#how deep does the rabbithole go

[runedscope]

Funny when i see like a second level of discourse, discourse about a specific type of discourse and its like i have no idea what the fuck you're talking about

[thegreatyin]

https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/lets-watch-rwby.43058/

this is probably the best way to realize what the fuck is wrong with RWBY without torturing yourself by watching it

okay but consider. i kinda wanna watch it now.

[wizardlyghost]

watching that hbomberguy video that y'all're talking about and uh. what the fuck.

[tales-from-thornvale]

i am so deep in this rabbithole (send help)

(there's a poll at the end i am just losing so many marbles atm)

hello couriers! i am currently transcribing the tales from thornvale episodes (that is a whole separate post, i can be So Normal about courier's call) and in The Seals And Inks Of The Courier Service, grandpa swiftwell himself tells us that the Seal of Favour is something "only given out to those who have helped the Courier Service in their time of need". He then goes on to say he has seen passengers "come aboard an Audron and make their way to Thornvale at the behest of those that carry a seal of favour",,

i.e. if you do the Courier Service one hell of a solid you can ask for favours like passage on ships.

NOW. You may be familiar with Big Sister Skyjacks and our beloved Uhuru crew, famous for taking aboard orphans, teaching them trades and then dropping them off at other ports. We see this happen in episode 38 in Burza Nyth, when Spit takes Bootstrap to go "talk about friends" in port to find him another trade. Cut to the Captain's choosing ceremony at the start of Courier's Call season one, and lo and behold, Bootstrap has made his way to Thornvale.

How, you may ask? Well, from our Grey Audron Tales we know that the Information Desk in Burza Nyth is one of the Grey Audron's "respected and proven clients", which hints that Burza Nyth is probably on the Grey's route. Bringing me all the way back round to my original point. Because Spit took Bootstrap to find somewhere else to go. And passage can be given to Thornvale upon the presentation of a seal of favour. Thornvale, a town which is famously impossible to find on your own and who's location is presumably a closed guarded secret.

So. Does Spit have a Seal of Favour with the Swiftwell Courier Service. Please send thoughts I am rotating this concept at the speed of sound.

If he does: WHY. HOW. WHY.

I present to you: The Poll

[servospawn]

i've noticed a bit of discourse over the span of me being back here about peer recognition &what that does to a person's mental on socials.

idk if it's because of my inactivity or because i've just been on tumblr for 10+ years but it really puzzles me when i see someone fretting over the amount of notes and/or social engagement their posts seem to lack. of course we as humans love peer recognition &validation but i'd hate to think that's all some people care to focus on when it comes to their blogs.

i think we all should be posting whatever we want without trying to calculate how many notes we'll receive on any one single post because that's setting yourself up for disappointment. if you're a simblr.. i'd like to assume you came here because you enjoy playing your game, creating content or using it as a creative outlet to express your form of individuality.. the notes in this case should sort of act as a bonus.

people have lost their heads.. ranting in txt posts about their content "flopping" or feeling like they don't belong here.. &it's just like.. take a deep breath.. it's okay.. you'll survive. also idk what flopping is when it comes to simblr, because.. if i get anywhere between 10-100 notes from loyal followers that have engaged with me from day 1, can recognize my OCs &are genuinely paying attention to what's going on (because they care that much).. that's a hell of a lot more rewarding to me than amassing 500-1k notes because a popular simblr randomly decided to reblog me that day.

please learn to love your game, your blogs, your cc & yourself. because what's the point of notes if you're not even genuinely happy with your game in the first place? you'll continue to have unrealistic expectations &end up in that rabbithole of forcing yourself to do tzrs, spam liking &reblogging others just to get that in return &trust me it comes off super fake &people will notice that too.

[vickyvicarious]

seeing ppl go "lol jonathan why are you admitting you found them hot what will mina think of you when she reads it!!!" has me go "*shakes you* you are going against the thesis of the book!!!"

I know some of why is dependent on knowledge of future events, and so people new to Dracula Daily won't be aware of it. But to be honest, Jonathan admitting his attraction to the vampire ladies is so, so important to me. On several different character levels, even outside of the entire book proving over and over again that sharing knowledge is absolutely vital (and is also an expression of deep love/trust/support).

Let's just stick the quote in here for reference:

There was something about them that made me uneasy, some longing and at the same time some deadly fear. I felt in my heart a wicked, burning desire that they would kiss me with those red lips. It is not good to note this down, lest some day it should meet Mina's eyes and cause her pain; but it is the truth.

Firstly - he needs to keep an accurate record. This is his only place to speak freely, his only opportunity to be precise about what he is going through. It is vitally important for him to keep his sanity intact that he be clear and try to remain logical in this diary. We see him fact-checking again and again. We can extrapolate from other statements that he doesn't always mention everything he suspects unless he feels it relevant or possible to prove. For example, repeatedly noting Dracula himself doing things before ever getting around to voicing the theory that the Count has no servants (he collected evidence first, didn't speak his suspicions until they were proven). Or putting the crucifix above his bed and taking the opportunity to sleep elsewhere, thus pointing to feeling unsafe and possibly experiencing bad dreams in his own room (he mentioned what he does about it, but not the feeling on its own or whatever nightmares he may be having). Jonathan works very hard to keep his diary focused on a few things above all: what the Count/ladies are, what everyone does, what Jonathan observes or learns, his actionable plans. He of course expresses his fears and emotions at times in his diary, more than he can out loud, but never going all the way down the rabbithole of fear, hopelessness, etc. He tries to calm himself by sticking to facts (all the harder when something strange is happening), which is in itself a soothing process for him so that's helpful too. His goal is to make this diary useful to himself and to others, if he ever gets the chance to share it. There is a goal here.

And what that means, is that the things Jonathan writes in great detail are things that feel relevant to him. The entire encounter with the vampire ladies was extremely important. It revealed a ton of new information to him, as well as being a truly horrifying and traumatic thing to go through. Jonathan's feelings are as relevant as his observations/actions here, because both are directly affected by the presence of the vampire women. Jonathan can't move. He feels dreamy. He feels attracted to them. He cannot resist and in the moment a large part of him didn't even want to. These are all effects they are causing, at least to some extent. I know mileage can vary a lot on how much of Jonathan's attraction is just coming from him, but honestly, I can't agree with any version that doesn't have a natural attraction at the very least being exacerbated by supernatural vampire abilities somehow. If not caused or called forth by them in the first place. The way he narrates, with so much obvious fear and revulsion mixed in with the desire, makes that clear to me. He sounds like he doesn't fully understand his own feelings at the time, at least where they all came from or why they were so strong. It goes along with all the other symptoms he is experiencing, and the other abilities they demonstrate. And so, to keep his record accurate - it has to go in. He cannot leave it out. It might become very relevant later.

Secondly - Jonathan is honest with Mina, specifically. I love this about their relationship. I don't think it's so much 'I noticed they were attractive' that he fears might hurt her, because Mina isn't particularly shy herself about noticing both women and men as good-looking, and even admiring their looks while on a date with Jonathan (poor Pretty Girl in Piccadilly). He also called local women pretty in his first entry as well (though he did say "except when you got near them" so it felt a bit backhanded to me), so again it's not the noticing that's an issue either way. It's more that he felt actual desire to act on an attraction, or rather for them to act. This is unusual, this is a separate matter from noticing people are hot, this is something that comes much closer to cheating or at least wanting to, and he feels very guilty about it. There's no real sense that he is worried Mina will be angry at him, and there's no sense that he will ever outside of that one moment ever want to act on any attraction he feels for someone other than Mina (or someone Mina also approves of, varying depending on your polycula headcanons). I personally do kind of tend to view Jonathan as some form of demisexual so how much he even tends to feel attraction to other people is often a little wibbly to me, but that's kind of irrelevant for the point of this. We can also set aside the shared language of "kiss" between Jonathan and the vampire ladies, and how this may point to a desire to become available for being drunk from, rather than necessarily sexual desire specifically, even if that's the type of language used. With regards to Mina: he's not worried about being caught, because he is choosing not to hide. He feels bad talking about the attraction because it might hurt her feelings, but he'll admit to it regardless because it's more important to him to be honest with her. Jonathan hates hiding things from Mina. This actually becomes plot-relevant later on. Even when she herself expressly forbids him from telling her stuff, he feels anguished about it and is certain to ensure that records are kept which she can read later. He trusts her completely. Embarrassment, shame, bad behavior, or whatever else - he will still share that with her. The only times he doesn't confide in Mina are when he's trying to repress everything because he thinks he was crazy (and possibly may even have some PTSD-related memory loss as well), or when he and the other men are trying to make sure she isn't exposed to danger (which is wrong in several ways but this post isn't about that so I won't get into it), and of course when she tells him not to. Every single time he feels upset about it. So yeah, he's going to regret that she may feel hurt, but deliberately hiding things from her would be worse.

Thirdly - Jonathan admitting his attraction here is a huge comfort to Mina later on. I truly believe this. I've talked about it before actually, but let me try to rephrase a bit to keep it on the same post. By being open about his own attraction and experience with nearly being drunk from, he provides precedent for Mina's October 3rd trauma. It makes it easier (though obviously still not easy) for her to admit to the same kind of desire:

"I was bewildered, and, strangely enough, I did not want to hinder him. I suppose it is a part of the horrible curse that such is, when his touch is on his victim."

Mina never blamed Jonathan for expressing such thoughts. She wasn't concerned about the issue being another woman when she came to him in the hospital, and when she read his diary she never mentioned any hesitations or misgivings about this scene at all. But even if she had secretly felt upset before (I personally don't see her thinking that way at all, but for the sake of argument), I think that experiencing something similar would make her grateful for Jonathan's candor. In a moment when she's already feeling deeply unclean and complicit, Jonathan's earlier honesty here relieves her from a little bit of the guilt she is feeling. It lets her recognize her own lack of desire to stop Dracula as something he did to her, just like Jonathan experienced with the vampire ladies when he couldn't/didn't want to move away. It's possible even that Mina felt more explicit desire for Dracula's 'red lips to kiss her' but didn't feel comfortable saying quite that much - even if so, again Jonathan's account would be a comfort.

And having that account written down long ago means she has already internalized this. If Jonathan had kept it hidden only to try and ease her mind later, well... first off, Mina too might have kept her reaction hidden out of guilt. And even if she didn't or he told her then, a confession at that time wouldn't mean nearly as much or carry the same kind of weight, I don't think. It would feel like he's making excuses for her, like he didn't trust her enough to tell her earlier, just... bad stuff mixed in, which are all avoided by having Jonathan be truthful from the start.

[phoenixtakaramono]

OPERATION BABYLON - PART VI

aka the butchlander sugar baby AU.

We have the first reader interactive poll for this threadfic! I recommend reading the update to the end (with a detailed breakdown of each choice) before making your decision.

Tumblr Navigation (note I have not shared the prologue here with its premise setup; I’ve only started sharing this twitter threadfic on tumblr starting from the 2nd 🔞 scene): I | II | III | IV | V | VI

Update Schedule: weekly/ biweekly

(You can read the rest of the threadfic update here!)

Keep in mind, all of my AU Butchlander threadfics on Twitter are the unpolished first draft versions of what’ll eventually be polished up into long fics on AO3 under the Shock and Awe series. So you may regard this threadfic as an experimental first prototype and exclusive preview whose contents may or may not be changed in the future final draft version. We’re just loosely playing around with ideas and concepts for now!

If you don’t have a Twitter account, screenshots are provided below the line break so you can read this update on Tumblr as well:

A more-in-depth breakdown of the choices:

A) Tell the truth. To avoid suspicion, Billy lays low and comes up with an excuse that he's booked for the whole day plays hard to get. It'll lead to Homelander running into "William out on a date" with another Supe—and a jealous Homelander running interference lol and sabotaging it, potentially leading to a "private tour" at The Seven meeting room and some 🔞 inappropriate office s*x ;) the setting depends if I decide to have it as a Vought HQ gala event or a Capes for Christ baptism

The payoff: a lead into the investigation The con: Billy's relationship with one of his long-time regulars is irreversibly damaged (it'll come bite him in the arse much later in the threadfic)

B) Homelander wants to be his sugar daddy. So Billy wants to test that and see if he can get our caped crusader to unknowingly fund his little CIA operation by exaggerating his rent and monthly overhead costs to tug at the hero's supposed generous philanthropist heartstrings. It'll lead to the sugar baby/daddy relationship being developed more aka a lil à la Pretty Woman-styled "shopping spree" with Homelander raining gifts on Billy's head say bye bye to Billy's CIA-assigned base, potentially leading to a 🔞 scene for "William to show him his gratitude"

The payoff: a bigger base and money for a more in-depth investigation The con: Homelander will lowkey stalk monitor him, so it'll be harder to keep his covert activities a secret from him or sneak out

C) The cute "Waiting for you :)" type of option. Billy doubles down on the act and reforms himself into Homelander's dream lover. It's tooth-rotting romantic fluff and flirty back-and-forth banter between them, but keep in mind what'll happen when Homelander inevitably realizes the "William who's literally almost perfect in every way and is too good to be true" isn't actually real much much much later as a direct consequence of this early choice.

The payoff: a happy Homelander (speedrun gaining his trust and affection by taking our bbg on dates <3) The con: the future fallout (and reconciliation) will be much more dramatic

Choose your poison! You can also vote on Twitter (link to the poll). I will add the final results together, and we’ll see which story route comes out on top.

A/N: A bit of Billy’s POV as we begin to pull back the curtains. How deep does this rabbithole of deception go? Far. Very far. Did y'all see the twist with Popclaw? Didn't expect that, did ya?

I am, by the way, open to ⚠️🔞 reader suggestions~. I make no promises that I’ll write it, but this threadfic is meant as a shameless excuse to write 🔞 butchlander spice, haha, and provide y’all some content during our butchlander drought. I have one reader suggestion thus far, and it involves candle wax. 🕯️

[caelum-in-the-avatarverse]

ive been a fan of ATLA since it came out, and I think I stopped reading fic for it once Korra came out. So (luckily?), I escaped Embers, but im curious to know what is its influence in fanon. Do you know any examples off the top of your head?

Whoa, that's impressive that you managed to skip it if you've been a fan that long. It started in 2009.

And yeah, I do. Admittedly I do not read ATLA fic often these days, so I'm probably behind on current trends. But if you know what you're looking at it's pretty obvious that lots of Zuko-focused fic is influenced by Embers. Granted, oftentimes the writer may not realize they were influenced by Embers--they may have been inspired by a fic that was inspired by a fic that was inspired by Embers. The fic is 14 years old, and the rabbithole runs deep.

So the effects Embers has had, off the top of my head:

The Wani. Zuko's ship does not have a canonical name, but so many writers have used Vathara's name for it that people are surprised when they learn it's not canon. Even I'm guilty of this one, it's such deeply-entrenched fanon that I figured I might as well use it in a throwaway line (tho I'm seriously considering going in and editing it out of the one fic I mentioned it in).

Dragon!Zuko. If Zuko or Fire Nation people are turning into dragons, that idea probably came from Embers; I don't recall ever seeing that trope in ATLA fic before Embers made it a thing.

Certain Aang-critical readings of canon. There are multiple ways people criticize Aang (fans have complained about him not killing Ozai since the finale aired, and shippers have their own gripes), but there are certain arguments that either originated with Embers or were popularized by it. The concept of "Aang told Zuko he'd come with him if he left the SWT alone, then Aang escaped, therefore he broke his word and lied and he's lucky Zuko is such a good person that he didn't turn around and burn the village to the ground because he totally would've been within his rights to do so" is an Embers original. Then there's the "Aang has totally killed people and is therefore a hypocrite and/or idiot who doesn't realize he kills people" criticism, which may have existed before Embers brought it up, but Embers definitely popularized it. (Canonically Aang has done things that would definitely result in people dying, but also canonically we never saw the bodies so the narrative didn't confirm or even acknowledge it, therefore there's plenty of room to interpret Aang's kill count and still be canon-compliant. I'll admit this is a pedantic argument if everyone else admits that some fans are overeager to give Aang a kill count and call him an idiotic mass murderer, especially when they point at the Siege of the North, where the only people he would've killed were enemy combatants). And apparently now there are stories where Zuko is very knowledgeable about Air Nomad culture and teaches Aang about it, or preaches to him about patience or maturity or morality--I reblogged a post about this recently. That entire mentality definitely came from Embers.

Hyper-competent Zuko. This is not solely Embers's doing, but let me explain. Zuko is the fandom's favorite, we love him, he ticks off a lot of boxes people love to see in a character. It is perfectly normal for a fandom to heap all sorts of awesomeness on their fave, and in fanon they become a super-competent badass who puts up with so much and fights so hard despite the odds, they are knowledgeable and intelligent and strategic, they are confident and compassionate and have iron-clad morals. (am I still describing Zuko or Obi-Wan Kenobi? lol) So this version of Zuko probably would've become a thing eventually; Embers was just the starting point. But things have to start somewhere, and in this case, it started with Embers showing off just how to make Zuko a hyper-competent badass. And Zuko is indeed a badass, but canon gave no indication that he'd actually be good at, like, politics, aside from the narrative implying it by saying he was the best person to become Fire Lord. There are takes on Zuko where he's politically astute, spiritually attuned, brilliantly strategic, extremely knowledgeable about all sorts of random things--none of which have much basis in canon, but they aren't necessarily contradicted by canon either. And again, this is just regular fandom behavior--but in the ATLA fandom these takes were sparked by Embers basically laying the foundation and creating the template for how to write Zuko.

Well-researched fic. Like the previous point, this is not solely Embers's doing. Researching stuff for fanfic has been a thing since forever. But Embers was huge, and Vathara talked a lot about the things she knew and the books she'd read, and people were very impressed and praised her for it, and it inspired them to do and show their own research for their fics, too. Unlike the other things on this list, this actually isn't something that annoys me--even I was inspired by this aspect of Embers, in conjunction with the racebending movement and cultural misappropriation criticism, to make research an important part of my own fic. I'd looked up information for my writing before, but Embers really showed how research could make a fic incredible. And frankly, I'm glad for it, because looking up stuff for my fics has proven to be a fun and rewarding pastime, and I love sharing my research with my own readers (tho I really hope my own author's notes aren't as condescending as Vathara's). Now, granted, given some of the opinions in her author's notes and things she's said elsewhere, I consider all of Vathara's information and reading recommendations to be suspect. But I'm glad it's inspired other people to do lots of great research and share it.

And that's all I can think of, off the top of my head. I'm sure there's more, but I haven't read Embers in years, and I don't read much ATLA fic in general these days, so if there's more I'm unaware. If anyone else can think of anything, please do chime in!

[moresrush]

Good evening I'm back again because I had a small thought, because I am haunted by visions and I just need to talk about them kissing.

Rather ... I need to talk about affection. I need to talk about Temenos seeing Partitio without his gloves for the first time, I need to talk about how he is more than a little obsessed with them. Temenos' hands are soft??? In my brain??? Like. He takes great care of them. He enjoys soaps and lotions that keep his skin healthy and avoids wear and tear easily by being a cleric whereas Partitio ... his hands are a bit of a mess. There are so many scars. And I just???

"Ah." A sound that Partitio is starting to get used to now, one that warns him that the cleric is deep into his serious thinking --- the sort that gets him going like a dog after a bone. Back straightening, his dark eyes find Temenos and follow his gaze down to his where his bare hands are being held in his, and he waits to see just where his traveling compainion's thoughts have his tone so ... gentle. Given the bruising over knuckles, he expects a comment about telling Temenos a little sooner when they are this sore, but instead Temenos nods knowingly and adds, "The mines."

"Mmn." One of the smaller noises that Partitio is capable of, agreeing and understanding all in one. This is about the scars, now. This has less to do with bruising and a possible broken knuckle and more about things that happened before. A silence falls between them as Partitio waits and the other man keeps thinking. When the light of healing magic suddenly illuminates between them --- and that familiar cooling sensation not unlike mint takes over the areas mended --- Partitio huffs out a small frustrated noise. "Y'didn't---."

But Temenos' voice interrupts him, cool and calm and still thoughtful. His own hand is slow to move, but fingertips brush over a scar on the outside of one of Partitio's.

"Not this one, though. This is a defensive wound, healed poorly over time."

The tips of Partitio's ears redden, some, but he nods. Asking Temenos how he knows things is usually a very insightful rabbithole to jump down --- but the merchant answers and manages to sound only slightly distracted as he dodges that temptation.

"Technically still the mines, but uh--- that's from one of the tussles with Giff's little weasels. You shoulda seen this guy. He was a new hire, I think --- someone from outta the Wildlands, and he felt like some kinda assassin. They weren't payin' him enough. I wonder how he's fairin', now."

Temenos chuckles and steps closer.

"Why am I not surprised?" Hands still together, knowing little smile, head tipped expectantly. Partitio struggles with how much he wants to just kiss him.

So he does.

[lostplotbunniesbg3]

Mephistopheles x tav/reader & Raphael x tav/reader (no incest, just shitty dad stealing his kids obsession)

The idea:

Mephistopheles finds out about how Tav/reader is the one to convince astarion to end the profane ascension ritual, basically stealing 7 THOUSAND souls from him... He's not pleased. So, he steals tav and keeps them as a "pet" (how that is done I'd up to you guys 👀) after the whole elderbrain thing is done because he's annoyed and it's an effective punishment.

Raphael is PISSED. Tav was supposed to be HIS. Not only does his dad take the crown, but ALSO his new obsession. So, he starts getting pissy and goes to Cania to demand tav be given to him instead. Of course, Mephistopheles looks at the Cambion with the most deadpan of deadpans and tells him to fuck off.

Tav, is honestly not happy to be with either devil, but they'd choose the overly ambitious Cambion over the SECOND MOST POWERFUL ARCHDEVIL anyday. So, they end up doing anything to assist Raphael in his endeavor of stealing them back.

Two endings (or your own interpretation!)

Raphael wins!!! He successfully steals back Tav. Leaving Mephistopheles proud enough to let it slide.

Or

Mephistopheles wins... and successfly coerces tav into a contract, (where they won't turn into a lemure...) and raphael is forced to watch while looking like a sad soggy seal :(

A Heist Bunny, With Tav As A Treasure?! Raphael/Tav vs Mephistopheles/Tav

An Arch-devilish suggestion with this plot bunny, pitting fiend against fiend, father against son, fighting over Tav (or a reader) as the prize? Between a Hell and a Hot Place (like rock and a hard place? No?...), an intrepid adventurer finds themselves in quite the tricky situation.

Plenty to toy with here with some pet play kink, a little dubcon flavour here with captivity and its implications if you're looking at the more kinky angle of the pet part, so do remember to add in your CWs if you take this one on.

There is more to examine here from Raphael's feelings too. It could be a simple case of a possession, or perhaps he cares a little more than he means to? Sometimes it takes losing a thing to realise how much one valued it, after all...

So, would you like to take on a battle of the fiends, with Tav/reader as their trophy? Adopt this devilish little bunny to see how deep into the hells the rabbithole might go...

[theic-manic]

Hello! I'm a hellenic pagan (not reconstructionist) that works with Hades, Nyx, and Hermes.

I've been wanting to add Prometheus to my practice, as he seems to only want the best for mankind since, if i recall correctly, he helped MAKE mankind.

If I work with him, would that be offensive to the other gods I work with? Would I ever be able to work with Zeus? I get confused at the ins and outs. I've been practicing less than a year I think.

Also, I've only read of Prometheus in my copy of the Theogony & Works and Days. Is there any other canon literature that features him?

Hey there.

Sorry for the delay, spam asks clogged up my inbox.

Tldr: it's hard to offend a god as a worshipper or someone who works with the gods, as opposed to a devotee or clergy.

I would suggest not working with more than one or two deities at a time, especially when you're starting out.

The deities you work with at a time may change, sure, but I've personally found it most effective to work with a couple at most simultaneously, so I'm

1. Not pushing myself too much

2. not diluting my worship since I only have so many hours in the day.

Now with this, although it's hard for non-clergy and non-devotees to "offend" deities (it requires a deep and personal relationship and even then you need to work spectacularly hard to piss off a GOD unless said god has history of having a bit of a hair trigger personality which is why we must READ THE MYTHS/STORIES of deity interactions with humanity) I would also recommend not mixing deity types on shrines.

E.g. Ouranic and Cthonic deities have different offering and worship practices, this is your cue to read how the deities were worshipped collectively and privately (in homes) and work with the gods accordingly.

You can certainly worship both but it's best (and easier) to have separate altars and/or shrines.

One polytheist compared not researching the gods and their practices to not knowing if your friends have dietary requirements.

Imagine offering your close friend a nicely cooked steak dinner only to have them point out that they're vegetarian?

I'd feel awful, and now I have a steak dinner that I have spent time and effort on potentially going to waste.

As for canonical works, I prefer that people try to fine tune their research skills themselves rather than relying on others who aren't clergy or elders to hand-hold since I have come across many insights via rabbithole that wouldn't have been obtained had someone just given me a reading list.

Ultimately, as a worshipper, the worst you'll do (from my UPG experience and from reading the experiences of others) is cause a god to go off and no longer work with you since that you're clearly not a good fit.

Which isn't a bad thing by the way, this often happens during times of great spiritual growth but can also happen when we simply don't respect a deity enough to do the bare minimum to maintain Kharis and/or honour their preferences.

Which brings my question to the bulk of baby polytheists on tumblr:

What does "offending" or upsetting a pagan deity even mean to you all?

/ gen

Like, what consequences (for lack of a better term) are you actually expecting from somehow being important enough to affect a deity in such a way?

Because from what I noticed, those who are capable of having such an impact, devotees and clergy, have done enough research and study to not easily do that.*

*Unless you're like me and just have had certain deities not quite understand the concept of boundaries, of which I have posted extensively about, then absolutely pull the plug on that devotional relationship if you can't come to an amicable compromise.

But as with everything on the internet, this is just my take and I invite anyone reading this to go and read, read and read some more.

Read widely (books and articles), watch documentaries (YouTube is a starting point) and work on your Polytheistic practice without needing external validation from internet strangers.

Certainly, engage in discourse and even some debate, but ultimately, your practice is between you, your higher self, and the divine.

[bluegekk0]

Bit of a ramble about something that's been on a mind for a while, about HK and the AU. Not really a vent, but just wanted to talk about it. It's pretty long so I'll hide it.

My relationship with HK these days is a bit complicated, to be honest. I absolutely adore the game, I get this warm feeling every time I hear the soundtrack and I still get the itch to replay it from time to time. It's a work for art and I'm so, so grateful I played it, even if I was quite late to the party all things considered.

But I can't deny that I fell into the rabbithole of having too many headcanons where I can't engage with other people to the extent I perhaps used to. I don't like many of the popular characters nearly as much as the fandom does, and those that are close to my heart I interpret in a way that speaks to me, but one that feels very distant to how other people view them.

It has some downsides. I avoid looking up HK fanart and I'm slowly starting to dislike getting posts about it recommended to me in the For You tab a little bit. Not because the art is bad, far from it, there are incredible artists and other members of this community that deserve all the love in the world. It's just that it keeps reminding me that my interpretations are so personal, and headcanons that go against them almost feel like mischaracterization, as ridiculous as it sounds. Some interpretations end up upsetting me more than I'd like, too. Some of it is misinterpretations that annoy me, but some are just things I personally don't agree with.

But part of me makes me think that it's my fault somehow. I can't quite explain it, I think this is somehow rooted in my self-esteem issues. I often fear that I don't belong, that I'm doing something wrong by not following the general fanon, that my AU feels like an insult against the canon because of how derived and self-indulgent it is. I didn't have that problem before, not to this extent, but as my mental health got worse over the months, it makes sense that something like this would also start to make itself known. Or at least it makes sense to me.

So deep down I'm torn. On one hand, I get weirdly protective over my interpretations and it's gone to the point where I struggle to separate them from the versions other people talk about. On the other, I'm starting to feel guilty that my AU versions are so different that they might upset some people.

I had some moments where I considered turning them into OCs. But every time I I think about that, I reach the conclusion that no, I don't want to do that. I love them the way they are, despite their designs evolving with time, I wouldn't want to change anything about them, let alone turn them into different characters. And it's not like I'm really changing the character from the canon. Some details are different, but it's also easy to forget that we don't really know much about a lot of these characters, so in many ways I'm just filling the blanks and writing the story around it. Not to mention, adapting canon in ways that I find personally engaging is one of my favorite things about the worldbuilding and lore of the AU. And then there's all the engagement from people who like the AU and want to learn more that is genuinely the main reason why it's as expansive as it is. I don't think I would've stuck around making art for it for this long if I was doing it for myself only.

But it's not just art, knowing that people care, and getting all the interesting ideas I haven't considered inspires me to expand the world of the AU even further, I think about it in my spare time, of all the ways I could develop the world, I still get random ideas for it that I eventually want to include, I read about something in the game's lore and I immediately think of the way I could adapt it into my AU. It became a personal project that I find comfort in, and changing it would just feel wrong. And I know how my brain works (well, at least I think I do), I know I wouldn't remain as invested if I were by myself, I need to share it with other people. And I doubt they would be as interested if it wasn't for the connection to HK. I think that's natural and to be expected.

So all that leaves me in a bit of an awkward spot. I love HK, but over the last year I built a wall around me and the sandbox of my personal interpretations, that creates this disconnect between me and the rest of the fandom. I don't think that fact alone makes me upset, either. There's a reason why I'm still sitting there and playing in that sandbox to this day, and it's because I genuinely love doing it. I guess the disconnect just feeds into my already existing confidence issues and worries. Then again, I haven't really left the fandom, and I'm not planning to anytime soon. All I'm hoping for is that my low-confidence plagued brain improves, and stops telling me I'm doing something wrong by playing in the sandbox by myself.

Okay, not by myself, that would be selfish of me to say. There's still a lot of you here, people whom my silly AU clicked with, people who want to see more of it and are still there for the 6th slice of life drawing of the week. I love and appreciate you all, and I'm really grateful I can share the sandbox with you. You're the best, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm so, so happy that you found something in my art that resonated with you.

I don't know how to end this post tbh. Again, it's not really meant to be a vent post, not the usual kind at least. Even if some things about this frustrate or upset me a little bit, I think I'm slowly moving towards the acceptance stage. I don't want to change my interpretations so they're more in line with the rest of the fandom, and I don't want to force myself to engage with things that upset me just to feel like I belong. All I'm hoping is that I eventually stop having doubts; about this, and everything in general.

I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts. Maybe someone else feels like they're in a similar spot. Maybe hearing some words of encouragement that I'm not going insane with this would also help me accept the position I'm in. Maybe it's Maybelline.

[m0nsterjuice-art]

i wanna make an oc to ship with spring n alex but I'm worried about the cringe. is this too many layers of cringe? how deep does the cringe rabbithole go???

the answer is never, absolutely go for it lol you got my full support in putting an oc/ect in the middle of those two like an ice cream sandwich. they got two hands

[trilliath]

Hello Dr. Trill, how are you? I'm just leaving you this ask because I have not been on Tumblr much since January, but I found out today that you joined me down the slippery slope of 911LS and 911 fandom (though I stopped watching the latter a couple of years ago and am only reading fics) and it's just nice to know that we still share the same criteria for finding potential in a ship, it feels nostalgic! :P Would you like fic recs or are you good?

Ciaooooooo tesoro mio! It's been too long.

Oh my gosh yes I'm so deep down this rabbithole now, I'm writing so much garbage fic over it. I love that we're still on that overlapping wavelength - so funny how over more than a literal decade we can still go - yes, this. YES YOU GET IT!

Carlos and TK own my whole heart right now, oh my gosh. I'm obsessed. I'm about ready to make myself a supercut of the show where it's only scenes that are relevant to them lololol but I won't because I still love everyone else so much too like Nancy is my girl and jfc we get GINA TORRES I'm dead. Bur Carlos and TK dear god, I'm so deep in writing fic about them I'm literally forgetting to eat some days. I'm scouring scenes for background details. I'm writing stupid meta over clothing choices reflecting Carlos's emotional state. So ridiculous but honestly so fun.

And the whole Buck/Tommy thing took me OUT man, it's so fucking funny, I know I'm a late join to this fandom but I didn't even know it was coming. I just heard people talking about how they were excited Buck was bi, and I saw a few Buck/Eddie gifsets and genuinely assumed that was the canon ship. More interesting to me was all the talk about how we were missing out if we didn't already know that Hen was a hot badass lesbian firefighter so I was like - shit I'll check that out just for that part actually. So I did, and of course I adore Hen and Chim and Maddie and - ok just everyone - and was casually like, yeahh I see why people ship Buck/Eddie, does not vibe for me but I see it, that's nice they got their canon ship... and then I get to S7 and TOMMY shows back up and meets Buck and I bluescreen for a while because ohhhhhk yes, this is the chemistry for me. Yes.

So yeah, in the end I don't ship Buck/Eddie like... at all really. I feel the way about it that I do about Steve/Bucky which is basically... the way I feel about my childhood best friend who is also queer and who I love profoundly and intimately and not like a sister but also not like a lover y'know?

But I will always take recs my darling! Even when I don't ship it, I love all the characters so much regardless so if it's great I'll read it. And tell me what you love about your favorite characters and fav ships! So nice to hear from you and I hope you're doing well!

[nuri148]

Nuri my dearest ✨

I hope you're doing well!

Very curious -as usual- I'm here for the Fanfic Writers Ask Game with 14 - 51 - 55 & 75 👀 & to share a cup of tea as well!

😘

Bonjour et merci, Val! 😘

Here I am enjoying a cup of pennyroyal ☕ and pondering on these deep questions!

14- what’s your worst writing habit?

According to whom? If I go by all the writing advice onthe web, I should say "editing as I write". Like no, I can't keep of drafting if I see a typo two lines above what I'm writing, and if I go back and see something doesn't check, I need to fix it before I continue (unless it's, like, having to write a whole extra scene, in which case I do use a placeholder.)

In terms of what I consider a bad habit of mine, it's how easily I get distracted and sucked into rabbitholes not related to the thing I'm writing.

My husband would probably say I type too loudly 😆Sorry I'm so old I learned with a manual typewriter

51-share the synopsis of a story you work on that you haven’t published yet

Hmmm I don't know if I want to reveal much yet... it's arumika set after canon and before the events of my fic Not a Pirate. They will have to navigate a situation that shakes the basis of their relationship.

I may have made that sound deeper than the fic is sorry.

I've also one set right after the RtS which I was this close to putting up on AO3 but decided against it at the last minute bc the last part of it will likely go as a flashback in the first one I mentioned. I'll see.

55-do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

I prefer the term "in permanent hiatus" 🙈

I wrote about 600 words of a RM royal AU about 2 years back but I couldn't find the inspo to continue. I tried to adapt an original plotbunny of mine into AoT fanfic but I can't seem to get into it enough. Plus, I was in the middle of writing Clarity and my priority was (and still is) that universe. I'm not sure if I'll ever go back to it - or whether I'll ever write it as the original story. (weirdly enough, though I came with the idea before getting into the AoT fandom and more specifically rivamika, the main pair had an age gap and he was shorter then her.)

75-do you know how your story ends before you start writing?

Usually, yes. I don't really sit to write a story unless I know how I want it to end. Whenever I've dived into a story without having the ending clear, I've lost inspiration in no time.

However, knowing the end does not, unfortunately, keep me from losing inspiration/interest/faith from time to time. Especially if there are things that aren't clear in the middle too. That's the problem for instance with my current "on permanent hiatus" original story. I'm very satisfied with the start and I know how the ending should play, but I don't know how to solve the moddle without making it too boring or making it look like the end came from nowhere. It bugs me bc this was is to be the final story in a series of 4, and I don't want to leave it as a series of 3... Sorry, I'm rambling.

Once again, thank you SO much for your ask! Have a lovely weekend!

[sexymancatalogue]

I usually wouldn’t argue against stuff like this because I get it’s very hahah silly joke wink wink funny stuff but…. Genuinely are you sure you want Doug Walker / Nostalgia critic in here even as a joke?

I feel like a lot of people forget that he isn’t just lol bad funny Internet reviewer man but like… legit the entire change the channel thing started because of some truly heinous shit and incompetence, among those being that people accused him of covering for a pedophile and not firing them, to which he then responded that he actually DID fire them with a screenshot as prove…. Which then in turn lead to people looking at the date and finding out who said rapist was…. Which the Jane Doe from that case actually did NOT want to be made public.

There’s lots more going on here and that’s the stuff I can find on this in short notice that’s true, but there are many more allegations on wether or not people knew this even before said Reviewer was fired and such and how deep the rabbithole goes, so if you make this ask public and people want to add to this or correct me in the comments I HEARTILY WELCOME THEM TOO! This was ages ago and I don’t remember much of except being appalled by every new piece of information that came out about everyone in charge of the site.

Like…. I don’t want to be like „You put him down right now or you’re bad people!“ but also … yes I do wonder a little bit if people actually still remember all that stuff that went down with the site or if it’s just „Haha cringe reviewer!!“ and everyone is blissfully unaware.

I know what he did, and he’s on the sexipedia. Maybe I should’ve added like a “we don’t endorse this guy” or somethin idk -🤡

Edit: changed the post a little to add that, hopefully this solves the issue? - 🤡