my ass i should do this more often.

gorou.

his dog has had enough of his single shit, crying into an empty bowl of icecream after watching the notebook, wailing about how he "wishes that were him". the animal whisperer who likes hanging around the local dog park is very surprised when they hear a yapping dog bark that his owner needs a significant other stat, he's desperate and alone, applications open please help my mess of an owner. but hey, you aren't complaining, he's pretty cute, and you find it cute that he tries to stop his tail from wagging whenever he sees you.

kazuha kaedehara.

from a young age, he's heard of the immortal witch that hides in their cottage in the thick of the dark forest nears the borders of inazuma. and nothing stops him from pounding on the door of the run down cottage, not even the animate vines that snap at him and trees that uproot themselves to stop him from advancing further. afterall, an immortal being must know the answer to bringing back someone from the dead, right? he near sobs when they tell him that it's impossible, the dead have to stay dead. he doesn't understand at first, but the witch is kinder than he expected, helping him through the memories, painful & happy. but he doesn't miss the flit of pain behind their eyes whenever he talks about losing someone, afterall, time is cruel to all.

thoma.

thoma thinks he's being seduced. afterall, isn't that what sirens do? sing of a pretty future, the numbers to win the future lottery. even though thoma has never won the lottery with their numbers, he stills himself entranced & walks down to the beach everyday to listen to them talk & sing, sitting on the edge of the rock as cold water clashes with his temperature that naturally runs high. finally, he gets the courage to confront them- he doesn't want to fall in love because of magic, that's not right. only to be met with a confused look, you're a half human half mermaid, not a siren. thoma fucking dies of embarrassment when he realises that he was simply in love all along.

[missinghan]

cold sun ⤖ han jisung

❖ genre : soulmate au; fluff; angst

❖ word count : 2,6k.

❖ warning : slight swearing

❖ summary : in a world where one will lose something if their soulmate doesn’t reciprocate their words of love once they turn sixteen, jisung is willing to take the risk so you won’t have to bear the burden.

❖ note : i just realized how i always tend to write for jisung when i'm down :')) anywho this piece is a little different than what i usually come up with but i hope y'all enjoy it ♡

It’s the first day of the week.

“Hey, Y/N. I like you!”

And Han Jisung is really annoying.

Those words come out so easily. It's casual in a way that makes you bury your red nose deeper into the soft fabric of your scarf, which makes your footsteps quicken unknowingly as his voice chases after you loudly. Either way, this isn’t the first time Jisung has said so. In fact, it’s become a habit for him to remind you every other day.

There’s no particular reason why. Or at least that’s what you think.

It’s the end of the week. Jisung decides to hang himself upside down on your bed while you’re stressing over a presentation. “Hey, Y/N.” A cold winter breeze comes rushing against the perplexing glass of your window, shaking the frame violently before all motions come to silence.

Until, “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,” he creeps up from behind you and chirps into your ear.

“What?” you let out a groan of displease when tempting warmth embraces you whole, prompting you to drop your attention and looking over your shoulder.

Jisung pouts, “You didn’t answer me.”

“It’s because you’re annoying,” you sigh.

“Answer me when I call your name,” he pulls you in a fraction tighter, careful enough not to hurt you but firm to not let you slip away at the same time, and cradles your neck warmly, “So I’d know that you’re still here with me.”

“Alright, stupid.”

The all too familiar gummy smile returns instantly. “Hey, Y/N?”

And you can’t help but roll your eyes. “Yes, Jisung?”

“I like you,” he giggles into the hug, “I like you a lot.”

Han Jisung really is annoying.

He’s annoying because he talks too much. He’s annoying because of how he always asks for your notes after a gaming night with Felix just to nap in class. He’s annoying because he’d drop you in a heartbeat for a single slice of cheesecake from Jeongin’s mom’s bakery. He’s annoying because of how well he can get along with everyone.

Chatty, down-to-earth, easy-going with a lovable smile—attractive, very attractive.

It’s the week after that. “What...happened?”

“He lost his voice,” Jeongin sighs, looking like he genuinely wants to facepalm himself against concrete while walking with an incoherent Jisung to school; expressive hands with his mouth agape and all.

You tilt your head, “...for real?”

“For real.”

After a few seconds of eyeing Jisung struggling with converting what’s in his head, you exhale deeply and quickly rummage through your backpack, “Just stop, you look ridiculous.” And he does just that, zipping his mouth metaphorically and giving you those typical puppy eyes. “Here, use this.”

His eyes light up like stars when you rip off a page from one of your notebooks and offer it to him along with a pen. Truth is, you’re expecting something as predictable as ‘I like you’ or ‘It’s alright it’s just the worst cold I’ve ever caught’. But then, what’s displayed on the piece of paper right now only baffles you.

Park is going to murder you if he sees some uglyass tear in your Ochem notes :)

A forced grin splits your lips open. “Not if I murdered you first and then the entire school and then myself.”

The first genuine smile blossoms on his lips when you give him a mini-sized notepad and pencil the day after—his sixteenth birthday.

And Jisung decides this is it.

It happens when the sun hasn’t even come out yet and the irritating blue light from his phone reads 5:32 AM.

It happens when he sees your reclined figure leaning back against his mattress, his pupils tracing your delicate features. Perplexed emotions fill his eyes to the brim, fulfillment bursting within his chest when you stare right back at him with such purity. So pure that it seems you can do no harm to him and neither can he.

“Hey stupid,” you murmur quietly, shoving a notepad and pencil against his chest, “Happy birthday.”

Jisung gives you a bright smile, opens his mouth, and snaps it close mere moments later. Sixteenth birthday. Early in the morning. Tired grins. The fondness of being so disgustingly in love.

He can’t help but lean in and caves into the taste his soul has longed for as long as he can remember.

Two weeks have passed since Jisung has lost his voice.

Nothing has differed if you’re being completely honest. Han Jisung is still annoying. His lack of ability to speak doesn’t appear to be a problem to him at all. He loves chatting with people even though he’s more of a listener now. But with the small notepad you gave him a few days ago, being socially active is the norm for him even now.

Thanks to his rather short-period experiences of observing people’s expressions and how their features contort in certain ways when they’re feeling certain emotions, Jisung catches onto your mood more quickly during bad days to help you release your inner turmoil by scribbling down something stupid on the notepad. It’s kinda nice like this, you’d think to yourself sometimes.

Other times, you’re more scared that you might have forgotten what his voice sounds like.

“No wonder you got a fucking cold. Stop taking midnight showers already.”

You wave Jisung over when he closes the wooden door to your bedroom, droplets dripping from his hair as he scratches his stomach tiredly. His hair is a mess when he lazily crawls onto your bed, the cushion beside you dips slightly.

His index finger pointing at his post-shower head and a shit-eating grin are all you need to snatch the white towel around his neck.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” you mumble while rubbing the cotton fabric into his hair, “But you’re awfully upbeat for someone who’s lost their voice. Can’t you at least pretend to be sad about it?”

A noise of protest escapes his throat like second nature as your eyes carefully read the quick movements of his mouth. “And can you not be so mean to someone who’s lost their voice?”

A faint smirk creeps its way up to your lips. “Still like me now?”

Jisung thinks hard for a few moments before jumping out of bed to snatch his notepad from your studying area. Of course, I like you. I like you a lot. Your heartbeat momentarily spikes at his scrawny handwriting. Just when your gaze is averted away to cool the blush on your cheeks, he tugs at your sleeve again and points at a different mess of scribbles. You’re more gentle when I’m like this. And you’d always find me if I ever got into trouble. What’s there for me to be sad about?

“Annoying little shit,” you swallow your pride and let him settle his head against your chest.

His presence melts into yours during the hardest hours of the twenty-four, heartbeats on heartbeats and warmth on warmth. Your one regret is that you’re unable to register his tears that night, only the incoherent, breathless hiccups almost as to desperately call out your name.

It’s been a month since Jisung’s lost his voice. And the night when he kisses you for the second time, his notepad is long forgotten next to your pillow.

I-can’t-talk. Give-me-a-break.

Jeongin. Cheesecake. Please? Pretty please?

I’ll fucking kick you.

Wait, there’s homework?!

...so you’re telling me LMAO isn’t how French people laugh?

“This is what you’ve been doing during breaks huh…” you mumble under your breath while lazily flipping through the papers. The occasional ‘I like you’-s do pop up every two pages or so, which is more than enough to make you smile like an idiot. But that is until a peculiar paragraph yanks your attention by its neck and tosses it against a brick wall.

Mom, promise me you’re not going to cry.

He made auntie cry?!

I lost my voice for real now but it wasn’t supposed to be like that at first. I just wanted to mess with Y/N and freak her out for a day.

I’m seriously going to punch him.

She was a lot softer toward me after that, you know. I know it’s extremely selfish of me but I just can’t help being so happy. I’m sorry, mom. I really am.

Han Jisung you fucking idiot.

I was going to surprise her on my birthday by saying ‘good morning’ out loud but nothing came out. My voice was gone.

Guilt, anger, remorse take over you. You knew nothing of this. You never once questioned for a logical reason behind the loss of his voice and kept moving onward as if it’s not that big of a deal. You didn’t suspect it as a kind of prank, either. But you still care, all this time! You have been doing everything in your power as a way for both you and Jisung to treasure himself even if he can’t speak anymore.

I went to a check-up last week. Nothing came up. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.

However, without fail, the obnoxious part of you will keep wandering back to the concept of soulmates that has been engraved so deeply into the society you’re living in. It makes no sense to you that Jisung lost his voice for no reason right before his sixteenth birthday. This explains it all now.

It’s going to be okay, mom. Because I have Y/N. I know she would come running toward my side over and over again even if she can’t hear me anymore. I really don’t know what I’d do without her in my life.

Jisung knew the penalty for being the first to exchange any words of love yet he still did it. And you were too busy overlooking that stupid pride of yours to say those three words back.

It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to forget what I used to sound like. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.

Jisung fixes the strap of his backpack, looking up at his mom after slipping into his sneakers. She ruffles his bed head and hands him a small white box with Jeongin’s bakery’s signature logo on it.

He tilts his head in faint confusion, peering at the box of pastry in his arms.

“Give it to Y/N on the bus, okay? Her parents aren’t home right now. You know how she would always skip breakfast when they’re out of town.”

His eyes light up instantly in realization and Jisung nods, preparing to bid her farewell. Just then, his front door comes flying open. It can’t be a mere acquaintance because there are very few people other than his parents and himself who know of the spare key hidden under the welcome mat.

As Jisung turns around, he’s keenly aware of your teary eyes already trained on him. Which in hindsight, makes no sense. As a result, panic rises within the hollowness of his chest, his lips falling agape but no coherent words come out.

“Y/N, sweetheart,” his mom flinches, slightly caught off guard, “Is everything okay?”

A scowl stretches over your contorted features as you shut the door loudly. “What the hell is this?” you question, shoving the familiar notepad into his chest. “A prank? A prank?! Do you think that this is funny?”

Jisung’s frantic eyes move to read the paper and every single color on his face drains tremendously. He easily recognizes the peculiar paragraph by how much lighter the ink is compared to the rest of the messy lines because his pen was running low and his hand couldn’t stop shaking.

Your voice.

His eyes avert back to look at you. His brows furrow timidly and shaky breaths burst from his lips almost like a desperate cry for help. There’s too much he wants to say, too many things to explain, and too many questions running through his head that he can’t process what to do next. He might just overwhelm both you and himself.

I need to hear it again.

And you might not stay by his side this time.

“Okay, don’t answer me then, I guess,” you chuckle lowly, dipping your head and turning around.

Jisung grabs at your sleeve instinctively and drops the pastry box, his gaze empty and all too knowing. Sorrow glazes over his starry eyes when it starts becoming hard to breathe properly. The outlines of his lips are moving non-stop yet nothing comes following after that.

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” you rasp out and tug at his hand. Then it hits you. He’s like this because of you. Jisung lost his voice because of you.

His mom cuts into the conversation, “Y/N, you don’t understand!”

“I’m sorry, auntie,” you smile sadly and take off running into the streets.

You, in the midst of your self-loathing and guilt, allow your feet to go wherever they want as your vision spirals into a blur. A single droplet threatens to fall when a forceful hand yanks you back to reality.

It takes Jisung a moment to regain his regular breathing pace. And when he finally gets it, all he can do is call out to you with the same inaudible sounds and the same desperation in his eyes. It seems as though he’s fully aware that the prank was the stupidest, most irrational thing he’s ever done. But there’s more to the ocean within his eyes than just remorse.

“I already told you,” you clench your jaw and slap his hand away, “I don’t fucking know what you’re saying!”

A deep sigh. “Why am I mad? Of course, I’d be mad! It’s because of me that you lost your voice! It’s because I like you, too! Yet I never said it back… You lost your voice because of me! Don't you get it? Why can't you just hate me for the sake of it?!”

You miss his voice. You miss it a lot.

You want to hear it again. You want to hear him call you by your name. You want to stay up late and talk about anything to the ends of the Earth and back with him. You want him to be the obnoxious, chatty Han Jisung you've always known.

You miss how annoyingly loud he is.

“Y-Y...Y/N…!”

Jisung collapses onto his knees, a hand on concrete while the other is on his neck. His chest rises and falls unevenly, muffled noises of discomfort echoing deep down from his throat. Despite that, what you heard just now, is his voice.

“Answer me when I call your name. So I’d know that you’re still here with me.”

“I promised you, didn’t I,” you spread your arms and smile warmly, “That I’d always answer when you call my name. As long as I can still hear you, I will come running toward you over and over again. Doesn’t matter what it takes, doesn’t matter where you are.”

Jisung lifts his head and tears come rolling down on his cheeks. His throat feels swollen when he stutters with difficulties, trying to convey what’s in his head, “Y-Y/N, don’t- don’t go! Please don’t leave me...!”

“Come here,” you close your eyes with the widest grin on your lips, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Only when Jisung grows closer and throws his arms around you, sobbing into your uniform do you convince yourself that all of this isn’t a hallucination. The hug is a lot stronger than what you’d expect. First of all, you nearly fell over from the impact and your arms are pinned so tightly to your sides that you feel like your ribs are going to snap.

Everything is so overwhelming that all you can say is, “Ow.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles into your hair and loosens his arms a bit so you can loop your hands to the nape of his neck and hair.

“You’re so annoying, Han Jisung.”

He purses his lips, sniffling, “You tried to make me snap on purpose. Meanie.”

You quirk a playful brow, “Still like me now?”

“Yeah,” Jisung smiles, “A lot.”

Because he knows that he has you. Until every last star in the galaxy explodes as a supernova, Jisung has you.